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beatcroc · 2 months

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turns out i have to make an unnecessarily wordy thoughtspost about doombox too bc there is nothing about this character that isn't fucking ridiculous and also really funny and i'm kind of really obsessed with all of it. ordinarily i would just start firing but in this case I need to just. paste his bio and then go through it step by step because every phrase here is absurd when looking at how he's handled along with the other characters and the world as a whole. here we go

first sidenote: i should also add 'nonsensical' to the list of descriptors up there, because this is a fighting game and no doubt has the typical Bad Fighting Game Writing at play that doesn't really hold up when put under scrutiny as i'm about to, but understand that this is something i've come to love about the genre and its typically batshit lore, and it further enhances the experience for me. it's all utter nonsense and its my favorite shit ever.

the biggest thing to me that makes his entire shtick ridiculous is that he was explicitly made to be a weapon. like his express purpose is destruction and/or killing people, and he certainly has the disposition to be doing that. except that he is not doing that. he's out there playing Ball Game, evidently of his own volition.

i feel it is also important to highlight that he was not originally or intentionally a boombox; he just kinda lives in there. his own bio frames it as happenstance, but sonata's dlc skin lore** implies he isn't permanently stuck in there and can kinda just hop out and take control of whatever he wants whenever he wants. there is an entire goddamn tank just sitting there in the background of one of these stages. he is a weapon. there is heavy artillery readily available to him that he could be commanding if he wanted to, but he's not doing that either. he is still a boombox. i think he likes it in there. *there's an argument to be made that maybe he's not powerful enough to control something that large, or maybe just that switching hosts is really tiring or risky. im just saying though there's like a bajillion host devices better suited for A Fucking Weapon than a boombox, but he seems really committed to this for some reason. while im here btw it's fucking terrifying that he apparently can possess thing that are Not tech as well **as a side note from that the specific mention of her boomhammer is interesting. i don't think it's an intentional implication but i enjoy the idea he has an affinity for sound-based devices; i like to think the boombox left an impression on him with its being the initial thing he possessed and got used to

and then there is the berserking. the 'rampaging', as it is otherwise called. not exactly strange on its own given his temperament and designation, but strange for the way it's characterized as only a tendency. it's only that he's prone to rampaging. he rampages often, but not all the time. just often! what is he doing he is not rampaging? getting a custom trimmed jacket with his own logo emblazoned on it? like a nerd? and on the flipside, what exactly do these rampages even entail? because it's apparently not anything destructive or disruptive enough for anyone to care about stopping him under normal circumstances.

like how are you a giant angry "not exactly stable" weapon of a guy and everyone's like 'yeah that's fine. that's our doombox!' toxic's specific wording regarding his getting unfucked postgame is "back to his old raging self", which implies to me there's almost a certain fondness, or at least amusement, at his being like this. i know one of the core themes of lethal league is letting these oddball misfit dudes do their thing and freely be who they are, but like. is doombox sincerely just not a threat for that? like really? dice's interactions also sort of imply that his actually trying to kill someone is really out of the ordinary for him so truly like. db my man what ARE you doing out there. * re: toxic and dice's talking about him; i do also find it amusing that one of his defining traits is just being pissed off all the time. again, not surprising given his purpose/designation as a weapon, but funny in that it's like. how he's KNOWN; in the sense that it is immediately noticeable and a cause for concern for other characters to see he is Not angry. fuckin social barometer of a guy. local angry guy isn't angry, something's wrong.

the "reasons for playing in the league unknown" bit also strikes me as a little odd even though it REALLY shouldn't. i'm like 97% sure it's just written like that to make him seems mysterious and unpredictable and dangerous, but it's a weird thing to call attention to when you consider that...less than half of the other characters' reasons are known? raptor is there trying to get info on his dad, that one's well out there. dust & ashes i think have some kind of implied reason for being there as well but it of course isn't elaborated on, and grid is like trying to impress "the youth" and establish a profile or something. nitro seems like he might not actually be IN the league as an official competitor? it's just helpful for him to know how to ball for the situations he gets into with his investigations. everybody else's "reason" pretty much seems like they're just out there to have fun. and toxic says as much in the story mode intro! the game was developed for people to escape the monotonies of shine city! so to imply doombox has a separate, non-recreational reason for being here is weird. the easiest read on it for me is just that he was drawn to it cause it's intense and destructive but at the same time.... if all he wants is an excuse to wreck shit....why are you competing in a structured sports game with rules and shit my dude. you are a weapon. just go attack people. except that we've established that he doesnt really do that. so. once again. what IS he doing out here

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aside from the bio though, there's of course random little tidbits of characterization throughout the game itself and they are all also likewise ridiculous.

he refers to himself in third person, which is always an amusing choice for a character in general. it carries with it a certain sense of ego, an awareness of and and pride in one's presence and gravitas. this was mostly just surprising to me bc before i started looking at everything, i'd assumed he was more or less mindless and, yknow, robotic; without much personality/reason for being there beyond being the Biggest Baddest Best At Ball Game Guy doombox is already very imposing, so this is frankly a well-earned sense of pride for him to have.....but it still doubles back to being funny again because, as i've established above, he could stand to be a hell of a lot scarier! but he doesn't seem to notice or care that there are many readily-available options for becoming more powerful and/or establishing himself as unquestionable top dog. so instead he is a boombox. third-person is also often used for characters who are a little dumb, and i think this applies to doombox as well. he is a weapon, and clearly a brute-force-over-precision type of weapon at that, he doesnt need smarts. i think this is also sort of hinted at with his voice lines; where the other characters have some kind of snarky phrase or one-liner for their kill/score voice line, doombox just goes "bye-bye". Which is still appropriately Disrespectful, but it's also very, uh... simple. again i just think there are... more imposing things a guy like him could be saying there, but i guess he hasn't got anything more than fucking. bye-bye.

anyways the ego thing i think is well-echoed by his stupid fucking jacket. none of the other characters have their logo as part of their design and i'm pretty sure the rest of the symbols are just game abstractions and don't exist in-universe, but like. doombox is just going around wearing a jersey with his own damn face on it. ok. to be clear i love his jacket but it is literally so silly for him to have that. imagine being the guy having to custom-fit a fucking boombox. did db pay for it? how? we're getting into unproductive territory here but you could ask a million questions about that jacket and they all have hysterical implications. while im on the topic of designs i'd also like to say that while i don't count any of the other blaze redesigns as "canon" like actual events the characters went through between games [like raptor in particular would have already had to have the stitches since that's his backstory, it's just they weren't a design point before], doombox is in a weird spot since the first game's design for him was very specifically referencing its HUD in a meta way for his flavor and that was pretty much the entire extent of his flavor; while in blaze he and the HUD are very much separate distinct things with their own flavor. there's more to talk about here later but as it pertains to design what im saying is i think he just went out and found a better and cooler boombox to be in between games. and also got a funny jacket. *actually i have no idea if there's even a Timeline here. the gut vibe i had been running on was that blaze happens a couple years after the original, but looking at it now that doesn't seem right. does blaze Replace the timeline of the first game? are there even Events in the first game to count as a timeline? do they run concurrently?

alright anyway the last point here is the 3rd-person thing is even moreso interesting to me though bc i was under the assumption that 'doombox' was something akin to a codename he was given when other people saw this big fucking Thang rampaging through the streets. but seeing as 1. he's definitely aware of it, and 2. not even the damn scientists who made him knew he was in a boombox [as implied in his dlc skin lore], i'm led to believe he came up with the name himself. the fucking tape in his cassette player does just say 'doom' on it so i am choosing to believe that's either where he got the name, or that he put that on there himself.

MOVING on, another really good thing is that he does this

i just think it's funny he's continuing to use the thing as an actual boombox; i feel like that isn't something he necessarily Has to do. obviously he's susceptible to certain quirks and limitations of being a boombox re: mind control tape, but i don't think that means he has to play out its every function. i think he's doing that on purpose and i am filing it under "he likes it in there". hes listening to his jams.

also on a similar note,

this is also not important and i realize it's mostly just a quirky videogamey way to get around saying the robot kinda character is "asleep", but i do enjoy the implication that shine city's biggest terror is like out there running on 4 D-cells.

also i'm making this guy out to be a city street menace, and the vibe i had assumed for him before was like, a random encounter in the back alleys that you super do not want to run into; but his associated stage/hangout seems to be the desert/scrapyard? which i don't really have anything interesting to say to that, but it's definitely a different vibe for his character if he typically hangs out in more desolate areas.

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i think maybe the most baffling thing doombox has going on is the apparent "rivalry" with dice. this is also bizzare from dice's side of things. what the fuck does it even mean to be "rivals" with doombox? what are they competing for? what kind of things does dice get up to that doombox would even give a shit about in the first place, let alone to be considered a rival in? i mean, like, the league, probably, but why dice specifically, out of everyone? would doombox's league rival not just be whoever's the [second] strongest there? i believe dice when he says they're evenly-matched, but there isn't really anything that implies dice is of particularly high prestige within the league so it feels like he shouldn't hold much interest as a target. to be fair dice doesn't seem like the type that would care about prestige, but again, if he's not out there flaunting his shit or trying to claim he's the best or whatever, why does db care? this would be a lot easier to understand if it was a one-sided thing on doombox's part like okay maybe dice pissed him off one day and he's still mad about it. whatever. that's the vibe they go for in story mode, but then there's dice's dlc skin description, which seems to run entirely counter to that and has dice as the aggressor:

when deprived of his usual sense and restraint, dice's first thought is I Gotta Go Fuckin Kill Doombox? even if he's over it under normal circumstances, it's clear both of them have some deeper-rooted beef in this exchange. there is yet another layer to this in that doombox is, weirdly enough, not really shown to be the kind of guy that's interested in revenge. again, going back to his own dlc description, he- and i quote- "couldn't care less" about the guys who made him capturing him and chaining him up. his only interest there is breaking out and getting back to doing his thing. if you want to be really generous, you could also read this vibe from the story mode epilogue: doombox was not the one hunting down the safety league, that was nitro. doombox was simply, as stated before "back to his old raging self". both of these to say, he simply does not seem to give a shit about people who have directly wronged him and only wants to Do His Thing. so. once again. what the fuck is going on with dice that they both have lasting beef here. i truly cannot fathom what either of them did to be so mad specifically at eachother. this rivalry is something they reference a LOT too like it's a big deal in-universe, or something otherwise really important to portray. like

lore so strong you gotta put it on an achievement!!!!! really!!!!! and there are no details whatsoever about this????? * while i'm here i'd just like to say have more questions about dice than fucking anything else in this game. sadly there's practically nothing to intuit from the game about any of his situations so i don't have much for coherent thoughts to post on him, but my god. what the fuck, dice. this rivalry is arguably the single strangest thing doombox has going on but it doesn't even break top 5 weird things about dice.

anyways, the final section and MOST interesting thing to me in all this is that, coming out of the first game, i was really under the impression that doombox is just the arbitrary final boss monster you gotta kill; no real purpose or personality his own to speak of, and most importantly just synonymous with the game itself and its aesthetics re: mirroring the HUD design. he certainly still holds the role of big scary final boss monster in blaze too, but blaze 1. has him much more fleshed-out as his own Guy, and more importantly, 2. doesn't really consider him a Problem like your typical big angry final boss monster. or at least not moreso than anything else going on in the game. he's not a threat to be eliminated, he's respected as a character and as a competitor in the league; and more than that he just seems to be... liked? as in, liked by other people in-universe? and he's liked enough that they'll readily help him out so he can keep doing his thing? i do think latch fixed him up postgame mostly bc he felt bad about being the one responsible for getting db brainwashed in the first place but like. the game could have just as easily gone "and then doombox was defeated yay" and left it at that. instead, they seem to have a vested interest in keeping him around. most transparently this is likely just a "we can't get rid of any of the playable characters or else story mode would be noncanon", BUT the point of this post is trying to read cohesive narrative sense into places there probably isn't any, and my read here is that doombox is a sort of inadvertent guardian of the league. for 1, he does still very much embody a lot of what the game [both The Videogame and the league itself] is about, but more importantly i think his presence is just really good at keeping a lot of the more minor threats at bay. if you try to fuck with the league, you will eventually be squaring off with doombox, most likely having freshly pissed him off in the process, and i can't imagine that goes well for who or whatever is in that situation. there's probably not much that wants to stand up to him by himself, and there's even less that can challenge the league as a whole unit; he's really just a good guy to have on your side like in general when you are running an illegal sports operation. i think at Worst toxic might see him as the league's funny little mascot but realistically i think she has more respect for him than that. either way i don't think he's going to care and it doesn't affect him much regardless. for this, doombox simply gets to keep doing his thing, whatever the fuck that may be. there are certainly still forces beyond his control at play here [as demonstrated in story mode by the safety league], and when these come into play, the league in turn looks out for him and keeps him on top of his game. i'm not sure if he has the, uh.... kind of cognitive ability that he could be grateful for this, but if nothing else, we know he seems to enjoy playing in the league, so he probably at least recognizes that he's not going to meet a lot of resistance in it and/or that it's a good environment to keep doing as he pleases. i don't mean for this all to sound so transactional, but it's hard to say whether he has much charisma in-universe for people to want him around for more "legitimate" reasons. likewise, there's also still a lot up in the air on how like... sapient doombox actually is. whether he can have complex motivations about anything or if he has some concept of "having friends" or if he can experience emotions besides rage; i tend to lean to "no" on those because i am really trying my damndest not to woobify this guy, but ultimately i don't think it matters much; in the end, he and the league are still mutually beneficial for eachother, and they still enjoy having the other around. and i think that's pretty cool :)

#lethal league blaze #lethal league #doombox #babygirl i can write misplaced analysis about anythinggggg #also ik im making this post in 2024 but to be clear i've been playing this series since 2016 #i never talk about it much but it has always held a special place 4 me.#i come back to it briefly like semi-anually. it just happened to REALLY grab me this time around for whatever reason #and i got really obsessed w doombox. as it goes i suppose #speaking of which the final word count for this one is.... apparently a little over 3k this time. oh my god.#usually these character/game writeup things are like half that length. look i just think hes neat #as my friend said: ''He seems like he should be so self-explanatory but he just isn't''#and ''We learn just enough about Doombox to know we don't know fucking anything about Doombox''#boy id like to know. the things id do for literally any kind of external loredump for this game. auuggghhh

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kooruphobic · 1 year

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IN BED — ragnvindr brothers (seperate, not a pairing)

𓆩♡𓆪 notes : i've been so fucking busy w/ wips lately. i literally have like a bajillion wips im so sorry... dropping an eren fic soon 4 the anon that asked but here's this for now to keep my blog active

𓆩♡𓆪 tags : smut, mentions of praise, teasing, overstimulation, rough sex, temperature play (if you squint)

𓆩♡𓆪 word count : 1.2k

𓆩♡𓆪 summary : how the ragnvindr brothers are in bed/during sex. separate, not a ship or pairing.

𝐊𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐀

we all know kaeya’s a slut like look at him lol

jokes aside, kaeya is so freaky it’s insane. like as soon as you get with this dude, the first time you fuck, you have the time of your life.

kaeya definitely loves praising you. i’ve seen so many people say he’d degrade you. i can kinda imagine it but i think he’s the typa guy to tell you how pretty you are. would one hundred percent call you “pretty girl,” and “mine.”

he loves kissing you. like, you’ll literally make out for hours before you actually fuck. this man is in love with your lips (both of them, yes) and either kisses you really passionately or like there’s no tomorrow and he’ll die if he doesn't kiss you hard enough.

not only that, he loves teasing you too. doesn’t even matter if you’re in public or not. he’ll purposely say suggestive things and ghost his fingers over your skin. some people will give you extreme side glances, but he knows they’re watching.

“let’s give them a little show, huh?”

when you guys are alone he’ll keep teasing you, but when your clothes are finally off his touch becomes more urgent and needy. why? because the sight of you naked makes him lose his mind. he’ll kiss down your body telling you how pretty you are for him.

let’s just say kaeya loves eating you out. the taste of you on his tongue is intoxicating and he’s obsessed with it.

and if we’re taking elements into consideration here, then think about it. i feel like he could probably make his tongue cold, and he’d replicate the feeling of eating you out with an ice cube in his mouth except there’s no ice cube, just his tongue.

he’ll literally just eat you out for hours and holds your hand while he does it. sometimes he’ll make you sit on his face. at first, you're fine, but fast forward, and you’re shaking, crying, begging for this man to let you go. kaeya could probably suffocate and die between your legs and he’d die a happy man.

your pleads aren’t really convincing. you sound so pretty and kaeya wants to hear more so he keeps going. when he’s finally done you’re overwhelmed.

or, at least, you think he’s done. but then suddenly you’re on your back and he’s thrusting into you. he’s hitting it from the back and your cries are like music to his ears. this man definitely loves doing it doggy style.

that’s not all though. he’ll lean forward, lips next to your ear, and start moaning from pleasure. kaeya has the sluttiest and loudest moans known to man. he whimpers too. and he knows you love it.

“you like it when i moan into your ear like this?”

and when he cums he’s extra fucking loud. no matter where you’re doing it, even if other people are around to hear kaeya will always be loud when he cums. he sounds so pathetic and whiny when he does and you would make fun of him for it, but by the end you’re so fucked out.

he loves how you look when he’s done with you. (both) your lips are puffy, your eyes are glossy from crying, and you’re twitching and shaking beneath him. kaeya will never ever get tired of it.

if he cums inside he’ll go the extra mile and lick the cum dripping from your pussy. you try to protest, still feeling sensitive, but your pleads are replaced with whines of pleasure.

when he is truly done, he’ll tell you how good you did for him. if we’re thinking modern au, he’d one hundred percent ask if he can take a picture of your pretty, fucked out face. and then you two will just lay next to each other, breath heavy. and the cycle repeats.

𝐃𝐈𝐋𝐔𝐂

tbh i think there are two sides to diluc.

he’s either very rough or normal, and on rare occasions, he’ll be soft.

i think the reason for that is that he acts tough on the outside but is pretty sweet on the inside. so when he meets you he doesn’t know how to act at first, especially during sex. he’d be thinking about whether he should keep up his tough-guy act or not.

i feel like the first time he’s like…average. average in everything. cause he’s scared of intimacy so he just makes sure he’s doing what needs to be done and gets it over with. but then as your relationship progresses, the next time you do it he decides to put his act down and he’s super soft and vulnerable with you.

when he’s soft he’s mainly focusing on your pleasure rather than his. diluc likes fingering you rather than eating you out, but it’s okay because this guy is crazily good with his fingers. he’ll curl his fingers inside of you in a way that makes you go dizzy, and he’ll make you cum multiple times on his fingers before actually fucking you.

one hundred percent talks you through it. he’ll be pushing inside of you, telling you to breathe and relax, to let him take care of you. his thrusts are deep, long, and slow. he’ll do that thing where he slides a hand under your waist and pulls you close to him. and then he whispers how much he loves you.

definitely kisses your neck. he loves kissing your neck so much. he’ll do it before, during, and after. like it’s actually insane he’s obsessed.

when he’s rough though … you’re really in for it lol

he gets really rough when he’s stressed. doesn’t even bother with foreplay or anything, he just drags you into a room and starts fucking you like there’s no tomorrow. he grabs you by your hips and slams into you without relenting. you try to protest but your pleas fall on deaf ears because he keeps on going.

he’ll grab you by your hair and pull your head up. or if you’re riding him, he’ll plant his hands firmly on your waist and hold you still for a second before slamming up into you.

i feel like, if he’s being rough with you, it’d mostly happen in his office. he’ll be stressed out of his mind and call you over. then he’ll bend you over his desk and fuck you until your legs aren’t functional.

“take it. fucking take it.”

he’ll kiss you while he does it, but his kisses are super aggressive and when he’s done your lips are bruised. and he’ll definitely bite and suck at your neck, leaving multiple hickeys and marks everywhere.

poor maids can hear your moans through the walls … when they actually see diluc get mad or stressed they mentally prepare or just leave the winery together.

diluc makes up for his aggressiveness with proper aftercare though. runs you a bath or something and apologizes profusely lol … then carries you to bed because you’re struggling to walk. this happens like twice a week. rest in peace to you.

𓆩♡𓆪 notes : can u tell which one is my fav lol ... its kaeya. i love kaeya sm. luv diluc 2 but kaeya just does it for me

hope you enjoyed!

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the-6th-harbringer · 4 months

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PLEASE READ

Hey. So. It's been a. while.

trigger warning: referenced suicide

So, if you haven't noticed, I literally evaporated for two weeks straight without any clarification on why or sign of actually being alive, unlike my last two week disappearance. Unfortunately, this unexpected evaporation does not come with a big "ooh more trauma more lore and angst for scara" thing.

This just happens to be my goodbye post.

I know, it's weird and kind of rude for me to dip for two weeks and then reappear like "hey fuckers im QUITTING hAHaA". Buuuut not only was my dad being annoying and hogging my laptop, I also barely have had time to myself for the past weeks. New family members have been introduced into my life, so now I have double the amount of little siblings to look after. (from 3 to 6. dont ask "how" thats a personal thing). juggling that with school, social stuff, fucking exams which are coming up in 3 months of my gOD, and other even more personal demons that I've been battling, its been. a lot.

SO, to make sure I do not pull the same move as Scaramouche did on the last day of his sakurarealm torture(iykyk), I'm taking a leave from tumblr. Don't know how long I'll be gone, don't know if I'll ever be back, but I didn't just wanna quit without at least telling you guys so you don't think I've been murdered or something.

On a more serious note, thank you all for all of the support and love you've given Scara and all my other blogs. While some of you are a handful, the majority of you are actually the sweetest and silliest community of people I've ever known. I hope you all have excellent lives.

Now, as for what happens to Scara, we're shoving him in another coma. which is entirely at the mercy of Wanderer's mod, because they're my friend outside of tumblr too and i trust that they'll use this as a major angst moment. Put an F for Cyrille and Scara guys

NOW: a few honorable mentions and thank yous:

@wandering-hat-guy : im not writing a goodbye type thing for you because i will literally talk to you tomorrow, but thank you for being an awesome brother-sibling figure. you are the wanderer to my scara :]

@an-active-rabbit : Thank you for being an extremely fun person to rp with. The puppets and the heart is a rp that wont leave my mind for a while yet. Many hugs for you! And I wont be forgetting Mikaven anytime soon >:3

@cyrille-leclair-de-fontaine : AUGH budddyyy im sorry to do this to you. But thank you for creating Cyrille in the first place. Cyscara my beloveds, they will always hold a place in my heart. Maybe one day they'll actually get somewhere. Im also willing to be your friend outside of tumblr if you wish because you're cool >:D

@dishonxsty : For also being a goofy little goober. My favorite rp with you was definitely the ouppy's and scara, and also kudos to you for making like 17 bajillion blogs and being able to manage them all at once somehow like???? go king go

Annnd @monsieur-neuvillette , who seems random because I havent rped with them in literally a century, but thank you for being the one to indirectly help me get over my fears of starting a rp blog AND being the inspo for me to start rping on tumblr in the first place. hugs for you too

Well, alls said that's been said, so I think I'll just end it off here, because it's been like 10 minutes since I started typing this and I am eepy.

Goodbye everyone except wandermod, and thank you for sticking with me through Scara's really out of pocket journey.

(PS: Rest in peace @the-tainted-blossom . I miss you everyday.)

#scara kinnie moment #i should probs reblog this to my other blogs acctually #yeah lemme do that

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wrathful-reptile · 16 days

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Beamstalker re-emergence lore story under the cut

Long forgotten, Beamstalkers paced through the darkened city, no longer knowing why they were locked away, as their ancestors had long been too ashamed of their actions to pass down the tales.

"Now, now, Emblem. Don't get too close to the city or the big bad Beamstalkers will get you!"A male imperial chuckled to an energetic hatchling, looking over some research notes while trying to keep an eye on his younger sister.

"That's just a tale! You know they're not real, right? Gamgam's like a bajillion years old! Literally! Like she's got tales of Nocturnes being discovered! I think she made it up! No one else even's heard of a beamstalker!"

"I know, I know but Gamgam's parents passed down the tales to her, and their parents passed it to them. And she passed it to Grandma, and she passed it to Mom, and now we know it,"he chuckled, his tail swishing past the smaller imperial before using it to hold them in place as they went to run off."But seriously, don't get too close. I'm supposed to be watching you, and if you wreck anything, my work'll have my tail for bringing you with me and messing up research."

"Uhgggg fine! I won't break anything. But I am going to go explore. Not in the city, but you know…. just around it!"

"Be careful with that too. We're not too far off from Luminax territory. All that thing has to do is fall down the cliff and we'd be in its teeth!"

"I could take 'im!"

"Emblem, I'm serious. Emperors are dangerous."

"Psshhh, it's not gonna fall down here anyway. Gilden why are you so worried about everything?"Emblem gave a huff, scrambling free of the weight holding her in place and scurrying off.

Gilden shook his head with a laugh sigh, going back to the research papers, many being written copies of ancient documents.

Ancient… Ancients. The whole reason he was sent on this research job. With so many ancients re-emerging due to the change in energies, they wanted him to see if there'd be a possibility of discovering if there are any ancients in Light. After all, he seemed very interested in the tales told around the office of the new ones. He'd even chimed in with his great-grandmother's tales, gaining the interest. Though most had brushed it off as silly stories made to scare hatchlings, his boss's interest in the Hewn city had increased drastically. It was, after all, one of the only locations that a whole species could be hidden in for so many years.

Emblem was quickly bored, having escaped her older brother's line of sight. One solution? Well, the only reasonable choice, really, was to explore the one place everyone was so scared of. She stood a little taller, trotting into the darkened city, watching as the light that had been so bright became almost as if the area was under a permanent eclipse. The air was still and silent, and despite becoming unnerved, she walked onwards, her eyes always on the tops of the ruins and the sky, never on what was around her until she tripped.

"Ow!"She hissed, her ankle now scratched from… She stared at what looked to be a wildclaw for a moment. Or… a skydancer? It was Skydancer sized. At least adult skydancer sized.

"Pardon."It said."Are you alright? Tried to catch ya but it's a bit hard with hands like these. My ma's told me I need to dull 'em for now cause I keep scratching her and Da."

"You're not a skydancer or a wildclaw?"

"A whoosit-what-now?"The hatchling asked."Actually. What are ya?"

"I'm an imperial."She was trying to make sense of the dragon in front of her. He was such an odd hatchling, but he seemed nice.

"Eh? Never heard of it! My name's Rug."

"Rug?"

"Yep! Like Ruggy, rough, rugged!"

"Oh, I'm Emblem!"

"Nice to meet ya Emblem! Sorry I scratched ya up. C'mon, can you follow me? My ma can patch ya up!"

"Yeah! Okay! What sort of dragon are you anyway?"Emblem asked, following Rug with curiosity.

"I'm a Beamstalker! Least that's what we all say, so I suppose it's true, wouldn't ya reckon?"

"A beamstalker? My Gamgam, or great grandma tells tales of Beamstalkers. Everyone says you're not real. But you're a lot smaller than I thought. AND, and? You're not as scary at all!"Emblem held her head high. She'd found the secret! The terrible monsters her family was sooooo scared of! And they weren't scary at all! Her grin was only growing at the thoughts of showing everyone back home her new friend.

"Scary? I can be scary!"Rug said, fluffing out his back feathers to make himself look larger, only causing Emblem to laugh because he really looked like a baby bird.

"I don't think so! But it's not a bad thing!"She said. Rug gave a laugh and smoothed his feathers down, leading her into a den. The entry seemed only a bit larger than she was and the dragon inside stared at her in silence.

"Rug? Who's your friend here?"The grown beamstalker asked in shock.

"Ma, this is Emblem! I accidentally scratched her up. D'ya think you could patch her up?"Rug asked, a wide smile on his face.

"Oh, of course! She's as tall as me, though. What sort of dragon is she?"

"An imperial she says!"He seemed thrilled. Rug's mother nodded, heading out of the den and coming back with some odd plants and fabric scraps, wrapping Emblem's leg.

"Well, we'll have to see her to the edge, hm? I'm sure her parents are looking for her."

"We get to go to the edge?"Rug asked with excitement."Does that mean I get to see the sun? My friends'll be jealous!"

"Afraid not. The edge stops before the light starts."Rug's mother sighed."No one's seen the sun in millennia.

"Aww shucks. I was hopin I'd get to be the first."

"But hey! Maybe you all will meet my brother! His name's Gilden!"She said, her tail thudding the ground."He'll be so confused! Or maybe even scared? OR! OR! He'll be super duper excited and proud of me cause I did something super cool!"

"Oh, maybe. Maybe."Rug's mother hummed thoughtfully."Come on now, you're all patched up. Time to get you out, alright?"

"When Emblem leaves, she can come back and play, right? And next time we'll have dinner?"

"Of course, Rug."His mother hummed, now leading the two children along."If I wasn't worried about her getting home, she could have stayed for dinner tonight. Your father is out catching it."She looked over at Emblem."Now, dear, what was your brother's name again?"

"Gilden."

"Ah. My name is Vel. Such as the Velvet on antlers."

"Oh! So there's Rug, and Miss Vel…

"Yes. Your name is interesting, though. It is Emblem? Not Emb? And Gilden. Not Gil?"She hummed.

"No?"Emblem seemed confused."Is that bad?"

"Oh! Not at all, dear, just a curiosity. You imperials seem to have such silly names."

"Yeah. My friends think so too. James thinks it's silly that my parents named us after light things."

"No, no, being named for nature is fine. James?"Vel tilted her head with a bit of concern before shaking it."It is just unusual for such long names within the squadron."

"What's a squadron?"Emblem asked.

"Ah, it's what we call our grouping."

"Oh! Like a pack of wildclaws or mirrors, or a flock of skydancers. Okay!"Emblem seemed happy with that explanation.

The beamstalkers had been so distracted by Emblem that they hadn't noticed their scenery, though still darkened, was a different sort of dark.

"Oh, it's cloudy! Looks like it'll storm soon."Emblem chirped out.

"Emblem?!"A voice called. Booming footsteps. Gilden soon came into view. "I've been looking for you! Mom would have killed me if I told her I lost you in… the…"Gilden's words slowed to a stop, staring at the Beamstalkers.

"Woah… You're so tall!"Rug was staring up at Gilden in awe, eyes wide.

"Excuse me for asking, but what sort of dragons are you?"Gilden asked, looking at the two. He got no response from the two as Vel was looking at the open scenery before them and Rug was still in awe of how tall imperials were.

"They're Beamstalkers!"Emblem chirped, realizing the two weren't answering.

"I've got to report this to my job."

6 notes · View notes

favcharacterpoll · 11 months

Text

ROUND ONE, MATCH NINETY-TWO: LOADING SCREEN GUY VS. SANS

The loading screen guy from Rimworld Biotech DLC goes up against Sans Undertale from Undertale. o7s in the notes for loading screen guy

Loading Screen Guy Propaganda:

“he hot dad that probably spits fire”

Sans Opponent Propaganda:

“that guy is all over this website, consider this an anti submission. he can be the mascot but i will die if he wins”

Sans Propaganda:

“Fucking skelektion (i have the flu”

“funny skeleton :))”

“C’mon look at him just look c’mon look look at him and his genocide-related-depression c’mon he’s so sexy and”

“"Gosh dont even get me started, first of he's my husband my beloved my one and only my bonefriend my soulmate the love of my life the absolute perfect man to exist he's someone every guy strives to be he's just that perfect oh my gosh also did i mention he's my husband? Exactly, see my point? Secondly like how can you not like him! He's funny he's a nerd and is depressed! Just like tumblr userbase! Everyone can relate to him! And yk if you dont like him there's like bajillion alternative versions of him so go ahead pick and choose your favs there's surely at least one you'd like! (Which one i like best? HA! THATS CLASSIFIED (.... it's edgy version of him, of course it's the edgy version))Thirdly! He's so stylish like have you seen taht hoodie? Have you seen those gym shorts? The pink slippers? What a timeless look srsly! And one that everyone can recreate! Everyone can be as stylish as Sans! What an icon!Fourth-ly(?)! What a great brother he is! Supporting his brother jn everything whilst still annoying the shit out of him! Thats a true love for your sibling if i ever saw one! (That sentence doesnt make sense im sorry im tired) Fifth! He's hot. Okay thats it thanksies for your time <3<3<3"”

#sans undertale #undertale #rimworld #polls

13 notes · View notes

me-uglypretty · 2 years

Note

HI I HOPE YOU’VE BEEN WELL AND ARE TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF!!! <3<3<3 i’m a tad bit better and i am taking care of myself as much as i can :) oh and thank you for your notes app tip, it’s definitely helped me a lot!

ugh the writers of shows really need to get their acts together and give us what we want cause the ride of misery is never ending. (we do get a korrasami kiss in the comics, and i understand why we didn’t get one in the show, but still- they should definitely make an official animated version, it’s the least they can do for the gays am i right?)((yeah! the avatar comics are the only comics i’ve gotten into so far, so i’m super excited for more to come))(((AND WE ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE JURASSIC PARK DINOSAURS SO DANG MUCH! ! ! THEY ARE SO STINKING PRECIOUS)))

((((ngl it took me a couple seconds for it to click when you abbreviated MFS but i get it now lol and thanks for the warning)))

(((((IT MAY BE EVIL BUT MY ATTENTION SPAN DOESN’T LAST VERY LONG SO IF IK HOW SOMETHING ENDS, AND IT TRULY INTRIGUES ME, I’LL WANT TO KNOW HOW THEY GOT THERE AND WHAT THEY WENT THROUGH TO DO SO i mainly do this while reading, while with shows i merely put them off until someone forces me to watch it)))))

OHOHOH I ALSO SEE THAT YOU POSTED THE FIRST PART OF YOUR PEGGY FIC AND IM SO EXCITED TO READ IT!!! I WILL BE DOING SO SOON

[major side note: i’ve kind of been thinking of starting a sideblog ((((((where i’ll still be anonymous)))))) where i will mainly reblog fics and leave commentary like how i do with my inputs for runaways, so maybe i will go through with it and your peggy fic will be the first one i reblog! : D]

honestly bestie, same here. all my stories are incomplete while i start a bajillion more. but i also get so attached to one shots that i end turning those into stories tooooo ugh smh

oh and captain carter can totally 100% fight me to

THANK YOU FOR MATCHING MY ENERGY TOO AND MAKING IT EVEN GREATER

~ input runaway anon

HELLO INPUT RUNAWAY ANON, I AM GOOD! AND I HOPE YOU CONTINUE TO FEEL BETTER!!!

Writers of shows and movies sometimes make the thing about shock value or the production just doesn’t care ((BUT THE WAY KORRA PEOPLE FAUGHT FOR THE FEW SECONDS OF THEM TOGETHER IN THE FINAL EPISODE??? I WANT FIGHT)) (((gonna have to read the comic but I’m also on the gonna have to finish black widow comics and start on scarlet witch and all the other comics that’s on hold cause I am messy)))

((((Speaking of attention span, mine rages from seeing every episode at one go or being distracted by something so the show/movie ends up being paused for several hours.))))

The Peggy fic is actually a one shot. The series is currently on 1 and a half chapter till further notice (((((my brain says let write something else we left behind instead ahaha))))) AND TURNING ONE SHOT IN A WHOLE STORY WITH CHAPTERS ENERGY??? ME TOO.

You should create that blog if it makes you comfortable!!! It’ll give you the chance of sharing other authors work and commenting too while staying anonymous.

THANK YOU FOR CONSTANTLY SHARING WORDS WITH ME!!!

#me-uglypretty answers #input runaway anon

0 notes

phantomphangphucker · 3 years

Text

Wild Masters - Chap. 5: From Rags To Riches

Vlad shows his face, queue a lot of snark and an exasperated Flynn.

Danny turns to the lab stairway, “I’ll get it”, glancing at everyone as he starts heading up, “I’ll holler if it’s Vladdie!”. His dad gives an excited double thumbs up.

Sticking his head around the kitchen entryway into the living room confirms that it is indeed Vlad, in his pompous ass suit and now staring at him looking extremely supremely unimpressed. Danny snickers at him before walking into the living room proper, sticking his hands in his pockets, “sup, vampy. Come to see your brat? He’s twenty-four by the way so don’t bother trying to groom him into your prime villain protege or anything. Also-”, snicker, “-he doesn’t how to read, so there’s that”.

Vlad glares, “you must be joking”. Making Danny snort, “I fucking wish actually, he doesn’t know what a cellphone is. What twenty-something doesn’t know fucking cellphones? He’s probably never seen a meme before. The horror”. Vlad rolls his eyes as he steps in, “yes, that is certainly the biggest issue with that problem. I’m sure”.

Danny gives a very cheeky, “yup”, before turning his head to shout towards the lab door, “HEY YO FLYNN! IT’S VLADDIE! GET UP AND GREET YOUR POMPOUS-PAPPIE”. Turning to look back to Vlad, who has decided to grace him with a flash of his red ‘scary eyes’. Oh how rare and bless-ed he must be today to get a glimpse of those ruby reds. Note: he was being sarcastic as fuck there, green eyes are way better anyway. So there.

Flynn steps only halfway out from the doorway, leaving half of himself hidden but making his staff absolutely fully visible and just stares at Vlad. It’s actually vaguely creepy.

Vlad stares back.

And Danny just looks rapidly back and forth between them. “Whelp, this is just a touch awkward”.

Flynn huffs and continues staring.

Danny pulls out his phone and waves it around, “these things come with a timer, you know. So I can totally just start that up and you two can make this dick measuring contest genuine”, pointing at both of them, “or we can talk like good little adults”. Flynn glances at him, “shorty”; making Vlad smirk at Danny’s expense. Danny frowns in fake offence, “hey”. But at least that gets Vlad to tug on his suit jacket to straighten it and step forward to actually greet Flynn, so hey, it’s something.

Sure Vlad’s form of ‘greeting’ is looking the half of Flynn that he can actually see over and giving a snide, “well at least you’ve got some build on you”. Which Danny rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over, “wow, way to be a dick, frootloop”. Vlad side-eyes him, “I’m still debating your demise”. Danny throws back a very apathetic and unaffected, “mmm okay”. Resulting in him having to dodge a very half-hearted swipe from the man and bounce out of Vlad's easy arm reach, “gotta be quicker on your toes, old man”, smirking, “what? that old age catchin’ up to ya?”, vaguely dancing over to Flynn and grabbing his Minotaur shawl thing, yanking him fully into the kitchen, “and get fully in here you, and face your maker”.

Flynn glares and huffs at him. Expected. Half the sounds the guy makes seem to involve either huffing or grunting. Wonderful sign of some serious lack of socialisation right there. Vlad’s rich asshole circles are going to love him so fucking much. Just like how they love Danny. Once again, note the generous helping of sarcasm he is mentally pilling on there.

Turning to look at Vlad and holding out the photo of alternate Vlad with alternate Maddie, “anyway, proof ‘cause I know you just love that stick that you’ve shoved so far up your ass you might as well be a popsicle”. Vlad leans forward, inspecting, and blinks vaguely disbelievingly. Danny rolls his eyes at the man not touching the photo, “let me guess, this has been in my pocket and is thus too dirty for you to sully your hands with?”. Vlad nods at him quickly with a smug smirk before straightening back up, “though the atrocity that I’m wearing in that deserves to be surrounded by the filth that fills your pockets”.

Flynn blinks, “yah, yer rivals. Tho figured ya’d be evenly matched”, looking to Danny -though Danny’s pretty sure this guy is trying to just play off the whole ‘meeting my dad for the first time in fourteen years and instead of being a dad the guy shit talks my half-brother’- Flynn points at Vlad while speaking at Danny, “ya could end ‘im. Don’ end my pa tho”.

Danny sputters and bends over wheezing while Vlad looks offended, “hear that vampy?!? He’s saying you’re weak!”.

Flynn instantly jumps to his defence, “‘s not that he’s weak. Ya’re jus... excessive”. Making Danny snicker, “can’t argue that”, because yeah Danny knows he’s over-fucking-powered. That’s kinda what happens when you’re the literal King of the entire Realm of the dead and all the ghosts therein. Regardless Danny keeps laughing and slaps his knee repeatedly. Which Vlad scoffs at, “get ahold of yourself, my boy”.

Danny can hear the raised eyebrow in Flynn’s voice, “‘my boy’?”. Danny looks up as Vlad huffs at Flynn, “yes I guess it would be rather rude of me to be calling Daniel that with you here”. Danny snorts, “like you care about rude, Mr. Plots Others Demise Directly In Front Of Their Faces”. Vlad waves a dismissive hand at Danny, “their intellect and worth is beneath me to care. Family has at least earned some level of attention from me. You should know that by now”.

“Still not your son”.

Flynn grunts, “an I am. Ya might be ‘ore stuck up than my ya”, then Flynn smirks and Danny has a feeling the guy is gonna say something that’ll piss Vlad off, “makes sense wit name like Plasmius”. Oh yeah, Vlad’s gonna be mad.

Vlad snaps his angry red eyes on Danny, sounding more than just slightly violently angry, “you told him”. Danny just bends over further and wheezes. Flynn pokes Vlad’s chest aggressively with the tip of his staff, “back back, no fightin’ in food room place”. Danny just wheezes more at that, “Ancients, it’s called a kitchen, man. Oh Zone”. Flynn grunts, glares, and removes his staff from Vlad’s chest to smack Danny over the head with it. “Ow”. Sure that didn’t actually hurt but it’s the point of the matter.

He can hear Flynn’s scowl, while the guy looks back to Vlad, “an ‘sides, I’d know what ya are any way”, gesturing the staff tip around Vlad’s body while Vlad quirks an eyebrow at him, clearly more curious about Flynn than pissed at Danny. “Can sense it ‘round ya an smell it on ya’s clothes. Yain’t all human. ‘Ore human than tha red one wit her suit on tho”.

Danny straightens up and brushes off his pants, snickering, “yeah he knows about Valerie too, surprise knowledge. Did you not notice his glowing green ass eyes?”. Watching Vlad squint and hum at Flynn, who just sits and lets Vlad stare at and analyse his eyes, “hmmm so you can see my ecto-field then?”. Flynn shrugs, “‘ore er less”. Danny chuckles, “you could say that that ‘bout sums it up”. Flynn looks to him and squints, “not addin’ anythin’”. Making Danny facepalm, “it’s another saying, man”. And Vlad actually has to turn to the side and sigh into his hand, it looks like the man is having a very hard time not insulting Flynn repeatedly and in ever-increasingly deeming ways; huh, guess he was willing to actually try to not be a complete and utter dick to his own son. That earns him a few points in the ‘not the definition of evil’ category.

Vlad looks back after a steadying breath, “be that as it may, I’d rather you not divulge my ghostly status to anyone. Flynn was it?”. Flynn squints, “that’s my name, ya”, looking to the side and huffing, though not letting Vlad out of his sights, “an I won’”, looking fully back to Vlad and sighing before just slowly poking the man with a finger. Both Danny and Vlad elect to merely watch and see what this previously non-existent Zone nomad will do next; Danny’s just glad his folks stayed downstairs or this entire meeting would be a bajillion times awkwarder. Danny wouldn’t be able to make such blatant jabs at Vlad, Flynn wouldn’t be able to discuss anyone’s ghostliness, Vlad wouldn’t be able to even be in the ballpark of honest.

Flynn pokes Vlad again, muttering, “yer real”. Alright, okay, the whole ‘here’s your father’ thing might have just hit the guy properly now. Vlad tilts his head ever so slightly, “indeed”; and Danny suddenly feels like he’s intruding on a very personal and private moment or something.

This is too much for Danny. Danny shoots both his arms out to the side and smacks both of the men on the back to smush them together, “ugh! Just hug already goddamnit!”. Both Vlad and Flynn sputter and cough, screwing up their faces; but they immediately separate and effectively turn their backs on each other.

“Don’ do ‘hugs’”.

“Neither do I for that matter”.

Danny practically growls, “oh for fucks sake”, and just telekinetically maneuvers them into forcibly embracing each other: which predictably and obviously gets him a pink ecto-beam straight to the face hard enough to send him crashing out the kitchen window immediately after he cuts it out. Flynn also pelts him with a rock, but that’s not exactly something that would cause Danny any notable kind of damage; though he is kinda curious where the rock came from.

At least they fucking hugged. Mission accomplished.

He can hear Vlad huff, “anyway. Now that Daniel’s finished being his insufferable self, I imagine you rather need legal documents. Since I doubt you exist in the legal system”. Flynn just huffs so Vlad continues, “right then”. Danny can’t help snickering to himself as he lies in a pile of rubble and some bushes when Vlad speaks up again actually sounding ever so slightly befuddled, “it would seem you already do”.

Flynn sounds slightly more befuddled, “what”. So Danny takes that as his queue to crawl back in through the shattered window, “oh yeah, blame Tuck. Dude probably preempted what I would have eventually asked him to do and just did it before I asked him to”, grinning smugly at the two men, “yeah my friends are awesome like that”, looking to Vlad specifically, “sure is nice to have genuine friends, eh Vladdie?”; Vlad points at him with a scowl and shoots a small ecto-beam. Danny doesn’t bother blocking or even moving and just lets himself get knocked back into the rubble/bush.

Flynn blinks, “... Red girl was ‘ight, do ya know tha word ‘dodge’ at all, shorty”. Vlad makes a sound that is almost a laugh.

“Hey”. Flynn shakes his head and Vlad smirks as Danny scramble crawls back in through the window, “I will have you know-”, grunt, “-I took that hit for comical effect”, landing on the floor with a not so graceful ‘oof’ before righting himself to be cross-legged and looking up at the two men, “and if anything is gonna get me hurt then it better be my terrible sense of comedy”.

Vlad rolls his eyes, “at least you know it’s terrible and unpleasant”. Danny points at him, “my name’s a literal pun, of course it’s terrible. Not unpleasant though. Also-”, holding up a finger and grabbing out his phone to quickly scroll through it, “-and yup! Tuck hacked the gov! Man my main man really should scare the government more or at least enough for them to properly put him on a watch list or two, geez”.

Flynn blinks, “ya lost me”, while Danny pockets his phone. Vlad also blinks. Okay wow there are similarities here and it’s kinda freaking Danny just a tiny bit, it’s creepy alright. Vlad shakes his head at Danny, “you can let your tech boy know that for once he has impressed me”. Danny grins slightly manically, whips out his phone, goes to the voice memos app, and holds it up ready to record, “care to repeat that?”, grin never faltering. Vlad sighs into his hand, sounding truly and exaggeratedly pained, “Tucker, you have impressed me”. Danny cheers, “yes!”, quietly to himself while double fist-pumping.

Flynn shakes his head and mutters, “ghosts”. Probably deciding that this behaviour is very befitting of ghosts, which yeah is probably true. Least Flynn just seems amused by it rather than annoyed like Danny’s folks would be. Vlad seems to agree as he sighs and side-eyes Flynn, “at least you seem unbothered by our more... ghostly behaviours, most humans get put-off just enough to make them rather unsuitable for any kind of close relations”.

That gets Danny to inhumanly quickly jump to his feet, startling Flynn enough to get that staff pointed at him as he near shouts excitedly, “did you just admit you can’t make friends!”, pointing animatedly at Vlad, “I’ve spotted character development!”. Vlad just glares at him, which is fair, while Flynn relaxes his stance. Danny sticks his hands back in his pockets and relaxes against the countertop, “anyway, since you’ve apparently given Flynn here your fatherly approval -congrats on the kid by the way, what should I bring to the baby shower?- you gonna stick him as your heir instead me now. Pretty please?”, and gives an overly innocent smile.

Vlad sighs, “I’m going to murder you”, and shakes his head, “you’re the High King, of course not, I’ve certainly got to keep you in my relations somehow”, grinning smugly, “I can certainly have two heirs. I don’t see why not. Try as I might, you know how I am quite a greedy man”. Danny snorts because that’s bullshit, Vlad absolutely doesn’t try to not be greedy; but well... when possession is your Obsession... Danny chuckles, “and try as I might, I just can’t keep that hero complex down. Guess I’ve just gotta keep an eye on your dealings with Flynn here, huh old man?”. After all, when protection is your Obsession...

Flynn promptly smacks both of them with his staff, “Obsession posturin’”. Danny rubs his head and grumbles incoherently. Vlad acts like nothing happened, instead insulting Danny’s behaviour, “well don’t you sound kingly”. Danny flips him off. Vlad looks to Flynn, ignoring Danny entirely, “regardless, you’ll definitely be my heir too. Whether you want to be or not”.

Danny snorts, “I don’t think you need to threaten the guy to be your son, vampy, geez. Would it kill ya to be nice?”. Vlad grins, “yes”; which Danny rolls his eyes at. Flynn huffs and shakes his head, “heir’s some money thing, he’s my pa not money loan”. Danny blinks, surprised the guy knows what a money loan even is. Chuckling, “eh heir’s kinda the best you get from old Vladdie here”, and jabs a thumb at Vlad.

Vlad scowls, “that is because you keep snubbing me and refusing to renounce your fool of a father, Daniel”, side-eyeing Flynn, “Flynn doesn’t seem to have that particular issue”, and then gives Flynn a truly stiff and awkward head pat. Flynn looks like he’s judging him heavily for that, “I’m stayin’ ‘ere. I don’ trust ya”. Danny coughs and laughs while Vlad jerks and looks like he just got stabbed clear through the heart and Core. Ouch Vladdie, looks like someone got snubbed again. Tough luck, try not being evil next time. Or maybe it was the awkward head pat that did it?

All three flinch or jump at Jack’s sudden excited, “yes!”, while popping out from the lab doorway, practically shoving Vlad out of the kitchen, and very quickly side-hugging Flynn who very obviously stiffens and shrinks away from the contact. Oh shit, how long have his folks been there?!? Fuck. His mom also giggles from the doorway and walks in giving Flynn a sweet smile while pulling Jack off him, “as we said, there’s definitely room for you here”. Flynn just nods slightly while slowly relaxing as Maddie pushes Jack out of the room to go clean the spare room upstairs with her. Danny, meanwhile, is busy side-eyeing Vlad as the man borderline flat-out snarls at Jack’s receding form.

Flynn stares at Vlad himself, muttering lowly at Danny, “he hates ‘im. He really really hates ‘im”. Danny sighs and watches the deep violent hatred shining in Vlad’s eyes, “yeah, yeah he really does”, frowning and probably sounding sadder than he really means to, “I wish that wasn’t how things were. Everything would be a lot different”; because really? If Vlad didn’t despise his father, the two only natural halfas in existence would probably get along. Maybe be genuine family or healthy rivals even. Instead of the weird toxic degrading bantering archenemy thing they’ve got going on and have been actively -and mutually, if he’s being honest with himself- fuelling. Maybe, maybe, that mentor/apprentice situation, that Vlad dreamed of and Danny had needed, could have became reality; but that ship has long since past. In Danny’s more introspective and thoughtful moments, he mourned that fact. Part of him hoped Vlad acknowledged and mourned that fact too, instead of just feeling bitter and ripped off. Maybe. Hopefully.

Flynn frowns at him, “yer ghosts an yer humans. Act like it”. Danny blinks at him, “uh, I don’t think you exactly know how humans act. No offence”. Flynn huffs at him, “am one, know ‘nough”.

“Uh, I’m not gonna agree with you on that one”, glaring slightly and whispering, “also, sssshhhh about the ghost shit, man”. Flynn rolls his eyes and promptly catches Danny off-guard, “an I’m keepin’ tha Masters name”. Danny chokes slightly, well damn; Vlad’s gonna get an ego boost from that.

Vlad, having of course heard -damn you ghost ears- snaps his head around and grins triumphantly at Danny then approvingly at Flynn. “Flynn Masters”, grinning smugly at Danny again, “might just have a better ring than Daniel Masters”.

Danny snorts and rolls his eyes, “if you’re trying to make me jealous it ain’t gonna work”, snickering, “but FM, like FM radio”. Now Danny’s wearing the smug look while Vlad glares at him. Danny finger guns at Vlad as he starts walking towards the steps, “now how about I let the Masters caspers not have to be actors due to me being one of the present factors while y’all deal with your family matters”, saluting, “so seeya later gangsters”. Vlad’s left eye twitches, “I will murder you, boy”.

Flynn blinks and looks to Vlad, “he always like this?”. Vlad sighs and nods, “unfortunately”, shaking his head, “he certainly has a taste for puns and word games, I think it’s born from some form of a sadistic side”. Flynn huffs, “dramatic”, huffing again, “an I need a drink aftar all yer ghostin’, pa”, and uncaps his liquor bottle for a swig. Earning raised eyebrows from Vlad and the same lean over sniff that Danny did, “ahh, you’re a fan of alcohol”.

“Make mine own”.

Vlad nods approvingly, “I've dabbled in the art of wine making myself in my spare time”. Flynn offers his drink earning him a quirked eyebrow from Vlad, who of course tries some. Leaving him humming to himself and tapping his chin, “you’ve been at this for a while. You might be a son of mine yet”.

Flynn huffs, “‘ere I thought we ‘ready established that. Yer my pa. Pas that”. They were, in fact, already past that. Vlad just rolls his eyes but pulls a flask out of his pocket and offers it to the guy, “here. Since you’re a Masters, you drink whiskey like a Masters”. And Flynn talking a swig from that is what Danny walks back downstairs to, “so what y’all talking about?”.

Vlad turns to him, “just how you were going to apologise for your years of abuse to me all in the name of brotherly love”.

“That doesn’t sound like me at all”. Danny then blinks at them, with Flynn lowering the flask and shrugging at. Danny throws a slight glare at Vlad, “really? I leave for what? ten minutes? and you start boozing the guy up? Really?”, muttering more so to himself, “I mean sure, Flynn started drinking after ten minutes, or whatever, of meeting me. But still”. Vlad smirks some, “yes, being around you for any prolonged period of time could drive anyone to drink. Why, the first thing I did after meeting you was drink”.

“That’s because dad assaulted your prized football, you going senile on me?”.

Flynn glares at Danny and takes another swig of the whiskey flask, which Vlad looks oddly triumphant over; especially considering Danny just insulted him. Flynn shrugs again and side-eyes Vlad, “eh, mine’s bettar”. Vlad waves him off, “you just don’t have a taste for it yet”, tapping his chin, “though yes, yours is quite good”.

Danny blinks, “did the Vlad Masters just genuinely compliment someone without it being backhanded or a thinly veiled threat? Shocked! Betrayed! Dismayed! The horror!”, tilting his head, wait a fucking minute, “wait, did you drink Flynn’s stuff? You know that’s ectoplasm in there, right?”. Flynn grunts, “well he does now”. Vlad blinks and Danny is detecting just a hint of shock there; Vlad is also clearly eyeing Flynn’s liquor hip bottle with a fair bit more appreciation now. Flynn making a disgusted face kinda cuts off Vlad’s appreciation though and Danny feels like he’s getting a flashback to that time Tucker had to eat all those blood blossoms. “Are you gonna throw up?”.

Vlad scowls, crosses his arms, and sticks his nose up in the air, “of course not, a Masters can handle his liquor”. Danny rolls his eyes while telekinetically moving a trashcan over to Flynn, “I don’t think that’s the problem here”.

Both of them look down as Flynn just kinda sits on the floor, puts his staff to the side, and throws up; at least he aims into the bucket instead of onto the floor. “Congrats Vlad, I think you just poisoned him”. Danny furrows his eyebrows a bit though when Vlad actually holds his hands out, bends down, and pats the guy on the back. Okay... guess Vlad’s being decent... Danny doesn’t actually know what to do with that. Ah the fact that he doesn’t know what to do with Vlad acting like a decent human being is probably actually concerning, come to think of it. So Danny does the logical thing and slaps himself across the face.

Vlad gives Flynn a not awkward head pat this time, “there there, just get it out of your system”, he hums, “I am rather surprised though, two sips isn’t exactly much”.

Danny sighs and taps his chin, “well when you consider the fact that he’s lived off nothing but ectoplasmic fauna and flora, makes sense that his body would kinda have forgotten how to fucking digest human food you stupid nutcase. Geez, for a guy who plays chess you’re not very smart”. Vlad looks back to him and glares slightly, “I’m surprised you know that. Did you actually pay attention in health class for once?“. Danny rolls his eyes at that particular jab, “one of my friends only eats plants and one only eats meat, what do you think happens every time some bull crap happens where they have to break their diets?”.

Regardless Danny sighs some and bends down next to Vlad and Flynn, joining Vlad in the back-patting/rubbing. Snickering at the guy some though because people taking you too seriously or being all nice ‘n shit when you’re throwing your guts up was more embarrassing than helpful, “maybe don’t eat or drink shit without ecto in it, yeah?”.

Flynn grunts, expected, “ßhût üp, ßhørtŷ”. Making Danny and Vlad blink, Vlad grins like an idiot while Danny chuckles, “huh, guess you speak ghost. Though talk about a thick accent there, Ancients”. Vlad shoves Danny head, which Danny let’s knock him over on the ground, “it’s͢ ͘q͟u͘i͜te͞ ͞a̕ ̧useful ̡sk̛i̡l̡l͜,̡ ͜why I̕ thi͡nk he̕’s m͏o͠re f͏l̴u̸e̵nt͠ tha͏n҉ ͜yo̶u, Dan̕i̵eļ”. Danny stays laying on the ground, “I’m̕ ̸a̡ na͏t͠iv̵e spea̡k̷ȩr, so̧ ̛I̕ ͠don̕’̡t͞ ̡th̶ink̷ so”.

Flynn leans back, pushes away the bucket, and puts his arms on his knees, “ÿæ ßtåŷįñ’ thërë¿“. Danny nods with a grin from the floor and gives a thumbs up, earning a head shake from Flynn.

All three snap their heads to the kitchen entranceway as feet pound down the steps and Maddie and Jack come barging in, everyone then looking to the lab door as Jazz pushes it open while dusting off her pants and grumbling, “I so do not envy Danny having to clean that all the time”, pausing and looking up around everyone before zeroing in on three people sitting/laying on the floor, “Flynn! Danny! What happened!”, and runs over while glaring at and obviously blaming Vlad, who stands and readjusts his suit like he’s embarrassed to be caught caring. Well get caught by anyone other than Danny anyway; which makes sense ‘cause Vlad would probably be all caring about Danny if Danny wasn’t, you know, not evil.

Danny rolls over onto his back, looking at Jazz, “guess who can’t stomach human stuff?”, and jabs a thumb towards Flynn while Maddie rushes over and helps Flynn stand. Well okay, Flynn mostly waves off said help and stands up on his own, but still; Flynn also promptly grabs up his staff again. That staff’s probably some kind of comfort item for the guy.

Jack laughs as he comes to stand next to Vlad, “guess we’ll be cooking with a lot more ecto!”. Danny can practically feel malicious intent wafting of Vlad. Flynn grunting, “I’m ‘ine”. Which Maddie looks at him sweetly over and Jazz shakes her head at, “well let’s move into the living room anyway. Then you-”, glaring at Flynn, “-can sit down, and we can all hear what happened to you”. Vlad nods and hums, “yes I would like to know how I acquired a son from another timeline that’s been living nomadically in the Ghost Zone”.

Jack laughs as they all walk into the living room, “yup! Most we know is that some darn ghosty called Misery Vex took you at some point!”. Maddie and Jazz watching Flynn with slight worry as they walk. Danny just eyes Vlad to see if Vlad shows even the slightest amount of recognition regarding this ‘Misery Vex’, he doesn’t -fuck Danny’s luck- but Danny can’t exactly expect the man to know of every ghost ever. Regardless Danny skips over, puts his hands behind his back and sticks his face next to Vlad’s, “guessin’ you don’t know who that is either?”. Vlad scowls, “‘fraid not, but when I find them, and I will, I’m going to make them beg me to end them and then I’m going to find out how good ghost skin is at reupholstering my dining room chairs”.

Danny blinks, “I forgot there was a reason you and Skulker got along. Also, I doubt you have the skill set to be skinning anyone. Also also, I’m amazed you care that much”, and smirks.

“Must you mock me so, boy”.

Danny grins, “well.., how would you like me to mock you? I’ll hear your requests”, shrugging, “sure I might ignore them, but I’ll certainly hear them”. And finally flops to sit down on the love seat, Vlad sitting next to him with scowl. Jazz opts to sit with Maddie and Jack on the couch, while Flynn takes the chair; got to give the loner nomad his personal space after all.

Flynn huffs, “yeah, Vex’s is tha one that pulled me in ta tha Infinite Realm”. Jack doesn’t give him a chance to say more, tilting his head, “is that what ghosts call the Ghost Zone?!?”. Danny and Vlad both quietly sigh into their hands. Flynn squints at the large man, “ya nevar asked ‘em?”.; at least Maddie and Jack have the decency to look sheepish. Flynn squints more, “it’s what it’s called. Propar name”. Danny chuckles and waves Flynn off, “eh, then Zone can be slang”, ‘Zone’ was in fact common slang. Flynn rolls his eyes.

Vlad sighs quietly again, “linguistics aside, was there a reason Vex took you? And I’m just to assume you’re in this timeline purely due to your old one ceasing to exist”. Which Danny mutters, “duh”, at. Everyone ignores him as Flynn shrugs, “don’ know, like I’ve said ‘ready, ain’t stickin’ ‘round half spider creature-”. Danny’s wondering if the guy’s getting tired of explaining that. “-bark armour wasn’ friendly lookin’ eithar”.

Danny eyes Flynn’s bark armour, “guess yours doesn’t make you look all that approachable either”. With Maddie jumping in, “did you get that idea from It?”. Making Flynn blink at her before looking to Danny, “I did say Vex’s a lady, ‘ight?”. Danny nods but Jazz is the one to audibly sigh, drawing Flynn’s attention as she talks, “yes but-”, side-eyeing her parents, “-ghosts don’t get pronouns”.

Maddie rolls her eyes not unkindly, “now honey, we’ve talked about this, ghosts aren’t sentient or complex enough to understand gender and we don’t call plants ‘he’ or ‘she’-”. Danny coughs into his hand, “Sam does, you know”; which goes ignored. Maddie continuing, “-so why would we do so for ghosts? It would be like assigning gender to lightning”. Danny sighs internally, and he bets both Jazz and Vlad do as-well.

Flynn just stares at her for a while before blinking, “moron-”. Danny has the distinct feeling his folks are going to be hearing Flynn calling them ‘morons’ an awful lot. “-they have preferances. Blobs are no gendar, not tha Cored”. Vlad sighs dramatically, “what does gender have to do with my son's abduction”. Danny chuckles to himself faintly, guess Vladdie really grabbed onto the whole ‘I have a son’ thing with absolute confidence. Made sense. Ancients if Danny accepted him then the man probably wouldn’t stop using the word ‘son’ at every possible opportunity for a solid month.

Jack laughs almost awkwardly and scratches his head, “nothing! I guess”. Vlad scowls at him.

Flynn clears his throat, “well she-”. Nice passive-aggressiveness going on there. “-couldn’ ‘xactly follow me aftar I slippin’ inta some rock crag”, grunting, “ghost can’ go through rocks ‘n what not there”. Jack looks like he’s physically restraining himself from peppering Flynn with questions about that. Danny thinks this should be obvious though, since ghosts not being able to phase through ectoplasmic constructs/formations is literally how ghost shields worked. Like, duh.

Vlad just nods with a hum, “so you’ve been on your own since?”; which Flynn nods at. Maddie huffs, “I’m amazed the ghost didn’t chase you down”; Flynn shrugs, clearly not about to claim to understand why himself. Which yeah, abducting a kid through a portal seemed like a lot of effort to put in to just turn around and let the human run away; probably thought that this random human child wouldn’t be able to effectively avoid capture or survive on his own. Well surprise mother fucker! Flynn’s a Fenton -well a Masters too but whatever- being able to handle ghost shit is in his genes.

Danny decides to ask something that’s actually mildly important for him to know, “so bark armour and the lower half of a spider, anything else?”. His mom quirks an eyebrow at him so Danny elaborates/makes up an excuse, “wouldn’t it be good to know what a ghost that may come after him looks like?”. Earning an approving hum from her. Danny’s more interested in Vlad muttering to himself, “an Arachne then”; sweet, he’s got a species now.

Flynn grunts, “purpal skin, lotsa black eyes, bare bark crown-”. Danny almost chokes at that and he’s sure Vlad at least went slightly wide-eyed, because crown implied royalty. Which just great, that meant Danny was going to have to deal with whoever all kingly and shit. “-an clothes were shinebettle, I think-”. So basically shiny latex leather? Alright, that’s a look. “-an wendigo mane pelt ovar spidar half-”. Well that all but confirms Danny’s suspicions that Vex is from or at least frequents the FairLands. The only wendigo’s that didn’t just turn to ectoplasmic ash when destroyed were the faebeast ones. Hooray for having to probably go see Oberon. “-She had a fauchard ta”. Danny nods to himself.

Jack taps his chin, “that still doesn’t explain why though”, earning shrugs all around. Jack grinning, “we should hunt Vex down and find out!”. Which Vlad actually grins at, “yes, you go do that”. Danny kicking the man subtly and whispering, “Vlad no. Bad”, he knows the only reasons Vlad’s encouraging that is ‘cause his folks might torture the ghost and because the ghost might harm/kill Jack.

Maddie shakes her head and chastises Jack, “you’ll be doing no such thing, we don’t know the Zone is actually safe”, glancing at Flynn, “regardless of Flynn’s survival. Flukes happen”. Danny thinks it would make way more sense to guess it's safer than they thought than to just assume Flynn got lucky. But hey! At least he doesn’t have to worry as much that his folks are just going to run wild in the Zone anytime soon.

Vlad rolls his eyes though speaks somewhat sweetly, “dear Maddie, always being the voice of reason”. Maddie grimaces, and Flynn glances between them with a slight frown. Vlad digs in his pocket when his ringer goes off though. Speaking up after reading the screen, “seems some of the underlings are too moronic to deal with some problem alone”, looking up to everyone, “so I must be taking my leave now”, and stands up.

Jack jumping up, “well we can finish up Flynn’s room and he can join us after you’ve said your goodbyes! Wouldn’t want to interrupt that!”, and laughs. Maddie smiling sweetly and following him once again upstairs. Jazz sighs and moves to follow them, “I’ll make sure they didn’t get carried away”; while Danny just stretches and lounges out across the loveseat. Watching Vlad talk down at the still seated Flynn.

“I guess I’ll have to leave dealing with this Misery Vex in your and young Daniel’s hands. I don’t particularly have time to deal with petty ghost squabbles”, side-eyeing Danny, “he’s quite experienced with those though, so I doubt he’ll fail to be an effective meat-shield if needed”.

Flynn rolls his eyes, “I don’ care ta ‘deal with’ her at all. ‘Ine as is”. While Danny snorts at Vlad, “Ancients, you’re such a fucking pissant”.

Earning squinting from Vlad, “I’m the mayor and one of the richest people in the world”, huffing, “and I’m nothing to scoff at power-wise”.

“You are staying that... to the literal king... of death”. Danny smirks, “I’m fucking lucifer, bitch”. Vlad and Flynn blink and stare at him. Danny rubs his neck, “eh, too much?”. They both nod slightly. And there the similarities go being creepy again. Vlad shakes his head slowly, looking back to Flynn, “ignoring that, you can contact me for anything. Particularly if you decide being here isn’t worth the effort or annoyance”, and pats Flynn’s head, “you’ll want for nothing regardless”, making shooing motions at him, “now run along and help your mother and sister stop that imbecile from installing an anti-ghost auto-detection machine gun on your ceiling or some other nonsense”. Danny vaguely hates that his dad might actually do that. Though he’s surprised that Flynn actually does as he’s told with only a mild amount of suspicious squinting. Maybe he’s tired of Vlad’s existence? Doubtful but Danny can hope. Probably more likely the guy just wanted to get closer to being able to have some alone time, and room set up was an effective way to do that.

Danny waits till Flynn disappears upstairs to speak up, “hey Vlad?”. Vlad doesn’t even look back at him, instead just staring up the stairs, “hmmm?”.

“Don’t fuck this up. You know, like you always do”. Danny glares seriously at Vlad as he goes to stand up and Vlad actually looks to him with a quirked eyebrow, “but if you ever hurt him you won’t need to wonder where your god is anymore, because he’s coming for you and he’ll be fresh outta mercy”, squinting, “all these fucks will have flown off, never to return again. And you will be left crippled, withered, dried up and crapped on. At the bottom of a shitty little well where people will throw out their rotten fruit down on you and the remnants of your shitty little life”, glaring more, “we clear”. Vlad nods a bit stiffly; after all, when the king orders something or warns you, you fucking listen. Danny decides to really hammer it home though, “the fucking heat death of the universe will not be able to even approach the level of damage that the amount of fucks I will no longer give will cause you. What I’m saying is, I wouldn’t mind tearing out a length of your intestines, rolling it in a pan, sprinkling on some nice cinnamon and maybe some raisins. You know, for texture and a little added surprise. Then sliding it right into the oven for a nice little cinnamon bun”, chuckling meanly, “there’s even some icing pre-made in the fridge. So I’m all ready to go, bitch. Then I could use your hollowed-out torso to ride you like a meat toboggan. I’m sure your fucking intestines could be utilised as perfectly fine ropes to control my descent down the bloody snow-covered hill all the way into the depths of madness that you were birthed from years ago”.

“Daniel... you’ve made your point”, Vlad actually sounds slightly disturbed. Danny rolls his eyes and puts his hand in his pockets, “yeah well, so long as you don’t go making god sacrificing his only son look like a good parenting technique”.

“I... won’t”.

Danny pats Vlad on the arm, “good talk then”, and finger guns before heading upstairs, “and I’m still not your fam, frootloop”. Vlad just scowls at him and leaves, closing the door slightly louder than necessary. Return to normalcy achieved.

41 notes · View notes

r-o-se · 7 years

Photo

BASICALLY 101 comments/thoughts/things on Produce 101 S2E2

So we are BACK TOPOFTHEMORNINGTOYALADDIES AND WELCOME BACK TO ANOTHER EPISODE OF p101 live commentary

1. The kids are watching the last ep

2. The first vote results, Bae Jinyoung first, Wang Minhyuk last. Poor kid. Stop naming kids Minhyuk theres 6 of them on the field already it’s like Michael in America lol

3. Back to the evaluations

4. Woojin goes up, Daniel is like ’He’s rly cute I hugged him already’ tbh everyone call him cute lol

5. Does JB Baby, what a classic lol. Got a B and praised for his pronunciation

6. Aaahahahah lmao he asked for water and has to choose between two judges. Chooses Cheetah and she looks blessed af

7. Kid has problems with opening stickers lol

8. YGk+ performance, everyone are shook about their legs

9. Their performance isn’t that good though, poor dudes. One D, other three F

10. Roll yet ANOTHER compilation of the hottest kids this season

11. Yongbin aka the dude with a nose bridge straighter and higher than my will to live

12. Dongsoo and Namhyung from S.How do an AMAZING self composed song, are cute and talented as fuck. Namhyung got an A and Dongsoo got a B. Cheetah loves them ME TOO ME TOO

13. Compilation of rappers, the overall comment on teachers is ‘Cheetah is cute omg but Dunmill is scary’

14. Editing: aw cheetah is cute now with longer hair

15. Cheetah: does the snoop dogg dance yno the smoke weed everyday one

16. ‘Boys are calmer’ no they are more desperate and scared of failure

17. Jung Jungji prepared a SHITTON for EXO Growl, a bajillion vids of it. But sadly I guess his nerves got to him, he didn’t do well aaaaaaaaaaaand got an F. Stop fucking laughing at him. Most of the audience is dancing along though such an iconic song

18. He looks dead inside but says “I’m glad because I made BoA laugh”

19. HOTSHOT HOTSHOT HOTSHOT SUNGWOON TAEHYUN SUNGWOON TAEHYUN

20. Do Block B Very Good, MURDER IT IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE, AMAZING energy, everyone love it, first and only all company A rank

21. Who am I fooling I actually watched their performance like 4 times before this on youtube just because of how much I love it the energy is so good

22. Taehyun’s freestyle krump was on POINT tru kid monster right there. His expressions are soooooo good

23. Now the kids are writing their future wishes or something like that to a huge whiteboard

24. Kim Dongbin from kiwi ent looks sooooo nervous save that kid

25. He’s doing chewing gum and stopped in the middle for some x reason?

26. He stopped bc one of the judges pulled out his in-ear in a weird way and he thought that meant he needs to stop

27. HES CRYING OUT OF NERVES RESCUE THAT POOR KID OMG

28. Everyone are cheering for him to continue THIS IS SO SWEET AAAHHHHHH EVEN JINWOO MOVED HIS HANDS AND CLAPPED

29. And he finished his performance w a cute smile and………. got an F

30. ’My level should be lower than F. I’m grateful for F’

31. FNC Hwiseung comes out DOES SHINEE REPLAY GOT MY VOTE

32. JELLY HEESEOK DOES CHAINED UP ALSO GOT MY VOTE

33. Judges don’t like either and say both feel rushed… Hwiseung got a D and Heeseok got an F… damn

34. Starship Sewoon and Kwanghyun come in, everyone get hype. One of them hates dancing and individ. trainee Jaehwan went to the same school as Sewoon. They Maroon 5 Sugar, everyone loves it

35. Sewoon plays guitar and composes, everyone STILL loves it and for a very good reason

36. BoA: So do u wanna be an idol or a singer?

Sewoon: CEO

37. Starship gets a double B

38. RYTHM TA COVER, amazing vocals, acrobatics, taekwondo (is this the K-Tiger trainee?) basically just a compilation of the coolest kids this season

39. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Jang Moonbok clip again

40. He’s doing BTS Boy In Luv and…. It isn’t too good poor dude

41. Seriously Mnet’s son bc his singing isn’t good yet the only reactions they are showing from crowd are the most positive ones

42. He got an F

43. Brand New come up, roll clip of the absolute snake team San E and Jint ent company lol kids are cute tho

44. Do a song composed by Daehwi, choreo made by Woojin that sounds eerily like a GOT7 Hard Carry

45. Daehwi's vocals are good but his range isn’t too high rip. One of the kids did a bboy pose thing on one hand. Someone in the crowd dabbed

46. Daehwi and Woojin got an A, Youngmin and Donghyun got B’s

47. End of the evaluation, 7 A rank trainees, 17 B rank, 21 C rank, 25 D rank and 31 F rank. Last season there was like….. 20 something A rank holy shit

48. Revealing the high pitched as hell song and the difficult ass choreo

49. The best can go to M Countdown with it, A gets center and the ult center gets a solo part

50. The one who has an A rank is basically a god and the one who gets the center position is literally the definition of ’what’s a god to a non-believer’

51. They’re moving in now and get their ugly colour coded sweaters lol

52. F rank trying to cope ’I actually rly like gray clothes… Still want pink tho’

53. Why is korea so obsessed with ages lol

54. Sungwoon took like an air humidifier and candles and an electric mat and whatnot lmaoooo

55. Goblin parody ensue. Some trainee, Yoo Jinwon looks just like male Eun Tak (The female lead of goblin)

56. Group practice is soooooo unbalanced holy SHIT

57. The song is so high pitched they are all dying inside

58. JINWOO IS TALKING my dude…. In F rank…. Depressing

59. Daehwi is a sad boy bc the entire B team belted out the high notes like no joke

60. Two dance black holes make slow mo eye contact if im not incorrect its the Cube F rank and one of the YGk+ F ones with a haircut idk how to describe.. like… its black… sure is black

61. Within 10 minutes A rank fucking aces the dance as a whole, sure its not perfect but it looks GREAT

62. F is a… Mess sighs. At least that’s how they’re portrayed. In group shots at least half of the kids can do the dance just GREAT but sure obvs mnet isnt gonna show them

63. Daehwi has problems with the high notes poor lil kid

64. Namhyun, Sungwoo and Sungwoon have no problems hitting it though

65. I fucking hate this system because rappers need to excel in vocals too which is fucking unfair and they just humiliated BNM Woojin who cant reach the notes and the trainer is NO FUCKING HELP and doesn’t guide him or anything just looks at him judgingly just fuck off dude seriously

66. Sungwoo is just like Sejeong, got everyone shook during first evaluation, sings like an angel and CAN actually dance but has small problems while adapting to the choreo

67. Now to the D group training KAHI MY MOTHER

68. Baekho has problems concentrating to the dance and they only show him obviously thanks Mnet for nothing like he is not the type of person for p101 hes literally the furthest away from the p101 type why did pledis force them there Im so fucking angry dude

69. Another poor black hole cutie is Cube Guanlin ugh im so sad about him DON’T CRY

70. But others are helping him which makes me happy thank god for that

71. C group get compared to chicks and vitamin C lol

72. The C group vocal trainer is pretty af and everyone are in love including me

73. ‘Age is just a number’ BOI

74. Bae Jinyoung keeps looking at the ground SHY BOY but he also messed up his singing poor kiddo

75. B team has the same vocal coach as A and I think D has the same dude

76. Honestly I fucking hate that dude he’s so rude to rapper kids and doesn’t even help him and Mnet tries to play it off like ‘haha tsundere’ but no he’s just an asshole

77. One of the rappers does adlibs lol

78. But everyone else are just in pain I fucking hate this system so much

79. Woojin is a small baby but sings like gold

80. AND D TEAM HAS THE SAME ASSHOLE COACH

81. He picks out NU’EST right away ugh but MY DUDE REN DOES SO WELL

82. RBW GUNHEE MY B O I HOLY HELL SINGS SO WELL WHYS HE IN D even the coach said he did the best out of the grades he coaches ( A B and D)

83. That coach is so much nicer in D

84. I take everything back he just fucking destroyed my baby Hyungseob I’m so fucking done with everything

85. B team dance class que

86. Kang Daniel feels a bit full of himself but tbh he is literally perfect at everything and has the dance clean already

87. Kim Jaehwan has problems with dance this is like with Juna last season lol

88. JAEHWAN IS PRACTICING ALONE AS THE LAST ONE THERE POOR KID

89. The dorm clips, everyone are practicing

90. Aaaaaaaaand now they’re doing the reevaluation filming

91. B grade Kim Sangbin danced really well and even sang well even though hes a rapper and then dabbed lmao hope lost

92. MY LIL JUSTIN KIDDO IS UP but holy shit his singing is really bad I’m sad

93. Everyone are saying they are anticipating Minhyun to move up by a rank but his clip is awful I’m so fucking sad dude I don’t have any words to express my absolute misery he looks so beaten up and other trainees are trying to console him I’m so fucking sad

94. Now it’s Baekho’s turn, he doesn’t do too well either but it def isn’t THAT bad and mnet is just trying to make NU’EST look bad because they aren’t showing JR’s clip even though he was good enough to move up to B grade

95. The dude with the best singing voice, Gunhee, his singing voice broke rip

96. Moonbok’s clip wasn’t good and everyone are sad bc he practiced a lot

97. Kwon Hyunbin from YGk+ does really shit and I feel soooooooooooo sorry because he isn’t doing good and people aren’t vvoting for him either but it just won’t come out right and im SO SORRY FOR HIM AAAAAAAGHHHHHH and like YGk+ is a modelling company so he wont debut and then theres this kid Ha Minho who I like too and his rank is like what 94 rn hes gonna fucking die. I hate this show why is it so addicting

98. Calls to family ft. a lot of tears from everyone but Jisung’s sister has the same sense of humor as Jisung does its gr8 why isn’t he in top 11 vote for him jesus fuck

99. Judges are gonna watch the reevaluation things now time to Get Sad Bois

100. Daehwi and Samuel get praised and JAEHWAN MY LIL BOY FIXED HIS DANCE IM SO PROUD

101. Oh no now theyre gonna watch Minhyuns catastrophe clip I want to fucking die

102. Kahi said that Min gets pressured when competing with other people I’m so fucking sad my boy is so stable and talented if anyone wants good NU’EST lives just fucking hit me up he is sooooo high quality stop bullying him @mnet @pledis

103. Why do they only show bad clips I’m so sad and the trainers all laugh at them this just… it’s so ugly leave the kids alone they are under such immense pressure with such a difficult song and choreo

104. Finally they are showing the good trainees I’m so glad give them that ATTENTION and MY KID HYUNGSEOB IS THERE WITH A PEACE SIGN

105. And to end it now they’re getting the reevaluation grades and a bunch of kids are moving up I’m glad but they aren’t showing anyone’s new grades

And now, also good screencaps that didn’t make it into the top 9, some funny, some depressing, Also I’m ready to stab anyone who came up with the goddamn food and bathroom break ration they’re doing by rank like what is this u cant dance u cant eat?? well hello there stalin

170 notes · View notes

undeadpsycho13 · 7 years

Text

a cup of coffee to warm my icy heart

GUYS GUYS GUYS THE COFFEE SHOP AU THINGY IS DONE (first chapt at least. this whole thing is going to be AT LEAST 5 chapters)

imma tag these people, for wonderful awesome ideas: @puzzle-of-life-reason-for-death (for coming up with the headcanon/awesome au), @baitsakhan-adlai (for glaring at me constantly across the room telling me telepathically to hurry up), @13thendgameplayer (for the beautiful pickup lines you supplied, truly they were amazing, i swear to god imma use more of them in the next chapts), @redheaded-sniper-girl (this is to repent my sins, im sry this part wasnt mac’s perspective, i promise at least some of it will be, i hope you like this), and @baitsabeeisreal (bc even tho she didnt really contribute, she’s like the #1 baitsabee fan out there)

okay, yeesh, long boring credits are over, now lets get on with the show!! :D

CHAPTER 1: HOT, DARK, STRONG, JUST LIKE ME

The first time was an accident.

Baitsakhan didn’t really mean to walk into a coffee shop that wasn’t Starbucks, it just kind of happened. His legs kind of just… carried him away from the Starbucks nearest to his house, and since he couldn’t be bothered to walk an extra block to the second closest Starbucks, he decided to try out that shady looking “Endgame” cafe. Edgy name, Baitsakhan thought absent-mindedly. Well, technically he did have reason, and it wasn’t really an accident, but hey, he can’t just say he didn’t want to go back to the Starbucks because he was pissed at the cashier. That Hilal something, who was all about niceness and world peace and all that other nonsensical bull. It just pissed him off, how people could be so cheery and kind. The Incident last week, involving at least a dozen pamphlets on saving the environment and using Baitsakhan as a bulletin board, was the final straw. He couldn’t go back to Starbucks after that, and what right did the world have to take away coffee from a poor, sleep-deprived, coffee-needing teenager, right?

A text lit his phone just when he was about halfway across the street. He ignored the faint vibration. Really, it could only be three people: Jalair, his very over-protective brother who wouldn’t let him do anything remotely fun (“Baitsakhan, what are you doing to that poor kitten?” “Oh, I don’t know, maybe just cutting off his tail with a butter knife if you suddenly went blind today.” “How could you do that to poor Muffin??!!”), his horribly awesomely social sister Sarangerel who had a bajillion times more friends than Baitsakhan (“A bajillion times zero is still zero Baits.” “That’s not my point.”), or his Chinese friend (read: only friend) An Liu (contrary to popular belief, Baitsakhan did have one friend, though even he didn’t care to admit it). Turns out, curiousity got the better of him, and after another five or six continuous obnoxious buzzes (by now he was sure it was Sarangerel), Baitsakhan whipped out his phone angrily, prepared to type out a biting lecture about why friends and family should not double text and annoy the hell out of him in the process, when he realised –– with a frown –– that the number displayed on his phone was an unfamiliar one, labelled neither “Mother-Hen”, nor “Social Butterfly”, nor “Asian Hacker Lovebird”. In fact, the area code displayed it wasn’t even from the area.

And all of them, every single text, was the same thing: bring me the goddamned ice cream. A final: ais ik ur redin these txts topped it off.

The atrocious grammar pissed him off. So did the fact that this person called him freaking Ais. What kind of name was that, anyways? Typing furiously, a long paragraph was added to the message: F off, I’m not Ais. You’ve got the wrong number idiot. Besides, who would give ice cream to you?? Loser. By the way, don’t text me back. Like ever again. Delete this message immediately, or my weird hacker friend will be out to get you and possibly put a bullet through your head with a drone if you don’t. Have a nice life!

Feeling pleased with his impeccable grammar, and his nice little response, Baitsakhan continued along towards the coffee shop. The a hidden speaker above the door emitted a faint ringing noise, which was, too be honest, quite annoying. He didn’t understand how anyone could stand hearing that sound hundreds of times a day. For once, he kind of felt bad for the baristas.

The coffee shop was surprisingly quite crowded, at least compared to what Baitsakhan’s expectations would be. In the far corner, a sturdy-looking dark-skinned girl sat opposite of another one, except slim and of Indian heritage. Closer to the entrance sat a woman, hijab covering half her head, alone, sipping a cup of coffee with an icy expression on her face. Near the cashier, three people were chatting animatedly, a guy with a scar on his face holding hands with a blond girl, sitting across from a pretty Native-American girl.

Baitsakhan made a face. He really should have just sucked it up and settled with Starbucks. All these annoying people… at least the Starbucks was relatively quiet. Sighing, he made a mental note not to come back again, before begrudgingly trudging up to the counter.

The boy standing at the counter was presumably in his late teens, his hair honey colored with streaks of something darker tied up into a short ponytail, displaying a set of silver earrings that contrasted nicely with his immaculate jet-black suit, though steaks of it were already coming loose. It suited him nicely, Baitsakhan couldn’t help but notice. His electric blue eyes, wary like that of a predator’s, flashed eagerly at having another customer, perhaps saving him from his endless boredom. A nonchalant expression crossed his face, followed by a knowing smirk, and then was once again replaced by a mockingly polite look as he called out,

“How may I help you?”

Baitsakhan stared unabashedly at the guy, unamused.

“I thought this was a coffee shop. Get me some goddamned coffee.”

Something akin to surprise appeared in the cashier’s eyes, but like every other emotion quickly disappeared. He probably didn’t get rude comments like this often. Serves him right, thought Baitsakhan, trying to ignore the boy’s undeniable hotness as a feral grin spread across the guy’s face. The name Maccabee was written on a pin proudly hung from the guy’s breast pocket. Baitsakhan duly noted this, for no reason at all. He had no reason to store away this kind of information. He totally wasn’t planning on coming back again.

“Okayyy then,” he drawled, every word unnecessarily lengthened, “How would you like your coffee?”

“Hot, dark, strong.” Baitsakhan had no time for this nonsense.

“Just like me then,” Maccabee said, waggling his eyebrows.

Baitsakhan stared, unimpressed,

“Do you flirt with everything that walks on two legs?”

Again, the guy looks surprised. Probably hasn’t had a pick-up line thrown back at his face before, Baitsakhan thinks with a smirk.

“Nope, just cute ones.”

The barista turned to make the coffee, and thank God he turned to make the coffee, because Baitsakhan has chosen just the right time to have his face turn completely red.

Ugh.

He really should have just gone to Starbucks.

A/N:

cringey title, cringey chapter title, cringey everything… sounds about right

i should have mentioned before, YES I TOTALLY SHIP AN AND BAITS AS A BROTP EVEN THO ITS SUPER WEIRD AND THEY PROB HATE EACH OTHER CANON BUT WHO CARES.

also, sorry about the non-typical depiction of maccabee, i kinda just imagined him with long hair one day and it… kinda spiralled off into the void?? idk. i kinda like it.

ALSO, i sorta maybe incorporated a wrong number!au into this also. sue me, i was playing around with thing and it got outta hand, ok

next chapt will be up by the end of the week (hopefully earlier, i have an hr to write tomorrow, and this chapt only took an hr, so… possibly tomorrow :) no guarantees tho)

#endgame #coffee shop!au #baitsakhan #maccabee #baitsabee #4 life #sarangerel #jalair #an liu #wrong number!au

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viralhottopics · 7 years

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A Definitive Ranking Of 2000s Rom Coms

Although people who peaked in high school like to act poetic about how great the 2000s were, they werent actually any better than the present day. I mean, it was a time when Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake wore matching denim outfits in public and nobody carted them off to an insane asylum.

But Im prepared to make a concession on two points: 1) At least we werent under the administration of a sentient slime mold wearing a bad wig. 2) The 2000s were a golden age for romantic comedies, mostly thanks to Judy Greers tireless efforts to play every heroines best friend. Plus, only like half the jokes were sexist, and there was about an 80% chance pre-pretentious Matthew McConaughey would show up.

Obviously, a betch has to be picky about her rom-comssome are shitty in a good way, but others are best avoided in case someone catches you watching them. To guide your Netflix viewings, here’s a totally objective list of 00s rom coms. If you disagree, which Im sure everyone will, please note that Im not actually forcing you to watch these movies; Im just saying that if you regularly watch any of the bottom five, you have terrible taste.

14.

is considered a modern classic by two groups of people. 1) men in their late 20s with a crush on Natalie Portman and a thriving quarter-life crisis and 2) 8th graders in 2004 under the assumption that any movie that features a Shins track in its soundtrack is automatically deep. To everyone else, its a film about self-absorbed white people whining about their lives until theyre magically fixed by the power of mixtapes. There are approximately a zillion issues with this film, beginning with Zach Braffs complete lack of expression and ending with the fact that you cant cure real depression by listening to The Shins, no matter how clearly superior the soundtrack is to anything else in this film. Worst of all, though, is the fact that Natalie Portman played a manic pixie dream girl so obnoxious I still dream about strangling her character sometimes. Padme deserves so much better.

13.

Im not saying romantic comedies have to make much sense, but s plot is mystifying. Matthew McConaugheys parents are tired of him living at home, so they call in a lady high class escort (Sarah Jessica Parker) whose job is literally seducing men into moving out of their parents basements and unceremoniously dumping them. Because that’s plausible, and not at all fucked up to force your son to fall in love with someone you’re paying. Ridiculous premise aside, you know a movie is terrible when famed nicegirl Zooey Deschanel is the best thing about it.

12. Monster-in-Law

In case you missed this one, and for your sake I hope you did, is about Jane Fonda inexplicably being terrible to Jennifer Lopez, who walks a lot of dogs and is engaged to Fondas son. That right there should tell you all you need to knowI cannot think of one movie that JLo was in that was anything above mild torture, and we’re supposed to root for her character why, exactly? If my son was engaged to a full-time dog walker you can best believe I’d do everything short of actual murder to put a stop to that bullshit.

11.

Im told some people love this movie, but Jesus fucking Christ, is it possible for the two main characters to be any more appalling? Here you have two assholes manipulating the shit out of each other and just generally acting psychotic, all to win a stupid bet with their friends. They really should call it “How To Act Like A Psychopath And Lose Your Dignity.”

10.

Not gonna lie, I fucking adored when I was an impressionable preteen. It had time travel! Mark Ruffalo! A makeover scene! Years later, the movie is still fun to watch, even if it is way too obsessed with the 80s, but the jokes are more cute than funny. Also, why would anyone allow their 13-year-old child to go to a sleepover hosted by a 30-year-old? That is … questionable to say the least. Not to mention Jennifer Garner’s character does a reverse transformation from a betch into a nicegirl and dumps her hot pro bf in favor of her formerly fat friend. Blah blah, true love, I don’t give a fuck. Tenth.

is close to being wrapped in cutesy narration, but it’s far superior. For one thing, it reintroduced the world to Joseph Gordon-Levitts dimples. For another, it manages to be a fairly realistic depiction of a shitty millennial relationship without being super fucking depressing. But thats also kind of the problemrom coms arent supposed to be realistic, theyre supposed to be clich and feel-good, and I don’t care what you say, Summer is a thot. I have literally stayed up at night mapping how she could have possibly met someone worthy of engagement a mere 118 days after she broke up with Tom, and only six days after attending a wedding as his guest (yes I did the mathI told you; this movie keeps me up at night). No matter how you slice it, she had to have cheated on somebody.

Full disclosure: As a Southern betch, Im stoked that takes place right next door. (Dear Hollywood: An entire country exists between New York and LA.) But even though it features Patrick Dempsey as the other man, Josh Lucas with a dreamy Southern accent, and Reese Witherspoon, there are still some issues. Mainly, WTF WERE YOU THINKING, MELANIE? Did you really dump your future president fianc for your secret redneck husband just so “the first boy you kissed could also be your last”? I’ve heard of trying to keep your number down, but damn if this isn’t some delusional shit.

Everyone on planet Earth can relate to having a batshit crazy family, and thats exactly what makes appealing. The two leads are fine, considering they’re not Kate Hudson or Matthew McConaughey, but the extended family is everyones favorite part of the movie. Honestly the most memorable moment to come out of this movie is the “put some Windex on it”pretty good deal for Windex, not so much for the people who actually starred in the movie. However, it does get points for the memorable line: “The man may be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head any way she pleases.”

The plot is pretty flimsy (a Canadian businesswoman has to marry her assistant to avoid deportation) but everyone loves a story where the couple starts out hating each other and eventually falls in love. The cast is what makes this movie pure rom com gold: Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, and Betty fucking White, who gifted us with the infamous Native American dance scene. Basically, it’s predictable but ridiculous, making it better than some of the other garbage movies on this list.

Admittedly, is probably to blame for some of the chubby man-child/beautiful, svelte woman couplings we see in the media that give men unrealistic beauty expectations (of the types of women they can expect to date), otherwise known as The Beyonc/Jay Z Phenomenon. But whatevs. Its a good movie. Seth Rogen has that whole dad bod thing going onapparently a thing some people are intoand Katherine Heigl was at the top of her rom com game before she pissed off the entire cast of .is actually hilarious, which is enough to make up for the fact that Katherine Heigl appears in it.

Even aside from my undeniable crush on youthful Sandra Bullock, is a quintessential early-2000s romantic comedy. Allow me to explain. 1) It stars an ambitious career woman who dont need no man. 2) But she kind of wants one anyway, and everyone realizes what a catch she is when she puts on lipstick and a dress. 3) Did I mention its plot is literally an extended makeover scene as Bullock goes from bad ass FBI agent to bad ass beauty pageant contestant? I rest my case. Add in some cute female friendships and a scene in which Bullock teaches us how to fend off an attacker, and its basically required viewing every year.

You had to know was going to make the list despite this amazing take-down article of why it’s actually terrible. With approximately a bajillion storylines going on, its hard not to find one you like and get invested, and it doesnt hurt that the film features every well-known British actor under the sun. Im not sure how the movie manages to juggle all the different plots without being confusing and/or boring, but Im not gonna question it. However, this shit is TOO FUCKING LONG. If I have to pop an Adderall just to make it through a damn movie (which I do), you need to send your editors back to the drawing board.

is the perfect example of a rom com thats super clich in theory, but in practice, its so fucking heartwarming it doesnt even matter (ugh). Katherine Heigl plays ultimate nicegirl Jane (in case the fact that her name is “Jane” wasn’t enough of a clue), whos been part of 27 weddings and miraculously hasnt gone broke from buying all the bridesmaid dresses. The dudes are pretty forgettable, but Janes psychotic sister and slutty best friend totally steal the spotlight, elevating the film to truly betchy heights.

P.S. For once, James Marsden plays the leading man, so his preternaturally perfect face gets more screen time, #bless.

Bridget Joness Diary is the ultimate feel-good movie, as in its literally impossible to watch it without feeling your icy soul thaw ever so slightly at the end. The titular character starts out fat, single, and past the age of 30, so basically our worst nightmare. By the end, though, she manages to bang Hugh Grant and Colin Firth, land a better job, and become a self-described wanton sex goddess. If those arent your life goals, you clearly need to start your own self-help journey.