#even if they dont make that *one* comic anymore.

[greatestjubilee]

bleh

#hi all. lucy here #i have barely been drawing lately because ive just been unable to #like i feel like i lost my spark. i dunno #i used to draw so much and make so many comics when i was absolute rock bottom mentally #like the funnier i was the worse i was doing #ive been better lately but i truly feel like ive almost sacrificed my ability to draw or create stuff for some more mental stability #i just....i dont know. i feel like i can't do anything i used to do with art. like im not funny or have no ideas or just think stuff like #oh ill just draw this because people will wanna see it #but i gave that up because not even i wanna see it anymore #i hope that i can feel like drawing again one day i just dont know how to get it back. it really feels like ive lost a major part of myself #this is my rambling here just to let you know i am still around just kind of laying low because im drained

[jondoe279]

atp i genuinely doooon’t care if the old guard two is the worst thing put to film i just want to see the best character of all time (andromache the scythian) and her loser henchmen and everyone’s favorite girl nile freeman again

#its not even funny anymore WHERE IS ANDY AND NORIKO!!!!!!!!!!! it was supposed to be the year of dyke drama 😞😞😞😞😞😞 #like given the way they structured the first movie the second would have to be almost wholly original and differ a lot from the comic #like andy cant go thru the shit noriko puts her thru so im guessing the script would switch her out with nile getting tossed in the ocean #but that doesnt really work with norikos comic characterization (trying to get andy to see her point by making her go thru what noriko did #isnt something quynh will gaf about if andy isnt one of the immortals. andys become thr ‘vermin’ noriko hates!!!) #and given the end of the movie everyones chill with copley so joe and nickys whole subplot cant exist anymore…. idk maybe theyll switch out #copley with moose?? idc as long as we get their stupid car conversation tbh makes me laugh #honestly given the changes that would have to be made they probably just made a stupid movie and don’t want to release it. but I DONT CAREEE #its not exactly like the first one was that good i still mute it in preparation for every cringe needle drop like its a lame movie but its #genuineeeeee fun like i seriously do not care netflix give me my movie!!! #the old guard

[evilmagician430]

who up sinning their fest

#one of my worst recent hyperfixations i'll admit #and i dont even have an excuse like ohhh i used to read this back in the late 2000s before all the terf shit #no i got into it in late 2023 this school year cause i stumbled across the tvtropes page #and i was like 'sinfest'? isnt that the name of that terf Twitter comic? but the cover image showed a sick ass artstyle so i read it #and im just obsessed with it now its such a strange spectacle. its like a political cartoon and a newspaper comic at the same time #my fav era has gotta be late 2000s maybe early 2010s sinfest... hell maybe even mid 2010s sinfest if i ignore the sisterhood #now every strip is just about jewish people or calling trans women groomers #and almost every once-likable character is now canonically a terf and/or racist and/or antivaxxer etc #or theyre just not in the comic at all anymore like my dear criminy and fuschia #i hope we never get another appearance from them godbless #cause last time we saw criminy he was helping squig and slick break a terf out of she/her penitentiary. with fuschia's permission #theyre definitely the best part of 2010s sinfest. a bygone era #the best part of 2000s sinfest is the sharp artstyle and lil e just being evil #and the best part of 2020s sinfest seems to be. um. laughing at how ridiculous it is? its kind of hard to enjoy though. #i intend to stay updated on it because i like being able to say i've read all of sinfest start to finish #but man i gotta get an adblocker soon cause i read it on the official website cause idk how else to read it online and the ads are constant #really funny when ur reading a strip criticizing the prevalence of ads in our day to day life #not as funny when you remember tatsuya is probably making money off of them. so yeah im gonna install ublock #but the problem is i usually read it on my school computer to pass time. and that technically isnt my computer so i cant download ublock #anyways. i could ramble on about how much i love and hate and am obsessed w sinfest all day but heres some fanart of the characters. #id like to make my own headcanon version of sinfest aka sinfest if it was good #but headcanons arent enough... i need to kill tatsuya ishida #sinfest #squigley sinfest #monique sinfest #lil e sinfest #the devil sinfest #tangerine sinfest #images that are horrid to see and look at #mspaint

[ruffgem]

im actually like giving up so hard rn its crazy like i know its normal for everyone to be burnt out at the end of the semester after break but i literally did nothing all day in class today, skipped my film lecture for two weeks in a row now, havent started the fucking presentation for my senior thesis NOR have i made nearly enough art for it, havent started my painting final, and also i have a film essay due at midnight thats currently a totally shit draft and im just like ummm idk i dont care i dont know how to care. i just want to lay down. draw a funny guy maybe. on the one hand its kind of awesome because i promised myself i would try not to people-please as much this year but on the other hand its lowkey scary becasue i feel like im losing the only thing that actually motivates me to do things in an academic setting (fear lmfao)

#at least i did my comic #i am excelling in one (1) class #sry for this long ass vent post im making it because im procrastinating the video essay that makes me want 2 throw up when i think abt how #much its going to suck to edit #its worth 15 percent of my grade but that thought isnt even striking fear into my heart anymore #its like ok i dont mind failing LM FAO #help...............

[eternally-tired-cryptid]

on one hand I wanna write my fic ideas wherein my marvel oc gets sent to the alternate universe of Gotham and hijinks ensue whilst she tries to survive and get back and the batfam and such slowly learn more info abt her world and how it's being threatened atm and she needs to go back and help and whatnot.

But on the other hand, the readers wouldn't know the marvel related backstory of this OC and would have. No context for her going in

But ALSO then the readers would know abt as much abt this mysterious figure as the batcrew do, and get to learn via flash backs and her slowly revealing info to them as safety allows

Then there's also just a general. Idk if there's any sort of oc etiquette when it comes to writing oc centered fics? My brain goes so hogwild when I read anything that I usually avoid oc fics other people write just bc I usually read and enjoy fics at face value but I also go "now what would happen if this OC was here?" And that gets real complicated when other people's ocs are involved

#jasper rambles #this is a rambly one yall #fanfic discussion #fanfic etiquette? #i just. listen. i made a vampire oc for captain america specifically of the mcu.. and i was thinking and like. gotham is the Perfect City fo #r a vampire to live right. so like. then i was like what would she do if she ended up in gotham. how would that go. and then i could reveal #her marvel backstory thru tidbits she drops and flashbacks. bc i have her mcu timeline pretty well planned out #tho also her existence (along w a few pther ocs) drastically changes the course of the mcu so some things hapen VERY differently (mainly civ #il war and then the start of the following arcs) so like id aalso have to reveal where the canon divergence from the mcu is during the flash #backs. and then ALSO i have a p decent grasp of the batfam and whatnot but i havent had the oppurtunity to read many comics so i dont even. #what if i just FAIL at their characterization and im actually wronf magically #and then ALSO comes the question of should i include my batman dc oc? bc SHES a whole. package. theres a LOT to unpack w her. tho for this s #pecific fic idea i think itd be fun to just. have her be Another Batfam Member. like yeah shes got her own stuff going on. but this fic woul #dnt dive into it anymore than it dives into the other batfam members #the other issue is deciding where in the mcu timeline this oc gets thrown into an au and why and how or if that affects the mcu timeline fro #m there. cuz thatd need to be decided for the sake of flashbacks. and if im gonna ise flashbacks id love to try and plan it out so it aligns #with the plot happening in gotham. i dont necessarily want like. a running Plot in the flashbacks. but id want them to be scenes from her li #fe in mcu that reveaal stuff that helps understand the decisions she makes in the gotham plot #but ALSO in the gotham plot. id wanna have it either be that her presence has caused some sort of ripple that the gotham baddies are using t #o hirt people or else some other unrelated gotham baddies plot is happening and this oc being herself sees trouble and runs towards it to tr #y and help people. even tho she has her own stuff to deal w. and then makes herself a target of the gangs and also potentially screws someth #ings up bc she doesnt have as intimate of knowledge abt the baddies and gangs as the batfam do since most of em grew up in the streets of g #otham one way or another #so like. and like she can hold her own. she was a young woman in brooklyn in the 30/40s. but its still a different environment in gotham rat #her than in brooklyn new york. so itd be. yeah. tbh i feel like the fact that im putting this much thought into it means i will probably try #to write and post it on ao3. idk when tho. im trying not to post more fics on ao3 so i can focus on my xmen fic #sso. anyway if you read all this feel free to share your thoughts and or like. sorry not sorry for the rambly essay of tags <3 #i told you jasper rambles

[bevydev]

post i didnt save save me

post i didnt save

save me post i didnt save...

(cannot find post i saw this morning and didnt save to drafts, any help would be much appreciated 😭)

#in all seriousness i did see this comic (more like piece of art with how much style was put into the comic) about a silhouette figure #helping a crow that said it had lost its flock by placing the crow on their shoulder and (i think) saying that theyd be happy to guide it #until it found its flock again; then theres this artwork at the bottom of the comic with the silhouette holding a bloody sword #they were tall wore a cowboy hat and was completely covered in shadow with only white eyes and white sword with blood on it having any colo #i think they said other things at the end of the comic but i honesty cannot for the life of me remember what it couldve been #all i remember is the figure standing with the sword; the hilt in their hands the tip in the ground and the crow sitting on its shoulder #it should be from someone i follow since i dont follow tags like art comic or artwork so it wasnt a recommended post #and sorry to out myself as someone who uses the 'include likes' feature but since its nowhere it on my dashboard anymore #very very likely it mustve been a liked post instead of a reblogged one so theres no searching for it on other blogs either #so sorry to out myself as someone who uses that but bc a lot of time people will just like a piece of art to save it #even if its really cool instead of reblogging them and i would be none the wiser about it (to be fair im keeping my likes open from now on) #okay..im done; im gonna go make some spaghetti or something 😔

[sunxstreaker]

Why am i still drawing

#txt #for myself im thinking. things im not entirely happy with but at least im doing something #why am i doing it? it doesnt make me happy anymore #im guessing i still want my art to resonate with people. or make someone happy #i guess even if its just a single person. i dont know if i actually want to spend my resources on that #but what else am i good for #i cant seem to be able to find it in me to start doing something else #so all im stuck with is art no one wants. not even me. #i know ill keep drawing whatever it is i feel like drawing. #meaningless and ugly but at least i guess im still doing something #i grief what time i had before and what i could do before ajd inspirations i had before. but it was never enough for me #back then i thought what im doing is not enough. and i wish i could be there to tell myself that im doing amazing things #cuz i cant do them anymore #every year i draw less and less #maybe why i did so much is because. despite my little skill. i just kept doing it. because it made me happy #i drew shitty comics and shitty crossovers and all those dumb things not because there was going to be crazy happy reception #but because i wanted to. i thought what i was doing was cool. what happened to me?

[tibialtybalt]

4, 10, 26 for art asks!

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

You wouldn't be able to tell since I draw them so much as of late but arval........their honeycomb. plate. tabard . Thing. I vacillate wildly between being obsessed with it and loathing it depending on if I'm drawing it or not. Also what is going on on the back of their head? Their hair is so cubey I don't understand... And if it's epi then you've got the wing things which took me ages to figure out how they're shaped for some reason

Their design looks chefs kiss MWAH in game or in finished pieces but oh my goodness please help my doodling, cutting-corners hand

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

I'm a huge fan of crinkly clothes, cloth that comes to oddly sharp angles. Like where big poofy sleeves that are cuffed come to an end. Or where pants crinkle, at the knees and ankles. These bad boys

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

Hmm that's a difficult question because the stuff I draw is 90% of the time so Very straightforward funny fan art...

Oh but one time someone reblogged a MDZS post of mine and said in the tags that they didn't go there but thought it was funny, and the post is. This one. And you need SO MUCH context to get what the joke is like wow that is an entirely different joke.

#tia posts #tysm for the ask :D #...should i try to explain the joke even though its major spoilers and guaranteed to make it less funny #im gonna try. feel free to not read any of this #so that sword can only be drawn by the late enemy of the state wei wuxian (wwx). and ppl have been keeping an eye out for #him resurrecting himself‚ possessing ppl‚ etc. so when mo xuanyu draws the sword everyone goes 'alright wwx we know its you. die again' #and the thing is. theyre RIGHT. that *is* wwx and the sword *can* only be drawn by wwx. #its just that the 2nd guy to draw the sword‚ jiang cheng (jc)‚ is wwx's little brother that he loves SO much #and a long time ago jc lost his magic and was devastated so wwx gave his own magic to jc and told No One About It #not even jc (he said 'look ive found a way to get your magic back!! wdym youre worried im not using my magic anymore? dont worry abt it') #so the sword recognizes jc as wwx. and like. there are some incredibly smart ppl in the room who've figured out that that guy is wwx #AGES go. they *know* thats wwx. and they *know* the sword cant be drawn. so what is going ON #is jc possessed? are there two wwxs? wtf?? the smartest ppl doing their own grand schemes and theyre just dumbfounded. what do you do. #it also ruins both the 'thats wwx!' reveal AND the 'jcs magic was never recovered‚ hes just been going on his brothers sacrifice' #so thats the comic. ig its still funny if you read it like theyre just lying about who can draw the sword and who cant though

[tunakat]

im feeling so many ways abt late a5a2 homestuck (i just finished it actually) but the sufferer hit way different.

homestuck late a5a2 spoilers incoming!!!

adding this after writing way too much shit that im not fucking deleting: vent cw too

ok so my main thing that made me feel something (a rarity, like almost unheard of /gen /srs) was the signless' story. something about it just envoked feelings within me, i dont even know how to describe them

something about this fucking frame just made me feel... idk what. dread? pity? genuinely idk. obviously its not the whole "ouuuu tied up so hawttt" bullshit, idk i think the story combined with the music and imagery just made it to the farthest pits of my soul, and this point was the breaking/overwhelming point.

i almost want to sit thru all of it again just to try and figure it out. i want to feel that again to understand it. obviously if i read it again i wont feel anything cuz thoughts, emotions, and feelings are a rare experience for me.

i feel like the story felt like a metaphor for my life, not to get all emo and dark and edgy or whatever about it, im being completely level-headed and genuine with this.

fuck thats what it feels like's happening inside of me. i feel my compassion and love for others depleting, as its been for years, with the cards ive been dealt (not getting into that right now). ive been conscious of an eternal rage slowly growing inside of me, and these past few years i feel like the ratio of compassion vs. rage within me is leaning in a way that im just barely able to see how bad and scary it is. ive been subjected to a life of suffering in almost every place i could imagine, yet i always tried to stay a loving, caring person for the few individuals who bring about some light in this darkness.

yet i can see it happening before my very eyes. i see i am no longer who i once was, im worse, im violent and enraged all the time and its getting worse and harder contain with every passing day. its scary being able to watch yourself rot away into a bottomless pot of boiling rage.

torture and execution has always been the metephor ive used when describing how i live and feel inside. i think to see something so deep within me and something so relatable in front of me, written and drawn out as a story, i think that broke me.

#homestuck spoilers #cw vent #the signless #homestuck #this comic is the only thing thats made me feel something like this #it kinda makes me feel.. less lonely and like im not the only one whos lived like this. #kinda fucking wild how its the mutant bloods who i relate to the most #its almost like i am them in a way. perhaps my creation triggered a reaction throughout the universe to have them created #like i was their inspiration or theyre based off me #i know its not true but it makes me feel better #idk how i feel #i learned feelings the way an AI learns how people talk #or how they act etc. so like all these complex things are impossible for me to compute #ive written too much my hand really hurts cuz the whole possible fractured wrist thing or whatever. bye #no fucking way im leaving this in the queue or drafts #this is being posted publicly so everyone can see my fucking stupid fucking meltdowns #i really need to stop writing so much self deprecating and self exposing and self discovery bullshit #is that even what this is??? i dont fucking know anymore i cant stop typing fuck #nobody even reads any of my rants or tags or vents or whatever anyways. not like im looking for help or pity #but fuck i dont even know what reason i write or post shit like this #nothing good will ever come out of it #god i hate myself more than anyone else #i guess its good im my biggest adversary. i keep close tabs on each and every move ive made in the past #and everything i may or may not do in my future #i just realized this sounds like im playing a character wtf is wrong with me am i really this fucking moronic? #this is genuinely such a pathetic depressing annoying piece of shit to read back but i still feel like i have to post it #fuck the tags are longer than the post this is so stupid #fuck

[apathyfairy]

i spent 3 months watching gilmore girls and i finally finished it and a year in the life and then netflix is like hmm what should we recommend... gilmore girls season 1 episode 1 is starting in 3 seconds

#against my better judgement i watched a year in the life again and it was so much worse the second time. i only watched it when it first #came out and then forgot everything that happened because it was so bad it didnt even have to be that bad but it was so bad. #like this might be an unpopular opinion but god whenever they reboot shows or do like a reunion the magic from the original is just gone #that came out wrong i dont mean the original show loses it's magic but that the reboot is missing the thing that made the original special #like ok spoilers and also unpopular opinions but there was just like no chemistry between any of the cast anymore IMO. imo dont come for me #i have no idea what the actors were doing or what they had to move around to make cameos or whatever but just imo alexis was like on another #planet i have no idea why rory was like that. it was just so. routine and expected ? like they were acting how we would expect them to act #but it was just so insincere? i guess is the word #like season 7 sucked and we all know it but god season 7 was better than a year in the life in retrospect #the ONLY good thing about a year in the life is emilys story like good for her finally living her own life and finding what she loves #that makes sense and that all adds up like love that for her. #im biased because ive been a jess girl since i was 8 but jess. fantastic. sucks that he's still in love with rory but hes doing great fine #lane deserved more than that that was bullshit that she was there for 5 minutes and sookie too like #from what i remember melissa mccarthy couldnt be in it or didnt want to or i dont know but i didnt like that they essentially made sookie #abandon jackson and her kids idk. #christopher i dont care about but PARIS deserved more as well #dont get me started on the wild plot omg. #but that's another thing that ruins the reboots is they just try to add such topical references and it just ages so badly imo #and anyway im just so confused. rory is still sleeping with logan but she has a boyfriend whose name she cant remember but also #she's having one night stands at comic con ? #all for the show to end with SPOILER her saying she's pregnant ? #? ? ? #? #ok. #like. they ruined her character a long time ago but they just completely gave up in this. #lorelai is lorelai i expected nothing else so it was boring i just. think this was the wrong show to do a reunion with i dont know. #i didnt watch it but i think the friends thing is the best way to go where they dont make new episodes but just bring the cast back together #like it was so much better with us all just imagining luke and lorelai got married and had another kid and rory went on to be a journalist #and that was that but here we are

[this-should-do]

dang actuslly hold on, hold on, i didnt realize this the first time i played black mesa, but in xen theres a whole ass cave full of hev zombies and all the headcrabs they killed before they were overtaken and a bunch of them are just eating the remains of un zombified hev users

#oough more horrible situations to make gordon experience in comic format #truly the best part of gordon is the trauma like yes u have seen and done horrible things ily ur so fucked up #i love it when charas get to see what they could have been if they had been slightly less resilient or slightly less observant #or if tbey had been on a different assignment #like yes be able to see ur possible past present or future in a faceless entity that bears resemblance to you who uve never known #and never will know and k ow therell never be another like you as u becum a horrible remnant of a destroyed present #and ull never be able to return home due to internal amd external factors #if u even thought u had a home in the first place and now beleieve ull never have one again #and maybe u consider the shallow characature of urself that u se before u to be ur ineveitabke future as u dont expect to make it out alive #and maybe u co sider them to know u more than anyone uve met has known u and u know them more than u ever could another living person #do u even k ow urself anymore afte rwhat uve done these past 2 days? #anyaays dont mind me lol im having fun #iwillspeakincessantly

[meltedhorror]

what if I fucked around and joined a fandom again haha jk unless

#idk just kinda miss it yk #even though it terrifies me since I don't really trust people since what happened last time #haven't really dared to get too involved since that one specific fandom #if you know you know #idk I just kinda miss being in that kinda community #plus I dont really talk to ppl much anymore generally either #would be nice to make new friends ig #also havent had the energy to work on the comic at all bc mental health happened #and dont know when I'll be returning to that

[hecksupremechips]

Might make something about abuse, might not. We’ll see gamers

#like in my mind its a comic but im already pretty bad at making even like short shitpost comics let alone long ones #I wouldnt go very complex at all with the art but its still overwhelming #if i dont feel like it ill find some other way to make something of the same vibe #but yeah lately just been like really thinking about my own life #and ive been horribly abused and am living in am abusive environment rn and i dont feel safe #but i have no way of getting out cuz im financially dependent and i cant seem to find any ways of making money #and by the time id be able to save enough money i think its gonna be too late #no one seems to realize this it seems #i dont have a clue whats gonna happen anymore #i just. cant fucking stay here any longer not a fucking chance #but maybe if i sound sad enough someone rich will care and give me money lol

[lunataurora]

kinda funny seeing that last queued tf post with me gushing in the tags abt the comic bc i havent felt joy or even an emotional connection reading mtmte for a while

#idk man something just aint right. whether im just getting hit with another depressive episode or. idk. #the writing just feels... different. it feels weirdly cartoony? even though. the beginning was also really cartoony? but this feels worse #i liked the beginning so much more i liked the characters that cared so little about each other and the overall oppressive mood #idk part of it is i really dont like typical western superhero comic tropes and writing styles at aalllllllll #i cant stand the lack of foreshadowing and 'well just believe that it was secretly always like this' and the superpowers and trying to #raise the stakes by just Saying 'you might die' but its ok nobody does nor does the concern cross your mind #and i cant tell if the jokes are worse or more frequent but certain characters dont even seem like themselves anymore to me #the last thing i enjoyed was around when rewind killed a man. everything since has felt like some marvel movie type writing and it hurts #what happened to nuance and reading between the lines my good friends nuance and reading between the lines #'the one with sunder was good its a really good horror' <- why did you lie to me. are you mad at me #it wasnt even fun..... wasnt even interesting...... #isnt this supposed to be a story abt attempting to adjust to postwar life and how fucked everything is. and how no #-thing is morally cut between good/evil? theres nuance? theres depth? whered all that depth go? maybe i imagined it this whole time #like.even the thing with skids gave me less of an impact when its surrounded by such. cheezyness. it deserves more consideration? respect? #good god its a very direct depiction of a very real horror dealt to rEAL PEOPLE #AND ITS CORRELATED WITH 'OTHERS RECEIVE SUPERPOWERS FROM THIS REVELATION' FUCK YOU #i feel bad for that plotline existing in that fucking situation jesus fucking christ you can't just do something like that #like. just. 'trauma gives you superpowers and also your suffering makes others stronger' how abt i go drink bleach. #maybe someone else will have a GREAT time if i do. <- kidding but like. christ man what the fuck #does this have to do with his whole 'i shouldnt have done red alert like that' idk what to tell you boss but that was nowhere near as bad #as the skids superpower giving scene. #red alert was fine it made sense it was severely relatable. it happens. but skids? no that fucking doesnt. what is that even trying to mean #beyond yknow. what guilt does to people. and cementing the worst of the war that um. isnt going to feel much justice at all it seems #sorry im in a very. tear everything apart kind of mood #dummy posts

[todayisafridaynight]

#ANYWAY LET ME COOK. im not a good chef but i can at least cook an egg lemme see what i got...

This is leagues ahead of Jo as per Substitute Father so I'm sure you'll do great <3 NOT TO SET THE BAR LOW... Arakawa POV part of that was sooooooo cute but I am of course VERY MUCH LOOKING FORWARD regardless of what you've got in the oven :] I think it's funny we always end up with roughly the same concepts but I just shoehorn RGGJo into it instead

DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN THOUGH WITH HOW THE MARKETING FOR YLAD KEPT HAMMERING IN THE SON THING ONE WAY OR ANOTHER... BUT THE SCENE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT IS FUNNY and honestly half of the things Westerners [<- counting myself just this once] find funny in RGG apparently aren't intentional so what's one more

Substitute Father haunts me since i really don't like it but i also know that One (1) person really enjoyed it so i don't want to delete it SOOO the most i can do at this point is try to write something better as an apology and try to forget.. and hopefully let arakawa FPOV in a better fic..

BUT YEAH LMAO they really werent subtle bout it in retrospect.... teehee..

#snap chats #i dont like saying hate but I Do Hate a lot of things i make and i do go back to delete a sum of them #even if its like. Fine or whatever i'll just become overburdened with shame or embarrassment and i'll want it gone #i wanted to delete that fic before you saw it so im sorry you happened upon it #i wouldve deleted it sometime later but. then i saw people like it and i know i always go Aw Man when i cant find a thing anymore so.. #here's to.trying to do better. even if i have no faith in my ability to write #its why i do comics and w/e..... less thinking involved... it comes easier to me... #if i sit here thinking about it anymore ill give myself an Actual Real Stroke LMAO so moving on #funny we have similar ideas :) idk what you have in mind but still lmao..... small world.. or something like that.. #in any case... crying at the specification that This Once you're a westerner #sorry to sully you with such a heinous title 😩 no one likes it tbf... #i try to find comedy in like. Everything but maybe that is a Westerner thing who's to say not me #it's how i cope.... speaking of tho i checked my blood pressure Correctly this time :) it as 150 ☠️ sooo i MIGHT die... #we can only hope right LMAOO my chest hurt a lil.... oh noo here it comes... #jk i have to stare at this google doc for another two hours and do nothing as i feel ineptitude overcome me #also it's my sister's birthday :) it just became my sister's birthday as i was typing this LMAO #ok im done now bye

[vitrific]

Stressed bc of some stupid freak and a scary storm so i stayed up really late (4am) and then i read a disturbing comic thing bc someone on my tl was like "omg this is so profound and dark it really puts art and the meaning of life as an artist in perspective" (it was just about lesbians who violently kill themselves in disturbing manners with too much detail and then spend eternity torturing people after they go to hell themselves. For being gay and killing themselves.) and now i feel sick bc all i had to eat today was cookies and a piece of salmon and an ill timed nap and a cup of coffee right before bed. And it is father's day tomorrow.

#vitrificationonline #the comic also included one of my intrusive thoughts as a central theme which is not helping #im not even going to say the nameof the comic bc im probably blowing the actual disturbingness out of proportion for personal reasons #but im just gonna try to relax and remind myself that things are going to be fine and that it is okay to have a bad few days #and that intrusive thoughts cannot hurt me unless i act on them and im not going to act on them so its fine #its all ok #i think ill feel better tomorrow because i already feel my heart less painfully which means im coming out of my pain and agony attack #except it is fathers day so if my family forces me to go to church to hear about the roll of the father #the fucking umbrella of authority shot #or whatever #when my dad is a pos #and religion being a pos #and öife fucking sucking always #im attacking rocks with hammers #i am going to stick a piece of paper to my wall and paint a huge scary postwr and sell prints of it online of how upset i will be #and on top of that i think I'm making no sense anymore and i dont know that i have for a while