#every time i sew i put the needle down and spend fifteen minutes trying to find it

[plague-parade]

i feel like we dont talk enough about how distressing and disturbing memory loss issues are. forgetting what you were talking about halfway through a sentence, putting something down and instantly forgetting where you put it. having to reread one paragraph over and over again because by the time youve moved onto the next sentence you dont remember what the one before it said. always doubting if your memories of things are real, not being able to remember important life events.

its so incredibly scary, it feels like your mind is constantly playing tricks on you and you start to doubt whats real and what isnt.

“i forgot” is treated like a lazy excuse when it’s genuinely such a big issue for so many people.

#this has been building up in me for a bit #i was talking to my mom and she brought up a concert we went to and i have zero memory of ever going #huge chunks of my life are just. gone. #every time i sew i put the needle down and spend fifteen minutes trying to find it #memory loss #memory issues #cognitive issues #cognitive decline #cognitive dysfunction

[green-eyeddragonfanfiction]

Bah, HumBuck! Plan B

Summary: You’re the newest Avenger. Realizing that Bucky plans to spend Christmas alone, you enlist the help of Wanda, your best friend, and Steve, Bucky’s best friend and your mentor. You’re determined to make his Christmas amazing. Baking cookies failed, so it’s time for the next step. Pairing: Bucky x Female!Powered!Reader Word Count: ~2,400 Warnings: blood (just a bit), language, fluff A/N: This is for Sam’s Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree Writing Challenge. My prompt was #16, “’This was a terrible plan.’ ‘This was your plan.’” @lovelynemesis I had so much fun writing this series, guys. *gifs not mine*

Masterlist // Plan A // Plans C and D

You groaned, sinking to the floor in defeat. Wanda picked through the cookies carefully, looking for any that might be worth saving, but seemed to deem them all ultimately unsalvageable and dumped them into the trash one tray after the other.

Hell, this hadn’t worked. Which meant it was time for Plan B.

“Well, while we wait for the ovens to fix themselves, we can make some decorations for the tree!” you said excitedly as you jumped up, giving everyone whiplash from your sudden change in demeanor. “Meet me in the common room in fifteen minutes!” you said excitedly as you made your way away from the ovens and towards the hallway.

Bucky sighed. “I think I’ll-”

You turned and walked backwards, scowling at him as you went. “No! Common room! Fifteen minutes. No exceptions. No excuses!” you said firmly, pointing at him insistently. You forgot about the small dip in the floor that divided the kitchen from the hallway and it caught your heel, causing you to catapult backwards, right into the carpeted floor. You hit your head hard, causing you to wince and clutch at it tenderly. That would probably turn into a lovely goose egg.

All four of them were wearing matching looks of pained sympathy, hands out as though they had tried to warn you (to be fair, they probably were about to).

You hopped back up, rubbing your sore head gently. “No exceptions!” you said fiercely again, pointing at each of them in turn while you glared at them challengingly before you raced off down the hallway, this time watching where you were going.

Fifteen minutes later you trudged into the common room, carefully balancing a pile of craft odds and ends in your arms.

The tree had been decorated already by Stark’s people, but it was a little modern and minimalistic. You knew it could benefit from a few home-made touches.

Their gazes snapped to you as you walked in, apprehension clear on their faces.

“Alright, I’ve got popcorn, thread, needles, paints, paint brushes, paper, scissors and some plain Christmas ornaments that I found in a closet on the third floor,” you said cheerfully, placing your hoard of things onto the table in front of them. You hadn’t actually found the Christmas ornaments in the base; they were your own. You’d been planning on decorating your own personal tree for your room, but ended up being too busy and they’d been sitting on your shelf, staring at you accusingly since late November.

“Popcorn garlands, hand-painted ornaments, and paper snowflakes?” Vision asked, scanning the pile of supplies.

“Yup!” you said cheerily as you opened the box of ornaments. The box split and the ornaments escaped, plummeting towards the ground, but stopped just before they hit the floor, surrounded by red mist. You looked at Wanda, relieved smile on your face. “Thanks, Wanda,” you said, placing the remainder of the ornaments gently onto the table. She nodded, small smile on her face as she carefully returned the ornaments to their box with her powers.

“I believe I will make snowflakes. I have a few patterns in mind that should produce visually appealing products,” Vision said, reaching for the stack of white paper and a pair of scissors.

“I’ll make some with you,” Wanda said, smiling fondly at Vision, who returned her smile with a shy one of his own.

“I think I’ll paint a few ornaments,” Steve said, reaching for the paints and brushes. You beamed; you’d had a feeling he’d like that option. You sat down in front of the coffee table, watching them happily as they began working away.

You turned to Bucky, who was looking at the pile of crafts like they might reach up and bite him at any moment.

“What do you wanna do, Bucky?” you asked, gesturing broadly at the table. “You could help Steve with the ornaments, or make a few paper snowflakes. I’m going to start popping the popcorn for the garlands, and it might be helpful to have someone helping with that! I’ve never made a-”

“Alright,” Bucky said shortly, looking up at you through his dark eyelashes.

You blinked once, confused, before smiling nervously. “Alright?” you asked slowly.

He shifted uncomfortably, pointing to the pile of unpopped popcorn. “I’ll help you with the garlands,” he mumbled, moving off of the couch to take a seat on the ground next to you.

Your heart beat faster at his sudden proximity, but you pushed your nervousness away and turned a bright smile on him. “Thanks! Do you wanna start threading the needles? I think it’d be a good idea to put one on both ends of the thread so that-”

“-we can work on it at the same time,” he said, nodding in understanding as he reached for the sewing kit. You smiled shyly, nodding. You picked up the first bag of popcorn and held it in your hands, focusing intently.

“Shouldn’t you just use the microwave?” Steve chastised, looking up from his ornament warily.

“Don’t wanna get up,” you mumbled, closing your eyes as you concentrated on focusing heat in your palms.

After a moment, the bag began to dance in your hands as kernels started bursting. You waited until there were a few seconds between each pop to stop applying heat. You opened your eyes, smiling in satisfaction.

Steve was smiling broadly at you, nodding his head proudly. “Nice control,” he praised.

Wanda clapped excitedly, giving you a thumbs up from her spot on Vision’s lap. Vision gave you a benevolent smile and a tentative thumbs up, which made you giggle.

You glanced at Bucky, who, to your surprise, was smiling along with everyone else, even if it was small by comparison.

You hastily looked away in embarrassment and opened the bag to let the popcorn cool. “Do you guys want another bag for a snack?” you asked before you shoved a few pieces into your mouth and chewed happily.

A chorus of vaguely affirmative noises was all the signal you needed and you carefully popped another bag just as skillfully as the first.

“Maybe we should have just had you bake the cookies like this,” Wanda said, gesturing to you as you opened the second bag and laid it out for everyone to eat.

“Haha. Very funny,” you said sarcastically, rolling your eyes playfully at her. You knew she was joking; making a bag of popcorn was a whole different ball game from the heat and consistency needed to bake cookies.

“Here,” Bucky said, holding a threaded needle out to you. You smiled at him and took it carefully, not wanting to embarrass yourself by sticking yourself with it.

“Thanks, Bucky,” you said earnestly as you grabbed a few pieces of popcorn and began trying to string them together. You were so focused on not stabbing yourself that you missed the warm, shy smile he was aiming at you.

First of all, making garlands out of popcorn was way more difficult than you’d thought it would be. By the time you were done you’d made a small mountain of crushed popcorn bits and you’d had to pop two more bags.

Second, to add insult to injury [to your ego], Bucky was unfairly good at it. In the time it took you to get one piece of popcorn threaded, Bucky strung together five or six.

By the time the two of you had finished, Wanda and Vision had peppered the entire common room with beautiful, intricate paper snowflakes that took your breath away. Steve had painted a bunch of cute little Christmas scenes on the ornaments and currently had them sitting in front of the electric fireplace to dry.

“Ready to put this up?” Bucky asked, holding his end of the long garland up in question.

“Definitely!” you said, beaming at him. You jumped to your feet, deftly dodging your pile of destroyed popcorn bits on your way over to the tree. It was only once you stood in front of the tree that you realized exactly how tall it was. You gazed up at the top, which towered above you, and groaned. This tree was probably twice your height. “I forgot a ladder! One sec, I’ll go-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Bucky said dismissively.

You turned to him, eyebrow raised in amusement. “Bucky, you’re tall, but you’re not that-”

You let out a yelp of surprise as he picked you up as though you weighed nothing at all and placed you securely onto his shoulders. Your hands reached for the only thing you could hold onto: his head. He looked up at you and you had to try hard not to catapult yourself off of his shoulders at the feeling. He was grinning up at you.

That bastard. He probably didn’t even what he was doing to you.

“Like I said, don’t worry about it,” he said as he handed the garland up to you. You were so distracted you didn’t even hear the quiet sniggers coming from Steve and Wanda.

You focused on putting the garland on the tree like your life depended on it, trying to ignore the heat creeping into your cheeks. Eventually, you were able to kind of (not really) ignore the fact that Bucky’s head was between your legs, asking him to move left or right as needed as you tried to get the hang of placing the garland strategically. Wanda, Vision, and Steve would pipe up with placement suggestions every once in a while. Eventually, though, you tried to get a good look at your progress but couldn’t because of how close you were to the tree.

So, instead of doing the smart thing- like asking Bucky to put you down for a minute or asking him to back up a bit- you went full idiot and leaned back on his shoulders, immediately losing your balance.

This was it. This was how you died; Falling off the shoulders of a beefy giant on Christmas Eve.

You yelped as the world tilted and you closed your eyes, bracing for the impact.

But the inevitable neck-breaking fall never came, and you were suddenly aware of Bucky’s hands holding you firmly in place by your thighs. He gave them a gentle tug forward, pulling you back upright and... even closer to his head. You felt your cheeks heat in earnest now, half out of embarrassment from your bumbling, half out of the position the two of you were in.

“Alright, Doll?” he asked, looking up at you worriedly with those stunning steel blue eyes. How could you not be okay? I mean, he was probably about to give you a heart attack with those eyes, but you could have died happily right then.

“Yeah. ‘M fine,” you muttered, unable to look away from his gaze.

“(Y/N)...” came a far-off voice from behind you that neither you nor Bucky seemed to pay much attention to.

“(Y/N),” it said again, more insistently this time.

You made a noncommittal noise in your throat, hyper-aware of the way Bucky’s hands seemed to squeeze your thighs unconsciously, gaze darkening marginally.

“(Y/N)!” Steve yelled, finally snapping you back into the real world.

You looked up and screeched. The tree was ablaze.

“FIRE!” you yelled, pointing to the tree in front of you, eyes widening in alarm.

“Don’t just stand there! You can stop that! You control fire,” Steve yelled, sounding both panicked and annoyed at the same time.

“Right!” you said hurriedly, concentrating hard to extinguish the flames with your powers.

By the time you’d gotten rid of the blaze, the tree was a half-burned mess and the smell of burned plastic and melted glass filled the room.

Once he was sure that the worst of the danger had passed, Bucky lifted you off of his shoulders and set you down carefully. You looked at Steve who was looking at the tree in mingled shock and sadness.

“Did... did I do that?” you asked hesitantly, not sure if you wanted to know the answer.

“Mhm!” came Wanda’s carefree confirmation from the couch.

You glanced beneath the tree and breathed out a sigh of relief. “At least the presents made it?” you asked, guilty smile on your lips.

Steve whirled on you and opened his mouth to chew you out but seemed to think better of it, instead muttering under his breath as he went to check on his ornaments.

You looked back at the tree, grimacing at your accidental handiwork. The garland you and Bucky made had been burned to a crisp, the sight making you sadder than you thought it would.

“C’mon, he won’t be mad for too long. It was an accident,” Bucky said quietly, nudging your shoulder gently with his arm; He must have thought you were upset because Steve was angry. “You should make some snowflakes to cheer yourself up,” he said encouragingly. You smiled up at him, his kindness more than you’d been expecting from the usually stoic, quiet assassin. “You’re right!” you said excitedly, returning to the table to make some beautiful paper snowflakes.

“Why is there so much blood?” you asked anxiously, clutching the scrap of fabric to the giant cut on your hand. You’d given yourself a truly impressive gash while cutting out your snowflake, resulting in the enormous bloody mess that was your palm.

“Because you didn’t notice right away and let it get everywhere!” Wanda said from behind you as the five of you made your way to the med wing. Bucky carried you the entire way, even though you’d assured him you could walk just fine. He wouldn’t take no for an answer and you weren’t going to fight him on it... you also may have enjoyed the entire journey in his arms, but you wouldn’t admit that to anyone.  

“Oh, right,” you said, grimacing as the fabric scraped against the cut.

“Vision, do you know how to work-”

“I am already on it,” Vision said, phasing ahead of the group into the med room.

Fifteen minutes later you were walking out of the med ward, the gash just a faint pink scar on your palm.

“Damn, Doctor Cho really is amazing,” you said as you held your hand in front of your face and studied it closely. Your brain was working in overdrive while you walked; Plan A and B failed, so plans C and D were next.

Well, Darn. Time for C and D! (Next Chapter)

This series is finished, but if you want to be tagged in my other fics, check out this post! Sorry, but responses to this post asking to be tagged will be ignored, so send me an ask or like one of the taglist posts!

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