#did you say physically disabled

[demonized-infodumps]

I’ve recently gotten told about what could be wrong with me, and one of the things requires using a mobility aid.

My partner is wanting to go ahead and get a mobility aid for me but I’m afraid of how much stigma there is about those already paired on top of us being a system with demonized pds (npd, hpd, & bpd).

I’m afraid that we’ll be going out one day and I’ve already promised to ease their worries that I’ll use it or have it with me as a just in case and someone will see the opportunity to take it from me as a means of “joking.”

And I’m afraid that our chronic pain will flare and will make it to where we can’t walk for minutes to hours on end and be stranded. Or have to be carried through the entire park.

I’m trying to prepare myself for the dirty looks I’ll get or people coming up to me or mocking me while we’re trying to have a fun day, but I know it’ll still be harmful to see in person.

I wish there was less stigmatization and demonization of people using a mobility aid to help them. I wish I didn’t have to have the worry of having it taken from me or being mocked/laughed at just for living. I want to be able to do things.

That and then being babied and told to rest constantly makes me feel completely useless and upset. I can still do things for myself. Just because I’m having to use an aid doesn’t mean I’m instantly just not able to fend for myself.

Though, I appreciate people opening doors for me. That’s a gesture I enjoy having.

.

#demonized asks #did you say disabled #did you say physically disabled #mobility aid #chronic pain #stigma #stigmatization #demonization #mobility #mobility aids

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[spookietrex]

So I don't use a lot of social media for this very specific reason: I find that there are a lot of ableist and stigmatized attitudes and I no longer have the energy to fight sometimes. (I realize this is a stereotype but I am speaking from my experience.) But outside of Tumblr, I do have a friend/dating (am not dating just use for friends/meeting people in my area) app installed that I mostly ignore. However, today, I got a notification that the app's question of the day was "Would you date someone who is disabled and can't walk?" Here are some of the top posts from that. As a disabled person, I am thoroughly disgusted. (Except by the meme. That person wins.)

I used to be part of this (sometimes unknowingly) ableist culture and actually identified as differently abled myself because I was so high-masking. I used to think that because I was AuDHD I could say differently abled because I was super creative. But that's not showing the full picture. My autism is disabling in the sense that I have meltdowns if things don't go a certain way, I have to have my things sorted in a certain way before I can play with them, there are certain rules/I can be bossy/very rigid when engaging with others because I don't understand social rules. The list goes on.

It's called a disability because it disables you. My autism doesn't make me fucking superman. I can't fly because of it. I can't do things that neurotypical people can't. Sometimes I can notice patterns? But I also have multiple meltdowns and it takes me 45 minutes+ to figure out how to fix an error I made when I accidentally shipped something to the wrong place....I have a master's degree and had a 4.0 in grad school. I was HIGH MASKING because I knew how to play the game. Just because I look like I can do things doesn't mean I'm not just scripting my way through it. I just read a lot and like research. I used to write 20 page research papers for fun. My EDS, fibromyalgia, and POTS all impact my ability to stand and walk. I use a wheelchair the majority of the time. That also doesn't suddenly mean I can see through walls or have telekinesis.

You know what it means? It means I lay in bed the majority of the time with my heating pad, THC cream, muscle relaxers, ibuprofen, and numerous braces, and just try to not go out of my mind. Which is hard when you're also mentally disabled. So like that person is just spreading harmful misinformation.

Let's talk about the person who said they can't run away. O.o Like I assume they're joking but like that's hella creepy. Red flags. I'll hit him with my cane if I have to.

#disabilities #disabled #physically disabled #disability #disabilties #disability advocacy #invisible disability #physical disability #cripplepunk #queer cripple #misinformation #differently abled #this is my fascist hitting stick #cripple punk #angry cripple #crip punk #c punk #eds zebra #fuck you eds #the ableds are at it again #shit abled people say #ableism #ableist language cw #wtf did i just read #actually autistic #actually disabled #chronicillness #chronic illness #chronic pain #disability humor

[healingheartdogs]

Cardio said my echocardiogram ultrasound, exercise stress test, and week long heart monitor all showed no serious issues, my resting heart rate is fine, but that my heart rate does seem to rise very rapidly under even small amounts of stress (postural changes, taking stairs, casually walking around my house) and rises very high (160+ bpm according to the monitor) so now I get to be put on beta blockers to see if they work and if they do she said that is sufficient evidence to confirm for sure that it's POTS.

Obviously could confirm it as well with a tilt table test but those are TORTURE based off what I've heard from fellow POTSies so I am very thankful that she doesn't think that's necessary and will not be making me do one.

#i was not expecting to get dx and meds this fast tbh but im very happy about it #i think the fact that she also has POTS herself helps because she is very well acquaintaned with what it looks and feels like #and how hard it is to actually catch with orthostatics in office unless youre having a bad heart day #so my orthostatics not being within range was unsurprising to her and she was like #'that doesnt mean anything you clearly still have a heart rate issue going on even if it didnt show itself right now' #i didnt do shit the entire week i had that monitor on to like physically exert myself but my heart rate still hit almost 170 a few times #also the doctor who did my stress test asked me if i ever experience any chest discomfort or pain and i was like hm no dont think so #and he went 'your chart says you have palpitations though?' #and i was like '... those count as discomfort???' akdjaicidjwjcjsn the answer is yes apparently #im just so used to them now because i have them daily that they dont even really register to me anymore #unless theyre bad enough to knock the wind out of me or make me cough #they just make me anxious which... ig is also a form of discomfort #chronic illness and chronic pain problems though lol not having a normal baseline for discomfort and pain #ndr #not dog related #health stuff #not that anyone probably cares lol but im excited about getting things that have neen affecting me for years FINALLY figured out #im not crazy im just disabled!!!! #*been

[song-writer-melo-wrath]

I think every time I joke about how sore my everything is when stretching and someone goes “you're too young to be in pain” I should be allowed to commit one (1) arson.

#athy rambles #someone did this to me and I straight up went #'oh I've had many people say that! AND YET!' 'and yet you still complain?' #[me smiling with so much fury] 'and yet I wake up in pain every day!' #like bist on a christycle it's remarks like that that made me doubt that I 'counted' as physically disabled #when I WAKE UP WITH NAUSEA HALF THE DAYS AND BENEFIT FROM WALKING WITH A CANE BECAUSE SOMETIMES I SHAKE *THAT MUCH*

[delusion-of-negation]

90% of "your group never experiences X like my group" could be solved by people asking "hey do you ever experience X or things like it?" first just to be sure, and 90% of "you think my group isn't experiencing X like yours" could be solved by asking "do you think my group experiences X or things like it?" before jumping to that conclusion based on misunderstanding what they said, sorry bro.

#like I saw someone say trans guys never experience a thing they very much experience earlier and I was like my dude just ask first #but also I a physically disabled person once got accused of saying physically disabled people have it easier when I literally never did #so like I think stop assuming what people have been through and stop assuming what people are saying and then we can all collab #y'know like high school musical we're all in this together fucking dance the bigots back to hell or something idk but just ask things #this post is about like tumblr posts that make wild assumptions about like straight people have never enjoyed halloween or crap #like obviously the assumption someone born rich has never been poor is like inherent definitionally and is not really just tumblr shit #but it'd be ironic given the whole point if one of you jumped to a conclusion about what I meant so go ahead and make my point

[void-tiger]

What do I want? I want to be seen as a peer.

#tiger’s roar #mental health bullshit #…and I feel further away than ever with my damn disability that I got told was psychosomatic without directly saying those words #because unstable tendons that pop grind sproing every time I really do anything #can’t Possibly be painful #or WHY my muscletone and stamina is shit #oh noooo it MUST be all in my head nevermind I CAN’T TAKE SEROTONIN. every drug with it makes me suicidal or worse #…anyway. I will be stranded as soon as I move out to attend university #which is only possible with taking out yet more student debt #and keeping a credit load far higher than I could ever do (nevermind my physical disability) #to keep my scholarship. and then Hope I still get a Pell + misc school scholarships #but there’s No Way around I Won’t be able to cope with a job with 15 credits mentally even if I could physically #…yEAH I’m Terrified. and I’m sick to death of people telling me to NOT take out loans #when this is The Only Way to pay rent and tuition to Even Attend At All #…and ALL Of This ontop of… you want to spend time with me? NOW that you’re at the end of your master’s and I’ll be getting things in order? #Do You See Me As A Creative Peer Or Someone Who Could Be One #or am I just a Pretty Gurl Who’s A Poor Lost Waif Who Sings Pretty #…you never did tell me what you thought of my script’s draft #and have been suspiciously Silent about your own art #do you REALIZE that to do ANYTHING together…you’re gonna have to drive. and I don’t want to do anything that costs money #because 1) it feels unbalanced (regardless if it’s a date or simply hanging out. but your body language screams Date?? not Hangout) #and 2) …I’ll be needing to keep a fisthold control of my finances as it’s gonna be stuck as reimbursements + debt #I…cannot see how I can mentally or physically take on a job. nevermind nobody’s wanted me to work for them for anything not janitorial #…so…yeah. how the hell can I even feel like anyone’s peer #when I’ll be at least a decade older. mentally ill. disabled. and can’t work because of it #how am I supposed to feel like anything but a porceline doll with rotting rubber joint connections + glockinspeal

[luxrayz64]

i think jigsaw would be pro life he's so petty and puts people in traps for literally anything he would absolutely put someone in a trap for getting an abortion

#espeon cries #the thought is haunting me #bro doesn't understand like. mental illness. how being poor correlates to crimes. what drug addiction is/means #paul jeff adam and amanda r all proof of that #and he also immediately ditches jill for being assaulted and suffering a miscarriage #?? #like she says that she feels like he blamed HER for that #me when I don't view women as people what the fuck #anyway peepaw is pro life for sure #the politics of the jigsaw killer: exactly as fucked as you expect #he's also just so insanely petty and spiteful. my son was killed in the womb and you dont DARE appreciate the fetus you dont want? #to the dick smasher with ye #i mean his entire thing is 'I got cancer so im going to torture people into living life in what I deem to be a fulfilling way' #because obviously giving people ptsd + physical disabilities will help them appreciate their lives but what #fucking ever #why did the tag cut like that huh #anyway

[inmirova]

ik it's been said but it's truly insane to me how many people believe there's like. a vast conspiracy of individuals faking chronic illnesses bc like. I cannot imagine anyone who is able bodied who would choose to inconvenience themselves with potentially dangerous treatments or mobility aids that would only hinder them because they already have a full and painless range of motion. if someone /was/ going through that and truly didn't have those illnesses I think that means they have a different illness and they still deserve compassionate treatment

#sorry i saw an 'illness fakers' thing again and i was consumed by fury #like as someone who has been accused of faking illness bc im good at masking my symptoms up to a point #who has friends who have complained about the same thing happening to them #i just dont understand how someone in the community could accuse people of faking & of being a bad person bc of it #like okay maybe they dont actually have this. but did they subconsciously manifest symptoms bc they believe they do? #is that any less real? #or do they not experience symptoms at all but theyre using it to 'get attention'? okay well clearly they need human connection & compassion #if you deny them that how will they ever feel safe enough to admit that theyre physically okay? #idk. i dont think i have experience with people who have factitious disorder but i guess i cant say for sure #i just think theres a real lack of care for the people who do struggle with it that probably makes it worse #like i dont think theyre abled fakers yknow? i think its a disability unto itself and therefore it deserves fair treatment

[irregularbillcipher]

anyway i don’t have any baggage to work through about being born with severe unexpected birth defects why do you ask

#to be clear my parents were not perfect but loved me very much #and always did their best to take care of my physical health #i don’t want to imply otherwise between the irregularity stuff #and ny characterization with jimmy and joeys mom #and terry’s family #my parents and I had our issues but they pretty much always did the best they could wrt my disabilities #even when they messed up they really and truly cared #but man. it sucks knowing you were not the kid they expected or were hoping for from day one #even when they don’t outwardly say it… anyway shapes!!!

[averwonders]

I have thoughts about that one particular scene from Ae Watan, Mere Watan (2024) towards the end of the movie when Usha and Fahad have to decide on who will make the ultimate sacrifice of running the radio for the final time.

#like it icked some parts #one side bro was lamenting his helpless feeling that comes from being physically disabled #and 😭😭😭 sis counters it by saying she's a girl #like i get whatever nationalistic inspiration and sacrificial urges were being portrayed by the conversation #like both of them were equally dedicated towards the nation #both of them came from different backgrounds with their own struggles #but the dialogue structures had me baffled #😭😭😭 #like #okay #why you tryna downplay the struggles of one by camparing it to the other #bollywood dramatics at it's peak #i wonder if the OG Usha Mehta would've complied in the same manner #intersectional feminism ki dhajjiyan #aver does shit post #i wish i could post the dialogues here just for the context #man they could've done a way better job on the script #usha mehta did not deserve such a raddi script #ae watan mere watan #Bollywood

[talkingattumble]

Hi guys! Here’s some advice from a cane user on how to spot a fake cane user/disability faker!

YOU CANT

You can not spot a “fake disabled” cane user. You can not know if someone’s “really disabled”, much less by just looking at them. Here are some common misconceptions.

“Cane users always need their canes. If they walk without it or put it away when it’s inconvenient, they’re faking”: WRONG! Many cane users are what we call “ambulatory” cane users. This means they don’t always need their canes to walk. I’m an ambulatory cane user, and I experience really horrible leg pain on the daily. However, I don’t always use my cane, and when I don’t need to walk or stand a lot in a certain place I don’t use it. And when I do use it, I may lift it off the ground or carry it in places that are sandy, gravelly, or otherwise hinder my cane.

“Cane users walk abnormally without their canes, someone who walks normally without their cane is faking”: WRONG! Many ambulatory cane users can walk in a way that seems “normal”. This doesn’t mean they’re not in pain, or not “really disabled”. This just means that their condition doesn’t cause a noticeable difference in walking, and likely manifests in a different way.

“Cane users always need their cane, someone who doesn’t use their cane at home is faking”: WRONG! Cane users may not use their canes at home, because at home they may be able to do things like sit down wherever and whenever, regain more spoons, and use other mobility aids. Additionally, some ambulatory cane users only need or use their canes when they are doing something physically taxing, like going on a hike or standing in a long line.

“My cane user friend told me this person looks like they’re faking, so it must be true”: WRONG! Being a cane user doesn’t immediately make you an expert on all different conditions and experiences. Your friend does not know the random cane user walking down the street, they are going off looks and stereotypes. Disabled people are not immune to being ableist.

“They enjoy their cane too much/they’re too happy/they decorate their cane, so they can’t actually be in enough pain to need a cane” WRONG! We’re people like everyone else, and we experience positive emotions too, even if we go through a lot of pain. To me, customizing my cane is like getting a tattoo or putting streaks in my hair, it’s a way of self expression. And we deserve to be able to talk openly about our full experience, which include the parts we’re neutral or happy about.

“They’re one of those cringey teenagers who name themselves arson and like dsmp, so they’re probably faking” WRONG! Do I even have to explain why saying someone isn’t disabled because of their name and interests is messed up and also stupid? Or did you already know that and just wanted to make fun of a disabled teenager?

“They’re too young to be using a cane, so they must be faking” WRONG! there are lots of disabilities or injuries that can cause young people to need a mobility aid. For example, I use a cane for my fibromyalgia.

“They only use it in private places, and never in places where people recognize them, so they must be faking” WRONG! In a world where anyone can just randomly take out their phone, take a picture of a cane user, and post them online to be made fun of, it can be stressful to use a cane in public areas. Also, they may not want people to ask questions, or they may feel embarrassed about it.

“I saw them switch hands, so they must be faking” WRONG! There are different reasons a cane used might do this, but I’m going to use my experience as an example. My fibromyalgia is not consistent. Sometimes one leg hurts more then the other. But as I said, fibromyalgia is inconsistent, and sometimes my other leg will start to hurt more or need more support, which is when I switch hands. And when both my legs hurt equally, I may switch my hand if it’s getting too sore.

“They told me they feel like they’re faking when they use their cane, doesn’t that mean they don’t really need it?” WRONG! Imposter syndrome is strong in a lot of disabled people, especially when for a lot of our lives we were told by doctors that we were fine and just being dramatic. Anxiety is also comorbid with a lot of physically disabilities, which only strengthens this. To add to this, something that I’ve felt and seen other disabled people talk about it, when their disability aid lessens the pain, they start thinking “well I’m not in that much pain so I don’t really need it” even though the reason they’re not in that much pain is because of the aid. I know it seems dumb, but imposter syndrome can be that strong and affects disabled people a lot.

“They don’t have a diagnosis, so they must be faking” WRONG! First of all, diagnoses are expensive. On their own they’re often already expensive, but counting the tons of tests you have to take to confirm the diagnosis? Absolutely ludicrous. Some may also choose not to get a diagnosis, so that they don’t have to deal with the prejudice and setbacks of being diagnosed. Also, some people use a cane for injuries, and for stress or fatigue related pains.

These are only a few of the things I commonly hear from fakeclaimers, and I wanted to just put out a reminder that fakeclaiming hurts the disabled community much, much more than it does ableists. Next time you see someone with a cane switch hands, or someone with a wheelchair stand up, or someone with crutches put them down, before you immediately call them out to a friend, take a picture, or write a post: does your fakeclaim rely on stereotypes? Are your reasons things that apply to ambulatory aid users?

If so, just stop. Be mindful. Please.

#fuck fakeclaimers #fakeclaiming cw #anti fakeclaiming #disability #cane user #mobility aid #ableism mention #fibromyalgia #mobility aid user

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

autism awareness & autism acceptance not either or. not mutually exclusive. can coexist. need coexist.

“there enough awareness for autism already 🙄 we need acceptance”

ok. you aware of high support needs autism? aware what that even means? not “need reminder take meds need remind take shower” “high” support needs autism, but “need full physical help do bADLs lack danger awareness may accidentally hurt self or even kill self without support” high support needs autism? not just higher support needs people who can be independently online do advocacy, but those who need help from others even be online, or those who cannot be online at. all.?

aware of nonverbal nonspeaking people? not just nonverbal nonspeaking people who can write grammatically correct cannot tell apart base on writing. not just nonverbal nonspeaking people who can be online who can advocate online.

aware of nonverbal nonspeaking people who cannot communicate in way that easily understood, either for now, or ever? aware of nonverbal nonspeaking people without functional communication, aware of how without functional communication, how that drastically limit communication, even though behaviors are valid communication? aware of nonverbal nonspeaking people who may never use AAC fluently even with best support?

aware of technically verbal but very limited verbal autistics who may only able say wants & needs but not other things and certainly not online advocacy, “despite being verbal”?

aware of just how much our life depends on caregiver/carer/PCA/etc? aware how vulnerable that make us? aware of abuse from caregivers? aware of caregiver burnout from lack of support for caregivers, & how that impact our care we receive? have you even heard of term respite care? aware of those of us who cannot separate ourselves from caregiver? aware of those of us who cannot participate in autism community without caregiver?

aware of visibly autistic people? aware how we not automatically believed? aware how we often bear blunt of violence because we most easily identified target because we visible? aware visible =/= get support, aware that many those diagnosed severe who now adult so no longer qualify for services under 21 year old, languish in hospitals because nowhere to go? aware how long life saving necessary waitlists are? aware that even to this day parents have to fight school fight day service fight government fight insurance for them give their nonverbal nonspeaking child AAC & be properly taught how use it? actually, are you aware of how properly teach AAC to nonverbal nonspeaking, developmentally delayed child who may or may not have intellectual disability?

actually, aware of autistics with (correctly diagnosed) intellectual disability & how they make up big amount of autistic? aware of institutional systemic & legal impact of mental [r word] right & the human rights abuse justified using r word right? wait, you aware that r word come from old term for intellectual disability, that, actually, still in many laws because no one bothered updating, right? aware of what severe profound ID look like? and aware they real and they still human deserve education deserve life deserve care, yes?

aware of early diagnosis 20 30 or even 10 years ago, not same as now, even less resources & knowledge about autism now? aware that while gender race class 1000% impacted diagnoses, a lot of early diagnosed people early diagnosed because… they die without support unlocked by diagnosis, right? but also, aware that in old times, early diagnosis often did mean doom, not because autism bad or anything, but because severe lack of support & diagnosis can literally bar you from so many things including basic education?

aware that for many people in special education, which impact specific group of autistic people, they not get degree when graduate high school, they just get certificate, which limit their educational & employment opportunities & others?

aware of life saving importance and necessity of masking for autistic of color especially Black autistic people, despite stress inducing traumatic? aware that live in broken system be victim of hate crime & police brutality just as traumatic often even more traumatic than masking? aware that many Black & other parents of color forced to teach their child masking because of this?

are you aware of most marginalized autistic people? aware of leadership of most impacted?

aware you can and need to care about autistic experiences & form of autism you not experience? aware that you can and need to do that without try twist your experience into our experience into our words our community?

aware that advocacy goes beyond about you?

aware that you can’t speak for all autistic? aware that you shouldn’t speak for all autistic?

are you aware of when you need to stop talking & listen & amplify others? aware of when and how to decenter self?

aware that even this long post, barely scratch surface? still so much to say?

[better worded version of original post]

#loaf screm #actually autistic #autism acceptence month #autism awareness #autism awareness month #high support needs #long post #nonverbal #nonspeaking #autism #autistic #autism acceptance

[hashtagloveloses]

The headline is pretty awful but this is one of those things that gets worse as you read it:

The 14-page petition, filed in Shelby County, Tennessee, probate court, alleges that Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy, who took Oher into their home as a high school student, never adopted him. Instead, less than three months after Oher turned 18 in 2004, the petition says, the couple tricked him into signing a document making them his conservators, which gave them legal authority to make business deals in his name.

"Michael Oher discovered this lie to his chagrin and embarrassment in February of 2023, when he learned that the Conservatorship to which he consented on the basis that doing so would make him a member of the Tuohy family, in fact provided him no familial relationship with the Tuohys."

Oher was a rising high school senior when he signed the conservatorship papers, and he has written that the Tuohys told him that there was essentially no difference between adoption and conservatorship. "They explained to me that it means pretty much the exact same thing as 'adoptive parents,' but that the laws were just written in a way that took my age into account," Oher wrote in his 2011 best-selling memoir "I Beat the Odds."

But there are some important legal distinctions. If Oher had been adopted by the Tuohys, he would have been a legal member of their family, and he would have retained power to handle his own financial affairs. Under the conservatorship, Oher surrendered that authority to the Tuohys, even though he was a legal adult with no known physical or psychological disabilities.

While the [movie] deal allowed the Tuohys to profit from the film, the petition alleges, a separate 2007 contract purportedly signed by Oher appears to "give away" to 20th Century Fox Studios the life rights to his story "without any payment whatsoever." The filing says Oher has no recollection of signing that contract, and even if he did, no one explained its implications to him.

The [movie] deal lists all four Tuohy family members as having the same representative at Creative Artists Agency, the petition says. But Oher's agent, who would receive movie contract and payment notices, is listed as Debra Branan, a close family friend of the Tuohys and the same lawyer who filed the 2004 conservatorship petition, the petition alleges. Branan did not return a call to her law office on Monday.

"Mike's relationship with the Tuohy family started to decline when he discovered that he was portrayed in the movie as unintelligent," Stranch said. "Their relationship continued to deteriorate as he learned that he was the only member of the family not receiving royalty checks from the movie, and it was permanently fractured when he realized he wasn't adopted and a part of the family."

For years, Oher has chafed at how "The Blind Side" depicted him, saying it hurt his football career and clouded how people view him. He has said that based on the film, some NFL decision-makers assumed he was mentally slow or lacked leadership skills.

"People look at me, and they take things away from me because of a movie," Oher told ESPN in 2015. "They don't really see the skills and the kind of player I am."

"Beyond the details of the deal, the politics, and the money behind the book and movie, it was the principle of the choices some people made that cut me the deepest."

#original post #the blind side #michael oher #this is one of the worst things i’ve ever read #this movie always was awful but somehow it got worse

[doberbutts]

Anyway yes, people who can X should be accomodating to people who can't X. People who can walk should accomodate people who can't. People who can hear should accomodate people who can't. People who can see should accomodate people who can't. And on and on. When that doesn't happen, it's a problem that deserves to be talked about.

But the problem is not and has never been "physical disabilities are more important and deserve more accomodations than mental disabilities"- nor the other way around either.

People love to dunk on folks with ADD/ADHD but you know? As someone with ADD raised by diabetic parents I gotta say there's a lot of similarities here. People with ADD, myself included, often forget to eat and when they do eat they often load themselves up with carbs and sugars because those foods make their brains feel good. People with diabetes have to closely monitor their meals and often crave sugars and need a blend of sugary and protein-rich snacks on hand. This is not to say ADD and diabetes are exact one-to-one disabilities.

But having grown up watching my parents manage their diabetes, I too am very aware of meal times and blood sugar and constructing meals that will tide you over and having a blend of sugary and protein-rich snacks on hand Just In Case. I am able to manage my ADD better in this way because I have experience from watching my parents. I also need access to snacks and to be able to say to my boss "I need to go eat something real fast" without being punished.

I had a training client who was the image of "able bodied mentally ill" outside of the usual creaks and squeaks associated with age, her body worked just fine. But after a series of incidents in her youth- a car accident that left her with a serious brain injury, coming home from the hospital afterwards to immediately have her house broken into and herself raped by an intruder, and assorted medical malpractice while she was healing from both- she has a serious and extreme case of agoraphobia and spent the next 40 years completely unable to leave the house. She would hide and wail and scream when deliveries of groceries and other goods would come, because it meant a stranger (and usually a man) would be at her door. She could not go more than a couple steps outside to get her mail and especially not if other people were outside.

At some point her therapist suggested getting a pet, one that *had* to go outside, to help her. So she got a dog and contacted a trainer (me) and we got to work. And she did improve! The dog has been a huge help to managing her symptoms! But you cannot seriously expect me to have worked with this woman for years and then belittle mental illnesses as being lesser when this woman also shares the inability to even leave her house let alone go inside a grocery store. Even today there are times when she simply cannot, she cannot will her body to move out of her door and into transportation let alone into the building.

When she first started coming to me she thanked me for not belittling her or making her feel bad for classes she had to cancel because she couldn't force herself to take the first step over the threshold. That is when she told me what happened to her and that while it sounds terrible she was really happy to have found a trainer who knew something personal about trauma and brain injuries. She is also a case where I feel her ESA should be considered service dog not because of training or tasking but because her need is so high and she is just completely incapable of doing anything without the dog in her arms.

Anyway I think of her any time someone says "but you can walk through the door". There's nothing wrong with her legs so in theory sure she could. But often she *can't*, not because of anything physical, but because she is very severely mentally ill.