#drunk!jaskier

[patroclusdefencesquad]

why does she put up with them

#because she Loves them #i want to see them get drunk together #also alternatively they could swap lines #the witcher #incorrect witcher quotes #geralt of rivia #yennefer of vengerberg #geraskier #geraskefer #jaskier

[bluedillylee]

just part of the everyday hazards when Jaskier likes you

#The witcher #witcher netflix #yennefer of vengerberg #jaskier #yennskier #Hes not even drunk this is his natural state

[mentallyinvernation]

S4 but the plot is that Jaskier gets drunk, fucks about with something magical, and wakes up in a different universe where everything is exactly the same except Geralt is a Hemsworth. 

#cause the funniest thing Netflix could do is turn our own logic against us in the 'Jaskier gets drunk/fucks around' explanation to everythin #the witcher #geralt of rivia #Jaskier #geraskier #netflix recast #the witcher netflix #henry cavill #chris hemsworth

[gothiethefairy]

a geraskier concept i think should be explored more is geralt realizing some people (usually rich nobles) don't really respect jaskier or his art and just want him around to be a spectacle. a personal toy for them to play with. even believing the rumors about how some bards are just glorified whores, so some of them even fetishize jaskier.

and it pisses geralt off so much because he knows about all that way too well. and jaskier is also aware of this too but he knows that sometimes, there's nothing more he can do.

i like the idea of geralt and jaskier bonding over this.

#the witcher #geraskier #gothie's headcanons #like geralt gets sucked into going to some noble person's ball or whatever #and overhears some of the drunk nobles talking about jaskier like he's a slab of meat #and geralt is trying very hard not to break the glass of wine in his hand #bc how dare they speak so ill of his friend

[fandom-junk-drawer]

Jaskier *drunk texting Geralt*: Geralt, did you know that nipples are technically straws?

Geralt: Jaskier it's 3am...

#the witcher #the witcher netflix #twn #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #geralt #geralt of rivia #geraskier #the witcher memes #drunk texts

[jaskierx]

jaskier tells geralt he loves him all the time. off to fight a monster for a contract? ‘I love you’. parting for winter? ‘I love you’. going to sleep? ‘I love you’.

geralt never responds. he assumes it’s flippant, superficial, the same way jaskier claims to love his fans, or wine, or roach.

so he isn’t moved at all on the mountain, when jaskier’s face drops, and he stammers ‘but I love you’. he carries on alone anyway.

until they reunite when jaskier is in prison.

then it’s geralt’s turn to say ‘i missed you too. I love you.’

#the witcher #jaskier #geralt #geraskier #lyse.jpg #forgive me father for I have been to bottomless brunch and I’m drunk

[blorbotime]

Hard to be the bard is such a Valdo Marx coded song. I need to see Something Rotten so I can write a Witcher AU about it.

#valdo marx #jaskier #the witcher season 3 #the songs slap but I've never seen it #i saw a fic that had a drunk jaskier singing God I hate Valdo once #I desperately need a whole au

[dapandapod]

"Alright, but if just one smooch?" Jaskier begs. He is not intoxicated, my good sir, he is drunk. There is a difference.

Geralt looks at him skeptically, equally not-intoxicated-but-drunk. They are swaying just a little bit, waiting for the taxi to arrive outside of Yennefer's building. Music is still booming from somewhere above them, and people are laughing and whooping. Yennefer always throws the best parties.

"Just one?" Jaskier pleads, swaying so badly he has to catch himself with a step forward, with the pleasant surprise of getting closer to Geralt. "Just one smooch. Smoooooch. Smoooo-"

Geralt leans across the small distance and kisses Jaskier straight on the mouth. Just a peck, stealing the word right form his lips. He blinks, then grins widely.

"IT WORKED! Wait, no, I wasn't ready!" Jaskier whines. "Again. Please?"

Geralt sighs, rolling his eyes, but he is smiling.

Jaskier puts a hand on Geralt's chest and then Geralt is leaning in again, closing the distance and capturing Jaskier's lips with his own.

It sends fireworks through his entire body, though that could also be the redbull vodka, but Geralt is kissing him so sweetly, holding on to his waist, and Jaskier can't just not reach up and touch that beautiful white hair of his.

Sighing contently, Jaskier presses closer, enjoying how Geralt's arms engulf him as he steps into them proper. 

Time is fake. It must be, because next he knows, the taxi has arrived and the driver is glaring daggers at them for letting him wait.

It's all fine. Maybe he can make Geralt kiss him when they get home too. Just one smooch.

#smooch #geraskier #geralt x jaskier #kisses #drunk kisses #idk i just want them to kiss #the witcher #dapanda writes #i have a mighty geraksier kissing need #and im sharing it with y'all #getting together #friends to lovers #fluff #i love them

[patroclusdefencesquad]

vibrating out of my skin thinking about jaskier and yennefer at some kind of village celebration like a spring fayre or something and they're drunk and dancing and have flowers in their hair and jaskier spins her round and round and she's giggling and then he dips her and they both nearly fall over from laughing and she smacks a big kiss on his cheek and they walk off with their arms round each other

#drunk jaskier keeps trying to take his shirt off #drunk yennefer keeps trying to stop him but she's giggling too much and keeps accidently undoing it further #geralt actually does stop him from taking it off. he's unfortunately sober #the witcher #yennefer of vengerberg #jaskier #yennskier

[buskerjaskier]

I have updated my fic “awake, awake (you children bold)”, and yes, I can confirm there’s a Shrek reference snuck in there as a treat.

#what can I say I love shrek man #peak cinema #in fact #I have a ‘shrek is life’ tattoo on my foot #because I’m dumb as shit #don’t get tattooed drunk kids #Ciri #jaskier #geraskier #geralt #yennefer #the witcher netflix #the witcher #my writing

[rodeoclownery]

The main problem with The Witcher show on Netflix is that it is afraid to get silly. I can overlook plot divergences to the book and the omission of certain characters and even the addition of new characters! The best thing about the books is that they are so unexpectedly funny despite the dark tone and there is a disturbing lack of silliness in the show that I cannot forgive.

#the witcher #netflix #I haven’t finished season three yet maybe it gets better idk #i refuse to believe that Geralt of Rivia knows how to dance #this is the book series with a vampire doctor whose only crime was flying as a bat while drunk WHERE is the humor in this show #and WHERE is Jaskier’s silly little song #yes you are kenough but like can you sing something catchy please

[kell-be-belle]

Why do I feel like this would happen to Jaskier

#And Geralt would be losing his fucking mind #Fully prepared to enact a rescue mission as soon as he finds out where Jaskier is #But then just finds him drunk and half passed out in an alley somewhere #the witcher #jaskier

[fandom-junk-drawer]

Jaskier drunk texting Geralt at 3am:

Jaskier: I know you're trying to sleep but I really need to talk to you

Geralt: can it wait?

Jaskier: No!

Jaskier: Did you know that bananas are no longer the food that most closely resembles the telephone?

Geralt: ...

Geralt's brain: oH f**k hE's RiGhT!

#the witcher #the witcher netflix #twn #geralt #geralt of rivia #julian alfred pankratz #jaskier #geraskier #the witcher drunk texts

[mothpiercings]

jaskier: you call it "really bad at darts," i call it freestyle acupuncture.

bartender: sir, i’m going to have to ask you to leave the bar.

#geraskier #the witcher #the witcher fanfiction #geralt of rivia #jaskier #this is actually cannon #but jaskier only does it when people in the bar are being mean to geralt #and sometimes if he gets too drunk #incorrect witcher #incorrect witcher quotes #incorrect quotes

[fangirleaconmigo]

Somebody should have told Duchess Anna Henrietta about the ancient American proverb

“you can’t make a ho a housewife”

It would have saved her a lot of time and taxpayer expense on Dandelion.

#the witcher #jaskier #dandelion #the witcher books #thinking about the witcher books yet again #to be clear Dandelion is the ho in this scenario #I’m just saying #paying civil servants #to draft up charges #and drag him to the gallows #then back home #every time he got his wayward dick out #was not free #and much like #trying to solve a problem like maria #or keeping waves upon the sand #it was futile #i swear I’m not drunk right now #just extremely sleep deprived #thinking about dandelion yet again

[pop-punk-jaskier]

Boys Like Girls // Love Drunk

#boys like girls #love drunk #jaskier #pop-punk jaskier #pop punk #pop punk lyrics