#esp ones made by musicians

[thrill-kill-kult]

#I hope a lot of people see this #poll #music #metal #Im genuinely just so curious about how people build their music taste #I’d say I most often find an artist on a Spotify generated playlist or in my recommendations #and I’ll listen to their top songs then start going through their albums #but I do love using gnoosic and obscurify #I also love finding small playlists #esp ones made by musicians #huge fan of the aggrotech attack playlist #I like pride myself on having extremely obscure taste in music lol #I love showing people cool small bands they’ve never heard of before #on that note check out My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult #and Xorcist

[thatdeadaquarius]

@goldensunsetchild Asked:

Hello there! I know that you might be busy right now but I wanted to let you know an idea that I have, greatly inspired by your post: spanish reader who gets homesick but instead of getting depressed by it starts to do things they used to do back on their world. Dancing to their traditional dances while singing their accompanying songs, teaching the children the games they used to play when they were younger and also telling folktales to everyone who is interested in listening to. If you decide to do this idea and want to incorporate things from Costa Rica, please let me know and I'll help you with anything you need (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。

(Content under cut)

HELLO YES SORRY IT TOOK ME SO DAMN LONG TO GET TO THIS!! 😭 /gen

I went to Costa Rica back in highschool in 2018? I think, and when I tell you I FELL IN LOVEEEE <3333

Costa Rica is a beautiful country and everyone was really nice, vibes were immaculate 🤌 ✨

☆

Sun: Costa Rican Reader! (you/they/them)

Stars: Sumeru cast

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: None known & Trigger Warnings: alcohol usage/drinking game.

Orbit: Headcanons-ish

☆

when u first crash landed in Teyvat, people luckily recognized you from when u were a player!

and u took in whatever culture and traditions everyone was so excited to show you as they were kind enough to give u clothes/food/shelter etc.

butttt… it did get overwhelming after a few months, and u got homesick more and more often :(

after all there wasn’t really an equivalent country to Costa Rica, and you couldn’t just take a plane back home, you were stuck here for… however long it takes someone to leave a video game universe??

You decided to actually do smth abt the crippling depression and “outsider” feelings instead of just rotting away, and went to Sumeru to get closer to the greenery of your home,

it made you feel a little better, but it could be the best, so u decide to lowkey force everyone in Sumeru to convert to Costa Rican LMAO

so ofc u did the most logical thing to convert ppl to a culture, the food!

u helped fund a small restaurant full of classic Costa Rican foods (coughandsoyoucaneatitwheneveryouwantcough)

(u still have the insane mora leftover from what u had in game so ur basically one of the richest ppl in Teyvat ngl 💀)

u recreated just the basic gallo pinto/casado with what was available (some beans from Natlan and rice from Inazuma/Liyue, the Ajilenakh nut from Sumeru acc kinda acts like plantains :0 and local fish/greens for salad)

Needless to say Sumeru is fascinated by the new cuisine and esp since its not a secret that you’ve funded it/made the menu from your homeworld

Alhaitham orders the casado most of the time bc he “admires the exact proportions, its all the nutrients you need, perfectly balanced” NERDDD

Tighnari likes barbudos bc there's not a lot of egg dishes in Sumeru but there are a lot of greens, so he “likes the familiar in unique combinations!”

unsurprisingly, Cyno likes Chancelta bc he can pick it up, eat it quickly, and go on with his patrol

Collei, Kaveh (and secretly Dehya lol) really like being able to munch and snack on sugar cane, (and the plantain imitation desserts!)

(u found sugarcane deep in sumeru forests, it was like on ur world, but sweet flowers sprouted out of the stalks too!)

You decide the next phase was to introduce dances and other fun stuff!!

Nilou was literally shaking with excitement to learn the traditional dances <3 (and also getting ur permission to add fun twists or Sumeru elements to them)

the kids that like to hang around and watch the troupe practice (and join) absolutely got obsessed with swing criollo, it was so cute to watch them all pair up and kinda trip over their own feet trying the footwork out

(u may or may not have teared up bc the band learned how to play a Spanish song for u guys to dance to, just for you)

teaching the theater troupes musicians how to adapt upbeat songs like Caballito Nicoyano or Ticas Lindas

omg getting Nilou Kaveh Faruzan Cyno Dehya (and Dunyazard!) to do the calipso limonense always cheers you up, (which is why they are so eager to do it when ur feeling homesick ❤️‍🩹)

Kaveh steps on too many people’s toes, Dehya gets dizzy from the spins/turns easily, Faruzan keeps spinning for too long, Nilou and Dunyazard are actually secretly latina bc they're so good at it (did they outdo you?? no, no they couldn't possibly-)

and Cyno just really likes the little dance line everyone makes lol

speaking of the General Mahamatra

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

u CANNOT teach Cyno a new game from your home country, and expect him to NOT be the most competitive mf in Teyvat abt it

that's actually how u spread any games from back home, Cyno just does all the work for you and challenges ppl to things like jackses and no one knows what it is

which he then proceeds to strong arm them into learning and beat their asses at it

(yes Cyno wins against you a lot, sorry lmao)

You definitely had a drinking game centered around it one time and the consequences changed with each person who lost

like Cyno had to learn how to cook tamales that were edible, and more importantly..

Alhaitham had to at least attempt the swing criollo lol

(was it unfairly attractive? maybe. was watching Nilou, who was teaching him, and Alhaitham both do swing criollo 2x as attractive?? that's just for u and the Sumeru vision users to know)

SPEAKING OF ALHAITHAM

absolutely hilarious, yet also impressive?? how quickly he picked up ur slang

smug bastard picked it up based off sheer context/vibes too, u didn't even explain it to him, just u trying to go sit down in ur Costa Rican restaurant and he pulls u back before someone mows u down saying “hey, suave un toque-”

YOUR NECK FUCKING CRACKING BC U WHIPPED AROUND TO LOOK AT HIM SO FAST LMAOOO

(ngl u scared the fuck out of the poor scholar before he got all smug abt knowing slang)

accidentally spread this knowledge to other vision users bc he got in the habit of casually using it, tbh more often when ur not around lol (Alhaitham being caught having habits bc he's fond of other ppl?? never)

his favorite is “qué chante…😒 ” obv lol

so now the forest rangers use stuff like pura vida and tuanis sending each other off on patrols! Collei so cutely excited to explain to other Sumeru ppl or tourists where the words come from and what they mean, spreading ur Costa Rica agenda very well 👌

and the mahamatra like to use “Jale pa’la choza” when coming back from the desert to Sumeru city homebase! :)

ALSO bonus:

u absolutely got leyendas into the bedtime warning/ghost stories of the entirety of Sumeru children lmao

u start spooking kids like Dori (Nahida finds them fascinating)

and after awhile u notice Cyno and Dehya mentioning watching out at night for La Llorona or los cadejos 💀??

like you've genuinely made them paranoid, bc they wanna be sweethearts and protect you from them, like even if they don't believe they exist, they're worried you do and are trying to make u feel better lol <3

☆

an iced coffee? for me?? :O 

Blessed be Costa Rica, such a lovely country when I went, and as soon as I got off the plane coming back the first thing I did was make a Costa Rican meal the best I could

like got my mom to prep from dry black beans and rice etc. as fresh as we could get (nowhere near costa rica level btw) and made fresh guac and fried plantain chips and salmon I think? literally cooked the first night back bc I knew I missed the food already/knew id get sick

and I was RIGHT, that food I made was fine, but any other American food so bad I got nauseous

I literally got sick COMING BACK TO THE U.S like 😨???!!! I knew it was bad but not THAT bad lmao

and the first meal I had after that was still a homecooked meal, like my mom made it💀

love the coffee from there too, we even ordered coffee from the farm we visited when I got back to US it was so good (10x better than American obv)

THANK YOU BTW GOLDEN!! FOR BEING SO PATIENT AND LOVELY TELLING ME ALL ABT COSTA RICA <3333

I hope this did some amount of justice to ur beautiful home! :)

Safe Travels Golden Child,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/specifically this AU/fandom, please!")

♡my beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily

#genshin sagau #sagau #genshin isekai #genshin imagines #my asks #aqua asks #fuck i cant remember my tags #genshin impact #genshin impact sagau #genshin x reader #genshin x costa rican reader #costa rican reader #poc reader #gender neutral reader

[genericpuff]

https://www.instagram.com/p/CvO2Fo1vbJU/?igshid=NjZiM2M3MzIxNA==

I don't know if you have seen the last thing RS posted on instagram, and I don't wanna sound mean or like I'm criticizing every single thing she does, but, why does this feels a bit off? Like, I know every author needs money, and that's why they sell books, special editions and merch from those books. But seeing how some people who went to that last "book signing" now want to order or buy ANOTHER lo book just to get an autograph or that "exclusive doodle" feels a bit... Idk, bad? Like, the fans have to spend more money than other fans just to get this stuff? It feels a bit like what happened with that Persephone + Ares book that had a special edition that was all black, but costed more than the regular edition so the fans had to spend more money if they wanted their lo novels to look good together. Idk, maybe i'm just seeing too much into it, but I still wanted to ask your opinion on the matter.

Love your work, btw. Lo rekindled is so good, and your art is beautiful!

OKAY SO

I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THIS INSTAGRAM POST LOL

so I looked into it and yeah! it's off! it's super off!

story time, but there's this band I'm really into where, 1-2 years ago, they had released two new separate EP's, and they were selling them individually as special editions, only for them to then SELL THEM ALL OVER AGAIN AS BUNDLED VERSIONS AND THIS JUST LIKE

IT FEELS VERY SIMILAR LOL

there was also a time where this Youtuber musician my husband was really into was selling vinyls, and we managed to snag a copy in the hour that they were available, only for them to start selling SIGNED copies the week after they had sold out of the original prints

it's just an overall "ech" move because it really screws over your audience for paying attention/getting in first, y'know? That's what's such a big deal about being in a fandom, a lot of people like being "first" so to sell something under the precedent that it's "limited edition" just to print more with an even COOLER thing attached feels like such a fuck you. They're literally just trying to gouge more money out of people who have already bought the thing and "need" the exclusive copy.

This just goes to show btw there was nothing stopping her from signing books personally at SDCC. That feels like such a middle finger to the people who paid money to go to and be at SDCC (travel costs AND attendance costs) esp the people who cosplayed as LO characters and were clearly specifically there for Rachel just to be given a stamp and shooed away with zero conversation (as I talked about in a previous post) and then find out later after you've already gone home days later that you can get a PERSONALLY SIGNED AND DOODLED COPY if you go and buy a brand new book in one specific bookstore. That's so lame man, I can't even.

Just to add btw, not related to your ask really, but it really goes in conjunction with it, there was a tweet recently from Rachel advertising some new t-shirts.

But people who bought the shirts reported that they're INCREDIBLY cheaply made and don't look anything like the products listed. You can even see the low ratings on them but when you actually view them-

I do not feel the need to say it any louder for the people in the back, it's being spoken clearly at this point - WT and Rachel are cashing out on what little merit they have left, they do not care.

AND Y'KNOW WHAT I FOUND OUT WHILE WRITING THIS POST ????

THEY CHANGED THE FUCKING THUMBNAIL!!!

THAT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE 2 DAYS AGO, I CHECKED IT MYSELF BACK WHEN IT WAS FIRST POSTED TO REDDIT AND IT WAS THE GREEN VERSION.

THEY'RE LITERALLY CHANGING THE THUMBNAILS AND ADS TO DISCREDIT THE REVIEWS BEING LEFT.

DO NOT FALL FOR IT. BUYER BEWARE.

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #antiloreolympus #anti lore olympus #ama #ask me anything #anon ask me anything #anon ama

[ailuropoda-sims]

 Mariam Roe - Grungy Teen with Werewolf Jeans Genes

A rebellious teen with a penchant for rock music, Mariam loves her father dearly but hates the fact he seems to not see her dream of becoming a musician a worthy goal. Toeing the line between brave and foolhardy, Mariam is stuck between her desire to make her father proud of her and achieving her aspirations of stardom.

My first lookbook ever!! Aaaaaah!!! Mariam’s actually not the first Sim I ever made for my current save, she and her father actually were second. Mariam was made a sort of contrast to the first Sim-who had a more glamorous and upscale fashion sense. Truth be told, she actually has other outfits, haha, but I figured these ones were my favorites of the ones I made! Links to the CC used are down below!

Mariam’s CC: General: Skin Overlay, Cellulite Overlay, Moles, Hairline, Eye Shine, Other Facial Features, Tattoos, Nose Piercing (Discover University), Eyelashes, Blush (M·A·C Collab)

Outfit 1/Everyday: Hair, Earrings, Choker, Eye Shadow (Base Game), Eyeliner, Lip Gloss, Shirt, Shorts, Arm Warmers, Fishnet Top, Nail Polish (Spa Day), Fishnet Tights, Combat Boots

Outfit 2/Formal: Hair, Witch Hat, Earrings, Choker, Eye Shadow, Eyeliner, Lip Gloss, Dress, Undershirt, Ring, Nail Polish (Carnaval Streetwear Kit), Stockings, Boots

Outfit 3/Party: Hair, Backpack (Need confirmation on this one), Necklaces, Eye Shadow, Eyeliner, Lip Gloss, Shirt, Pants, Fishnet Gloves, Ring (TW: Self-Harm), Chipped Nails, Socks (I know you can’t see them but shhh), Shoes

Outfit 4/Hot Weather: Hair, Earrings, Skull Necklace and Ripped Tights, Eye Shadow (Base Game), Eyeliner and Lip Gloss, Shirt, Shorts, Vest, Bracelets, Rings, Chipped Nail Polish, Cowboy Boots

Outfit 5/Cold Weather: Hair, Beanie, Choker-Necklace Combo, Eye Shadow and Lip Gloss, Eyeliner (My Wedding Stories),  Sweater, Jeans, Gloves, Jacket, Chipped Nails, Fishnet Tights, Sneakers

Poses by: @helgatisha, @someone-elsa, @uh0htaj Huuuuge thanks to all the cc creators! (If I forgot to credit anyone, please let me know! Esp. with the poses, I forgot to keep track of those ><;) @aharris00britney @arethabee @christopher067 @cowplant-pizza @crypticsim @dallasgirl79 @daylifesims @dirtsims @emmibouquet @frenchiesimgirl @imvikai @its-adrienpastel @jellymoo @joliebean @kismet-sims @madlensims @marsmerizing-sims @mellosakicc @kijiko-sims  @miikocc @pralinesims @pyxiidis @qicc @rheallsim @serenity-cc @simulationcowboy @sondescent @the-crypt-o-club @trillyke @vanilasimscc @viiavi @wildlyminiaturesandwich @xurbansimsx

#ts4 #sims 4 #the sims 4 #ts4 lookbook #maxis match #maxis mix #sims 4 mm #sims 4 lookbook #TS4: Mariam Roe #TS4: Roe Family #sims 4 cc lookbook #TS4: Ailuropoda Lookbook

[solar-halos]

i’ve skipped so many mood board mondays, so here are a ton of mood boards. they’re all Annie Cresta themed and how i think she’d dress/accessorize in a modern au. this one is gonna be lengthy tho i luv fashion

don’t keep the devil waiting, old friend: queer couture*

comments: this one was the hardest only bc i couldn’t find a lot pics of patchwork jeans + smudged (and ugly in an on-purpose-fuck-beauty-standards type of way) makeup and i feel like that is a fundamental part of annies style in this fic. also shes in hs and i feel like that is the peak of diy-ing things that are ugly but obv pinterest didn’t have much of that. but in the fic she loves red+black color combos and sanrio and also mitski so i included that here. also, had to include a heathers pic. and before anyone says that this doesn’t count as alt pls remember something: i don’t care

* (as in annie is queer in this fic, not that u have to be queer to wear this. just btw)

fond boy with a flower in his heart: lipstick lover*

comments: her style isn’t rlly described that much in the fic but i think it’s very much winx and barbiecore. lipstick lover* to the max. she is also the queen of sporty spice athleisure

*in a “pink panther” by Scene Queen (the musician) way, not a luver of lipstick way. although annie is both in this fic

a deep dive into the mind of annie cresta: man eater couture

credits, first and foremost!

i found the first pic (starting from the top left hand corner) on pinterest. this is the second pic dress pattern. third pic is also pinterest but it gives me johanna and annie vibes. this is the fourth pic (it’s still a tester pattern so i just linked her account!). this is the fifth pic. this is the sixth pic. i found the seventh pic on pinterest. this is the eighth pic. i found the ninth pic on pinterest. this is the tenth pic (can you tell i love madebymolly? lol)

comments: okay, so at first i wanted to focus more on materials like linen bc i think d4 would be more focused on practicality than glam, but as you can tell it’s mostly crochet pieces bc i’ve saved SO many pics that gave me boho beach vibes. but also some outfits (like the green dress!) are outfits i described in the actual fic and then found on instagram later like “wait….. this was literally something i had in my head and they made it into something real.” like how fucking cool is that imagine sewing something from ur own two hands (esp lace!). but also the cheetah (leopard?) print underwear is so annie cresta after she won the games bc i feel like she’d embellish everything she owns like the fashionista she is

miscellaneous: i-t g-i-r-l

ok when i was first pondering abt annie cresta’s style @turtlesandwhales678 put this into the universe and i haven’t been able to stop thinking abt it: vintage styled annie cresta! i know i didn’t do this concept justice bc most of the outfits are condensed to a select few decades but there was an era in my life where i would refuse to post anything on my instagram stories except vintage pictures/photoshoots, so here are some i had in my arsenal that i dug up:

credits!

first pic (top left corner) is from the nanny! love that show u should watch it. i know the second pic looks like an invasion of privacy but i swear it was for a photoshoot in 1969 for life magazine. i found the third pic on pinterest, it’s lisa bonet on “a different world” i believe. the fourth pic is from my instagram stories archive arsenal. same with the fifth pic. this is the sixth pic. seventh pic is from my stories archive. this is the eighth pic

comments: i kinda said everything i needed to at the beginning. the ninth pic is giving me odesta vibes

okay, that’s it! i know this was sooo long but i was scared of uploading it to ao3 cos the last time i did something like that it got taken down. but to be fair it was sorta my fault. anyway this was sooo fun and im in a very big procrastinating mood so i will literally make a mood board out of anything / any other styles. i was thinking abt doing a cottagecore one but i heard that style has racist undertones? idk i haven’t looked into it but i should. anyway bye hope these were pretty

#long post #so long! #annie cresta #mood board monday #fashion #okay everything is a modern au except the deep dive universe one… oops

[i-was-a-teenage-undead]

Zombie Heroes using the internet headcanons: Part 1

Super Brainz:

posts sick selfies EVERYWHERE. types in the style of a 2000s deviantart girl who just first discovered internet. Possibly has a twitter account where all he does is tweet every second about whatever the hell he is doing at the moment. Also gets in arguments with terfs and other shit with the energy of a mom of a lgbt child who still doesn't get much.

Rustbolt:

4chan dweller and redditor. Favourite thing to do is send copypastas and pirate movies. Teaches the other zombie heroes how to pirate, especially Professor Brainstorm. Sits on fucking /b/ imageboard a bit too much. Probably has seen every weird thing on both of these platforms for the past 15 years. Also likes to send pictures of his sick collections of trinkets and knick knacks on subreddits. always types in lowercases. Starts arguments on forums and then watches a shitstorm happening while drinking tea with a happy face

Electric Boogaloo:

Pirates songs directly from mp3 converters but only cuz he doesnt want to support corporal greed. Very loud about supporting indie artists, no matter what genre. Hates AIs and thinks they r taking away the artists' job, hence he scolds Z-Mech and Impfinity so much for using it. uses way too many emojis resulting in unreadable text. Types Like That With Every Sentence. Favourite thing to do is also check sites like thetoptens and get offended if one of his fav musicians r in things like "TOP 10 WORST MUSICIANS" "TOP 10 WORST SINGERS OF ALL TIME" or gets euphoria when someone he hates gets a place.

Professor Brainstorm:

Operates a few ultra scientific and specialist blogs about science. Boogaloo had to help him, though. Doesn't know how to keep up with the trends and always types in formal language. Doesn't get slang and always asks things like "What does "uwu" mean? Is this a new name for UFO?". Doesn't know how to art so all of his blogs look like they were made by 2000s emo girlies. There's a ton of low quality gifs, contrasts and times new roman. Always engaged in internet arguments and breaks down the simpliest things into weirdly scientific analysis. Which leaves the others think he's joking, when he's not.

Immorticia:

Has a MySpace and Pinterest and that's all she has. Nothing else. Pinterest is full of goth outfits, witchcraft and cute bats/bat memes. MySpace's song is Spellbound by Siouxsie and the Banshees. Takes creepy internet chains seriously and ends up casting "spells preventing from them happening". Also runs a blog where she posts magic tutorials. No one takes them seriously though, but they like it when she posts photos of her bats. Also plays old MMORPG, esp Wizard101. Probably would also make gameplays of fantasy games where she points out every "magical inaccuracy".

#pvz #pvz heroes #graveyard talk shift #plants vs zombies

[twig-tea]

5 Songs Tag - QL Shows Edition

Created by @troubled-mind (see the original chart-like list and the first 5 QL Song Tag entry). The rules:

When you get this, list 5 songs from Asian QL shows that you actually listen to. 🎶They do not have to be custom-made for the series. 🎶Non-western tracks only. Let's support Asian music and languages! 🎶Feel free to tag anyone who may be interested in participating. 🎶Add #5qls tag to your post for others to find the new favourites!

Note: I'm going to play by the original rules that the show had to introduce you to the song, because otherwise I would not be able to narrow this down. Also, to everyone who already went so that I could narrow down my list, you're all doing God's work and have great taste (esp. to @lurkingshan, all five of her songs were on my shortlist; @bengiyo for his selections from About Youth, Like in the Movies, and Gameboys 2 (all five were excellent songs but those three were on my shortlist; and @absolutebl's top 10 OSTs listing songs from Wish You and To My Star which helped me let go of including them too!). I went with one song per country to help me choose, and it was a very fun agony. Here we go!

Silly Fools - วัดใจ [wad jai / measure your willingness (i.e. test your heart)] (Theory of Love; Thailand, YouTube)

I debated on the Thai song for so long but this is the song that started my obsession with Thai rock; Khai and Third rock out to this in the car as a moment of nostalgia for them and I sat up and took notice because it reminded me of 90s alt rock from my own youth; that scene is such a perfect encapsulation of what that felt like and it tied that feeling to this song for me. And the lyrics are also great as a hype song; they're all about how the singer isn't going to give up in the face of any obstacle or hate. Every time I hear it I think about sitting in the car yelling with my friends (even though we did that to Alanis Morisette and not Thai rock music, the feeling is universal). Even though I'd been watching Thai shows for a couple of years by that point, and had some OSTs on my playlist, this song inspired me to branch out into finding more Thai music and it's now been the genre I listen to the most for the past few years.

Đỗ Hoàng Dương, Cody - Không Yêu Cũng Chẳng Cô Đơn [Neither Love Nor Loneliness] (You Are Ma Boy, Vietnam, YouTube)

These two are musicians first and actors second, which is probably why the OST is so good. Cody is part of Uni5, and Đỗ Hoàng Dương is a solo artist. Large reason why this is on here is because I like Cody's rap so much. The lyrics are translated in this video so I don't need to paraphrase, but essentially they're about how love in youth is a lot of feelings, so let's just be together and love one another.

Shania Ann Bajen - Once You're Mine (Filippines, Win Jaime's Heart, YouTube)

Taking advantage of the change in rules from the original post to post a song in English because it's my favourite by this artist. Shania Ann's voice is mesmerizing, when this song appeared in the show I went searching for it and was so happy when they finally posted it to Spotify. This is what she said about her song:

This song is my original composition. 💕 It's about our loved ones, whether it'd be family, friends, or significant other, that we lost in our journey but never failed in making us feel loved and accepted despite our imperfections 🥺 Hope you all like it!

周予天 / Alex Chou - 分手放手 [Fengshou fangshou / Hard to Let Go] (We Best Love: No. 1 for You, Taiwan, WeTV)

The lyrics to this one are so painful in the context of the end of season 1 and the time-skip. They're translated in the video above, but essentially it's about breaking up and letting go when you don't actually want to. I really went back and forth with this one and Ray / 黃霆睿 - 我們 [Wo men / Us] from the Miracle book trailer, hilariously both for Lin Pei You vehicles, but finally decided that this song just hits harder (you didn't notice me sneaking a second rec in there nope).

センチミリメンタル / Centimillimental - 冬のはなし [Fuyu no Hanashi / Winter Story] (Given (anime), Japan, WeTV / CrunchyRoll)

This is either a really obvious answer or a polarizing answer depending on how you felt about the Given adapatation, but IDC it's on my list because I love Centimillimental and can't listen to it without getting shivers. I saw this anime and burst into tears the first time I heard the bridge. I used the official version for each of these links so that creators get views, but I have to also shout out my favourite version of this song, with Centimillimental (the guy who wrote the whole soundtrack for the anime and the movie) and Shogo Yano (who voiced Mafuyu in the anime) performing together. If you haven't seen the show, the lyrics are about having a love one torn away from you and struggling to let yourself move on. I had a hard time between this and the main song from the movie (僕らだけの主題歌 [bokura dake no shudaika / Our Theme Song]) but this is the one that hits me hardest.

BONUS(es) (don't judge me):

樹林座 [Shulinzuo / Grove ] - 水火 [Shui Huo / Fire and Water] (The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty, China, YouTube)

This song was as far as I can tell written for the series and it punches me in the gut every time. I don't know what it is about this song? It has me in a chokehold. It's basically about fighting for justice against an unjust world and how it's possible even if it seems to not be. It's also just a banger. Something about the irony of them using a very modern-sounding song for a historical drama tickles me (electronic rhythm sounds? electric guitar? For 15th century China? Love it). Put in the bonus round because the show is censored bromance.

Spencer Geronimo - Magkaibang Mundo [Different worlds] (Lakan, Filippines, YouTube)

Rest in Peace to the actor Kennedy Nakar who costarred in Lakan and who just died (on July 25, 2023) of Leukemia; He was 24. Kennedy and his partner Paul Cervantes were an out gay couple and starred in this series together, and were supposed to also star in Turbulence. This song is all about fighting for a love that people think is wrong, against the odds, and wondering how long you'll have to fight and wait to be together. In that context, it becomes even more heartbreaking. Since this song was in my favourites, I could not skip the chance to give their work some love.

Tagging @callipigio @pandasmagorica @formayhem @dribs-and-drabbles @redxblueihateloveyou no pressure but if y'all feel like it!

#5qls #tag game #theory of love #you are ma boy #win jaime's heart #we best love #given anime #the sleuth of ming dynasty #lakan

[barmans-fault]

You made a good point of how this staged photoshoot will lead to increased exposure and ticket sales esp ahead of the US tour, because correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think all their US dates are sold out? They’re not as popular in the states and it’s been a couple months since I checked but I only saw a handful of shows that showed sold out. All this just reminds us of a curated version we have of him. Someone who likes privacy and wants to be lowkey doesn’t date attention seekers consistently and calls the paps on themselves. He just lost all credibility he had

Words of wisdom here from a lovely anon and thank you for sharing these thoughts, i agree with every word 💘

I think people generally get very caught up in the whole "alex is a romantic little prince too busy with his mind on clever lines he's innocent and private and not like other celebs and his privacy has been violated" narrative and tend to forget how much of a business this whole thing is.

The primary purpose of any business, be that show business or not, is to make money. The band is an asset that needs to generate revenue. American market has huge potential for that, alas, as the anon above correctly pointed out, very few of the US shows are sold out at this point, just a month ahead of the tour and the sales need to be boosted. The best strategy would definitely be to hype it up a little. American audience seems to be really into the whole straight dominant greaser bad boy persona (where do you think all those endless alex/your name fics with that shitty 50 shades of grey vibes come from?) and the target audience must be catered for. Both parties benefit: Alex gets the publicity of a cool rockstar kind of tired of his fame with a beautiful gf by his side on an expensive posh Italian resort. The pictures will now be all over insta/twitter/tiktok igniting interest in new fans and rekindling the old ones. The girls will fantasise about taking Louise's place in his arms (oh to be a girlfriend of this rich handsome millionaire musician who is also intelligent and talented and famous and who will fuck you like a whore then treat you like a princess!) and the boys will be jealous of him and his beautiful French girlfriend, wanting to be like him (oh to be this rich handsome millionaire and get all the girls!). Some more tickets will be sold, some more records, some more merch, and a couple of tens (or hundreds) of thousands of dollars will be made. Louise on the other hand, will get more followers and will have more ads, which will also lead to more revenue for her and hence whoever is managing her. Not bad, no?

Alex is usually perceived as a poet with his head in the clouds, an ethereal creature, a poetic and storytelling genius, vulnerable, autistic woodland creature, too exquisite for earthly problems, fragile and defenseless. He is, however, in no way disconnected from reality or too naive not to know how the business works - after all, he's been in it for almost twenty years. And I am supposed to believe his privacy has been violated when it has hardly been violated for the 5 years he was hiding from everyone and no paparazzi whatsoever gave a fuck about him? Oh give me a break. His net worth is estimated to be millions of dollars, same as the band. He is one of the richest rock stars of the generation. I am not saying it is a bad thing - well deserved, he is a genius after all, - but money, even for geniuses, has to be earned. Their music is a product that needs to be sold, and their public image is one of the means to increase those sales.

I do not think that Alex or Louise called the paps themselves last minute - I am pretty sure the whole thing has been set up by the management in advance, with Alex's explicit consent. Again, it is just a marketing strategy which the sales and marketing department decided to go with in order to maximise the revenue. Why would Alex refuse? And please spare me the argument of 'he doesn't need any more money'. Maybe he doesn't (although i am not sure), but the band and the whole machine working for them definitely does as it employs hundreds of people who need to get their paychecks from this whole thing. Mr. Schwarz is staying strong for them, remember?

Once this is all over, the tour is over, the contracts are done and he disappears without a trace, we'll remember this and count how many times paps will ever try to take pictures of him or his gf (zero, mark my words).

Thank you for coming to my ted talk (or thesis defence, more like)♥️

#alexander i am really disappointed with you #you really did lose all your credibility #i am pretty sure your team could have done better than this #such a lazy and half arsed approach #but whatever works for you and your bank account mate

[rpfisfine]

do you hate miles?🤨

i was wondering when someone would send me an ask like this yeah i dont like him to be honest. i know ppl on here have largely moved on from the fateful 2016 interview and it has been discussed to death and yeah he immediately said he was joking etc etc but i dont think its weird to think you shouldnt have to feel pressured to like completely forgive and forget and absolve the sins of a male musician saying something that made a female reporter feel unsafe or objectified or 'caught in an increasingly distressing situation' or act like its some sort of unheard of and unimaginable offense that has never happened before in the history of music interviews and one someone’s favorite musician who can do no wrong in their eyes could definitely never get caught up in (esp given how gross in general the music industry is towards women). OR even go so far to say the reporter did it all for attention i cant believe this is even a discussion that has ever been had in any form ever like genuinely nothing makes me angrier than ppl who literally turn into blatant sexists whenever their favorite white guy's reputation is even mildly put at risk ive literally seen one person on here say the whole interview was made up and exaggerated and that she just wanted to 'join the me too movement' which is like Okay man i think you might just not have any respect for women in real life maybe. even watered down and not as extreme its a take thats more prevalent on am tumblr than i thought or previously imagined and i hate how bad it makes the fandom look like i trust that everyone on here is a reasonably intelligent and empathetic human being who has at least a basic tumblr education on the fact that victim blaming is bad so we dont rly need to turn around and immediately go 'she just misunderstood what he was saying' or 'she just didnt get his sense of humor' like Alright

i hope im articulating all this reasonably well like i think its literally fine that ppl have accepted his apology and moved on and are able to enjoy him as an artist and/or as a person too thats awesome and im happy for the ppl that i follow that have this kind of relationship with him. even if it wasnt for the interview thing he stil wouldnt be for me i used to be a pretty big fan of his music when i was younger but nowadays since ive found different music i dont rly pay any attention to him. im glad he was able to spark alex creatively but thats as far as my enjoyment goes of him to be yonest

also ive just realized now that all this makes me look kind of contrived given the fact that ive written milex before and i dont rly have like an impenetrable explanation i literally started writing for jamex around the time the car album came out bc i found out all my fav jamex fics had gotten deleted by their author so i wanted to fill the void and then one day i was like wait am i good enough yet to write a functional milex fic (plus i was hoping to get more ppl to notice my writing and milex offers a pretty easy way to do that) so then i wrote 2 and i was like ok i am cool. i dont intend to write another fic for them

hope this makes sense i probably forgor to say like 10 other things i wanted to say but thats okay

#i didnt rly wanna talk abt this but now i cant dodge it anymore i trust my friends respect my opinion and arent mad at me #also wanted to make a disclaimer that ive never set foot on am twitter so my opinion isnt influenced by amtwt at all #i know ppl dont like miles on there but i have genuinely no clue how they go abt it or what they say im not brave enough to make an account #there. #asks #Pleasneeeeeee dont harrass me over this im literally just doing my thang over here in the czech republic #also ive literally had that one shitty take screenshotted since like november of last year LOL it made me soooooooo mad

[fullmusicbardsquared]

I can't really understand poetry. My brain just doesn't grasp the emotions and connections I need to get it. To like it. So I went to an annual thing called the universe in verse today, with musicians and artists reading poems about..yeah, science, and revealing hidden stories. It was about the eclipse, you may guess. I don't know how to communicate the way it made me feel. Everything was very beautiful - stephon alexander's sandhill crane improv, a poem about the passenger pigeons & humanity's belief it'll live forever, the hole at the Milky way center, david byrne's particle fever (don't laugh, I didn't know he would be there), the hymn of other poems about eclipses. and the essay last week in English class, the transportation to the Euphrates. And i sit here on my phone trying to sum up the experience to remember in the future, and there's nothing. it's in front of my thoughts, and if you will allow a brief attempt at the poetry, the emotion i felt there- it was like the speech on sleeping beauties, scientific ideas that are created, buried, remade. but i guess, with esp, there will be no one to remake refilter my thoughts, my feelings. I can only say that when it was going on i didn't see anything but the people speaking, and after, i could only look up and watch the evening gradient.

#talking in my head

[this-daydream-is-dangerous-13]

What is Harry trying to protect her from though?

Oh besties - do the images from last night make you feel terrible for Blondie? Buckle up: it’s giving (a portion of the) December 2012 vibes.

The Haylor relationship public-facing hard launch takes place in Central Park during the world’s most chaste first date on Dec. 2nd. And the almost immediate reaction involves:

- fans (and invasive paps) staking out both their hotels as neither has a residence in NYC at this point. Also attempting to follow them.

- accusations that “it is all for PR” (?!? They’re about to be relentlessly followed after sneaking around for months. Like they would want MORE publicity) and “Taylor’s got another one to eventually write break up songs about”

- even grosser accusations about Harry’s penchant for older women. But even worse? Hints that Taylor is almost a statutory r*pist because she keeps dating 18 year olds. This view is so commonplace that when Amy Poehler and Tina Fey take a shot at Taylor in the Jan 2013 Golden Globes (warning her to stay away from Michael J Fox’s 18 yo son), it’s met with a collective shrug.

They are such a total heatscore. And MSG after party leaks (she gets accused of crashing the party uninvited, lol) and the “Harry stays over in her hotel room, and then brings his *whole brown duffel bag*, effectively moving in to hers” meant many, many eyes were on them. Including those of displeased 1D fans.

And oooof. Earlier in the year, right before he turned 18, Harry was linked to then 31-year-old X Factor presenter Caroline Flack, and the 1D fans? Were relentlessly cruel online and sent death threats. Things online were also awful for model Emily who kissed him in a doorway in Australia in April.

During 2012, especially the late spring/summer/fall, 1D became global sensations and their fan numbers swelled. Harry was wildly popular, and was one of the “single boys”.

So seeing him dating an “older, American heartbreaker of a musician who was famous for writing break up songs” was NOT popular with H*rries, especially the L*rries. And they made their displeasure known.

And he had near constant career obligations on another continent, 8 time zones away, and a punishing touring schedule looming (as did she).

And H must have *hated* that, the way he could not protect her from the cruelty or physically be there often. He talked a lot about his desire to protect those he loves (esp the women). He probably felt really guilty.

But I think the paparazzi pressure and media scrutiny was hardest for them. Taylor tells us:

And

And

While Harry also uses hunting imagery and speaks of its inevitability:

They find ways to manage,

But ultimately, it was maybe too much. Taylor? Not so into a gold rush:

It was a LOT.

So that is what he wanted to protect her from. The pressure, the scrutiny, the cruelty of fans, the invasion of paps.

[jasntodds]

I'm new to your blog hiii 😊 This is cuz of your music fic post, this is not me requesting I just simply must gush about this because I love music and there are some musicians imo that just hit so right with Jason (*cough* Matt Maeson)

Anyways here's some songs that I think have serious tremors of Jason Todd running through them 🎵 ❤

🎵Halestorm: Back from the Dead (this one is self explanatory lol)

🎵The Pretty Reckless: Got so High/ Standing at the Wall (side note~their latest album Death By Rock N Roll is so good and so sad)

🎵Eminem: Drug Ballad/ Never Love Again (don't worry these are milder Em lyrics cuz we all know some of his word choices are vomit inducing but these are basically simultaneously love songs to the drugs but also a cautionary tale against them)

🎵Avril Lavigne: Fall to Pieces/ Nobody's Home (I just think they fit for Jason esp nobody's home)

🎵 Matt Maeson: Dancing After Death/ The Hearse/ Tread on Me/ Go Easy/ Cringe/ Me and My Friends Are Lonely/ Mr. Rattlebone/ Grave Digger

(I motherfucking love this man's music 😢💘 lyrically mostly everything describes Jason. I LOVE the line in Me and My Friends Are Lonely "The city breathes when I do not" > that is so Gotham and Jason and Gotham and Robin and Gotham and Redhood. In Mr. Rattlebone the lyrics "I am the driver. I am the shadow. I am the hearse" welp 😢🙃 The opening of Grave Digger oh my days "I can't run to you Father, I need love". Anyway I'm gonna shush now because I am getting carried away lol but hope you don't me spaming you with all this

Hey!! Uh, I love this???? lmao I love hearing songs that relate to my favorite characters!! I definitely made a playlist here with all of these songs and I'm gonna add to it for songs that just scream Jason dkfhgdf I will be 100% listening to all of these and I actually really enjoy Matt Maeson's voice so that's so perfect??????

I'm so sorry but this is me reading "The city breathes when I do not."

Look, ANYTHING relating to daddy issues screams Jason to me and I nearly lose my fucking mind every single time. It reminds me of that one quote that's like "Growing up and seeing your parents' flaws is like losing your religion. I don't believe in God. I don't believe in my father either." This will be the first song I listen to omg

You can always come and ramble to me about music and/or Jason I love all types of music and I love Jason so I am always here lmao

And since you gave me some awesome recs, I'm gonna give you a few fkghfd:

Left Behind by The Plot In You. Look, it is one of my FAVORITE songs (is it my most played of the year?? Probably lmao it's in my top most played of all time and it came out in Feb lmao and I know I clocked over 60k minutes of music this year). But, when I listen to it, I relate it to Jason and Bruce's dynamic with lines like "Just know, all the sacrifice had robbed me of my time" and "I left behind, everything you killed inside" Landon screaming the lyrics makes me wanna CRY you can hear the pain in his voice and that's just very Jason Todd to me lmao

Deep End by I Prevail. It's such a good song?????? (I used in a fanedit and they liked it on TikTok) but my mom knows every word because she has to deal with me and brother playing it lmao but the WHOLE chorus is super Jason coded "So I made friends with all my demons. Let 'em sink their teeth in. Got used to the feeling of letting it go. So give me something to believe in or throw me in the deep end. It all feels the same with your eyes closed. So you can throw me in the deep end."

And Hollow - Lo's Version by Lo Spirit. I found him on TikTok (I swear I am not on that often??) and he's an INCREDIBLE vocalist. But this song is his best imo (followed by Good Enough and Wild Things (my beloved)) but this song is perfect for Jason. I mean, in Titans, he literally says there's a poison in him. It's perfect!! "Maybe somethings wrong with me. Maybe I was meant to sit and wait." and "Why do I, why do I feel so hollow? Hollow, hollow. Try to hide from my mind, but it follows."

#achromaticerebus #alex answers #sharing music and talking about jason are amongst my favorite things lmao #long post

[septembersghost]

You are so right when you said tay impacted him in ways he doesn't even realise. Like not only did harry fall in love with her as a person he admired her as an artist. His childhood friend once said h had crush on her after watching 'love story's mv. Knowing he was a music nerd he might've grown up being wonderstruck by her artistry especially after SN.(i cant see hum not appreciating SN esp after knowing she wrote it alone)Then he became part of her world. He saw the behind the scenes of red and 1989 (and maybe beginning of whatever became rep because I lowkey think she wrote atleast something about their fwb(there is a theory of TIWYCF that doesn't strike to me as a CH song) but decided to prioritize her joe songs). He saw her making music out of missing HIM and HIM coming back and falling in love with HIM. I do think at some point he also thought 'what a mind'. Every time he spoke about her artistry he made sure he said 'she's good at it'. I think it also gave Taylor a confidence boost because her previous boyfriend said 'don't write about me' and definitely didn't respect her as a person let alone artist. She also taught him atleast a little about playing guitar and introduced him to a lot of music(sweet disposition). So while the flame had gone out the smoke lingers(stealing your words) through his(and hers) song.

not only did harry fall in love with her as a person he admired her as an artist. right, and in a way the artistic admiration is what's still very present. the relationship fell apart, but that never has. h having a crush on her as a musician before he knew her as a person makes total sense. their respective experiences and dealings with fame then ended up aligning in a particular way where it also made sense that they'd gravitate towards each other and have some understanding and common ground. he's one of the few people who'd even be able to comprehend what that was like for her. i think part of why the gp writes them off as not being that impactful is because most people don't realize how long that situation was ongoing, that it wasn't only a handful of months, but spanned a few years off and on. he was there when red was being written, he was present for at least a bit of its creation, and we know she shared 1989 with him in full before its release. that's why i mentioned she helped teach him about approaching songwriting (and playing guitar, that initially was taylor and niall for him afaik!), plus sharing music together (that winding wheel tweet...). that influence is immediately clear even on midnight memories, and i think he internalized and absorbed it to the point where it's intrinsic now rather than intentional. that was a very formative time in both of their lives, what would be college ages for other people, and it seems they learned quite a bit from one another respectively, as artists and in navigating the press and in what they actually wanted from relationships (even if they never managed to align it). i've never seen that theory about tiwycf, i don't think? but the idea of it linking back to h amuses me since that would doubtless have made crouton livid (he really had such a chip on his shoulder about h). that feeling of falling apart and falling back together weaves in and out of both of their music that they composed about it. ("him" was also...revealing.) i have no doubt he admired her mind, and continues to. no one she'd previously been with had valued her talent and passion in that way, as we know (not only jg, jm OPENLY insulted her, called her songwriting "cheap"), she had been belittled and disrespected so often, and certainly h wasn't perfect (nor was she, it's okay, they're humans and people are flawed and complicated!), but there's no doubt that he valued her skill as an artist beyond being in love with her.

also when i mentioned 1989 isn't as vulnerable outside of this love and clean (and yail), sometimes i feel like even me saying that isn't entirely fair (i have a message, maybe from you! about wonderland in here somewhere that i agree with, i'll have to find it), even though she was trying hard to curate and polish and seem perfect and less attached, there tends to be a knife-edge of emotion in a number of the songs, where if they were stripped back and played acoustically (like her grammy museum performance), that would hit differently. why'd you have to go and lock me out when i let you in?/i wish you knew that i'd never forget you as long as i live/we were lying on your couch, i remember; you took a polaroid of us, then discovered, the rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming color/you know for me, it's always you...in the dead of night, your eyes so green...and i know for you, it's always me. it's a different dynamic than what she detailed on red, obviously, not nearly as shattered. but the very real feeling is still there.

while the flame had gone out the smoke lingers - it does, and it's the most interesting thing about that in many ways, and why those songs continue to converse with one another and move us the way they do. the situation ended, but the music lasts.

#anonymous #letterbox #haylor

[kimtaegis]

i relate to the anon who said they have the opposite of fomo

for me bangtan is the main reason i keep going on and wake up in the morning, so you'd expect me to be on top of everything and go back to catch up on missed content but honestly i dont. im the same as anon lol, i only watch their wlives live, otherwise the most ill do is read translations on twitter later.

if i get free time, i go back and watch behind the scenes, variety shows and ot7 lives (im a may 2022 army, theres a LOT i have yet to watch) but thats it

i think its easy to forget that we're firstly fans of *musicians*, and a lot of recent content is their non music related stuff, so i think its ok if we're not as caught up on that (and i think its esp funny coming from me, who decided to check out their music after watching compilation clips on yt 😭 i was praying id enjoy their music bc i rlly wanted to be a fan 😭)

it doesnt mean i love the boys any less, so im not worried about that, but i do think its bc we're so stressed out / burnt out in our daily lives that at the end of the day, we dont have much energy left to properly enjoy things, which is concerning :(

I don’t think I have much to add! you made good points in the last two paragraphs. just one thing: “…so I think it’s ok if we’re not as caught up on that…” – it’s literally also okay to not be caught up with their music content. there’re so many things that can get in the way of being up to date all the time. let’s not forget it’s a hobby and not a chore to enjoy music and other content, it’s shouldn’t make you feel pressured or like you’ll get scolded when you can’t listen or watch on the day it’s released or even miss out on it entirely.

I hope discovering all the content that is still new to you at your own pace is lots of fun to you!! 🤍

#anon #annie’s mail

[virtualmemoriespodcast]

Episode 577 - Scott Guild

With his fantastic debut novel, PLASTIC (Pantheon), Scott Guild brings us a dystopian future of eco-terrorism, meta-reality, and . . . a world populated by plastic figurines who break out in song? We talk about the 10-year process of writing the book, how he found the stylistic elements that made it work, and why making the lead characters plastic let him bring comedy into his apocalyptic vision of the future. We get into Scott's history as a musician and how songwriting differs from fiction, the album he made (with all sorts of great artists) to accompany the novel, why he'd love to do live performances of it, and how the songs changed genre from the ones in the novel. We also discuss his writing influences, esp. Kafka & Plath, why he dedicated PLASTIC to his high school English teacher, how he accidentally created his own Barbenheimer (the Barbie movie created a conceptual entry point for readers, but the characters are under the Oppenheimer-esque shadow of a nuclear war), why he didn't show his novel to his wife until 3-4 months before their wedding, whether he played with dolls as a kid (spolier: we both did), who wins in the Dostoevsky-Tolstoy Steel Cage Match, and a lot more. Follow Scott on Twitter and Instagram • More info at our site • Support The Virtual Memories Show via Patreon or Paypal and via our e-newsletter

Check out the new episode of The Virtual Memories Show

#podcast #books

[deada55]

"Mandy's Intro" from Being There

for kloktober day 9: inspired by Dethalbum IV ("Mutilation on a Saturday Night"

This is a WIP for a future chapter of this fic, where we figure out how Nathan made his way out of his parents' house to start his life as a struggling gig musician with whale ESP.

tws: puke mention, nausea

Harry's house stayed a hotbed for parties since his mom's sister had this horrible accident that melted her hands off (something about the cleaning chemicals at the bar where she worked and the deep fryer.) His mom and dad went to Leesburg every other weekend to take care of her and her six or seven kids, leaving Harry’s house empty and free for raging in twice a month. Today, he'd gotten someone to bring their subwoofers, and someone else brought a keg, so everyone in their high school who went out and half of the neighboring counties’ stock of underage drunk dudes came out to play beer pong and shout over each other.

When Nathan had gotten there, most of the team was standing around the kitchen island trying to gather up people for shots, but Chris saw him first and pulled him over for a "shot" that was a double or a triple of white rum in a solo cup with some girl’s lip gloss on the rim. And he wasn't a pussy. He took it with them, played a couple games, made a couple shots, and returned to the "bar" to empty out a bag of ruffles. Hopefully, it sat better than dinner had, but he'd had this migraine for a day, and it wasn't going anywhere.

The noise in the room made it feel better in a weird way: he had something else to think about, even though the little party strobe light in the corner with the princess stickers on it was painfully blue in his peripheral vision.

He overheard a conversation between Brendan and Brandon, who'd played on the team with him all four years: Christ got into Alabama on a scholarsip. Just when he'd turned to go stand against a different wall, he got roped into a conversation about greek life that was more about looking at the person who was talking than trying to understand anything of what he said. Jack was probably just full of shit anyway. He liked to impress people like that from time to time, even though it was his cousin who was going to college in South Carolina, and it was him who fucked his ankle up practicing some of the sorriest, limpest field goals ever attempted. He might be right, but he might not be, and that's how it went half the time with Jack.

He turned to Nathan and hooted. "Me, I'm applying in the spring. Hey, what are you gonna do when you graduate, huh? Get a job?"

"Yeah." Not really. Waiting tables relied on your memory. Driving a forklift at the factory wasn’t safe when he still had migraines bad enough to make you see stars out of nowhere. He didn't really want to work for his own dad after all, but if it really got down to the wire, he could. Maybe. Until he ran him over with a forklift or something. Then he’d be shit out of luck and a dad.

He'd been in a couple bands since Junior year, and he could try and do gig work, but that wasn't a way he could support himself alone, was it? Even fast food sounded like a bad idea. Jobs worked like credit scores, right? The more that kick you out, the less likely you are to get one, right?

High school felt like one big fix. By the time he stopped worrying about puberty making him a funhouse-mirror version of a man, with gangly arms and bad skin– By the time he was adult enough to accept it, he was dreading "growing up." Every May, every "last" football game, every birthday was just taking him closer and closer to not knowing how to answer everyone’s questions about what he’d grow up to be.

And now that he'd ended up ruining their chances at states by getting a concussion just when they had the game in the bag, he felt too sorry for all his teammates to hope that they'd forgotten what he did. Even if they acted nice enough tp his face, what did they think then? Huh!

Every morning, he woke up in his room while everyone else was in class and laid there to keep the pain in the very middle of his face as plain pain, not whatever the doctors called "an aura", or the reflex to puke hard enough to burst blood vessels in your eyes, not like getting drunk or eating shit at Epcot all day and letting that shit go on Abraham Lincoln or whoever. What kind of fucking life was that? Going to school was his only job, and he sucked at it.

It would end someday, someday soon. Right?

He drifted off to another wall, the one by the staircase, and a girl with two french braids stood too close to him on his left. On her tiptoes, she tried to bring herself closer to his ear.

"You're Nathan, right?"

"Yeah."

"I hear you give pretty good head."

"Yeah?"

He kept his face still. Rolling his eyes at her wouldn't do much of anything, and on second look, he was pretty sure she was a softballer from Enceeiyesse High School, and with biceps like that she should be pitching. Not all the pitchers were lesbians–

"What about it?"

"Uh... Me too." She stood back and made a little pose with her shoulder pressed to the wallpaper, bending over the chair rail. Her bright white makeup set off her eyes, glowing in the dark like a dog's. A cute dog. She had pretty, round, light brown eyes that she flickered from his belt up, doing a couple complete scans while she flicked her braid over her shoulder and pretended to look for her friends.

He leaned down closer to her ear to see how serious she was.

"Wanna fuck?"

"You got a condom?"

Usually he’d lie, but Romy already got that volleyball girl pregnant… and by now she’d be due in April. Something like that. The fear was renewed among all the football players.

"Yeah." And he did always keep ‘em, throwing out the old ones from his wallet the minute the package looked rubbed.

Her arms wrapped around his waist, closing the couple inches between them, and that's how he ended up on Harry's parents’ bed with this girl, so nauseous he could taste it, he could fucking taste it no matter how hot she was or how she mewled when he touched her and how soft the inside of her mouth was on his thumb. While she brushed her lips over his, every single memory around how to be a person scrambled to assemble into a coherent whole…

#my writing #kloktober2023 #metalocalypse fanfic #nathan explosion