#did i miss one i feel like i might have

[makotonaegiunderstander]

something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.

“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”

#makoto naegi #Danganronpa character analysis #Danganronpa #danganronpa thh #danganronpa future arc #I fucking love Makoto Naegi man. #I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known #he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said #he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky #he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did #if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world. #he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done #and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend. #I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though #post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do #it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to #and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc #he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions #I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse #and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate #and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable. #honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually #I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself #that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels #it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it #it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic #anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for #the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!

[sysig]

Ooo requestober eh? Something I've been curious to see a bit more of maybe is Jake interracting with Scriabin. Edgar wondering about what the two of them talk about together alone got me curious too 👀

(Resending to the main for you :3)

Day 3 - Definitely not kissing! If that's what you think!

Meanwhile, Jake:

#My art #Requestober #Vargas #Scriabin #Edgar #Jake #Since I already got my serious ''This is what I think they might get up to'' a couple Requestobers ago I opted for silliness this time lol #Plus last time I did Before so this time how about some After! #What situation would arise that Scriabin would have a one-on-one with Jake without Edgar? Maybe Edgar had work? Had to take Todd somewhere? #Either way he's painfully jealous on all sides haha poor lad #Jake's good to them I'm sure he'll get some affection later - Scriabin'll still hold it over his head for as long as he can tho lol #Can you tell I like lipstick stains haha ♪ They're legit some of my favourites to draw! :D #I think this is my first time - at least in a long long while - drawing them digitally tho :0 Fun! #They're just jkfdlsafd they're So cute haha ♥ Evidence of attention! Incriminating in their placement <3 #Shows where someone was most focused on making them feel loved hehehe it's just so cute to me 💕 #Like that they obviously went for each other's necks - of course - but also their foreheads and Jake kissed his nose #And also missed/got a bit too rowdy and got some lipstick on his glasses lol #Tell me that's not adorable! #And in classic fashion the lover returns home and sees lipstick stains and gets envious lol #Scriabin definitely used lipstick to make out with Jake specifically to make Edgar jealous lol - he could've avoided this and chose not to #Kiss him Edgar you'll feel better #Jake just having fun not thinking about the implications haha ♪ #I may or may not have spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about how Jake interacts with each of them around kisses >.> #I mean - other than mainfic every time he shows up he ends up kissing them in some capacity! It's hard not to recognize his patterns! Lol

[kaldurcalm]

Someone shared a post about the pear of anguish, saying it was used to torture slaves, and I thought its design was interesting but something felt slightly off, so I looked it up.

The first thing you see when you look this thing up is that its usage is disputed.

Apparently the mechanism doesn't seem to work the way it's said to work? It's said that people would slowly enlarge the opening in order to spread an orifice wider and wider, and that it could even break jaws.

The thing is, this device does not seem to open in this way. It seems to spring open. The screw mechanism is for closing it.

I relayed this information, thinking this was someone who would actually care about fact checking. "It might not actually have worked in this way. Its usage is disputed."

For some fucking dadblamed reason, they took this as me... questioning the existence of racism? And denying the suffering of black people?

I do a little more digging, and it's basically the same thing over and over. One guy insists that it's totally a torture device, because why else would it be in torture chamber museums?

I don't know, buddy, maybe because people like to make up stories and scare others.

That's one running theory for the existence of this thing: people wanted a good story. They wanted to be able to sell that story in order to make money. So they made elaborate devices and charged people to see them, or displayed them in order to scare their guests.

This part of the speculation, by the way, is from medieval times. There are no modern accounts of this item's usage.

We have so many accounts of slavery. We have so many ways to spread information. We're still able to converse with some of the children of the people who are still alive. We can still see the documents they left during that time.

Why would they leave this out? If it were actually in use, why would they relay the whippings, the confinement, the rape, the starvation, the harsh working conditions, the lynchings, the forced assimilation, and just... not mention this part?

Their friend piled on. I told him my statement was based on the way the device functions, and not "white people wouldn't do that." I told them that I didn't expect better from him, because I didn't know him, but I did expect better from them.

Apparently this was me making assumptions.

Gonna be honest, I didn't read the entirety of their responses, because this sort of thing is maddeningly upsetting to me. I thought I was safe to say something because, when I accidentally sent them a video by Alexis Nelson, they called it funny and informative. I know that doesn't seem like much, but... honestly, Alexis isn't going to be up everyone's alley, and sometimes that's due to bigotry. So I thought they would actually care, and not be mad about being checked. I've been in that situation plenty of times, and I normally don't say anything if I don't think I'm going to get through. I only say something if I have hope for that person.

I thought I might actually have a potential friend, and said person responded to "Hey this information might not be accurate" with... honestly, I can barely even parse the way they worded things? Something about slavery happening whether it was disputed or not.

I just wanted to fact check an unsourced facebook post.

#this has contributed to me feeling like no one wants to listen to anything i have to say and every relationship i have is doomed to fail!! #which I recognize is unhealthy!! #fellas is it splitting to get mad and unfriend someone for this nonsense #hm. maybe not what splitting is. #it's just so frustrating when someone is self righteous about their victim mentality #and every additional 'I'm not attacking you actually!' statement is perceived as an additional attack #I know I've done that but I'm WORKING ON IT #so it's frustrating to encounter in the wild and it sends me into the stratosphere #the fuck do you MEAN 'slavery happened even if it was disputed' i meant the SPECIFIC DEVICE YOU'RE MAKING CLAIMS ABOUT #I'm wildly oversimplifying. it was one hell of a sentence. #WHY DO YOU WANT MORE PAIN #THERE'S ENOUGH AS IT IS #WHY IS BAD IF I SAY THIS MIGHT NOT HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN USED TO HURT PEOPLE #WHY AM I THE ENEMY #WHY AM I THE ONE MAKING ASSUMPTIONS #I THOUGHT WE COULD BE FRIENDS #sorry I'll go try to forget about this now #between this and someone saying she needs ai because commissions are too expensive and free images aren't good enough i just... #don't feel like saying anything to anyone anymore #and I missed my window for productivity today. I should have sat down to write and I didn't #and now I'm tired and frustrated because bg3 glitched wyll's cape away and i don't know which save to load to get it back #or if it's my compute #it already ate my opportunity to get everything from dammon #i might need to reinstall #personal #why did i even try. i was shaking so bad. why does it hurt this much. #torture device

[meirimerens]

got the tldr of the vid that I'm Not Watching All That & somewhat amusing how the straw breaking the camel's back for people over James Somerton is his blatant and unashamed plagiarism (as it should be genuinely i don't think you can nor should recover from this) like he hasn't regurgitated for years vile, unempathetic, ahistorical and Purely Just Wrong information about gay history including about the fight for legal same-sex marriage in the US and the AIDS crisis. like an alarming amount of people truly heard his ass say "all the good fun funky artistic and radical gays died of aids and all those who were left were unfun stuck-up prudes and conservatives also the fight for legal same-sex marriage was an assimilationist ploy by the latter who just wanted big gay weddings" as if the gay men who survived the epidemic didn't literally lose lovers and friends and entire communities and long-term partners who they shared a life with and who were denied any crumb of this previous life at their death because there was no legal recognition for same-sex cohabitation and unions and their homophobic family could tear everything from the surviving partner thanks to this lack of recognition and let it slide.

some people out there were truly so eager to shit on the boring assimilationist prude gays who survived aids by being stuck-up prudes and who just wanted "big gay weddings" they made up in their minds to get mad at that they turned their brains off and let it slide. they could've used their smoothed-out brains for ONE minute & found out that surviving took 1) plain boring luck and 2) radical, loud, proud gay activists campaigning for safe/safer sex and the information campaigns they led, as well as the protests and demonstrations they undertook to make the government fucking care for once. and that legally-recognized unions [be they civil or religious] were a matter of survival for the partner left behind. some people out there truly let a business major with a turtleneck (possibly the definition of boring) passing himself off as cool and radical and an intellectual tell them homophobic bullshit. and did not blink. like OF COURSE this guy's gonna be a plagiarist. he needs to get his information from SOMEWHERE. because when he tries to formulate his own stuff it's complete fabrications or the frankensteining of multiple sources that he manages to misunderstand/misrepresent threefold over. trying to fit a knit sock over the foot with the inside out and wonder why that itches.

i know many people in his audience are likely very young and also likely american and as such did most of their growing up in a world where their country (1 out of 195. give or take.) had legalized gay marriage but i cannot even begin to describe 1) how Young legalized gay wedding is, even in ""the west"" and 2) how many. other countries there are. my country legalized same-sex marriage before the US did. i am not even 25 and i still remember the hordes of catholics marching down the streets chanting homophobic slogans, implying the only reason two mommies or two daddies would want to raise a child together is for nefarious, vile purposes. i still remember families having to drag their asses into court to argue that, yes, a woman who raised a child for its whole life with another woman she's in a long-term committed cohabitated relationship with should have the right to be considered a direct guardian even if she's not biologically related to the child, and spending thousands of bucks having to argue their case in court. this might be shocking to some, but there are countries where homosexuality is punishable by death. in others, not by death, but by imprisonment. in others, not by imprisonment, but by ""medical intervention"". in others, not by ""medical intervention" but by fines. and in some others still, you can be gay (yay!) but you still cannot get married or civil-unioned, and the very same shit that was discussed in the 80s is still discussed now. the right to stay a guardian of your partner's child if your partner dies or is ill, so the kid does not go into foster care. the right to inherit your partner's property according to married rights instead of having through long annoying time- and money-consuming legal processes. the right to arrange your partner's funeral or have a say in their medical choices if they're incapacitated instead of their (potentially homophobic) families.

like We Are Not There Yet. we are not in a world where any homosexual can truly, fully, wholeheartedly assimilate, whether you consider it a good thing or not. fun gay artists and boring uninteresting gay office workers die the same death that we all do. the one you don't wake from. and guess what. all types of homosexuals, regardless of which ones you pick and choose to be mad at, are affected by homophobic legislation. not just the ones you think should be spared because they're oh so fun. and oh so radical.

donate to the rainbow railroad org if you can. they help LGBT+ people escape state-sponsored violence. a singular nail on one of their members' hand does more activism and real-life good than any mfer making video essays could do in his entire life.

#also were the two gay male writers who died of AIDS who's shit you stole of the ''fun artistic gays'' or the boring ones? you seem to like #their stuff enough to steal. you want their talent their eloquence and their presence; which is missed; sooo bad you look stupit! #also gay people have always gotten married. privately; clandestinely; in secret; in shame often. #gay people have had commitment ceremonies for as long as we've had partners. #like even if some of us did want ''big gay weddings''. by all means cope and seethe that no one wants your hand in marriage #and to dedicate their lives to you as you do to them publicly; to the world's face. but that's a skill issue. #not making this shit rebloggable i'm just complaining about the guy. have disliked him for a while for this ^ & also his fabrication of #how Radclyffe Hall's trial actually went. like you can literally wikipedia this shit. #unrelated me and my dad have this joke where when i feel like my academic life is not too great/i maybe should have done something else #i go ''well i might have gone to the Unemployment Factory; but at least i'm not a Business Student [shocked face] [retching face]'' #and my dad hysterically laughs. all of the worst people he's ever met had been business students once. #anyways. allmother mother of all great priestess of dishing out Ls to the deserving #thank you for having taken this man down in such a glorious colossal blaze. CHEH! #neigh (blabbers)

[aq2003]

there comes a beautiful time in life where i have to ask myselg th question, "did i accidentally project too hard onto the character that i only relate to a little bit and in doing so hugely missed this one entire aspect/interpretation of the characters . am i stupid"

#ARE THEY STUPID! #dr who #this is about ten specifically his relationship w martha lmao #m being so serious i genuinely did not. see the 'ten was on purpose leading martha on to make her think her feelings were requited' angle #until going out into the wild and reading the tumblr posts. like i genuinely did not. at ALLLLLL. its like a brick hitting my head #bc the ENTIRE time s3 ten came off to me as 'doing stuff w no romantic intent behind it but would consistently get misinterpreted as such' #cuz IIIIIIIII have done this. IIIIIIII have run into this problem before. and it sucks so incredibly bad. #i actually do want to think my og interpretation still holds water cuz like. well i could gather all the evidence but #first one that comes 2 mind would be him going 'it's like when you fancy someone + they dont know you exist' to martha. in episode TWELVE #two routes; either ten is needlessly cruel and callous even after a season's worth of building up trust and friendship w her #or he is on super 'i dont think she has feelings for me and this is a very unhappy coincidence of a line' cocaine #Or the 'she fancied me' line in s4 to donna. either he is disregarding all the good and positive impact she did him. or the fact that this #went over his head the whole time made him look back on that time w discomfort <- I DID THIS. I MIGHT HAVE BEEN PROJECTING #THIS ONTO HIM. AM I STUPID.?.????? #you know how mikage rgu can either be read as an incel or a gay man lost so completely in the sauce #ten is like in this same ballpark. i think. of 'emotionally manipulative and disrespects women' or 'aroacespec and missed the cues' #funniest possible options to pick from. ten my brother how did you set yourself up like this #absolutely not denying that he was toxic and unhealthy during s3 in like 500 ways btw. but well. ths is the one concwpt that #flew over my head. so completely. and i can kind of see it now but i also still find it hard to incorporate into my belief system #bc its like. brother I'M aroace and missed the cues too lol #tangential note we can trace many problems down to a writer's room filled w white people not giving #martha's character the respect/agency she deserves for the existing narrative she has. bc they pulled this w mickey too both in series 1+2 #if they wanted to portray ten as manipulative then him and martha should've been given more screentime #together where martha (or anyone else) calls him the FUCK out on this. and ten would need to suffer narrative consequences of doing smth #as fucked up as that rather than his happy stable dynamic he has w donna. if they wanted to portray him as oblivious then marthas character #shouldn't have constantly been boiled down to an unrequited crush (particularly her dialogue in the s3 finale - there's a LOT more reasons #why she would choose to leave/why their dynamic was unhealthy besides ten not returning her feelings) #if you read all these tags you may be entitled 2 financial compensation #ten and martha #aspec doc tag

[girls-and-honey]

.

#okay so random tag post even though it's been ages #me thinks the current place i work is actually decent a la accepting-queer-ppl so?? miiiiight. consider actually putting my #pronouns in my email signature (which hardly gets used but shh) but like. the actual ones not the society/people assume anyway ones #idk i attended a virtual tech focused event for trans dov (yes early but they didn't want to put the event on sun) and you know when #everyone is just sharing their stories and experiences and it's just like... an overwhelming sense of community? anyway that #and since it was hosted by a professional org the topics were all workplace focused and mayhaps that's something i'm thinking abt for #this year. at least within our pride group I might be ready? wild bc for a long time tumblr has been the only place I feel comfy being 100% #myself. but hearing real people's stories makes me feel like that kind of community would be nice to have elsewhere too #and the whole looking to others also turns around into the leading by example thing bc then we had some breakout groups at the end for #networking which is not my favorite but! i did my intro and said I use she/her for work but will use she/they for this group and #then the next person said he/him at work but for this group he/they so that made me wonder if it was bc of me saying so first? #which if it was is kind of like oh. the way I'm looking for those people for me.. I can also be that for someone else #anyway this sounds dumb typed out but irl/professional me has always separated out queer identity so it's new to me #i'm allowed to be giddy okay. just a little. as a treat (is tumblr still using 'as a treat' i really hope so) #oh shit is this what gender euphoria feels like #alright that's it for now i think #gah emotions and whatnot #missed you all btw i'll start actually being online again soon #personal

[krys-loves-otome]

Saw some talk about creating character ask blogs on my dash earlier today! And as many of you know, I have a plethora of characters to pull from...

But, I also have a full schedule so making ask blogs is a little out of my spoon range at present.

That said, would anyone be interested in me doing little brain rot posts with my ocs instead? Of course, my writing blog (@not-krys) is full of WIP Wednesdays involving them but this will be even more off the cuff, like if there's a thing happening in their game and I just need to comment on it? Or something going on in RL that makes me think about my OCs and their boos, and I just need to share it with you guys?

In my writing files, I actually do have a doc where I keep random thought blerbs where I put things that come to mind about my girlies. Sometimes it's just a sentence or two, sometimes it goes into meta, sometimes it just screaming about something cute going on, things like that.

Would anyone be interested in something like that? I can't promise they'll be a regular thing, but I do love sharing about my OCs and brain-rotting is the most available method of me doing so.

Asks are also available if anyone has questions or just wants to shoot ideas at me if that's more your thing!

Thanks for coming to my little thought session, lovelies~

#krys talks #krys's babies #I'd probably call it something like 'krys's brain rots' or something #miri might be regular appearance bc of the regular chats in obey me #like one of the more recent ones where Belphie got him a pillow that gives you strange dreams #and towards the end Belphie privately messages about MC/Miri getting the pillow and what they think/what they dreamed about #one of the options that they can have a dream of being with everyone and having a good time #and while Belphie complains about wanting be alone with them even in their dreams #I couldn't help but remember that this is the Nightbringer timeline and MC/Miri is not in her normal time #and I like to interpret that moment to mean that MC/Miri was missing her original time and had a dream about it #and then I just teared up as likely Miri did in remembering that dream and hi angsty feels for an initially silly idea #other brain rot post ideas: #what Thea and Abby are doing in the Interlude timeline #I'm at the fight at the mansion part of the interlude #what would they do if they're boys are trying to fight for their undead lives #on the ikepri front: Clara vs Gilbert #...oh dear #thanks for listening either way!

[dawntheduckrb]

I'll stop posting wips eventually but it's been five days since I've said anything and I don't want anyone to think I'm dead/dying/stuck in a ditch and withering away, so here's 10% of the reason I disappeared (the duck is stuck in rendering hell) (and my little baby laptop is screaming at me every time I open up this file)

I might still be mostly lurking for a little bit so please be patient with me in the meantime 🙏🙏

#seriously though I'm sorry for just up and disappearing like that #wanna talk to people and interact with them so bad lately but I just can't bring myself to do it #so the best i can manage is blabbing in the tags like always #i don't know wtf is going on but over the past few days I've just felt like i don't deserve to talk to anyone #tried to reblog posts from mutuals several times but something in my head keeps saying; #'yeah they don't actually care for your input at all and you're being a bother for even trying etc etc' #and i know deep down that's probably not true (i hope) but i can't reason it away you know #and i know the best solution to this is to just talk to someone #let it be known that i *did* make an attempt to #i tried texting someone (and succeeded) but i couldn't keep doing it and I'm back at square one (and now feel worse lmao) #i'm not really putting this here for anybody to see it as much as i am for myself #but i know that (hypothetically) this could be seen by a real human so it still kinda feels like I'm reaching out in a way which feels nice #makes me feel less like I'm shriveling up in my own self imposed solitude #so uh hello person who might be reading the tags (there's six of you guys here now which is crazy cause i post nothing but junk here lol) #((but thanks anyway for following and even more thanks for reading this if you did)) #i'll make my way around all the posts i missed soon enough don't worry #i'm sorry i'm really not meaning to ignore anybody #i have drafted quite a few posts from moots that i couldn't finish leaving comments on but i have seen them #everyone here is super cool and talented as always <3 whether that be through art or writing or just finding neat posts to share #this wall of text is long enough and i'm very eeby so thank you again for reading this #tldr; not dead and i'll be okay eventually :) #not rb #hey look i didn't post a picture of my dog this time (a crime) #i'll make sure to share one the next time i get a good one

[curiosity-killed]

It is! Possible! That I may be being too hard on myself! Again!!!

#me for most of this fall: I’m not doing enough well enough I’m falling short in everything I am Miserable #the universe lately: you’re such a natural turner / you are so creative / you are doing so much / #you are curious and humble and kind / you have beautiful lines / your writing is lovely #our company did this values in action award and my sister and I were talking abt it last week and how only 5 employees WERENT nominated #and i was like Clearlt I Was Not Nominated #and then today actually read the nominations and I got?? really sweet ones???? #and just had a convo with a colleague abt how I’ve been worried abt underperforming/not doing well enough #and she looked at me like I had literally sprouted a tortoise out of my head and was like #‘’i. think you might have. Very High Standards for yourself. (?????????)’’ #the new director I’ve been working with is so casual abt praise saying how I have beautiful lines and such a strong turn #and just need to relax and breathe #there have been a couple ppl recently reading thru like my entire AO3 and leaving the nicest comments??? #my students are chaotic but at rehearsal they all want to come sit with me and ask me questions and I just #idk I know I have a tendency toward isolation and self-deprecation #but also like. when ur in it (the depressions (?)) it feels so absolute #and i know I have to go thru to get to a place where I can receive the good (emotionally) #and I know I’m a little extra sensitivo bc I‘ve been missing my brother #and specifically how he always always was the person who listened when I needed support #but yeah i. maybe rlly needed this #‘’over and over announcing your place in the family of things’’ #<- current feels #personal #Bc it’s less about positive feedback and more abt feeling like belonging

[micamicster]

Entertaining myself by fucking around putting all my fics into that Penguin Classics cover generator today! Link to my ao3 <3

#the last one is still a wip... which i should have been WORKING on instead of doing all this lol #should i have been writing instead? obviously. was this way more fun? obviously #as always going back and forth about any sort of public acknowledgment of my first ever fic for obvious reasons #but well i did write it and it was the first thing i ever wrote so i do add it to stuff like this. but mixed feelings about it overall #for obvious reasons #doing all this reminded me of how my old roommate got edge of seventeen printed and bound as a present for me (and for herself) #back when i first wrote it #and it really made me bawl it was such a sweet thing for her to do #i miss her :( #well here they are in a list i love to look at images and lists <3 #anyway i thought this might be more fun to pin than just a link to my ao3 or whatever #while you were sleeping au #eo17 #american pie #the load out

[w1lmuttart]

Ayo where is RG? Nothing feel right without her

Tldr: hi hello I know barely anything about vln 😳

#have only read about it through theory posts or analysis but never played or watched a play through of the game #so I don’t feel that attached to miss og raincoat wearer yet oops #the theories are good tho. like the one about rcg being the girl in the portrait at the maw? #and that’s why there’s drawings of someone w the raincoat when six arrives? 👀👀👀👀 good shit ln fandom good shit #might add rcg more in future art cuz wow I love drawing braids #little nightmares #edit: hi my tumblr hates me why did it upload the same picture twice :’) fixed now

[sysig]

Size difference.png (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Crackship #Teisel #Meme #I am on a roll with these lol #I knew adding Teisel to my list was only a matter of time #I am a weakwilled individual with one fatal flaw #Anyway (lol) #ZEX really has his work cut out for him with Teisel haha - it's very fortunate he's so determined and enjoys a challenge 'cause otherwise! #Teisel is hard to pin down - I mean Other Than That lol - he's an interesting guy :0 #Rough around the edges and a family man ♪ And if I get to draw long hair and big muscles then all the better hehe #And he has a cute nose! He has the bridge of the nose thing that I like so much!! Yes!! #As for the rest of him - hm! I've only had passing thoughts up to this point and getting into his head is...Something lol #It's well done to be certain it definitely Makes Me Feel it's just hard to ascribe a name to that Feeling just yet #Needs a bit more time to tumble smooth I suppose lol #One thing I know I like because it makes me sad - lol - is ZEX projecting some of his feelings about DAX onto Teisel - unexpected! #It's extremely interesting how despite his deep abiding love and fascination with Otherness he's gotten increasingly homesick #Finding things charming about humans that remind him of VUX! You can tell he's a bit desperate for the familiar :'0 #So isolated from even himself ah 💔 Hang in there ZEX! #At least he has some fun distractions hehe ♪ New things to learn and consider! Teisel keeps throwing him curveballs! #Both of them circling each other like ''? Isn't it your turn?'' lol #They both come off as aggressive in their own way and then swing-and-a-miss lol #And then there's how Teisel frames him as far as age goes - or really how everyone does pffft #It is So funny to me every time anyone refer to ZEX as ''old'' now that his age has been more or less established - at least pointed at #The fact that he might not even be in his human-equivalent 50s what is this who this lol he's not old! And Max /definitely/ isn't haha #He is the slightest itty-bittiest willowiest little twink y'ever did see pfft #I have been waiting to use that meme template for someone for ages I am so glad that I finally got the chance ♪

[icewindandboringhorror]

We should bring back that thing some websites used to do where whenever you made a post you could also list a bunch of random details alongside it, like the mood you’re currently feeling while writing the post, what you’re eating, music you’re currently listening to, what device you’re writing the post on, some random emoji, your personal motto at the moment, etc. It’s like additional character lore 

#I think you can do this with facebook still like you can put a current mood 'feeling XYZ' BUT you have to choose from their list #of premade emotions. You can't just type your own. #and you can't add a bunch of random extra details for no reason #Also DID websites actually do this? I might just be thinking of one or two. specifically I htink on deviant art (which I rarely ever #used except for one small period when I was like 14 yrs old and thought it would be Professional to post art there lol) #when you made a journal post type of thing I think you could put information like this. And I THINK you could maybe do something similar on #the journals on gaiaonline?? maybe also myspace but I remember so little about mysapce or if they even have a journal #type function. I MISS websites randomly having journals as like..a thing #like you had your normal post feed and then also a diary type place. Kind of like how poeple used to use facebook Notes different #from just a normal facebook post. #If I ever actually do anything successful in my life and somehow defeat the mental illness and physical issues and Situational Barriers #and actually accomplish like.. anything enough to be a professional with their own website (like how famous authors will have #their own websites where they post updates that are NOT social media like a facebook but. their own custom website or whatever) #then I'l make sure that in the code it's set up so whenever I make a post I can add these options ghhbjhb #Imagine some official really imporant release of a movie or game or something and then alongside it it's just like #Feeling: Evil 🤭 Eating: Shredded cheddar cheese Drinking: water out of an old coffee tin #(I had to google some online place to copy and paste emojis ghbhjb i have no idea how they work ) #Though also it wouldn't be interesting for me because I have a limited emotional range and also love routine so I'd basically always #feel neutral and just be cycling through the same 5 foods/drinks/music/etc. at all times hjbjjh #I also always wear the same clothes like a cartoon character #BUT it'd be interesting to see about other poeple I guess lol

[hella1975]

i love when you make your environment absolutely perfect to Get Shit Done like i had a nap i ate food and made coffee i put the big light on i got in comfy clothes i made sure i was warm enough i got all my stuff out. and then executive dysfunction goes 'watch this!' and you get nothing done forever and ever

#sincerely a girlie who has a microeconomics exam TOMORROW and was supposed to start studying an hour ago #and i hear your 'most revision the night before is just reassurance bc if u dont know it by now you wont! you'll be fine!' #but im TELLING YOU i will not be fine #i have 50 flashcards to memorise #i have not started #and i dont even mind memorising flashcards bc as dull as it is im really fucking good at bulk memorising shit #like i can memorise 300 flashcards in a night for an exam the next day (<- tried and tested) #(i did all my gcse geography revision the night before by doing this and i was three marks off a grade 9 ur girl can MEMORISE) #and i get into a real groove of it so like. WHAT IS THE ISSUE HERE #JUST DO YOUR FLASHCARDS BITCH WHY ARE U READING FIC #im so burnt out and exams havent even started pray for me please #might shower and see if that wakes me up #my flat has like an actual power shower i have MISSED HER my home shower is this shitty electric one that feels more like light rain #oh yeah im back at uni btw! i missed my bed sm i forgot how comfy she was #hella goes to uni

[plulp]

gets on my knees. please draw bailey one day. ik you would do him so good. kisses you on the head gently

GOOD NEWS!!!! BAILEY IS NEXT!!!!!!!!!!! 😊😊😊😊 hopefully i can make it soon but no promises okay? this one's for YOU 🫵🫵🫵 thank you for putting your trust in me. i promise i will try not to do you wrong

#asks #bobsquatley #im finishing off everyone from the poll so itll be like bailey -> remy -> maybe another poll? or i might just start drawing whoever #or maybe you guys can send an ask if you want me to draw anyone specifically #since there are a lot of npcs #unrelated #but SIDENOTE: just saw the Bishop <- guy who doesnt realize an update came out a month ago #i need someone who keeps up with the updates to like tell me each time there is one #i only check the blog like once every 5 months #i am literally so out of sync with the fandom. i lay here like a dead roach #but the bishop. the bishop and his hands. i feel crazy the whole time i was taking screenshots like. ive gotta save this. #i wamt to draw...... #bailey first though. i have a couple of ideas i want to try #side sidenote: I FUCKING FORGOT TO MAKE LEIGHTONS STUBBLE WHITE TOO. HOW DID I FORGET. AAAGGGGHH AAAAHHHH AHHHHHH. #i cant believe it. i knew something was missing.

[angeltrapz]

this is probably dramatic but it feels so right to be writing chainshipping again. i missed them so fucking much man

#i have So many ideas... including the ones i never got around to #i think id like to write wingfic again next. i love it so much #but yeah. i really did miss them <3 very happy to have gotten that burst of inspiration #connor.mp3 #might be sick again so. whats better than writing abt your faves being sweet when you dont feel good?