#did I mention that your art is gold and your creative mind a gold mine

[strangerays]

Nothing in Particular Update #3

About seven months and I finished the first draft at 93k!

I always imagined how it would feel to finish a first draft (I’ve been writing novels “seriously” since about 2017) and now that I’ve finally done it, I can say it’s a better feeling than I imagined! Telling my friends and family (and even my doctor, who was really quite excited about it) was an amazing amazing thing. I’m generally pretty nervous to tell people about my work, but I had a really positive reaction. Honestly all of it has me on a creative high (not sure I’m coming down from that any time soon lol).

I’m going back for my last year of school in two days, which means I’m not going to have as much time as I did to write all summer. This is okay, because I’m actually going to take an entire month off of writing! I’m really burnt out - don’t want to start editing a story that’s so near to me if I don’t feel ready. I’ll talk more about editing when the time comes!

In a lot of ways, I found that my life mimicked my art. I think for a lot of people, it tends to be the other way around, but this story did a lot to heal me.

Going to hop right into excerpts now! I’m not going to explain much this far into the story because I would like to try to publish this story (FAR in the future) so I apologize for that! Also, I stopped naming most of the chapters until I go back and edit because there are just SO MANY and I didn’t have the time to stop and think of cool names. Anyways... enjoy!!

(Here is the link to the original masterpost!)

#1

text: Rays of gold curled to the ground, primordial and shy as the fire reeds on the cusps of shallow pool around the bay outside of Mothouse combed them to fine sparkles. I remembered the way Lonan kneeled on the edges of this pool. He never dove in – just blinked slowly as he watched crabs and minnows chase each other in a swirl of sand. I could not resist the water. I’d made it a part of me. My hair was longer then; down to my elbows, fading from dark red to orange and white, soaked always. Lonan let me borrow his shirts when I forgot to bring my own. They hung from my waist, too big for me, and I was warm even as the breeze rocked us inside.

#2

text: The sky was never blue in Point Blink. At least, I couldn’t remember the last time the clouds hadn’t given way to a dark gray mist. Jude was here. I was out of place. I was floating – watching slender, underfed pines wave in the breeze behind houses on the water before they disappeared underneath furls of cloud. Bursts of warm light shone in windows on the bay, like hungry eyes watching for a storm. A group of kids our age chaffed on a rocky expanse, their heads popping over pockets of darkness when they laughed. Froths of cloud stretched across the sky, moving the ground with it. Long stretches of trees and islands far on the other side of our small pocket of ocean looked more like large freight ships. Lights glittered and beamed on the roads and highways that belonged to the city. Pink was starting to show over the horizon. Lonan was on the other side. Somewhere.

#3

text: 

Jude sucked her lips in and flopped onto her stomach so she could see the blue below her feet. Her dark curls draped over her ears and hid her nose.

“I can’t see the bottom of the ocean.” She cupped her fingers with the other hand. “See where the water fades to white and back again? The endless tide. Why do people say the ocean is blue?”

I leaned forward. She was right. Blue ocean climbed up the side of the cliffs and turned the rocks a dark gray; ate the erosion as if from a plate. I’d never had the ocean explained to me that way before.

“I think I like it that way,” I said.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what was at the bottom of Point Blink.

#4

text: 

She smiled weakly. “It’s okay. This is just guesswork. Patchwork.”

I wanted to apologize again, but I had a strong guess that it might make her annoyed with me. “It’s kind of like… I’m just waiting for the next bad thing to happen.”

She wrinkled her nose and eyebrows, scrunched up her little face. “That’s dumb.”

“I think it’s a smart way to live.” Sometimes it felt like worry was the only thing that kept me alive. It wasn’t dumb at all.

“You’re going to be fine though. We’re going to be fine. If something bad happens, we’ll deal with it. Don’t let it eat you.”

There was wisdom in what this seventeen-year-old girl on my bed had offered me. I caught it like a gold coin. Before I could reply with anything, she launched into another question. I didn’t want to think much about change anyways.

#5

text:

“Oh. Wow. That’s like, next year.” I sort of laughed.

“A year can be a long time,” Lonan said with a wince. “What do you think?”          

I sighed through my nose and leaned back with him. The sun was going down. Sometimes, my life felt less like a golden hourglass and more like a stopwatch with a broken face.

“For once, I think I agree with your mom.”

Lonan just stared at me, with something like awe.

“I think you should do what you want,” I said.

 “Ray,” Lonan started.

“No,” I interrupted him. “It’s not about me. She’s stopped you from doing anything and everything you’ve wanted to for the last four years, so when you go to college, you’ve got to separate yourself from this place.” I pointed to him. “You’re allowed to do this.”

#6

text: 

Maybe I was just being strange. Lonan was my best friend. It didn’t help that there was a little bit of him in everything – the tide pools, the echo of shells, my broken camera.

Soon, we stood in the center of the field. A breeze whispered through the cattails, fanning against our knees. Ellis loped behind me as I stepped in and out of tire tracks under the cloudless sun. She wasn’t much different than Jude. Her footsteps crunched excitedly behind mine, excited at the prospect of an unprecedented adventure. I’d missed those.

Lonan said he didn’t like to walk in fields because the wind tricked him into thinking that someone was behind him. Every brisk of his heel was a trick of the mind. Sometimes I felt the same way, like I might be haunted.

#7

text: 

The ageless water begged me closer, frizzed my hair and swathed my arms in a sweet, familiar scent. I remembered galloping down to the shore with a childhood friend in one May. Soft piano accompanied croaky lyrics from someone’s radio when we fell chest-first into the water. Static erupted in my head. There had been nothing new for me in Point Blink for so long that I’d forgotten what it was like to float. Grass turned into pebbles, and I heard Ellis’ footsteps soften to the beat of the sand. Our eyes crumbled the shells that walled the long expanse of dark sand where waves rolled in. We leaned over like two swans, crunching shells beneath our feet, displaying shells to one another, naming the ones we recognized, and when I looked out at the horizon, I saw blue.

Red plastic cups, cigarettes, and even some broken glass stuck out through the sand as we made our way further down the shoreline, as if someone had thrown a party. My brow furrowed. Maybe this part of the beach wasn’t so abandoned after all.

Between the spit of the waves and dry sand lay some sort of book. Sand trickled out of the pages and onto my shoes when I swept it out of line of an oncoming wave. Ellis was beside me in moments. Shells tolled under her shoes.

#8

*Warning for mention of blood (fake blood and fake knife!!) this takes place on Halloween haha*

text: 

Jude held the container in her palm, kneeled down so we were shoulder to shoulder. Her eyes fixed on the knife in my neck, mine on her hands, then her focused expression. Her fingers tipped my chin up, cold on my skin. I tried not to move. Suddenly, I wasn’t thinking about Dad, or Raven, or Lonan. I only let Jude in – this girl who had come out of nowhere and wrecked me, saved me. And she didn’t know any of that. I didn’t owe anything to her, but I needed her. She kept us afloat when I couldn’t even keep myself above water. Her fingers painted blood over the center of my throat, our breath quiet on each other’s cheeks. She held my shoulder as she set back.               

“Absolutely feral,” she said.

#9

text: 

“Point Blink is all I have. It’s where I am, what I am.” My throat was tight. “It’s all I’ve known. I am happy with my life. And I’m sorry, but I’m not willing to throw all of that away so we can dig up answers. I want to stay.”

 Jude sat there for a moment. I think Florian and Ellis had turned to look at us, because when we went silent, I could no longer heat their hushed whispers, only the sound of water as it rose and rose and rose. I wondered if it would rain.

Jude sat up on her hands, then her knees, then she stood over me.

“Is that what you honestly believe?”

Tears bubbled in her eyes. Blood streaked down her cheeks. I’d been so focused on not crying, I had missed when she started to.

“Point Blink is just the same as anywhere,” she said. The words sat somewhere above her inside her chest, weak and frail, as though they’d been realized a long time ago.

I’d stared into her eyes until they disappeared. She grabbed onto a branch above her and quietly swung herself around a corner. Her footsteps echoed until they dissolved into waves and birds and frogs and left me in the dark.

#10

*Warning for strong language!*

text:

“Why didn’t you tell me how you’d been feeling?” he asked after a few moments of silence. It was beginning to stretch uncomfortably.

“I know I don’t deserve to know,” he added, “but you’ve always put me first.”

I picked at the wood that peeled from the fence.

“I just want you to be okay,” Lonan croaked. “Please tell me what to do.”

Even when we were together, we still worried about each other. It wasn’t always that way. Maybe that was my fault. I didn’t want to think about it.

 “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” I mumbled into the crisp, red air. “To be fair, I didn’t know it like I know now for a long time. I think sometimes I got the same way as a kid. Now I have a name for it, and I still don’t know if it feels right.” I sighed. “I guess… I guess I just thought that was how things were supposed to be. I thought I was only the humming low and the high.”

“Of course that’s not how you’re fucking supposed to be.”

 I coughed on a laugh, wiped away a new set of tears. On the rare occasion that Lonan did swear, he sounded much like he was doing it for the first time.

I hadn’t fully realized what I’d said before Lonan’s hand was around my arm. He pulled me close to his chest. I felt smaller than him; warm and safe. I exhaled and sunk into him, didn’t allow anything else in. I’d almost forgotten what that felt like.

“You’re funny and smart and better than a lot of people.”

And... that wraps up all of my excerpts for the time being! I really enjoyed writing the last four chapters of this book. Of course they aren’t perfect. A lot of the book needs improvement. There are entire characters who are flat and plot lines I just forgot about! Come October, I plan to get back into my edits/rewrite the story.

Really quick before I finish writing this:

I just wanted to thank everyone who read about my story and showed genuine interest in the characters. Had I not received all of this love from people in real life and online, I might never have finished this draft at all. When I started this story, my mental health was really quite bad. (I’m doing a whole lot better these days!!) I guess you could say the idea started as more of a journal entry. All of these characters are like little parts of me coming together to help the main character, and I think there’s something really special about that.

Thank you so much! Good luck on all your creative endeavors! It pays off in the end, I promise :)

tag list (ask to be +/-); @wannabeauthorzofija @a-completely-normal-writer @baguettethebooklover @corkytheguar​ @writeherewaiting @cryptid-s-wips @kingsinking @author-a-holmes

#my little note at the end says it all haha #thank you so so much for reading! #I still can't believe I finished this book on five hours of sleep

[giggles-and-freckles]

creator tag game

Ooh, thanks for the tag @pandora15!! I’m excited to go through the tags of this and read some of the things from all of you that I never got the chance to read!!

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

---

that one person  (snips & skyguy, mostly just banter and fluff as they teach each other some lessons with laser swords and hearts of gold)

I’d be remiss if I did not mention my first ever fic! I read it now and cringe a bit (which is crazy bc I only wrote it in August!! but yay for growth!), but I still really do love it. I’ve said this a few times over the past few months, but I watched my first EVER Star Wars movie in January (and it was TFA hahaha). As I devoured any and all SW content in those first couple months of quarantine, Anakin and Ahsoka are what first compelled me and brought me to this fandom. Their dynamic feels like home to me.

all too young (obi & soka, cold starry nights on Onderon and hurt/comfort for their brother-friend)

This is what catapulted me into my Obi-Wan and Ahsoka obsession! I’d always been very interested in them as a duo based on their limited little moments in TCW, but my imagination really got the best of me on this one. I was thinking about late night conversations between my grandpa and me and how that would play out for Obi and Soka and, before I knew it, I had written this fic and become literally incapable of thinking about anything else. That...hasn’t subsided. Haha.

hologram heart-to-hearts (obi & soka, hurt/comfort and angst as the two navigate the difficulties of staying in touch after Ahsoka’s departure from the order)

This makes me smile to think about because it’s what got me here! I had kind of been a lurker on Tumblr for about a month, maybe? And I’m honestly not sure what compelled me to post this here, but I did, and then, before I knew it, I had my first reblog and my first follower and then poof. Now I have a sweet little internet home. My own personal SW found fam. 

nothing a cup of tea can’t fix (disaster trio sick-fic, humour, light fluff, anakin being a dramatic whiny baby. y’know–the WORKS.)

This one is just a personal favourite of mine. I’m really proud of some of the dialogue and this is the fic that stands out in my mind as one where I really started to feel the characters. They each fit into a different part of my imagination and, since this fic, I do not struggle as much to change hats anymore. There are pretty clear distinctions where one character ends and another begins and this fic showed me where those are and what to do with them.

brilliant (obi & ani, hurt/comfort and mechanical arms)

And lastly, this one! I found some new bread and butter that I liked with this fic. Honestly, though, what SW author doesn’t like writing the frustrations of Obi-Wan and Anakin being incompetent idiots with their communication skills and then making them hug it out? Again, the dialogue in this particular fic feels more real to me than some of my other stuff. I remember how easy and quick this was to write because I could so viscerally see every part of this interaction happening in front of me. It wasn’t in the Halls of Healing, it was in my room. Also, this story was inspired by one of my dyslexic students who had an outburst as I worked with him on reading, so it feels very personal. 

no pressure tags: I’m gonna be honest and say that I’ve seen just about every possible fic author be tagged in this at some point tonight already haha, so I’m going to focus on artists whom I admire to spread the love! If I’m tagging you, you may not know me, but please know how appreciative I am of you and the creativity you bring to this fandom in a way I am physically incapable of! 

You can partake or not...I just mainly wanted you to know WE FIC-WRITERS SEE YA AND LOVE YA. @thenegoteator @autumnchild22 @rolrol @ginger-sass-master @hollyoakhill @space-passenger @rrrainbo @lugzug 

#tag game #this was fun and therapeutic #getting married at 22 in a global pandemic is....stressful #today was one of those days #but this was FUN!

[royallyanxious]

Deep water

Summary: Roman used to have blue eyes.

Pairing: romantic roceit

Word count: <5k words

Trigger warnings: brief mentions of blood, injury mention, sea being cruel

Ao3 link here

The story was inspired by this post

Author’s note: Not gonna lie. This fic is for two amazing people @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 and @ellistruggle. Thank you for inspiration

The legend says that Roman used to have blue eyes. 

Various versions of the story were passed around between ships of both mortal and immortal, of both holy and unholy ones… Every soul at the sea knew the melody of this song but nobody could sing it without a hitch. It was one of the tales that never made it to the books but lived in many hearts, for many years. For some, it was the proof of the highest price one must pay for living at the sea. For others it was a confirmation that gold is the only real treasure. Finally, there was a small group of people who didn’t believe the story - those led the loneliest of lives.

Because it was real. This legend. The tale of Roman and the love of his life. The love of his life gifted with the voice of an angel, the body of a monster, the soul of a devil and a quivering heart that ached for Roman only…

It was a tragic love-story between Roman and a merman. 

***

“Logan… You’ve been sailing with Roman for so long…” sing-sang Patton, gently patting Logan’s forearms while Virgil subtly pushed the bottle with rum towards them. 

“I will not ask for another free pass for you, Patton.” Logan stated sternly, suspiciously eyeing the bottle in front of him. Those young ones… so naive for thinking that something like that would make him talk.

“Oh, I wouldn’t dare!” Patton innocently fluttered his eyes. Damn, his long eyelashes and soft lips. “It’s just that Virgil and I…” he stopped in favour of playing with the hem of his shirt, “It’s just that we…”

“Yes?” Logan arched his eyebrow. The rain outside intensified. Internally he thanked Roman for docking tonight, instead of setting off as they originally planned.

“Patton means to ask if you know what really happened to Roman’s eyes!” blurted Virgil, clenching his hands into fists. Logan couldn’t help but smile a little bit. In his opinion, Virgil was not a fit for a pirate. But he was undoubtedly loyal and loyalty was something highly treasured in the sea.

“Roman’s eyes?” Logan repeated, as if he didn’t know what they were talking about. 

It was hard not to notice though. The flash of crimson at the centre, the dark shade of drying blood around the irises. The teasing sparkles that pulled out the most poisonous of scarlets. The brilliance of rusty reds and vivid corals paired with razor-sharp gaze that made people shiver and avert their eyes. Logan - quartermaster on Creativity - shuddered. It was hard to forget Roman’s blood red eyes.

And it was even harder to stop having nightmares about them.

Patton scooted closer, pulling Logan out of the maze of his memory. Patton’s hands rested on Logan’s shoulder, curse him for that warm skin.

“You know…” Patton started lowly, “They say that they weren’t always red. His eyes.”

Logan licked his lips and glanced at Patton and Virgil. Their round faces, scattered with freckles, their earnest eyes, the hollows on Virgil’s cheeks, the scar running over Patton’s temple. They looked like a good kids...

Completely ignoring the rum, Logan sat on the table, pushing Patton’s hands away. He didn’t need those forms of encouragement to tell the story. Sighing heavily, Logan wiped his glasses, leaving wet smudges. If there was one thing he hated in living on the ship, it was the constant humidity. 

“First of all, I want you to know that when I met Roman, his eyes have already been red,” Logan started carefully, watching for reactions. Virgil and Patton immediately moved, pushing the barrels they were sitting on closer to Logan. Their noisy curiosity was truly endearing. 

Once they settled down, he nodded with content. He was almost sure that they wouldn’t tell anyone of what they would hear today, “So mind you that everything I will tell you tonight is a passed story.” Logan added nonetheless.

“Is that a warning?” Virgil laughed anxiously. Not a fit for a sailor at all.

“It’s a promise.” grinned Logan in response. “It’s a promise that you will hear this story again and again and again from people who know Roman from legends only. Every single time you hear the new version, you will start doubting which is the authentic one.”

“And who told you your version of the story, Logan?” peeped Patton. He was practically shaking from excitement. 

“Mine?” Logan’s thin lips stretched into a wicked grin, reminding everyone just why he was the quartermaster, “Oh, I heard it from Roman himself. He's, perhaps, the least trustworthy source...”

***

Roman’s eyes used to be in the color of the horizon. The color of the future. That peculiar shade of teal which can be seen on the thin line dividing sky from the ocean. The resemblance was uncanny. 

And they said: one evening, as a child, Roman looked into the mirror and saw the world opening itself right in front of him. He saw the treasures hidden deep on the bottom of the ocean, the diamonds waiting for him in the caves that weren't drawn on maps and the pearls shyly peaking through the parted lips of the green clams.

The very map of the most valued of values was hidden behind the thick veil of Roman’s eyelashes, at the teal bottom of his eyes. And he saw that every route and every track leading to those riches was drawn with azure line that pointed beyond the horizon.

But, Roman saw something more. Something that he promised to never share with anyone before he could grasp it with his own hands.

He saw gold. Shining in the sunlight, shimmering under the water. He was young, so young back then, and he thought that it must have been golden coins glimmering in the crystal clear water. Twinkling brightly under the surface just like the stars twinkle on the midnight sky. 

It became a sole purpose for Roman. To touch, to grasp, to own this gold treasure.

The sea lured him, the ocean tempted him, the salt on his tongue mocked him. The deep waters and secrets hidden within them were what he was meant for - he realized and set off into the open seas of the unknown future.

***

“Did he find it?” Patton gasped, clenching his fingers around Logan’s wrist. The quartermaster didn’t bother to shake it off.

“Shush, don’t interrupt him, Patton,” tsked Virgil. His eyes were as big as saucers. Beneath a thick layer of interest, first sparks of longing were waking up to life. Logan smiled internally. This must have been what Roman meant when he said that Virgil had a potential that needed to be encouraged. Just like everyone who ended up in the sea, Virgil too longed for an adventure.

“I can’t stand the tension!” pouted Patton, looking impatiently at Logan. “So… did he find it? Did he find the gold? The treasures?”

The quartermaster’s lips broke into a smile but his eyes remained sad. Troubled even. He reached out and swiftly pulled the abandoned bottle. The room filled with the biting scent of rum. Logan watched the liquid in the bottle. In the candlelight the glass looked as if it was made out of jade, reminding of the treasures hidden in the seas.

“Yes,” Logan said finally, corked up the bottle and put it away. “At last Roman found the gold, he dreamt of.”

***

Sun after the storm - that’s how Roman referred to that day, that hour, that moment. There was also another expression he used to describe it. The other term that he uttered in secret, in complete silence when he was alone as if he was afraid that the demons may come after him and rip the words out of his throat.

“The fateful day that gold came to life.”

He was the only survivor from the storm that wrecked their ship. That much was clear. Roman watched all of his companions sink in the sea. He didn’t remember hearing the screams but he remembered the loud crash of waves above his head and that was enough. It was his first thought when he drifted back into consciousness. 

His eyes - his teal eyes - were heavy and his lungs - warm with red blood lungs - were still full of the salty water. The soil beneath him smelt of algas and fish. And yet there was no saying, even then, that Roman woke up to live up to his dream.

The island appeared deserted. As deserted as he could tell by far. The sand was white and warm and the forest teased him insufferably with the possibility of finding something edible. But Roman was smarter than this. The most beautiful sceneries were hiding the darkest secrets. 

So he walked down the shore, watching the familiar line of the horizon, enjoying the softness under his feet, breathing the air that he missed deeply when caged under the water. 

The cove was small, too small for any ship to dock there. It was beautiful, yes, but if on a ship Roman would pay it no mind. But he had no ship and it was still a cove - probably the only place on this island that could possibly keep him alive. Sighing, Roman slipped down the rocks, hand clasped around long, sharpened stick. 

His footsteps were perfectly silent. The way he walked, the way he sneaked, it was an art itself, it was a part of Roman that he kept buried deep inside. The delicate, fanciful side. The side that yearned for beauty. 

He became a part of the scenery before he realized it - the only survivor with his hair tossed back, with his shirt stiff with the remaining salt and with teal eyes that mirrored the color of horizon.

The colors were spilling into the cove like an avalanche, brashly flashing with intensive hues against the shy whites of the sand. The greens as fresh as spring sprouts, the bronzes that tasted like chocolate, finally the azures and pale-blues bearing a peace and comfort. Beauty and grace was blossoming in the cove as one watched, leaving no space for wrongness.

Nothing, however could prepare Roman for the beauty he saw when he crouched on the big rock and looked into the crystal clear water.

The way it shone in his eyes, the way it shimmered, the way it teased his senses. It was a song itself. The gold was singing to him before Roman even heard voice. Before he even learnt that his gold - his beloved dream - had a voice.

His eyes raked over the long trace of golden scales - tiny but beautiful. His appreciation was growing with every inch covered with golden beads. He was taking in the view for as long as long the tail was - until it started melting into something softer, something wavering beneath the surface, something that made his breath hitch.

“Mermaid-” he gasped, instinctively backing away. 

That sound itself was enough. It had to be because - what Roman didn’t know by then - he also had a voice that sounded beautifully in mermaid’s ears. 

The surface rippled, the miniature waves hit the rocks and tiny bubbles of air rose to the surface. Roman blinked and suddenly there was a person - a man - leaning over the stone right in front of him. He was gazing curiously at Roman, his head tilted a little bit as if Roman was something to examine - not something to lure into deep water and drown. Drops of water were scattered across his cheeks, neck and shoulder like tiny freckles. They sparkled like a brilliant glitter.

“Don’t come any closer!” squeaked Roman and the man smiled in response.

“It may come as a surprise to you,” he replied, his voice mellow and relaxed, “But I can’t really step out of the water whenever I can.” his golden tail for a moment appeared over the surface, splashing the water at Roman.

And maybe it was the pirate’s soul in him or maybe it was the velvet-like tone in merman’s voice but Roman reached out, trying to grasp the gold that he had been searching for all his life. And soon there was hand in his hand and it was cold and slick but somehow it fitted perfectly and if earlier Roman had any doubts on the situation, now his fears were long gone. He chase for long but now the treasure was under his fingertips.

“I’m Roman,” his thumb ran over the barely visible scales on merman’s hands.

“I don’t have a name that you could use beyond the surface.” the merman shook his head. His eyes - golden eyes - were earnestly shining with hope and something akin to shame. “Every name I would tell you, would be a lie.” 

“May I choose a name for you?” Roman leaned down, gazing at merman from above.

“You may choose your name for me. And I will wear it proudly.” 

“Then, I choose a name ‘Deceit’. Since everything is a lie.”

The merman - Deceit - laughed loudly and it was like thousands of bells started ringing all at once. “Darling,” he purred, “Everything might be a lie, but I’m plenty real.” he smiled showing a row of sharp teeth. And Roman? Roman smiled because before his heart was long gone and his eyes and teals were now meant for one person only.

That was how their fate sealed before it even finished forming and the maps in Roman’s eyes were flooded with hot and crashing waves of passion.

They talked about this moment later, sitting almost side by side - Roman above the water and Deceit beneath it. They talked about it when they were almost touching - nothing more than the delicate weight of one hand on the other. They talked about this moment trying to figure out what brought them together and how they knew that they were meant for each other. Trying to figure out how was it possible that they responded to bonding song so quickly. 

Like the tidal waves, they meant halfway and clashed into each other with a force so strong that it was enough to wake up the monsters sleeping in the oceans. And by the way water flowed around them and by the way the horizon darkened, they knew that their love had no chance against the power of the sea.

***

In the books that are no longer readable and in the memories of people who died a long time ago there are stories. Legends. Warnings. 

If a man or a woman are married to the sea, they have no right to fall in love with the Child of Waves and Tears.

The sea is not a forgiving lover, not a merciful partner, once it closes the heavy lid over your head - it won’t let you out. And if you try to escape it will reach out for you, it will chase after you until it catches you, crading the soft body and warm skin close to its chest.

That’s how the sea loves its lovers.

That’s how it forbids them to meld with its children. 

***

Roman wasn’t blind. He could see the dark clouds over their heads. Deceit wasn’t mute, he could hear the way sea roared for them. Both of them. Every day was pushing them straight into the arms of tragedy.

Therefore, their first kiss was chaste and filled with as much excitement as fear. 

Deceit was so close and when Roman leaned down like he always did, it turned out that they were much closer than expected. The smell of salt and home. Their shared home - the sea.

When the skin brushed the skin and when the lips brushed against the lips, the sky above them opened, tearing the taste off their lips.

Roman guessed that Deceit tasted like salt and water but he couldn’t be sure. The sea didn’t let him find out. He could watch and he could touch but he couldn’t melt into Deceit as he used to melt into cold waves that lulled him into sleep for so many years. He longed. 

Once the rain stopped, they read the signs on the sand. Deceit’s tail was reflecting the colorful shades of the rainbow above their heads. 

“It appears clear to me that Mother doesn’t want for us to stay together,” whispered Deceit, his lips dangerously close to Roman’s ear.

“Mother?” echoed Roman.

Deceit looked at the horizon. Its color reminded him of Roman’s eyes. Deceit had always dreamt of crossing the line of horizon. 

“The sea may be my mother but you pledged yourself to her and she likes you too much to let go off you. It’s obvious by the way she favours you. She was merciful enough to bring us together. Throwing me into the cove and throwing you at the shore. It’s her doing.” Deceit ran his fingers up Roman’s thigh. He wished he was strong enough to fully pull his body out of the water. “She felt our destiny but didn’t expect for it to fulfill the rest of our life.”

“So the sea…” Roman’s voice broke a little bit. The song in Deceit’s ears had never been sadder. “She wants us apart.”

***

“But Roman loves the sea!” Patton explained, barely holding back his tears. “He couldn’t just give up on that!”

“He couldn’t,” Logan agreed quietly. The waves shook the ship, trying to push the memories out of his head. “Neither could Deceit. The sea made both of them. Gave them purpose in life, gave them solace and home. And they offered their life in return.”

***

Love is like a double edged sword - it is a perfect weapon but it could easily be used against the warrior holding it. 

The sea was smart - she knew that they would give up their life for each other so she had to take something much more precious from them. She had to steal something imprinted in their memory. Something as precious as their most hidden treasures. She had to break them apart with their own weapon.

The storm broke in the middle of the night when everything was as dark as spilled ink. They never slept close - Deceit needed water to restore his energy and Roman needed the tiniest amount of warmth that a shelter could provide. 

Two screams intertwined in the sky in one, shared song. It was barely audible over the loud thunder and thick streams of rain. 

Roman could feel the sharp cut of the wind and water on his legs, arms and face. It didn’t stop him though, he kept walking towards the water, step by step, inch by inch. He thought he could hear a broken sob in the air. It was wet, heart-wrecking sound and Roman knew that it was the sea crying for him and Deceit. She hated their suffering but she also hated the idea of them being together even more. One final blow of icy cold wind slapped Roman across his face, digging into his eyes, forcing tears out of them, making the maps and plans slip down his cheeks. He didn’t stop to gather them. He didn’t shove them into pockets. Instead he walked over them, crushing teal veils under his heels.

One thought - get to Deceit as fast as it was humanly possible. He didn’t even get that only last chance.

Roman passed away midway through the beach. Just a couple of meters away from his beloved.

***

Deceit pushed himself up the shore while his arms screamed in pain. He knew that he had to get away from water unless he wanted it to throw him into the darkest corners of the globe, for so long that he would lose his way back to Roman. 

“Better now or never.” he hissed through clenched teeth, focusing on the skin under the golden scales on his tail. Some merfolk could transform their tail into legs but Deceit had never tried that before.

He expected the pain, he expected the turmoil. He didn’t expect the fire. Filled with cold blood and used to the icy water Deceit knew no warmth except of Roman’s. The fire ripping his scales of was unbearable. Every scale felt as if it was set on fire as if it was trying to burn out the remaining gold.

He tried moving further, dragging his barely-legs behind himself.

He passed away midway through the beach. Just a couple of meters from his beloved.

***

“And what happened next?” Patton inquired, practically leaning on Logan’s side. His stubby fingers were digging into quartermaster’s arm. Virgil with fevered eyes was peaking over his brother’s shoulder.

Logan shrugged, knowing well that his answer would disappoint the audience. It happened to the best of stories - it was tempting to colorize the ending. But Logan promised to himself that he would tell this story as it was told to him.

“That’s the end. Roman and Deceit never met again.” he sighed, hopping off the table, “Few days later Roman was found unconscious on the drifting boat. His pockets were full of golden coins. When he opened his eyes they have already been red.”

Patton’s face dropped, “So the color…”

Helplessly, to show just as little of comfort he had to offer, Logan opened his arms. What was he supposed to say? That Roman’s eyes lost the color when the sea hit him with the final blow? That the teal canvas slipped off and buried down in the white sand on some neglected island? Logan was a pirate, he had seen many strange things but even he sometimes had doubts for this part of the story.

“I told you at the beginning,” huffed Logan, pushing the table back under the wall, “Roman told me this story and you know that he has a tendency to… embellish some aspects.”

Virgil nodded thoughtfully. The adventurous sparks were still shining in his eyes. Maybe he was a fit for a pirate after all. 

“What did Roman do with the gold though?” Patton poked Virgil’s cheek.

“Oh, that?” Logan asked and drained the bottle, “He spent all of this money to buy Creativity and hire the crew. And, among many others, I was lucky enough to be a part of that first crew.” he added with a very self-pleased smile. It was clear that he was very proud of that.

The storm outside shook the windows. More of the violent raindrops drummed against the glass, splashing the streams that were already running down them. 

“Now that you know this story you can stop asking.” finished Logan, talking a step towards the door. “But don’t mention Roman that you heard it from me. Although I know that he wouldn’t be angry for telling you, he just… doesn’t like being reminded of Deceit.” 

With these words Logan left the room, leaving Virgil and Patton alone with their thoughts and silent mourning after the tragic love. 

***

The rainpour was getting bigger and bigger as Roman slipped into the mostly abandoned warehouse. The door closed behind him with a barely loud squeak. Tentatively, Roman looked around trying to see through the darkness surrounding him. Slowly, as his eyes got used to the darkness, the shadows started reminding more of shapes than a blurry nothingness. The barrels, empty caskets, piles of wood and finally - the skeleton of a ship that was never meant to be finished. 

Feeling vaguely secure Roman stepped further into the warehouse. He could hear the water splashing against the sharp edges of the stones where the water met with the ground. 

His heart was pounding inside his chest. He really hoped that his feeling wasn't wrong. But no, it couldn't be. He doubted he could ever mistake the song in his ears for something else. Every sound and every tune was perfectly audible for him, despite the rain trashing the harbor outside. The song was growing louder and cleared over the past few days, ever since he saw the dark clouds of the horizon.

Rain, yes rain. The stormy clouds - the twin sisters of the sea. 

It was… Familiar. How could he possibly forget both the song in his ears and the sound of rain that aimed to drag him away from the singer. 

Roman took another step forward. Wet stone crunched under his heel. 

"Silence did not become one of your traits, I presume."

Roman froze. He thought that he was prepared. He wasn't. 

"Dee…" He uttered, frantically looking for a familiar shadow under the water. The song in his ears stopped. 

Melodic laugh vibrated through the air, shaking Roman's body to the core. 

"Last time I checked you called me another name," replied still shapeless, bodiless, faceless Deceit. 

With shaking hands Roman tried to light up the matches he was clenching. Only lonely spark jumped into the water, for a moment, brightening the darkness beneath the surface. There was nothing there. 

Letting out a shaky exhale, Roman laughed nervously, "I thought that giving you a nickname would be a nice touch." He said, fumbling with another match. 

And suddenly there were hands on his hand - cold and silky wet - and there was a weight on his back and if someone was leaning over him. And there was a breath on his earshell and it smelt like salt and home. 

"It is a nice touch, I must admit." The whisper was much closer this time. It was the voice of the devil, the voice of the monster, the voice of Roman’s greatest love.

Roman watched the cold hand lay over his and press the match against the flint. Fire erupted in front of his eyes. He quickly lit up the fuse of his lantern and the room filled up with warmth that Roman felt in his heart. It was hard to turn around. Not yet. Not yet. He wasn’t ready. Even though he waited for so long. The thunder slashed the sky above the roof, sending sparks through his body.

“Well, I guess that Mother’s not happy for our meeting.” laughed Deceit bitterly, pressing his cheek against Roman’s shoulder.

Wet laugh rolled down Roman’s tongue. It turned out to be more of a sob than a laugh. There was a shift behind him and then there were lips pressing against his neck and a whisper against his earshell.

“I want to look into your eyes, Roman.”

And Roman had always been weak for that sweet voice, for that beautiful song. In a split of a second - as if someone finally pulled his strings - he turned around and it was like all the air fled from his lungs.

“Deceit.” he uttered and pressed his lips against the lips, for the first time tasting its salt. It was somewhat sweet of Roman’s tongue.

The kiss was returned within a second, of course it was. It was the first time they could actually kiss even if it was just for a moment, even if it was just for a minute. 

The wind and rain had already been banging against the doors and windows when Roman stepped away, his hands still resting on Deceit’s arms. Only then did he realize that Deceit was standing, standing, in front of him without any help. 

“I learnt how to turn my tail into legs,” explained Deceit, seeing Roman’s gaze. He sounded almost embarrassed and Roman’s heart flipped in his chest. 

Soon enough however that shy expression melted under the pressure of something gloomier. Deceit’s hand moved to cup Roman’s cheek, thumb running over the skin beneath his eye.

“I see. That Mother wasn’t entirely merciful for you either.” He said, letting out a pained sigh, “Your eyes.” he added, sensing Roman’s confusion, “They used to be different color.” 

“I cried the color out of them when I realized that we parted.” said Roman smiling slightly, brushing his fingers against the reddened scales covering a half of Deceit’s face.

“Ha, and here I thought that I was the bigger liar among the two of us,” Deceit chuckled, winking at Roman. “I know the sea's doing when I see it.” His legs wobbled a little bit and he had to brace himself against Roman’s arm. The other didn’t complain. “I’m sorry, it’s still hard for me to stand like that for too long…” he bit his cheek, “Would you mind if I...?” he gestured at the dark pool inside the warehouse.

Instead of answering Roman scooped him into his arms and - as if Deceit was lighter than a feather - carried him into the water. It was obnoxiously hard to let go off this weight. Roman imagined that he could easily carry Deceit around all day long. The small pleasant noise that Deceit let out was at least a little bit of a reward. 

“It’s not golden anymore,” Roman noted pointing at the newly reformed tail, without a surprise.

Deceit shrugged. “I wear my punishment proudly,” he added, waving his crimson fin at Roman.

Another massive blow hit the warehouse. This time both of them glanced at the creaking, wooden roof.

“I’m afraid we should go soon. The storm will calm down once you leave the dock.” said Deceit after a couple of moments.

Roman’s heart lurched to the side. He wasn’t ready. Not yet. Shut the door, lay bricks in the windows. Just give him some more time.

“Will I see you again?” he asked instead. It came out weaker than he expected. He leaned down and gripped Deceit’s hand. It was so slippery in his own. He was afraid that it would slip out of his grasp any moment soon.

“Yes,” replied Deceit instantly.

“When? Where?”

“I don’t know when and I don’t know where.” Deceit shook his head, “You must look out for the dark clouds in the sky and red trail in the water. There I will be.” he added, trying to pull his hand out of the hold.

“Can you promise that?” Roman demanded, tightening his hold. His heart was hammering against his ribcage.

In a flash:

Lips against his lips. Salt that tastes sweeter than it should.

His hands left empty.

One echoed whisper. “I promise”

Roman was alone. The rain outside stopped raining.

***

They fell hard. As hard as the waves crash against the shore. As hard as the dead body falls into the cold water of the ocean.

Their love was hot and wild. As hot as blood pumping through their veins. As wild as the water under their fingers. Hot and wild like blood in Roman’s eyes and Deceit’s scales.

When they were apart they were singing lullabies for each other. The moonlight being the messenger. Their melodies danced on the peaceful surface of the sea.

When they were together, the tornado was shaking the world. The edges of their bodies were as hazy as the clouds in the sky.

One slash was enough to cut them apart, two slashes were enough to give them a reason to fight.

The sea.

The way it opens in front of them, cold and eager. Ah, so eager. Endless, deep, ruthless, selfish and demanding.

The sea. 

The way it closes it shell, trying to keep the warmth inside, trying to keep its children away from each other. It doesn’t realize that it has already marked them as each other’s forever.

*** 

Roman opened his crimson eyes. 

The waves were crashing against the sides of Creativity. The sky above him was darkening with beautiful navy color. He looked at the horizon. Where the sun was touching the sea, he could see the tiniest red glow.

“Change of the course, Logan.” called Roman sharply, “We’re sailing into the west.”

the end.

You liked this story? Feel free to buy me coffee!

People who asked to be tagged (people who implied that they are willing to read this):

shitpost-sides izzyfandoms   romanisbabey ragingdumpsterfiremess   canvas-the-florist ryanisshortfatandemo zoney568  

General taglist:

@depressed-alone​​ ​ @changeling-ash​​ @dear-lover-dearest​ @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2​​ @calmingthoughtsinyourhead​ @zo-geeky​​ @fandomfreak-19​​ @thegnatnat​​ @inha-led​​ @tree4life25​​ @panic-at-theeverywhere​​ @reallyanextrovertipromise  @shit-happens-bitchachos@pastel-patton123​​ @pinkeasteregg​​ @greymane902​​ @princeyssash​​ @ilovemyspoopydad​​ @musicphanpie-b​​ @all-these-trees-stealing-mah-o2 @birosezz​ @winged-outlaw @anxious-fander-talian-bean​ @lizaelsparrow @moonstonefox12 @pastelnerd101  somecrappyclonemysticalstrawberryface @ninjago2020​  donteatmyassghostie toriwithacamera moxiety–sanders101 confinesofpersonalknowledge xxladystarlightxx wheeitsvee a-very-optimistic-realist narniasfinestavengingsociopath  thequeensqueer allycat31415 rileys-main-blog-spotroman-is-a-dramatic-prince virgil-my-diamond justanotherproblem faacethefacts  beautifully-terribly logical-but-anxious queen-of-all-things-snuggly seabellart   @generalfandomfabulousness lostin—translation  knine-nights  @poisonedapples @talhaddelpla @punk-and-flowers @quietlypondering @milomeepit 0joodles0  grape-soda-city-kid sanders-sides-stuff lonelysoul43 imtooaromaticforthis

#roceit #roman sanders #deceit sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #fanfiction' #roceit fanfic #roceit fanfiction #pirate au #somehow #somewhat #vic writes #romantic roceit #sympathetic deceit

[lordofthenerds97]

The Devil Works Hard

Chapter 1

Summary: Y/N is an up and coming theatre producer and director. If not found on Broadway, you’re found in the classroom teaching as a Theatre Professor at the local college. A couple camera flashes and a glass of scotch change your life forever, and you’re trying to decide if the secrets are really worth it… Pairing: Loki x Reader Rating: T+ Warnings: Overbearing fluff and cliches

You weren’t sure how, but somehow, Lawson Mire had managed to talk you into being the Playwright for a modern adaption of Shakespeare’s Tempest. You muttered to yourself as you sat in your dim office, the main light coming from the laptop screen in front of you. The page was blank, and the cursor blinked tauntingly at you.

Your hands were clasped, and you rested your chin on your entwined fingers, trying to figure out how exactly to undertake this huge project. Lawson had given you a timeframe and a basic idea of what he wanted, but for the most part, you were given creative freedom.

That was something that you normally enjoyed, but right now, it was more of a curse than a blessing.

You had been tasked with turning the tragic comedy into something that the modern generations could relate to. You chuckled at the thought, shaking your head and pushing away from the desk.

Modern generation my ass, you thought. You ran a hand through your h/c hair and sighed, trying to come up with anything.

A thought struck you as there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” you called, sitting back down and grabbing a pencil to start writing down your idea.

“Miss Y/L/N?” a voice asked, a head poking through the cracked door not a few seconds later.

You rolled your eyes when you heard the voice. “Come on in, Hunter. And how many times do I have to tell you to not call me that?”

He chuckled as he stepped in, holding a folder. “Would you prefer Kicker?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Kicker?” you repeated.

Hunter nodded, grinning at you. “You know, describing a plot twist in a story?”

A snort escaped your lips. “Yeah, I got it. Why would you call me that?”

He rolled his eyes. “A lot of the students call you that. Because you make a lot of old literature new and fascinating inspiration to us when we start writing scenes.”

You pursed your lips as you regarded him. Maybe he was on to something. “Kicker, huh?” you chuckled. He grinned and nodded. “I like the sound of that. Anyways. What can I do for you, Hunter?”

“I know it’s a little late, but I needed to submit my thesis before tomorrow.” he said, holding the folder out to you.

You chuckled and took it from him, adding it to the small pile on your desk. If you were being honest, you wouldn’t have cared if he was a day late in turning it in. You hadn’t even started grading the other papers yet.

Something made you flip open the folder to see what the title was. Hunter was already on his way out when your eyes widened. Shakespeare’s Tempest; A Masque of Modern Interpretation.

“Hunter!” you called, grabbing the folder and almost sending your chair toppling over with how quickly you stood up.

He paused when he was halfway out the door, looking back at you with raised eyebrows. “Yeah?”

You walked around your desk, your eyes skimming the first page as you approached him. He stepped back inside, sticking his hands in his pockets. “How would you like some extra hours towards your Doctrinal?”

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “What?”

Your face lit up with a huge smile. “I’m working with a Director, Lawson Mire. He wants to revamp the Tempest play for a more modern generation. I know Kara had mentioned that she wanted to get some extra hours. Would you be willing to work with me on this project? Your thesis is exactly the kind of energy we need in developing this play.”

He smiled widely, resisting the urge to hug you. “I would love that. Thanks, Kicker.”

~*~*~*~*~

For the next several weeks, Hunter, Kara, and yourself spent countless hours working on the new adaption. Thinking about everything that had happened, you were amazed at your students. Hunter and Kara were some of the brightest when it came to your classes, and you were beaming with pride at the effort they put into this project.

Lawson was also incredibly happy with the work being done. He praised the three of you up one side and down the other, even offering Kara and Hunter internships with his company. They had readily accepted the offer, knowing how well an intern position with Lightning Arts would look on their resume.

~*~*~*~*~

And four months later, when the play was in production, all three of you were proud of the way your play had turned out.

The sounds of upbeat instrumental music mixed with the varying voices of the gala hall assaulted your ears. A glass of bubbling gold liquid was held in one hand while the other was used to gesture as you spoke.

Truth be told, you were bored out of your mind. Being the Producer and Playwright of the new adaption of The Tempest, you were pretty much required to attend the gala after the first showing. Thankfully, you weren’t alone. Or…so you thought. You continued to scan the room as you tried to hide the scowl of displeasure.

Lawson, the Director, had successfully abandoned you.

You turned your e/c eyes back to the group of people in front of you, chuckling as you did. You had absolutely no idea what was just said, but everyone else seemed to get a chuckle out of it, so you might as well join in.

If you were being honest, this was the part of the job that you enjoyed the least. You were more at home behind a desk with your fingers tapping away at a laptop or with your glasses sitting on the tip of your nose as you scrutinized the set. Interacting with the higher society wasn’t something you were especially good at. Thankfully, you were quick enough on your feet to get through the few hours you had to spend with them.

Your black clutch was held securely under your arm as you raised your glass slightly to the group in front of you, quietly dismissing yourself. As soon as your back was turned, you downed the rest of your drink, desperately wanting something a little stronger. It wasn’t a few moments later when a waiter paused beside you, offering the tray. You chuckled, nodding to him.

“Thank you, Gavin.” you said, placing your empty champagne glass on the tray and taking the glass of scotch that he offered. He had been one of the servers you had first met several years ago, and the two of you got on quite well. He was always there at the right moment with exactly what you needed.

There was a twinkle in his eye as he tipped his head to the side. “Of course, miss Y/L/N.”

You sighed as he slipped away, leaving you to face the crowds once again. As you began to make your way through the throngs of people towards the exit, you were swarmed by cameras. Catching you off guard, you were ill prepared for the moment. Your eyes widened and a piece of your pinned hair fell in your face as you tried to stammer out a response to the sudden flashes of cameras.

You still desperately searched for an exit as you took a step back from the press. But they didn’t seem to get the hint. You felt your heart clench and your chest tighten before the breath hitched in your throat. But as you took another step backwards, your back collided with something solid. Before you could turn around in a panic, you felt two hands land on your shoulders.

“Are these people bothering you, love?” a silky voice asked.

Not able to formulate proper words, you simply snapped your mouth shut and nodded quickly.

The hands that were on your shoulders slid down your arms in a soothing gesture before returning to their original position. You could feel a sense of calmness wash over you when you heard the stranger speak again. “If you’ll excuse us, we have somewhere to be,” he said.

He moved his hands, placing one on the small of your back to guide you away from the crowd. You moved willingly, gratitude radiating off you in waves. You were guided to the balcony doors and into the fresh air. When the crisp night air hit your lungs, you let out a ragged sigh of relief. “Thank you,” you said, turning around.

What you saw almost made your heart stop. A man with sharp features, piercing green eyes, and shoulder length black hair stood in front of you. His hair was tied at the base of his neck and his keen eyes were examining you closely. He wore a black tuxedo and a black shirt, the only color being the satin emerald tie around his neck. He was watching you curiously, one hand in his pocket and the other hovering close to you.

“It’s not a problem, my lady.” he said with a crooked smile.

The velvety tone in his voice almost made you swoon. If that wasn’t enough, he had a rich accent to top it all off. It sounded close to British, but you knew that wasn’t it.

You cleared your throat before smiling up at him. “You would think I’d be used to this by now.” you said with a chuckle. “Regardless, I appreciate it.”

He shook his head. “One is never truly accustomed to the spotlight. You handled it rather well.”

A laugh fell from your lips. “Well, thank you again. I’m Y/N, by the way.”

He flashed another grin at you. “Tom.”

“Nice to meet you, Tom.” you replied, tilting your head slightly as you said his name.

“The pleasure is mine, Y/N.”

A slight blush managed to take over your cheeks. Hopefully, you could play it off as the chill in the breeze. “Well, it’s getting a little chilly out here.” you said slowly. “Would you like to go for a coffee?”

He raised an eyebrow just slightly before inclining his head. “I’d be honored.”

AN: If anyone wants to be added to the taglist, let me know! Click here

Note; some of the tags don’t work. I’ve marked them in bold. Taglist: @sebastiansloserclub @britishbutnotbritish @endgame-isnt-cannon-sweaty @evalynanne @randomfangirl7 @midnight-queen-1 @fishingpenguin @korvisorvis @daft-punky @j-nelson99 @lauraxoxo100 @lady-loki-ren @slasherfvked @chloe248 @lolitaforeveryoung @vviptop @celestialstarshadow @emerlywarhead @alicephantomhive99 @i-will-die-for-bebe-yoda @delicatewebseriescutepizza @adefectivedetective @xwackk @cxstl-e @digitalizer 

#loki #marvel #reader #reader insert #reder x loki #loki x reader

[nothingeverlost]

Fic: Things Half in Shadows (14/14)

Fandom: Once Upon a Time

Pairings: Gold/Belle (eventually) with side pairings that probably include Graham/Bay, Archie/Emma and others.

Summary: The first thing you learn, back in Psych 101, is that you never get emotionally involved with a patient.  For 25 years Dr. Gold hasn’t had a problem walking that fine line.  Something changes, though, when he meets Belle French. AU

Author’s Note: I can’t begin to express what this fic and the people who read it have meant to me.  Thank you all.  This is the last chapter.  I chose to leave it here and pick it up again in a sequel.  The second half is relationship-centric and will begin with Belle leaving Storybrooke.

TRIGGER WARNING: Indirect mentions of abuse and sexual assault

<Prologue><Chapter 1><Chapter 2> <Chapter 3> <Chapter 4> <Chapter 5> <Chapter 6> <Chapter 7> <Chapter 8> <Chapter 9> <Chapter 10> <Chapter 11> <Chalpter 12> <Chapter 13>

Chapter 14 - Small Steps

II

There was a book on the table next to her customary cup of tea.  The cover was free of words, only a pattern of roses that looked like an old bit of wallpaper.

“A journal?” she guessed.  She’d never kept a diary before and felt a flutter in her stomach when she remembered the last time her doctor had asked her to write anything.  Eight words and everything had changed.  For the better, maybe, someday, but nothing had ever hurt so much.  She hadn’t had the numbness to shield her.  She would try, though, if he asked.

“While that’s never a bad idea that’s not my intent today.  It is for writing but I don’t want you to write about yourself.”  

“Who should I be writing about?”  She knew he wouldn’t ask her to write about her father.

“You read a lot of stories, Belle.  It’s a comfort to step into the world someone else created, to attend a ball with Elizabeth Darcy or to push the Dread Pirate Roberts down a hill.  I want to see you try writing a story with your own words.  It can be as simple or as complex as you like.”  From his pocket he took a pen, resting it on top of the book.

“That’s it?  Just write something?”  She hadn’t written anything since a creative writing class she took her first semester in college.  She couldn’t remember if she’d liked it or not.

“Anything you want.  When you’re done you can show it to anyone you want or you can keep it to yourself.  You can show it to me, but only if that’s what you want.”  He took a sip of his tea.  Belle remembered her own cup and took a sip, and a bite of the coffee cake he’d brought in that morning.  She liked the blueberries.  “What’s the first story you remember as a child?”

“Cinderella.”  She was distracted by the book, picking it up and running her fingers over the lightly textured cover before opening it up.  The pages were blank.  So much empty space; it seemed lonely without words.  “Not the Disney one; it was a pop-up book.  There was this page with all the stairs and in the middle the glass slipper.  I remember running my fingers up and down the stairs, pretending I’d lost my shoe.  One page had the carriage and you could open the door and look inside.  I wanted to shrink so I could fit inside, just for a little while.  It was such a pretty little carriage.”

“Perhaps you can tell the story of a little girl who did manage to shrink,” he suggested.  “When my son was wee there was a story he loved about a family that lived in the walls of a house.”

“I loved Thumbelina.  My mama would watch the movie with me; it was the first VHS I remember owning.  We liked to sing the songs together.”  They would cuddle under a blanket and share a bowl of popcorn that they’d made together on the stove.  Her mama loved to sing.  She’d almost forgotten how she’d sung when she was washing the dishes, or combing her hair, and always at bedtime.  “I don’t remember anything about the movie except that she was little and there was singing.”

“I’m sure we could find a copy, sometime.”  He scribbled a note on a piece of paper.  It was strange, most psychiatrists she had seen wrote a lot.  Some seemed to barely look at her, they were so busy writing about what she said.  Her doctor rarely wrote more than a few sentences and she always got the feeling that it was making sure he remembered things rather than analyzing her.   “It sounds like a memory worth holding onto.”

“I think it is.”  It hurt to think about her mama; maybe it always would.  But it made her feel warm, too, to remember the way they had sung together.  Maybe getting better meant that the warm was just as strong as the hurt.  She took another bite of her coffee cake and waited for questions about her mama that didn’t come.  Her doctor turned back to the subject of stories for the rest of her session.

II

Belle’s entrance to the art room was blocked by the sprawled form of Jefferson on the floor, arms and legs both spread eagle.  She held her new book to her chest and looked down at him, wondering if she needed to go back and get help.  His eyes were open, though, and she couldn’t see anything that looked like danger.

“Don’t mind him, he’s just being a drama queen.”  August leaned against the back of a chair nearby.  “Even more so than usual.”

“I’m bor-ed.  Bored.  B-b-b-bored.”

“I’m starting to get the idea that Jefferson’s bored.  Anyone else getting that feeling?”  Ruby was using the art scissors to trim bits of her hair.

“Does this place have a yelp?  I’m giving them one star.  Can I do no stars?  I’m going to do that.  The food is pedestrian, the entertainment is abysmal, and I’m sure there’s beds of nails that are more comfortable than what passes for accommodation here.”

“Fortunately there’s always the chance that a patient will provide entertainment,” Ruby said pointedly.

“You call this entertaining?”  August rolled his eyes.

“Do you think they might let us have a picnic?”  Belle offered tentatively.  They’d had sunny afternoons the last couple of days.

“A party.”  Jefferson sat up.  “Rabbit, you’re brilliant.”

“Christmas is over.”  From the corner of the room a small sad voice piped up.  Astrid was working on something involving glue and a lot of glitter.  

“Anyone have a birthday coming up?”  Jefferson asked hopefully.

“Mine was last month.”  Mary Margaret was the first to pop Jefferson’s bubble.  Belle just shook her head. No one had mentioned holidays or birthdays since she’d arrived, almost as if time was standing still.  Maybe that’s what they all hoped, that time was still and they would be able to just slip into their lives when they returned home.  If they returned.

“This is perfect.  Bake the cake and hire the clowns, we’re having a birthday party.”  Jefferson shot up so fast it was hard to tell how he’d gotten to his feet.  

“No on has a birthday until June, sweetie,” Ruby reminded him.

“Please tell me you’re not serious about clowns.”  August crossed his arms.  “That’s not funny.”

“If it’s no one’s birthday then it’s everyone’s unbirthday.  What’s better than an unbirthday party?”  He raced around the room, pulling fake flowers and ribbons from bins, stopping behind Astrid’s chair to lean down low.  “More glitter, little mouse.  We need more sparkle.”

“This is going to be interesting.”  Ella picked up the flower that had landed in her lap.

“That’s one word for it,” August commented, pointedly ignoring the ribbons that had landed on his shoulder.  “Not the word I’d pick, though.”

II

“Have you ever read any fairy tales?”  Belle threw a pea into the lake, a little farther from the shore this time.  The ducklings were getting bigger now, and Graham said that they needed to work a little for their food.

“Maybe when I was a kid.  I don’t remember, really.”  They reached for a pea at the same time, their fingers touching.  Belle hardly thought about it, or the fact that only a few weeks ago it would have startled her.

“I was rereading some yesterday.”  She had hoped they would inspire her own idea for a story.  “They’re very black and white.  Stepmothers are always evil.  The princess is always good and pure. Fairy godmothers will always help.  Wolves can’t be trusted.”

“A lot of people don’t understand about wolves.  They’re nobel.”  Graham tossed another pea into the water, a little farther from the ducks.  One of the ducklings dove to get it and came up, shaking out its feathers.  

“Maybe it’s easier to pretend that the scary things are so simple.  As easy to see as a wolf in pajamas.”  Fairytales never taught you to be scared of the people that said they loved you; at least none that she’d found.

“Wolf wouldn’t be happy wearing anyone’s pajamas, but he does like sleeping bags.  I had to buy one for him or I’d never get any sleep when we go out.  He gets in and curls up until all you can see is his nose.  He has to carry it, though, if he wants it.”  The last of the peas were gone.  Graham opened the other bag he’d brought and set out two white chocolate cranberry cookies.

“He carries his sleeping bag?”  Graham had mentioned camping, once.  Belle had never had a pet, but didn’t imagine that was something they usually did.  

“It clips onto his harness. He’s always excited when I put it on because he knows we’ll sleep outdoors.  Besides, I carry food for both of us, it’s only fair he carries his own bedding.”  Graham took a bite of one of the cookies and pushed the other one a little closer to her.  “Somehow I ended up with an extra if you want one.”

“Thank you.”  Nurse Whale had mentioned she was up seven pounds and had been pleased when he added the note to her file.  Someday maybe she could meet her doctor’s son and thank him for all the muffins and cookies.  “Does Wolf have to carry his own tent too?”

“We don’t use a tent.  Just a sleeping bag apiece and a campfire.  Can’t see the stars in a tent, and they tell a different story every night.”  it was midday but still Graham looked up at the sky as if he could see the stars.

“What happens if it rains?”  

“We get wet.”  Graham shrugged.  “If it’s a heavy storm we find a shelter.  But look at the ducklings, they love to get wet.  A lot of animals do.  There’s nothing harmful in a little rain, and afterwards everything smells new.’

“I’ve never been camping.”  She and her mama used to make tents out of sheets and imagine they were camping.  They made s’mores in the oven and ate them sitting around a flashlight.  She’d mentioned camping to her papa once and he’d taken her to a resort that summer in upstate New York.  They’d served a chocolate mousse topped with meringue and graham cracker and called it a s’more.  Her papa had called her princess and gifted her with her first bikini.  She’d ‘lost’ it after the second day, and was glad they never went back.  

“There’s berries and mushrooms growing on the other side of the lake, at the edge of the woods.  It’s not camping but we could go for a walk,” he suggested, finishing his cookie.

“Are you sure it’s alright?”  She’d never walked past the edge of the lake.

“As long as you stay with me.”

II

By the time they returned from their walk Belle had almost forgotten about fairytales.  Graham had shown her the signs of edible mushrooms, but cautioned her not to eat any without him there.  He’d pointed out a nest in a branch that still held eggs.  There was a bush full of berries that might make a good cookie.  Her questions had been tentative at first but he’d answered them all, speaking more than he usually did.  She was eager to learn more and he walked with her to the library to point out a few books they had about local flora and fauna.  Caught up in the books she almost didn’t notice someone joining them in the library.

“Belle.”  Gaston had his hands in his pockets, his height seeming so much taller than she remembered.  “Can we talk?”

“Visitor’s hours are Saturday.  This isn’t a good time.”  Graham took two steps to his right, coming between her and the doorway.

“You’re not Belle, so I wasn’t talking to you.  I was talking to my fiance.”  Gaston was less forceful than usual, but she knew that he wouldn’t leave.  

“It’s okay, Graham.”  She didn’t know what he wanted, but it was usually quicker to give it to him than argue.  Logic wasn’t Gaston’s strongest suit.  “He’s driven a long way to be here.  We can talk.”

“You heard her.  I’m sure there’s someone else in this place that needs your attention.”  Gaston sat on one of the sofas, his feet on the table.  Belle was reminded of his home office, though the Storybrooke library didn’t have any animal heads mounted on the walls.

“Right now my job is to be here.”  Graham crossed his arms.  Gaston’s cheek muscle twitched.

“Can we have a few minutes, Graham?  You could wait right outside the door.”  She could call for him if she needed him.  She wondered if she actually would.

“A few minutes and the door stays open,” Graham agreed reluctantly.  Once he was out of the room Belle dug her nails into the arm of the couch.  She tried to remember what it was like to sit at dinner with him and make small talk.  

“You look good, Gaston.”  He had a tan that she knew came from a tanning bed this time of year and a body sculpted with the help of a personal trainer named Lefou.

“You look… fine.”  His eyes swept over her, and she knew he was seeing the hair pulled back in a ponytail and the bulky sweater that was warm but unfashionable.  She hadn’t put on any makeup since she’d arrived, except the nail polish Ruby had used a few days ago to make her nails a pale pink.  “Are you… fine?”

“I’m learning a lot about myself.”  Fine was right up there with okay on the list of words she didn’t know how to define.  There were a lot of things people said to each other that didn’t mean anything, polite lies that meant not talking about anything real..

“Moe said you would be coming home soon.”  Belle flinched, but she was certain Gaston didn’t notice.  

“I’m not ready for that.”  Belle shook her head.  She wouldn’t ever return to the place that Gaston called home.  For weeks she had asked Doctor every day about the restraining order, needing the reminder that it was real.  She had spoken to the sheriff once, as well.  It had been almost a month now, and no lawyers had shown up.  No threats had been made.  She was beginning to believe she was safe for him, at least within the small world of Storybrooke.  What happened when she left she didn’t know; she didn’t have a home anymore.

“I don’t understand why you’re here.  You’re not like them.”  He gestured towards the doorway, where the sounds of art therapy could be heard.  “You’d do better being around your own people.”

“These are my people.”  They were all trying to heal from things.  She wondered if Gaston would even be able to understand what it was to need to heal.  He spoke of little other than hunting and business, boating and stocks.  If she was honest with herself there was very little she knew about the man she’d said yes to marrying.  He knew even less about her.

“Your people are at home; there’s a dinner at the club this weekend.  People keep asking me when you’re coming home, not that they know where you are.”  Too restless for the couch Gaston rose and started pacing.  “They ask me about the wedding.”

“I can’t marry you, Gaston.”  She said the words in a hurry, afraid she wouldn’t say them all if she didn’t say them all at once.

“You don’t mean that.  When you get home…”

“No.”  She shook her head.  When her father had brought Gaston home she had accepted it, as she did everything else.  She hadn’t gone away to college because he didn’t want it.  She hadn’t babysat as a teen.  Hadn’t gone to school dances.  She was always a dutiful daughter, even when it came to dating the man that was picked out for her.  And saying yes when expected, whether it was diner, sex or an engagement ring.  If she stayed with Gaston she was still her father’s prisoner.  It didn’t matter that Gaston was unaware of who Moe French really was or what he had done.  “I’m sorry Gaston.”

“I don’t understand, we had plans.  You said yes.”  Any plans they had, Belle knew, had been his own.  A wife to take care of his house and play hostess for his parties.  The right type of woman to show off at the club.  Children, probably, but she couldn’t even think about that.  For a moment she imagined a daughter, soft brown curls and her mother’s eyes.  She thought of her father, and wondered if she would have more power to protect a daughter than she’d had to save herself.

“Belle.” He said her name sharply, and probably not for the first time.  It was enough to bring Graham into the room.  She thought of the stories he’d told her about Wolf, and wondered if that was why she was reminded so strongly of a predator.  The narrow eyes and tense muscles might have scared her from another man, but she trusted him.  He was there to protect her.

“I’m alright now.”  She spoke to Gaston but looked over his shoulder to Graham.  She could make it through this conversation but she wasn’t going to ask him to leave again.

“This place is making you worse, not better,” Gaston groused.

“I’m not someone you would want to marry.”  There wasn’t any point explaining to him anymore than that.  “The ring is in my jewelry box at home.  You should have it back.”

“You shouldn’t make decisions in a place like this.  When you change your mind…”

“I wish you the best, Gaston, I really do.  I need you to go now.”  Graham took a step closer.  Perhaps Gaston felt it, or perhaps he decided his ego was smarting from the rejection.

“If I take back the ring that’s it.”  When she didn’t say anything he got up and strode from the library.  She hesitated for a moment before running after him.

“Gaston, wait.”  She could feel Graham standing behind her, not trying to touch her but his presence unmistakable.

“I knew it.”  His smile was the cocky one she was most familiar with.  Belle took a breath, closing her eyes.  She could be brave.  She could speak up.

“You move in the same circles as my father.  Parties, the club, charity events.  You should know…”  She felt her nails against the underside of her forearm and paused, pulling them away.  She would not hurt herself.  “He can’t be left alone with little girls.  They need to be protected.

“You can’t mean…”  She’d never before seen all the color drain from Gaston’s face.  The horrified look in his eyes was probably the most real emotion she’d ever seen from him.  She nodded and waited to see that he understood what she meant, then turned her back to him.  She couldn’t allow him to ask questions, couldn’t speak any clearer than she already had.  It had taken all of her bravery to say that much.

Doctor Gold was standing on the other side of the doorway.  “Graham thought you might like a cup of tea.  I thought we could take some out to the garden.”  

“I would like that.”  She was surprised to see that her hand wasn’t trembling.  The hot tea would be welcome. Before she followed him she looked over her shoulder on last time.  “Goodbye, Gaston.”

She stood completely still until she could feel him leaving.  Graham was gone too, and she knew without having to ask that he was following Gaston.  Making sure he didn’t linger, didn’t ask anything more of her.  After almost two years and an engagement it was strange to think that she’d most likely seen him for the last time.  It was probably stranger to think she had agreed to marry him but wouldn’t miss him.

“He’s gone, dearie.  Would you like to sit down?”

“In the garden.”  She looked down at her feet and willed them to move.  After a moment they did, and if she thought about nothing else but walking she could get herself to the bench outside before her knees let her down.  He handed her a mug of tea poured from his thermos as soon as she sat.  It seemed cooler outside than it had half an hour ago when she’d been walking with Graham.

“He shouldn’t have gotten as far as the library without anyone stopping him, Belle.  I’m sorry.”  He waited a moment to speak, or maybe it was five minutes.  She wasn’t sure how long she’d been staring at her tea before looking at him.

“He wasn’t a threat.  He never hurt me.”  She wasn’t sure she could say that Gaston was a good man.  He worked and he hunted and he went to the club.  He hated books and was sometimes frustrated when he saw her reading rather than socializing, but he was never cruel.  He didn’t go out of his way to help anyone but neither did he hurt anyone.  “I didn’t even know I didn’t want to be with him.  It was easier to just say yes.”

“It was what other people wanted from you,” he commented softly.

“I said no to him today.”  Had she ever said that before?  She couldn’t remember the last time she’d said no, not to something as simple as where they were going for dinner or as complicated as an engagement ring.  Not to trips with her papa or his college plans or anything.  “Even when it made him mad.”

“The only emotions you are responsible for are your own.”  His tea was on the bench, his hands both on the handle of his cane.  He moved it restlessly, the tip moving bits of gravel around the ground.  He always moved, even when he was sitting still.  “What you did today took a good deal of courage.

“I was scared.  Not of him.”  He made her feel small next to him, his confidence and control making her feel like everything centered around him, but she hadn’t feared him.  Or loved him.  She’d simply existed next to him.  “Everything’s changed now.”

“The unknown can be very hard to step into, even when the known is hurting us.  It’s normal to be scared.”  His voice was low and soothing.  Belle allowed herself to close her eyes and just listen to him.  His words settled into her bones with the same warmth as the tea.  

“So now I start over?”  With Gaston gone she had no connection to the people she’d called friends, who were really just social acquaintances.  With the restraining order against her father she was an orphan in all the ways that mattered.  

“As much as we might sometimes wish for a blank slate there is no such thing.  No tabula rasa.”  He quirked his lips into something that wasn’t quite a smile, or at least not a happy one.  “We continue on a step at a time because the only thing we can do is move forward or stand still.  What we do get to decide is what we carry with us and what we work on shedding.”

Belle looked down at her hands, seeing only the cooling mug of tea but knowing she held onto so much more.  “I left Gaston behind.”

“You did.  Are you feeling alright about that?”  He picked up his mug, but only played with the handle.

Belle nodded.  The conversation had been hard but knowing it was over was easy.  “It’s not so simple with papa.”

“No, it’s not.  But you’ve already taken the first steps.”  He paused, looking at her.  Belle took a shaky breath and nodded.  It helped that he didn’t lie to her.  Didn’t pretend that anything was going to be easy.  If she’d taken the first steps there were still dozens more to take.

“One step at a time.”  She rubbed her arm.  There was no pain, and she’d stopped herself from digging her nails into the skin when she’d spoken to Gaston.  That was a step too.

II

Belle deliberately chose the same sofa in the library she’d shared with Gaston the next day, an exorcism of sorts.  She curled up with her notebook and pen, took a deep breath, and started writing.  An hour later she had twelve pages of writing and a sore hand.  The wolf was about to rescue Little Red from her grandmother when Jefferson threw himself at the other side of the sofa, making the whole thing bounce.

“Put the books away, it’s time to play.”  He wore a top hat made from construction paper covered in glittering gears and offered her a pipe cleaner tiara with tissue paper roses.  “Your unbirthday awaits.”

“I thought it was everyone’s unbirthday.”  She slipped her book into the oversized pockets of her cardigan before accepting the tiara.

“You’re one of the everybody, aren’t you?”  He tipped his hat at her, stood, and offered her his hand.  She only hesitates a moment before letting him help her up.  

“I am.”  She followed Jefferson to the garden where her friends were waiting to celebrate.  It was one more small step.

#rumbelle fic #mr. gold #belle french #graham humbert #jefferson #ruby lucas #things half in shadow #my fic

[lenfaz]

Sea Squad, Ch. 11 (11/14)

Summary: Killian Jones has always managed tough spots in his con life… but never like this one. His brother is out of jail and convinced the only way to win his name back is to heist the casino of a major Vegas mogul, leaving Killian to do the planning. He now has to deal with a half-brother desperate to gain a name of his own, an ex-fling that carries her own torch against the casino mogul, his brother losing his mind over his ex-wife,  his former mentor’s depression and the one woman he can’t get out of his mind giving him chase. Ocean’s Eleven AU

Rating: M

Content warnings: semi-explicit sexual content, law-breaking (they are thieves, liars and con men), mild violence (someone will get punched), mention of former relationships (for the main pair) and cheating (but not for the main pair)

Banner (link to banner post) and art by the amazing @clockadile Go check her art tag for the fic here!

This fic would never exist without the wonderful @sambethe who convinced me to do over hot chocolate on one cold Chicago afternoon and virtually held my hand and betaed this fic for months. thank you SO much for everything you do.

A/N: A long time ago there was talk about Hook & his sea friends and a few collective posts shaped the idea of a Sea Squad. This fic is the attempt to bring that creativity to life. Tagging @queen-mabs-revenge   @thesschesthair   and @jvosketches as they were part of that initial thinking back in the day. If a few things sound familiar, it’s because they are based on the movie.

Link to  FFnet & AO3

on tumblr: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8  9 10

Chapter 11

Mayhem. Total and complete mayhem.

The darkness surrounded Emma and her hand went directly to the taser she carried at her lower back. She positioned herself closer to Belle and one thought repeated through her mind as the seconds ticked by.

How the fuck had Killian pulled this one off?

The lights came back on suddenly, their brightness blinding for a brief moment. She reached for Belle, ensuring she was still standing next to her.

And then chaos erupted.

In the ring, the two boxers were fighting, their people trying to pull them apart as tempers ran high. The violence spread to the audience and Emma could only imagine what the casino floor would be like. The lights out, all those chips within reach, everyone blind and no one to put a stop to it. It would be too big a temptation for most people.

She was sure it wasn’t pretty on the floor.

Moving into action, she instructed Belle to grab her coat and stood next to her as they exited the arena with Gold. The man’s face was twisted into a grimace, his eyes flashing bright and his posture rigid. A man like him didn’t like losing control and that was exactly what was happening, and on a night that required him to take extra precaution. If Killian had wanted to put the man on edge, he sure picked the exact thing to do just that.

Emma’s hand twitched at her side as she remembered that Killian was currently being held somewhere in this building, at the mercy of Gold and the thugs that made up his ‘security’ team. But before she could follow those thoughts to their natural conclusion, her jacket pocket vibrated and an unknown ringtone blared through the air around them. Shaking her head in confusion, she reached inside her pocket as Gold and Belle halted.

She looked down to find a burner phone, the display flashing with an incoming call from an unknown number.

“Are you going to answer, Miss Swan?” Gold’s voice was flat and curt, a man obviously annoyed by another interruption to his already hectic evening.

“This isn’t mine,” Emma stated before she swiped the screen and answered the call. “Hello?”

“Can I speak with Mr. Gold, please.” The voice on the other side was distorted, and not by static. Something was masking the voice to make it unrecognizable.

The hairs on the nape of her neck rose in an instant, but she tamped it down. Panicking right now would solve nothing. Keeping her voice calm and even, she handed the phone over to Gold. “They are requesting to speak with you.”

With a huff, Gold grabbed the phone from her hand and put it in his ear. “Who is this?”

The reply came loud and clear through the speaker. “The man who’s robbing you.”

Emma turned around, her eyes scanning the place as she reached for her taser. There were multiple incidents going on around them, but nothing security wasn’t already handling. Gold seemed to have done the same, because his reply came back a second later.

“I don’t see anything going on in my casino that my team is not already taking care of.”

“You might want to take a closer look, Mr. Gold.”

/-/

The trek to the security room was a short one, and while neither of them ran, they sure put some speed in their steps. Muting the phone, Gold entered the room, his eyes scanning the monitors.

“Is there something out of order on any of the floors? The vault? The library?!?”

The security guards sat with their backs straight, all of them leaning in to study their monitors. “Everything looks fine, sir. We had a couple of incidents on the floor, but nothing that our team doesn’t now have under control.”

Just as they finished speaking, a few of the monitors blinked, their images suddenly changing. Emma’s eyes widened as she walked towards the monitors, what she saw on them making her gasp out loud despite herself. Three masked men were in the vault, tossing stacks of cash onto bags that laid on the floor. The three guards charged to protect the vault were lying bound and unconscious in the corridor, their submachine guns pushed well out of reach.

Gold was being robbed. And she knew exactly by whom.

Emma turned to find Gold clenching his jaw, and the hand that wasn’t holding the phone morphed into a fist at his side. “Find out how much money we have in there tonight.”

The room erupted into a buzz of activity, the noise making hard for Emma to concentrate on anything other than the masked figures moving around unhindered the best-guarded vault in Las Vegas.

The ice in Gold’s voice broke her from her thoughts. “Alright, dearie. You've broken into my vault. Congratulations, you're a dead man.”

“There’s no need for threats, Robert.”

Gold looked like he wanted to punch something. Or someone. “Here’s a non-threat for you: good luck trying to exit my vault - or my casino for that matter - unscathed. You’re trapped down there.”

“Mhmmm. Perhaps. Perhaps I’ll simply have you carry the money out of the vault for me. By now your records have told you that you have a little over 160 million in that vault, you know, with it being fight night and all. Now, take a closer look.”

Everyone in the room - Gold, Emma, Belle, the security personnel - leaned closer to the monitors. Next to the bags being packed sat a stack of money in the middle of the floor, carefully bound with a few packs resting on top

“Are you watching? That there is half of your money, being held hostage and booby-trapped.”

Gold closed his eyes and punched the console next to the video feed. Time seemed to stretch for an eternity, but it had to have been no more than a minute or two. When he opened his eyes, he stared directly at Emma. “Miss Swan, please escort Belle to her suite and keep her safe.”

“But Robert, I -” Belle started, but Gold waived his hand in dismissal.

“I need to deal with this, Belle.”

He turned his back on them without another word, completely focused on talking to his security people. Belle’s face crumpled for a second, the hint of a few tears coming to her eyes. Before Emma could reach out to offer support, she shook her head, turned around, and stormed out of the room. Emma hurried after her, trying to keep up with Belle’s furious steps.

“Belle, wait!” she called after her.

Without warning, Belle came to a halt and Emma almost ran into her. As she took a step back, she looked over Belle’s shoulder to see what had caused her to freeze in her tracks.

A familiar back dressed in white shirt.

A familiar head of black hair.

And a very familiar voice speaking over the phone.

“You let half of the money go, and you get to keep your eighty. That's the deal. You try to stop us, we'll blow everything up. You’ll lose it all.”

He slowly turned around, Emma was faced with a smirking Killian Jones giving both her and Belle a once over. Biting his lower lip, he tilted his head and spoke again. “Gold, you can choose to secretly lose eighty million dollars tonight or you can lose a hundred sixty million publicly. It's your decision. I’ll even give you five minutes to think about it, but at the end of that time, I’ll need to know... Do we have a deal?”

Putting the phone on mute, he lifted his chin towards them. “Hello, love. Did you miss me?”

/-/

“Killian how did you-?”

“Escape?” The bastard cut her off, a smug grin sliding across his face. “It cost me a few million, but nothing I can’t afford if this goes through. Which it will.”

The ass had the nerve to wink at her with that last one.

If Killian thought Gold would fold that easily, he was deluding himself. “Gold is not going to fall for this trick, Killian.” She wasn’t sure why she was saying anything at all, she should be calling Gold’s security and having Killian escorted to one of their holding rooms. Again.

She should. Gold had hired her. She worked for the man and needed this night to go smoothly so she could finally have the answers she’d been looking for.

As if reading her mind, Killian smug smile faded, his eyes filling with concern. “Gold was never going to help you. He’ll find a loophole in the deal and back out. Or he’ll find some way to string you along, promises of just one more job before he delivers on what he’s promised. Deep inside, you know it. You know I’m right.” He caressed her cheek, and she wanted nothing more than to lean into it and forget the world outside of them existed. He moved his arm, holding the phone back as he leaned in, his forehead almost touching hers. “I have the answers you seek, Emma.”

His confession took the air from her lungs. He couldn’t know, could he? Emma searched his eyes looking for the lie, for any hint that his words were just an attempt to con her. But there was nothing but truth swimming in the blue of his eyes and the broken way he whispered fervently. “Come with me. Your career is in shambles. You know he was behind several bad deals gone wrong. You know none of his promises matter. Come with me, love."

She hesitated, her heart beating frantically against her chest, her thoughts racing through her head. She wanted two seconds, just two seconds to breathe and think this through.

Belle’s voice brought both of them back from their own little world. “Wait a minute…” She looked between the two of them. Realization dawned in her eyes. “This is her? She’s the one from Tuscany?” She swatted at Killian’s arm. “I can’t believe you, Killian Jones.”

Chuckling, he pulled away from Emma. “You can’t believe what? The lengths we would go to get the girl?” His eyes glinted with mischief. “Think again, Belle, and while you’re at it, think about where your husband might be right now.”

Belle stomped her foot on the floor. “That idiot!” Turning around, she quickly darted down the hallway with a stream of expletives flying from her mouth.

Emma started to go after her. “Belle…”

Killian, though, caught her arm and brought her back to him. “Let her go, Swan. This was not their first fight and it won’t be their last.” Bringing his attention back to the phone, he motioned for her to remain silent. “I’m glad we see eye to eye, Mr. Gold. This is how this is going to work. Ten minutes from now, the men in the vault are going to deposit six bags in the vault elevator. I’ll wait until you find someone to write this down.”

Cupping the phone again, his eyes searched hers. “Looks like Gold just bit the bait and I really need to get going. So I need to know: are you in or are you out, Swan?”

It was a decision she needed to make in a split second. Though, she wasn’t sure she really needed even that. She knew she shouldn’t, she really shouldn’t, but crashing her lips to his, Emma decided to take a leap of faith. When she finally broke the kiss, they were both breathless. “You better deliver, Jones.”

He smiled and reached out to seal his lips over hers one more time. “You know I will. Now wait for me. Pretend like you still care about the security of this place or something, and keep Belle safe. Please.”

Killian returned to giving directions over the phone while Emma turned and chased after Belle. She wasn’t sure that she’d made the right call, but it was too late to back out now.

#csbb #sea squad #lenfaz fics #cs ff #cs au

[all-these-consequences]

Ew’s connections??

So, I’ve sent asks about this on @into-control’s blog and decided to make a post. Big ass disclaimer: I don’t have more knowledge about media,PR,industry etc. than any other average cs. This is no solid evidence whatsoever,it’s just pure speculations from my side about how Ew could have possibly reached Camila’s team or how he was chosen for her beard or or or.. That will always remain a huge question for me. Even if there was a contest for the worst beard ever, they would not have chosen someone as bad as him.

Keep in mind:

1)I have no idea how far and deep these connections are/were. If I wrote a book, I wouldn’t thank random people who I’ve met just once in my life sooo.. I also don’t know if he maintained any contact with the people mentioned in his book. From the impression I have, I’d say he is a freeloader,mooch,parasite and would do anything for profit and free ads for his scammer business, So I think he did maintain the contact to those people.

2) His book was published in 2013. After the release his joke of a career unfortunately got bigger and maybe his connections too. His ego did for sure.

3) English is like my..third? language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes, incorrectly used words and shit. *dis post is powered by my coffee machine btw

 So I was searching for Ew’s PR team but I found this instead

which lead me to this part of his scammer book.

Apparently, Mr. Pissey knows a lot of people.

“Everyone who has made my TV career possible: Sean Perry and Ivo Fischer at WME”

WME WME is talent agency and represents artists across all media platforms, specifically movies, television, music, theatre, digital and publishing.

“ WME Partner Sean Perry Elected HRTS President “ “ Perry, who is co-head of WME’s non-scripted television department “ looks to me like he is a big deal,hm?

Ivo Fischer is a talent agent at WME.

Then I remembered that Camila’s agents Todd Jacobs and Kirk Sommer also work for WME. However, it turned out there were a lot of artists who are signed to WME.

And then Uncle Simon popped out with this: Simon Cowell Signs With WME Agency “Top reality star and producer Simon Cowell and his music, TV and film company Syco Entertainment have signed with WME. The agency will work on continuing to expand Syco’s film, scripted and unscripted television departments as well as its music brands.”

The scripted and unscripted TV departments are where Ew’s people work.

“Syco extended into feature films with the 2013 One Direction 3D documentary This Is Us. Earlier this year, Syco teamed up with Kenny Ortega on a music-driven film set up at Sony Pictures. “

This kinda rang a bell to me -  and here comes Cinderella

“Cabello will not only star in the project, set up at Sony's Columbia label.... Corden is also producing the feature project with Leo Pearlman, his partner at Fulwell 73.... Cabello is repped by WME and manager Roger Gold...”

Fulwell 73 is a television, film and music production company based in London. One of the founders was Leo Pearlman, who according to wikipedia etc worked on the production of  One Direction: This Is Us (Sony/Columbia), which was produced by Simon Cowell himself.

I know, Simon isn't involved with Cinderella,James Corden is the one who is gonna produce it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if uncle Simon has something to do with it SOMEHOW,idk. ( I love conspiracy theories )

okay,moving on.. ew mentioned Sloane Delancer twice in his book so I thought I’m gonna continue with her. She worked with a bunch of other people Ew mentioned too on Ready for love,a TV shitshow where he  made appearances, being a shitmaker matchmaker. Sloane also was the producer of America’s got talent in 2015. If you don’t know the Got talent franchise is created and owned by uncle Simon and Syco. Cowell's AGT is broadcasted on NBC.

Ready for love - team

Aired on NBC, produced by Eva Longoria. The other exec producers were David Garfinkle and Jay Renfroe, who are producers for a lot of shows. they also founded Renegade 83. Jay was also nominated for Emmy twice.

Jason Ehrlich was also a exec. producer for Ready for BS but is also known for being the co-executive producer for The Bachelor and its spinoffs. doesn’t surprise me. As of 2012th he works in NBC. “He also worked under an overall deal for Warner Horizon as an executive producer on "High School Reunion," "Hitched or Ditched," "The Lamas Life" and as an executive consultant for "There Goes the Neighborhood."Before his work with Next Entertainment and Warner Horizon, Ehrlich was an executive producer of a film for the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences. This film featured documentary work for the Grammys which included Beyonce, Tina Turner and the Foo Fighters.” - I found this here so I don’t know how credible it is.

Susan House - same shit, the Bachelor, Ready for throwing my TV, but also Hell’s kitchen which is somewhat cool.

Greg Goldman is also the chairman of studio Lambert,own by All3Media

Ready to die was hosted by Giuliana and Bill Rancic.

Giuliana is working at E!News. Yep,that’s the exact same shit place where the exclusive beach photoshoot came first from. She works there since 2002 and is quite a big deal there.

 Bill is..just check his wikipedia page. here you can see few of them together

Creative Visions

Jon Turteltaub is an American film director and producer. Kathy Eldon, Amy Eldon and Simon Eldon-Edington are also producers and writers.

Creative Visions

Jon Turteltaub is an American film director and producer. Kathy Eldon, Amy Eldon and Simon Eldon-Edington are also producers and writers.

Louise Roe is an English television presenter, model, and fashion journalist. I guess they are still friends, Ew was guest on her youtube channel or she was on his,idk.

Virginia Hill

 Camilo Valdes

Altogether I’d say that guy had a lot of connections back then even tho he was basically nobody (at least it looks like that to me). He knows a lot of people who work either for NBC or ABC. He knows people who know people. I don’t have exactly a theory but in my opinion he used his contacts and tried to reach someone with more power and influence in order to try and boost his career and his company. Everyone knows that famous people use fake relationships for publicity and he probably thought he is a celebrity too and took the things in his hand and offered himself as beard.I don’t know.

Like I said this does not prove anything

feel free to share your opinion or debunk this pathetic theory of mine, in the meantime I’m gonna wait to be recruited by the FBI, I’m just kidding. Maybe not.

#ew #ewmila #shit

[thechampagnelovers]

Please blog about hp when you read them, I love talking about so much hahaha. I really wish I would be following more blogs on here that focus on hp but it would take time to get into it and find good blogs. I still struggle with that even in this fandom. So many people I follow have problems with each other and I am just so confused? Like I just want to follow decent people and have a good time and it‘s hard so I take time off as much as I can (as I said multiple times I know) and just come on here to reblog cute things like YOUR LYRIC EDIT! Cuuuuuuuute! Such a nice present for your friend. 🥺🥺🥺

While scrolling through your reblogs - all so cute I swear - I did see something we don‘t have in common though so I thought I’d tell you, just to spice things up: I can‘t get into Taylor Swift. I was such a die hard fan the first two albums (I was so fucking little lol) and then she started heavily on the pop and then I just lost her? I mean I understand her talent and lyrically she is really amazing but she ist just nobody I can or want to listen to. Okay kill me now hahaah. How did you come to like her music? Maybe give me three of your favourite songs and I promise to try again. 😅

Moooving on: I can only imagine how cool it must be to become friends with someone over creating something together. That is a really good foundation for friendship or at least connection because you automatically have to get personal and open up, right? At least that‘s how I see it... It‘s one of the things I wish I had in my life. Sharing my creativity with others, even friends, you know?

A comfort album... yes absolutely! 🥺

I have a 1D Playlist where I have all their songs collected and when I put that on I just let it run through and I don‘t really get to the point where I can skip because it‘s like a Mood™️ if that makes sense haha. But yeah I totally get that you‘d only trust Niall with Little Things and he would never let you down. When Liam sang it I was like „Nice, thanks for the memories, amazing vocals“ ajsklsn. Maybe I should start hating some songs too, builds personality hahah.

I am so sorry you had such a weird weekend. And sorry you had those cramps again. 😫 I am already dreading mine. 😭 Why did you stop taking the pill, if you don‘t mind answering that? I stopped because I couldn‘t handle the hormones at all. I hope you get this figured out! Please keep me updated. 💓 Oh and I think you have a healthy relationship with crying and it‘s good to be open about it! If it helps I cried today too, yayyy! Is there anything I can do to cheer you up though maybe? Oh and tell me why your book is depressing? We should opening a book club honestly. I am currently crying over rwrb, I finally got some time to really get into it and am almost finished and... NOT OK. Wow okay I have been ranting again. Hope you had a better day! x

I definitely will! When I get back home I’ll read them and I can tag the posts, it’s gonna be so fun! I don’t follow hp blogs :/ I think I follow just one but I don’t even remember the url sjdhjd

If you need chill people to follow I recommend all my mutuals! I’m a strong advocate in having a curated online experience and most of my mutuals are drama free blogs 🤍

Thank you beer nony 🥺🥺🥺I just realised I never made you anything for your bday 😔😔😔 I’m so so so so sorry skdjjdjd next edit is dedicated to you, and I’m also gonna make something for tee! Lately all my post are gifts for mutuals and I love that

I won’t kill you JDHDJD it’s okay, I like Taylor but I’m nowhere near a hardcore stan so I don’t really mind it, also I understand what you’re saying, albums like 1989 and reputation are completely pop and tbh they’re not my fav albums lol 😳 although they both have songs that I LOVE, she never misses. Two of my best friends are swifties, and me and my other best friend are 1d stans so everytime we hang out we play taylor and 1d dkdhdjdj that’s kinda how it happened I think

If you miss the old taylor, my recommendations is ofc folklore and evermore! Cozy comfort albums, goes back to her roots a little bit more, it’s definitely not pop. My fav album is red for sure, and I know you don’t like her pop music but lover is just spectacular and you can’t miss it

Top songs for me are (in no particular order) red, the story of us, miss Americana, state of grace, holy ground, the lakes, no body no crime, champagne problems, gold rush, come back be here, New Romantics and getaway car! And I’m sure I’m missing so many gems too! But yeah, if you want to give her a second chance, red, lover and evermore are my recommendations! And you can check out the folklore online concert on disney+

Ohhh nony 🥺🥺🥺 you’re right, it’s a very nice feeling, and that’s how I always make friendships really djjfjd idk other ways to interact :/ and you can do it! I would love to see what you make, maybe it’s harder irl but online you can make so many friends sharing your art! And I would love to see it

Djdhjdjd I totally get the mood feeling, bc it is a vibe for sure 🤍 ugh I love Niall, he’s the only man I trust

Thank you nony! This time I didn’t suffer near as much as the last time but still not fun. I stopped bc of some logistic problems with the pharmacy djdjdj and I wasn’t really having sex so why bother yk? (Funny story the other day my ex asked me if I wanted to go to his house and I had a full breakdown that made me delete my Instagram so, yeah, that’s my sex life). Besides a little breakout on my skin once in a while I didn’t have many side effects but now I’m really struggling with it now. Mine have a very little dose of hormones so it didn’t affect me much, but yeah some pills can be so bad :( I’m sorry to hear that, and don’t worry I’ll keep you updated

Yay crying 🤍 lol djdhdjd idk if I have a healthy relationship with crying, it’s either nothing or all at once but I’m getting better with it.

The book is about very triggering stuff that I really don’t want to mention bc I would have to filter this post and I don’t feel like it skdhdjdhd but it ended on a nice note, so it’s okay

I had a great day today! Honestly yesterday was the stress and the hormones acting up on me, now I’m more chill and I feel better, so thank you love 🤍 enjoy your week!

#this took ages I’m so sorry nony #beer nony #ask #personal

[crazylittlethoughts]

Lookbook: Dare Little by Little

My First Ever Lookbook is Here!

I have been planning this for like since last year. I wanted to launch a Youtube channel in which I will share with you so many things but then I haven’t really put out anything since these past weeks. 

It feels like I have been giving out so many excuses and waiting for the right timing for me to really push through with the channel only until now that I realize that those excuses are just for me to satisfy myself on why I am not getting my ass up and work on something I wanted for the longest time. And the right timing that I am waiting for? There’s no such. If I wait ‘till I got all the other equipment I need or ‘till I can say to myself that it’s the right time, I will probably be waiting my entire life. 

I always thought that, no, I need microphone first, I need lighting first, I need this, I need that and so on. But you see you can make things happen with what you have. If you wanted to do it then you’ll do it in any way possible because you will make a way for things to work out. I guess all of this inspired me to just go with it and throw all the worries and doubts away because I wouldn’t be able to get what I really wanted if I won’t get on my feet and work for it. 

Why Dare Little by Little?

This whole thought inspired this video. The lookbook is nothing special, it’s a collection of clothes that are very MV. Everything that I wore on this lookbook is clothes that I would really wear going to school or just casually going out.

The title Dare Little by Little is pertaining to me doing things that I would not do normally. I wanted to break free from the comfort zone that has been cradling me my entire life. Though I tend to leave my comfort zone every now and then I always succumb back to it which I am still analyzing whether it’s a bad or a good thing. 

And I believe this, together with my other videos, is the first steps for me to go beyond and work towards the dreams and visions I have in mind. I don’t want to be filled with regret in the future. What I wanted is a future self that will tell my old self that we did well and good thing we decided to do this. 

Conceptualization

I have always known to myself that Dan and I will refuse to do common lookbooks. We have always been fascinated by creative collection videos by brands and music videos in Kpop industries. Some of you may raise their eyebrows on the K-POP thing but I am telling you whether you like it or not if you watched their music videos you’ll know how high quality they are. 

The art direction is simply on point and the production design is just gorgeous I can even put them in words. You’ll always find something new, unique and very aesthetically pleasing. You can just watch the mv without like the song and you’ll admire all the creativity and work they put into it. 

So why am I telling you this? Because my lookbook is inspired by one Kpop music video which is I’m Good by Bumzu ft. Sik-K, one of Dan’s favorite Korean underground rappers. 

When I saw the video, I knew that I had to do something like that and thus this lookbook was born. For the clothes we didn't plan it out really, we just rummage what I have and see where it will take us and I am very happy with the clothes selection. Don’t worry, we’ll definitely have better coords next time. 

Clothes

As mentioned, we didn’t have a concrete plan on the clothes but we wanted to pull certain aesthetics. So, we started rummaging my clothes (which I am surprised how much I have, geez) and started finding out three sets that we’ll go with. And I am very happy with the one we came up with. 

1. Laidback Stripes

We both wanted something a little formal but at the same time casual. So we decided to get this blue long sleeve polo of mine which has white and red vertical stripes on it. This type of clothing is very popular right now since I have been seeing a lot of people pulling off this top. I got this top from a thrift store, I think I got it for 250 PHP.  I paired it with my old maroon jeans which I got back in days were different colored jeans are the thing. I don’t know how old this jean is but I have come to love it only now because believe it or not it used to be so loose on me. 

To finish off the whole look I paired it with my boots which I bought from Moderno Sense when I had my Moderno Sense Haul. I got this boots for a whopping 850 PHP. It’s very much like Doc Martens but without paying gold bars. (Haha) 

Related Articles: Moderno Sense Shoe Haul 

2. Grudge Kimono

When Dan and I saw this Kimono we knew to ourselves that we need to buy it. Like a huge, huge NEED! We bought it from a thrift shop for around 150 PHP. And when I knew that we will be shooting a lookbook this definitely needs to make it to the whole lookbook! So I paired this with a crop sleeveless which I knew I got for 50 PHP but I forgot where. Then I paired it with my old jeans in which I diy-ed by ripping it off. My stepmom bought it for me so I am not sure how much it was. Then I use an Off-White belt that I got from Shopee. I am pretty sure this is fake cause it’s for 150 PHP only. Don’t buy counterfeits, kids. 

Lastly, I paired this whole look with black creepers from Zalora which I bought from my friend for 500 PHP then I also got socks from Mumuso which I bought for 199 PHP for 2 pairs. And let’s not forget the fishnet stocking I used which I got from SM Department store for 199 PHP

3. Candy Retro

I have always wanted to pull off this kind of look. Lately, I have been in love with colorful stripes clothing. They’re very nostalgic for me and appropriate for summer if you are not into the flower patterns. If you only see my Pinterest account, almost 50% was this type of clothing. I got my colorful turtleneck long sleeves from a thrift store for only 120 PHP. When I saw it I didn’t hesitate and purchased it. I paired this with another thrift store find which is my sleeveless black straight dress. I got it for I think 75 PHP. 

I paired it with my fishnet stocking which was the same one I used for the previous outfit, I also wore my favorite sunflower socks I got from Shopee for 99 PHP. Yes, I do love Shopee! But we’ll get on that in another blog post. I also used one of my most favorite ukay finds, which is a grudgy heels. I bought it for I think around 360 PHP. I’m pretty sure it will not exceed 360 PHP. 

Technicalities

In case you are wondering what are the equipment and application we used here is the list: 

Equipment

Sony a6300 with the Kit Lens

Zhiyun Crane Version 1.2

Applications

Adobe Premier CC 2018

Adobe After Effects CC 2018

Music

For the music, we found this awesome Korean song by ArtinB which the license is Creative Commons! Meaning you can use it without worrying about copyright issues but that’s not the main point to be hype here because just listen to the song and you will know how awesome it is. 

I am very satisfied with how this whole lookbook turned out. It felt like I have my own Korean or Kpop music video than having an ordinary lookbook in which I will do my awkward poses! 

We did enjoy making the whole lookbook and we are definitely looking forward to making more. What do you think about this lookbook? We would love to hear your thoughts and also if you have suggestions for the next one just leave them below because we will definitely look at them! 

Cheers! 

#Lookbook: Dare Little by Little #youtube #youtube channel #fashion youtube channel #new youtube channel #fashion #fashion style #thrifted fashion #fashion influencer #fashion collection #fashion creative video #Fashion Inspiration #fashion idea #style idea #style inspiration #kpop style #kpop #style influencer #korean rap #korean #south korea #ootd #outfit of the day #lookbook #style lookbook #fashion lookbook #korean lookbook #ootd idea #ootd inspiration #stripes

[sophiesgoldartsaward]

Exhibition Report

Unit 2, Part E

The end result of my project was TWO Tumblr blogs, one full of pictures of art work and the other with the reflections and all my planning for the project.

BEFORE SPLITTING UNIT 2: I think my project plan was very effective, but I did have to make some changes, including: editing some of the work I was sent instead of posting the pictures unchanged, having the pictures of the art on different posts from all the planning stuff, how many people I could ask for artwork (a smaller number than I had planned for), making my own art to post here instead of not making any of my own and moving the project online instead of doing it in real life.

AFTER SPLITTING UNIT 2: The major change to my project plan was putting all the pictures of the art on one blog and putting all the writing and notes on another blog (Here Be Artists and Sophie’s Gold Arts Award respectively), which changed the whole format of Unit 2. My original plan was to do everything on just one blog and have it all mixed together. I also adapted the writing section of Unit 2 so, if I wanted to, I could make the online exhibition grow bigger even after I finished my Gold Arts Award by explaining the point of the blogs to anyone who was interested.Another change I made to my original plan was making the exhibition open-call instead of just people I knew, but it turned out only people I knew actually sent anything in. Yet another change was moving all of my Gold Arts Award online, not just Unit 2, so I had to video my sketchbook for Unit 1 and rethink how I was going to evidence the feedback for Unit 2. Finally, I changed the opening lines of all the posts with writing on when I split Unit  (because I wanted to encourage casual viewers to look at the art and not get bogged down in all the spec notes, so had put stuff like ‘This is just a reflection and brief analysis of how the project is going so far - scroll down for more art!’). 

While I was figuring out how to split Unit 2, this is what my plan looked like:

Week 1 -videoing my sketchbook, looking into different themes (like XOXO, Inkwell and curly), deciding which theme the writing section and the photos section should be in for aesthetic purposes. Also putting the material into the two separate blogs and getting used to making and writing ‘pages’.  

Week 2 -writing out all the pages for ‘Sophie’s Gold Arts Award’, posting the few remaining photos of art I had on ‘Here Be Artists’. 

Week 3 -editing Unit 2, Part E (this very post) and finalizing the report so it makes sense. 

Week 4 -sending out my list of questions for feedback, evidencing replies and responding to feedback, posting all this on ‘Sophie’s Gold Arts Award’. 

The project’s biggest success was how easy it is to see the art work and how effective all the pictures are laid out. It’s very simple to follow and the pictures are very large (especially on a computer), so the art really gets to show off on the screen.

The most challenging aspect of the project was having enough people to ask for artwork - there were only a few people I could rely on to get art, since it’s particularly hard to motivate people online and under the current conditions of Covid-19.

Feedback from others and my response to their feedback will be presented in my next post (so will be found above and before this post). I’m also going to encourage people to use the ‘Any Questions?’ page on this blog. 

My leadership skills developed during the course of planning, managing and finalizing the project, mainly through presenting artwork, asking others for artwork and checking to see if there were any issues along the way. My communication skills have become more refined and I have a better understanding of using email and texts. From the variety of the art within and length of the project (shown throughout this blog), I can judge that I have been an effective leader. I have also enjoyed doing the project, which is another indication of success. This is not different from my original objectives (which shows I predicted the necessary skills for this project well). I think I am now better at motivating people (that was also very important in this project) because I put lots of time into thinking about how to phrase requests and how to chase people up -and when to use formal and informal tones over text and email. Effective leadership is also demonstrated in the clear brief of the poster I made on Canva (see bottom of ‘Unit 2, Part A’, and the fact that I did get back to people as soon as they sent in work to thank them (this shows that I’m organized).

I have learnt that working effectively with others requires clear communication, all-round cooperation and anticipating other’s responses. A sign of working effectively with others is a short time period between ask and response.

I now know that communication is absolutely fundamental to the success of any sort of project, and that you have to judge the situation carefully to get the right tone and approach when communicating with people. This is also a bit harder to do online.

Planning is also vital for good results - thinking ahead and predicting problems are key elements in any effective plan. Running a project with a clear idea of aims and desired outcomes (which are products of planning) helps immensely because you have a fixed goal you can work towards.

I’ve learnt a bit more about art form knowledge in the sense different art forms need to be presented in different ways, and that some art forms respond well to editing and captions while others don’t. I’ve also understood a bit more about how art forms can reveal peoples’ opinions and personalities. I’ve also learnt a lot about presenting art online, since I’ve never done that before (it’s a different approach to documenting work). I’ve also had to get used to learning as I go along, and not having everything explained at the start. Finally, I’ve experimented with taking photos of different sorts of work, both 2D and 3D, and what puts the artwork in its best light.  

I’ve also decided to do a reflection on health and safety online, because it’s more important than I first realized. To improve the project with respect to health and safety, I would have a referral to somewhere people can find help, like Childline or Samaritans. I would also list the rules for basic online safety (for example never using last name, never mentioning which school you go to, don’t post sensitive information, never write anything online in anger, etc.). Basically, limiting any content on both ‘Here Be Artists’ and ‘Sophie’s Gold Arts Award’ to creative only. I’d put more thought into how I’ll keep people safe because before I didn’t think health and safety was that important in a project like this.  

Next time (in an ideal world), to improve the project, I would do a bit more of my own work, do more reflections, ask more people for feedback and do the exhibition in real life (so I would be able to encourage people for feedback more successfully -it’s harder to refuse to give feedback when someone’s in front of you asking for it-, and I could ask more people for work because there’s something more tangible about presenting work in real life than online). But! More realistically, a longer time period, i.e. 2 weeks planning and 3 weeks recruitment, would give me more options and extend the project - I would be able to do things like statistics and pay more attention to details.. Additionally, I could have bigger aims, say, get art off 10 people instead of 5. 

I also thought I’d do a bit about how I would use other peoples’ art if strangers had responded to my project. I’d set out rules for artwork that I’d accept (so nothing offensive, racist, sexist, anti-Semitic, etc.) and I’d make it clear what I’d do with their work. For example, I would only edit people’s work with their express permission, and stress that they would only have to give a date of completion, medium(s) used, description/explanation and title if they wanted to. I don’t think I’d need a lot of information for each artwork, but I would add any details the artist wanted me to because it’s their work, not mine. I could have a form for participants to fill out so they could make it clear what information they wanted to supply alongside their artwork (I could use SurveyMonkey or Google Forms for this). 

And I’m going to do a bit about what is the point of doing this blog (apart from it being part of a Gold Arts Award) because it ties in with why people would want to look at and contribute to an online arts exhibition. Firstly, it puts you in touch with other like-minded people who enjoy art as much as you do and you can learn so much from other people like that -new techniques, new tricks, new concepts, new sources of inspiration... It may also spark a competitive spirit, which some people respond well to as a source of motivation. Secondly, it offers a chance to get your art on a public platform, and it gives you a taste of trying to make a place for yourself in the arts world (it’s also an introduction into beginning to sell your art, if that’s what you’re after). And thirdly, it can open your eyes to new careers in art and new galleries, art projects, artists -in short, investigating an arts blog pushes you out of your box into the international arts world.  

[hollowphobia-casual]

MY AMAZING FRIENDS Part Seven. the revenge of the Prequel to the sequel

So anyone new to this, hi, this is a massive list where I tell everyone about how great my friends are, why I love them and just how much they mean to me! It’s shrunk and grown over the years as friends have gone away or I’ve gained new ones, but it doesn’t change the most important things, these are the people I want in my life more than anything. SO, normally I’d post this list around December Christmas, cause, it’s meant to be a treat, a Christmas treat, as I can never get out presents to everyone and I felt it meant something important, well Christmas has come early, why? Cause life is hard right now, people are scared, things are getting tougher and it’s just so frustrating seeing all the people I care about disheartened and worried, I want to do something important for them, so I’ve decided to post the list early, for the people, who need it the most.

@mistercrowbar

BEHOLD probably one of the most important people in my life right and I don’t mean that lightly, Crowbar has been everything to me, a friend, a teacher, a companion, a voice of reason and even a critic, she’s taught me so much about art, myself and even the universe we currently inhabit, seriously this woman is a wealth of knowledge you would not believe. But more importantly, she is my friend and I care so much about this girl, I want nothing more than her absolute happiness, if I could give up everything just to see her smile, I would, she’s been in such dark places and battles them everyday, I’d do anything to stop that from ever happening to her again. she has done so much for me, hell she became a friend to me when I was a nobody and I still am, she encourages me to do better, to push and challenge myself every day, I owe her so much, I care for her so much. Please do yourself a favor, check out her amazing artwork and get to know this beautiful person.

@nightmargin

MY GUUUUUUURL, Holy fluffy apples infested with Caterpillar demons, when I first met this girl, she was awesome, as we talked, she was more awesome, her ideas, her imagination, if she didn’t go somewhere, I’d imagine the world would implode for making a mistake, AND NOW MY GURL MADE A GAME AND IS ACTUALLY BEING PLAYED AND ENJOYED LIKE IT’S THE NEXT UNDERTALE! For better or for worse. I always believed in her, I can’t ever recall a time where her art style a beautiful mixture of darkness and whimsy has ever disappointing me, I’m so proud of her right now, i wish her nothing but the best going forward and if you’ve not bought her game Oneshot, WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

@articbleu

Oh hey is this one of the greatest people ever, why yes it is! Artic’s determination and drive is, MIND BLOWING, I always feel like I’m trying to catch up to her, but in a good way, I’ve also never met someone who agrees with me so much, from video games, story structure and politics, it’s actually a tiny bit creepy. BUT IT A GOOD WAY. When I first met this amazing blazing comet of a woman, she was drawing rose themed anime girls for Original character tournaments, now she has her own store, plans on making a comic and has been in several zines, like, WHAT and, and the best part, SHE AIN’T SLOWIN DOWN. She is such a kind and thoughtful person, fueling with the fires of determination and passion, there is something inside Artic that could fuel the planet. Go check out her art blog, Go check out her store, IMPROVE YOUR LIFE.

@tuz-ohtopia

Have you ever met someone who you graverly underestimated and regretted, I SURE HAVE, I’ll openly admit when I first met Tuz back in the days of Deviant art, I didn’t think much of him, CAUSE I WAS A FOOL. His story chops, his character designs and his overall whit and personality is probably some of the best things you’ll ever run into, if you ever get the chance ask him about his amazing DnD campaign that he runs with some of my other fave nerds, the plans he has are stellar, I just wish I’d gotten to know him better. This guy is pure gold.

@knifetotheback

the moment when you’ve refereed to someone by their nickname so much that just becomes their name, meet Smudge, I met smudge somewhere most people regret to meet their friends, IN A ROLEPLAY GROUP, and at the time I didn’t really know smudge that much, we’d chatted by not a lot, not until I have the pleasure of having them as a player in my DnD game, and while they did grind on others nervous, I am surprised to find someone who put so much effort and emotion into something they cared about. Smudge is a person who is open to criticism and willing to sit down and talk about problems, a rarity in many things, but also very enthusiastic and supportive of peoples decisions, I’ve not had the pleasure of talking to smudge much due to their work. But I do miss them, very much so.

@sunshinedrago

have you ever met someone who screamed excitement, I don’t mean figuratively, I think my ears have actually ruptured thanks to this wonderful human, I’M SENDING YOU THE BILL. This beautiful person, whose actual name I can’t ever type correctly..., is so full of energy and wonder, she is a delight to have in my DnD games just because of the drive she brings, even if it does get the better of her at times. They are also some who actually gets some of my strange interests, such as slice of life anime and cute shit with no shame, it’s beautiful. But more importantly they are a person, a real down to earth person who actually understands people, it’s a rare thing to see and must be treasured, like the dragon she wishes she could be.

@GrittySugar

LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL MOTHAR FUKAR, when I first met this wonderful person she was a funny silly girl who did fun silly, DARK, comics, it was amazing, (Hellen X Ralph OTP), but NONE of us, were prepared with all the stuff she has done recently, the animations, the videos it’s also just so! I am so happy and proud for her, this is a person whom I competed against at one time and got to talk about silly things with and now look at her, look how far she has come and she’s still going. If you haven’t go to her youtube channel, check out her shit, DO YOURSELF A SOLID.

@roseillustrates

Speaking of beautiful people, here is someone I’ve sadly neglected, she is a beautiful friend whom will also be Bubby to me, her art is dark, twisted and fucking amazing! And she herself is also amazing. Some whom I miss dearly and wish I held onto so much tighter, cause I barely get to see them much, their head is swimming with such, amazing potential and stories, like, my god, please, I beg you, do your self a service and check them out!

@ssksscrapboard

BROOOOOOOOOO, I have missed you! but it’s nice to see you’ve been keeping busy, like seriously people if you are looking for fun expressive art that captures personality and humor check this guy out, he has a really addictive style that is fun to look at, with well designed characters, all detailed and simplistic, it’s so fun, he himself is a great guy, probably one of the friendliest guys I know, easy to talk to and always encourages. Please check him out, look at his art, enjoy his humor, all that fun stuff.

@spesiria

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the person whom adore the most, or at least one of them, god I miss you, your activity is either lost in the sea of 639 people I follow on tumblr, or simply you’ve just disappeared. I really wish I had the chance to talk to you more often as you are such a lovely and interesting person, you are the best, I miss you.

@thelovelyghosty

I met this lovely loveable through a friend of mine and I’ve not regretted it, she might have, but not me. She’s fantastic and very smart, probably WAY too hard on herself and probably puts more effort into her writing than I have ever done, I love the time I spend with her, she always make me smile. I hope to spend more time over the following years getting to know her and hopefully making her smile.

@hunnylou0

When I first started out on Devinatart Lou was one of the first ‘big’ artists whom I had the privilege to get to know, it was so weird at the time and to think that I’ve manged to continue following someone whose been such a big influence to me all this time really means something, I know I’ve sadly not been the best of friends, but I have been trying to keep in contact and I hope nothing for the best for this person, she’s such an interesting and fun individual, I hope I get the chance to meet them in person and thank them, please check out her stuff, commission her if you can.

@nickala

Sometimes you need someone who knows what your thinking to make life a little easier, this is my person! Nicky is an amazing girl, she has a great sense of humor, a level head and has a job at cutting up guts and gore, best, person EVAH. Also! Also! She has some dope ass art that will just blow you away with it’s creativity and design work, her colour it’s all just, FWAH! Not to mention with the top included, she’s a person whose helped me realise I’m not.., a freak, to be quite honest, for the longest time I knew there were others out there like me, but I never, connected with them, I felt that I was always on a different wave length that life was just, impossible to understand, then I sat and talk with Nicki and she has helped me so much with stupid brain things and I could never thank her enough, for listening to my insane ramblings and just being a great friend.

@valbey

MAN WHAT AN ASSHOLE, okay, okay not ‘completely’ true, this dude has been with me since my days in college and even went on to be my roommate, for better or worse and despite how we can sometimes get on each other nerves, he still tries to understand and respects my opinion, sometimes, dick, But he is probably one of the most level headed and thoughtful people you’ll ever know, who is also doing commissions, please check him out and call him a dick from me.

@doodlediddydaisy

Do you know many people whom you could say ‘If it wasn’t for them, I don’t know if I’d still be here today?’ Well meet the godsend here, in the literal sense, she saved me during a very dark moment in my life, where I was depressed, unmotivated and scared about the future so much, I was an emotional wreck and she manged to help me, I owe my life to her! And now she’s happily married and I don’t get to speak to her much -cries-, but I’m not gonna be down, why? CAUSE SHE’S HAPPILY MARRIED’, that doesn’t happen a lot to people, so I’m so glad it’s happening to her, and I know she has been through a rough patch this year, but I’m sure she can pull through, she is a strong person.

@funktrash

MY GIRL HAS HER OWN FUCKING COMIC YOU SHOULD GO CHECK IT THE FUCK OUT, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR! Okay so I knew Hyper all the way back in my early days of creating mary sues and weeb art on DA, back then I wasn’t the best of guys, but I was amazed that someone could find my art.., inspiring, it was so..., INSPIRING! And I hope I leave or left some impact, even if I don’t deserve it, I’ve come to admit my faults and I don’t want to forget them, so I’m gonna do something good for this person who deserves nothing but the best. CHECK OUT HER FUCKING COMIC! No seriously, do it, it started out as an idea, that became a DA group and now it’s own work, if you followed her on DA do it, it’s so amazing to see these characters that you saw from her early days and see how far they’ve come! so, I’m just gonna grab the link and you better be clicking on it! [Link to Comic]

@clauseart

HOLY FLYING CRAB APPLES, MY GURL HAS HER OWN COMIC AND IT’S JUST SO, MMM, MMMMMMNG GOOD. When I first met her she did comics about a crazy girl with an over side pinwheel and I loved her for it, found out she was English and loved her even more, Now she’s writing a modern fantasy story where the real world and the magic community co-exist together, while a buff ginger haired lady punches the undead and has to baby sit a brat, CHECK IT OOOOUT, I want her to succeed so much, she is worth it, here is a link, if you haven’t checked it out, I’ll know. [Comic Link]

@velkro-bitch

I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR LETTING ME MISGENDERING YOU!, wait is it misgendering if they don’t apply to one gender or the other? Either wait, I love this person, they were the voice of reason in my DND group and continue to be a person who’ll always make me laugh and miss so much, they’ve gone off to live a successful and hardworking life and I could not be more proud of them, but it doesn’t hurt that I still them so much!

@a-trashcan-in-a-corner

You and your fucking sibling, I love this girl so much, funny, kind, compassionate and a no shit taker, they are a great source of joy and sadness, cause very much like their sibling, life took over and they had to leave my DND, I try to keep in contact, but as anyone who knows me, knows I’m terrible at that, but if you ever just want to talk to some this is someone whom is the best at doing that and is very good at playing sexy buff shy dudes.

@flunafloon

I WUB MY HEAD, and I’m a terrible friend again this year, I’ve not been as active and as friendly as I would like to be, MAYBE IF SOMEONE WAS ACTIVE ONLINE MORE AND DIDN’T HIDE, HMMM! but I seriously do miss you, I hope you are doing well and everything is going well for you, please take care of yourself.

@mercuziades

I love gothic art, I love this girl and I love her art! Sadly I’ve not seen much of her work of late, as sadly much with many friends I’ve come to know life has gotten in the way, but I’m always hopeful to speak to her more, when my life isn’t getting in the way, but to any and all out there, check out her work, if you love the Gothic esthetic and do mean romantic Gothic, the true Gothic, got do it. NOW!

@riyamilea

So, I’ve followed this person for sometime and I’ve only gotten to know them recently, which is strange, cause I’ve been following them since the rise OCT, and for anyone who still remembers the rise OCT, don’t you feel old now, HUH! But seriously, she has such an amazing body of art work, her designs are outstanding, her skill with anatomy and detail is breath taking and she’s so fun to talk to! She’s level headed, smart and never argues her opinion, she acknowledges other peoples points either adding to them or deconstructing them, talking to this person is a breath of fresh air. And I really hope I get to know them more.

@seriousmealtime

HERE’S SOMEONE WHO MAKES ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, in a good way, I only met Sam briefly last year and thanks to some close friends we’ve been talking a lot more and what I love/hate about this person is they are always lavishing me in praise. IDON’TTAKECOMPLIMENTSWELL,LETMEFEELUSELESS! Sam is great and I love them to bits, their crude enough to get my stupid sense of humor, but kind enough to sympathies with, sadly Sam is dweeb and doesn’t upload any of their amazing art so I can sell it to you, but it’s amazing and if they ever do decided to get off their butt and actually show it, I’d highly recommended them.

@ioanaartblog

I remember meeting this girl after attempting to join a deviantart Roleplay group that went, nowhere and after talking for a bit and introducing them to Critical Role, we started a DnD group, that has lasted for about two years now. It is my first and longest DnD session that has taken up so much of time and energy as a creator and it all started with her, if it was for Ioana I wouldn’t have such wonderful memories as well as a burning desire to improve on what I have done, I’m so exictied each session to challenge my players and watch their reactions with what I have planned. It has meant to so much to be and it of never been possible if it wasn’t for Ioana, likewise, Ioana has gotten herself noticed in many ways, after watching Critical role she became inspired and now she has some of her artwork up for sale in the their official store, not joking, here is the link, [Shop Link] And now she is currently at university studying art and improve her skills, despite anyone else who’d of called it quits and ridden he coat tales of their first success, I’m proud to see her chase her ambitions.

@phantomdotexe

Sometimes it really helps to have someone to talk with, cause not everyone wants to hear EVERYTHING about yourself and we are flawed deep down, it’s what makes life so interesting, no one is the messiah. So I’m really happy I met her, she’s smart, funny and more importantly she allows me to be more open than I have ever been with some other people and she is very supportive, if not a bit nagging ‘why aren’t you in bed’ SORRY YOU GET ON SO LATE!, hehe but if you ever into anything, risque, I suggest taking out her library of work, she’s a writer you see and while her taste lends to the mature, it doesn’t stop it from being an engaging series of work, please check it out if you are into rope and gags, also send her a hi and let her know how amazing she is.

@dansome0203

Mother fucker, let me love you! This guy, besides me being envious of this skill to draw such beautifully curvaceous women, he is just such a nice guy, like, stupidly nice, He’s probably an alien, hmm. I’ve sadly not had the time to talk to him much STILL! God I feel like those assholes who refuse to talk their fav artist then whine about it on their art blog!...wait. But this guy, he just continues to surprise me, found out he’s not just a nice guy and an amazing artist, but he also runs a very good DND session! The stuff I have seen pour out of it has made me so excited if this guy ever plans to do some writing in his own free time.

@totalobelisk

A friend of mine for the longest time, who I’ve sadly not stayed in contact much with, cause I am a terrible human being. That said he’s incredibly bright and funny as well as creative, I’ve never met a guy who just doesn’t give up, he’s driven and determined, willing to do what he enjoys more than anything! I wish I had some of that drive, his work might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but hey, in the end, it matters if it makes him happy and he being happy makes me happy.

#Friends #The yearly list #2017 #Those who are important to me

[lorettabalogun-blog]

Section Five - Idea Development

Design Philosophy

For the past three years I have developed my brand to where it is today through existing self-brands and what I believe needs to be included for my message and my philosophy to clearly be displayed to my target audience. The designs accumulated for inspiration with a variety for different sections. This induces for the business card, CV, Website and Logo. 

CV

Before through research on my field, My CV was created with the idea of just a simple creative CV and nothing more. 

Previous CV

Many Things were labelled as wrong in this Design CV

My Name was too small for a CV

The Design and Personal Skills were too  frequent for design CV’s and therefore lacked uniqueness.

Language and Address was not needed

Not enough relevant experience

These were just some of the things mentioned from peers and mentors so I decided it would be best to research into the field. When researching into a UX Designers CV, some if not most were very generic and didn't have any flavour. I needed to blend my interest for Illustration and colour for my UX CV so I can show my uniqueness through an A4 paper. Hence why I researched for Illustrator CV’s as well.  Below are some highlights

SMASHRESUME

bethan williams - This one is really good because the designer has encompassed her/his talent into the CV allowing employers to visually and instantly see what talent they have. The one below is similar too for talent. 

Gil Álvaro

Below is my process of changing my CV professionally and making sure it meets with my field of UX design. Here is the first draft

Not much change to the first one and there are still loads of improvements needed. Advice/ Feedback from peers and mentor:

Reduce work experience and add more relevant experience

Remove Language

Shorten the Personal Statement and make it punchier (to the point).

Increase the size of the logo and Name. Also state your occupation

Since illustration is something I’m interested in it would be cool to add some or my own ideas on software icons.

After taking that all in I went back to change all of the elements that needed improvement. This is my final Design.

Cool thing I added was my own ideal creation of the Adobe software icons. I think the CV is now more straight to the point with a minimal text spread. 

Business Card

Mood Board - Inspiration 

I created some business cards last year However I didn’t really like the way it looked nor did I think it was right for my brand. So, I started again from scratch and conducted some research. Most business cards include just the logo then contact information but as I’m someone who is very interested in Visual Design I wanted to add a colourful illustration of some sort for a double-sided business card. That’s what I looked for when researching for what type of business card I wanted.

I liked the idea of mandala art so I wanted to include that in my design alongside of my own logo. However, when finalising the design, I spontaneously created another design of my logo zoomed into the dimensions of the business card. I was indecisive and so I asked my peers for some feedback to which we all agreed the zoomed in look was more colourful and interesting as it looked like we were looking up. 

In terms of typography, I wanted a consistent house style through cross platforms and so the primary typeface I picked was The Google font Averia Libre. I picked this serif font because I wanted a font that described my work well in my opinion. Something fun but still has a modern/serious vibe to it. To accompany this font I often use Open Sans as well as a secondary typeface for my brand.

The final designs of the business card look like so:

Front cover

Back cover

Professional Print 

The business card was sent off for printing for a double sided card. I thought it would be cool to add an effect to the card rather than basic card paper I added the option of a go;d foil to the font cover so that the card can attract the user more rather than it’s colourful image. Due to the extra request the card my not arrive on time for the deadline date. (30.04.19)

An example of gold foil cards.

Logo

At this point I currently had a logo but I wanted to explore the process of logo development again to see if there was a design I cherished even more.

Mood board

Since my current logo is a logo mark. I felt like it would be harder for me to accomplish a type style logo because it wouldn't be something I would like constantly as well as the fact that it’s time consuming. Plus not to mention, logo marks and abstract marks can be designed easily as long as you know what message your trying to put across with your brand.

Sketches

Below are logo sketches that I drew without thought to see where I was going towards for my brand subconsciously. I explored abstract marks, normal marks and typefaces to see what I was interested in the most. Surprisingly, what I’ve drawn didn’t seem as interesting enough as my current logo and so I decided to stay with my own. 

To give context my current logo is a logo mark symbolising a flower. At the time I wanted a flower that would symbolised my philosophy towards my target audience. In summary my keen interest for completing a variety of non-linear projects that enforce user-experience. With the combination of colour alongside the flower I feel like my intentions towards my projects can excel/ the flower chosen is the Aster which symbolises Love of Variety, Patience and Elegance.

I created four of the same styled flowers with similar colour schemes but I couldn’t choose which one looked better. I got advice from my peers and it was decided that the bottom right design was the best one for the brand with the deeper toned colours highlighting the design of the flower. Moreover, some gave the suggestion to remove the line colour as it looks nicer without it. This is the final design for the logo.

Website Design and Development

www.lorettabalogun.co.uk

Like my Logo, the portfolio website has been developed over the past three years. But now that I’m certain what career path I wish to take. I needed to look into similar UX Designers and their online portfolios to see what I can do to change mine and attract the right employers. One I liked the most was a UX Designer named Tiffany Chen. Tiffany is interested in UX as well as illustration like me and has a nice balance on her website displaying her interests.

Tiffany Chen - Screenshot of her page on her time with Adobe

For example, one thing to notice was how she detailed all the steps she made and why she did to end up with the end product she created whether it would be for an internship or just a side project. I wanted to include this because as a UX Designer this shows the ability to conduct extensive research that explores what is needed to attract the target audience at hand. With this idea in mind a user’s experience on a product can simply go from decent to amazing. 

With this alone I was inspired to revamp the whole website and her website was my main inspiration to how I was going to do it. To start with the site navigation was changed and most of the important pages were linked directly to the home page. This is so employers can straight away see what I have done and how I’ve done it. If they like my work first then they would be more intrigued to get to know my creative journey and how I began.  The home page before was more like a photo gallery but now Projects have been clearly labelled as well as Any Academic work or Personal Projects.

Before

After

Now each project comes with a detailed page explaining the process of the project and the level of success followed on from the project completion.  Here are some screenshots of the new website.

Home Page

Note that all contacting details are included in the footer including any Social Media

Page for Personal Work

Example of Project Page

Even though the website is constantly changing. the pink and white colour scheme has stayed the same through all platforms and areas of the brand. This includes the business card, logo. and any other print or web platform. 

Feedback

One point of feedback given to me was to add the CV to the website for those who would like to see a more professional outline of what I’m about. I do think this is a good idea However i wasn’t really confident with the idea of dedicating a whole page to this so I have been trying to link this with a hyperlink on the website but have not successfully managed to do so. 

[salted-barbed-wire]

Lessons to be Learned

Oh God. New series. @alexispoo made me do it. (Thank you for the idea and everything. I love you.) Hope you enjoy. CHAPTER TWO WILL BE POSTED LATER TODAY! I started writing and just kept going and it was getting entirely too long. I cut it in half. You’re welcome.

Summary: School AU. 18 yo reader is attending a school where Dean Ambrose is her creative writing teacher and AJ Styles is her principal.  Warnings: None... yet. Fluff

TAG LIST: @i-kneel-for-king-loki @straight-outta-the-asylum @ridingmoxley @geekoftv @paradoxical-opheliac @ambrosegirlforver @wrestlingnoob @m-a-t-91 @livingthestrongstyle @lip-sync @princess3733 @nickysmum1909 @ambrose-asylum-ft-mitch @shieldlovereve @jubaleelovehate @xstylesxclashx @the-geekgoddess @stardustmoonlightflower @ashleyvc88 @cesaros-smile @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @alexispoo

Master List:

CHAPTER ONE

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”

I bit my lip as that low, husky voice read the lines of Shakespeare’s eighteenth sonnet. He leaned against the front of his desk, one leg crossed over the other, holding our thick text book with one hand. His other hand was pressed against his chest, middle finger drumming against his collar bone keeping rhythm.

“Thou art more lovely and more temperate: Rough Winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer’s lease hath all too short a date: Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often is his gold complexion dimm’d; And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance or nature’s changing course untrimm’d;”

Mr. Ambrose looked up from the book and pulled the glasses off his face. His blue eyes peered around the room at my classmates. My heart fluttered as his gaze lingered over me. I looked back down at my book quickly, praying he didn’t notice I was paying more attention to him than the actual sonnet.

“Now, class, who wants to take a shot at dissecting this section of the sonnet?”

Everyone was quiet. Most of my peers weren’t really interested in creative writing. They were all just taking it for the grade. I, however, loved it. Reading and learning about the greats like Poe and Shakespeare, then trying to write our own works in their likeness; it was something I’d do for the rest of my life. It was just a plus that my teacher, Mr. Ambrose was so hot.

I remember when I first saw Mr. Ambrose, I thought he was the shop teacher and was lost. He’s so gruff looking, always wearing tshirts and jeans with those work boots. Not to mention his unkempt hair and beard. I sighed, What I wouldn’t give to run my fingers through those messy curls. I fiddled with the hem of my red and black, plaid uniform skirt. Maybe while his fingers wandered over me?

“(Y/N)?” My teacher’s voice boomed.

I looked up from my book, thoughts almost shaken away as I looked at Mr. Dean standing in front of my desk. His arms were crossed over his chest, book in one hand. I could feel heat spreading across my face.

“Day dreaming again I see?” He peered down at me, blue eyes giving me an icy stare.

“I-I’m sorry, Mr. Ambrose.” I stumbled over my words. I could hear my classmates giggling behind me.

Ambrose sighed, “I suppose you were too busy to analyze the lines from the sonnet we just read?”

I shook my head, “No, sir. I could do that.”

He placed his glasses back on his face, one eye brow raised, “Go on then.”

I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. “Well, sir, the opening line poses a simple question which the rest of the sonnet answers. The poet, Shakespeare, compares his loved one to a summer’s day and finds them to be more lovely. The poet then discovers that love and the subject’s beauty are more permanent than a summer’s day because summer is subjected to the change of seasons.”

The class was silent. Mr. Ambrose stood there, looking me over in shock. Does he really not understand that I know what I’m talking about?

“Was that not the answer you were looking for?” I asked.

Ambrose smirked, “Not the answer I was expecting, I suppose. I’m impressed.”

“I have an A in this class and have aced all of your tests and you’re just now impressed?” I leaned back in my chair. A twinge of anger caused my words to leave my mouth before I could stop them. “I guess I’ll go back to daydreaming then, unless you want to continue to try to embarrass me in front of the whole class.”

The students behind me snickered again, a few let out little ‘Ooo’s knowing that I was about to be in trouble.

“Well then, Miss. (Y/L/N). I believe I’ll be seeing you after school today in detention. You can do all your day dreaming in there.”

“Detention?” I gasped as the bell rang.

“Class dismissed. Your homework is written down on the white board.” Mr. Ambrose told his class.

I watched everyone go, “Mr. Ambrose, sir,” I slung my bag over my shoulder and got up to meet him as he sat down at his desk. “I didn’t mean any offense by what I said-“

“Save it, Miss. (Y/L/N). I’ll see you at the end of the day. You may have good grades but you need to be taught a lesson.”

-----

“Detention?” My best friend, Alexa cackled, “You, (Y/N), got detention?”

I gave her a glare, “Just because you get detention at least twice a week.”

“I’m rubbing off on you.” She nudged me. “So how’s it feel to get punished by your favorite teacher.”

I bit my lip and blushed again.

“That’s so hot.” She fanned herself.

“Miss. Bliss!” A southern drawl yelled at my friend.

Alexa and I stopped dead in our tracks. We turned to see our principal leaning against his office door frame watching the both of us. His dark chestnut hair framed the electric blue eyes stared us down.

“Yes, Principal Styles?” Alexa tried to bat her eyes at him.

“I’ve told you several times; I can tell when you’ve been rolling that skirt and all uniforms must be at the knee.”

She huffed, “Ever girl here rolls their skirt except, (Y/N).”

“And I tell every girl except (Y/N) exactly what I’m going to tell you; go to the bathroom and fix your skirt to the appropriate length, immediately.”

Alexa gave me a look that screamed, Help me out here!

“Miss. (Y/L/N),” Principal Styles rested his hand on my shoulder. “How about you explain to your friend here, the uniform standards?”

I looked between the two of them. “I- uh..”

“Perhaps you’d like to demonstrate, then?” His hand put a little pressure on my shoulder. I knelt down in between him and Alexa. “Do you see, Miss. Bliss? (Y/N)’s skirt touches the ground when she’s on her knees. I’m willing to bet yours doesn’t. Now shuffle off to the restroom and fix it before I decide to write you a one way trip to detention… again.”

Alexa huffed and rolled her eyes as she turned to go to the bathroom. Mr. Styles held out his hand to assist me as I tried to stand.

“Thank you, (Y/N). I’m glad I have at least one good example in this school.” He gave me a sideways smile. “How is your day going?”

“I-uh… um.. Well I actually got detention today.” I looked down at my feet nervously.

“Detention?” Principal Styles exclaimed. I felt him shift and he stood in front of me, resting both of his strong hands on my shoulders. “Who do you have detention with, darlin’?”

‘Darlin’? I chewed on my lower lip, “Mr. Ambrose gave me detention. I spoke rudely and out of turn.”

Mr. Styles crossed his arms in front of his chest, “I’ll have to have a talk with Dean… I mean Mr. Ambrose. I can’t imagine my star student doing such a thing.”

“But I-“

The bell rang interrupting my words. “Run along to class now, Miss. (Y/L/N). Don’t want to be late.” And he turned around back into his office.

What’s gotten into my teacher’s today?

-----

The clock ticked by slowly as I sat there twiddling my thumbs on my desk. This is the worst. How does Alexa keep getting detention after she’s had to put up with this? My eyes wandered to Mr. Ambrose who was grading tests. His shaggy, dirty, blonde hair was down and nearly falling onto the desk. I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of him.

His curls on top of his head are so cute. The was his reading glasses almost fall off his nose. I wonder what he’s thinking. Does he even notice I’m sitting here in front of him? Doubtful. He hardly seemed to notice that I was passing his class with flying colors. I couldn’t help the small sigh that escaped my mouth.

Mr. Ambrose looked up at me. I quickly looked around the room to avoid his gaze. The panicked look and flushed cheeks were still probably noticeable.

“Is there something on your mind, Miss. (Y/L/N)?”

I gulped, unsure if I should really try to saying anything. “Detention is pretty empty today.”

Mr. Ambrose stood up from his chair and took off his glasses. “That’s because you’re the only student of mine that decided they wanted to mouth off today.” He walked around to the front of his desk and crossed his arms over his chest, “Besides, there are some… issues I think we need to address.”

“Issues?” I gulped. I was never one for being in trouble. I had always been the good girl. I was the girl that did her homework, studied for her tests, never cheated, never lied, but somehow I was in trouble with my favorite teacher.

“It’s about your homework I gave you last week.” He started.

“Did I not do it right?” I asked.

Mr. Ambrose hesitated, “No you did.” He then looked me up and down. “I have it right here on my desk. Shall I read it to you?” He picked up the piece of paper that was mine and placed his glasses back on his face. “Love is beyond time. Love is endless and boundless. There are no margins or limits. Who should be blocked by time to pursue their love?” He continued to read my lines as he walked to the door and shut it. “If one deserves love, should we be kept apart because of age?”

I could feel the heat on my face return as he turned and looked at me from over the top my paper. Something in my belly churned a bit.  He waited for me to say something, but I couldn’t. He knows I wrote that for him.

Mr. Ambrose walked back over to his desk and set the paper down and his glasses, “I don’t think I should continue. Do you?”

I shook my head.

He sighed, “Miss… (Y/N) who is the object of your poem?”

My heart was racing. The disbelief of finally being confronted with my fantasies was going to get me kicked out of my favorite class. “I don’t know.” I finally managed in a whisper.

The classroom was beginning to spin. I looked down at my desk and felt the tears start to well up in my eyes. He really does like shaming me, doesn’t he? I hurt all over. The sound of his footsteps drew closer to where I sat. I didn’t want to look at him.

“I think you do know, and you just don’t want to tell me aloud.” He whispered back.

I closed my eyes, just wanting to wake up from this nightmare. I have to be dreaming, right? This can’t be real. He can’t know how I feel. Why did I think it was okay for me to write that? Why did I think it was okay to turn it in to him? It’s not like he hasn’t been taught how to analyze prose. He’s done it for years! It’s his job!

Mr. Ambrose’s hand reached out to my face. His fingertips lightly pressed against the bottom of my chin, forcing me to look up at him. “(Y/N),” his voice said my name soothingly. “How old are you?”

My eyes widened, “Wha- Wait, What?”

His thumb brushed my cheek, “How old are you, love?”

My breath hitched as the warmth of his touch sent shivers throughout my body. “I’m eighteen, sir.”

The side of Mr. Ambrose’s mouth twitched up into a smile, “An adult.”

Hesitantly, I nodded, “I try to be, sir.”

“Then, as an adult, there is something I need you to do for me.”

Those blue eyes were beginning to look like the ocean on a stormy day. I was terrified, yet, excited. “What is it?”

“I need you to tell me to stop if you’re uncomfortable but promise me that whatever happens in here,” He looked me up and down. “It must never leave this room. Do you understand?”

I nodded.

“You have to use your words, love.”

“Yes, sir. It won’t leave this room.”

His grin widened, “Good girl.”

#wwe high school au #lessons to be learned #wwe fanficition #dean ambrose x reader #aj styles x reader #dean ambrose fanfiction #aj styles fanfiction

[topfygad]

Ten Underrated Australian Cities to Visit in 2019

Almost a decade ago now, I tried to highlight some of Australia’s lesser-known spots in a two-part article, Australia’s Best Kept Secrets (Part One) and Australia’s Best Kept Secrets (Part Two).

With regional carriers like Tiger Air making it easier than ever to jet around Australia’s vastness, I thought it was high time I highlighted some more off the beaten path Australian destinations that will give you a glimpse into that elusive “real Australia”.

Obviously, any Australian tour worth its salt is going to include Sydney and Melbourne. Perth, Cairns, and the Gold Coast probably make appearances too.

You don’t need me to tell you how great these places are, so I’ve gone for cities (or regions, in two cases) that tend to go under the radar when people are plotting their tour of Australia. 

Some of the below are far from unknown, while others just might have you flicking frantically through Google Maps muttering: “Such a place cannot be!”

As Seinfeld once said, “They’re real, and they’re spectacular”

Image courtesy of yours truly on my trusty iPhone 6.

#10 – Coffs Harbour & Bellingen, NSW

Two for the price of one to get the ball rolling!

It’s no secret that Adventures Around Asia and I love the Coffs Harbour region. Not only did I go to university there, but also we’re getting married there this October!

Bellingen, a rapidly developing tourism hotspot full of trendy eateries and boutiques, still retains a lot of the hippie charm that has drawn people to it for decades now. 

My favorite spot in Bellingen? Either the delicious pub food at Cedar Bar (where we’ll tie the knot) or the little-known swimming holes of the aptly named Promised Lands.

If beaches, shopping, and international cuisine are more your speed, the larger city of Coffs Harbour is just a short drive away. 

Jumping off the titular jetty at Jetty Beach, having a delicious beachside brunch at Cafe Treeo, or paying homage at the famous Big Banana are all worth a look while you��re on the road between Sydney and Byron Bay.

Getting There: TigerAir has daily flights from Sydney. You can also take a train from Sydney.

Image courtesy of Mariusz Kluzniak.

#9 – Hobart, Tasmania

Tasmania is getting itself on more and more radars when it comes to touring Australia, but it’s criminal how few people make the trek across the Bass Strait to Australia’s most beautiful state.

Myself included.

The quirky Museum of Old & New Art (MONA) was recently included in Lonely Planet’s Ultimate Travel List in the Top 20, beating out the likes of Yosemite National Park, Myanmar’s Bagan, Victoria Falls, and the freaking Pyramids! High praise indeed.

Hobart is a city with a small town feel and the perfect place to launch into exploring Tasmania’s many national parks and beaches.

Planning an extended visit to Tasmania? I’ve got you covered with an exhaustive list of things to do in Tasmania.

Getting There: Multiple domestic carriers including TigerAir fly to Hobart from multiple cities. You could also take the ferry from Victoria as part of an extended Australian bucket list tour.

Image courtesy of Australian Alps.

#8 – High Country, Victoria

So underrated that I hadn’t heard of it until a friend mentioned it, Victoria’s High Country gives you a third reason to visit Victoria after Melbourne and the Great Ocean Road.

Like the Southern Highlands in NSW, High Country is a great place for a romantic getaway with its vineyards and quaint country towns laden with Australian frontier history.

For me, though, it’s the prospect of exploring Alpine National Park and taking the Great Alpine Road that really has me interested. The alpine and sub-alpine aren’t often associated with Australia, so it’s something you won’t find in many other places.

Between that and a little Australian colonial history, it sounds like it’s well worth a visit.

Getting There: The High Country is a three-hour drive from Melbourne.

Image courtesy of Simon Yeo.

#7 – Broken Hill, NSW

Set against the kind of backdrop that made it a perfect filming location for Mad Max 2, Broken Hill is the Australian outback epitomized.

An old mining town whose boom days are behind it, Broken Hill is surrounded by isolated little country towns and even a few ghost towns.

I spent a few of my formative years growing up on the shores of nearby Lake Menindee, and have fond memories of visiting the ghost town of Silverton as a kid before stopping in at some local cafe for what I called a ‘dippy cheese’ but what full-grown humans call ‘grilled cheese’.

While Broken Hill is literally ‘Beyond Burke’ (and if you don’t understand that, you need to brush up on your Aussie lingo), it’s accessible by a train from Sydney for just $100 AUD.

Getting There: Broken Hill is best reached by taking a train from Sydney or driving on an Outback road trip, but you can also fly there from Adelaide, Sydney, or Melbourne.

Image courtesy of Lenny K Photography.

#6 – Brisbane, Queensland

You’d think that Queensland’s capital and Australia’s third largest city wouldn’t warrant a mention – but many visitors to Australia tend to skip over Brisbane on their pilgrimage from the Gold Coast to Cairns.

While Brisbane may not have the cosmopolitan charm of Melbourne or the laundry list of ‘must see’ sights that Sydney can boast, it’s a city not without considerable appeal of its own. 

Whether it’s abseiling off Story Bridge, wandering the kooky hipster streets of West End, ducking across to Moreton Island for a bit of whale watching, catching a Brisbane Broncos game, or hanging out amidst the eateries along the man-made Southbank Beach, Brisbane has something for everybody.

Getting There: Brisbane is serviced by its own international airport, with countless domestic flights also landing every day.

Win Big with Tiger Air!

Want to check out one of these underrated gems for yourself?

Tiger Air is giving you the chance to win a $250 TigerAir gift voucher for use on your next Australian adventure!

How to Win

Share a picture of your favorite underrated Australian spot on Instagram.

Use the #GoLikeALocal hashtag.

Tag @aussieontheroad and @tigerairaustralia.

Tell us why this is your favorite underrated gem.

I’ll choose the most creative entry on March 14th.

Boring T&Cs

A few important notes:

Only people aged 18+ can enter.

I will choose the most creative entry. This is not a random draw.

Entries close at 11:590pm (AEST) on March 13th.

I will contact the winner via Instagram to get their best contact details.

TigerAir will organise the delivery of the prize to the winner.

#5 – Sunshine Coast, Queensland

North of Brisbane and the Gold Coast, the Sunshine Coast is a popular tourist destination with locals but seems to be criminally overlooked by international tourists.

With gorgeous beaches, a variety of family-friendly local attractions such as Steve Irwin’s Australia Zoo, and the immense beauty of the nearby hinterlands, the Sunshine Coast is a perfect stop for a young family or for those looking for a more leisurely pace.

I grew up holidaying in Mooloolaba every spring, so have fond memories of sunrise beach sessions and dragging my parents to the tragically dull Nostalgia Town. Don’t worry, intrepid readers, the park is closed and can’t hurt anybody anymore.

If you’re making the lengthy road trip from Melbourne to Cairns, don’t forget to swing through the relaxed towns of the Sunshine Coast. It’s a breath of fresh air after the crowds on the Gold Coast.

Getting There: Sunshine Coast Airport is not only serviced by a number of domestic carriers from major Australian cities, but also has seasonal international flights to and from New Zealand.

Image courtesy of Duncan Rawlinson.

#4 – Broome, Western Australia

Perth is rapidly becoming a popular stop for tourists, especially British and South African expats.

Broome is hardly unknown, mind you, as both Cable Beach and nearby Ningaloo Beach are already on the tourism radar, but Broome itself doesn’t get nearly as much play as its laid-back, beachy charm warrants.

While beach towns may be a dime a dozen in Australia, very few can offer the same access to the vast Australian outback. You can be on the beach one day and out in Australia’s red center the next.

Getting There: Broome Airport has regular flights from Darwin and Perth, while it also has flights from larger cities during the holiday season.

Image courtesy of OzInOH

#3 – Newcastle, NSW

I’ve harped on about Newcastle’s unfulfilled potential before, and I’m not the only blogger who has sung its praises – with the likes of Caroline in the City & Drink Tea Travel also being aware of this beach city’s immense charm.

One of Australia’s oldest cities, Newcastle’s industrial background and reputation for being a little backward have always kept it in Sydney’s shadow, but its world-class beaches, proximity to the famous Hunter Valley wine region, and emerging arts & entertainment scene are fast turning it into a spot worth visiting.

A short train ride from Sydney, “Newie” is where I spent every summer as a kid, and a city I still hold a great deal of affection for.

Getting There: It’s easiest to reach Newcastle by car or train from Sydney, but it is also serviced by an international airport with connections to Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, and farther-flung Auckland, New Zealand. 

Image courtesy of Geoff Whalan.

#2 – Darwin, Northern Territory

Darwin isn’t exactly a secret these days. More and more people are headed north to visit Australia’s northernmost capital.

It’s where modern Australia meets Australia as it was before Europe swept in, with the nearby Tiwi Islands being a great place to learn more about indigenous culture.

Nature lovers will be drawn to the nearby Litchfield National Park with its amazing landscapes, while families can enjoy its market culture and laid back vibe.

There’s so much to see in “En Tee”, so I’ve saved you some legwork by writing a post about things to do in the Northern Territory.

Getting There: Darwin is accessible with a huge number of domestic and international carriers. Headed to Bali, Malaysia, or the Philippines after your Australian trip? Darwin offers the shortest flights to these destinations.

Image courtesy of Kyle Taylor.

#1 – Adelaide, South Australia

While I’m quick to dismiss Australia’s City of Churches as SADelaide or BADelaide, more and more people are starting to call it by the name locals have for it: RADelaide.

It pains me to admit it, but the more I research the South Australian capital, the more I want to check it out.

Where do I begin? The city’s uncrowded but beautiful beaches? Its proximity to the world-famous Barossa Valley wine region? The presence of the popular Monarto Zoo with its safari-style enclosures? Historic architecture? The fact it has more bars and live music venues per capita than any other Aussie city? Its abundance of parklands?

Adelaide has shrugged off its reputation as a stuffy country town. It’s just a matter of time before everyone else figures it out.

Getting There: Adelaide is serviced by an international airport and has connections to all major Australian cities.

What do you think are some of Australia’s underrated gems?

What are some underrated cities in your own country?

Check out TigerAir’s Go Like a Local for more underrated Aussie gems!

Want an Aussie in your inbox?

Cheers! Now you’ve just got to confirm your subscription.

Like this:

Like Loading…

From Facebook

from Cheapr Travels http://cheaprtravels.com/ten-underrated-australian-cities-to-visit-in-2019-2/ via IFTTT

#IFTTT #Cheapr Travels

[jeremystrele]

An Artist’s Bohemian Abode + Church Studio In Rural NSW

An Artist’s Bohemian Abode + Church Studio In Rural NSW

Creative People

Robyn Lea

Melbourne photographer Robyn Lea‘s new book, Bohemian Living, is out next month. Photo – Robyn Lea.

From the pages of Bohemian Living, the 1873 build Georgian cottage of artist Luke Sciberras. Photo – Robyn Lea.

The scenery around Luke’s home in Hill End, NSW. Photo – Robyn Lea.

The nearby former-church which is now Lukes studio. Photo – Robyn Lea.

Studio details. Photo – Robyn Lea.

Studio details. Photo – Robyn Lea.

The House At Hill End

‘The sense of home, to me, is very, very precious,’ says artist Luke Sciberras. ‘It’s paramount to the feeling of having a springboard, like having an embracing family that supports you. Whichever direction my work in the studio takes me, I can use the colour and content of this place to feel the energy that it needs.

On first impressions, Luke’s home and studio exude an eclectic and multi-layered ramshackle feel, but it becomes apparent over time that he carefully curates everything into a series of still lifes. A tableau of garden flowers in various stages of decay sits on the dining table, and dozens of artworks and handcrafted objects fill the room like clues to private memories and intimate encounters. ‘Everything around me has to have a reason to be here. I can tell you a story about every object,’ he says.

His home is located in the small town of Hill End, a few hours north-west of Sydney, over the Blue Mountains… Hill End was once a booming gold mining town of 10,000 people, thanks in part to the 1872 discovery of a 3000-ounce gold nugget. Today, it has a population of fewer than 200 people. Luke first visited as an art student in 1997. He went with a group of classmates and lecturers from Sydney Technical College (now known as the National Art School), having seen the 1995 Artists of Hill End exhibition at the Art Gallery of NSW.  He set off on the excursion inland with a mixture of curiosity and skepticism. It was a rite of passage for the young artists. They were following in the footsteps of several generations of Australian artists before them, including John Olsen, Brett Whitely, Jeffrey Smart and Margaret Olley. Luke was captivated…

Luke settled permanently in Hill End in 2000 with his former wife, artist Gria Shead, and their daughter, Stella. He remembers the moment he saw their house for the first time. ‘I stood at the gate, looked up the front path of the house and there was a full rainbow arching right over it! I knew that minute that it was mine.’ The 1873 Georgian cottage was constructed with a combination of saplings and mud, using an ancient composite technique known as wattle and daub. ‘It was a nicely proportioned cottage that had a checkered history, and I felt happy to add a new chapter.’ The building was surrounded by an overgrowth of swaying grasses and had been unoccupied for a long time. The only signs of its former life were a large apricot tree in the front yard and a thriving lemon tree out the back.

Luke and Gria bought the house and later leased a nearby stone church to use as a shared studio. ‘It was very run down, completely derelict, but we thought it would be good because it’s close to the house. ‘The bishop ‘came in with his robes and crosses’ to deconsecrate and thank the building before handing it over its care to the artists. Resident swallows and rabbits moved to new quarters, along with the church pews, bibles, and doilies. Crumbling windows were replaced and walls were replastered. In 2009, Luke bought the building.

The expansive space makes an ideal studio for multiple easels, allowing him to move easily between a number of works in progress. Luke has populated the space with his collections of bones, books, sculpture, skulls and stones. ‘In the studio, there are objects that I have a very strong attachment to, not in any materialistic sense, but they are sentimental. And looking at an object from somewhere I have been is as evocative as looking at a drawing or a photograph. There’s a story in everything and what I do is tell stories.’

The interiors of both his home and studio are crucial to his state of mind. ‘I can’t relax in a sterile environment. It makes me depressed. it makes me sad. It doesn’t have to be lavish or pretentious, but if there is care then you can feel it.’ He may have inherited this aspect of his character from his mother, who has always had a deep interest in art and interiors. He remembers his own childhood bedroom fondly, describing it as ‘actually rather like a museum. I always collected fossils and geological items of interest as well as birds and fragments of dead animals. My room was kind of weird. My mother has very good taste, but my own room was always like the Addams Family wing of the house.

As a teenager, Luke became a fixture in the homes and studios of artists who live in nearby Wedderburn, south of Sydney. ‘There was a group of artists there: John Peart, Elisabeth Cummings, Suzanne Archer and David Fairbairn. They had a wonderful flair and freedom that I really responded to. It’s funny how you sort of slip into a tribe of people who you find an immediate affinity with.’ Elisabeth gave him private drawing lessons, and they used to go up on the roof of her house to draw. A tender portrait of 17-year-old Luke, painted by Elisabeth, now hangs on his dining room wall. Elisabeth also encouraged Luke to attend art school in Sydney, and he has since found his place in the long tradition of Australian landscape painters…

Luke’s residencies and art adventures have taken him around the world and deep into the Australian landscape.  But he always loves coming home. He talks about the process of painting the way a chef might desirable a new dish, using myriad sensory and intuitive decisions. ‘When you are making a painting, you are making bodily decisions. It might just be the flip of a knife moving across a couple of colours, and it might be the tone, or the temperature of a colour that you can add to a painting in dozens of different ways. It could be a runny glaze, the consistency of red cordial, or thick and creamy like blobs of sour cream. There are so many ingredients and techniques, rather like cooking.’

Unsurprisingly Luke is also a passionate cook. his kitchen and studio feel like two separate chambers of the same heart. His cooking inspires his painting, and the colours, texture and pleasures of painting inspire what he creates in the kitchen. Plucked chickens, freshly caught squid, the animal bones and hooves are the subjects of the paintings that adorn the kitchen walls along with a handsome collection of old pots, pans, iron spoons, forks and knives.

…

Despite the isolation of Hill End, Luke Sciberras never wants for company. Whether passing the time with Gria and Stella when they come from Sydney; spending the afternoon at the pub surrounded by a dozen locals, or cooking for visiting artist friends, the offerings from his garden and kitchen will continue to be as abundant as his social life. Similarly, his artwork will keep feeding those who are hungry for the magic of the Australian landscape.

Read the full chapter (of which we’ve only published a summarised excerpt here) in Robyn Lea’s Bohemian Living, out this October, and published by Thames & Hudson.

Luke’s kitchen, as featured in Bohemian Living, out October. Photo – Robyn Lea.

Q&A WITH THE AUTHOR

When Robyn Lea set out on a new project in 2017, she thought she was going to create a book about artistic and unconventional homes around the world. However, as she was welcomed into the homes of complete strangers and began to unravel their storied interiors, deeper themes emerged. She found the spaces were more than simply attractive to the people who created them, they were vital to their creative expression and the result of a journey from unusual childhoods to often unorthodox adult worlds.

Published by the Wall Street Journal, Elle London and Vogue Italia amongst others, Robyn is an incredible photographer, and as you will also find from the excerpt below, a brilliant storyteller. She took a few moments to tell us more, ahead of the release of Bohemian Living: Creative Homes Around The World, her first book for an Australian publisher.

How did the idea for THIS book come about?

Kirsten Abbott from Thames & Hudson approached me with the idea for this book in late 2016 and I began to work on it in 2017. The idea of Bohemian Living resonated with me instantly, because when I was growing up in regional Victoria, I spent many pivotal moments with an artist couple, Sara and John Benn, who lived in the most liberated and creative way imaginable. In some ways, this project felt like an extension of their influence, which still holds great meaning for me today.

Many of the creative thinkers and practitioners in this book epitomise a bohemian outlook. Whether consciously or not, they are not imprisoned by others’ expectations, which liberates them to follow often unconventional paths.

In your introduction, you mention it was initially going to be a book ‘about artistic and unconventional homes around the world’ however deeper themes began to emerge…

One of the common themes that emerged during the course of creating this book, was that for many of the artists, building a beautiful private world was essential to their emotional well being. There was nothing superficial about their decorating choices.

One artist mentioned that without beauty and creativity, she would quickly become depressed. Another said she would die if she was made to live in a white space with lots of plastic. Art in this context is like a lifeline, like fuel in the tank, and for some, it even provides a compelling reason to get up every morning.

You also identify the relationship between self and space is a pivotal theme; what did you discover?

The relationship between self and space in this book is a central and important theme. It is as though the space/home itself is a living, breathing, evolving life-form which talks, without words, to its inhabitants in powerful ways. Each home is like a friend, or a mirror, which provides a constant nurturing dialogue – a positive loop, which feeds the creator and helps them define themselves. Many of these artists have created environments that help them think, work, feel and even sleep better.

Your intriguing subjects are linked by a shared ‘rejection of mass-produced objects and furniture in favour of idiosyncratic décor and unique pieces’. We find ourselves both purposefully and even inadvertently championing this too. Why do you think the preference is so prevalent, and do you think it is becoming more so in recent years?

It is no secret that as human beings we share a need and a yearning for connection to others and to nature, and a desire to understand ourselves. The more that machines are able to mass-produce objects and furniture, the more we seem want to make things for ourselves. For example, holding a hand-made mug with its tiny imperfections speaks of history, of human hands, and of the creative process. It’s imbued with the meaning that sometimes feels lacking in today’s world. In a similar way, the more people accumulate online friends on a global stage, the greater the excitement at being invited to the homes of real friends. It is in these private domains that we can enjoy one of today’s true and rare luxuries – being together with people we care about, in an environment that is steeped in personality and meaning.

To balance a world that seems to spin more quickly than ever, home has become a refuge, and for many in this book, a place of utter joy and unfettered self-expression. Each object or piece of furniture in these homes is like a handwritten line in a private diary. It helps form an intimate story, and like a set of hieroglyphic symbols, it appeals to those who speak the same language. Like the slow-cooking movement, this book is about the slow home – places that have evolved over many years. They can’t be thrown together without time, love and feeling, and the results are inimitable.

Next, Robyn Lea will be working on new books and an exhibition! Follow her adventures here.

[panoramicdiary]

Rap is Crap

For many within the conservative movement, rap is a uniformly negative reflection of the worst ills and excesses of society. It romanticizing everything wrong with the way society is headed, and the more hard-lined who hold this view believe it isn’t even music in the first place. This line of reasoning is frequently and most notably echoed by the leading figure of the conservative movement, Ben Shapiro.

Shapiro has commented on rap on a number of occasions, but he published an article that neatly summarizes his position on this cultural force. Titled ‘Rap is Crap,’ it’s a phrase every conservative who reflexively mocks rap has at one point thoughtlessly sputtered. It’s thoughtless not because there aren’t respectable reasons to simply not like rap; people dislike whole genres undeniably often, after all. Think of the common statement “I love all music except country”. But disliking a form of music is much different than claiming that opinion is an absolute. In his piece, Shapiro holds up T.I. as a representative model of rap as a whole, but he’s also prone to purposely misinterpreting rap. His analysis of Cardi B’s music video for Bodak Yellow comes to mind. Throughout, he’s confused. He mocks the ungrammatical nature of her lyrics, and he thinks that her being in a desert is some sort of political statement on gender equality in Saudi Arabia rather than a randomly exotic backdrop for her music. These throw into doubt the sincerity of Shapiro’s “takedown.” Is he genuinely convinced that people are reading into this music video that Cardi B is holding up Saudi Arabia as a beacon of gender equality? And though some interpret her song as a statement on feminism, it’s doubtful that the artist herself had thought that much into it. In one breath, Shapiro scoffs at the seeming thoughtlessness of this kind of rap, and in another, he assigns political motivations where convenient. His confusion doesn’t end with Cardi B’s sand dunes.

He pushes on, in reaction to another popular track, so very confused by Future’s “where ya ass was at?”, well, in keeping with his rigid attention to grammar. You begin to wonder whether he’s actually unable to translate Future’s question into plain English. Shapiro likely knows what he means, but he’s criticizing it for being ungrammatical. That hardline way of thinking ignores that much of art eschews strict adherence to rules, grammar, and reality under creative license. The meaning, in spite of the lyrics’ lack of grammar, remains intact. Future is conveying something that, at its core, isn’t essentially unconservative. He’s asking the question of where those near to him now were when he was working his way up the ladder, harkening to the fact that his success had to be earned by him alone. There are many ways to convey this sentiment, but isn’t it more important that such messages get across in the first place?

Language is a tool, not an end unto itself. After all, it’s doubtful that a single, basically intelligent person is going to start ending their questions with prepositions and tossing in “your asses” just because a rapper did. At the same time, one can encourage young people to master the English language, while enjoying rap as a simple form of exaggerated entertainment. And it would be equally silly to mock or act confused while listening to Jamaican dancehall artists when they say “tings” instead of things. His tendency to overthink rap and inject political motives that usually aren’t there blinds him to properly addressing both rap’s flaws and its merits. Say what you will about rap or any other genre for that matter, but if you approach it with the mentality that it’s bad in every way imaginable, it’s no surprise when you’re unwilling to be receptive to it in every way. Applying a political lens to everything is harmful, whether that comes from the feminist or racially tinged corners of the radical left or the right. It’s perfectly fair to dislike most of a genre, but it is essential to understand its appeal from a politically neutral standpoint.

Shapiro’s “Rap is Crap” article followed rapper T.I.’s arrest for illegally owning a variety of guns and suppressors. But the gravest sin on the part of T.I. isn’t his criminal extracurricular activities, but instead the substance of his music. That is the crux of the conservative mindset on rap. The typical conservative thinking goes, not only are its performers frequently delinquent, but they champion that style of living in their music. And while it is accurate to say that the most popular contemporary artists today fall into that camp, it fails to account for what drives general interest in this form of music. It isn’t motivated by a sincere desire to plunge into absurd volumes of strange women, hit some liqs, or wear gold chains that stretch down as far as their sagging jeans. This is especially not the motivation for the vast majority of the public who listen to this music casually. Given that it dependably tops the charts, if that were the case we would be seeing pandemic bloodshed on the streets and uncontrollable domestic abuse (not to mention STDs galore). Clearly, there is an unignorable entertainment factor that accounts for its eminent popularity, and it’s the same one that undergirds the scenes and plots from violent video games and ridiculous movies. It can almost be seen as absurd self-satire; for instance, when you see rappers talking about having as many bitches on their dicks as they claim they do. It’s hard to believe conservatives are genuinely convinced this reflects any semblance of reality. In fact, artists themselves acknowledge what they say in their records is often grossly exaggerated or ridiculous.

Raps many and reoccurring feuds, for example, mirror performances like the WWE, which doesn’t exactly market itself as fake, but is scripted for the audience’s entertainment. Like WWE superstars, rappers love to ignite them and flex for the sake of driving public interest, streams, and sales. And most of their fans know it and the 10-year-olds that don’t inevitably find out that it’s all for the show. The act of overthinking the ridiculous lyrics found in the newest trap banger would be as silly as condemning Dumb & Dumber for romanticizing stupidity or the WWE for romanticizing unrepentant violence. The WWE itself, for that matter, often found itself the target of such criticism. It similarly faced backlash for negatively influencing youth, as if the WWE painted this violence as something worthy of imitation. Unfortunately for such critics, we’ll see these elements of human nature play out in virtually every medium of entertainment because it’s just that: a piece of human nature. For these reasons, conservatives miss quite a bit when they point to the foolish actions of someone like T.I. and suggest that this is the impression any sane listener will come away with. But not all conservatives think that the music of T.I. and others are going to have some sweeping impact on the culture, but rather that it will impact vulnerable minority communities.

Liam Julian of National Review, for example, writes “Hip-hop does not, for instance, play a big role in the lives of most affluent kids, who may just listen to rap while traveling to and from school, or at weekend parties, or while playing sports. This group of young Americans does not see the truth in hip-hop’s messages nor strive to emulate its “lifestyle” … Sadly, the same cannot be said of lots of poor, black kids. For these young Americans, hip-hop’s lyrics are too often real reflections of life; too often they come to embody goals and aspirations. The public, to its immense discredit, is less honest than it should be about rap’s pernicious influence. ”But even accepting that this is true, does the problem lie with the medium or the culture itself? After all, when someone falls prey to video game addiction, is the fault with the video game developers or the addict himself? On those grounds, you would make the same and largely discredited case that the Nicholas Cruz's of the world will be inspired by the violent imagery in video games to carry out their deadly, vengeance-fueled acts. You can hardly blame the industry as a whole when people attempt to act out whatever form of entertainment they’re consuming in extreme ways even while the overwhelming majority of others are able to do so and go about their lives happily and healthily.

More pressingly, if you do, what is the solution? The only apparent one is to demonize a type of entertainment that is otherwise enjoyed by the bulk of people for not only innocent but lighthearted reasons. Critics of rap like Liam Julian of National Review are also mistaken to claim that the genre one dimensionally glorifies a lifestyle of degeneracy and violence. Even the artist he cites, T.I., in one of his most successful tracks ever, Dead and Gone, speaks of this “lifestyle” in dark and decidedly unromantic terms: “Never mind that now, you lucky to be alive, Just think it all started you, fussin' with three guys Now ya pride in the way, but ya pride is the way you Could fuck around, get shot die any day Niggas die, every day all over Bull shit No more stress, now I'm straight, Now I get it now I take time to think, Before I make mistakes, just for my family's sake That part of me left yesterday, the heart of me is strong today No regrets I'm blessed to say, the old me dead and gone away.”

In the same way, the ideas that rap simply glorifies misogyny also reveals a lack of familiarity with even the genre’s most popular tracks. Take for instance the chart-topping “Violent Crimes” off of Kanye West’s newest album: “ye”. “Niggas is savage, niggas is monsters, Niggas is pimps, niggas is players' Til niggas have daughters, now they precautious, Father forgive me, I'm scared of the karma 'Cause now I see women as somethin' to nurture Not somethin' to conquer I pray your body's draped more like mine and not like your mommy's Just bein' salty, but niggas is nuts And I am a nigga, I know what they want.” Moving beyond the fact that rap is not nearly as thoughtless or decadent as its critics believe, by focusing solely on the excesses of rap, they miss a key part of rap’s role in the culture. There is a much more potent strain that celebrates self-determination and grit. Where virtually every other industry of mainstream entertainment and media has cloaked itself in contempt for our capitalist system, the overwhelming majority of rappers celebrate their hard-won successes. In doing so, they offer a message of inspiration to those who otherwise would only hear that their lack of success is because they’re being denied something by an oppressive other.

This is the only cultural force that serves as a rare voice of optimism in an increasingly pessimistic world. It, unlike any other, champions the virtue of self-earned success. Take A$AP Rocky’s Lord Pretty: “Flacko Jodye 2 I ain't never lookin' for no handouts Broke ass niggas never helpin' but they hands out.” Or Joey BadA$$’s Devastated: “At times I thought we'd never make it But now we on our way to greatness And all that ever took was patience I-I-I-I used to feel so devastated At times I thought we'd never make it, yeah But now we on our way to greatness And all that ever took was patience Okay, just getting better each day Stacking that cheddar, cheesecake Looking up to the Lord, we pray Trying to be my best each day Until I'm laid to rest we lay, yeah 'Til the time being we lit Hoping I don't let it get all in my head I don't need money just to say that I'm rich.” Or even Drake’s Scholarship: “I wake up, pray every morning These demons, they callin' my soul I said fuck all of you hoes I'm ballin' outta control I'm ballin' outta control If I can give everything back to you All this passion I got, all I ever needed For me to move on and succeed For me to move on and succeed Jealousy, envy, and greed Too much of that shit I don't need it.”

Naturally, conservatives look at the largely leftist politics of rap artists and think that that must be entirely what the philosophy beneath their lyrics is saying. When in fact, even the most vocal leftists, such as the now-infamous Eminem, have passionately expressed important conservative values--weird as it may sound. A solid example would be this line from his track Beautiful: “Nobody asked for life to deal us With these bullshit hands we're dealt We gotta take these cards ourselves And flip 'em, don't expect no help Now, I could've either just sat on my ass And pissed and moaned Or take this situation in which I'm placed in And get up and get my own.” In another track, legendary Southern rapper Gucci Mane represents the seemingly ignored strain of rap that reflects a deep ability to identify faults and fix them. A message that is much needed within the communities Liam Julian is worried about. “Sometimes I think about my past, it make me start tripping I was gifted with a talent that was God-given But I was so hard-headed I would not listen Sometimes I sit and I reflect about that cold prison And doin' pull-ups with a nigga got a life sentence They gave my nigga Grant life, he only gained on me Five years later, how we in the same room? You go to jail, that's when you see who really love you I don't think nobody love me like my auntie Jean do But I forgive, I been forgiven, I hold grudges too I'm just a work in progress, I'm not even through But I forgive, I been forgiven, I hold grudges too I'm just a work in progress, I'm not even through.” This is to say that not only can rap be defended against its negative criticisms, but it can be defended on positive grounds as well.

Crudeness doesn’t negate meaning or value, and oftentimes it doesn’t end there. Misleadingly, it can seem as though rap is one-dimensionally celebrating sexual hedonism and violence that conservatives are right to detest. But all isn’t as it appears. If you looked at Kanye West’s “Power” unthinkingly, for example, you could be excused for coming away with the impression that it’s merely an anthem for reckless indulgence. What this piece really explores is a much more sober, and self-conflicted take on the perils of power. This is why the Sword of Damocles lingers over Kanye’s head in its music video, even though models and precious metals surround him. West compacts a wide array of artistic and even philosophical meaning in what amounts to a supremely thoughtful piece of music. West’s video and lyrics are inspired by Roman Philosopher Cicero’s meditation on Damocles to illustrate how captivating grand wealth and power might seem on the surface, but how often forgotten is the responsibility that comes with it. This is a theme Kanye’s song draws upon in a way that directly butts heads with the kind of lavish and superficial rap conservatives point to in their wholesale rejection of the genre. Where what is frequently depicted as without consequence and sheerly ecstatic, Kanye offers us a much starker, serious glimpse into that world. One that ends in utter despair, peppered with contemplations of suicide, which he ultimately surrenders to. The chorus goes: “The clock’s ticking, I just count the hours Stop tripping, I’m tripping off the power”, which morphs in the latter act of the song into “I’m tripping off the powder.” The powder is, of course, cocaine. The parallel he’s drawing is a fitting one: power produces an illusory and short-lived ecstasy and an ultimately self-destructive one at that. In a way more mature than conservatives would expect, the artist isn’t celebrating vapid moneymaking or influence or drugs, but recognizing its inherently toxic and fleeting nature.

The first couple lines might seem characteristic of the bravado of stereotypical rap, but it transitions into something much more self-aware. The highs of fame and yes, power, are rife with pitfalls, and Kanye manages to express its folly through the medium of rap. Kanye goes from being “on his own dick” to merely “surviving.” He then engages in one of the most reckless acts imaginable, drunk driving, culminating in a crash--where the word “exciting” morphs into “suicide.” Is this not possible at the heart of what drives so much of the exaggerated peacocking in rap? This, of course, is just one example of how and where rap is not just music, but incredibly meaningful music if you take the time to appreciate and understand what its artists are saying. Which isn’t to say that they’re perfect, and they frequently make utterly foolish blunders. The reality is that it’s incredibly meaningful for more than purely indulgent reasons, which must also be seen.

A central criticism of Shapiro’s is that, as a classically trained musician, rap isn’t music. He makes this case on what can be generously described as faulty grounds. In the track just cited, after all, Kanye draws upon a wide array of musical traditions and genres. From rock to, yes, C Minor, this song serves as a case study to examine how rap is a legitimate form of music. The reservation of C Minor to depict a turbulent, heroic struggle, for instance, is many classical composers ranging from Dmitri Shostakovich String Quartet No. 8 have adhered to a classical tradition originating with Beethoven’s Symphony #5, and Gustav Mahler’s Symphony No. 2 "Resurrection.” Beyond that, his stirring mixture of rap, rock, and 70s classics in such a harmonious fusion can hardly be described as anything but music. The fact that the artist reworked one of his largest hits, Stronger, 75 times with 8 different engineers and eleven different mix engineers from around the world reflects the kind of devotion and consideration that often goes into this kind of, yes, music. Sneering elitism of this sort only serves to cripple conservatives’ ability to penetrate the broader culture. Defiantly blinding yourself to the virtues and complexity of something like rap does that mission a disservice, and hopefully, skeptics may be able to take a more thoughtful look at all forms of legitimate art beyond slogans such as “Rap is Crap.”