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j0kers-light · 9 months

Note

I got a oneshot idea (if you wanna do it).

In this Y/n and joker are in her apartment doing whatever, then someone knocks on the door.

Y/n makes joker hide in the bedroom while she checks the door. To see that it is her neighbour from a floor below with her 3 year old kid. Y/n curses before she opens the door because at that moment she remembers something she had promised to do.

Her neighbour had asked her to babysit months ago while she goes on a business trip only for a day. Y/n opens the door and they greet each other. Y/n had babysat the kid a few times before. It’s a chill toddler and just watches Bluey and naps, doesn’t talk much. Kid has little backpack with snacks, toys, favourite blanket and a few night nappies (diapers. I’m British that’s why)

Now the mum leaves and we have Y/n, (name of kid, you decide) and joker. Now obviously the joker can’t stay in the room alone. He has no patience for that. Walks out to find a toddler on the couch.

How will this interaction go? How will the day go? And will it end well?

(Side note: I think Joker would pull scary faces at the kid when y/n is not looking. And definitely gets jealous when she give the kid more attention.)

Ps - I think the little kid should be a little boy. I think it’s more fitting.

His Lighthouse: Baby Sat (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Baby Sat - Oneshot

KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT A STORY UPDATE!

OKAY! Stop what you're doing because I went over the board with this one!!! @c-dot2003 I'm sob crying, I am feral at the masterpiece I have created and its all thanks to you!! I could not stop writing after I started! You gave me a perfect image in my mind and this is the by product.

We talked about this but wow 😭😫😫 I might have to revisit this or add it to an official His Lighthouse chapter because WOW! Joker with a kid? That'll do it!

I am unwell. He's unwell. My eyes have water in them. ENJOY!

taglist:

@blackreaderatrisk @twinkledinkle @clemdango04 @l3ejm @tears-of-amber @what-an-angel @darthjokerisyourfather @thatsnoteii @dollster @cheetahspy @kaidennnnn @urdariingdoll @motivation-idontknowher

Wanna be included in the His Lighthouse journey? Join the taglist!

Another bright and early day in the Y/L household. You were sitting on the couch, laptop in hand while Joker idly watched the morning news next to you.

Neither of you had plans for the day which is why when an urgent knock was heard from the front door, both of you were confused.

Joker arched an eyebrow as if saying, are you expecting anyone? You shook your head in the negative but set your laptop aside to go answer the door. Another urgent knock rasped against it.

"Geez.. I'm coming, I'm coming."

All it took was a look through the peephole to have you scrambling to action. "Uhh, j-just a second!" You turned back towards the living room where Joker was already staring at you from the couch. "Go hide!"

"Why?"

Of all days, why did Joker have an attitude today? He yawned when whoever standing outside gave up knocking and began ringing the doorbell.

You were about to yell at Joker but he turned the tv off and left the living room before you drew a breath. The second you heard his bedroom door slam closed, you opened the front door.

"Ana! What a pleasant surprise!"

The businesswoman was dressed for the office in a dress shirt tucked neatly inside a crisp pencil skirt. Her heels tapped loudly on the floor as she shifted her precious cargo in her grip.

"Sorry for knocking so loud, Y/n. I'm already running late and I have to make it to the train station before it leaves. Did you forget?" She asked when you tilted your head to the side.

"Pfff! No! Forget what?" You laughed nervously.

She wasn't buying it. "You promised to watch Gio for me."

That seemed to jog your memory. You did forget when Ana struck up a conversation on the elevator a few months ago about her day long convention in Metropolis.

She was excited about her merger deal but she would have to cancel the closing ceremony if she couldn't find a babysitter. She went on and on about her dilemma and you listened, having nowhere else to go. Her husband would be on a business trip of his own so you took pity on your neighbour and agreed.

It was just one day watching a three year old. How bad could it be?

Ana swore up and down that Gio was the chillest kid ever and she wasn't lying. The three year old rested his head on his mother's chest and sucked his thumb while she talked. He hadn't made a sound since they arrived.

It wasn't your first time babysitting. You did it here and there for cash back in high school but you never watched over such a mellow kid before.

Would it really be this easy? Ana was willing to pay you handsomely for the job even after you denied payment.

You shook your head and returned to the present. You promised to help your neighbour. It was the right thing to do, even if you forgot.

"Yeah! Yeah! I remember. Come on in!" You stepped aside and waved your arm inside for her to follow. Ana smiled and began thanking you.

"I cannot thank you enough, love. James is already on a trip of his own and my usual nannies fell through. I packed an overnight bag for you."

You watched the Brit set a duffel bag down on your dining room table and shift Gio onto her hip.

He finally noticed you and waved his chubby fist your way. His brunet hair was sticking every which way and he still had sleep in his eyes, it was so early.

"He'll probably sleep in until noon. If not, he likes to watch cartoons, Bluey to be exact. I packed his favourite snacks, toys and blankie. He can't sleep without it."

"His nappies are in here and that'll do it. If you need anything, and I mean anything, give me a ring. Gio's never an interruption. You'll be a good boy for Miss. Y/n?" She cooed to her son.

He nodded his head and yawned. He was the cutest!

"Still sleepy he is. Mum loves you and she'll be back tomorrow morning, bright an' early. Be good!" She kissed the crown of his hair before handing him to you.

He was so light and warm in your arms. It had been a while since you held a little one. You were getting a little emotional.

You were worried that Gio wouldn't accept you but sure enough, he nuzzled up to you just like he did with his mum. Ana cooed at the adorable sight and checked her smartwatch.

"I gotta run. Thank you again, Y/n!" She let herself out as you waved goodbye.

The door closed and then it was just you and Gio. He was already dozing off but you helped him along with a soft lullaby you knew.

Once you were certain the kiddo was fast asleep, you gently placed him on your couch.

It was plush enough to keep him in place. You didn't want him rolling over and taking a plunge to the floor but just in case, you arranged pillows and such, should you fail to catch him in time.

You then grabbed his personal blanket from his overnight bag and tossed it over his shoulders.

You made sure your house guest was secure before you grabbed your laptop and got back to work. You hoped your rhythmic keystrokes were soothing to Gio. The little tyke was fast asleep and his long lashes fluttering mid dream made you smile.

Your head nodded to an imaginary beat as you worked on writing a new scene for your book. You were so lost in the moment, you didn't notice that time had passed until your stomach growled.

Your gaze flickered over to Gio and found him still asleep so you were confident you could run to the kitchen and back before anything bad could happen.

Sadly, you didn't factor in your roommate into the equation.

Joker hated when you had visitors because he had to take refuge in the bedroom. He could usually hear when people left, but today it was too quiet and you didn't come and tell him that the coast was clear.

With no way of knowing if it was safe or not, Joker was stuck in the guest bedroom until further notice. It wasn't the worst place to be cooped up, he just preferred being with you.

Joker had no plans but he wanted to spend the day in your company while he did nothing.

Ten minutes passed, then thirty until a full hour came and went with no word. Did you leave or something without telling him? Joker was not about to stay in his room all day until you came back. He did not have the patience for that.

With an annoyed growl on his lips, Joker poked his head out the door and looked down the hall.

The penthouse was dead quiet. You must've stepped out. It would've been nice if you told him before you left but whatever.

Joker walked past the kitchen, (at the exact moment you bent down to pick up something that you dropped) and headed towards the living room.

His Light was nowhere to be found.

You even left in such a hurry you didn't put your laptop away. He smacked his lips at your carelessness but jumped back in disgust when he saw something on the couch.

He couldn't tell what it was since it was under a hideous printed blanket but it moved in slow even movements. Joker was ready to hurl it across the room when it finally poked its head out from under the covers and locked eyes with him.

Joker froze as a pair of hazel eyes blinked owlishly at him.

"Now where did you come from?" Joker wondered. How did a kid get in your apartment?

The boy sat up and rubbed his eyes while taking in his surroundings, completely ignoring Joker.

Now that was new.

Most children screamed or cried the moment they saw Joker. Granted he wasn't wearing his clown makeup today, his scars were just as hideous sans makeup than with. Children were so weird.

He tried making scary faces but the boy either didn't care, or was too sleepy to react. Joker hummed in defeat, thus gaining the toddler's attention.

And so the staring match began anew. Jade versus hazel. The former losing instantly.

"WhaT? Do ya want somethin'?" Joker mumbled. He dug around his pockets and found a swiss army knife.

J offered it to the kid who looked at in confusion. "Take it! Geez do I gotta... Here. Lemme show you. If ya.. open it like this, see?" The blade clicked out and Gio's eyes widened at the shiny new toy in front of him.

Now we were getting somewhere!

Joker smiled at the boy's reaction and handed him the knife. Gio took it in his hands, cooing lightly.

"Yeah, very uhh, shiny. I li-ke this one for quick torture. It makes sharP but deep cuts on the skin to uhh.."

"WHAT'S THAT IN YOUR HAND?!"

Both boys turned to stare at you when you shouted. You looked on in horror as Joker sat before Gio with the youngest of the two wielding a knife.

Your soul floated to the ceiling.

"NO! Knives are bad Gio!" You rushed over and yanked the weapon away. And just like any kid who's toy was taken, Gio started to cry.

"I'm sorry, but that's very dangerous! You could've hurt yourself! Come here, we'll get your toys to play with, mkay?" You picked up the crying toddler who nodded in between wet hiccups.

Joker was speechless. All of your attention was on this random child and not him! You didn't even notice that you grabbed the knife by its blade. J was worried that you cut yourself but he couldn't check on you.

You didn't spare Joker a mere glance.

He wondered how you came in possession of someone's kid. Whoever came to your door must've dropped them off but Joker couldn't wrap his head around as to why you would accept to babysit with him here.

Having him around a child was a terrible idea. You should've known that.

Case in point was the reason why you were consoling a crying toddler. Joker sat on the floor (miffed and jealous) and watched you calm Gio down like a pro.

You look so at ease holding a child, looking all soft and motherly. He couldn't look away no matter how hard he tried. Watching you interact with a kid was making Joker feel all fuzzy inside. He didn't know what the feeling was but he rather enjoyed the sight in front of him until you walked away towards the dining table.

Again, ignoring him. He hated when you did that.

"Gio, look what mum left for you to play with!"

You pulled out a smaller bag from Gio's large duffel containing his toys and returned to the living room. You stepped over Joker's legs to sit down in a more clearer area. He had half a mind to trip you up.

Then you set Gio down on the floor and dumped his toys out all around him.

He giggled and grabbed a fire truck that lit up when he pushed a button. You in turn pushed an ambulance, intimating the siren, and crashed it into his sock clad feet.

Your theatrics earned you another giggle; pure and sweet.

A child's laughter could cure any soul. Even Joker found himself smiling. He leaned back on the couch and watched you play with the boy as if it were your average Thursday routine.

You drove the ambulance around before looking up and catching Joker's lidded gaze. A part of you forgot he was here. You flushed red and looked away. As if you could forget an imposing presence like Joker's.

And why was he looking at you likethat?

"Ahem, um there's a truck right there if you w-wanna join us." You offered.

Quite honestly, you doubted Joker would even entertain the thought of playing with children's toys but there were many a things you reluctantly got Joker to do.

All he needed was just a little push in the right direction.

Gio took the initiative to include J. The little tyke picked up his 18 wheeler truck and pushed it towards Joker. It came to a stop against J's leg. Gio made a crashing noise and fell over in giggles.

Joker rolled his eyes. Seriously? What was he supposed to do after that? He had experience driving a big rig but not a toy one. This was so demoralizing. Joker snuck a glance at you right as you hid a laugh behind your hand.

He only did this for you.

He did not like this snotty nose kid. Joker turned the truck around and crawled over to join the two of you. "I uhhhh like big trucks. They're great for ahh, ramming into police cars." He did just that to poor Gio's police force.

You glared at Joker who went overboard, driving over the flipped over police and civilian cars scattered along the makeshift road, and Gio enjoyed every minute of it.

Boys will be boys no matter the age.

You wished you had your phone with you; this was a kodak moment!

Joker was playing with a kid! And the clown was enjoying himself if his sinister grin was any clue. Him and Gio got along swimmingly so you sat back and watched your boys play together with a fond smile. It had you thinking what if and other dangerous possibilities.

After a while Gio grew tired of playing with his fleet of vehicles and got your attention by tugging your pant leg.

Joker was still laying on the floor acting as the blockade to even notice that 'traffic' wasn't coming anymore.

"I'm hungry." Gio's cute voice sighed. It was midday and you were still a little peckish from not eating earlier.

"Mmm. Well let's see what we can find to eat them little bug. To the kitchen!!!" You snatched Gio up in a fit of giggles and looked over your shoulder at Joker.

He'd finally noticed Gio was gone. "C'mon J, it's time for lunch."

He groaned but stood up and narrowly avoided stepping on that annoying batmobile... Would Gio notice if it suddenly disappeared?

Joker walked into the kitchen to witness you pull out various food groups from the fridge while Gio familiarized himself with the new room. He was walking circles around the island counter and trying to open the drawers way above his head.

"No, be careful Gio. Oh, J! Can you wash his hands for me while I whip up a lunch for us?"

You didn't hear his response and lifted your head.

Joker was looking at you like you grew a second head. "Do I look like a uhh baby–sit-er? I'll cook you handle.. that." He gestured to Gio on the floor.

The curious toddler found one of your stock pots and two wooden spoons. How, you'll never know, but the boy could very well be a drummer when he grows up.

"Okay deal. The leftover sandwiches should be fine but cut them into kid friendly sizes. Oh and cut the grapes and strawberries in half too." You called out before you sat down on the floor with Gio.

Every drummer needed a good backup.

You easily picked up the tune he was jamming to and clapped along to, you guessed it, the Bluey intro.

You snickered when you heard Joker cursing at the grapes to 'hold still' andpaid no mind when a few rolled off the counter and onto the floor.

Gio spotted one and tried to eat it but you snatched it away in enough time. "Ah! Do we eat off the floor?" The boy thought about it and shook his head.

"That's right! We have to wash the bad germs off!" You said.

"Germs taste yucky."

You giggled at Gio adorably explaining things to you although you overheard the huff from up above. You'd been with Joker long enough to know his various noises. He was jealous.

Joker hated sharing your attention with others but you thought it wouldn't apply to a literal child. Gio was not competition or a threat of any kind, but Joker still chose to be moody. You could only imagine his violent thoughts right now all over a kid.

You rolled your eyes and crawled over to wrap your arms around Joker's leg.

He stiffened immediately. "Bunny."

"Getting jealous over a three year old? Pfft, that's a new low. Mind sharing what that's about?"

He swatted at your head and grunted when you didn't move. You just clung to him like a koala bear even tighter. Joker sighed through his nose. You loved testing his limits..

"I'm noT jealous... I—"

Whatever Joker was about to say would forever be lost in time for in that moment, Gio copied your mannerisms and latched onto Joker's other leg.

You burst out laughing and pleaded with J not to shake Gio too much even if the boy was squealing in delight.

Apparently you were babysitting two children today. This was gonna be a long day.

In the end you had to coax Gio off of Joker's leg with the promise of cartoons. He quickly detached himself from the dark clown and happily sat in front of your tv, patiently waiting.

You set the tv to Bluey and knew the show would preoccupy Gio's attention for hours if need be.

Joker successfully cut the fruit in half even if the sandwich pieces were a little too big for your liking. It just meant you had to keep an eye on the little kiddo as he ate. You presented lunch to Gio who ate quietly while watching Bluey.

You were shocked that Joker knew to remove the crust for Gio. You asked J about it but he just grunted and ate the discarded crust along with his own portion of lunch.

You win some, you lose some. It was a start. To what, you had no idea.

Those dangerous thoughts from earlier were getting to you. This situation was just for one day. Ana would come pick up her son in the morning and you wouldn't have to deal with a child until..

'Y/n, do not go down that rabbit hole.' You mentally told yourself.

You distracted yourself by cleaning up lunch and thinking of an afternoon activity for Gio.

Too much screen time wasn't good for children his age. Maybe you could create a fun activity with things you already had on hand in your apartment. Didn't you have some old crafts in storage?

You were still washing dishes but peeked around the corner to check on Gio when you heard him laugh. Bingo was on screen doing something adorable but all was calm in your apartment so you resumed your chores.

Joker however was slowly losing the last of his sanity.

This is what parents let their children watch these days? Where was the action? The real world scenarios, the bitter reality?! What was Gio really learning here besides how to count and be annoying?

These characters weren't teaching Gio anything!

And last time Joker checked, dogs couldn't talk so how were they doing well over half of the things on this show? It was driving him nuts and he couldn't stand a second more.

Joker glanced over at you washing dishes in the kitchen. You still had that weird dopey smile on your face. You'd been lost in thought all day and could use a break from all of this babysitting.

He dragged his gaze over to the kid sitting on the couch.

The little one was dressed in a long sleeve graphic tee and drawstring pants. It was eerily similar to Joker's current outfit although he wore a pullover instead of a shirt.

If Joker stayed indoors any longer being force-fed this Bluey garbage, he would slit his own throat.

The end of the episode played and Gio turned towards Joker as if he felt the man's gaze on him.

Those innocent eyes really aggravated him! Why wasn't this boy afraid of him? He needed to fix that and Joker knew just the way to go about it.

Joker didn't hesitate snatching Gio up into his arms and grabbing the boy's miniature shoes on the way out of your apartment.

You finished washing the dishes and towel dried your hands with a content sigh. The kitchen was spotless again.

J was in the same room as Gio so you had a few more precious minutes to yourself before the former grew annoyed. Gio was younger than Joker but had far more patience; it was both funny and pathetic. You wisely chose to use the bathroom before reuniting with the boys.

Bingo was singing another one of her counting songs as you rounded the corner into the living room.

"..and if one green bottle should accidentally fall.. they'll be..... Seven green bottles on the wall! Seven green.."

She kept singing but you drowned her out when you noticed Gio and Joker weren't on the couch.

Bingo was just background noise in the state of your panic. Where were your boys?

You checked the main bathroom, Joker's bedroom and all of the other rooms in the penthouse in your blind hysteria. They were gone. You spoke aloud and began to pace after the third search came up empty.

"Don't panic, Y/n. You didn't lose Ana's child. This is just Joker messing with you. When I get my hands on that annoying green haired clown..... and he better answer the phone. C'mon, J. Answer the phone."

You dialed J's cell and gnawed on your thumbnail as it rang and rang. Right when you thought it would go to voicemail, he answered.

"WhaT can I...uh help.. ya with, doll?" Oh this man had some nerve.

You took a deep breath and slowly let it out. You did not have time for Joker's games. Your nerves were already shot. "Please tell me you have Gio."

You heard heavy traffic in the background and began to worry. Just where was he?

"So that's his name.."

You had the urge to drag Joker through the phone. How did he go half a day in Gio's presence and not know the boy's name?

"J?! Do you have Gio or not?!" God, why did you have a literal psychopath for a lover?

Times like this you questioned your taste in men. Joker abducted poor Gio and probably thought it was normal behavior. You raked a hand through your curls as you walked to the foyer closet to grab some shoes.

Wherever they were, it couldn't be far. It had been less than twenty minutes since you finished washing dishes. Hopefully Joker didn't board the subway or get a hold of wheels to broaden the distance between you and him.

You barely heard Gio in the background before Joker mumbled a short inaudible response to the little tyke.

He sighed before focusing back on you. "Ya know... too much screen time is uhhh bad for the little demon. You should err join us.. at the uhhh parK."

"Come play Y/n!"

Your hand froze on the front door handle when Gio's energetic voice echoed through the phone.

"Gio?! Are you okay? I'm on my way, little bug! Joker, if you hurt him I swear—"

"Do ya really think that lowly of me, Bunny? I'm hurt. We're across the street at the– careful! She just said..."

You heard Joker curse and Gio's infectious laughter. You couldn't wait for the elevator to make it to your floor. You took the stairs two at a time to race over to the park.

You didn't care what you looked like to your neighbours in the main lobby.

You bolted out of the elevator and sprinted across the street, (miraculously avoiding being hit by a taxi along the way) towards the kid friendly playground area in Grant Park.

It was a beautiful day out and there was a gentle breeze in the air that swayed the plethora of trees circling the park.

Other park goers were milling about but a small cluster of women stood off to the side, giggling amongst themselves.

"They're matching! Omg that is just too cute!"

"Lawd harmacy.. he's a certified DILF. You think he single?"

You came to a stop near them huffing and puffing and immediately stole their attention. One nanny eyed you up and down before speaking.

"Did you lose your charge? Been there, done that girl. Rookies these days.."

A blonde in a stylish tracksuit shook her head your way. She noticed you were looking every which way except straight ahead.

"I dunno Beth, looks like a true mum's panic mode to me. Where did you last see—"

"Y/n! Y/n! Look at me!"

You and the huddle of nannies turned to follow the loud cry that rang out over the rest.

Gio was at the top of the playground tower, waving his little arms at you.

Once you looked his way, he climbed into the slide and disappeared down the chute. He emerged a few seconds later at the end, all smiles with a head full of static hair.

"I did it!" Gio cheered.

He did a little dance and much to your surprise, he ran straight to Joker who didn't waste a second picking the boy up—tossing him high in the air—and giving him a lift right back to the top.

It was a sucker punch to your ovaries.

Joker interacted with a toddler just like any doting father would.

You couldn't see his face since he had it covered with a mask but his hair was pushed back and almost devoid of its signature green hair dye. He had yet to dye it since staying with you so the sunkissed strands were on full display.

Paired with Joker's casual pullover and drawstring pants, (the ones you told him not to leave the house in..) he looked normal. Scratch that.

Joker looked like a daddy.

Once his job was done, he leaned on the playground set and crossed his arms. His green eyes never wavered from Gio who was playing on the equipment.

Every female and envious male in the vicinity had their eyes on the mysterious father figure watching over his son.

Joker gained attention but still blended in perfectly with the citizens of Gotham. A true master of disguise.

You were speechless until Joker's eye naturally found yours. He curled his index finger in a come here motion and you would be a fool not to.

You ran over and tackled J in a hug. "You idiot! You can't just... take Gio and not tell me! I tore the apartment apart looking for him!"

Joker snorted and kept an eye on Gio who was playing pretend in the tower with another boy.

Things were fine for now so Joker focused all of his attention on you in his arms.

He smacked his lips and smoothed your hair down before tilting your chin up. "What about me hmm? Did ya care that I was missing too?" He chuckled when you rolled your eyes and shoved him away.

Joker let you turn around and sulk.

He just wrapped his arms around you from behind. The two of you stood in a lover's embrace and watched Gio have fun.

"Bunny.. Did you really think I would hurt the kid?" Joker kissed the top of your head. He wished he wasn't in public and not wearing this stupid mask. "I thought you could use a errr.. break sooo we went ouT."

You leaned back on Joker, "It's not that, J. You left. No heads up, no nothing. I had every right to panic the way I did. Ana trusted me to watch over her kid and I'm letting him hang around with Gotham City's most dangerous criminal. What kind of babysitter does that make me?"

It was quiet between the two of you except for the sound of laughter and nature in the park.

"Uhhh do ya want me to answer truth-full-yyy or..."

You twisted around to give Joker the stink eye. He wisely kept his mouth shut.

Elsewhere, the cluster of nannies were seething with jealousy. They were not expecting Joker to be spoken for.

"They look happy don't they Beth?" The nice one mentioned.

The ringleader turnt her nose up. "Whatever. He wasn't that hot.." They moved on to something else and left the adorable couple to their devices.

The day was getting late and it was time to either return home or drop off their charges back to their parents.

Gio was tuckered out from playing and walked over to you and Joker while rubbing his drooping hazel eyes.

"Is someone getting sleepy?" You broke away from Joker to bend down and pick up Gio. The boy yawned and rested his head on your chest, nodding.

You cooed at the sight.

Joker was once again struck by that weird feeling. Seeing you there, your beauty backlit by the dying sun with Gio tucked in your arms and smiling softly... you looked every bit a mother.

Who would be the lucky man to live this storyline with you? A beautiful wife and kid to come home to everyday?

Joker couldn't afford to think like that. It was dangerous and.. stupid.

But he wanted to be stupid and greedy and live out this fake scenario for as long as possible. You looked up when Joker rubbed your back. His hypnotic green eyes were shining like emeralds down at you and Gio.

"Let's head back."

To any bystander who happened to be looking, the three of you made for the perfect family. Your loving kindness and Joker's protective shield surrounding his lover and sweet little boy created an aura of happiness.

It was awe inspiring. Unfortunately if they knew the circumstances, they would understand how this family was never meant to be.

You didn't care if it was impossible, you wanted to believe it was for the rest of the day. You let your mind wander and simply live in the moment.

For now, this was real.

The sound of the doorbell woke you out of your sleep.

You stretched as Joker slept on beside you completely unawares. Gio somehow found Joker's stomach a better pillow than the rest and slept sprawled out over the Prince of Crime all night.

J didn't mind since he was flat on his back, actually sleeping for once.

After the impromptu park visit and a quick, but healthy dinner, bath time proved to be the only true nemesis to Joker.

You joked that he was getting old and he splashed water on you in retaliation. Gio thought the situation was funny and joined in on the fun and before you knew it, all three of you were soaking wet and absolutely sleepy.

Everyone changed into their pjs and crawled into bed and apparently you and Joker slept through the multiple calls Ana placed to your phone and the first knocks on the door.

The anxious mother resorted to ringing the doorbell when the sharp knocks failed to wake you.

You really didn't care about looking presentable, you just grabbed a sleeping Gio, (shushing J back to sleep while doing so) and shuffled to the front.

Thank goodness you were smart and packed Gio's overnight bag yesterday. You were half asleep just answering the door.

"Oh. Someone had a rough night." Ana said as she walked in. The businesswomen assumed her boy would be up bright and early, happy to see her but he was out cold in your arms.

She quirked an eyebrow at the unusual behavior.

"He slept the entire night? No fuss?"

You waved away her concern. "Yeah, all night. We went to the park, ate dinner. Took a very wet bath and went out like a light." You blinked at the time on the room's clock. "And just woke up."

Ana was shocked. Gio usually had trouble sleeping in new environments and even more when his mum wasn't around. She opened her arms to take him while you went to grab his bag. You were amazing after all.

"I cannot thank you enough Y/n. You don't know how much this means to me and James."

You yawned. "Who?"

Ana sweat dropped and decided to finish this conversation when you were actually awake to participate. She'd stop by later with a thank you meal and your payment.

She thanked you again and left and you quickly locked back up before shuffling back to bed.

Joker was awake and moved over for you to climb back in.

"He's gone?" J asked. You nodded and curled up into Joker's arms, ready to fall back asleep. Joker wanted to talk to you about something but he underestimated just how quickly you could slip under.

Your eyes were already closed and you were already adopting a rhythmic breathing pattern.

He rolled his eyes and pulled the covers up to your shoulders. He hoped you were sound asleep but the words tumbled from his lips regardless.

"You'll make a uhhh great mother someday, my Light."

#ledger joker x reader #ledger joker #black!fem!reader #joker x y/n #reader insert #thanks for the ask!#romance #a03 writer #cross posted on wattpad #cross posted on ao3 #his lighthouse #babysitting #Joker with a child #DILF vibes #no spoilers #but this might turn into one #fluff

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inagetawaycarxo · 6 years

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Parenting Headcanon »Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose«

Requested by Anon: Can you please do one either about Seth or Dean just being an amazing father to readers and his baby. Thank you! & Seth being an amazing father to reader and his baby. Thank you!

A/N: I did both of them for ya.

B/n= baby’s name┊ m/n= middle name┊Dob= date of birth ┊tob=time of birth

Master list ~ Send in a request

Seth Rollins:

Before the baby is born he would make sure the house is baby proof and had baby furniture in the house and nursery.

He would also read all parenting books.

Crushing Seth’s hand while you give birth to yours and his baby. Not that he minds.

The both of you breaking down when you’s hold the baby for the first time.

“{S} he is so beautiful.” Seth whispered, as he pressed his lips against the top of your head.

“{S} he’s so tiny.” You whispered, as you looked down at the bundle of joy that you were holding in your arms.

Seth would be in absolute awe whenever b/n would wrap his/her’s tiny fingers around his thumb.

Seth would absolutely be excited to become a dad, but at the same time, he would be nervous too.

Seth posting a selfie of you, him and the little bub. “Welcome to the world b/n, m/n Lopez. {dob}, {tob}. This little bub is going to be a future women’s/male champion.”

Seth would be so proud to be a father.

You’s two agreeing on a name.

Seth being so excited to show the baby to his mother.

He would be so excited when you’s take the baby home.

Seth would drive really slowly when you’s come home from the hospital.

“You can drive faster than 40 you know.” You spoke, as you sat in the back with the baby.

“Are you crazy y/n, we have a baby on board.” Seth huffed, still going slow.

Seth helping out with the baby.

He would be in absolute awe at his little baby.

Seth always getting up when the baby wakes up.

“I got this, you just sleep.” Seth spoke, getting out of bed and going to the nursery.

Unless the baby needs a feed.

But if you aren’t there, then he’ll warm the bottles up and feed the baby.

Nap time normally means you’s all take naps.

Seth taking a nap on the couch with a sleeping baby on his stomach.

Sometimes you’ll even find him asleep in the rocking chair with the baby in his arms. Which makes you love him even more. Also, you take a picture of it.

Seth feeding the baby.

Taking turns changing the diaper.

Seth cuddling with the baby.

Seth reading to the baby.

Seth loves interacting with the baby.

“I love you little one, you’re going to be a kingslayer/queenslayer.” Seth cooed, as he laid down next to the baby.

“What if {s}he doesn’t have the last name Rollins as their ring name?” you asked

“{S} he’s still related to me, jezz.” Seth huffed, sitting up straight and crossing his arms, as he pouted like a toddler, while b/n looked at you’s two in amusement.

Seth would be so proud when yours and his family meet the baby.

Seth being in awe at every little thing the baby does.

Seeing his baby smile & laugh melts his heart.

Seth making an Instagram account for the baby.

Going to the baby’s appointments with you.

Seth buying the baby Chicago bear baby merch.

Seth helping you with bath time.

Seth would be protective of b/n when you’s go out.

Seth would be so devastated when he has to go back to work.

The highlights of his day are face timing you and the baby when he’s on the road.

Seth being worried about you and the baby when he’s at work.

You sending him selfies & videos of the baby when he’s on tour. {even if the baby just makes weird noises}

Seth bragging to his co-workers about the baby.

He would be so proud when you take the baby to RAW.

The whole entire raw rooster loving the baby.

Obviously, the bub would wear his merch.

“You know {s} he won’t fit into that yet.” You spoke, as you hold the child’s shirt in your hand.

“I know which is why I got this made.” He beamed, pulling out a Seth Rollins baby t-shirt.

“You’re adorable.” You laughed, as he quickly took off the shirt that the baby was wearing and put on his merch shirt, smiling proudly at the baby, while b/n smiled happily at him, reaching {s} he arms up, waiting to be picked up.

“Now we’re all matching, let’s take a family selfie.” Seth spoke, picking up b/n, and turning towards you. Both Seth and b/n smiling at you.

Seth is convinced that his baby is going to be a wrestler.

“{S} he’s going to wrestling school, b/n is going to be a wrestler.” Seth spoke.

“Nah, b/n is going to be a doctor, or a dentist, or a scientist or a policeman.” You argued.

“That’s boring, b/n wants to be a wrestler, don’t cha ya.” He cooed to b/n, as the baby let out a squeal of delight.

Seth would spoil the baby with affection and gifts.

The baby’s first-word being “dada” which makes Seth the happiest dad on the plant.

Seth being emotional when the baby starts crawling.

Seth would be so worried whenever he’s baby gets sick, it breaks his heart to see his baby sick.

Lots of selfies with him and the baby, and all of you’s three together.

Seth having lots of pictures of his baby on his phone.

Seth getting emotional on father’s day since it’s his first father’s day.

Seth would be so ecstatic when it’s Halloween.

He would choose all of your costumes so their matching.

B/n would be a mini Seth.

When Christmas comes around Seth would be so excited to see his baby and you. Though you’s two would have to celebrate it early, but that doesn’t matter.

Seth would do anything for his baby.

Dean Ambrose:

You thought Dean would be chill in the delivery room but boy you were completely wrong. He was so worried that something might go wrong.

Holding your baby for the first time leaves you and dean in a sobbing mess. Both of you’s crying tears of joy.

Any doubts he had about being a father vanished when he held his baby in his arms.

When b/n tiny fingers wrapped around Dean’s thumb he’s heart melted.

The both of you’s agreeing on a name.

Posting on social media a pic of you, the bub and Dean. “Sometimes the littlest things take up the most room in our hearts…Welcome to the world b/n Good.”

Dean would be hesitant to give the baby to the nurse.

Dean being worried that they let you and the baby out too early.

Though the nurses reassured him that you and the baby were fine to go home. Not that Dean agreed.

Dean grumbling about how the nurses are incompetent on the way back home.

When you’s get back home, Dean would start worrying about the bub and you.

“Where are you going? You can’t leave me alone with b/n. what if {s} he wakes up, I don’t know what to do, what if I do something wrong y/n.” Dean rambled, as he gripped your arm tight, preventing you from leaving the room.

“Relax, Dean I’m just going to take a nap.” You sighed, pressing a kiss against his cheek.

“But y/n.” Dean whined.

“Dean, stop worrying you’re not going to do anything wrong just don’t wake her/him up.” You spoke, cupping his cheeks and pressing your lips against his softly.

Dean being in awe of b/n.

Always scolding Dean when he tries to pick the baby up while {s} he’s sleeping.

“Dean {s} he’s sleeping, never wake a sleeping baby.” You warned.

“But {s} he’s so cute, I just want to hold her/him.” He whined, pouting at you.

“I love you so much.” Dean sighed, wrapping his arm around your waist and pressing his lips against the top of your head.

“I love you too.” You whispered, resting your head against his chest.

“{S} he’s pretty cute, ya know we make some pretty cute babies, maybe we should make another one.” Dean spoke.

Dean would be so overprotective of his little bub.

“We should make an Instagram account for b/n.” you spoke, as you ran your fingers through his hair.

“Why, so weirdos can perv on my little {girl/boy}, no way.” Dean grumbled, turning his attention back to b/n, as the baby looked at you and Dean in awe.

“Please, b/n is just too cute not have her/his own instagram and if we get some weirdos in the comments I can always turn off the comments or make her/his account private” you begged.

“Why can’t you just post b/n on your Instagram account?” Dean asked.

“Fine.” You grumbled.

Dean occasionally changing the baby’s nappy.

Mostly every time he does he makes gagging noises, while screwing his face up, which makes the baby cry.

Whenever you breastfeed Dean would pout

“Lucky baby.” Dean grumbled, making you smile.

Dean feeding the baby, but also eating the food. The two of them would end up in a mess.

“This is actually pretty good” Dean moaned, b/n mouth still opened as {s} he waited for her/his dad to put the food in her/his mouth.

“You know that’s for the baby right?” you asked.

“So.” Dean grumbled, still continuing to eat the baby’s food.

Which then you started taking over the feeding duty.

Dean would absolutely love his little girl/boy with all his heart. He’d do anything for b/n.

Since his childhood was horrible he doesn’t want b/n to go through the same thing.

Being goofy with b/n {s} he is always laughing at the faces he makes.

Whenever b/n smiles it makes Dean’s day.

Dean being worried about the baby whenever he goes to sleep, so he moved the coat to yours and his bedroom.

Dean loves bonding with the baby.

Dean playing peekaboo with the baby.

Dean would play with the baby’s toys, entraining b/n in the process.

He would also read to the baby too.

Dean would take pictures of his little bub but most of them come up blurry, he prefers it when you take photos.

Dean calling the baby munchkin, buttercup, poppet or bub.

Dean would go to the baby’s appointments with you especially when the baby is a bit old enough to get {s} he’s vaccinations.

Dean would help you with bath time.

But the two of you end up getting wet as well.

Dean loves cuddle time and nap time.

When its nap time you find dean sleeping on the couch or bed, with b/n resting against his chest.

Of course, when Dean has to go back to work, he starts to miss you two and he get worried again.

Dean would call you after his matches to see how b/n was.

Sometimes you would put the on speaker so b/n could hear, which Dean would then talk to b/n.

Dean being so excited when you and the little one come to RAW.

“You’s came” Dean beamed, as he grabbed b/n, pressing a kiss against her cheek. Making b/n let out a giggle.

“Had to watch daddy kick some butt.” You teased, winking at him.

“Language y/n.” Dean warned.

“I didn’t even swear.” You muttered, as Dean pressed his lips against your cheek.

When Dean found out b/n was sick he wanted to come back home, but you calmed him down. Though he still wanted to come back home.

Celebrating Christmas early.

B/n first-word being dad, which makes Dean proud.

When father’s day comes around Dean gets emotional, since it’s his first father’s day.

Dean would watch sporting events on the TV, with b/n sitting on his lap.

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borngeek-blog1 · 6 years

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LA has never been my favorite city. Maybe it’s because I grew up in NYC and there’s some east coast vs west coast rivalry ingrained in me. Maybe it’s because it’s a driving city instead of a walking city. Or maybe it’s that ridiculous pollution that meant I always got sick on every visit I made there. I’d been to LA numerous times for work, and while I had found parts that I liked about it, it simply wasn’t my favorite place.

But the hubster’s best friend is from Iceland (the same one who went with us to Knysna), and he gave us a list of cities where we could rendezvous, and LA was the one we could drive to that seems intriguing. So we agreed to a week in LA to hang out, catch up, and maybe take in some of the sights. Of course our almost 3-year-old was along for the ride. I searched every guide I could find on the internet, claiming to have the best places in LA for a toddler. We went to most of them. So now, here’s MY guide on the best things to do for a week in LA with a toddler.

Visit Griffith Park, Observatory and Planetarium

This was, by far, my favorite tourist attraction we went to on our trip. Griffith Park is way up in the hills and offers some of the best views of the Hollywood sign. We parked slightly down the hill, but definitely not at the bottom. It was metered parking at $6 per hour, but totally worth it. It was a relatively short walk up the hill, and I made use of our awesome baby carrier for Harley… until she decided that running around was a way better idea.

When we arrived, the Planetarium wasn’t quite open yet. But it was fine because we walked around the grounds a bit. They have a scale model of the Solar System built into the front garden, and it’s such a great way to understand the true distance between the various orbits of the different planets. Harley could easily walk from the Sun to Mercury, Venus, Earth, and Mars, but even just reaching Saturn was a much longer walk than anticipated.

Once inside, the Planetarium has TONS of free exhibits to look at. I really liked the ones that showed how the moon moves and why it goes through phases. But there were also cool ones about the different planets that included buttons to push – always a key part of an attraction for a kid.

We ended up going to the first show of the day, the only one that Harley was allowed in. So if you’re going with a kid under 5, make sure you’re there for the 12:45 show. It was all about water in the solar system, and potential for life on other planets. It was fairly interesting. Not mind-blowing, but intriguing. Harley was… mixed with it. A lot of the kids started crying with the fake rain, and when it got REALLY dark in the theater. It was still cool to an extent for her but will depend on your kid how much they like it.

But Maybe Not the Tar Pits

Harley, like most toddlers/kids, has developed quite a fascination with dinosaurs. She really thinks they’re so cool and loves to play games with them or read books or do anything dino-related. So we thought the La Brea Tar Pits would be a fun excursion. And it was in many ways. There are numerous active tar pits in the area, and plenty of grassy areas for picnics, etc. We didn’t know that before we went, though, so we ended up basically walking around and then going into the museum itself. It’s not a bad museum, as there are some cool animatronic displays and cool fossils to look at – there’s even an interactive exhibit where you can pull rods out of tar and imagine if you could get yourself out of the tar pit. You can even watch the scientists working on stuff they’ve unearthed from the tar pits.

But there aren’t dinosaurs. It’s all ice age animals. Yes, like the movie. It was still fun to see the fossils, to touch the exhibits you’re allowed to touch, and generally wander around for about an hour. Only, if your kid is really into dinosaurs, they might be disappointed. And for the price of admission, I’m not totally convinced it was worthwhile.

We went to the Grove shopping center after the Tar Pits, so at least we extended our wander around in the area. There are some cool water features and fountains, as well as a giant Barnes and Noble bookstore, an American Girl Doll shop, and all kinds of high-end shopping. Doing LA with a toddler meant we couldn’t browse the finer things in life in those stores, though. There’s also a “farmer’s market” that’s really just a giant food court, so I’d suggest grabbing lunch there.

Have fun at Huntington Beach

One of my favorite excursions was the one hour drive to Huntington Beach. It’s not far from LA, but feels like a world away. The beach is GORGEOUS, and there are all kinds of great stores and restaurants. We found a fun Irish pub and pretty much passed the day there. The beer was way cheaper than in LA, and they had some decent food. I actually ended up venturing out for fish tacos that were excellent, and there are plenty of places to find them there.

In fact, we liked Huntington Beach so much that I think Dean and I are planning that our next California vacation will be just that. You know, just a week of lounging by the beach, letting Harley play in the sand, and enjoying all the cheaper food and drink. Maybe I’ll even take surf lessons – it is the surf capital of the States, and every other store you pass offers clothing, wetsuits, surf lessons, and boards so that you can be a part of the local culture.

And be aware at Venice Beach

I really liked Venice Beach and Santa Monica when I’d been to LA before. That’s why I decided we’d stay in Venice Beach for our trip. It was a really nice location, with plenty of excellent restaurants in the area. I liked the beachfront itself, and I ate the most amazing crab cake sandwich at the Venice Beach Ale House. Oh, and bottomless mimosas at The Venice Beach Bar.

But there is a huge homeless population in the area. Walking along the beach, there were tons of tents and clearly homeless people wandering around. Walking from the beach back home, we passed a tent city. In fact, just going to the local grocery store to buy some more diapers/nappies and some drinks to enjoy in our holiday home meant parking next to a huge number of homeless people. I know that they need to be somewhere, but it can really be a bit daunting, and led to some difficult questions from the kid, too.

We did walk the Venice Canals, though, which was really picturesque. In fact, there was a small kid’s park tucked away in there that a local had told us about. It had DUCKS! So there’s the normal kid’s play area, and then a cordoned off spot with ducks. Harley was rather intrigued. At least for a little while. But again, the walk in and out of the area with canals isn’t exactly free from homeless people, so you’ll just want to be aware.

My favorite part of Venice Beach, other than the beach itself, was this incredible French restaurant and market. I found it for our breakfast on the first day there, and it ended up being where we went almost every day. Fresh croissants, perfect crepes, bagels with cream cheese and smoked salmon and capers. Plus, there was a nice outdoor seating area and they were incredibly nice to Harley. Before we came home, I bought their phenomenal vinaigrette, as well as some imported sweets and other deliciousness.

Drive to take pictures at The Last Bookstore

Every single guide post that I found for LA included recommendations to visit The Last Bookstore. You all know that I love books, and I’ve instilled that same love in Harley. So of course, we went there. It was… fine?

I mean, parking in downtown LA isn’t fun, but we found a decent spot that was fairly close. There are some incredible displays that worked for some fabulous pictures of Harley in the bookstore. Pretty much, the whole place is just an ideal Instagram photoshoot location. There are also artists studios and some cool, unique items available.

But, when you get down to it, it’s a used bookstore. It made me happy to see a kid’s section with certain books I grew up with, but I’m not always a fan of the messaging in classic kid’s books. Even finding rare books isn’t as much of a mission as it used to be before the days of Amazon, so I’m not quite sure I see the value as far as bookstores go.

As a result, I think it’s a great place to go and take pictures, but not a MUST SEE place in LA. Also, there aren’t any public bathrooms in the store, so make sure that you’ve got another plan in place for any potty breaks with the little one.

And eat all the dumplings in Korea Town

One of my absolute highlights of the trip was our journey to Korea Town to Myung In Dumplings. This is the place where Anthony Bourdain (RIP) ate dumplings in LA, and it is phenomenal. It’s basically tucked away in a strip mall in the middle of a busy part of Korea Town, so make sure you get the turn in traffic correct.

The woman in charge welcomed us and had us sit wherever we wanted, and then brought over cold water, kimchi and a variety of other Korean salads/condiments. Then I ordered dumplings. So many dumplings. I was prepared to become a dumpling.

I love them. Like, LOVE them. And Harley is also a big fan of dumplings. Dean enjoys them to an extent, but it was clear that I would be doing most of the heavy lifting when it came to eating the dumplings. And I did. They were phenomenal. So fresh, so delicious. And so MANY! I had never been outdone by dumplings before, so this was a first for me. We ended up getting a box to take them home, where I was able to enjoy them again another day. Go there. Eat dumplings. Find happiness.

I also saw recommendations for the Natural History Museum, but we didn’t get there on this trip. Older kids might enjoy a visit to Universal Studios, but it seemed like a waste with a toddler – maybe we’ll go back when Harley is a bit older. Do you think we missed any essential LA spots that you love going with a kid?

Develop a kid’s inner scientist – A week in LA with a toddler LA has never been my favorite city. Maybe it's because I grew up in NYC and there's some east coast vs west coast rivalry ingrained in me.

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