#disjointed thoughts

[lokiinmediasideblog]

Random disjointed thought, but is it me, or does MCU!Loki (especifically/most notably) in the Avengers (2012) movie, have A LOT of similarities to Dracula and it's not just the pasty skin and jet-black hair. I think this is most likely due to villain queer-coding.

Loki used the scepter on other men, has a multiple "Renfields", and it feels coded similarly to biting. Avengers (2012), is technically a "What if the West gets invaded?" narrative, a popular narrative in Victorian literature such as Dracula and War of the Worlds.

#weird fact about me: dracula was my first blorbo thanks van helsing (2003) #mcu!loki #dracula #avengers (2012) #disjointed thoughts #villain queercoding #loki is now canonically queer

[thewritehag]

I'm getting to a place where I can start going through my parents' documents. I hate the texture of old paper, but I have gloves because it's almost definitely harmless, but I don't want to touch it. I'd like to just toss it all into an industrial shredder and have done, but parts of mom and dad are still in those files. Probably. It's been over three years. You'd think I'd have dealt with it sooner. I did go through them all once, to see if I could find a letter my brother wrote to my dad about how he divorced the family (he's such a tool), in case he wanted to move in on the property that was entirely mine, except in writing. I did find missionary letters from another brother, letters from bootcamp (from the one above) before he grew into his tooldom, and a hank of my hair from what I assume is one of my first haircuts. It went down to my butt and now it's a green tuft on my head. I'll make a pincushion with it.

#disjointed thoughts #not much to say here #nothing to see here #nothing to see #move it along

[disgruntled-detectives]

So um. Yeah. Im sad.

I lost a lot of friends in the leftist online spaces over the last month. I personally believe that both Jews and Palestinians have indigenous connections to the Levant and both groups have a right to exist. I believe Israel has a right to exist and hell, I even believe that to an extent, Israel is necessary given the millennia’s of forced, violent expulsion of the Jewish people from nearly every single country they settled in. The amount of leftists I’ve had calling me and Jewish people in general vermin, pigs, colonists, and actively advocating for my death is fun.

And from the other side, the amount of outright terrible propaganda I’ve seen calling Palestinians animals, and that they don’t have a right to the land they’ve been in for centuries, and that they deserve Israel committing genocide against them, is horrific. That they are the same as Hamas. The Islamophobia I’ve seen is utterly disgusting.

And no matter how many times I say that more than one thing can be true at the same time, that both groups have rights to that land, AND that Israel has a right to exist AND so does Palestine, AND what the Israeli govt is doing is indefensible and disgusting. AND Hamas is a terrorist organization that is also disgusting and indefensible, AND That a ceasefire is necessary.

That both Islamophobia AND antisemitism is indefensible. That Hamas does not equal Palestine AND Israeli does not equal the Israeli government. That Muslims in the diaspora do not deserve to be treated badly and neither do Jews.

But no. People are allergic to nuance. People refuse to spend more than five seconds actually reading and listening to the people affected. This whole war is reduced to lil two second easy to digest sound bites.

#I/P #personal #disjointed thoughts #murder is bad y’all

[rangedreign]

i think realistic art style games are cool actually, not a fan of 'i want worse games with shitter graphics and i'm not kidding' (i want great games with great graphics made by people who aren't being abused for their creative output and don't have to struggle with money to live well, even if that means it takes a very long time for games to release! ...but i digress)

i think global illumination/real time ray tracing is the final frontier in terms of texture, materials, and lighting. fighting file size creep with textures is something i think large studios should put more effort into, 100gb should be the absolute max. at that point you're paying ~$10 extra just to store it on an ssd.

improving realism in the future will be more about motion- simulation in favor of static animations.

#disjointed thoughts #get dumpt onto tumblrrrr

[dowagergreen]

look i know i’ve seen a lot of edits with would’ve could’ve should’ve for a.licent and v.iserys. very valid. but has anyone considered the second verse of high infidelity bc.... 

storm coming good husband, bad omen dragged my feet right down the aisle  at the house lonely, good money  i’d pay if you’d just know me seemed like the right thing at the time you know there’s many different ways that you can kill the one you love the slowest way is never loving them enough 

#OOC. #just having many many thoughts today #disjointed thoughts #but thoughts all the same

[snowddeong]

What type of jersey is it I need to know for mental health reasons

#snowdd.txt #snow is gay lmao #losing my mind over this fit 😭 #former soccer players? #disjointed thoughts

[inkobsessedfreak]

Absolutely metal on paper, gorgeous, beautiful

In practice? Absolutely disastrous and leads to a long line of generational trauma and conflict

#disjointed thoughts

[imagine-shenanigans]

thinking about you going up to three broad shouldered men in a bar because your crazy ex/some random creep/etc is following you and you beg them to pretend they know you. You slide into the empty space at the table theyve commandeered and right as the other guy comes up a scary looking big motherfucker with a balaclava and eyeblack slots himself right in next to you. You press yourself into his side when the creep comes up and you call Ghost your boyfriend, and Ghost (as you later learn to call him) grabs your hip possessively, tucking you in closer.

He doesn't let you go, later, when the creep fucks off. Instead, he slips your phone out of your pocket and puts his contact inside. Texts himself and slips it back into your pocket while making eye contact. Blows smoke in your face and snorts when you wave it away, huffing at him and sticking your cute little tongue out at him.

You have fun with the military men that night, Ghost even walks you home to feel safe. You wake up the next day, happy to be safe and sound, and go about your day. Forget all about Ghost for awhile, because he never texts you first.

Weeks later, youre in the middle of your kitchen when he walks in, a copy of your key in his hand. Slots himself in behind you and rests his chin on your head even when you panic and claw at him.

What? He's home now, came home to you, his partner. Just like you wanted, right? You wanted him, now you've got him.

#ghost cod #cod #mod strawberry #strawberry writing #just a disjointed thought i might expand on later #hes large and yummy your honor #amd a freak

[anouri]

#august #idk what i’m going on about #sometimes my thoughts are too loud and i have to write them down and then there’s nothing to do with them #so maybe i’ll share them here and realize i am not alone in my restlessness #i don’t know #mine #burden of physicality #disjointed thoughts #a decomposing dump of my thoughts

[theteapotofdoom]

AFO and Tomura really said "to be loved is to be changed" but in the most nightmarish and horrifying way possible and that’s kind of slay tbh

People should write academic essays about the relationship between AFO and Tomura and I’m dead serious about this. It’s so fucking crazy … you take the last descendant of your worst enemy and you make yourself the only good thing in his life, painting the world around him as cold and detached without compassion, until the emotion he can feel without being sick is hate.

BUT THEN IN DOING ALL THAT you also recreate your younger brother through him … a brother that you were completely codependent with, until he left you because you needed him more than he needed you, so you make sure that his replacement will be completely devoted to you. And it goes even further because your ultimate goal is to fuse with this boy, and by doing so, making your brother’s replacement a literal part of you forever and also completely corrupting and destroying your enemy’s legacy in the process.

Insane. Need to read an essay about this.

This is making me realize that one of the things that makes AFO so fun as a villain is how everything is personal with him. He is petty, childish, emotional, but also cunning, charismatic and manipulative … much like his quirk, he literally just takes the things he wants.

#if this post makes no sense it’s because it’s a thread I wrote on twitter one thought after the other #so that’s why it feels disjointed when put it all together in one post #but I still wanted to share it on tumblr because I think about this a lot #my hero academia #bnha #shigaraki tomura #afo #all for one #tomura shigaraki #mha #boku no hero academia

[chaoticsorceress]

The god Gale ending may be a good ending for a Tav who is in a romance with him but it isn't a good ending for Gale. I think that may be where the confusion lies. 

There are themes in BG3 that what you want isn't always what you need. Yes Gale wants godhood to help people but it isn't what he needs. He wants so badly to prove that he is worthy of your friendship or love but he doesn't need to change into a god to do that. He needs to see that he is enough just the way he is. That he is already worthy of so much. That he can help people without becoming a god. That the people around him value and love him because he's Gale not because of the magic he commands. They cherish Gale Dekarios not Gale of Waterdeep and certainly not the God of Ambition.

#My rambling and disjointed thoughts #I have more I want to say but idk how to word it right yet #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale #what you want isn't always what you need! #He doesn't need to change and lose the most important parts of himself. He loses so much of himself when he ascends.

[mae-i-scribble]

tonight i was thinking about orv’s theme about how yjh as a character, and to a larger extent people, will in some ways always be unknowable. (orv spoilers following, read at your own risk)

i feel like i’ve seen a few posts on here that somewhat take this theme to an extreme, leaning *hard* into that “kdj doesn’t actually know yjh like at all” which while on the right track, i feel completely misses the point. Orv goes out of its way to showcase that kdj actually understands yjh to a scary degree, even once they’re out of the early scenarios and the gap between kdj’s knowledge and yjh’s personhood grows larger, there are still things about yjh that *only* kdj can fundamentally understand. And I don’t think that the novel does anything to discredit that understanding, only says that there is much more to yjh. In the same manner, even if you’ve known someone for years, spent all your time with them, there can and will always be new things for you to learn about them. The danger that orv speaks of is trusting in that assumption, that your understanding will be enough and you don’t have to keep an eye out for more developments. That the person you know will forever stay the same. And this isn’t a kdj problem either, fundamentally a lot of the big disagreements that happen between kdj and yjh in the latter half of the novel are born from both of them misconstruing what the other is thinking, trusting that their understanding of the other is deep enough to base their judgements off of. (Post first murim destruction, divorce arc, yjh thinking kdj scattered his soul on purpose, etc.)

As always with orv’s themes, we can view it in a meta sense as well. Kdj’s understanding of yjh as a character is so complete that it’s nearly flawless- until the story begins to deviate and a yjh grows outside the parameters that kdj’s judgements are based on. Even before then, there was always more to yjh- but as readers, we can only understand a character as much as we see them. What you come away with from a story is your complete understanding, there is no growth outside of those boundaries because then it wouldn’t be an understanding of *that* character, you would be putting your own ideas and such into it. But talk to another person, and suddenly the same character you understand so clearly becomes someone else. Talk to the author, and they say something completely different. And can one truly claim to understand a character when the story will never talk about them in every conceivable way? What does it take to truly understand such a thing? Learning that 1863rd round hsy wrote ways of survival with such limited resources and knowledge on who yjh even is, and yet despite it all, still manages to write a story that captures so much of his essence. As orv readers, we know it isn’t everything- it could never encapsulate all of yjh, but the idea that even when one knows nearly nothing, you can still put on a facade of understanding.

We can get into a chicken or the egg argument with this, as 1863!hsy dictates how yjh acts with her writing, and that yjh in the 1863rd round is the one she comes to know before ever starting this story, but when it comes to this theme of the unknowable in the people around us, I don’t think this sort of debate is worth much. We know that yjh exists outside the story written, and how much of him is determined by hsy’s writing is negligible because no matter what, he always grows beyond it. Whether as 1864 or secretive plotter, it all comes back to that same point of there is always more to see within a person.

I don’t know quite where I want to go with this, only that I wanted an outlet for some of these thoughts inside my head, but one of the best things about this theme for me is how it answers itself. When the people around you become unrecognizable, what should you do? And orv says to reach out. To try. To understand. Kdj loses access to omniscient reader several times but always, always gains it back in orv (as far as i remember), because at the end of the day, he is not someone who stays trapped in his idea of who he knows yjh to be. Yjh too, even at the end of orv, is trying to learn more and more about kdj. Only when you are willing to hear out the other person, to learn about them every day, does this unknowable aspect become something less daunting.

#orv #omniscient reader #omniscient readers viewpoint #kim dokja #yoo joonghyuk #joongdok #meta #analysis #it just kinda ended up kdj and yjh focused because this is what the theme is most applicable too #i wish i had more thoughts on how 1863 wrote WoS bc that definitely fits in here more than what i said about it #i think too it can be applied to ysa and kdj #while not as relevant as it is with yjh since their relationship doesnt stretch back as far #they still spend so much of this novel learning more and more about each other #compared to back at minosoft where at least to me it looked like they already had an idea of who the other was as a person #so sorry if this is disjointed i need to stop writing meta as 3 am #in my defense its the only time my thoughts come out like this #on the verge of sleep #orv spoilers #omniscient reader spoilers #i forgot them early on my bad

[landoffreaksandfrogs]

im thinking about trans kanaya again.... just like. what it means characterwise. its so important to me that kanaya has a fucked up relationship to gender you don't understand

both transfem and transmasc btw. it's interesting in different ways for each

what do you do when you know of motherhood but not the words to describe it. what are you when you are not a mother.

#ask #transgendercrt #kanaya maryam #lofaf art #a lot of disjointed thoughts in a shitty wikipedia poem #but like. you get it. you get it. the. the relationship between gender that weighs on her.

[firethekitty]

my thesis

text if it's hard to read and some explanations under the cut:

vash & angel devil:

human-looking but not actually human

passively suicidal

wings

no body autonomy: forced to do things by humans and other devils/plants

hates killing

every time they’ve killed was against their will: angel devil has never gone out of his way to kill a human. vash intentionally kills only one person in the entire manga and he fucking hated it

passive aggressive and stubborn

inherently religious but don’t actually care about religion: they're both angels but they never show any interest or knowledge of religion (and actively show disdain for it at times)

technically immortal

black-haired women they loved dearly but inadvertently caused the deaths of

memory loss

don’t want to be as strong and deadly as they are

angel:

doesn’t bother masking

“hates all humans” but not actually (it’s complicated)

doomed by the narrative

vash:

masks constantly

“loves all humans” but not actually (it’s complicated)

the narrative’s favorite

wolfwood & aki:

doomed by the narrative

die young

smoke

childhood stolen from them: forced to grow up too fast

orphans

appear cold and distant but actually care way too much about everything

black hair

have no problem with killing (until they meet someone who changes their morals)

pretend to be cool but are actually losers

haunted by guns

blunt and rude, loners

their enemy(ies) become the only ones who they truly feel comfortable with: vash for wolfwood; denji, power, and angel for aki

by the time they realize they want to live, it’s already too late

aki:

modern-ish day japan: chainsaw man part 1 takes place during like the mid-90s, i'm not sure if that constitutes as "modern" anymore

horrible death: become the thing you once feared

not great with kids (but trying his best)

was never scared of angel

meaningless death: this does NOT mean his death shouldn't have happened!!! "meaningless" in the narrative sense; everything he did and worked towards was for nothing

wolfwood:

distant future on another planet

peaceful death

great with kids

scared of vash at first, but overtime came to trust him more than anyone else

meaningful death: he finished what he set out to do, which was always to save the orphanage. and he achieved this with vash's help (he knew vash would do anything he could to help after he died)

vashwood & akiangel:

doomed

change each other for the better

human x angel

narrative foils

#GOD I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE i feel like this is really disjointed #but if anyone is interested in more organized thoughts/analysis let me know!! #trigun #trimax #chainsaw man #vashwood #akiangel #trigun spoilers #chainsaw man spoilers #meta #mine #talking