#do i assume ppl are cool with it unless told otherwise

[golbrocklovely]

About Taylor anon.

But yk what is also INSANE and disrespectful, rude and disgusting? People who do it on the other way. When they try to prove to everyone that all of their favs are straight, even if a lot of them never said a thing about their sexuality. I’ve seen it happening too many times now and i’m so concerned. Those kind of people will get triggered just by seeing comment like “I think that X singer can be bi/gay/pan”. Some of them even DENY their favs own words when they gave a hint of their sexuality or some of them queer code. The best example that I’ve seen some time ago can be SUGA from BTS. Personally I don’t really listen to that group, once wanted to, but something ( fandom) prevented me from it. But back to point. There is a song if i am not mistaken that this man wrote himself and in that song he sings a verse that says “either is a man or a women”. Also apparently there was an interview when he himself said that he doesn’t care about the gender, when it comes to love, because he focus more on that person than either is boy or girl. THAT screams Pansexuality. And yet I’ve seen many of his fans Denying that fact by saying things like “but that doesn’t say that he is pan. He can be still straight and not care about gender”. Sorry. I didn’t know that being straight means not caring about gender, I always taught is being attracted to opposite one.

What I am trying to say here is that either it’s obsession about having gay favs and trying to prove so bad that they are gay OR aggression towards idea of their favs not being straight/denial even when some of them said/done something that can hint about them being queer… BOTH of those behaviors are Extremely disgusting, wrong and disrespectful. Because both are forcing the sexualities on those artists, when they might not be it.

Tbh I don’t even know why sexuality of their fav singers for fans is such important thing. At the end of the day sexuality (straight, bi,pan, gay, lesbian etc.) doesn’t affect the music they make or their vocals, neither it changes them as humans or their personality. So why is it so important for a lot of fans?

And no there is no such thing as “as long as they won’t come out, they are straight”. They can be any other sexuality, without informing their fans and the reason why they don’t do it is simply the very homophobic music industry and world itself . It is called protecting myself.

Listen to music, not to sexual orientation. If you are curious … cool. But if you’re Obsessed… pls stop.

i think a lot of ppl assume ppl are straight until said otherwise just bc as a society that's what we've been taught or told.

personally, unless an artist makes it apparent one way or another, i don't really focus on sexuality. i don't really care if they ever talk about their own or not. if they want to, awesome. if not, also awesome. i'm not stanning someone bc they're gay or straight or whatever lol

i think a lot of it has to do with connection sometimes. some ppl really want to connect with their favorite artist, and if that artist happens to also be the same sexuality as them, than that makes everything they do more special sometimes. and i think the reason some try to out their faves is bc curiosity and blurring the lines of the para-social relationship. they want to know and want to be the first to know too.

but as for the ones that deny their faves the right to express themselves…. it could be a bit of internalized homophobia. or just general homophobia. i know from personal experience internalize homophobia makes you do some dumb fucking things or make you think stupidly. so, to those that do deny, i have sympathy.

but only to a very small degree. once you start arguing with ppl about someone that outright has said that they are one way… you've lost me and you need some help, my friend.

#ask #personal

[thatsveryood]

how do i know who wants to be put on a taglist and who doesnt i do not understand this

#i missed this change during my tumblr hiatus bc i am confusion #do i assume ppl are cool with it unless told otherwise #is it only for gifsets and fanart or is it for anything you think they might like?? #is it bad to do as a self promote thing for my pin and sticker designs?? #i have a decent chunk of followers here but i feel like stuff gets easily lost on the dash so i want to tag ppl m #idk tumblr etiquette anymore pls help me i am old lady now

[gooferdusted]

hypothetically, if I were to write a fix-it/rewrite au fic, (thinking of starting at s5 but debating starting earlier) what are some storylines you’d take out/change, characters you’d save/kill, and specifically changes to sam’s character/arcs you’d like bc i need ideas

ok. ok. I'm gonna try to not go completely off the fucking rails while I write this up but I gotchu (also these r all just my own hot n spicy takes so like. pick what u like, it's all goodie goodie)

• no time passing differently in hell. literally four months is ~Enough!~ a year is enougghh!!!!!! like I get that they wanted to make hell this horrible unreachable thing but u can still like... get that across without having it be this unfathomable chunk of time out of a persons life. like sam was down there with TWO very pissed off angel's for 180 years??? how can he still speak english??? how does dean remember ANYTHING about his old life when mentally more than half of it was spent being endlessly tortured until he finally cracked??? its just.... Too Much...

• ON that note, I feel like later on they never rlly had sam and dean bond over the fact that like... they are genuinely the ONLY two people on earth who have survived actual hell. I mean we got that one off line from dean at some point but??

• no chuck as god. just a greasy greasy rat man getting insane stories projected into his brain. and on the topic of that.... I dont like the reflection of the real life fanbase in the spn universe??? they're pulp fiction novels, it should be all like 50 year old + ladies who picked them up at the local bargain bin, not b*cky r*sen

• I like... WANNA say smth abt s4..... bc I think the way that they handled things were a little out of character BUT I also think that was lind of the point??? like the angels and demons were manipulating them to say/do things they would normally never say/do to eachother to drive a big enough wedge between then that they would eventually say yes to being the vessels. like it hurts to watch sooo much but it did drive the plot forward in a very particular way that probably couldnt have happened otherwise. that being said, when the levee breaks makes me sad, and I dont want to see sam crying for his dead mother alone in a basement! cest la vie.

• sam and dean.... are Friends...,, why did we all forget that..... watch hell house and maybe I'll calm down.....

• PSYCHIC SAM!!!!!! you all know me. you know how I feel about psychic sam... robbed. s4 finale rlly had sam like "drinking that much demon blood has truly changed me forever..... theres no going back now...... 😔😔" like ok. ok. where are your superpowers. where are they.

• I wish some of the other special children had made it out :(( I really liked andy and ava (also sam finding other friend who are like him??? queer allegory??? spare queer allegory?????)

• I also dont think the roadhouse shouldve burned down!!! that shouldve been a Staple Location like Bobby's house. same w Missouri's, literally why did we only visit her once.

• ur sending an ask to my blog so I assume this is just a given for u but!!! we're takin away the misogyny. we're takin away the fetishization! anything that would be given the greenlight by joss whedon we are putting straight in the trash. <3

• this is mostly a thing in later seasons like. idk 9-15, but no ppl knowing who the winchesters are. they are NOBODIES. they pop up like little meerkats and fuck everything up beyond repair.

• also no fancy tech. no iphone 76z or whatever the fuck. sam has an ipod 1. the wheel is so stuck he can barely press play anymore. remember when he literally just tore off the top casing off his laptop and threw it away? more of that.

• no nice clothes. NO nice clothes we fuckin hate that. everything sam and dean own was purchased pre 1995 and dean is an expert at removing blood stains and sewing up jackets. dean will walk into a laundromat with a tide pen and just start goin for it like that scene in deadpool.

• tbh.... I feel like the issues in later seasons are really this massive horrible domino effect. like I could say heres how to fix s7-10 but the fact is if shit hadnt gone down lile it had in s7 s10 would be a different story entirely.

• I am gonna do it tho bc I suck <3

• s6: soulless sam was funney but did that really go anywhere? no. tbh I dont remember what happened w cas and I'm just not going to look it up. it's just not in the cards for tonight. dean w lisa.... ehh.... I've discussed this at wayy too much length w mushroom and we both agreed that dean would probably keep hunting to keep his mind off things and to try and honor sams sacrifice. I guess theres an argument to be made for the fact that it kind of was Sam's dying wish that dean just go fin her and live a normal life but... idk. purgatory was. . indeed a Concept..... that could have maybe gone somewhere if it didnt rapidly spiral into....

• s7!!! I mean. jesus christ. I know some people like this one but jesus christ. the way they literally couldnt commit to having sam have genuine mental health problems after centuries in hell or to just magically wipe them away..... bobby dying halfway thru.... charlie was a bright spot I suppose, but her intro is not my fave episode w her.... idk what the fuck happened w cas, I guess he was god. the leviathan designs were kinda neat but like oh my fucking god it wasnt worth it.

• s8: uh. rough start. idk why the turn tables so suddenly and dean's like "why didnt u look for me >:((" bc??? yall agreed not to???? at the VERY least they couldve had sam been like "I legitimately had no reason to think u werent dead and in heaven and tha wouldve been a little rude of me to pull u out of that." but we went for ~drama~ to make it spicy I guess. ouygh. bunkers there!!! that was cool!!! MoL is a cool concept!!! altho... it doesn kinda contradict the whole sam and dean are nobodies thing... idk. trials of hell was like... cool in theory but bad in practice unless they were planning on ending the show for realskies. and they did not.

• s9: uhh... hated gadreel! hated that shit! wish they had spun that whole storyline to be more "hey sam I noticed u were s*icidal should we maybe address that??" or even like.... I mean dean probably couldve just TOLD sam abt his plan, he had already convinced him to stay alive by that point??? there was no reason to lie!!! plus the betrayal of gadreel not being who he said he was wouldve been like. literally enough drama, we didnt need to fracture the team again. and cas was??? where exactly??? be was human for at least half of that season but hey didnt know what to do w him so they chucked him in a convenience store??? good lord.

• s10: got no suggestions for that one, just toss it

• s11: ok... shes cute.... we can forgive her.... the lore is shaky at best but the episodes SLAP and the characterization is *chefs kiss*. it's been a hot minute since I've seen it so if smth sucked I dont remember and I plan to keep it that way!!!!

• s12: n.. no. no mary. no mary unless we're doing it right. and I promise u doing it right was not poorly ripping off kingsman. couldve brought back bobby!!! if they desperately wanted some drama couldve brought back john!!! actually fuck that, no way

• s13-15: no thoughts, only jack kline <3

#holy fuck im so sorry <3 #shut up cereal #asks #long post #spn critical #hate tagging my posts as that bc i dont wanna b one of ~Those~ but i dont want ppl coming after me 4 this #theres probably like 100000 things i forgot!!! feel free to add ur own!!!! #there are some seasons i only ever watched once very very long ago.... #and tbh classic spn is the freshest in my mind so im focusing on her #spn #supernatural

[drake-the-incubus]

1-50. Your turn >:3

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

I hope so! Hey @hero-of-bowerstone do you love me?

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

I’m turning 22 and have done nothing with my life. It depends. I don’t really know many 18 year olds.

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

Re-reading my favourite book series a couple of days ago. Menoetius please love yourself more my baby, my child. Also writing my last fic is probably sooner. Cause Xiphrus needs love.

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

Uh… how the fuck do people smile?

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

Uh yeah. He’s blocked and hopefully will leave me the fuck alone.

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

Uh not really. I have tailored playlists.

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

A t-shirt, shorts and underwear? I need to change actually but that requires a shower and I’m too lazy to get that ready :/

8. How often do you listen to music?

24/7. Unless I’m watching a video/video calling, I’m constantly listening to music. When I say I’ve listened to a song for a week straight, it’s likely the song has been looped… for a week straight.

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Sweats, jeans fucking suck and cause issues I’d rather not deal with.

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

I mean the year already passed but back then I was going into 7th I think? If you mean the turn of this year, yeah I fucking do look at the world.

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

Anti-Social. I don’t like spending time with people too much and need a lot of alone time. That being said I crave attention from friends.

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

I don’t know? I’ve kissed a lot of people I have forgotten bc of truth or dare. Not that I recall.

13. What about ‘R’?

See the same as above.

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

No, and legally if I drive I’m going to be arrested as my learners expires soon and I a) have no glasses, b) can’t concentrate on the road to pass a driver’s test. Also why the fuck do people drive those, it’s… so unreliable.

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

If they’re not telling me to my face, yeah. If you have a problem with me, bring it up to me. I don’t like people talking behind my back. That being said, nah. Talk shit about me to my face all you want I don’t give a shit.

16. Are you going out of town soon?

I’m spending the next month in another province so the answer is, already out of town. I’ll be going out of this town quite often.

17. When was the last time you cried?

A few days ago I cried over Menoetius losing his fucking shit at love and then again when Joxeia was struggling.

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

Plenty of times. Then it got thrown back into my face almost the same amount.

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

Yes and no. If I could have full heterochromia with a blood red eye I’ll fucking take it. That shit’s cool and I still love it. Otherwise only to make my own centerlized-heterochromia more distinct. (Blue/Green Split)

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

My boyfriend? IG. I mean fictionally a lot of boys. IRL I don’t think I could do everything for anyone. Not my style.

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

I’m hungry and I can’t finish the series I’ve been waiting on bc scanlators dont have the final two chapters.

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

No. Ew. It reminds me of what parents are supposed to do. Otherwise why’re you checking my fever? What’s the point?

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

Uh depends on what that’s defined as. I talked out loud, verbally to my boyfriend so yeah. Otherwise, no.

24. What are you sitting on right now?

A very uncomfortable arm chair/lazy boy type thing.

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

My boyfriend. My friends. Also bold of you to assume my family tells me they love me.

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yes, I want a lot of people. Fictional characters are nice, man. Otherwise kinda. On and off.

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

Staff on a server.

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

Yes! It fucking sucks because I sound like I’m dying MORE now.

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

RTX 2018 when I went down there. Wish I could go again.

30. Does anyone hate you?

I would think, someone does, I'm not the most likeable person in the universe. I secretly think everyone does.

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

I should fucking hope not. If there is my boyfriend is going to have to answer some questions.

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

That’s my favourite movie genre.

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

Ew no. Someone else does and I hate them for it. No that shit is… no. Good on other people but I know ppl who have had it and no.

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

Um… 2016 bc that ruined my life :)

35. Did you have a dream last night?

Fuck if I know. I woke up hungry and focused on that.

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Yesterday. My boyfriend.

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

I don’t know if I even want to be married, but given what’s going on if I’m not then my bf might cry? So I think yes if we get the finances.

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Uh… my boyfriend. But otherwise? Yeah. I’m fairly aware a lot of people develop feelings for me. It kinda weirds me out bc 90% of the time it’s never romantic.

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Uh. Statistically speaking someone probably is.

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

Nope. I don’t really think it was a net good or bad day.

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

Yeah. We’re two years in September.

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

I currently share a house with my sister in law. We just had a conversation when I reached this question actually.

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes and that brings up bad memories.

44. What’s the best part about school?

I got away from my abusive parents. Got to write in class. Met some friends. Uh. Learned about many things, people who’re 13 and spent five minutes learning about, argue with me on them. I learned how to write and use none of that knowledge now.

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

I wish I didn’t, but yeah because I had to upload things for my parents. Including images of before I was out as trans.

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

Yup. Pretty common past time.

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

Obsessively. So much so I’ve caused issues. So now I keep fictional worlds going as a coping mechanism.

48. Were you single over the last summer?

Nope. Won’t be this one either,

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

Hahaha. Fuck no and im glad for it. Not with my parents, not struggling with other issues, not with my ex. Shit’s baller.

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

Probably writing a fanfic or planning a book. Cleaning. Could use a shower. Will I do any of these? Probably not, my boyfriend jacked my PC.

#ask game #lol this was p easy to do #long post

[mydarling-suggestions]

**so i came out as definitely not straight(not labeling it bc idfk at this point) to one of my friends and somehow other ppl at my school found out and they’re all being super bitchy abt it?? how do i respond to that? they’re saying super rude stuff like “omg i knew it” and that rlly hurts tbh😕

oh i’m so sorry that’s happened to you, that’s really not cool :(

and i’m assuming very heavily here, but it seems like your ‘friend’ has gone and told someone or many, which if so is really fucked up. coming out is a really scary thing and i’m sure it would have taken a lot just for you to tell them, so then for them to just spread it around like that is so not on. gosh it gets me so mad when people out others smh.

like if that were my friend, they would no longer be my friend lmao djnfg unless they genuinely didn’t understand what they were doing and that it could affect you negatively u know, because otherwise that’s a complete violation of your trust and just a dick move tbh. 

and these other people at your school can go fuck themselves honestly, i myself know how hurtful it is when people make comments like “omg i knew it”. 

but ANYWAYS, i can see a few ways to go about this, there are probably more but, i would suggest either trying to educate people kinda? like letting them know “hey, you probably don’t even realise but it’s really hurtful when you say these types of things”, or you can be like “yeah that’s right i’m not straight, and what of it?”, but then idk jcvjb i feel like stuff’s hard to do irl. or you could just wait for people to get over it and keep your head down in the meantime?? either way i think the damage has already been done unfortunately, and generally speaking, ppl in school are immature and shitty, so there mightn’t be much you can do about it really :(

but do you have another friend you know you can rely on? or your family even? because a support system is so so vital to help you get through things like this. and just keep reminding yourself that you are being your true self which is amazing, and it doesn’t matter what people think or if they ‘knew all along’, because that’s not gonna stop you from loving who you want and living a happy life okay?

i just really hope people stop being bitchy real soon :(

#sorry if this is like.......not that helpful #i become more ranty when i'm mad sorry djnfjgh #i just know how it feels though because my sister outed me in the middle of dinner out with my COWORKERS #she's lucky we were in public i swear to god #because like......as bad as it is i feel kinda ashamed still?? i know i shouldn't be but i am #so idk i just really feel u on this one and got angry sjndjfg sorry again #writerwithsometalent #answered #mod alexis #also sorry for the essay djfngb i literally could have probably summarised all this within two lines but i got ranty

[fairymiint]

✨ LOVELY OOC MEME ✨

✨ TAGGED BY: @panickypeachboy​ ✨ TAGGING: hmmmm if u want!

NAME: Felix NICKNAME: feelie AGE: 26 FACE CLAIM: Hibiki Kuze, though I’ll use Bendy or Sans if I’m Mega dysphoric PRONOUNS: He/Him/His HEIGHT: 4′10″ BIRTHDAY: February 2nd

AESTHETIC: Ocean/Island, cotton candy, punk, whatever you’d call Jet Set Radio/Lethal League/Splatoon put together (we can’t agree on a name for it besides Jet Set Radio Aesthetic. it’s slightly more specific than neotokyo)

LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO: well my brain kinda nostalgiabaited Shake it Off-Mariah Carey at 4 in the morning but the last song I listened to w/ intent was a nightcore version of Domino by Jesse J

FAVORITE MUSE ( S ) YOU’VE WRITTEN:  Candyman and Shovel Knight both make me smile c’x but...I’d say Felix’s kid icarus verse is the #1 most versatile muse I have?

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO TAKE ON YOUR CURRENT MUSE ( THAT YOU ARE POSTING THIS ON ): Usually the content they’re on!! I’ll play the game they’re on and then the only thing that keeps me is having the time to make icons for them! Bowser’s the latest, so just....playing Smash tbh, he and Ridley became my mains??? Jevil’s straight up ripped from deltarune too, his speech pattern is similar to mine when I’m stimmy so. It also doesn’t help that the post office we live by has a sign that’s peeling and says Do Not Block Jrive

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE ASPECTS OF YOUR CURRENT MUSE: I play Felix the most because he’s both popular and super nice which makes him....versatile overall? Playing other muses gets to be a pain when either the muse themselves leaves or IRL knocks them from my mind, but Felix is too stubborn and sweet to leave someone hanging in that way.

Bowser.....idk he’s......a big brat and I guess I’m super amused by people with overconfidence because it feels like we all have None these days. Combine that with him growing into a cool dad and I’m just kinda like.....why not? Wanted a more ‘evil’ muse too but I guess not too evil ~7~

WHAT’S YOUR BIGGEST INSPIRATION WHEN IT COMES TO WRITING: TBH if I’m truthful my muses just kinda start going HEY and commenting on my life and that usually when I Know™ to add them officially,

like music brings me in a lot, y’all know this. Occasionally I rely on my dash as well, but most of it is my muses talking and me just....letting them......

FAVORITE TYPES OF THREADS: Not that i write them often but lmao can’t deny i love me a well done smut. BUT ANYWAYS  I’m a sucker for playfights, bonding, and wholesome moments- no matter the base relationship (shippy/platonic/enemies)

BIGGEST STRUGGLE IN REGARDS TO YOUR CURRENT MUSE: i’m too much of a people pleaser basically ;7;

my anxiety skyrocketed a few months ago due to financial troubles so I’m working my way back up again in the RPer self confidence department, unfortunately :/  I still smash the enter key and reel backwards like every single time I send an ask/IM to everyone but 3, sometimes 4 people because I’m that afraid I’m going to cross someone’s boundaries, it’s a bitch.

I couldn’t tell you anything musewise/IC besides maybe them not jumping into every conflict they see?? I do assume my muses must be hard to write for, my only assumption unless told otherwise would be maybe they aren’t Generic enough to catch ppl’s interest, like I said IDFK and this is kind of a negative section i guess. probably just have to be More Confident and less discouraged i guess lmao

#🌺 TPC | Dash Meme #long post.

[ourlittlebitofnothinguniverse]

All for the video game ask. (do I need to mention only if u r comfy w/ it at this point). Love you!!

alright u done done it now bitchhhhhhhh are u READY 4 THIS SHIT (dshfa;lkj thamk i am so pumped ur my biggest enabler) i already answered a couple of these for anon but i’ll go ahead and answer them here as well

1. First game you played obsessively?hmmmm i wanna say the legend of spyro the eternal night? i played it so much i could beat the whole game in four hours. i’ve heard lots of ppl actually hated the legend of spyro trilogy but honestly they can suck my ass i loved them

2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.uh besides my answer for anon of skyrim not many games have actually just straight up influenced my art style but i’ve been playing this game called Fe (not fire emblem just Fe) and i really want to draw fanart for it bc it’s super cute if that Counts as influence?

3. Who did you play with as a kid?if this is meant in terms of co-op games nobody bc we didn’t have anyif just in general, my sister for the most part. i’d watch her play things like resident evil and she’d help me with the hard parts in medievil and crash bandicoot warped (read: racing levels)

4. Who do you play with now?myself lmao i don’t rly like co-op and multiplayer games and i prefer to play most games by myself

5. Ever use cheat codes?like i told anon, no bc i don’t know how they work and i’d probably only use them for the sims anyways

6. Ever buy strategy guides?not really? once we bought the collectors edition for diablo II when i was little and it included the strategy guide which i stayed up all night to read (bc i had run out of other reading materials in the house) but like i don’t really use them idk

7. Any games you have multiple copies of?the sims three and i know you know the reason why but in case anybody else wants to know: i didn’t know they had actually completely changed the game since i had played it last probably a decade ago so i bought it @ walmart this year and then i got mad bc it apparently SUCKS ASS now so in search of a copy of the original version i bought a second one from amazon bc the Image being used WAS of the original case but it really was the new version so now i have two SHITTY SHITTY VERSIONS of a game i used to love that i will never play bc it’s shit except maybe i will bc apparently it has real life music in it just replaced with sims language which is amazing and this response is far too long for the question but i asked u if u were ready so u signed up 4 thisi also have an xbox version of it tht i got for like christmas or smth years ago and a,,,,,, ds version??? that i got last year bc somebody was selling “the original version of the game including every expansion pack” for only like $30 and it definitely said disk version but when i got it it was this Pre-owned Dirty Ds Cartridge Covered In What Looked Like Strawberry Jelly and when i tried to contact them they shut their page down so there’s that which equals four shitty shitty copies of the sims three and i will never be more mad about anything than i am about this

8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection?uh well back when i had a job i spent A Lot of money (to me it was a lot) to get the collectors edition of the last guardian so that would be my most expensive. other than that i would have to say one of the hardest to find (maybe not rare but not common)games i have currently is medievil for ps1 bc it took me like a week of searching to find a copy in good condition online for sale bc i rly wanted to own it again since we had to sell all my old games when we moved to oregon which sucked bc we had a Bunch of cool games (mostly early ps era)

9. Most regrettable purchase?did you see my rant about the sims three for answer 7? yeah

10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours?never lived in an area where that is A Thing

11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?i wanna make a homestuck joke here (srsly probably not like i said i don’t rly do any type of co-op or multiplayer games so)

12. Ever get picked on for liking games?not really?? is that a Thing?

13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has?uh idk literally any COD game, basketball games, Fallout games, overwatch, anything that’s co-op, shooter games or sports related etc idk i’m a simple fellow these types of games don’t appeal to me

14. Favorite game music?idk what this means? like genre-wise??? idk abt stuff like that i just like good game music but i’ll tell you the fuck what, hiveswap music fuckin SLAPPED

15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick?fuck shit idk man i don’t rly want a tattoo maybe uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh smth that could be vague

16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL?idk rip lmao

17. Ever lose a friend over a game?Nah man i can’t even imagine smth as dumb as that unless they’re screaming racist or sexist slurs bc then friendship is terminated but otherwise like wtf it’s just a game,,,

18. Would you date someone that hates gaming?i mean?????? sure????????????? they don’t have to game with me??????????? unless they tell me I can’t game bc they don’t like it in which case Bye u controlling piece of shit

19. Favorite handheld console?u kno those games that used to come in sonic happy meals? yah (jk uh i don’t have much experience w/ handheld consoles besides nintendo ds-es and they’re cool)

20. Game that you know like the back of your hand?like i said i played spyro the eternal night so often i could beat it in four hours so probably that one.

21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now?the only games i didn’t like as a kid i p much still don’t like now

22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories?i am Poor

23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into?currently skyrim or stardew valley

24. First Pokemon game?I didn’t get to play any pokemon games until this year actually but i got myself pokemon y and ultra sun so those are my first two! although you Could technically say pokemon go bc i played that for the first time like One month before i got y and ultra sun but like idk if tht counts so *shrug emoji*

25. Were you ever an arcade game player?i never lived where arcades were a thing tbh

26. Ever form any gaming rivalries?Why

27. Game that makes you rage?there’s this absolutely adorable and INFURIATING game called so many me that’s a puzzle platformer but the controls are so ridiculously precise that it’s absolutely the WORST to play bc unless you do it just right at just the right millisecond you will die over and over and over

28. Ever play in a tournament?nah

29. What is your gaming set up?the livingroom tv and my mom’s xbox one or my bedroom with my ps4 i got for my birthday and my xbox 360 that i got like 7 years ago

30. How many consoles do you own?alright so If ds-es count i own,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, roughly seven? i have my new ps4 i got for my birthday last year, my 7 year old xbox 360, another xbox 360 i bought from a kid @ school, a ps1 i bought last year for the Nostalgia that’s in rly good condition, a rly old ds lite a rly old 3ds and my new pokeball 2dsxl. i would also say that the ps3 my aunt left when she died is mine bc my mom never used it and she had bought most of the games For Me and Her to play together anyways so the idea that she left it to my mom is,,,, Weird but my mom claims it was left to her so Shrug emoji

31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches?“virtual boy” i love it omg. uh not really i don’t use my ds-es that often bc i don’t have a just wild amount of games but when i do use them it doesn’t rly mess w/ my brain or eyes too much

32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic?probably not?

33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games?i don’t think so tbh

34. Do either of your parents play video games?my mom does but she really only plays like three games (the newest assassins creed, skyrim, and stardew valley)

35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop?nope

36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?man have u ever heard of brotherhood a tale of two sons? mom told me abt it and she didn’t warn me abt how it ended and i had to leave the room and cry bc it broke my heart

37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination?i didn’t know that was a thing

38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like?i can’t think of any tbh. oh wait i take that back sonic unleashed it’s terrible but i love it

39. A sequel that you would die for them to make?maybe not a sequel but they rly need to come out with another stardew valley type thing or maybe expansions or smth so that you can talk to and befriend more ppl and stuff

40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls?never been able to try them but they look super fun and i can’t wait to see how they improve the technology

41. A genre that you just can’t get into?multi-player games period. also first person shooters and sports games. there’s more but i can’t remember the title of the game bc i don’t know what genre it would be lmao

42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness?i assume this means game related nerdiness not just my inherent nerdiness in general so probably the very first spyro game

43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else?all the time my dude

44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters?none

45. How are you at Mario Kart?probably shit i’m not good @ steering in games

46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon?i love them! i have like 100+ hours logged into stardew valley and i only got it in like november of last year

47. Do you like competitive games?not really

48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?so long. i either have to make them gorgeous or beautifully hideous

49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character?yah tbh lmao. i have like eight thief stone khajits in skyrim rn

50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?i have a Lot of ideas and not all of them are good

51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep?forgetting to sleep, yes. forgetting to eat? no 

52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid?i was a very sheltered kid i didn’t know about new games coming out when i was little bc we didn’t have any way for me to find out About Them. i’m making up for it by begging as an adult for ni-no-kuni II and the new spyro trilogy remastered

53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days?depends on the game tbh some of it is good and a lot of ppl who make mods are rly talented but sometimes the big companies just make dlc to make more money so it can be rly shitty so it’s kinda a 50/50

54. Do you give in to Steam sales?heck yes rn i’m waiting for house flipper to go on sale bc i’ve been waiting for it to come out since i found out abt it

55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them?no my style of playing the sims was more along the lines of make a hundred houses that are all P Much The Same House and making a hundred familys and never playing literally any of them hadflskja;sdfjdslkhja i just liked building stuff and that’s why i’m pissed abt how much they changed the sims three bc it used to be Way Better

56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests?we didn’t have it but i did have zoo tycoon and i’d release the dinosaurs sometimes

57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements?legend of spyro the eternal night

58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick?uh!!! that’s too much pressure and i would get so bored playing them for the rest of my life even if i loved them so i will not choose

59. Do you play any cell phone games?sort of? i’m big into abyssrium and i like viridi if those Count?

60. Do you know the Konami Code???????????????????????? guess not

61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever?keep them forever!

62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game?i got the last guardian before getting the ps4 does that answer ur question? (jk that is not the only reason i wanted and got the ps4 but it was One big reason)

63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? nah

64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming?not really? i just use whatever i currently have bc i am lame

65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file?nope

66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it?not a nokia but we had this one handheld thing that had a bunch of games in it that included snake i just can’t remember what it was it had like letters and numbers and it needed like regular batteries and you could only play the games that came programmed on it 

67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share?i cannot think of any right off the top of my head even though i know i played a lot of video games and loved them when i was little. hm it might not count as like a gaming-related childhood memory and more of just a memory of a game but we did have one really interesting little game that i absolutely loved i think we only rented it but u were a scientist who could turn into a mouse and it was absolutely amazing i loved it i have no idea what it was called hm

68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool?not really we didn’t have arcades around where i grew up

69. In your opinion, best game ever made? there are a lot of rly good ones i can’t choose a best game

70. Very first game you ever beat? like i told anon i’m p sure it was crash bandicoot warped

WHEW this was rly fun thank u for enabling me it took me like two hours to answer this i’m so happy. ilu 2 man hope ur day has been rad!

[darkmatterxafricanempires]

so

There’s this older dude in my life, never met him he’s more of a mentor-figure. Was introduced to him through an uncle, he’s like a family-friend uncle (black ppl you may be familiar, random adults introduced in your life from childhood and beyond and they’re your play uncles and aunties more so out of respect versus a familial obligation). 

Anyways, he’s a nice guy, we only chat through what’s app, he’s a professor at a university. I’ve been kind of lost on what I want to do for a career (had a plan, saw plan through, did not like end game...twas public relations, and it just wasn’t my jam). 

I talked to him on the phone first, he suggested public administration, lots of transferable skills and fulfilling job opportunities. I check out some programs, and do some research and I’m like cool, I think I’d like this. Mentor-uncle helps me with my application, revising, editing and making suggestions. I apply to the program and I get in. 

FF about a year later, (present-day ish) the program is near the end and I’m still unclear on what to do professionally. I know what I don’t want to do, but my exact vision is unclear (it’s not that it’s unclear, it’s just unconventional, and I’m still conceptualizing how to execute it). 

Mentor-uncle doesn’t live in close by, he’s about 5hr drive and 1hr plane ride away. He’s visiting where I live for a board meeting. My mother suggests I meet up with him to discuss more career aspirations, I’m like “nah.” He’s done a lot to help me, but I feel like he doesn’t have much to offer me now. 

He reaches out to me directly and lets me know he’s going to be in town, I already knew this of course, but I felt obligated (guilt induced by being child of immigrant parents, whatever) so I offer to pick him up from the airport, grab a bite to eat, and drop him off at his hotel. 

Kinda going above and beyond, I know, but he really helped me w/ my shitty application, and I’m 92% I would not have been admitted to my program without his help. So it’s my own way of saying thanks, and balancing the playing field, and repaying this debt to him I’ve created in my head. 

So everything’s set, I’m gonna be his uber driver for a lil bit. Signals get slightly crossed, he’s arriving at an airport that a lot further out of my way but closer to his hotel. I’m running a bit behind (leaving from school which is north-er, his airport is downtown a lot more south), so to avoid missing his check-in time he calls a cab, and takes that to his hotel. Annoying (bc I arrive the airport 5mins after he leaves) but understandable bc he wants to secure his room.

He asks me meet to him at his hotel instead, we can grab dinner and part ways from there, cool. Meet him at his hotel, for the first time in person. All is well, he’s nice in-person. He grabs his stuff we ask the ppl at the front desk for a suggestion, bing bang boom. We end up at this cute 24-hour cafe restaurant. Dinner is relatively nice, he’s a middle-aged, well-educated african man, a little self-involved and pompous but not obnoxiously so.

Not to toot my own horn, but I have a great sense of humour, a lot would say I’m funny in fact. And I can be a little bit of flirt, but more in a compliment you on a random aspect of your life kind of charming way, like some pg-13 flirting maybe G, not the AA and/or rated-X kind. Unless I’m trying to go that route yaaaaaa dig 👀👀. 

Anyways, dinner was IMO quite platonic, plus mentor-uncle has a wife and a kid back in the motherland, so there are no romantic or sexually driven thoughts or feelings running through my head at alllllllllll (plus I’m maaaad gay, so nah).

Red flag #1 

I think (there may have been others, but I’m not sure). I’ve parked my car right across from his hotel, in a green p (toronto slang for a paid parking garage, not really slang bc that’s what they’re called). We walk past this green p and continue onwards to his hotel (retrospect: should’ve taken that moment to just say bye, go to my car, and dip home) 

We’re walking into his hotel, my internal dialogue is on overdrive (I’ve done my good deed for the night, there’s really nowhere else I see this evening going). We get back to him room, I go sit down in one of the 2 chairs by the tv and he lays down in his bed. (red flag #1.5) 

Red flag #2 

he says, “why don’t you come and lay down with me and we can talk here.” I’m like, “Nooooo.” Pretty insistently, because, no. He keeps probing, saying it’s a king-size bed there’s plenty of room for the two of us to just lay down and talk. I’m still very strong in my no’s and I say I’m fine where I am. 

So admittedly I should’ve taken this opportunity for to make a swift exit, clearly he thinks this evening can end with us in bed, and there’s no way I’m letting that happen. So there’s bit of a silence and I’m thinking of all the ways I can leave abruptly without being extremely rude (and I hate it so much, that I’m concerned with being rude, when he’s being the penultimate rude boy inviting me to his bed to “talk.”

Red-flag #2.5-3 

He gets out of his king-sized to sit in the chair next to mine, by the TV. He doesn’t read too much in to my rebuttals, instead shows me the agenda for his board meeting the next morning, *yawn*. He’s wondering what’s on TV, it’s late-ish, we’re watching Stephen Colbert with Anna Wintour and some next guy looking at ancient catholic artifacts, in relation to the met gala. 

Whatever, it ends we’re now watching James Corden. He’s got Zlattan on as a guest, some really famous arrogant european soccer player. So I’m just plotting my polite exit strategy in my head, and after some fortune teller segment, I’m like “So I’m going to leave now.” He’s all like “it’s sooo late, you don’t have to leave. Just the spend the night, I’ve got this king-size bed...there’s plenty of room” etc. And again, I’m like “Nooooo that’s fine, I’m going leave.”

He’s really pushy on me spending the night, I’m equally pushy saying no that’s fine. He goes on to say, “So you’re really going to leave me here all alone, all by myself.” Some super manipulative bullshit like that, and I’m like “Yes, yes I am going to do exactly that.” The vibes were never threatening or violent, just persistent, creepy and overbearing. So he accepts my answer and was like, “Can I least get a hug since you’re leaving me.” And I know sooo many women, probably even some men even have dealt with this reverse-psychology mindfuckery. And again, I should’ve declined but I felt bad, strangely guilty even though I had no real reason to be. 

I obliged gave him a hug, I was super tense. And it was pretty short, then as we’re exiting the room, he asks for a real hug, I again stupidly oblige, still super tense and it’s this horribly long uncomfortable hug where he proceeds to feel up my back and sides. And I’m just horrified, feeling so frozen and gross, but perfectly able to end this one-sided grope session. I can see our reflection behind him in a mirror, and I look disgusted with him and myself for continuing this for no good reason. 

He pulls back, looks me in the eye and leans for a gross closed mouth uncle kiss, I tense up, and deer in headlights just allow this unwanted kiss to happen, my mouth scrunched up in utter disgust. He pulls a back again and repeats, and again I just allow this to happen. “Whyyyyyyyyyyy!!???!?” I’m screaming at myself in my mind. Finally this awkward ass embrace ends, I feel even more disgusted, again with myself for non-verbally consenting to this shit through my inaction. And with him, at thinking this was okay at any point in time ever. 

He gives me a smile, I know I’ve got some kind of grimace-y forced smile on my face, and I’m super expressive especially in my facial reactions so theres no way I look okay/content/happy.

So he walks me to my car at the green p, and insists that we need to see each other again before leaves. I, still being the well-mannered, respectful, “gracious” young lady, say “probably not, but we’ll see” bc we’re both busy the next day, and he flies out the following morning. In my mind screaming at myself, why are you still keeping up appearances with this fucking piece of shit garbage face man.

We say our goodbyes, I speed off and that’s it for our encounter. I’m driving home, sad AF, just really really really disappointed in myself for letting it even get that far. So i’m just casually crying and driving home and that’s the end of that tale. 

I just felt so stupid, and gross, and just like I got played. And I’m just so upset with him for even trying that bullshit on me. Our exchanges have been the utmost of platonic, and for him to suggest or assume anything otherwise is just so predatory and gross. 

I suppose I’m really thankful because this whole situation could have sooooooooooo much worse, like a lot worse if he was a violent man. But strangely (and fucked-upedly), if he was more aggressive I would have felt so much more justified in acting more brash, maybe being more of a bitch, and really actually standing my ground wholeheartedly. 

I dunno this happened just last evening, like just over 24hrs ago (May 10th), so I’m still processing but I do feel a lot better about the whole situation, but still uber gross. 

This is a super long post, so 3 cheers if you made it through. 🙃

I journaled about it too the night of and that kind of helped. And I debriefed with my dad the following morning. He was surprisingly supportive and very understanding. I love my dad, but he’s the same guy who believes men should have multiple wives bc what’s a husband to do for sex after wife #1 has a baby...

But he made me feel better when he told me he hates when ppl especially men do things like this, and take advantage of women/the situation. With everything going on with the #metoomovement you’d think men in positions of power would be more cautious, he even stated this.. Although, he did ask me if I gave any signs or signals to encourage his behaviour (and I ran through the entire situation myself in my head, several times, thinking the same. Did I give off any vibes or behaviour to promote this? And I truly didn’t. Besides being friendly, naaaah. Which is still no excuse for him at all).  

My dad said I should confront him, and tell him how he made me feel. I just wanted to block him and pretend like he never existed. I found a happy medium and told him via what’s app, that he made me feel extremely uncomfortable and said that it was in no way my intention to lead him on if I had. He tried calling me back immediately after a few times, but I wasn’t ready to talk, so I ignored the calls. 

I tried calling him back several hours later (roughly 11ish hours later) bc 1) I’m kinda petty AF and wanted him to stew in his feelings like I had for hours 2) bc I did deserve an apology and maybe just some perspective on WTF he was thinking and where or what was he acting from.

He didn’t pick up and I’m high-key super grateful he didn’t, bc although I’m not horrible at it. But confrontation isn’t my strong suit. 

TL;DR: mentor figure betrays trust through unwanted sexual advancements and suggestions

#text post #sorry for the tldr #tldr i know #personal post #super personal post #abuse of power #mentorship gone wrong #disappointed #tw harassment

[somedaypast-thesunset]

U know. I cry for the world. I really do. But I cannot allow it into my own space which is any space my body currently occupies because I am not trapped and can choose to remove myself. Like, he made me feel like I wasn't sympathetic because I wouldn't let ppl like this in my home. I am sympathetic, not stupid. I would give a percent of money given to me to give all these ppl places that accomidate them.

He literally runs upstairs as I'm quietly eating my food by myself and asks why I'm a bitch. I tell him that's not really fair to say and I'm not interested in talking to him. He says it is fair to say because I'm being a bitch. I told him he's been pretty disrespectful from the start and I'm not interested in having a conversation. He says I'm the one being disrespectful because I owed him 50$ and he let it go cuz my partner is letting him stay at his house. My blinders went on briefly - like my brain clicked at that moment and we were no longer associates of any kind. Was I required to kiss your ass and buy your beer because you let my 50$ debt go for stupid reason? Who the fuck are you? And fine - fine. Thank you for debt forgiveness. But the fact you think I still owe you something - even a nicety, which I've given numerous times, is a person I don't want to know. I'll give you what I owe and nothing more. Why would I allow a dynamic in a personal relationship like that?

I got dressed and told my partner I would see him tomorrow as our friend jumps back and forth from saying he'll go and asking me why we can't have a "civil conversation".i told him I did nothing, I waited for him to be finished cooking so I could eat and now I'm upstairs because I don't want to hang out and now I'm leaving because this is disrespectful.

Finally he leaves and I feel uneasy. I know I'm there for my partner but I know he has feelings about it either way now and I don't know what to do because I don't want to talk to this guy again. So I tell him and say if he has a problem I'll leave. He says he has no problem it's between us he didn't want to be brought into it and now hes being brought in. Im like wtf rly. I'm sitting here eating a man came in and yelled that I'm a bitch and you think I brought you into this? Cuz I was the mature person who removed myself from a conflict seeking person? Fuck offfff. I told him fine, I would just go then. He said he's not mad but fine he'll see me tomorrow. I told him I'm not mad I have anxiety and no outlet so im leaving.

I called another mutual on the way home hoping for weed and a smoke. As I was on the phone I get a message from the first friend telling me he's sorry he was beligirent and he understands my point of view but "Jsyk I was offended too".

Our mutual said fuck him. But this is not really our friend. I know our friend very well and I know there is no way he would believe any different from his original stance unless someone explained how he might be in the wrong perspective. He spent days believing I was holding an attitude with him when I literally gave no fucks. I was nice, I hung out, I made and bought food, shared my weed and he continually had a disrespectful attitude towards me in every conversation I had and I was just over it because Ive really tightened my circle to not include people like him. I don't need it, I didn't do anything and I'm not going to be shit on because I shared what little I had and this guy is fucking crazy. Also I guess I'm ghetto but if a friend is shit on by someone in front of u, u back them up. My partner should have guilt for not saying hey what kind of language is that for a civil convo. But it's fine too because I'll remember this.

I sort of expect that my partner did tho. I feel our friend probably tried to approach him about it after I left and told him he was in the wrong for yelling at me and because he said "I hope we will talk again" to me implies my partner told him I'm not talking to him again as he could've said.. Nothing. Or hope we will be friends again? Hang out? It's just a weird admission of guilt that comes from my partners moral high grounds. Like he would never apologize to such degrees but he will tell u this is exactly how you should do it but it's our friend saying "Jsyk I was offended too". He's offended because every other friend knows I don't answer phone calls. I answer for like.. The government, doctors, my one friend and my partner. Otherwise I do not. It's a joke in my circle because I always answer texts. I always answer dms. I stopped fb but it was the same. Emails. If u call I will never call u back. A friend knows this. It's my quirk. It's fun. If it's an emergency, I'll know. It never is. I'm a confidante to people. Like I'm not a psychiatrist I'm a living diary where these people expect me to sit and listen to their problems and give them a certain level of wisdom and care and interaction or I'm not a friend. You and chantel and taff and Tom and Aaron and Jared and kitty. I sit and watch people. They are not my friend but I'm theirs and they wonder why at some point I check out and don't care about this shit they're doing. My partner falls into this and is probablt the absolute worst I've had so I have no room to do this for others and I think now it's like chosen victimhood when I remain friends and partners too. Like I know this person - I KNOWWWWWW this person because my job was to listen to all their shit. Like if knowledge is power im queen cuz I know. So I know they're fucked. I know. I could write a book verified by them of how fucked they are. And that means at some point they will be fucked again. That's their character. I dunno if that's who the fuck they are but it's what they presented. And being so close puts me within their fucked shit. Whether directed at me or not. Sam. No ones in my shit. No ones following my life. No one listens to me everyday except a girl I barely know in real life but force myself on her and literally don't know if she likes me or feels sorry for me but she's gracious. And even then I don't share everything. She's certainly not invested. This friend expected an investment further into listening to him because he made me feel bad and always wanted a relationship with me and when I was with my partner he was not super cool about it. I empathized and sympathized and wanted him to do well in life but I'd never be with him. I could barely be his friend. I barely liked him as my drug dealer. But I felt man. He criticized how I lived even though I'm not homeless. He is. And I don't want a point in my life where I'm arguing with a homeless man because our government gives you money. You make choices and I made the choice to use the same money not to be homeless and you decided to hitchhike. Logic. You are who you surround yourself with and I'm not this and I can't be the confidante of this while having everything I do responded to with a sigh of disappointment. It's a huge reason why I never called back when it was obvious he didn't get it. Why.

I liked my partners "I'm not mad". Really. He said it under his breath then quickly said "fine whatever see you". It was one of the first few shows of like "but I wanted you!" that he's made outside of sex. Like showing disappointment meant he had to involve himself into easing my anxiety which was too complicated and too much effort for him. He needed me to get over it.

I'm glad I left. I didn't argue with anyone but expressed how I felt and thought and left. I'm not replying to his apology because I'm going to blindly assume he spoke to my partner and I'm happier he said anything to defend me than I care about this apology. It's an action he would take instead of apologizing. He did something to help my anxiety and that's so much better than nothing. He is really trying to be consistent and elevated in his investment. I mean, this whole thing is fucked. But like... Iget along with him. He's the male figure in my life my parents demanded I needed for disciplinary purposes. But he's like a drunk army sergeant. U respect but he's a little fucked and sometimes makes u do questionable shit. But in the process youre somehow built into a better person and ur like yeah the army (relationship) was pretty great shaped me as a person but my drill (his personality) got drunk sometimes, cried and when u said ur uncomfortable got angry and threatened a discharge.

He has control of me but gives me freedom to the nth degree.