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seedlessmuffins · 1 year

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hello beautiful people! i have decided to make this for anyone looking to get into a new sport, and here is my pitch your new sport should be hockey! i present to you; an intro to hockey (for footie fans)

*warning: this is long! very long! i would appreciate it if you read the whole thing, but you dont have to, mwah!*

the sport

ice hockey is a sport played by players on skates on a surface of ice. i will be referring to it as hockey from here on, because (and no offence to field hockey at all) ice hockey is the ultimate hockey and it would be blasphemous to refer to it otherwise! in hockey, there are two teams on the ice, and each player uses a stick (commonly made of carbon fiber, usually as tall as the player’s nose) to control a rubber puck to get it into the opposing team’s net. the ice is surrounded by boards (the white part covered in ads at the bottom) and the glass (the glass on top) and there is netting on top of the glass behind each net to prevent pucks from going into the stands

KEY POINTS

there are four positions in hockey: goalkeeper (goalie), defender (dman or simply d), winger (either left wing or right wing), and center

defence and goalies perform basically the same role as in footie (and there is no equivalent of a midfielder), but along the attackers the roles are reversed. the center is usually the playmaker who can track back to defend and create plays, while most wingers are known as goal scorers. that said, because there are only 5 players on the ice at a time, there is no “pure goal scorer” or stiker equivalent because there simply is not space for one on a team, everyone needs to create and score. there are 4 lines of forwards and 3 lines of defense that rotate on and off the ice, with the best players on the top line or on the top d pair

games are 60 minutes with 3, 20 minute periods. in between each period is a 15 minute intermission in professional games. the clock stops every time the whistle is blown, so there is no such thing as injury/stoppage time (because we just… stop the time). players don’t play the whole game, they play in 30 second to 50 second shifts. the best forwards usually play between 18 and 23 minutes a night, top defenders play between 25 and 30 minutes a night. goalies are the only ones that play for a full 60

after every whistle, the game restarts with a faceoff, which is like a tip off in basketball. the two centers face eachother and the ref drops the puck in between them and the centers try and pass it backwards to their teammates

there are no such thing as ties! ever! they got rid of them in 2005. if teams are tied after 60 minutes, they go to a 5 minute, sudden death overtime. first to score wins and the game is over. if teams are still tied, they go to a shootout (basically penalty kicks)

equipment is worn by all players including a helmet, neck guard, shoulder, elbow, and shin pads, “pants” (basically thick shorts that protect the thighs”, gloves, and skates. also they have their sticks

the rules

there are a couple main rules of hockey, some which are the same as footie (offsides are equally hated in hockey). if you break these rules, there are four kinds of penalties that can be called. these penalties result in a skater going to the penalty box (the box) for a certain number of minutes, so the other team has one extra skater. this is known as a power play for the team with an extra skater, and for the team with a guy in the penalty box, it is known as a penalty kill. there isn’t really a build up of these penalties, like one guy can get 5 or 6 in a game and still be ok to play. the least amount of people that can be on the ice is 3, so the biggest advantage is 5 players on one team and 3 on the other. minor penalties end when time is up or the team on the powerplay scores (whichever comes first), and majors end when time is up even if the other team scores.

(naughty boys sit in the time out box)

types of penalties

two-minute minor: minor penalties and the player goes to the box for 2 minutes. examples are tripping (when you trip another person with your stick), elbowing (when you elbow someone), slashing (when you take your stick and slam it on someones wrists), roughing (a minor fight) or even diving

four-minute double minor: this is just a bad minor where the person gets a minor injury, the best example is high sticking (where you hit someone in the face by lifting your stick over shoulder level), where you can get a double minor by making the other player bleed

five-minute majors: when an action results in an intentional injury, especially bleeding, or a fight (big fights, like ones that involve gear coming off and punching the other person’s head into the ice, is what gets a major). best example is cross checking to the head, which is when you use your stick to hit someone in the back of the head/neck to push them down to the ice (very fun)

game misconduct: ten minute penalties that get you kicked from the game. this does not result in a power play or penalty kill, you just get kicked out until 10 minutes is up. idrk this one, its pretty rare and so the refs usually just explain the circumstance

penalty shot: exactly like a penalty kick in soccer, it happens when a penalty occurs when the player is on a breakaway. this is very very rare

refs

depending on the ref, you can get away with a lot more or a lot less. theres a phrase called “putting the whistles away” which occurs in big games usually where refs don’t call penalties. refs also call penalties sometimes to “even out” the amount of penalties each team has. depends on the guy

amount

usually, each team gets about three penalties a game, sometimes more sometimes less

the leagues and the season

there is only one really big professional league (we will call it the champions league equivalent), the national hockey league (nhl) that plays in the us and canada. there are several smaller pro leagues in other countries, such as the khl (russia and eastern europe with one team in china), the shl (sweden), and liiga (finland). this section will talk about the nhl, but im pretty sure it is the same or very similar in the european leagues as well

divisions

the league is split into 2 conferences, east and west with 2 divisions in each conference. each division has 8 teams.

east has the metropolitan and atlantic divisions, and includes all teams on the east coast of canada and the us, such as the pittsburgh penguins, the tampa bay lightning, and the toronto maple leafs

west has the central and pacific divisions, and includes all teams in the middle and on the east coast of canada and the us, such as the colorado avalanche, the vegas golden knights, and my vancouver canucks

regular season

regular season is made up of 82 games, and these games are used to get points to make it into the playoffs

points: a win is 2 points, a loss in overtime or a shootout is 1 point, and a loss in regular time is 0 points

playoffs

the top three teams (points wise) in each division, as well as two wild cards from each conference go to the playoffs (16 teams total). they compete in a four round bracket to get to the final (like the world cup without the group stage)

each playoff series is a best of 7 series, so you have to win 4 of 7 games to win the series. the games alternate, two at home, two away, and then home away home. sometimes, teams have to travel between the two stadiums overnight (and they can be as far away as like 3,000km!)

being “swept” is when you don’t win a single game and get eliminated 4-0 on aggregate (which is on wins, not goals). if your team wins 4-0, you “swept” the other team

game 7: game 7 in the stanley cup playoffs is the best hockey you will ever see. two teams at the peak of their powers with everything on the line. its like a champions league final.

the stanley cup, or the cup, is the trophy that can be one. there is no “keeping” the cup, there is only one and it has every player, coach, and manager’s name who have ever won the cup on its surface. there are various bands, and when one runs out of space it is “retired” in the hockey hall of fame in toronto, canada. its a pretty cool trophy

cup days is the day each player on the winning team gets to spend with the cup. they take it to their hometowns usually, they have been taken to childhood rinks, churches, mosques, on boats in lakes, on helicopters, and of course, people eat and drink out of it!

other fun facts that i think are cool

goalies: goalies can be “pulled” during the game to add another skater on the ice. this usually happens during a powerplay (for a 6 on 4 advantage) or during the last few minutes of the 3rd period when a team is down by 1 goal. this results in an empty net, and two things happen: the team with 6 players uses the extra player to their advantage and scores, or the team with less players just chips the puck down the ice and scores in the net (called an empty netter)

goalies also have the protection of the team, if someone hurts the goalie the whole team will fight them. goalies are precious and deserve hugs. hug your goalie yall

international hockey: because of politics between the ioc and the nhl, nhl players haven’t played in the olympics since 2014. there also was a hockey world cup, but that has only been held 2 times (in 2004 and 2016) and there are no plans for a return until 2024 at the earliest. this is a sensitive subject, and it is bad for the sport, but no there isn’t really an international, best-on-best tournament in hockey at the senior level right now

world juniors: there is one at the u-20 level though! the world juniors happen every year from december 26 to january 6 or 7, and it is the best players from each country under 21. usual countries that participate are canada, us, finland, sweden, germany, czechia, slovakia, switzerland, luxembourg, and latvia. russia was also involved, but has been excluded due to the war in ukraine.

relegation: there is no such thing! everyone stays in the nhl. in order for teams to stay balanced, there is a salary cap (a limit to how much money you can be paying players each year) which i think is $88 million right now, so all teams have to spend the same amount.

the messi/ronaldo rivalry: there is a hockey equivalent (i mentioned it in a previous post about hockey), which is the sidney crosby/alex ovechkin rivalry. they have been competing since 2005, and they are actually the same ages as ronaldo and messi too. they are both phenomenal, and there have been some historic fights and games between the two over the years.

longevity: because it is such a high contact sport, the longevity in hockey is a lot less. it is better now, but most players retire between 33 and 38, with goalies usually retiring later and defencemen (who usually get into fights) retiring earlier.

goals and assists: goals and assists are valued equally in the nhl, both called points. a point is a goal, an assist, or a secondary assist (you passed to the assister). most nhl games have an average of 6 goals a game, its quite high scoring, although this season the highest scoring game was 10 to 4. some games go to shootout and end 1 to 0.

in shootout, it isn’t like footie where it would show the score as a tie and then the number of shootout goals that went in, it shows the winning team’s score as if they scored another goal and where it would say “FT” it would say “SO” for shootout. for overtime, the score would show “OT”.

where to watch the nhl

most hockey games start at 7pm local time, which are local timezones across north america (pst, est, ct, and mt). you games for free on websites like atdhe.tv internationally, and if you are in the us and have an espn subscription, you can watch it there (im assuming you haven’t read this far if youre canadian lol). there are between 2 and 15 games every night from october until june, it is so much fun and there’s so many options!

if you’ve read this far i love you and i hope you want to watch hockey now! i would love to talk hockey with anyone who wants to learn more! mwah ily besties 😚🫶

#k talks hockey #k the hockey prof???#hockey for my footie friends #k converts her footie friends to hockey friends!#if you read this whole thing i might just have to kiss you 😚🫶#please please let me know if you like this and this is helpful #i love talking hockey #this also doubles as an intro to canadian culture ig?#hockey is to canada similar to what footie is to south america #not the same but pretty similar #enjoy besties 🫶

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seedlessmuffins · 1 year

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after 2 nights, 8 playoff games, 16 teams in various states of preparation for playoff hockey, many controversies and somehow finding the time to watch at least two periods of every game, i have my analysis of every game 1 of the stanley cup playoffs. these are just general thoughts, theres no possible way i could do detailed positional analysis when there were multiple games going on at the same time. i did my best, i hope you enjoy!

NIGHT ONE

carolina hurricanes vs new york islanders, 2-1

game at a glance: clean, traditional hockey

this was the first game i watched, and it was a good way to start of this year's playoffs! it wasn't the most exciting game, but the hurricanes were playing good, clean hockey with beautiful passing and heavy possession, the isles couldn't get the puck away for long enough to have many high danger chances. the canes defense, especially burns, had such a good night, which was good because raanta had a truly bad bounce. isles forwards were ghosts, they didn't produce anything of note, and shoutout to the canes' sebastian aho who scored the first game of the playoffs! the crowd in carolina was great, very loud, they were very optimistic and cheered for most of the plays, which obviously gave the canes lots of energy! definitely a good way to start!

boston bruins vs florida panthers, 3-1

game at a glance: expectations of greatness

after a historic regular season, anything short of winning the cup is a failure for this boston team. so much so, in fact, that the crowd was chanting "we want the cup" at the end of the third period. there's not much to say about this game, because boston is everything in hockey maximized to be the best it can be, and even missing their captain they played a remarkable game of hockey that was frankly a joy to watch. ullmark in boston's net was outstanding as he has been this season, and lyon in florida's net wasn't, which was to be expected. the crowd was in a celebratory mood, as if this game was a victory lap for the bruins. they can't get to comfortable, but this was fun hockey to watch and i thoroughly enjoyed every second of the two periods i tuned in to.

dallas stars vs minnesota wild, 2-3 (second overtime)

game at a glance: the powder keg exploded

this is a series that i thought would be boring, as neither team is known for super exciting hockey. boy was i wrong, this series i think is one of the most exciting for me right now. score was pretty even, with the teams trading blows, but what really got me was the physicality. both teams were starting fights, checking and hitting each other, and there were lots of penalties given out. the pavelski hit was a big moment in the game. in my opinion? a dirty hit, but it was legal as it was a shoulder-to-shoulder hit, just unfortunate that pavelski hit his head on the ice. going into double overtime just extended the battle, as each team worked to get that third goal which the wild eventually ground out. the goalies on both sides were stand out players, making multiple great saves each, and the man who should've been the difference maker, robertson, was a ghost after the end of the third. definitely a series to keep an eye on, i have a feeling it will be a close one.

edmonton oilers vs los angeles kings, 3-4 (overtime)

game at a glance: the great end-of-game collapse

have you ever seen the hope of tens of thousands of fans die in 20 minutes? the oilers started out so strong with a powerplay goal, and they kept the momentum until there was 10 minutes left in the 3rd period where they just fell apart. a disallowed goal in overtime that left time for the kings to win it was just the cherry on top of an epic collapse. draisaitl did his part for the oilers, but mcdavid didn't make an impact on the scoresheet or in the game outside a few pretty spins. korpisalo was great, and if he keeps playing like he did on monday he could drag the kings out of the first round. the atmosphere in edmonton was electric, they were so loud and when the oilers started their collapse, they started throwing beers on the ice. can't say they aren't passionate, but i think the pressure of doing well in a building that expected so much out of the oilers got in their head in overtime. hopefully, they smarten up for game 2

NIGHT TWO

new jersey devils vs new york rangers, 1-5

game at a glance: young upstarts against the old guard

this was a the most boring game i watched out of the 8, it just really didn't hold my attention at all. the crowd in jersey was lame. i said it! there were so many empty seats and rangers jerseys, and the people who were there were quiet (and left during the game!). as for the game, it was obvious that the rangers had playoff experience and were generally bigger and sturdier as a team, they bullied jersey's smaller forwards especially jack hughes the whole game, so they couldn't get any meaningful possession. igor shesterkin in net and the rangers defence blocking shots did most of the work in ensuring the low scoring chances for jersey, and the only goal, that came off a penalty shot, was more of a consolation than anything after the rangers had controlled the whole game. it will be interesting to see if the devils get more comfortable as they adapt to playoff hockey or if the rangers just eat them whole.

toronto maple leafs vs tampa bay lightning, 3-7

game at a glance: heavy is the king that sits upon the thone of expectations

this was the game i was looking forward to the most, and to be honest i was a bit disappointed. the leafs were so out of it, they looked like they were a minor league team playing against pros. they were able to use their speed and skill for a couple minutes at a time for a few goals, but they couldn't maintain it or use it on the power play to convert their chances, in addition to having absolutely horrendous goaltending (with little defensive support). tampa looked like the season vets they were, roughing the leafs up a bit and keeping to their rigid structure. it was obvious that tampa didn't have the same tricks and speed as the leafs, but by sticking to their structure and playing smart, safe hockey, they thrashed the leafs at home. the bunting hit was stupid, dirty and illegal. i hope he gets suspended, you can't elbow someone in the head and just get away with it. the leafs' lack of confidence wasn't helped by the crowd, who had very high energy but most of it was put into heckling the leafs, who were booed off the ice at the end of the first period. the expectations in toronto are so high, another failure after 19 years of failure is unacceptable. toronto needs to adapt to the pressure or it doesn't look good for them. very exciting watch, even though toronto looked so shaky.

vegas golden knights vs winnipeg jets, 1-5

game at a glance: they're the knights, but couldn’t protect their net

winnipeg looked ready for playoff hockey. vegas didn't. winnipeg looked fast, they played with discipline and their defence was exemplary. they could shut down knights chances and if one got through, hellebuyck in goal was able to shut it down. the knights continually tried to engage the jets in fights, but the jets kept composure and refused to engage. a masterclass in strategy, and the dominated the knights, who seemed to underestimate the jets. unpopular opinion: i really don't like the vegas atmosphere, it feels so aggressively like a less-enthusiastic american football game, i feel like im watching another sport. crowd wasn't great, knights weren't great, but the jets were incredible and their coach's system is absolutely stunning to watch. not my favourite series, but was interesting to see!

colorado avalanche vs. seattle kraken, 1-3

game at a glance: a selection of stars against a balance of powers

the avalanche, the reigning stanley cup champions, were exposed as very reliant on a few stars in this game. without those stars producing points, they couldn't effectively create chances or set the rhythm of the game. seattle, on the other hand, has a pretty evenly dispersed amount of talent between all the forward and defensive lines, which showed as they got scoring and playmaking from pretty much everyone on the team. their goalie grubauer having a great night in goal sealed the deal, and the kraken win their franchise's first playoff game ever. we will see how this series develops, as the avs are a much bigger, tougher team who could bully the kraken with their speed if they control play for long stretches of time. the kraken aren't shrinking violets though, and their ability to smoothly break the puck out of the neutral zone is composed and almost clinical with how they undressed the defensemen who weren't named cale makar. atmosphere was great, i love the crowd in colorado and the in-arena announcer has so many cool sound effects and songs they play which makes the game fun to watch.

TLDR

series i recommend if you want to watch beautiful hockey: boston bruins v florida panthers

series i recommend if you want a close series: toronto maple leafs vs tampa bay lightning

series i recommend if you want to see fights: dallas stars vs minnesota wild

i hope you enjoyed this analysis, and happy watching everyone!

#k talks stanley cup playoffs #k talks hockey #k’s hockey analysis #i tried my best to be impartial for the analysis but i do have grudges against some of these teams #that could be a fun time actually #which of these teams does seedlessmuffins despise #watching playoff hockey is so fun i hope this encourages you to watch!#i will not do a post like this again it’s so much work but for the first game? of course #this isn’t quite tactical analysis but i definitely was doing that on my lil post its #anyways enjoy besties 🫶

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