#did anyone else feel this way?

[mikodrawnnarratives]

Me, before finishing Renegades Trilogy: Oh okay! This series shows complexities on both sides but over all it echos anti police brutality shown in the "heroes"

Me, after basically reading "the anarchists were completely in the wrong and being a renegade was the 100% path the whole time": I'm sorry w h a t

#renegades trilogy #nova artino #i am NOT accusing Marissa Meyer of anything #tho it's a little strange to me how the complexities are made out to be more black and white toward the end #I need to reread the book to give better examples but #did anyone else feel this way? #supernova marissa meyer #renegades marissa meyer #supernova spoilers #or maybe this is just me being an anarchist apologist #renegades anarchists #y'know renegades kinda demonstrated the abuse of power and there were interesting ideas there #they just didn't feel fully realized to their potential #nova felt like she went to the opposite side rather than them meeting her halfway #renegades salt #renegades trilogy salt

[boundprince]

When I was a kid, When watching things, cartoons, children's movies, reading children's books, and even just, looking at images, I remember looking at my mother's desktop background, and just, being filled with utmost wonder, at what lies outside of the picture. Watching a princess movie, and, there was nearly a sense of stress, worry, claustrophobia, from the fact that I can't know what lies outside of this scene, I'm limited to what is being shown. I always wanted to know more, to know everything about this world, and with that to also become one with it and be completely absorbed by it.I remember A lot of my dreams would revolve around this. there were times where I would watch the same movie over and over and over and it was grueling and stressful. Even in the fictional, I still felt a sense of being trapped and confined, which is funny, because you're supposed to find solace in escaping from reality into these other worlds

#did anyone else feel this way? #maybe I was just a very intellectual child #i dunno #I also have a few memories of reading fairy books and wishing it was real more than anything #and honestly i still feel this way

[b0lt420]

this is how i felt in school.

#highposting #trauma be like that i guess #did anyone else feel this way? #i would show up with words no one even knew and they’d just gawk at me.

[ruporas]

hello there, angel

[ID: Digital illustration in color of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. Vash is sitting facing the viewer and holds a rose between his clasped together hands, but he’s looking to the left, upwards, at Wolfwood, with an awed expression. Wolfwood hovers over him with wings sprouting from his back. He has a cigarette lit between his lips, his arms and legs are crossed, and he looks back at Vash with a neutral expression. The both of them are covered in a blue shadow, casted by Wolfwood and his hovering form, while warm light hits the back of his wings and over Vash’s legs. Small feathers sits next to Vash. End ID]

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #this is not meant to mean anything btw i just wanted to draw wolfwood as an angle #i love angel and follower depiction but i also think wolfwood is just the most angelic human being ever #he was sent to guide him... he protects him... he Saved him #i mean they both just think of each other as the most good they've seen in the world in a really long time #and in turn makes themselves coil and feel a little more disgusted with themselves. but they're also so Good to each other that they can #start to believe that they can be that good too. #they love each other so much and theyve never loved anyone else like this before so i can just imagine the heights their love can reach #endless pouring of affection in a way they can only keep to their own chest in fear they'd never be able to let go otherwise #that is to say i just feel like they'd worship each other and it's probably excessive but i feel like they both really deserve it #i did not even mean to go on that tangent but back on topic -- i just love angel wolfwood depiction in a way that's Normal...... #need more of vash saying cheesy shit like youre my light wolfwood!!!! and wolfwood beating the shit out of him like WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!!! #which is why i have a tablet in the first place. my mission in the world... #ruporas art

[xjustakay]

y’all know that saying “writers are people, treat them like people!!” means you shouldn’t put them on a pedestal they didn’t ask to be put on, too, right……

#like… y’all know…… saying [insert writer here] is a big writer so automatically they’re *supposedly* more liked is also…… #how you say… impersonal and dehumanizing… #bc 9/10 times “big” writers are shooting in the dark just as much as anyone else #and just trying to vibe and have fun and share their work #very much NOT asking for people to put them on a pedestal and be weird about it #i promise it’s just not that deep #we’re all doing the same things like we’re all writing and reading and yelling about the same stuff #trying to have a good time however we can #all being PEOPLE not just the fics we write and share on our respective accounts #so yeah it’s not just about “when’s the next update” or “why did you write your own fic this way” comments #it’s also about weird unsolicited fan behavior that doesn’t belong and makes people uncomfortable + feel less like a person #just. food for thought. #shut up kay

[worstloki]

AU where Loki doesn’t interfere with Thor’s banishment at all and it takes Thor years to prove himself worthy and when he returns to Asgard everything is just. The same. Nothing seems to have changed at all and everyone greets him like his absence was a minor obstacle that didn’t fundamentally change Thor and the worst part is Loki stepped down from the place as regent without any delay and Thor can’t help but feel there’s something underlaying the way his brother looks at him now and won’t let him touch him and Thor doesn’t know what he could have missed because he doesn’t think he would have found anything wrong with the things around him and how everyone behaves if he hadn’t spent time on Earth reflecting.

#the warriors 4 not being interested in anything Thor ‘learnt’ at all #and making it clear that Thor was punished unfairly and the AllFather’s decision had been harsh #Loki saying he’s happy for Thor and Thor sees the way the smiles are forced and he sees the way Loki avoids any touch #Thor hating the way Frigga talks about Loki’s short regency and Thor’s absence like it wasn’t two whole decades or something #like she’s so grateful to have her other son back without ever addressing why he was gone #Thor just. growing during his time on earth and being much more aware of the behaviour around him #he learns to be critical and assess why people around him may act a certain way #once he realises that it’s possible for him or anyone else to be fallible and make mistakes it’s over for Asgard for him I think #Thor returns and Loki gives him the throne and everyone expects him to obviously have the throne #and Odin is sleeping and Thor isn’t comfortable with the way everyone accepts him as king regent after the banishment #Loki who either never lashed out against Jotunheim or did and it was brushed away and no one thinks about it as anything #but Loki is still deeply affected and acts the way he always would have but Thor can feel it’s not the same #he knows something is wrong and Loki won’t say anything about it and Thor doesn’t know how to bring it up #Thor sees Loki metaphorically receding into the shadows to become a nonpresence so loud Thor hears it even after returning from decades away #Thor goes to Earth and gets his priorities in order gets a new worldview learns not to take what he has for granted #and finds out he actually despised Asgard #he’s been back a week and he can’t stand it

[comradekatara]

i've been thinking about the significance of toph's feet as the crux of her power against/alongside the practice of footbinding. considering her role situated within (an analog for) tang dynasty nobility, thinking through that cultural practice poses direct relevance regarding the overarching theme of how she transcends imposed boundaries, in terms of gender roles, class expectations, and of course along the axis of her disability. i can only gesture to these ideas because i lack the historical framework to construct a legitimate argument, but i'm wondering whether anyone more knowledgable regarding these historical contexts (@atlaculture comes to mind, but of course no pressure!) would like to extrapolate from these ideas.

#a couple weeks ago i did go down a footbinding rabbithole and started reading various sources #but i still feel like i'm not particularly qualified to make this argument #since i lack a background in how to construct arguments w/in historiographical discursive practices. just like. in general #although i suppose i can still gesture towards it by compiling sources & moments from the text #in like. a 'web weaving' way #though that might take more work than i have the bandwidth for atm lmao #i already have so many drafts and absolutely no time for postin #so i would love it if someone else could take the wheel here #should they be so inspired #again @atlaculture i rly admire your work but no pressure #and/or anyone else who feels qualified: please feel free to expand on this! #toph #i think abt poppy beifong specifically a lot actually #(sidenote: her name being poppy is quite loaded?) #she barely says a word. and yet she communicates so much...

[trilliath]

It's a lot, sometimes. When you finish a story, a show or book or fic or whatever, that is one of those ones in your heart that's like. Real. Real, not in a "i'm out of touch with reality and can't separate it from fiction" sort of way but in a "it doesn't really matter that the material is fictional, I was subsumed enough in it that I felt deeply - and my emotions, my love for these characters, my experience and memory of these events in their story, are still real regardless" sort of way.

And like. The tragedy of it is that in the end, you are alone in it, in the grief of the story itself, or the ending of it, because they're not real. The people you shared the experience of the story with are not real, and so you have nobody to feel that with but your own mind.

Hell of a thing.

#Fandom is sometimes a salve when you can share those feelings but like #sometimes it's a little canadian show that's over a decade old #and the fandom is mostly gone or never was in the first place #and even then would anyone else really get it #would they really ever understand it the same way you did #being human and having an imagination strong enough to do this is such a wild thing sometimes

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

What’s up with the ties between Sally & Eddie?

There are quite a few - to the point where I’m starting to suspect that they may be foils, or at least inherently tied together in the story.

First let's bring things back to the clocks. The “day” side has an obvious resemblance to Sally, like how the “night” side resembles Eddie. There’s not really much I can say here since we don’t know much more yet, and who knows if this has changed behind the scenes. But just think about that, the rarity of the color purple, night vs day, and the “monster”. Keep it in your head, I think it may be important. 

Also the fact that Eddie is the only one with a watch, but Sally’s face has an incredibly similar face on her door.

Obviously Sally has some sort of beef with Eddie, despite him being nothing but friendly and (to our knowledge) being undeserving of it. One thought I entertained was “maybe Sally is dismissive of him because he’s a worker,” but that holds zero water when you consider how perfectly friendly Sally was with Howdy (karen Sally debunked <3). The second thought I had was “maybe Sally senses the queer in Eddie and it intimidates her” - which would make sense if Sally is a lesbian like I suspect. Internalized homophobia, anyone? This holds up if Eddie is going to turn out to be - not open about himself, but comfortable in his skin in a way that, say, Frank isn’t. Which I have a feeling that will be the case, which would likely make Sally put on airs even more so than usual. 

Anyone else seeing a continuous trend of (social) masks and performances unfolding in the Neighborhood? I sure am.

But let’s talk about why I think they might be foils. They balance each other out in an interesting way, despite their only solid similarity being that Both will work/perform no matter the weather. They have a lot of closely related differences:

Eddie has been mentioned (and implied within the story so far) to have a deeper well of knowledge than he lets on, but acts humble about it. Sally has been mentioned (and implied) to know less than she portrays, but acts like a bit of a know-it-all - she pretends to know things that she doesn’t. 

Eddie’s role is about helping others at his own expense, while Sally’s is using others to reach fame. 

Eddie strives to connect with his Neighbors and is all about accuracy/precision. Sally is in her own little world and has proved to be more than willing to improvise / not think things through before acting.

Eddie is slow to anger, and Sally is easily irritated. 

Selfless vs Selfish.

Night vs Day. 

And to put them in the Johari Window - i believe that Sally resides in the Blind Spot (known to others, not known to self), and Eddie resides in either the Facade (not known to others, known to self) OR the Unknown (not known to others, not known to self). Personally I’m starting to believe that Eddie may reside in both. 

It’s far too early to draw any real conclusions, and theorizing on all of this is difficult. I feel as though - as usual - we have puzzle pieces but no frame of reference for the way they fit together, what picture they build. And who knows, tomorrow’s update may shred this to ribbons, but I doubt it. 

One thought I had was that they’re in cahoots about something - it doesn’t have to be something malicious or some sort of secret plot, it could simply be something they both know and are trying to keep quiet about. Eddie is trying to connect with Sally since they have this in common, but Sally is actively putting distance between them to preserve their secret / plausible deniability. Do I actually believe this? Meh. I’m just throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks.

So current base thoughts: Sally is dismissive of Eddie either because he intimidates/scares her on an internalized level, or she’s actively trying to put distance between them for a currently unknown reason. There’s probably a secret third option I haven’t even considered!

#she's just so fascinatingly dismissive of him in a way she isn't with anyone else #she exclusively calls him 'mailman' she brushes him off when he tries to talk about her halloween costume- #i bet if anyone else has so much as Mentioned the word 'pedrolino' sally would be on them abt it #much like how barnaby had to Escape a convo w/ her bc she was that passionate #so what is it with eddie... why does she feel so strongly about him in such a negative way... #ITS KEEPING ME UP AT NIGHT <3 #there is so much to unpack there i feel but i dont have the right scissors yet... #homebogging #welcome home speculation #wh speculation #man i feel so bad for eddie #he's trying to be friendly!!! he's trying to be her friend so hard!!! MAN. #i suspect that if eddie snaps in some way (he probably will) it will likely be in relation to sally #bc no one else treats him that way. like. even like... howdy keeps up an amicable pretense #but sally is straight up out here treating him like a pack mule named 'mailman' and brushing him off with obvious disinterest/frustration #LIKE DAMN. GIRL. WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THIS #i love it. its fascinating. i cant wait to see how that unfolds

[designernishiki]

it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now

#I think on another level he was sorta saying like ‘hey kiryu. you’re making it extremely clear that you don’t trust me and my intentions #and I’ve been trying to show you- over and over again- that I’d do just about anything for you and your safety #but I can’t just let my mask fall off in front of everyone- I need to keep up the unpredictable morally grey wildcard act for both my sake #AND yours. because disguising my helping you as crazy random violent outbursts and weird stalker behavior #is the only way I CAN help you. do you think it would go over well with shimano or literally anyone else if I was outright helping you out #of the kindness of my heart and fondness for you? stop being so fucking dense and look past the crazy wacky nonsense for a second and #maybe you’ll realize that all I do at the end of the day- really- is help you and put my own life and reputation on the line for you. #I am an honest guy when it comes to my real values and when I told you I wouldn’t let anyone kill you unelss it was myself- I meant it. #I’ve taken a knife and a bullet for you now. can you REALLY not see through the act yet? am I REALLY that unpredictable when you think about #it?’ #that was a longer explanation than i intended but. it was difficult to put into words #I basically feel like it could be read as him implying kiryu shouldn’t backstab the people who put themselves on the line to help him #and/or pointing out that he’s never actually done kiryu dirty and has stuck to his word protecting him in the ways he can #trying to say yeah all this is a crazy act and all but when it comes down to it you Can trust me #it really makes sense when you think about it that he’d have to help kiryu/show affection towards kiryu in unpredictable convoluted ways #at that point in time because. I mean. there’s a reason he was the only person who showed up to welcome kiryu when he got out of prison #and that’s because A) he sticks to his word and his loyalty to people he cares about and B) no one else had the balls or the batshit insane #mask to wear to ward off anyone asking real questions like majima did. because ANYONE associating themselves with the supposed #patriarch-killer was a HUGE NO-NO at the time. someone important showing up for kiryu and welcoming him back outright could’ve caused #all-out warfare probably. except majima. because majima was dedicated and smart enough to use his widely-feared wildcard persona #(that everyone tended to view as incapable of having any Real agenda to worry about) to his And kiryu’s advantage #does that make sense??? I feel like it makes a lot of sense if you get it to click in your head #kazumaji #majima #kiryu #yakuza #kiwami 1 #yk1 #rambling

[the-words-we-sung]

Season 3 ending

So... It's been almost a week since the last episode, almost a week trying to wrap my head around the end of the show, trying to manage my feelings about it all.

It's hard to end up feeling the complete opposite of nearly everyone on my dash but I've come to terms with the fact that I didn't love the ending. I didn't love this last episode. (I shouldn't feel ashamed or weird for saying so but you guys loved it so much that I feel a bit like an outsider right now 😓)

I haven't been a fan of the show for as long as most of you, but it means so much to me. These characters carved a place in my heart and in my head, and they've made me happy for months now. They helped me get through some stuff, made me discover some amazing artists, meet even more amazing people through this fandom. And I loved the story. Even in its darkest, saddest parts, I loved it. I was invested.

I love Wilhelm and Simon, together and separately. They mean so much to me. And I loved season 1 and 2. It made me happy, and sad, and frustrated, and exalted. But overall, I trusted the show and I was not disappointed.

Season 3 was a lot. I liked the first 5 episodes. I can't say that I loved everything about them: I was not expecting things to get so hard for Simon, with no reprieve in sight. I was not worried about Wilmon being endgame (I know it was a big stress for the fandom but honestly I never doubted that they were endgame), but I was wondering how the show would go about tying all the knots it made (I should even say all the knots it added during this last season).

(Under a read more because it's a bit long and I don't want to bother those who don't wanna read more of my frustrated thoughts ^^')

And unfortunately the last episode was a huge let down for me. Yes, it's partly because nothing I was hoping for actually happened, but mostly, it's because the choices they made did not feel very satisfying to me: ⁕ Simon was barely there. We went from him being bullied online/offline non stop for 5 episodes to almost nothing. It makes 0 sense to me. ⁕ Kristina suddenly feeling better: she was having break down upon break down for an entire season, could barely look at her son or even just talk normally and all of a sudden she's back, smiling and agreeing to everything Wilhelm says? I'm sorry but I don't buy it? Where did this Kristina hid during the entire show? ⁕ Wilhelm deciding to not be king, talking for 3min to his parents about it, them agreeing and him running into the sunset with Simon. I'm sorry, what?? I love that they end up together of course, but it makes very little sense to me? It won't change any of the issues they had this season? They're still gonna be famous? And bullied online/offline? (Probably even more so now?). I'm not obviously saying that Wilhelm staying in line to become king was the only or the best solution, but I wanted more from this storyline. I wanted to believe it. And right now, what we got? It feels a bit cheap (and I feel bad for saying that because the ending was cute and romantic and all, but it felt too disconnected from the rest of the show for me ><)

And apart from these few points, the big issue I had with this episode was: The Angst. So that might be a me-problem, but it was too much for my poor little heart (I haven't rewatched the episode yet, and I'm not sure I'll be able to anytime soon ><). I spent like 40min of the episode with a huge knot in the stomach because the heartbreak between Simon and Wilhelm was too much to handle for me. I can see how it was beautifully made, that having lots of throwbacks to the previous seasons, the Wille song, all of that was great cinematography. But it was just too much for me. I got in the season spoiler-free but for this episode? During the lake scene I had to take a break and check online if they were actually endgame because it was starting to actually give me a stomachache. So yeah, this part might be me being too sensitive but I did not like that they made me see them fight for each other for 2 seasons and 5 episodes, but then just giving up for 40min before finally running back to each other during the last 10min. It was just too much sadness for me ><

So yeah, maybe my expectations were too high? But I feel sad, and kinda cheated. Too many things are left wide opened. Too many things make zero sense to me. And of course I'm happy we got our Wilmon endgame, but I'm less happy about how it happened.

It's a bit hard being on Tumblr right now and seeing everyone who thought it was the perfect episode >< And I don't want to "yuck anyone's yum" (as the saying goes), but I still wanna be able to share my thoughts! I probably won't write super angry/unhappy/complaining posts about the season/the finale, but I still wanna be able to chat about it. I did see some posts on my dash from people not being entirely satisfied with this ending so it's a bit comforting. And I hope we can share some nice headcanons, or just discussions about different plot points.

But yeah, I guess that's why I haven't really been active this week! Trying to get over the double heartbreak of the end of the show + being disappointed with the ending! I'm gonna come back though! I miss hanging out here, I just need to strengthen my heart a little bit more :p Gonna get back to writing about my thoughts episode by episode for this season (I can't promise I can rewatch the last one though 😖 It might take me a bit of time to get there). And I want to continue my song analysis of the show!! I'm not even done with season 2 yet, I have some work to do there ^^

So see you back here very soon 😘

#young royals #wilmon #prince wilhelm #simon eriksson #yr season 3 #young royals ending #it's hard to feel negative about something everyone seemed to love >< #I still have a lot to say #to try to express #I have a hundred emotions about this finale episode #all mixing and fighting in my poor brain #and it's hard to put them into words #but I'm gonna try #because I think it'll help me feel better about this whole experience #and I did like some things!! #not everything was bad!! #lots of plot points were actually great!! #(Sara for example!!) #but yeah #a lot to process #(and I'm super up to chat about it all if anyone else feels a bit or a lot disappointed too ^^) #(and thank you Lisa for being there to lament with me 💜) #(also yeah me watching gåsmamman this week was clearly a way to not think too much about young royals ^^') #but on another note #I got my Omar concert tee shirt and it made me super happy #and I still love the cast #to the moon and back #and I'm excited for their next projects #and and and #that's too many tags

[nostalgia-tblr]

"are people not into that?" i ask, after posting my weird niche shit to the internet, despite knowing it to be weird niche shit.

#jsyk sylkius or anything adjacent to it does not “Do Numbers” in any way and i observed this some time ago #i assume that's the “rival ships” element at work but who knows really #that sort of thing is like femslash in that everyone approves of it but nobody actually reads or writes it #but who would have thought sylvie beating loki with a stick would not bring in droves of readers???! shocking twist there! #& i don't consider sifki a rarepair but my rarepair standards are VERY strict like if there's >5 fics a pairing is basically mainstream #chasing popularity would annoy me though & i just don't have the mental spoons to try writing stuff i wouldn't personally read #yeah i *could* put my blorbos to work in a coffee shop but what cost to my own enjoyment levels? AT WHAT COST FANGELA??? #you can't please everyone so you may as well just please yourself and if anyone else likes it you've found some fellow freaks so yay #i don't mean please yourself in a wanking sense. though feel free to do that too it probably counts as a cardio workout idk. #BUT ANYWAY #fic related #ps i am v glad there's the “warning: loki” tag because i think/hope it acts as a filter for 'he did nothing wrong in his life ever' types #who are Valid & etc obviously but i write my morally grey characters to be morally grey and the tag might help avoid conflict #though tbh i write almost every character to be morally grey in some way so i can't claim to have left my comfort zone here #(i'm not joking when i say the 1987-89 run of Dr Who shaped my entire future fannish life from a young and apparently v impressionable age)

[juwlie]

Gale's been stealing a glance or three in your direction...

#one day I will stop posting gifs from the romance scene but today is not that day #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 romance #gale of waterdeep #baldur's gate 3 #also did anyone else have that dialogue from shadowheart #I got it in EA but I didn't get it in full release lol #jealous ass!! #anyway sorry for this it really does make me feel a specific type of way

[raisinushigher]

am i just so far gone with these two that i can barely correctly comprehend anything they do toward eachother as normal casual interaction anymore or was this actually topher being worried about abe

#bc like…….. in my mind #topher is SUPER like way overprotective of abe. both in the way that he doesn’t want him to get hurt #and he also doesnt like anyone else getting really close to him but he’s calmed down with that one a little #and to me this is one of those moments where topher would 1000% just drop everything #if he thinks abe is in actual danger #dont talk about it much bc i hate them yada yada but seriously i love just… thinking about the most mushiest take on them as possible #like topher is legit in love with abe ya know hes never felt the way he does with abe around in his life ya know #that’s just what they are to me. and that’s what this moment here makes me feel and i have not gotten over it at all #probably won’t until s4 comes out. this is my new favourite crumb #and another thing #i can not lie. i did. get unreasonably excited and happy when abe said he’d come with joan to where topher is #and then later when he said he’d stay behind with topher and the bleacher creatures #im not Even gona reach and pretend it means anything cuz it doesn’t i just love them being together at all #clone high #tophabe #clone high spoilers #mine

[sea-jello]

@nyaskitten tumblr ate your fucking ask uhh ignore how this is months later BUT i finally watched dr s2 AND

I GET IT NOW. I UNDERSTAND.

#i was asking for art recs and you said cinder back in like. december. if you dont remember #v messy please give me a clear ref without the fur thing and with the shoulder pads please please #google refs are 5 by 5 pixels and either youtube thumbnails or minifigs #what’s going on with his design by the way. why does he have blades strapped to him #pretend his hair is smokey okay idk how to draw smoke #when i saw his design before s2 came out i clocked him as a cold tundra ish terrain design cause of the fur and the wolves #so i gave him like winter gloves even tho that’s unpractical for him but whatever #something about his hair being smokey the way your breath fogs in the cold you understand #the crosses and lines on his armor idk i searched up samurai armor cause i have no idea what they’re supposed to be #he’s a middle aged man to me so it’s kinda funny he’s beefing with a teenager (jordana) #i wanted to see a grudging solidarity under the cat guys rule sort of relationship but no the girls are fighting i guess #what happened with the old guy by the way how does that timeline work #cinder would have to be born after s4 and there’s NO CHANCE this guy is younger than kai #did the pacing of this season feel weird to anyone else or have i just not watched ninjago for too long #anyways #ninjago #lego ninjago #dragons rising #ninjago dr s2 #ninjago cinder #cinder ninjago #i hope thats his name i dont rember #ninjago dr spoilers #sort of #jellos scribbles

[time-is-restored]

btw not to make everything about My Fucking Guy but i honestly think one of the things that seperates q!phil out from the other islanders is the approach he takes to dealing with the lack of agency + control all the islanders have over whatever the fuck the federation's doing.

it shows up most prominently whenever tubbo is excitedly telling him about the 'progress' he's made with cucurucho or various investigations (ie: trapping him into a corner with the 'do you have free will' questions), and phil always shoots it down w an immediate 'that doesn't mean anything. curucuho will say anything to mess with you. you can't take anything he says as true.'

and it's not that phil is... a paticularly pessimistic character? he's just EXTREMELY practical. like, he's yet to give up on anyone EVER finding ANY answers (he was the one who initially gave the federation that one week ultimatum w the cage for a cage stream), he just doesn't trust the idea that curucuho is ever going to voluntarily give them. they're uncontrollable + senseless - you might as well argue with the weather.

and like, if that's how he sees the one (1) and only point of contact the islanders HAD with the federation for months, it explains a lot abt his characters lifestyle! ofc he sits on the wall all day, talking to his kids, and keeping his head down. he believes that the federation wants nothing more than to drag the islanders into sick games + tasks just so they can fuck with their head (ie: curucuho revealing he was the one cellbit gathered all that information for). and while he can't totally PREVENT any of that from ever impacting him, he can make sure his kids are well fed, well protected, and as happy + comfortable as he can manage. this is objectively not a perfect situation, there is a guaranteed amount of suffering + fear that he can't mitigate, but he can at least account for it.

like, he REFUSES to engage. whenever curucho shows up, he treats them with total ambivalence. he's not going to get riled up by anything they do, he's not going to get super attached to the guy, he's just gonna laugh it off and irish goodbye it when things drag on. the ONLY time he's strayed from that general guiding principle has been since he's lost his eggs, and can no longer afford to let the federation's fuckery go: those are his fucking kids.

hence the completely unprecedented levels of outward rage and sadness and terror he shows throughout the birdcage streams - almost all directed directly to cucurucho. it's all a completely fair + proportional response to the horror the islanders are being subjected to, but it feels so different bc until now, q!phil has been so dedicated to not reacting, and not giving the federation any sign that they're actually getting to him.

#qsmp #q!phil #LIKE. does anyone else think this! i genuinely believe its like one of the major #traits of his character i feel like u can trace it through Everything. #the man lives with the constant knowledge that sometimes all it takes is a tempting ravine and a badly timed creeper to end a life #whether that life belongs to a stranger or someone you love more than anything else in the world #you COULD rage against that. you could scream and shout and tear your hair out and grieve for the futility of it all #but what does that change? the days march on. death waits either way #and that's not to say he's a laizesfair kind of guy. anyone who's seen him stress out abt chayanne's risk taking + freak out #whenever his kids don't have enough autofeed grist can see that he cares DEEPLY. which resolves into his very distinctive #defensive + protective playstyle. the goal is not to win the fight the goal is to *survive* the fight etc #but the only way that mindset doesn't spill out into unchecked paranoia + complete agoraphobia is with acceptance #'shit happens: the philza minecraft story' #i also think it even manifests in the nightmare sequence w his last words to chayanne? 'they didn't want us to live. we were never supposed #to survive' or whatever the exact wording was #he is FURIOUS and deeply hurt and sad abt the deaths he says so explicitly later #but at the time the first thing he reaches for is. exhausted acceptance. it wasn't their fault. it wasn't his fault. they did their best. #they could only do so much in the face of the federation's Overwhelming Hostility. y'know? #mine