#don't do lando like that you fuckers

[f1-birb]

nah Sky can fuck off with that, don't act like Lando's not one of the biggest team players on the grid

#lando norris #don't do lando like that you fuckers #one time he got annoyed because he was faster and told to hold #one time #fuck you martin fuck you crofty

[norrisleclercf1]

Thief

Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader

Warnings: SMUT! Pure smut, dirty talk, name calling, p in v, sexting, public acts, Lando has a big dick (deal with it), I’m sure I missed some more

Rating: R

Words: 2.9K

Requested: Yes/No

Request: Hiiii! Im not sure if you're taking requests currently but if you are then could you write a piece where Lando makes a video pranking the reader by hiding all of her tshirts/tops or any piece of garment and when she asks him where her clothes are gone he just acts innocent like he knows nothing This could lead onto to anything tbh, i wouldn't mind some 18 rated content after this and i wouldn't even mind it being warning less tysmmm and love your writings ✨✨❤️

A/N: I’m going to hell for this one, still learning how to write good smut, I think I’m getting there. Anyways this got away from me, and kinda changed the request, but I hope you like it

"Lando! Where is my favorite bra?" You yell loudly at your boyfriend. Lando rips his headphones off down the hall in his game room. 

"What?" He yells back. He leans back in his chair and pauses the video game, and thankfully he wasn't streaming today. 

"My bra? My favorite bra it's missing. Have you seen it?" You ask, voice getting closer until you appear before him, only wearing this eyelash lingerie bottom. It was black and baby pink with the cloth covering you see-through, and damn, he was delighted he wasn't streaming today. 

"Baby, fuck, trying to kill me?" Lando asks, trying hard not to pull you into his lap, lay you on the desk, and eat you out until you forget your name. 

"Lando, not now. I can't find my favorite bra; it goes with this set." You whine, annoyed you've lost yet another piece of clothing. 

For the past two months, you have lost clothing here and there; it's started to get you, especially after losing this bra. You don't know what's been happening, maybe from all the traveling you do with Lando, you've lost clothing, but you never let this bra out of your sight, and this time it's the piece of clothing you lose. 

"We just returned from Australia, and maybe you left it at the hotel? I can buy you a new one." He shrugs, trying not to stare at your chest. 

"Lan, I was wearing it on the plane; you ripped it off me when we got home." You groan, pulling your hair and storming down the hallway to your shared bedroom. 

Lando lets out his signature giggle and looks down at the left corner of his desk, the familiar baby pink poking out slightly. For the two months you've believed you have lost the articles of clothing, Lando was the one the entire time stealing them slowly. It started as a silly joke, but he couldn't help but keep doing it as the weeks passed. He's kept the clothes hidden throughout the apartment and shakes his head, glad he took this piece. 

You stomp back into the bedroom and look around the room for the bra, even looking in Lando's drawers. You pull the clothing out and stop, seeing your favorite cami. 

"Fucker." You whisper, everything clicking when you see other pieces of your clothing. 

"Fine, you wanna fuck with me, alright then. Game on." You mumble and decide to change your outfit for girls' night. 

Heading to the back of your closet, you pull out something you haven't worn since you started dating Lando. At first, you stopped wearing it out of respect for your relationship, but then you forgot you owned it until you started looking for your lost clothes. 

It was this soft peach-colored halter drawstring bodycon mini dress that had a thin piece of cloth tied together to hide your breast and two strings on each side to hold the skirt closed on your hips, but it did leave a gap on your waist, showing everyone you didn't have underwear on. You grab these light nude ankle strappy heels for the shoes and do them up. Wearing them, you'd be slightly taller than your boyfriend, but tonight he wouldn't be with you, so it didn't matter. You do these light but sexy makeup look to go with the dress's color and throw your hair up the way you love when you go out. 

"Lando, I'm leaving!" You yell down the hall, waiting for a reply, but you don't get one. Groaning in annoyance, you walk down the hall and see he's distracted by the video game. 

Opening your mouth to get his attention, you stop thinking about how to punish him for the prank he's been pulling on you for two months. You tiptoe behind him before falling on your knees and sliding under the desk. Lando has no idea you are there and decides to click on his Twitch account and start to stream. You hear the familiar tune and stop for a second, thinking if you should do this and smirk. Payback is a bitch. You wait till he is utterly unaware before you trail your hand up his thigh, making him jump almost out of his chair. 

"Fu-." He slaps a hand over his mouth to stop him from cussing, he wants to say something, but there is no way he can pull you out from under the desk without the video going utterly viral. 

You put a finger to your lips, silencing him as he gently sits back down and makes up an excuse on how he felt something tickling his leg and spooked. Rolling your eyes, you ghost his leg before settling it in his lap; Lando turns bright red but says it's just hot in the room. 

Palming him slowly, you smirk when you feel him twitch and grow hard under your hand. You always love how he reacts to your touch, even if it is simple and innocent, except this time, it isn't. Lando tries hard not to respond; he has to save face, but you're making it hard on him. When you're content with how stiff he's grown, you unzip his jeans, making him squirm as he shifts and pulls his pants and boxers down slightly. You watch as it lays in his lap and feel your own self growing wet. 

This idea would backfire, but you knew what to do and how to stop it. Lando was big, not like, holy shit, he's enormously big, but enough to need to prep before taking him. You loved that about him. He never brags about what he's packing and keeps it to himself. So the first time you fooled around and felt it, you were taken aback, making him laugh at your confusion. 

You swallow slightly, trying to relax your throat and lean forward, swiping your tongue from his balls to the tip of his cock. Lando's knees jerk upward and crash into the desk, and you have to cover your mouth to stop the giggles as he slams himself forward to the desk making sure no one can see a thing. 

He keeps playing the game, trying hard not to shove his cock down your throat for how you act, but he lets you be in control, or else everyone would know what was happening right now. You make the motion again, except you suck his tip into your mouth and flatten your tongue, letting him feel your warmth. He reaches down and wraps his fingers behind your neck, urging you to take more of him, which you down, loving his weight in your throat. 

Biting his lip to stop the pornographic moan about to leave his lips, he squeezes his eyes shut and takes a few deep breaths trying to reign in his control. 

"Sorry guys, just not feeling too hot, but I'm okay. Trust me. I'm very much okay." His voice wobbles and about dies there when you start to bob your head. 

You switch between swirling your tongue around his base as you bob your head and then pulling off and sucking on his tip. You know he's close when his twitches in your mouth and the vein underneath becomes visible. 

"Alright, I've got to go, guys. Bye!" He yells and frantically turns everything off, and when you hear it power down, you pull off, making him moan loudly. 

"Fucking Christ, sunshine, what the hell?" He yells, mixed between anger and wanting to cum. 

You climb out from underneath as he turns into a stuttering mess at what you're wearing. Fixing your dress, you look down at your boyfriend. 

"I've got to go; late meeting the girls." You smile innocently and peck his lips, walking down the hall. 

You giggle, hearing his feet chase after you. "Wait, you can't leave just yet." He groans, and you turn around, acting confused. 

"Why not?" You ask cocking your head to the side. 

"I....I didn't finish." He blushes, making you almost crack, but you hold firm and sigh, standing up straight. 

Turning the door handle, you smirk at him as he stares at you. "Welcome to the club." Slamming the door fast, you bolt for the elevator before he can follow you. 

It was a low blow, but it wasn't true. Lando always made sure to finish you off and hated when you couldn't; of course, he understood that it took some time for people and came pretty easy for others. You laid in the middle and just prayed Lando could realize it was a joke. But, if it riled him up even more, it was perfect. 

Getting to the bar took a little time, but you were able to plan even more. You found your friends, and drinks were already going around the table. Talking and drinking helped you get your mind off your boyfriend until your thoughts drifted back to Lando and how he felt in your mouth. Pathetic would be the word you'd use to describe your state. 

Sliding off the stool, you go to the bathroom and go to the sink, freshening up and wiping away the alcohol on you. For the first time that night, you look at your phone and see multiple texts from Lando. 

I hope for your benefit and ability to walk, you were joking earlier 

Y/n, please let me know if you're okay

Fuck, I'm still stiff and I want nothing more than to bury myself inside you

When you get home, be prepared not to leave or walk for a while 

If you need me to pick you up, say the word 

Giggling at the back and forth between the sweet, protective boyfriend and the very horny 23-year-old, you decide to rile him up even more before texting him to come to get you.  

Looking around the bathroom, you see no one as you walk into a stall and lock the door. You unlock your phone and spread your legs; hitting the record button, you give him a light tease of your fingers trailing up your thigh before disappearing under your dress. From the angle, all you could see was your hand up your clothing. Before pulling the skirt up, Lando would get a clear view of your pussy swallowing your fingers. Breathy moans leave your mouth as you move your fingers in and out, showing off how wet you are for him. 

"Lando." You whine, speeding up your fingers and starting to speed them up, moans becoming louder and louder with each passing moment.

You hit the record button again, ending it as you pull your fingers out slowly, you weren't one to edge yourself, but it was only fair, with what you did to Lando, that you wait too.  

Hitting send you to watch as it's delivered, and Lando opens the text immediately. 

Come get me 

That is all that is attached to the message, you don't get a reply from Lando, but you don't need one to know he'd be here before you walk out. Lando is always nearby when you drink, ensuring you're okay and safe. Your friends found it weird, but to you, it was his way of keeping you safe and protected from the creeps in the world. 

You don't even say anything to your friends as you see Lando's car and him leaning against the car. You smile but stop short, seeing him wear an all-black outfit with the first few buttons undone and his curls curling. He was playing dirty too. 

"Let's go home." Grabbing your hand, he pulls you into him, making you breathless as he kisses you deeply. His hands landed on your ass and squeezed it before landing a playful slap on it, making you moan in his mouth. 

"Mhm." Your eyes are closed as he opens your door and helps you in; he comes over to the driver's side and starts the car driving back to his place. 

You both sit silently before you look at him and poke more fun. 

"A guy asked for my number at the bar before I sent the video." You sigh, and out of the corner of your eye, you see his hand tighten on the wheel. 

"Really? Was it me or him that made you do that in the bathroom?" His voice was calm and collected but very close to snapping. 

"Him, a gorgeous millionaire, was thinking of getting on my knees for him too." You giggle, and Lando shakes his head, pulling into the parking garage. 

"Come on, let's go upstairs." He smiles, kissing your hand and jogging to the other side to help you out of the car. 

Walking to the elevator, Lando pulls you close to him by the hip and waits for the elevator to take you upstairs. You notice he's using the hidden elevator that puts you in his penthouse instead of walking the hallway. Stepping into the elevator, he slams you against the wall, making you whine as his hand holds your throat, not tight but enough to make you squirm. 

"Sunshine, you better tread lightly. First, you blow me, but I'm not able to finish in that gorgeous mouth of yours, then you wear this slutty dress that makes me want to bury my balls in you, and lastly, that video. You've been bad." He groans, his free hand playing with the loose string holding the front of your dress together. 

"M' sorry." You whine, bucking your hips up to get some friction, but Lando pins you to the wall holding you still with his own body. 

"No, you're not, gorgeous." He whispers, kissing your neck before biting and sucking a mark into your skin, showing off how you're his. 

His hand grazes the string before pulling it, your tits falling out as Lando moans cupping one of them, loving how soft they were. 

"Don't take your time. Just fuck me like I'm your whore." You whimper, still dry-humping Lando. 

He chuckles, and you hear the jingle of his belt as he leans down, sucking your tit into his mouth. The elevator door opens as you both stumble over each other before he bends you over the couch. 

"You want to tease and make me jealous, and then I will do that. Who do you belong to?" He asks, taking the tip of his cock and rubbing it over your wet folds, trying hard not to come from the way you moved your hips, trying to get him in you. 

"Fuck me, Lando, please." You whine, but it becomes a scream when Lando enters you in one fluid movement. 

He usually gives you time to adjust slowly as he slides in you, but tonight he was different. The thought of anyone catching you in the bathroom and while he was streaming, he was furious at other men seeing you that way. 

"Are you okay?" He asks, bending over your back; the pressure of his weight on you makes you lustful. 

"Yes, I'm okay." Smiling at how he was still thinking of your comfort, he never wants to hurt you, but that kindness is replaced with the burning jealousy of your boyfriend. 

"Fuck, how are you still tight when you like to act like a whore." He groans, ramming his hips into your ass as you moan as he hits each nerve perfectly. 

"Jesus Lando!" You cry as he wraps a hand around your neck, pulling you up so his chest and back are flushed as he spreads your legs farther apart. 

His head rests between your shoulder and neck as he sucks and bites more marks into your neck, marking his territory. He stops, making you gasp, finally catching some air before he pulls out of you, lays you on the couch, and steps between your legs. He arches his body over you and lifts your legs to lay them on his shoulders. Lando leans down and kisses you gently before sliding into you, making you whimper at how he fills you up. 

"Lando, please, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have; please just let me come," You cry, unable to handle it anymore as his thumb rubs your swollen clit as he moves in and out, carefully dragging it out. 

But you knew he was close too, he had this look of concentration on his face making you laugh out loud, and his eyes snapped to yours at your laughter. 

"What are you laughing at?" He asks and slams into you, making your laughter turn to a breathy moan. 

"You want to come too? You have this look like you're trying not to come." You tease, and Lando loses his serious face and smiles, biting his lip. 

"Shut up; I can't help it. I could come to just at your smile. I can't help it. You left me with blue balls." Kissing you gently as you both moan when you squeeze around him. 

"Damn." He mumbles as he starts to speed up, leaving you both breathless as he takes your other tit into his mouth, sucking and kissing as your fingers dig into his hair, loving the way his necklace dangles between the two of you as his thumb rubs harder, making your muscle tighten. 

"Co-coming!" You cry as you fall apart underneath him, and Lando still as his orgasm crashes into him. Both of you left your mouths open, gasping for air. 

"I love you." He whispers as your fingers hook his necklace and pull him in for a kiss. 

"I love you too; also, stop stealing my clothes. If you want me naked, you could smile at me." Making him laugh as he pulls out of you and picks you up like nothing. 

"Alright then, new rule. No clothes." Laughing as you roll your eyes, kissing his cheek. 

"Deal." Making Lando smile at you, you weren't kidding, and his smile was pantie-drop-worthy. 

#f1 #formula 1 #f1 fandom #f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #f1 imagine #f1 scenario #formula one #lando angst #lando norris gif #lando norris au #lando x y/n #lando imagine #lando norris imagine #lando norris x reader #lando x reader #lando norris smut #lando norris #lando fluff #f1 imagines #f1 smut #f1 fanfic #f1 fluff #f1 fic

[dreamauri]

♪ — 𝗦𝗛𝗛𝗛 lando norris x girlfriend! reader (fluff+smut) “. . . you're finally able to attend one of your boyfriend's races and he super exited things get interesting”

( my master list | more of lando norris ) ( requests | taglist )

"Lando." "Give me like . . . 5 more hours." The boy was sleeping, curled up on some blankets that he put together. One of the members of his team was trying to wake him up, because you were here. The team had put so much effort into flying you to Monaco, and now, Lando was being too lazy to see his surprise.

You were sitting beside him, but like an idiot, he didn't notice at all. "Alright, I'm out." You yawned, standing up and walking passing by in front of Lando and out the garage.

Lando was still half asleep, he thought he must've been dreaming. Sitting up and looking at your disappearing figure. "Am I- Is she?" He couldn't get a word out, not being able to differentiate between reality and dreams.

The team was laughing at him, gesturing and telling him to go catch you before you leave ( which you would not ). He quickly ran out, stumbling over his feet while looking for you. You, who knew he'd be searching for you like a maniac waited at the entrance where he wouldn't see you.

"Where did she-" "Tag. You're it, mother fucker." You tapped his shoulder quickly before running off. "No fair!" You could hear Lando shout as he tried to catch up to you. The first thing that came to mind was to go into the media pin. What you did not plan was hiding behind max, the blond looking confused as you and lando ran circles around him.

"Max don't just- Y/N! Come here! Max help me." Max chuckled taking a sip of his can, shrugging at the interviewer with a smile. "Max please!" "Max no-" you were to late, once the redbull driver put his hand up to stop you, you were immediately lifted up from your thighs by Lando, who quickly around away with you.

"My girlfriend!" He cheered again and again bouncing you up and down ad he ran through the paddock exited, showing you off to everyone. "The love of my life!" He laughed with the widest smile on his face.

You tried to turn around so you look down at him. You were a laughing mess, you've never seen him this happy. "Lando. Put me down." You said in between laughs as he continued to run around and spin you. "But you'll run away." He argued pouting. "I'll give you a kiss." You bribed with a smirk which made him quickly lower you and hug you by your waist.

His bashful smile spread across his face as he waited for you to kiss him. And you did leaning up and pecking his nose. "Heyyy." He whined trying to kiss you properly. "I never said where, I just told you I'd give a kiss." Lando pouted. "Oh my God, I'm dating a puppy."

You chuckled before you were pushed from behind into a kiss. Lando quickly savored it, cupping the back of your head so you wouldn't pull away. And once you did, you looked back to see Daniel Riccardo and Max Verstappen, standing there, looking around like they didn't do anything.

"Oh! Oh my God. Is that you Y/N? Long time no see." Daniel looked at you, pretending this was his first time seeing you, even though he was standing 2 feet away from you. "How are you, how's uni?"

"Going good." You nodded looking at max who still pretend like he was innocent, looking around nodding at random things. "She's looking at me and I know I'm going to pushed in the pool."

"Yes, she will." You chuckled taking Lando's hand, pulling him along. "So, see you all on Friday?" You nodded ready to leave with the ball of sunshine next to you. "You're not going to spend the day with us?" Max asked gesturing to the redbull garage.

"Yeah marketing has a few games for us to play, you don't wanna join." Daniel added. You've known this group for sometime. After growing up alongside Max on the track and being best friends with Daniel, you met Lando who eased into your life and made a cozy spot for himself.

"I'm sorry guys, but me and Lan have things to catch up on." You looked at your boyfriend smiling. "Back at the hote-" "Ew, aren't you two like 5?" Danny shook his head disapprovingly. "We don't don't need to know." Max scrunched his nose in disgust looking away.

"Max I can hear you and that Porsche driver from across the city." You told him in a matter of fact-ly. "Me and Mijn liefje are not loud." He nudged your shoulder chuckling. You and your ball of sunshine eventually made it out of there, running alongside each other to Lando's apartment hand in hand laughing together.

Running into his apartment, you two started undressing as soon as you shut the door, stumbling over your clothes as you made your way to the bedroom. Lando sat on the bed first catching you as soon as you straddled his lap falling on his back as you two began making out.

Laughs and giggles could be heard between you as hands explored each other's bodies. "Did they grow bigger? I feel like they did." He asked gripping your boobs gently. "Says you Mr. Abs, when did you get these?" You giggled pulling away as you look down at his bare stomach, tracing his muscles.

"Do you like them?" He asked holding your waist and pulling you further closer to him. "The look good on you." You nodded leaning down and kissing his jaw and neck. "Makes you look like a young Greek God." You hummed pulling away.

Intertwining your fingers together, you pinned his hands above his head, aligning yourself with him. The boy could only admire you. "Why are you smiling like that?" You chuckled raising an eyebrow. "What I can't smile at my girlfriend any more?" You giggled, leaning down and kissing him softly.

Lando swallowed the moans that came from your mouth, raising his hips out of impatience. He wanted more from you, all of you. "Slow down. We're not in a rush." You mumbled in between kisses, moans slipping from your lips as you finally settled down all the way. "Yeah but, I want you." He whispered back looking into your eyes.

You only chuckled, kissing him gently before sitting up and brushing your hair behind your back, you settled your hands on the boy's chest leaning forward slightly as you started moving. "Oh fuck, baby." Lando moaned holding your hips to guide you ( more like to touch you ). "You're so tight." He grumbled closing his eyes so he could only concentrate on you.

Much to his dismay, his phone started ringing. Leaning back a little, you peak through the door frame. The phone was in the pile of clothes you created earlier, desperately trying to get your attention. "Noo." Lando whined, hugging your waist and puling you back closer, his mouth found your skin where he took the opportunity to kiss and nibble, leaving marks behind.

You could feel him desperately try to thrust up into you, to get some friction. He moaned your name as you gently played with his curls leaning your head on his shoulder. Although Lando was on the average side, he fit you perfectly, and you wouldn't want no other.

"My love." He stuttered catching your lips. You smiled into the kiss, cupping his name as his hug tightened on you. Moving back a little, you laid you on your back with him on top, quickly wrapping your legs around his abdomen so he can continue with his thrusts.

Moans slipped from your lips as soon as he did. "How did I get so lucky?" He mumbled into your neck making you giggle. Lando's hand was trailing all over your body, exploring and admiring your being when he was interrupted once more. That stupid phone ringing again.

"I'll go get it." You mumbled attempting to break free from his hold. "Lando let go." The boy only held on, whining like a lost puppy. You chuckled kissing his head before breaking free and getting the phone. It was Carlos, which surprized. "Hola." You greeted walking back to bed to the impatient McLaren driver. "Y/N? What are you doing here?" . . . Well you were doing his best friend, but you could leave that part out.

"Doing? Me? Nothing important." You joked which made Lando look at you offended. You chuckled silently as you sat on your boyfriend's lap, holding his shoulders. "Well we might as well invite you too, is Lando there?" Carlos asked. You looked down at your boyfriend who was laying on his back looking at you disapprovingly. "No." You replied giggling down at the boy who only rolled his eyes.

"What's that idiot doing?" Carlos chuckled, as you covered said person with your free hand. Lando looked at you confused. He answered his own question as a moan escaped his lungs. "What was that?" Carlos cut you off hearing the noise. "Lando stubbed his toe. You want to talk to him?" "Yes please."

The brunette was shaking his head aggressively as you handed him the phone, you removed your hand from his mouth as you leaning back, moving again. Your boyfriend could only grip onto your thighs as he arranged plans with his friend. You were a pro at staying silent, unlike the stuttering boy beneath you.

His breaths were getting shorter and faster and he was more out of it with Carlos, holding one of your hands desperately. You knew he was close and you let him have it. "H-hey, I'll call you back." Lando cut off, ending the call quickly.

You could feel him begging for release, grunts and groans escaping his mouth. All he could do was take what you gave him. You could only laugh when his hips stuttered. "You- I- no idea." Failing to put a sentence together, you kissed him gently snuggling into him. "I love you." He finally said. "I love you." You returned kissing his cheek.

#‧˚⊹🪴 ଓ :: 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀 ‧₊˚⤾ #lando norris #lando #LN4 #lando norris x reader #lando x reader #ln4 x reader #formula 1 #formula racing #f1 #f1 fanfic #f1 x you #f1 x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x you #lando norris fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 rpf #formula one imagine #formula 1 fanfic #f1 smut #lando smut #lando norris smut

[natailiatulls07]

Haunted house

Oscar Piastri x female!reader

Summary - McLaren are doing a haunted house halloween video and Oscar manages to rope in his girlfriend

Warning - Blood (fake), swearing, chainsaw (fake), clowns, spiders and a mention of the exorcist??

A/n - Another first timer today!! I love Oscar!! 🤍

23 Halloween season

-

When Oscar told me that McLaren were doing a Halloween challenge video for their YouTube channel and had offered Oscar to rope me in, I was excited. Growing up I Ioved Halloween; dressing up, getting free sweets and watching spooky movies, they were just so exciting to me.

Naturally I grew up but yet I still held that love for the holiday. So that’s why I agree and now I’m in the passenger seat of Oscars car on our way to the secret location.

Every so often he was gently rub his thumb across my thigh, we were have a light conversation between ourselves.

Eventually, Oscar pulled in a car park when the McLaren social media team and Lando were stood around just talking and most likely waiting for our arrival. “Ah the couple has arrived!” The Brit was the first to notice us and announce our arrival.

Getting out the car, I was grateful that I decided to wear a large cream wool sweater because the weather felt nippy. “Hey dude!” Oscar and Lando greeted each other with a quick fist bump. It was soon followed by a quick side hug between me and Lando.

-

The McLaren pr manager was quick to fill us in with the details of the video; we all would be going into the haunted house, go through the different sections and then come back out at the end. Simple as that.

At this point though, thats when my nerves kicked in. I started to get anxious but I didn't want to show that emotion, knowing that if I did Oscar would make me not do it.

The team started to film, before Lando and Oscar explaining the video to the viewers. "Hey guys! So today me, Lando and Y/n are going to do this super fun haunted house!" There's sarcasm in his voice when he says 'super fun', which makes both me and Lando laugh together.

Lando manages to compost himself. "There will be multiple different sections to the house, however we don't know what the sections are and what they're like" I look over to the entrance of the house and cringe. "So let's go!"

We all start to walk towards the entrance with the camera man behind us. "Ladies first..." As if insync, Lando and Oscar move to allow me to walk in first which I quickly say thank you to and walk inside despite my nerves.

Once inside, it's pitch black. I can hear distant noises which I cannot describe, foreign noises. A hand goes to grasp mine and I jump at the sudden contact. "It's me, sweetheart" Oscars australian accent comes from behind me in the darkness.

"Oh god...we're two steps in and Oscars already being all lovey dovey" The Brit from what sounds like behind Oscar complains.

"You're such a child!" Oscar moans as to which laugh along with him.

After walking about five steps through the darkness, we come to another door. Making our way through the door, I'm greeted with walls decorated in thousands of tiny orange, blue and green glow in the dark dotes. "Oh this is cute!" I comment but immediately regret my words when a glow in the dark clown starts jumping out on us.

"AH FUCK!" Lando shouts, even though he is the furthest back out of the three of us. The bright clown laughs hideously and starts making his way towards me.

I'm suddenly pull back by my hand, the hand that Oscar has ahold of. Colliding with his chest I feel him quickly moving us past the clown onto the next section.

Just as we made it past the clown, the two of us hear Lando again. "You ain't scary bitch!" There's a pause. "AH Wait fuck, maybe you are!"

Oscar leans his head down, so that his mouth is next to my ear. "Are you okay?" He whispers, and in that moment I feel alone and disconnected from the world with him.

Nodding my head. "Yeah, it was cute and then that fucker came. But yeah I'm okay" I lean up to give him a quick kiss on the lips before looking around at the next section.

There's a bloody operation table, laid on top is a little girl dressed in a long white gown. Her hair long, black and extremely tangled. Around us, looks like an old operating room yet the walls, much like the table, is covered in crimson blood.

You know instantly when Lando has entered because of his uncontrolable reaction. "EW! WTF" I find myself laughing at his childish reaction to the section, Oscar laughs along with me.

Lights start flashing and we all turn to the girl on the table. Noticing how she is now slowly moving up into a sitting up position. "Oh and she lives, just fucking brilliant!" McLarens British driver comments sarcastically.

Once she sits up, her waist turns so she is now facing us. "Help me! Help! He's going to kill me!" Just as she finishes her sentance, we all hear the whirring of a chainsaw behind us as to which we all turn. Coming face to face with a tall and broad man, in his hands there's a chainsaw and much like the rest of the room covered in blood.

He jumps forward, more so my way, causing me to scream out in fright. "I need another body...yours will do" He smiles disturbingly.

“Yeah fuck this, no way are you coming after my girl sir!” This took both me and Lando by surprise as Oscar was never one to react this much openly. He quickly moves us out of the room, Lando still behind us when he says “Yeah that’s right bitch! Back off!” Followed by his high pitch laugh and a high pitch scream, also from Lando.

-

We all collectively make our way through the rest of the haunted house, coming across a spider themed room and a exorcist themed room. As usual, Lando is making little comments and screams the whole way through.

Admittedly on some of the room, either me or Oscar join in Landos terrified comments.

I push through the long bunting across the door way, we come out of the haunted house. A camera team is set up awaiting our post haunted house reactions.

“That was fun!” I comment which earns me a dirty look from Lando, and a laugh from Oscar who has his arms wrapped around my waist.

Both Oscar and Lando are quick to make a outro, wrapping up the video. After talking with the media team and Lando, me and Oscar get back into his car making our way home.

“Thank you for inviting me today baby” I say, looking over at Oscar who is focusing on the road.

“It’s alright, plus I needed someone to put up with Lando so thank you!” Pulling up to a red light, Oscar takes my hand and kisses my knuckles gently.

-

Tag list - @ilovechickenwings @carlossainzwho @ipab @erikasurfer @soph1644

#formula one #formula one x reader #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri x y/n #lando norris #mclaren #mclaren racing #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #f1 2023

[arkhammaid]

— ˚₊‧⁺˖ THE LIGHTNING ON TRACK | THE WAIT FOR THE FIRST RACE

fandom. formula one & mcu

about. the waiting time between pre-season testing and first race is being filled

content warnings. the girls (men) are fighting and y/n gets a reality check

notes. another chat chapter because you guys liked it lol

george russell Welcome, @/oliverbearman and @/ynstark to the main Grid Chat. I will add you to the other ones as well.

daniel ricciardo WELCOME!!! We're so happy to finally have you here

Also, @/kevinmagnussen, welcome back you ass

Don't leave any groupchats again, it's a pain to add you back

george russell Considering I have to do the work, you're not allowed to complain Daniel

lando norris booo, let him have the fun

nico hülkenberg Oh no, it starts again. I'll mute you asshats if you don't stop this

lando norris you're just boring

oliver bearman thank you guys! very happy and honored to be finally part of the big guys 🫣

y/n stark thank you, george! and i'm excited to officially meet you all, until then, hello :)

charles leclerc Hello y/n, welcome to the grid! I hope you'll enjoy your stay here 😉

y/n stark thank you charles, i'm sure i will lol

kevin magnussen I swear I will block you all

daniel ricciardo Don't be like that, you love us

y/n stark lol, he actually hates you guys, won't stop whining kevin magnussen One day, young lady, one day... y/n stark y'all hear sum? charles leclerc Gagged. lando norris charles???

carlos sainz Can you guys just shut up for once, dios mio.

charles leclerc Aww, Carlos, you love us! carlos sainz Debatable. Sometimes I wish you would all crash and not survive to be honest oscar piastri We get it, you're an asshole carlos sainz Fuck off Piastri oscar piastri Right back at you Sainz

lewishamilton welcome to our new rookies! ollie, awesome to see you again, y/n, don't be a stranger, we haven't talked in ages!

y/n stark lew!! we defo have to, gonna hit you up for fashion show for sure, pepper has been planning something pierre gasly Lew 👀 y/n stark look who's here... the tripod.... pierre gasly Yeah yeah, shutting up. Welcome to the grid y/n y/n stark thank you pierre

sergio perez Welcome, rookies.

max verstappen From me a welcome as well!

esteban ocon Welcome, welcome!! This is so exciting, I've been waiting for a long time now 😋😋

lance stroll Estie??? esteban ocon Shht, Lancey, let me cook lance stroll 💀💀💀

lance stroll Anyways, all of them are idiots, as we already know, welcome to hell, y/n

y/n stark aww, thank you lance. so sorry you have to go throught this 🫂 charles leclerc We're not so bad?? lewis hamilton Well. charles leclerc Oh come on Lewis lewis hamilton I didn't say anything

fernando alonso Stark and Bearman! Welcome to the coolest people on the paddock 😎

oliver bearman thanks fernando! y/n stark thanks nando 😎

alexander albon Hi guys, so nice to see you finally in here! @/georgerussell you took your sweet time man

george russell You be Head of the GPDA then. alexander albon No thank you, I'm fine 🙃

logan sargeant Welcome, welcome, happy to see some new faces!

oscar piastri They're finally here. Welcome back Ollie and welcome Y/n to this shit hole

lando norris you know what osc? oscar piastri No, and I don't care. Save the talking for the track lando norris you do know i'm still zak's favorite driver? i could get you fired oscar piastri Please don't. charles leclerc This is what you get for lying in an interview. No groupchat with all of us is ever formal oscar piastri This literally isn't about you Charles charles leclerc Boo, you hater

y/n stark @/kevinmagnussen i see what you've said now...

kevin magnussen Never ever doubt me again, I've been with those fuckers for years now daniel ricciardo Hey!! That's not nice yuki tsunoda you know what else is not nice ricciardo? daniel ricciardo Yuki, drop it. Team orders are team orders yuki tsunoda i don't give a fuck old man, you behave like a bitch you get bitch behavior max verstappen Drop it or else I'll involve Helmut. yuki tsunoda fuck you dan-cocksucker max verstappen Yuki. We don't carry out team issues to the grid. yuki tsunoda he started first and i have proof daniel ricciardo I don't know why you're being so dramatic, it was only testing yuki tsunoda i give you dramatic you fucking asshole. you know what you did and i stand by my statement that this was a total asshole move. just because you got a big smile doesn't mean you're fooling everyone fucking ass george russell I will both kick you out if you don't drop this immediately.

carlos sainz And it starts again...

valterri bottas You're all children. Stop it

y/n stark so pierre was right huh 😀

kevin magnussen I told you so. pierre gasly Why am I getting involved in shit again?

zhou ganyu I apologize for their behavior. Y/n, Oliver, welcome to the grid, I'll be excited to race you both!

kev

are they actually children because wtf did i just witness.

Yeah... I told you drivers are dramatic. Well, most of them and other's are just their victims. Of course we have our moments and friendships but it's a ruthless sport

man tf. literal man children. i'm so glad i have you as a teammate kev. like seriously. i don't know if i could survive with someone like daniel or carlos

the passive agressive vibes <<<<

that's just not it tbh

I have no idea what you just said but I agree. Daniel and Yuki are not good teammates, it was already bad last year and now this.

To be honest, Nico and I often missed stuff like that since we were stuck at Haas and the upper dogs never really showed interest in what we thought or did but everyone knew what happened between them

pls don't tell me they have a clique here... oh my god and i thought the rumors were false

I mean.. not really but also kinda yes? Better drivers stick together since they're always spending time together, you know. No one cares about the ones who're limping behind, well besides Pierre and Esteban, but they're only kinda involved because they're close to Charles and Lance. And Lewis and Fernando aren't really on their level, they keep to themselves

why are men problematic

not you obvs, but like... jeez really felt the love here when we got welcomed

Welcome to F1 kid, it's a shithole

thanks, it's so lovely here

dad?

i think it's worse than we thought

Honey, what are you talking about?

everything. you should see the group chat with the drivers right now. i thought people were joking about f1 drivers being bitter and bitchy towards each other, but there are literally groups and alliances or whatever the fuck is going on there

and if that's only the drivers... i don't want to know how the teams are

Oh.

but also like, what is that going to stop us? we made plans, we know what to do but dear lord are men stupid. well not all but most of them. i literally had to watch how yuki and daniel were fighting because of a team issue in the GROUPCHAT with all drivers

and when max told them to drop it, he got called a dan-cocksucker, can you imagine??

everyone seems to know why they're fighting besides me and ollie, i knew there was tension in alpha tauri but this?? it's a new level of what the fuck is going on here

Are you alright?

i am

just

yk had to tell someone who's not kev since he has been involved in this forever and is used to it. but i still thought

well idk what i thought, maybe i'm just stupid for my wishful thinking

should've known all of this was pr and that most rumors are true. it will make our lives a bit harder

Don't worry, no matter what they throw against us, it's no alien invasion. They're just whiny little men after all and I'm literally Iron Man

i know dad

love you. and thank you

Of course, anything for you

taglist. @lilypadlover , @adorablezhui , @peqch-pie , @keyz-writes , @obsidianjewel, @themercyverse , @lem-hhn , @akiraquote , @kiiyoooo , @nichmeddar , @nothingfuninthislife , @minkyungseokie , @fionaschicken , @lyrasconstellation , @spideybv28 , @keii134 , @starssfall , @tpwkstiles , @fangirl-dot-com , @lady-laura-speaks , @nikfigueiredo , @hinamesgigantica , @brakingboundaries , @almostjollypizza , @yoremins , @raizelchrysanderoctavius , @celesteblack08 , @watermelon-sugars-things , @lighttsoutlewis , @radiantdanvers , @vellicora , @sterredem , @hiireadstuff , @jolixtreesunn , @mypage-myfandoms , @nelly187 @greeneyesandsunshine , @fulla02 , @welovediaaxx , @whyamireadingthis , @67-angelofthelordme-67 , @blueberry64857959 , @winchesterwife27 , @six-call , @skywalker1dream , @mellowarcadefun , @cherry-piee , @peterholland04 , @motorsportloverf1 , @renarots , @msbyjackal , @woozart , @leclucklerc , @yl90 , @thebook-bitch

crossed off tags mean i can't tag you!

DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THE SERIES TAGLIST? please leave a comment on this post or send a non anonymous ask!

ARKHAM MAID 2024

#f1 smau #f1 x reader #f1 x female reader #f1 female driver #fem!driver #female driver #tony stark x reader #kevin magnussen x reader #charles leclerc x reader #lewis hamilton x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 scenario #— ˚₊‧⁺˖ creations

[leclerc-s]

track 002. la del insta

─── ❝ todo comienza y se termina ❞ ───

masterlist // previous // next

NOVEMBER 2022

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1, isabellaperez and others

redbullracing i have been told that my previous caption was not appropriate, so here's a boring pr one scripted by salty spice himself, daniel ricciardo returns to red bull as our reserve driver. it's wonderful to have you back daniel.

view all comments

📍isabellaperez alternate caption was the honey badger is back mother fuckers!! read it and weep!!

user43 i love red bull's admin and their chaos. wonder where christian horner found them.

↳ redbullracing he found me on the streets of monaco and picked me up by the scruff of my neck and told me he had a job for me. who was i to deny salty spice?

↳ danielricciardo you would love her less if you had to see her everday.

↳ maxverstappen1 at least you got a break for a while, i've been suffering for four years

↳ estebanocon you two have it easy, i've been suffering since 2016.

↳ schecoperez i've been told to say that i've been suffering for 19 years.

↳ isabellaperez fuck you guys (except tio checo. i love you)

↳ alexalbon don't worry isa, you're my favorite red bull admin

↳ isabellaperez thank you lily's boyfriend! you're my favorite williams driver!

user07 red bull admin is checo's niece?? plot twist. honestly though, i love her.

christianhorner this is not the caption we talked about isabella.

↳ redbullracing i would say sorry but we both know it's going to happen again. it's been happening for over 4 years.

user92 she's been apart of the team longer than checo? it's kind of iconic. but why red bull and not aston martin when checo was racing with them at the time?

↳ isabellaperez aston martin didn't have a position open and red bull did. it also allowed me to travel with my uncle which i've been doing since 2011, i was only going to stop because the fia demanded it due to covid.

user59 so do you live in monaco or mexico with checo?

↳ isabellaperez used to live in LA but the influencer life was not for me (check out my youtube channel) then i was convinced by my sister and arthur to move to monaco. i travel to mexico all the time, i have to see my mami of course!

BAHRAIN 2023

the youngest mclaren driver stood off to the side, nervous for his first ever formula one grand prix. his teammate seemed less nervous, but still nervous to a certain degree. oscar truly didn't want to fuck this up, not after everything that happened in the last 6 months for him. he noticed a brunette girl staring at him from across the pitlane, she gave him a small wave before turning to go back inside the redbull garage.

the younger brunette turned to look at the slightly older one, "who was that?"

the older one turned to look at him, “you don’t stand a chance. she's checo's niece, very overprotective that man is. not excluding you know, max and daniel. take it from me, i've tried.” 

“i asked who she was not if you tried to get her number.” 

“oh, i have her number, but i have a girlfriend, you pastry. matter of fact," lando said, "you have her number too."

“it’s piastri! you know this!” oscar shouted as lando skipped, literally skipped, away from him. oscar rolled his eyes at the older drivers actions before turning to go back inside the mclaren garage.

the brunette girl stood outside the redbull garage again, with daniel ricciardo at her side. she turned to look at the empty spot oscar had once been in, then back at daniel, “can't believe i still think he's cute. he's the enemy.” 

daniel laughed, "he's not the enemy isa. you're allowed to have a crush on someone." 

isabella rolled her eyes, running a hand through her hair, “i hope him the best at shit-claren.” 

“isa!” 

the girl laughed, “it’s true!” 

redbullracing posted a new story

alexa, play the boys are back from hsm2!!! welcome home honey badger!! we've missed you!! (salty spice told me no more cursing on official red bull posts)

liked by austinriley, maejones, redbullracing and others

isabellaperez we're back people!! bahrain 2023, praying for a better result than last year. please f1 gods, don’t give us a double dnf. (but at least ferrari had a 1-2!)

tagged: redbullracing

view all comments

danieljricciardo i know you aren’t liking your posts from the official redbull racing account

↳ isabellaperez what good is it running the red bull account if i can’t like my own posts?

user82 paddock princess is back people!!

↳ isabellaperez am i royalty like charles? people’s prince and poddack princess?

↳ charles_leclerc you wish you were as cool as me

↳ isabellaperez at least i don’t wear questionable pants.

↳ georgerussell63 she got you there buddy

user75 isabella running the red bull racing account but still being a tifosi will always be hilarious to me

↳ isabellaperez corporate espionage at it's finest (i'm kidding christian, please don't fire me)

logansargeant is it considered treason if i follow you?

↳ isabellaperez idk let’s ask alex_albon, is it treason?

↳ alex_albon he’s in the groupchat? how is this treason?

↳ logansargeant good to know

logansargeant and oscarpiastri started following you

redbullracing posted a new story!

1-2 in bahrain! what a way to begin the season! congrats maxverstappen1 and schecoperez (i’ve been told by helmut that i need to be more ‘professional’ whatever that means)

duckling to get over my crush on oscar i’ve decided to ask arthur for ollie’s number.

super max oh for fucks sake, don’t do that

duckling maybe i should text austin then.

honey badger DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!

honey badger i will fucking confiscate your phone isabella estrella perez

duckling i don’t have a middle name. my sister does, it’s maria. honey badger i could not give less of a fuck. don’t you dare do such a thing.

super max I WILL CALL SEBASTIAN ISABELLA PEREZ!!

duckling don't threaten me with sebastian, max! that will do nothing!

super max added one person

honey badger had changed the group name to 'redbull's four musketeers'

paddock dad do i want to know?

super max ISABELLA WANTS TO TALK TO AUSTIN! TELL HER IT'S A BAD IDEA! duckling fuck you, you stupid maxi-pad

paddock dad isa, why would you do that?

honey badger SHE HAS A CRUSH ON OSCAR AND IS AFRAID OF LOVE! duckling i am not afraid of love. i’m afraid of falling in love, two very different things daniel super max yet another thing austin ruined for you. love along with getting a pet. paddock dad how the hell did he ruin getting a pet for her? honey badger honestly don’t remember but i think it was something along the lines of how his cousin had one and it got killed by a car. duckling i still want a dog he didn’t completely ruin that. paddock dad never let a man ruin anything for you or so my wife says

super max you might want to mute this chat seb, it was created to help isabella over any and all problems, small or big.

duckling okay fuck you verstappen

super max no thanks. i have a girlfriend. honey badger we're aware. we've heard nonsense super max do you really want to go there ricciardo? your wife wrote a song about only buying a dress so you could take it off honey badger DO YOU LIKE MAKING HER EYES ROLL VERSTAPPEN? DO YOU?

isabella had been so focused on her phone and texting back the others that she didn’t notice the person coming at her. she crashed into the person and her phone fell to the floor, landing with a loud crack. at least the crack sounded loud to her, but not louder than the ‘mierda’ she let out. she bent down to pick up her phone and so did the person she had bumped into, both reached for her phone, bumping heads.

“fuck,” isabella softly whispered, “you have a hard head,” she told the other person as she rubbed her head.

the person laughed, “guess that’s a good thing for an f1 driver.”

isabella’s eyes slightly widened when she realized who she had bumped into. she would recognize an australian accent anywhere, she had grown up near daniel ricciardo. oscar piastri was too busy inspecting her phone for any cracks to notice the expression she had made. he handed her the phone as both stood to their full heights, he was noticeably taller than her.

"no cracks," oscar told her as he handed back her phone. she smiled politely at him, "thanks."

"and your friends are blowing up your phone. i think you had like 10 messages come in while i was checking to see if it had any cracks. not that i read them-"

isabella waved him off, "it's just max and danny, they were arguing about who had the horniest songs written about them."

oscar laughed, "i'm oscar piastri."

"i know, i'm isabella perez" she replied, "i saw your alpine tweet, plus arthur talks about you a lot."

"i know," oscar replied, "arthur leclerc? you two know each other?" he questioned as they began walking together. isabella didn't know where he had originally been heading but now the two were walking back to their hotels.

"he's dating my sister, dulce? you might know her."

"oh, you're isa. i always wondered why they called you isa and not bella."

"because i will stab anyone who calls me bella," isabella emptily threatened. too enthralled on her phone she failed to notice the small smile on oscar's face.

"okay, bella."

isabella quickly looked up, glaring at him, "i'm glad you dnf'd."

"ouch," oscar dramatically muttered, "you wound me bella."

the two were interrupted by a voice shouting for oscar. they turned around and were met with the sight of alex albon and logan sargeant, both williams drivers also walking back to their hotel.

"alabono!" isabella shouted, rushing to hug the bleached-blonde. the taller driver opened his arms and accepted the hug, "hi, isa. did you have a good day?"

"no, charles dnf'd, so the ferrari in me is crying. however, the redbull in me is screaming for joy."

before alex could reply a ding interrupted him and caused isabella to look down at her phone. her eyes widened, and she handed her phone over to alex, "can you give this to max or danny later? i'm catching a flight on air-max later tomorrow."

alex nodded, "see you in glendale. or sooner."

"bye alex, bye logan, bye piastri!" isabella shouted as she ran off. logan looked confused between isabella's phone and alex, "why'd she give you her phone?"

the phone dinged again and alex sighed as he switched the phone to silent, "it's quite the story, one that either isa or dulce should tell you, not me."

"okay," logan said, he turned to oscar, "why'd she call you piastri?"

"oh, i called her bella," oscar replied, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. alex's eyes widned and logan knew their was a story there but he didn't pry. he wasn't close to any of the other drivers besides oscar, so he wasn't going to ask. he could be nosy sometimes but even he knew his limits. alex didn't want to talk about isabella's phone so maybe the phone had something to do with calling her bella.

"surprised you're still standing," alex said, "last time someone called her bella she kicked him in the nuts, and they had just met. he stopped calling her bella after that."

the two rookies exchanged looks as alex pocketed isabella's phone and pulled out his own phone and began to type furiously on it. logan's phone dinged moment's later but he ignored it, not wanting to make oscar suspicious. however, when his phone kept dinging oscar turned to him curiously and logan waved him off, silencing his phone.

"just friends from home, they were planing a party," logan quickly lied. oscar shrugged him off and logan was quick to divert the conversation to a random topic.

alex albon OSCAR CALLED HER BELLA AND HE'S STILL STANDING. NO BALLS WERE KICKED!!!!

dulce perez HE WHAT? BUT SHE HASN'T LET ANYONE CALL HER THAT FOR YEARS! EVEN AUSTIN WASN'T ALLOWED TO CALL HER BELLA

daniel riccardo THIS IS BIG NEWS PEOPLE!

lewis hamilton will you people shut up? some of us have an early flight to catch tomorrow.

fernando alonso mute them, i usually do that until the next morning. lewis hamilton i should start doing that

daniel ricciardo CARLOS DROP EVERYTHING NOW!!!

bailey winters MEET ME IN THE POURING RAIN! daniel ricciardo NOT THE TIME BAILEY! bailey winters IT IS ALWAYS THE TIME FOR DAPHNE JONES SONGS!

carlos sainz what happened? what did i miss?

arthur leclerc that's not fair, i've known her for years and i still get punched on the arm when i call her bella

dulce perez that’s because it’s usually “this is the skin of a killer bella” lando norris to be fair it’s a great line, and robert pattinson is great. team edward all the way daphne jones for legal reasons, team jacob natalia ruiz shall i tell suki lando’s in love with her boyfriend? lando norris CAN I MEET HIM? TELL ME I CAN!!

carlos sainz QUE ESTÁ PASANDO?! SOMEONE EXPLAIN!!

logan sargeant what’s the big deal with him calling her bella? it’s her name, no?

carlos sainz QUE? HE CALLED HER WHAT? dulce perez the only people allowed to call her bella was our dad, tio checo too, but ever since dad passed she hasn’t let anyone call her that. she says it was his name and only his. arthur leclerc her ex tried calling her bella and she kicked him in the nuts when they first met. he still did it every time he was angry at her. charles leclerc which was everyday and she always cried because only her dad was allowed to call her that. logan sargeant so the ex was an asshole? max verstappen biggest understatement of the year.

logan sargeant and that’s why she gave her phone to alex earlier.

mick schumacher HE TEXTED? AGAIN? I WOULD STRANGLE HIM IF I WOULDN'T LAND IN JAIL

daniel ricciardo i’m going to punch that guy. take a hint dude.

logan sargeant why don’t you guys just block him?

dulce perez oh why didn’t we try that? WE DID THAT YOU AMERICAN!

natalia ruiz seb said we needed to teach her to not reach out to him on her own. we're starting with confiscating her phone anytime he texts her and we give it to her the next day. it was hard to get where we are now, trust me. she used to fight us on it but now she just hands her phone over.

mae jones we're not quite sure what the next step is but we're making progress. maybe we can get her to block him on her own.

george russell so what exactly is the next step in operation osbella? obella? iscar? what's the official name?

fernando alonso how about 'all of you need to stop being invested in isabella's love life and go the hell to sleep?"

lando norris yes papa nando. fernando alonso that's going to stick isn't it? max verstappen absolutely lando norris 100 percent daniel ricciardo already making t-shirts lance stroll papa nando, papa seb, and uncle lewis mae jones good luck explaining that one to isa and oscar in the other groupchat.

¡leclerc-s speaks! it's austin gp weekend! (i live in california) anyways hope you enjoyed this one before quali today or after. expect more posts this weeked, maybe? i'm not sure yet.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

#leclerc-s #the honest series #oscar piastri #formula 1 #oscar piastri x female oc #formula 1 fic #fanfic #fanfiction #f1 #f1 smau #f1 social media au #f1 instagram au #f1 fic

[endwithajadestrick]

Who Is Fucking In Star Wars? A Non-Comprehensive List

So in honor(?) of the DDoS attack on Ao3 preventing us all from mainlining slash fic, I've decided to go horny on main and list off my opinion about 3 traits of all Star Wars characters. Our beloved Galaxy Far Far Away is a usually (tragically) chaste place, which may lead us to ponder about our faves:

Do they even know what sex is?

Have they ever actually HAD sex?

Are they any good at it?

We will not be including characters who are minors in this list. Obviously. Judgements are based somewhat on the lore, but really more on vibes. Perhaps it goes without saying, this will be lightly NSFW.

This is probably gonna take a while and stop feeling like a good idea halfway through. Which of your exes does that describe? Let's Go!!!

Starting with the big three:

Han Solo

Always begin with an easy one.

Does he even know what sex is? Yes, unlike a surprising number of people in this galaxy, Han knows how to do the do.

Has he ever had sex before? Sure (but not as often as he wants you to think). Do you, uh . . . maybe wanna get out of here and come back to his ship? She's called the Millenium Falcon.

Is he good at sex? Look. It's not going to be good the first time. He's gonna keep insisting that he "knows what he's doing," but you wish he would just let you explain what you like. He needs to be girlbossed around a little bit. And it is mostly girls for him, though the occasional guy and non-binary being has mounted that loading ramp too. His bedroom does smell kind of funny.

Luke Skywalker

This one may be controversial for some people.

Does he know what sex is? Nope. Farm boy didn't go to schmool. Skool? Am I saying that right? There were no copies of Our Bodies, Our Selves lying around the rebellion base, and you better believe the Sacred Jedi Texts did not include some kind of version of the Kama Sutra. Han wasn't gonna draw him a diagram either; that would be too embarrassing. This man is not learned in the pleasures of the flesh.

Has he ever had sex? Also no. He got into some light over-the-clothes action with Biggs Darklighter when they were teens, but nothing ever went any farther than that.

Is he good at sex? I'm sure a real earnest effort would be made, but we'll never know, will we. Because he DOES NOT KNOW what sex is.

Princess/General Leia Organa

Does she even know what sex is? Oh, absolutely. This woman was treated to an actual formal education. She probably even got a nice, progressive version of SexEd that talked about pleasure and consent and not just all the weird diseases you could get--assuming the Empire didn't nix that sort of thing on Alderaan, which, honestly, they might have.

Has she ever had sex? Of course. And despite being a princess, she's not that precious about courtship either. Casual flings are totally fine and normal.

Is she good at sex? Leia is mature but, like her hairstyles, can be a little tightly wound. Once you get over any initial awkwardness, though, it's sure to be a fun flirty time.

And this is Star Wars, so sooner or later we have to address--

Chewbacca

--the aliens of it all. Welcome, monster fuckers! It's not even weird in this universe!

Does he know what sex is? Chewy is canonically 234 years old as of TLJ, so I'm going to give this a definite yes. Also, he hangs out with Han Solo and all the doors in this universe appear to be panel-controlled. There are no door knobs to stick a sock on; he's SEEN some things.

Has he ever had sex? Again, 234 years old, and Chewy has never seemed like a wallflower. This is also a yes.

Is he good at it? Maz Kanata seems to think so? I don't pretend I have the predilections/imagination to get the appeal (though I honor those that do), but I'm gonna take a swing and say, yes, Chewbacca is a good lover. Solid stamina, surprisingly tender after-care.

Lando Calrissian

Does he know what sex is? Yes, and not just on a mechanical level. If anyone in this universe HAS read the Space Kama Sutra, it's Lando.

Has he ever had sex? He has. And he doesn't keep a list of all his past sexual partners because that would be cras. But he COULD tell you about each of them, names, dates, locations. But he won't. But he could.

Is he good at it? Surprisingly, yes! He may come across as a guy who is all talk, but Lando is an artist at heart and the democratically elected President of Consent. He has mood lighting set up and a tastefully curated playlist. The atmosphere is fun, the oral is enthusiastic. When you're done--wow!--there's a mini bar right near the bed. And would you like to borrow a silk robe?

Your magical evening will not prevent him from cheating you at cards later, though.

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Does he know what sex is? No. He learned once, but has since memory-holed the information. Otherwise he might accidentally experience some pleasure from the stick up his bum.

Has he ever had sex? Many beings have made valiant efforts to claim this beautiful man as a conquest. All have failed, but there was much exquisite yearning along the way.

Is he good at it? Hypothetically? Alas, my heart wants to say yes, but my head says no.

Padmé Amidala

Does she know what sex is? Look at this dress. This dress is a CHOICE, a ruthless tactical decision made by someone who definitely knows what sex is.

Has she ever had sex? Yes, but her taste in men--oh, honey.

Is she good at it? A pillow princess if there ever was one. You will be doing all the work.

Anakin Skywalker

Does he know what sex is? No.

Has he ever had sex? Yes.

Is he good at it? . . . and I know those answers seem contradictory, but it's true. This is a man who has had normal, consensual adult sex. However, baby boy's brain is full of more holes than a colander. He is dummy thick actually in the head region. He is incapable of retaining complex thoughts such as the nuances of sexuality.

That said, he is a creature of pure instinct and, like, yeah, the lovemaking is pretty hot.

Mace Windu

Does he know what sex is? Yes.

Has he ever had sex? No.

Is he good at it? If it ever happened, which it won't? No, and Mace is possibly the only Sammy J character for whom this holds true. It would be strictly procreative missionary. No fun allowed.

Yoda

Does he know what sex is? Yes, he is aware. Knowledge is this little frog man's burden; Yoda is too in touch with the Force, the life energy of the universe, not to know. He WOULD not know if he could, but he has had to settle for just ignoring the information.

Has he ever had sex? You know I am genuinely stumped on this one. On one hand, he is the perfect ascetic Jedi sage. On the other hand, a nine hundred year lifespan is a long time . . . anything could have happened to this lilliputian enigma.

Is he good at it? Size matters not.

The Mandalorian

Yeah I know his name is "Din Djarin." Shush.

Does he know what sex is? I'm pretty sure this guy thinks that babies are found, not made. He does not know what sex is.

Has he ever had sex? I don't care what season one implied about Mando and that toothsome twi'lek, it's never happened. The helmet doesn't come off and the trousers don't drop.

Is he good at it? And here's the tragedy of it all, right? Because we know that underneath that impenetrable layer of beskar lies such a man. I don't even care if he's an ace, as seems plausible. Just the chance to look him in the eye would mean worlds.

Finn

Does he know what sex is? Negative, Ghost Rider. It's not something the First Order teaches their child soldiers, and the Resistance, like the rebellion of old, has bigger fish to fry. Poe wants to explain it to him, but feels like he has a dog in that race and it wouldn't be right.

Has he ever had sex? Men, women, and other beings are lining up around the corner for a shot at this man, but he only has eyes for one woman, and she in turn may be legitimately the only person in the galaxy who does not pine for him. Hang in there, Finn! Maybe one day she'll become emotionally available.

Is he good at it? While we have seen Finn makes some selfish moves along his journey--mainly because of, y'know, all the trauma--he has done a lot of growing and is an essentially generous spirit. This gets a yes.

Rey Skywalker

Does she know what sex is? Not in either The Force Awakens or The Last Jedi, but before Rise of Skywalker Leia explained it to her. She's the future of the Jedi after all, and this is basic stuff, goddammit Luke!

Has she ever had sex? Hmm, what's that? Sorry, she's super busy right now with, like, destiny and stuff.

Is she good at it? Rey seems to pick most things up fairly quickly, so you have to imagine that would hold true for l'amour as well, except that she'll also be a bit of a try-hard. Do less, sweety. Really, it's fine.

Lightning Round

Asajj Ventress

Yes, yes, and it depends on the answer to one question: do you enjoy pain?

L3-37

It Works.

Cinta Kaz

Yes, yes, and not just good but so good it will politically radicalize you.

Karis Nemik

No, which is a shame because you know that he would have made sex-positive feminism and queer theory a huge part of his manifesto.

Count Dooku

Gay, and pulled legendary numbers of exquisite vintage ass across the galaxy. It's the real reason Sidious traded him in for simple, pussy-whipped Anakin. He just couldn't take it anymore.

Luthen Rael

Hope you like role-play.

Armitage Hux

Yes, it's true; this man has no dick.

Qi'ra

Yes, yes, and good but maybe in a dangerous way? Like drugs, it's possible that you--maybe even most people--could have a healthy, well-adjusted relationship to it. But there's a chance also that it will alter your brain chemistry, fundamentally shift your priorities, and ruin your life. The only way for sure to be safe is not to try it, not even once!

The Bendu

The One in the Middle. So in this case, would that be, like, the taint?

Reva Sevander

I mean, do you like it freaky? How freaky do you like it? There are levels to this sort of thing, and you, through no fault of your own, may not be ready for this ride.

Cassian Andor

Cassian Andor fucks.

The Armorer

I tried to get a read on this one, and all I picked up was radio static. We'll never know. We'll just never know.

Rose Tico

Rose appears naive at first, but she's actually quite worldly and will rock yours.

Bo-Katan Kryze

I daresay more than 2% of us want her to sit on our face. Ms. Sackoff was really lowballing it. Bo does not know what sex is, however, and is rarely in listening-mode, so that's a hurdle we'll have to overcome.

But it's more than 2%.

Poe Dameron

Yes, yes, and does it even matter? It would be an honor just to be considered, sir.

Hera Syndulla

Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets. Apparently what Lola wants is an inexperienced, sexually repressed Jedi hotty. In this way, she is the true queen of Star Wars fandom. Captain our ship, Hera!

And Finally:

Kylo Ren

I do not understand the hold this man has on some of you--which is fine; you don't need me to understand it. He does not know what sex is, he is so horny and angry all the time. And sure, maybe you CAN fix him by completing his education. Blessings, angels. Live your fantasy.

Just promise me you'll use protection? And I don't mean a condom, I mean body armor.

#star wars #luke skywalker #anakin skywalker #the mandalorian #han solo #leia organa #padme amidala #obi wan kenobi #din djarin #kylo ren #rey skywalker #star wars finn #cassian andor #yoda #mace windu #the armorer #bo katan kryze #cinta kaz #reva sevander #hera syndulla #the bendu #qi'ra #lando calrissian #chewbacca #l3 37 #rose tico #armitage hux #luthen rael #count dooku #karis nemik

[f0point5]

This may be completely left of field so don't answer this if you don't want to, but I'm pissed off and need to get this off my chest. Im sick of this f1 community and there "activism". Ive gotta give some context to what im going on about, this is regarding f1 fans and their continued belief that they are right and the drivers should be so left winged and hippie esque people.

Firstly regarding lewis and his OG insta story about the Palestine/isreal war, from my view point that wasn't taking sides that was asking for a ceasefire and peace FOR ALL. All these f1 fans and lewis fans think he's some amazing top tier moral belief guy, but he still hangs out and according to them dating some Brazilian model who has and continues to post pro isreal content, supposedly going agaisnt boy/friend lewis' moral beliefs as according to his fans. So if he's so morals based and is stance on his pro Palestine side according again to his fans who'll read anything the way they want for it to be portrayed why is he associated with her? Maybe because he's not as pro Palestine as these people think or maybe he's neutral but knew people would "rely on him" 🙄 to be the "political humanitarian" driver 🙄 nothing wrong with using your platform for the better but stop with God esque stature.

Side bar lewis' friend Shaun White settled a law suit with a alleged victim over sexual harassment claims in 2018... no one talks about that huh? Bit high horse there huh lewis. Friends with a dude who settled a lawsuit and even admitted of doing some of the alleged wrongdoings but talking high and mighty about the Christian Horner situation.

And this leads me to where my real pissed off postion comes from, lando getting ripped to shreds on tikotk for having a Starbucks drink. God forbid. "Starbucks supports a genocide" "boycott starbucks" okay but why in my town are they still packed to the rafters at each location? God forbid the man gets a drink. Honestly. These fucking fans will call out everything becuase they are in the right in everything they believe but not for one minute think about peace or just not bringing politics into everything, I've been told to shut the fuck up when I mention some genuine Antisemitism rooted hatred against lance and told I'm reaching and a Zionist bitch but these fuckers are so quick to call out lando for a fucking drink. Sometimes maybe these drivers just don't give a fuck or maybe they have personal political opinions that don't align with yours so stop thinking your in the right about every God damn thing. Lando can drink whatever the fuck he wants, the teams can have puma as there sponser, it's not that fucking deep. You wanna call out drivers for there comments on the CH issue, call out lewis for being friends with a dude just like that!!!! If you wanna say that's the standard for men than fuck me I'd rather die.

Yeah, all this.

Rip lando and his Starbucks because newsflash maybe the guy is not chronically online and doesn’t know about the Twitter mob boycott…or he just doesn’t care about his two Aussie dollars going against the Twitter mob boycott.

The witch-hunt really does make me laugh. When you realise that morality is arbitrary, it becomes borderline scary how we now encourage shaming and bullying people who don’t agree with the accepted wisdom. It’s so…1600s.

Literally just…you’re right. You’re 100% right.

[imzsuzsis-blog]

"I'm fucking gay" I said to myself sometimes louder, sometimes quietly, unfortunately I think several people heard the loud part because they were looking at me, especially Danny was running after me. "Lando, are you grumpy for saying that? Because everyone hears it.” "I am, and when we broke up I was even grumpier, leave me alone, if you want me to, I'm still pregnant with twins from Ollie." Ollie Bearman? What the hell have you been doing?” Danny stopped me from speaking, then tears appeared on my face and I ran away crying. ,,Lokiii where are you????? I want to go back to the fucking fucking hotel!!!!! I can not stand!!!!" I started hitting his chest shaking and throwing up again. "Relax Lando, there are only free training sessions with a break between them." ,, BELIEVE I'M NOT EXCITED I WANT TO GO BACK THERE I HATE IT HERE FUCK ME!!!!" "Deep air says I can do it in myself." "I can do it, I believe in myself, even if I carry two beans Jankó." "MR Norris, we need to talk about beans after training." "No, and I will not have an abortion, this is the final decision, sir." "If he plays for the suspension, then the game has begun." "I'm afraid, Loki, they're not only idiots, they're also strict and they give diets that are impossible or borderline impossible to follow, on top of that they constantly measure our weight and check how much we exercise every day, it's no longer sick, it's fucking pathological."

I leaned against the wall with tears in my eyes and could only scream at the top of my lungs. Leave it!!!! I won't get into that fucking car if they force me to do so at gunpoint." "Well, come in." "Will, Jon, no, these fuckers up there don't even know what I want or what I feel, so no, I'm going to have someone else take my place today and this year." "Leave him for real." "Dude, what will happen to me? We had such a good time together, but what about the photography?" "I'll take photos of the little ones or I don't know if we move to the new place, but the fact that I won't stay in Monaco is fixed." "Do you want to move?" "Yes, everyone has been obsessed with me for a long time, when they see a girl next to me, the tabloids say she's my new girl, when I fuck the boys I loved it, I hate being there." "We understand. Where?" Burying my face in my hands, I started to cry even more and shook my head. "I don't have the faintest idea where America might come into question, I don't know, New York especially Upper, Miami, Los Angeles, but back to England and Bristol and its surroundings or London, I don't have an idea yet, but it's far from there and from the people there."

The news made my fucking blood run cold, I went to see Lando through the journalists because he just said all this in public. ,,A thousand apologies... Fuck you Lando, you said everything openly, even what you shouldn't have!!!! Now you're going to be all over the headlines because of your breakout!!!! "Osc, who excites the bitch, fuck them, they need to know what a fucking little world Formula 1 is and what a fucking little puppet we are for them that they can play with as they please and like, they can suck my dick." We didn't even pay attention, but all the cameras took us and everyone took pictures of us, and even Lando gave them the fucking horse. ,,This is serious? You know you can't say." "Yes, fuck me, just like I'm tired of shit, I'm not acting anymore here, if that's what I want, I'll go to a fucking casting and I don't care how many weeks I am, I'll do it if I get in, okay, but no, as a child, if you didn't know, I was a child actor . Stupid child and I would choose this place over the shitty place right now. Get it.” I ran after him and slapped him. "You know, I was also a child actor, but now it's not about that, it's about what you said shouldn't have happened."

"Child actor, Child actor" I muttered to myself and looked for a cigarette in my back pocket, and for my lip ink, "mhhh Benefit is expensive but... How seriously did you take Oscar from me and throw it away?" Your good fucking mother!!!!!!” I took it out and imitated a fake kick in the ass, and he showed me how the hell you put on makeup if you can't see it. "Because if only you knew that I've been doing this since I was fourteen." ,,Landooooo fuck fourteen???? Are you screwed???? Good tests, huh?” I showed him it was full of liquid flavoring, it was undrinkable and the color was strange, it didn't smell like anything, but it did have a sparkle. "Liquid highliter and put it down, it flows very well." ,,This? It has bristles, but it's also cool." ,,That mascara and eyebrow gel, put my fucking make-up stuff down Osc this is fucking not funny!!!!! That's my contour stick, my foundation, concealer, bronzer, that's my fucking blush, that's my eyeshadow palette, and put it all down. Damn" "Good, okay..." I left Lando, who was just putting some cream on himself. "MR Piastri, where is his teammate?" "I don't know, I think he's already gone with him boyfriend, he has a date today, he said he went there, sir, I can't give him an interview, I'm sorry." I ran back panting with messy hair. ,,What's wrong?" "Fuck the fucking gossip press and they're asking about you." We looked outside and a good number of people gathered, none of us dared to go outside when ten minutes later we heard a knock. "I'm Loki, may I come in?" ,.Of course it is." "This is a fucking crowd, what the hell happened?" "I don't know either, except that some asshole asked me where Lando was, and I lied and saved the best and said that he was on a date with his friend, so I thought he wasn't here anymore." "Oscar, you bastard, we're going down because of you, everyone will know that me and Lando are a couple!!!" "Good, but I didn't tell you he was pregnant." "You wordy bastard Australian, can't you be like that?" "Get me, I'm confessing to them, you scumbags" I ran out angrily, slammed the door behind me and instead did everything against myself, kept my mouth shut, "I'm telling you he's on a date with his partner, leave him alone and on top of that, Lando Norris is gay, so he's not with a girl if they ask you idiots !!!!!” I looked in my phone and all the gossip sites were full of me, "Formula 1 driver Lando Norris is gay." I ran after Oscar, but I didn't really see spit anywhere, "Kill Oscar Piastri, you're bisexual or stupid!!!!" I felt Loki's palm on my back, bit my lip and killed him, "Fucking big scandal and it started as I predicted." "Yes, but I think we should go because I have a reservation at the restaurant at nine in the evening."

#lando norris #fanfic #gayboy #f1 #f1 fanfic #loki #osc #lgbtq #transgender #intersex #landoscar #SoundCloud

[scenetocause]

SHIP OPINION or something adjacent to it… when you rotate alex albon in your head who comes to mind? have you ever vibed with chalex? i luv their little flirty giggly thing like maybe it’s not DEEP but they bring each other little bits of joy. if you happen to have thoughts i would like to hear them!

alex is so incredibly polycule coded in my head. whether it's girlfriend swapping with george or the classic milky way situation with george and lando (thank you ao3 user sirius for my LIFE)

i sort of never think of charles for some reason except when i need someone to do depraved things with carlos. BUT chalex is very important. charles likes alex soooooo much it's really embarrassing and he was all over it when they were streaming in lockdown but he still does it now. like seeing alex is the most exciting thing possible and you know what, he's right.

charles, who's all, y'know. charles. il predestinato, the pain of being the one true ferrari driver, painted scarlet in agony and just as much in victory. charles is in awe of alex. clearly alex has a hell of a presence because like, lando was a little alex fanboy too and george likes alex a ridiculous amount but alex is god to charles in a way no one seemed to be. when he first arrived in f1, especially when he get to ferrari, he wasn't reverential to lewis and sebastian he just wanted to beat them. his attitude to alex, though, is worshipful. charles needs alex to like him even more than he needs every other human being on earth to love him, which is a lot. charles' thing for alex is irrational, unreasonable, a crush on a deep level that alex is a safe person to have it on because he'll brush it away and not feed on it. charles loves alex like someone in thrall to the supernatural and alex makes him a cup of tea or something and asks how the piano's going.

i don't think i can actually write any chalex so here's an old ultra-deep-cut actual fic of some alex/george/lando that got deleted a few years back. warning: features double penetration, background carlando, probably loads of errors cus it was the writing on my phone era after le grand concussion.

The little fucker is glowing. George knows he looks good, Alex obviously looks great but Lando is like a blushing bride, lit up and joyful and uninhibited in showing it. It's the same way he's always been, even when it used to be for just them.

It doesn't require genius detective work to know who's sparking Lando up now. George and Alex had never exactly broken up with Lando but they'd consciously made space around him for whatever was going on with Carlos. They were there when he reached out, never far but far enough to let Lando decide what he wanted. 

And that had made them a bit less three and more two-and-one, which had always seemed almost inevitable but frustrated George. If they could solve the geometry of their triangle through some magical thinking, anything would be possible, surely? 

But Lando is glowing like he's been lavished with attention, cackly laughter barely contained and with the sort of flush George knows isn't only post-coital but also anticipatory, bubbling with the affection Lando needs to want to go there. It makes him proud - and jealous. 

He nudges Alex's knee with his own, gestures with a subtle movement of his thumb and appreciates Alex's eye roll. In between the tests, Alex will tell him he's an idiot. He'll push George into his own bedsheets and fuck him until George can't think about missing when there was three, only the join of two and George is grateful, so much but Alex must equally know he needs this jealous moment. A last gasp at possession, an acknowledgement of the loss. 

Lando, small and annoying goblin that he is, had been a warm weight between them - vulnerability by proxy when neither of them could show it yet, eager to get fucked and cuddled and say the things that scared the shit out of them all, quietly, cradled between Alex and George after. Fears about their careers and lives and love that would've been too stark, said by anyone actually capable of articulating them. 

But they're not rookies at this anymore. Alex has held him, crying and cum-stained and vice versa and the crutch Lando's inherent wobbliness had excused them had turned into proper support. At which point, George had to admit he just really missed kissing the little git. 

He pokes Alex's thigh again, expecting another eye-roll but instead gets a micro-second of a hand covering his before Alex is obnoxiously manspreading, rubbing his knees against both George and Lando's and when the orange-clad body on the end looks round, his face and the glow in it is all for them. 

-----

"I've missed you wankers." Lando swearing, unless it's with his hands clenched in sheets and hair messily crushed into a pillow, soaked in sweat, still sounds ridiculous. George pulls him tight against himself anyway, dragging Alex behind Lando. 

"Thought you had some sexy new boy to keep you busy," Alex thwacks his arm and George knows he's being ridiculous but sometimes, from the back of the grid, he's not envious of them but he wants just as greedily as they both do. 

Lando has to nearly climb his shoulders for a kiss, demanding and reassuring. "Yeah well I thought you'd gone off without me and you know I hate that."

Alex tuts at the pair of them, smoothing soothing hands down them both. This is how it works - front runner comforts midfield and backmarker in everything, from when Lando had to learn the finer points of lasting more than five seconds in bed to Alex getting taught how to relax enough to not need to charm everything into being his way and George's own lessons that in this, too, he could be patient. 

"Carlos is good to you, yeah?" George feels guilty that it hadn't even occurred to him,too caught up in how obviously the most annoying big spoon in history had gone to wriggle every five seconds against someone else's neck. Carlos has a girlfriend or something, he's pretty sure. 

"Yeah." Lando hides his face against George's jacket, lets them bracket him underneath this fire escape, as comfortable as ever without an exit route. 

"Ok mate. I just miss shagging you, Alex never comes forty seconds after I get my cock in him." Both of them hit him, for that, "Oi, this is an abusive relationship."

Lando shushes him, snuggles closer. "You can still shag me, you giant moron."

Alex's hand moves to George's cheek, smoothing a thumb down his jaw, "That would be nice. I can't keep up with George's stamina alone."

Landos hand stretches up to cup Alex's as they all lean in, George's arms around both their thin waists. "What about tonight?" 

Their joined-hand slap is more of a stroke and the kisses more than make up for it. 

-----

Lando wears a nice shirt, like he's making an effort, which is frankly weird. It makes George's cock twitch, though, where the buttons are a little undone and he thinks about the times they've wrestled each other out of suits, Lando's fingers at George's collar while Alex pulls off his jacket, both their hands working his trousers open until Lando knelt in front of George, wet-mouthed and with Alex's hand in his hair. 

"You still with us, G?" Alex has looked up from kissing Lando and they're a picture, one unusually well-groomed and the other in one of George's t-shirts that somehow doesn't fit despite their similar proportions, hanging off one of Alex's shoulders. 

"Yeah. I was thinking about the Autosport Awards." Lando blushes, hides against Alex's chest and holds a hand out blindly, fingers reaching to George. 

It had been one of the last times of three and Lando had disappeared after, made himself scarce from Alex's huge bed. George had been worried they'd hurt him, until he saw the Insta stories about shopping with Carlos and nestled down against a tanned chest, let Alex comfort them both about it. 

After was one thing, the before, though. 

Alex teases Lando's face up, with strong fingers, as George takes his outstretched hand. "Do you think you could be up for that, tonight?" 

Lando looks uncertainly between them. "I can try - it's been. You know. Carlos doesn't fuck me, so."

George is suddenly harder than he's ever been in his life, "You don't have to."

Lando reels George in by their joined hands, puts George's fingers against his crotch to show him, "I want to."

Alex grumbles at them stealing all the attention between them and George has to kiss him for a bit, Alex's tongue in his mouth while his fingers play over Lando's cock through his jeans. 

Something shifts and he realises Alex has picked Lando up, the youngest's legs round his waist to bring him up to their height, "Hey."

Alex looks dreamy, gazing into George's eyes before he looks to Lando. "Ready?" 

"Might need some lube and stuff first but yeah." George can't help laughing - yeah, they probably will. He goes to find it, while Alex carries Lando to the bed and they go about undressing each other. "Leave his shirt on, I want that."

Alex looks up, his hands around Lando's thighs where he's yanking fabric down, an expression that's almost dangerously hungry, playful. "Whose?" 

George slides onto the bed with a thud, lines himself up on his back next to Lando so they can hold hands while they're looking up at Alex. "Not the guy wearing my manky old Quiksilver from, what, F4?" 

Lando grins, grabbing at George for kisses while Alex dispatches his jeans. "Oh G, that's hot - get naked."

Alex has always been the voyeur of the three, loved George and Lando's showoff tendencies and farbeit for him to resist an opportunity to take his top off. Especially with his boyfriend's (plural maybe, still) eyes on him, hot and dark and wanting. 

That's what George likes, has always liked about this. The reassurance of not one but two, able to get deeply lost in them both and as he settles back down, Lando spreading his legs while Alex opens the lube George passed him seconds ago, George feels less possessive and more possessed, letting Lando grab at him and bite his shoulder when clever, elegant fingers disappear beneath him. 

"Oh, we missed you." George trails his fingers over quivering abs, half-cradling Lando. Neither of the rest of them would try this, more seasoned at the art of knowing not to be frustrated by their limits while Lando still refuses to have any. "How does he feel, Alex?" 

Lando writhes, annoyed George isn't kissing him and he acquiesced while Alex is commentating, feeling what he's doing to Lando through their tongues and lips. "Same as always, like someone made the perfect twink who's a total slut for your dick."

Lando breaks the kiss, grabbing at George's face but looking at Alex "It's not just his dick."

Alex leans down, placatingly kissing at Lando's chest as he must do something pretty good, that's a little bit on the edge. Lando arches up, makes a strangled noise and reaches for George's body, Alex's shoulder, "Fuck - fuck. I like your dick too, fuck's sake, I just. Fuck, Alex, please."

Lando is not capable of saying it, right now or ever but George basks in the incoherent affection, reaches out for Alex's dick to stroke him, make him shiver while he's still readying Lando. 

"Oh fuck, G. Lando, keep talking and it's gonna be me coming first." Alex squeezes more lube out, both hands going between Lando's legs and the resulting gibberish out of the smaller man makes George's heart swell, watching Alex enraptured by it. 

"Fuck, god, it's so much - it's so good, Alex I need you. I need you both, fuck, I missed you. Oh god, fuck me - George, please, I want you too." It's surprisingly actual-word-like, from Lando, maybe Carlos has been teaching him to use them rather than animal whimpers and soft noises that'd never fall out of him or Alex. Probably. Even if they had three of Alex's right fingers and one of his left, wrapped around George's index finger where he's stretched down to get involved, inside them. 

"You want to try?" Lando whimpers, nods, mutters 'yes' and turns ragdoll between them as their fingers leave him, manhandled onto George's lap because he's bigger and it's easiest this way. 

George hold a hand out for Alex, joining fingers over Lando's hip while he more helps the smallest of them onto him than fucks in, loosely fisting Lando's cock for some contented noises while he settles against George's shoulder. "Ok?" 

"Very OK." George's cock twitches - and he knows Lando will have felt it - when Lando sweetly kisses under his jaw, across his collarbone. "Alex?" 

Alex is looking down at them, fond and frankly, thirsty. "Fuck each other for a bit - I've missed watching you."

George doesn't need telling twice to thrust up into Lando, knowing he's more than ready. Alex is a little less keen to be fucked unless he's in the mood, which is fine and makes it so special between them. But there's something very appealing about someone who's really, really into it - and George is really trying not to let his mind wander to how the fuck Carlos isn't doing this all day - and Lando is so pliant and responsive in his arms, crying out and pushing back and using George for support. 

When he feels Alex's fingers at his own balls, he slows - Lando whines about it but George remembers him liking what came next, so for the sake of both their dicks aching for a minute they can wait. 

"Touch his dick, G," Alex's fingers are slick and wet against the base of George's cock, then alongside the shaft, in Lando. 

"Fuck, no-" everyone stops "-no, no not no that, don't touch my dick or I'll cum. Sorry. Argh, Alex, do it."

Lando's voice is shaking, his thighs are trembling and when George brings one arm around him, supporting him, his whole body is a tremor through which George feels Alex push in, while their linked hands squeeze and dicks nudge together and George has to throw his head back and whine, delirious. 

It's not really fucking, like this, just frantic little movements between them and gasps as they push each other into the support. George can feel Alex's legs shaking almost as badly as Lando's, as his own, Lando using a hand on George's chest to push himself back and make Alex grab at George, frantic with something while his other hand curls round Lando's chest, holding him. 

It's barely like sex, too much - like a litany is what George keeps thinking but he has absolutely no idea what that means because his brain is glitching between the pressure of Lando's body and Alex's cock and his balls feel so tight he can't help it when it happens, crying out while he comes in Lando and over Alex's cock. 

"So much for stamina," Alex is holding Lando up, over George, their dicks still inside him. "Wank him off, I'll be quick."

Lando sighs, content, eyes closed while Alex fucks him, "I like when you talk over me, like 'mm a toy."

It sounds so wrong, George's post-orgasmic state not as caught up in the filthiness as they are except that Lando says it with such affection he can't help moving his hand faster, tighter, desperate to get Lando to come as he sees Alex bite down on his shoulder, rough and broken in the noise he makes. 

Lando is quiet when he comes, easily his least plausible trait if it weren't George knows he wanks off about seven times a day still and paddocks don't leave you much privacy. It's messy - all of them were, everything is, especially George's thighs where it's all leaked down and Lando must be a disaster but he can't do anything but bring them both down for a cuddle. 

They have to be careful, Alex spooning Lando while George - clearly the designated jizz sponge for the night - lets him curl up against his collarbone, nuzzling Alex over Lando's head. 

It's not a circle, it won't be even in every direction all the time, morphing and pulling but F1 isn't about equals, it's about finding what works. 

#emptyhalf fic

[maxemilianverstappen]

I've had Daniel filtered for days because I got sick of seeing all of the pro-choice/abortion rights posts followed by post upon post of those same people romanticizing Montana, a Republican cesspool trying to take those same rights away, just because Daniel had spent time there. I'm also pretty convinced that if MOST other drivers had went there for holiday given the current political climate, and not even so much as issued a statement condemning that state, Daniel fans would cancel them

Ahahaha... I.... I really don't have any words at the way how some people's minds work. Romanticizing a state/city just because my blorbo went there.... Unless the said fucker takes me there and treats me like a queen (which can never happen), why the hell should I do that?

Also, I am giving people the benefit of ignorance as not many of us are interested in US politics/everyday motherfuckery, because our own countries have their own shit to sift through daily, but I am pretty sure some idiots would have done the exact same thing you said if it was Max or Lando having UwU moments in some state/city/country that they don't like for some reason.

#this fandom stopped making sense long ago

[leclerc-s]

snow angel - track six

series masterlist // previous // next

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, maggielindemann and others

maia_bennett and we don't talk shit about you on the internet...

tagged: landonorris, carlossainz55

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user1 oh my god is she for real?

landonorris pretty girl 🧡

↳ maia_bennett pretty boy 🧡

user2 this has got to be some sort of joke, right?

lilymhe lol.

↳ user3 this is the most threatening lol i've ever see. period and everything.

alex_albon LMFAOOOOOO

↳ user4 most unserious driver on the grid.

↳ user5 we don't talk about alex's chaos enough

francesca.cgomes see this caption would work if we didn't all know what carlos and lando did in the spanish media.

↳ user6 SPEAK THE TRUTH KIKA!!

user7 you've got to be fucking kidding me...

user8 oh no. honey this isn't the flex you think it is.

luisinhaoliveira99 oh sweetie...

user9 i pray you're ready for the shit storm that is about to hit you.

alex_albon LMFAOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

user has turned off comments

liked by luisinhaoliveira99, maxverstappen1, yukitsunoda0511 and others

rheareynolds "but for what it's worth, he's her problem now."

tagged: luisinhaoliveira99, maia_bennett, landonorris

user10 MOTHER!! MOTHER IS MOTHERING Y'ALL!!

user11 oh, she's so cunty and i love that.

lilymhe everyday i am grateful i live on the same earth as rhea reynolds.

↳ rheareynolds oh lily, you sure know how to make a girl blush.

luisinhaoliveira99 oh girl, i fucking love you.

↳ rheareynolds baby, i fucking love you 😘. no one show this to mick!

↳ mickschumacher this is a public instagram comment section...

↳ rheareynolds LOVE YOU TOO BABE 💙!

maxverstappen1 see, i can't tell if those are lyrics or someone told you that but either way, YOU ATE THAT SHIT UP!!

↳ rheareynolds why thank you maximilian.

↳ maxverstappen1 i'll let it slide, just this once.

georgerussell63 SHE CAME TO SERVE!!

↳ rheareynolds CHANNELED MY INNER RUSSELL GEORGE FOR THIS PHOTOSHOOT!!

francesca.cgomes ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS!

↳ rheareynolds I HAD THE BEST TEACHER!

user12 oh she's so unhinged and i fucking love that shit.

oscarpiastri i just heard the most unholy screech come from the dining hall. target has been reached.

↳ rheareynolds good. he deserves this and much worse.

logansargeant YES QUEEN!! SERVING CUNT!!

↳ rheareynolds LOGIE! THANK YOU! ❤️

yukitsunoda0511 my offer still stands.

↳ rheareynolds no yuki, you are not biting his ankles while pierre holds him down.

↳ pierregasly BOO!! LET US TAKE HIM DOWN!!!

maia_bennett real mature rhea. real mature.

↳ rheareynolds oh honey, we haven't even scratched the surface.

charles_leclerc THAT'S MY BESTIE!!

↳ rheareynolds what an iconic duo, regina george and lightning mcqueen.

alex_albon REGINA GEORGE CAME TO GAG LANDO NO WINS!

↳ rheareynolds albono, i think you gagged him even more with the no wins.

maxfretwell let be known that i had no idea what was going on. i just thought she was your best friend.

↳ rheareynolds no it's okay maxie, i don't blame you for having a shitty best friend.

pierre gasly added one person

kika gomes i can't believe i'm saying this but what the hell guys? why wasn't i added sooner??

rhea reynolds you're the only sane one.

lily muni he if the loser shows up with her can i fight him??

yuki tsunoda i'll help! daniel ricciardo you two are so violent.

esteban ocon when mick said lando had cheated on you with your childhood best friend, i didn't think he meant maia, who knew you two were together. and constantly hung out together with you two.

mick schumacher i told you guys it was bad!

oscar piastri ...

alex albon WHAT DO YOU KNOW PIASTRI?? oscar piastri she's been to every single race this year... the girl he showed up with in bahrain was a fake girlfriend. he's been dating her for months. oscar piastri and i learned that every time lando said he was hanging out with carlos, he was with her. don't ask how i learned.

rhea reynolds THAT MOTHER FUCKER!!

rhea reynolds oh he's fucking lucky i could go to jail for murder.

rhea reynolds i had a different song planned to be the next single but i changed my fucking mind. fuck lando norris, fuck carlos sainz, and fuck maia bennett. i hope they enjoy their little corner in hell.

lily muni he oh regina george has not come to play.

george russell i think you mean leighton murray did not come to play.

lewis hamilton i have you all muted for a reason but please, make him miserable. it's the least he deserves.

rhea reynolds oh my manager is about to be so pissed at me but what lewis hamilton says goes.

pierre gasly BURN THE BITCH RHEA!

yuki tsunoda I'M GOING TO HIS FUCKING ANKLES!

daniel ricciardo GET HIS FUCKING ASS!!

kika gomes YOU DESTROY THAT MAN RHEA!

logan sargeant WE WILL DESTROY HIS FUCKING PEACE!

lance stroll to quote yuki, "we ride at dawn fuckers"

logan sargeant SHE WENT STRAIGHT FOR THE JUGULAR!

alex albon i am in awe of you rhea reynolds.

lewis hamilton i think you've outdone yourself rhea.

lily muni he marry me. forget alex and mick. marry me.

kika gomes no! marry me! rhea reynolds fuck it, we'll marry each other. throuple all the way.

mick schumacher trust me. it gets worse.

charles leclerc HOW MUCH MORE WORSE COULD IT POSSIBLY GET?

mick schumacher think like dear john by taylor

lily muni he oh shit. it's that bad?

max verstappen WHATEVER I GET TO MAKE HIM FUCKING MISERABLE!

yuki tsunoda FUCK YEAH! I'M BITING ANKLES BITCHES

oscar piastri OSCAR PIASTRI REPORTING FOR DUTY!!

kika gomes that man will never know peace as long as we live

pierre gasly he hasn't known peace since december 2021

kika gomes good, then we're doing our job as her friends.

oscar piastri there is nothing i enjoy more than slowly torturing my teammate

daniel ricciardo chaotic aussies and mclaren. something they can never get away from.

logan sargeant listen, if we host a listening party, at the same time, in different garages. he can't really shit on any of us.

max verstappen so what you mean is, all of us play tummy hurts, on a loop to annoy him?

charles leclerc SIGN ME THE FUCK UP! ANYTHING TO ANNOY HIM AND HIS PARTNERS IN CRIME!

lance stroll I'M IN! FERNANDO'S IN TOO!!

rhea reynolds i seriously love you guys.

lily muni he rhea, baby, we love you too.

oscar piastri i enjoy chaos. we aren't quite at the love phase rhea.

rhea reynolds oh fuck you swimp.

logan sargeant SWIMP!!

oscar piastri OH FUCK OFF!

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¡leclerc-s speaks! no cause if there was no more drama there this story would end so much sooner and we don't want that yet.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

#leclerc-s #snow angel series #f1 instagram au #f1 x oc #f1 oc #f1 smau #f1 social media au #f1 #formula one #f1 fic #formula 1 fic #f1 x female oc #lando norris x female oc #mick schumacher x female oc