#enjoy my exhausted rambles after 12 hours of driving

[mira--mira]

Madara and Hashirama for the ask meme 👀

Hashirama

What I love about them:

I really love Hashirama's stubborn optimism. I say "stubborn" here bc I think after a certain point of pain in misery in someone's everyday life, in some way it is a choice to remain optimistic despite that suffering. I don't characterize Hashirama as constantly happy and he can recognize the more realistic/pessimistic possibilities, he just refuses to accept them. I have it in my notes for OoT but haven't worked it in verbatim but Madara would call him "ruthlessly optimistic " and while that's tinged with Madara's own bias, I think it fits quite well.

What I hate about them:

Hashirama is stubbornly optimistic LOL. It's a double-edged sword and I think by the time he reached adulthood in a canon setting, Hashirama was so desperate for there to be peace he maintained his "everything will work out" attitude when he otherwise shouldn't have. There were the concerns with Madara and the Uchiha, his own brothers views that he certainly should have recognized could become a problem, and, after depending on when Tobirama took on students/how old they were, the possibility of biases being passed down and a Danzo like figure coming to power. However this was not Hashirama's responsibility alone to fix. I don't think, despite his love, Hashirama alone could have kept Madara in a village that hated him and a clan that distrusted him. Tobirama was an adult and let his own bias pass under a veil of "logic" and passed that, either intentionally or unintentionally down to his students. None of this is Hashirama's fault, but I think part of the canon story being a tragedy was he was blinded by a bright, hopeful future that he failed to see the early signs right in front of him.

Favorite Moment/Quote:

"To me, Madara was like a gift from the divine."

Even thinking about it makes me melt. It's so sweet and really emphasizes how much Madara means to him. 🥺

What I would like to see more focus on:

In fics? Hashirama's mental health and how his childhood affected him. Most of the long fics I've read focus on Madara. Which I understand, Madara has an arc into becoming a villain while Hashirama is just kinda "there" and it's easy for him to fulfill a support role to helping Madara in canon Au fics. A sort of unshakeable, always optimistic stone for Madara to depend on and stop his downward spiral into villainy. But, what makes hashimada so great for me is that Madara and Hashirama are equals. There will be times one falters and needs to depend on the other, and they're capable of giving each other that support. It'd also be great to see Hashirama struggle yet continue to choose optimism and compassion time after time because that feels more weighty and important than an eternally optimistic characterization that never wavers.

Headcanon wise...this isn't something I've found but desperately want to see (and will come up in all of my own aus) is the connection between the god tree and the god of shinobi who's famed ninjutsu is wood release and who's cells can be used for everything under the sun and are specifically needed to control the gedo statue / ten-tails. 👀 Look when I got back into Naruto and only vaguely knew about the war arc plot I thought Kishimoto was Doing Something with that. He was not. I am.

What I would like to see less focus on:

This is pretty much mentioned above but Hashirama as mainly a support for Madara rather than getting his own (non romantic) arcs in long canon Au fics. Headcanon wise, this is such a small nitpick, but Hashirama constantly being the one described as warm whereas Madara is cold. The big tree can *retain* heat, but he pales in comparison to Madara's ability to *generate* heat.

Favorite pairing with:

Hashimada (Hashirama x Madara)

No one should be surprised. I can wax prose about this for days but it's about ultimately finding someone else in a terrible world that *understands* you that you can grow with and support. I'm a sucker for friends to lovers and battle couples so guess what's right up my alley?

Favorite friendship:

Canon/BoaF- Hashirama & Mito

I know Madara & Mito is more popular, and I do love their dynamic but christ Hashirama needs friends outside Madara and Tobirama and I think they'd be good friends. Canon!Mito would provide a good level-headed perspective and wouldn't have the messy, complicated history like the three founders have together and it'd be good for Hashirama to get a break from that. BoaF!Mito and Hashirama are cousins their relationship eventually progresses to a sibling-like bond. They’re quite protective of each other and gossip endlessly together. Mito’s not as good as gardening, but they do it together and incorporate Uzumaki sealing techniques for certain houseplant decorations. Mito also might know about Madara 👀 

OoT-Hashirama & Sakura or Hashirama & Sai

His and Sakura's relationship is p similar to how I would characterize his and Mito's but with the added hilarity of Sakura being his "student" yet having 0 deference for him once they actually get to the "teaching" part (surprise: Hashirama's most uttered lines are "you do the thing, you know the thing, you know you just...do it. The thing. Madara "translates" a lot of their sessions.) Hashirama and Sai antagonize each other constantly and he *will* tease Sai into oblivion as any older brother would. Tobirama never reacted to Hashirama's mischief in ~fun~ ways and he felt bad about messing with Itama, who was even more emotional than he was and Kawarama, who hero-worshipped him. Sai is the perfect "if anyone messes with you I will personally make them regret being born yet *I* will tease you mercilessly to my hearts content" kind of little brother.

NOTP:

Hashitobi (Hashirama x Tobirama)

I don't do incest. At all. Even "non-incest" aus where they aren't technically related squick me out.

Favorite headcanon:

Hashirama can Speak to the trees.

Either humorously or seriously, I love this kinda, sorta, maybe not quite human power.

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Madara

What I love about them:

Madara is kind and does his best to do what he thinks is right. The “kind” point is a lot of Hashirama talking/flashbacks and the “good” intention behind the Infinite Tsukuyomi. Making everyone a “winner” in the dreamworld, while absolutely insane and full of holes, is odd for a villain’s motivation. His role in the war arc is mostly focused on watching him wreck absolutely everyone he comes into contact with but I love Hashirama’s flashbacks and the glimpses of kid!Madara we get. Madara believed in his philosophy from a lifetime of pain that ended in him losing everything and being manipulated but he was still seeking a way to “help” the most people he could. He’s such a rich character that makes it easy to want to imagine other what-if scenarios where things turned out just a bit differently.

What I hate about them:

Madara takes all responsibility onto himself. This is more speculation because we don’t get Madara’s POV of his childhood or any significant scenes with the clan. However, I think this is one of the primary roots of most of Madara’s problems. If he blamed himself for mistakes that weren’t technically his, he could get into a cycle where he only blames himself and doesn’t seek help/support when he should have and purposefully reduces his support circle because he becomes paranoid that he won’t be able to protect them. A smaller issue that is both about Madara and not is he didn’t fall victim to the Talk no Jutsu, but was Madara aware of what was happening when he was possessed(?) by Kaguya? I forgot but if he wasn’t...I don’t think he’d agree Hashirama’s way was the right way at the end, merely his way was wrong. Because, in Madara’s point of view, the village may have been “better” (used very loosely) than becoming food/power for an alien goddess but it wasn’t good. It wasn’t the solution. Hashirama saying they were both wrong in some way saved the scene but Madara still jumped back to Hashirama’s dream being the right one too quickly imo. 

Favorite Moment/Quote:

“What are you going to do about the second [meteor] Onoki?” 

I’m sorry, that was just hilarious. We see this man slaughter an entire division and drop a meteor from the sky...two kages desperately try to stop it and it looks like they managed to succeed and he just...cool. What about the second? Really cemented Madara is Here and he is Dramatic. A close second fav is him flying across the battlefield to confront Hashirama only for the “I’ll deal with you later” line. 

What I would like to see more focus on:

I really love it when fics fill in the blanks of Madara’s childhood/his time with the Uchiha so that’s always a plus for me. The other thing is Hashirama calls Madara a “fundamentally kind man” and according to Tobirama the Uchiha feel love “too deeply” so I like fics that do focus on these aspects of Madara’s personality while staying true to his prickly demeanor. For headcanons I love, love, love exploring kekkei genkai/ninjutsu/genjutsu and how they individually affect people/clans. Digging deeper so that “fire affinity” means constantly running hot/pushing into possibly having fire resistance/unable to distinguish “too hot” / or even affinity acting like a secondary blood type so even if two people had AB blood if one had a water affinity and the other fire their blood would be incompatible. Also the mundane ways powers can be used (I have some Ideas for non-combat genjustu applications that the Uchiha use and those will come up in OoT 👀)

What I would like to see less focus on:

This again kinda ties into the Hashirama segments, but Madara completely depending on Hashirama and Hashirama alone for happiness. Especially in long AUs where he’s still in Konoha but has a poor relationship with the Uchiha. That’s fine starting out! But if the fic ends or doesn’t seriously work on improving that relationship it just sits a bit weird with me bc I don’t think Madara could be truly happy in that situation. (NSFW start) The other thing I see commonly is Madara is extremely passive/submissive in bed with Hashirama which is...weird to me? There’s also a reoccurring thing where he doesn’t have a lot of experience but Hashirama does and this leads to embarrassment and the aforementioned passive/submissiveness. I understand lack of experience can be embarrassing and I do believe Madara could be embarrassed, but instead of withdrawing into himself I think he’d push through it with something close to bravado and his usual single-minded intensity, for better or worse. I do think Madara usually bottoms in his and Hashirama’s relationship but both of them are as enthusiastic about sex as they are fighting and neither is especially submissive or dominant. (NSFW end)

Favorite pairing with:

Hashimada (Hashirama x Madara)

See absolutely everything else 😂 

Favorite friendship:

Canon/BoaF- Madara & Naori or Madara & Hikkaku 

I really like focusing on the Uchiha clan and exploring the dynamics within it. We get nothing about Madara’s early life outside of Hashirama so this is almost completely speculation. For the angst of canon, I like Madara being close to his clan only to lose them after his friendship with Hashirama is revealed bc he awakened his sharingan over Hashirama and that can’t be easily hidden. For BoaF, a large part of it is exploring the clans’ cultures before they made the village so this necessitates actually fleshing out said clans. Naori and Izuna are v similar in personality and both live to prank Madara and annoy him, but they hardly ever team up bc they start squabbling amongst themselves. Hikakku is stoic and calm in contrast to Naori’s mania and Madara’s intensity but he keeps track of every little favor and Madara dreads the day he’ll act on them because he knows it’ll result in something embarrassing for him. But like all BoaF!Uchiha, they’re fiercely protective of one another and you really don’t want to insult the wrong person. 

OoT - Madara & Naruto or Madara & Sai

I really Madara and Naruto’s dynamic, it’s very entertaining and fun for me to write and they’re both positive influences on each other. Madara gets more people to smother with his brand of affection and Naruto gets early recognition and training. Their weird non-training shenanigans (coupon collecting, gaming, etc.) also is p amusing. Madara and Sai have a similar relationship but I really like writing theirs from Sai’s POV bc he insists that he doesn’t feel close/like when Madara treats him like a little brother when he really does. 

NOTP:

Madatobi (Madara x Tobirama)

Logically, I know why this pairing is popular. Fanfic is saturated with the enemies to lovers trope yet emotionally I Do Not Understand it. Personally, I don’t enjoy toxic relationships, to read or write. And, to me, that’s what a close canon Madara and Tobirama pairing would be. Tobirama tried to convince Hashirama to kill him, he killed Izuna, even if it was in war, and I don’t think Madara could or would get over that. If Tobirama has similar attitudes about the Uchiha it makes it worse. AUs exist to rewrite this, of course, but I still don’t enjoy their romantic chemistry. At best, I like Tobirama and Madara as reluctant frenemies who insult each other and try to one-up each other. 

Favorite headcanon:

Madara is fire proof. 

I have a whole rant about this in OoT’s author notes 😂 Sasuke’s Amaterasu should have been a serious threat when it hit him. Instead the man just lets his clothes fall off then kicks their asses. He’s fire proof.

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In response to the ask game:

#asks #al-stuffy #naruto #hashimada #madara uchiha #madara #hashirama senju #hashirama #my fics #out of time #timetravel!au #birds of a feather #ask game #enjoy my exhausted rambles after 12 hours of driving #god i hope this makes sense #sorry for the grammar in advance #might wake up and edit the hell out of this #this should be obvious but #these are my opinions #not the word of jesus christ himself #...tho jesus' opinions on gay ninjas would be VERY much appreciated

[vancilocs]

The questions you think are relevant for kabal and zephi and javier and keyes?

my mouse did a fukkie wukkie with this i hope the formatting is ok

What is each member’s love language? Physical touch and quality time for Kabal Physical touch and gifts for Keyes, physical touch and quality time for Javier What would they describe as their perfect date? Shared gas station fish & chips and a sixpack of beer after 8 straight hours of driving for Kabal A concert, drinks and food, quality time in private for Javier, Keyes agrees but the concerts they would go to differ greatly Who made the first move? Kabal asked Zephi out but she wished he would Keyes, he doesn't mince words Who is more sentimental? I think Kabal is a bit more of a softie bc he's a dad and all. But not in a way that shows in their whatever they got going on Keyes, Javier is cool as a cucumber Which member calls the other in to kill the spiders? Kabal stomps them if asked Javier kills them, Keyes brings them outside Who falls asleep first? Zephi exhausts Kabal so thoroughly he's out for the count Usually Keyes, Javier is a coffee fiend Who wakes up first? Zephi and has to throw Kabal out Could be either, but usually Javier has an alarm for work Who is more more relaxed/carefree? No home, no job, no problem for Kabal Keyes What’s one way their personalities compliment one another? (Is it opposites attract or are they pretty similar?) Zephi is shy, Kabal is bold, Zephi enjoys dominating and Kabal enjoys giving up power so Somewhat opposites attract, Javier is very cool calm and professional and Keyes is much more outgoing and bubbly, they compliment each other well Who is always cold? If either then Zephi Javier, but Keyes is also from Florida so he gets chilly easily too Which member is always trying to bring home stray animals and which member always has to say no? Keyes will bring home any animal he can catch Who worries more? Sometimes Kabal's flaky behavior makes Zephi tense up Neither worries, really. Sometimes Javier will make sure Keyes has taken his pills and if he seems depressed, gives him extra attention and care What are some non-sexual activities they do together? Drive for 12 hours and sleep in a dingy motel or Kabal's baby mama's longhaul truck trailer Art, music, talking and cuddling, cooking and going out to eat, hanging out with friends Who would be able to talk their way out of a speeding ticket? Kabal but he's a very safe driver most of the time Keyes bc the one giving the ticket would have enough of his rambling Who is the better cook? I think Zephi. Kabal hasn't cooked since Hafza was a wee girl Javier, but just because Keyes is so experimental What are some things they don’t agree on? Kabal is not punctual and doesn't believe in having things like a "job" or a "home" and Zephi doesn't like the idea of having a "child" but honestly they aren't in a relationship enough for those kinds of things to affect them Javier doesn't believe in the healing power of crystals or zodiacs or tarot readings but they make Keyes happy so he lets him indulge. Which member is more physically affectionate? Both honestly, they like touching Keyes by a bit but Javier is always happy to comply, just have the man sit on his lap when hanging out with friends. Surely not bc Javier is used to being the short and small friend with Heather and Bailey. He just likes to hold Keyes. Shut Which member is more verbally affectionate? I think Kabal, very casually. But he's not overt either Keyes How does each member feel about PDA? Kabal is more overt with it than Zephi I think, will let her touch his butt or hold his tail or whatever They're fine with it, but not like gross or anything Who’s the safer driver? Kabal drives a lot and he drives responsibly Javier, Keyes can't drive What’s each member flirting style? Kabal tries to get to know the other person, shares interesting tidbits about himself, uses compliments and dumb little pick-up lines Javier is polite and interested, gives compliments, Keyes uses compliments and gives you a crystal if he likes you enough Which member steals borrows the other ones clothing? Zephi can wear Kabal's only shirt when

he's over, he's just gonna be shirtless then They use each others's oversized shirts Who is the cuddle initiator? Zephi after she's done with Kabal. Get him a drink first though Usually Keyes Are they an introverted couple or an extroverted one—AKA would they prefer to go out to a party or event together or would they rather stay in? Stay in, tbh Small parties and gatherings are okay, but otherwise stay in Who is the big/little spoon? Free game Usually Javier is big spoon Who is more likely to make an impulsive decision and who is the voice of reason? Neither is the boss of the other, do whatever you wish Javier will not and can not stop Keyes from getting a new shitty tattoo Who’s more likely to laugh at their own jokes? Kabal has dad jokes Keyes Who takes longer showers? Zephi, she has a skincare routine and haircare routine and all, Kabal washes his hair over the kitchen sink with dish soap Keyes if he washes his hair Who is “more loved” by the in-laws? They don't know each others' families. Hafza has no problem with what she knows of Zephi (the less she knows the better tbh), and Herah is pissed off but keeps some distance.

Keyes's mom loves Javier, his mom is a bit ehhhhh but well, he makes her son happy so Who is more likely to get jealous?

Neither, do whatever you wish babe

Keyes sometimes What was the most surprising thing they learned about one another once they started dating?

I think the fact that Kabal has a child was a surprise, even if she is grown already

Javier didn't quite know how low Keyes could go, but he adapted quickly Who stays up way too late and who tries to drag them to bed?

Neither

Sometimes Keyes will whine until Javier shows up Who’s messier?

Probably Kabal

Keyes Which member is more likely to accidentally spend $300 at Target?

Neither

Keyes finds candles and crystals Who wanted/would want kids first?

Kabal has a baby and he's fine with only one of those, thank you

Neither wants kids Who gives piggy back rides to the other?

Neither

Javier Who fell in love first?

Neither

Keyes

#hafza really just b 'you do you daddy *peace sign*' #she doesn't care #as long as this woman isn't like. scamming him out of what little money he has #long oc thing #javier doesn't believe in horoscopes unless it applies to him in which case he believes in horoscopes for a month #but it's nice to see his bf be excited abt something

[insufferablelust]

Hey I was wondering if you could do something cute with Spencer (earlier seasons) where reader (BAU) is really small and sweet in general but can outdrink anyone and he’s just like ‘how r u not dead???’ when the team all go out for drinks :))

hi angel! thank you for requesting this, i love the idea and you’ll see the result soon, but anyway yeah.. i might... gone a bit over with this one.. and i changed the story a bit i hope thats okay. Happy reading❤️

Sorry for grammatical errors!

SUPER FLUFF AND DRUNK-NESS!!

It was around 6 pm when the jet landed safely in Virginia, the team has just wrapped up a particularly gruesome complex case that left them exhausted but relieved nonetheless because they’ve caught the unsub. When they walked into the bullpen, they immediately saw Garcia sniffles as stepped out of her lair to hug each and every one of you— especially tighter around you, since you’re just so tiny and ‘hugable’ she said one time, in which you chuckled and return the hug as tight. “hey it’s alright, we’re okay. It’s over.” you whispered, knowing full well how much these cases could affect her, and she smiled warmly as she muttered a small “thank you (y/l/n)”

As everyone settled to write down some paperwork from the case files, Rossi abruptly stood before suggesting that you guys should celebrate the success you achieved today, Morgan was the first one to jump into the opportunity- hurriedly stacking his papers on his desk before dragging prentiss out of her chair “okay now c’mon, everyone— hey Reid! (Y/n)! Yes- you genius geeks will be there or you’re not scared are you einsteins?” the cheap threat causes a burst of laughter amongst the team including from Aaron, while you felt the warmth creeping up on your cheeks.

You see you rarely attended the ‘after celebration’ party they held, unless its in Rossi’s place, now that one you can’t pass up because Italian foods! but in all seriousness, it’s not that you don’t want to be with your teammates, it’s just that you’ve always been the life of the party ever since you were a teenager. Your friend Samantha used to called you out on your gift, of the ability to drink without a single trace of being drunk despite you being tiny, now that wouldn’t usually be a problem but things change when you have a major crush on your coworker, Dr. Reid.

If someone asked, what is it that draws you into Spencer? you could probably list more than 100 things. Ever since you joined, you and spencer immediately clicks, maybe because you both have a lot in common. From the way you love the same movies, types of books, and even have similar philosophical views- hence the nicknames that your teammates has given you both, Duo geek geniuses or Mr and Mrs. Einstein, lastly your favorite is Dr. and Mrs. Reid due to your similarities. You may never admit it, but every time Derek would use that one particular name, your heart feels like it may burst at any second. In conclusion, You’re whipped and you hesitated on him finding out just how wild you can be.

But before your better judgment can come to view, your smugness get the best of you. Standing straight, arms folded across your chest as you stare into derek’s eyes “We’ll see who passes out first, ‘chocolate thunder’” you replied, earning claps from your teammates including spencer whose smile is as wise as you can possibly imagine. what can you say? (Y/n) (Y/l/n) never backs out from a challenge.

Few hours later they arrived at a local bar near the building, (y/n) managed to yet again sit beside Spencer on a private booth, to her left is Prentiss, followed by Rossi, Morgan, JJ, then Penelope. Aaron needed to come home because Jack needs his father, (so that left the bau kids without their dad). As they chatter for a bit, your hand turned to look at Spencer, immediately noticing the slight uncomfortableness plastered on his face.

You ran your palm on his shirt covered arms, smiling gently “Hey, are you okay? do you wanna get out of here?” Spencer could tell that you’re being genuine, and caring which made his heart burst. “No, i’m okay (y/n) bars aren’t really my thing” He nervously giggles, scrunched up his nose and looked back at you. “Okay just let me know, spence” You patted his chest twice before returning to listen to the others.

Garcia had ordered shots for you to all drink, when it arrived your eyes widened at the sight of way too many shot glass filled with.. vodka you presumed, and 2 glass of coke and one glass of water. Everyone just stared back and forth between the drinks and garcia, which she replied with a “you guys said its a celebration” and before anyone can argue, morgan interrupts “Its okay babygirl, as i remembered that our sweet genius little miss (y/n) here have promised us she would drink tonight, and lots of it” his eyebrows are twitched as you lick your lips before leaning forward to take down the first shot.

“bring it on”

as it reached 12 AM all of the team has drown at least 3 shots, whilst you and Morgan’s count is higher than that. You heard a loud chuckle coming from your right as you gulped down a glass of water, turning to your side you can see spencer nursing his glass of coke that seemingly still full.

“Okay, who are you and what have you done to my sweet (Y/n)?” He said with a laugh, the straws that hang from his lips made your breath hitched and your fingers gripped the glass tightly at the sound of My sweet (Y/n). You composed yourself before mumbling,

“Hey thats not nicee! i’m right here still the same, what? you don’t love me when i’m drunk?” and if you think that doesn’t effect every neurons in his system then you’re dead wrong because Spencer would’ve done anything to just squeeze you tight in his arms and hold you close while listening to your slightly drunken rambles. “No, god no angel. What i meant is that, i was just not expecting this side of you, i mean look around, you outdrank everyone— how are you not dead yet?” his voice is borderline high pitched but also rugged, which made you instantly blush, looking down before glancing at your drunk coworkers, giggling at the sight of them.

Rossi had left few moments ago if your memory is right, Will picked up JJ and a very drunk Penelope home, whilst Prentiss took a very very drunk half-passed-out-Morgan. After saying your mocking goodbyes, you and spencer stared at each other. Your gaze is drunk yet lovingly genuine, Spencer’s figure tower over you as he tucked some of your fallen hair behind your ears and smiles.

“How about i take you home?” He offered, which earned a small disappointment filled whined from you at the loss of his touch. Your eyes widen, hoping he didn’t hear that but of course he did and immediately wrapped his arms around your shoulder, keeping her warm by his side as he walked them both to her car.

“You’re awfully cuddly when you are drunk (y/n) this is the drunk you i thought i was going to see” he opened the passenger door for you, before slide into the driver seat and started driving. “well i’m sorry that you didn’t like this side of me i thought—“ before you continue to ramble your drunk thoughts out, Spencer reached to softly grip your hand in his and let out a breathy laugh,

“No! (Y/n) thats not what i meant, i mean- i always like you, i’ve always liked you since the beginning no matter how many sides you have on you, you’re smart, and funny, and you understand me- thats why i like you so don’t think for a second that i didn’t like you then, especially when you beat Morgan’s ass off” He rambles as you dreamily stare into him, half hearing what he said, before he freezes, and realized what he had said or basically confessed.

“hey uh-“

“uh huh, i like you too, Spencer reid”

“We’ll try again tomorrow when you’re sober”

“I’m pretty sure, my feelings will still be the same.”

“Mine too.”

————————

I KNOW THIS IS WAY TOO LONG TO BE CONSIDERED AS A BLURB IM SORRY SHJSKS ANYWAYS ENJOY AND SEND ME REQUESTS THANK YOU!!

#spencer reid fluff #spencer reid smut #criminal minds imagines #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid angst #spencer x reader #insufferableblurb #spencer reid blurbs #spencer reid blurb #spencer x y/n

[spencerreidscoffeecup]

Chapter 12 | Morning Glory

(kind of a filler chapter)

CW: Reader gets her period (?? I'm not sure if that should be a warning but I still wanna put it here), FLUFFFFF MORE KISSES HEHEHEH, (very small) talk of ED

Spencer's POV:

"I love you, Spencer Reid."

That was the last thing I heard before falling asleep last night.

I knew that she said she loved me that night when everything happened, but I still took it as a 'heat of the moment' sort of thing.

She loved me?

I thought I was the one who loved her.

Maybe she meant it in a friendly way?

No way, she wouldn't say it like that- so 'secretive' if it was in a friendly way.. She probably thought I was asleep.

My mind whirled with these thoughts as I awoke before her in the morning, caressing her arm gently as I went to grab her phone before the alarm sounded off.

The clock read, '5:30 a.m.'.

I still had a little bit longer to sleep, but I couldn't bring myself to rest again.

I would've dwelled on her admittance more last night, but I was exhausted; instantly falling into a deep slumber, her in my arms.

I smiled at the thought of last night; the kisses we exchanged, the small intimate moments, the museum, the laughter, et cetera.

I felt butterflies circle in my stomach at the very thought of it, heat blossoming all throughout my body.

I knew that she liked me that way, but I thought that that was all. I didn't know that she loved me... loved me like I loved her.

Still, the team teased me for not being able to understand social cues when it came to anyone- especially girls.. So it made sense that I probably didn't pick up on it right away like Derek probably did.

"Spence?" I heard the tired, sleepy voice of Y/n calling to me on the couch.

Ignoring my thoughts, and the consistent butterflies fluttering in my body, I walked over to her; setting her phone down on the coffee table in front of her.

My gaze followed up her figure as she made 'grabby hands' to me, and I laughed.

"C'mere." she whispered, and I did as she pulled me in with her hands so my lips could meet hers.

The kiss was soft and sweet, slightly bitter from our morning breath but neither of us cared one bit.

"Why're you up so early?" she asked, pulling away slightly as my lips began to tingle from her touch.

"I'm not sure, I just couldn't sleep." I lied, tucking some of her hair out of her face.

"Well, come here, we have like forever to get up."

"Technically we have about one and half hours until we need to get up." I corrected, and she giggled, causing me to blush.

She pulled me to her and I laid next to her, hugging her waist as we exchanged soft kisses.

Each kiss lit a small fire within me that would never extinguish.

She laughed softly into our kisses, and I couldn't help but smile at the sweet sound.

A few minutes later, I kissed down her jaw, to her neck, sucking lightly. She squirmed, giggling at the soft sensation of my hair tickling her neck.

I pulled away, admiring her beauty as it looked as though she was doing the same to me.

"Hey," she said after a minute, breaking the brief silence. "Do you wanna get some coffee and maybe eat some food? We can run down to the french bakery shop! They have really good criossants there!"

My heart swelled at the fact she was talking positively about food; and that she was going to eat it with me.

She had made it so far, and I was so, so proud of her.

"Sure," I said excitedly, hopping off of her and extending my hand out. "We can then come back and get ready if you just wanna go now."

"With our clothes on from last night?" she laughed as she took my hand into hers.

"Why not?" I shrugged, breathily laughing back.

"Alright!" she said after a moment, turning me around as we got to the bathroom door, and standing on her tippy-toes, she kissed my nose gently.

We both brushed our teeth, then put on sweaters; her wearing mine over her blue sundress.

We walked out to the car and began driving, soft music playing in the background.  The song "Lucky" came on, and I could see her blushing at the lyrics; heat crawling up my neck and making me turn a light red. I couldn't help but daydream at what it would be like to be with her both mentally and physically; my thoughts cut short when we pulled into the parking lot of the bakery, "Beaux Produits de Boulangerie" (Lovely Baked Goods).

"Hey, whatcha thinkin' about?" Y/n asked, turning to me.

"You." I said simply, kissing her cheek then getting out of the car, smiling to myself at the blush that took over her face. I walked around the car, opening the door for her and she thanked me, holding my hand with hers as we walked into the bakery.

We each ordered hot coffee and a chocolate croissant.

"Did you know that Marie Antoinette popularized the croissant in France by requesting the royal bakers to replicate her favorite treat from her homeland, Austria? Then, August Zang, an Austrian artillery officer that founded a Viennese Bakery in Paris in around 1839, recreated it." I rambled as I sat down in one of the booths.

"S-sorry." I stuttered as she sat down in front of me.

"Why are you sorry? I love it when you talk; I learn a lot." she gushed.

"Really?" I asked in disbelief.

"Of course. When you talk it makes me happy."

Her statement made my heart flutter, my knees growing weak as I was grateful that I was sitting down.

"T-thanks." I replied, smiling bashfully at her.

She giggled softly, picking up her coffee and taking a sip, and soft content-full hum coming from the back of her throat.

I bit into the buttery croissant; the sweet, creamy taste of chocolate filling my senses.

"Did you know that chocolate is considered an 'aphrodisiac': a food, drink, or drug that stimulates sexual desire? Nowadays, scientists ascribe the aphrodisiac qualities of chocolate, if any, to two chemicals it contains. One, tryptophan, is a building block of serotonin, a brain chemical involved in sexual arousal. The other, phenylethylamine, a stimulant related to amphetamine, is released in the brain when people fall in love." I quickly blushed as I realized what I was telling her.

Her eyebrows were raised, an amused smile sitting on her face.

"Would be a shame if we both ate a lot of chocolate right now." she teased, laughing at my shocked face.

'Ah, yes, what a shame.' I thought to myself.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After about thirty minutes of talking and laughing at the bakery, we both split the check (even though I insisted I pay, but she brushed my offer away, and we settled to split the payment.), and drove home.

We got ready to go and got to the office, and I saw her wince a bit, holding her lower stomach.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked, slightly concerned at her painful expression.

"Y-yeah, I'll be right back."

She scurried off into the other bathroom, and I heard squealing when she came out a minute later.

"W-what?! What's wro-"

I was quickly interrupted by her excited face, her smile causing the corners of her eyes to crinkle.

"I got my period! I haven't had it in months because of everything!" She squealed.

"Oh my god, that's amazing!" I laughed excitedly as she jumped into my arms. I kissed all over her face and set her down, we instantly connected our lips together.

I pulled away, "I'm so proud of you."

She blushed, nuzzling her face in my chest.

I so badly wanted to say how much I loved her, but I didn't, instead just swaying back and forth with her in my arms.

"Thank you for everything, Spence." she said softly, and now it was my turn to blush as she kissed my lips softly, hugging my neck.

'Anything for you.' I thought to myself.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We got to the BAU twenty minutes after the good news, walking into the doors together. We still  hadn't told the team about us as we had just gotten together last night basically, so we disconnected our hands once we got into the building.

We entered the elevator and as soon as the metal doors closed, my lips were on hers in a sweet and passionate kiss.

We reluctantly pulled apart as the metal doors bee open, and walked into the bullpen.

"Why, hello there my little love-birds, how are we this fine morning?" Morgan asked, playing with his pen on his desk.

"Just fine, Morgan." Y/n giggled, and Morgan's eyes grew wide; so did mine.

She ignored the stares and walked to her desk, starting on her paperwork.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Throughout the day, we had slipped into the janitor's closet, Penelope's office, hidden corners of the BAU, and the break-room to kiss and makeout.  We felt like teenagers kissing at highschool sneakily.

We held hands under the table at the team meetings we had today, and kissed behind team members' backs.

Now, Y/n and I were playing chess.

She was respectfully, kicking my ass.

"Hah! Checkmate! Man, I can't believe the genius Doctor Reid, lost!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms outward.

"Hah hah. That's only because the genius Doctor Reid, let you win!" I squeaked sarcastically, laughing a bit.

"Nope nope nope! That's not true! You just can't help the fact that I won, and you lost!" she stood up, ruffling her fingers through my hair to get some water from the breakroom; my eyes following her as she walked away.

"Spence, what's going on with you and Y/n?" JJ asked, walking up to me, my eyes averting from Y/n to look up at the blonde, her arms crossed in front of her.

"N-nothing.. What's going on with you and Emily?" I shot back, JJ's face going into a slight blush.

"Touche." she replied, walking away laughing.

We all knew something was happening between JJ and Emily, it was just a matter of time before they admitted it to everyone.

It was also a matter of time before I admitted to being in love with Y/n... you know, to her face.. Outloud.

That was scary.

_______________________________________________________________________________

AN: HEY GUYSSS THIS IS JUST A LITTLE FILLER CHAPTER BUT I WANTED TO ADD IT!

HOPE YOU ENJOYED, MORE STUFF TO COME!

love you all

#spencerreid #spencerreidxreader #criminalminds #fanfic #fanfiction #wattpad

[huntertales]

well shit i just realized your blog became my comfort blog, i feel so fucking empty after this finale and the first thing I did after I finally stopped crying was to come here cause I'm in need of some love and that's exactly what I always felt while being here, love, the love you have for your rewrite, the love you have for us and the love we have for you in general, i honestly prefer your version of Supernatural, thank you for allowing us/ me to have a history with our comfort character's, ily

i’ve been crying so much tonight PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME EVEN CRY MORE

come here, my love. i feel sort of empty after this finale too because of the crying i did. but let me tell you for some reason it has made me want to continue writing for this story even more. it doesn’t hit me how many people really enjoy this rewrite. it warms my heart. and it makes me want to make this show even better, reach its potential of what it can be. 

soooo, this is where things turned into a really long answer. hopefully this instills some love for the show again. i have been up since 5 am. it’s 12:30 as i post this. it’s crackhead hours.

here’s a rambling of a psycho with an unhealthy obsession to this show! spoilers for this show, probably minus the series finale. but please be warned. 

okay, here we go: i feel like the finale we were given was decent. was it perfect and what we all wanted? no. can we make it better? well, we can try. i kind of got the idea that feels more comforting. more deep rooted in the element that the show drives home--family. the very thing that this entire show has been all about. anyone can be your family, and the characters will do a lot of stupid stuff to bring them back alive. but what about the things we do to keep them safe? what kind of morals does this show teach? 

this has to do with the twins. children are our future. little versions of ourselves. they give us a chance to make the world a better place, to pass down the better parts of ourselves in hopes they'll learn from our mistakes. maybe even stop the abusive cycle. because if there's another strong theme in the show and rewrite, it's all about control of your own destiny. john forcing sam and dean into hunting, brainwashing them and conditioning them to fear every little thing. ella (the reader's mother) planning out the reader's potential life and keeping her away from the supernatural world by cutting ties with her best friends. only to be selfish and ruin the reader's life, forcing her into becoming a monster with dire consequences. 

nobody--not anyone in this show-had been given a proper chance at doing what they wanted because of chuck. they were all either characters in a story, or continuing the cycle passed down from a family. (the winchesters with hunting and a neglectful father on john's side. the reader's family with their need to explore the unknown and fuck up their lives? i'll be honest, that one is a bit of a stretch. but you know what i'm getting at) 

when season fifteen rolls around, the twins would most likely be a few years old? the timeline is a bit wonky. but i have the idea of aging them up to be adults by chuck. how was the famous y/l/n-winchester dynamic going to turn out to be? perfect little killing machines? in his version, of course they would. imagine what they might be capable of...what they might be forced to do. it would be y/n and dean's biggest fear for the twins to turn out exactly like how they are--mentally unstable and traumatized hunters. the perfect killing machine. (daddy’s blunt little instrument. lucifer’s little mutt. the cycle of trauma continues on. there’s no end) 

somehow with the help of jack or something, the twins get back to their own age and have no recollection. because that’s not their version of the story. it’s chuck’s. 

at the end of this finale, wouldn't it be nice to see the reader and the boys breaking that cycle after chuck is defeated? they are finally free. they're given a chance to make decisions for themselves. raise their family the way they want. 

i can imagine dean and y/n find the perfect balance between hunting and raising the twins while getting that life that’s perfect for them. (i don't care what people say. dean would make an excellent father, and the reader always hoped to give the boys a life outside of hunting. a sense of safety.)  it’s not too normal, and it’s not too risky. the twins can grow up with a chance at the life they want--to hunt or to live a normal life. the family dynamics that had been instilled for decades have changed. for once they did something right. free will to do what they please. no one to tell them what to do. and that’s all that matters.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT SPN is when dean denies himself love and family is to end with him having a fucking set of children and a partner that loves him. and with a family that doesn't die because what kind of message is that? plus sam and eileen running off together because she's perfect for him. best as it can get for the dude. plus cas doesn't die and jack is still around. k 

there's so much more i could go on about but this is just a tiny little snippet of what i had in mind. now can you see why the twins are so important? (well...i didn't realize this angle until i started typing out a possible plotline last week lol) 

i’m going to bed. i’m emotionally and physically exhausted. i love every single one of you. 

#mail #long answers to short questions #you bet your sweet ass i have more planned out baby #i'm already planning on watching season 10-14 to get a proper outline #we're gonna make this show even better

[madamslayyy]

Log Cabin And A Brewing Fire VIII

Pairing: Nebraska Williams (Trevante Rhodes) x Reader

Warnings: This is a SLOW BURN FIC. I’m going at what I believe is a realistic place via my perception. I know y’all want some steam but this is SLOW BURN. Please checkout my Masterlist for other works if you’re looking for a little raunchiness.

A/N: To everyone I trolled yesterday, April Fools! (Except it’s not April) I’m definitely finishing this series, just had to make y’all sweat a little bit 😂😘 If you haven’t caught up on the previous chapters, check them out here via MY MASTERLIST.

Also I usually put this at the bottom of the Chapter but I don’t think people actually read that so I’m putting it here, if you want to be tagged, THIS POST will tell you how. Please don’t come to my inbox asking or leaving it on the chapters because I always forget to check and I feel so guilty leaving people out when they ask or accidentally ignoring them.

Anyway I’ve rambled long enough, love y’all and hope y’all enjoy this.

~*~

“Training Day again, Mr. Williams?” Nebraska’s students whined.

“It’s either that or run laps.” He grinned.

“It’s too cold to run laps. And it’s snowing outside. Aren’t there like... child labor laws or something?” One of his students asked.

“Could always make you guys run laps inside until 12:00. You all prefer that?” Nebraska grinned at the chorus of “No’s” coming from his class.

“Alright, Training Day it is,” Nebraska put on the film and retreated to his office. Today was the last day of school before Thanksgivings break. It was the Tuesday before the holiday and the students were only required to attend a “Half” day before being dismissed at noon.

You actually had the entire week off for the holiday and were planning on going to see your Aunt and Uncle this week. Nebraska has insisted you go on alone and enjoy your time with your family but you had refused.

“I’ll only go if you’re going. No one should be alone during the holidays.”

In these last couple of weeks Nebraska thought he’d been doing a pretty good job distancing himself from you. The two of you no longer slept in the same bed together, he was careful not to get too close to you when the two of you had to be around each other and even then he kept that to a minimal. The two of you rarely ever saw eachother and he was trying to keep it that way.

You, on the other hand, had a different idea. It seemed like the more he retreated, the more you would seek him out. You were determined not to let things get weird between the two of you. Nebraska wasn’t sure if it was out of pity that you were still being so nice to him after his screw up but he knew it only served to further his guilt.

Nebraska used the hour or so he had left to grade papers and before he knew it, the bell rang at noon and his students began filing out the classroom. He walked out his office to stop the movie and put up the equipment. That was one thing he actually did love about teaching the JROTC students, they were typically pretty well behaved. Nebraska was also sure it was because the other coach, Colonel McNeal, even in his old age, had put the fear of god in these kids.

Nebraska was almost through with his stack of papers he’d been grading and decided to finish it out before leaving so that was one less thing to grade during the break.

“Knock Knock,” Tonya peeped her head in through the door before coming in fully and taking a seat.

“Ah I thought you’d be halfway to St. Mary’s by now,” Nebraska chuckled. St. Mary’s was the elementary school her sons attended.

“Well the boys’ father have them today and tomorrow but Mama gets Thanksgiving,” she grinned, showing all thirty two of her nearly perfect teeth.

“Always good to get a little peace and quiet before the holidays,” Nebraska nodded.

“Amen to that. Which actually brings me to my next point. I know you’re new in town and single and I would hate for a nice guy such as yourself to be alone for Thanksgiving. What do you say to coming to my house for Thanksgiving? You could even stop by the night before, help me do a little Pre-dinner Turkey stuffing,” Tonya offered cheekily and Nebraska knew exactly where she was going with this. Again.

“Thanks for the... um... generous offer T, but I won’t be alone for the holidays, I have Y/N,” Nebraska said trying to let her down as gently as possible.

“Y/N? I didn’t know you two were so.... close,” Tonya said, her smile faltering.

“Yeah we’re driving down to see her Uncle. He was... actually still is... my Lieutenant. Anyway we’re just gonna stay with them for the holiday,” Nebraska smiled but the atmosphere was awkward. It was awkward every time he had to reject her but she was persistent to say the least.

“I see. Well I’ll get out of your hair. Gotta get going to the store before all of the good Turkeys are gone,” she laughed dryly before exiting his office.

“Enjoy your break, T,” he called as she made her hasty getaway.

~*~

Nebraska awoke with a start. He glanced over from his position in the passengers seat to see you, your eyes in deep concentration of the road ahead. He yawned and your face relaxed a bit from its focused contortion as you were made aware of his wakefulness.

“Morning sleeping beauty,” you chuckled. Nebraska glanced at the clock in the car and it read 12:34.

“That late huh?” He said sitting up.

“Yeah but the plus side is we’ll be there in half an hour.”

“I was out for that long? Sheesh,” Nebraska scoffed.

“Well you had been at work all day. I was snoozing the whole time.” You said in that melodic voice of yours. How were you this chipper even in the dead of night?

~*~

The two of you continued on the road until finally making it to your Uncle and Aunt’s home. It was well after 1 a.m. so you and Nebraska did your best to sneak in quietly. You were grateful they still kept a spare key in a potted plant just in case someone ever got locked out.

You and Nebraska creeped upstairs and made it to your room, it seemed, without being detected.

“Sheesh, I’m exhausted,” you said stretching out on your bed. Nebraska came in afterwards, carrying your luggage and his because he was still ever the gentleman.

“There’s a-“ Nebraska’s sentence was cut off by your bedroom door swinging open to reveal your Uncle carrying a steel baseball bat, eyes alert.

“Uncle RayRay!!!” You squealed jumping up to hug the man.

“Do you all have any idea what time it is? We weren’t expecting you to get here until Wednesday,” he croaked. He had clearly just woken up.

“It is Wednesday. And we wanted to get ahead of the traffic,” you pointed out.

“Well you nearly gave Mabel a heart attack. Williams, good to see you, boy. Let me show you to your room,” He said indicating for Nebraska to follow him.

“You as well, sir” Nebraska said, following your Uncle, his luggage in hand.

You had never really thought about it but you’d always just assumed Nebraska would stay in the same room as you, just like at home. Then it dawned on you, your Uncle had no idea how bad Nebraska’s sleeping patterns were. You thought maybe you should mention it but there was no way he’d willingly allow you and Nebraska in the same bed without a marriage certificate between you two. He was old fashioned that way.

So you reluctantly just resigned to your bed alone, the exhaustion from driving sending you immediately into slumber before you even had a chance to unpack.

~*~

The next morning you came downstairs to none other than your Aunt’s amazing home cooked breakfast. She was hovering over the stove still making Breakfast while Nebraska and your Uncle were seated at the table, already eating.

“So nobody was gonna wake me up?” You yawned, taking your seat next to Nebraska.

“Figured you’d be out til dinner the way you sleep,” your Aunt said putting down your breakfast in front of you. French toast, sunny side up eggs and her special fried hash browns. Your mouth began to salivate just looking at it.

“Thank you MaeMae,” you said, digging in. Breakfast carried on peacibly but you kept glancing over at Nebraska. He seemed tired, and quiet. Well he was always quiet but a little more than usual. Maybe he was a little uncomfortable here. The last time he saw his General, he had put a bullet through his brain. He never told you the reason why because you two never talked about it but you’d bet Raynard knew. And that’s probably what made it so awkward.

“Alright now Y/N I got a list here for you of things I need done today. I need you to run by the store and pick up some...” Your Aunt Mabel began naming off the various ingredients she still needed for Thanksgiving tomorrow and the other chores she’d assigned you for today. Even though you were an adult, she still believed in putting you to work.

“There. That shouldn’t be too tough,” she said finishing the list of tasks and handing it to you, “Maybe you could take that quiet fella with you, he’s pretty big, he can help you carry some of that stuff.”

“Oh Nebraska probably doesn’t wanna be bothered running errands with me,” you said shrugging off the notion.

“Sure I do,” Nebraska was on the other side of the kitchen leaning against the counter. Both you and your Aunt jumped in surprise, neither of you having heard him even enter the room.

“Good lord boy, anybody ever told you about sneaking up on an old woman! About to give me a heart attack,” Mae said clutching her chest.

~*~

“Why do we need so many flowers, again?” Nebraska asked as he watched the florist load bundle after bundle of fresh cut flowers into your car.

“Mae takes any holiday when family comes over serious. One time she ordered over 20 preplanted trees for Arbor Day. Ended up giving them away as party favors as everyone left.” You said smiling at the memory.

“So it’ll be pretty packed tomorrow, huh?” Tre said watching the florist load the last bundle into the car.

“You have no idea.”

~*~

You couldn’t sleep. You’d tried everything from drinking tea to counting sheep but your body just couldn’t seem to fall into restful bliss without a certain burly figure wrapped around you.

You’d thought about going to see what he was doing, if he was still up but you refrained, not wanting to bother him.

He’d been... weird about things since the camping trip, even tried sleeping in his own bed again but you’d eventually broke him down by acting as if nothing had changed. That was a lie though, everything had changed. Where you merely acknowledged his attractiveness before, you now ached at the sight of him. The mere thought of his lips, so soft and inviting, was enough to send you into a frenzy. When his hand was on your stomach you could practically feel the strength beneath his fingers. You often thought of his strength and stamina. Fantasized about it actually. Fantasized about him getting rough with you, throwing you around before returning to his default sweet nature, making up for it in every possible way.

You were interrupted mid-daydream (or night dream since it was a little past 11p.m.) by a round of small knocks at the door followed by Nebraska peeking his head in.

“You still up?” He asked. You nodded and he came all the way in, closing the door behind him and leaning against it.

“Mind if I join you?” He asked and you felt that familiar shimmer in your stomach as your insides intertwined.

“Of course,” you said a bit breathlessly. He crawled in next you and it was actually a bit... awkward.

“I missed you,” you quipped, interrupting the silence. A goofy grin instantly broke out across Nebraska’s face, which he tried to hide via scratching the back of his head and looking away.

“I, uh, gotta admit I feel the same,” now it was your turn to be bashful.

“Why are we acting like we never see each? Like we didn’t just spend the last two whole days together?” You giggled and Nebraska smirked.

“I guess this is..... different, you know.... more... physical....” he was staring at your lips and you unconsciously bit your lip in response. That seemed to break his trance and he glanced up, a look of guilt marring his perfect features.

“I should probably-,” he said shifting away from you to stand up.

“Nebraska please, don’t...go,” your arm was now wrapped around his chest in an attempt to keep him from leaving. He was so warm, the curls of his chest hair tickling your fingers. His muscles were tense, you could feel them flex beneath you.

“I need you...” you whispered and that’s when the dam broke between the two of you. Nebraska pivoted in your arms, crashing his lips to your own. This wasn’t the same kind of kiss as in the woods. This was something completely different; something hungry and desperate. You could feel him still holding back so you decided to go all in, returning the smooch tenfold, both hands leaving their position at his torso to cup his face.

“Y/N...” he moaned, you felt like you might pass out. His hands latched themselves to your hips, pulling you into his lap. Your hands shifted from his jaw to his shoulders in order to steady yourself, pulling him even closer, meeting his eagerness with your own.

“Take thi- shit,” he moaned as you perched your full weight onto his lap, his already awakened member there to greet you.

“Too much? Am I too heavy?” You asked, beginning to rise from his lap only to have him pull you back down.

“No, you’re perfect babygirl. More than perfect,” he began kissing down your neck, his teeth grazing against the base of your neck hard enough to bruise.

You were melting beneath his touch. He was so quiet and reserved in his daily life so to be succumbed to his passion in such a raw and unfiltered way made your head swim. You never thought a man of his beauty, candor, and strength would look twice at someone like you yet here he was, your touch alone powerful enough to leave him a moaning, whimpering figure of lust beneath you. It gave you a surge of confidence you’d never quite experienced in the bedroom before.

“Take this off,” Nebraska said tugging at your night shirt. That’s when you remembered you weren’t wearing a bra. Meaning you’d be completely exposed to him, pooch, rolls and all.

“Hey, it’s just us here, okay?” He said pecking your lips when he sensed your hesitation.

“O-okay. Can you get the light?” You nodded towards the lamp on you side desk next to your bed.

“As long as I’ve been dreaming about this moment? No way, I gotta see you,” Nebraska said biting his lips, his eyes gazing over you with pure karnal lust. Your stomach fluttered.

You took your shirt off and he was immediately in awe. He gently took one soft mound in his hand, plopping your already hardened nipple into his mouth. Your nails dug into his shoulders as his tongue swirled around the sensitive flesh. Nebraska smirked at your obvious arousal, the vision of his pristine white teeth against your brown areola was almost a work of art.

When he began to go for the other nipple you pushed him back gently, crawling off his lap but he swiftly pulled you back on.

“Where are you going?

“Shhh... just relax,” you said and he finally let you go, allowing you to maneuver yourself between his legs, pulling his boxers down. His swollen member sprang free of the fabric and for a second you thought you might be hallucinating. He was certainly bigger than any man you’d ever been with, and his girth definitely looked more delectable, the pigment from his shaft to his head all one even color that matched the ebony complexion of his skin.

“You were hiding... all this... this whole time?” Your eyes were fixated on his throbbing length.

“Didn’t think you would care either way,” Nebraska said in a breathy voice. You gazed into his brown eyes in utter disbelief before returning to the task at hand.

You kissed your way up his thighs slowly to tease him, dragging your nails lightly along the sensitive area. His dick jumped in excitement.

He was already leaking precum, the head glistening with his essence. You gripped his base and feathered kisses up his shaft, teasing his head with your tongue. The second you took his tip fully into your mouth, he shuddered, gripping the bedsheets for dear life.

“Relax, Braska, let me take care of you,” you said in what you hoped was a ‘sultry’ voice. It had been a while since you’d gave a man head and you were racking your brain, trying to make sure there wasn’t anything you forgot with the inexperience of time.

You slurped him from base to tip, taking your time to get it extremely wet so your hand could pump him easily. You made sure to spit on it just for extra measure and you swore you saw Nebraska’s eyes roll into the back of his head.

You took him into your mouth and immediately hollowed your cheeks, sucking his over sensitive tip while pumping his base. You alternated between this motions and deep throating him as far as you could take him, making quite the show of gagging on his incredible length. You traveled down further, making sure to not to forget his scrotum, sucking one half and then the other while your hands handled the main attraction.

Where Nebraska was tembling before, he was a blubbering mess now, moaning your name along with a string of curse words as he chased his own pleasure. He took one hand and brought it to the back of your head, guiding you back to his swollen tip. You knew he couldn’t keep his orgasm at bay for much longer so you switched into full concentration mode, paying close attention to what would get him over that edge. His hand on the back of your head was gripping you so tight, you thought he might snatch your headscarf off.

“Shit, Y/N, don’t stop. Please, baby, right there, right there,” he begged and you made sure to adhere to him. Right as he was about to explode in your mouth, he grabbed himself and took it out, opting instead to nut on your face. You graciously accepted his release , the warm essence coating your face. You couldn’t help but giggle as he smeared some of it across your lips with his head, tapping the semi-firm member against them.

“Where’d you learn how to do that?” Nebraska asked out of breath. You shrugged as you got up to go wash your face.

You’d were in the middle of wiping off his ‘gift’ when he followed right after you, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck.

“Nebraska, I gotta wash my face and brush my teeth,” you cooed, grabbing a clean face towel and your night routine face wash. Nebraska turned your head to the side, capturing your lips in one of the slowest, sloppiest kisses you’d ever experienced, emphasizing his tongues presence in your mouth as a ‘Thank You’. When Nebraska finally let your lips go he continued clinging to you, only unwrapping himself once so that he could clean off his own member.

Once the two of you were clean, you took to bed. Nebraska, in a position much similar to earlier, engulfed you in himself, peppering you with kisses until he fell asleep. You fell asleep soon after, still not a hundred percent sure if what had just transpired was real or a dream.

~*~

You woke up noticeably cold. And alone. You glanced over to the other side of the bed to find it empty. That wouldn’t be that unusual any other morning but then the events of last night came flooding back to you. You couldn’t believe how brazen you’d been with him last night and the embarrassment immediately came crushing in.

Also why wasn’t he here? There wasn’t a single sign he’d ever been here. Even back home it was unusual for Nebraska to just silently wake up and creep out like a thief in the night. He probably came to his senses about you last night, which is why he’d ran for the hills.

What more could he possibly want anyway? You’ve already sucked him off. He doesn’t need to entertain you anymore. He got what he came for.

You tried to shake the negative thoughts from your head as you hopped in the shower but they were incessant.

What if he was in a relationship with Tonya. You were so desperate for him last night, you hadn’t even thought to ask. What if you made him a cheater because you couldn’t control yourself around him and just had to jump at the chance to show him you could be a slut. What would he want with one of those anyway when he has a woman like Tonya waiting for him back home.

As you walked down stairs you saw Nebraska moving tables with your Aunt supervising. You couldn’t bare to make eye contact with either of them. It didn’t matter because Mabel heard you anyway

“Y/N! About time you woke up girl, I need you to run down to Annie Sinclair’s- you remember Miss Sinclair don’t you? I need you to runs down to her place and pick up the four Pecan Pies she was supposed to have delivered yesterday,” Mabel said scribbling down the address. You nodded and grabbed your keys, leaving without a word. You didn’t notice Nebraska’s intense eyes longingly look after you as you left.

~*~

By the time you returned back home with your Aunt’s pies, there were cars filling up the driveway and parked on the street out front.

You carried them in but the kitchen was full of different dishes, along with her cooking and you had no where to put them. You sat them down on the dining table and hoped that would suffice for now.

You wandered around looking for her, speaking to various extended family members. Almost everyone here was from her side of the family but they didn’t treat you any different.

“So how’s that museum going baby? What is it you do there again?” You great Aunt Lettie asked.

“Well actually I-“

“Y/N! Girl I been looking for you everywhere! Come on in here and help ya Auntie in the kitchen,” Mabel said thundering down the stairs. You said your condolences to Lettie then followed your Aunt into the kitchen.

You looked around as she began stirring something in a pot, “So what exactly was it that you needed help with?”

“Oh child, nothing. I just know how Lettie gets and she’ll talk your head off all day if you let her,” she chuckled, throwing on her Apron. You sighed in relief, sinking down in a chair for the first time in what felt like hours.

“Tired?” Mabel quipped.

“You have no idea,” you rubbed the side of your temples trying to alleviate a potential headache in its tracks.

“Maybe you wouldn’t be if you actually slept at night,” you felt your heart drop as your eyes flew open.

“Save it. I went to fetch that boy this morning so he could move some furniture around for me. Imagine my surprise to see not only his room empty but that he’d some how stumbled into yours. Better be glad it was me who drug him out of there and not your uncle.” She turned her attention away from stirring the pot to... well... stir the pot.

“There’s nothing going on between us... we just sleep next to each other. But we’re not... like that,” you averted your eyes. Wait, did she say she drug him out of your room this morning?

“Sell that tale to some other simpleton, I’ve seen the way you been eyeing that man. And more importantly, how he looks at you. That’s love, honey, clear as day,” Was it that obvious that your heart ached for him every time you were in a five feet radius of the man?

“I... I.... I didn’t mean for this to happen...”

“For what to happen? To fall for him harder than a piano with a paper parachute?” She didn’t need an answer, your face said it all. “Look, I don’t know exactly what you two got going on rattling around in those big, pretty heads of yours but what I do know is if there were ever two people who needed a little love, deserved a little love in their life, I’m looking at them.”

You felt like you could cry. You’d been so in denial about everything you felt for this man for so long that now faced with your own feelings, they almost threatened to overpower you.

“I- if he doesn’t feel the same, if this is one sided- I- I’ve never really felt this way about anyone before. If he rejects me, it’ll tear me apart. I can’t risk the heartache,”

“Child the world is full of heartache the same way it’s full of rejection. That’s just the nature of life. But one things for sure, nothing will ever come of the two of you skirting around each other like a pair of mice. You need to clear things up even if it doesn’t go according to your plan, which knowing you, you probably don’t even have one. Go talk to the man.” And that was that on her lecture. She turned around and resumed stirring whatever she was cooking on the stoveto, only glancing over her shoulder when she noticed you hadn’t moved.

“I meant now.”

~*~

“And that’s when I told him, ‘look, I don’t care if the god damn Marshal himself rides up on a golden chariot and declares the sanction with feathers flying straight out his ass, I’m not moving my platoon for nobody!’” The table Nebraska was currently sitting at burst into laughter and he cracked a smile to be polite but he didn’t have the slightest clue what the conversation was about. Didn’t really care to be honest. His mind was on one thing and one thing only, that thing of course being you.

It all still felt like a dream to him, he’d almost believe it was if he hadn’t woke up in your bed. Correction, somebody woke him up and it wasn’t you. One look at your Aunt’s face and he knew the jig was up.

“Come help me move some tables, big fella,” she said closing your door behind her. He pulled on his sweatpants which had still been discarded on the floor and followed behind her. He stopped quickly in his own room to grab a shirt. Thank god you’d had the mind to cover up after last night’s escapade. That would only make the situation look worse.

Nebraska was sure he was in for a lecture but the older woman continued on as if she’d seen nothing out of the ordinary, giving out various orders to get ready for the day. Preparation that was much needed by the way. In only a matter of hours the house was filled to the brim with more people than Nebraska could have possibly anticipated. But that was hardly a problem because that gave him ample opportunity to avoid you.

He didn’t know what was going through his mind last night but he had embarrassed himself beyond belief. Looking back, he wished he’d done so many things differently. He wished he had been man enough not to ejaculate so early. He wished he had took care of your pleasure first before obtaining his own. He wished he had thrown all the foreplay out the window and been inside you. When you came downstairs this morning and wouldn’t even look at him, he knew you regretted it. Of course you’d expected more out of him. He had expected more out of himself, but he promised himself if he ever got the opportunity for such intimacies with you again, he’d ravish you the way you deserved.

And oh did you deserve it and then some. The way your mouth had worked Nebraska last night, he could have died a happy man right then, right there. You sucked him off in a way he’d never been before, leaving him completely putty on your well-versed hands. You obviously must have had quite the experience in this area because you knew exactly what to do at every turn, getting him to his release faster than he could himself. Just the thought alone made him crave you, want to seek you out. It had been easier for him to deny his sexual urges for you when he had no point of reference but last night had only served to intensify his need to bed you. A need he’d probably never satisfy after his embrassing performance last night.

Nebraska realized he was completely lost to the conversation with the oldhead army men around him, friends of the Lieutenant no doubt, so he respectfully excused himself then went to head upstairs. He needed a moment to himself to collect his thoughts and stop obsessing over you. But it looked as if luck wasn’t on his side today.

As he began his ascension up the stairs you were coming down and suddenly, your eyes locked. You looked just as beautiful as ever, your mauve skirt and Jean button down accentuating your tempting chubby figure. His mind immediately went to the feel of your curves molding against his own physique, the memory of your delicious weight on his lap igniting a fire in him. He really needed to calm down.

“Hey...” you said in a voice he almost couldn’t hear.

“Hey,”

“Can, um, can we talk?” You asked tugging at the bottom of your skirt.

“Course,” Shit, Nebraska knew where this was going.

“Okay, um..... in here,” she tugged his arm and pulled him into the nearest bathroom, locking the door behind her.

“We need to talk about last night,” Nebraska’s blood went cold.

“I’m listening...”

“I didn’t mean to- That wasn’t my intention to- if you- I wasn’t trying to-“

“Save it, Y/N. Just forget it ever happened.” Nebraska couldn’t listen to this. He couldn’t hear how much you regret being with him. What easily was a night of utter perfection for him was nothing more than an impulsive mistake for you and that realization hurt too much to hear verbalized.

“Nebraska please just... let me talk. Even if you don’t care about what I have to say, at least let me say it. Please...,” your voice cracked and he could hear the tears you were fighting back in your voice. He thought about storming out to save himself from having to watch this breakdown but he knew him leaving would only cause you to burst into tears and he just couldn’t do that to you. So Nebraska resigned to leaning against the wall, arms folded across his chest, indicating to you that you had his full attention.

“Ok look. I- I don’t know the full nature of you and Tonya’s relationship but I’m not an idiot. I knew something was going on with you two but I still went after you anyway and I just want to apologize profusely for impeding on your relationship with her,” you took a breath, “but I feel I owe it to you, and to myself, to be honest about my... feelings the last few months. I- I’m not the most experienced with men. I often read into things way too much. I’m anxious to a fault. But either way, I somehow deluded myself into seeing your kindness and gentleman-like ways for something they weren’t. I- I began developing feeling for you when I shouldn’t have. And for that I apologize.... again.” You took another breath, swallowing this time.

“You’re a great guy. One of the best men I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Last night... I don’t know what came over me. I’m usually not so aggressive, especially sexually, and I’m sorry for coming at you like some sort of deranged animal in heat. It wasn’t right and I promise you it’ll never happen again. I know all hope for the two of us being as close as we were is out the window. And I don’t blame you for that, by the way. It’s my fault and I take full responsibility. I just hope, that maybe, in time you’ll be able to forgive me and I can move on from feeling like this. I promise you I’ll get over it, I just need a little time but until then I was hoping we could at least remain friends. I know that’s a lot to ask but I don’t really think I could handle if things continued like this with you ignoring me completely. I know I’m probably being overly sensitive right now but it just... hurts....” you trailed off. Nebraska hadn’t said a word, his body frozen in that spot while his mind raced to process everything you’d just told him.

“Are you finished?” His voice was low, rugged.

“.... yeah, I guess I am,” he could hear the disappointment.

Nebraska walked up to you, cupping your jaw with hand as he captured your lips in his own. You eyes bulged out of your head in shock and for a second he though you were going to push him away.

“N-n-Nebraska I-“

“Shhhh. You got your chance to speak, now it’s my turn,” he returned to your lips, deepening the kiss. You moaned into his mouth as he lifted you onto the bathroom counter. His hands traveled under your skirt, gripping your thighs, undoubtedly his new favorite part of you. You let out a squeak of surprise when he suddenly pulled you flush against him.

“I’ve been agonizing over you since I met you. You think any man could be in proximity to all of this-“ he smacked your ass “and not want to break you in half? If you’re delusional then I’m in this fantasy right with you because I’ve been enamored with you for months. But you just seemed so disinterested I.... I couldn’t... I didn’t know...”

“Hey, it’s alright.” You cooed, cupping his face. He rest his forehead against your own, grateful for the intimacy.

“I just need you to know this isn’t one sided. You have nothing to apologize to me for, not now, not ever.” Nebraska wished he could say more. Wished he could articulate more coherently exactly how deep his feelings went for you. Wished he could express how you made him feel like he wasn’t such a monster, like he was worthy of his own personhood, even if he doubted it himself most times.

Nebraska opened his eyes to see you staring at his lips, the wanton look in your eyes making his cock throb. Yes he wanted to proclaim his undying love and affection for you but he also wanted to fuck you so good your pussy would need crutches the next day.

“C’mere,” he growled lowly and you almost bounced off the counter wrapping your arms around his neck to kiss him. He could appreciate his position of standing between your thighs however he knew realistically he couldn’t fuck you right here in the bathroom. Not with the house damn near filled to capacity. No, he’d have to show a little more restraint for your sake and his own.

“And, Y/N, about last night...,” Nebraska said breaking the kiss. You hummed in reply as you began trailing kisses down his neck.

“How did you expect to give head like that and not have a man fall in love with you?”

~*~

A/N: What y’all think? Told y’all I was gonna give y’all some action if you stuck with me 😘😘 I hope y’all liked this chapter because I actually worked harder on this one than any other chapter so far. As always please let me know what y’all think, it really helps me get ideas for the next chapter. 💕💕🥰

Everything Taglist:

@chaneajoyyy @queennanayaa @ultracrii @notsomellowmushroom@jesforpres @thehomierobbstark @thadelightfulone @amelatonin@quietstorm-73 @destinio1 @wakanda-inspired @wawakanda-btch@steampunkprincess147 @purple-apricots @macfizzle @caswinchester2000@marvelmaree @supersizemeplz @all-the-blog-names-were-gone @savagescorpion @ghostfacekill-monger @raysunshine78 @blessingz2x2@sydneebleu @erikaintdead @amazonian-strap-queen@acceptyourselfloveyourself @kenbieeereadss

Trevante Only Taglist:

@heavensangelxo @scoopdiwoooo @chillavesss @tionneec @l-auteuse@babygurlniah43 @whereistheblow

Old Masterlist: (Will Not Be Used After Completion Of This Series)

@chaneajoyyy @queen-of-the-jabari @queennanayaa @clydevevo @queennanayaa @chaneajoyyy@killmongerthiskoochie @theunsweetenedtruth @blackgirloneshots@blmforeal @erikkillmongerstan @jozigrrl @quietstorm-73@sailorsenshi420 @wakandamama @mxearth @chefjessypooh @macfizzle @chasingsunlight @dameshaemonique @rubiesandravens @raysunshine78 @melaninmarvel l @melanisticroyalty @softnani @vibranium-soul @itstaliaduh @cinki-the-black-goddess @thehomierobbstark @darkangelchronicles@bartierbakarimobisson @doublesidedscoobysnacks@blackpinup22 @tchokemedaddy @clydevevo @amirra88@labelletemps @wawakanda-btch @supersizemeplz @purple-apricots @musicloveand-pride

#trevante rhodes x you #trevante rhodes imagine #trevante rhodes x reader #trevante rhodes

[leowenila]

Alternative Pain Relief

Hi! I am still taking a brief break from my multi-fic to focus more on one shots, I hope that is okay with you all. Here is what I WISH would have happened in the previous episode, enjoy.

Ever since she could remember, the brunette always hated flying and if she was being honest with herself; she had no idea why she allowed Tom Koraick to convince her that going to conferences out of state was a great investment of her time that week. Not thinking to request one of his several private jet services, Amelia positioned her head backwards and shut her exhausted eyes to ignore the plane taking off in just a few moments.

“Good afternoon, passengers. The current time is 12:30 PM, Seattle time and we will be reaching our final destination of San Diego in approximately three hours. Thank you and enjoy your flight.” The overhead speaker sounded as a lady spoke into the machine, causing Amelia to become more comfortable in the blue seat.

Several hours had passed since the brunette made her way off of the plane and breathed in the California air for the first time in nearly six years from when she left her family at Oceanside Wellness. Shortly after paying for her rental car, Amelia sat in the driver’s side and unlocked her phone for the directions to the hotel. As she was driving with the windows down and the radio muted as the chilly night time air blew through her now short hair, she noticed a billboard reading that Los Angeles was only ten miles from the current destination point the phone, on a whim she turned left.

If there was one thing that the young neurosurgeon never missed about the golden state, it was the never ending traffic. Often people would want to escape Los Angeles because of the several cars but to Amelia who grew up in New York then going on to living in other major cities, she felt at home. Stopping at a red light in the middle of traffic she massaged her head and looked over to notice a familiar taco truck, memories traveled through her mind as she remembered the first encounter one of her friends from the practice had with Ryan and her. Before having the chance of the memories consuming her, the traffic light turned green and she accelerated the vehicle.

Approximately one hour ago the brunette was supposed be at a dinner with several alternative medicine doctors but instead she turned the keys to remove them and exited the rental car, to make her way towards the beach house in front of her.

Nervous as to what to say or do once someone would answer the door, Amelia decided to go with the flow with who was going to answer the door, so she walked up and began to knock.

“The pizza’s here, I got it!” Amelia heard her former sister in law’s familiar voice, and suddenly felt her heart tighten in her chest. She missed her family more than anything in this world, but at the same time part of her never knew if they would accept her again.

The door opened.

“Hi. I know I am five and half years late and I should have called. This weekend I was supposed to be attending an alternative pain relief conference but there was a part me that couldn’t do it, you know how much I hate needles. Ever since Ryan died, it causes me pain to see them. So when I saw the sign pointing towards Los Angeles, I just followed it. ”

Taking in giant breath after her rambling fit, the brunette looked at the redhead and noticed a giant, bright smile appear on her face. The smile that said welcome home.

Thank you so much for reading! Would anyone like a part two on the group of friends reconnecting?

#seasidescorsone #amelia shepherd #omelia fanfiction

[gateruner]

So this is a personal rambling of sorts.  More me just trying to work out what to do about work. 

I’ve been on this assignment now for about 7 weeks.  And I’ve had extremely trying days and some great days.  No job is perfect, never will be.  But I have to say this assignment hasn’t been what I had envision.

Again, that’s not to say it’s bad.  But I had this idea that I would have all this free time and be able to relax and enjoy my time away.  So far that has not been the case.  At all. 

I work 40-45 hours a week.  And I honestly have to say this is the hardest I’ve ever worked in my entire life.  I’m no stranger to working on my feet, I did the retail thing for several years so that’s not what I mean exactly.  It’s hours upon hours of doing tedious tasks that require the utmost attention.

Sure it can get repetitive, but the mental focus and acuity is so much greater.  I can’t just zone out and go with the flow.  I have to assess and review every test result before I release them and that gets very draining after a while. 

So after 8-10 hours on my feet, non stop workflow, I’m utterly exhausted at the end of the day.  There are some days I don’t get a break, no meal break or even a 15 minute break.  I have to set stuff down and run off to go to the bathroom as quickly as I can sometimes.

Now, given everything I just said, I do still LOVE my job.  I love what I do.  I enjoy getting to see new cases and learn new things.  I had much rather be so busy I can’t sit down than staring at the walls (and yes I did have that problem some days at my last job). 

But I didn’t expect the work schedule.  I had first thought I would work 3 12-hour shifts a week.  Giving me 4 days a week off.  But I work 5 8-hour shifts (3PM-11:30PM), rotating every 3rd week for weekends.  On the weekends I’m off the Fri/Mon around it and work 12-hour night shifts (6PM-6AM).

It burns my week and all my free time.  Like now, here I am at almost 2 am awake and writing this because I get home from work at midnight and need some time to wind down before I go to sleep.  Plus it’s the only time I do have to get online or write or do much of anything.

I keep trying to find ways to maximize my time.  I know if I would eat better, I would feel better.  But I don’t cook much because hello, when?!  And I don’t have time to exercise either.

Anyway, the point of all this is that I’ve been asked to renew my contract.  My initial contract ends on December 16.  I had already planned to go home and spend Christmas on vacation and find another assignment to begin after the first of the New Year.

Apparently they are willing to work with that at this hospital and grant me that time off.  I would extend another 13 weeks and that would end on March 17.

I can’t decide what to do.  There are days I’m utterly frustrated with the place.  But I can see that things are trying to change.  They are getting more staff, working to have better coverage, so I want to give it a chance but I can’t take 13 weeks of the same shit. 

No, my schedule wouldn’t change but having a full time supervisor should help and additional people on each shift as well.  But what if it doesn’t?

Add to that the fact that it is harder to find positions at the first of the year because well, everyone else is doing the same thing.  Taking the holidays off and starting to travel again in January. 

A bird in the hand, and all that.  At least I do know if I stay here I have a set job after the first of the year.  And I do have my holiday time off.  I just wonder if I can make it.  Or what would I miss if I didn’t look elsewhere.

I had hoped by now that I would have found my rhythm here.  A balance of work and relaxation.  But I am nowhere near that.  Maybe I can still find it.  I hope. 

The time off for the Convention was fun but it was such a whirlwind event between driving and the actual convention that I never had time to relax. 

I don’t know.  I’m rambling......

I just want to be happy.  Is that too much to ask?

#life #life of a mlt #travel tech #lab tech #travel jobs

[elizabethrobertajones]

Hey you, during the course of this season i Have seen more and more people leave the fandom or grow disinterested in spn, and im confused why that it. I get why maybe s12 wouldnt be a fave season but if I look at the wank and bads of the previous ones (destiel fiasco in/out the show s9, charlies death Dean cruelty to Cas in s10, Dean/baby love interest s11) s12 didnt really do much that would drive people away en masse I feel? Yet it seems like more people left it :(

Heya! :D

Idk, maybe it was that more vocal people drifted off? I always feel like people’s attention spans are usually only a few years or so. I mean, I feel like I’ve been in the fandom a Long Time and I’ve only been here since the end of season 9, so really this is only my 3rd hiatus, and coming up to 4th year watching with fandom, on a 12 year show I’ve been watching for nearly 10 years, for the most part as a moderately casual viewer… I think I clock up about 5 years major interest and then drift, based on me vs several other things like how invested I was in LotR or Harry Potter or Animorphs, or whatever (to go back in time to my pre-teen interests :P) and it’s not a bad thing and I still love 2 of those franchises and have engagement in them but back to being a casual fan (if “religiously watches LotR at Christmas” is casual allowing for cultural/social stuff, but I’m not composing Legolas/Aragon smut in my teenage journal in secret code any more :P) 

Anyway the season 8 bubble of fandom could be deflating about now - that’s long enough for people to feel they’ve given the show their full attention and it’s still going so it’s getting tiring. That’s the major feeling I get - people are exhausted and we had a baby boomer fandom around season 8 so that ~generation~ of fans is now reaching the natural end of its attention span in a very human natural way. But there’s a ton of new or newer fans who are still enjoying the heck out of it, and the fandom’s still huge and full of people with a commitment to the show or ships. And some people don’t work like that and are loyal from start to finish or commit to TV shows fully to see them to their end. I would dump a show I was getting bored of but come back to watch the end later in a big marathon to find out what happened, but Supernatural hasn’t given me a reason to get totally un-invested until that time… I suspect a lot of people will watch the entire show ONE DAY but don’t want to do fandom and give it all their leisure time any more either.

[under a cut for meandering rambling]

But yeah I think you’ve named some pretty big mass exodus moments (I would like to clarify “Dean/baby” is “Dean/Amara-as-an-infant” right? Because Dean/Baby totally was a thing in 11x04 and it was GLORIOUS :P) and I feel like I DID lose people from my dash all through the time I’ve been watching. Heck, I hit up fandom right after 9x18, and started following people, and that was the JIB of “we don’t play it that way” so I immediately was following several abandoned blogs and I’d barely even started to get to know the landscape :P I feel like people HAVE been jumping ship the entire time and I remember most of those instances as sadly clearing several favourite people off my dash or turning them into different fandom blogs that I eventually unfollowed out of confusion… 

I don’t know, I think people leave when they want to leave because as long as you like the core of a thing and it holds your interest, you can forgive or ignore or scowl at but hold out for better the bad bits and problematic parts. I’m sort of weary of them killing all the women and PoC but I’m still at the stage where I identify it sucks, but I still care too much about the main characters that I’m sort of stuck on this ride with them. 

(I have 2x21 paused on the screen next to me right as Sam meets all the special children, aka introducing Lily the lesbian who dies horribly as a disposable red shirt to show how awful this situation is, and Jake, a black guy whose power is being super strong and to fall to Azazel’s manipulation, kill Sam, and then get killed with extreme overkill by Sam. In the same season he set the cops on Gordon, also a black man who was really aggro and cruel, but in the next season becomes a monster and Sam kills him also one of the most brutal kills he has up there with Jake. Basically, the show’s always had some issues and if we carried on watching all the way to season 12, well, apply self-reflection, but at this point if you’ve been watching as long as I have, you just kind of accept the show sucks at certain things, and for ME personally it’s not kicking off the sort of weariness that others felt about Billie and Alicia and Eileen being killed off this season)

… I don’t really have a point, expect about the demographics of fandom during season 8 getting to the end of their interest now. I don’t think EVERYONE who did will leave, and we’re getting fresh blood all the time, but I think that’s just part of the nature of being in fandom. I don’t think season 12 is particularly bad from my experience, although some pretty high profile bloggers have gotten exhausted - again, they’ve been maintaining blogs and producing content since single digit seasons so they’ve contributed a LOT to the fandom and there’s a fatigue about contribution as well… 

That’s partially why I meta and gif and write fic and occasionally make random shitposts… I don’t want to burn out because any one of those things on its own can get pretty boring, even writing fic. Or especially, idk, as a writer I tend to bounce around projects, so this is keeping me weirdly focused on writing my original fiction on one side of my brain and fan fic on the other and it seems to be a better way of splitting my attention… But I digress. :P 

I know how to manage my own brain to some degree but I have a lot of time to contemplate and self-reflect on why I’m in fandom and what I get out of it, and mostly I just conclude I’m bored and house-bound and I’ve found a few tried and tested things that get me some positive attention in a non-weird rat with a pleasure button way like people running hate blogs or something… But I know my own head and that I can get bored of stuff so I marathon a lot of other shows and think about other things than fandom stuff as much as possible and just let this be the gutter my brain drains into when my attention span is too shot to hell to do anything else and I just want to slump over a keyboard and do the easiest activity I know bar playing Animal Crossing for hours. 

Other people with busier lives and actual jobs and energy and limbs that don’t just randomly stop working when they do anything for more than 5 minutes and so on might not be casual fans but they make a certain space in their life for fandom and get out of it what they need but it’s a high quality demand thing so if their carefully allocated me-time isn’t rewarding them like it should it’s totally their right to go find another OTP to amuse themselves with a fandom producing stuff they want to see and a media source that’s giving them what they want immediately and in a way they don’t have to “look for scraps” as some people were saying about Destiel in season 9, 10 and 11 while things were thinner on the ground.

And as one of the too-much-free-time fandom contributors, I’ve got an enormous luxury to stick out things people who don’t have time for being jerked around or over-analysing to find what they want to see have… Although I’ll try and pass on my thoughts for the people with less time to think them to try and help them enjoy themselves as much as possible :P Anyway I think a whole range of reasons happen that people might get fatigued of the show especially as lives change and people blogging enthusiastically one day might get a job or a new relationship or a dog or SOMETHING and just not spend quite so much time online and then discover they don’t NEED to spend so much time on fandom, and drift naturally… Then try and find some reason on the show they’ve stopped watching, but often it’s just that things look worse after time away when the spark has started to fade because it’s not being nurtured in the same way any more. 

And 12 years is a LONG ASS TIME to be invested in something, so I think in general the fatigue or changing interests is all over the place and we might see it more and more as people drift… People who might watch it all as a catch up one day maybe a year or two after the show ends, but just don’t have the patience to stay in fandom and put in that energy over and over and over. 

Also the show is in a really weird place where it has some of the best writers it’s ever had in Berens and the newbie writers, and Dabb’s doing some fascinating things with the plot, but Buckleming are the executors of the story, in several interpretations of that phrase :P And there are people who skip MotW and find them unimportant or would judge the season on the plot, not the heart of the story… It’s a pretty precarious place, quality-wise. I think season 11 and 12 are a proper like, silver age revival of the MotW (with Nancy Won and Robbie giving last season a massive boost) where I think those episodes are really innovative and interesting, and the writers are being allowed a lot of freedom to play on THOSE canvases, but while the character development and *reasons* for the story have been fascinating and important, obviously 5 of the plot episodes this latest season were Buckleming and crucial to watch to know wtf was going on, even though the writers of those episodes seem to have such a terrible problem with hating the audience (literally, it’s in their scripts and off-screen comments), the genre, second drafts, common human decency towards characters and understanding why they’re important, pacing, you name it… :P So the show literally has 2 faces these days and depending on which one you see when you think of season 12, probably defines how you feel about the show as a whole and all that. I treat the plot episodes these days as a necessary evil between episodes written by people who actually like the show and care about it and its characters (see also: my non-stop sobbing about 12x22 since it aired)… But seeing the other face can really cast a cloud over the show and I’ve seen it make people wonder why the other writers even try. (I mean Perez did an incredible salvage job on Crowley in 12x15 only for it to immediately get yanked away again the next time BL wrote him and I think only they really got to play with him for the rest of the season, meaning all that work to make it seem important and thematically relevant that Perez had set up in 12x12 and messed with in 12x15 ended up being for nothing and Dabb had no time to do anything deep with Crowley, because 12x13 turns out to be the big Crowley & Rowena farewell episode, except for how it flubbed the entire premise of Grand Send Off Episode a la 7x10 or something despite all the ingredients being there…)

I am just rambling now so… Gonna hit post. Hope this makes sense :P This is just my interpretation of how people are feeling/how fandom as an entity seems to work, so it’s pretty subjective and others might feel very differently especially people who have been in negative echo chambers while I’ve built myself a reasonably positive one plus SENSIBLE and CONSTRUCTIVE wanky criticism that doesn’t go off the deep end :P

#Asks #fandom problems #dabb vs cars

[love-the-bug-blog]

An Expats Exit Strategy

China 1 - Tourism 0

The following words are an opinion only. It’s meant to enlighten, educate and please anybody who decides to read it. Enjoy…with Empathy.

June 2016

We decided to move from Hanoi, Vietnam to Beijing, China.

First mistake….

August 2016

We left Hanoi to fly to Beijing.

Second mistake….

The best place to begin is at the beginning.

Boarding the plane with a promise of riches, glutenous food and a life of leisure punctuated only by bursts of culture and short periods of teaching English in a popular language centre seemed like an idea sent from the heavens. The phrase “If it seems to good to be true then it probably is” springs to mind.

And, in a nutshell, it was.

We should have known from the second we got on the plane that things were not as they seem. The surprisingly long flight from Hanoi to Beijing started in a regular fashion. Joyous excitement and mild IBS mixed with a dodgy airplane meal and trying to figure out what the lady at the check in counter was gesticulating at when she spoke to us in Chinese for several minutes despite our protests. Being Irish, and naturally positive we nodded with vacant smiles on our faces and decided she was probably just explaining the usual tripe that gets explained at check in desks. Don’t bring liquids through security, your bags are marginally overweight, the country you’re traveling to will suck the soul out of your body etc etc.

Despite us booking our flights directly to Beijing we were forced to land in Guangzhao where we were forced to exit the plane (with all our baggage) and go through customs. At this point it might serve us well to mention that we had a very short layover, somewhere in the region of two hours. Which, in any other country in the world would be plenty to get through customs and make it to the boarding gate with some time for a bathroom visit for the IBS to rear its ugly head. No pun intended.

Customs was/is/will always be a joke. There must have been 300 people lined up like cattle at a mart waiting to get to the customs booths. Only a few of the booths were open and housing some of the meanest looking agents you could possibly hope to come across. Long story short…we missed our flight.

We approached the desk and pleaded our case. We met a young gentleman, lets call him “Bruce”. “Bruce” was of usual Chinese build. 5’ 4” and about 55kg with absolutely no muscle tone on him at all and in dire need of a ham sandwich.

We explained to him that we had missed our flight because of a delay in customs and we wanted to find out the quickest possible way to rebook our flights.

“Bruce” stared back with a blank stare…

This was to become a stare we were forced to grow quite accustomed to over the preceding 12 months .

“Bruce” and his bowl haircut tapped furiously on his keyboard and shouted loudly at his colleagues sitting beside him for what felt like an eternity. He guided us to a steel bench and asked us to wait. Or at least we think he did.

Sitting on the bench thoughts drifted to the collection agent who was supposed to pick us up in Beijing international airport at 10.00pm that night. We took out our phones and found that they didn't work in china. No shock here. One was an Irish phone and the second a Vietnams phone so why would they work?

But Wifi….wifi works everywhere. And especially in an airport. An airport..where people wait for hours for their flight, where access to the internet is quite important and sometimes, a vital necessity.

No joy. No wifi in the airport. No hope of getting a message to the agent who was supposed to pick us up.

IBS decides to say hello again…FML.

“Bruce” has seemingly forgotten about us. He seems to be smiling a lot considering he’s very close to being pulled across the counter.

We sit patiently until I approach him, under strict instructions from my partner NOT to assault him. Which i thought was a bit much.

He saw me coming and quickly resumed furiously tapping on his computer. The cheeky bowl topped fucker!

I stood menacingly over him and asked through gritted teeth what our plan was.

He didn’t blink, he printed off two tickets and handed them to me.

The dick!

We probably would have sat there for another few hours before he would have thought to approach us and hand us the tickets.

He got off with a light verbal warning and we headed to our gate of choice. Hereby known as Hells Gate.

We landed in Beijing nearly three hours late. We frantically debarked the plane and frantically searched for our luggage and then we frantically made our way through the arrivals gate hoping against all hope that somehow the collection agent had pieced together that we experienced difficulty on our journey.

Nope. Not in China.

We were on our own. In a strange country. No phones. No wifi. No internet points.

But hey, this is china. The most populated country in the world. Where 1.6 billion people live and work and travel. An information point will surely be able to help us sort out the predicament we have found ourselves in.

Nope. Not in China.

Not a word of English. This waste become a regular thing throughout the year.

But we’ll get to that.

So there we are, stuck in the Airport, exhausted and genuinely confused. We had no way to contacting anyone. No one knew where we were. What had happened to us? Did they care? Apparently not.

We wandered around for what seemed like hours, up and down escalators, looking for some sign of familiarity that might be our saving grace.

Nope. Not in China.

Eventually we found a nice lady who agreed the let us hotspot onto her wifi and send an email. We did.

And got a response saying the collection agent had left and headed back to the city.

After a long and arduous day traveling we had eventually sorted out our issues and things were starting to look up.

Nope. Not in China.

Our collection agent spoke broken English and was about as pleasant as a sexual education class from your granny. He greeted us coldly and grabbed Emily's bag and walked off through the sliding doors and off towards his parked car where we had the pleasure of meeting a loud, brash American girl who despite being only 22 had 6 years teaching experience under her belt.

After maybe an hour of driving we pulled up outside a dive of a hotel and he gruffly told us to get our as he grabbed Emily's rucksack from the boot and walked crankily towards the reception area.

At last. A hotel with a reception. Someone will speak English here.

Nope. Not in China.

After much moving of hands and sweating of brows and slight grumbles suggesting the IBS was not yet finished we produced our passports and were pointed to an elevator where we made our way to a room with two single beds and a prostitutes business card slid under the door. Classy shit.

A quick shower and a good nights sleep and a full day tomorrow with nothing to do but explore this city looked promising. As our heads hit the pillow we gratefully accepted the sleep that quickly descended upon us as the promises that were made to us overshadowed the disaster of the last 24 hours.

Surely things would get better.

Nope. Not in China.

Now we have the start of this little rambling out of the way we can get down to the nitty gritty of recanting some funny stories and situations have found ourselves in over the past year. They are all as true as can be…unfortunately for us.

THE ‘MY FIRST DAY’ INCIDENT

We joined First Leap. It’s a huge language centre based in China. We requested Beijing because we thought the language barrier and western society might be more prevalent here than in some of the other cities.

We were wrong. Fuck!

We trained for two weeks at the company HQ where we were brought to our nerves end by a group of “trainers” who were barely in their twenties telling us both to smile more. This didn't go down well. The more they told us to smile the more we scowled.

Now, let me be clear, this was my first teaching job so I did find the training helpful but they went about it all the wrong way. Making us teach certain scenarios in front of the rest of the trainees who pretended to be children wasn't as industrious as they probably planned. Either way, we did it. Two long hard weeks and we were ready to step into the fray and impart our wisdom. Needless to say…the training did fuck all to prepare me for what was to meet me.

Now, Emily has plenty of experience. Many years of standing in front of young minds and trying every possible method to try and get them to remember what a Cat is. She was and Is a natural.

Me…No one would describe me as a patient man. Nor would they ever suggest in good conscience that I would make a good teacher. Either way, this was the life I have chosen for the next year.

First day, First class.

I had a Scottish teacher, Darren, rampant closet case who had the uncanny ability to turn his thick Glaswegian accent into a south Californian twang at the drop of a hat and his job was observing me to make sure I didn’t scare the children or make them cry.

So I step into the classroom and see all the children running around and I decided to express my authority as the new teacher in a proactive way the best way I knew.

So gather up all my courage and let a mild roar out of my mouth “Hello everyone, It’s time for class now SIT DOWN”.

I didn't see the kick coming, it was all a blur, all I can tell you is that it was possibly the sweetest hit you could possibly imagine.

BOOM. Some little Chinese fucker spin kicks me right in the family jewels.

Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

Down I go…like a Thai hooker.

I don’t remember who started laughing first but I can assure you it wasn’t me.

I retreated to the safety of the hall to nurse my wounds and think to myself where I went wrong in life.

THE SHOPPING INCIDENT

China has their equivalent of Tesco. They call them Lotus or Lotte Marts.

They are huge sprawling building where you can find all the basics one needs when residing in China. Bread, Vegetables and Washing detergent. All the basics.

Now, we were fortunate to live quite close to a aforementioned facility. Warmly known as “Ram Alley Shop”.

It received this strange yet highly significant name due to the large Ram who is tied to a car outside the alley leading to the shop. This Ram is morbidly depressed and fears for its life on a regular basis. It is tied to the old rusted structure of the car with a 6 foot length of frayed rope. We presume the ram, if blessed with nimble fingers, would tie a knot in the rope and hang himself. Either way, hence the name “Ram Alley”.

The story continues…Emily is in work, I’m home early from a field trip to the Coca Cola Factory with several dozen unruly Chinese children. I’ve decided to surprise Emily with a steak and potato dinner so I hit “Ram Alley” to get the supplies. Obligatory sympathy for the Ram ensues and I hit the market.

I’m wandering around picking up the essentials when I turn into the dairy section and I’m confronted by…and I have no nice way of saying this…A child taking a shit on the floor.

I freeze, mainly because I have never seen a child take a shit..in a bathroom let alone in a shopping centre.

My eyes dart around looking for the bewildered mother who is looking for her missing child hoping that when I point in the direction of the child she will do her motherly duty and take care of the…situation.

Nope. Not in China.

Mother approached, mother grabbed child. Mother exited the area with the child leaving an abnormally large pile of child shit on the tiled floor.

I quickly maneuvered the trolly past it and headed for the checkout still in a state of mild shock.  

Note: They recently built a large wall around where the ram was “housed”. We presume he’s still there. But hope that he’s not.

THE NOODLE LADY “RAIN” INCIDENT.

Noodle lady. Our mother away from home. Not a fucking word of english. Bad teeth. Worse Hygiene. And without doubt the best noodles and dumplings we’ve had in our lives.

She operates a very small and very dirty shop on the way from the Subway stop to our apartment complex and is a vital source of nutrients on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. We work late on these days and most places close in China around ten o’clock. So it provides limited options for cuisine.

Enter noddle lady. She smiles and makes our order most work nights as her small child plays paper, rock, scissors with Emily. He’s learning English in school and spouts random words at us.

“Chicken”…Yes, very good.

“Blue”…Excellent.

But thats about it.

About a month into “dining” there I felt comfortable enough to pick him up playfully throw him in the air. He was about 20kg so it wasn't exactly strenuous.

I grab him under the arms and lightly toss him into the air catching him as he descended. He didn't smile…in fact, he looked in a touch of discomfort. As devilment quickly turned to worry I lowered him to the ground wondering internally if I had hurt the young lad. He grasped at his chest and as he pulled his T-shirt away from his light frame I spot the eight inch scar on his breastbone. A sign of major heart surgery. Oops.

Needless to say I haven't touched the little fucker since as running the risk for manslaughter and spending twenty years in prison for killing a six year old boy with a mistimed game of “airplane”.

FML

Noodle lady has thrown us a few surprises in our time here too mind you. There was the old “cockroach” in our dumpling box. That one is always a classic.

Or quite recently, when we returned home from work with Jack, our large predominantly loud Scottish friend. Noodle lady beckoned.

We ordered and stepped to the door. People can smoke wherever they want in China. It’s shit. So we stepped just outside the door to get some fresh air and stay cool.

Just as we stepped outside Jack asked us did we “feel rain?” in his thick Scottish drawl.

We did.

It was definitely starting to drizzle. We didn't panic too much. It was a warm night and it was only a drizzle. It took us about ten seconds of looking up into the night sky to realize something was wrong.

It wasn’t rain!

We jumped out of the way when it dawned on us.

Right above the noodle shop is an apartment and in this apartment lived a little boy and sometimes the little boy likes to piss off the balcony onto unsuspecting foreigners trying to get fed after a day of teaching.

This is frowned upon in most countries.

Nope. Not in China.

Getting pissed on whilst waiting for dinner is a must do that the guide books sometimes neglect to mention.

Either way, Noodle lady is the bomb. She smile regularly and looks constantly exhausted. She is open at 7.45am every weekend when we are going to work and on numerous occasions when we have drunkenly returned from Sanlitun (Bar area) or from a late night Visa run from HongKong we have found her and her husband standing outside at midnight waiting for a stray customer to get his food or perhaps a late beer.

Our order usually consists of two portions of dumplings and two portions of fried noodles with veg. It costs us 26RMB which converts into about 3.39 Euros.

A bargain.

We leave next month and we have saved all the small coins and small notes that are not worth converting into our currency and we intend to give them to the young lad.

Not the one who pissed on us. The one I nearly killed.

Might get him something nice.