#even if it burns [musings]

[shortnotsweet]

In a Week by Hozier ft. Karen Cowley

“The raven is death, obviously. When I die, I want a good tombstone—something right spooky. LT’s got something against the underground, though you’d think that would be just his kind of place. That’s alright. He needs to, he can cremate me. It’s not exactly Catholic, and Mam would turn in her grave, but God is a unicorn and no one is pure anymore, so. What’s all that got to do with me?”

Johnny “Soap” McTavish has a journal. Had. It is his no longer.

Simon “Ghost” Riley had dreams—awful ones, the kind that sank claws into his lungs, dragged him into sleep, and then sent him careening out of it. He still has dreams, but they’re different, now. Better. Johnny’s pages have folded themselves under his eyes and gotten into his head, brighter and more infectious than anything else has ever been. It’s more than the past, that rotting carcass behind him, and more than now. Now is nothing. Now is ash. It’s like, it’s like—blinding, is what it is. He’s a blind man.

It is biblical now. Ghost has read it backward and forward and sideways and inside out. When he runs out of things to read, he reads them again, and when that is not enough, he reads between the lines.

#ghostsoap #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soapghost #soap x ghost #ghoap #call of duty #cod mw3 #my art #ghost is obsessed with soaps journal bc it breaks his heart at first like really tears it apart but soon focuses on what soap has written #about him. words of admiration and envy and love and fondness. real fondness. jokes made for him thoughts about him musings etc. #and johnnys snippets about his family and how he wants to settle down eventually #then all simon can think about is what life they could’ve lived together after the ‘war’ #nevermind that there will always be war be death be blood and love is there and it matters but it changes nothing #for simon there will always be johnny #who even knows if thats what soap wanted if he loved him back if ghost even remembers him as he was instead of what he wishes he could have #become to ghost if things had gone as they should. who knows. the dead dont sing dont speak. all thats left is what they wrote #the cigarettes refer to soaps smoking habit and how ghost disapproves like a nagging wife. the ash smudges and burns in the paper allude to #ghost deciding to have soap cremated as a spouse decides post mortem due to his own aversion to being underground bc he doesn’t want soap #to be nothing but a decomposing body. he couldn’t bear that. he couldn’t bury him alive or dead so burning it is

[layzeal]

i absolutely eat it UP that one of the reasons wwx is so hesitant to believe lwj has feelings for him is that he can't tell if lwj treats him with so much goodness and kindness because he's simply that good of a person or if there's ~something more to it~

and!! here's what gets me: he's 100% right to question that. because from all we know, lan wangji would still have protected and done everything he did even if he wasn't in love with wwx. it all comes down to his beliefs, and standing up to them by protecting him. wwx is afraid to jump to conclusions because his fears are genuinely very well based!

#seriously take a shot everytime wwx muses about how good of a person lwj is #even at their worst moments wwx still held a tremendous amount of respect for him #he's under the belief that lwj is doing this not bc he's in love but because he believes in him #and he's not wrong! lwj's love isnt shown through the grand gestures! but through the small quiet ones #would lwj still protect wwx if he didn't have feelings for him? yes #would lwj have drank alcohol and eaten spicy food and kept the rabbits he gave him? nope #and wwx slowly comes to realize this!! it just takes him time and getting to know lwj better!!! #AND IT'S SO GOOD AUGHHHH i just love their love story #i love the grandiose acts among the many quiet ''i love you's'' #anyways y'all know it already but this is a ''wwx is oblivious to lwj's feelings'' hatehouse #he's not oblivious fandom just hates a well written slow-burn love story #modao #lace speaks

[suddencolds]

~

#not snz #more musings 📝 / mini vent: #not sure why my social battery is so limited 😭 and also so inconsistent #i feel like i can't sustain the amount of... like continued/consistent enthusiasm i see others giving esp in group settings #i just don't know how to engage in that way without burning out #over the past few weeks i've been stuck in like #a strange state where i can't muster the energy to properly respond to even the people i'm most excited to reply to #which is strange?? #(and if that is you i am sorry 😭 i love you and i will get back to you) #i think i can't even like manage to get myself into the mindset of enjoying something for myself (eg. a conversation with a friend) #i think a part of it is the stress from work leeching into my personal life #i feel like i've been working so hard and for such long hours but its the kind of work where the progress i've made is very hard to track?? #:( i just want to be off of ******* work so i can work on ******* work again #i also want to get ahead enough on everything in my life so that i write y+v D: #i feel like i haven't had a properly restful day in weeks... even over the weekend i was busy attending to others' needs #i just want a break from it all... but i dont have enough time to take off... but i dont know how much more of this i can take #i remember also feeling during uni like i was drowning #like there were simply not enough hours in a day to deliver everything i promised. it's such an awful feeling #i just feel defeated. like i've felt exhausted for weeks and weeks on end and like i spend every waking hour working on something or other #but ofc there is nothing to do but to keep at it 😭 other people can handle all of this and more #there are so many people i refuse to let down

[deiscension]

I'm so glad we're passing around those bunnies and I for one think we all need to do write-ups about how they relate to our muses.

#▌ ◈ as the incense burns ; ⌜dash commentary⌟ #i really AM clapping and cheering for this bc that's been some of my fave art for YEARS #tell us about the symbolism it holds for your muse(s)!!! holding my mic out!!!! #when i put that in my queue i started a write up on how BOTH bunnies are sqx even if most would see them as only the white one #but. it got too long. maybe soon.

[broadswordandpistol]

"So I'm alive, probably to a lot of people's regret. What'd I miss while I was out?"

#open #// hey I am in fact alive #// might even have muse #// at least for a bit #// just was really burned out post-sakura festival #// and then health stuff #// which on the bright side is mostly resolved? #// hope you all are doing well

[necroticboop]

❝ call me bitch.

call me villain.

call me she-wolf.

call me bad omen.

call me your worst nightmare

wearing a red-lipped smile.

-even better, call me by my name.

― Amanda Lovelace, The Witch Doesn't Burn in This One

#muse inspo #amanda lovelace #the witch doesn't burn in this one #even better call me by my name #✦ musings #✦ m:musings

[apollos-boyfriend]

A part of the fun is Y’know learning, and watching the streamers learn the language. Not that they’re all different language.

But also why the massive jump in language count? Like bilingual is reasonable for everyone learning. And I know AI is there, but I imagine there’s still going to be learning since you can’t rely on ai to translate everyone, but how the absolute hell are you going to learn 5 languages and keep them straight at once?

Like you’re gonna jumble up things learning one language. But five? That’s a whole new ball game, and going to be confusing as hell.

ITS ALL SO. it’s clear desperation to stay relevant. to be bigger and better than everyone else without care for how you get there as long as you do. there’s no love. no passion. no thought as to the how as long as there’s any sort of payoff. the streamers may suffer as shitty AI and even shittier communication gets to them, but hey, he’s got himself in the public eye again now that the old smp crashed and burned. it’s so obvious what he’s trying to do and it feels like a spit in the face to every community he’s trying to exploit

#muse talk #anon #discourse #spit in the face? is that a thing? #idk. it’s just. gross. and stupid and the most white man thing i’ve ever heard #there’s no love here. he’s just doing what others have to get people caring about him again #even if it crashes and burns he can just deflect like he always has

[aparticularbandit]

....

YUI ARE YOU GONNA BE A CRIMINAL IN THE BLACK CHALLENGE

IS THAT WHAT THE LAST BOOK IS GONNA BE

IS THAT WHY KYOKO SAYS SHE CAN'T TRUST ANYONE ANYMORE

AND SHE DIDN'T CARE AND BURNED HER HANDS OFF TO TRY AND SAVE YOU

IS THAT WHAT THE LAST BOOK IS

#musings #bandit liveblogs #bandit liveblogs danganronpa #i'm almost done with dr: kirigiri 2 #and yui and kyoko are SO cute #but also these scenes of combing out hair and braiding them like #i feel weird because i've been having kyoko do that for junko in #dr1 end rewrite fic #and yui's just CONSTANTLY doing that for kyoko in dr: kirigiri 2 #and i'm just #kyoko i didn't mean to be paralleling this so hard but APPARENTLY #-gestures- #this is like when i made that backstory for bedelia before reading all of the hannibal books #and realized i'd accidentally paralleled hannibal's backstory with her more than a little bit #like #-blinks- #ANYWAY IF THAT'S THE LAST BOOK I MIGHT GET SUPER MAD #i know that's how kirigiri burns her hands so bad #but like #they're setting yui up as a black challenge criminal even though that would completely #decimate her honor as a detective #while also setting up that detectives can SUPER be scum #and also that the person who started the black challenge stuff was probably one of the top ranked detectives #i SEE it and i DON'T LIKE IT

[hellheld]

i may have realized that harlot is actually going to be very difficult to ship with IUHRGUIEGTKJR

#they're so painfully slow burn...................................i'm so sorry #me learning the nuances of how harlot interacts w/ ppl outside of my head: oh. oh you're not like you were supposed to be #harlot: i don't wanna fuck i want to sing and fight and maybe be crushed by a hydraulic press #LIKE THAT STILL FITS THEIR ORIGINAL DESIGN BUT??????? I THOUGHT THEY'D BE MORE DTF #even if /i/ don't wanna fuck my muses usually do UIGRHETIURYJ #shakes harlot. did i break you by giving you your specific brand of trauma and half-divine blood that can kill demons #in hindsight yeah that was fucked up of me im sorry i ruined your potential sex life buddy #i need to sleep #i didn't become aware of how much i was fighting my sleep meds until i started talking to someone and i went oh. oh no #and now this post is also a good reflection of why i should be in bed rn instead iuwghretjk #FUCK TUMBLR STILL DOESNT REMEMBER MY OOC TAG #* ooc: let's go lesbians! #TRYING AGAIN

[masquenoire]

Roman's last memory of his parents back when they were still alive were ones of fear, the difference being that this time it was they who were the ones that were afraid and not him. Furious at having caught him sleeping with the company's top model, Mrs. Sionis went to strike Roman, only for him to snap her wrist and send her flying into a nearby bookcase where her head was cut open by a sharp wooden corner. Roman was no longer a small child they could push around without consequences; at 17, he was already far too big for even Mr. Sionis to handle and the fear they showed that night was the push their son needed to know he was ready to kill them. He still remembers the sight of fear in their eyes, how powerful it made him feel. In his opinion, it was the first time they'd ever shown him the slightest damn bit of respect and even today, in his eyes, fear is respect.

#💀 || musings #💀 || headcanons #child abuse tw #child abuse cw #Mr. and Mrs. Sionis raised their hands to him one too many times oops #Except by that age Roman could demolish the pair of them without effort #The accident when he was born and the rabies bite turned Roman into a powerhouse without even needing to work out #Of course his parents were socialites and not exactly strong but Roman felt like the king of the world putting them in their place #Let himself get chucked out of the family home but he knew they'd never report him assaulting them to the police #If word got out that their child was a freak who'd slept with their top model they'd never hear the end of it #But to Roman their fear was a tool of manipulation #Came back two nights later and burned them and the family mansion down #Never felt happier in his life :') #But YEAH he likes it when people are afraid of him #To Roman fear equals respect #Another reason why he hates Batman the bastard doesn't show any respect #domestic violence tw #domestic violence cw #Just covering all my tags just in case

[a11sunday]

👫 carol + ace bc yeah

Send a 👫and I’ll write four headcanons I have about our muse’s relationship. --- @danversiism

i don't think we've been too specific in our threads about it-- so, i think there's room for me to sneak it in and say that ace and carol meet possibly before she meets luffy. but, it had been brief. carol saving, ace saving carol--- it would make for a good set up where they have this back and forth with saving each other (then carol isn't able to during marineford lmao im crying why did i say that). then they run into each other again while carol is with the straw hats on an adventure and they really get to know each other then.

ace and carol have definitely got into some sparring that was supposed to be more friendly than it turned out. of course, nothing crazy like they injured each other badly, but definitely got super competitive. it leads more into how ace feels such a sibling like bond w her as its how he and his brothers bonded as kids.

when ace thinks of the physically strongest people he knows, carol is up there. he boasts about her to other people on his travels, the same way he would whitebeard, luffy or his own crew.

ace gives carol a piece of his vivre card too when they part for what they didn't know would be the final time. he jokingly warns her not to use it to be an annoying, protective older sister.

#as per usual i came in w the hurting words :))) rip in pieces #danversiism #*✭˚･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ* ⸻ member of the sogeking fanclub ( ooc ). #‧͙⁺˚･༓☾ ⸻ i am fire itself. you can't even touch me ( portgas d. ace ). #muse. #☆ ⧽ a flame and a star shine burn brighter together ( ace and carol ̗ danversiism ).

[taintedhunts]

* RORY  OSBOURNE       ∶       temperamental yet  reliable  thirty  year  old  rank  a  assassin  for  the  knights  of  rose  guild  who  goes  by  she  +  her  pronouns  and  is  always  deftly  turning  a  small ,   three  pointed  shuriken  between  her  fingers .   born  and  awakened  in  san  francisco ,   california ,   often  can  be  seen  training  until  exhaustion ,   holding  a  cup  of  lemon  tea  between  her  hands  after  every  nightmare ,   or  nose  deep  in  a  worn - out  book ,   losing  herself  in  stories  far  away  from  the  reality  she’s  currently  living  in .   driven  as  a  racehorse  but  quick  to  snap  at  the  smallest  taunt ,   rory  greatly  enjoys  the  fatigue  soaking  her  body  after  every  killing ,   a  bowl  of  melting  ice  cream  on  rainy  days  &  the  faint  smell  of  the  dry  pressed  flowers  her  mom  used  to  put  within  the  pages  of  their  books .   lawful  neutral ,   aries  sun  &  solitude  enthusiast ,   she  identifies  herself  as  a  lesbian  cis  woman ,   has  the  terrible  habit  of  chewing  the  left  corner  of  her  bottom  lift  incessantly  when  she’s  lost  in  thought  or frustrated ,   and  awakened  on  her  fifteenth  birthday ,   losing  her  entire  family  in  the  process .

                 * QUICK  LINKS .

full  intro   (  gdocs  /  page  )   .   connections   (  soon !  )   .   aesthetic  .

#becameintro #rorysintro. #here she is my sad sad broken child #treat her kindly even if she won't she's a wounded babe ok #⠀ ⠀ ❛⠀ she burns like rum on a fire ⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀⠀ ⠀ RORY ‎ OSBOURNE . #⠀ ⠀ ˙ ⠀ ✽ ⠀ . ⠀⠀ ⠀ RORY ‎ OSBOURNE ⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀⠀ ⠀ interactions ‎ . #⠀ ⠀ ˙ ⠀ ✽ ⠀ . ⠀⠀ ⠀ RORY ‎ OSBOURNE ⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀⠀ ⠀ photo ‎ album . #⠀ ⠀ ˙ ⠀ ✽ ⠀ . ⠀⠀ ⠀ RORY ‎ OSBOURNE ⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀⠀ ⠀ musings . #⠀ ⠀ ˙ ⠀ ✽ ⠀ . ⠀⠀ ⠀ RORY ‎ OSBOURNE ⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀⠀ ⠀ aesthetic .

[quillheel]

I'll designate you __ to lovers ━ allies.

what starts off as a partnership by obligation turns into one by choice. maybe you don't think of them that way at first, but after you realize that you two work incredibly well together, the feelings just... fall into place. of course it's only natural that they should remain by your side. of course you would take risks to keep them safe, and they would do the same for you. you can't imagine facing something without them now. it's like they were always there. what's more, the bond you've forged over the years is doubly strong for having made the sharing of mental and emotional states necessary. you've stuck with each other through the stress, the breakdowns, but also the victories, the laughs, the brief moments of frivolity. now those things come naturally. you know nobody more intimately. you are able to take care of each other. you can probably make it through anything. you have so far, at least, even if there were some losses along the way.

#obsessed with how even I was expecting the quiz to give me enemies to lovers. but it didn't. #regardless of the hardships Jean faces with Harry; regardless of how much pain they bring eachother; Jean will always be there for him. #the pain of being burned makes him bitter; makes him venomous but he has never become his enemy. #something something the dog that expects to be kicked down will bite the hand that tries to feed it. #the man can change. the dog can learn. time a vital resource. but blood may always cling to the heel. the dog may always flinch. #Jean does not try to be cruel. the lopsided lens we see of him might portray him as such. the light; the circumstance making him #he does not try to be cruel. that does not mean he was kind. that does not mean he was good. #the dog is the survival; the anger; inside of him. never all of him. jean can learn & become & understand. he can improve. he can change. #it is jeans responsibility to be better than the cruelty he does not intend. it is not to forgive him. but he wants to. he wants to. #time a vital resource. blood may always cling. he may always flinch. #the part that wants to love him. the part that wants to live. taught by a past that is no longer remembered; but is never null. #the dog and the man sit with eachother. and when violence is replaced with love; the tail still wags. the man still smiles. #the part of the animal that loves you; the part of the animal that hates you #but he loves him. he loves him. he loves him. #lets give it another try. lets give it another day. chances that part of him begs not to give. chances because he wants to be proven wrong. #please. please. prove him wrong. #the dog who loves you. the man who loves you. both who want to be loved #god........................ #MUSING / Jean Vicquemare #STUDY / Jean Vicquemare #GAMES / Jean Vicquemare #━ ♔ the world grows green again when you smile : games. #toxic relationship // #ask to tag // #disco elysium //

[lovetheboysfic]

WIP Wednesday?

I guess this is a thing, right?

This is a bit from what I’m calling my Other Baby Diaz S2/S3 AU, playing fast and loose with the timeline and Eddie’s house. I’ve got about 15k done so far, which is more than I’ve written in a long, long time...

---------------------------------------------------------

Buck had been with Johnny for a few milestones: moving his head more, gaining control of his fingers. Buck felt absolutely no shame at letting the tears fall the first time John’s tiny fingers gripped one of his — it was like being touched by a feather and it was so damned cute.

He never told Eddie about those milestones; it felt like stealing to be there when Eddie couldn’t. Most of the time the nurses would tell him during the daily updates, and Eddie never seemed to resent Buck for being witness, would ask Buck what happened in his own words, would eagerly await his own first experience with his son’s development.

The dark circles under Eddie’s eyes from restless sleep and waking to nightmares — his, Chris’s, and occasionally Buck’s — and a serious caffeine dependency contributed to how fucking exhausted he looked all the time now. Buck didn’t think he had seen Eddie really smile (his genuine smile, not his serve-the-public polite smile) except a handful of times since the day Shannon died. It wasn’t unexpected during such a stressful time, but it did make the true smiles he bestowed on Chris and John all the more precious to witness. 

And the times when Buck was able to make Eddie smile with one of his stupid jokes or a weird fact, or even making Eddie laugh? That was like when the painkillers hit after a bad PT session: relief and hope swirled together.

Seeing Eddie lying back in a terrible hospital recliner with a not-as-tiny John on his bare chest, and a contented half-smile on his face, with Chris tucked in next to him and watching his brother with wide eyes, Buck knew he would do absolutely anything for the Diaz boys — all three of them.

#911 #wip wednesday #911 fanfiction #buddie slow burn s2/s3 au #weirdly enough this came out of my musing on how I feel so sorry for Shannon #and my brain decided to ask what would make that situation even worse than it already was? #and here we are: Shannon still dies and there's a new baby in the NICU

[chronal-anomaly]

The way that Lena accepts the mantle of Storyteller even if it's the opposite of everything she ever wanted. In a way, you could see it was the elephant, the black dog haunting her waking moments, the looming, lurking knowledge that there will be a day where her friends and family are dead and gone and she's there, telling their stories to people who have long forgotten their names. If only to remind herself. If only to remind the world...

#( headcanon. ) #lexi and i had this whole plot where Lena was the only one to remember olivia colomar #even tried ( and mostly succeeded ) at making her a dia de los muertos ofrenda every year #( The food was always a Little Too British but she tried ) #she was destined to burn up like a supernova and here she is #decades later #still looking 25 ( but maybe a little slower ) #murmering stories about her friends who have moved on #they say you die twice - once when your body dies #and then again when someone says your name for the last time. #lena won't let them die again #cowboy beepbop is once again flooding me with muse right when im trying to sleep