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#enhypen heeseung angst
gyusrose · 29 days
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➵ you’re so vain -> l.hs
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⚠︎ smut (mdni)
✎ jock!heeseung x reader, enemies to ?????, heeseung is rlly annoying, hate sex ;), hair pulling, dirty talk, unprotected sex, degradation, backshots lmao. i think that’s it?
summary: attending a new school was supposed to be a fresh start for you, trying to be nice to everyone and have new friends, yet coming across lee heeseung threw all of that out the window.
(heeseung x fem.reader)
wc: 3.2k
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your sweaty hands could not be gripping the steering wheel any harder. you wouldn’t call yourself “super shy” but when it comes to a whole new community of people, teenagers, hell yeah you are.
you had to move exactly at the middle of the year due to your mom’s work. they offered her double the salary at the other side of the city, who was she to say no to that? although you were going to miss your friends and the overall environment of your old home, you couldn’t just tell your mom ‘no’, either way her decisions are final.
you just got here two days ago, and to be honest, it wasn’t that bad. the worst thing so far is the fact that the nearest shopping center was 30 minutes away but you’ll live.
you didn’t except your first day of school to be so nerve-wracking. surely you’ll make some friends but who knows what people are like here. eventually, you saw the big navy blue sign with your school’s name on it. it was an averagely big school, bigger than your old one, which also meant more people.
the parking space alone was scary. it was huge yet already full even though it was still fairly early. you went around in circles around the parking lot, trying to find a vacant spot. fortunately you did at the second-to-last line.
as you tried to park, the limited space you had made it difficult to, having to back up and drive in constantly. as you reversed your car, you must have completely forgotten that you aren’t the only one there, feeling a small crash at the bumper of your car.
your eyes widened in panic. you looked back to see what you hit, and with your luck, it revealed at very nice black car, to which you’ve just hit. you tried to quickly get into your parking spot, hoping it was nothing serious, but then someone came walking up to you.
‘shit, that must be the owner’ you saw his red, rather handsome, fuming face.
you got out of your car to confront the first person interaction.
“hey look im so-“
“CANT YOU FUCKING DRIVE RIGHT? YOU HIT MY VERY EXPENSIVE CAR WITH YOUR THING, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?”
oh he was an asshole. you almost scoffed in his face. who does he think he is.
“it was accident that’s all, it was barely a scratch calm down man.”
“IT WAS DEFINITELY A SCRATCH LOOK AT IT! JUST BECAUSE YOU KEEP YOUR CAR LOOKING ALL MISERABLE DOESNT MEAN I WILL, DO YOU EVEN HAVE A LICENSE?”
lord take me back. you were so close to just leaving him there arguing with himself. but you didn’t want to make him even angrier.
“look im sorry! i can pay for the fix up if that’s what you want, i dont know what else to do?”
the boy scoffed and rolled his eyes at your statement.
“you think i don’t have the money for it? please, it shows you’re a newbie around here.”
“i didn’t mean it like that-“
“yo heeseung!! come on bro!” another blonde boy called from afar, hopefully ending the argument y’all were having.
“ watch your back new girl.” with one last glare, he left to join his group of friends.
you rolled your eyes. shiver my fucking timbers, you thought.
you took a deep breath before grabbing your backpack and making your way into school , hoping to never see his face ever again.
>>
you thought that was going to be the end of it all. but oh boy were you wrong. soon you found out that heeseung is the captain of the football team, and pretty much the most popular boy in school. as cliche as it sounds, every girl would drop their panties if he asked them to.
people know he’s not the nicest person ( an asshole) yet they still look up to him. that’s angered you. how are all these people so dumb? just because he’s kinda good-looking? seriously?
over the course of a few weeks, you’ve managed to make some friends, your closest taehyun and Isa. although you tried to block the negativity, heeseung made it really hard. always giving you snarky comments when he saw you around, ridiculing you in front of other people. somehow always finding a way to run into you despite not having any classes together. except gym.
“ bro open your eyes, catch the damn ball!” he yelled from across from you.
you hated sports. even less could you play one, but you gotta do it for the grade.
“the ball was too high up dummy!” you retorted, rolling your eyes for maybe the 100th time in the class period.
if you hated gym before, you definitely hated it more now.
as the period ended, you decided to take a quick shower in the locker rooms since you couldn’t handle being all sweaty and gross throughout the day.
heeseung finished changing and was outside the locker room with his friends, chatting, waiting for the bell to ring. that’s when he may have accidentally eavesdropped the conversation between your two friends, he could barely the names of.
“where’s _____?” taehyun asked isa, noticing how you weren’t with her.
“she’s taking a shower right now, she told us to not wait for her.” Isa shrugged before taehyun nodded.
a beautiful idea popped in heeseung’s brain. it was too good.
he excused himself and sneakily waited by the girl’s locker room, waiting for everyone to come out. once he only heard the shower you were using running, he quietly entered the room. the bell had rang about a minute ago, so the gym was empty, only you and him. the gym teacher god knows where.
he saw his target and rapidly grabbed the pile of clothes sitting on the bench, a smirk evident in his face.
suddenly the shower stopped running, making heeseung hurry and exit the locker room.
the shower felt too good, you think you spent more time that you anticipated to. as you exited the shower tiles, you looked around for your clothes, which you remember clearly leaving them in the bench closest to the shower. you looked around the whole locker room, hoping you were wrong and placed them elsewhere. unfortunately, you couldn’t even find your damn socks.
your biggest fear has come true. you’re now naked, nothing but a towel covering you, this was more than just humiliating. you felt sad, mad, angry, embarrassed all at once. they’ve been stolen for sure, and you were more than sure on who did it.
grabbing your phone you called Isa, to see if she could help you somehow. and she indeed did. bringing you some spare clothes she had. thankfully, you always bring extra underwear since situations like these could happen. you just had to wait for isa for the clothes, yet the five minutes she took felt like five hours. unfortunately, passing period is over, meaning some students are coming in the locker room to change.
many of them just straight up stared at you. giving you weird looks as to why you were pretty much naked in the middle of the locker room, but none had the guts to ask you.
you wished the ground would just swallow you whole. lee heeseung won’t hear the end of it.
“LEE HEESEUNG!” you yelled across the field. he and his friends were siting down eating lunch outside when you spotted him after trying to find him after the stunt he just pulled.
heeseung knew it was coming, giggling with his friends as they heard you yell his name once again. “ oh she’s about to scold me now .” heeseung scoffed but still got up and went over to you.
“yes ma’am?” he said with a smile, you wish you could slap off but you’re better than that.
“YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING THAT WAS?”
“i have no idea what you’re talking about..” heeseung tried acting innocent but failed as he just burst out laughing. you groaned, how on earth is that funny?
“cute panties by the way” he continued to laugh, not sparing a glance at your mad expression on your face.
“you’re such an ass, i hate your guts.” you said leaving him alone, laughing to himself.
“yo bro i think she actually got mad this time.” his friend, jake came over.
heeseung shrugged. “she’s so sensitive, it wasn’t even that bad.”
“i can’t believe he did that…” taehyun said as you told them both what had happened. Isa knew a little bit but not who did it.
“that’s fucked up, what’s he got against you so much?”
you shrugged. “i guess because i gave his car a little scratch, but i guess he took it to heart since he hasn’t stopped bothering me since. he’s a jerk.”
“finally someone who thinks the same as me!” taehyun said making you chuckle.
“then get back at him! you know the one thing that makes him who he is is that damn football.” Isa said.
you tried to be the bigger person this whole time, not paying much mind to his little remarks or pranks he pulls, biting back a little wouldn’t hurt right?
“you know what, you’re right.”
“lee heeseung, mrs. park wants to speak to you.” mr.jung said calling heeseung.
heeseung who was barely paying attention heard his name. his frowned at this. what on earth could she want to talk about with him? either way, he went to her classroom.
he entered the empty classroom to find his coach and mrs.park, waiting for him. what the fuck? heeseung was more confused now. maybe they were going to congratulate him for the good work this semester? his coach’s face said otherwise though.
“there you are, you may be wondering why you’re here..” mrs.park started. heeseung nodded, feeling uneasy.
“a student came forward, showing how you copied word for word her whole assignment, the one i assigned a week ago. i didn’t notice it at first but it’s very clear now, you may know how cheating is unacceptable in my class, i’ve decided to fail you in this assignment, plus you’ll be serving detention this whole week..” she turned to the coach.
heeseung’s heart started beating at a rapid pace, he’s never been caught cheating, and being failed on the assignment that was a big part of his grade, it means he’s most likely failing the class now. the rules for football stated that all players should be passing all of their classes if not, they’ll be dropped….
no no no, the lee heeseung can’t be dropped. he’s the captain! the star player!
“since you’re failing this class heeseung, i think you know what’s about to happe-“
“please coach! don’t kick me out, i’m the captain! what would the team do without me? i’ll get my grade up as soon as possible im-“
“calm down calm down, i’m not going to kick you out, it’s the middle of the season, but unfortunately you won’t be playing the next three games. if your grade is not up by then, then i will drop you. understood?” his coach stated earning a sharp nod by heeseung.
he’s glad he’s still on the team but what’s the point if he can’t play? he’s going to become a joke. the captain that’s a bench warmer. how stupid.
he left the classroom enraged. he knows exactly who did this.
“bro what? what do you mean you ain’t gonna play ?” riki said in disbelief at what his captain just said.
“some snitch told mrs.park that i cheated on the last assignment and coach suspended me for the next three games, and i got detention all week!” sunghoon unknowingly chuckled. heeseung looked at him with a glare.
“what? she got you good, what did you expect hee?” sunghoon kept laughing, making some of the others also laugh silently.
heeseung had nothing to say back, he just rolled his eyes. “tch, whatever.”
nevertheless, you were overjoyed seeing heeseung slouching on the bench. you couldn’t miss this once in a lifetime scenario. obviously you were the cause for it. heeseung asks Isa almost all the time for her notes or to straight up copy her. she willingly let you rat him out after what he did to you.
he can sense how all eyes were on him, but he just tried to block everyone out a focus on the game. he had a poker face on, but deep inside he was irritated . he saw how you were smirking and laughing with your two little friends. you knew what you were doing.
>>
“ahh look who it is, the benchwarmer! “ you said chuckling as you made your way to heeseung.
after the team (barely) won, jake threw an ‘after party’ at his house. even though you don’t normally go to these parties, especially from those boys, you felt like a party would do good with your marvellous mood. something about seeing heeseung’s frowny face made feel over the moon.
“seems like cat got your tongue now huh? dont have anything to say-“
in a blink of an eye you were pulled into a room, heeseung’s fingers wrapped around your neck, pulling your face closer to his.
“what the fuck? heeseung-“
“shut the fuck up.” his hoarse voice caught you off guard. he was actually really mad.
“you think what you did it’s fucking funny? huh? almost getting me kicked out ? “ you’ve never seen him this enraged before. making you almost scared, yet….kinda turned on? no, you hate him, snap out of it! you told yourself yet the wetness in between your legs became hard to ignore.
you didn’t respond. “fuck, you’re so annoying, i can’t fucking stand you. i hate you.” he saw lowly. fuck that was hot.
you spoke before thinking. “then show me.”
not needing to tell him twice, heeseung pulled you completely in. your lips met in a kiss that was anything but gentle, a fierce and consuming clash that spoke longing and raw need.
The kiss deepened, fueled by an unspoken urgency, their mouths exploring each other with a fervor that left y’all breathless. his grip on your neck becoming tighter.
“shit im gonna show you to fucking behave.” he said before pushing you into the bed forcefully. you may have discovered a new kink of yours. watching as he undressed himself and yourself rapidly. feeling his anger through every touch he gave you.
he rubbed through your folds before inserting two fingers aggressively. your body jolted at the sudden move.
“holy shit go softer dumbass.”
“aw you think i give a fuck? suck it up and take it since you think you’re all that.” his fingers pumped faster and faster making it hard for you to answer back to his stupid remarks.
“oh my god..” you tried to pull his hand away before you cum. not wanting to see you orgasm so easily yet.
“just fuck me already heeseung, or is your dick as tiny as your brain?”
heeseung looked darkly at you. that stupid mouth of yours can’t shut up will it?
he retracted his fingers put of you and took his boxers off. wanting nothing more than to prove you wrong.
shit. your eyes went wide at what stood in front of you. saying he was big was an understatement. it was like a zipper for your mouth. how was that thing going to fit inside of you?
“can’t say anything now, can you slut?” he pulled your legs down the mattress to have you at the perfect angle to ram into you.
heeseung ran his til over your folds, teasing his way in. making you aggrevated.
“just put it in for fucks sake!”
“tell me how bad you want it.” you shook your head, no way were you going to beg. no way.
“alright then, i guess im gonna go.” he said letting go of your waist, acting as if he was going to leave.
“okay okay! please fuck me, i want it so bad, i want your big cock so bad heeseung.” heeseung moaned at your words. he didn’t wait any longer and thrusted all of him in you.
you both moaned yet it was more painful for you. you’ve never had something so big inside you before.
“fuck yeah..” he said then grabbing your neck, slightly choking you. your hands went to his biceps, trying to find something to hold on to as the speed he was thrusting in became more hostile.
“fuck me harder, like the asshole you are.” you said in between breaths. heeseung took the challenge and thrusted violently. the skin slapping and wetness of your core could probably be heard in the party outside.
“of course a whore like you would like to be fucked like this.”
before you could respond he pulled out of you earning a desperate groan from you, but then your were flipped, now on all fours and before you knew it he was back in you again. gripping your hip with one hand while he pulled your hair on the other.
“such a tight pussy, you probably fantasized about this am i right?” he said in your ear. you shook your head through your moan.
“in your dreams lee, in your fucking dreams. fuck you.”
“i’m quite literally doing that.” chuckling, he let go of your hair and instead gripped your other hip, going in deeper, nudging your cervix literally driving you to an edge.
“fuck i’m cumming.” you cried out. never has an orgasm felt like this. heeseung was on edge as well, feeling you clench around his dick did it for him.
your climax rose over you, making you fall into the pillow while heeseung kept thrusting until his own organs came over him, pulling out and releasing his white ropes all over your back.
tiredly, he laid besides you in the strangers bed, not knowing what to say now.
you turned to him, smirking. “i think i may hate you even more now.”
1K notes · View notes
amazzwon · 4 months
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my go-to ENHYPEN (hyung line) fics
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°˖➴ Fiancé for Hire
(series)
smut, angst, fluff, non idol au, rich!Heeseung x broke!reader, contract au
°˖➴ Cherry
°˖➴ Cherry II
°˖➴ Cherry III
°˖➴ Cherry Epilogue
rich kid au, 80s au, smut, angst, fluff
°˖➴ Stitch me up
underground fighter!heeseung x nurse!reader, smut, angst , fluff
°˖➴ Rile Me Up
pwp, 6.1k
°˖➴ POOL PARTY
7.3k, smut, fluff, angst
°˖➴ LET’S GET MARRIED
he fell first but she fell harder, childhood friends to a married couple, fluff, 5.1k+
°˖➴ WANT
angst, smut.
°˖➴ CHERRIES
strangers to friends to eventual lovers
°˖➴ NDA
idol!heeseung, fem!fangirl!reader, smut
°˖➴ SURPRISE
smut, fluff, 9.3k
°˖➴ PRETTY BOY
fluff, 0.2k
°˖➴ Dances Avec Les Etoiles
(series)
Prince!Heeseung × Princess!fem!reader, arranged marriage, smut
°˖➴ as long as you'll let me
smut, badgirl!reader x virgin!heeseung, college au, 15k
°˖➴ your lips, my lips, apocalypse
angst, suggestive, implied college! au, 2.0k
°˖➴ hopeless
fluff, high school! au, non-idol! au, 10.8k
°˖➴ YOU CAME AND WENT, JUST LIKE THE SEASONS
lovers to exes, angst, 7.6k
°˖➴ KNOCK , KNOCK
skinship, swearing
°˖➴ TRIAGE
(series)
romance, comedy, fluff, high school, written series
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°˖➴ STRIP CLUB
virgin Jay, crude words, smut, reader works in a strip club
°˖➴ Carmesi
(Series)
ceo!reader x secretary!jay, smut, suggestive, angst, fluff
°˖➴ Stars and Raindrops
highschool au, strangers to lovers, love at first sight, fluff, angst, crack, 23k
°˖➴ A La Folie
(series)
King!Jay × healer!fem!reader
°˖➴ APPLE CIDER!
crying, angsty, hooking up/sex, weed, 7.9k
°˖➴ you, my fate come and kiss me :
fluff-angst, soulmate au, 0.4k
°˖➴ touch me, feel me
Ceo!jay x Model!reader, smut, fluff
°˖➴ situationship!texts
angst, toxic relationship
°˖➴ just for you
fluff
°˖➴ 4 TIMES JAY ALMOST PROPOSED + 1 TIME HE ACTUALLY DID
established relationship au, romance, fluff, 2k
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°˖➴ Cherry Chapstick
fluff at the beginning, smut with plot
°˖➴ Good boy
coworker!Jake x fem!reader, smut
°˖➴ Birthday Sex
smut
°˖➴ LUCK
fluff
°˖➴ kiwi and layla
high school au, f2l, fluff, angst, 26.3k
°˖➴ Royal Sacrifice
prince!jake x maid!fem reader, 7.1k, smut, angst
°˖➴ STRAWBERRY LIPS
fluff, 0.5k, classmates to lovers
°˖➴ cherries
fluff, est rshp, 211
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°˖➴ Heartbeat
Friends with Benefits, smut
lyrics theme — "Ayo Fuck this, are we dating? Are we fucking? Are we best friends? Are we something?"
°˖➴ forbidden attraction
hogwarts, wizard!sunghoon x witch!reader, smut, fluff
°˖➴ star-crossed
prince!sunghoon/fem!reader, fluff, smut, greek mythology, angst, 6.8k
°˖➴ Relaxing
smut, 4k
°˖➴ HEAVENLY
playboy! sunghoon x fem reader, exes to lovers, fake dating, mutual pining, fluff, angst, 9.5k
°˖➴ will you let me
smut MDNI, angst
°˖➴ overtime
office au, fluff, 0.3k
°˖➴ Sparks
angst, 1.8k
°˖➴ BED
fiance!sunghoon x fem!reader, 7.8k
‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡ Headcanons
Enha when their idol!partner has a wardrobe malfunction
Enha when their actress partner films with a hot actor
music bank hosts: idol!enha x idol! reader
the moments that make everyone think you’re dating (all eyes on you)
Enha hyung line reaction to you being bratty
Reaction to you asking them Ass or Tits
JAY tattoos the hickeys you leave
JAY spitting in your mouth
enhypen falling in love with you during hybe game caterers
their "oh" moment (the moment they realise they're in love)
when you play with their hair
when you call them ‘babe’
calling them “husband” trend.
texting them "please don't leave me"
786 notes · View notes
ham-st4r · 1 year
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𝑼𝒏𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔 - 𝑳. 𝑯𝒆𝒆𝒔��𝒖𝒏𝒈
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❦PAIRING: heeseung + female reader!❦
❦WARNINGS: mentions of intimacy, angst, taboo relationship, small age gap, child abuse, cheating, (not reader) mentions of illegal racing & weed smoking, kissing, alcohol, selling drugs, divorce, violence, blood, injuries, cursing, crying (not as intense as it sounds but I did want to make sure I added all the warnings)
❦GENRE: step-mom reader, stepson heeseung, dysfunctional family, slow burn.
❦SUMMARY: in which you move in with your husband after your wedding, everything is perfect except for one thing, no matter what, you can't seem to get close to his son. Even after a year of knowing each other, you hadn't even spoken ten words until his 21st birthday rolled around, and funny enough he was the surprising you.
❦NUMBER OF WORDS: 14,364k
Find your way around!
Hello, this is my longest fic so far, so I hope it's okay. Please leave feedback and reblog! thanks so much, happy reading.
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It had already been two months since you moved in with your husband, and things couldn't have been better. He gave you a key to the house and even bought a car for you as a welcoming gift which you thought was over the top, but he assured you that it was more than okay and that you deserved it, which made you fall for him even more if that was possible.
In the beginning, your parents weren't too fond of you marrying an older man when you were still in your late 20's it took a while to convince them, but he really made you happy, and when you introduced him to your parents over dinner, and they saw how radiant you were when you were with him they gave you their blessing, and you couldn't have been happier.
There was just one tiny little problem.
More like a big problem.
No matter what you did, his son heeseung wouldn't even spare you a glance, not when you first met, not at the wedding, and not since the day you moved in, absolutely nothing.
You knew it was probably hard for him to go through all this, especially as a twenty-year-old getting used to having a mom or (stepmom) all over again, but you've been in his life for about a year now, and he still hasn't warmed up to you yet.
"I don't think he likes me," you sighed as you cuddled up next to your husband on the couch in the living room.
He wrapped his arms around you to comfort you. "Don't worry, honey. I'm sure he'll come around soon. He's just adjusting to the new house and everything," he reassures you.
"I hope so." You said with a sad smile.
That conversation happened last month, and he still hasn't made any effort to communicate with you.
You've tried various things to get his attention, like taking him shopping or making his favorite foods. Nothing worked, but his twenty-first birthday was right around the corner, and you were going to try to use the special day as a way to get closer and bond with him.
You noted that he enjoyed listening to music like a lot, so you had bought him the airpod max hoping he enjoyed them.
You could only hope he didn't think you were trying to buy his affection cause you really weren't. You just wanted to get to know your son.
And speaking of your son, he didn't tell you where he was off to when he left earlier this morning, and when you asked him, he just slammed the door in your face without saying goodbye, which wasn’t surprising to you anymore.
You initially called your husband, but he didn't pick up the phone, which also wasn’t surprising anymore. You figured he was just working overtime like he often does.
But luckily for you, he had given you heeseung's phone number in case of emergencies, and to you, this was an emergency he left in the morning, and it was now midnight with no word from him, so naturally, you were worried about him.
Thankfully your worried heart was put to ease when he answered on the first ring, and you breathed a sigh of relief. "What?" His tone was cold and harsh, just like it had always been, but right now, you didn't care. You were just happy he answered.
"Are you okay? Where are you? What time are you coming home?" You said in a worrisome tone.
You could hear him sigh on the other end. "I'll be back soon" you could barely hear him from all the loud noise in the background.
"Okay, I'll heat up dinner for you when you arrive. Drive saf-" your shoulders slumped down in defeat when he abruptly ended the call.
Another hour had passed, and you began to worry again, but the keys jingling outside the door made you jump to your feet excitedly. At least one of your boys was finally home.
"Hey!" You greeted. "I'll go get you something to eat. I'm sure you're starving" Heeseung didn't even pay you any attention. Instead, he took his shoes off at the door and made his way upstairs to his room.
You could only watch him with a frown on your face once he was out of sight. You could have sworn you smelled the scent of weed coming off him, and you furrowed your brows. You didn't know he smoked, which made you wonder if your husband knew you made a mental note to ask him when he came home from work later on.
Which was apparently not going to be tonight, it was already two in the morning, and you fought to keep your eyes open so you could greet him when he came back, but as the clock struck 2:02 am, you found yourself shuffling off to your shared bedroom drifting off to sleep just minutes later.
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The next morning you woke up to an empty bed, and you assumed you had overslept and hubby was already at work. However, when you turned to face the clock, it was ten in the morning. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, double-checking the time, and your eyes were correct. Maybe he worked all night or had to take the early shift. You'd just have to call him and figure it out later.
You got up and stretched for a while before going to the bathroom to wash up a bit.
Once you finished and went downstairs, you were pleasantly surprised to see heeseung dining at the table. "Morning," you greeted him with your croaky morning voice and a gentle smile as you made yourself a cup of coffee.
He didn't say anything, but that was to be expected. He never talked to you during breakfast. Since you moved in, you never had dinner as a family. It has always just been you and your husband occasionally while heeseung stayed in his room doing god knows what or you and heeseung sitting in absolute silence.
Once your coffee was ready, you joined him and quietly sipped your hot beverage. "I was really worried about you last night," you confess. You didn't want him to get up and leave when you tried to talk to him, but you wanted to express that you cared, and if that made him upset, you were willing to take that chance.
He looked at you briefly and took a spoonful of his cereal.
You took that as a sign to continue. "You don't have to tell me anything, but please just be home sooner than midnight," you spoke softly, just barely above a whisper, so you wouldn't scare him away.
He only gave you a small nod, but that was enough for a smile to spread across your face since he had finally acknowledged your presence.
You and him continued to have breakfast in comfortable silence until the front door opened and startled you slightly. "I'm home~" your husband sang as he stepped inside and took off his shoes.
You got up from your chair and ran over to him excitedly, wrapping your arms around his back and giving him a peck on the lips. "I missed you," you pouted, and he poked your cheek with a smile on his face.
"I missed you more" you grabbed his warm hand and led him to the kitchen table.
"We were just having breakfast. Would you like me to cook you something?" Before he could respond, heeseung had stood up and washed his unfinished cereal down the drain, and took off to his room.
You looked at your husband with sad eyes and sat on one of the kitchen chairs. "Why the sad face honey?" he stroked your cheek with his thumb lightly, and you leaned into his warm touch. "Hey, look at me" he tilted your head up slightly, staring at your beautiful eyes. "You had breakfast together again. That's a win, right?"
You’ve been having breakfast with heeseung since you moved in, and nothing has changed. It didn’t help you get closer with him, but you tried to stay positive, and you supposed your husband was right.
"Right" you got up from your seat and kissed his cheek. "I'll make some pancakes. How does that sound?"
"That sounds lovely." He agreed and gave you that beautiful smile of his.
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"I don't want to kill the mood," you mumbled as you cut into your fresh plate of pancakes. "But last night when heeseung came home, he reeked of weed" you bit your bottom lip nervously as you awaited his reaction.
He just chuckled in response. "Honey, he's been like that for years. Don't worry about it." He dismissed.
"Has he been coming home past midnight for years too?" You hadn't noticed this behavior until last night. Usually, you were in bed by ten, but since you stayed up late waiting for your husband to come home, you were up late enough to encounter this apparent habit of heeseungs.
He dropped his fork and grabbed your hand. "Yes, ever since the divorce," he sighed. "He's just been very troubled. I've tried to talk to him about it, but he shuts me out all the time."
You wonder how bad the divorce must’ve been for heeseung to act this way. Your husband always said it was the past and that he didn’t want to talk about it, and you respected those boundaries, but you were still curious.
"Maybe I should talk to him," you suggested. After all, maybe it was the lack of a mother in his life that made him act this way. Maybe you could be there for him in a way his father couldn't.
He let go of your hand and clenched his jaw. "I told you I've already tried."
"But maybe I could try a different approach" you were adamant about the idea cause if heeseung was struggling. Naturally, you wanted to help him.
"Fine," he threw up his hands. "You'll just be wasting your time" your brows creased in confusion at his response. He had never acted this way before when you and him talked about heeseung's behavior, but before you thought too deeply about it, you assumed he was just tired and let the conversation go for now.
He abruptly stood up from the table and went to the bedroom, leaving you alone with three plates of unfinished food.
Heeseung had just come downstairs, and he looked like he was going out. Judging by the clothes he had on, he glanced at you, and you tried to hide your hurt expression by giving him a weak smile.
He eyed the table noticing there was a plate in front of his chair where he usually sat, and it was untouched.
He checked the time, and he supposed he could spare a minute or two. He rejoined you at the table, devouring your pancakes like it was his last meal on earth.
You smiled slightly as you watched him eat in silence. "Aren't you going to eat?" He mumbles after taking a sip of water.
You nearly jumped in surprise when he spoke to you, but you quickly composed yourself. "Yes," you whispered and resumed eating your pancakes, and even though they were cold, you ate every last bite with a smile, cherishing this rare moment with him.
Once he finished, he took his dishes to the sink and washed them along with the bowl he had left from earlier.
“Bye, heeseung” you gave him a tiny wave from the kitchen that he didn’t bother to return.
He put his shoes on at the door, and without another word, he was gone.
But at least there was progress, or so you thought.
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You're sure that someone would have probably thought you were crazy with just how many decorations you had bought for your son's birthday, but hey, it was your first time celebrating the special day with him, and well, you wanted it to be special.
Unfortunately, earlier in the morning, when you were getting ready to go shopping, your husband informed you he wouldn't be home which totally ruined your whole entire mood. It seemed like everything went against you when it came to getting together as an actual family. If heeseung wasn't abruptly walking out of the room every time his dad entered, then his dad would be leaving for work nothing seemed to be working out for you.
"Can't you just call in? just this one time?" You all but begged him to stay home for Heeseung's birthday.
"No, I can't," he said flatly as he put on his dress coat. "He'll be fine. I always miss his birthday, whether it’s a business trip or for work, and besides, he's got you now" he turned around and flashed you a quick smile.
"Yeah," you mutter sadly while he kisses your cheek and waves goodbye to you.
You sighed at the earlier memory, but you weren't going to let it get your spirits down, especially when heeseung’s room was now decorated from head to toe. You smiled to yourself at the finished product taking a picture and sending it to your husband since he couldn't be there.
Now all that was left to do was wait for the birthday boy.
Heeseung trudged up the stone path to his house, sighing loudly when he saw the empty parking lot, which was a sign that his dad wasn't home.
"Seven years in a row," he mumbled sadly as tears welled in his eyes. He's not sure why he even still cared if his dad celebrated his birthday with him or not.
You'd think after seven years of hating his dad, he'd be over it by now, but he wasn't.
He remembers all those years ago when his mother did her best to make him feel loved going as far as inviting all his friends over to celebrate his birthday, but no matter how many people showed up, nothing could replace the absence of his father, not even the outrageous amount of gifts he received could replace that relationship he so desperately wanted with his dad.
Heeseung doesn't even know when it all started. All he knew was one day, he was a small child enjoying picnics at the park every Sunday after church, and the next moment he was a young teen, and his mom had turned into an alcoholic once she found out her husband was cheating on her, and just like that, everything fell to pieces and the perfect family was ruined all because of his piece of shit father.
Unfortunately, since heeseung was so young back then, he didn't have a choice in who he wanted to take custody of him after the divorce, and sadly there was no chance of him living with his mom. She didn't have enough money and a stable home for him to even stay in, so naturally, he was stuck with his father for the time being.
But now that he's a full-grown adult, he could make his own decisions about where he wanted to live, but stupidly enough, he was waiting and hoping that his father would change and that he would somehow care about him the way he used to but after two years of hoping heeseung had given up and decided to take his life into his own hands.
Which was probably not the best choice, but he needed money to move sooner than later, and a nine-to-five just wasn't going to cut it, especially cause he was secretly helping his mom get by cause, of course, his mother’s well being was no concern of his fathers, So naturally heeseung had resorted to the quickest way to make loads of money by selling drugs, betting, and racing illegally. It wasn't safe, but it was a safe bet to get him where he needed to be, and that was out from under the roof of his heartless father.
Especially right now, he's never wanted to leave so bad the fact that his dad had the fucking audacity to remarry was baffling to heeseung. He had the perfect wife, and he fucked it up for some random woman that he'd never see again, and that angered heeseung to the point that he couldn't even fathom he couldn't believe that his precious mother was brought down and reduced to absolutely nothing at the hands of his own father the thought made him feel sick.
And now that his father was doing the same thing with you made him feel even more sick. He never saw you as his mother. That’s for sure no one could ever replace her, not in a million years, but he could tell you were a good girl, and you were trying, which he appreciated. Even though he didn't show it, and even so, you still did your best and put up with his attitude to bring the family together, and you just had this glow that could change the whole atmosphere from dull and uninteresting to happy and cheerful, something his father didn't deserve he doesn't deserve your kindness because even after he fucked up with his first wife he didn't learn from his mistakes cause he was still going out behind your back every single night.
Heeseung wanted to tell you so badly about his dad’s unholy doings, but he didn't know if that was his secret to tell, so he stayed quiet. But right now, he didn't really care about respecting his father's privacy anymore cause not only was he cheating on his own son's birthday, but he was also out cheating behind your back, just like the old days.
You didn't deserve such treatment in heeseung's eyes. You deserved a real man, someone who could appreciate you for all your efforts and hard work, someone who could be there for you instead of leaving you home alone for ten hours a day, someone who could love you the right way.
God.
Heeseung feels so terrible for even thinking about you like that, but fuck, it was impossible for him not to. You were the perfect wife. Quite literally, everything about you was ideal for him.
He could see himself in his father's position so easily coming home from work to be greeted by you with warm hugs and kisses and a hot meal waiting for him on the table.
Except with him, it would be so different. He would answer all your calls, he would never come home late without telling you first, he'd give you massages when you were tired, and he would appreciate you for every little thing that you do.
Cause that's what you deserved, not a pathetic excuse for a man like his father.
As he got closer and closer to the door typing in the security code, he hadn't realized it yet, but his tears had subsided, and maybe that's all it took was for his dad to miss his birthday one last time cause as he took his shoes off at the front door he didn't have that heavy feeling in his gut anymore if anything it felt like a weight had been lifted and he could finally let go.
This felt like the last time his dad had to prove himself, and when heeseung came home to an empty parking lot, he accepted the fact that his father would never care about him the same way again, and as much as that hurt him in the beginning, it also felt like a relief cause now he didn't have to hang onto any false hope how could he when his own father gave him absolutely nothing to hang onto.
He was finally free, and he accepted his fucked up reality for what it was, something he wished he would have done years ago.
But, at least he can say he tried cause he really fucking did, no matter how painful it had been.
The house was oddly quiet normally. You would have been running down the stairs to greet him, but you were nowhere in sight, which made him frown.
He'd never ever ever ever admit to you that he liked it when you greeted him, that he liked it when you cooked his favorite dishes and liked how you worried about him and his safety when he was out late.
Cause god knows he loves all those things about you. Sometimes he'd leave the house just to hear you say bye, and he knows that sounds pathetic, but it's true.
He hated that he couldn't reciprocate your cheerful attitude. He wanted to so bad, and he almost slipped up so many times, but he was afraid that once that happened, there would be no going back. He was already basically in love with you at this point, and if he had to engage with you every day in a friendly manner, he'd be a goner, so instead, he gave you the cold shoulder and acted harshly towards you and it hurt him to know that he was hurting you, but if he ever acted on his desires for you he knows he'd ruin the family just like his father did, and he never wanted to be like his father ever.
He quietly made his way to the kitchen keeping his noise to a minimum, assuming you must have been tired and had gone to sleep early.
He decided to eat one of the apples you had bought from the market the other day. You had been talking about how good they were, and he remembered the sad look on your face when his stupid ugly, nasty father rejected them, saying. "I OnLy eaT oRgaNic fRuiT."
Oh, how heeseung wished he could have stuffed all those apples down his dad's throat at that very moment.
As heeseung bit into the apple, a smile unknowingly spread across his face. You were right. They were delicious, or maybe it was just cause you bought them, who really knows, but he enjoyed every last bite of it before throwing the core into the trash barrel and jogging upstairs to wash up for bed, not knowing that he was about to nearly have a heart attack after he opened his door.
"Surprise!" You popped out from hiding behind his door and held a cake with two big candles reading twenty-one on it. "Happy birthday, heeseung!" You smiled brightly.
His eyes went as wide as saucers as they scanned all the decorations. There were white, green, and purple balloons decorating his ceiling, and on the cake was his favorite cartoon character, buzz light year.
He couldn't do it.
He couldn't treat you harshly anymore, not after something like this. How could he?
This was far more than anything he could ever ask for, and he couldn't help but tear up. How did you know he loved Toy Story? His dad didn't even know that, not that that's saying much, but still, he couldn't believe that someone actually paid enough attention to him to even notice.
His silence was making you nervous, but before you could start overthinking, he quickly blew out the candles and set the cake on his nightstand, pulling you into one of the tightest hugs you've ever felt.
"Thank you, y/n, thank you so much," he cried on your shoulder, and you were shocked. You were not expecting this type of reaction from him, but you thoroughly enjoyed it and quickly hugged him back.
"You're welcome, birthday boy" you ruffled his hair, and it was difficult for you not to cry as well. Your son was finally hugging you for the first time since you met.
You rubbed his back gently as his cries started to die down a bit, and he pulled away from the hug, looking at you with teary eyes. It took everything in him not to kiss you right now, and he's thankful that you broke eye contact with him first. Otherwise, he probably would have done something really stupid. "Come on, let's open your presents" you wiped the tears off his cheeks, and he smiled before closing his door and joining you on his bed. "Okay, first one," you handed him the box excitedly. It was a Ferrari Lego set wrapped in Toy Story themed paper.
He didn't want to ruin your beautiful wrapping, but he couldn't contain his excitement as he ripped the paper off, gasping when he saw what was in his hands. "You didn't have to. How did you know?" You giggled at his reaction and nudged his shoulder playfully.
"Mothers know these kinds of things" he froze when you said that, being reminded of what this actually was a mother and son celebrating a birthday. He realized he was painting a different picture of what was actually happening inside his head, a more romantic one, so he calmed down his excitement while silently reminding himself that you only thought of him as your stepson, nothing more, nothing less. "Besides, your whole room is full of legos" you pointed to his shelf with all his little figurines, and he smiled at that, happy that at least someone paid attention to him.
"Thank you!" you felt saddened that he still hadn't called you mom yet, but your husband was right. It's the small wins that count. Heeseung would come around soon enough, you thought, especially after tonight.
"Okay, next!" You handed him another big box, and you couldn't wait for his reaction to this one.
"What did you get me?" He asked with a teasing smile. Honestly, being like this in front of you was easy for him. He felt light whenever you were around. Everything was just so carefree and comfortable. That's one of the many things he loved about you. Even if you two never spoke properly before, this felt natural, and he knew it did for you, too. He knows all the effort you put in to get closer to him, so he knew this meant a lot to you too, and he was grateful cause that let him know you cared and you didn't just give up on him like his parents did no matter how many times he treated you rough you were always patient with him which made him wonder how his worthless dad was lucky enough to get a girl as perfect as you.
"Open it and see" your cheeks hurt from smiling so much, but you were just so happy that he was finally opening up to you and letting you in. It made you feel so much joy that he trusted you to show you his real emotions. This moment meant the world to you, and you'd definitely never forget it.
"No way!" He stared at you in shock. "You're freaking crazy," he said, getting choked up as he examined the headphones.
You're not sure if he was crying cause of the present or the fact that he was finally celebrating this day with someone after so long, but it didn't matter to you as long as he was happy. "Do you like it?" You side-hug him and lean on his shoulder.
"Of course, y/n," he sniffles. "I love it" you leaned up, watching the smile that never left his face until he turned to look you dead in the eyes. "I love you" he used the opportunity to slip those words in just to let you know he knew you'd think of it in a mother-son way, but he didn't care as long as he got to tell you before he left.
Those words nearly brought tears to your eyes. That was even better than him calling you mom. You smiled brightly. You were so happy, and you couldn’t wait to tell your husband the news.
"I love you too" you quickly pecked his cheek as you stood up from his bed to grab the cake. "How about some cake?" He looked at you and nodded. "Come on," you said in a whisper and gestured downstairs.
"Can we eat it here?" He asks sheepishly, and if you didn't know any better, you'd think he was turning five and not twenty-one from his childish request, but who were you to say no to eating cake in bed?
He sat back on his bed and tucked his feet under him while the bed dipped down next to him from your weight. He swiped his finger along the cake, gathering some frosting and licking it off his finger. "Good?" You ask, laughing at the way he decided to eat it without a fork.
"Yeah," he mutters shyly as you do the same, tasting the sweet frosting and humming at its delicious taste nodding in agreement with him.
You both ate the chocolate cake until there was barely anything left, and he sat it back down on his nightstand before he joined you on the bed again.
"You don't know how much this means to me," he whispered and trailed off while playing with his fingers nervously.
He looked like he wanted to say more, so you waited patiently for him to continue like you always had.
"This was the best birthday ever," he breathed out and looked at you with an unreadable expression.
"I'm so happy to hear that" you smiled genuinely at him and gently patted his shoulder.
Before you could even register what was happening, he was leaning in and kissing you.
It was if time had stopped.
You were paralyzed when you felt his lips on yours. You couldn't react from your state of shock as your eyes widened. He continued kissing you, tilting his head slightly and brushing his lips over yours.
When he placed his hand on your knee, you finally were able to react to the situation, and you pushed him back roughly by his shoulders. "What the hell are you doing?" You wiped his saliva off your mouth and stood up, distancing yourself away from him as you caught your breath.
He immediately hung his head low, knowing that he had messed up big time. You could hear him sniffling lightly. "I'm sorry," he whispered as his voice cracked. "Y/n, I didn't mean to." He looked at you with tears now trickling down his face. "I-I don't know what came over me, I'm sorry" he got off his bed and reached for you, but you backed away from him further, and his heart ached when he saw the pure look of utter disgust on your face.
Your heart felt like it was about to leap out of your chest from how fast it was beating. You had no idea what to even think. Your mind was blank as you rushed out of his bedroom and into yours, locking the door behind you just in case he tried to follow you.
You curled up in bed and let the silence take over, trying to make sense of what the hell just happened.
As you were lost in thought, you heard a few soft knocks on the door, and you jumped slightly. "Y/n, please don't be mad at me," he pleaded softly, and you could hear the hurt in his tone. "Please…” he whispered shakily, and you heard a soft thud on the door when he rested his forehead against it.
For the next three minutes or so, you could hear him quietly sobbing outside your door, and you were torn on what to do. Your stepson had just kissed you out of the clear blue.
You didn't know if you should talk to him about it or not. Maybe he had been smoking and just made a mistake, but you can’t remember smelling any smoke.
You ruffled your hair in frustration and did the first thing that came to your mind.
You tried phoning your husband. Maybe he could give you some answers.
You just sighed when you heard the dial tone.
Of course, he didn't answer like usual it annoyed you that he could never answer his phone because of work. You knew he was more than likely in a meeting, and he couldn't be disturbed, but every time you needed him, he was never there. You knew that’s what you were getting into when you married such a busy man, but that didn’t make it any less upsetting.
You tossed your phone to the side and sighed loudly. You could still hear heeseung’s faint sniffles from behind the door.
"I know there’s no excuse for what I did, but for what it's worth, you made this birthday the best one yet" he dragged his index finger down the length of the door. "G-goodnight, y/n" he walked back to his room and lied on his bed, feeling absolutely terrible about himself. Not only did he kiss you without permission, but he also kissed a married woman. "What was I thinking?" He mumbled quietly into his pillow.
He knew exactly what he was thinking, and he let his emotions get the best of him, but it was so hard to control it when you looked at him so fondly. How could he not get emotional when you had set up all those things just for his birthday? How could he not get emotional when you remembered the things that he liked?
It's been almost a decade since he felt those types of emotions, and he wasn't ready to feel those things again, especially not with you, especially when he couldn't control his feelings for you.
All those thoughts, feelings, and emotions came over him so fast that he didn’t have time to second guess his actions, but as soon as his lips were no longer on yours, he realized that he had made an irreversible mistake.
The last thing he saw before he cried himself to sleep was his leftover cake on the nightstand.
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You woke up in the morning, and unfortunately, the first thought that came to mind was last night. You frustratedly massage at your temples, trying to rub out the headache while looking at the alarm clock that read 8:27am.
You turned to your husband and wrapped your arms around him, hoping to seek some comfort from him after what happened last night, but he rolled on his side after mumbling something about it being too hot as he scooted away from you.
That was another thing that has been troubling you lately. Maybe you were blowing things out of proportion from all the stress you had been carrying with you recently, but he seemed so standoffish lately he'd barely kiss you unless it was before he left to work, and god forbid you mentioned your worries about heeseung to him, he'd just blow you off, and tell you that heeseung was an adult that could do what he wanted.
But the worse part was you couldn't remember the last time he took you on a date or the last time he made love to you, and getting married only seemed to create distance between you both, and you hated it. You felt so alone being cooped up in the house all day. Sure, you'd go shopping sometimes, but that only took your mind off of things for a little while.
And heeseung never talked to you, so that made you feel even more alone, and after last night everything kind of just hit you like a ton of bricks. You felt more isolated than you ever have, and you had no one to talk to. You moved far from your parents, and the time zones were completely different. You hadn't contacted your friends in years, and now it was just you all alone by yourself to figure out what you should do after your stepson thought it would be okay to kiss you, and your husband was practically ignoring your needs as his wife.
This whole time you've been so worried about getting the mother approval stamp from heeseung that you barely even had time to focus on your life with your husband, and now that you realized that, it felt awful. 
"What do I do?" You whisper as tears well in your eyes, sobbing quietly so you wouldn’t wake your sleeping husband.
For the whole day, heeseung didn't even think about leaving his room. He just couldn't face you after what he did last night.
Remembering the look on your face was enough to have him curled up in bed until midnight.
Once he saw all the lights were shut off, that's when he decided to leave. He made his way to the door, and he almost shirked when he saw you lying on the sofa all by yourself.
He tiptoed to the door, praying you wouldn't wake up, and to his luck, you didn't. He hastily put his shoes on and haphazardly wore his jacket and went to his secret racing spot.
You stirred in your sleep. Once you heard the door shut, you must have passed out while watching tv again. "Babe?" You called out, but you got no answer. You turned the tv off and went to your bedroom to see your husband fast asleep. "He didn't wake me up?" You mumbled you were once again waiting for him to come home from work, but you fell asleep, and he didn't even think to wake you up before going to bed.
Which reminds you, if he wasn't the one leaving, then that must have meant it was heeseung, and it was past midnight since your talk with him over breakfast. He seemed to understand your concern for him being out so late and made it a point to come home no later than ten.
So why was he leaving past midnight again?
You wanted to call him and tell him to bring his butt home, but after last night you're not sure where he stood with you or where you stood with him, to be honest.
Heeseung didn't want to leave past midnight and make you worry, but after what happened the night of his birthday, he figured you didn't care about him coming or going cause he made you mad, and he hated knowing that he ruined the little relationship you had both formed just as quickly as it happened.
But if he looked on the bright side, at least now, you probably hated him and wouldn't try to get close to him anymore, so that was a good thing. Maybe that would help him suppress his feelings for you, and besides, he'd be leaving soon anyway, so how you felt about him didn't really matter.
He was going to use the money he made from his nightly races and drug deals to move out. He now had more than enough to afford his own place and live alone comfortably.
Of course, his dad wanted him out a lot sooner and would be more than happy to buy heeseung his own house to get him out of his hair, but heeseung didn't want anything to do with his father once he was gone. 
Everything that happened in this house he wanted to be a thing of the past, even if that included you.
Sure, it was a cop-out move to just avoid what happened that night, but in his mind, there wasn't a need to address that situation again. He fucked up, and that was the end of it.
That wasn't the only reason he wanted to move though his dad played the bigger role in that, and now after that incident with you, it was fuel for him to leave even sooner than he had originally planned.
He closed his eyes as a few tears rolled down his cheek, and the crowd roared his name as he revved his engine.
And as soon as the two black and white checkered flags were raised, he pressed his foot on the gas, going full speed ahead, pushing all his worries down just like his gas peddle, even though he knew they would all surface again and haunt him once he reached the finish line.
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Of course, you couldn't get any sleep cause heeseung was still out, and it was now three in the morning, not to say you would have been able to get any sleep with your husband snoring loudly next to you anyways.
You quietly got out of bed and put your robe on. You walked downstairs and poured yourself a glass of wine, sitting on the sofa, waiting for heeseung to come home.
It wasn't long before the door was creaking open, and you heard the familiar jingle of heeseung’s keys.
He turned around and twisted the knob so he could shut the door silently.
You cleared your throat, and he nearly jumped out of his shoes as he slowly turned around with a grimace on his face. "Mind telling me what you've been up to?" You traced the rim of your now empty glass as you crossed your leg over the other.
"S-s-sorry, I won't do it a-again," he mumbled as he hung his head low and kicked his shoes off at the door.
"What exactly is it that you won’t be doing again?" You asked and slowly held the cup to your lips, taking a small sip of the alcoholic drink.
He gulped nervously from your stern tone. "Just hanging out late with some friends," he lied. He didn't have any friends, not since his parents divorced.
You hum and nod your head. "Do these friends happen to smoke?" You questioned.
How the hell did you know that? "Yes," there was no point in lying. He wouldn't want to make you more upset.
You pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed. "What did I tell you about being out past midnight?"
"I know, and I'm sorry," he mumbles. "I didn't think you'd care" he bit his lip nervously.
"Why wouldn't I care? You're my son," his expression hardened at your words.
"Please stop saying that," he whispered shakily.
"What's wrong? I know I'm not your biological mother, but I'm trying here" you pushed down the lump in your throat and ignored the ache in your heart as he said those words to you.
"You just don't get it, do you? That's just the thing, you're not my mom, and I'll never see you as my mom" he clenched his jaw in annoyance.
Now you couldn't even pretend that didn't hurt like hell that's all you ever wanted was for him to call you mom but the way those words fell from his mouth so carelessly broke your heart. "W-what did you say?" Your voice now matched him with a shakiness that made him instantly regret what he said.
He came closer to you, wrapping your frail body in his arms. The smell of smoke invaded your senses as you inhaled sharply. "No, no, no, that's not what I meant," he whispered as your shoulders shook in his hold. "You know what, screw it" he pulled back and stared into your eyes intensely. "I'll never see you as my mom because," he took a deep breath before continuing. "Because I like you" his bottom lip quivered, and you could feel his body shaking slightly. "I know it's wrong, and I swear I tried not to, b-but I just couldn't help it, and on my birthday, I just couldn't control how I felt. It's the first time someone has shown me any type of affection in years, and I-"
You cut him off. This was nonsense. He was speaking. There's no way that's how he truly felt. "You never even talked to me before then" you pulled away from the hug and waited for him to explain.
"I know," he whined out. "But that's why I didn't want to get close to you 'cause this whole time I've had…" he trailed off, but you got the point. "And on my birthday, you just" he looked down at his feet, embarrassed and ashamed to even be telling you this. "You made me feel special, and I haven't felt that in a long time." He whispered.
You looked at him with a million questions swirling around in your mind, but you asked the burning one. "What about your father? He's great to you. Surely he makes you feel special" you tried to make sense of what heeseung was saying, but you couldn't wrap your head around it, and getting angry wouldn’t help, so you spoke calmly while hoping to get some answers.
He just scoffed at your words and shoved his hands into his pockets. "He didn't even wish me a happy birthday." He poked his inner cheek with his tongue.
A look of shock overtook your features. Of course, you knew your husband wasn't going to be there on his son's special day, but not buying him a gift and not sending him a text was outrageous. "Maybe he was just too busy," you reasoned. There's no way he would not have sent his own son a happy birthday text unless he was busy.
"For the last seven years? I don't think anyone is that busy" he rolled his eyes. "It's obvious what's important to him, and I'm not."
"Don't talk about your father that way. He's a great man and a great husband, and you're just being ungrateful right now. He's working himself to death to take care of us both," heeseung just gave you a sad smile.
If you had any idea.
"If you say so," he wasn't going to argue with you about this. He was afraid he would slip up and spill his dad's secrets, and that would make everything so much worse than it already was.
"Just go to your room, and you're not going out tomorrow." You concluded that was all that needed to be discussed right now.
Without another word, he quietly went to his room and left you stressed out on the couch with so many unanswered questions.
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"Honey will you call that deadbeat son of ours from his room," your husband joked as he sat at the table.
You just chuckled at his statement, knowing he meant no harm, and went to get heeseung from his room.
You knocked a few times and waited for him to answer. He cracked the door open just a sliver, and you saw his eyes widen slightly. "Yes?" He whispered.
You hated how he almost seemed scared of you after everything, but right now, there was nothing that you could think of to fix this situation between you and him, so you’d just have to be awkward around each other for the time being.
"Dinners ready, and your father wants you to sit with us," you informed him in a soft tone hoping that would help unnerve him, but it didn't seem to work.
"Ok," he said quietly and opened the door, fully exiting his room and coming downstairs with you.
"There he is! Finally decided to crawl out of that den of yours," heeseung sighed while sitting at the table. He knew this was going to be absolute torture. He was only doing it cause he knew you wanted to. "So your mother told me you've been smoking, is that true?"
You gasped in shock. This was not how you wanted him to bring this up. Tonight was just supposed to be a simple, peaceful dinner, nothing more, nothing less.
You shook your head and signaled for your husband to stop, and heeseung looked at you with a tinge of hurt on his face. Not believing the fact that you had told his secret.
Apparently, your husband didn't get the memo. "So are you going to answer, or do I have to beat it out of ya" his father joked, but neither you nor heeseung was laughing.
You smiled awkwardly and took a sip of your lemonade, staying quiet.
"What does it matter?" Heeseung responded harshly.
"To be honest, I don't care what you do, but your mother here is worried about you," he said while cutting into his steak.
"Babe," you scolded him for his choice of words. You knew he was just frustrated and didn't mean them, but you still acknowledged how inappropriate that was to say. "Sorry he's been drinking," you murmured to heeseung, but he knew even if his dad wasn't drinking, he would still say those hurtful words to him without thinking twice about it.
"There's nothing to worry about" heeseung dismissed the topic from going any further.
"See honey? I told you it's fine" you just sat there uncomfortably for the rest of the dinner. Maybe it was just you, but he didn't seem to care about his own son's reckless behavior, and it left an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. "What I am worried about, though, is when you're going to get a girlfriend. I mean, you're a grown man, and you haven't dated anyone." He chuckled.
Heeseung glanced at you feeling embarrassment course throughout his veins.
You were surprised to hear that. Heeseung was a good guy. From what you know, he was intelligent and interested In making music, plus he had handsome features, so you were bewildered at the new information.
"Isn't that something, dear? He's twenty-one and doesn't have a girlfriend."
"Well, that's his choice, babe. Maybe he just hasn't found the right one," you try to ease the tension of the conversation, hoping heeseung would loosen up a bit, but he didn't.
The conversation started out in the wrong direction, to begin with, but now it was completely lost.
"I suppose, but he hasn't even had sex yet" this was the first time you had ever heard your husband talk in such a manner, and it was revolting, to say the least, especially at the dinner table.
Has he always been like this? You wondered.
"Dad, we can have this conversation another time," heeseung gritted through his teeth. He knew his dad was trying to get under his skin, not to say he cared, but heeseung just didn't want you thinking differently of him for being a virgin. He didn't want to think he was any less of a man.
Of course, his dad wasn't going to listen to that, not when there was a perfectly good opportunity to humiliate his son. "Hell, he hasn't even had his first kiss yet," he chuckled, and heeseung's mouth parted as he stared at his dad in shock, unable to comprehend why he'd want to put him to shame like that in front of you.
Heeseung looked at you scanning your face for your reaction, and you could have sworn you saw tears in his eyes before he got up from the table and ran off to his room.
"Why would you say that?" You asked, knowing that you weren't the only one that could obviously see that heeseung was upset when he left.
"Say what? It's harmless fun. He'll get over it" he took a drink of his beer before shrugging his shoulders.
"That didn't look harmless to me, and it wasn't funny," you said sternly while throwing your napkin on the table.
You may not have been on good terms with heeseung, but he didn't deserve to have his love life aired out for your husband's drunken amusement.
You could only imagine how embarrassed heeseung felt.
You stood up from the table and headed to your room as well. You couldn’t believe he had to ruin the evening. "Honey, wait, I'm sorry," you heard him drunkenly apologizing, but you continued on to your room, too stressed and tired to put up with him or anything else right now.
After you finished washing up, you went to check on heeseung. As hard as it was going to be to speak to him, you just wanted to make sure he was okay after what happened.
You knocked on his door, hoping he hadn't already gone to sleep. You waited a few seconds after knocking, and you didn't get an answer.
Maybe he was listening to music, you thought and cracked the door slightly. He was lying in his bed listening to music, just like you had originally thought, and he was wearing the headphones you bought him for his birthday. You smiled at the heartwarming sight before opening the door further and revealing yourself.
His head shot up to the door when he noticed the light from the hallway shining into his dimly lit room. When he saw it was you, he quickly took off his headphones and straightened out his blankets, running his fingers through his hair, trying to tidy up a bit.
"Can I come in?" He just looked at you and nodded his head. You shut the door behind you and sat on his bed, pushing away the thoughts of the last time you were in his room on his bed. "Sorry about him," you apologized on your husband's behalf.
"It's not your fault" he scooted away from you and hugged his knees to his chest. "It wouldn't be the first time he's done that" the words accidentally slipped from his mouth, and he panicked.
"What do you mean?" You ask him, puzzled.
Heeseung was quick to come up with an excuse. You didn't know much about his relationship with his father. From the outside looking in, they seemed like they got along pretty well, and heeseung knew what he said just now would make you ask questions, and those questions he didn't want to answer cause ultimately they would reveal what his dad was doing to you this whole entire time.
"Uhh, you know, just the teasing and all" he smiled uncomfortably and hoped you'd buy that lame excuse, and it seemed like you did when you nodded your head in understanding.
"Just so you know, it's nothing to be ashamed of" you were going to reach your hand out and comfort him, but you decided it'd be best if you didn't.
"I don't want to talk about it," he said lowly, and you sighed in defeat as you sat up and walked out of his room. If he didn't want to talk about it, you weren't going to force him to. You assumed he needed space, and you were more than willing to give it to him.
You went back to your shared bedroom to find your husband already lying in bed waiting for you. "Honey, I'm sorry," he apologized again while you got into bed next to him. "I'll talk to him tomorrow. He's probably upset with me," he mumbled in the crook of your neck as he wrapped his arms around you.
You cuddle up closer to him, and he presses soft kisses all over your neck, tickling you. "Babe!" You shouted when he started tickling your sides playfully.
"What?" He answers back as if he's unaware of what he was doing to you.
You giggled and squirmed, trying to get out of his hold.
"I gotcha now," he teased and continued tickling you while laughing at the noises you were making.
Heeseung could hear you both talking and laughing. He hated how his room was right next to your guy’s, and he could hear literally everything.
He turned up his music to full blast, drowning out everything. The last thing he wanted was to hear you being intimate with his father.
His father didn't deserve to see your body, heeseung thought. You should have been in his bed making love to him. He was confident his father couldn't please you the way he could. Hell, it wouldn't even be a comparison.
If heeseung had a chance with you, he'd give you anything you wanted. He'd take his precious time with your delicate body, trace his fingers over every dip and curve of your beautiful figure whisper praises in your ear about how good you make him feel. He'd stare directly into your eyes and tell you how much he loves you and how precious you are to him as he slowly strokes inside you while you moan his name and clasp your hands tighter with his.
You should be in his room right now with him.
Little did heeseung know you were unfortunately not getting intimate with his father cause after the little tickling session, he passed out from all the alcohol he drank earlier in the evening, leaving you to fall asleep unsatisfied for the countless night in a row.
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A few weeks had passed now, and things were starting to get better with your husband. He was taking you out more and spending more time with you, which was great, and it kept your mind clear.
Unfortunately, things were the same with heeseung, and even still, you had no clue what to do. You wanted to tell your husband, but you had no idea what kind of mess that would have caused, so you ignored it entirely, and heeseung went back to his old ways of giving you the cold shoulder, which you were happy about cause that made you feel better about not addressing the situation somehow you twisted it that if he wasn't talking to you you weren't going to talk to him and you convinced yourself this was his fault for shutting you out.
Besides, he hasn't made a move on you since, so there wasn't anything to talk about, right?
Right.
Finally, you got your much-needed break from everything that has happened this past month, and you couldn't have asked for anything better than to be where you are right now, hugged up to your husband on the couch, watching movies as he stroked your hair.
Your guy’s movie marathon was interrupted by heeseung making a surprise visit to the living room. He scoffed and made his way to the couch, handing his father his key to the house before retreating back to his room.
You eyed the little transaction, and you furrowed your brows, looking at the house key that sat on the entertainment stand in the living room. 
"Babe, what was that about?" You wondered why heeseung was giving up his house key.
"Oh, he didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?" You say, growing more confused by the second.
"He's moving out next week," he told you as if it was just something as small as a story from one of his co-workers or something.
You sat up abruptly. "What?! No, he didn't tell me" you knew things weren’t going great with you and heeseung right now, but you didn't expect him to keep something this important from you. "Why didn't you tell me?" Now that was the strange part he didn't know about yours and heeseung's falling out, so why would he assume heeseung would tell you when he didn't even speak to you?
"Cause it's not a big deal" he shrugged and tried to hug you, but you backed away.
"It is a big deal. You know how hard I've been trying to get close to him, and you didn't even think to tell me he would be moving?" You raised your voice slightly.
"What does it matter?"
You couldn't sit still any longer. You got up from the sofa and went to heeseung's room. Maybe he could give you a better explanation than the bullshit your husband just gave you. "Why didn't you tell me you’re leaving?" Your tone was still harsh, but it wasn't aimed toward heeseung.
"Didn't think you'd care" he disregarded the way you just stormed into his room without knocking.
"Why would you think that?" Your expression softened, as well as your tone.
"We haven't talked in weeks, so what's the point? For all practical purposes, I'm not even here," he angrily shoved his belongings into his suitcase.
You knew it was your fault why he felt like that, and it made you feel terrible. You could no longer deny the fact that your and Heeseung's relationship diminished because you were not handling what happened like an adult. "I'm sorry. It's all my fault."
Fuck fuck fuck.
He wanted to punch and kick himself for thinking you looked cute apologizing right now. That's not what this is about, heeseung focus. He took a deep breath and put on his hard exterior once again. "I forgive you," he said with no emotion at all.
He couldn’t understand why you’d take all the blame, though, cause he definitely had a part to play.
You watched him packing, and you still felt guilty for everything, even if he had forgiven you. "So that's just it then?" You asked sadly, you knew at this point having a mother-and-son relationship was out of the picture, but you’d still miss him when he was gone.
He sighed and zipped up his bag, opening a smaller one for his toiletries. "What do you want from me, hmm? I already told you this," he pointed back and forth between the two of you. "Is never going to happen. I can't give you what you want, and you can't give me what I want."
"Heeseung, I don't know what to say. I want to tell you I'm sorry, but I'm not. I'm a happily married woman, and you have to understand that," you tried to explain to him in a way he'd understand without hurting his feelings.
"Exactly, and I can accept that, so why can't you accept the fact that this picture-perfect family idea of yours is never going to work? I'm moving out, and now you can live the rest of your life happily with that-" he had to bite his tongue to stop himself from talking and saying something he shouldn't.
"Honey?" You heard your husband calling you from downstairs, and heeseung sighed. You wanted to finish listening to what he was saying, but you opted to leave his room and go to your husband.
"Fuck” heeseung said under his breath when you walked out.
He wanted to let you know what was happening, but he was scared. He didn't want to hurt your feelings, or worse, what if you didn't believe him?
He shook his head and finished packing. It wasn't his mess to sort out. He tried to convince himself.
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Everyone glossed over what happened over the next week, and so did you heeseung was leaving today, and there wasn't anything you could do or say to stop him.
It was in the evening, and you were supposed to be going out to dinner with your husband, but he wasn't answering your calls. He said he'd be ready by six, yet it was eight, and he didn't even bother to call you to inform you what was taking him so long, and you started to get worried. 
Tears unknowingly pricked your eyes and cascaded down your face. Everything had gotten to you, and you couldn't contain your emotions anymore and finally let out all your frustrations.
You sobbed into the palms of your hands while sitting at the kitchen table. Everything seemed to be going wrong the past month, and you had no idea how to fix it heeseung was basically done with you, and your husband didn't even seem to notice how stressed you were lately. You were hoping to talk to him over dinner, and now that fell through, so here you sat sobbing like an overgrown baby waiting for your beloved husband to come home.
To make matters even worse, when you looked up, you met eyes with heeseung, and he was just staring at you.
You must have missed him coming down the stairs while you were crying hysterically.
You quickly grabbed a napkin and dried your tears. Obviously, it was too late to hide them, but you still tried.
Heeseung dropped his moving boxes at the door and made his way over to the kitchen. He didn't hesitate for a moment to lean down and wrap his arms securely around your shaking shoulders. "Shhh, it’s okay" he kissed the crown of your head and rested his cheek there while fluttering his eyes shut.
You didn’t have it in you to tell him off for his overly affectionate gesture, so you let him comfort you instead.
You grabbed his hand and held it tightly. You didn't have to tell him why you were crying. He saw his mother in the same position you were in right now, all beautiful and dressed up, ready for the big date that never came.
"I'm going to tell you something that I know I shouldn't, but you deserve to know," he whispered and squeezed your shoulder reassuringly. "My father is cheating on you" heeseung's heart rate increased as he finally spilled his father's filthy secret to you.
"What?!" You pushed his arms off you, and he stumbled back slightly while you stood up from your seat. "Why would you say that? He would never" you defend your husband. Little did you know he would, and he was at this very moment.
Heeseung hung his head low. "That's the same thing I thought when my mother told me," his voice cracked. "I know it's hard to accept it. I've been there before, but it's true."
"No," You felt more fresh tears welling in your eyes. "Take that back right now. How could you ever speak about him that way" this was absolutely preposterous, you thought.
"Because it's true, I wanted to tell you for so long, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings, okay?" He stepped closer to you, and you let him engulf you in a hug, but you didn't hug him back.
"How do you know?" You asked, nibbling on your lip. You wanted to fight back, but something about the look on heeseung's face made you feel like he was telling you the truth, and it made you feel sick.
"Call him and ask him where he is," he responds quietly. You broke away from the hug.
"No, I get it now. You're just trying to break us up 'cause you can't stand the fact that I don't want to be with you" that had to be it cause the man you married would never cheat on you, and you knew he loved you, too much to do that to you.
"What?!" Heeseung said, shocked that you would not only accuse him of lying but the fact that you would think that lowly of him. "I would never lie to you, y/n that's not the type of guy I am, and what would I gain from lying to you? I know you'd take his word over mine any day, and besides, I'm leaving today, so even if I was trying to turn you against my father, that'd be pretty stupid given the fact that once I walk out of that door in the next fifteen minutes, you'll probably never see me again."
That was true, but maybe heeseung didn't want you for himself. Maybe he just wanted to ruin your life cause you didn't accept his advances.
He could see the apprehension on your face, and he took the opportunity to further prove his point. "He said he would be home today at six, right?" You just nodded your head. "And he also said he was going to go to work, right?" You nodded once more, feeling a heavy weight settle in your gut. "So if I call his work right now, he should be there, right?" You knew where this was going, and you didn’t like it one bit. You were going to leave and go to your bedroom, but he quickly grabbed your wrist and stopped you from moving.
He let go of you and pulled out his phone, and dialed his dad's work number, putting it on speaker as the phone rang three times before someone picked up. "Hi, could you give me Mr lee's extension? I'm his son, and he's not answering his phone right, and I'm worried" you listen, as whoever was taking the phone call informed heeseung that Mr lee had not been at work today and that he was always off on Sunday. "Oh, okay, thank you. Bye," you stared at heeseung with tears in your eyes.
But you were still in denial. "He's probably just off doing some work elsewhere," you smiled and convinced yourself.
Heeseung couldn't believe how much you were defending his father, but he understood he was the same way when he found out from his mother, but he was going to prove to you that it was true one way or the other. "Y/n, I need you to listen closely to me. I'm doing this for you, okay? I love you, and I don't ever want to see you hurt. I don't want to sit back and watch the next most important woman in my life get reduced to nothing at the hands of my father, not again" it was hard for him to contain his emotions. Talking about this topic was something he thought he had gotten over, but it felt like the wound had never healed, even though he thought it did years ago.
You stood in silence, wrapping your arms around yourself, preparing for what he was about to say. If you were being honest, you had your doubts about your husband a few times, like when he smelled like women's perfume, and he told you he worked around females, so that's why he smelled that way at the time that sounded true, so you went along with it the other time you saw a red stain on his shirt that looked a lot like lipstick, but you thought you were reaching and didn't bring it up to him but now as heeseung was giving you all this information you weren't so sure so instead of telling heeseung off for saying such foul things about his own father you stayed and listened cause deep down you were afraid you had been right all along.
"Remember all the times I always left the table when he came home? It's cause we don't get along. He made it seem that way, so you wouldn't think any less of him, but he knows deep down I hate his guts, and he hates mine. You remember all the times he came home from work late? He was out at the club. Remember all the times he didn't answer his phone or come till the next day? He was off with somebody else while you were waiting at home for him like a good wife" before you could shut him down, he pulled up a picture of your husbands' car in the parking lot of a club, and that's when it felt like your world had come crashing down you had a feeling but you being you just thought you were overthinking all the time, and you stupidly gave your husband the benefit of the doubt when evidently he didn't deserve it.
You were sad, hurt, and upset. "Why would you do that?" You said to heeseung while crying. He just looked at you, mirroring your hurt expression cause this was just as hard for him to relive all over again as it was for you finding out. "You're lying!" You screamed at the top of your lungs. "You're lying!" You pushed his him. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" you hit his chest, punctuating your hurtful words each time your hand came in contact with his body. Tears brimmed in his eyes as he let you weakly pound his chest. Eventually, he grabbed your wrist and stopped you pulling you into a hug instead. "You're lying," you choked out through sobs as you let him engulf you in a hug. This time, you hugged him back in your weak and vulnerable state.
You couldn't believe everything was a lie right from the beginning. You don't blame heeseung for not telling you sooner. You blame yourself for being so stupid and naive to believe such ridiculous lies. You hated yourself for having blind faith in your husband, and you hated your heart for loving him so foolishly that even when things seemed different, you just brushed it off.
Heeseung rubbed your back soothingly to comfort you. "Remember all the times I came down for dinner when he was gone? I did it so you wouldn't feel alone. Remember all those times I came back early? I did it so you wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. Remember all those times when I was here for you, and he wasn't?" You could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest while he poured his feelings out to you. "If I was in his place, I'd never come home late. If I was in his place, I'd never look at another girl, and if I was in his place, I'd treat you right" he held onto you tighter, giving his words more significance.
He leaned back to look you in the eyes, trailing his hands over your hip bones. "If I was in his place, I'd never make you cry" he scanned your face, and his heart broke for you. You looked lifeless and completely broken as he wiped away your stray tears. It was like he was looking in a mirror at his fourteen-year-old self when his mother told him the same news, except when he found out he had no one to confide in cause his mom practically abandoned him for alcohol and left him in the hands of his abusive father, but he wasn’t going to let you go through the same thing that he did he was going to be that person that was there for you when no one else was he was going to be that person his mother couldn't be for him.
Heeseung thought it was now or never and closed the gap between you two before he could think twice. Besides, no matter the outcome of his actions, he'd be gone tomorrow, but he was here today, he was in this moment, and he was going to make every second of it count.
You responded to the kiss, and in your weakened state, all you wanted was his comfort. It was something you needed more than anything in the world, especially right now.
It felt so right.
No matter how hard you tried to be his mother, you never quite made the cut, and deep down, you knew it was because you never really saw him as your son. You were just too wrapped up in trying to be the perfect wife for your husband that you lost sight of everything, and right now, after everything heeseung had told you, kissing him didn't feel wrong cause you didn't feel like you were kissing your stepson no, you felt like you were kissing a man that loved you and a man that actually cared for you and your well being.
He hummed into the kiss pulling you closer by your waist as he kissed you passionately, slowly, lovingly this was the first time you had ever felt this way from a kiss. You never felt the butterflies in your stomach that you were feeling right now when you kissed anyone else. With heeseung, you could actually feel the love he had for you.
He leaned back and fluttered his eyes open, slowly placing one last loving peck on your lips.
He's been waiting for the moment for far too long. It was definitely worth the wait. He'd live his hellish life all over again just for it to lead to this very moment with just you and him and no other distractions in between.
Your lips were just as soft as he imagined, your kiss was just as electrifying as he daydreamed, and your embrace was everything he ever prayed for. "Come with me," he says out of nowhere. "Get a divorce and leave him live with me. I promise I can take care of you, trust me" he rested his forehead against yours. Everything was happening so fast, and you could barely breathe, but one thing you knew for sure was right now, heeseung had told you the truth you had been searching for, and his embrace made you feel safe. He proved you could trust him, but you don't know if you were ready to move on so quickly you didn't want your emotions getting in the way of making such a big decision, and heeseung seemed to have read your mind.
"We can take this as slow as you want" he gripped your shoulders, leaning down a bit to hold eye contact with you. "Look at me, okay? All I'm asking is for you to come with me, if, a month down the road, you decide you don't want to try with me. I’ll completely understand, but right now, I just can't stand to see you hurt. I can't let that happen to someone I love not again," he meant every word wholeheartedly. He couldn't be there for his mother, but he could be there for you.
You nibbled on your lip in thought you had no money outside of your husband's income, and you couldn't afford to move right now. "Heeseung, I can't." You whisper.
"Why?" He breathed out and placed his hands on your cheeks. “Hmm?”
"I can't afford to move, and I can't go back to my parent's house," you told him your concerns for the first time in months. You felt comfortable speaking your mind out in the open.
"You know how I always go out at night?" You nodded your head as he stroked your cheek softly with his thumb. "I hate for you to find out like this, but I was doing illegal things to make money, and let's just say I could buy you a house twice this size. We could fly to your parent's house and be there in the morning. Whatever you want, I can give to you." He looked at you intensely to prove to you that he was dead serious.
You could feel a headache coming on. This was all too much for you to handle alone, but Heeseung wasn't going to let you handle this alone, not this time. "I couldn't ask that of you."
"I want to give you a life that you deserve, let me" the look in his eyes was indescribable, but if you had to put it in words, it was love mixed with hate, sadness mixed with anger, but behind everything, it was hopeful and sincere. "Let me be the man in your life that my father couldn't be" you didn't need to hear anything more you gave him a quick kiss sealing off his promise and wrapping your arms around him tightly.
"Thank you," you mumbled into the crook of his neck wetting his shirt with your warm tears, but he didn't mind one bit as he reciprocated the hug.
"Anything for you. I got you" he disconnected from the hug and smiled, wiping your tears. "Let's get you all packed, yeah?" He wasn't trying to pressure you, but the sooner you both could leave, the better.
"Wait" you put your hand on his chest, stopping him from going anywhere.
"What's wrong?" He asked softly and rubbed the back of your palm with his thumb.
"I'm scared," you muttered.
"It's okay. I’m here now, and I won’t ever let him hurt you again" he led you upstairs, and you grabbed only your necessities. You didn't want anything that reminded you of your soon to be ex-husband.
Heeseung gave you a reassuring smile to ease your worries as you dropped your bags off at the door.
You both sat in the living room, waiting for him to come home. "It's okay," heeseung whispered and grabbed your hand. "I'll be here every step of the way. You have nothing to worry about" he kissed your hand but quickly distanced himself from you when he heard the front door crack open.
"Hey, isn't this a surprise you guys are actually getting along for once," he said, and it was now clear as day how condescending his tone was, and it only occurred to you now that that's how he always talked to you when it came to you trying to get close with heeseung you can't believe you didn't notice it sooner.
You can't believe he didn't even mention the date you two were supposed to go on. Then again, if heeseung never showed you what your husband was up to, you probably would have summed it up to him just being tired from “work” like you always foolishly had.
"Can we talk?" You ignored his slight jab and walked over to the kitchen heeseung parted his mouth to say something, but you smiled at him, letting him know you were okay.
"Sure" he took off his shoes and followed you to the kitchen smirking at heeseung while doing so.
"Look, I don't want your explanation. All I want is a divorce" you slid the diamond band off your finger and set it on the counter.
"What?" Your ex-husband chuckled incredulously.
"I know exactly what you've been doing behind my back, and I don't want to be with a person like you. I can't live the rest of my life with a liar," your whole body shook with nerves and fear.
"What are you talking about? I haven't been doing anythi-"
"Don't! Just stop!" you yelled at him for the first time ever. "Save it for someone else" you tried to walk past him, but he grabbed you by your wrist heeseung was watching the whole time from the living room, and as soon as his father laid a finger on you, he was quick to stand up and make his way over to you.
"Don't you dare touch her again" you looked up and saw that heeseung had gotten in between you and was shielding you from his dad.
"Oh, so he speaks," his dad chuckled. "Stay out of this boy. It has nothing to do with you" he pointed his finger in heeseung's face.
"It has everything to do with me," heeseung gritted through his teeth. "You heard her what she said. Now leave her alone."
"Watch your tone with me, boy" he balled his fists and got ready to throw a punch at heeseung, and you screamed in fear, but luckily heeseung was quick enough to dodge out of the way.
"Stay back," heeseung said to you before turning back to his father. "Do not make me do this" he stood up to his father, looking down on him from the height difference heeseung had definitely outgrown his father. He was no longer the helpless teen boy that couldn’t defend himself all those years ago. He had grown into a man that was able to stand up for himself and protect the people he loves.
His father didn't listen, and this time, it was heeseung who was raising his fist and landing a powerful punch to his dad's jaw, knocking him straight to the ground.
Heeseung immediately jumped on top of him, pinning him to the ground while beating his face to a pulp with every punch. He could hear his mother's cries, and with every punch, he saw your sad face, and he went into a fit of complete rage, landing every blow, each hit more powerful, Than the last, as he screamed. "No more!" Over and over again. “I’m not letting you hurt me or the people I love anymore!”
You stood there in shock, whimpering with your hands covering your mouth as tears ran down your face. "Heeseung, that's enough" you went closer to him, and he pushed you back slightly and continued to punch his father's face in, pretty soon. It would be unrecognizable. "Heeseung, please stop" when he heard your broken voice, he immediately snapped out of it and turned around to see you crying. He quickly let go of his father's collar and stood up, wrapping you in his arms protectively.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. You could feel him shaking with pure rage, and it scared you, but you knew he'd never do anything to hurt you. "I'm sorry, love.” He spoke gently and stroked your head. “I just don't want him to hurt anyone anymore." He took a deep breath to calm himself.
"It's all okay now," you comforted him and rubbed his back gently.
He sighed and rested his chin on the crown of your head. "It's okay," he reiterated, swaying your body back and forth in his hold" "ready to go home?"
"But your hand" you held his bloody hands, examining the broken skin on his knuckles, and he winced slightly.
"I'm okay for now. Let's just get out of here" he kissed your forehead softly.
You looked at the floor where the man you once called your husband was laid out unconscious, and as you looked at his bloody tattered face, you felt no remorse, not after he tried to not only hurt you but heeseung as well after you found out everything about him you couldn’t feel one ounce of sadness for him.
Heeseung followed your line of vision, and he felt nothing but resentment toward the man he once called his father. "He can take care of himself" heeseung spat on his unmoving body and hooked his arm around your shoulder, and headed to the door. "Are you okay? He didn't hurt you, did he?" Heeseung said with worry.
"No," you whispered and shook your head softly while clutching onto his arm.
“Good” he whispered and kissed your cheek, a faint smile graced heeseung's features, and his eyes lit up as a warm feeling spread throughout his chest. He couldn't put into words how happy he was that you felt comfortable and safe with him.
You grabbed your suitcases and walked out the door hand in hand with heeseung. Once the car was fully loaded with your belongings, he opened the door and helped you inside, buckling your seatbelt and placing one last loving kiss on your temple as you smiled softly at him.
After he got in the driver seat and buckled himself in, he held your hand in his, rubbing soothing circles on your palm, and you're not sure what the future held for you and heeseung, but for right now, you were going to go wherever he takes you.
Cause, after all, it was heeseung that helped you break your unholy ties.
FIN.
Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate each and every one of you who made it to the end.
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won4ver · 2 months
Text
words left unsaid
“hey this is y/n, i’m sorry i missed your call. please try again later. thank you, have a good day!”
a series where enhypen leaves you a voicemail, knowing you’d never respond
pairing : idol!ot7!enhypen x reader
warnings + genre : written like a transcript. mcd. angst.
a/n : these have been in my drafts since the start of december
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Voicemail
Lee Heeseung
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Transcript
“ Hey my love, you look beautiful today … “
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Jay Park
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Transcript
“ I saw you on tv today … ”
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Jake Sim
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Transcript
“ I didn’t see you in my dreams last night … ”
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Park Sunghoon
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Transcript
“ A lot has changed since you left … ”
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Kim Sunoo
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Transcript
“ i had a dream of you last night …”
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Yang Jungwon
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Transcript
“ I finally went to your memorial today … ”
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Nishimura Riki
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Transcript
“ Hi ynnie, today was the award … “
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nyanggk · 2 years
Text
20 DAYS BEFORE HEAVEN — l. hs
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⋆*✩⑅◡̈⃝* — news reached your school that a boy in your class has passed away and the last thing expected was for the the reaper to show up inside your room and make a bargain with you. He gives you the chance to go back 20 days to save a boy you barely knew under one condition. the question is, would you do it despite the danger?
⋆*✩⑅◡̈⃝* genre(s) — highschool au, strangers to lovers, romance, angst, supernatural
⋆*✩⑅◡̈⃝* warning(s) — profanity, suicide, internalising disorders, bullying, sexual assault, victim blaming
⋆*✩⑅◡̈⃝* wc. : 15k+
— dont forget to reblog, like, and comment about what you thought abt the fic!! lastly, thank u so so much to our dearest best girl, sei who made this banner for me !! you will forever be remembered ♡ teaser
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OCTOBER 15  ༉༊
Ever since you were a mere infant, you loved the rain. Being brought into the world in the rainy month of June, all your birthdays were greeted by a storm. When you were eight years old, you and your parents decided to go to the theme park for your birthday. However, your plans for outside fun were soon soiled when the rain started pouring the second you'd entered the premises. 
Instead of being dejected, you were ecstatic. With a wide smile coated across your porcelain childlike face, you ran into the pouring rain with open arms, not giving a single fuck about your hair, clothes, or shoes getting wet nor soggy. In the background, you could hear your parents yelling at you to go back and take shelter, but you tuned them out, in love with the feeling of rain dropping against your skin. 
The next day, you woke up with a boiling hot fever. Snot was dripping from your nose, reaching your lips. Being the curiosity filled child that you were, your tongue darted up to taste it, pleased to say that you weren't disgusted by the taste but never willing to admit doing the action in front of anyone. Along that was a pounding headache and a series of sneezes but you didn't regret your actions, not one bit.
Years have gone by and sure, people change. You can say that you have for sure. You've grown taller and quieter. Though, you're still you. The same girl who loved to become one with the rain.
It rarely rained on the city of Seoul but either way, whenever it would, you'd be overjoyed. They say that if the sunny day is excitement, then a cloudy day is a well-earned chance to rest your eyes and cleanse your soul. It's a chance to daydream and breathe in a calm, reflective mood. Those very words expressed how you viewed the much-hated weather.
But today, the sky seemed as if it was sobbing— an overcast day if you would. The clouds were darker, more terrifying compared to the bright and shining ones you would see every other day in the city whenever the year would soon end.  
The rain pooled on the ground, creating muddy puddles as you walked towards your school building. A striking yellow umbrella in one hand, protecting you from the droplets of rain while the other hand grips your jacket tighter, trying to obtain more warmth.
Stepping inside the building, you shake your umbrella, trying to get rid of the water that clung to it. The water detaches itself from your umbrella, lightly sprinkling everywhere. After, you put it somewhere inside of your locker where you were sure none of your papers would get soaked.
For some odd reason, as you walk down the hallway towards your classroom, you can't help the heavy feeling that's weighing on your chest. You wonder, was there a possibility you missed something? Did you have homework that you forgot to bring? Was there supposed to be a quiz today and you didn't study? No, none of those could've been it. Being the honor student that you were meant you had to be ahead of every lecture, assignment, project, and anything that correlated to your academics and you did just that. You always carry with you a planner that holds all your schedules and work deadlines so that you could rest assured that you never missed anything.
Loud chatter fills your ears as you step inside your classroom. Some of your classmates sat atop of their desks while the others stood up as they huddled up with one another, gossiping, you assumed. You lay your belongings on top of your table, taking a seat beside the window so you could look out and watch as multiple students ran to enter the school gates, practically drenched by the rain with only their bags to shelter them from the pouring rain. A few more minutes pass and you finally hear the school bell ring, signaling that classes were starting.
Your classmates hurry to resume their places back into their own seats, not wanting to be caught out of place by your advisor and have an earful early in the rainy morning. The chattering and the noises stop when your homeroom advisor enters the room with a somber look. She takes her eyeglasses off with a sigh, resting her palms on either side of her desk upfront. 
She's tense, you could easily tell. It makes you wonder what had happened for her to act like that as you fix your gaze onto her completely. You're used to your advisor's usually bright and bubbly expression whenever she comes skipping inside the room so for her to turn like this means that something awful must've happened for her aura to stray so far from her usually energetic personality.
"Alright, guys. Can I have your attention please?" Your adviser calls out. All eyes fixate themselves on her figure, giving her the attention she wants as they wait for her to continue. "I have some very sad news that I need to share with all of you. Your classmate, Lee Heeseung," She sighs out as if merely speaking the boy's name is hard for her. "He... He won't be with us anymore."
A moment passes in silence before one of your classmates stands to speak up. "Huh?" He wonders. "Did Heeseung transfer?" He asks, voicing out your own thoughts.
"No," She answers, shaking her head "l hope that was the case." She whispers.
This time, a boy with strikingly white hair and pale skin raises his hands before standing up. This time you were familiar with him. His name, based on your recollection, is Park Sunghoon. Like your other classmates, you've never interacted with the boy. Thus meaning that you knew little to nothing about him. The only thing you could remember about him was his face and that he belonged to the same popular friend group as the boy in question, Lee Heeseung. "Then where is he? He didn't even bother telling us where he went and hyung never does that." He says.
"H-He... Uhm," Your adviser stutters before tightly closing her eyes, gripping the edges of her table even tighter to the point where her knuckles turned white and her nails dug into the wood. You can tell she's holding her tears back as much as she can. As to why, you're still not sure and you stay seated there, waiting to find out.
With a deep exhale, she finally continues. "Lee Heeseung won't be joining us anymore. Last night, the police found his dead body inside his apartment and that they've suspected that... that," Her voice breaks when she continues, saying, "He had overdosed on sleeping pills the night prior." 
Time seemed to have passed and yet, no one dared to move in their seat when those words left your advisor's mouth. Your classmates looked shocked, faces showing disbelief at the news she had just dumped on them.
"W-what?" You hear one of your classmates ask. You remember his name being Jake.
Sim Jaeyun. Member of the soccer club and Lee Heeseungs closest friend.
You had seen the two boys bond with each other all around campus. Lee Heeseung and Sim Jaeyun were in the same class as you as well as some of their other friends but you've observed that the two were the closest to each other despite the latter being a year younger. Although Lee Heeseung was older, they had managed to form an incredible friendship that you envied, so truly envied. 
You're no outcast per se, you just detested the company of people and prefered to be alone, wanting to focus on getting out of this hell hole than creating connections. However, even loners yearn for some company from time to time. You've just never bothered to scout for the right people that matched well with your personality.
Resuming, the poor boy is frozen in his seat, looking as if he was about to break down. Your eyes are trained on the way he clenches his fist into a ball with overwhelming amounts of force. It wouldn't be a shock to you if you see his hand bleed due to his nails digging into it.
"I'm sorry, Jaeyun." She apologises, her expression sad as she looks at the boy. "I wish it was a lie too but it's true, he's dead."
"Th-That can't be! We were just talking about what we were going to do for his bi—" All of a sudden, he stops talking. His eyes turn wide as if something had just dawned on him and his hand comes to cover his mouth in shock. You can see the boy's whole body start to tremble and you knew he going to break down into tears any minute now. Sim Jaeyuns chair screeches back as he runs out the room and your teacher does nothing to stop him, understanding that he was Lee Heeseungs closest friend and that this whole news is even more haunting for him.
You watch as all your classmates bow their heads down, a heavy feeling looming around the room as everyone mourns Lee Heeseungs death. Some even start crying in their seats; one of them being Jay, otherwise known as Park Jongseong, another one of Lee Heeseungs friends.
"Heeseungs family will be having his funeral tomorrow and... I hope you all can come." Your teacher says. "We won't be having any lessons for the entirety of this day and you can all go home early. We just want to give you all some time to mourn such a bright student's unfortunate death. Class dismissed."
Now, you've found the reason why the air was so gloomy and why the rain didn't seem to stop no matter how long it's been pouring. It was because the sky was crying, mourning the death of Lee Heeseung.
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"Y/N? God, I just heard the news."
As soon as you step inside your home, your mom is there to envelop you in a warm hug. She places your head on her shoulder as she caresses the back of your hair— something your mother has always done when consoling you.
"I wasn't even that close with the guy." You say, words coming out automated as you assumed she was talking about the suicide announcement that your advisor had made not even an hour ago. "How did you find out anyway?"
"Mrs. Lee told me." She says, frowning afterwards. "Don't tell me you didn't know the Lees are our neighbors?"
Your expression is a dead giveaway that this is new news to you. You're never one to dwell on your mother's business since you had no interest in gossiping nor did you have time to with all the studying you were doing. However, it does come out as a surprise to you that Lee Heeseung lived close to you and yet, the two of you never seemed to have bumped into each other.
"Gosh, YN. You really should stop and listen in sometimes. I know I'm your mother and I'm supposed to be happy that my child is a genius but I don't want you to waste your youth." Again, she's frowning at you.
What's so bad about wanting to focus on school? It's not like being stupid will make a difference.
"It's fine mom. I'm okay." You assure.
"Nonsense. I'll tell you what, I'll go into the kitchen and make you some soup. You can go and take that upstairs. You're looking too thin these days." Once again, her motherly nature surfaces.
"Sure, Mom. That'd be nice." She smiles at you, feeling satisfied with your answer and afterwards scurrying into the kitchen to bring you some food to eat.
You lay down on your bed, staring at the blank ceiling of your bedroom. The chicken noodle soup your mom had made for you sat cold and untouched on top of your desk, making no move to eat it.
Lee Heeseung isn't a close friend of yours nor was he an acquaintance. He was just simply a boy in your class that seemed to have his life put together. From what you knew, the boy had excellent grades, powerful friendships, and skills that exceeded everybody's expectations.
He was a boy with a smile that could rival the suns. 
You remember catching sight of him while he was talking with one of his friends. The other must've said something extremely funny because that day, you were graced to see the way Lee Heeseungs eyes crinkled in happiness, his nose scrunching in glee, and his teeth on full display as he laughed; his head thrown back and his protruding adam's apple bobbing every time he gulped while doubling over with laughter.
"That's all I knew of him." You lie. 
But why was his death affecting your mood this much? Maybe because he was such a nice and talented boy that you saw it as a great shame he had to go so early.
Eventually, your mind wandered around why he did what he did. Granted, you knew nothing about the boy's personal life but you could only imagine how hard it was for him to push himself into committing such a horrific act.
He took his life. 
Was it because behind that bright and perfect smile was a boy bearing a shattered soul? What drove him to do something like this?
You're a quiet person and you usually stay in your own company. You don't like big crowds and you loved it whenever it rained because it made you feel at peace whenever you listened to the way it pitter-pattered, drenching everything and anything blocking its way, but today, you just wished it stopped. 
The rain reminds you too much of Lee Heeseung, the boy who took his life and the rain is making you feel restless.
You hope wherever he is right now, that he's finally at peace with himself. You hope that he's happy and that he can rest. Again, you never bothered to get close with anyone, meaning you never knew Lee Heeseung personally but you wish, for once, that you could have done something, anything, to change his mind.
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OCTOBER 16 ༉༊
As you open your eyes to greet a new daydream, you immediately frown. The skies are so dark and bitter that you don't even notice that it's now morning. There's no sign of the bright warm sun on top of a blue horizon nor are there any white fluffy clouds covering the sky. 
A storm is brewing and it's evident it'll hit your area soon. 
Tempestuous, bleak, and angry. 
The heavens are angry. 
It's the next day but you didn't get a wink of sleep. You supposed it was because of the never-ending thoughts that flowed inside your head. 
It may have been two days since Lee Heeseung died, assuming that he killed himself at the strike of twelve on his birthday. You still can't wrap your head around it nor can you stop wondering why it's affecting you so much. 
Still, you begrudgingly get up from your bed. You look around and everything is the same spot it used to be and nothing has changed. Your books are still in the same place on top of the shelves, your cabinet is still open like how you left it, heck, even the wall clock that's been there for five years is standing strong. So why is it that you feel so lost? 
Fuck Lee Heeseung. 
"Can you stop occupying every single space in my brain for at least five minutes?" 
The boy is dead yet he's bothering you even more than when he was alive.
You groan once you hear your bitter thoughts. Immediately, you realize how cruel you were being and you mutter a silent apology to the boy in heaven before falling back onto your bed. 
A soft knock on your door catches your attention as your mom's head peeks through the space. "Darling, Are you awake?" 
You sigh. "Yeah. I'm up, Mom." You reply dryly, feeling the symptoms of a headache brewing inside your head.
"Great. Get ready, we're going to Heeseungs in a few minutes."
Lee Heeseungs funeral was a poor sight to witness. 
Everybody at the funeral was either crying, yelling out for the dead boy to come back, or had a sad look on their face. Bouquets of pretty and colourful flowers decorated the place and you wished you got the time to bring one for him too. There's also a huge chandelier hung in the middle of the room and rows of chairs adorned the place. At the front is a huge picture of the boy, smiling brightly like how you've mentioned before; lively and perfect. If only the casket holding his dead body wasn't there, then you might have smiled too.
The room was packed with Lee Heeseungs friends, relatives, and classmates. You even spot some of your teachers in the room as they pay their respects and you're not at all shocked when you see the school principal there either.
Your school principal is a fake, to say the least. You've watched him work and you've seen the way his face falls and scrunches in disgust when a person's back is turned to him. When he doesn't get his way, he manipulates people like the bastard he is just so he can get what he wants. You scowl as you watch him look into Lee Heeseungs casket, fake tears rolling down his cheek, continuing his act to seem like he cared for his students. You choose to ignore his presence for the time being because this night isn't about him, it's about Lee Heeseung and you intend to keep it that way.
A couple dressed in white stood at the front, right beside Lee Heeseungs coffin, catching your attention. 
Trailing behind your mother, you follow as she walks towards the said couple, greeting them with a sad smile, proving the hunch you had that these people were Lee Heeseungs family. 
"Hello, you must be YN. " The woman says, smiling fondly at you as she reaches for your hands, holding them inside hers and although her hands were cold due to the air-conditioned room, you let her. "Heeseung told us so much about you." 
At her statement, you're only able to reply with a confused smile. This confuses you because as you recall, you've never had any sort of interaction with Lee Heeseung that'll leave him wanting to tell his parents about you. You weren't close friends, nor were you ex-friends. So why does it seem like his mother already knows a lot about you? 
"Mom!" 
Suddenly, a boy who looked a few years older than you yelled from a few meters away, effectively catching your attention. He takes a quick jog towards you and scratches the back of his neck, awkwardly. "Hi, I'm Lee Heewon. Heeseungs older brother." He introduces, stretching his hand towards you. 
"It's nice to meet you" You smile politely, grabbing his hand before releasing it. "I'm YN." 
Lee Heeseungs older brother nodded, however, it seemed as if he already knew that. 
He reaches to wrap his hand around his mother's waist, whispering something to her. She replies with a confused look, scrunching her brows together and eyes squinting in confusion, yet she replies with a nod either way. Lee Heeseungs brother pulls away, looking at you and then asking if you would follow him. 
Although confused, you agree. "Mom I'll be right back, okay?" You tell your mother who is now sitting on one of the chairs, talking with Lee Heeseungs parents. She simply smiles at you and agrees, letting you off on your own with the boy before turning back to their conversation.
Looking back at the male, you nod as he gestures for you to follow him towards the corner of the room, where not that many people were around so the two of you could have a conversation in private. 
"Hi, so uh. Listen." He starts, eyes unable to look at yours as they shift everywhere, feeling awkward. "Heeseung-ie... he told us a lot about you because— uh, y'know what, I— I don't think it's my place to tell you this." 
"Huh?" You reply, stunned.
"Sorry, forget it." He dismisses. "It's just... he said he was going to do it." He finally heaves out. 
By the way his hands started getting clammy and shaky, you could tell the boy was nervous to tell you something. "I'm sorry but I don't understand what you're trying to say." 
He releases a hefty breath befor continuing, "Heeseung, he likes you, or at least he did." He whimpers at that, hands coming up to comb his unruly hair. "He would talk to us a lot about you and we always teased him about it because... he just couldn't confess to you." He finishes with a sad laugh. "B-but now, he's g-gone and..." His voice trails off and his face wears a sad smile as he remembers the moments he spent with his dear brother. 
Upon hearing those words, you stood rooted to your spot, unable to form a coherent sentence to respond to him. Like you've said before, you and Lee Heeseung were never close so when you found out that he had that big of a crush on you, so big that he couldn't help but tell his family, you were speechless, to say the least. "He... likes me?" 
The older male chuckles, incredulous. "You didn't know?"
You shake your head in response, "We weren't really close." 
"Damn, if Heeseung-ie heard you say that right now, he probably would've cried himself to sleep. The guy basically only had eyes for you." He comments, shaking his head as he laughs at the possibility.
Lee Heeseung likes me.
A sudden memory from about twenty days ago flashes in your mind and you're reminded of the time when you found a cute letter that was slid inside your locker on one warm afternoon.
'Hi, Y/N! If you're free, can you please meet me on the rooftop after classes end? 
- your secret admirer ♡' 
The short yet adorable note made your heart flutter and your chest bubble up in excitement as you read it. No one had ever bothered to confess to you, much less become your secret admirer. With you being so focused on your studies, you never made it a task to make yourself look good to please yourself and even more for other people. Of course you never want anyone to see you at your worst but at the end of the day, you don't really care as long as you don't look at yourself in the mirror.
After reading the letter multiple times, you finally concluded that you'd spent enough time fangirling and so, you eagerly folded the note and put it in a safe place inside your locker afterwards.
You were a loner, had no friends, and were basically isolated from everyone. You did feel sad about the fact you couldn't go to someone and gush about the letter to them— with no friends or siblings to approach, to whom were you supposed to go? But as you stood there alone on top of the rooftop with the sweet letter at hand, you were glad you didn't have anyone as you were greeted by no one other than the faltering light of the sunset.
No sign of anyone and certainly no signs of your secret admirer. 
So it was him. 
Lee Heeseung, you fucking coward. 
'Why did he not show up? Was he too embarrassed? What on earth did I even do to make him like me? Well, if he bailed on me just like that then he mustn't have liked me as much as his brother says he does.'
So many questions flew around your head that you didn't even notice that long gone was Lee Heewon, older brother of Lee Heeseung and instead, your mother stood in his place. The tapping on your shoulder is what brings you back to your consciousness, your eyes turning to look at your mother as she continues to look at you in wonder.
"Sorry, just spaced out." You apologise, blinking.
The evening goes on smoothly— as smooth as you'd expect a funeral to be. You saw his friends there; Sim Jaeyun, Park Jongseong, Park Sunghoon, and a few other juniors that you've seen around campus. Although you had so many questions in mind— so many questions to ask him, you brushed them off and prayed for his well-being up there with God instead, hoping that he was no longer suffering. 
His father, along with many others, gave tribute to the boy in the form of a long and heartfelt speech. With suicide grief, they’re dealing with trauma on top of the loss. With most people who die by suicide, it’s usually violent or tragic in some way— like what happened to Lee Heeseung. So, the person grieving has to deal with the fact that a person chose to take their life and that is how they died. That changes the grief process entirely.
Death can be tragic, like a murder or a car vehicle accident. But the stigma around suicide still exists today, and so family members have to contend with that piece as well. It makes their grief different.
"... I'm sure to everyone here, you all know that Heeseung was a kind and caring son. He was also a hardworking and honest student. A fun and talented friend." He continues. Your eyes danced across the room and situated themselves on his friends that were sitting in front. All of them were crying, gripping each other closer as they hugged one another, afraid that if their grip loosened, one of them might leave the others behind— just like their fallen sibling has. "And I'm sure he was a wonderful stranger to many of you as well."
"We'll never accept his death, for our Heeseung was one of a kind. Our family will continue to carry the sadness of losing him as grief is not something we ever get over, and it doesn’t ever stop. What we'll learn to do is grow around our grief, to encompass it and incorporate it or manage it into our own life,” He says. “We walk with it.”
“Every time you turn around— there’s a reminder of him, there’s a statement, there’s a feeling, there’s an emotion— and we ask you to not look past it,” His father says. “As we walk with this grief of losing him, we also hope that you don't forget him. Even though he isn't here anymore— physically, our family hopes that you'll still carry your memories of him inside your heart. Where he'll be forever until we see him again."
It's already nine in the evening when you get home. Feeling exhausted, you step inside the darkness of your room with a sigh, carelessly tossing your bag onto your desk as you plop down on your bed, staring at the ceiling— something you've been doing so much as of recently.
"Lee Heeseung..." You say to no one in particular. "You're such a loser" 
"Ouch," a voice suddenly says. Your eyes unnaturally widen in shock as you sit up from the position you previously laid in because as far as you knew, there's no one in your room besides you. Looking at the knob on your door, you see that it's locked, making it even more impossible for someone to come inside without you noticing. "That was a little harsh, dont you think?"
But finally, there, in the corner of your room, you watch as the figure of a boy suddenly appears out of thin air. He stood there with a smirk playing across his red lips. He has stunningly dark hair, a pointed nose, and cheeks that look lively and soft. You would assume he was just some normal boy who slipped into your bedroom but the intimidating dark aura that coats his figure, spreading throughout the space of your room says otherwise. 
A sense of fear envelops you as you stand up, stance as if ready to fight. "Wh-who are you!?" 
"Ah, that's a complicated question, y'know. I go by many names." He says. "Some call me the Grim Reaper, some call me Death but I prefer the name Sunoo the most so make sure to call me by that!" 
What 
the 
actual 
fuck 
?! 
Sunwoo— or whatever his name is, smiles deviously at you. His eyes crinkle in amusement as he watches you with your mouth agape, struggling to wrap your head around the fact that an otherworldly being might actually be in your room wearing a plaid shirt and Nike sweatpants. 
"Th-this can't be happening. This is all just a dream." You say, smiling freakishly as you move to pinch your arm, hoping to wake up from whatever nightmare this is, but all you do is yelp at the pain you've caused yourself. Feeling the pain you inflicted, your eyes take frantic turns looking at your reddened arm and the magical being sighing defeatedly at you.
"Listen," He calls out for your attention. Hearing the authority in his voice makes you tense up, stopping all your actions in the process. Your ears are tingling for some unknown reason but you can only guess that it's because of the overwhelming amount of panic being struck in your veins. "I'm here because I need a favour from you—" 
Before he could continue with what he was saying, you cut him off "No! No, you can not have my soul!" You scream out, hugging your body tightly around your shaking arms.
His eyes widen, index finger coming up to his lips to shush you "Stop. I'm not here for your soul—" 
"Good because I'm not giving it to you anyways." You humph. You're still scared of the boy as his powers and true intentions are still unknown to you. However, hearing that he isn't here to take your soul just yet is already enough for you to relax and gain some sort of fake confidence. 
"Will you stop cutting me off for a goddamn minute!" He shouts in a whispering manner. "I'm starting to regret coming to you for help." 
Your eyes squint. "What did you just say?" 
"Okay," He says before releasing a breath. "Do you want Lee Heeseung to come back?" He asks you slowly, watching your every move as if he expected you to scream out for your mother if he's not careful. 
Thankfully— or not, you don't. All you do is stand there, unmoving. In a swift move, Sunoo pushed himself off the wall he was leaning up against and made a cautious step towards you. 
"Do I want to... what?" 
Sunoo sighs in relief, thanking his familiars that your body hasn't frozen due to shock and that he doesn't have to collect another young body again. "Do you want Lee Heeseung to live again?" 
"H-How is that even possible to begin with?" 
"I can make it happen. I can send you back twenty days from now to when he was still alive and you can change his future." He explains. "Only if you are willing to." 
"Why me? Why not his friends? I'm sure they'd be willing to help. " 
The Grim Reaper shrugs, "I simply don't believe they can change the outcome and besides, I wouldn't have chosen you if I didn't think you could do it." He explains, smiling softly at you.
You stay in place, taking a moment to catch up with your thoughts as well as the events that are currently taking place. The reaper, who took the form of an incredibly charming looking boy, is inside your room asking if you would be willing to go back exactly twenty days so you could— 
Wait, what? 
"Twenty days? Why twenty days? There must be some sort of reason." 
"Because it took Lee Heeseung exactly twenty days to decide whether or not he was going to kill himself or not." Hearing that, you nod.
"And what will happen if I fail?" You ask, looking him in the eye. Afraid of what the answer might be, you caress your earlobe; a habit you had developed over the years when you would get nervous. "There must be some sort of consequence for tampering with time like this."
"I'm afraid there is, yes." The Reaper answers, head bowing in defeat. "Apollyon. If he finds out that I've messed with the cycle, he's going to try and do everything he can to stop you. He might hurt you or Heeseung I’m not sure. Although he can't kill you, there’s a possibility he might hurt you if you defy him." He exhales. 
"But don't worry too much about it." He composes himself and continues, "I'll try and do everything I can to stop him. If you succeed, then Lee Heeseung will come back and he'll be alive." 
This creature in front of you, this conversation, it all feels surreal. Naturally, your mind jumbles through all the possible horrendous outcomes of this bizarre situation. Someone could get fatally injured— not just you but the innocent could too. Is the life of someone you barely knew really worth all the pain you might cause someone else? Is it worth it to play this dangerous game of tag with Apollyon?
Lee Heeseung is someone you barely had no connections to. Besides the fact that you share a few classes together and have interacted even fewer, you knew nothing of the boy. The only feeling you have of him is a slight distaste but even that seems like a lie.
If only you didn't know that he was such a good person. If only you didn't know that he was a volunteer tutor at the daycare. If only you didn't see how many people loved and cried for him when they heard the news. If only you didn't know that he committed suicide on the same day as his birthday. If only you didn't see the way his bullies punched him.
Maybe, just maybe, if you didn't know any of these, you would've declined. But you couldn't.
Why is it that even despite hearing the danger you'll face, you're still yearning to agree? 
If you had the chance to save someone's life, wouldn't you debate on saying yes as well?
There's a risk of you getting harmed but you throw that away because there's only one thing that occupies your head. 
"Don't worry too much, once you've completed your task and I'm assured of Heeseungs future, I'll take you back to the present." His smile somewhat brought a tinge of comfort in you, finding a small bit of relief at the small gesture which only further jumbled your mind.
"I... fuck— Okay."
Lee Heeseung can come out of this whole mess alive. It's damn worth a try, isn't it? There's a possibility that everyone will be able to see that endearing smile again. You can save him from his unfortunate future. And lastly, you can give his grieving family their son back. 
So, with feigned bravery, you nodded before breathing out heavily, eyes locking with Sunoo's. "Let's do it."
Upon hearing your agreement, he expresses his happiness with your decision with an excited giggle. You're left once again to debate whether he was actually supposed to be what people called 'Death' as he claps his hands, finding him inconveniently cute. "Yes!" He cheers. "Tomorrow, when you wake up, it will be September twenty-five— exactly twenty days from now. Everything that happened before will be the same, except for the things you will change, of course. Remember YN, you only have one shot at this. I'll be with you along the way so don't hesitate to call me if you feel like you're being watched or just simply need help. I'm rooting for you."  
Change Lee Heeseungs fate. Sounds easy enough.
The Reaper— I mean, Sunoo grabs your shoulders and you still as he pushes you gently so you could sit on the edge of your bed. You give him a weird look but say nothing in return, getting the signal that he probably wanted you to go to sleep now. 
"Good luck, Y/N." You hear him whisper before your eyes close, suddenly feeling incredibly heavy as you fall into an effortless slumber. Being an insomniac meant that you didn't spend a lot of time sleeping at night. But as the moon shone, joined by the soft sound brought by the pitter-patter of the rain, you fell into one of the most comfortable slumbers you've had in a long long time. 
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"Y/N! Darling you're going to be late for school!" 
The piercing sound of your mother's voice mixed with the relentless knocking on your door makes you jolt awake. Indeed, as you turn to look at the huge clock in your room, you're late. 
You bolt up, making a beeline towards your dresser, grabbing your uniform and hurriedly putting it on, not caring to bathe or comb your unruly hair. However, when you catch sight of your calendar, you stop, limbs frozen in place as your eyes focus on the piece of paper. 
September 25... 
'Fuck, so that wasn't some weird dream after all.' You physically slap yourself for forgetting such crucial information, your forehead stinging because of your actions— though, you don't have the time to look if a red mark shaped like your hand is imprinted on it or not, before shrugging it off and focusing on continuing to put your clothes on. If you don't get to school today then you'll miss an important chance to find out something about the boy— and no one wants that.
After saying goodbye to your mother, you step outside, the rays of sunlight hitting you. The warmth of it makes you feel cozy in contrast to the feeling of the heavy rain you've been experiencing since a day ago— or should you say in the future? You have no idea.
"This time travel shit is messing with my head."
"Just stop thinking about it and it'll be easier." A voice says, popping out of nowhere, making you jump.
"Will you stop doing that!?" You scream out, feeling lucky that no one is in the vicinity to witness your outburst. "Seriously, you're going to give me a heart attack before I even get to Lee Heeseung."
"By the way, why do you call Heeseung 'Lee Heeseung'?" Sunoo asks. "Sounds a bit too formal for a classmate don't you think?"
"That's because we aren't close." You reply monotonously as you fish for your planner inside your bag, sighing gratefully once you've found it.
All you get is a hum from the boy before he disappears and you let out a satisfied hum of your own, happy that he's left you alone to do your own bidding.
As you step inside the establishment of your school, you go straight to the destination of your locker. After entering the right combination, it prompts open with a click and there, you see it. Your heart flutters the same way once again as you see the familiar note but this time, it makes you smile sadly, knowing what'll happen to the sweet boy who gave it to you— not to mention how he stood you up that evening either, or this evening? You still have no idea why your secret admirer, who you now knew was actually Lee Heeseung, ditched you when he was supposed to confess but you're sure as hell that you're going to find out why. 
Instead of putting the letter back in your locker as you did before, you grasp it in your hands, making the sudden call to look for the boy who gave it to you, wanting to see that he was alive and well. 
However, as your eyes scan over the halls, you find no traces of Lee Heeseung. A sudden feeling of nervousness consumes your chest as you look around for him but fail to spot a single trace of him or his friends. Before you get a chance to search the school grounds for him, however, the school bell rings, signaling that classes are going to start soon. Begrudgingly, you make your way inside the classroom you've been in several times before. 
The looming feeling of nervousness drops, your breathing fastening when you finally catch sight of him. 
Lee Heeseung is there, sitting on top of his desk, his nose wrinkling the same way his eyes are. His smile is bright and it showed his perfect teeth as he laughed at whatever conversation he and his friends were having. 
You don't care about the conversation, you care about him being there, looking so real that you almost ask yourself if you were dreaming until you remember what you're here for and why you've gone twenty days back into the past.
After finding out from his family that he likes you, all of the longing gazes and the shy smiles he sends you whenever the both of you make the smallest and shortest eye contact are now so crucially visible to you it hurts that you were so dense before not to notice. 
As you make your way towards your usual seat beside the window, you almost miss the way his eyes trained on you and the letter you held inside your hands. 
Lee Heeseung, why is my heart hurting? 
From the corner of your eye, you can see the way he bites his lip nervously as you open the letter he sent you. 
Like before, nothing has changed in the letter; it's the same words, the same question, the same handwriting, and the same stupid little heart that he put at the end of the note. You smile adoringly at the letter, folding it neatly before tucking it inside your bag as if it's a treasure.
From across the room, Heeseung suppresses his grin when he catches you reading the letter he slid inside your locker. His heart bubbles up in happiness to see that you didn't gag at the sight of it, knowing that you weren't the romantic type and basically never showed any kind of interest towards male suitors. Even though you barely ever throw a glance his way, his heart seemed to have a mind of its own when it fell for you. He admired your effortless beauty and the way you were so driven to always come out on top.
The first time he saw you was years ago when you had just moved into his neighborhood. He remembers looking out of the window, annoyed at all of the noise the truck hauling your furniture was making. His scowl immediately left his face however when he caught sight of you trying to pick up a box that looked like it was twice your weight. From his window, he watched as your small, flimsy body struggled to carry just one box inside.
He could have offered some help but the thought flew way past little Heeseungs mind as he was too shy to approach you at that time. Years have passed and it seems as if nothing has changed over the years. Sure he's grown taller, and gained more confidence— he could even say he was more attractive than most. But whenever it came to you, all his ego seemed to fly out the window and he would go back to the same shy boy he used to be.
However, nearing the age of nineteen he's grown tired of it all. That's why he slid that letter inside your locker, opting to make a big change. Its purpose is to finally express to you his undying feeling of admiration. And he's determined to pull through with it.
After minutes of hearing the same lecture, the school bell eventually rings, signaling that classes are finished and that you can all go and take your breaks. Yes, this meant lunch for your growling stomach. However, this is also the time Lee Heeseung is supposed to confess to you on the rooftop but will eventually fail to do so and you ought to find out why he stood you up. So, you hurriedly gather all your things, trying to catch up to the boy so you could follow closely behind him.
Making sure none of your stuff got left behind, you dash towards the door, eager to follow the said boy when a sudden voice calls out to you. "YN, Can I talk to you for a second?"
Fuck. You forgot today is the same day your teacher asks you to stay behind in class. It's so he could talk to you about the details regarding the literary contest in Busan that the school is going to compete in in three days. As the top student in your year, you're good at many things that involve using your wit, intelligence, and logic— physical labor isn't your strongest asset, thus, you're always the top option whenever it comes to district competitions.
The conversation doesn't go the same as before— the result of your intention to leave immediately. However, it doesn't end as quickly as you'd like it to. Your English teacher is known to be a chatterbox throughout the students of your year as he's known to beat around the bush, prolong the conversation, and dwell on non-school related topics— all of which you don't appreciate at the moment, but either way, much to your distaste, the conversation goes longer than you want it too. 
If this continues, you might not be able to catch Lee Heeseung at all and he'd think that you stood him up.
"Right. Great. I understand. I'll make sure to send you an email if I have any questions just like you said. Bye!" You say all in one breath, giving the man a thumbs up before sprinting out of the room, giving him no space or time to open his goddamn mouth which smelled like outdated anchovies by the way.
Frantically, you search every hallway in your building, desperate to find Lee Heeseung before it's too late. As you near the corner leading towards an exit, you hear a loud slam— as if something or someone was thrown against the lockers, followed by a thump as it hits the ground. 
Peaking at the edge of the corner, careful not to be seen, you see three boys huddled around one guy who looked vulnerable amongst the others and you immediately recognise who these people are. To any outsider, they would assume that these people are your typical high school bullies who liked to pick on people for fun but no.
These people, they're dangerous.
Associating oneself with these people automatically gives you a free pass into doing whatever wrong you can imagine. With their leader being the son of the biggest investor of your school, Choi Yeonjun, meant that every teacher, staff, and even the guidance counselor you're encouraged to approach for help will turn a blind eye to their actions as they tell you to forget the events ever happened. Beside him is Choi Beomgyu, a boy with undeniable anger issues. One trigger, one wrong action or move will have you six feet underground with him waving you off.
"Yah, Heeseung." One of them squatted down beside the said boy, who stayed seated on the filthy ground. You could only assume that the third guy who's squatted down beside him is Kang Taehyun as with him, their trio would finally be complete. Your eyes go wide as the realization hits you that the boy being picked on is actually Lee Heeseung, the boy you've been searching for for the past five or so minutes.
'So this is why he couldn't meet me at the rooftop before.'
When Lee Heeseung doesn't give any sort of reply, they scoff in annoyance, throwing a harsh kick on his stomach. Although you weren't the one hit, you wince in pain as you could only imagine the torture Lee Heeseung is going through.
"Come on, Heeseung-ssi. Just do as we say and we'll stop bothering you." Kang Taehyun says, grabbing a fist full of Heeseungs hair in his hands and forcing the boy to look up. "It's that simple."
Now, you can see the boy's face clearly— all thanks to the asshole that was pulling his hair away from his face. Lee Heeseungs lip is bruised up and there's a stray line of blood dripping down towards his chin. There's also blood gushing out from the damaged skin of his cheekbone, undoubtedly punched. By who? You have no idea but you could only guess it's from one of them.
"Fuck you." He spats out to the boy who's gripping his hair, blood mixing in with his saliva. From his position standing up, Yeonjun only scoffs in utter disbelief, poking his tongue on the side of his cheek to show his impatience.
Kang Taehyun wipes his face slowly using his hands. You can tell he's annoyed however he doesn't show it. Only showing how his temper has been running thin, and now, even thinner because of the blood mixed with saliva running down from his eye all the way to his cheek. "You son of a bitch!" He screams out before throwing a nasty punch at Lee Heeseungs already damaged cheekbone, worsening the wound. "Why're you defending that whore anyways, huh? I thought you liked that quiet kid in your class. Did she get too boring or did she finally find out how much of a stalker you are?"
Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath trying to calm yourself down but it seemed that doing so only made it worse as now, you're focused on their voices, their words, and at the way, every kick, punch, and slap is directed towards Lee Heeseung. 
The three of them let out an annoyingly loud laugh and it makes your skin crawl. Tearing your eyes away from the scene, you lean against the wall, unsure of what to do. You're sure you want to help Heeseung but the question is how? 
You're itching to do something, anything just to make all of it stop because you can't bear hearing his grunts every time they throw a punch his way or his small screams of pain as they kick his stomach. Lastly, you can't bear hearing their insults, the names they call him. Lee Heeseung doesn't deserve any of it but what can you do? There's only a handful of options you can think of that may benefit the both of you in the outcome. You can't just go out there to fight them. You're no boxer and you're certainly no athlete. One punch from them can easily knock you out, rendering you useless. The option of going out there and threatening them with a weapon isn't good either. It's three against two and you dont think Lee Heeseung can even stand up and fight so really, it's just you against three well-built bullies. 
Running out of time and favourable solutions, you choose to run. With all the strength you could muster, you dash away from the scene, running out of the building, praying to God that you find someone, anyone who you know is willing to help you fight against them.
His friends are your first option so you scurry around trying to find at least one of them when finally, sitting there at the bottom of the stairs leading towards the rooftop, you see Sim Jaeyun with his head propped up on one hand that rested on top of his knees and the other on he's using to scroll through his phone, seeming as if he's impatiently waiting for someone.
"Sim Jaeyun!" You're out of breath but you don't stop for air as the only thing in your jumbled mind that stays coherent is your drive to relieve the boy in need from his pain. "It's Lee Heeseung! He's… They're beating him up and I—I don't know what to do. Please help him." You ask, voice desperate and pleading.
Sim Jaeyuns eyes turn wide, immediately jolting up from his seat as he gestures for you to lead the way. The boy doesn't ask questions like "What happened?", "What's wrong?", "Is he badly hurt?" as his mind is too occupied with the thought of his brother being in trouble. The boy follows you as the both of you sprint back towards the same corner you had initially found Lee Heeseung and finds that the four of them are still there.
At the sound of your heavy running footsteps, the three of them turn their heads towards the both of you, followed by Lee Heeseung whose head felt heavy due to the endless beating he's received and the amount of blood he's lost. As the man beside you takes the scene of his friend looking battered and beaten, rage fills his veins as he lunges towards the three of them, not giving a damn even if he's outnumbered. You had guessed that Sim Jaeyun is stronger than he looked with the way three of them are struggling to contain the outraged boy. 
While they're preoccupied with each other, you use this as a chance to come to Lee Heeseungs aid. Running up beside him, you crouch down to his level, cautiously pushing his bangs away from his face so you could inspect his injuries. His wounds have gotten worse, bigger and bloodier. His lip is completely busted, swollen and full of cuts— even worse than when you left.  His cheeks are purple and swollen and you're angered to have found a new injury directed towards his left eye. Looking at him now, you can't help but feel like shit for leaving him alone to suffer at the hands of Choi Yeonjun and his friends, feeling useless that you couldn't have taken them all at once— like his friend is doing.
"H-Heeseung?" You ask him in a whisper, cupping his swollen cheek in your hands so you could turn his head to look at you and so that he could feel you there. He winces in pain and you immediately retract your hand, afraid to hurt him even further. "I-It's me, YN." You smile nervously, shy to have been so close to him.  "You're okay now. I got your friend? Sim Jaeyun, right? He's here."
Upon hearing that, he smiles dreamily, as if out of it before sighing comfortably, closing his eyes and passing out after due to exhaustion. "H-Heeseung?" You call out, stuttering as you tap his cheek. When he doesn't answer, you panic, quickly turning to Sim Jaeyun who just threw a punch at Choi Beomgyus face, knocking him to the ground. "J-Jaeyun! H-Heeseung isn't… He passed out, Jaeyun. I don't know what to do." You whimper, feeling helpless.
Endless punches, kicks, and shouts were exchanged by the four of them with Sim Jaeyun miraculously coming out on top. 
"You fucking bastards!" He screams, swinging his fist at Choi Yeonjuns face. Afterwards, he grabs the boy's collar, pushing his face closer as he threatens their leader. "I thought I already told you to stay away from him?!"
"Aw come one, Jake. You act like you're so different from us." One of them manages to cough out.
The boy is fuming as he takes in the unconscious figure of his dear friend lying on the ground and your distressed figure beside him, trying to make Lee Heeseungs unconscious body as comfortable as you can. There's a line of sweat coating his forehead but that's the least of his worries. Kang Taehyun is down on the ground, writhing in pain while clutching his stomach. Choi Beomgyu is leant against the wall as he spits out the blood that pooled inside his mouth, body swaying in dizziness. The only one left standing is Choi Yeonjun but you doubt he'd last long as you're proven right as he's immediately knocked down to the ground by the other.
"I swear, if you touch Heeseung hyung again, you three are really going to pay." He seethes out as neither of them reply, too tired and beat up to do so. Afterwards, he takes quick steps towards the two of you, immediately hooking Lee Heeseungs arm around his shoulders as you help him, the three of you exiting and going towards the nurse's office.
You're flabbergasted, to say the least. This is the first time you’ve ever witnessed a fight happen first-hand and you have a feeling this won't be the last if you keep associating yourself with his friend group. This side of Sim Jaeyun is unknown to you— as any side of him is. Having only known the boy as a mere bystander through the year, you had expected the boy to be an adorable puppy— much like his face. A happy-go-lucky friend that's cheerful and always ready to bring a smile to your face, not a punch. Perhaps you've judged too quickly as not everyone is the same as their cover shows. However, what makes your mind confused the most is how there's not a single ounce of fear in your body as you stand beside the boy.
The way his body moved so naturally in that setting made you wonder whether he's done this before, fighting. It seemed as if they had a history together, based on the words Sim Jaeyun let out in anger as he defended the older.
Speaking of the boy, you wonder what the reason for Choi Yeonjun and his crew targeting Lee Heeseung is— as you know they don't just mess around with random people. This eventually takes you back to the conversation they had prior to when you called Sim Jaeyun over for help. Lee Heeseung did something they didn't like, that's for sure. What is it? You have no idea but you ought to find out.
This might be the reason Lee Heeseung chose to take his life. The beating, the constant haunting done by the trio. Whether your hunch is fact or not, you'd do whatever it takes to find out, because after all, saving him is the reason you agreed to be sent back despite the danger, right? You only have one chance, so there's no room for failure. Soon enough, the creature named Apollyon is going to find out and you know for a fact that when he does, you're going to get hurt— much like how Lee Heeseung is right now. Standing beside Lee Heeseungs unconscious body which lay peacefully across the hospital bed placed inside the nurse's office, you can't help but feel a sense of responsibility to look after the boy when the creature does come and try to hurt the both of you. You wonder, is there a possibility that he's already found out? Within a day? Was this his doing?
Your mind buzzes as questions flow endlessly and you make a point to ask the Grim Reaper or rather, Sunoo, about this later, hoping that he can spare some details about what's going to happen.
You almost forget the fact that Sim Jaeyun is standing there beside you until he speaks. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that, YN." The said puppy-dog-faced boy apologizes, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.
"O-Oh it's fine, really. I understand." You try to assure him but your tone seems to have betrayed you. "I'm just glad Lee Heeseung's going to be fine."
"Yeah," Sim Jaeyun agrees, rocking his feet back and forth as he nods. "The nurse says all he needs is some ice and rest and then he'll be good to go."
You nod in understanding, happy that the damage dealt was minimal. There's a moment of silence that passes between the both of you as the other is unsure of what to say next. 
"Say, YN. I-I actually have a favor to ask you." He says smiling sheepishly, digging his hands inside the front pockets of his pants. You let out a hum, prodding him to continue as your eyes stay glued to the way Lee Heeseungs chest heaved every time he breathed. "If… um… Can you keep what happened earlier a secret?"
You tilt your head to the side as you tear your eyes away from Lee Heeseung to look at him. "Don't you think Choi Yeonjun and the others will tell someone before I even peep a word in?" You reason.
"They won't tell anybody about it, I'm sure." He assures you before sighing deeply, looking back and forth between you and his palms— as if he's debating on whether to tell you something. Noticing this, you give him an encouraging smile, motivating him to continue. This seemed to have worked as he finally found the courage to open up to you. "I've known those guys a while back. I— I'm not proud of my past with them. Those guys have big egos. They aren't going to admit to anyone they lost a fight with three against one."
Laughing at how convenient this all is, you ask "You used to be friends with them?"
"Yeah, I— um… used to." He answers. "We used to get into all sorts of trouble. Luckily, Heeseung hyung pulled me out and I left that life behind."
Nodding, you take the information in, failing to find the right words to reply with. Clearly, you aren't as observant as you thought you were as you had barely even noticed how Sim Jaeyun used to be in the same group as them. "It's a good thing he knocked some sense into you then." You conclude.
"He was great, really. He saw the good in me even when I didn't— when no one did, and I'm forever going to be thankful for that."
"You're a good guy, Sim Jaeyun. I'm glad Lee Heeseung has a friend like you by his side. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone about what happened today, I promise." You smile at him and he smiles at you back. 
After a while, he tells you that he'll be right back, informing you that he's going to go and tell the others what happened. Understanding the worry the others might have been feeling at the absence of two of their oldest, you nod, allowing him to leave you as you stay beside Lee Heeseung so you could provide him with some company when he wakes up.
"Oh, and YN— fuck. Wait, sorry. Is it okay if I call you that?" He asks and you nod, appreciating how he's asked you for your consent at the smallest thing like calling your name. He gives his own nod back, biting his lips to conceal his grin. "Great! And call me Jake, yeah? And I'm sure Heeseung hyung will appreciate it if you just called him Heeseung instead."
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A few hours passed and it's already three in the afternoon. Classes are almost done and you're happy to walk into the nurse's office hearing Lee Heeseungs voice talking and laughing, his body is now well and awake. The six of them came in about thirty minutes ago and you left for a moment to provide them some privacy. 
Upon your entry, his gaze locks with yours and all chattering and banter seem to stop as all heads turn to look your way. Now, all their attention is directed towards you as their expressions vary between shocked and speechless to mischievous and teasing— the latter being directed mostly towards the boy who laid in bed. It's not only theirs but his too. Lee Heeseungs eyes, you mean. You fidget with your hands from where you stood as heat pools across your cheeks, offering him a small, shy smile.
"Hi." Whispering, you wave a hand curtly towards his way. "You okay… Heeseung?" You ask, your voice faltering towards the end when you had said his name as you threw a glance at Sim Jaeyun, who you now refer to as Jake. He gives you a satisfied grin and a thumbs up, appreciating that you had accepted his previous request.
Calling him just by the name 'Heeseung' is still new to you and it sends your tongue into a frenzy every time you say his name as a rebellious surge of heat makes its way all throughout your body. Still, you love the feeling it gives you when it rolls out.
Heeseungs bambi-like eyes seem to widen, heat making its way to his bruised up cheek, seemingly forgetting your question as cheers and screams erupt around the room. Clearly, the younger ones like to tease their oldest. You're sure of this because of the way Park Sunghoon pokes Heeseungs shoulder, snickering at the older. Heeseung throws the boy a playful glare whilst telling him in a whispering manner to shut up. This doesn't seem to be the remedy for his problems however as now, everyone seems to be doing the same all at once; poking, teasing, snickering, and smirking.
You can't hide your own giggle as what you had expected to be an awkward check up on the boy had turned into pure chaos as you use the back of your hand to hide the grin on your face.
"Alright guys, that's enough." Park Jongseong is the one that finally shuts the others up, Heeseung throwing a thankful glance at the boy. "We'll leave you guys alone for a bit. I think Heeseung hyung has something to say to YN?" He inquires, casting a knowing glance towards the oldest who's now blushing an even deeper red than before.
The rest erupt into cheers, patting his shoulder as they make their way outside the door. Before they go out of sight, they give you a small wave, seemingly shy now that they're in front of someone they don't know as they sport a few small teasing grins. You bid them your own farewell, shaking your head at their nonsense, leaving Heeseung and you alone inside the nurses office.
"Um…" He starts, chewing the bottom of his lip, a nervous habit, you assume he has. "Hi, YN."
You tilt your head, smiling at him, happy that he's okay and finding the situation silly as you could only guess what's about to happen next. 
He's going to confess, like he initially planned.
"Hi, Heeseung." You reply, simply. "How're you feeling?" You ask.
His eyes widen, seeming to have forgotten his current state as he realizes and takes a look at the multiple bandages covering his healing wounds. "O-Oh! These? These are nothing. I'm okay!" He assures you quickly, shaking his arms in front of him as if to show you he was well.  "Nothing I can't handle."
"Don't tell me you're used to getting beaten up, Lee Heeseung. I never took you as a scuffler." You say in a teasing manner. 
For the umpteenth time since seeing him in a conscious state, he widens his eyes cutely and he's quick to deny your playful accusation. "N-No! That's not what I meant! I don't get into fights, I swear!" He says, shaking his head cutely and it makes his hair sway. "I'm a good guy. You can ask Jake!"
You shake your head, finding his reactions funny. "I know, Heeseung. I'm just messing with you."
Taking a look inside Heeseungs mind, it's filled with thoughts of you; how you're talking to him right now, how he's managed to say coherent words to you, how pretty you look, how you're looking at him, how he's in the same room as you are. He's in chaos right now, trying to calm his fastening heartbeat. 
He's always found you so beautiful, his adoration only growing as he grew taller. In his mind, he thinks that you probably don't pay attention to him much but still, you have all of his. He's seen the way you act around your parents, so caring and gentle. How you're so unbelievably smart, winning all the competitions and gaining the highest marks. How passionate and driven you are when you set your mind on something. Those were only some of the things he loved about you.
Out of the blue, he takes a deep sigh. "Y-YN…" He calls out and you reply by humming as you tilt your head, waiting for him to continue. "I actually have something to tell you."
His face has only grown hotter by the second, trying to gather the confidence to finally tell you what he's been dying to confess for years. In a way, you feel as if you're cheating, already knowing what he's about to do and thus, lacking the suspense you're supposed to feel. But you can only feel a tinge of guilt as you take a look at his expression, so adorable and deer-like while you wait for him to confess. 
Still, you feel giddy regardless of knowing. "Yeah? What is it?"
"I— I've actually liked you… for a while now." He says, shyly, looking at your expression. "This might actually seem kinda weird— is it? Umm, I-I don't know. Sorry, this is so awkward. I'm awkward! Not you!" He rambles on. 
"This is definitely not how I wanted this to go." He mutters the last part mostly to himself but still, you hear it. Giggling at his antics, you shake your head, using the back of your hand to cover the shit-eating grin that's on your mouth, not wanting to make him feel embarrassed any further as you tell him to go on. Breathing out, he clears his throat before speaking, " I-I like you, YN."
Although you already knew that, your heart still seems to be flustered, beating faster than you had expected. As you take in his confession, a surge of heat dances across your whole face, much to your protests. Truthfully, you're not sure what to reply and you have no idea where this side of you that's all shy and playful came from. Does he bring out a side of you that even you were unaware of having? Maybe. Talking to him seems so comforting, so calming that it seems to just come out naturally when you're around him— albeit, this is the first time it's happened. 
Did you have any interest in Lee Heeseung before knowing what happened? 
'No, no, I definitely didn't.' 
Way to make it more obvious, smartass.
Okay, so maybe you did have some interest in him way back then. It was a simple crush really. He's your classmate. You found him nice to look at. You also found out that he's an incredibly nice person. Thus, just for the sake of having someone to crush on, purely for inspiration purposes, you chose him, reasoning that he's the best candidate and suited your 'ideal man'; tall, big and pretty eyes, tall nose, pouty lips, huge ears, prominent Adam's apple. You inwardly sigh whilst rolling your eyes, realizing that you've been describing how Lee Heeseung looks and him being your 'ideal man.'
Being the introvert you are, you never bothered to make a move and confess to him about it, nor did you assume that he was the secret man who left a love letter to you so he could confess.
Would you have still saved him if you were oblivious to the fact that he loved you? Yes, definitely. There were no questions asked about that. But now he's here. Sure, you admit this isn't how you expected him to confess to you; him laying on a hospital bed, all bruised up after you had just helped save him from a fight, but it's real and true and that's all you desire in a man.
"R-Remember the love letter that you got this morning? That was actually me. I'm sorry I didn't get to confess to you on the rooftop like I said I would. And I'm sorry I'm confessing to you like this." He says, apologising although it's not his fault. "But I'll take my chances and ask anyway. YN, would you… err… mind dating me?"
And now, the answer seems so simple, so clear. You like him and he likes you. What idiot are you to pass up a chance to fall in love with someone like him? Taking this mission on, you didn't expect to come out of it with a potential boyfriend. That is, if you succeed in saving him. 
You're still not too confident, thinking that you aren't the best person for this as changing someone's mind about committing suicide when they're so set on doing so is harder than you it let's on to be. However, The Grim Reaper's words resonate in you, reminding you that you're the only person that can do this, and so, you'd like to think that being close to him like this will help and also because maybe acting upon your feelings doesn't seem so bad. Even if there's a chance he might leave you heartbroken in the end.
So, yes. "Yes, I'll gladly date you Heeseung. I'd be really happy to." 
And now, you're really in it. You're going to save Lee Heeseung.
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SEPTEMBER 26 ༉༊
After Heeseung had confessed to you in the nurse's office and being the head-over-heels man that he is, Heeseung immediately sprang up the idea of the two of you going on a date this Saturday— which is tomorrow. Grinning, you happily agreed, completely forgetting the literary contest you had to prepare for. However, as of the moment, that's the least of your worries because if things go according to how it happened before, you'll win the contest in Busan and go back home with a medal and certificate in your hands.
Leaving with each other's phone number, you bid the other goodbye, wearing the same identical grin on your faces. Leaving the room, you left with the promise of meeting each other again tomorrow lingering in the air while the last school bell rings.
That confession would've never happened if you weren't given the task to be sent back in time to save him. Although it's irrelevant, now, you hold no grudges towards your secret admirer because the reason he couldn't meet you wasn't because he stood you up, but because he was actually getting beaten up. If you didn't opt to search for the boy, the fight would've lasted longer, leaving him with an even more horrible outcome.
Currently, you're sprawled across your bed with nothing to do but think and reminisce about the events that happened and that're going to happen. You opt to think of a course of action ahead of time, trying to remember all the events that are going to take place in the next twenty days so you could maneuver around it.
Tomorrow, instead of going on a date with your highschool crush, you stayed in your room to practice for the literary contest and the same will happen tomorrow.
On Monday, you and a few other willing students who want to show their support for the school will go to Busan. This leaves you wondering if Heeseung was there because when school work is involved, you don't pay attention to anybody else but the work at hand. So it's hardly unlikely for you to remember or to even notice his presence. But in the end, like you've said, you'll win and come home happy as the rain will start pouring on your way back home. The next day, you were absent as you had played in the rain the night prior, rendering you sick and unable to go to class.
Amidst your thinking, a gust of wind suddenly made your windows fly open, curtains swaying wildly. Your heart rate slightly picks up, suddenly feeling nervous as chills run along your arms, giving you goosebumps. You sit up and kneel on top of your bed, peeking out the opened window only to see a cat walking along the roof of your neighbours house. This makes you calm down, sighing in relief as you close the windows shut. Suddenly, you hear a whip of air followed by a thud coming from behind you. The sound makes you turn quickly, eyes widening in shock to see Sunoo there, looking out of breath.
"Sunoo! For the last time, will you stop scaring me like that!?" You scream as you rush to stand up, stopping once you're in front of him as you hold a hand above your beating heart.
But all he gives you is a guilty smile. "Sorry, YN. It's fun seeing your reaction every time I scare you."
Rolling your eyes, you huff at the boy, crossing your arms at your chest. "It's not funny, you ass." Your eyes narrow, leaning your face close to his. "Where have you been anyways? I've been waiting for hours." 
"Nowhere. Just trying to keep things unnoticed as much as I can." He shrugs as if it's nothing, pulling your desk chair back to sit. "Anyways, I have good news." He smiles widely, making his cheeks look plumper.
"Yeah, well that sucks because you have to answer my questions first. I assume you saw what happened today." You ask, quirking your eyebrows up, daring him to protest and you let out a satisfied hum when he only replies with a nod. "Say, what happened to Lee Heeseung before? I was busy preparing for a contest back then, I barely took notice of him." You casually ask, turning your back to him as you start walking towards the small shelf at the corner of your room.
He sighs, the cheerful and bubbly aura on his face wavering, showing remorse and pity in its place. "Heeseung went into a short coma after almost getting beaten up to death." He starts and you listen with wide eyes, shocked that you were so preoccupied to the point where you didn't know that something so life-threatening happened to one of your classmates.
As if to reminisce about the past incident, Sunoo looks outside, moonlight hitting his face as he admires it. "That day when he was supposed to meet you at the rooftop, he got stopped by those three. They started beating him up because he was a witness to something horrible they did. Heeseung wouldn't agree to turn a blind eye like they wanted him to so they beat the crap out of him. He got beaten up over and over after he woke up and was well enough to go back to school again. His family isn't that rich and they already have trouble paying their usual bills. As you know, hospital bills aren't cheap and they have to work themselves to death just to pay their debt. Heeseung could tell they were all having a hard time because of him." Picking up a random pencil on your table, he starts fidgeting with it, twisting the object between two fingers as he continues to tell you Heeseung's story.
"Heeseung changed after that day. He suddenly got more serious, more stoic and he even stopped hanging out with his friends all together. He stopped doing everything he loved and drowned himself in work. He was still getting beaten up by those three until all of it became too much to bear for a high school student. That, along with carrying the guilt of knowing… N-Nevermind. Eventually, you know… He… He killed himself."
"So if I didn't arrive there at all he would've gotten into a coma and all of this would've happened?" Sunoo nods sadly, speaking the truth. Your heart feels dejected and hurt as drops of what would usually be rain but —are now replaced with tears of your own— make their way down your face for the first time in what seemed like forever. Your thoughts are scrambled, filled to the brim with emotion, when suddenly, you remember something that doesn't quite make sense to you still. "You said he was a witness to something, what was he a witness of?"
"I-I don't know if it's my place, YN." He's hesitant to say as he tries his best to avoid eye contact with you. Already feeling the guilt of not knowing something so vile happening to someone, you're speechless when he doesn't tell you.
"Oh for goodness sake! You already brought me back here against the universal laws, I'm doing this with the fear of me and the people around me getting fucking hurt. I'm sure you can tell me what he saw." You scoff. Still, he seems conflicted about whether to tell you or not but his hesitance only annoys you so you press him on even more. "What did he see, Sunoo?" You ask, pausing in between words.
"YN… I-I really think you should ask Heeseung, instead. I won't be able to give you the full—"
"Just tell me what you know!" You scream out. "I'm so sick of this! You want me to help him yet you give me nothing to go off of. How am I supposed to save him if you won't tell me why he's getting beaten up?!"
"That's the thing! You've already saved him, YN!" He replies back enthusiastically, hoping you'd change your mind. "You're a smart kid YN. I'm sure you know what the butterfly effect theory is, don't you?"
You pinch the bridge of your nose in annoyance. "Yes, I do and what about it?" You deadpan.
"You managed to save Lee Heeseung from his coma! Meaning, his family won't get flooded with debts and he won't feel guilty for being the reason for it. That's enough to lessen the pain Heeseung felt and he won't be pushed to take his life anymore." It sounds absurd but his theory pans out right. With you arriving early to the scene, Heeseung didn't get beaten to the brink of death, saving him from his coma and lessening his feeling of being a burden. It seems like a small change but the effect is massive. Just like what the butterfly effect entails.
"We can go back right now while they still don't know about it and you won't be harmed." His offer seems too good to be true but you see no signs of error with his plan.
But still, you're bothered, itching to know what Heeseung has seen. "If we continue now won't Heeseung still get beaten up by those shit heads?" 
"He'll fight back this time. With you and the others by his side, his resolve is now stronger." He's not telling you the whole truth.
By the way his hands are moving and the tone of his voice, you can tell he's lying. He might be an otherworldly being but the boy doesn't know anything about being a good liar.
"And what about the thing he witnessed, are you willing to tell me now?" You ask, leaning your body weight onto on foot whilst crossing your arms over your chest.
"No." He tries to answer simply. However, you notice the way his jaw clenches along with his fists whenever you touch upon the subject. "You don't need to know about that, YN."
"And why is that? You've told me useless information before. Surely this isn't any different than those." 
"It is, YN." He tries convincingly but in the end, his gaze falters as he locks eyes with your persistent ones, finally realizing that you weren't going to stop asking until he told you. So with a sigh of defeat. "Five days ago, when Heeseung was on his way back home from school, he saw a girl being assaulted by those people who beat him up. Before they could do anything to the girl, Heeseung managed to rescue her and get away. In the original timeline, Heeseung and the girl will press charges and fail. The girl… she'll continue living her life in fear of them coming back. She blamed Heeseung for not being able to do anything. She said that if he couldn't help her put them in jail then he should've left them to do what they wanted with her; that it was all his fault."
'Ungrateful bitch.'
You don't have any idea who the girl is but your blood feels like it's going to boil through your skin with your hand itching to touch a certain someone's cheek. Despite what you know she's been through, all you feel is hatred and malice towards the girl as there's not an ounce of sympathy as you're unable to wrap your head around her thought process.
"How can someone be so ungrateful!?" You scream out in shock. "He's just as much of a victim than she is and she has the fucking audacity to blame him? The person who saved her?" You don't expect a reasonable answer from the boy, more so saying it out of disbelief and anger.
Far from his usual bubbly self, Sunoo only replies with a nod, seeming to be ashamed as he bows his head down, unable to look you in the eye.
"Why did you keep this hidden from me?" You sigh in exasperation, nudging your chin towards him.
"She… She's actually my sister, sadly." He smiles both in shame for her sister's actions and sorrow for what could have almost happened to her. "I guess I was just ashamed."
Speechless, you stammer for a few moments, mouth open and closing in shock as you try to compose a more coherent sentence. "Wow, I guess we can't really choose our relatives, can we?" You sight out, smiling sadly. "I'm sorry for talking crap about her like that."
All Sunoo does is shrugs. "It's okay. She wasn't always the best sister." 
"Okay then. As long as Heeseung is fine, I'm willing to go back." You breathe out, patting the sides of your thighs to ready yourself. Sunoo smiles at you, nodding in appreciation.
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OCTOBER 16 ༉༊
Opening your eyes, you're met with the same frost that the rain brought you like the last time you went to bed. The only difference your half-awaken body could comprehend is the amount of pillows suddenly decorating your bed— not to mention how hard the one placed on your back feels. Gripping the blanket tighter around your body, you turn in place, humming in satisfaction when the pillow wraps its arms around your waist tighter. In your state, you snuggle deeper into its warm embrace.
You stay like that for a couple of minutes, trying to catch your dreams as you relish the comfort both your pillows and blankets were giving you when out of nowhere, a chuckle breaks its way through your ears, catching you off-guard. With wide eyes, you turn around in a quick motion and sure enough, like a male lead in a teenage romantic drama, Lee Heeseung is laid there beside you on the bed, looking at you with stars in his eyes. Seeing your expression, he giggles and it feels like he's serenading you with tooth rottingly sweet songs while his nose crinkles with glee as strands of his hair decorate his puffed up face.
In this moment, you could tear up. In fact, that's just what you do, you burst into tears the moment you lock eyes with him. Sobbing, you bury your head at the crook of his neck as your hands wrap around his waist tightly, afraid to let go because you think that if you do, you might wake up. Your own tears stain his neck but he doesn't seem to mind, more so showing concern towards your actions. He pats you in the back, asking you what's wrong, but you only reply to him with a defiant shake of your head and a hard squeeze as he tries to take a look at you.
"YN?"
He's alive and he's laying down beside you. Your heartbeat is fastened, stupefied by how you could feel his touch on your skin, how you could feel his breath on your forehead, and how you can feel the beating of his heart through the thin layer of his plain white t-shirt. He’s the only thing you can feel and you’re over the moon by it.
“H-Heeseung.” You hiccup, leaving his neck to look at his face as you cup his cheeks with both hands. “You’re here.” You breathe out, chuckling as you smile through your tear stricken face.
His eyes are filled with worry as he looks at you, hand coming to mirror your actions as he wipes the stray tears that left your eyes. “I’ve been here since yesterday, baby. What do you mean?”
Although you’re confused by how Lee Heeseung, your classmate who had just confessed to you, is in your room, sleeping beside you, you don’t question it. Wanting to indulge in the moment longer, you bury your head in his chest in a hug, overjoyed by the outcome of your crazy adventure. Truely, it's a blessing in the skies to have Heeseung beside you, living and breathing. What’s more lucky is how your relationship with him has seemed to blossom after your obscure confession, but you wouldn't have it any other way because right now, Heeseung will be right beside you, always— just where you want him to be.
“Did you have a nightmare again?” He pouts with furrowed brows. “I didn’t cheat on you in your dreams again, did I? Dream Heeseung is actually such an asshole.” He finishes by rolling his eyes in disgust.
He’s insulting himself and normally, you would be against it, voicing your distaste through your inner thoughts, however, instead of doing that, you laugh, finding his humor comforting while his body is pressed against yours.
Now, you don’t mind the thunderous rain anymore. With Heeseung beside you, you feel like you can have a positive view on everything bad that gets thrown your way. Besides, what's the worst that can happen? Him dying? No problem, you have a reaper as a friend to help you with that. 
Although yours and Heeseungs relationship hasn’t been online for that long, you’ve come to the realization that in your case, time is irrelevant. Time is complex and always changing. Some may say that time goes by too fast and for some, too slow, however, there is one thing you know that will never change, and that’s Heeseung. With time, your admiration for him will only grow, turning into love and the next is what’s beyond that. As you watch the way his eyes shine every time he talks, you dive in deeper, willingly drowning yourself in him until he’s all that you can see, hear, feel, touch, and taste. With time, the both of you will grow, change, and mature, but that doesn’t scare you. You aren't frightened that he might turn into someone else and leave the highschool Heeseung behind him, no, because like time, Heeseung is ever so changing.
How you know your relationship was formed might not be what others perceive as normal, but to you, it’s perfect. No matter how many lives you live nor how many universes there are, you’ll still choose him because at the end of the day, who doesn’t want Lee Heeseung to sing them to sleep. It’s like walking around with a spotify premium wherever you go!
Nevertheless, you’ll protect him and he'll do the same for you. With this frail and useless body of yours, you’ll defend him. It doesn't matter who you're dealing with or how big the problem is because he knows that you’ll be there by his side. With that thought and your love in mind, Heeseung feels like he could conquer the world— not that he wants to anyways. All the things he wants in life are already right in front of him, in the shape of you. Sure, it’s short, messy, and can get incredibly emotional at times but that doesn’t matter because he wouldn't want you any other way than yourself.
"Belated Happy Birthday, by the way." You whisper through your tears..
From outside the water stained window of your room, two prying eyes are peeking in, looking at the loving couple sprawled across their room on a rainy day.
“Sunoo, you’re lucky this didn’t cause any trouble with the time cycle.” Apollyon says whilst sighing in defeat once he turns his head and notices that the reaper he came here with just continues to blatantly stare at the both of you with longing in his eyes. “You’re new that’s why im letting you get away with this but I'll have you know that if you do something like this again—”
“I know.” The boy simply replies.
Tired, he shakes his head at the boy in defeat. Like the other, he turns his head to look at the unknowing couple happily talking to each other. Heeseung leans his lips near your ear, whispering. You listen to him eagerly, eyes growing animatedly wide once he’s finished and a feverous red-hot blush coats your face. He leans away to look at your reaction, however before he could, you turn your head away, slapping his chest and pointing a lecturing finger at him afterwards. 
“They’re good for each other.” Apollyon comments, complimenting the both of you. “You’re more suited to be cupid instead of reaper, don't you think?” He jokes which the other only shrugs in response.
“By the way, about the soul you're looking for—”
“Leave it.” 
Apollyon stops and looks at the boy with disbelief written across his face. “A-Are you sure?”
“I'm sure. She deserves peace and I’m not going to be the one taking it away from her.” Sunoo says, smiling even though his heart felt like it was chipping away.
“Besides, she killed herself to get away from me, didn't she?”
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jujitto · 8 months
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𝖯𝗋𝖾𝗍𝗍𝗒 𝖫𝗂𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾 𝖳𝗎𝗍𝗈𝗋 | 🎧 . !! 𝖫𝖾𝖾 𝖧𝖾𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗎𝗇𝗀
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—★! 𝗐𝖼 ! 𝟣.𝟨𝗄
—★! 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗍𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀 ! 𝖽𝗈𝖾𝗌 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍?!
—★! 𝗌𝗒𝗇𝗈𝗉𝗌𝗂𝗌 ! 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝗎𝗍𝗈𝗋 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗍𝗍𝗒, 𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝖺𝖽𝗆𝗂𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍. 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝖾𝗌 𝗁𝖾 𝖽𝗂𝖽 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗁𝖾𝗋, 𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖺𝖽𝗆𝗂𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖺𝗌 𝗐𝖾𝗅𝗅. 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝖽𝗈 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗂𝗍 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖻𝖾𝗍𝗐𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗉𝗎𝗋𝖾𝗅𝗒 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝖿𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗅. 𝖴𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗅 𝗂𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗌𝗇'𝗍.
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Heeseung had a pretty tutor. Something he is glad to admit. Yes, he had a pretty tutor and yes he may or may not have a small itty-bitty crush on her. But what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. But it does hurt him.
As he watched as his friends talked about you. Saying how pretty and nice you were. Especially Jake, the bumbling Aussie just kept complimenting you. Saying how you always laughed at his jokes and how each time you laughed, your hand would come to rest on his arm. 
Heeseung just listened, his eyes wanting to burn into Jake as he continued talking. Heeseung knew he had no right to be jealous, Jake knew you first. But yet he couldn’t help but be jealous. No. He wasn’t jealous.
At least that’s what he tried telling himself. His phone buzzed, interrupting his internal struggle. A message from you appeared on his screen. One mostly likely to do with the tutoring session later today. He mumbled to himself as he collected his things, getting his friends' attention. 
“Don’t tell me you’re leaving?” One of the questions as Heeseung shrugged. ‘It’s not like you guys were talking to me anyways.’ He thought to himself. “Y/N.” That’s all he said before they all let out a sigh of realization.
Two of them seemed to laugh as both Jake and Heeseung turned to look at them confused. “Off to see your pretty little tutor.” Heeseung’s grip on his bag tightened as he shot them an annoyed look. 
They both held up their hands in mock surrender. “Hey don’t get mad at us when it’s your fault, you can’t man up and ask her out.” Silence settled over the table as the two of them laughed. Heeseung clenched his jaw, his friends' words hitting a nerve. Jake sat there silent, not knowing what to say. 
Heeseung let his hand fall to the table with a bang. Causing his two friends to look at him with wide eyes. He didn’t speak, only just stared at them. His gaze was hard as he glared at them. It wasn’t often that Heeseung was mad. He was a chill guy, but his friends just had to hit a nerve, didn’t they? Before any of them could get a word out, Heeseung had already left. Jake turned to look at them as they shrugged. 
Y/N sighed, her fingers tapping against the surface of the desk. It had been an hour since she texted Heeseung about meeting at the library for the tutoring session and yet he still wasn't there. Looking at the clock, Y/N found herself giving him 15 more minutes to show up before she left. 
Pulling out her phone, she opened his contact, typing out a text asking where he was. Her finger lingered over the send button hoping that he would walk through the door at the very moment. Minutes had gone by before she pressed the button sending the message on its way. She placed her phone back down before looking at the textbook with the lesson she planned to review with him. 
She had told him from the very beginning that she had other students to tutor. And yet she was waiting for him when she could be helping someone else. Sighing, Y/N couldn’t help but be disappointed. 15 minutes were almost up. Y/N sighed once again as she started packing up her things. The textbook lay discarded on the table as she walked out of the room, flipping off its lights. 
Before she could make it out of the library door, she was met with the apologetic face of Heeseung. She stared blankly at him as he stood there rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. Y/N still stared at him, not saying a word, before turning on her heels and walking back to the study room.
Heeseung followed her, wanting to apologize but decided to keep quiet. Y/N took a seat back in her chair as Heeseung did the same. She pulled back out all the supplies before turning to look at him. Heeseung looked at her apologetically once again before she shook her head crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m sorry-” Y/N cut him off with a glare.
“Sorry isn't going to fix this. I told you I have other people I have to tutor but no I'm here waiting on you. Did you even think to text me? No. No, you didn't.” Y/N paused, sighing as she cupped his face in her hands.
“I'm glad you're okay. I hate when you make me worried, y’know. You're lucky you have just an amazing and caring person as a tutor.” She gently pushed his head away before bringing the textbook to the center of the table where they both could see.
Heeseung’s lips curled into a smile as he watched her flip through the pages of the book. Y/N was too busy trying to find a page with the lesson to notice Heeseung staring at her. She was in her own little world. That was until he called her name. She blinked confused, looking up from the textbook to find his eyes on her. “Huh?” She questioned tilting her head to the side as her glasses slipped down her nose.
Heeseung instinctively reached forward, gently pushing the glasses back up her nose. Y/N flustered, looking away from him and down at the book. “You said something, right?” Y/N asked him, not once taking her eyes off of the book. Heeseung thought for a moment before repeating what he had said.
“Have I told you that you are pretty?” Y/N froze at his words. Her fingers curled onto the page as she stared at the textbook with wide eyes. The question had taken her by surprise. Of course, it did. She shook her head, turning to peek at him from the corner of her eye. He sat there, a smirk on his lips. Y/N sighed, turning to face him. “Why do you do that?” 
Heeseung tilted his head in confusion, the smirk still apparent on his lips. “Do what?” He questioned knowing all too well what he was doing. Y/N stared at him blankly. She knew that he knew what he was doing. Oh, how she wanted to slap the smile off his face. “Can’t I appreciate how pretty my tutor is and possibly ask her on a date?” 
Y/N stared blankly at him before shaking her head. He never got the message, did he? Y/N sighed for what felt like the 10th time that evening. “And why do you want to do that?” Heeseung huffed out a sigh as he turned to look at y/n, his head tilted back against the chair lazily holding Y/N’s gaze.
“You have rejected me 5…no 6 times since this tutoring thing began. And those were just me asking to buy you coffee for how hard you’ve been working as my tutor. Now I’m asking to take you on a date. I like you, what's so hard to believe.” Y/N blinked, her eyelashes fluttering in disbelief.
Has it been 6 times since she rejected him? She didn’t know she wasn’t keeping count. “Oh, so you did realize that I rejected you six times and you know the reason why. Because I am your tutor and I can’t have a relationship like that with one of my students. Do you know how unprofessional that is?” Y/N stood from her seat, rambling on and on as Heeseung watched. 
He knew she had a point and yet he couldn’t be bothered enough to care. He liked her. He clearly admitted it. He stood from his seat, interrupting her rant that continued to go on as she pointed and cursed at him in both English and some other language, he didn’t know. Y/N groaned feeling irritated, no agitated with him as she was about to ask him to leave when she pushed up against the desk. 
Books and papers fell to the floor as Heeseung placed his hands on either side of her on the desk, his face inches from her own. Y/N couldn't speak, her mouth falling open in slight surprise as he closed the space between them, pressing his lips against hers. Y/N couldn't move. As much as she wanted to, she found herself leaning into the kiss. Her hands came to rest on his chest. Her eyes fluttered shut, the feeling of his lips pressed against hers was slowly making her lose her mind. 
His hands slid to her waist, as he deepened the kiss. The soft sigh that fell from her lips had him smiling, knowing he had won. Until the loud sound of the timer she had set went off. Y/N’s eyes snapped open at the realization of the situation. Pushing him away she scrambled off the desk, reaching for her bag to silence the noise. Heeseung watched his face flush from the kiss. Y/N didn't say anything.
She stood staring at her phone in hopes of disappearing from this awkward moment. Heeseung reached out for her, only to stop when she turned to face him. Her eyes were blank as she spoke, “Next lesson is Thursday. Don't be late.” She collected up her things about to leave when she stopped just short of the door. Handing him a sheet of paper, she sighed with a gentle smile, “Don't ruin this okay?” 
And with that she left, leaving Heeseung in the now empty room. He sat back down, holding the piece of paper in his hands. A grin spread across his face as he read what she had written, “Do good on the next test and maybe I’ll consider it. ;).” Heeseung smiled, folding up the paper before pocketing it. Heeseung was certain. He would make you fall for him. His pretty little tutor. 
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heeliopheelia · 1 month
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𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐅𝐅 𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓
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genre: hurt/comfort, angst, fluff
word count: 4.3k
warnings: cursing, crying, neglect, tiny mention of bleeding
a/n: i think i win the contest of overusing commas with this one 🤍 tbh this fic is just yapping so pls deal with me... it's good to write some proper angst again tho, i missed it :(( hope you guys like it and don't find them too repetetive!!
masterlist
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LEE HEESEUNG
It's been two weeks since you got the opportunity to take a proper look at Heeseung. And now as you do, you find it hard to recognize your fiancé who looks like he's about to collapse from exhaustion, to say the least. 
“I never asked you to mother me or worry about me so much. Stop getting into my business so much. I’m not a child, YN.”
It’s like he was blind to how hurt his words and actions were making you feel. It’s so unusual for him, so out of character and unfamiliar to you, that you can’t help but think that maybe it really is your fault for riling him up this much.
“I worry about you because I’m your fiancé and I love you, you jerk!” You scoff at his careless words and take a step back, the aching in your heart only increasing. “I only want to look after you because you clearly don't know how to do it yourself. I mean, look at yourself! You look as if you haven’t slept in a week and I know you haven’t been eating either. How can I not worry about you when all you do is neglect yourself?”
“Dunno, maybe find yourself something to keep you busy enough. You stay at home all day, do as much as nothing, no wonder you’re so damn nosy. I would be too with this much time on my hands.”
He’s so indifferent to everything you say, you try to recall where it all started going so wrong. All you did was ask whether he’s eaten at work or not, and now the two of you are snapping at each other as if you weren’t lovers, and trying not to hurt each other was a long forgotten thought by now. 
“If you’re so unhappy with our relationship – with me, maybe it’s best we take a break,” you say as you feel your throat tighten painfully. 
“Agreed. I never even wanted this marriage in the first place,” he scowls, silencing you, words rolling out of his mouth way quicker than his brain is able to process it. 
He bites his words back quickly when he watches your face dropping along with your shoulders, and fuck, you look as if you’ve given up on him right then and there. 
You walk away then, tears streaming down your face, muttering something about how ungrateful he was being, and all Heeseung could do was stand still as if plastered to the floor, in utter disbelief of his own, untrue, words.
After his cruel statement echoes through his head for the fourth time, he finally snaps out of the self pity and rushes after you to the kitchen where you’re leaned over the counter, head buried in your hands as you cry.
“Baby, I’m sorry,” he apologizes quickly. He walks up from behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, resting his forehead on your shoulder blade. “I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry for everything I said, sweetheart.”
He turns you around gently and feels his chest tighten at how fucking sad you look. He never wants to see you like this. He never wants to be the cause of this ever again.
And when he looks to the side, his throat closes and dries completely at the sight of your engagement ring laying on the counter right behind you. 
“Are you sure you didn’t mean it?” You ask, wiping the tears away with your hand pointlessly as another stream follows right after. “Things like that don’t come out of nowhere.”
“I didn’t, love, I swear I didn’t. I’m so fucking sorry,” he breathes out, pulling you closer to him by your neck again. 
Never again. Never fucking again. He keeps telling himself in his head as he lifts your hand to his lips and presses a kiss to your knuckles, just where your ring was supposed to be sitting snugly. Then he lowers it and places your palm against his chest, right above his heart, and covers your smaller hand with his.
That was too close to losing you, and himself, for that matter. Because he would never recover if you were gone from his life and all because of him. 
“Then why did you even say it?” You sob pitifully as you feel the warm tears dripping down the tip of your nose.
“I don’t know,” he shushes you gently, trying his best to not break you any further. 
You pull away once you feel calm enough, hands clutching his t-shirt. “It's not too late to call off the wedding, Seung,” you manage out breathily, raising your palm to cup his cheek. “I'd rather not take the step further than have you unhappy.”
“Darling, no.” Heeseung bends down to minimize the distance between the two of you and peppers your face with loving, warm kisses. He just wants to erase those atrocious thoughts out of your mind as quickly as possible. “Please, there's nothing I'd ever want more than to make you my wife. That was stupid of me to say. I'll never be happy if I'm not with you, my love.”
“I just don’t want to force this marriage on you. You need to want it as much as I do, otherwise it’s pointless.”
Heeseung almost chokes on air when he rushes out his answer even before you can properly finish your sentence. “I do want it. Please, you have to believe me.” 
“Really?”
Heeseung smiles at you softly as he wipes your wet cheeks with his thumbs. “Really. Scout’s honour.”
You breathe out, feeling relief, and look up at him with squinted, puffy eyes. “Sometimes I just wanna strangle you to death, Lee Heeseung.”
He chuckles lightly before pressing one last kiss to your cheek. “Aren't you just so adorable? You should add this to your wedding vows.”
“Maybe I’ll add this to your eulogy instead if you pull shit like that again.”
Heeseung clicks his tongue with a grin pulling on his lips. “Touché.”
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PARK JAY
The atmosphere in the living room is so heavy that your chest starts to hurt. You’re standing barely two steps away from the man you love the most, yet you’ve never felt more far away from him than in this moment. 
His eyes – cold but still undoubtedly full of love, drill holes in the side of your head as you turn your face away from him to try and gather your thoughts.
Arguments with Jay were rare. You always tried to work things out immediately, keeping your heads cool. But something has broken over the last month and you can’t see each other eye to eye anymore. At the very beginning of your relationship you made a promise to never go to bed angry. To never leave things unresolved. Yet now Jay’s been sleeping on the couch for the past week, and you fail to understand what the fuck has happened to the two of you. 
And you can’t help but think that, maybe, sometimes love is just not enough. 
“You’re not even trying to find the middle ground anymore. All you do is snap at me the second I come home. I’m fucking tired of it! Would it hurt to give it a rest for a day?” 
The tension is almost palpable. You hate how you can’t seem to back away from any argument but only keep hurting him instead. 
“Put effort into our relationship first, then we’ll talk,” you spit out instead, against your better judgment.
“It’s funny coming from you who’s done nothing but put a fucking distance between us!”
“This doesn’t make any sense anymore, Jay. We need some time apart,” you finally speak into the dull silence, eyes casted downwards at the floor as your hand keeps twitching, only to finally grab for your ring finger and slip the silver band off of it. You didn’t think much of your action, hell, you didn’t even process it properly. 
Well, not until you hear the shaky exhale leave Jay’s lips. 
Silently, he presses his lips together and nods his head before turning on his heel and leaving the room. You listen intently to the shuffling, then ringing of the keys and eventually the door being shut. 
A moment of silence turns into minutes of you staring at the ring on your palm with tears burning your eyes mercilessly. 
With your heart falling low to your stomach, you drop down on the couch and tug on your hair slightly, cursing yourself for acting so mindlessly. 
You wallow in self pity in the dead quiet room. The shiny ring feels so heavy and burning in your clenched fist. You take in a deep breath, then quickly slide the band back onto your finger, feeling instantly shielded with it being on its righteous place again.
And just like that, you spend the next three hours on the verge of losing your sanity. With no word from Jay. He’s left your messages unread. He’s left your calls unanswered. 
You don’t know whether he’s okay or hurt or simply gone. All that combined is enough to leave you panicked and terrified, unable to have a second of peace. 
You never meant to take it this far. This – your words and rapid actions, that will forever remain as one of your biggest regrets. You don’t like the idea that you made your other half feel like you’ve taken him for granted. Or for what’s worse, like a person that you can use for unloading your frustration. 
There’s this throbbing pain in your chest as you realize that maybe he’s not coming back because why would he if you can’t even love him properly?
Your fingers are bleeding from how hard you’ve been picking on your cuticles. 
And then you hear the jingle of keys and soon the front door opens quietly. You know that even after all of this he’s still being careful to not wake you up. It’s killing you how he thinks you’d ever be able to get a wink of sleep without knowing he’s safe. 
You’re quick to drop your phone on the couch and shoot up on your legs, rushing over to the door and throwing yourself on Jay’s neck. 
“I was so worried about you!” You gasp out, clinging onto your fiancé desperately as tears unknowingly make their way down your cheeks. “Please, don’t ever do that again!”
“Sorry, my phone died,” he replies after a second or two, bringing his arm up to wrap around your waist and keep you close to him. 
He’s still upset but he understands where you’re coming from, knowing well that if it was you instead of him he’d probably go insane from worry. 
He can feel your heart hammering against his chest, so he lifts his hand and strokes your hair to help you calm down. But then you start crying, feeling his gentle touch even after everything you said, that was enough to push you over the edge. You clench your trembling hands on his sweater as you burst out with choked sobs, slouching against his warm and comforting body. 
“I’m sorry, ‘m sorry, ‘m sorry,” you weep into his chest like a mantra and Jay can quite literally feel his heart cracking at your miserable state. 
“It’s okay,” he whispers, hot air hitting your ear before he presses a soft kiss to its tip. “Don’t cry anymore, honey. We’re okay.”
“I don’t deserve that. I don’t deserve you,” you whimper quietly. “Please, don’t leave me.”
“Don’t say that,” he scolds you with a frown. Your whimpers twist his guts even more than your harsh words from before. “It’s not the first nor the last time we’ll have an argument. It’s not worth losing your pretty head over it, okay?” 
“I’m sorry,” you repeat one last time. “I promise I'll never take it off again. I’ll never lash out on you like that ever again too.”
Jay grabs your hand and runs his thumb over the thin silver band, the same one he was picking so carefully for weeks, and a small smile tugs on the corners of his mouth. He hates how shameful you sound. 
He’ll never tell you how the sight of you pulling your ring off your finger made him physically sick to his stomach. He can't have you feeling even worse than you already do. So instead he brings you close to him and rests his forehead on yours. 
“I’m so stupid,” you whisper quietly as you close your eyes, your heavy eyelashes letting go of another few drops of crystal tears which Jay’s lips soak up instantly. “I don’t know what I’d do if you actually left.”
“You know me better than to think I’d let us break it off over such a petty fight.” And, yes, you do. But your lip wobbles with silent agony at the sole thought of that. “Hey,” he tries again as he presses a loving kiss to your red nose. “I’m not leaving, okay? How could I ever?” 
“I love you.”
With his thumb caressing your burning cheek so tenderly, you feel at peace again.
“I love you too,” he replies without skipping a beat. “No one can handle you as well as I do. And no one sees me for me like you do. We complete each other. We belong together.”
He kisses you silly then, until there’s no more tears left in your body and you’re barely able to breathe anymore. He kisses you until your legs give in and he swoops you up to carry you into your shared bed for the first time in what seems like forever.
He kisses you until it engraves in your mind that there’s no other person for him in this world but you.
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SIM JAKE
“Baby, I already apologized.” A groan lingers at the back of his throat but for his own sake he stifles it inside. “I don’t know what else you want me to do.”
You sit on the verge of your shared bed and clench your fingers on the silky duvet. “How about you start showing up to things we both agreed on attending?”
He runs his hand down his face. “I know. It just slipped my mind, that’s all. You know how busy I’ve been this week.”
“This shouldn’t be my business only, though. I mean, for christ’s sake, it’s our wedding! I would really appreciate it if you participated in something for once!”
Flowers and cake. That’s literally all you’ve asked of him to go and pick with you for the wedding reception. Knowing his tight schedule, you picked the date carefully so that it wouldn’t meddle with his work and you could even go grab some dinner afterwards. But your plans all went out the window when he didn’t even bother showing up or giving you a heads up text, standing you up yet another time when it comes to your wedding preparations.
You’re honestly getting tired of it.
“I’ll be there next time,” he assures you quickly as he nervously taps his fingers on the doorway of your bedroom. 
“You said you wouldn’t do that,” your voice wavers as your shoulders drop with resignation. With the back of your hand, you wipe off the tears that made their way down your cheeks. “You promised to help, Jake. But you left me alone with everything, as usual.”
“It’s not even that big of a deal. This can be rescheduled any time. Baby, stop stressin’ so much.”
“But it is a big deal to me!” You cry out, palm reaching up to pinch the bridge of your nose. You breathe out heavily. “I don’t want to do everything by myself! We’re supposed to be in this together! If getting married means that I’m gonna be alone with all the responsibilities that you don’t consider important enough, I’m not even sure if I still want it.”
To back up your words, your hand moves half-consciously to your ring finger and you twist the cool piece of jewelry in between your fingers. 
“No, no, no, no.” Jake moves quickly, nearly tripping over himself as he rushes towards you to desperately clasp your hand in his two and stop you from whatever the hell you were about to do. He drops to his knees in front of the bed, right at your feet. “Baby, you promised you’d never take it off.”
You’re at a loss of words as you look into his wide eyes, the seriousness of your actions only catching up to you now. You gasp quietly, eyes watering just like his, quickly relaxing your tensed hand in his and letting him slide the ring back down your finger, just where it belongs.
Silence envelopes the two of you, besides the sound of your sniffles. 
You feel awful. 
Jake feels even worse. 
Leaning forward, you press your face to his shoulder and melt instantly when he brings a hand to caress your hair. 
“I'm sorry,” you whisper, clenching your hand to feel the cool ring against your skin. “I don't know why I did that. I didn't mean to.”
“I know,” he soothes you just as softly. He stands up from the floor and carefully maneuvers the two of you so that you’re placed on his lap as he sits with his back against the headboard. “It's my fault. I'm sorry. I never meant to disregard your feelings like that.”
At the end of the day, both of you would rather set themselves ablaze than watch the other one hurting. 
You nod silently, heart pounding in your chest before you bring your arms up and throw them over his neck.
“I’m sorry I was so impulsive.”
“No. You did nothing wrong.” His soothing voice carries over the room, enveloping you with warmth. “I promise I'll be here whenever you want me to from now on. I don’t want you to feel neglected by me, especially now when you’re this stressed over the wedding. I won’t let you down, again.” 
“I just need a little help, that’s all,” you mumble tiredly into his skin.
“I know.” His warm lips press to your forehead lovingly. “I’m sorry for being an insensitive douche. It won’t happen again. I’ll take some days off next week, hm?”
The tears on your face dry slowly as your hold on him tightens. “I’d like that a lot.”
“Then it’s done. I'll be all yours and you’ll be all mine then,” he hums and noses at your cheek, finally bringing out a small giggle out of you. After all these years, he still melts at the sound. “I won’t let things get this out of hand again, YN. I promise.”
“Okay,” you whisper. Tilting your head up and bringing his down towards you, you join your lips in a kiss that you’ve been longing for for days. His movements are slow and careful as he tries to soak up as much of the moment as possible. 
His kisses slowly put your broken pieces back together. He never knew how much seeing you cry like this would hurt him. And he’ll make damn sure he won’t ever have to experience again that for as long as you're with him.
“If I have a life to spend, it'll only be with you, sweetheart,” he lowers his voice to match yours, cradling your cheek in the palm of his hand. “You're it for me. I'll never give you a chance to doubt that ever again.”
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PARK SUNGHOON
“You’re never home! There’s always a hundred things more important to you than spending an hour of your time with me. Your fucking fiance! Are we really about to get married when you’re clearly so tired of me already?”
Your heart pounds in your chest as you finally voice out everything that’s been sitting on your chest for the past month. Things have not been working out well with the two of you, much to your despair. He’s been neglectful, always too busy to help you with anything – even the wedding related things that you should’ve gotten done weeks ago. 
And you know that he’s swamped with work and it's not his fault. You understand everything. But to ask him to spare you an hour or two of his day shouldn’t be too much. It shouldn’t make him snap at you unlike what he just did the second he came back home. You slowly begin to lose your hope.
“God, have you always been this needy? Why can’t you accept that I can’t always put you first? No matter how much I’d want to, sometimes I just can’t! Deal with this!”
“Fucking- Fine.”
Your hand moves quicker than your brain, and the next thing you know, your shiny ring is being pulled off your finger and resting in the palm of your other hand. 
You can see the disbelief flashing through his face briefly before it completely morphs into a scowl. 
“You really think that this will solve the problem?” He asks, eyebrows narrowed as he glowers at you from across the room. “Really? Does that ring mean so little to you that you go and throw it away with any minor inconvenience?” 
You try to blink away the frustrated tears, hand raking up to brush your hair away from your face. “No, fuck, I just- I don’t know what to do anymore, Sunghoon. I feel like I’m the only one in this relationship. I need you to give me something more because whatever you’re doing now is not enough for me.”
“Well, I’m putting out everything I have, YN! I love you! If that’s still not good enough for you, then maybe it’s not meant to be.”
The silence that falls in the room doesn’t last long as your sudden sob pierces Sunghoon’s ears quickly, making his stomach drop to the soles of his feet. His heart wrenches and twists as the anger simmers down and evaporates from his body within a second, and he’s quickly coming back to his senses at the sight of you breaking down right in front of him. 
“Can’t you just try?” You cry into your hands, shielding your face away from your fiance. “That’s all I’m asking of you. Is it really so hard to try?”
No, it’s not. Sunghoon knows it without a second of thinking. It’s not too hard to try, never if it’s for you. And his throat dries so quickly when he basks in the weight of his words that finally made you break as well. 
“You don’t know how much it hurts to feel like you’re too much for your partner,” you wail with a small voice, shoulders trembling and hands quickly getting damp with tears. “You’ll never know how it is to feel unwanted, because you’ll never have to when you're with me. Because I love you, asshole, but now I’m doubting if you’re saying it back just for the sake of it.”
With air getting stuck in his throat, Sunghoon looks at you wide-eyed before quickly crossing the living room and enveloping you in his arms. His warmth wraps around you in what you've always considered to be safety, but now it just makes you cry more. 
He finds it hard to breathe. The hesitation in your eyes feels like a stab to his chest.
“Of course I still love you,” he says, voice muffled by your hair. 
He hates how he made you feel the opposite. He hates how you’re right and he never had to worry about any reassurement of such kind from your side because you’re just that good to him. And his heart breaks with the realization of how much of a lousy partner he’s been to you when all you ever were was nothing less than perfect.
So he places his hand on the back of your head and presses you even closer to his shoulder as you cry, his own eyes burning with tears at the sound of your sobs and sniffles. 
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, my darling,” he apologizes with a heavy heart, fearful of what’s about to come next. “I didn’t mean to neglect you this much. I could say that I’m tired and the work has been a lot lately, but I know these excuses are not enough to make up for my actions.”
You’re mad and hurt, but you love him and would never want to give up on him, so you wrap your arms around his middle and hold him almost as tight as he holds you, burying your wet face in his chest. 
“I love you more than anything, YN.” He pulls away from you only to cup your face and make you look at him. His long fingers wipe away the tears with gentle touch, soothing your stinging skin instantly. “You could never be too much for me. I want all of you. I promise I’ll do better. I’ll love you better.”
And when you’re looking up at him with these shiny eyes of yours, he closes the distance and presses a loving kiss to your swollen lips, hoping to take at least some of the pain away. He doesn’t think he can hold you any tighter. He can’t love you any stronger than right now, and it messes with his head how easily he could’ve had it all ruined only minutes ago. 
He’ll never take your love for granted ever again. Because if he did, he’d never be able to pick up the parts of whatever was left of him, and put himself back together ever again. 
You can feel his warm hand opening your closed palm before he takes the ring you've been clutching so tightly and holds it in between his fingers. 
“Can I put it back on, baby? Please.”
You nod wordlessly while you try to tame your tears. You hold your slightly trembling hand up to him. He takes it, gently, and watches as your bottom lip wobbles while he slides the ring on your finger just like he did months ago. 
“I'll never screw up like that again. You have my word for it.”
You sniffle quietly when he kisses you right on the cool band adorning your skin. “You better not, Park Sunghoon.”
His long fingers caress your cheek, wiping the remains of the tears away. “Can you forgive me, darling?”
You don't need to think long of an answer. “You know I can never stay mad at you. Even if you're a idiot, I'll never stop loving you. You have my whole heart, Hoon. Please, don't ever make me regret trusting you with it.”
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chaconnenha · 17 days
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⌇ WANNA BE A WINNER 𓄹
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❪ ꕤ ❫───엔하이픈 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗒 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗀𝖾𝗍
OR. he is used to you chasing after him . . . so what happens when the tables are turned ? && crush!en- x f!reader % hc format ( jealousy, pet names, mention of food, kissing )
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𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆 doesn't think twice when he sees you on the bleachers at his basketball game, because he's gotten so used to seeing you there, cheering him on whenever he scores and waving enthusiastically when he looks your way... only to find himself doing a double take when he notices you talking to the members of the opposition's team. stands there for a while with a tilted head as he wonders why it is you're giggling and twirling your hair, batting your eyelashes at whatever it was the guy was saying. and he really shouldn't have been so annoyed, seeing as you're free to talk to whoever you like... but for some reason, he finds himself purposely missing a shot and causing the ball to roll over to where you and your friends are sitting, just so he has an excuse to walk over there after your pick up the ball, before kissing you on the cheek as he takes ball back. "thanks, baby," he says, before walking away again.... but of course, not without one last cocky smirk to the other guy when he sees your flustered expression, and a promise to ask you out properly after he wins this game.
more under the cut !
𝐉𝐀𝐘, who has gotten used to seeing snacks on his desk along with little notes whenever he wakes up from his nap, feels like he's been thrown into an alternate universe when he looks up one day to find that his desk his completely empty. looks around, and asks his deskmate if you came by today, only for them to shake their head and say that they haven't seen you all day. doesn't think too much about it at first, thinking that you may be busy... only to notice that it continues a few days straight. decides to walk to your class one day, completely forgoing his usual nap, just to see if you're okay, because as much as he wouldn't admit it, anyone could tell he was worried about you. so imagine his surprise when he walks up behind you while you're talking to your friends, just to learn you've been doing it on purpose to make him miss you. crosses his arms and leans down to your ear with a smirk, causing your heart to fly out of your chest when you realise he was there all along. "okay, you win." because he really did miss you... maybe even more than you had planned.
𝐉𝐀𝐊𝐄 probably takes a while to figure out that you're avoiding him, but only because he genuinely believes you when you say you're busy when he asks why you can't make it to his soccer game. he knows that you have a life outside of school, so he can't feel upset... but everyone (his teammates, his friends, his coach, his neighbour, his dog...) notices that he is walking around the field like a depressed puppy whose owner doesn't want to play with him, and it's all because you're not in your usual seat, cheering him on while wearing his number like you usually do. and it makes him realise just how much you were becoming his lucky charm, just as you had boldly proclaimed you would be. and so that's how he finds himself waiting for you after you're finished your classes for the day, before wrapping his arms around you in a hug, not caring about the wolf whistles and the cheers coming from all the students and teachers who stood watching around you, or the way you stuttered his name in protest because of how he was acting in public... all he could think about was how he was a fool for not making you his to begin with.
𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍 can't remember when you haven't been next to him. from the first day of school, you were the one beside him, helping him in class whenever he had to catch up on work that he missed because of his figure skating career, saving him a seat on the bus because you knew he would always end up being five minutes late out of class. so when he comes back from a week off from school, he is visibly taken aback when you walk in and take a seat at the front of the classroom, next to some other guy who he didn't even know existed until now. doesn't buy it for a second when his new seatmate explains that you had to switch because you had trouble seeing, and burns holes into the back of your head for the entire lesson, intensifying his glare when you and your new seatmate are a tad too close for comfort, heads bumping against each other as you whisper about the answers to the questions, like you used to do with sunghoon. can't seem to catch you alone for the rest of the day, so he waits for the end of the day, when you guys catch the bus together, and makes sure that he gets there before you do... so that when you try and sit next to someone else, he pulls you down in the seat he saved next to him, before leaning his head on your shoulder, his hand wrapped around your smaller one. "stay here, please..." because you’re the only one he wants beside him, and he wants to be the only one next to you.
𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐎𝐎 knows immediately that something isn't right when you don't ask for his help with your club projects. being in the photography club, you love to remind him how he is your favourite model, and you make it painfully obvious whenever you beg him to let you take his pictures. imagine his surprise and offense when you no longer seek him out first, but some other guy in a different class, who you keep positing pictures of on the school newsletter, where you used to post his pictures instead. he instantly makes a plan to win you back and become your favourite once again, even going as far as to rock up to school the next day with blonde hair that makes everyone stop and stare... except you, the person who is usually the first to jump on the train of people to praise him. he realises at that moment that this goes beyond just his pride; he genuinely just wants to be able to make you smile like before. so imagine your surprise when you open the newsletter for the next week, to find a candid photo of you looking at your camera, hair blowing in the wind and a smile on your face, with the caption "prettiest girl in our grade" followed by, "taken by kim sunoo".
𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐎𝐍 does not beat around the bush. so the first time you walk by him in the hallway without so much as uttering a "hi," he immediately knows he needs to confront you about it, because not a single day has passed in the time that you've known each other where you haven't jumped on him (figuratively, of course) whenever the chance arises so you can chat his ear off about something or other. and he doesn't like the feeling he gets seeing you give him the cold shoulder for reasons he has no idea about. so the next time you pass him by without saying anything, he's grabbing your wrist and tugging you down the hallway, ignoring the squeals from your friends as he pulls you into the janitor's closet. "why are you avoiding me?" he demands, frowning. but then the two of you are rendered blushing incoherent messes when you try to escape the room... only to trip on your own two feet and fall into his arms, your lips bumping against each other in the process. (but even though it's an accident, jungwon thinks that he really likes this feeling alot.)
𝐍𝐈-𝐊𝐈 is an absolute menace, and you are probably one of the only people in the world other than his mother that can put up with him. it really surprises people to see you follow him around, cooking him bentos and fixing his tie for him because he always fails at doing it himself, only to find out that you're not his girlfriend. ni-ki himself probably doesn't even realise how much you've been taking care of him until you stop showing your face around his classroom at lunch, and no longer nag him about his uniform or his hair being messy. instead, he's left to watch as you turn around whenever you see him, purposely changing paths so you don't bump into each other. no one is surprised when he jumps over a fence just so he can catch up to you after you try to run away after making eye contact with him for the hundredth time. you end up blurting your feelings for him before he can ask, and while you brace yourself for rejection, he's already kissing you like he hasn't seen you for months... and wondering why he never did it sooner.
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© CHACONNENHA / dividers by v6que
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ja3yun · 2 months
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Push My Buttons | L.HS
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bodyguard!heeseung x rich girl!reader warnings: enemies to ???, angst, smut (mdni), car sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, choking, mentions of spit, possessive!hee, some violence, not proofread, anything else lmk! wc: 7.5k synopsis: lee heeseung has been hired as your personal security by your father. you and him don't see eye to eye, so when tensions rise at your best friends party, you both know how to push each others buttons. a/n: hi! this is a thank you for 1k! i still don't believe it if i'm honest because i don't think i deserve it but regardless, thank you all so much if you follow me! this is a little idea i had sitting on my laptop that i've decided to complete for this occasion so enjoy!
_____
Browsing through the racks of the Prada store, you can't help but feel acutely aware of the imposing presence of your hired security, stationed just two feet away.
"Do you have to stick to me like glue all the time?" you mutter, not bothering to meet his gaze.
“It’s my job, Y/N. You’d know what that was if you weren’t such a spoiled brat,” he spits back, his eyes rolling in exasperation.
Lee Heeseung was appointed by your father to ensure your safety during his frequent business trips. Unfortunately, your father's demanding role as CFO of a tech company keeps him away for extended periods. He doesn't trust you to fend for yourself, fearing that others might exploit you to reach him. Given your father's controversial reputation stemming from questionable business dealings, Heeseung's imposing presence is a constant fixture in your life.
Your bodyguard would be more tolerable if he weren't so insistent on being by your side every second. It's tiresome, really, how he clings to you like a shadow, never granting you a moment of solitude. If you go to the bathroom, he is right outside the door and if you dare try and sneak out the window - which you have tried numerous times - he is chasing you down the street, sweeping you off your feet and taking you home.
You had hoped that being only a couple of years older, he might adopt a more relaxed approach, letting you live your life a little, but you were wrong. Since the first day he turned up, he’s been nothing but a hoover, sucking the fun and freedom from your life all to keep you safe.
Sure, he probably knows deep down that he's a tad overbearing, but hey, he's clinging to this gig like a lifeline. Compared to his last job of being a bouncer at some dingy club, knocking back people with fake IDs and kicking out drunk people, your dad's cushy paycheck is like hitting the jackpot.
To Heeseung, you’re just some rich kid who has more money than sense, squandering it on everything and anything you deem a necessity at the time, only to then throw them away or forget about them. Considering he struggled to pay his rent before this job, he hates your whimsy ways with money. 
It's like you live in your own little bubble, completely disconnected from the real world. There are people out there starving and you’re buying thousands of pounds worth of clothes that you could easily get from a bargain bin for a fiver. 
Finally, you spare him a glance, “Just stand over there, okay? You really don’t have to be here and mess up my whole vibe,” you flail your arms around hoping the gestures will add some exclamation to your statement.
With a resigned sigh, he acquiesces, nodding, "In my line of sight at all times, got it?" He scans the area once more, on high alert for anything out of place, before reluctantly giving you some breathing room.
Heeseung blends in, looking through the obscenely expensive trousers which he is convinced he has seen the exact same jeans in thrift stores, just without the brand label. It’s a reminder of the contrast between you both; your lavish ways are still an alien concept to him.
He’s been in this role for 3 months and he won’t get over it, how different you both are. Your beliefs and traits are so starkly dissimilar that not once have you ever seen eye to eye. He doesn’t hate you, but he’s close to it. You always treat him with little to no respect and considering he’s only looking out for you per your daddy’s request, he would like to think you would be a little more grateful. 
Suddenly, his thoughts are interrupted by a lone figure approaching you, a slick smile playing on his lips. Heeseung’s jaw tightens as he analyses the scene in front of him, trying to speculate what the guy wanted, although Heeseung already knows his intentions.
You’re too busy trying to decide whether beige or cream looks better on you as you hold out two vest tops to notice the incoming man.
“I think you should go with that one,” the sudden boom of a voice beside you makes you jump and turn to him, clutching the clothes to your chest as you try to still your thumping heart, “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you, beautiful.”
Normally, you pay no mind to greasy men like him, but his cinched suit which was clearly tailor-made to fit and his sleek dyed brown hair was enough for you to give him a second glance. You can always spare some time for people who look good.
“Which one?” you ask, holding them back up at arm's length.
“The left one, I think you would look sexy in any of them, to be honest,” he smirks, thinking he’s being so smooth but you’re not really impressed by flattery. You know you look good, you see yourself in the mirror every day. Plus, he’s only trying to oil you up so he can either as you out or try and fuck you. The only one who genuinely gives you truthful advice or says you look good and mean it with no intention is Heeseung.
Your bodyguard is watching like a hawk, face steaming with anger as the guy puts his hand on your waist, holding one of the vest tops to your chest area. He’s already given the guy enough leeway by even letting him speak to you, but now he’s touching you, and Heeseung will be damned if he lets him get away with that.
With measured steps, Heeseung comes up behind you, licking his lips as hugs you from behind, “Baby girl, are you almost done?” he whispers loudly enough that the unwanted man in front of you can hear, “Who is this?” he asks, eyes now pointed forward.
The stranger's confidence falters under Heeseung's intense scrutiny, his eyes widening slightly as he realises the gravity of the situation. Heeseung's demeanour is unmistakably protective, his stance leaving no room for doubt about his intentions. His eyes are so dark that the boy knows that one wrong move will have Heeseung pouncing on him.
“I’m Woobin,” he says almost inaudibly. It’s amazing how quickly he resigned from his cocky attitude as soon as Heeseung made his presence known.
"Do you work here, Woobin?" Heeseung's voice is a low rumble against your ear, his lips trailing a path of kisses down your neck to your shoulder. His touch is electrifying, sending shivers down your spine as his hands caress your stomach, his thumbs tracing delicate patterns against the skin beneath your shirt
The butterflies in your tummy are fluttering around as if they’ve been disrupted from their nest by his touch. This is new, he hasn’t done this before, usually opting to just stand between you and potential danger. It's exhilarating and maddening all at once, the line between protection and possessiveness blurring in the heat of the moment.
Heeseung knows that if he simply said he was your security, it wouldn’t deter the man, he had to think on his feet. That and the way he touched you evoked something inside him, protectiveness laced with something else. 
“I don’t work here, I-”
“Then get your hands the fuck off my girl,” Heeseung interrupts Woobin, maintaining eye contact with him as he bites down a little on the nape of your neck, almost like he’s physically marking you as his own in front of a potential suitor.
Your head is in a frenzy, knowing that Heeseung is stepping far beyond his role of protection, yet, you don’t stop him. It would be lying to say that his lips didn’t feel good on your skin, the way his fingers lightly gripped the softness of your stomach gave you fanny flutters like nothing else; as he boldly stakes his claim, you can't help but feel a surge of desire mingling with frustration
But this is also the man that is currently cockblocking you right now, stopping you from getting Woobin’s number and potentially a good fuck that you’re clearly in desperate need of; why else would you be getting turned on by Heeseung right now? This is the man you cannot stand, he is the last person on earth you want to be with. 
Woobin awkwardly laughs and backs away, giving a slight wave to you as he walks out of the store, leaving you both in the thick silence.
As his form disappears into the distance, Heeseung stands by your side, his stare unflinching as he watches the threat go by, proud of himself for handling the situation quickly. Heeseung hasn’t let you go, his hands moving from your tummy to your waist, gripping it softly.
You don’t know what to do, still standing in a haze of shock and confusion, your eyes watching the back of Woobin with intensity. The man behind you didn’t even have to say much before Woobin was running with his tail between his legs.
Honestly, you know Heeseung can be intimidating, but this must have been a new level, even for him. You couldn’t see his eyes, yet, you know they held only room for intimidation.
Heeseung's attitude relaxes somewhat, but his protective stance remains firm. He slowly releases you from his grip, placing one last kiss on your neck for what reason he doesn’t know. 
You take a moment to compose yourself, internally dealing with the mixed feelings of the encounter before pure rage flushes over you, “What the fuck was that?” you seeth, twisting your body to face him.
“What was what?” he asks, unfazed by your angry demeanour. 
Slamming the vests back on the rack, you face him, your shorter stature suddenly being a hindrance as you try to act tough, “You know what! You just cockblocked me for no reason,” you ball your fists to the side of your hips, trying not to cause too much of a scene in the store. 
“Good. God knows what he had, he was a creep,” Heeseung’s face is stoic, not giving much of his emotions away which only serves to piss you off more. 
You wanted him to look a little bit sorry for overstepping, to say he was at least sympathetic towards your frustration. Instead, he just stands there, insulting the boy he didn’t even know.
Letting out a groan, you shut your eyes and unclench your hands, “I can’t ever have any fun with you around,” you try to calmly explain but as the words leave your lips, you begin to question why you’re trying to be civil in the first place. 
This man is the bain of your existence, the reason you haven’t had sex in months, he is utterly infuriating and here he stands in front of you with no remorse for ruining your life.
Heeseung nods, feigning understanding as he leans down to make eye contact with you, his nose almost touching yours, “I don’t know, baby girl, it seems like you were having a blast a second ago,” he says smugly, a half smirk creeping onto his face.
You beam red, embarrassment and anger mixing to create a shade of crimson you didn’t know you could make. He was frustrating, arrogant, irrational, rude, cocky, and overall just irritating. You hate Lee Heeseung.
Winking at you, he nudges his nose with yours before standing back up, his figure back to towering over you, “Pick the one on the right and let’s get a move on,” he says, tucking his hands into his pockets and taking one giant step back. 
It was like he was mocking you, giving you your space after infiltrating it as if he wasn’t leaving wet kisses on your neck five minutes ago. 
With a huff, you face the two vests once again, looking between both options, each one having its own backer. You bite your lip and contemplate over them, choosing the one on the right.
_____
As you apply your final coat of mascara, you take one long look in the mirror. You look great, everything about you falls into place perfectly, your hair and makeup only adding to your beauty while the dress you’re wearing hugs you nicely.
Obviously, you don’t tell Heeseung that you had a party tonight, knowing that he would lock you up like some Disney princess in your castle. If there was one thing Heeseung hated more than men coming into your zone, it was parties where tons of men could. 
The last party you went to was just before Heeseung arrived on the scene, the bodyguard now never letting you experience any joy or social gatherings that weren’t accompanied by him or a simple meet-up with friends. ‘There’s too much risk at a party’ he will always tell you.
A knock on your bedroom door almost makes you drop the mascara wand but you catch it before it causes disaster. 
“I’m coming in,” Heeseung’s voice travels through the door before he swings it open. His eyes trail over your body as he assesses the outfit, “A bit dressed up for a night in with me, no?” he tries to pass it off as a lighthearted joke but he knows he’s about to argue with you about your plans.
“Oh, y’know, just thought I would try and make an effort to sit in and watch Louder Milk for the nth time,” you roll your eyes, twisting the mascara shut and turning to face him.
Heeseung grumbles, “Let’s cut to the chase where you tell me where you plan on going and I obviously stop you,” he crosses his arms and tilts his head expectantly.
But you can’t let him win, not this time around. It’s your best friend’s birthday night out and if you miss it, you’ll never be invited to anything again; you can’t miss a 21st birthday party and expect there not to be consequences, especially not in your circle of friends.
You finish getting ready with a sense of purpose, carefully placing your lip oil and hairbrush into your YSL bag. "I've got plans," you announce, nonchalantly shrugging your shoulders.
His brows furrow slightly. "You never mentioned we had plans tonight," he remarks, a hint of curiosity in his voice.
"We don't have plans, Heeseung. I do. And you weren’t invited," you retort, your tone tinged with sarcasm as you shoot him a playful smirk.
He raises an eyebrow, trying to decipher your intentions. "A party? A date?" he ventures, scanning your attire and deducing that this isn't just a casual outing.
As you attempt to breeze past him, he swiftly moves to block the doorway with his arm, his muscles tensing as he grips the doorframe. You lock eyes with him, noticing the frustration brewing beneath the surface.
His jaw tightens as you stand your ground, a silent challenge passing between you, "Tell me where you're off to," he demands, his voice taking on a more authoritative tone.
You really need to get fucked because he’s suddenly turning you on, and his body starting to look like a jungle gym. Regardless of the fury and hatred for the boy in front of you, when he got angry, he was a new level of hot; it’s probably the reason you subconsciously push his buttons.
“I am going to Ryujin’s birthday party,” you confess, taking hold of his arm and trying to pry it from the wall, but he’s too strong and it doesn’t work. Even with all your efforts, it doesn’t budge.
Smiling at your feeble attempts to move him, Heeseung cockily leans on one foot, the other tucking behind his leg as he watches you struggle.
Undeterred, you try to slip under his arm, but he effortlessly scoops you up and returns you to your room, closing the door behind you with a practised ease. His years dealing with drunks at his previous job have endowed him with certain skills in handling runaways..
"Don't make this difficult, Y/N," he warns.
"You're the one being difficult! It's my best friend's birthday. Are you seriously telling me I can't go? I'm not in danger, you know," you retort angrily, frustration evident in your voice.
Heeseung understands that you're completely oblivious to the dangers lurking around your family, shielded by your innocent perspective. No one has bothered to inform you about your father's involvement in money laundering and his dealings with shady men. In your eyes, having a bodyguard feels like an unnecessary intrusion into your life rather than a protective measure.
"Listen, let's just imagine I let you go. Where is it?" he asks, a tinge of apprehension in his voice.
"Serenity," you reply, already sensing the tension building.
Heeseung's eyes widen in disbelief, "Serenity? The bar down by the loch? Are you serious?" he exclaims, his concern evident.
It was a losing battle the moment you opened your mouth. The bar isn’t known for its good reputation, it’s sleazy and grim, and despite its calm name, no one who occupies the bar could be considered peaceful.
Ryujin picked it simply because she likes to cosplay as a poor person sometimes, wondering what it would be like to live on the other side of wealth while obnoxiously spending a shit ton of money, completely rendering her ideas pointless.
You don’t agree with it but she is your best friend, the only person that gave you the time of day when you didn’t have a penny to your name all those years ago.
"I am not letting you step foot in that place," Heeseung asserts firmly, drawing a line in the sand.
“She hired out the whole bar, it’s not like anyone can just walk in,” you try to reason back but it doesn’t work as Heeseung’s resolve remains the same.
“You aren’t going, end of discussion. The whole neighbourhood is trouble and your friend is fucking stupid for this,” he scratches his jaw as the worst-case scenarios pop into his head. He might not like you but he really can’t stand some of the thoughts popping into his head, the urge to protect you growing stronger by the second.
The loch is a small part of town, mostly made up of deadbeats and criminals. Word spreads fast around there and there is a high chance the scums of the area know a bunch of snooty rich kids are going to be there for the picking.
You need to go, you can’t cancel any more plans so you need to think of something quick, “You can come with me,” you suggest, stepping closer to him. Would it be overbearing and annoying to have him there? Yes but at least you would be there. And it might actually be good if he was, after all, he is good at his job; you feel safe around him and the more he’s warning you away from Serenity and the loch, the more you’re starting to want his protection.
“I thought I wasn’t invited?” He raises his eyebrows sceptically.
Placing your hands on his chest, you trail them up to his shoulders, a pout forming on your lips. "Well, I'm inviting you now. Please, Heeseungie?" you implore, employing your best puppy-dog eyes and fluttering lashes in an attempt to sway him.
Typically, your pleading face doesn't work on him, but the combination of your hands massaging his tense shoulders and the endearing nickname starts to chip away at him.
"Fine. We can go for an hour or so, and then I'm taking you straight back home, understand?" he relents, already second-guessing his decision.
You squeal with joy, wrapping your arms around his neck and jumping up and down. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Finally, you've managed to reason with him.
Pushing you away gently, he clears his throat. "Be at the car in 10 minutes before I change my mind."
This is going to end disastrously.
_____
"Remember—"
"In your line of sight at all times," you finish, a hint of exasperation in your voice as you recite Heeseung's usual mantra.
Heeseung unbuckles his seatbelt with a grunt, his irritation clear as he mutters curses under his breath. He can't believe he's ended up in this mess, much less mocked by you. He is well aware that this is a recipe for disaster especially as he examines the area and notices gritty individuals prowling around the loch's borders, waiting for an opportunity to strike.
Heeseung is confident in his ability to handle himself; it's your safety that concerns him the most as he observes a suspicious figure crossing in front of your car.
You waste no time darting out of the car and hurrying to the club's entrance, leaving Heeseung trailing behind, a gust of wind in your wake.
"This fucking girl," he grumbles to himself as he parks the car and follows after you. He sees through your tactic—trying to get inside before him so he'll be left waiting outside while you venture off on your own. But he's not falling for it today.
He catches up to you just as you're about to give your name to the bouncer, his arm instinctively settling around your waist. The bouncer eyes Heeseung with a sceptical gaze, taking note of his attire and demeanour, which hardly scream 'rich kid bellend.'
As Heeseung squeezes your side, you shoot him a playful smirk over your shoulder. "Oh, this is my boyfriend. He's just trying to get into character for the place—dirty-chic and all that," you quip sarcastically, gesturing between him and the bouncer.
The bouncer chuckles at your comment, nodding in amusement. "You've done a good job. I almost mistook you for one of those creeps by the water," he jests, stepping aside to let you both in.
Heeseung doesn't react to your teasing or the bouncer's remarks. He's grown accustomed to such comments after spending the past few months with you and your friends. From being called shabby to poor, to filthy to crude, he's heard it all. Sometimes you apologise for your friend's words, but he knows the damage is already done.
It’s times like that that he has some faith in you, that you aren’t all diamonds and gold, that you do have a heart underneath it all.
Sticking close to you, you both end up at the bar ordering a gin and tonic for you and a water for himself. He knows everything about you by now, the constant watchful eye on you has got him to learn your favourite everything, so he finds himself ordering for you more times than not. That is, when you let him be actively seen with you.
"Can you vanish over there while I find Ryujin?" you ask, already scanning the room for the birthday girl.
Nodding, Heeseung points towards a nearby wall. "I'll be over there. If anything happens, remember to stay where I can see you. Don't run off; I will find you. And if you're going to the bathroom, come and get me," he advises, his tone firm as he leans down to emphasize the importance of his instructions.
"Yeah, sure," you reply casually, already making your way over to your friends at the other end of the bar, their excited screams and squeals guiding your path.
True to his word, Heeseung gives you space but remains vigilant, never taking his eyes off you. He's pleasantly surprised when three hours pass, and you're only on your second drink. Normally, he's had to carry you out of brunch with your university friends, and that's not even bottomless. Part of him thinks you’re remaining sober for your own vigilance, which makes him happy that you aren’t so reckless to get drunk in an unfamiliar setting around a lot of people you don’t know.
As the night progresses, Heeseung's gaze remains fixed on you from his position against the wall. He observes the way you interact with your friends, the genuine joy evident in your laughter and the twinkle in your eyes. Seeing you light up like this is a rarity, but it warms something inside him to witness you truly enjoying yourself.
Despite his reservations and occasional frustrations, Heeseung takes his role of keeping you safe very seriously. The thought of anything happening to you weighs heavily on his mind, not just because of the potential consequences from your father, but because he has come to genuinely care about your well-being. It's a realisation that surprises even him, how much he's come to feel responsible for you beyond just fulfilling his duties as a bodyguard.
Day by day, Heeseung finds himself spending more time in your presence. Even when he should be stationed at the front door, he often finds himself drawn to your side, whether it's watching TV shows together or cooking dinner. Sure, these moments are often punctuated by arguments over his choice of shows or the random spices he adds to your meals, but they keep things interesting, injecting a sense of spontaneity into his otherwise regimented routine.
And truth be told, he finds a strange satisfaction in winding you up, relishing the sight of the vein in your forehead protruding whenever you're exasperated with him. Despite the occasional clashes, there's an undeniable chemistry between the two of you, a dynamic that keeps him on his toes and reminds him that guarding you isn't just a job - it's become a massive part of his life.
Recently, he has become extra protective over you, the incident at the Prada store being a prime example. Men like Woobin are not the ones he should be protecting you from, but he can’t help it, you’re too precious to be led off by the likes of him.
Shaking his head, he disregards his last thought. You’re not precious, you’re a princess, a snooty diva with an attitude problem.
This is what he has to tell himself every day.
He watches you go up to the bar and sit on the stool as you order another drink, but his attention shifts to a familiar face in the crowd. Woobin - and he is walking straight for you. Like he hasn’t dealt with him enough today, it was almost as if thinking about him that manifested him straight into your lap.
As Woobin twists the stool you're sitting on to face him, Heeseung's grip on the empty cup tightens, his knuckles turning white with the effort to maintain his composure. He knows he can't just stride over there like he did at the store; he crossed a line then, kissing your neck was too far, and biting down on you to mark you was too far. But the possessive feeling that had simmered earlier resurfaces as he watches Woobin casually tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.
His mind races with a mantra, a desperate attempt to keep his emotions in check. The real threat to you is outside, not in here. The real threat to you is outside, not in here. The real threat to you is outside, not in here.
But as he watches Woobin's hand graze your leg, Heeseung's resolve crumbles.
"Fuck this," he mutters under his breath, his anger boiling over as he pushes himself off the wall and throws his cup away. Without a second thought, he makes a beeline for you, determined to put an end to this unwanted intrusion.
You suddenly feel Heeseung's chest press against your back, his presence feels overpowering, his aura dark and intense. You glance at Woobin and notice the fear flicker back into his eyes, just like before, as Heeseung speaks with a menacing tone, "Have you got a death wish or something, mate?" His question hangs in the air, a clear warning.
Woobin takes a step back, but despite the quiver in his pupils, he refuses to back down. "She obviously isn't satisfied with you," he retorts, attempting to sound tough. "She hasn't even tried to bat me off."
You scrunch your face in disbelief at Woobin's audacity. His attempt to turn the situation on you is off-putting, and any attraction you may have felt towards him suddenly dissipates.
Heeseung's gaze shifts down to you, his eyes hooded as he leans in close. "Is that true, baby girl? Do I not satisfy you?" His words send a shiver down your spine, leaving you momentarily speechless. Before you can form a response, he leans even closer, his breath hot against your cheek as he whispers in your ear, "You better agree with me, or else I'll punch his lights out, right here, right now."
His threat hangs in the air, leaving you feeling torn between conflicting emotions. As you struggle to find the right words, Heeseung's lips graze the skin of your earlobe, sending a jolt of sensation through you. You're unsure whether he's doing this to turn your mind to mush so you can do nothing but agree with him or assert his dominance over Woobin, who watches with a flushed neck, clearly intimidated by Heeseung's display of possessiveness.
Nodding slowly, you side-eye Heeseung, “Y-you do,” you say quietly but as he bites down on your ear and you yelp, you speak up a bit more confidently, “You do satisfy me.”
“Good girl,” he whispers, placing one final kiss on your ear, “You heard her, so get the fuck away from her, or I will throw your body in the loch and no one will even care to look for you,” he challenges Woobin, threatening him like some gangster.
As Woobin backs up and mutters ‘This is not fucking worth it’, Heeseung smiles triumphantly, knowing he’s scared him off for good. Heeseung fixes your hair, gathering it all to sit nicely at the back, running his fingers through it as he silently warns any other men in the club that you’re no one but his.
You hate to admit it, but it turns you on a little.
But your responsible head twists back on and you understand what Heeseung has done again, “Heeseung,” you slap his chest and push him away, “Stop fucking babying me!” Standing up from the stool, you weave through the people at the club in search of the exit, Heeseung’s antics finally pushing you too far. 
"I am doing my job, Y/N," he shouts over the chatter and music, his voice barely audible amidst the din of the club.
"No, you aren't. That is not your job," you retort, your voice rising above the noise. "Pretending to be my boyfriend and scaring away potential fucks is not part of the remit!"
Your words hang in the air, heavy with frustration and disappointment. You push him away one more time, creating some distance between you before storming out of the club.
Fuming with anger and adrenaline, you make your way through the car park, your mind racing with conflicting emotions. Part of you resents Heeseung for his overbearing behaviour, but another part can't deny the thrill you felt with his protective display. It's infuriating to admit, but the feeling of his possessiveness is sending shivers straight down south, You hate that you're even thinking like this.
His touch on your ear and neck lingers in your mind, igniting a whirlwind of desire and confusion. You're not thinking straight anymore, and if Heeseung catches up to you, you're not sure how you'll react - whether it'll be pure anger or pure lust.
Either way, you need to get this steam out. 
“Y/N! Get back here right now!” he shouts, pushing past the men who are ogling your figure. 
As you hear his voice, something takes over you. You pull the first guy you see into a kiss, holding onto this jacket as your mouth moves against his.
Heeseung sees red, blood red as he watches you kiss the stranger. It’s reckless behaviour, your lips moving roughly against a guy probably twice your age but, of course, the guy doesn’t mind. He wraps his arms around you to bring you in closer. That gesture shakes Heeseung from his shock coma, his emotions fueling him.
But Heeseung can't stand idly by any longer. With a guttural growl, he yanks the man away from you, his anger propelling him into action. He delivers a punishing punch to the man's face, the force of it sending him crashing to the ground, sprawled across the gravel of the car park.
Heeseung doesn't stop there. He delivers a few more swift kicks to the man's prone form before turning his attention to you. Grabbing your arm with bruised hands, he hauls you towards the car, his grip tight and unforgiving.
"You're so fucking irresponsible," he seethes, his voice dripping with venom as he struggles to contain the storm of emotions raging inside him. The veins in his neck bulge with the intensity of his anger, his eyes flashing with a dangerous fire.
“Sorry if I want to have some fun,” you argue back, trying your hardest to release yourself from his firm hold.
As you both approach your car, he opens the door and shoves you in, “And kissing and fucking random guys is fun?” he slams the door behind you once he knows all your limbs are inside the vehicle.
Striding over to the driver's seat, he gets in quickly, locking the doors so you can’t make a quick escape. You don’t even attempt to try and flee, already knowing you’re only going to end up in a game of cat and mouse all night, and in this weather with your dress isn’t fun. 
“I’m 20 years old, nearly 21, I can fuck if I want to,” you shout back, slamming your hand on the backrest to hammer home your point. You are old enough and wise enough to make your own decisions, Heeseung is only there to make sure you don’t end up getting kidnapped or whatever it is your dad thinks will happen to you.
"It's not wanting to fuck that is my problem, it's who you want to fuck," he growls, his voice tinged with bitterness.
You want to slap him, angry that he doesn’t seem to get it, “I don’t get to fuck anyone thanks to you,” you retort back with venom laced in your voice.
His entire body turns to face you, his gaze piercing through you as he asks, "You want to get fucked?"
“Yes! Obviously!”
Heeseung lunges towards you, pressing his lips to yours in a matter of seconds to your answer. At first, you’re confused at what is happening, the unfamiliar feeling of his mouth melting into yours causes your head to thump.
But as he moves you to lay back, flicking the seat to recline all the way back, you find yourself chasing his body with yours, your lips like magnets as they draw themselves back to his. He tastes sweet, not like how you expected, you were presuming it’s the flavour of his vape he swears he doesn’t use.
Shuffling your way up the seat, you spread your legs so he can situate himself neatly in between you, knees resting against the edge of the seat for support, his hands roaming all over your body and his kisses never faltering. 
He was hungry for you, those tiny tastes of your neck served as appetisers before the main meal which was your mouth and tongue. Roughly, he brings one of his palms to cover your throat as squeezes, the consequential parting of your lips as you gasp gives him access to lick into your mouth. The grip on your throat is heavenly, just tight enough to make your brain go fuzzy but not to the point you think you’re in danger.
With a quick roll of his hips, you feel the outline of his cock being pushed onto your core, even through jeans he’s prominent, only building up your anticipation more. He does this a few times, each time the rough edges of his zipper rub your barely covered clit, eliciting a moan from you.
Heeseung's smirk widens at your response, his gaze flickering with desire as he watches the desperation in your eyes. Without hesitation, he leans in closer, his breath hot against your ear as he repeats his question, this time with less anger and more longing. "You want to get fucked?"
Your breath catches in your throat at his words, your desire for him burning hotter than ever before. "Yes, please, Heeseung," you whimper, using your hands to hold his hips against yours as you rut yourself desperately against him, humping his length through his jeans. 
Heeseung almost feels bad for you, clearly, he underestimated how much you needed to seek release. No wonder you were willing to entertain someone like Woobin. He had to make this worth the frustration he has been causing you.
The pressure of Heeseung's hand around your throat tightens, eliciting a gasp from your lips as you struggle to catch your breath, "You sure you want to fuck a guy like me?" he hisses, his voice tinged with both agitation and desire, the intensity of his gaze burning into yours.
Despite the lack of air, you manage to choke out your response, your voice laced with desperation, "Yes, Heeseung, I need you."
A smug smirk plays across Heeseung's lips at your admission, his grip on you tightening ever so slightly. "Oh, I know you need me, Sweetheart," he replies, his tone dripping with confidence. "You're staining my jeans as we speak." His words send a shiver down your spine, a potent mixture of arousal and frustration coursing through you.
But then his question cuts through the haze of desire, forcing you to confront the reality of the situation, "I'm asking if you want to go back to little Woobin now?" he taunts, knowing full well the answer already. He just wants to hear you say it.
With a shake of your head, you release your hold on his hips and begin to unbutton his jeans, determination blazing in your eyes. "No," you confess, your voice barely above a whisper. "No, I only want you."
“Thought so,” he kisses you again before releasing your throat, focusing his hand's attention on ridding you of your pants while you work to get his trousers out of the way. He tugs your underwear down, tossing them to his side of the car before lining himself up at your hole.
Wrapping your legs around his hips, you try to push him to slip into you, but he keeps his hips rigid, only making you look more desperate for him. He taps your clit with the head of his cock, each time it slaps down, he echoes it with a tut.
“You don’t even know if I’ll fit,” his voice whispering in your ear as he licks the shell of it, “All those preppy rich boy cocks aren’t anything like mine,” he takes your wrist in his hand and guides you to feel his length as it sits neatly in your folds, “See?”
Whining, you pout, knowing he’s just teasing you for badness, “I promise I can handle it,” you say lowly, pumping his cock between your cunt and hand. The motion makes Heeseung hiss in pleasure, the feeling of his cock trapped only adding to his anticipation of being inside you.
He moves in for a chaste kiss on your lips, his touch soft despite the intense need between you, "I'll go slow," he tells you, his words a balm in the midst of the intense moment. Even in the heat of passion, Heeseung is driven by his instinct to protect you.
With one swift movement, he slides into your heat slowly, letting you stretch around him. Surprisingly to both of you, your pussy is accommodating him perfectly, the stretch a little painful but not unbearable. He shallowly moves his hips back and forth, watching his cock disappear into you further and further each time until he’s bottoming out and tapping your cervix lightly.
Heeseung isn't wrong when he tells you that no other cock you've had can compare to his. Every curve and ridge of his dick seems perfectly designed to hit every sweet spot inside you, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. It's an otherworldly sensation, the way he gains traction with each movement, his confidence growing as he senses your comfort and willingness to take more.
"You're so tight, baby girl," he murmurs between kisses.
Lost in the throes of passion, you cling to Heeseung, your bodies moving in perfect synchronisation as you lose yourself in the sensation of him filling you completely. Each thrust sends shockwaves of pleasure coursing through you, igniting a fire that burns hotter with each passing moment.
Heeseung's hands roam over your body, exploring every curve and contour with a hunger that matches your own. His touch is both gentle and possessive, his fingers leaving a trail of fire in their wake as they trace the contours of your skin. The pads of his fingers roughly grab your tit that’s managed to escape your dress, twisting your nipple between his finger and thumb.
Your hands are in a similar position, running along his toned stomach under his shirt, trying to commit it to memory, just in case you never get to do this again. You wish this was happening with zero clothes in the way but the desperation between you both got in the way. 
As the intensity of your desire builds, Heeseung's movements become more urgent, his thrusts growing deeper and more powerful with each passing moment. You can feel the tension coiling within you, the promise of release looming on the horizon like a distant storm.
“You’re squeezing me so tight, Y/N. I won’t last much longer,” he admits, knowing that he’s close to the edge himself.
“Need it, I need you to cum,” you moan loudly, your hand leaving his skin to find your clit, rubbing it vigorously as you try and speed along your orgasm.
Your words drive Heeseung to pound into you faster, willing both of you to come undone together. The car shakes as you both speed up your movements, your hips trying to match his rhythm to create a deeper impact with each buck of his hips.
With a final, desperate thrust, Heeseung drives you both over the edge, sending you spiralling into ecstasy. Wave after wave of pleasure crashes over you, leaving you breathless and trembling under him, the ropes of his cum coating your heat. 
“Oh, fuck,” he groans, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he feels his cock swell and throb inside of you, “Cum with me, Y/N. Please.”
Circling your arms around his shoulders, you hug him close to you as his body shivers, still reeling from the aftermath of his climax. You lay like that for a few minutes, processing everything that just transpired between you both.
“Are you okay?” he asks, holding himself up to face you, one hand wiping your sweaty bangs from your forehead.
Nodding, you shut your eyes, massaging his shoulders lightly as you let bliss take over you, “I feel great,” you smile.
Heeseung grabs your pants from the driver seat and bundles them up, using them as a makeshift cloth to clean you up, spitting on them before running them along your swollen cunt, “We can’t do this ever again,” he says quietly, his breathing starting to regulate again.
“What do you mean?” you lean on your elbows, looking up at him with confusion, “Was it not okay?”
Of course, it was okay, Heeseung thinks your pussy might be the best he’s ever had, but it’s not logical to try and keep this fantasy alive. You were too different, this encounter was fueled by anger and rage between you both, hardly the start of a picture-perfect relationship.
He discards your underwear and pulls his own bottoms up, tucking his softening cock into his boxers and jeans, “It was great, but I’m supposed to protect you, not fuck you,” he says, shuffling back into his seat, starting the car.
“We’ll use protection next time,” you shrug, fixing your seat to sit upright, “It’s no big deal.”
Heeseung sighs, his frustration evident as he starts the car and pulls out onto the road. "You know that's not what I mean, Y/N," he replies, his voice tinged with resignation.
The rest of the drive home is filled with silence, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. Heeseung's thoughts swirl with the fear of losing his job, the guilt of failing to protect you, and the sudden need to be inside you all the time.
“We forget about this, okay?” he asks, eyes flickering to you.
You nod in agreement, but a smirk tugs at the corners of your lips, betraying your true thoughts. Deep down, you know that you won’t forget about it, and this will certainly not be the last time you find yourself fucking Lee Heeseung - You'll make sure of it.
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moon7jay · 1 month
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ㄴ CHERRY🍒 ㄱ : Lee Heeseung
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pairing : pervert!heeseung x virgin!reader
cheeries to pop this semester : Y/N (Heeseung's pick)
Warnings : toxic heeseung, manipulation, coercion, morally gray characters, dub con, infidelity, angst, filthy smut, masturbation, voyeurism, exhibitionism, body image issues, body shaming, family issues (it gets heavy), unprotected sex, cum eating, violence, dacryphilia.
Wc : 23k+
a/n : IT'S FINALLY HERE OMG, this is my first full length fic on here and I really put my all into it, please reblog and leave feedbacks, it's really really important for me, I cherish all of your words so much<3
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!!!!!!! READ PREVIEW FIRST !!!!!!!!
You're quite literally the most stuck up thing Heeseung has ever laid his eyes on. It’s the way you stick out like a sore thumb; Your ponytail is meticulously braided, the grandma skirt that you chose to wear cascades down, stopping just beneath your knees in a habitual fashion and your pressed pink silk blouse is impeccably buttoned up to the collar, not one inch of extra skin in sight.
The book clutched tightly against your chest ties your entire look of “austere sophistication” together.
"Microprocessors", the title reads. Pfft. Typical of you. Only you can clutch onto such a demonic book like it is some quality literature. Heeseung nearly fights the urge to scoff.
You're peak virgin demonstration if Heeseung’s ever seen one. Your embodiment of purity is unparalleled, and it feels like a personal attack on his masculinity that he hasn't been able to get you under him yet. Keyword : yet. 
As he backs you up against the wall, your eyes downcast and your free hand nervously fiddling with the button of your blouse, he thinks you look pathetic. You exude an air of pitiful vulnerability, and it ignites a primal desire within him to consume you entirely.
You're nervous and it’s palpable. He can see it in the way you don't even meet his eyes, refusing to face him at all. The blush adorning the apple of your cheeks is adorable; fuck, you're cute. And Heeseung doesn't like cute things. But something about you makes you the exception to his usual preferences. Your innocence only provokes him more, acting as a catalyst, intensifying his desire to unleash all his darkest fantasies on your inexperienced body. He wants to explore you, peel off your layers and dive in deep like no one has ever done before. This need, this innate urge to taint you; it drives him absolutely feral.
"Did you watch the video I sent you last night?" he asks, unable to stop himself from leaning into your space, taking a deep whiff of your vanilla perfume. You even smell like a virgin. Fresh and untainted.  And, oh so tempting. 
Your head shakes meekly, but the discreet way you bite your lower lip tells him that you did watch it. Fuck yeah. He was high and horny when he recorded that nut video. Pressing send wasn’t on his agenda but his head was filled with the sinful thoughts of you and your pretty pink lips, and what better way to testify his desire to you than making you see how he looks in throes of pleasure, chanting your name like a literal dog in heat.
You yelp when his hand grabs your waist to pull you closer to himself. God, you feel good against him.
He nuzzles his nose into your warm cheek while your tiny fist makes contact with his chest "let-let go" you squeak out and it only makes him chuckle in amusement. You're so fucking cute. 
"you liked it baby? Bet you liked how I stroked my dick nice and slow, just for you" He watches in glee as the red in your cheeks spreads all the way down to your neck. He loves how responsive you are, loves how even the littlest of words make you falter in front of him, like a frail flower caught in a sudden gust of wind. Then you look up, and Heeseung feels his breath leaving his chest, as if the air has been vacuumed from his lungs .Your big, captivating eyes meet his dark ones and he can't help but let his perverse curiosity take over his sick mind. He wonders how your pretty orbs look when you cry. 
Scratch that. He wants to see you cry. 
What makes this thought more unsettling is that fact that Heeseung isn't apposed to seeing you cry in pain. As long he gets to see your eyes brimming with tears , he cannot give less of a fuck about their source. He'll fuck you missionary, Heeseung decides, staring deep into your eyes while he slides deep inside your tight little pussy. His cock chubs up at the thought alone. 
"you c-can''t send me stuff like that, it's inappropriate" you mumble shyly. He snickers and squeezes the fat of your waist, making another pathetic squeak to leave your mouth. 
"What can I do darling, there's not one appropriate thought in my head when it comes to you. wanna do so many inappropriate things to you, you’ll let me won’t you?" He whisper asks, and watches how your eyes struggle to maintain eye contact before you succumb to your shyness, choosing to look down instead.
 
"Heeseung, man, it’s time to go " Jake's panicked voice interrupts the filthy words he was about to mutter in your ears again. He turns his head slightly towards the entrance of the hall and sees Jake's brown mop of hair, rustling right outside. Heeseung sighs and turns back to face you. 
"Looks like we'll have to cut our fun short, you'll wait for my call tonight won't you baby? wanna hear your voice when I cum" He tells you, reveling in the way you only curl into yourself at his words, chewing your bottom lip raw. Fuck he wants to kiss the fuck out of you. But he can't. Not yet. Heeseung is aware of the boundaries he’s been crossing by touching you and sending you intimate stuff without your consent, and he doesn't want to push it, not so fast.He lets go of your body reluctantly and winks at you before making his way out of the hall. Jake's frantic eyes meet his once he's outside, and he rolls his eyes, already sensing an incoming lecture about morals and respect. 
"I'm never gonna be your guard dog again, it's risky fucking business" Jake spits,brows furrowed in distress. Heeseung merely shakes his head at him "you won't get it" he mumbles as he walks ahead, leaving Jake to run to catch up to him
"Yeah, I don't see the fun in being suspended, but hey, maybe that's just me" Jake replies sarcastically ,making Heeseung give him “the” look. "Dramatic much?" He asks, rounding the corner to the cafeteria and making his way inside. 
"I'm being dramatic? You're the one risking your reputation for some pussy, we can both be in jail for sexual harassment". Heeseung tunes out his friend's baseless rant and plops onto his designated seat. Jake slumps down right next to him. 
"Man I'm just saying, that if she ever decides to go to the dean about this, your messages will be proof enough to land you in big trouble" Jake explains. “and me too because you drag me into every unethical thing like the good friend that you are” he adds, sarcasm dripping from his tone, and Heeseung wonders when Jake fell victim to the sassy men apocalypse. 
But you won't, you love the chase as much as he does, he can see it in your eyes, Heeseung wants to say, but he doesn’t, choosing to stare at you instead. His eyes trace the movement of your figure when you enter the cafeteria sometime later. You're still hugging the book to your chest, making your way to the seat that's the farthest away from everyone else, as always. Your skirt makes his hands itch, he wants to know what lies underneath so fucking badly. He wonders if you know the effect that your modesty has on him, wonders if you know that your body being covered from head to toe gives more space for fantasy and yearning than any naked girl ever could.
"Stare any longer and your eyeballs might fall out of their sockets" Sunghoon’s berating voice brings his attention back to the table. He was so lost in you that he didn't notice sunghoon flopping down in the seat right across from him, shrugging his jacket off and throwing it unceremoniously on the table. 
"She's gonna be the death of me" Heeseung bemoans, running an exasperated hand over his face. Sunghoon laughs and kicks his leg under the table. 
"She already saw her name in that list that day, she knows what you want, and I don't think she'll let you anywhere near her anytime soon". Jake snorts, masking it with a cough when Heeseung shoots a glare in his direction.
He looks over at you again, finding the way you fiddle with your pen oddly erotic. He thinks he might be losing his goddamn mind, because the way he jerked off right after you angrily threw the “cherries to pop this semester” list on his face and stormed off , was shameful to say the least. That was the first time he had seen pure heat and raw emotion in your eyes, and damn you looked sexy as hell when you were angry. 
"She won't be a virgin by the end of this semester, write it down" Heeseung challenges, meeting Sunghoon's eyes. His friend only shrugs in response and turns around to look at you over his shoulder. 
"Sure, but by the looks of it, you won't be the one doing the honors" Jake snorts again , but Heeseung doesn't spare him a glance this time, his entire attention pivoted to the raven haired boy making his way over to your table. Heeseung doesn't like the way your eyes light up and you instantly sit up straighter in your seat, fixing your hair as if looking to impress. He scoffs. Loudly. Fucking park jongseong. 
"Does she really find that dweeb attractive?" He can't help but ask, jaw clenching when he sees you blushing, genuinely blushing and smiling at someone who's not him. 
"I dunno man, girls love that whole nerdy gentleman thing jay's got going on, some bullshit about being a green flag and all" Sunghoon supplies.
"They're friends too, lover boy's got game" Jake adds, smiling cheekily when Heeseung shoots him a dark look, yet again. 
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You're in a trance like state when you walk back home. With the whole hall incident with Heeseung, and jay approaching you at lunch, today doesn’t seem real, as if belonging to a different reality altogether.
What you feel for Heeseung isn't something that you can describe in words. He.. He harasses you. He touches you and grabs you and gropes you, but within limits. His actions lie in a murky territory, perplexing the norms of acceptability, and yet, you only yearn more. does that make sense? Maybe it doesn't to normal people, but in your touch starved brain, it perfectly makes sense. Some days you hate him and some days you crave him, always oscillating between the extremes of loathing and longing. You suppose that's because he's been the only source of thrill amidst the barren landscape of your existence for a very long time. He excites you, he flusters you, but ignites flames beneath your breastbone with mere words. His gaze unnerves you and yet, you can't bring yourself to push him away. Some would call you crazy, and you won't have any convincing arguments to defend yourself.
You have been a little desperate all your life, desperate for someone to want you, desperate for someone to see you, a ceaseless yearning for recognition, for acknowledgement of your existence and you're not ashamed to admit it. After all, how far can you lie about the very thing etched into your bones and skin? And to what end?
More, more, more, the intense craving, an insatiable hunger for it defined your very being. You were an unattractive child and grew up into an even more unappealing adult , at least that's what your mother used to tell you before she eventually passed away. Her echoes of criticism resonated through your subconscious, shaping you as a mirror of her own insecurities.
That would explain why you can't meet your own eyes in the mirror, and crave attention like a drug, seeking solace in the fleeting attention Heeseung bestows upon you. He's akin to a drug that leaves you high and delusional for a while, intoxicating you with fleeting moments of desirability.
You aren't stupid though, you harbor no illusions regarding his intentions . You know what he wants from you, you are aware that you as a person don't mean a thing to him, he just wants to take your virginity and flaunt it around like a badge of peak male prowess or something, you're just another challenge to him, reduced to a mere conquest for his vanity. But you haven't felt like a person in so long, you don't think you are in any position to make demands.
When you've been parched long enough, when the thirst reaches fever pitch, threatening to push you over the verge of insanity; the yearning for satisfaction eclipses the rationality of self preservation. The moment of brief satiation held such a twisted appeal, that you were willing to embrace pain and self destruction if it came along with a fleeting sense of fulfillment. The need for validation clouds your judgement, and you become nothing but a mindless puppet of your desires.
That might also explain why your crush on park jongseong is still alive after being brutally rejected in the first semester. Jay and you had developed a friendship really quickly at the very beginning of college, but both of you had never really talked outside of the university hackathons and coding competitions. His knowledge was what drew you to him, and the way he was able to come up with solutions to the most complex problems while you were fighting for your life, it just left you with no choice but to watch him with heart eyes. He was always polite to you too, and what were you if not a sucker for gentle and soft spoken men. 
He stopped talking to you after you confessed though, not completely because you still had to work on projects together, but conversations became more one sided and short, and so eventually, you just grew apart.
But ever since you got grouped together for the Cp techathon, he has started acting different; there’s so many lingering touches and subtle flirty glances that sometimes you’re sure you’re imagining everything in your head. Maybe you should get checked out for maladaptive daydreaming. Just a suggestion.
You're pulled out of your thoughts when you reach the curb of your house and don't see your dad's car parked inside. You breathe out a sigh of relief at the sight and proceed to make your way to your neighbor’s house. Suzy, your 60 year old neighbor, might be the only good thing going on for you. As you ring her door bell, you can't help but feel excited at the prospect of seeing your brother after an entirety of 2 whole weeks. Pitter patter of slippers approaches the door , and Suzy's wrinkled face greets you with a warm smile, as if she was already expecting you. 
"Hi" you smile, and she motions behind her, at the loud chatter of your brother. 
"Jihoon has not stopped asking for you for a second" She says , and you can't help but laugh as you make your way inside. 
The four year old stops talking to his toys as soon as he sees you, his blue orbs staring at you for a whole minute in amazement, and then , as if snapping out of a trance, he sprints towards you at the speed of lightening. "Y/n! " he squeals.
You giggle when he tackles you with a hug, sighing in contentment at finally feeling him so close. You're hit with a sudden urge to cry, feeling his tiny arms wrap around your neck, being away from him never gets easy no matter how many times you have done it. You coo as he tells you how much he missed you, burying his tiny frame further into your chest. You press several kisses to his face and tell him you missed him just as much. 
"Will you be taking him home today?" Suzy asks, coming over to sit down on the couch in front of you. You caress the back of jihoon's head, rocking him back and forth in your embrace, and meet her eyes, nodding a little. "Dad won't be home for a few weeks, hopefully, his car isn't there" you tell her. She nods in understanding and pats your arm, letting you know with her eyes, that she'll be here if you need her. 
You're grateful for her, she's the only person you can entrust your little brother with when things start to get bad at home. On the days your dad decides to get shit faced and break everything in the house, succumbing to bouts of inebriation, you're grateful that you can keep jihoon away from the violence. You honestly don't know what you would do without Suzy, the only steadfast refuge from the chaos that is your life. In some way, you are aware that having jihoon over alleviates her loneliness too, fulfilling her own needs of companionship that she deeply craves in her old age.
 
Occasionally, you're hit with a wave of inevitable jealousy at jihoon’s sheltered innocence, wishing that someone had kept you away too; from the violence and the pain. But you guess you were meant to be the protector instead of the protected, healing your inner child every time you see jihoon smiling brighter than the sun. If you had to live through all the suffering again , just to preserve and shelter his infectious smile, you would do it in a heartbeat. 
Suzy hands you a box of home made food when you make your way outside. "I promise to be back for you in a few hours sweetie, you will behave right?" you coo at jihoon's snotty, red nose as he clings onto your leg, begging you to take him with you. You sigh and watch in helplessness as Suzy picks him up in her arms, shushing him down so you can leave. It never gets easier.
Returning home, you dodge the broken pieces of glass and frames, quickly get out of your college attire, throwing on a pair of worn out jeans and a discolored top. There's still an hour for you to be at your part time job , and so you start cleaning the house instead. You don't know why you bother, to be honest, but there's an innate need that craves normalcy. When the house is clean, that means everything is going to be okay. Cleaning serves as a ritual of order amidst chaos, offering a sense of control amidst uncertainty.
Your shift at the cafe ends in a daze, countless customers come in and go out, some rude, some decent but you have learnt to take everything in a stride now. First month you had started working this job, you were a crying mess after the end of almost every shift, your sensitive little heart unable to comprehend why people were so rude. However, just like everything else in your life, you adapted to the demands of the job pretty quickly. As you stare at the now almost deserted cafe, save for a handful of students engrossed in their laptops, you pray that no one else comes in. Fatigue weighs heavily upon you, you’re exhausted out of your mind and just want to get out of here as soon as you can. Yet, as the familiar chime of the entrance bell resounds, signaling the arrival of yet another customer, you resign yourself to another interaction.
Your head snaps towards the door and your jaw quite literally falls to the floor. For as long as you have worked here, you've never run into any of your classmates. However, today out of all days, when you look like the wall mart version of the walking dead, park fucking jongseong is here. Because of course he is, your life has to be a social experiment. 
You pull yourself together when you realize that he's smiling at you, and you aren't smiling back. "Hi" you squeak out, fairly sure that you sounded pathetic. He grins at your flustered state, and leans closer to you on the counter. 
"Hi" He whispers back, your heart beating faster at the look he's giving you. You stare at his perfectly parted raven hairs and mentally pass out when he fiddles with his lip ring. 
"Um-so- what can i get you?" You stutter out, finally coming to your senses and realizing that you have a job. His eyes travel down to your chest , and he leans further into your personal space, his expensive cologne filling up your senses. 
"I'll take you" He replies smoothly.
"I-, what-you huh" you splutter, not quite trusting your own ears. There's no way Jay is flirting with you right now. The crush that you've harbored for the boy blooms in full glory as he continues to smile at you, a suggestive glint in his eyes. His smile is so damn pretty.
 
"I'm kidding pretty girl, I just saw you from across the street and thought I'd say hi, and ask if you need a ride back home" He explains. Your lips tug into a shy smile at the nickname, and you peek outside to see his gray Volkswagen parked across the street. Oh wow, Jay thinks you're pretty AND he wants to give you a ride back home. Why does that sound so familiar? You’re pretty sure you saw this same scenario playing out in one of your lovesick dreams last week.
"Oh-um- i don't wanna cause you any trouble" you mumble , hoping that he doesn't see the way your back is ramrod straight all of a sudden. You never really prepared yourself for the possibility of him , or anyone for that matter, wanting to drop you at your house. You're not ashamed of your neighborhood or the life that you live, but you despise the looks of judgement and pity more. You have managed to maintain this facade of a properly put together person for so long in college, and it has saved you so much mental torture that you know would ensue once everyone gets to know about your humble abode, and how your scholarship is the only reason you’re able to afford your college. 
"come on sweetheart, would I really walk all the way across the street if I really didn't wanna see you?" He asks, fiddling with his lip ring again. If you didn't know any better, you would say he looks sort of nervous. But why would anyone be nervous of you. Of all people. 
You nod meekly and mumble a quick "my shift gets over in 5 minutes", trying to wrap your head around the fact that Jay wanted to see you. HE wanted to see YOU. Jay winks at you and makes his way outside. You follow him with your eyes as he crosses the street and goes back inside his car, waiting for you. 
HE'S WAITING FOR YOU. What on god’s green earth. 
Seeing that there's only one customer left, you hurriedly make your way to the ladies toilet and wash your face, trying to get rid of the tiredness and grime off of it. What if he kisses you? Your own delusion makes you laugh. You do have some nerve at coming up with such insane scenarios in your head. He's just being nice, and here you are, hearing wedding bells. 
You reapply your lip balm and take off the apron you were adorning over your tee. You look okay. Well. There's not much you can do in the current situation anyway. You do hope that he overlooks how unkempt you look compared to your college appearance. Should you untie your hairs? But, wouldn't that be too much? He just saw you with a ponytail... fuck it, it's like a once in a lifetime opportunity anyway. You untie your hairs and let them fall in cascades over your shoulders. This is better.
 
You clean up behind you and inform the remaining customer that it's closing time. Handing the keys to Ralph, the security guard, you quickly run across the street, not wanting to make him wait any longer. Jay opens the car door for you from the inside even before you can reach it.
 
"Hop in" He says, a grin in his voice and he doesn't have to ask you twice.
 
This might be the most expensive car you've ever had the opportunity to sit in. The leather is soft against your skin, and it smells of fresh citrus. Even his car smells good. 
"So, Where to darling?" He asks, running his eyes all over you. You feel a little self conscious under his gaze but manage to utter your address nonetheless.
The entire ride is mostly silent with little conversation that he makes, asking you for directions. It isn't awkward, and you're so grateful for that. 
"Is this it?" He asks, stopping his car in front of the building whose name you blurted instead of your real address. 
You nod and thank him, ready to get out of the car when he grabs your wrist, pulling you into him. The middle console digs into your stomach but you honestly couldn't care less with the way his hot breath falls on your face. 
Your cheeks are warm and you are sure that you represent a tomato with the way the heat only increases when he tucks your hairs behind your ear with his other hand. 
And oh god, he's leaning in, his eyes fixed onto your lips as he inches closer and closer and- 
As if on autopilot, You push him away. Your cheeks burn in embarrassment at how taken aback he looks by your sudden reaction. 
"I-im sorry i- i don't-
"I thought you liked me" He says in a hostile tone, and you can hear the annoyance in his voice, can see the indignation in his eyes. 
You can't believe you just pissed off your longtime crush because of your inability to be normal. How could you have fucked up so badly? 
"I-i do, I do like you" You mumble quickly, trying to hold your tears at bay when he scoffs at your words. The shame weighs heavy on your chest as he stares at you a bit longer before looking forward towards the road. 
"Goodnight y/n" He replies sharply, in the most coldest voice you have ever seen him use towards you. 
Your lips quiver as you wrack your brain for something to say but you don't think you can say anything to fix this now. You've made a fool of yourself and embarrassed Jay all because you can't be fucking normal about anything. 
He presses the horn aggressively, and you jump, mumbling apologies and scurrying out of his car hurriedly. Your ears burn in humiliation when he drives off without sparing a single glance towards you. 
Well done y/n. Your habit of being self sabotaging never really will go away. You cry all the way back to your house, not understanding the abrupt downturn of promising events. It was going so well. He was going to kiss you. You were so close to having your first kiss. 
You wipe your tears dry when you get close to your house. Jihoon is fast asleep in Suzy's arms when she hands him over to you. You thank her for her kindness and make your way to your house, cradling jihoon's sleeping form. When he cuddles into your neck, his innocent embrace evokes a flood of pent up tears; all that you've been pushing back today, comes flooding out. You can't help but wonder if you'll ever be able to sleep this carefree in someone's arms. If there's love meant for you,then you have never felt it once in your life, and you wonder if it's too late now.
You're crying when you tuck him tenderly into bed, crying when you leave a wet kiss on his forehead, caressing his soft cheeks. You're crying when you try to eat the food Suzy gave you in the afternoon, and you're crying when you rub off all the evidence of today from your body inside the shower. At one point, you aren’t even sure what you’re crying about.
Thankfully, when you come out of the shower, the tears have ceased. You embrace the numbness which spreads all over your body after a soul crushing sob session. It’s funny really, how quickly you seem to turn your emotions on and off like a flip switch, like they aren’t even real at all.
Once your emotions are out of the way, and jihoon is asleep, you can't help but relish in the feeling of your skin under your fingertips. You aren't particularly horny, you just want to feel better and sleep with an empty mind. Masturbation always seems to work.
 
You throw off your towel and crawl onto the bed, spreading your legs and rubbing small circles on your clit, trying to get yourself wet. You rub and rub, and whine when it starts to feel somewhat good. Still, it isn't good enough to get you soaked thoroughly, so that you can cum again and again to your heart's content.
You groan frustratedly and reach for your phone, feeling extremely ashamed when your finger hovers over heeseung's chats. Your pussy tingles in excitement when you read his lewd words, attached to the video he sent you yesterday. 
"Gonna fuck you so good if you give me a chance baby, look how hard you make this dick"
You bite your lower lip and press play, rubbing your thighs together at the wet sounds coming from the video. His dick is so thick and girthy, curving upwards in excitement. His fingers look so long wrapped around his cock, you can’t help but squeeze your thighs at the thought of feeling them inside of you.
The way he moves his palm, up and down, up and down, moaning and groaning your name in pleasure, it has you writhing in no time. You will never admit it to heeseung, but he's the only person you ever think of while touching yourself. He turns you on beyond belief. He turns you on in a way that feels wrong. Almost Taboo. 
You continue to rub your clit to the sight of him jerking off, hoping that you could see his face in the video too. You wonder what he looks like when he's feeling good. The thought alone is enough to have you dripping in no time. You throw your phone onto the bed, but before you can start fingering your leaking pussy, your phone rings, making you groan in annoyance. 
You reach beside your head to pick it up and almost drop it on your face when you see heeseung's name flashing on your screen.
Fuck. What the fuck.
When he told you in college that he was gonna call, you really didn't think he actually will. But the phone is ringing and your body lights up in excitement. Is he really going to jerk off on call? Is he really that perverse?
Curiosity gets the better of you, and you swipe right, chewing on your lower lip as you press the phone against your ear. 
"Hey baby, I didn't think you would pick up, missed me didn't ya? " His cocky voice blares through the speaker and you blush. How was he making you blush over the phone, get a fucking grip y/n.
He chuckles when you don't say anything, finding your silence cute. 
"At least say a hi for me baby, so I can know that I'm not about to jerk off for your dad" His words make you wince, why was he so vulgar? 
"Heeseung!" You whisper shout, trying to convey through your voice how scandalized you are.
 
"There she is, fuck pretty, you're gonna stay with me on call while I beat my meat for you yeah?" He grunts and you gasp, feeling violated by his language alone. 
You rub your thighs and fiddle with your pebbled nipples "c-can you not use such words? " you ask quietly, hoping that he doesn't pick up on the silent whine that leaves your mouth right after. 
You hear a little shuffling on the line and your face feels hot. So he really is getting ready to jerk off? What will he say if you tell him how wet you are for him right now?
Heeseung can't believe you haven't hung up on him yet. His dick getting harder and harder the more that he hears your cute fucking voice. 
"Nah baby, I'm a nasty motherfucker, you should know that. If you ever let me fuck your cunt, I'll show you what real nasty sex feels like" He says, groaning when he hears you whimper at his words. Fuck. Why the fuck are you so fucking cute. 
He hisses when he wraps his rough palm around his leaking prick, he hasn't even started jerking off yet and he's already leaking so much precum.
Heeseung doesn't like cute things, but fuck does he want to fuck into one, wants to pound your cute little pussy while you make those cute little sounds for him. 
His ears perk up when he hears the wet squelching sounds coming through the speaker. Fuck. Fuck are you--? 
"baby, are you touching yourself? I can hear your wet little cunt through the phone" He grunts, as if in pain.
The moan that you let out tells him all that he needs to know. And damn he's never been so fucking hard before. 
"fuck yeah baby, fuck yourself with your tiny little fingers, make yourself feel real good for me" He groans, stroking his cock at a rapid pace, unable to stop himself from going feral. This is the first time that you have given him the taste of what it really could be like if he was buried in your wet snatch. It's driving him batshit crazy. 
"H-heeseung" you mewl, making him fuck into his fist faster. God, you sound so sexy. The heat spreads all over his body, making him feel so damn good that he starts bucking up his hips into his hands. 
"Y-yeah? Feels so good yeah , baby? Fuck, I wish It was my cock buried in you right now, I would pound you all fucking night -ugh fuckk" he grunts, panting as he feels the knot in his stomach tighten. He wants to cum so bad. 
Your whines reach a fever pitch and the intensity of the wet squelch increases. God, the filthy sounds of your wetness as you play with your pussy, make his tongue loll out of his mouth. He needs to bury his face in your juices before he dies.
"g-gonna c-um im-ah" you moan, whining and panting as your orgasm gets closer.
Heeseung curses under his breath and jerks off furiously, squeezing his engorged dick head and hissing in pure pleasure. 
"Oh yeah, cum all over my fucking cock baby, make a fucking mess, I'm gonna give you my cum too" He moans, thrusting up into his fist, again and again and again, chasing his high desperately. His palm is a wet, sticky mess of precum while he strokes his shaft to your whiny voice. You make him so fucking horny, the brutal way he's fisting his dick is a testament to that. 
A loud moan on your end makes him cuss, his own eyes rolling back as he hears you cumming. So fucking cute, god you sound heavenly. His hips buck up into his fist a few more times before he's spurting thick strings of his cum all over his chest and palm. He plants his feet onto the bed, and thrusts up into his fist over and over to drain himself of all that he has to give.
Fucking hell, that was probably the best jerk off session of his life. Before he can tell you that, however, you hang up on him. 
Heeseung chuckles in exhaustion and doesn't even bother cleaning his body, laying on the bed in pure sexual satiation. 
You're so cute. 
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The events of yesterday hit you hard in the morning. Your eyes are swollen and red because of the crying session you had after masturbation. When the high of the orgasm wore off, everything else came back and it hurt like a bitch. 
You can't believe you let heeseung talk you through your orgasm, you can't believe that he made you cum without touching you, and what you can't believe the most is how much you liked it. 
Your mind drifts off to Jay, and a sudden shame fills you up again. No matter how hard you try, you're unable to forget the look of disappointment on his face, looking at you with so much annoyance etched onto the creases of his face, it almost reminded you of your mother.
Your gaze goes to the clock and you can't help but heave yourself out of the bed. As much as you'd like to stay and rot in extreme self pity, you don't have the option. Jihoon will be up soon, and you have a limited one hour stretch to make his lunch and get ready for college. You're not ready for the walk of shame to college, but being an academic weapon is your only achievement in life. You wonder what you would be if they take that away from you. Have you ever done anything else? Gone out, made friends? Got drunk at parties, had sleepovers? You haven't, you realize with a throbbing pain at the back of your head. It never was an option for you. 
You take a shower and fix a quick breakfast for your brother and yourself, getting ready in your prim and proper attire, reverting back to your put together front. 
Waking up jihoon is a work of lost art that you've mastered over the years, and so it's easy work. What isn't easy, however, is to convince him to let you go. 
"Why can't you stayy" He whines, tears already filling up his big, brown eyes as he clings to your leg like always. 
You kneel down to come face to face with him and quickly wipe his tears away "I'm going to bring back chocolates, you like them right?" you ask, cooing when he nods, his brows still furrowed in defiance. 
"Then someone will have to go and bring them right? so be a good boy and let y/n go" 
His little brows furrow further and he shakes his head again "suzy can go" He declares, and you can't help but be endeared. All the time that you stay away from him, you'd started to believe that he'll develop more of an attachment with suzy and eventually forget you. But these little things, these are the things that keep you going. 
You plant a big kiss on his puffy cheeks and he's back to grinning in no time, giggling as you tackle him in your arms. 
"Just a few more hours baby, I'll be back and we'll play together, I promise" you assure the little boy and his eyes shine at your words, "swings! at the park!" He exclaims, as if remembering the most important treasure of his life. You nuzzle his nose with your own and intertwine your pinky with his tiny one in a promise. It's so easy to make him happy, your perfect little baby. 
You pepper jihoon with a few more kisses before dropping him off at Suzy's.
Your heart tugs when he starts to cry for you again, but this is your life, you suppose. 
You keep your head down the entire way to class, lest you run into Jay and embarrass yourself again. Luckily for you, Jay isn't in his designated seat in the automata class, and you can’t help but breath a sigh of relief.
The relief is tremendously short lived tho, because Lee Heeseung is sprawled on the seat right next to yours in his full glory. 
Your cheeks turn red when your eyes meet his cocky ones. He smirks and raises a suggestive brow when you don't make a move to come any closer. 
"Do you plan to stand for the entirety of this two hour lecture baby?" He asks, suckling on the pop sickle that he always seems to have somehow. You quickly scan the seats around you, deciding fuck it, and plop onto jay's seat instead. There's no way you will be able to spend two whole hours under Heeseung's lecherous gaze. After last night, you have no idea how to face him. Even on normal days he leaves you extremely flustered and a clumsy mess. 
You can feel his gaze burning holes at the back of your head for the entire duration of the lecture. Sometime in the middle of the lesson, a crumpled paper hits the back of your head. You turn around, shooting heeseung an annoyed look. At least you try to look annoyed. The blush is still prominent on your cheekbones so you can only imagine what you look like to him. 
He motions his head towards the ball of paper lying near your feet. As much as you want to ignore his shenanigans and focus on the lecture, curiosity always gets the best of you. 
You unfold it quickly, tucking it inside your book so that nobody else can catch the words scribbled on it. 
"Wait for me in the janitor's closet"  
You shoot a defying look towards heeseung and crumple the paper back to land it near his jordans. It's equivalent to you saying "I won't" 
Heeseung only grins at you, shooting a wink in your direction, as if to reply
"I know you will"
He has some audacity, you think, as you make your way to the janitor's closet after class. A slave to your desires, you suppose.
A part of you is nervous and ashamed when his 6 feet tall figure enters the limited space of the closet, caging you against the wall. However, the other part of you, the desperate part of you , preens in the attention, almost feeling a sick pride in the fact that you made him cum too. And maybe even harder, if the way he was moaning last night was anything to go by.
 
His large hands circle your waist , and your breath hitches in your throat when he pulls you closer to himself, his nose touching yours while his hot breaths warm your mouth. 
"have sex with me" He says, leaving you speechless, yet again. It's not that he hasn't said those exact same words and even worse things to you before. It's the bluntness that never fails to take you by surprise. 
You shake your head, trying to push yourself out of his grasp. He's stubborn tho, and so damn strong, his hold like an iron grip around your body. 
"Cmon- he groans in frustration- you can have sex with me on the phone but not in person, how is that fucking fair? "
You whimper when he squeezes the fat of your waist harshly, as if branding your body in his hold. You aren't used to being touched so wantonly, and it makes a sick shiver run down the length of your spine.
"W-we did not have s-sex" you splutter, staring right back into his orbs. His heavy lidded eyes travel down to your lips and he leans in, making you gasp loudly when his pink tongue comes out to taste your lower lip, licking it tentatively. Almost experimental in how he runs it all over your lower plump lip. He pulls away before he can steal your first kiss, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel somewhat disappointed. 
"Yes we did have sex. Your tight little pussy came for my fucking cock while you were moaning my name" He supplies cockily, his words sending a wave of heat rushing down between your legs. 
He buries his nose in the crook of your neck and presses his body flush into yours, grinding the proof of his desire against your leg.
"Look what you do to me, fuck baby, if you won't let me fuck your cunt, at least take responsibility for your own actions" He grunts into your skin and you can't help the pathetic moan that leaves your mouth. 
"H-how" you ask, feeling yourself getting wetter the more that he humps your leg. 
Heeseung doesn't reply to you, instead, takes your hand that's clutching his shoulder and presses it against his hard on instead. 
"fuck yeahhh" He hisses, apparently craving your touch like a drug. 
you're sure your face can't get any redder than this. If it wasn't for his tight hold on your body, your knees would have buckled and given up a while ago. The feeling of a dick underneath your palm is foreign but so arousing, the fact that you did this to him. He’s hard for You. 
"Come on baby, squeeze it like you mean it, make me feel fucking good" He hisses, groaning into your neck when you squeeze him softly. The hardness in his jeans seems to get thicker and thicker, it fascinates you. 
He ruts his hips into your palm, desperately,trying to chase the delicious friction while he pants into your soft flesh.
"Fuck, it's not enough" He curses, pulling back from you to unbuckle himself.
You bite into your lower lip in arousal and squeeze your thighs to alleviate some of the pressure you feel between your legs. 
He looks up into your eyes, licking on his lips as he plays with the band of his boxer briefs. He watches in amusement, the way that your eyes can't seem to focus on one single thing, jumping from here to there, so nervous,so pretty and . God, you're cute. 
He takes your hand in his own again and slips it inside his boxers, covering your palm with his own while he uses your soft hand to jerk himself off. 
The hot and heavy feel of his leaking length has you whining. That only makes him chuckle and groan. "Mhmmn baby that feels so good"
The wet and messy way in which he uses your palm to stroke his length up and down, it's addicting, your palm feels soft and his whole body shivers when he sees how desperately you're squirming, your eyes wide and glossy. He wants to fucking ruin you. 
He presses his body further into yours, taking your earlobe into his mouth, small whimpers falling from his mouth while his movements get faster. Your palm is slick with his precum, it should gross you out but everything is so hot and heavy in the small space. 
"Are you wet? Just from feeling my dick? Desperate little thing aren't you? " He muses. You shake your head meekly, averting your gaze from his sweaty face and looking down to observe the rapid movements of your combined hands inside his boxers. 
"M'not wet" you mewl, eliciting a mocking laugh from the boy. He trails his kisses down the tempting length of your neck, the touch so sensual, it leaves you gasping. 
"I can feel your pretty little body squirming against me you know, makes me wanna force my dick inside you, where will you run if I do? " he asks, biting your collarbone when the slide of his dick gets wetter and squelchier. 
His words, instead of scaring you, make an inexplicable heat to ignite your insides. You want him to, you can't believe how bad you want him to act on his desires because you know you don't have the courage to act on your own. 
"f-fuck, pretty, moan for me baby, wanna hear you when I cum" He sighs into your neck, nipping at your skin and planting kisses in between his moans.
Hearing his words make you keen and he curses under his breath. The hold of his palm is brutal, your hand hurts but God does it feel good to hear him so desperate and needy, whining so hotly in your ear.
"fuck I'm so close so -ugh god-" His voice fades into a delicious moan and you can feel yourself dripping, your juices running down the length your thighs. 
You don't hold back on your sounds, letting small whimpers leave your mouth when he digs his teeth into your skin again. 
"Why won't you let me fuck you baby, wanna be the first to get inside your virgin little pussy so bad" He pants, supporting himself with a hand planted beside your head on the wall while he continues to masturbate using your flesh. 
It's exhilarating, it's hot, and it's so scandalous. 
"H-heeseung! " You moan when he lathers the skin of your neck with his saliva, tasting your skin like his life depends on it. 
"Sh-shit" He stutters, the lewd way you cry out his name make his eyes roll back to the back of his head. You gasp when you feel his hot length twitching repeatedly, warm, thick liquid covering your entire palm along with his own. 
His hips stutter a few more times inside your hold before stilling, a large sigh of satisfaction leaving his lips.
"Fucking hell baby, you always make me cum so hard" He whispers, chuckling to himself. 
He pulls your hand out of his boxers and wipes his hand off on his jeans, while you watch in silence with face turning crimson. He dresses himself and winks at you before walking out of the closet, leaving you standing there with your palm covered in his sticky, gooey cum. 
You feel used, but at least you’re useful for something. 
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To say that you are sick of yourself would be an understatement. You feel violated, but some sick part of you enjoys being desired so wantonly. It turns you on. Heeseung doesn't love you, scratch that, he doesn't even like you but here you are, letting him use your body like some mindless sex toy anytime he damn well pleases. You wonder what that says about you. Sure, he's a jerk, but what are you?
You're lost in thoughts, walking home when a loud honk makes you jump on the sidewalk. You turn towards the car honking at you and come to a halt, facing the very familiar Volkswagen. 
There’s no way.
"Come on sweetheart, get inside" Jay grins at you from the inside of his car. You blink at a him a couple of time to really make sure that he's here. After the complete fiasco last night, you really weren't expecting to hear from him so fast. Or at all for that matter.
Nonetheless, he is here, and he's asking you to get inside his car. With your eyes downcast, you crawl towards it and slip inside the passenger seat, playing with your fingers while you avoid looking at him at all costs. He doesn't start the car, but you can feel the weight of his gaze on the side of your face. 
"I'm sorry about last night" He begins, and you can't help but look up at him astonished. Why was he sorry? You were the one who royally fucked up. 
He smiles at you apologetically and reaches out a hand to caresses your cheek by the back of it. If you weren't mentally screaming, you're sure you would have said something, and assured him that he has nothing to be sorry about. 
"I just, I shouldn't have tried to kiss you so fast, at least not without taking you on a date first. it's just that we've been friends for so long, and we both like each other, so it just seemed like the right thing to do" He explains, remorse dripping from his tone. You start to node your head in support of his sentiments when his words click inside your brain. 
Wait. 
"Y-you like me?" You blurt, cheeks flaming when his gaze falls to your mouth and he traces your bottom lip with his thumb. 
"So much that i forgot how to behave" He mutters in a trance, all his attention focused on fiddling with your plump and fleshy lower lip.
 
You blush at his words and avert your gaze back down to your lap, and he pulls his hand back. You want to whine at the loss of contact, enjoying too much being caressed so softly. When was the last time you were touched so gently?
"Before I try to kiss you again, because I will, you're too pretty to resist- he chuckles, and you try to bite back the smile that's threatening to break free on your face- would you like to go on an aquarium date with me? A little birdy told me that is your dream date" He grins at you, wiggling his eyebrows when you look into his kind eyes, and you let your giggles take over your body. The fact that he remembers your random rant from months ago shoots a giddy feeling through your heart. It feels good being remembered. 
"How about tomorrow? Skip college and let me take you out? " He suggests and you nod rapidly, almost detaching your neck from its socket. Jay only laughs at you endearingly, and it makes you blush even more. 
He drops you off at the same building as last night again, and both of you are grinning from ear to ear when he drives off. You're sure you catch a few stray looks from the passerbys when they see you beaming and giggling like an idiot as you walk back home with an obvious skip in your step. It’s ridiculous, really, but it feels good to have something to look forward to in a very long time.
You sigh loudly when you remember the promise you made to jihoon this morning. You're mentally calculating the time you have prior to when you need to be at the cafe, when Suzy's door opens before you can even knock on it, and out comes your little brother, bounding, and giggling in a high pitched scream.
You squat down to catch him in your arms before he can collide with your legs. 
"Looks like someone missed me" You giggle, hugging the little life close to your body, sighing upon inhaling the familiar scent of his baby powder. 
"Missed yew" He mumbles into your throat, his little hands wrapped around your neck, and you can’t help but coo at him in adoration. "Missed you too my baby, y/n loves you so much"
"He has been so excited the entire day, he wouldn't even eat until I told him you'll be mad if he didn't" Suzy tells you, coming out of her house with jihoon's water bottle in her hand. You laugh at her words, and pick your brother up in your arms while he continues to nuzzle into you. 
"I'll take him to the park for a bit, I have about an hour before my shift starts" You inform her and she nods at you, running her experienced warm eyes over your face.
 
"You look happy darling" She notes and you can't help the blush that dusts your cheeks at her words. She apparently notices , cooing at how shy you are all of a sudden.
"is it a boy y/n, yes or no?" She asks, a teasing lilt in her voice and you bite your lower lip, nodding in a giddy manner. 
"It is, I have a date tomorrow" you admit, unable to conceal the excitement in your voice. She gasps and pats your head "what a fortunate man he'll be to have someone as amazing as you darling" She whispers, pure emotion shining in her eyes.
 
You swallow the lump forming in your throat at her words, averting your gaze and mumbling a small thank you. No, you refuse to cry today, you had your fill of indulging in your emotions yesterday.
So, you push her words to the recess of your mind, where you securely encase them in a metaphorical box, stacking it up on a bunch of age old boxes. Emotions that you adamantly refused to confront and deal with, a stance that you still maintain.
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As you sit staring at your wardrobe, a sense of urgency washes over you and you come to two stark realizations. 
Firstly, you need to buy more clothes. The sparse collection of garments hanging before you testified to this necessity.
 
Secondly, and perhaps more pressing, was the acute awareness that none of what you have is remotely suitable for a date.
Jay is supposed to pick you up in a mere hour and you don't have anything to wear. Well, there's a blue halter neck dress that you wore for freshmen party in your first year, which you're sure doesn't fit you now. There's 3 silk pressed shirts which you alternate at your college, a handful of skirts and a scattering of sweaters. 
And that's it. 
You're about to cry when you feel a wave of panic rising within you. You’re o utterly unprepared for this moment.
As the crushing clarity threatens to overwhelm you, a pang of longing sweeps through you. You wish you had a girlfriend. It's not like you don't have friends, you talk to several people in school, be it for work or just casual chatting , but that's about it. Your relations with other people end as soon as you step out of your university building. Of course, you know that it's your own fault that you don't have anyone in your life, you never really put in the effort to keep up with someone, a casualty of your own reluctance to invest in deeper connections.
Whenever someone tries to delve deeper into your life, you just push back, and you push back hard. You are too consumed with your own life, you suppose. It's not that you have never had any friends either, you have had quite a lot, in fact, you even had a best friend in middle school. Time really changed you as a person though, its not to say that she didn't change either, time changes everyone, but your change had been tangible. You just let everyone go, choosing to stay in your own miserable bubble, blocking all attempts of reaching out or any support that you so desperately needed. Each flicker of friendship extinguished, each bond severed, bore the weight of your own self imposed isolation. You did this to yourself, you weren't a victim of circumstances no matter how much self pity you reserve for yourself. You were the architect of your own solitude, barricading yourself within the confines of your melancholic safety. You tell yourself that it’s better this way, that you don’t need anyone, but how long can you fool yourself?
The halter dress is the only option left for you it seems. 
The dress is not tight, but anyone looking at it can tell that it's not made to fit your body either. It's not revealing, but you can't call it modest either, at least by your standards, you don't think you've ever shown so much skin before. The blue one piece ends smack in the middle of your thighs, your chest is covered for the most part, and the long sleeves cover up your arms. If it's not for the unfamiliar sight of your bare legs, everything looks quite normal, you don't look hideous so that's a relief. 
You opt for leaving your hairs open, because last time you did that, Jay tried to kiss you. 
You wait for Jay at the entrance of your false residence. If he finds it odd that you're already outside, he doesn't comment on it, and you're grateful for that. 
"Wow" Jay says as soon as you enter his car “ you look so hot”, making your ears turn bright red. 
"T-thank you" you mumble, trying not to be bothered by how blatantly he is ogling at your exposed thighs, or how his eyes linger due to your dress riding upwards when you sit down. 
You both make casual conversation during the drive, and it's comfortable, the casual back and forth just like old friends. You can get used to this, you tell yourself.
The aquarium that he takes you to is bigger than your entire university building, so pretty and so enchanting, you almost lose track of time. Ever since you were little, you have dreamed of visiting one, you remember writing the same in one of your introductory papers in second semester, a paper that was discussed in class as well. How jay managed to remember that is beyond you tho. Throughout the date, he keeps you updated on every thing that you come across, and it feels good to have his attention completely focused on you. You almost combust when he takes you to a restaurant after the aquarium date, thoroughly flabbergasted because you've never been on a date before. 
The experience is something you will never forget, your first date, the thought makes you feel ecstatic, the wide smile on your face which refuses to go away is a testament to that. 
Turns out, your first kiss happens in the same night as well. As soon as Jay parks his car outside your trademark building, he's all over you. He doesn't ask you, he just leans over to you and smashes his lips against yours, tasting your hot mouth eagerly. You don't know what you're doing, your hands are placed awkwardly over his chest while you try to move your lips against his, mimicking his movements to the best of your ability. He doesn't seem bothered by your lack of skills tho, just diving into your mouth with his tongue, one hand cupping your face while with the other, he gropes your thighs. 
You push back your discomfort and revel in the feeling of his touch, gasping when he bites into your lower lip. He tastes like the wine you drank at the restaurant and you wonder if you taste the same to him. 
The kiss ends too soon for your liking, but, the feeling of his dark eyes and rough hands running all over the length of your body shamelessly, follows you back home. 
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You ignore heeseung's calls for the next few days, almost contemplating blocking his number once and for all, but for some reason, you can’t bring yourself to do it.
Your dates with Jay continue, and you do manage to buy yourself a new dress. You’re doing well for your first relationship, if you can even call it that.
Even though Jay does seem to love kissing you, never in a million did you ever think that you'd find yourself in such a compromising position. However, here you are, sitting on Jay's lap in the middle of class while he eats your face. Yes, he's actually devouring your mouth, tongue buried so deep into your throat that the feeling has you arching your body into him. 
What makes the experience more thrilling is the audience you have. Your classmates had collectively gasped when Jay pulled you onto his lap seemingly out of nowhere. But, it isn't them that you are worried about. It's the boy at the back of the class with a perfect scowl etched onto his handsome face as he watches you make out with someone that's not him. 
Heeseung looks livid and you wonder why. Is he upset because he thinks you aren't a virgin anymore? 
Jay lets you go with a smirk when the professor announces his presence, and you rush to your seat that's right in front of the scowling boy, in a daze. It's actually amazing how he ignores you the entire lecture, something that has never happened before. what's more unsettling is the fact that you are mildly disappointed by that. 
You want to ask him what he's upset about, but you aren't able to gather the courage to. As much as heeseung's a constant itch at the back of your head, you remind yourself that you're dating Jay now, so you can't be thinking about other men. 
You're dating Jay now. You're dating Jay. You're dating. 
None of those sentences sound real to you. 
However, the giddy feeling inside your chest dwindles as Jay gets more and more touchy throughout the entire day. You can't tell if it's normal to grope your chest just a few days after you had your first kiss, but you don't want to make him upset again. You don’t like seeing him angry. Besides, isn't this what you always wanted? Someone to want you, someone to love you? 
And haven't you let Heeseung do worse things to you anyway? Why haven't you ever felt such discomfort when Heeseung used your body to get himself off? . But the truth is, has Heeseung ever touched you this way? Sure he sends you inappropriate messages that are borderline harassment, sure he used your hand to jerk himself off once, sure he wants your virginity and he has made his intentions clear, but has he ever ventured beneath your clothes before? 
He has never groped your body before, not like Jay is doing. Now that you think about it, heeseung has never even kissed you before. Your mind makes countless comparisons between Heeseung and Jay, and you wonder why you do that to yourself. Were you really comparing the guy whose whole purpose of pursuing you was to pop your cherry and wear it like a symbol of achievement, to the boy that likes you and took you to your dream date? 
A gasp leaves your throat when jay grabs your ass, smacking it and making you yelp between harsh kisses. You're glad you're in his car and not outside, glad that people aren't there to witness you being touched like this.
"You're so pretty" He whispers in your ear, and so you latch onto his words and overlook his actions.
 
Now that you have someone who likes you back, do you really want to push him away? Do you want to let your useless self doubt and trust issues stop you from living your life yet again? No. 
Thus, you push your discomfort to the back of your mind when his hand travels under your skirt at one point. 
"It's normal y/n, don't make a fool of yourself" you chant in your head, trying to enjoy the feeling of being wanted. 
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“We never really talk.... There's so much we still don't know about each other" your voice is meek, feeling hesitant to say your thoughts out loud in case you end up upsetting jay; which you seem to be doing a lot, to be honest. 
The said boy groans from the seat in front of you where he's busy on his phone, completely facing away from you. 
"We know plenty" He quips, not even sparing you a glance, and you bite your lower lip to stop yourself from thinking too much about it. Maybe he just isn't in the mood today? But again, when is he ever in a mood? 
All you do is make out, and when things get heated, you always pull away. Then he gets agitated, and doesn't talk to you for days. It fucks with your head, but you go along, and even though you don't feel comfortable, you start letting him touch you more, and even though your body is taut with tension, he never seems to care. 
You want to tell him about your brother, want to share the little things you do together and the things that make you happy. You want to ask what his favorite color is.
However, the opportunity never seems to come. 
Your mind drifts off to heeseung, and the little notes he used to throw at the back of your head during last semester. 
"Do you like roses or lilies?"
"Do you sleep on your stomach or side? "
"Are you going to the town fair?"
You remember ignoring him back then, but now your heart constricts. Even if he was just trying to bother you, those questions were probably the only time someone had tried to get to know you. You don't know what it is about heeseung, but everybody just looks at you, he's the only one who has ever made you feel seen. Maybe in another universe you would push aside your shyness and answer those notes. Maybe in another universe you would throw some notes back at him, asking things that you wanna know. 
"I like tulips... But lilies are good too"
"I sleep on my back, sleeping in any other position makes me sore, I don't know why tho"
"I'm not going to the town fair, I have to stay home with my brother, he's really small"
But it's too late now, and you swallow down your words, squash the need to talk to someone, and resort to the heavy silence that is your life. 
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Heeseung is about to fly off the handle. The sight of you in another man's arms shouldn't bother him this much and yet, it does. The fact that you're ignoring his calls and messages makes him feel slightly insane. It shouldn't be like this. You are just a bet. A pick. Just another name on the list. 
Then why the fuck is he this close to smashing jay's annoying face in. It isn't even about your virginity anymore, and that's what bothers him the most. 
He hates it, hates that he's so affected by you, but he should have seen it coming,to be honest. With the way he stays up late just to jerk off to your pretty face, no girl has ever drove him this close to insanity before. The lust he feels for you is blinding and all consuming. It burns him, the desire he feels for you scorches him from the inside. It unsettles him how badly you’ve managed to turn him into a slave to your big, doe eyes.
Therefore, when he catches you alone in the classroom after three whole weeks of you ignoring his presence, he just can't help himself. It’s unfair how fucking pretty you look standing near the white board, scribbling something down onto your notebook while trying to setup the projector for your presentation later.
The sound of the classroom door being shut makes you jump, but the reason makes cold dread run inside your chest. Heeseung looks like a predator as he advances on your figure, eyes dark in lust and the vein in his neck throbbing with anger. His hands itch with the desire to touch you, it's been way too long for his liking since he last felt you close. 
Before you can say anything or do anything, he's on you. The feeling of his lips against yours is electrifying,it feels like your entire body comes alive at the contact. His kiss is surprisingly slow and more bruising than you've ever been kissed before. His hands wrap around your waist and he pulls you closer to himself, tilting his head to trace your lower lip with his tongue, waiting for you to let him in. 
You should push him away but you don't. You can't. Your head is dizzy with a passion you've only ever felt with him, your arms wrapping around his neck as you push yourself closer to his firm body, opening your mouth and letting him tangle his tongue with yours. The moan that leaves your mouth at the feeling makes his slacks tighten, his dick hard and throbbing inside his trousers. 
You taste so fucking addicting, Heeseung doesn't wanna stop kissing and tasting your warm mouth. 
When he pulls away to breathe, you're both panting heavily, his forehead resting against yours, dark eyes staring into your soul. 
"I don't like when someone ignores me y/n" He growls, his voice sharp and hoarse from desire. The feeling of his hard on digging into your stomach makes you squirm. 
"I - I have a boyfriend, I shouldn't be talking to you" You manage to let out, biting back another moan when he grinds a bit into you. 
Heeseung feels hot rage flash across his chest at your words. 
"Oh yeah? He got his dick inside you yet?" He asks, his words making you blanch. How was he always so vulgar?
 
"That's, that's none of your business" You splutter, looking anywhere but his eyes. 
His hold tightens around your waist and he continues to grind his hard on against your soft flesh.
 
"I'll take that as a no, fuck, still a virgin aren't you baby?" he guesses.
You avoid looking at him and it only spurs him on further, his hold tightens around your body the more that you try to maintain some space.
"What a loser, if I was him, I would have buried myself into that tight little cunt of yours on the first night of our date" He whispers, and for some reason, his words excite you instead of disgusting you. A sick tingle runs down your spine and throbs between your legs.
"H-he's not like you" You quip, looking up into his eyes to get your point across "he doesn't want me for my body, he loves me for me"
Your words seem to make him angry, if the slight clench of his jaw is anything to go by. 
He stops moving against you and scoffs. 
"Loves you? What do you know about being loved y/n? " 
His tone is mocking, and eyes full of unfiltered rage, the words spoken with an intention to hurt. And hurt, they do. You wonder how he knows the exact place to strike to make pain ricochet so wildly inside your ribs. 
What do you know about being loved? Nothing, you suppose. How do you recognize love if you have never seen it before? or do you just accept everything that comes to you as love because you don't have any option to? do you just cling onto every act of kindness because of how much you want it to be love? 
What do you know about being loved indeed. 
Seeing your face fall makes heeseung regret his words almost instantly, the sight of your big eyes blinking up at him so solemnly makes his heart twist uncomfortably. What the fuck? 
Before he can apologize, however, your small hands slide down to push against his chest, and he lets you go. He doesn't stop you when you collect your assignment that you'd been working on when he barged in, your gaze downcast and shoulders slumped as if heavy from the weight of his words. 
The urge to pull you into his arms hits him as he watches you leave, but he's too much of a coward for that.
Because no matter how much he wants himself to believe it, 
You aren't just a name on the list, you never have been.
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The atmosphere feels different today. You took a day off from college just to spend time with Jay, and although it makes you feel guilty that you left jihoon with suzy for the entire day, you can't help but be selfish for once. 
All of this feels like a fever dream and you want to enjoy it before your alarm rings and you’re thrust back into the harsh reality once again.
Jay took you back to the aquarium, then you both went to the beach that his dad owned, and you were having so much fun that you just couldn't say no when he asked you to stay the night at his place. "No funny business" He assured. 
But that didn't last long. 
You whined into his mouth as his rough palms travelled beneath your silky sundress, sundress that he bought for you. "The yellow really suits your skin, wanna kiss you stupid" He had said, leaving you a flustered mess. 
"I'm gonna take this off baby" Jay whispers into your mouth, sitting back up and sliding your dress up your legs without waiting for your answer. 
You squirm in anxiety and embarrassment when he exposes your panties to his curious eyes. You want to cover yourself, you want to hide, but his firm hold on your waist keeps you down and under his mercy. 
He slides your dress further up your stomach and then it happens. Your worst nightmare comes true. His eye brows furrow and you watch in dread as his entire face shuts down. 
"Let's turn the lights off" He says, and you don't know what's worse, the way he eyes your body in distaste , or the way he pulls your dress down to cover you up. 
"Why? " You manage to ask, swallowing the lump forming in your throat. You know why, you just want to hear it. You want to hear him say it so that your illusion can shatter once and for all. 
Jay looks away and sighs, his jaw ticking in frustration "because that's how I like to have sex" He replies, his tone smooth, but you are anything but stupid. 
You sit up and bite on your wobbly lower lip, smoothing down your dress on your thighs with shaky hands.
 
"You don’t like what you saw" You whisper, barely audible, but he hears you alright. His nostrils flare as he finally turns to face you, looking angry and terrifying. 
"Do you have to be so damn difficult all the fucking time you stupid bitch? I'm trying not to be mean but you wanna hear how much your body's turning me off to your face? " He grits, hands coming down to grab your thighs and spreading your legs open. A sob escapes your lips at his words and you hit his chest to push him away
"I w-want to go home" You cry, sobbing more when he grunts in anger and slaps your face, pinning you down by your throat while he pushes you down onto your back, and straddles your thighs. 
"Wasted so much of my fucking time on you, and now you want to go home? Right when I'm this close to being the first one who's gonna scratch your name off the list? "
Your heart stops at the implication of his words, pure disgust and terror runs through your veins.Your eyes fill up with more tears and you start using your full body strength, squirming and flailing, somehow managing to hit him in the shins with your knee. He howls in pain and rolls off of you , cussing you out.
"Fucking bitch" He growls, but you don't stay or look back, grabbing your phone and running as fast as you can. You hear his footsteps chasing you, but the adrenaline pushes you forward even though your vision is blurry with how much you're crying.
How you managed to open his house's main gate is beyond you, but once you are out in the open, the night air hitting your wet cheeks, that's when you come to a halt. You don't know how far or how long you ran, you don't see any people around, just luxurious houses standing tall, and it makes you sob more. You don't see Jay chasing you down the road so that calms your heart a little, but soon, the gravity of your situation sinks in. You almost got raped. 
The thought makes your knees wobble and you unceremoniously collapse onto the sidewalk, your back resting against a cold metal pole. Your hands shake and sobs wrack your entire body, feeling intense pain coursing through your bones. 
You were jay's pick too. How could you have been so blind to the signs? Him approaching you out of the blue, just a few weeks after the list got released . if you weren't blinded by your stupid feelings, you would have seen it as clear as day. He wanted your virginity. Just like Heeseung. 
He didn't like you as you had deluded yourself into thinking.
The disgust on his face when he saw the stretch marks littering the lining of your stomach, it was so palpable it made you flinch.
 
Was he going to fuck you just for the sake of winning the game? Is your virginity really all that? But who are you kidding, all this time, you have held onto your virginity so desperately because you know that it's the only thing that makes you desirable, doesn't it? It's the only reason Heeseung wants you, it's the only reason Jay pursued you, what even are you without your virginity? Once you lose it, you'll fade into the background again. 
No more delusions. Just plain, cruel reality. 
The hurt you feel is something that you brought upon yourself. Did you not know yourself? How could you ever, even for a second, expect someone to love this version of you? When even you can't look at your body without disgust, why did you expect Jay to? 
As your sobs quite down and turn into small sniffles, you dial Heeseung's number and let your phone ring. This is it, you think to yourself, heart oddly calm when he picks up on the second ring. 
"Hey sweetheart, this is the first time you have called me on y-
"Do you still want to fuck me? " You ask, your voice hoarse and monotonous. 
You hear a sudden clatter of something falling down on the other end of the line, like he dropped something, taken off guard by the suddenness of your question. 
"I-yeah-i mean what? are you okay baby? " He splutters, and your head throbs, you look around yourself and don't even recognize where you are.
 
"can you pick me up? I know it's late, but i think I'm lost, you can fuck me as payment, I'm still a virgin" You explain. And somehow, hearing you talk about yourself like a commodity rubs Heeseung the wrong way. What's going on with you? You don't even sound like the y/n he knows.
 
"Where are you baby? " He asks, and if you didn't know any better, you would say that he sounds concerned. 
"I don't know.. there's a beach nearby.... and the area looks expensive, but i can't tell what street-
"send me your location from the maps baby, I'll be right there, just stay where you are " He warns before hanging up. 
You want to smack your head against concrete, so much for being an academic weapon, why didn't you think about sharing your location before. 
You rub your bare arms to keep yourself warm. Apparently, the dress isn't as warm against the night cold as it seemed to be inside the warmth of the house. 
Somehow, this decision feels right. Heeseung has been the only person who has been honest about his intentions with you from the very beginning. Although it was the exact same thing that Jay wanted, but still, it feels right to let Heeseung take your virginity instead of anybody else. You want this miserable fallacy of want and desire to end. And for that, you are going to give away the only thing that makes you special. Sounds like a perfect plan to you. 
After what seems like an eternity, a blue Toyota stops right in front of you. 
You don't even glance at it twice, just staring blankly at your feet, until you hear the driver's door open, and shoes come into your line of vision. You don't even have a chance to look up before heeseung's gathering you into his arms
"Holy fuck you're freezing baby" He exclaims, picking up your numb body as you cling onto him for life, you can barely feel your legs. Heeseung lays you down in the back seat, and instantly turns the heater on. A cold shiver runs up your spine at the sudden temperature change, your eyes falling shut on their own, and everything around you fades into darkness. You want to sleep a very long sleep. 
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Heeseung looks at your body in his back seat, anxiety coiling in his stomach at the sight of you being curled up into a fetus position. Even as he drives, he can't concentrate on anything else, because he's pretty sure he saw a red mark on your left cheek, like someone hit you. Hard. 
He's hoping he's wrong, because the rage building up in his chest is inexplicable.
There's dry mascara tracks running down your cheeks so he figures that you must have been crying, and he can't help the sick jolt he feels in his cock at the thought. 
The yellow dress you're wearing is riding all the way upto your thighs, and Heeseung can feel his throat getting parched. So much skin. He's never seen you this exposed before. He wants to touch you, wants to run his palm over your smooth skin and kiss you till you're moaning into his mouth , and he wants to take you up on that offer you made on the phone, he wants to see for himself how pretty you look while crying. 
He curses himself for having such thoughts when you're clearly not okay, but Heeseung's no saint. He’s never claimed to be one either. 
He knows that if you asked him to take your virginity to his face, he will ravage you on the spot, it won't matter that you seem to be in pain. He'll make you forget everything and fill you with pure pleasure the entire night. 
He's not a man of morals, and he's never pretended to be one. 
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You wake up with a start, breathing heavily while your eyes adjust to the view around you. The unfamiliar soft sheets, the tasteful and expensive decor of the room, it all intimidated you somehow. You called heeseung, that's all that you remember, everything after that is a blur. Is this jay's room? Did he find you again? 
Your heart's beating really fast, threatening to give up on you as you look down and see yourself in a white linen shirt instead of the dress that you were wearing instead. What the fuck happened. 
You instinctively reach between your legs and it doesn't hurt, your panties are dry and intact. So, this isn't jay's house or clothes. The familiar cologne fills up your senses once you take a whiff of the shirt you're wearing, and it all makes sense. Heeseung. 
This is heeseung's house, and his room probably, definitely his shirt. Did he change you out of your dress? Was he as disgusted as jay when he saw the mess that you were underneath your clothes?
You look around yourself and sigh in relief at finding your phone on the bedside table, exhaling the breath that you didn't know you have been holding. 
Before you can reach for it tho, the door to the room opens. You pull the sheets closer to your chest when Heeseung peeks in. He seems a little taken aback at seeing you awake and sitting up , looking like he caught you in the middle of doing something. 
"Thank god you're up baby, thought you’d die on me" He grins, coming inside and closing the door behind him. Suddenly, the room feels small for just the two of you, your fingers wringing nervously when he takes a seat next to you, his hands coming up to cup your cheeks. 
You bite back a pained whimper at the pressure against your left cheek, Jay must have hit you really hard, the skin still sensitive and stinging at the slightest of touch. Heeseung seems to notice your discomfort and removes that hand instantly, choosing to caress the other side of your face instead. 
"I need to know that you're okay sweetheart" He says, urging you to speak. But you don't know what you're supposed to say, you aren't okay, obviously, but this is better than everything else so you suppose you are. You choose to nod instead. 
He hums and slides more closer to you, forcing you to look into his eyes, his face so close that if you leaned forward just a bit, your lips would collide. 
"Do you want to tell me what happened? Who did this to you?" He asks, and you are taken aback by the softness in his touch and words. But you'd be a fool if you fall for that again. 
Hence, you take hold of his free hand instead, watching how his eyes immediately fall to your tight grip, watching in rapt attention as you guide his hand under your shirt, and between your legs. Heeseung's eyes instantly darken when his hand comes into contact with your panty clad pussy, a few choice words leaving his mouth when you gasp at his touch. 
Fuck. He likes this bold version of you. 
His eyes meet yours, and hot arousal pools in his lower stomach at the way you're looking at him, eyes blown out in lust and desperation.
"It doesn't matter" You whisper, inching closer to his face, and planting a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth "just want you to fuck me and show me how good sex can feel" 
A deep grunt leaves his chest at your words, and the next thing you know, his hungry mouth is latched on yours, the force of his actions making you hit your back against the bed sheets while he mounts your body, his palm still cupping the centre of your legs. He kisses you like he's been deprived of you for so long. All thoughts of your well being leave his mind, focus locked onto the sinful words you just whispered into his ear. His tongue dives into your mouth and you give him free access, both of you exchanging spit messily. You mewl into his kiss, your body squirming pathetically when he starts rubbing your clit from above your panties, applying just the right amount of pleasure to leave you gasping. 
You're just about to thread your fingers in his silky strands when the familiar ringtone of your phone makes you jolt. He ignores the sound like he can't even hear it, tongue too busy sucking yours, the movement of his thumb getting faster and harder. 
You can't ignore the sound tho, there aren't many people who call you. So, when your phone rings for the second time, you know it's important. You push against his chest, and he pulls away, panting heavily while he stares at you, brows furrowed in confusion. 
You swallow the spit pooling in your mouth as you watch him gathering your saliva coating his lips and sucking it into his own. How does he make everything seem so hot and nasty?
"Sorry, i- i have to take that" you whisper, motioning towards your blaring phone. Heeseung grabs it from the nightstand and hands it over to you instantly "make it fast baby" He grunts, retreating his hand from between your legs and settling on groping the soft flesh of your thighs instead. 
You nod, and curse when you see Suzy's name. Fuck. Fuck. You never thought about informing her of your whereabouts. She must have been waiting for you. Jihoon must be waiting for you. With an apology on the top of your tongue, you swipe right.
"Hey suzy, I'm sorr-
"Y/n, your dad is back and you need to come back right now" Her terrified voice cuts you off. Panic takes hold of your spine, and you instinctively get out of the bed, standing up to calm down your heart. You can feel heeseung's inquisitive gaze on you, but you can't be bothered with keeping up appearances right now. 
"What do u mean? Why do u sound scared?" You ask her, tears gathering at your waterline, because as much as you want to stay calm, the terror grips hold of your heart. It’s never good when your dad is back.
There's some shuffling on the other side, and your heart drops when you recognize jihoon's sobs, and Suzy's coos trying to shush him down. 
"What's going on?!" you can't help but raise your voice, even though it quivers. 
"Listen y/n, I think he came back a few hours ago, but when he didn't find you at home he came banging on my door, asking me where you were. And he was drunk out of his mind, but he heard jihoon's voice and now he is not leaving. He keeps banging on the windows, and asking for his son, I don't know what to do. I kept calling you, and you didn't pick up. I'm going to call the police, but jihoon is not my child y/n, you have to come back right now" More shuffling, and a loud thudding sound cuts the call off, making your heart beat out of your chest. 
"Suzy??, suzy?!" No response. You look around in panic, meeting Heeseung's worried eyes. 
"Pants, can you lend me some pants please" you ask him, tears dripping down your face. You're panicking so hard right now, your fingers feel numb. Heeseung scrambles to his feet immediately, and noticing your shaking hands, he helps you inside them himself, folding them so they don’t restrict your movement. 
"Thank you, can you- you fret- can you please, please drop me to my house. I know I promised I'd let you fuck me but I really need-
His soft lips interrupt your rant while he kisses you tenderly and cups your face, wiping your tears with the pads of his thumbs "address, baby" 
And this time, you tell him your real one. 
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You keep dialing Suzy's number the entire ride home but she doesn't pick up. If Heeseung hears you quietly sobbing, he doesn't mention it. You guide him to your house, and are thankful for the distraction his fingers provide as he draws random patterns on your thigh with his free hand.
You don't believe in God, you never have, but somehow , in this moment, you pray to whatever power is out there, if there is any, to keep your brother safe. You don't care about anything else. Just keep your little love safe.
Heeseung doesn't make small talk, doesn't ask questions, and you find that so comforting, it makes you wanna sob your heart out in his car. 
The way he doesn’t look even slightly disgruntled by the state of your house or your neighborhood makes you want to tell him all about that you've been going through while he says nothing at all. It's been so long since someone listened to you, you know, just for the sake of listening, to take some burden off of your heavy heart. 
You don't question it when heeseung gets out of his car with you, letting him follow you to Suzy's house. You don't even trust heeseung like that, but knowing that he's right behind gives you a silent strength.
Your dad's slumped on the front porch, one baseball bat clutched in one hand, and rubbing his face with the other. To say that he disgusts you, would be an understatement. How could you have ever loved this man? You haven't seen your father in so long, he got lost behind the violent person with red raging eyes a very long time ago. This man in front of you isn't your dad. 
His bleary eyes fall on you, and he instantly stumbles onto his feet, pointing the bat at you. 
"Where have you been you little whore" He hisses, his red eyes looking at you in pure hatred. 
"What do you want dad?" You ask, fighting away any shakiness that manages to creeps into your words. Your heart is beating fast, you need to make sure that jihoon is safe, but the lack of noise from inside the house scares you. 
"Where's my money?" He demands gruffly, taking a few steps towards you. You don't stumble back like you usually do, trying to hold your ground. 
"There's no money dad, there's nothing for you here" You quip. Your words seem to anger him more, his nostrils flare, and he points the bat at the house "bring that little bitch out, I know you're hiding him inside, if you won't make me money, he will" He spits, and you can't believe your ears, hot tears dribble down your cheeks, blurring your vision of him.
 
"What the fuck is wrong with you?? Have you got no amount of shame left in you? "
A yelp resounds from your throat when your father grabs hold of your wrist all of a sudden, pulling you close, boring his threatening eyes into yours. You wince at the smell of alcohol on his breath. 
"The fuck did you just say to me you little slut- he twists your arm, making you cry out in pain, you try pulling yourself away but he only tightens his hold on your arm- do u want me to break your ribs like I did with your whore moth- it all happens so fast, the grip on your arm loosens, a scream rips through the air, your dad falls to the ground. And then there's silence. 
You stare in disbelief at the boy straddling over your dad's unconscious body, wiping his bloody knuckles on his jeans. He punches your dad's face twice more, then kicks him to roll him over while he stands back up. 
At that point he turns to you, and you start sobbing. Heeseung is about to open his mouth to apologize for punching your dad unconscious, panicking that he did something wrong when you're pulling him into you, smashing your lips against his, kissing him with all that you've got. 
Heeseung is taken aback, his eyes widening when your taste invades his mouth, but he recovers almost instantly and pulls you close to his body, kissing you back just as hard. The kiss is wet and salty because of how much you're crying, but he couldn't care less.
 
You're both breathing heavily when you pull apart, eyes widening when you hear Suzy's door click open. Jihoon! 
You leave Heeseung standing on the porch, running to suzy when she comes outside "jihoon?" you question, your voice out of breath. 
She glances at Heeseung, and then at your dad, before looking back at you.
"He fell asleep while crying, I think he got one of his seizures y/n, all the shouting really scared him" she explains, and you cup your mouth, more tears prick your eyes, feeling your heart break all over again. 
It's been years since your brother got his last seizure attack because of trauma triggers. You have managed to keep him away from all his triggers, except this time. All because you were selfish, and wanted to stay the night away. Your life has to be one long, never ending sick joke. 
"where's he?" you ask, your voice feeble, you're afraid you'll start screaming if you aren't careful. 
"In the spare bedroom, go, I'll take care of him" She says, motioning towards your dad. 
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The time span between carrying your brother home to tuck his sleeping figure inside his buzz Light year sheets, while suzy takes care of informing the police and calling the ambulance for your unconscious, and injured dad is a blur for you. 
Heeseung doesn't get in trouble because you vouch for the attack being in self defense, your dad's history of abuse and drinking helps your case. 
After all cars are gone, and you finally breathe a sigh of relief, you realize that Heeseung is still here. Your heart feels full when you look at his unruly appearance, and you don't want to admit the yearning you feel for him right at this moment. He's the first person besides suzy to witness the shit show that is your life, and you wonder why isn't gone yet. 
And then you remember. Right, your virginity. How can you forget. 
You find him leaning against your kitchen counter, hands in pocket as he waits for you. He looks so out of place standing in your small kitchen, the light bulb swinging above his head makes his skin glow, and you can't help but be attracted towards him like a moth drawn to the flame. His eyes find yours as soon as you round the corner to your kitchen, and they stay. This look is different.
He's looking at you like he's seeing you for the first time. 
You take tentative steps towards his figure, fiddling with the long sleeves of his shirt that you're wearing. You don't even get to open your mouth before he's pulling you closer to him, his one hand wrapping around your waist while he cups your cheek with the other, swallowing the gasp that escapes your lips at the sudden touch. 
He kisses you like you're the air that he breathes, his tongue dipping and tasting all crevices of your warm mouth. You fist the shirt on his chest, and tilt your head to deepen the kiss, whining into his famished mouth. 
The kiss is everything you've ever wanted. It's not rushed, but it's needy. The passion dripping from his lips renders you boneless, and you lean further into him. The exhaustion seeping inside your bones seems to get heavy with each languid stroke of his tongue, and you don't realize when the tears start falling down your cheeks. He doesn't pull back tho, just trails his kisses upto your face, swallowing your tears as he pulls you flush to his body, dissipating any ounce of space that was left between you two. 
When you pull apart, your mouths are connected by a string of saliva, hot pants escaping your chests. He rests his forehead against yours, and caresses your face by the back of his hand, cooing when you bite your lower lip to stop the tears from falling again. 
You're exhausted. You're dead tired and his touch seems to be your undoing, setting all your emotions free, the severity of all the events that happened in the last twelve hours hitting you all at once. 
"Let me fuck your pain away, baby" He whispers, and in that moment, you can't seem to resist falling into the familiar comfort of delusion. You know that once you let him fuck you, he'll lose interest, but you need it now. You want to bask in his affection and call it love. You want to experience feeling loved and wanted before it's inevitably snatched away from you. 
"fuck me" you whisper back, wrapping your arms around his shoulders when he groans and leans into your mouth again. Heeseung feels like a fucking jerk, but seeing you so helpless, and in dire need of his touch makes him delirious.
 
This is a new feeling. This desire to be needed by you.
He would not admit it to you, but he relishes in the fact that you're alone, and in so much pain. It makes it easier for him to show you how much you need him. He wants you to keep him, crave him like he does you. 
You gasp into his mouth when he hoists you up into his arms, your tiny figure melting into his touch. He loves it, loves how easy you are. 
He might be taking advantage of your pain and vulnerability, but he only wants you to want him just as badly as every bone in his body wants you. 
Your back hits the couch, and you stare up at him with wide eyes as he hovers over you, a lustful glint in them that drives him nuts. Your hands bunch up the shirt on his chest, and you pull him back into you again, not getting enough of his lips on yours. 
You love how dizzy his touches are making you, your body arching into him when he gropes your curves, his hands all over you.
"Wanna see you naked" He whispers, and your heart plummets into your stomach. A sinking feeling beginning to form a pit inside your chest. No, it can't be happening again. 
He must see the hesitance on your face, because he's caressing your cheek again, so softly and so gently, you almost mistake it for genuine care, but you know better. 
"What is it?" He asks, planting few pecks on your pouty and swollen lips. 
You twiddle with the button of his shirt, and avoid eye contact. 
"C-can we turn the lights off? looking at me might turn you off" you manage to mumble, the words burning your throat on their way out .However, you're done lying to yourself. 
Heeseung doesn't say anything, and you peek up to see his face. He is looking at you like you've grown two heads. It makes you feel self conscious, your ears burning in humiliation, feeling like you ruined the mood already. 
"You're beautiful" He blurts, eyes still fixed on you in disbelief, he can't fathom you thinking such a thing about yourself. Him? Getting turned off by you? He has not heard a more ridiculous thing in his life before.
Your eyes snap up to him at his words and you furrow your brows in irritation.
"You don't have to lie to get inside my pants I al-"
"I've jerked off to your face" He cuts you off. Your mouth splutters like a fish as you blink up at him, trying to process his words. 
He's still staring at you, eyes dark and deep.
"Jerked off just to your face. Not even your body. you're so beautiful I get hard by the mere thought of you" 
You don't know whether to laugh or cry. Only Heeseung can say such things and make them feel like a compliment. You can't help the giggle that escapes your lips, and you hide your face into your hands.
"God, you're unbelievable" you groan between your giggles, unknown to the fact that heeseung's currently losing his damn mind on top of you. In that moment he realises, that he's never made you laugh before. You have never looked up at him and giggled before. The sound shoots straight to his hardening cock and spreads a warm feeling inside of his chest. He can't believe how overwhelming this sudden emotion is, and he isn’t sure where this sudden influx of affection for you is coming from. However, there’s one thing heeseung’s sure about, and it’s the fact that he loves this sight more than he loves to see you crying. And that's saying a lot. 
He swallows thickly when you remove your hands from in front of your face, and smile up at him, chewing on your lower lip as the blush on your cheeks darkens
"This might be most romantic thing someone has ever said to me" you whisper, wrapping your arms around his neck again. 
Heeseung leans down to press soft kisses to your jaw, preventing you from seeing the softness in his eyes. He trails his kisses down towards your neck, loving the way your breath hitches. 
"Do you wanna hear the other romantic things I have to say about you?" He asks, mouthing at your collarbone, and you whine when he digs his teeth into your soft skin. 
"Y-yeah" you mewl, your body squirming as he squeezes your ass in one hand while he supports himself over you with the other. 
His hand travels inside your (his) shirt, touching your skin, caressing it. You bite on your lower lip, eyes fluttering when he reaches your bra covered breasts. Your nipples are already hard and pebbled, and you moan loudly when he pinches them. 
"fuck" He groans, your erotic sounds making him leak inside his jeans. 
He mouths hotly at the hollow of your neck, and squeezes your boobs harshly, making you cry out again. Fuck, he loves playing with your body like this. 
You tangle your fingers inside his hairs, your toes curling at the attention he's giving to your chest. 
Heeseung sits up to unbutton your shirt, manhandling your body to take it off of you in a lust driven frenzy. As soon as it’s off of your body, he instantly goes back to squeezing your soft flesh again, watching with dark eyes how your soft skin turns red in his hold.
"Ah-heeseung" you whimper, feeling exposed at how he greedily drinks in your uncovered skin. 
He unbuttons your (his) jeans, and slides them off of your legs in one go, discarding them on the floor. He bites his lower lip, his eyes running across your uncovered body, and he can feel how hard and heavy he is inside his jeans. He fights the urge to squeeze his junk when you bite on your finger, doe eyes staring up at him, your body squirming as he gropes you. 
You're so naively sexy, your innocence drives him batshit insane. 
"I almost jerked off to you while changing your clothes you know? you just looked too fucking sexy to resist" He grunts, his fingers running over your stretch marks. Before you have a chance to feel self conscious about the fact that he's seen your body before, or feel apprehensive about his touch on your stretch marks, he leans down to kiss them. You gasp when he runs his hot tongue over them, kissing and licking like he can't help it. He traces your panty line with the tip of his tongue, hands groping your thighs mercilessly.
He's so close to your pussy, and your face burns.
 
"H-heeseung" You squeak out, and the boy instantly climbs up your body to come face to face with you, pecking you softly as he hums. 
"I-i haven't shaved" you tell him shyly, your ears heating up in embarrassment. But you need to tell him now before he recoils in disgust later. 
What you don't expect is the way he chuckles, leaning down to nibble on your cheek while his hand cups your breast again, squeezing and groping. 
"you worry about the things that don't even cross my mind baby- he pecks your nose and stares into your eyes- you think I'll care about some hairs when your warm pussy is right there? that I'll be able to think about anything other than sucking and fucking when my dick's about to fall off?"
Your face is so hot you can feel the heat radiating off of you. Though his words are vulgar, and so obscene, they do placate your worries for a bit. 
Keyword : a bit.
You're still apprehensive about him being down there. What if you smell bad? and taste even worse? 
You gasp when he roughly pulls your boobs out of your bra cups, and takes one in his wet mouth. You tug on his hairs, and moan when he bites your nipple too harshly, the sensation making you arch your back into his mouth. 
You don't notice when his hand travels between your legs, but a deep whine falls from your lips when he runs a finger over your panty clad slit. 
"you're fucking dripping baby" He groans into your flesh that he still has in his mouth, sucking and biting both of your boobs till they sting. 
You try to close your thighs around his hand but he tsks in faux disappointment, and parts them again, trailing his kisses down towards your centre, leaving no portion of your skin unmarked. 
He kisses your pussy from above your panties, slurpimg your wetness through the sheer material, burying his nose into your slit.
"fuck baby, taste so good" he groans, rubbing his nose in your wetness, tracing the outline of your pussy with his mouth. You bite your finger, and squirm in his touch, feeling yourself dripping more. 
He trails his kisses down to your inner thighs, making you squeal when he digs his teeth into your sensitive flesh. He chuckles into your skin, and does the same to your other thigh. He seems to be enjoying this more than you are. He leaves more bites marks up your leg before burying his face between your legs again, making your thighs close around his head. 
The action makes something in him snap, and heeseung sits up on his hunches, stares straight into your eyes while he licks his lips for your juices, and starts sliding your panties down your smooth legs.
“want you in my mouth before we fuck”
Your breath hitches when his heavy lidded eyes snap down to your nakedness, and he closes his eyes to groan. 
"shit" He curses, parts your legs open, and dives straight between your legs, not even bothering to take off your panties all the way off as it hangs on your ankle obscenely. He sucks your sensitive clit into his mouth,and you moan so loudly it has you slapping your palm over your own. The overwhelming sensation makes your eyes roll back, only ever feeling your own fingers down there, it's a heady feeling to feel someone else.
 
You tangle your fingers in his hairs, tugging harshly when he slurps your wetness, parting your pussy open with his fingers,and thrusting his tongue inside your virgin hole,running it all over your vulva like a starved man.
 
You thrash in his hold, a shiver running down your spine when his nose bumps your clit, and he starts applying pressure, rubbing it back and forth. The obscene squelch that you can hear from between your legs has your face burning, you can't believe how wet you are. You aren't ready for the sudden feeling of his finger sliding inside your pussy, and you scream. Heeseung looks up at you from between your legs, and increases his movement, eyes dark as they watch you lose yourself to pleasure. 
"How does that feel? " He asks, voice so deep it makes your pussy throb. 
You moan, and nod your head rapidly "s-so good" you whimper when he dives down to suck on your clit again. The combined feeling of his fingers and mouth pushes you closer to your orgasm. 
"Yeah baby? Your pussy's so tight, can't wait to get in there, wanna feel good too" He groans, thrusting a second finger inside your warm cavity, and probing inside your gummy walls in come hither motion that makes you mewl. 
"So wet" He mumbles, licking into your pussy again. And God do you taste addicting, heeseung can spend the whole day buried in between your legs if you would give him a chance. The way your walls flutter around his fingers has him leaking copious amount of precum in his jeans, and he has never been so turned on before. 
"pleasee" You moan, and he's crawling up to you again, his lips capturing yours and you can taste yourself on his tongue. He fucks you with his fingers rapidly, lust filled eyes watching in rapt attention at how your eyes flutter shut, and your body arches into him, so ready to getting lost in pleasure. 
He curses under his breath as he watches how you grind your hips on his fingers, trying to chase the pleasure they’re giving you
"yeah? Gonna cum and make a mess baby? " He asks into your mouth, swallowing your moan, and licking the drool escaping your lips. 
You nod your head and dig your nails into his neck, holding onto him for your life. Heeseung ruts his hard on against your thigh as he watches you come undone on his fingers alone, moaning his name unintelligibly. Watching you cum is the hottest thing he’s ever seen, he decides.
"Cum on me, make yourself feel good" he sighs, the pleasure filled expression on your face has him close to cumming untouched. You gyrate your hips while his fingers get covered in your juices, drenching his palm as he helps you ride out your orgasm. You sigh out in relief, coming down from your high, your hold loosens on his neck and you squirm while you watch him sucking his fingers, tasting your juices. It's so hot, you don't even realize when you lean in. His lips meet yours and you moan upon tasting your cum, sucking on his tongue like he sucks yours. 
"Made you feel so good yeah?" He asks, his voice hoarse in desire, and you nod, pushing yourself into him again. He wraps his arms around your body, and unhooks your bra, finally taking it off of your body, and discarding it somewhere. 
"My turn" He grunts. 
You rub your thighs together while he unbuckles his belt, ogling your naked body like a pervert. Your eyes widen when he pulls his boxers down unceremoniously, just enough to let his dick flop out. 
It's bigger in person,even bigger than you remember while touching him and you whine. There's no way that can fit inside you. His eyes darken as he strokes his cock, fisting it to the sight of your naked body lying so helplessly, ready for the taking. And God does he want to take you. 
If you weren't a virgin, he would have been pounding your hole by now, but as much as he's impatient, he wants to make this experience good for you too.
You're sucking on your finger again, your eyes fixed on how he moves his palm up and down his shaft, the real life version makes you drip more than the video he sent did. 
Heeseung hovers over your body again, and grabs your hand, pulling out your finger from your mouth. "No hiding your sounds from me, wanna hear you loud and clear while I fuck you stupid" He growls, and you squirm under his gaze. 
You yelp when you feel him running his dickhead against your slick pussy, wetting it in your juices for a smooth slide. You dig your nails into his shoulders, staring up at him with your big doe eyes as you utter the words which make Heeseung finally snap.
"p-please don't make it hurt" your voice is the sweetest thing he's ever heard, and God, does he want to hurt you. He wants to roughly push himself inside till there's nothing but tears of pain and pleasure running down your pretty face. He wants to make you scream, and show you how pain only heightens the pleasure. 
You're so naive, looking up at him, trusting him, but heeseung is lost in his dark desires and pushes in without a warning. You turn him on so badly.  You scream at the way his length bullies itself inside your tight hole, scraping against your walls and your body feels like it's being split in half. Tears blur your vision and you push against his chest, sobbing through the pain that makes you want to run away. It's too much. 
"h-hurts please-oh-" his hips push inside and then he's balls deep into you, groaning in satisfaction while you scream again. The feeling of your hymen tearing apart makes you sob uncontrollably, and you try to angle your hips away from him. He doesn’t fit, he’s gonna tear you apart.
Heeseung holds your hips in his bruising grip, and starts moving in and out. He's too damn turned on to think about anything else other than how good your virgin pussy feels around his dick.  "Stay still baby, let me feel good" He grunts, pulling out of your hole to the hilt, and then pushing inside again. In and out. In and out. His hot pants fall onto your wet cheeks. Heeseung reaches down to rub on your clit, relishing in the wet warmth of your pussy. It feels more pleasurable for him when you start getting impossibly wet.   Soon enough, Your pain filled sobs start to subside, and pleasure filled sobs start to leave your lips instead. 
That's when he starts fucking in earnest. Once he hears you moan in pleasure, heeseung lets go of all his inhibitions, and straight up pounds into you. 
"Fuck yeah baby, so fucking tight for me" he groans, snapping his hips against you at a rapid pace. His balls smack against your ass every time he pushes in, and the skin slapping sounds make your head throb in pleasure.
You didn't know sex could feel so good.   "Heeseung please, oh my god" You moan when his dick rubs against your sweet spot, his hot pants fall on your mouth while he slots his lips against yours in imitation of a kiss
"Yeah? Just like that?" He asks, his own eyes rolling back when you clench around him. So deliciously tight.
The slide inside is so deep and so wet, it makes his hips pick up speed. 
"Warm little cunt, waited so long to get inside" he groans, biting on your lower lip, and grinding his pelvis against yours. 
The sheer ecstasy running through your veins at the way his cock makes out with your cervix, makes you thrust up your hips against him. You buck into his hold, pressing your body closer, rubbing your chest against his clothed one. It's then that you realize that he's still wearing clothes. 
Heeseung curses under his breath when you whine and tug at his shirt.
"You wanna feel me naked baby?" he asks, running his hands over your curves as he pounds into your warm hole. It's too good to stop. 
You nod and tug on his shirt again, trying to get closer to him.
"Fuck" Heeseung mutters, and sits back on his hunches, his hips still grind into you while he strips himself off of his clothes. He pulls himself out of you for a split second to discard his jeans and boxers on the floor, then he's thrusting into you again. 
"This is so much fucking better" He moans, loving how your naked body arches into his own, rubbing yourself against him so desperately. The delicious friction of your grinding sexes makes you both delirious in pleasure. Heeseung digs his fingers into the fat of your waist, and buries his face inside the crook of your neck, kissing and moaning along it while his thrusts become merciless. You dig your nails into his shoulders, and throw your head back, exposing more skin for him to dig his teeth into.  The obscene way your naked bodies buck and thrust against each other to reach pleasure high is a sight to behold. The skin slapping, and wet squelching sounds fill up the space between your heated bodies, and you never want this feeling to stop. 
"tight fucking cunt, so good, wanna keep fucking till my dick aches" His filthy words travel deep inside your core, and warmth spreads inside your womb, the knot starting to form in your stomach. 
"oh my god" You moan when he slows his hips into a slow grind, hitting all the right spots inside your swollen pussy. 
"Yeah? fuck yourself on my dick like a slut, grind your virgin little pussy on my meat" He growls, coming up to capture your lips in his own, groaning into your mouth when you dig your nails painfully inside his flesh, enough to draw blood. 
The sweat drips down your bodies, as you rut against each other in pure pleasure. You moan into heeseungs mouth as he languidly licks against your open cavity, sucking on your tongue, and exchanging spit. 
The pace of his thrusts fasten, and he pounds you into the couch, fucking into you like his life depends on it. Your words are reduced to mere moans and babbles, your tongue lolling out at how good he feels.
"gonna cum inside this cunt baby, gonna let me fill you up right? flood your insides with my fuck cream?" You nod in a lust filled haze, and heeseung licks the saliva that pools in the corner of your mouth.
" Yeah? Real deep baby? Fuck-so fucking good Jesus" He growls, his spit and sweat falling into your mouth as he starts rutting into you like an animal. He can feel himself getting closer. the knot in your stomach snaps when he presses his palm into your lower stomach to trace his outline. You gasp into his mouth, and your body convulses uncontrollably.
"Fuck yeah, god you're gonna make me cum, god im- his hips grind a few times inside your pussy, and then he's stilling inside of you, the tight clench of your pussy pushing him over the edge, shooting his thick cum inside your womb. 
It feels so good that Heeseung keeps moving inside you till you whine and cry out in overstimulation. You're grateful when he listens, and pulls out, but the very next second, he's getting down there and burying his face between your legs again, slurping your combined juices from your pussy. Your toes curl at the feeling, and you can't help but open your mouth when he comes up to slot his cum filled one against yours. It's nasty, but you can't stop licking into him, tasting your mixed release together. 
"Fuck, you're nasty" He chuckles, finally turning your body around, and wrapping you into his embrace. 
For the first time in your life, you fall asleep nuzzled into a warm and comforting body against you.
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Heeseung has always prided himself in the fact that he doesn’t get attached to people easily, doesn’t feel certain emotions until he allows himself to. He’s not a good person, he’s always known this, that’s the reason why he has always kept himself at a distance.
Watching. Observing.
Nothing in his life is unpredictable, heeseung works according to the plan, always predicting and preparing himself for situations that can happen. That’s just how he operates.
Watching. Observing. Executing.
You, however, caught him off guard. Heeseung was never ready for you to barge in his life the way that you did.
You think you know him from third semester but heeseung knows you from way before that. The first time he’d seen you was on the very first day of college, waiting right outside the registrar office, chewing on your bottom lip nervously as you stepped aside for people to pass.
There was something about you that stuck with Heeseung. He couldn't figure out what it was no matter how much he thought about it but you soon became a constant itch at the back of his mind.
It wasn't like you were strikingly pretty. Heeseung had been surrounded by beautiful women all his life. Almost desensitized to extravagant beauty. It all seemed vague to him.
You were not extraordinarily pretty, no.
But you were enchanting. it was the type of pretty that stuck with you, that stayed with you, the type of pretty that might not capture your attention in the first glance but the second or third glance might have you hooked; the type of pretty that was made up of hesitant smiles and solemn gazes and fidgeting hands.
Heeseung watched you from afar for a long time, observing, learning. That was until he saw an opportunity to be in the same lecture as you. That’s when he started executing.
And then you made him fail. At his own game.
Heeseung’s sickness identified and craved yours, rendering him powerless when he realized that maybe,you were even sicker than him, a thousand times more depraved. You just didn’t know it yet.
He didn’t realize when you became the very thing he breathes, carving yourself a home inside the darkest parts of his heart.
Ever since he fucked you into your sheets, his craving for you has increased tenfold. He is way past pretending that you are some stupid bet, or a mere name on the list. Seeing you vulnerable, and yet so strong , made something shift in him. He's always been sick in desire for you, but over the past few months, you have managed to infiltrate your way inside his brain. 
"How's the mission " Cherries to pop" going for you man?" Jake's voice interrupts his thoughts, and he doesn't have to think twice about his answer, eyes fixated on your slumped figure as he replies
"Take her off the list, I won" 
Numerous gasps are heard around him, sunghoon laughs in shock, eyes meeting Jake's in disbelief "you can't be serious, was she any good? " He asks, nervousness creeping in his voice, because heeseung does look serious. 
Heeseung turns his eyes towards sunghoon, face void of any recognizable emotion
"the bet's over. I don't want to talk about it, but if I see any of you fuckers around her after this, it's going to get bloody " He warns, sweeping his eyes over the shocked faces of the boys around him. And with that, you are taken off the list forever. 
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You hear the whispers, you aren't deaf, but something inside you disassociated when you woke up in the evening after losing your virginity. Cold and alone. 
Heeseung had cleaned your body and clothed it before he left, but not having him near stung more than you ever thought it would. It was to be expected tho, wasn’t it? He got what he wanted, there was no reason to stay.
"can't believe heeseung really did it"
"Man, she doesn't look like she must have been a good fuck"
"A win is a win"
You don't dare look up the entire day, ignoring all the folded papers that fall beside your leg. Curiosity doesn't get the better of you, and you don't pick them up to read what's inside. It just doesn't seem to matter anymore. All this buzz will die down in a week, and you will finally resort back to the dark corners, and shadows where people will no longer look at you, just past you. 
You don't dread the reality of your situation anymore, a small sigh leaving your lips as you gather your stuff, and walk past the inquisitive stares. 
Settling down at the farthest seat in the cafeteria gives you a sense of relief. This seat has been your safe space through all ups and down. The only constant in the chaos of your existence.
You're busy swirling your food around the plate when a sudden quiet falls over the cafeteria. All the chitter chatter and noise dies down. It's almost eerie. Eerie enough to finally make you look up to see what's wrong. Your eyes turn towards the entrance as you follow everyone's collective gaze, and what you see makes your heart plummet in your stomach.
It's Jay. But he's wearing a cap, his head slumped down as he makes his way towards his seat with an obvious limp, but it doesn't hide the black and blue wound blossoming around his left eye, several deep cuts on his lower lip, and scratches on his cheek. The high neck he's wearing sticks out like a sore thumb in mid July, and you wonder if there's more that he's trying to hide. You don't have to worry about facing him, looks like he's not going to be looking up anytime soon. 
Realization sets inside your throat like a lump, and you instinctively snap your gaze towards heeseung's table. His eyes are already on you when you find him. They're dark, and tender, if that's even possible. You feel like you're drowning in them. Your throat feels full, and your eyes burn the more that you look at him, and you can't help but follow your instinct to get out of here as soon as possible. It's too much. This sudden influx of emotion is too much for you. 
Murmurs follow your leave, but you don't stay behind to hear or care. Your steps are heavy and purposeful as you stride forward, away from everyone and everything. This feels like a fever dream. Why the fuck would Heeseung do that? Scratch that, how the fuck did he even find out?
But you know exactly how he found out. The location that you shared. It isn’t rocket science to figure out who lives nearby. Of course he knows. What confuses you is the fact that he cared enough to look it up and avenge you in his own sick way.Why does he even care?
You can feel a breakdown coming, and so without wasting time, you rush home in a frenzy. By the time you reach your threshold, your throat hurts, the tonsils burning in pain. Your body is begging for you to let it out, but you're a slave to your habits. Holding everything inside until it chokes your airway. 
You're tapping your leg frantically as you stir a spoon haphazardly in your coffee cup, swallowing down copious amounts of caffeine to push back the inevitable. You hate breakdowns, hate feeling so out of control and vulnerable. It shatters your facade, makes you come face to face with the pretty lies that you tell yourself. 
"It's going to be fine, you're fine"
But are you? 
A loud honking in your front yard makes you drop your cup, spilling all of its contents on your shoes, jumping back as you get startled out of your mind. 
Who the fuck?
You step over the mess and make your way to your front door, watching in disbelief as Heeseung's car idles in front of you. He's looking right at you from his window, and you wonder what is it about his eyes. There's something about his eyes and the way he looks at you. It makes you feel naked. Body and soul. It seems like he looks right through you, and you don't know if you like that. 
Your feet move on their own and he doesn’t even have to say anything. In no time, you find yourself sitting inside his car, your back against the expensive leather seats, while you play with the stray threads of your blouse. 
"What do you want now?" you ask, deciding to break the silence. It's only fair to stop beating around the bush and get this over with. Whatever this is.
"You" He answers almost immediately, making you scoff. You don't look at him but you can feel his gaze burning into you. 
"I'm not a virgin anymore Heeseung, you won, there’s nothing more that I can offer you" Your voice feels scratchy against your throat, and you wonder if it's because of the tears you keep pushing back. 
There's a heavy pause of silence, and then you hear him chuckle, almost in pity and contempt. 
"You don't get it do you?" He asks, voice laced with disbelief. 
When you don't look up, and don't respond, he laughs hollowly. 
"Ask me why I did that" He says, his tone a tad bit deeper now. It's a demand. "Ask me why I smashed pretty boy's face in" 
You swallow the lump in your throat, and close your eyes. Not now please. 
"Why" you whisper ask, almost inaudible if it wasn't for the pin drop silence in the car.
"because it gave me a sick satisfaction to see him in pain. I'm not sorry about how your old man ended up either. If I could, I would shoot both of their skulls open for putting their hands on you"
The anger and pure hatred in his voice makes a sob to rip through your chest, eyes finally snapping up to meet his. They're dark in anger, and disdain, and you wonder why he cares so much. You look over to his wounded knuckles which are turning white due to how tightly he’s gripping onto the steering wheel. The sight of his anger mirroring your own ignites a spark of recognition deep within you. The raw intensity of emotion emanating from Heeseung stirs something inside your vacant soul. For the first time in what feels like an eternity, you feel seen. Validated. All this time, you had told yourself that you got what you deserve. You were fundamentally flawed, and all of this pain was your own fault.You never allowed yourself to be angry, burying the rage beneath your stoic facade, but seeing Heeseung angry for you makes your own walls crumble one by one.
"I want to cut open anyone who's ever hurt you baby, I want to be the only one who gets to hurt you" He declares.
You gape at him while tears run down the slope of your cheeks
"that's-that's not normal" you whisper, but his expressions don't crack, eyes wide and pupils dilated. In this moment, he looks insane, and it scares you how much you want to get lost in him.
"You don't need normal" he replies. 
His words hit heavy and get stuck inside your throat. You look away and wipe your tears, swallowing another bout of sobs threatening to escape your chest. The walls are cracking, the sound of them breaking and destructing can be heard as you let his words sink in. 
"Quit your part time job and let me take care of you. Your every need, I'll satisfy it. You won't even have to ask me for it and it will be done" He says, leaning forward, as if trying to make you see the reason in what he's saying.
You shake your head, eyes brimming with anger and tears as you stare right into his own.
"I don't need you to take care of me. I've always done it myself and I have managed to do it just fine, I don’t need you" you seethe, feeling rage at his implication that you can't hold your own. 
His expressions soften as he runs his eyes over your angry tears, his hand coming up to wipe them with his thumb. It’s pathetic how this small caress makes you lean into his touch. 
"No you don't. But I need you. I need to take care of you. I won’t be able to live with myself if I don't" He confesses. 
More tears run down your cheeks as sobs rip through your chest, and he continues to caress your face. 
"Is this a declaration of love?" you grouch through your physical grief, watching how his eyes gaze into yours, as if he wasn't expecting you to ask him that. 
"Does it have to be? I promise to keep you happy and protect you from all harm, should that not be enough?" 
You stare into his orbs and your heart skips a beat at the raw vulnerability you find there. He's just as scared as you, if not more. Turns out, you aren't the only one who is bad at confronting feelings. 
You crawl your way onto his lap, and he instantly wraps his arms around you, like you belong there. You take his hand into your own and press tender kisses onto his knuckles, and he watches you do it. Then you look up, and smile. That smile seems to be his undoing. Heeseung instantly leans down to kiss you fervently. You tangle your fingers in his hairs, kissing back just as deeply, and he groans into the kiss. The collision of your mouths is desperate, as if trying to convey all that's left unsaid. 
"It's enough" You mumble into his mouth, and he swallows your words greedily. 
2K notes · View notes
jayujus · 2 months
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rent a boyfriend! - lhs smau
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PAIRING rich girl!y/n x broke college student!heeseung
SYNOPSIS in which jeon y/n is desperate to find a boyfriend ASAP because she needs a date for her family's mixer. her best friend, ningning, introduces her to a website perfect for this situation!
OR.....
drunk heeseung unknowingly signs up for a website on the dark web.
FEATURING miso of dreamnote as y/n, aespa, nana, enha hyung line + other idols occasionally
GENRE(S) fluff, crack, angst, love triangle, rent a boyfriend trope
WARNING(S) suggestive, kys/kms jokes, friends are mean to each other (lightheartedly), bit of parental neglect (daddy issues), y/n's indecisive af n accidentally hurts ppl 🧍‍♀️
STATUS ongoing
STARTED february 26 2024
COMPLETED -
KAIA'S NOTE taglist is closed, ignore timestamps... i am really looking forward to this smau! i will try to be consistent this time but i won't make a schedule since i never follow them....
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PROFILES kwangya quest | super flops | y/n's fam
PROLOGUE technical difficulties
01 needy y/n
02 WOAH hes fine.....
03 cheating on you
04 cocktail party!!! 💬 1.0k + smau
05 roses are red
06 belieber vs jungkooker
07 cardboard jungkook
08 #JeonYnIsOverParty
09 jhené aiko is goated
10 who the hell is chaewon?!
11 lover boy
12 sea in the fish
13 eternal sunshine
14 mary cooper
15 girls is players too
16 when 2 people love each other....
17 i know
18 bitchless no more!
19 get help
20 2 man trumpet???
21 go easy on me baby
22 blues
23 tba
24 tba
copyright © jayujus 2024 all rights reserved
2K notes · View notes
tempted-byhyuka · 21 days
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| enhypen when… |
they snap at you
╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝
inc: request, angst, hurt/comfort, yelling, flinching (jay, jake, jungwon, ni-ki), physical contact (heeseung, sunghoon), small fall (jay), jealousy (jake, sunoo), food (sunoo)
ೃ⁀➷ lee heeseung
ੈ♡˳ heeseung was typically a levelheaded guy, and he always treated you like a glass doll that would break at the slightest tremor. never before had he raised his voice at you, even when he was visibly agitated. it stayed that way for a long time, even through his toughest schedules and most irritating setbacks.
ੈ♡˳ one night when he came home, you could tell he was deep in thought, but also exhausted and agitated. in an attempt to get him to feel better, you hugged him from behind and kissed the back of his neck over and over. when that didn’t exactly work, you repeated his name, again and again. “hey, heeseungie.. heeseung!”
ੈ♡˳ “what?! what do you want?!” he roared and spun around in his chair so fast it pushed you back and made you stumble in suprise. you were so startled you didn’t know what to say.. he had never done this before! “i-i was just..” you tried but backed away when he stood up. “what?! helping?! what kind of help is that?!”
ੈ♡˳ heeseung stared at you with an irate expression, his chest shaking as he breathed deeply, like he was about to unload his struggles on you. the silence was sickening but eventually, he lets out a sigh.. an exhausted one as he closes his eyes and lowers his head. “i’m sorry…. i’m sorry.” he repeated.
ੈ♡˳ he takes your hands in his and lifts them up, “are you hurt…? did i hurt you?” heeseung’s voice trembled. sensing his regret, you place your hands on his cheeks and begin rubbing circles onto the skin. you can feel the half smile he mustered, and lean in your press a kiss to his nose, “i’m okay, i promise..”
ೃ⁀➷ park jongseong
ੈ♡˳ as much as it seemed like jay was quick to anger, he never reflected that behavior on you, he was always patient and respectful towards you, a proper gentleman. even when you almost damaged an expensive pan in the dishwasher, he gave you a smile, patted your head and promised it was all okay.
ੈ♡˳ it was always easy for you to tell when he was at him limit though, and when he came home and dropped his backpack aggressively onto a chair, you knew that he must have had a rough day. “jay? is everything alright?” you inquired and stepped into the kitchen. “i don’t want to talk about it..” he mumbled.
ੈ♡˳ “are you sure? you’ll feel better if you do.” you said and reached out to try and rub his shoulders, only for jay to shrug them off. “i said no.” he grumbled, sounding more upset than before. you feel a deep tension in your chest and, “do you want me too..” “i want you to stop talking!” he shouted.
ੈ♡˳ your heart dropped, and you step away from jay to give him space, only to stumble and fall to the floor. hearing the thud, jay turns around and finds you on the floor, furrowing his brow. he reaches down to offer you a hand, but it feels like his heart shatters when he sees you flinch, and it hits him that he’s the reason you did.
ੈ♡˳ he kneels down in front of you, his hands held up in a gesture of peace as his gaze becomes softer, and more despaired as he places his hands on your knees. you caught a glimpse of the tears forming on his waterline before he bows his head, his shoulders starting to shake. he felt like a failure… a complete failure.
ೃ⁀➷ sim jaeyun
ੈ♡˳ it wasn’t easy to set jake off, not at all. he is a textbook boyfriend, kind, sweet, handsome, well communicated, and he has a cute puppy to boot. he’s everyone’s dream man… everyone’s dream, even the strangers on the street, the strangers on the screen and even his own staff.
ੈ♡˳ that’s why it really rubbed you the wrong way when jake responded to one stylist’s comment on his nice face with his handsome smile and a laugh that you thought was flirting. to make it worse, he didn’t even notice you were upset until you were both already home. “baby? hey talk to me… are you mad?”
ੈ♡˳ that’s when you unload, you snapped and told jake what you were feeling. maybe you should have waited until you were calmer however, because to your shock, jake began arguing with you. “oh come on! am i not allowed to accept compliments anymore because of your jealousy?!”
ੈ♡˳ the argument went on and on until Jake was so frustrated he went to pinch the bridge of his nose, making you step back at the sight of his hand flying up so quickly. jake stopped in his tracks, his expression switching up completely into concern, “baby..? oh no, did you think i would…?” his face breaks your heart.
ੈ♡˳ you break down into tears and shake your head, stepping forward until your chest to chest with him and hiding your face in his neck. jake wraps his arms around you lovingly, shushing you and running a hand over your hair, “i would never, baby… i’m so sorry i made you feel that way…”
ೃ⁀➷ park sunghoon
ੈ♡˳ you knew that dating park sunghoon wasn’t exactly going to be a walk in the park (haha), whether it was due to his busy schedule or the fact that when you did get time to spend with him, he was often sleeping or burnt out. regardless, you cherished every moment you got to hold his head on your lap and listen to him.
ੈ♡˳ occasionally though, sunghoon would return home in complete silence, giving you a small peck on the cheek, showering and falling right to sleep without saying more than a simple ‘hey babe’. one of those nights, all you wanted was his attention, he had been gone for about 2 weeks filming after all.
ੈ♡˳ when you crawled into bed behind him, you start pressing your lips to his jaw, his cheek and the corner of his eye. this made him groan and turn his head, “babe, i’m trying to sleep…” he mutters. unsatisfied, you try again to drape an arm over his body, but sunghoon’s reaction takes you by surprise.
ੈ♡˳ he forcibly pushed your arm away and turned around, “stop it…!” he yelled, and you sit up so quickly you get lightheaded. you watch his face change in an instant as he realized what he did, sitting up with you and grabbing your shoulders, “wait.. baby i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it.. i’m just so tired.” he shakes his head.
ੈ♡˳ “no, i should have stopped first, im sorry!” you take his hands and move them so you can give him a proper embrace. “i shouldn’t have put my hands on you though… come on baby, i’m sorry.” he pulled you to lay down with him, hugging you against his firm chest and pulling the blanket over your body.
ೃ⁀➷ kim seonwoo
ੈ♡˳ every couple had the occasional argument, you and sunoo were no exception. though your fights would typically end in playful jabs and making amends over mint chocolate ice cream, it never got too serious. that is until sunoo seemed to get genuinely upset over you talking to your ex after crossing paths in public.
ੈ♡˳ you didn’t think it was such a big deal, but sunoo gave you the silent treatment until you both got home where he finally let loose, “i can’t believe you just let him flirt with you like that! you’re still hooked up on him, aren’t you?” he scoffed, tossing his jacket onto the coat rack carelessly.
ੈ♡˳ “sunoo that’s ridiculous, i was being friendly!” you argued back, not exactly appreciating the sentiment that you were still attracted to your ex. “oh yeah, sure! i totally believe you. if you’re so friendly, go hang out with him then.” he replied before storming off, slamming the bedroom door behind him.
ੈ♡˳ after some time apart cooled you both off, you caved first, realizing that maybe chatting with your ex and barely acknowledging your current lover wasn’t the best idea. you knew just the thing to cheer him up as you opened the delivery app, picking out every snack you knew he enjoyed and adding it to the cart.
ੈ♡˳ 30 minutes later, you knock softly on the bedroom door, only to hear rapid shuffling and a thump before sunoo opened the door, “you’re still here! oh sweetheart i’m so sorry i-!” you cut him off by holding the back in front of him, “me too… let’s eat.” you smiled, following him to your bed and opening the bag.
ೃ⁀➷ yang jungwon
ੈ♡˳ being the leader of a group is stressful enough, but leading a globally popular group at the age of 16 added more weight on jungwon’s shoulders. jungwon thought he had developed a healthy way to cope with the stress but even he had his moments where he couldn’t contain his emotions.
ੈ♡˳ when he arrived home from a long, frustrating and stressful recording session, the last thing he wanted was to be bombarded with questions by you. unfortunately for you, jungwon wasn’t in a state of mind to communicate that to you without being aggressive as he yanked his arm out of your grasp.
ੈ♡˳ “why are you so clingy, huh?! don’t you have anything else to do other than nag my ear off?!” he yelled in an unrecognizable manner, his eyes filled with anger. you couldn’t get a word out, backing into a wall as it looked like he wouldn’t calm down any time soon. you’ve never seen him so frustrated.
ੈ♡˳ he cursed and reached his hands up to his face to rub his eyes, but you were so nervous you backed into the wall fully, a dull thud resonating through the hallway. jungwon opened his eyes at the sound, now looking confused, “y/n..? did you…?” the dots seem to connect in his head as his eyes soften.
ੈ♡˳ slowly, he extended his hand to you, waiting for you to take it before pulling you close. jungwon placed his hand on the center of your back, lowering his head so that he could speak into your ear. “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have said those things… please forgive me.” he says, smiling when he felt you return the affection.
ೃ⁀➷ nishimura riki
ੈ♡˳ ni-ki wasn’t at all an angry person, especially not with you. he was always so quiet and calm, his silence was comfortable rather than intimidating; and that’s why its so easy to tell whenever he was stressed or upset. his jaw clenches and he has a dead eyed look, a telltale sign that he’s overthinking.
ੈ♡˳ and you didn’t expect him to start yelling at you when you pried him for answers, which was, admittedly, probably not the best choice. “i said i don’t want to talk about it! what part of that is so hard for you to understand?!” you were not at all used to riki raising his voice and it was enough to silence you.
ੈ♡˳ he raised his hand up after a beat of silence, intending on pushing his bangs out of his face, only for you to back away with a fearful sound. both of you froze, staring at eachother with bewildered looks on both of your faces. the tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife.
ੈ♡˳ “y/n…” riki finally spoke after what felt like an eternity of silence, his expression softening into a worried one. you could see tears begin to well up in his eyes, and riki never cried in front of you before… all tension left your body as you moved towards him, embracing him and burying your face into his chest.
ੈ♡˳ he didn’t waste a second returning the gesture, squeezing you tight enough that it made your ribs hurt. no more words were spoken as you sat down on the couch, and with your ear pressed to his chest, you could hear his rapid heart beat along with the whispered apologies he uttered into your ear.
thank you for reading! i haven’t proofread this yet, i will soon but thank you to the requester for giving me a prompt i could work with, i hope you enjoy it 🫶
1K notes · View notes
amazzwon · 1 month
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WHAT IS... HOME?
❜ ─ ─ ❛ lee heeseung x fem! reader
╰┈➤ ❝ [angst, non-idol au, one-sided love, friends to strangers]
╰┈➤ ❝ [0.8k words]
╰┈➤ ❝ [cherry blossom; lana del rey]
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I was six feet under my thoughts as waited for her by "The Stone Cold" ice cream shop. As the glass entrance opened with customers pushing through, a waft of sweet air contrasted with the evening air. The grey scarf cloaking my neck itched and tickled me; it was a cold November. My breaths turned foggy and my nose dusted crimson. 
The cold was as harsh as the reality.
It had been a week since I revealed my truth to her. 
"If my name was a word then you are the meaning to it".
That's what I had said, my true being, my pure love, my final chance to prove to her; to tell her that I, Lee Heeseung, am in love with her.
"I-If you will have me," My voice had wobbled, "Meet me in front of our favourite spot at 8 pm?". 
I cringed at the memory. Had I sounded more mature, more manly, maybe then she would have given her answer at that moment.
A week passed but my hope did not. 
The first time, it did phase me... a lot. I remember being drenched in my sorrow and overflowing eyes that would not open (I changed pillow covers twice that day).
The second time, the ice cream shop owner offered me a free scoop (that melted in my hand cause I was too in my head). 
The third time, I took interest in the pebbles by the road and kicked them woefully; but there had been times when my head played games with me, begging me to look up to meet her eyes but she wasn't even there. 
The fourth time, I gazed at the clouds.
The fifth time, my heart began playing tricks on me, persuading me to go to her apartment complex; but I was a lover, not a serial killer.
The sixth time, I can't even remember anymore...
The neon pink, "The Stone Cold", sign flickered in contrast to the golden gleaming lamp posts. It looked ugly. The contrast, I meant. Coincidentally, so did my thoughts. The crowd brushed past me, rushing as if they had somewhere to be; that thought made me jealous.
Would she consider me to be a place worth running towards?
Time was ticking; the rush hour stalled. My feet prickled; the freezing temperature swept past me. I stood still; an empty vessel with heartbroken thoughts. The ice cream shop's sign glitched shut, and then the old man (the owner) walked out offering a sad smile at the sad case of a man in front of him. I could hear the man wobbling out of the scene but, my genius envisioned her footsteps approaching me. 
There you have it, another day spent on the woman so gorgeous, she turned me ugly with glum hope. My mind tugged me to text her, just one last time. I decided against it.
The buses continued their usual routes. It was a cheap option instead I chose to take me and my pathetic heart for a walk. I shouldn't have; I could have easily saved myself from the nightmares, the embarrassment, my dignity! Yet I watched with my chapped lips parted and eyes widened. She had her arm looped with another man. My eyes flitted from her to her man. Her man? ugh, that word itself made my soul churn.
He whispered something in her ear and she laughed as if she had no care in the world. How brutal could she be! They stood near the signal waiting to cross the road... so she did have a place to rush towards but couldn't she at least stop by to reject me?
Oh no, it was worse. I was the other man... 
I collected the few shards of my heart and I turned around with heavy eyes. Walking briskly, I couldn't gaze straight, too stunned to look up anymore. At least, I had memorised the path home. I decided that home was my place to be... but no.
As soon as I thought of home, she flashed across my mind. Her smile, her warmth; she was my sunlight and she was my shade. My walking speed turned obsolete and my vision was hazy. I should have known better than to have such a tremendous amount of longing, I could have spared it to face the world.
Maybe she saw it. She noticed my blind faith, she noticed my unfortunate state of being under her spell and left me to my thoughts. They weren't any better.
I approached my home... oh god, I want to find another word to call the place I rest... 
my hand shoved in my pocket to fish out my keys
a warm place... 
I finally felt the cold metal ring and pinched the correct key.
a place to laugh...
I tried to connect it to the keyhole but I missed
a place where I could love...
 I missed again
a place... where I would stop missing her
The first tear fell before I could even enter my house; the place as cold as November. 
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ham-st4r · 3 months
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90 DAYS OF PLEASURE - L. HS
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PAIRING: HEESEUNG + FEM READER!
WARNINGS: smut, quickies, public sex, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, ear licking, cum eating, hate-ish sex, cursing, teasing, lots of jealousy, angst, fluff, oral, dirty talk, spitting, swallowing, fingering, toe sucking, alcohol, arguments, Heeseung, because his attitude in this fic is a warning in itself 💀 mans is a lil obsessed and delusional filler characters, yeonjun, jeongin, sunghoon, jay, jake, yeji, karina.
GENRE: 18+, smut, enemies to?
SUMMARY: You were excited to move to your childhood bestfriend's neighborhood after being separated for years. You couldn’t wait to catch up and meet her large group of friends and attend a new school together. What you couldn’t have been prepared for was the fact that one of her said friends would become your enemy on just the first day of meeting and the roller coaster of emotions that followed after.
WORDCOUNT: 31,114k CHARACTERS 169,383k
Hello! This is my first time writing something like this, so I’m a bit dissatisfied with the outcome. However, I spent a decent amount of time writing it, and everyone seems to be excited for it, so I decided to post it for you guys cause otherwise, this would not be seeing the light of day💀 bear with me; I’ll try to write better plots from now on. But anyways, it’s finally here, so I hope everyone enjoys it. Please, please, please send feedback and reblog. I worked so hard on this, so it can’t flop :/
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Today was your first day of college, well, at least as a transfer student anyways, you had been so excited to transfer cause after all this time you were finally going to be reuniting with your childhood best friend. You missed her so much after she moved away, but luckily, your parents decided to relocate this year, and it just so happened to be in her same community. Needless to say, you couldn't have been happier after so long. You'd finally be seeing her again.
Over the years, you both kept in touch by texting and FaceTiming every day, keeping your friendship as strong as it was the day she moved away.
However, though your bond was strong, you just couldn't get over the fact that you couldn't hug her, see her in person, and go out together like you used to. It killed you, but neither of you could do anything about it, so sadly, you just accepted it.
But now here you both are, just minutes from meeting again, and you couldn't wait. To say you were happy would be an understatement.
You were impatiently waiting outside the school, nearly shaking in excitement. You were nervous but so so happy at the same time.
You texted her the time you arrived, and minutes later, she was running towards you at the gates of your new school. "Y/n!" she shouted your name with the biggest smile on her face as she opened her arms far and wide to give you a big hug.
You giggled when you saw her excitedly running towards you, and you outstretched your arms, engulfing her in a bone-crushing hug while releasing a deep sigh. "It's been so long." As mentioned previously, you both kept in touch over the phone and on FaceTime, but it still didn't beat actually seeing each other in person after so many years apart.
"Too long" you said tightening your grip on her you missed the warmth of her hugs the most especially when you were going through tough times.
"I missed you. There's so much I have to show you," she cheered as she broke the hug. "I have to show you around and show you to classes. Oh, and of course, you have to finally meet all my friends," she clapped excitedly.
"Friends? I thought I was your only friend," you say playfully, nudging her shoulder with yours.
"You're my only best friend," she winked.
"That's more like it." you both linked your arms together, entering the school so she could show you all the ins and outs.
You were shocked, to say the least.
She gave you the full tour like a personal guide, and it was very much appreciated the school was so big that you're sure you would have gotten lost if it wasn't for her showing you around.
It was much nicer than the one you attended and cleaner, too, which wasn't a surprise cause the community was much nicer than your old neighborhood. Not to say your old neighborhood was bad. It just had significantly less income.
She showed you everything on the walk-through, like the bathrooms, the gym, the library, the cafeteria, literally everything.
As you both walk side by side, she suddenly halts and turns to you with a smile on her face after finishing the tour. "So what do you think?"
"It's great. I love it. So much better than my old school. Sorry, not sorry." you both share a laugh together, and you notice your friend suddenly looking behind you. You turn in the direction she's looking in, and you see a boy waving frantically. He looked to be your same age. He had a bright smile on his face. His hair was brown and bouncing up and down as he jogged over to you both.
"Hi, Jake!" Your best friend smiles, and you smile as well. You heard that name in many conversations that you had with her in the past over FaceTime.
"Hey, Yeji," he greets when he finally reaches both of you. He looks at you, his smile growing wider when his eyes meet yours. Yeji spoke about you, her best friend coming into town this week, so Jake could only surmise you were that best friend cause he hasn't seen you around till now.
You couldn't help but smile back cause his smile was literally so contagious. "Y/n, this is my friend. I talked to you about. Jake and I met as soon as I moved here, and he's been by my side protecting me and showing me the ropes ever since."
"Hi Jake, nice to meet you." you extend your hand for him to shake, and he does gladly.
"You too. I love seeing new faces and making new friends," he says excitedly. You usually weren't good at first meetings, but this went surprisingly smooth, and you could already see yourself growing close to him. He just had a very positive and comfortable vibe about him, and anyone who was a friend of Yeji was a friend of yours.
"Class is about to start soon, but I'll briefly introduce you to all my friends." You nod your head, smiling softly at the thought of meeting her friends finally, she talked so much about them, and they all sounded like great people.
"All the others are just outside. Shall we go see them? We have…" Jake trails off, looking at the timepiece on his wrist. "Just about fifteen minutes before class."
"Perfect." Yeji takes your hand in hers, leading you outside on the front bench where they all usually hang out before class. "Hi everyone," she greets, gathering the attention of the five other people sitting on the bench. "So I have someone I'd like you to meet." They all lift their heads from their phones and notebooks, offering you a kind smile as you look at the many different faces of her friend group. "This is y/n, my long-time bestie that I always talk about. You guys already know, but she's transferring here, and from now on, she's a part of our group," she announces while you three take a seat on the bench together with the rest of them. "So treat her well," she says sternly.
You hear a series of hi's and hellos. "H-hello," you say shyly. "I'm y/n. It's nice to finally meet my friends, friends." Chuckling softly, you lower your head, hiding your shyness or attempting to anyway.
"Likewise, names Jay," a male with silver hair replies with a cool smirk on his face.
"I'm Sunghoon. Nice to meet you," another male says, and you can't help but stare at him for a second longer, or maybe two, because he was absolutely breathtaking.
"I'm Karina." You looked to the left, making eye contact with one of the most beautiful girls you've ever seen. Her smile was literally perfect. You nodded slightly, and you're sure you were blushing by now. How come yeji never told you all her friends looked like models.
"Yeonjun," a boy with bright blue hair sitting next to Karina, introduced himself briefly with a small wave, and you smiled politely.
"It's nice to meet all of y-" You were interrupted by someone clearing their throat. You immediately got embarrassed because you didn't even notice him at first. To be fair, though, he was seated a little further on the back of the bench, so it wasn't that easy to notice him. Plus, you were still a bit nervous, and making eye contact wasn't a strong point for you at first-time meetings.
"I'm heeseung," he says dryly without bothering to offer you a smile or a wave cause the way you greeted everyone else but just completely ignored him.
"Nice to meet you, heese-" You try to acknowledge him, but he looked so uninterested, and if you're not mistaken, you could have sworn he rolled his eyes before he interrupted you for the second time in less than a minute.
"Class is starting now." He stands up, throwing his backpack over his shoulder, and walking to the entrance all by himself.
"U-uhh, nice meeting you all. I hope we can all get along and become good friends." You finally finished what you were going to say before that heeseung guy rudely interrupted you not once but twice. You don't understand. Everyone else greeted you perfectly fine, but it's almost as if he didn't even want to meet you, which is weird. You couldn't imagine Yeji being friends with someone like that, but you didn't say anything. He was probably just annoyed by something or tired cause, after all, it was still really early morning, plus no one had a reaction to his behavior, so you're sure you were just reading too much into the situation, that's all.
They all gave you a parting smile and packed up their things, following heeseung into the building while you and Yeji did the same. She dropped you off at your first class, wishing you luck and giving you a thumbs up before leaving you by yourself for the first time today.
-
Introducing yourself in class was something you always dreaded, but the way Yeji's friend Heeseung was almost glaring at you while doing it made it ten times worse. You wondered if you had possibly done something earlier to offend him, but there was nothing you could think of at the moment.
You finished your very short introduction speech and naturally walked to the seat next to Heeseungs. The other chairs were free, but you decided on that one since you were trying to get close to Yeji's friends. You figured this was the perfect way to do just that. "Sorry about earlier." You lean in a little and whisper to him you're not exactly sure what you're even apologizing for, but you did it just to clear the air.
He turns to you, an annoyed expression on his face as he holds his index finger to his mouth, indicating for you to shush.
You sat upright in your chair, a slight pout on your lips from how rude he was being. You were just trying to do the right thing and apologize, and he was being mean about it for no apparent reason.
You wondered how he could be a friend of Yejis. He was very handsome but a total jerk, and Yeji definitely didn't hang around rude people like him, at least not since you've known her.
You sigh, and you can't believe your first class was basically ruined all because of him. When it ended, you couldn't have been happier cause sitting next to him felt so suffocating, and after you left that class, you finally felt like you could breathe again.
"So, how was it?" Yeji pops up out of nowhere while you are wandering the halls alone.
"It was good." You forced a smile and lied because you didn't want to bad mouth Heeseung in front of her. He was literally her friend, and besides, you didn't want it to start any unnecessary drama on the first day. You're sure Heeseung probably just wasn't feeling well.
"Great!" She said enthusiastically everything was already going so well. She was happy your first class was good, and you were finally able to reunite and meet her friends. So far, it was perfect, just how she imagined it would be. "Sorry to leave you again, but" she points down the hall. "Next class," she whispered. You waved her off, telling her it was alright and that you'd be fine alone.
You went your separate ways and headed to your next classroom, and lo and behold, heeseung was in this one, too. This time, you decided to sit away from him, not wanting to annoy him any further than you already apparently had.
Once you sat down, heeseung peeked over his shoulder, looking back at you in the corner of the room. Sitting all by yourself, you felt someone's gaze on you, and as soon as you looked up, you could see him quickly turn away from you. He started tapping his pencil on his desk and bouncing his legs, pretending like he wasn't just staring in your exact direction.
You shook your head, wondering what was up with him, but you let it drift to the back of your mind, convincing yourself that he was just having a bad day and left it alone.
-
Classes went by in a breeze. Heeseung was like literally in all your classes, and it was just your luck, but as the day went on, you were able to focus and completely forget about what happened earlier in the morning.
Once you packed up all your stuff, you left class, texting Yeji that you had just finished. She caught up with you a few minutes later, and you chatted with her about how everything went as you walked the halls to catch up with the others in the cafeteria. She was happy to hear you shared the same classes as Heeseung, but you weren't. "He's really great and smart. If you need help with anything, he's your go-to guy. He's just like naturally good at everything, and he's so humble and nice about it." She goes on and on about how nice he is, but you just can't see it after the way he's been treating you on just the first day of knowing you, but whatever, you trusted Yeji and gave him the benefit of the doubt.
You both headed to the cafeteria, and you wonder if you and yeji are both talking about the same heeseung cause when you sat down next to him, he looked as if he'd tear your head clean off in the last class you had together.
The lunch table in the cafeteria was already full of Yejis's friends gathered around and eating while conversing with each other.
You and Yeji got your food together, and the both of you went to the table to join in the conversation they were having. Yeji easily joined, but it was harder for you because, of course, she had known these people way longer than you, so you stayed quiet for the most part, only laughing at a few jokes here and there.
"Hey, since y/n's new here, we should ask questions so we can learn more about each other," Jake suggested, noticing your silence, and everyone immediately agreed with his idea. "Y/n, you can start," Jake says and includes you into the conversation.
You picked at your food nervously, trying to think of a good conversation starter. "Umm, what's everyone's favorite food?" You ask, hoping that was a good question to start with, and with everyone's enthusiastic replies, you assumed it was, which helped you loosen up a bit.
Everyone told you their favorites, starting with Sunghoon and ending with heeseung. You heard him mutter something under his breath, but you didn't really pay attention to it because he was quite rude earlier, and you weren't entirely over it yet. After you all shared your favorites, you went on to talk about your favorite colors next, just learning the basics about each other on your first day.
Heeseung scoffed and removed himself from the conversation when you didn't reply to him like you did with everyone else. He decided to fill his mouth with food instead of talking. besides, he wasn't that interested in getting to know you anyways cause you were so rude from the moment you introduced yourself, and he wonders how such a sweet girl like yeji could surround herself with someone like you.
Despite your rudeness, heeseung still couldn't deny that when he first saw you, he thought you were absolutely beautiful. That was the only thing you did have on your side, but that wasn't enough to get him to befriend the likes of you.
Lunch went smoothly for the most part. You laughed and talked with everyone, getting to know each of them on a more personal level. It wasn't much, but you think you all covered a lot of bases just on the first day of knowing each other, and you hoped things would continue like this, minus Heeseung being a bit stand-off-ish.
-
Your first week went rather quickly, and everything was going great, just like it was on the first day you arrived. You got closer to everyone, especially Jake, and you weren't getting lost in the halls as often anymore or running around like a chicken with your head cut off in search of a bathroom, so that was a huge plus.
The only thing that still wasn't so great was heeseung.
Every time you'd come around, he'd find any excuse to remove himself from a conversation or roll his eyes at the mere sight of you, making it impossible for you not to notice that he didn't enjoy your presence at all.
At first, you convinced yourself it was just him being tired, but after three weeks of him being like that with you, you decided to say something to Yeji about her friend because things between you and him were uncomfortable, to say the least, especially when all you were trying to do was get along with everyone. "Is he always like that?" You ask, book bag in hand, as you and Yeji head home from school for the day.
"Is who always like what?" She questions while mindlessly kicking a pebble on the ground once you both exit the building.
"Heeseung," you blurt out, not holding back anymore. "He's quite," you hum in thought, trying to find a way not to offend her or depict Heeseung as a bad guy. "Rude," you add softly.
Her brows raised at the statement, and when you noticed her expression, you grew anxious about her answer because what if she didn't believe you? What if she thinks you're trying to bad mouth her friend for no reason? That wouldn't be a good look for you at all. "He's just shy, but once you get to know him, he's really nice, and lots of people mistake his quietness for rudeness, but he's the complete opposite."
Nodding your head, you pondered her words, but him being quiet wasn't the problem with the two of you, so you pressed a little further, hoping to get answers as to why Heeseung didn't like you. "But it's been nearly a month, and every time I come around, it's like he hates me or something," you pout.
"Hmm, well, I'm sure you two will get along well. Just give him some time." she shrugs it off, and you let it go once again, but you'd be keeping close tabs on his behavior towards you from now on.
-
You and Yeji's friend group were all currently on lunch break, eating in silence until. "Y/n, we're all going to the movies on Saturday. Would you like to come?" Yeonjun tilted his head curiously, awaiting your answer, and he looked so adorable.
"Hmm," you think if you have anything planned this Saturday, but you didn't. Your whole day was totally free. "Sure!"
"Great!" he smiles before returning to the bowl of soup that he had gotten from the school's cafeteria.
You nearly snapped when you heard Heeseung sighing right beside you. Any other time, you'd think you were being paranoid, but you could tell it was directed at you, and to be honest, you were getting fed up with him already.
You shifted in your seat uncomfortably while glaring at him. He turned his head in your opposite direction, unmistakably annoyed by you, and you just couldn't understand why he didn't like you, nor would you ask him about it cause he looked like he'd rather keel over than utter a single word to you.
Unfortunately, you had to be seated next to him, but you scooted as far away from him as possible, and as soon as you did, he did the same thing, creating a noticeable distance between the two of you.
What a petty asshole, you thought. Here he is, making it seem like you were doing something wrong when you were just simply trying to enjoy your lunch with your new friends.
Anyway, you were done with him. He could be annoyed all by himself cause you didn't care what he thought of you anymore, and you didn't care about becoming his friend no matter how many good things Yeji said about him.
You couldn't wrack your brain with his antics.
-
The day of the movie night rolled around, and everyone was already there waiting for you outside the venue.
"Okay, where's y/n?" Jake wonders out loud and checks his phone for a text from you, but he finds none.
Unfortunately, you had been running a bit late thanks to your alarm going off ten minutes past its set time. You must've set it wrong again. You knew you shouldn't have taken that afternoon nap, you got ready as fast as humanly possible to make up for your mistake. You arrived late, obviously, but only by a couple of minutes. "Sorry, I'm late," You smile sheepishly as you stand in front of them outside the venue with an apologetic pout on your face.
"Shouldn't have invited her," Heeseung says under his breath, and you wonder how no one else noticed this bullshit but you, but like you originally planned, you were ignoring him and his stupidity. If he wanted to be childish, he could be that way alone. You weren't going to waste time and energy on him, but it just baffled you how he could be so damn rude to a person he didn't even know.
"No worries, y/n. besides, we probably just missed some previews, no biggie," Jake assures you as you all enter the theater to get your tickets. You each buy your own individual snacks and go into the movie as quickly as possible.
Jake was right. The only thing you missed was the previews, which you were thankful for cause you'd feel bad if you made them miss the opening of the movie because you were late.
You don't know why or how you got stuck next to Heeseung's nasty ass, but somehow you did, and you immediately asked to switch seats or tried to, but before you could, he was pulling you down by your wrist, forcing you to sit next to him. "Stop making a scene," he tells you sternly without looking at you, and you were seething in anger cause what gave him the right to grab you and say you're making a scene when he has been the one making a scene every time he's within twelve feet of you?
You were about to reply, but he leaves you speechless when he reaches his hand in your bucket of popcorn, eating it like it was his, eating it like he paid for it. If he wanted some, why didn't he just buy it like everyone else had? "Wha-"
"Shush, the movie is starting," he quiets you immediately, letting go of your wrist, and feel so helpless cause you wanted to scold him, but you quite literally couldn't unless you took him outside, which at that point would actually be causing a scene, so you just let it go like you've been doing.
Halfway through the movie and, he's still helping himself to the popcorn you had bought for yourself.
You shook your head, reaching for your drink instead cause his hand was in the way of your popcorn, and he just had to reach for it too, causing both your hands to collide at the same time, and next thing you know, the ice cold slushy was falling into your lap you gasped loudly as the red drink seeped into your white shirt.
"Are you a baby or what? Spilling all over yourself, how childish," he tsked and continued watching the movie as you got up silently and went to the bathroom. apparently, everyone was too engrossed in the movie to notice your guy's little scuffle, which was fine cause you didn't want to ruin their night cause you were fighting with heeseung.
Once you reached the bathroom, you cleaned up as much as you could, but your shirt was stained bright red. You all had planned to go to dinner later, but it looked like you'd have to sit this one out cause your clothes were completely ruined.
You went back into the theater and finished watching the movie with the rest of them, and for the most part, you had a good time, minus that fat-headed jerk being next to you the whole time.
After an hour and some minutes, the credits rolled by, and everyone was filtering out of the theater. Once you all got outside, yeji was the first one to notice your shirt. "Oh no, y/n, what happened?" She asked with concern in her eyes, and now you kinda felt embarrassed cause all the attention was suddenly on you.
"I spilled on myself," you mumbled, and they couldn't help but smile at how cute you looked. While telling them what happened you looked just like a little kid that dropped their ice cream.
"Aww," Jake pouts, taking in the stain on your shirt. "You still look pretty, though red is your color," he says, trying to ease your embarrassment, and it definitely helped, you give him a wide smile of appreciation.
Heeseung folded his arms, popping his mouth at the scene. He was silent about the whole thing, which you found pretty funny cause it was his fault why your shirt was ruined, but you're almost glad it was because you didn't want to be around him any longer than you had to, even if it meant you couldn't hang out with your friends.
"Thanks, Jake." You looked down at your feet, blushing slightly. "I think I'll opt out of dinner, guys, so go ahead without me." They all collectively make sounds of disappointment, but you couldn't possibly go out looking like this, and you didn't want to ruin their plans by trying to reschedule. Being late to the movie was already bad enough.
"Thank goodness," Heeseung mumbled loud enough for you to hear and no one else, but you paid him no mind.
"Well, bye, y/n. I'll miss you," Yeonjun says, being a bit dramatic, and you just laughed it off, giving everyone else a hug except Heeseung cause, of course, he wouldn't want a hug from you. "Bye, Jay." you released him from the hug, and you were all ready to head home by your lonesome. Your night ended much sooner than planned, thanks to that giant cockroach that called himself Lee Heeseung. You couldn't believe that loser didn't even say it was his fault why your drink spilled in the first place.
"Wait!" Jay shouts eyes big and wide. "What if we all just have dinner at your place? We can grab the ingredients, and I'll cook. Plus, you can change your shirt, and we can all hang out together as planned?" He suggests.
"That's a great idea!" Karina says excitedly.
"Yeah and then we can have a sleep over!" Jake shouts and gets a smack on the back of his head by sunghoon.
"We don't even have our stuff, you dummy, and besides, we didn't even ask y/n yet." Jake rubs the back of his head, a dejected pout on his face. "Y/n, can we have a sleepover, please?" And how could you even think about saying no when everyone was looking at you with the cutest puppy eyes?
"But didn't you just say we don't have any of our stuf-" Jake immediately gets cut off with another slap to the back of his head.
"Yes, we can have a sleepover. My parents are out of town, but my house is kinda small-" Before you could finish, Jake and Sunghoon were all over you, hugging you way too tight, but you welcomed their gratitude by hugging them back.
"You're crushing her, guys." Jay shakes his head, prying the two boys off you. "Then I guess it's settled dinner and sleepover at y/n's house," Everyone cheered except for Heeseung, which wasn't even surprising to you anymore.
"I'm not going," Heeseung grumbles, drawing everyone's attention from you to him.
"Aww why?" Yeji says going up to him and tugging on the sleeve of his jacket. "You have to come," she pouts. "It won't be the same if everyone isn't coming," she begs.
He sighs, feeling conflicted because he really didn't want to be there with you, but he wanted to be there with his friends. "I don't know. I gotta get up early tomorrow t-"
"Heeseung, don't be a party pooper!" Yeonjun yells, and you can't help the laugh you let out, earning a glare from none other than Heeseung, but you really didn't care.
"It's a sleepover, not a party, you dimwit" You wanted to laugh, but you held it back because the last thing you wanted was to laugh at something Heeseung said.
"Whatever, just are you coming or not?" Jay interrupted the banter.
"Please," Yeji whines, making it impossible for Heeseung to say no, especially cause he knew she was so excited about having everyone together for your guy's first night out as a group.
"Fine," heeseung sighed, knowing he was in for a full night of torture.
-
It's been exactly two months since you moved, and you absolutely loved it. You're so glad your parents decided to move. It was literally the best decision ever. You could now call yejis friends your friends, you learned how to navigate your way around the community, and so far, school was going great. You couldn't ask for more, you were absolutely loving your new life.
Tonight would be the first party you were invited to by none other than your best friend. She said you should enjoy the young adult lifestyle and have fun since, after all, it was the weekend you didn't party much. Actually, you didn't party at all, mainly because you didn't like it but also because you didn't have any friends back home to party with, but now you had a whole group of people you liked and were comfortable with so, you decided to go try new things and see if it was something you'd like to do from now on.
So basically, in short, life couldn't be better right now.
The only problem was heeseung, but you completely gave up on being friends with him cause he was just simply weird, and you weren't going to dwell on it anymore. He got along with everyone else but you, so you didn't make a big fuss about it. Some people just simply aren't compatible, and you understand that, but he could have gone about it nicer nonetheless.
Jake and Heeseung were both walking side by side to their lockers, getting ready to head home for the day. "You're coming to the party right?"
"Hmm who's going?" Heeseung replies, stuffing a good-sized pile of books into his backpack for later use.
"Uhh, everyone?" Jake laughs, a bit confused by Heeseung's response.
If everyone meant you included, then he definitely didn't want to go cause you'd just ignore him whenever he said something and shoot nasty glares his way, and he could really go without that for a day. "I don't know. I have some work I need to get finished over the weekend,"
"Come on, you're already like the smartest person here. What is one party gonna hurt?" Jake says pulling the straps of his backpack on his shoulders as they make their way to the exit together.
"It's not the party. It's who's at the party." he rolled his eyes.
"What do you mean?" Jake says confused cause this was never a problem for Heeseung before. He didn't frequent parties as much as the others, but he also never complained about who would be at said party until today.
"It's nothing."
"Come on, just tell me," Jake pries for answers.
"Okay, but don't tell anyone." Jake immediately nods his head, assuring Heeseung that his secret is safe with him. "So you know yejis friend, right? y/n or whatever her name is," Jake nods again, but there's a confused expression slowly growing on his face as he wonders where Heeseung is going with this. "She like has issues with me for some reason, and I don't like being around her," he whispers.
"What?!" Jake says, surprised. "She literally gets along with everyone. What do you mean?"
"Everyone except me," Heeseung scoffs. "I don't care. It's just I don't understand why she feels the need to display it all the time. I don't even get why yejis friends with her, to be honest."
"Look, man, I don't know what you're talking about. She's great to me, and she fits in our group well, the perfect new addition." Jake nodded to himself.
"The perfect new annoying addition there, I fixed it for you," heeseung replies, and as they get further down the hall, he spots you and Jay laughing and talking with each other. "Speak of the devil" he rolls his eyes.
"So I take it you're not coming then?" Jake asked, disappointment evident in his tone as he waved at you and Jay in the distance with a smile on his face.
"You take it correct" he followed Jake's movements, waving to Jay only cause he couldn't care less about greeting you.
"Just give her a chance. I think you're misjudging her," heeseung hears Jake but doesn't respond simply because he knows if he did try to get closer to you, you wouldn't give him the time of day.
"Hey, me and y/n were just about to go eat. Do you wanna come with?" Jay asked once they got in speaking range.
"Busy," Heeseung replies immediately cause there's no way he could keep his food down if he had to see your face the whole time.
"Okay, you?" Jay asked Jake.
"I'm always down to eat." You smiled, happy to have more company, and thank goodness Heeseung was not going because you literally couldn't stand him.
"On second thought, I'll tag along." Heeseung looked at you, a smirk on his face, and you don't know why, but it made you feel nervous cause he rarely even acknowledged you.
"Thought you were busy." Jay leads the way for the small group of four outside the gates and heads to the restaurant just a couple minutes away.
"Ehh, it can wait," Heeseung shrugs.
-
Arriving at the restaurant ten minutes later, you all take your seats, ordering the food you want and waiting for it to be served. "This feels weird with just the four of us," Jay commented. Usually, everyone would go out together to eat, but not today.
"It does," you pout. "Too bad they couldn't come."
"Hey, it's their fault for not studying harder, and now you pay the price cooped in your room catching up on work when you could be eating a delicious meal," Jake jokes, and you giggle softly. "Couldn't be me"
Heeseung sighs and pulls out his phone to ignore the annoying sounds of your laughter. He didn't know why you felt the need to run around fake-laughing at nearly everything Jake said. Hell, Jake could breathe, and you'd laugh, but far be it from him to make a joke. You'd just go silent, for fuck sake, anyone could make a joke, and you laugh at everyone except him.
He doesn't know why everyone was so blind to it. You were just trying to be the nice "it" girl where everything you did was cute and funny, and you were the life of the party, and everything was fucking sunshine and stupid ass rainbows; meanwhile, you were treating him like shit.
While eating, you all struck up a conversation, and Heeseung knew he wasn't being ignored. He just didn't have much knowledge of said topic, but he was still upset because even when he was the center of a conversation, you still never listened to him the way you were listening so intently to Jake and Jay.
Feeling left out, he discreetly slid his cup of iced coffee to the center of the table. Last time he did that, you gave him a little attention, so why not do it again? Once it was exactly where he wanted it to be, he "accidentally" knocked it over, causing you to get drenched in the ice cold beverage.
You gasped in shock the cold making little goosebumps form all over your skin. "Oh my gosh are you alright?" Jay asked and grabbed some tissues off the table and handed them to you to clean your shirt.
"Yeah, I'm fine, just cold," you laugh awkwardly as you wipe the coffee off of your clothes. You could have sworn you saw Heeseung smiling, and at this point, it wouldn't surprise you if he did it on purpose. You shook your head at him and continued to pat yourself dry.
Jake glared at heeseung as he heard him chuckling softly. "So immature," he scoffed, and Heeseung shrugged his shoulders, not really caring about what Jake had to say. "Would you like to go to the restroom? I have a spare shirt and joggers in my bag that I didn't use for practice. Maybe it'll fit?" Jake offers.
You looked down at your soaked clothing, and you didn't really have much of an option. "Thanks, Jake." You got up from the table, glaring at Heeseung once last time.
"Dude, you could have at least apologized for spilling your drink," Jay said once you both left the table.
"Sure, she liked the attention." Heeseung stood up and snatched his bag, deciding to just go home. He didn't even know why he was so angry. He just was.
Jay's brows furrowed in confusion, and heeseung was gone. Before he could question it, he just brushed it off and finished eating his pasta while waiting for you and Jake to come back.
When the two of you both came back, you noticed a certain someone wasn't there anymore, and you felt relieved.
"Where's heeseung?" Jake wonders.
"He just dipped." when you heard that, it made your blood boil, and it wasn't rocket science to put together why he came to lunch with you guys, to begin with. Was he really that sick in the head to ruin your lunch with your friends just cause he didn't like you?
That was your last straw. From now on, you wouldn't even look at him or try to greet him. He was a nasty jerk, and you're glad he didn't want anything to do with you cause you didn't want anything to do with him either.
-
Later that night, you got ready for the party, ignoring the earlier half of your day. You hoped you'd have fun tonight, and it'd make up for the crap you had to put up with at lunch today.
You dressed in something casual, putting on your favorite perfume and adding a little bit of jewelry, and though your look was pretty basic, you couldn't lie. You still looked really good in it. You checked yourself out in the wall-length mirror one last time and were confident in your outfit choice.
You walked out the front door and got into Yeonjun's car since apparently it was his turn to be the driver, or so you were told.
"You look beautiful, y/n," Yeji compliments you, giving you an even bigger confidence boost.
"So do you," you reply, loving the half-cut black dress she wore. It had gold accents on it, which made her look even more stunning, especially with her matching black heels.
"Oh, this is nothing," she humbly waved you off while you buckled yourself in.
"That's definitely something," Yeonjun piped up from the front seat, looking at Yeji in the rearview mirror with a slight smirk on his lips.
She smiled and looked down at her lap, blushing from his compliment, and you couldn't help but smile at the two.
-
When you three arrived, everyone else was already at the party. Apparently, yeonjun dropped them off along the way. You looked around, seeing everyone enjoying themselves. You greeted each of them one by one, except Heeseung. Of course, to be honest, you kinda even forgot he was part of your friend group. That's just how much you didn't think about him after that bullshit he pulled today.
You complimented each of your friends. Karina especially looked beautiful. Jake Sunghoon and Jay were also extremely handsome, as well as Yeonjun, but unfortunately, one person stood out to you the most, and as much as you tried not to look at him, you couldn't help it, your eyes were glued in his direction.
Heeseung looked so tall and slender. His hair was quaffed to perfection, his dangle earrings just pieced everything together so perfectly, and you were sure he'd smelled just as amazing as he looked in that all-black outfit. You just wished he wasn't such a dick. Otherwise, he'd be literally everything you looked for in a guy visually, anyways.
Heeseung originally wasn't even going to come to the party, but since you were avoiding him like the plague after the incident at the restaurant today, he changed his mind. Plus, Jake wouldn't stop begging him to go.
"Earth to y/n." Karina waved her hand in your face, and you snapped out of it, focusing your gaze on her instead of heeseung.
"O-oh hi," you stutter, and your cheeks immediately heat up, feeling embarrassed that you just got caught ogling your best friend's friend.
"See something, or should I say someone you like?" She teased, and you just playfully pushed her shoulder.
"No," she looks at you, obviously not convinced.
"Okay, fine." You pointed to the guy that was standing next to Heeseung, diverting her from thinking you were looking at him. The last thing you wanted was for your friends or Heeseung to think you liked him cause you didn't. He was just pretty, and that's all.
"Oh, that's Jeongin. Should I introduce you two?" She wiggles her brows with a playful smile.
"No, it's-"she cuts you off and takes your hand, leading you over to the two.
"Hi, jeongin," she giggles. Obviously, she had been drinking earlier from her seemingly carefree demeanor. "This is our new friend, y/n. Isn't she beautiful?" Your eyes slightly widened, and you smiled, trying to look as normal as possible despite Karina putting you on the spot.
He looks surprised upon seeing you both, and he smiles at you, showing one of the brightest smiles you ever saw but still nowhere near as bright as Jake's. "Very beautiful, beautiful name for a beautiful lady." he extends his hand for you to shake, and you do, shaking it gently as you give him a warm smile.
Heeseung looked at your touching hands, and it made him scoff because you didn't shake his hand when you first met him, not that he cared, but still. "I'm going to get another drink," he says rudely, leaving you three alone without saying hi to you.
Once Karina introduced the two of you, she left you both alone, probably thinking she was playing matchmaker or something, but you had zero interest in jeongin. You just made up a quick lie so you wouldn't be caught gawking at Heeseung, but he was really nice. You talked to him a bit more, telling him when you first got here and how you transferred. "How come I haven't seen you around?" You ask to keep the conversation going, and he goes on to tell you about him attending another school, but he comes to parties to catch up with Heeseung and some of his other friends.
Somewhere along the line, Jake and Sunghoon joined the conversation, and you all talked amongst yourselves about anything that came up in conversation.
You took a Quick Look around, and Karina was with some guy you had never seen before yeji was all hugged up with yeonjun, which explains why he was acting all flirty earlier, and now that you think about it, it wasn't really surprising since their interaction in the car plus she told you previously she had a crush on one of her guy friends so you assumed it was him.
You're not sure where heeseung went off to, and you made the mistake of surveying the area further, and you quickly found him he was all alone off in the corner with a cup in his hand, and you kinda felt bad about taking his friend away from him so you politely excused yourself to the bathroom so jeongin and him could finish catching up at some point tonight.
While you were freshening up in the bathroom, a few minutes later, you heard loud screams coming from the living room and people cheering and chanting chug chug chug you shook your head softly, wondering what was so fun about chugging beer.
Once you dried your hands off, you exited the bathroom to see what all the fuss was about. You weren't even five feet into the living room before people started shouting at you. "Chug, chug, chug!" You smile and shake your head, immediately declining, that is, until all your friends appear out of nowhere and start cheering you on too.
"Y/n! y/n! y/n!" Heeseung supposed it was fate you coming in and ruining his fun. He was the one that had previously shotgunned his beer, and everyone was cheering for him. That's until you came along.
Not only did you have to take his friend away from him, you had to take his moment away, too. When was it ever going to be good enough for you?
You quickly gave in to all the cheers and did something you never thought you'd do.
You poked a hole in the beer can, popping the cap open and chugging till all the beer was completely gone. Loud screams erupted from everyone, and seconds later, Jake threw you over his shoulder in excitement as everyone jumped up and down excitedly from your amazing chug, excluding Heeseung.
You tapped Jake on his back, telling him to set you down before you threw up everything you just drank. "Oh, sorry, I was just excited," he apologizes cutely.
"It's okay" you say and pat his shoulder to reassure him while trying to catch your breath. "I didn't think I could do that," you laugh, feeling a slight buzz in your head as everyone jumped to the music and cheered you on.
"Me neither," he chuckled in amazement. "Only heeseung can do that."
You forced a smile on your face upon hearing his name. You also heard a series of cheers, people muttering how someone so innocent-looking could drink so much, and other people talking about how they envied you and how cool you were.
Heeseung was at his rope's end, and he couldn't take it anymore. He approached you with a soft smile on his face, and for once, you actually thought he might have said something nice to you since everyone else was, but boy, you were so wrong. "Good job," he says sarcastically while dumping his full can of beer all over your head, ruining your dress for the second time today. He throws his can on the ground, leaving everyone stunned and speechless by his petty actions. He slams the door on his way out of the party, seething in anger.
Your friends all rushed to comfort them, but you ran off to the bathroom, completely and utterly embarrassed and hurt by the fact he'd do something so drastic. What have you ever done to him to get treated this way? Everything else up to this point was somewhat tolerable, but this was your breaking point. You just wanted to have a little fun, but apparently, that was impossible. Whenever Lee Heeseung was around, you cleaned up the sticky mess as much as you could, but you weren't going to stay at the party cause your night was ruined.
Ten minutes later, you came out. Jake and Yeji were waiting outside for you, and you told them you didn't want to talk about it and you just wanted to go home. "Sorry for ruining your night" you apologized.
"No need, and don't worry, I'll talk to Heeseung. I don't know why he'd do that. He's never acted like that before ever," she says, obviously confused.
You nod your head. You really don't care anymore. You just hoped from now on, he'd leave you alone once and for all.
-
"I was just drunk," heeseung pleads his case to Yeji, who was on his ass about last night. "I thought it might be funny" he lied through his teeth.
"That's not an excuse for what you did, and why would that be funny anyway?" She inquired.
"Fine, I'll do it," he agreed instead of telling her the real reason behind his actions. How could he tell her without sounding completely crazy? "But I was drunk. I just-"
"You had two beers!" Yeji yelled at heeseung and he shut his mouth real quick. "If you're not gonna tell me, just go apologize and stop wasting my time," she dismissed.
He whined and trudge over to where you were sitting all alone in the school library. "C-can I sit?" He stutters nervously.
"You do everything else you want, so I don't see why not," you answer coldly, but you don't care how rude you sound. He didn't deserve your kindness after all the shit he pulled yesterday.
"Whatever, I'm sorry for the other night," he said emotionlessly, not bothering to sit down.
You hummed in acknowledgment, and little did you know that he just ground his fucking gears cause even though he was talking to you and he was the only one around, you still weren't paying attention to him. Was he really just invisible to you? "I said" he closed the book you were looking at, forcing you to look up at him instead. "I'm sorry"
"Okay, what do you want me to do celebrate? Do a back flip?" He shook his head sighing deeply in frustration.
"You could at least fucking pay attention to me. Not everything is always about you, you know?" He agitatedly folded his arms.
"Oh, so that's what this is about. You're just upset 'cause you don't have my attention." You were just playing around with him, but little did you know you hit the nail right on the head.
"N-no, I'm not." his expression falters a bit.
You gasped like you had just made a world-changing discovery. "Hmm, mm, so is that why you're always spilling drinks on me? Embarrassing me so I can pay attention to you?"
"I seriously couldn't care less at all. I just came to apologize 'cause yeji forced me too," he huffs.
"You must care enough to always try and humiliate me.” he stared at you, saying absolutely nothing. "And why are you still standing there?" You question.
"Because you weren't paying atten-” he stops himself before he can finish, his eyes widening when he realizes what he was just about to say. "Just never mind. I don't care if you accept it or not. Just stay away from me.
"Last time I checked, it was you not staying away from me, Mr. I accidentally spilled my coffee," you say with finger quotes. Normally, you would have just accepted the apology and moved on, but you didn't cause he was just a flat-out asshole.
He wordlessly turns his back and walks away. You watch his figure slowly getting further away and shake your head, trying to understand what the heck is wrong with the enigma named Lee Heeseung.
"Did you do it?" Yeji asks when she sees Heeseung walking out of the library. His ears were tinted pink with embarrassment.
"Y-yes," he managed to squeak out in passing, going straight for the men's room so he could wash his face with cold water after embarrassing himself like that.
-
Since then, you and Heeseung hadn't come in contact with each other, safely managing to keep your distance, but that didn't stop you from getting your revenge and being petty as hell.
Whenever Heeseung would talk, you'd purposely interrupt him, taking the attention from him to you, and you didn't miss the annoyed glares he sent your way.
You'd always add in little rude comments under your breath or chuckle whenever he expressed interest in anything.
You admit you probably took things too far, but that's what he gets for not spilling one but three drinks on you, or at least you were convinced all those other times were on purpose.
You were attending another party cause you enjoyed last time minus beer being poured over your head and going home a sticky mess.
Of course, after getting settled in and having a few drinks, you just had to annoy heeseung. It was your daily mission to annoy him at least once a day and give him just a taste of his own medicine. You were already a bit tipsy, so the timing was perfect to say something reckless and not care by the end of the night, especially when you just saw him getting rejected for the second time tonight. Little did you know he was the one doing the rejecting. "Aww, poor little thing," you teased. "He's not getting any attention." You stood next to him in the kitchen, pouring yourself another drink.
He rolled his eyes and grabbed another beer, not in the mood for your bullshit. You'd been getting on his nerves a little too much lately. "Go away," he mumbled.
"Why? Aren't I giving you the attention that you crave?" You giggle, and he looks at you with that same agitation that he always had on his face whenever you were around. "Why the long face, baby?" You're blaming the alcohol for that one, but you can't lie. The shocked look on his face when you called him baby was actually so adorable.
"G-get out of here," he lightly nudged your shoulder with his elbow.
You continued teasing him, seeing just how far you could get under his skin. "Since I'm the only girl giving you attention, why not just take me home?"
"As if, I wouldn't touch you if you were the last girl on earth," he starts nervously gulping down his drink, hoping you wouldn't notice how flustered you were making him right now.
"Come on, it's just one night after all." You trail your hand up his forearm, taunting him.
"Y/n, are you being serious?" He gulped while looking at your hand, which was now slowly making its way towards his pec, and exhaled a shaky breath.
"Hmm," you hum, a seductive smile on your lips as you slip your hand inside his black button-up, brushing your hand over his nipple and sending shivers down his spine. "What do you say?"
"For real? Like right now?" He whispers and bites his lip, eyes already lidded with arousal.
This was the part where you were supposed to burst out laughing and tease him for being easy, but something in the way he looked at you made you fold. He made you fold so hard that nothing else mattered at this moment besides him taking you back to his place. "Yes," you say almost immediately, your fingers playing with the hardened bud under his shirt. You're not quite sure, but you could have sworn you heard him moan.
You probably should have said no, actually erase the probably you should have said no, but it's just one night and with the most attractive man you've ever seen, so you weren't going to pass this opportunity up even if it was a very stupid thing to do.
"Okay," he whispers, grabbing the hand that was inside his shirt and leading you out of the party, both of you praying none of your friends would see you leaving with your enemy.
Surprisingly, he opens his car door for you, making sure you're seated properly before closing the door and jogging over to the driver's side.
He starts the engine and puts his free hand on your thigh. His cold fingers on your bare skin made your body tingle with excitement. "I'm only doing this cause there's no one el-
"Save it, heeseung." You place his hand higher up your dress. He clenches his jaw when he feels the heat forming between your legs, trying to compose himself and safely get to his apartment.
"Hey, just letting you know you're not my first choice," he defends. You roll your eyes. You already know he was doing it cause you were the only girl available to him, not cause he actually liked you or was interested.
"Good to know." The rest of the drive is silent, but the mood is rising as he teases his fingertips along your panties, which have started to dampen.
"Hmm," you moan softly, head drifting back as he toys with your sensitive clit. You grip his wrist, lifting your hips to meet his palm and desperately rubbing yourself against his fingers.
"Fuck” he says under his breath, and he may or may not have hit the gas a little harder when he felt how sticky you had gotten down there.
His apartment was only like ten more minutes away, but it felt like ten hours with the way his cock was leaking and straining in his jeans.
Finally, he arrived, parking crookedly in the driveway cause he was starting to get extremely impatient.
He leads the way to his apartment, fumbling with his keys at the door, and you place your hand over his shaky one. Once you see him struggling, you guide the key straight into the hole and unlock it. He turns to look at you, silently thanking you as he opens the door and flicks the light on.
He quickly removed his shoes, and you followed suit, easily slipping off your flats, and a second barely passed before he picked you up like you weighed nothing and gently laid you down on his bed that was right around the corner.
You couldn't even get a good look at his apartment cause he was already straddling your lower body and unbuttoning his shirt above you.
Immediately, your gaze falls upon his lean torso, your eyes going lower to the prominent tent in his pants, and you impatiently rub your legs together at the sight. You could obviously see his size was above average.
He smiles to himself from your reaction, hands trailing up your thighs, kneading the soft flesh with his fingers, getting closer and closer to your core. Your breath hitches when he traces over your clit, after a few teasing touches to the sensitive bead. He retracts his hands. Your skirt had risen up enough for him to see the wet patch forming on your lavender panties, and the sight alone made his cock twitch in his jeans.
He bends down for a brief moment, resting his hands beside your head and pecking you one time on the lips. His body slithered down the bed until his face was just mere inches away from meeting your core. "So wet," he whispers and presses his lips on the wet spot, inhaling your scent.
"Hee," You arch your back legs, spreading them open for him as you absentmindedly give him the nickname. He looks up at you, eyebrows raised in amusement as you grip the sheets in pleasure.
"Yeah? Say my name again, baby." Much like you, the simple yet endearing pet name mindlessly leaves his lips as he sticks his tongue out, licking you over your panties.
"Hmm, hee." You moan his name. The feeling of his tongue teasing you through your clothes was already more than you could handle.
"Can I take these off?" He lightly tugs your skirt up a little more, his fingertips resting on the waistband of your underwear, waiting to go any further until you give him your permission.
"You're such a gentleman," you tease.
He rolls his eyes. "Is this okay?" He began carefully dragging your panties down, the air in his apartment, hitting your bare core.
“Yes, take them off, please.” You breathe out as your eyes slowly fall shut. He slides them all the way down to your ankles, leaning back and resting on his knees while lifting your leg to fully remove the lacy material. Your panties fall on the bed, leaving your lower half completely naked as he tilts his head sideways and kisses your ankle while gazing at you.
He groans at the sight of your bare pussy, simultaneously sticking out his tongue, licking from the heel of your foot to the base, and your eyes shoot open from the sensation it was unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before.
“So pretty,” he says low enough to where you can’t hear him and parts his lips taking your middle toe into his mouth, sucking on it sensually, and you couldn’t deny it was turning you on more than you’d like to admit.
He caressed your leg with his fingertips sucking just a little harsher drawing out the most sensual moans from you. He hummed, releasing your toe with a soft pop, slowly laying your leg down on the bed as the tip of your toes brushed across his broad chest before your leg met the mattress.
You were already breathing heavily even though he’d barely done anything to you yet, and you knew the moment he lays between your legs, you wouldn’t be able to control yourself.
He lays back down between your legs, hands moving to your thighs to spread you open as he licked your inner folds up and down, tasting your sweet liquid on his tongue. “So good” he squeezed your thighs, swallowing down your essence as his nose tickled your clit.
He guides his right hand to your entrance and presses his fingers against your hole, easily pushing inside cause how wet and relaxed you are. He hums lowly as your walls tense up on his fingers. “You like that, huh?” He whispers warm breath fanning your pussy as he sensually nudges his nose on your clit and then sucks it into his mouth, enjoying the little sounds of pleasure that you make for him.
“Oh yes,” you looked between your legs, watching the way he fingers your soaked pussy. Every time his fingers go in, they are coated in a new thick layer of arousal, making the lewdest sounds possible between your legs.
He looked so good eating you out. The way he’d eye you from time to time as he hit your spot made your eyes roll back in your head, and your legs shake uncontrollably.
The lewd groans that passed his wet swollen lips vibrated against your pussy, and you couldn’t help but cum on his fingers and tongue. It had only been three minutes if that, but you couldn’t hold it in. He was working his fingers inside you like magic. “Oh hee hmph fuck!” You breathe out, panting as your walls spasm around his digits, and you cum without warning.
“Yes, baby cum in my mouth just like that,” he whispers as you buck your hips on his digits while he guides you through your state of bliss, gently sucking your delicate clit.
You instinctively clamp your legs close well as much as you can, with him being between them. He rubs over your mound, kissing your thighs until your orgasm fades away, and it is quite possibly the best one you’ve ever had.
He sat up, licking the remnants of you off his lips while undoing his jeans, the top of his Calvin’s peeking over the waistband of his pants as he slowly lowered them around his knees.
You propped yourself up, your face inches away from his crotch as you looked up at him through your lashes, your eyes wide and innocent looking as you experimentally placed your hand over his cock, your touch so soft and light that if he wasn’t so sensitive down there, he wouldn’t have even felt it.
He groaned softly, brows knitted together from your slight touch.
You caressed his shaft over the material of his underwear while circling his waist with your arm, bringing his body closer to yours.
You kissed the outline of his cock, easily finding the tip through the thin fabric of his boxers and pressing your warm lips against it. “Ahh,” he hisses and places his hand on the back of your head, stroking it softly.
The hand around his waist drops to his thigh, squeezing softly as you place wet kisses all over his twitching dick. “Tease much?” He chuckled through a moan, his head drifting to the side as he watched your lips pressing softly against his hard-on.
You froze at his words. You weren’t intentionally teasing him. You were just scared to make the next move. “I-I’ve never,” you trail off shyly, silently praying he’d get what you were insinuating.
“Really?!” He sounds like he’s shocked, and you don’t know if that’s a bad or good thing, but you take it as good and move on. “I mean, we can skip this part if it makes you uncomfortable, baby.” he looks down at you, stroking your cheek with his thumb softly.
You shook your head back and forth cause you wanted to go down on him the same way he did for you and return the favor.
“No? Okay,” he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want it, but he’d never push for it if it made you feel apprehensive in any way.
“N-no, I want to. I just,” you sighed from your inexperience, feeling a little embarrassed and disappointed with yourself for your lack of knowledge about this. “Can you show me how?”
“You want me to show you how I like it?” You nod immediately after his question, and he hops off the bed, lowering his pants all the way and taking them off. He reaches into his bedside drawer, grabbing a condom, and placing it on his nightstand for later use.
He took your spot on the bed, lying against the frame, feeling honored that you’re letting him be your first. “Come here,” he beckons you closer with his index and middle finger. You crawled next to him, and he placed his hand on your lower back, bringing you in for a quick make-out session to ease you into it, and he was a really good kisser. You were already aching for him just from the feeling of his tongue playing with yours.
He pulled away, leaving you wanting more, with a look of desire in his eyes. His lips were shiny with a mix of his and your spit, and you settled yourself between his legs, your hands shaking slightly as you pulled his hard cock out from the confines of his underwear. He was hot and pulsing to the touch, and the lamp on his nightstand highlighted the head of his cock that was shining with precum. “Go at your own pace, baby,” he says softly when he notices the slight nervous look in your eyes, and his words almost immediately calm you down. He leaned back a little and rested his arms behind his head, getting comfortable as you slowly stroked his dick up and down. “Yeah, just like that,” he whispers and closes his eyes, letting you do what you’re comfortable with.
You unknowingly lick your lips at the sight, mouth almost dripping saliva. As your body reacted on its own, you lowered your head and eagerly suckled the precum off his tip.
His body tensed from the sudden sensation, and when you heard him groan, you quickly halted your movements.
“Sorry,” you say sheepishly and just above a whisper.
“No, no, I liked that,” he assures you and places his hand over yours, helping you get used to the motion of stroking him off. “Suck on it some more,” he says as he gets comfortable once again.
You repeated your actions, wrapping your lips around his wide cock head where more precum was already leaking out.
“Hmm yeah fuck” he closed his eyes, head tilting back as you sucked him off. “Sure this is your first?”
You hum in response, your mouth obviously too busy with his hard wet cock to respond with your words.
“Shit, your fucking mouth feels so good, baby. Don’t even gotta teach you,” he says, and that just makes you take him down your throat, eager to impress him more. “Oh fuck!” He whimpers and looks down at his dick buried almost balls deep in your mouth. “Y/n,” he moans your name weakly, and you swear your pussy dripped at just the sound of his pleasured voice.
You stroked the base of his cock, squeezing slightly as you swirled your tongue on the tip licking up the fresh precum that continued to seep out.
His hips jerked up off the bed, abs tensing as you hollowed your cheeks and lodged his tip in the back of your throat. It was so tight and so warm that he couldn’t hold off from cumming. “Keep sucking me, baby. I'm so close fuck, where do you want it?” He squirmed in the bed, staving off as long as possible before he came.
You only make a sound of approval, the pace of your movements naturally increasing the more vocal he gets, and soon he was moaning out so loud as warm spurts of cum gushed inside your mouth and coated your tongue. “Hmph,” you moan around his dick, eyes rolling back to the back of your head as his cum streamed down your throat.
“Fuck yes,” he pants, his cum still filling your mouth, and he tasted so good you swallowed every single drop for his and your pleasure before you pulled off of his throbbing dick, still stroking him through his high until he was finished in your mouth.
He was breathing heavily. Mouth parted just enough for whiny little moans to slip out. “Fuck me,” he huffs as you pull away, kissing his tip one last time. “That felt so good,” he says, voice still a little hoarse from moaning so loudly.
His eyes were lidded, his forehead covered in sweat as he reached for the condom on the nightstand, carefully opening the package.
You eyed the condom packet, not all too excited about using one cause you wanted to feel him raw, completely bare, nothing but the feeling of him deep inside of you.
He placed the rubber on his tip and began to slide it down his shaft, but you interrupted him before he could get it on. “No condom,” you whisper, taking it from his hands and tossing it to the floor.
“You wanna do it raw?” He asked to make sure it was what you really wanted, and you nodded, placing a few soft kisses on his thighs. If you were okay with it, so was he. He’d be an absolute idiot to say no to feeling you raw. “Okay, then, pretty girl, lie down for me, yeah?” You lie down, and he gripped the top of your dress, easily sliding it up your body. Pleasantly surprised when he saw you braless, he bit his lip at the sight of your perfect breasts and dragged the material all the way off your body, leaving you completely naked as he maneuvers on his bed, kicking off his boxers before laying on top of you both your clothes now discarded and strewn across his bedroom floor.
He lined himself up with you perfectly, slowly rubbing himself on your pussy, wetting his cock in your essence as your lips came together in a messy kiss.
He hums into your mouth, fully indulging in the way you suck on his bottom lip, and nibble on it slightly.
You wrapped your legs around his waist, hands on his pecs as he rolled his hips, pressing his tip on your hole. He looks at you for confirmation, when you nod and whisper a quiet yes. He immediately slips in, his tip dipping inside your little wet hole. He takes it nice and slow, filling you up inch by pleasuring inch, easing himself within your heat until he bottomed out and stuffed you perfectly with his thickness. “So f-full heeseung,” you breathe out, your legs feeling numb already, and he hasn’t even moved yet.
He gripped your thighs, slowly bucking his hips forward, giving you time to get used to the feeling of him stroking inside you. “Fuck you’re so wet” his length throbs inside you, and he could feel he was already so close to cumming your walls, so hot and slick, welcoming him in with no resistance.
You squirm in his bed, still getting used to his size, as he rolls his hips steadily.
He bites his lip and hikes your legs up to your chest, pushing them up with his palms so you can feel him deeper on this angle. The way you gasp from the intrusion makes his cock throb even harder, and he can’t help but feel good knowing he’s the one making you feel so much pleasure. “This feel okay?” He asks with a shaky breath, making sure you’re still feeling good and comfortable. Too bad he wasn’t like this with you outside of the bedroom cause if he was, you’re sure you would have fallen for him by now.
“Perfect, hee” his abs and v lines looked so good while he rocked his hips fucking his cock deeper and deeper into your wet cunt.
He takes your ankle in his hand once again, bringing your foot to his mouth so he can suck on your pretty toes while fucking your sweet pussy. His eyes fall shut, moaning in delight as he partakes in every square inch of your body.
“Oh god,” you whimper pussy tightly squeezing around him from the pleasure.
You locked eyes with him, and you could’ve cum from his stare alone. You never thought it would be so hot to fuck someone that you were at odds with.
You trailed your hands along his sides until they met his sweaty chest, and you gave into temptation pinching his hard nipples between your fingers as he pounded your cunt, going even faster with the added stimulation of your fingers.
He moans around your toes, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he drills your cunt his thighs slapping against yours and his balls hitting your ass with every rough slam of his hips.
Drool pools in his mouth, as his head craned to the side, and it was getting to be just too much for him to handle. He felt himself twitching within your warmth, knowing he was seconds away from his breaking point. “Shit,” he pulled away from your toes a bit reluctantly and lowered himself down on his elbows as he stroked your silky wet walls. “Baby?” He breathes out quickly, feeling closer and closer with every hot pulse of your perfect pussy. “where should I cum?” He whines and rests his forehead against yours.
You wrapped your arms around him, fingernails digging into his upper back as he bottoms out over and over again.
He reaches his hand down, thumb flicking your engorged clit. “Cum in me, heeseung, please,” you begged him, desperately wanting nothing more than to cum around his cock and have him fill you up to the brim.
“Want me to cum in it, yeah? Fill that little pussy, huh? Stuff you full of me?” He groans, the dirty talk going straight to his sensitive dick, and all it takes for him to cum is the sound of your pleading voice.
“Yes, yes, yes,” you chant with your lips pursed in pleasure. A few more deep strokes, and you both reach the end as he circles your clit you and him finishing right at the same time. “Hee, I’m coming,” you cry out, and he attacks your lips, muffling your noises with his hot, messy kisses.
“Me too, baby,” he pants while moaning into your mouth. The two of you are barely even kissing at this point, just exchanging saliva and heavy breaths as he fills you up and your walls milk him for every last ounce of his creamy cum.
The pulsations between your body reach their peak, and you both sigh in pleasure, low whines leaving your lips as the sensitivity starts to settle in. He slows his pace, stroking you through your orgasm, his fingers slowing as well, careful not to over-stimulate you. “Oh, y/n, you feel so good, I’m cumming so much,” he whispers in your mouth, still messily kissing you in between broken words.
“Hee,” You placed your hands on his butt pulling him closer to you, making him fill you up to the absolute brim with his cock and cum.
He breaks the kiss, face falling into the crook of your neck as you both try to catch your breaths.
You both laid their pupils dilated and bodies shaking, feeling numb from the euphoria overtaking your mind, body, and senses.
“Shit,” heeseung sighs as he slowly pulls out of you, watching your clenching hole drip his release and if it wasn’t the most beautiful sight to him.
He rolls over on his back, staring up at the ceiling for a few moments. “That was actually so amazing,” he chuckled to himself.
“Actually?” You scoffed, and just like that, he was back to his assholish self, not to say you cared. The sex was great, and that’s all tonight was about anyways, not your guy's beef or his shitty attitude. “It wasn’t too bad,” you reply, and now it’s his turn to look at you and scoff.
“What do you mean “not too bad?” you shrugged.
“It means what I said.” he shakes his head in disbelief, wondering why you had to put up a front when you obviously enjoyed it, but whatever.
“Should I drive yo-” Before he could finish, you were already on top of him, straddling his waist.
“I think you should fuck me again,” you smirk, feeling bold suddenly as you trail a finger down his chest to his abs.
He grabbed your waist easily, flipping you over on your back and getting on top of you, pressing his lips on yours. “You sure it was just “not bad?” He says against your lips, teasing you with his words.
“I might need a little refresher,” you said playfully, and he laughed, reconnecting his lips with yours.
Let’s just say you made a personal record of how many times you both made each other cum that night.
-
You woke up in Heeseung’s bed, the light shining from behind his white sheer curtains blinding your eyes. You immediately closed them, grabbing the sheets and covering up. You groaned softly as you stretched out, all the events from last night rushing through your mind, and you didn’t regret not one bit of it.
Heeseung naturally woke up from the unusual ruckus, rolling over on his side and seeing you lying in bed next to him.
He rubs the sleep from his eyes, muscles aching from how much energy he exerted on your body last night. He might have gone a little longer than he should have, but it was so worth it. Your pussy was like heaven even when he went soft, he couldn’t help but get hard again and again, and again you and your body were just too fucking perfect for him to sto-
“Eww,” you say upon seeing his sleepy face. It was the furthest thing from Eww, he looked even more handsome in the morning, but you said it just to annoy him.
He sighs, deciding not to fight with you this early, and sits up, blinking the sleep away from his eyes as they fall on his nightstand clock. Needless to say, you were both already running late for class. “Shit, we’re gonna be late,” he groans and extends his arms stretching out his muscles while yawning.
Your eyes widened, and you quickly ripped off the sheets, springing out of his bed, hoping you wouldn’t be tardy after only being there for a short period of time.
Heeseung did the same, neither of you caring about the other. Seeing your naked body, you saw literally every single inch of each other last night from probably every angle, so it didn’t much matter.
You both haphazardly threw on your clothes, trying your absolute best to arrive on time. “I have a spare toothbrush in the bathroom,” he mentions, sleep still in his eyes as he pulls up his pants, and you quickly run to the bathroom before him to relieve yourself.
He shook his head in disbelief that you automatically helped yourself to his bathroom, but he was too tired to give you a piece of his mind.
You quickly swung the door open when you finished, and Heeseung joined you soon after, standing beside you. You couldn’t help but blush from all the marks you left all over his chest last night.
Luckily, he was too occupied washing his face to notice your obvious stare, and you’re thankful for it.
You both brushed your teeth in silence, heeseung squeezing a dollop of toothpaste on the toothbrush he gave to you, and you’re sure he’s just tired, and that’s why he did that cause the heeseung you know, would never do anything nice for you if anything he probably would have squirted it all over your head knowing him.
Once his teeth were all clean, he slathered some deodorant under his armpits and sprayed some cologne. You couldn’t blame him for not taking a shower, though, cause if he did, then he’d definitely be late, which in turn would make you late cause he was your ride, and you couldn’t have that happening.
After you both somewhat put yourselves together, you left his appartment getting into his car, and making a quick pit stop to your house on the way there to get your supplies. Then, after that you were headed to your destination.
Heeseung soon pulled up to the front of the school to drop you off first, and you unbuckled your belt, quickly exiting his car. “Don’t follow me inside” you point your finger at him and he rolls his eyes.
“I wouldn’t want to be caught dead next to you,” he replies harshly as you slam his door shut. He shook his head in disbelief and found a parking space after dropping you off at the door.
As soon as you enter, you see your group of friends waiting for you both at the gate. You went to them first, and Heeseung was trailing after you just minutes later, which looked kinda suspicious and even more suspicious because you both looked wrecked, but at least you were on time.
“Hey, you two finally made it.” Jay was the first to greet you both.
“You two look like shit,” Jake adds with a chuckle.
“Thanks,” you and Heeseung both say and glare at him at the same exact time.
“Woah,” Jake chuckled and put his hands up in defense.
“Where did you both go? I saw you at the party, but I didn’t see you leave,” Yeji asks, concerned. “And you didn’t even text me,” she pouts.
“Sorry,” You gave Heeseung a look, trying to come up with something other than the truth cause if you told them what actually happened last night, you’re not sure if you could ever show your face again. There’s no way they’d let it go, especially Jake.
“She got too drunk like an idiot, and I gave her a ride home,” Heeseung says nonchalantly.
“That doesn’t explain why you’re both here at the same time,” Karina said, raising a suspicious brow.
“Her parents were asleep, so she spent the night at mine,” he tells a little white lie.
“Ahh,” she nods in understanding. “So, does this mean you two are good now?” Karina wonders.
“NO!” You both yell at the same time again, and they all look at you, smiling teasingly.
“Look, it’s so cute they even say the same thing together,” Yeonjun cooed.
“Do you not remember this bastard literally embarrassed me and poured beer all over my head at the party 'cause I took the spotlight off him?” You say through gritted teeth.
“If you weren’t busy being a fucking attention whore that would have never happened” heeseung rolls his eyes.
“Me? Says the guy who can’t eve-“
“Okay, okay,” Yeji breaks it up. Class would be starting soon, and there was no need for the drama. “He apologized. What’s in the past is in the past. If you guys can’t get close, then fine, but just be civil with each other.”
“Tell that to her. She’s the one always starting it,” Heeseung rebuttals.
“Wait, when did this start?” Sunghoon whispers, scratching his head, confused as to when you and Heeseung became enemies.
“After the first party,” Jake whispered back, and Sunghoon nodded in understanding, watching you both go back and forth like toddlers.
“How? You’re the one tha-“
“GUYS!” Yeji cuts you off again, causing you and Heeseung both to let out a long sigh.
“Whatever,” you slung your bag on your arm, going to your first class before you were late, and unfortunately, heeseung would be there with you too. “You’re such a fucking liar,” you say as you walk side by side, forced to be in his company after you walk away from your friends.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he smiles brightly. “Should I have told them we fucked each other like animals all night long, and I have marks to prove it?” He replies sarcastically, his fake smile immediately disappearing.
You cringe at his choice of words, but it was true. “Not that you idiot, I’m talking about you saying I started whatever this is between us.”
“You did,” he shrugs, and before you explode, you enter class. unfortunately, the only free seat is next to him, and your day was already ruined before it even started.
-
The whole day, it was like you couldn’t avoid him. He was literally everywhere being annoying with that ugly, rotten attitude of his.
“Oh, my goodness, shut up,” you groan in annoyance when you hear him going on and on about his rank in a video game. You were just trying to study your notes at lunch in the cafeteria, but he just kept going. You supposed you could have gone to the library, but he could have also shut the fuck up.
“Why don’t you shut up? No one is even talking to your ass,” he snaps back, 'cause this time, he couldn’t just let you get away with being a total bitch to him.
“Exactly, so leave. Go talk somewhere else.” You rolled your eyes.
“Why don’t you go somewhere else? Pretty sure you won’t be missed, especially by me,” he argued back.
“Funny coming from the guy who was literally bothering me all morning,” he laughs in disbelief. You literally did that to him, and now that he did it back to give you a taste of your own medicine, you were making it sound like he was the one with the problem.
“Oh shut up,” he replies while your group of friends just laugh at the situation. You both sounded like five-year-olds having a fight on the playground.
“You shut up,” you reply, and of course, he had to have the last word.
“You shut up.”
“Ugh,” you rubbed your temples, feeling a headache coming on, and you just got up to go to the library instead of hearing another word from this walking pile of heaping garbage.
But before that, Jay had to say quite literally the stupidest shit a person could ever say. “You guys are cute together.”
“What the fuck, Jay? Whose side are you on?” Heeseung angrily replied.
“Jay, take that back before I hurt you.” You held your backpack up, making it look like you were going to hit him with it.
He laughs and puts his hands up, surrendering to your wrath. “Woah woah, I’m on side, heey/n.”
“ME TOO!” Karina shouts out of nowhere before burying her head in her hands, trying to soothe her hangover from last night.
“I second,” Sunghoon joins in, which is just great. He was mainly quiet, but now even he had to get himself into it, which you didn’t appreciate.
“I third,” Yeonjun saluted for who knows what reason.
“I forth,” Jake said, and you felt utterly betrayed cause he always had your back, or at least you thought so.
“Jay!” You and Heeseung say at the same time, with the same tone and same expression, and neither of you could understand why all of them were suddenly entertained by Jay’s stupidity.
“See?! You’re both Perfect for each other.” Jay smiles and claps his hands excitedly.
“I think you’re onto something,” Yeji agrees.
“And here I am thinking I have a best friend, tsk.” You yanked up your bag and headed to the library for some peace and quiet cause not only was Heeseung being stupid, but so were your friends. You’d sooner kiss dirt before liking him.
“What the hell is her problem? How are you even friends with it?” Heeseung asks seriously.
“I think it’s all just a big misunderstanding, and you should talk it out like adults,” Jake suggested, and Yeonjun snorted loudly at the unfathomable idea.
“When cows fly,” heeseung watched you leaving the cafeteria in disgust with his arms folded.
“I’ll have you know it’s actually when pigs f-“
“It’s all the same shit!” heeseung agitatedly cut Jake off mid-speech.
“Well, no, he’s actually right cause cows a- “
“Karina, are you or are you not still hungover?” Heeseung closes his eyes, taking a deep breath while trying to compose himself.
“Yes”
“Then maybe, and this is just a thought.” Heeseung turns to glare at her. “Stop talking.”
“I’ll get right on it, Jake,” she replies to Heeseung in all seriousness, and he can only sigh before resuming his conversation with Sunghoon about his little video game because he had given up on the rest of them for today.
-
Days like that persisted on and on. It was nonstop bickering from you two, so much so that your friends even got a headache whenever you were both together at lunch. At first, they all thought it was cute, but now that it was an everyday occurrence, it wasn’t so cute anymore.
“I liked it better when you two didn’t talk to each other,” Jay groans while covering his ears, but his words are drown out by your endless arguments.
“Just do me a favor and stop talking to me.” You folded your arms and turned your head to the side, ignoring heeseung.
Heeseung’s eyes softened a bit, but his words remained just as harsh. “Okay, and please do the same for me 'cause I’m tired of putting up with you.”
The table suddenly got all quiet, and you heard someone clear their throat after a few seconds.
“So it’s Sunday in a few days,” Yeonjun announced. “You know what that means.”
“PARTY!” everyone shouts, but you and heeseung, you both turned and slightly looked at each other, remembering the events of the last party before turning away and popping your mouths at each other.
“You’re coming again, right heeseung?” He nodded his head to Jake’s question, his mind a little too preoccupied with what had happened between you and him last time.
“Alright, full house, and Jay is the designated driver this time!” Yeonjun exclaimed and jay rolled his eyes at the news. “At least serve me fruit punch” he sulks.
“All you can drink,” Jake pats the sulking boy on his shoulder.
-
The party definitely wasn’t as good as last time, maybe because it wasn’t new to you anymore or maybe it really wasn’t as good as the first one, who knows.
You talked with Jeongin a bit, as well as your other friends, but after about an hour, it was getting to be pretty boring. And you already wanted to go home, but since you didn’t have a ride, you just waited it out a bit cause you didn’t want to ruin everyone’s fun.
“What do you know? Your mouth is finally shut.” Heeseung walks over to you for the sole purpose of annoying you, or at least that’s what it seems like to you.
“What do you know? You’re annoying me again,” he chuckled as he took a seat next to you.
“So much for keeping your mouth shut,” he sighed.
“Heeseung, you’re the one who’s talking to me. Don’t you think it’s you who needs to keep your mouth shut?” You said and tilted your head back, taking the last swig of your stale-tasting beer.
“Shut it for me then,” he stated nonchalantly and sipped from his blue solo cup. He made sure no one else was watching before he gripped your wrist and placed your hand on his upper thigh, stroking it softly as he bit his lip at the contact. “Come on, we both know you can,” he entices you.
You didn’t see why you shouldn’t accept the offer. It’d be a thousand percent better than drinking cheap beer and sitting by yourself, and bonus points cause Heeseung wouldn’t be annoying you all night. “Lead the way.”
-
“Fuck baby, keep going, that’s it, keep fucking going,” heeseung cursed from the way you were making him feel. Your pretty, plump lips wrapped around his thick cock while you lay between his legs was a sight to see. The image alone made his dick jump in excitement as you sucked him off like it was your favorite thing to do. “Mouth is finally doing something useful, baby,” You rolled your eyes at him, and even though your mouth was full of cock you still found a way to give him attitude. “Wow,” he laughs in disbelief.
You wanted him to shut his stupid mouth, so you cupped his balls, caressing them softly while lapping at his tip, something you noticed that drove him absolutely crazy. “Ah ah fuck!” he moans, hands clutching the sheets while you kiss the sensitive head of his dick. You hum in satisfaction, your other hand stroking his shaft up and down while you hollow your cheeks and slurp on his cock, taking it in your throat inch by inch. “Oh yeah, y/n, just like that,” he pants, his sweaty abs tensing as he feels warmth building in his lower abdomen. “Uh oh god,” he throws his head back against the bed frame, a soft thud following after. “Cumming” he breathes out, eyes rolling back in his skull as you suck him dry, pumping his base until his balls are empty and your mouth is full. “Slower fuck, p-please slower,” he begs softly, the sensitivity becoming too much for him. You gradually decrease your pace, caressing his length until his orgasm fades, and of course, you have to swallow his delicious cum.
“So good,” you whisper. You just can’t help yourself from saying it as you lick your lips clean of his release.
He smiles almost shyly while you practically savor the taste of him on your tongue, and if he had to guess, he’d say you enjoyed that as much as he did. “Wanna switch?” You shake your head no cause it wasn’t necessary for him to give you head just cause you gave it to him, but apparently, that’s not how he saw it. “Wanna return the favor though, Can I eat you out?” he slowly runs his fingers down your spine while he awaits your answer. “Please?”
“I’d be a fool to say no,” he grins while you switch positions. He levels his face with your cunt getting ready to make you cum in his mouth over and over again.
-
He didn’t just eat you out. He made you cum on his tongue three times while his thick fingers fucked you open for the main event.
You were shaking in pleasure, tears almost falling from your eyes cause his mouth felt too good. He sucked your clit fingered your sloppy hole and licked you absolutely clean, and he did a lot more than just return the favor. By the time you came for him the third time, you could have sworn you were on cloud nine.
“Shit, baby could eat you out all day,” he says after licking your hole one last time, making sure not a drop of your precious essence went to waste.
You would let him, too, cause it felt so good you could just imagine waking up and having him eat you out first thing in the morning. Now, that would be a way to start your day. “Hee,” you moan, running your hand through his damp hair.
He climbs over you, puckering his lips for a kiss, and you gladly accept quiet smacking sounds filling up his room, and you can’t ignore the feeling of his erect cock brushing against your thigh.
He repositioned himself, hands beside your head as he humped against your clit, drawing out the cutest of sounds from you. “Hurry, hee, put it in,” you whine and dig your fingers into his chest, desperate to feel him inside you already.
“Little demanding, aren’t we?” He teases his tip right where you need him most, but he doesn’t push his hips forward just yet.
“Just shut up and stick it in,” you respond, not in the mood for his games when you were in bed with him and you needed him this bad.
“So annoying.” he rolls his eyes, sheathing himself within you, setting a pleasuring pace from the start.
You gasped from the sudden invasion, but soon, you relaxed, allowing him to push in all the way to the hilt. You felt like one with how he molded himself so deep within you, the shape of his cock filling up every single inch of your walls perfectly. “Fuck” you huff out a short breath. “Hee,” your hands run along his chest. The marks you left before still not healed, but he’d be more than okay if you gave him new ones cause it would just solidify that he was fucking you right.
“You get so fucking wet for me,” he grunts, watching himself going in and out, his fingers digging into the sheets. “Look at it” he lifts the back of your head up from his pillows, making you watch him go balls deep in your pussy. “Making a mess for my dick, pussy just begging to be fucked”
“Yes, heeseung, please fuck me harder,” you beg with no shame.
He speeds up his movements right away, the bed frame rocking against the wall as he ruthlessly fucks into you. “Gonna fuck you so deep” he grips your hips, going at it with hard, precise thrust hitting that spot that makes you go crazy. “Feel good?” He can tell it does by the faces you make. “You love it fast and deep, huh?“
You nod frantically, anticipating everything he’s about to do to you. “Fuck me, heeseung fuck me,” you whine senselessly, which only turns him on even more.
Skin-on-skin echoes in the room, the wet, sticky sounds between your bodies making the act even hotter.
He quickens his pace even more, dick fucking into you so hard and fast you barely get a moment to catch your breath.
And just like that, out of nowhere, your orgasm builds at the speed of light. “Heeseung,” you mewl, hands gripping tightly on his biceps, and your fingers dig into the flesh, leaving little red indents in his skin just like he wanted.
“Yeah, pretty?” He answers, his face going to your neck to lightly suck on the skin but careful not to leave any marks.
“Need to cum” he moans softly, hand trailing down to play with your clit so you can cum even faster.
“I have you, baby,” he pants, circling your bud and massaging your walls with his perfect cock head. “Don’t hold it in, baby. Show me how much you like it.” Your legs instinctively tighten around his waist, unable to stop your muscles from contracting around him. You make incoherent sounds, begging him to pound into you harder and harder. “Harder? Such a dirty girl,” he giggles, using his full strength to plunge as deep in you as possible, kissing your cervix with his tip until your mouth hangs wide open, and the only thing that comes out is high-pitched moans of his name. “Feels so fucking good, shit, y/n, love this pussy so much,” he chokes out, sweat beads cascading down his body, his arms flexing as he drills you just the way you been craving for all week, even though you wouldn’t admit it, you could still feel his cock in you days later that’s just how good he was. “Cum with me” he kissed your lips, stilling inside you while he throbbed with every drop of cum he put inside you.
“Yes,” you mumble on his lips, hissing in pleasure, your hands stroking his muscular arms as your high takes over, and your moans sound so lewd, so loud, so filthy, but he loved every last second of it.
“There you go,” he whispers, his hot, heavy breath fanning your flushed cheeks.
“Hee,” you tremble in pleasure, body overwhelmed with the many orgasms he gave to you, and feeling his warm cum spilling inside you was just the icing on the cake.
He exhaled a deep breath, wincing in overstimulation as he pulled out. You both parted from each other, taking a minute to rest and catch your breaths.
Neither of you say it, but you both think about doing that again and again and again.
-
The bickering doesn’t end, and neither does the sex and as time goes on, things only amplify between the two of you, much to your friend's horror.
“I thought I told you not to talk to me,” you say to Heeseung, who was annoying you at lunch just cause he could.
“Maybe I would if you weren’t staring at me like you fucking hate me,” he tsked.
“Well, at least you have one thing right, I do fucking hate you” Heeseung turns to you with a different expression on his face than the usual annoyed one, and for once, he doesn’t fight back. He just keeps his mouth shut and looks down at his barely touched-lunch.
The table goes awkwardly silent, and no one says anything after that for about a solid minute or three, give or take.
“W-whatever,” heeseung clears his throat and grabs his backpack to leave cause the air suddenly felt too stuffy for him to be in.
“Well, that was a bit much,” Yeji says.
“Agreed,” Jake whispers quietly. “He kinda looked like he was hurt.”
“Much? He throws beer on my head, and no one says anything, but I say I hate him, and that’s a bit much. And his feelings are hurt? What about my feelings?” You scoff in disbelief.
“I don’t know. I mean, hate is such a strong word, you know?” Jake replied.
Enough of this, you thought to yourself and moved on to a topic that wasn’t stressful.
“Anyways, do you guys want to come with me? I have to go shopping later.” You start packing your things and getting ready to leave for your upcoming class.
“DOWN!” Jake shouts, and you chuckle.
Thank goodness you’d have some company because then that would keep your mind off that six-foot thing named Heeseung.
-
As much as you wanted him off your mind when Sunday rolled around and you made eye contact with him at yet another party, you couldn’t help yourself. Sex quickly became a routine for you both. Neither of you are the party type to begin with, but you both attended because you knew one another would be there and it would be quick access to sex, so it only makes sense to go to these events link up and go back to his place to fuck each other all night long.
“Hurry, hee,” you say breathlessly as he undoes his pants and pulls them down swiftly, tossing them in the pile of your guys discarded clothes.
He chuckled softly. “For someone who hates me, you sure want me pretty bad,” he gets on top, holding the base of his cock and rubbing your clit with his wet tip.
“Be quiet and fuck me. That’s the only thing you’re good at, and for the record, I don’t want you, just your dick” You gripped the pillows behind your head, back arching as your body heats up with want the longer he teases his tip on your clit.
“You get on my fucking nerves,” he slides it in, leaving you both breathless, and despite the fact that these hookups have been going on for a little over a month, you just can’t get enough of the way he feels so deep inside you, and he can’t get enough of how well you take him and how wet you get just from his single touch.
“Apparently not enough.” Your head falls back as your body relaxes under his.
“That makes two of us,” he breathed out, hoisting your legs on his shoulders as he bucks his hips forward extremely slow, giving you deep strokes until you’re panting and begging him for more. “More? I’m already giving it to you, sweetheart. What more could you possibly want?” He smirks down at your flustered face, and he finds it impossible not to think you looked so beautiful under him, taking every last inch of his hard dick.
“Hee,” you whine, tugging on his blankets. The slow pace was killing you. Your body was overheating. You could feel little tingles all over your skin, and all you wanted was for him to take you raw and make you cum on his cock over and over again as he filled your hole with his cum.
“Hmm, baby?” He leans down and kisses your lips softly. His hands knead the sweaty flesh of your thighs as he slides in and out, his whole shaft slick and creamy with your wetness.
He continues to watch you struggle under him. You try to find the words, but every time you go to speak, he takes your breath away by thrusting particularly hard, only to slow back down and have you on the verge of tears from all his teasing.
“Hee pl-oh god,” Your body tenses, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you slowly get drunk off the feeling of his cock. Your walls were hot and pulsating, begging for him to make you cum, but he didn’t. He kept his slow pace till you completely fell apart for him.
“Hee-“ you gulp down your words, barely able to even keep your eyes open at this point. “F-fuck me harder, please,” You clenched around him so tight a deep groan emitted from his chest.
“Harder?” He picks up his pace ever so slightly, but you can’t complain. At least he was alleviating some of the ache between your legs. “Like this?”
“Hmm yeah, just like that,” you speak up, finally forming something coherent after getting a bit of relief, but your walls still ached to be fucked hard and raw.
“Yeah? Just like that?” He digs his fingers into your hips, holding you still while snapping his hips into you.
“Fuck yes, heeseung, oh my god, so good,” you whimper, muscles tensing with every thrust.
He grunts at your words, sweat slowly building on his hairline.
“So fucking big” You bite your lip, lost in pleasure and far beyond return. “Harder, harder, harder,” you punctuated the words every time he touched your cervix with the head of his cock, and he didn’t disappoint. He immediately started giving it to you harder, just the way you wanted.
Your toes automatically curled when he pulled his cock halfway out, only to slam it back in, making you see stars with each thrust. “Oh fuck” he says shakily, his rhythm slowly decreasing. How could it not when your cunt was sucking him in. “Hard enough?” There’s a soft smirk on his lips, and at this point, you’re at his mercy. The only thing you can do is nod your head, too fucked out to reply with anything other than his name. “Heeseung,” you chant his name over and over again, reminding him with every thrust that he was the one behind your immense pleasure. “I guess so,” he teased, and you wanted to say something smart in return, but you were just too far gone. He had you wrapped around his finger and around his cock. “Aww, come on, y/n, you always have something to say, don’t you? Always cutting me off at school and demeaning me whenever I talk. Where did that go to, hmm?”
You turn your head, the feeling of embarrassment creeping up on you, but he quickly grips your chin, tilting your head towards him, forcing you to look him in the eyes while you take his dick and his condescending words. “Stop,” you whisper, but your walls clench around him, saying otherwise.
“What happened to all the cold glares? You say you hate me, but I’m sure somewhere deep down you’re always thinking about me having you just like this fucking you hard and deep, filling you up so well you can’t even speak. Look at you so fucking desperate for my cock” he breathed through his nose, trying to steady his breath cause this was exciting him to no end. Seeing you so embarrassed but so needy for his cock made him go absolutely feral fucking into you so fast you almost couldn’t even take it. “Yeah, silent now, huh? Maybe you should try that more o-often.” Those are the last words he speaks to you until he goes completely wild, and all you can do is lay there limp and clutching tightly on his shoulders, little whines coming from your pursed lips when his tip bumps your cervix repeatedly.
“Cum-“ he lowers his body on top of you, shutting you up with a kiss.
“I know, I know,” he whispers, brows drawn together tightly, sweat beads dripping from his body to yours. His hand dips down between your shaking legs, rubbing your clit with his thumb, and the grip he feels on his cock when you clench around him almost makes him cum then and there, but he holds it off just a little longer, waiting for you to cum with him.
His hand slips behind your head, pressing your face impossibly close as he kisses you feverishly, teeth clashing, noses brushing against one another, and erratic breaths in between. “Cumming!” You shrill, your walls violently pulsating around him, giving him the green light to let go and flood your insides with his hot cum.
“Oh god, y/n, me too, me too,” he choked out, forehead resting against yours as your faces contort in pleasure.
Needless to say, neither of you were moving from that spot anytime soon.
-
You both went round after round till morning came, trading orgasms back and forth, and you thought the first night was a record of orgasms, but this night ended late in the morning, and you had so many orgasms you couldn’t count on your fingers as well as heeseung, he didn’t know the exact number but Judging by the way your bodies were numb and just how stuffed your cunt was of his cum he could tell it was a lot of times, he didn’t even know he was capable of having so many back to back.
The sex was great, amazing even, but you still weren’t fond of each other. It was obvious both of you wanted sex and more than just once a week, so heeseung, being the smart guy he is, divulges a plan. “Since we do this so often, I was thinking we could set some boundaries,” he declares after pulling out of you and handing you some wipes to clean yourself. He would have done it for you, but he knew you would have made him feel like shit for even offering.
“Like what?” You asked, wiping yourself clean and covering up with his sheets once you were finished.
“Like a contract, so to speak,” he shrugs.
“Okay?” You wait for him to continue.
“So since we both hate each other, things are obviously never going to escalate beyond just sex, but since we’re both single and available to each other, I think we should continue having sex for our satisfaction.” You nod to the first condition you wouldn’t mind continuing to have sex with him. “Like we can fuck and hit each other up whenever, just no strings attached, just purely sex.” he clarified.
“With you, I wouldn’t want to do anything else.” You make a fake puking sound.
“Anyways,” he says with an eye roll. “We can still date and fool around with other people, and if we find someone else we like, either of us can end the contract if we get into a committed relationship,” he says.
“Nope,” you simply disagree for not-so-obvious reasons.
“Why? You scared you might lose me to someone else?” He smiles.
“No,” you deadpan. “Just don’t want your diseases.”
“Damn, you think I just stick my raw dick in anything?” He pretends to be offended, but deep down, he is actually kinda offended. You’d think so lowly of him like that.
“You do it with me,” you shrug.
“I do it for you only~,” he says in a sing-song tone.
“Just continue,” you sigh.
“Okay! then no dating or hookups, and once fall hits, we’ll end it sound good?” He reached his hand out to shake yours for the first time ever, it reminded him of the day you first met and he can’t help but wonder what he did to make you hate him in the first place.
“Deal.” You shook his hand, sealing your deal. “What are you doing?” You asked when he started fishing around in his drawer.
“You know a contract has to have signatures right?” you shake your head in disbelief as he clicks the pen open and starts writing down everything you both just mentioned. “You want to add anything?”
“Yes, from now on, no talking unless we’re having sex.” You plopped down in his bed.
“Okay,” he whispered, writing it down. “Anything else?” He says, playing with the pen between his fingers.
“Also, no looking at each other,” you add.
“Y/n, stop being ridiculous. We can talk and look at each other just don’t be an asshole about it” he goes against your rules.
“I’m the asshole? What about you?” You sat up, getting ready to question him.
“What about me? I don’t do anything.” he tapped his open pen on his notepad casually.
“And see? This is why we can’t talk.” You got upset by his seemingly unfazed attitude and folded your arms.
“Cause you just can’t stop being full of yourself and making everything about you.” He shook his head. “Fine, no talking then.”
“And looking,” you add, making sure he doesn’t forget.
“So fucking childish imagine taking my dick but not looking at me ridiculous,” he laughed incredulously.
“I don’t see why you want to talk.” You threw your hands up in the air.
“I DON’T!” he immediately denies.
“Then shut the fuck up and finish the list so I can go home,” you groan.
He jots down everything, leaving open spaces in case someone wants to add something later on. He signs it and hands it over to you for your signature. “90 days of pleasure,” you scrunched your face upon seeing the title.
“What? You have a better idea?” He looked at you, annoyance clear on his face.
“No, it’s just who the hell names a contract.” You clicked the bottom of his pen, scribbling on the piece of paper.
“Me. Now just hurry up and sign it.” You wrote down your signature and handed it back to him, shaking on it one last time.
“So after 90 days, it will be fall, and our contract will be over,” he states to clarify, and you nod your head in agreement.
-
It had been five days exactly since you both signed the contract, and Heeseung was the first to hit you up.
Heeseung: You available?
You were at home lying on your bed when you received a text from Heeseung, and your heart rate picked up In anticipation of getting absolutely fucking railed by him cause you’d been so busy lately with school, and nothing screamed stress reliever like Heeseung’s dick.
You: Yes.
You reply back and go to your bathroom to freshen up and get ready for your dick appointment.
After you replied yes, heeseung ran a shower and tidied up his room a bit. It was never dirty, but a few things were out of place. He changed the bedsheets to the freshly washed ones in his closet and waited for your arrival.
You text him when you arrive, and he opens the door, allowing you to take off your shoes. As soon as the door shuts, he’s all over you, kissing you roughly as he pins you against the door and starts rubbing his already-stiffened cock on your thigh.
Yeah, this was going to be the best stress relief ever.
-
You woke up in the morning feeling rested and refreshed after getting some last night. You were about to get out of bed, but you found yourself wrapped in Heeseung’s arms, your face buried in his chest as he held you against his warm body.
You didn’t think much of it; it was probably just a habit he had when he slept, but one thing you noticed was how pretty he looked while sleeping.
His mouth was slightly pouted, his eyes closed, and the little labored breaths he let out that fanned your skin were so adorable. Too bad awake heeseung wasn’t like asleep heeseung.
You carelessly took his arms off of you and woke him up in the process.
He sat up a few seconds later, watching you getting ready to leave. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked at the clock, seeing that it was still pretty early, especially compared to the one time when you were both running late.
He would have at least offered you some breakfast and a shower if you weren't so mean, but next thing you know, you'd probably accuse him of trying to poison your food or say his tap water was brown.
He reached for his phone on his lamp stand and unlocked it, the other hand going behind his head as he typed away on the screen with a smile on his face and a few giggles here and there.
You wondered who he was talking to so early in the morning and what made him laugh and smile so much, but you shook your head. You didn't care coming or going. You just wondered what his problem was with you. He got along with literally everybody else just fine except you.
Wordlessly, you got dressed and left his room. No words were exchanged between you two, just like you both agreed on the contract.
-
"Things are awfully quiet these days." Jay sparks up a conversation about the two of you, the whole friend group seemingly taking an interest in you and Heeseung for some odd reason. "So you both, like, really aren't talking?"
You shook your head no slightly.
"Why?" Jay questioned.
"Cause he hates me."
"Cause she hates me."
You both automatically glare at one another as soon as the words leave your lips.
"Oh, here we go. Why did you get them going again?" Yeonjun threw his head back in annoyance. All he wanted to do was eat in peace, but you both always had to start something at lunch. The only reason he was still even in the cafeteria was because Yeji was there. If she wasn't, he would have left because the two of you were getting on his last nerve.
Heeseung was fed up and frustrated, but all he could think about was having you in a compromising position, so the only thing you could say was his name and not that nonsense you just spewed out. He didn't fucking hate you. It was you who hated him.
He pulled out his phone right across from you, texting you to meet him in the janitor's closet. Your stomach turned with arousal, and you were so down to do it with him right now. He was your stress but also your stress reliever.
Heeseung abruptly left the table, leading the way to the closet first.
No one really thought anything of it cause he'd occasionally walk out whenever you two started arguing.
After five minutes, you discreetly left the table while the group was discussing something intensely more like Jake's motor mouthing all the drama going around at school right now.
When you knocked on the door, heeseung practically dragged you inside, slamming the door shut and pressing his lips against yours, his hand going up your skirt to play with your pussy right away, and he could already feel you had gotten a little wet.
His kiss was sloppy, and his hands were desperately groping your body. His movements were fast and rushed, almost like he couldn't wait a second longer to have you.
You moaned in his mouth, trying to keep up with him giving him the perfect opportunity to suck on your tongue as he slipped your panties to the side, rubbing his palm on your warm wet cunt.
Your knees buckled from his light touching, and he quickly turned you around, letting your hands rest on the wall that was now in front of you.
He stood tall behind you, hiking up your skirt around your waist and yanking your panties down to your knees. You listened to his belt buckle unclamp, and your pussy throbbed with excitement when you heard the material of his pants dropping to the ground.
He runs his smooth fingers over your folds, cupping your heat as you tilt your head back, moaning and granting him access to kiss all over your exposed neck.
His left hand reached around the front of your body so he could flick your clit a few times before sinking his two fingers inside you, scissoring you wide open, your little cunt already oozing white all over his thick fingers.
Always so wet, he thought to himself, pumping your hole faster and finger fucking your tiny cunt till you involuntarily came around his fingers, creaming his digits in just a matter of seconds while doing your best to cover your moans and hold yourself upright.
You were just a complete mess for him.
"Are you sure you hate me?" he talked against your ear, nibbling your lobe softly as He slipped his two fingers from your pulsing cunt to replace them with his cock. He rested his length on the crevice of your ass, his hands on your shoulders as he humped against you, the warmth of your ass inviting his wet shaft to slide back and forth agonizingly slow.
He sucked in a sharp breath, his veiny cock throbbing in need to be inside of you as he watched you all bent over, moaning from the feeling of him just putting it on you and not actually inside you.
He bends down slightly, aiming his leaky tip at your hole, and he finds it with no problem, slowly inching forward, going slower than usual cause the position he has you in.
He puts his palm on your lower tummy, one hand on your clit, rubbing it to get you off, his cheek pressed against your back as he completely loses himself in the feeling of your pussy, inviting him in so warm and so deep.
"Nothing to say?" He chuckles, keeping his pace steady and not too rough cause you both had to save your energy, given the fact you still had almost a full day of school and activities left.
You couldn't say anything. How could you when he was fucking you so good? The only thing you managed to do was whimper his name as your walls clamped helplessly around him, and you being completely speechless whenever you were with him seemed like it was becoming a new habit, one you didn't want to break anytime soon.
"That's what I thought." He winces as holds most of your weight, keeping you upright, and you're so thankful cause your legs were going to give up on you any second. "Just be quiet and take this dick that you love so much."
You both let out uncontrollable moans doing your best to keep them quiet for the most part as he slowly pumps your pussy to bliss. You clench around him so tight he feels light-headed. Needless to say, he's not gonna last much longer, and the idea of having a quickie with you at school just riled him up even further.
He circles your wet clit, and you arch your back instinctively, his tip hitting just a little deeper, turning you into a wet dripping mess as more of your leak drips down his shaft and coats his full balls.
It's no secret that you're cumming. The way you squeeze him rhythmically lets him know that it's not long before you experience the big O.
"Cumming” he whispers, eyes screwed completely while he stills inside your pussy, throbbing uncontrollably as he spews his hot cum into you right after you come undone around him and it always felt so much better when you both came together, at least to him, anyways.
After a few ragged breaths, the moment quickly ends, and he pulls out, grabbing his pants and tucking himself away while you do the same. He lets you leave first without a single word being exchanged between the two of you. He waits approximately seven minutes before coming out and meeting up with the rest of the group.
"You two are always showing up together" Karina notices. "Are you sure you guys aren't close, and you're not just putting on a show for us?" She grins.
You tense slightly when you hear what she says, but you quickly regain yourself despite feeling heeseungs residual cum sticking to your thighs. "No show is worth being involved with him." You roll your eyes, trying to keep up with the facade.
"That pretty much sums it up," Heeseung says, looking up at everyone with a smile on his face like his dick wasn't still stained in your cum from fucking your pussy just moments ago. "Where are we eating from after school? Cause I'm starving." he clasps his hands together, hoping his diversion tactic works, and it seemingly does when everyone starts fighting about where they want to eat from after class ends.
Next time, you'd both have to be a little more discreet than that.
-
Though it felt like yesterday when you signed the contract, it was already fall, and your 90 days go by in a flash. It was the best and worst 90 days of your whole life, all thanks to a certain someone.
You didn't get along with him, but you have to admit he was your guilty pleasure. He was just that good in bed. Whoever he marries is going to be one lucky girl. Sadly, you could only experience it for 90 days, but you'd take 90 days over nothing at all.
This was the last day you and Heeseung had together, and you were going to make the absolute most out of it.
You both were about fifty-fifty when it came to hitting each other up at all sorts of times and places at school. You'd both go to the bathroom and give each other head before returning back to your friends like nothing had ever happened, and none of your friends had ever caught on even though they were suspicious of you both all the time.
You loved the quickies at school, but the trips to the mall grew to be your favorite cause you and heeseung always made great use of the dressing rooms.
Good times.
You reminisce about the one time you and him were going back and forth per usual. "Is it just me or does anyone else feel annoyed whenever he talks?" Heeseung sighed deeply stopping in his tracks and turning towards you.
"Excuse us." Suddenly, he grabbed you by your wrist, leading you away from the group, and your friends were thankful that at least you could fight in private and not ruin the outing for once.
He took you to some random clothing store that you couldn't quite get the name of cause he already had you locked inside the dressing room, his large hands cupping your ass as he practically stuck his tongue down your throat.
"You just never know when to fucking stop," he groaned against your lips, sliding his hands up your skirt and yanking your black panties down to your ankles, his fingertips easily gliding between your damp folds.
You gasped, eyes fluttering shut as you gripped his shoulders for support as he teased your entrance. "Hee," you whine, head falling to the side while he licked a trail up your neck.
"Shush." he holds his unoccupied finger to your mouth as he slips one digit inside you, and even though he told you to shush, a helpless moan escapes your lips when he buries his finger knuckle deep in you. "Fuck baby, you gotta be quiet" he clenched his jaw, trying his best not to groan from feeling your warm little pussy clamped around his finger so tightly.
"Yes, fuck hee," he nips the skin of your neck, pulling his finger out of you cause the last thing either of you needed was to get caught, especially in public. "No," you whine at the loss, your walls clenching desperately, begging for him to go back inside you. "Please don't stop"
"Then keep that pretty little mouth shut for me, yeah?" you don't know why, but something about the aggressive yet softness in his tone turned you on so much you absentmindedly nodded your head, hand reaching for his wrist and guiding it back under your skirt. "No noise," he reminds you and stuffs your hole with not one but two fingers, and you're not sure how he expects you to keep quiet while he massages your walls with the pads of his soft fingers so well. "Like that, hmm, pretty?" he whispers, his large hand cupping your mouth to keep you quiet.
You nod again, moans getting muffled by his hand, and your eyes go crossed from the pleasure he makes you feel.
He pressed his thumb on your clit, his digits working inside you smoothly, running along your warm, velvety walls, pushing you closer to the edge.
"Come on, give it to me. I know you want to," he whispers in your ear.
At the sound of his voice and his warm breath blowing against your face, your walls collapsed, squeezing around his fingers, his thumb rubbing your clit in perfect circles, giving you yet another earth-shattering orgasm to add to your list.
Behind the dressing room doors, your muffled moans could be heard, and the lewd noises of him finger fucking your sloppy cunt.
He slipped his fingers out of you, gently pushing you back on the bench, making quick work of his jeans and belt, too impatient to take his underwear off.
He pulled out his cock from the tiny hole in front, dropping his pants to his knees, giving him just enough mobility to fuck you.
Saliva pooled in your mouth at the sight of his perfect cock as you lay out, waiting for him to take you raw in the mall dressing room.
He bunched your dress around your waist, revealing your perfect cunt for his eyes to feast on as he grabbed the base of his cock, running it along your wet pussy lips.
Your legs circled around his waist, caging his midsection against yours. The angle wasn't ideal, but neither of you could care. You were far too worked up at this point.
His hands went to your waist, holding you in place as he started to fuck into you at a fast pace, and if the employees didn't hear your guy's moans, you're sure they were bound to hear the sound of his sweaty skin clapping against yours. "Shit," he breathed out, stroking your walls, and he couldn't quite wrap his head around the fact you felt ten times better every single time he had you. "So fucking wet and creamy baby," he grits through his teeth. "That turn you on, princess? Making me fucking mad? Down talking to me in front of everyone. Does that do it for you?"
You lay there limp, your hands hanging onto the bench for support. "Fuck” you moan, throwing your head back, relishing in the feeling of his thick cock hitting every single part inside you that makes your toes curl.
"It does, doesn't it? You like making me angry, so I fuck my frustration out on you?" You tighten around his girth, his words going straight to your pussy.
"N-no," you lie. If you were being honest, you did rile him up in hopes he'd take you off somewhere and fuck you back into place.
"Fucking liar," he breathed. "Your pussy is saying otherwise fucking squeezing me so tight I can barely even move" he moves his hands to your ass, tightening his grip as he lifts you up, your lower body no longer in contact with the bench, and you feel his dick hitting deeper and deeper. "Teach you not to interrupt me again," he goes even harder, bullying his tip past your tight gummy walls, invading your hole with his cock so deep you felt like you could feel him inside your stomach.
"R-right there, yes." he slows his pace the moment the words leave your lips.
"I thought I told you to be quiet. Why can't you just fucking listen, baby? You never listen." he starts moving again, and your moans increase in pitch. You weren't trying to, but how could you not scream in pleasure when he was fucking you just right. "You know what?" he sets your lower half down and hovers over you, mouth just inches above yours. "Open," he whispers, and he doesn't need to tell you twice. Your mouth automatically falls open for him. "Take it." he gathers a ball of spit in his mouth, saliva dropping from his mouth to your own to make sure you can't make another sound.
His hips fasten in pace as he lifts up his shirt tucking it under his chin to watch the dirty act of his cock getting buried in your raw creamy cunt. "Finally found a way to make you quiet," he smirks, his thumb finding your clit and massaging it softly.
You mindless nod your head, your brows furrowed in pleasure as his warm saliva rests on your tongue.
"Hmm, fuck, didn't know you could be this obedient for me" he pulled out halfway and collected more saliva in his mouth, spitting it on his shaft before sliding back in, making the wet noises between your conjoined bodies even louder. "Yeah," he breaths out. "Take it, baby, take it, take this fucking cock," he says, mesmerized by the thick white ring of arousal coating his base. His hips slowly losing rhythm, and when he looked at your blissed-out face, he lost it, his length throbbing at the sight of you holding his spit in your mouth while filled with his girthy cock. "All yours," he whispered through a moan, the words slipping past his lips absentmindedly in his dazed state.
He rubbed your clit faster, knowing he wouldn't last more than a few seconds longer. "Cum for me, C-cum on me, y/n," he moans softly. His words make you cum simultaneously with him, and you feel him release deep inside you, filling up your slick pussy with copious amounts of seed. "Good," he breaths out. "Swallow me," he whispers against your lips. You comply, unlike all the other times when you fought against him. His lips find yours in a messy kiss as you both indulge in your highs together.
Needless to say, from then on, you purposely riled him up so he could take his frustrations out on your body.
Sadly, that was just a memory, but you couldn't wait to get out of school today because you have been fiending for him.
You needed him like right now, but currently, Jay was holding you up, talking to you about something you couldn't quite pay attention to because your core ached for none other than Lee Heeseung.
And it didn't help when he walked past and saw you both talking together. You know you weren't supposed to be looking at each other because of the contract, but you couldn't help it, and you also couldn't help but clench around nothing at the sight of him, your eyes traveling to his crotch just thinking of all the things you wanted him to do to you or you wanted to do to him.
“Y/n?” Jay waves his hand in front of your face, trying to gain your attention.
"Hmm? Sorry, I must have spaced out," you giggle nervously, and luckily, Jay didn't seem to catch on to you shameless ogling his friend.
"So anyways, like I was saying," Jay goes on to tell you again, and you feel so bad 'cause you still just couldn't focus, not with Heeseung within twenty feet of you.
"Just look at her," Heeseung says, not being so discreet about looking at you, but fuck that part of the contract. It was stupid, respectfully. "I can't stand her. She's so fake you can see it all over her face," heeseung grumbles.
"I don't know man, she just looks like she's having a good time to me. Sure you're not just jealous that she's talking to Jay and not you?" Jake teases.
"Of course, I'm not. Why would I be? It's not like she's my girlfriend, and I don't fucking care what she does. All I'm saying is that she's fake as fuck. She acts all cute and bubbly with everyone except me, and then when I say something about it, she makes me look like I'm the crazy one," he rambles.
"You sure?" Jake pushed on.
"I'm sure, she can talk to whoever she wants, unlike her. I'm not desperate for attention," he says while stealing glances at you every now and then.
"Dude, do you even hear yourself? You're the only one bothered. You keep saying attention, attention, attention, but every chance you get when she's not around, you talk about her bringing even more attention to her." Jake can't help but point out the obvious.
"You know nothing at all, but you'll find out one day," heeseung says, total nonsense, and quickens his steps, getting in front of Jake to pull out his phone and text you so you could get out of jays face and in his, he definitely wasn't jealous or anything like that, he just didn't want anyone being manipulated by your double personality.
Immediately after receiving his text, you politely excused yourself from Jay, telling him you had to use the "restroom."
Once you make it inside, he pulls you into his body, quickly dropping to his knees, his hands working to pull down everything and eat you out. He does it sloppy, wet, and messy, but you don't care, too lost in pleasure to think of anything else other than his hot tongue slithering through your engorged folds.
He adds two of his fingers in the mix, running them along your soaked slit while sucking on your swollen clit with great enthusiasm humming and moaning at the taste of your wetness hitting his tongue.
He looked up at you, his round pretty eyes staring into your own as he finger fucked you. Your legs were shaking, knees slightly bent, and he wrapped his free arm around you, pulling you closer to his face and stabilizing your shaky posture. "Baby," you say in a daze-like state, hands resting on his broad shoulders while his mouth delivers heaven to your core.
He hums against your heat, flicking his tongue on your clit expertly until you come all over his warm tongue. "Heeseung, fuck me, so good, so fucking g-good," you stutter and grip the wall behind you for support, your other hand running through his soft hair and pushing his face even closer to your cunt as he cleans you with his tongue till every last drop is out of your pretty pulsing hole and down his throat.
He takes his fingers out of you sucking them clean of everything, and the sight already has you turned on again even though you just came, but you couldn't risk going another round and getting caught.
He helps you pull your panties up and straighten out your skirt. He stood up and grabbed the door handle, ready to leave, which had you confused, and despite the no-talking rule, you couldn't help but break it just this one time. "What about you?" You stood up along with him.
"We can't risk getting caught. You can make it up to me later if you want, okay?" he rushes out, hand twisting the knob of the door.
"But we always trade. Let me get you off and help you with your problem down there." You cupped his bulge, massaging him lightly through his jeans.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you love me," He jokes.
You don't bother responding, only sinking to your knees, making quick work of his pants. Once his bottom half is naked and exposed, you inhale his cock sucking him off to the best of your abilities to make him cum as fast as possible.
Which was only two minutes, and that was definitely record time. "Fuck, I'm cumming already," he pants, losing control over his hips as he fucks your throat carefully and holds your head in place while you suck his balls dry. "Shit baby," he sighs in pleasure, letting himself go, his head lulling to the side as he pats your hair. You bob your head, tongue moving in an up-and-down motion on the underside of his cock before you pull away, swallowing his cum like always; you kiss his tip, topping him off perfectly.
You helped him wear his pants correctly, just like he did with you. You gave him a flirty smile and a wink before you left the restroom, leaving him a frazzled mess from the head you just gave him.
-
Since that wasn't enough for either of you, later that same day, you both texted each other literally at the same time. Your text bubbles appeared on each other's screen, and luckily, heeseung was alone cause he had a goofy little smile on his face, but that's before he caught himself and realized the pain in the ass he was talking to.
You: My place or yours? My parents are out of town
Heeseung: Yours
He responds immediately. You two haven't done it there yet cause of your parents always being home, but he wouldn't miss the opportunity to have you begging for him in your bed.
-
The sun set and rose with heeseung still lying in your bed, and 90 days are now officially up.
"Good morning, y/n," Heeseung stretched out his limbs, yawning and draping his arm around you.
"Get the fuck off" You pried his arm off, and he chuckled. "And why are you talking to me?"
"Contracts up." Oh yeah, the contract. It's too bad it's over. You wouldn't have minded just a couple more days with him cause somehow 90 just simply wasn't enough.
You turned to him and admired him for a few seconds. You wished you just had at least one more day cause he looked so sexy in the morning with his sleepy eyes and bed head it took everything in you not to just go under the sheets and suck his-
"Well, I better go. You look like you'll burn holes through me with that stare," he awkwardly laughed and stood up from your bed, yawning as he got dressed for the day. After he had finished putting his clothes on, he reached into his overnight bag, pulling out the contract. "Guess we don't need this anymore." he walked back over to your bed, letting the sheet of paper fall on it.
"You guessed right." You grabbed it, ripping it in half and then again for extra measures.
"Did you really have to rip it?" He mumbled as he grabbed the torn paper off your bed, examining the damage you had done to it.
"It's just a stupid piece of paper." You threw the blankets over your head, groaning loudly, pretending that you weren't affected by this being your last day with him.
"Yeah, just a piece of paper." his lips formed a thin line, and he stuffed the little pieces of paper back into his backpack. "Bye, y/n." he reached for the doorknob and looked back at you one last time before leaving, assuming you'd say it back, but you never did. "You could at least say it back, you know." He stopped at your door.
"Can you please just get the fuck out? I would like to get some sleep without a pig snoring next to me," you sighed. He didn't snore, but you said it just to piss him off.
"Still a complete bitch, I see" You yanked the covers back, revealing your angry expression.
"And now I'm a bitch? Last time I checked, you were the one that hated me, and now you want me to say bye? Over my dead body," you plopped back down.
"I don't want you saying shit to me, but maybe just act like a normal fucking human being for once and not an asshole" he walked and slammed your bedroom door.
You sighed and flipped over on your bed, hoping to get some more sleep cause you could already feel today going like shit, complete shit, especially since you and Heeseung could talk to each other again.
-
Surprisingly enough, you didn't have any contact with Heeseung. He made sure to sit the furthest away from you. He didn't look at you nor scoff whenever you laughed, not even an eye roll.
You didn't know he was capable of leaving you alone, but you're glad he did. It's not like you missed your guy's daily banter every week.
"It's eerily quiet toda-"
"Jake shut the fuck up" Jay shoved him on the shoulder.
"Yeah, that's in the past," Yeonjun says with a full mouth while Yeji scolds him for not chewing his food properly.
"Does anyone have an extra eraser? I forgot mine." Heeseung looks up sheepishly from his notepad, ignoring the conversation prior to his question.
"I," Karina raised her hand, fishing out an eraser for him.
Your hand was already automatically reaching into your bag for one before she even said anything, but you dropped the eraser once she gave him hers. It's not like it bothered you that he was using hers and not yours; besides, you didn't want to share anything with him anyway. It was just a reflex, that's all.
You didn't even notice, but after a moment, you sighed, and when you did, Jake gave you a little knowing smile, but you tapped his shin under the table before he even started his nonsense, the smile quickly disappearing from his face.
"Thank you~" heeseung sings and goes back to doing whatever it was that he was doing.
"You're welcome," Karina replied while drawing some little figures on her piece of paper.
The rest of the day passed by like normal, and for the first time since you met you and Heeseung didn't fight, but for some odd reason, you just didn't feel like yourself, so you opted out of the plans you all had made earlier.
"You sure?" Jay asked once you all left school and were standing outside the gates. "We can always reschedule."
"No, it's fine. Just bring me something back," you tell him playfully.
"Will do," Jay chuckles.
"Well, bye guys, see you all next week," you bid your goodbyes to everyone.
"Hey, why don't I drive you?" Jay offers.
"NO!" Heeseung shouts, gaining the attention of everyone, and his ears turn a shade of pink. "I-I mean I'll drive her 'cause it's closer to my place, and I had to get something before we leave, you know?" He gulped eyes nervously shaking back and forth.
"We're just going to the store. What do you need at home?" Jay says, confused.
Heeseung stood there looking for a feasible answer, but he found none, and he could feel sweat starting to form on his palms and hairline.
"You said your wallet, right?" Jake nudged heeseung on the shoulder, silently telling him to play along.
"Y-yeah, oh yeah, my wallet," he laughs nervously.
"Don't you have the pay function on your phone-"
Jake quickly cuts Jay off. "His phone is dead, he told me earlier." Heeseung nodded immediately.
"Well, okay then," Jay gives you a small smile and waves bye to you one last time.
"Hurry up, let's go." Heeseung brushes past you while side-eyeing Jay in passing.
You follow behind Heeseung silently as he opens the door for you. "I can just walk."
Heeseung doesn't say anything and gets in the driver's seat, buckling in before driving you to your destination. When you get on the road, it's completely silent other than the calm music he plays on his radio. "You could," he replies to your statement at least five minutes later.
"Then, if it's all the same to you, I want to get out," you say, clearly not in the mood for his attitude.
"I'm not stopping, plus it's starting to rain, and the last thing I want is for you to blame me for why you get sick." he hits the brakes, slowing down for the red light.
"I don't care jus-"
"Don't start this today. Just take the ride" he shakes his head and presses the gas. Once the light turns green, you sigh in annoyance but remain silent after accepting the ride home.
He stops outside your house right at the curb, putting his blinkers on just in case. He then unlocked the door and reached over his console to unbuckle your belt and open the door for you. "See you at school tomorrow, y/n," he says as you step out of his car.
"See you" you whisper feeling awkward after finally acting somewhat civil with him for once, you walked up to your house and, he slowly pulled away once he saw you got in safely.
-
Everyone was gathered around the table at the cafeteria, eating in silence for once.
Jake is the first one to break the silence. "Hey hee, can I talk to you for a minute, like in private?" heeseung nodded to Jake and scooted his chair from the cafeteria table, following him to a quieter area.
"Mind telling me why you lied and have been avoiding me since the other day?" Jake raised a questioning brow.
"What do you mean?" Heeseung's eyes travel anywhere but Jake's.
"You know what I mean the other day when I saved your ass" Jake gives him a little refresher.
"Oh, that," heeseung chuckles awkwardly.
"Yeah, that, now give me an answer, Mr Lee" Jake puts his hands on his hips, tapping his foot impatiently.
"So it's kinda embarrassing, but if you must know, I had to go to the toilet," Heeseung lied.
"What's wrong with the school toilets?" Jake furrows his brows in confusion.
"I don't use them," he says quickly, which makes him look even more suspicious cause this was news to Jake. "And besides saves gas cause I'm closer to y/n's house so it just makes sense you know?"
"Hmm, mmm." Jake rubs his chin in thought, his eyes narrowing at Heeseung, trying to detect if he's lying, but he finds nothing. "Okay!" he smiles brightly and pats heeseung on the shoulder, leading them back to the cafeteria. "I thought you wanted to be alone with y/n."
Heeseung laughs breathily, a relieved breath following after. "Not in a million years." he kept his act up, hoping no one was catching onto him.
When he sits down, everything else seems to be normal, and thankfully, Jake seems none the wiser and doesn't bring it up again.
-
Heeseung: 👀
It's eight at night when you receive a text from Heeseung, which is unusual, of course.
You text him back, interested in why he's hitting you up cause the contract has been over for days now.
You: 👀
Heeseung: Didn't think you'd answer 😳
You: What do you want? 🙄
Heeseung: I know the contact is over, but I was kinda sorta thinking about you 😅 and I was wondering, since it's Sunday night and we’re both not going to the party, maybe you could come over just for old-time's sake.
You: Old times sake? It's not even been a week, heeseung.
Heeseung: Okay, you got me there, but are you okay with coming over?
You chewed your lip in thought, but who were you kidding? It was Lee Heeseung. Of course, you were coming over.
You: I'll be over in half an hour.
Heeseung: See you then.
He would have offered to get you, but nine times out of ten, you'd say no. Plus, he had a little something to do anyway, so this was perfect.
Heeseung sprinted out of bed after he sent his last text.
He scrambled to his cabinets to prepare everything. He set up candles on either side of his bed. The smell of air freshener was all throughout his room. The lights were dim, which set the mood perfectly, and he couldn't forget to sprinkle some rose petals on the edge of the bed and don't even get him started on the bathroom.
Why is he doing this?
Well, because since the beginning, he had a little crush on you that blossomed into a fat one.
The day he laid eyes on you, he was utterly mesmerized by your beauty but also so shy he practically hid himself behind Jake when you introduced yourself cause he was too nervous to even speak in your presence.
But when you ignored him, it hurt his heart cause even though he just saw you, it was like love at first sight. His heart was racing, and his eyes were full of adoration. He was so happy Yeji was friends with you, and he couldn't wait to talk to you and get to know you more.
But that sadly didn't happen cause you didn't seem to have any interest in him the way he did you.
After a while, everything you did annoyed him, not cause he was annoyed by you, but he was annoyed cause everything you did didn't involve him. He wished you laughed at his jokes. He wished you talked to him. He wished you looked at him the way he looked at you.
Again, it just didn't happen; however, when you approached him at the party that one night, he couldn't pass the golden opportunity up. He was not easy by any means. He was definitely a man of standard. It's just it was you. How could he say no? Even if you didn't like him back, he said yes, because all he wanted was to get close with you anyway he could, and it just happened to be in the form of sex, but he wasn’t complaining cause your body was just as amazing as your personality.
Fast forward to the contract part. It was his poor attempt at getting closer to you; nevertheless, when you said no talking or looking at each other, that foiled his plans immediately. He still kept at it though for one reason, not sex, the sex was perfect don’t get him wrong, but the fact that you said your 90 days together would strictly be just you and him meant you wouldn't be dating any guys or seeing anyone but him, which meant he'd have some time to try and win you over but unfortunately the 90 days flew by and your relationship was the same if not worse.
Despite it all, he still didn't want to give up on you the last few days. He wasn't ignoring you cause he didn't like you. He was just trying to give you some space and show you he respected your boundaries. Maybe then he'd win a few points with you, and he was also brewing up a plan to see if maybe he could mend your guy's enemies' relationship and turn it into what it should have been from the start.
He had to cause he couldn't take the idea of not being your friend. You were great. You were funny, smart, caring, considerate, modest, and every other good word in the dictionary he could think of, not to mention the most beautiful girl he'd ever laid his two eyes on.
He knew you wouldn't come over just to hang out with him, so he kinda bribed you with sex, but that wasn't the only thing, he was going to give you a nice long night full of pleasure, and if he could convince you he was going to treat you to dinner and a movie and ask you a very forward but important question.
Around half an hour later, he heard your soft knocks on the front door, and he had just finished setting everything up, which was perfect. The plan was already going so smoothly; he exhaled a deep breath before answering the door. "You got this, heeseung," he said to himself and opened the door, revealing your figure, and you looked absolutely stunning as always. "You look beautiful, y/n." he stared at you, awestruck like a deer in the headlights.
And you don't know why, but it sounded so genuine you couldn't help but become flustered. "Thank you"
"You're welcome," he sighs dreamily as he watches you discarding your shoes at the door, and he prays by the end of the night. This wouldn't be the last time you came over. "Come with me." he grabs your hand, leading the way.
You entered his bedroom, and it smelled like lavender, which was your favorite scent. You couldn't help but notice the rose petals and the candles, and you wondered why he decided to go all out tonight. "Who knew you could be so romantic?" You teased.
"I try." he came up behind you, resting his chin on your shoulder and engulfing your frame. "You like it?"
"I love it, but hee, what has gotten into you?" You say trying to sound annoyed but you can't bring yourself to, not when he's hugging you so affectionately and his fingertips are tickling your sides making you giggle like a schoolgirl.
"You" is all he says as he caresses your skin and makes out with the side of your neck. Your mind goes blank after feeling his soft lips on your skin, and nothing but the thought of having his body fills your brain.
"I'm so glad you could make it," he whispers in your ear, his lips grazing the shell of it as you crane your neck to the side.
"Me too," you reply softly, your eyes falling shut as his smooth fingertips trace your sides up and down.
He kissed your cheek, your jaw, and finally, your neck, leaving wet open, mouth kisses on your sensitive spot.
"Hee," you moan shakily, and he slips his hands under your shirt, tracing his index finger around your navel, one hand dipping inside your shorts and the other cupping your bra-glad breast.
“I'm here, baby,” He whispers, pressing his body flush against you, his hand rubbing over your clothed mound, the hand on your chest slipping inside your bra to play with your hardened nipples.
Your back arched naturally, and you whined when you felt his stiffness twitching on your backside.
He moans breathlessly, his warm breath tickling your neck as he sticks his tongue out, licking the spot he just kissed over and over again.
His fingers slipped your panties to the side, and when you felt his bare skin on yours, you gasped loudly. His warm fingers massaging your sensitive folds was the best feeling in the world. He always knew just how to touch you to make you want him. "You're really wet," he emphasizes with a deep groan while tightening his grip on your left breast.
"All because of you," you tell him truthfully, and he smiles softly at your words, pleased to know he’s pleasuring you just the way you like it. "You always get me so wet, baby."
He melts when you call him baby, his chest filling with nothing but warmth, his hand teased your opening, dipping his middle finger inside you just deep enough to make you want more. "Is that right?" he says, completely fascinated by your arousal as he slips his finger right inside with ease.
"Yes," Your legs tremble from the pleasuring intrusion. You'd think after having him almost every day for 90 days, you'd get used to the feeling, but you never did. It just felt better and better each time. "Feels so good," you whimper.
"Yeah?" He nibbles on your neck, his hands still working magic all over your body, and when he rubs himself against you, you just can't wait anymore.
"Please hee, I c-can't, c-can't wait," you breathed out every square inch of your body, ignited by his touch while your juices were running down his fingers and wrist, and you were more than ready to take him at this point.
"It's okay, baby, I got you." he pressed his cheek to yours as he reached down, easily dropping your shorts and panties. "Arms up for me, baby." he leans back, and you lift your arms, obeying his command. "Just like that." he kisses your cheek, lips soft and moist as he proceeds to seamlessly unclasp your bra. The material hits the floor, leaving you completely naked, all for him. "So pretty." he pecked your shoulder, hands running along your perfect curves. "Lie on the bed." You walked over to his bed and laid down, head already in a daze-like state. Watching him strip in front of you was a sight to see. Once he was undressed, he climbed on the bed hovering above you; you gripped anything you could reach, one hand tangled in his hair, pulling him closer to you as you eagerly pressed your lips against his. He moaned into your mouth, a little taken aback by your excitement, but he couldn't say he didn't love your sudden enthusiasm for him.
His hard length rubbed across your core, and you needily bucked your hips, grinding yourself against him to feel him more. "I want you so bad." You verbalized your need for him, and again, your lips were meeting his in a messy, desperate kiss.
"Took the words right out of my mouth, sweetheart." A warm feeling spreads through you at his words, and it's definitely not your arousal this time, he leans back, resting his forehead against yours as you both close your eyes and take a breather to catch your bearings.
He lays on top of you fully, your legs wrapping around his waist as he bucks his hips into you, his shaft rubbing your glossy pussy. "So good," he whispers and angles his hips perfectly with your entrance, thrusting forward in one smooth motion, sinking himself within your body. "Y/n," he breathes out, the feeling of your warm walls inviting him in, never once failing to leave him breathless.
"Hee, you're so perfect." You placed your hand on his cheek, the other on his arm, and you couldn't stop yourself from making out with his lips, but he wasn't complaining cause your lips were one of his favorite parts about you.
His thrusts were slower than usual, allowing you to feel every ridge, dip, and curve, even the slightest pulses here and there as his girth filled you up so perfectly, you're sure you'd never find anyone better than him in bed, and you didn't want to. He knew all the right things to say and all the right places to hit to have you a complete mess under his perfect muscular body.
He squeezed the pillow beneath his hands, trying to ground himself as he rutted forward. You took him in so well his balls were touching your soaked outer lips as his tip kissed your cervix with each and every thrust. "Oh fuck” his voice vibrates in his throat, eyes rolling in the back of his head. "You're so amazing, y/n." he bites down hard on his bottom lip. "You feel so good.
You clench at not only his words but the blissed-out expression on his face. He always looked so good while he was stroking deep inside you. "Come here," you chuckled softly, pulling him down by his neck as you kissed him once more.
He knows you so well by now that he doesn't need you to tell him that you're close cause he can feel it. "You must really like my lips, huh?" He giggles, and you're not sure how he could look so cute yet be so sexy at the same time. Little did you know he was thinking the same exact thing about you, too.
"Something like that," you smile, parting from him long enough to say before capturing his lips again.
"Yeah, it's a little something like that for me too," he whispers against your lips, and you can feel him smiling, which in turn makes you smile. Without a doubt, this was the most romantic interaction you've had with each other so far, and you loved every single last second of it, and he's happy he could say the same.
You could barely keep up with his kisses once he started massaging your clit. "Hee-" he cuts through your words, sucking on your tongue softly, his thumb rubbing your tiny pearl faster till you're clasping tightly around him.
"Cum with me," he whispers just as he feels those familiar tingles in his lower stomach. "Y-y/n," he stutters. The sound of him moaning your name does it for you, all the pleasure finally dispersing throughout your system.
"Hee," you held onto him tightly, coming undone right on time with him. This was by far the best sex you've had with each other. The setting was perfect. It was slow, it was intimate, it was everything both of you wanted in the bedroom, and on top of that, there was no smart talk, just you heeseung and his beautifully decorated bed.
You were both panting softly, trying your best to catch your breath after that amazing experience.
He rode out your highs together, gently rolling his hips until the pulsations between your bodies faded away, slowly pulling out so he wouldn't overstimulate either of you.
It was quiet and peaceful, only the sounds of your breaths filling the room, along with the smell of roses and candles. "Thank you for coming over," he smiled softly, giving you a small peck on the lips and covering your bodies with the blankets. You blushed shyly because why the heck was he acting all sweet? Suddenly your heart couldn't take it, you had gotten so used to mean heeseung that seeing him be nice to you felt weird but strangely good, you liked him like this.
Obviously, you got to see the real Heeseung. He was great. He was smart, handsome, and very gentleman-like, and whenever he talked, you could see the passion in his eyes as he went into great detail about whatever he was interested in at that moment. He was the life of any party, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't want to be his friend or maybe even more now that he was being himself around you.
You wished to be included in the conversations he had with others. You wanted him to acknowledge you, and what are you even talking about? This was just meaningless sex between you and him, and none of that was ever gonna happen, but that didn't stop you from at least entertaining the idea a little or maybe even a lot.
You kissed him back as a nonverbal thank you for tonight and he gave you a giddy little smile in return, you were about to get out of bed and do your normal routine then leave cause you didn't want to get used to any of this, knowing it was your last time with him, it was already hard enough just leaving his arms.
"Hey, wait," he quickly grabs your arm, gently pulling you back down into bed with him. "I'm kinda hungry. Do you want anything?" He raises a question, trying not to be too obvious about casually asking you to stay and have dinner with him.
"You're just trying to fuel me up for another round," you say, giggling and pulling away from him.
"Maybe," he smirked, but when he saw you were actually getting ready to leave, he quickly turned serious. "Wait, no, y/n, I'm serious. I'm thinking Chinese or pizza."
"Fine, I'll have pizza." You roll your eyes, attempting not to smile at his kind offer.
"Topping?" He asked as he grabbed his phone off the night stand, his heart racing with excitement and nerves cause so far, the plan was still going accordingly.
"Pepperoni and…."
"Pineapple"
You both say at the same time, and heeseung smiles to himself. "So cute," he whispers to himself typing in the order.
"What?" You say, shocked that he actually knows your order.
"You heard me" he quickly places the order and peels the blankets off his body. "You can use my bathroom to shower and I'll change the sheets."
He says it causally like this is just something the two of you normally do.
"Am I missing something?" You say, confused.
"Not that I'm aware of, no." he puts on a pair of boxers and starts removing the sheets. "Quickly before the food arrives. I don't want you eating it cold, and there's an extra robe in the cabinet," he says, all while never making eye contact with you cause he knows if he did, he'd be a red stuttering mess, he doesn't even know how he kept it together this long.
You stood there speechless because what the fuck was going on in that brain of his for him to treat you this way after everything, or was this just his way of trying to get you to keep coming over for sex now that the contract was over, but you doubt it, he didn't seem like the type and this would be a little extreme just to have sex so why is he doing all this just for you?
You chalked it up to him just being nice to you for once and went on to take your bath. When you opened the bathroom door, you gasped at the sight. It was even more beautiful than his bedroom. There were more candles on the edge of the tub with rose petals at the bottom. An incense was burning, and it smelled so good you never wanted to leave, not to mention the temperature was absolutely perfect.
You opened the cabinet, a fresh white robe waiting for you, just like he said. You put it on and turned on the faucet, running the temperature just right. As you waited for the tub to fill, you used some of the bubble bath he had set up along the edge of the tub. You heard a soft knock, and the door opened behind you a bit later. "Mind if I join you?" Heeseung asked, and you could have sworn he was blushing cause he couldn't even look at you.
"Not at all," you tell him, and he sighs in relief, his shoulders loosening up a bit as he walks over to you and bends down slightly, kissing your forehead.
You stood up on your tippy toes, wrapping your arms around his neck as he undid the string on the front of your robe, letting it hit the floor. You kissed his lips softly and pulled away, running your hands through his nape hairs. He smiled at you lazily, and you don't know why or how, but everything that was happening right now felt so natural, as if you'd been together for years.
You moved your hands from around his neck, and that was his cue to take off his underwear and step into the tub. First, he reached his hand out for you to join him. Once you were both inside, he sat at the back of the tub, guiding you to lay in between his legs, your head automatically resting comfortably on his broad chest as he smoothed his hands all over your skin, caressing your body, it felt so relaxing to be in his arms in the warmth of the tub while he pampered you and kissed your shoulders ever so softly.
He hummed a soothing tune and popped the cap off the body wash, using the vanilla-scented gel to wash your delicate body with. "Hmm, that smells nice. Where did you get it from?" You asked him.
"You know the day we went to the mall and you weren't feeling well?" You hum in acknowledgment.
"Well, you asked for something, so I got all this for you." he was happy you couldn't see his face, but he was sure the erratic pounding in his chest gave him away.
"So you planned all this?" You chuckled.
"Maybe," he laughs softly, kissing the crown of your head.
"Hee, that's so sweet of you, thank you." You reached your arm behind his head, bringing him in for a short kiss.
"You're welcome, y/n." he looked at you with the sweetest eyes you've ever seen, and you didn't want to look away for even a second.
-
An hour passed by, and you both finished your very relaxing bath. He stepped out first and gave you a new, clean robe to change into. "So your clothes are kinda in the washer." he scratched his nape nervously. "But you can wear mine if you want," he suggested hesitantly while wrapping a towel around himself.
"Sure!" You chirped.
"Okay, wait here, and I'll bring you something, okay?" you scrunched your nose up cutely, and he swears it was the most adorable thing he's ever seen.
"Okay," he kissed your cheek, neither of you thinking about how you ended up like this, just deciding to enjoy the moment while it lasted and go with the flow of things.
He leafed through his drawers, finding the smallest shirt he owned, and luckily, he had a pair of unused boxers that you could wear. He brought everything to you and slipped it through the crack of the door opening. "I'll wait outsid-" You grabbed his wrist instead of the clothes, practically dragging him back into the bathroom with you. You appreciate him wanting to give you your privacy, but you didn't mind having him there with you.
You both laughed out loud, you laughing at his shocked face and him laughing at your boldness. "Let me help you," he said, helping you slip your arms through the holes. He grabbed the front of his white button-up shirt, fastening it up for you and kissing you one button at a time. "Knew you'd look so cute in this," he compliments.
"Thank you," you blushed, and he kneeled down, helping you step into his boxers, pulling them all the way up for you, and kissing your hip bone. He finished dressing you, and at this point, you're not even sure how you were coherent cause he literally got on his knees to help you get dressed. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and if you didn't know any better, you'd say you had fallen in love with him at some point tonight.
"All done," he stood up like he didn't just make your heart beat one thousand times faster. “Come on,”
He took your hand in his, stroking it with his thumb, leading you out of the bathroom as he turned off the lights in the bathroom before he went to his drawer, mindlessly dropping his towel at his feet while you sat on the bed he picked out his clothes, and you covered your blushing face it's not like you hadn't seen him naked nearly a hundred times but tonight felt different somehow.
He looked over, and he laughed softly, seeing you going all shy from his nudity.
He got a text on his phone alerting him that the food had arrived, and he mentally gave himself a pat on the back for getting everything right so far. "Wait here." he left and came back into his room a few minutes later with the food, getting comfortable on the bed as he let you take your choice of the first slice.
He grabbed the TV remote, turning on your favorite movie that was already set up on the TV before you even arrived.
"How did you know?" You ask him in surprise cause how the heck did he know your favorite food and movie?
"I don't know." he shrugged and grabbed a slice of pizza, trying to play off the fact that he was blushing.
He cut his eyes at you, and you were clearly still waiting for an answer. "Your first day at school, you mentioned it," he mumbled, getting all shy.
"You remembered? That was like months ago," you asked, your eyes twinkling with excitement.
"I always remember the things that I care about." he looked you straight in the eyes, and you immediately looked away, his gaze far too intense for your poor heart to handle.
He cleared his throat and turned to the movie playing on the screen while you both ate in silence.
Half an hour later, you both finished eating, and he set the empty box on his nightstand along with the cola that he let you have most of. How could he not when you asked him for more so nicely?
He pretended to stretch out and sneakily put his arm around your shoulder, laying back against the bed frame, bringing your body as close to his as humanly possible. His heart melts when you snuggle up to his chest, inhaling his scent, and he thinks now's the perfect time. Everything else went perfect, and there's no way this couldn't go perfect as well.
It just had to.
He stretched his free arm over to the drawer, pulling out the contract that you ripped, which was now taped and pieced all back together. “Y/n?” He calls out to you softly and you look up at him humming in acknowledgment.
He hands you the paper, and you look at the ripped contract. "Why do you still have the-" you stop mid-sentence, eyes going wide when you look at the bottom where there was a new addition.
"I really am not sure what to say, but I'll just say what I feel and hope it makes sense. I know things started out rough, but I've liked you since day one, and I couldn't help but at least try with you, so y/n, even though we said some mean things to each other and did some things with each other that enemies don't do, will you restart with me? I swear it can be like this all the time, and you were right. I was doing all that stuff to get your attention the only way I knew how, and I know it was silly, and I acted like a grade-schooler with a crush, but I'm sorry for spilling all those drinks on you," he pouted, and you couldn't help but laugh softly remembering those times. "And I'm sorry for everything else, too. I was just confused and jealous that I wasn't getting your attention. I just did whatever it took to at least get you to notice me, even if it was negative, and I don't know. I just think you're really special and just a great person overall. I want you in my life. And please tell me if this is too soon, but I've been thinking about it for a long time now, and I'd just like to ask if you'd give me the honor of being your boyfriend?" He holds the pen out for you, his hand shaking with nerves as he looks at you with his soft brown eyes.
This was not what you were expecting when he texted you tonight, but you were not disappointed by any means when you came over, and technically, it wasn't so soon. You'd known him for more than three months, and you saw what kind of guy he was when he was around his friends, not to mention you were literally wearing his clothes in his bed after eating the food he bought for you, and he treated you to an evening full of everything you could ever wish for you'd never forget the fun you had with him tonight and there wasn't any reason you could see to say no to him and on top of everything else yeji had the best friends ever and you trusted her judgment as much as you trusted Heeseung's intentions with you.
"YES!" you snatched the pen from his hand excitedly, enthusiastically circling the check box that said yes.
You put the paper down, hugging him so tight he could barely breathe, but he didn't care cause you just made him the happiest man on the planet. "Thank you for giving me a chance." he hugs you back, running his hand along your back.
"I should be the one thanking you. I'm sorry for everything, too; I never meant any of it." You booped the point of his nose. "You're not a pig, and you're not ugly in the mornings, and I don't hate you."
"Aww, It's okay, baby. I forgive you. You forgive me?" he laughs softly.
"Of course." You both smiled as he went in for a quick peck.
“You smell so good.” he buries his face in the crook of your neck, and you giggle shyly.
“Thank you, baby” you reply sheepishly.
"So, by the way, where do you want the wedding to be?" he says out of nowhere, shocking you.
"What?" You pulled away from his hug, confusion written all over your face. "What wedding?"
"Make sure you always read the fine print, baby. Now you're stuck with me." You both broke out into a fit of laughter, nothing but happiness reflecting in each other's eyes.
After your laughter died down a bit, you pouted, remembering what started this whole mess between you two in the first place.
"But wait, I thought you hated me."
"I never said that. You said you hated me!"
-
The next day at school, you and Heeseung arrived early, going to hang out with the rest of the group outside on the park bench where you all first met. You sat side by side, and heeseung rested his head on your shoulder. He was literally clinging to you all morning long. He didn't let you do anything without some part of him touching you, and you didn't mind cause you thought it was the cutest thing ever how he went from ignoring you to not being able to separate himself from you.
Your friend's jaws were dropped to the ground when they saw the two of you being so close to each other.
"Okay, what the fuck? I think we missed a few episodes here," Sunghoon says.
Jay laughs, nodding his head in agreement. "I think we missed the whole damn series."
Heeseung smiled softly at your guy's friends and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, his hands wrapping around your waist as you ran your fingers through his shiny black hair, causing all your friends to fake gag at the blatant show of affection.
"Not a series, just 90 days." You smiled and rested your head on top of Heeseung's.
"I was there for the sneak peek preview!" Jake stood up and shouted, his fist held up in the air triumphantly. He had a feeling about the two of you practically from the start, but he couldn't give himself too much credit. You guys were a little obvious from the start, especially heeseung. Sunghoon quickly yanked him back down by his wrist so he'd stop shouting in the early morning.
You laughed at the two, shaking your head softly as heeseung tightened his hold around you. And who knew that a contract could change your life? This was the best summer ever and going to be the best fall with your boyfriend by your side, and though you both started on the wrong side, everything worked out in the end, all thanks to Heeseung and his contract….
90 days of pleasure.
FIN.
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90 days of pleasure taglist🔖 @capri-cuntz @heeseungshim @haelahoops @kimochiloveshee @heesoo11 @hoonxclsvly @yjwluvs @rizzhee @hanjisunginc @enpynhee @zerasari @parksunghoonsgf @ionlyreadforfanfics @heesquared @rayofsunshineeee @heeoao @iamliacamila @moktahiya @nycapartmentsworld @enwrites @adeoluhh @meiskra @jungwoning8 @fakeuwus @littlelilies @wooziswife @jongsaengjay @heehoonsnemo @eneiyri @chubbypeach2111 @kaykay11sworld @eskopiganja @live-your-wild-life @chasing-acid @jakehooni @haesgurl6 @hello-stranger24 @en-happiness @alienqbrain @jvjsssnaa @amortapes @parkchimmylove @ethelia @seochannnn @httpsneptvnn @httpsrinrin @nellwoo @pasteltheghost16 @swimmingmoonmentality @mwahvvis @browniestraykidshiteu @rikisly @perfectnighttt @euphoric-tama @enha-enhypen @mimimovv @wannieepisod @nctislifue
Permanent taglist🔖 @moon7jay @heesitation @hee-pster @furious-eagle @hoyeonheeseung
Thank you for reading. Please reblog and leave feedback. - 🐹
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nyanggk · 1 year
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PLEASE READ !
hey guys! I know I've been ia for most of the year til now but it has been brought to my attention that an anon is spreading false accusations about me.
around a month ago or so, a rude anon sent me an ask. they were screaming in my inbox calling me names and telling me to delete 20 days before heaven.
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(I blocked them but tumblr bugged and these 2 asks stayed in my notifs however they are not in my ask box anymore. i can't show u the whole ask for obv reasons. obv reason being that I blocked it as I didn't think they would come stalking me a month later)
as you all know, I've been under fire because of immature and unreasonable anons before so I've made it a point to block any anon ask that seemed like hate speech— regardless of what they're saying. I didn't answer them because they were being rude and I believe that I have already addressed this matter MONTHS ago.
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this comment is an example. posted aug 6, 2022 a few days or a week after 20 days before heaven was posted.
i thought it ended there, however, just a few days ago while i was on vacation, i recieved a tumblr dm from the kflixnet admins. turns out, they have sent asks to the kflixnet admins telling them to reach out to me, tell me to delete the fic and/or kick me out of the network. good thing that kflixnet admins sent me a dm first so we were able to resolve the situation. I'm not sure what they did next to the ask (if they ignored it, answered it, etc)
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though they've said that they want to address this matter privately— stated in their message towards the kflixnet admins, they have been sending immature asks towards my moots. though it is censored, it is clearly me they are talking about based off of the amount of letters and the k at the end.
once again, I'm thankful because none of my moots (as far as I know) believe this bs and didn't even bother answering
officially, I want to reiterate that I do not know about honor in the rains story. I have never had a wattpad account back then aside from a few months ago when genie (end-hypen) recommended me a jungwon fic on wattpad and read it, however besides that, I have not used wattpad at all and I did not plagiarise honor in the rain's in 27 days.
i gave the story a quick read and did notice similarities, however, besides death giving mc the chance to revive someone— which in itself is a common plot in regards to time traveling stories, my story stems out from that.
I hope you realize that not everyone lives the same life you do. people can not have a wattpad account and can be unaware of what you're saying so don't come screaming rude bullshit in my dms claiming that I plagiarised something and expect me to respond to you. note, I'm not saying I didn't hear abt wattpad back then, all I'm saying is that I've never dl-ed it (had to explain because God forbid you ppl twist my words again and start assuming)
though I've read the story, I'm not sorry to say but I will not be putting an "inspired by" or "based off of" in my notes because that would be lying, nor am I going to delete this fic because honestly, what the fuck is wrong with you people. deleting a fic isn't the answer to anything.
examples are; (1) in that story, the fem lead and male lead didn't know eo initially and tbh, she had absolutely no reason to save him and go through all that trouble for someone she didnt even no aside for the reason that she can save a life, while mine already had mutual pining.
(2) they (in 24 days) actually went through 24 days with eo while trying to convince him that killing himself isn't the answer. mine was more about the butterfly effect and how a simple kindness/concern shown towards others can make a huge impact on how their lives steer. heeseung was supposed to confess to reader but got stopped due to bullying and his life spiraled downwards. the bullying mixed with his personal problems were what drove him to initially take his life on his birthday.
(3) there's no monster trying to harm them— though they thought that there was.
(4) heeseung doesn't work at some cafe run by his parents, (5) he's not emo, (6) and he's certainly in love with the fem lead from the get go. if you read the story then you would've known.
please leave me and my moots the fuck alone. you make tumblr a worse platform than twitter.
sorry for the notif but I'll be tagging some of my moots to help spread the issue and to also let them know what's happening in the case that someone also sent them an ask in regards to this situation
@end-hyphen @forjongseong @bruh-changbin @chiyuv @1800-jaeyun @enha-cafe @enha-doodles @donghoonie-3 @evermorehoon @heetro @jayked @mimikittysblog @palajae @rikismiel @svnoohe4rts
ik it's prolly been a hot while since I've talked to u guys and I'm sorry that this had to be one of the first things u see by me in a long while 🙏
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jujitto · 7 months
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﹒✒️﹒𝗇𝗈 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗅𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝗇𝖾𝗑𝗍 𝖽𝗈𝗈𝗋﹕𝗅𝖾𝖾 𝗁𝖾𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗎𝗇𝗀 ﹒
⭒ ۪ ׂ ۪ genre ۪ ׂ 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍 ⭒ ۪ ׂ ۪ cw ۪ ׂ ۪𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗆𝗎𝗋𝖽𝖾𝗋, 𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗈𝖽 ⭒ ۪ ׂ ۪ wc ۪ ׂ 𝟣.𝟢𝗄
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I remember the day I moved in. They had told me no one lived next door. But why can I hear screams and cries for someone to help? But they told me no one lived next door. But why I can hear banging on the walls next to me each night? But they told me no one lived next door.
But what about the phone calls and the voices I hear at night? But they told me multiple times that no one lived next door. On the very first day, I believed what they had told me. No one lived next door. Until the very first night, I had heard someone crying almost screaming. Crying out for help. I stood frozen in place not knowing whether to go help or to call the police.
But then I remembered that no one lived next door. Those are the words that just kept repeating over and over in my head. The second night was even worse when I heard something banging against my wall. The cries got louder and the banging got louder. Everything coming from that place was getting louder and louder by the second.
I covered my ears huddling deeper into the couch. Trying to not hear the disturbing sounds that were coming from that apartment. That apartment that they told me that no one lived in.
That's how it went on for weeks. I just kept hearing strange and disturbing noises coming from that apartment. Wondering if they had lied to me. Lied to me and said that no one lived in the apartment even when I heard noises to prove that someone lived in that apartment.
But not only lived in that apartment but were having terrible things done to them in that apartment. No one told me anything I just kept going about the day as usual. Until one day as I had exited my apartment, so did you. But the unusual thing about it had to be the fact that you had exited the apartment they said no one lived in. But to me, it seemed like someone did live there.
You. You looked at me in surprise before reaching your hand out for me to shake. I took it with a smile on my face. 'Are you new?' I asked curiously because if you weren't something strange was going on in this building. 'Actually, I am. I'm Heeseung. I just moved in. You must be my neighbor?' You asked. I nodded as you smiled.
'Yep, so I'll be here whenever you need me. But just don't come too quickly.' I joked as you laughed along with me. You were the first neighbor who was nice to speak to. And you were around my age. Maybe everything would be better since you were here. No more noises or voices coming from the apartment. Nothing.
Until that very same night. The screams have started again. I jumped from my bed and hurried down the hallway to your door. You opened the door just a crack, just enough for me to see your face but nothing more. 'Are you all right? I thought I heard some noise.' I spoke as you were quick to shake your head. Even from where I stood, I could see that you were shaking as if you were freezing. I tried to step closer but the more I did the more you tried to close the door.
I took a step back smiling a reassuring smile. 'Y-you don't have to worry about me. It was just my mom who had nightmares. T-thank you for your concern though. ' With that, you close the door in my face. But the next morning you're acting as if everything was okay.
You were smiling and laughing at my jokes just like you always did. I hadn't even noticed Ms. Lim who stepped out of her apartment looking at me in confusion. 'Y/N who are you out here laughing with?' She asked. Now it was my turn to be confused. 'I was talking to Hee-." I turned to notice that you were gone. Where had you gone in such a hurry? 'No one Ms. Lim.' She smiled and nodded before continuing to the elevator. Everything was starting to become confusing but maybe it was all a coincidence.
Maybe it was all a coincidence that everything that happened in the apartment before you moved in, seemed to happen even now, as you were living in the apartment.
Maybe it was a coincidence that nobody seemed to know who you were or that they hadn't seen you around the building like I had. Maybe it was a coincidence that you of all people had moved into the building. Maybe it was a coincidence that everyone seemed to shutter the moment I mentioned your name. 'Heeseung. His name is Heeseung. You know, our neighbor.' I spoke as no one had said anything.
Everyone looked at me as if they had seen a ghost. Was it something I said? 'Y/N dear, take a look at this, would you?' Ms. Lim spoke handing me her phone. There was a news article pulled up on the screen. As I read it I could feel my stomach bubble. But the moment I saw the picture I could feel the bubble in my stomach pop.
Sitting there staring back at me through the phone screen was you, Lee Heeseung. Sitting there smiling for a picture. The tears welled up in my eyes. That's why they didn't see you, you didn't live in the building at least not anymore.
You were murdered here. That's the moment I realized that I talking to a ghost. Laughing, hanging out with someone who is no longer alive. I no longer saw you after I had found out. I couldn't take it anymore. It made me go crazy, knowing that I not only lived next to a crime scene but was also talking to the victim who had been murdered in that apartment.
Murdered by your own mother who saw you as her worst nightmare. After months of staying there, I finally moved out. It was making me go crazy, knowing that something like that had happened and no one bothered to tell me.
The last few days in the apartment I no longer heard any noise coming from next door. No more screams, no more banging, no more voices, nothing at all. I never even looked at the apartment even as I would pass it in the hallway. The last day I had passed by the door as I was moving out, I could feel someone was watching me.
I wondered if it was you. How long have you been watching me? But was it you? I knew it was. As I was driving away I looked back at the apartment building to see you staring at me as I drove away. I looked away only to look back and not see you there. Just like the first day, I moved in. Nothing was there. That apartment was empty. Just like the landlord told me. Told me no one lived next door.
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