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dailyaudiobiblechronological · 6 months

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10/28/2023 DAB Chronological Transcription

Luke 16-17:10

Welcome to Daily Audio Bible Chronological I'm Jill. Today is the 28th day of October. We are winding this month down and it's hard to believe. Maybe it's just me. I feel like we barely got out of September and here we are it's the end of October. It'll be Christmas before we know it. It'll be a brand new year before we know it. This is the time of year that it all just- the days get shorter with the daylight. But yeah, the days fly by. It's a juxtaposition of elongating and shortening at the same time, which is really bizarre. Nevertheless, we are here and present in this moment and this is what we have. So well done to you for being here and centering yourselves, taking that time, that deep breath, that long exhale and to just allow God to speak to you, wash over you in His word through his word. We can renew our minds through His word and can just take a pause in our day or pause before we begin our day. Pause at the end of our day and spend time. And so we're going to do that very thing right now. Today we're reading Luke, Chapter 16, reading through chapter 17, verse 10. This week we've been reading the New Living translation. So let's jump in, Luke chapter 16.

Commentary:

We keep learning from this teacher, this Rabbi, this man named Jesus, who is both fully man and fully God. And I I loved this today about faith. I think sometimes we can just be like the disciples asking show us how to increase our faith. We try to find the formulas of increasing our faith. We umm we have even have been conditioned from early on that we need to do more to believe more. We need to do more to be more. If we sing just a little bit louder, if we serve just a little bit more, if we pray a certain way, if we remove the , if we condition our behavior a certain way. And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with any of those things. If that's what you do, and that's your expression of worship and your expressions of faith. I think where we can go wrong is that we need faith the size of a mountain to move a mountain when Jesus made it so clear to the disciples if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to the Mulberry tree, may you be uprooted and be planted in the sea, and it would obey you. Several years ago I developed a women's conference and the last day, the last session was all about dreaming with God and I have just been such a dreamer my entire life and I meet so many women that have never dared to even dream with God. They feel unworthy to even ask him for a dream. And I believe that when I started it out, I too thought that you needed crazy amounts of faith to one, ask God, and two, to believe that he would give you what you asked. I think faith of any kind can be crazy. I think believing in what you cannot see, what you cannot feel, what you cannot touch, which you cannot hold onto, is a little bit crazy. But it is just that. It is faith to believe in what you can't see, what you cannot prove, what you cannot hold to just believe, yes, everything in me believes that this is true and I will live my life as it is. I don't know if you've ever seen how small a mustard seed is. It's a tiny little ball on the end of your finger that just sits there. And I don't think we can measure faith in an increment, but I think the point Jesus was making is even if you have a little, you have faith. And I don't care who you are. I don't care what you believe. And there will always be doubts. We will always question what we can't see. That doesn't make you a bad Christian. That doesn't make you wrong. That makes you human. And let's be honest, no one doubted Jesus more than the 12 that he chose to follow him, that stayed with him, that dined with him, that slept with him, that watched him perform miracle after miracle. And what I know is that when other people will not be willing to handle the doubts that come with faith, the fear that comes with faith, because fear and faith, they can both coincide right next to each other. Jesus can handle. Jesus can handle questions, your doubts. He handled them with the disciples. He maybe got put out with them a time or two. But their safety and the presence of Jesus with our questions, with our insecurities, with our doubts, with our questions, even with the struggle of belief, there's a story of a man that encounters Jesus and said, Lord, I believe, help my unbelief. If that's not a human's admission then I don't, I don't know what is. So I hope that there's encouragement for you today. If you just feel like your faith is anemic, your faith is weak- I don't have that kind of faith. Be encouraged today because Jesus said all you need is faith the size of a mustard seed to uproot a tree that's planted in the sea.

Prayer:

Father, we thank you for your word. Once again, we thank you for how this speaks to us. It eases our questions. It eases our insecurities. It comforts us to know that we're going to get it wrong, but we can get it wrong in your presence. You are safe with our questions, with our admissions, there's there's no way for us to be honest unless we can honestly expose what we're thinking, what we're feeling and you are the best person to do that with. You have experienced every human emotion possible, and we so often forget that. So thank you for this reminder today. And I pray for every person that is struggling just in a safe place, with doubt, with questions, with their insecurities. I pray that we can be people that will stop the shame, stop shaming the questions, that we would listen to one another and be willing to sit with each other in the questions, in the doubts, in the struggle of faith and hold on to one another through when they're struggling and not shame them, but pray them through that you'll carry it for them until they can find their way through it. We thank you God that you are so loving, so kind, so gracious, so safe for us. And I pray that we in return can be that to somebody in need. We pray this now in the name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Amen.

Announcements:

Daily Audio Bible. That's home base. Check it out. Take a look around, if you have not. Download the app, check out the store. The resources of plenty of things for you to do. Reach out on the prayer wall just if you need prayer any time of day in any situation. And there are people there willing and available to pray for you. And if you just need some connection and you need it fast, that is a great tool available to you there. If you would like to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, if you're giving by mail, DAB PO Box 1996, Spring Hill TN 37174 or hit the give icon up at the top right hand corner of your mobile device if you're using that. Or look for the Give icon on the website and we thank you immensely for your partnership, we truly couldn't do it without you, and I am so thankful that we do not have to. If you need prayer, if you would like to pray for someone that's previously called in several different ways for you to do so, 800-583-2164 or hit the red circle button up at the top right hand corner of your mobile device. You have two minutes on the prayer line. Hit submit. Turn the wheel over to Chronological and it will get to the right place. That's going to do it for me today. We wind our week down together tomorrow, but before that we will turn the page together tomorrow and meet here again as we allow God's Word to speak to us, to wash through us and to change us from the inside out. I'm Jill. Until tomorrow, love one another.

Community Prayer Line:

Hey, my dynamic DABC fam, this is Kingdom Seeker Daniel. Family, I want to pray and ask for prayer. So let's pray. Father, we lift up our beloved sister. Your daughter. Hey y'all, Simone from Texas. Oh God. Oh Jesus. You see. You see the burden. You see the weight. You see the pressure. You see the frustration. You see the heartache and the agony that our sister has undergone for some time, wanting to be out of this particular job and into a calling that she feels heavy about specifically with the podcasting Lord. We don't know exactly what your plan is, but will you perform your will for our dear sister Simone? And in the meantime, would you strengthen her from the inside out? Will you rebuild her faith and her trust, Her hope to know that you've done it for her in the past, you can do it again in the present. So until then, God keep her, guard and hold her close to your bosom. In Jesus name. Amen. Keep looking up sis we got you. Hey family. Real quick. So the Fresno Angel reached out to me several weeks back and informed me that she followed a gut feeling from the Lord and checked into the Fresno Count Jail and learned that D2 is back behind bars. Long story short, I'm scheduled to go out, fly out there on December 1st to be there for his next court date, and then to be with him in visiting hours the following day. Will you simply pray that God's hand will be in this visit? And that all will go according to his plan in Jesus name lovely family?

Hi DABC Family. This is Pamela resting in the Lord in Pennsylvania. Today is October 20th and over on the DAB. I am a triple DABer now so I am all over the place being blessed by Brian, Jill, China, Ezekiel and all that they have to offer. Um, Brian read, First Timothy 5. No, first Timothy. Yeah, 5, Chapter 5 about some instructions and encouragements for pastors and asked us to pray for spiritual leaders and pastors. So I'm coming over here on the DABC and praying for Brian and for our spiritual leaders, if you would join me in prayer. Brian asked us to pray and pray and pray and pray if you have time, please. Go over to the DAB and listen to October 20th reading and commentary. It explains all that a pastor does to lay down their lives for us and how hard that is.100 times harder than for us to just survive our daily lives. They have their daily life and then everything else on top of it to care for us. So join me in prayer. Lord DABC Family, Heavenly Father I lift up Brian to you as the head of our DAB and DABC and DAB Kids and all the other channels. This whole thing called the Daily Audio Bible. I ask that you watch over him, protect him, bless him, give him peace, give him anointment through the Holy Spirit. Give him encouragement and everything he needs. In Jesus name. Amen.

Good morning. It's Tonya calling from Suffolk. Thank you so much, Daughter of the silversmith. When I heard you call up my name and pray for me, I just want to tell you I got such chills because often I always call in. I'm praying for others and I never asked for prayer for myself. So thank you so much because trust me, I do have a lot of things that's going on behind the scenes. But I'm too busy praying and just making sure God look out for others because I know he's going to look out for me as well. But once again, I really, really, really appreciate you.Taking the time to pray for me, that meant a lot. And I pray that God continue to bless you as well and all the things that you would encounter. Thank you again, love you all as always, continue to be encouraged and have a wonderful day.

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bby-ahgastay · 4 years

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Smoking Buddies (pt.2/?) - H.J.S.

a/n: this is pretty long ig huh. sorry it took so long, i had like three different versions for a second and it took a while to actually end up with this. anyways, can y'all tell i've been in a very soft mood lately? this might be fluffier than you guys (or i) expected but i miss my crush and i just want to hug him again, so i showed it through this i guess :(. hope you enjoy it thank you for reading!

member: han jisung (stray kids)

summary: after a heated make out session right behind chan and changbin you and jisung go back to his apartment for soft and sorta sleepy sex.

word count: 3.5k

(1) / (2) / (3)

warnings: mentions of smoking weed, oral (female receiving), soft cuddly sex.

when jisung and you arrive at his place he doesn't hesitate to push you against the door as soon as it closes. he still manages to be so gentle with you, staring lovingly into your eyes. the two of you have come down from your highs considerably by now, a sleepy feeling beginning to come over you both.

"god, i'm so happy this is actually happening... i can't wait to get to know every part of you," the words are mumbled and make your face heat up. he moves down to kiss you, slow and passionate. his lips move over yours tenderly, everything slowing down around you as you fall further and further into just him.

as you lose yourself in his touch it's hard for you to remember the point in time you would go back your dorm and see your roommate still up, waiting up for you to get home from hanging out with changbin, han, and chan. this was when you had started getting more comfortable around the boys and were just starting to spend more and more time with them.

ryujin always knew when you'd be coming home late and had no doubt that you would be ready to go on about jisung. so she waited up to let you talk to her about him, knowing you needed someone for that. and one time she told you that, too.

"start coming home earlier, y/n-yah! i miss that extra two hours of sleep!"

"hey, no one said you have to wait for me! i have a key, too, you know," you pouted back her. she had given you a dramatic eye roll and sigh in return, deadpanning back to you afterwards.

"you know it's only because i know you're getting a crush on that jinyoung kid, right?"

"jisung, he’s older than us and therefore not a kid, and no i'm not!"

"yes you are, like i'm so sure you are. and i know how much i usually want to talk about my crushes too. so i'm just helping you out, love."

after that night you had stopped talking about him so much. you still thought of him plenty, but no one had to know that. ryujin is still your roommate, and your best friend. you can’t help wondering what she’ll say when you tell her about all this. she's older than you but not even by much, you two were still born in the same year. but something about how she carries herself made her seem so wise and made you feel like her opinion matters a lot for some reason. maybe you could say you'd admired her a little.

when she told you this though, you were definitely a little embarrassed. all three of them flirted with you by then so you had figured that it all meant nothing. and with that decided, you thought han would never like you.

but now his tongue runs over your bottom lip, taking it in his teeth playfully. you look up at him smiling when he pulls away. "i feel so lucky that you’re kissing me right now, sungie... it’s like a dream come true," you giggle, one hand on his bicep and the other combing through the front of his hair tenderly.

his heart flutters at your words for sure, especially with your eyes sparkling up at him like that. he's wanted this for a long time, too. as long as he's known you. he never would have thought that he could actually have you alone and in his arms, letting him kiss and touch you.

there were many nights he would go bother either of his hyungs to talk about you, laying his head in chan's lap or laying on top of changbin’s back. he’d sigh wistfully as he spoke about how you found stupid things funny, and how you seem like a good dresser, and how he thinks you do your makeup nice, and just about anything else he could think of. at first they just thought their hannie was excited to have a new friend, but when they saw it wasn't just that they immediately turned it into a joke.

"you like her! you like our little baby y/n?!" they exclaimed on the day they had cornered him. the two elders were discussing not only how jisung talking about you had started to seem almost constant, but also how he was sounding a bit smitten too.

his denial was what had caused them to start flirting with you in the first place. "if he won't admit it, we'll break him into admitting it," chan and changbin had shared many giggles and many blunts while going over the matter together. after so long they both began to wonder if it was almost a little evil, forcing their younger friend to watch them flirt with the girl they knew he had liked. but hey, it worked right?

jisung knows that he's the lucky one here, he has no doubt about it at all, and hearing you say that you really think otherwise could probably break his heart. but no way would he let you know that you're affecting him like that. not right now.

so to recover from the moment he just shakes his head and kisses you again. he doesn't even have to say anything, his lips on yours speak a thousand words and it's enough for you. then you're both just focused on each other again. his lips are back on your neck in no time, only adding to the seemingly endless collection of hickeys you've gathered from him today.

"fuck, i just remembered how bad i wanted to taste you earlier... come on, baby, let's go to my room," he whispers in your ear, and you feel as if you were in a trance. when you look at him, you see a harsh and demanding demeanor barely hidden behind the sweet facade his eyes hold. just the look he gives you is enough to get you to nod and follow him eagerly to his bedroom.

not that you’d even need any guidance to the room. you’re as familiar with this apartment as you are your own childhood home. and there were definitely many nights you would have to text ryujin that the boys had once again convinced you to stay the night. sometimes the four of you would set up a huge bed of blankets on the floor in the living room, watching movies and smoking and talking until you knew you had to go to sleep. but other times, if maybe one of the boys had something to take care of early or if you had a morning class, you would all agree not to go all out.

so instead you would always end up staying in jisung's room, him just usually the first to offer. the first few times you slept in there he insisted on sleeping on the floor, a fight you were never able to win. then there was eventually a night where he gave up easily, a bad day leaving a strong craving for his bed that night, and being close to you sounded like a huge bonus.

you had let him fall into your arms, soothingly running a hand through his hair as the other rubbed his back. he still thinks about how you sat and listened to him, making soft sounds every once in a while to show you were paying attention. he’s pretty sure that’s the night he realized he loves you. and after that it was no longer weird for you to cuddle and share a bed, something that he was proud of even though it was purely innocent in his mind.

once the door is closed behind you guys, jisung stands in front of you to look down at you with fond eyes. you're both in a daze, the drowsy feeling from coming down mixed with just touching each other leaves your eyelids hooded and chests heaving. one of his thumbs brushed across your bottom lip, his other hand rubbing your hip underneath the baggy sweatshirt.

you can't look anywhere but at him, everything else dulling in comparison to the way his eyes are sparkling even with how the fatigue is beginning to darken the area around them. his hands run across your body on top of the fabric as he moves up to unzip your sweater, pushing it off of you completely and sliding his hands over the skin on your sides. stepping away for a seconds he slides his hands under your tank top to move it up, watching the way your boobs bounce slightly when they’re freed from the thin material.

his hands don't stop wandering your body; groping your ass over your sweatpants, digging his fingers into your hips to drag you against his clothed bulge every once in a while, running up and down your back, brushing against your boobs attentively. the way his touch makes you light up gives you the urge to touch him as well, wanting to feel all of him you can.

your hands go under his shirt and he's nearly amused by the cute little pout you get as you push the material up, your eyes asking him to take it off. thinking about you in the way he's gotten to know you so well, it's really quite funny to think about how needy you're getting for him right now. the only thing that keeps him from laughing is just looking at you. it kills him how you still manage to look so innocent, your small figure staring up at him with your bottom lip out and your eyes wide.

you're glad when he pulls his shirt off, but he doesn't give you much time to enjoy it as he begins pushing your sweatpants down. your panties go down with them, jisung letting you hold his hand while you step out of your shoes and pants.

after you kick the pile aside on the floor his hands are on your hips, guiding you backward towards the edge of his bed. he lowers you onto the foot of the mattress and kneels on the floor in front of you. gazing down at him in excitement, you feel his lips on your thigh already start to make you feel so, so good.

he places his hands on your stomach and gently pushes you back to have you lay back as his kisses inch closer to your heat. you breathe heavier in anticipation, aching for him to touch you. his hands go to your thighs, pulling your legs over his shoulders so he can get closer to you.

jisung has a hard time taking his eyes off of you laid out for him like this. he's imagined this for a while now, and he couldn't be happier that he's finally going to be the one who gets to please you. he has take a second to appreciate it all, like how you're already breathing so heavily just thinking about him touching you. or how your hands are so naturally resting on your tits, not even realizing yourself gently kneading and pinching at them.

you look more beautiful than he could ever imagine, and having you laid out waiting for him to do something to you has his cock aching in his boxers.

when you first feel his tongue run over your folds a moan falls past your lips before you can even realize it. you blush a little and one hand goes to cover your mouth but jisung just smirks against you.

"no one is home yet, baby, don't worry... let me hear your pretty sounds, okay?" you look down at him, his lips glistening with your juices. you nod slowly as he licks his lips, head falling back when he returns to your core. the way his tongue works on your clit and moves to push inside you has sounds pouring from your mouth, only encouraging him further and further.

you slightly roll your hips up, wanting more. one of his arms falls across your hips to push you down and the other hand goes to push two fingers inside you. you gasp at the feeling, clenching around his digits.

it doesn't take too long, and maybe it is just a little too quick. but with the way it feels to have his long fingers inside of you and his mouth so deliciously attached to your clit, not to mention the drug still amplifying every sensation, you know you're already close. you don't usually cum so quick, but han jisung just knows how to make you feel amazing apparently. how did you not do this sooner?

"oh, fuck, y/n," his head comes up, hair in his eyes as he looks up at your whining figure. "you're gonna cum already, huh? i can fucking feel it with how much you’re clenching around my fingers, baby," he groans, watching his fingers moving in and out of you.

he speeds up and seems to hit that perfect spot every time his fingers are pounding back into you. all that's heard in the room is the sound of his fingers moving in you and his name leaving your mouth repeatedly as you're pushed closer to the edge.

once he ducks his head back down to suck at your bundle of nerves you know that's it, and you're letting out high pitched moans as you come around his fingers.

"you're so hot, i swear," he groans while watching you. his eyes linger a moment on how your walls are gripping around his fingers. you look up at him as he slows down for a moment, meeting his eyes and seeing the cocky glint in them. "and so tight, jesus... if you're this tight around my fingers, i don't even know if you can take my dick, jagiya," you can tell he's half kidding, but a smug expression is stuck on his face as he chuckles a little.

and the joking undertone reminds you for a moment that he's still the same jisung you've gotten to know. the one who has always been there to make you laugh and who you know you'll always be more comfortable around than anyone else in the world. the one who you think you may have come to be in love with.

your thoughts are mushy and way too sweet for the way he looks up at you so sure of himself, the wetness from your pussy still glistening on his lips and chin. he looks hotter than you could ever process, you almost feel flustered. but you don't want him to feel the satisfaction of that fact, so you roll your eyes and look down at him again. "i'm so sure," you tease him. his eyebrows go up a little, fake shock and hurt on his face.

"are you saying you think i'm small?" he gasps, standing up. you crawl further up the bed, sitting near the pillows and shrugging. your eyes don't leave him as he goes to his dresser, pulling open a drawer and taking out a condom. he tugs his pants off to roll it on. you watch and take in every detail you can, noticing one vein that’s especially prominent on the side. well, he's definitely not small.

and then in a second he's hovering over you, eyes still just as confident as he looks up and down your entire body. he's good at playing the whole smug guy character, but you can still see the sweet look behind it all. 'i guess you really are good at hiding it, han jisung,' you think adoringly to yourself, 'but i still know you're just a smushy little shy boy.' it will be a cold day in hell when you don't let him take control over you, though. and you already can tell there's going to be many levels to his dominance all to be explored eventually, an exciting thought for sure.

"well then i'm just gonna have to shut you up," he brings his hand up. you know exactly what to do for him, opening your mouth to take his fingers in and sucking them clean of your own juices. and then he's pushing into you without warning, your mouth falling open as he does. stopping for a moment, his fingers are pulled from your mouth as he looks down at you.

your jaw is taken in one hand to make you look at him, his touch ever so gentle. concern is written over his face, silently asking if you're good. you hum and nod, smiling from the satisfying feeling of him stretching you out. as he rocks into you slowly, sweet kisses are left all over your forehead and cheeks and nose and lips and anywhere else he can reach.

you look up at him as his member drags against your walls delightfully. he really does look sleepy and you're sure you do too, but his fluffy hair and swollen lips make him look so soft and cuddly in the most charming way. his hands pin your hips to the bed, one of yours going to run through his hair and the other going to his cheek.

while the pace is slow, it still feels better than any you've ever had. the fact that the first time you two are having sex is so mushy and loving like this definitely makes it better in your mind, you know it will always be a heartwarming memory no matter what happens between you two.

"sungie, oh my god... shit, you feel so good," you breathe out, head falling back into the pillows. he leaves a kiss on your neck before bringing one hand to lift your head back up, pressing his lips on yours as you clench around him.

he was right before, you really were so tight around his cock and it was driving him crazy. that and the sight of himself moving in and out of your wet pussy had him already close, but no way was he going to miss seeing you cum again.

"you feel good around me too, baby. i guess i did fit, but you are so fucking tight y/n. jesus," he gives an extra hard thrust, forcing a moan from you. you let out a low, pleased hum as he begins pounding into you harder and deeper, your eyes rolling back as he hits unimaginable spots. the smirk never leaves his face as the way you moan his name is almost unintelligible, your words slurred from pleasure and the sluggishness starting to take over. fortunately his dick is more than enough to keep you awake.

one hand goes down to rub circles into your clit, his hips speeding up slightly. him drilling into you just right has you pulling him closer to you to attach your lips again and moaning against him. his other hand is tangled in your long hair, elbow near your head to support himself. you know for a fact that you're still a little stoned, your body is tingling comfortingly and it makes you feel jisung's touches twenty times better. your body is on fire and there's no way to keep you from cumming anymore.

jisung has to pull away from the kiss as you release around him, the feeling triggering his own orgasm and pulling a few throaty moans from him. you both clutch each other tightly, your head buried into his neck as he continues to fuck you, sloppier now, just to work you both through your highs.

you whine a little when he pulls out of you, squirming under him a bit. leaving a kiss on your forehead he stands up to throw away the condom.

you catch your breath and watch him as he moves, getting comfortable by curling up under the blanket with your head peeking out on top of his pillows. just yesterday you'd think it would be impossible you would ever get to do that with jisung. but you're beyond happy you did and not a single fiber of you regrets it.

especially not while you watch how he hurries back over to the bed from the trash can near the door, lifting the covers up and diving in with you. he comes up behind you and hugs you close, nuzzling his head into your bare shoulder. a chuckle falls past your lips as you look back him, mumbling a small 'what.'

"i heard my hyungs in the kitchen, who knows how long they've been back," he cringes at you, his nose scrunching up adorably. your mouth falls open and you shift to face him.

"oh my god!"

"i know..."

"aw, no... do you think maybe they might have not heard anything?" you pout hopefully up at him.

he winces and shakes his head. "ahh, they sounded pretty settled in, like they've been here a while. i'm sure they did hear you moaning my name at some point," his tone is purely playful but you still whine, hitting his chest lightly.

"shut up."

"never."

and neither of you say anything else, his arms pulling you tighter against him. he leaves a small kiss on your nose, then he closes his eyes and settles in more. it's not long before you hear his soft snores. and you know it won't be too much longer before you're out too.

no other time you've been in his arms has been so blissful. any other time has always been borderline painful, your mind never letting you forget how he didn't feel the way you did. you're glad you were wrong. 'i definitely love him' you think to yourself.

you nearly feel overwhelmed with how your heart fills to the brim with love as you stare admiringly up at the peaceful looking boy. stopping yourself from reaching out to squish his cheeks isn't easy, but you manage. instead you bring a hand up to push aside some hair that was falling over his eyes, stroking his cheek lightly after.

being in his arms makes you feel just so completely and absolutely safe. it's so hard to remember that this is real. you stop looking at him and rest your head on his chest, closing your eyes and letting sleep take you.

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kuronanox · 4 years

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Insecure Love - Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez (AU-NSFW)

She was his prisoner and the toxicity surrounding their relationship put a strain on her mental health. No matter how much she wanted to leave him Grimmjow wouldn't allow it.

He got angry and would scream and break objects in the house scaring her to death and she knew he could have easily hurt her if he wanted to.

Sobbing as she hugged herself on her knees she threw her phone across the wall and screamed out of frustration. "I hate you!"

She knew she should have listen to her friends and family years ago when they told her Grimmjow was bad news, but her young and immature mind felt different.

It's been difficult as she had to pay off student loans and provide for the both of them and half the time she didn't know where he was anymore.

They both were intoxicated about each other no matter how bad things got in their relationship no one ever left, but they left scars towards each other.

Grimmjow happened to come home when he heard her yell in the bedroom, he wanted to fix their strained relationship by bringing good news to her for once. He was hired as a personal body guard to one of Japan most wealthiest celebrities.

"I hate him so much." She says picking up her phone and slamming the bathroom door to freshen up for the night.

He was conflicted if he was going to throw a tantrum and get angry or leave it be for the night, but he wanted to fix things so he chose to ignore her statement and pretend he didn't hear nothing.

(Your Name) was paying all the bills for the last few months after Grimmjow got fired from his last job for beating the shit out of someone, the dude had to be hospitalized.

"Hey." He says roughly as she opened the bathroom door surprised to see him home early.

"You're home early?"

"Tch. I live here too."

"Yeah well whose paying the bills right now? At least let me know where you go half the time." She bit back at him and plopped onto the bed leaning on her elbow.

"Don't start this shit right now." He says pulling his shirt off to get ready for a shower.

"Whatever."

That night after hearing the good news of Grimmjow getting a job again they didn't sleep much. There was a lot of cries and moans rather then words of encouragement.

(Your Name) wanted to be a normal couple for once but she was already broken she didn't know how to express her emotions anymore.

As he fell asleep she laid awake besides him under protection of his arms. The negative thoughts crept in her mind.

He was going to be a body guard to rich celebrities and it lower her self esteem.

It wouldn't surprise her if she found him in bed with one of them; after all she's caught him with other women a few times.

She scoffed why were they like this? They acted like children but they were already in their late 20s acting like high school kids in a relationship.

"Can't sleep?" He asks her with his eyes still closed.

"I'm okay."

"Stop I know something is wrong. You didn't even tell me congrats about my new job... you just kissed me and we had sex."

(Your Name) shivered at his touch because he was rubbing her arms lightly as if he was trying to comfort her discomfort. She was a little weird out by his actions the whole night. He was rarely ever gentle.

"I wanna talk about us." She tells him as he sighs and sits up from the bed and picks her up so she was sitting between his legs.

"Go on."

"Well I've been thinking. I'm almost 30 and we've been together since college isn't it childish to keep hurting each other like this?"

"Are you indicating we should break up?!" Grimmjow slightly raises his voice loosing his cool temper for a second.

"That's not what I'm saying... I just have a professional job at the hospital and well you have that job...it's just that what is our future together?"

Grimmjow doesn't say anything but stares at her, he hasn't thought much about the future but he knew she was going to be in his.

"Don't know." He answers bluntly as he could see in her eyes that she was a bit hurt by his answer. "You are my future."

She just shakes her head and moves away from him disappointed that was his answer to her after so many years together.

She was always called in random times at the hospital and Grimmjow was always traveling or not home because of work, but after the night she talked to him about their future together he reconsider everything he had done in the past.

He couldn't lose her as much as he already has. Grimmjow was slowly making things right for them. He started by coming home every night he didn't have to be away and letting her know where he was when he went out.

Grimmjow even made the effort to clean and cook the house when she came home late from the hospital.

"I just feel like the way he is acting now is temporary and we will go back to our old ways." (Your Name) tells Rangiku as they sat for afternoon brunch one day.

"Well, has he ever done any of these things before? Like cook and clean and even letting you know where he is?"

"No not really this is the first time."

Rangiku mixes her drink and takes a sip before speaking.

"Give it time, I think if he's willing to try new things to keep the relationship alive you should trust him a bit more."

"I guess so, it wouldn't be fair not to." (Your Name) agrees and sadly smile down to the table. "I guess I'm always the one doubting us."

"Good morning." Grimmjow says looking down at (Your Name) with a lopsided smile.

"Oh god he's morning voice is so hot."

(Your Name) sits up from bed and rubs her eyes, they were both naked in the covers. She didn't want to leave the warmth that they both radiantly pulled off so she fell back onto him and cuddled some more.

If she remember clearly Grimmjow took her out on a date as they went clubbing to dance for a bit and she got a little bit to lit. Which ended them both in bed for a good time.

"Did you have fun last night?" He asks her as she nodded slowly only remembering a few clips in the back of her head.

She remembered how Grimmjow unforgivingly pounded into her as his thrust were fast and steady. The way his rough hands held her down and explored every part of her body.

Grimmjow pulling her ass in the air and giving both of them a loud smack before abusing her aching pussy drenched from over stimulation. As she cried out telling him not to stop. The way his tongue fucked her as he sucked and gave long stroke on her clit.

She remembered how they hungrily kissed each other as their tongue explored every inch and how he seductively sucked her bottom lip leaving them plumped and bruised.

"I remember a lot actually." She tells him as his face lit up. Which tells her Grimmjow was definitely into last night heated session.

"Good, things have been great between us." He says as she traced his abs and slowly going to his lower abdomen making him shiver a bit.

"Just thinking about last night turned me on again." She admits feeling the dampened underwear she wore.

"Oh? I'm always down for another round."

Sitting between his legs she pulled his under garments away and threw it across the room impatiently. Grabbing his erected member softly she pumped it a few times and kissed the tip of it. He shuttered and groaned because she was going so slow but all he wanted to do was to fuck her pretty little mouth.

"Jeez baby if you keep teasing me I won't forgive you."

"Shh." She tells him and slowly puts her mouth around his member. Bobbing her head she looked up to him with lustful eyes. His mouth parted a bit as she moaned, the vibration added to the pleasure he was getting.

Grabbing her head he thrusted into her mouth gently as he hit the back of her throat.

Holding his thigh for support she pulled away and gave him long teasing licks around his erected member as she stroke and swallowed it whole again hollowing her cheeks as Grimmjow groaned in response.

Feeling herself getting impatient she slipped one hand to massage her aching core.

"Someone is rather impatient today." He says and pulled her up to face him as they joined lips again giving her a passionate lusty kiss.

Moving to her collarbones and to her breast he swirled her nipples like they were lollipops with his mouth sucking on them as he grabbed her ass and gave it a loud smack.

Releasing his mouth he laid her down and crawled on top, before entering himself he kissed her gently and brought one of her legs up trailing it with kisses.

Grimmjow stroked himself a bit before entering slowly into her drench and aching core. She bit her lip and arched her back, they felt whole again.

(Your Name) couldn't describe the feeling but it was pure bliss and heaven as he thrusted into her faster as he brought his hand and rubbed her clit. She moaned in pleasure and brought Grimmjow closer to her as she wrapped her legs around him. His balls hitting her ass as he kissed her drove her on edge as she moaned into his mouth.

Flipping her on all fours he pounded into her holding her hands behind her back she relied on Grimmjow so she wouldn't fall face down.

Grimmjow was started to get sloppy knowing he was going to cum soon, looking at the mirror he could see her face crying in pleasure and the way her breast swinging back and fourth drove him on edge as he groaned lightly.

Letting her hands go as she fell onto the comfy mattress he grabbed her hip and pounded into her unmercifully he breathlessly said "I'm about to cum."

"It's okay you can cum in me." She says as he leaned down and bit her shoulder and shot his hot seeds into her.

A few months pasted by and their relationship couldn't be any better. They hadn't fought in a long time. They were both happy together even though they had opposite schedules from each other they both tried their hardest to make time for each other.

"I'm leaving to America for a week." Grimmjow says to her one night as they ate dinner together on the couch.

"Okay, whatever your work tells you to do. I'm fine with that."

"Good, just letting you know. I've been getting quite the attention recently." He smirks running his hand through his hair.

(Your Name) knew her boyfriend was extremely good looking and that many women wanted him but after getting a job as a personal body guard with the hottest celebrities in Japan it lowered her self esteem. Although she didn't let it get to her because of how happy they were together it still bothered her.

"I know. I didn't think you were going to get that much attention."

Grimmjow shrugs and pulls her onto his lap. "Why you jealous?"

"Fuck no. You're ugly anyways."

He laughs as his phone rang showing a unknown number to her. Raising her eyebrow she gives him a look. "Aren't you going to answer it?"

"Nah just some annoying fan I'm guessing."

Although she wanted to believe Grimmjow she knew it was to good to be true that they were this happy. She knew Grimmjow was still suspicious.

"Okay then."

After taking his leave to America she saw the celebrity he was going with. She was Japan hottest actress at the moment. (Your Name) didn't want to feel down, but she was getting extremely insecure.

The actress was tall and beautiful, with slick black hair and the most expensive outfits that made her look even more high and mighty.

Before Grimmjow left the actress gave (Your Name) a look up and down and smirked entering her private jet.

"Fuck that bitch." (Your Name) said as she watched Grimmjow leave. "He's still mine."

She didn't hear much from Grimmjow that week because of the time difference and he claimed that he was super busy.

Grimmjow was starting to get his own small fan base in japan and it annoyed her because she felt like he was going to forget her slowly for fame.

When he got back from America everything was the same except she fought condoms in his luggage.

Grabbing them from his suit case she threw the whole case at him. "What the fuck Grimmjow? If you wanted to fuck another bitch at least be more secretive about it!" She yelled as he caught it.

"Woah it's not what you think!" He explains to her as she grabbed her own bags and started to pack.

"I can't do this no more, we can't with this relationship anymore. I'm almost 30 and I'm living a life of a newly college student. I want to advance my future! I want to get married and have kids! If I stay with you any longer I won't be able to love myself."

Grimmjow ran his hands through his hair and followed her in the bedroom. "I didn't do anything with her! I bought those in America for us." He tells her as she looked down and sighed.

(Your Name) wanted to believe him but from past experiences she was scared.

"I want to believe you but I'm scared." She tells him. Grimmjow pulls her close to him and makes her look at his face.

"(Your Name) I promise you I didn't do anything. I'm sorry I make you feel so low and insecure. I want to change that. Just because I work for those famous people doesn't mean I don't think you look just as good. You are the most fucking beautiful person I've ever met and been with. I don't want you to leave, I need you."

Wiping the tears from her face she held his face and traced his face with her thumbs.

"It's just hurts, it hurts to much. It hurts to know that you haven't thought about our future together. I can't let go of the past, your actions from before has caused me to be so cautious about everything you do. That isn't healthy!"

She screams at him as he felt his heart hurt from the way she told him her feelings she had been hiding the whole time.

"Please don't leave, I've been making things right for us. Why can't you believe me for once!" He argued back holding her shoulders tightly afraid to let her go.

That night she spend it in his arms crying.

Grimmjow stayed up till she was okay and comforted her.

Every word he told her weren't lies, he really couldn't see anyone else putting up with his shit besides her. He needed her to keep him sane.

"I'm sorry (Your Name)." He kissed her softly on the head as she snored below him fast asleep now.

Stirring in her sleep she held him tighter, his heart soften from this.

Grimmjow was a tough cookie and he was rarely nice, gentle and compassionate. Over the years he developed those traits being with (Your Name). Because of her he had many opportunities that came into his life and she helped him when he was at his lowest even though it hurt her along the way.

Grimmjow was blinded but slowly saw that (Your Name) will always be there for him no matter how much she says she wants to leave him.

He was ready for the future now, he let go of his past self and was working on his personal growth and goals.

Right now the bills are fine, they both have a stable job and their relationship was fixing slowly, he wouldn't have it any other way. Beside no relationship is perfect and he understood that they will always have their ups and down no matter how much they tried.

"Sleep peacefully (Your Name) I'll be here in the morning." Grimmjow says tiredly giving her one last kiss on the temple before drifting off to sleep.

#bleach #grimmjow jaegerjaquez #bleach grimmjow #bleach one shots #bleach x reader #bleach oneshot #bleach imagines #tite kubo #kubo tite

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mellie1409 · 3 years

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Workout coffee (pt. 2 Fansign- ft. jjk)

Beautiful y/n, please meet me at the men's bathroom of the floor above us 5 minutes after we leave the fansign. I will wait there for 10 minutes and it's totally okay if you don't want to show up.

'Is this for real?' Y/n thougt. When she came to the fansign she was ready to only be able to spend 14 minutes with her beloved idols, the people she appreciated the most. But now one of them wanted to see her? And actually talk to her in private? 'What would he want from me?' Y/n wondered. She was too nervous imagining what he would want from her to actually realize how Jungkook spent the rest of the fansign looking furtively at her.

She missed those little glimpses he threw her and how he would smile at her anxious tick where she would bite her lip and use some chapstick right after.

Fast forward to the end of the fansign

When everyone had went through the whole table, Bangtan spent a few more minutes interacting with ARMY and then stood up and prepared themselves to wave goodbye.

Before leaving the room, Jungkook looked at y/n one last time, and this time she made eye contact with him. Time seemed to stop again and once again she felt lured to him. But it was just a second. She gave him a little nod and then he smiled and left the room without saying anything else.

Y/n stood up so quickly she threw her chair onto the girl behind her, who gave her a hateful look. But she didn't have time to pitty that girl, she needed to get to the bathroom ASAP. She passed most ARMYs and pushed a few girls carefully aside while walking through the door. She walked up the stairs one floor and looked for the men's bathroom.

She stopped at the door: should she go in? Was this all real or just her imagination? 'I guess if no one is here then I'm just going crazy, but right now I have nothing to lose... '

So Y/n took a deep breath and pushed the door. There, standing in his concert clothes, was Jungkook. Looking like a God, so perfect and impossible to reach, until he reached out to shake her hand. At that moment Y/n realized he was real and that they were both in fact standing in the bathroom of a football stadium alone.

'Hi, Y/n, I'm Jungkook nice to meet you. ' he spoke with his sweet and soft voice.

Y/n was still holding his hand but didn't dare to look him in the eyes. She was very shy and only dared to say hi.

Jungkook giggled and thought: 'cute'. But didn't tell her that, instead he spoke rapidly and nervously:

'I know you're probably wondering why I asked you to come here. I just felt something the moment I saw you. I loved your way of being so sincere with each of the members and couldn't help but start to like you. So I wanted to ask you formally and personally on a date. As you know it's difficult as an idol, but we could make it work if you want it and only if you want. I don't want to pressure you or use my status as an idol to convince you because I like you a lot and I think you deserve a thruthful person they doesn't hurt you. So Y/n, would you like to go on a date with me? '

Y/n looked shocked, never in a 1000 years would she have expected to be asked out by her bias. She was beyond excited and didn't manage to get her answer out. This was until Jungkook shifted a bit uncomfortable. She then snapped back to reality and blurted out a huge YES while throwing herself into his arms for a hug.

A few seconds, a confused Jungkook and an embarrassed Y/n after, they stood there for a minute silently. But then they excitedly began planning their date.

Jungkook's plane would leave the next day at 12 o'clock to the next city so they needed to meet way before that time. As they were both very sporty people, they decided to go on a run date and would afterwards get some coffee in a little café. To make sure nobody recognized him, they would meet at 5 in the morning and then leave before people woke up.

After some planning and exchanhing their phones, they decided that it was best if Jungkook left the bathroom a few minutes after Y/n. They gave each other a cute little awkward hug and then Y/n took off.

Fast forward to 5 oclock in the morning the next day

Y/n was waiting in front of her house. She was wearing sporty clothes as she would be running and probably sweating. It was still a bit dark, but it would be day in no time because it was summer.

She still couldn't believe what happened yesterday, she was in cloud nine. What Jungkook had told her yesterday made her heart flutter. Before her natural reaction of doubting could even take place, she found herself feeling reassured by his words and the way he wanted to do things right without hurting any of them both. He truly was the golden maknae, not because of his talents, but because of his heart.

'Good morninggggg! ' she snapped back to reality and saw Jungkook standing there, ready to run, with the cutest smile on his face looking at her.

Y/n smiled and looked at him. He was the cutest dork she had ever seen and the butterflies in her belly told her this wouldn't be the last time she was going to see him.

They started running and ran around the park next to Y/n's house. Even if Y/n was a sporty girl, Jungkook was in a much better physical condition than her, but he was a true gentleman and adapted his running tempo to her's. They ran for about an hour and then decided to sit on a bench to talk.

They talked about everything and anything, about their lives. How Jungkook was living his dream life and how he loved what he did, but that he felt he missed something or someone in his life, an anchor to the real world. That talked about Y/n and how she was stressed lately because of her busy life, but how she used BTS to get out of that stressful routine and enjoy and relax. And they talked about what they wanted in life. They both wanted to start a relationship but with their busy schedules it was a bit difficult to find someone who would understand them.

Then they suddenly fell silent. They both realized they were the right ones for each other, but none of them dared to set the first move. To come out of their embarrassment they headed to the little cafe they would be having breakfast at.

There that sat down in a corner were no one would be able to recognize Jungkook and they ordered some sweet food to strengthen back after such a workout session.

They had a light and funny conversation and enjoyed the delicious breakfast with sights on the early morning street, with no passerby and the city river on sight. Torwards the end of the meal, the knew they time had come where they made a decision.

They both liked each other and wanted to have another fmdate, but Jungkook needed to leave and that would not be possible. So they made a crazy, but lovefull decision. They would be as from that moment a couple. They would keep it a secret from the public, but would be in a long distance relationship. It was easier to be in an already started relationship, than to start one online. It was for them at that moment the best decision they could make. And for the rest, the wouldn't rush things. They would take their time and see if things worked out. Because the both felt, they were ment to be for each other. That is

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loghainmactir · 5 years

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hewwo! i was wondering if u could pls give me some advice on starting my transition? ive been so scared to start bc of family and costs but ive decided to just. do it. yknow? like if i don't ill probably die lol. u look amazing and rly confident in yourself in all ur selfies and one day i wanna be Like That ✌️❤️

hi! ok, so first of all: yeah, i absolutely can give u advice, and second of all: i remember feeling exactly like you did. it literally wasn’t that long ago, either, it was like. 2013/14/15 (i can’t remember, time is fake, whatever lmao!). third of all: bless u yr so sweet. i still have a lotta issues with confidence (i doubt myself, my talent and what i can do literally hourly), but honestly? i love my body right now. it’s a good, genderless body, goddamnit.

long, long post ahead bc i’m trying to think of things i did and good god please take it with a grain of salt because a lot of this is just me ranting about things i wish I’D done in my own position. i’m also coming from a place where HRT and surgeries AREN’T free, so that’s also A Thing. everyone’s experience is different.

transitioning (particularly medically) really super fuckin varies country by country (and honestly probably even state by state, age by age and fuckin gender by gender because cis people won’t let us fucking BE goddamn): i don’t know where you are, so my only tips there r: find a trans friendly doctor/endo (i was kinda forced to go through a hospital bc That Was How It Was here in good ol’ Australia), and one people wholeheartedly recommend, if you wanna go that route.

my first point is make sure you find safe spaces in every goddamn aspect of your transition. medically, socially, physically. if you think your doctor is refusing you treatment or is discriminating against you, you NEED to ditch that doctor. if your friends and family are really verbally or physically violent against LGBT folks, you NEED to leave that space if you can (or not come out and wait until you can leave. seriously. i’m kinda lucky– my grandma was verbally violent against LGBT folks, and initially my mum was skepitcal, but i convinced them both to go to a group for LGBT+ parents and friends and they slowly turned around). get yourself friends, get yourself allies.

i cannot stress that enough. my first doctor refused to send my referral letter to the royal children’s hospital gender clinic because even tho he presented as a “nice” guy, he believed that because this was “”””out of the blue”””” for me, he figured he’d just Not Send It (and tried to tell me that a lotta kids there didn’t actually helpo, lol). so there i was, a young 15-16 year old alister, waiting like 2-3 months for something that didn’t even get fucking sent.

join trans groups on facebook and in real life. seriously, they’re a godsend; there’s buy-and-sells, advice posts, encouragement posts. ESPECIALLY local ones. most of them on facebook are private, meaning no one can see if you’re posting/in the group, and it’s easy to check if they’re not. these fb pages + local groups are good ways to find trans friendly spaces and doctors. i found my current doctor, who’s actually one of the very few doctors who knows what the fuck he’s on about re: trans people, through a real life trans group. they were like “oh, you should see x”, and even though he’s about 30-40 minutes away from me, he’s brilliant and honestly saved my life.

along those lines: figure out what you want from your transition, and then realize & accept that this may change (and it also may not change!). very early on, i was super insistent that i wanted phalloplasty and to wear packers, and now i couldn’t care less. at first, i identified as agender, and then as a trans guy/ftm, and now i identify as a Black Hole (i’m kidding, don’t @ me). like, a lotta people DON’T change their minds. but i did, some people do, and it shouldn’t be anyone’s business but your own what you want to do with your body

(sidenote: this also goes for detransitioning or stopping medical transition but continuing to socially transition/present differently. literally, it’s fine. it’s your body. fuck anyone who says otherwise.)

again: FUCK ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE.

your body is literally your body. do NOT let anyone tell you what to do with it or who you are. i had people very early on scream at me (legitimately scream and throw me out of home, thanks grandma), tell me i wasn’t actually trans, and harrass me for this shit: but frankly, if i’d put myself back in the closet, i wouldn’t be alive right now. i would’ve killed myself years ago, and i wish i wasn’t kidding. if it’s safe, you need to stand up for your own body and your rights and put yourself somewhere that will allow you to follow through. you need to keep going and keep living.

my only other two pieces of advice are “patience, baby”– like, for real, every single part of transition takes time. this varies from where you are and who’s supporting you, but it’s generally true. it takes time for people to accept new names and pronouns

(lotta people get furious about this, and i used to be one of those people, but hindsight’s a bitch and you gotta realize that… like, it’s hard for some cis people. you gotta give them a little bit of wiggle room, especially if they’ve never ever met a trans person before. it’s about reminders, reminders, reminders: which is SO hard if you’re not safe/don’t have the confidence. there IS a flip side to this though: if chad and stacey have known your new pronouns for months, now, and they keep “””slipping””” up, they’re not slipping up, honey. they’re doing it on purpose. kick their teeth in i’m kidding please don’t do this you know what i mean.)

it takes time for HRT to kick in. it takes time to gather a Look™ of your own you like, it takes time to build confidence to even tell people, it takes time to save up money for surgeries and it just… takes time. sometimes because it’s a naturally slow process, sometimes because cis people are Cis People and like to gatekeep. i remember being very young in my transition, sitting in the car after one of my appointments with the afformentioned shithead doctor bawling my eyes out because he’d told me i wouldn’t be able to access t for x amount of time and it was bullshit. this year i’ll be 2 years on t. wild, huh? there’s a lot of us and not equal amounts of resources (ESPECIALLY in public systems) depending on where you are, so you gotta be prepared to WAIT.

i’ll tell you what super helped me through those years: hyping myself up for other things! i still have the ticket from my first twenty one pilots show. that show meant SO much to me. i cried all through it, because waiting for that show kept my mind off of the wait for my royal children’s appointments (and even waiting to go up to melbourne bc my mum and i would go and get kebabs was a good thing to focus on!). keep things that aren’t trans related on hand (seriously i struggled with this because dysphoria and shit is fucking hard!! it’s easy to say but really fucking hard to put into practice).

(one day i’m gonna tell tyler and josh just how much they saved my goddamn life. i know they hear it weekly, but i will.)

my other thing is that uh. it won’t solve all your problems especially if you’ve got mental illnesses. this is a really fuckin depressing thing i had to drill into my brain, but it really helped. transitioning solved SO many of my issues. i no longer have back issues (thanks, like, literal kilo titties, lmao), i no longer have sore ribs and i can breathe and wear shirts. i lost so much weight (and am kinda gaining it back, but whatever). i no longer have anxiety about whether people can tell i’m binding– which is WILD because i used to stress the fuck out about it to the point where i never went out anywhere. i used to sit on the bus wondering if the person next to me could tell i had titties. now it literally doesn’t even register.

my issues now stem from PTSD, depression, BPD and ADHD. how do you fix this? you don’t. but what HAS helped is finding a therapist who won’t pressure you into talking about trans shit. lemme tell you: this shit gets exhausting after the fifth time of “oh i googled ‘can you become a boy’ when i was, like, nine” (this is my go to story because this memory is so vivid). of course, there’s gonna be moments where you HAVE to: my therapist recently actively asked me to briefly run through it for my PTSD report. but otherwise we literally haven’t talked about it and that is a GODSEND (because i don’t need it. if you need it, that’s good, too!). having a therapist that you can just wordvomit at wrt anything is literally the best thing and can be super helpful– seriously, there were a few trans-related sessions where i just snarled about the bullshit gatekeeping and the bastard i had to see for my therapist letter (oooh, every time i think abt the fact that it was something like $400-500 for two fucking sessions i get so mad lol), but outta 14 it’s really only like 2-3 of them.

but yeah. that’s it. i dunno, these are things that i’ve learnt and sorta… like to think as helpful for myself. of course, this could be different for you: you’re not me, you’re entirely different, in no doubt an entirely different country, social, financial, mental state. i was FUCKED UP when i first came out. i didn’t know that then, but i do now. i spent a lotta time by myself and that’s not healthy, so i really encourage you to reach out to our community, local and worldly, because oh my god, we’re here for you. we are SO here for you.

#long post #sorry if you need this formatted for ease of reading please shout at me. i really word vomited all over this #my transition #trans #anon #asks #iodk what else to tag this as

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airadam · 7 years

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Episode 94 : The Illest

"...yo' ass lie like the president!"

- Ice Cube

This month marks twenty years since the death of Biggie Smalls - and yet it somehow doesn't feel like that long ago. The B.I.G man's influence still looms large over the culture and this show is no exception. Several Biggie tracks and others inspired by him dot the episode, alongside choices from the discographies of the late Phife and Nate Dogg. Besides those, a few classics and some fairly modern gems you may have missed!

Catch me DJing at Eastern Bloc Records on April 22nd for Record Store Day and then stay out for their big party in the evening! Just over a week later, check DJ Andy Smith at Whiskey Jar for a Sunday night session :)

Twitter : @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Ice Cube ft. Chris Rock : You Ain't Gotta Lie (Ta Kick It)

The way things are right now, I should do a whole mixtape strictly on the subject of lying! Chris Rock was an inspired choice to guest on this track from "War & Peace Vol.2 (The Peace Disc)" for the adlibs, while Cube just goes in with venom on an assortment of unnamed dishonest people. Production comes from Chucky Thompson of The Hitmen, and it does have a little of that Bad Boy flavour - you could imagine someone like The Lox on this beat back in the day.

Da Beatminerz : Bentleys & Bitches (Instrumental)

Tough beat right here from instrumental version the "Brace 4 Impak" LP (can't believe it's 16 years old this year!) - definitely an album to have in the collection if the ruggedness is what you seek.

ODB : Hippa To Da Hoppa

Two short verses of battle rhymes in Dirty's own truly inimitable style :) I don't play much ODB here somehow, but he was an MC unlike any other. This isn't one of the most often heard tracks from "Return To The 36 Chambers : The Dirty Version", but it popped into my head as one to bring out this month. The beat was one that RZA had in his archives and that Dirty had mentally bookmarked for himself when the time was right.

Lords Of The Underground : Chief Rocka

I was well pleased to be able to cut this in and have it rhyme with the hook of the preceding track! A classic Hip-Hop single out of Newark, New Jersey, with K-Def on production. This is the video version, taken from the 12" single, with the original of course being available on the "Here Come The Lords" LP. This tune is quality all the way through, but we don't quite make it to the end of the third verse, because it made sense to loop up a notable Mr.Funkee line and then come in with...

The Notorious B.I.G. : Machine Gun Funk

...a track which happens to use it as a hook! The 1-2-3 combo on "Ready To Die" of "Things Done Changed", "Gimme The Loot", and "Machine Gun Funk" is phenomenal, but this is still an underrated cut in my opinion. Easy Mo Bee contributed an absolutely cracking beat, and Biggie's rhymes are enough for his son to rate this as maybe his favourite from the catalogue. Pure fire.

Mary J. Blige ft. The Notorious B.I.G. : Real Love (Remix)

If you weren't around at the time, it's hard to communicate how revolutionary this was. Hip-Hop and R&B were very separate things back then, and it was people like the Harlem DJ Ron G with his innovative and influential blend tapes who showed the possibilities of combining the two. When Puff Daddy (now P.Diddy) went to Uptown Records, he masterminded producing that kind of combination to the studio, and the "What's The 411? (Remix)" album is one of the most well-known examples. Ron G is actually on the intro to this track (just before the part I start playing from), but Puffy and Daddy-O (of Stetsasonic) are credited with the Hip-Hop-heavy production, blending several classic samples together to give Mary a fitting backing - which also works brilliantly for Biggie, when he comes in.

[Buckwild] Sadat X : The Lump Lump (Instrumental)

Classic boom-bap from 1996, Buckwild's bumping instrumental for the Sadat X track discussing... adventures about town. This was a quality single from the "Wild Cowboys" LP - remember when a tune like this could be a club banger?

Curren$y ft. Nate Dogg & Nijay Sincere : Let's Get It Crackin'

This has one of those hooks that just sticks in your head - Nate Dogg can do that to you. Just know that you cannot sing like him :) Anyway, this is kind of an interesting one; you may be familiar with Curren$y's recent career, the "lifestyle rap" and the sonic flavours that come with it, but this 2010 single sounds more like a move for the clubs and the radio - not necessarily a bad thing at all. He's firmly midtempo here over the DJ Taylormade beat with Nate supplying a hook that may not be catchy, but one that works for sure.

A Tribe Called Quest : The Donald

RIP Phife Dawg...aka Don Juice, apparently! Dancehall-accented tune with some nice turntable work (courtesy of DJ Scratch) for the sureshot combination of Tribe and Busta Rhymes on this closer from "We got it from Here...Thank You 4 Your Service", the final ATCQ LP. One of the only things I've heard in months that involves the name "Donald" and doesn't make me want to be sick!

Lexxus : Stress

I'm kind of mad I had to buy the "Mr.Lex" album a second time (on CD) because so many tracks aren't on the vinyl. Still, big tune here with Bobby Konders on the digital production! Lexxus only has two albums, but his singles discography is deep if you like what you hear.

Large Pro : Off Yo Azz On Yo Feet

The live guy with glasses just keeps on going. His latest LP, 2015's "Re:Living" was a concise eleven tracks, with this being one that just stuck in my head. Self-produced, of course, with the snare smacking away relentlessly in the mix. Lyrically - I guess it's motivational music, after a fashion? The hook certainly leaves no doubt about the message :)

The Alchemist : The Thirst

Thinking about it recently, I realised that in this post-anthem world with an explosion of music availability, Alchemist has quietly worked his way into the pantheon of greatest all-time producers. A nice dark beat from the first "Rapper's Best Friend" beat compilation.

Mega Ran : 10 Gamer Commandments

Random aka Mega Ran is best known for his skill at blending of video game culture and Hip-Hop, and he gives just a piece of it on this cut from his "Notorious R.A.N - Ready To Live" tribute album. Twenty years after the passing of Biggie, Mega Ran reworks some of his tracks in tribute, and this bonus track is of course his flip of "Ten Crack Commandments"; a step-by-step booklet on how to conduct yourself in the gaming world ;)

Kaytranada ft. Craig David : Got It Good

A year ago we heard a Ras Kass track based on this instrumental, but I thought it was worth giving you the original! Coming strong for the crown of best producer to come out of Haiti, the Canadian-raised Kaytranada made some serious noise among those who know last year with the "99.9%" album, and this was a standout cut for me. The highly underrated Craig David supplies a smooth vocal performance at the high end while the beat bumps along at the bottom - great blend.

Omniscence : Golden

North Carolina coming through! The likes of Bandcamp is a godsend for allowing independent releases to be easily obtainable by the fans, and after putting out stuff like the previously-unreleased "The Raw Factor" digitally, Omniscence then moved on to bringing new material onto the platform. This piece from "The God Hour" has some bump but the gentle keyboard work is a fitting backing to Omni's two contemplative verses.

Geto Boys : Leanin' On You

A group often missed when we discuss Hip-Hop legends, Houston's Geto Boys went through lineup changes early in their life, then settled for a while before changing again, and finally coming back together with what most consider the canonical MC lineup - Scarface, Willie D, and Bushwick Bill. Here, we take a reflective track from their seventh LP, "The Foundation", with each MC taking a turn to describe a missed person or a struggle in their own lives. The production comes from someone you may not associate with this style, and also may not have thought about in a while - Mr.Mixx of 2 Live Crew, a pioneer of the Miami Bass sound. This certainly has some heft in the mix but rather than the accelerated beats that he made his name with, this sample re-work is slow and somewhat solemn, perfectly matching the lyrics.

Oddisee : Brixton

A bit of an old one (2010) from Oddisee's "Traveling Man" instrumental album; I don't know if he made this beat in Brixton or just took inspiration from there, but it's quality as usual. I'll likely play you something from his new album "The Iceberg" in the coming months.

Willie Evans Jr. : Nerd English

Finally, we come all the way back to the theme from the episode opener! A very amusing but sincere track about keeping it all the way real, staying in your lane...however you want to put it :) It reminds us that trying to be something we're not is stressful, hard work, potentially trouble, and just generally undignified. A solid tune from the "Introducin'" LP that always makes me smile.

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

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