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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 5 months

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Clownfall: Endgame - Hello December

I am late writing and posting this, because it's nearly the end of term and I am mega busy (I have leave in two days and I am counting the hours...) BUT some stuff happened last week so let's dig in!

Also quick note before we do: I would like to politely request that you stop tagging this with "England" or "English politics". This is about British politics, not just England, and I am not English. Please do not erase me it takes SO LONG to write these thank you all and goodnight anyway ON WITH THE SHOW

Saturday, 25 November

12.01am

We begin our tale with Oliver Wright of the Times, who reports that … no hang on, wait, I've fucked it, okay. To understand this story, you first need to understand Simon Case.

Simon Case is a civil servant, and current Cabinet Secretary and head of UK Civil Service

He was the highest ranking public official implicated in the Partygate scandal, though he didn’t resign nor was he fined

In the Telegraph’s published WhatsApp messages from Partygate in which Tories all chatted to each other (seriously HOW do those keep getting leaked), Case made fun of holidaymakers stuck in hotel rooms by Covid regulations

In the same messages he also described some opposition to Covid restrictions as “pure Conservative ideology”, which is. An Own Goal

He also described BlowJo as a “nationally distrusted figure” whose isolation rules the public were unlikely to follow, which is true but also the Quiet Part

This information is from Wikipedia, which I’m openly admitting here, so my esteemed colleague hbomberguy can stand down.

Why am I mentioning him! Well. Case was supposed to give evidence to the Covid inquiry in October this year, but didn’t because of medical leave (ironically). In November, he still wasn’t back (should have isolated better, eh, Si), and the inquiry was given private medical information relating to Case (presumably evidence that he’s not just faking it so he doesn't have to be shouted at by angry judges and MPs and that).

So! On Saturday the 25th, eighteen and a half hours before Beep the Meep’s spectacular TV debut, Oliver Wright of the Times reports that Simon Case – uh, before his medical leave - advised Prime Minister Rishi Sunak that he should authorise pre-election talks between the civil service and Labour. Sunak - I suspect obviously - ignored this suggestion, in case it signalled that an election is now imminent.

According to Wright, it’s now questionable whether Case will ever return to his role.

Shame.

Monday, 27 November

2.44pm

House of Commons time! Let's see what our elected representatives are up to.

Tory MP Jill Mortimer says international treaties written 70 years ago "are not fit for purpose" to tackle illegal immigration, so we need to return to the "Deport the browns to Rwanda" plan. Ugh.

2.50pm

The following was reported by Matt Dathan of the Times, so CALL OFF YOUR DOGS hbomberguy.

James Cleverly – the newest Home Secretary, chappie who described another MPs constituency as a shithole in the House of Commons in his second week on the job – says the Rwanda policy isn’t the “be all and end all”.

Robert Jenrick – the Minister of State for Immigration – says the policy is an "extremely important component" of the government's small boats policy.

So! James Cleverly and Robert Jenrick disagree on this matter! Exciting! Hey, Tumblrs, just for fun...

Let’s remember those two names.

2.58pm

Robert Jenrick says boat crossings have been reduced by more than a third in the last year, but that numbers are still unacceptably high.

FUN SELF-STUDY ACTIVITY: Take a moment to form an opinion of Robert Jenrick! It’ll be worth it.

Here is some information to get you started: Jenrick this year ordered some lovely murals of cartoon characters (Mickey Mouse, Tom and Jerry, etc) to be painted over at a children’s asylum centre in Kent. His explicit reason is because he thought they were "too welcoming" for lone refugee children arriving in the UK, and such children should not feel welcome here.

Have you formed your opinion yet? Then I'll continue.

8.13pm

Rishi Sunak cancels a meeting with the Greek Prime Minister in a row over the Elgin Marbles.

Uh, there's a lot going on here - this is about the stolen marble frescoes that should be in the Parthenon in Athens, that gross British thief Lord Elgin stole decades ago and plonked into the British Museum. Greece has been asking for them back ever since, but a small handful of old white men who are in charge of the British Museum don't want to give them back and keep stating that Greece wouldn't look after them properly, which is a hell of a claim given that Elgin literally broke one when he nicked them, and also, he fucking stole them. Anyway, it turns out to the surprise of no one that Sunak also doesn't think we should give them back, and so when the matter was raised in an Anglo-Greek meeting recently Sunak literally walked out of it, even though the meeting was actually about something else.

So HERE HE IS refusing to do any diplomacy with Greece now i.e. his actual fucking job.

This is a big deal for the immigration-obsessed though! According to a Labour source, Greece is an essential ally for any agreement on illegal migration.

And even the Prime Minister’s supporters think he’s got this one wrong.

Wednesday, 29 November

Prime Minister’s Questions!

This is the (televised) point in the week where the PM has to appear in the Commons and be grilled by anyone who wants to put the boot in about anything at all. Keir Starmer decides today is the day to do some actual opposition, pushes Sunak on several fronts, and pretty much everyone reckons this is Starmer’s best ever performance at PMQs. People especially enjoy Starmer calling Rishi the “man with the reverse Midas touch”.

This is not, strictly speaking, actually funny. But it's political humour, which is like office humour. It doesn't actually have to be.

12.22pm

A former cabinet member tells the press that the Greek government are furious at Sunak’s snub. Uh oh!

Thursday, 30 November

Disgraced former Secretary of State for Health and all round human 1950s meat blancmange Matt Hancock talks to the Covid inquiry today. Specifically, to explain why he, the then-Secretary of State for Health, led the government so badly in the pandemic that we developed the second highest death rate in the world. To hear him tell it, he was an underdog hero doing his best to fight a toxic culture at Whitehall to get the pandemic handled responsibly.

The only problem with this is that it is contradicted by everyone else’s accounts.

He is called a “proven liar” who was “unfit for the job” by proven liar and unfit for his job Dominic Cummings. Former civil servant Helen MacNamara says Hancock displayed “nuclear levels” of overconfidence and said lots of things that later turned out to be untrue. Sadly for HandCock, he said these things to cameras that were recording him onto the telly, and so we do actually know.

Monday, 4 December

Keir Starmer talked about the economy today. He won’t rule out cutting public services, and it looks like he’s trying to tell disenfranchised Tory voters to jump ship to Labour.

Hope it’s a bluff! Very depressing if he’s serious. This is nowhere near as much fun as Tories being humiliated.

21.47pm

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!

(This is from the Mirror, you can’t destory me on your YouTube.)

Labour MP Diana Johnson proposes an amendment to the Victims and Prisoners Bill to compensate thousands of patients infected with HIV and hepatitis C through contaminated blood products in the 70s and 80s, to the tune of billions of pounds.

And it WON! Narrowly – 246 votes to 242. A huge deal, because that includes 23 Tory backbenchers. That is very bad for Rishi Sunak. He he he.

Tory MP Edward Argar had tried to sort this in adance, by saying the government would provide their own similar amendment to the bill. Basically, he realised this was a controversial bill for the party, and wanted to present a version that could be a Tory victory rather than a Labour victory and Tory humiliation.

Didn’t work.

And neither did a THREE LINE WHIP for Tory MPs to vote against the Labour plan?!?? YES KIDS YOU READ THAT RIGHT Sunak didn't want people infected with HIV and hepatitis C through contaminated blood products in the 70s and 80s to receive compensation in case it made him look bad, so he imposed a three line whip to force Tories to vote against it.

And 23 of them rebelled.

And now he looks even worse.

Lol.

Tuesday, 5 December

Have you done your homework, Tumblrs? Have you remembered those names? Have you formed an opinion?

7.38am

Home Office minister and children's cartoon hater Robert Jenrick is interviewed on Sky News. It’s ugly stuff. He refers to small boats “[breaking] in” to the UK. He insists asylum seekers WILL start being deported to Rwanda before the next General Election. And generally does big talk about cutting immigration.

What a hero.

1.27pm

James Cleverly is in Rwandan capital Kigali, as the UK signs a new treaty designed to help score the Supreme Court’s approval for the Rwanda plan.

1.40pm

So!

Cleverly’s doing pretty much what he said he’d do. He’s trying to legislate to make the Rwanda plan safer, rather than try to disapply human rights treaties. This, of course, is the Sensible Plan, if your plan is still to get people killed, but you want it to actually succeed.

But former Home Secretary Cruella Braverman is driving a load of Tories to push to disapply human rights obligations – and she’s joined in this by Robert Jenrick!!!!

That’s RIGHT! Hope you remembered his name, because now he’s a VILLAIN! Or, well, more of one, and in a more immediate way. After disagreeing with Cleverly in the commons on 27 November, he’s joined Team Suella. Tonight he’ll be part of a meeting between three different right-wing groupings...

1.46pm

The new treaty guarantees that, if these plans go ahead, asylum seekers won’t be returned to countries where their lives or freedom are threatened, and creates a requirement for an independent monitoring committee.

This treaty would be great if we lived in a world where the Supreme Court trusted the Rwandan government to honour treaty obligations. But we live in the world where NOT having this trust was part of the reason the Supreme Court ruled the plans unlawful.

Even if this wasn’t the case, we still need new legislation, and that’ll be way more controversial than this new treaty. The legislation was said to be ready by Thursday, which is a very short turnaround that only a lunatic would believe, but in a SHOCK DISAPPOINTING U-TURN the government now refuses to commit to this.

In any case...

This is causing cracks in the Tory party.

10.33pm

The Parliament's Christmas tree lights are turned on!

It goes as well as anything else in Parliament:

youtube

A visual representation of the Tory Party schism.

Wednesday, 6 December

8.21am

Boris Johnson arrives at the covid inquiry. He will be questioned for two days.

He he he

10.26am

Johnson is asked why around 5,000 WhatsApp messages were lost on his phone from January to June 2020.

Steffan made this brilliant meme. Please do not grass me up to hbomberman.

11.33am

It’s clear by now that Johnson wasn’t alert to the danger of covid by February 2020. Johnson says it wasn’t declared a pandemic by WTO yet, and he wasn’t asked about it in PMQs. Gosh! What a good point, maybe!

Until the KC points out a troubling fact: “You were the Prime Minister.”

Ah. Yes. PMQs are irrelevant, you see – the Prime Minister is allowed information that the opposition aren’t.

And, indeed, he probably would have had, if he'd actually attended the five Cobra meetings about it that would have briefed him on it just as the virus was being discovered.

12.49pm

2.24pm

I’m skipping most of this stuff, since it’s normal lies and non-specific apologies from BJ.

But this one’s interesting. Matt HandCock claimed he told Johnson on 13 March to call a lockdown. There’s no written evidence of this happening. Johnson outright contradicts it.

Lol

5.43pm

Cruella Braverman rejects Sunak’s Rwanda bill. It fails the five tests she claimed his bill would need to pass.

These are tests she made up and published in a newspaper, I should stress, like they don't exist and she is not an authority. This is a bit like if I marched into your house, dear reader, and went "You are not allowed to celebrate the holidays this year because I personally said you have to pass my tests first and you haven't", and I'm pretty sure if I tried that you would drop me in a bin and laugh at me.

But, she has many supporters on the Tory right...

5.48pm

The Sun’s political correspondent says that if the Lords try to block emergency legislation, some Tory MPs reckon Sunak should call an election, fighting on Rwanda.

I desperately want this. I DESPERATELY want this. They’ll lose that election so badly. SO badly. God, likes charge reblogs cast.

6.53pm

The villain Robert Jenrick … RESIGNS!

Oh no! This is not good news if you’re the Prime Minister.

Fucking fantastic for the rest of us, though

7.26pm

Jenrick publishes his resignation letter on Twitter. It’s two pages long, claiming the PM’s Rwanda plan basically won’t work.

Jenrick’s not wrong about that, but I speak as someone who doesn’t want any version of the Rwanda plan – not the monstrous Sunak one, and certainly not the hypermonstrous Braverman one. Good. Thanks for confirming, Darth Bell-end.

8.31pm

I enjoyed this tweet.

8.52pm

Sunak writes back to Jenrick, claiming the new plan WILL work.

Which is not normally what happens?!? Normally they yell about their current madness in a letter, publish it on Twitter because no one else cares or will agree, and get roundly ignored. But, desperate times! Here, Sunak’s challenge is to try to win over the Tories who don’t believe in his ability to deliver the plan. It’s a big ask.

So what are we left with?

10.37pm

A senior figure on the Tory right is asked whether their side will kill Sunak’s bill.

And they’re not sure! If it’s the only offer on the table, it seems sensible to vote for it.

BUT the right wing of the Tories aren’t famously very sensible. They’ll probably try and add amendments at the very least, but it’s genuinely possible they’ll reject it out of spite, because they are LUNATICS. Or as a political move to weaken Sunak.

And that's what you missed in the Tory Civil War!

(Up to last week)

#politik #clownfall: endgame

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quinnlarrabee · 17 days

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Macron's fiery Sorbonne speech targets summering American Millennials

It’s no coincidence that Emmanuel Macron gave a fiery speech about the threats facing Europe the same week that American Millennials in New York, LA, and Miami began talking about booking their one-way flights to the continent. "There is a risk our Europe could die - we are not equipped to face the risks," Macron said, referring to the dietary allergies, alternative milk needs, and tedious conversations of trust-funded, unemployed young adults who will begin their summer in Paris to attend a museum benefit that spills into a large dinner party with several professional photographers before traveling to Puglia, Comporta, or Ibiza where they will subsist on ‘beautiful tomatoes,’ flat whites, and MDMA.

Europe has struggled with illegal immigration for decades, and there is no more pressing illegal immigration threat than American Millennials who have decided that being unemployed in Europe is less distressing for their parents than being unemployed in Williamsburg. Google searches for ‘how long can I stay in EU without passport’ spiked in late-April among Americans who have not yet bought a Portuguese passport from a guy who used to run a turnkey Burning Man camp who is now running a Golden Visa scheme in Lisbon. “Our Europe today is mortal,” Macron said. “It can die and that depends solely on our choices,” the choices being whether or not to search and detain for ketamine at customs and how to clearly define tipping protocol in restaurants.

“It used to be enough to spend a couple weeks in Italy in July,” observes Coco, a 34-year-old retired gallery founder who is on the board of several art-related non-profits that she instructed her unpaid interns to start. “But now it gets so hot in Europe in July that everyone is going in June and even like, May.” Coco has several weddings and dinner parties in various coastal destinations in Europe in June, but she has not yet RSVP’d nor has she booked any travel. “I know I’m going to go, but I’ve just been too busy to look at the dates or book anything,” she says, absently picking some kind of beige matter from the left eye of her toy goldendoodle. Macron at one point asserts in his speech that Europe is “too slow and lacks ambition,” referring directly to Coco’s ambivalent European travel plans.

Uncertainty permeates the vibe in Europe right now, not because of a military threat posed by a giant, angry country with cocked nukes driven by a weak-minded Cold War relic, but because every Millennial in New York, Miami and Los Angeles has expressed their intention to occupy Europe without declaring the targets.

“Is very stressful,” says Aldo Melpignano, the proprietor of Borgo Egnazia, a trendy boutique hotel in Puglia that for Europeans costs €120 a night and charges 30something Americans visiting from coastal zipcodes $970. “I see the hashtags on the Instagram, like, I’m coming for your @borgoegnazia,” he says. “Va bene, Allison, when you gonna come for us, and are you gonna come with that stupid capello?” says Aldo while making a pinched-fingers emoji with one hand and pointing to his head with the other. Hotel, coffee shop, organic market, and narcotics purveyors all over Italy, France, Spain, and Portugal have echoed this desire for more resolute planning and fewer hats from the demographic that funds the less productive but more desirable EU countries.

"We must produce more, we must produce faster, and we must produce as Europeans," Macron said, a rallying cry to European DJs to sample only vocals that were recorded in native European languages.

“Europe must show that it is never a vassal of the United States and that it also knows how to talk to all the other regions of the world," Macron said, refuting the irrefutable fact that Europe has become a summer camp for unproductive younger Americans and suggesting that they be immediately deported to Bodrum or Izmir upon landing at CDG, MXP, and LIS.

“This is a betrayal of our values that ultimately leads us to dependency on other counties,” Macron said, making an observation about Europe’s frustration with having to work between May and August in order to show American Millennials how to correctly tap their credit card on puzzling European payment terminals.

“Europe must become capable of defending its interests, with its allies by our side whenever they are willing, and alone if necessary,” said Macron, in defense of French baristas who do not like working with oat milk. Taking a hands-on approach to ensuring the EU’s “ability to ensure our security” Macron and his wife will begin their Summer at a wedding in the Aeolian Islands in early June, float around Sicily or Puglia the following week, head to Bonjuk Bay for an appearance of prominent LA-based DJ, RICHE, and then couch-surf in Santa Gertrudis de Fruitera the rest of the summer.

#satire #culture #dark humor #social commentary #jokes

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metamatar · 10 months

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With a budget nearing $1 billion, Frontex is the EU’s best-funded government agency. [...] including by helping Libya’s EU-funded coast guard send hundreds of thousands of migrants back to be detained in Libya under conditions that amounted to torture and sexual slavery. In 2022, the agency’s director, Fabrice Leggeri, was forced out over a mountain of scandals, including covering up similar “pushback” deportations, which force migrants back across the border before they can apply for asylum.

[...] EU hopes to extend Frontex’s reach far beyond its territory, into sovereign African nations Europe once colonized, with no oversight mechanisms to safeguard against abuse. Initially, the EU even proposed granting immunity from prosecution to Frontex staff in West Africa. [...] 26 African countries have received taxpayer euros aimed at curbing migration through more than 400 discrete projects. Between 2015 and 2021, the EU invested $5.5 billion in such projects, with more than 80% of the funds coming from developmental and humanitarian aid coffers.

[...] Besides the surveillance tech the DNLT branches receive, migration data analysis systems have also been installed at each post, along with biometric fingerprinting and facial recognition systems. The stated aim is to create what eurocrats call an African IBM system: Integrated Border Management. [...] no European countries maintain databases with this level of biometric information.

[...] In Niger, for instance, the EU helped draft a law that criminalized virtually all movement in the north of the country, effectively making regional mobility illegal.

#migration #refugees #imperialism #europe #surveillance #borders

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batboyblog · 8 months

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In speeches, interviews and campaign videos, Trump has promised to:

Use the military to participate in the largest deportation of undocumented immigrants in American history;

Order the National Guard into cities with high crime rates, whether local officials want it or not;

Prosecute Californians who protect minors coming to the state for gender-affirming care;

Impose a 10% tariff on almost all foreign goods, increasing prices for consumers;

Appoint a special prosecutor to “go after” his political opponents, beginning with Biden;

Purge the federal civil service of anyone who questions his views.

lets be clear here, Donald Trump wants to use the military to hunt immigrants and if you think it'll stop at "illegal" immigrants I have a bridge to sell you. He wants to place major American cities, Democratic cities under military occupation, oh also while he fires any Democrats from the civil service and "goes after" his political enemies. And as a cherry on top he'll make being trans illegal.

right now the world is trying to distract you from this, trying to act like this is a normal election with two more or less equal choices that both have problems and draw backs, thats not true. One side is selling an authoritarian dictatorship that wants to carry out a genocide of trans people, the other side is not.

#Politics #US politics #Donald Trump #Trump #Joe Biden #Republicans #vote #trans rights #trans #immigration #refugees

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sirfrogsworth · 5 months

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People need to understand a 2000 mile border is going to be porous no matter what barriers they try to put in place.

A humanitarian solution to a humanitarian crisis makes the most sense. Documenting folks would allow them to get jobs and pay taxes and contribute to the economy. We could focus less on people who just want jobs and a better place to live and put more attention on all of the drug runners and traffickers. People with documents would be less inclined to do anything illegal because they don't want to lose their jobs and get deported.

Documenting people would accomplish all of the things conservatives say they are concerned about.

So weird they won't consider that as a solution, isn't it?

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gusty-wind · 3 months

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#the great awakening #war is real #ncswic #panic in dc

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badingsm · 7 months

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can i request something filipino?like filo reader brings nat in the ph and then they try street foods??

The Proposal Series — II. Immigration, Homecoming, Romanoff

Hi Anon! I hope it's okay to combine your request with my little series! Also, sorry for the delay; I got really busy with school. And oh, credits to The Proposal movie, especially the script and the plot, because obviously that's where this story will go!

"1023, 1024, 1025, 1026-"

"Will you please shut up?" Natasha snapped from beside you, her sunglasses covering half of her face as you both rode her car to the immigration office. "God, you're so annoying!"

"I'm sorry, if somebody's annoying here, it would definitely be you!" You muttered lowly with a frown before looking at her directly in the eyes. "This is so fucking illegal."

"Where's the fun with always being on the legal side?"

"I'm not going to marry you, Natasha." The first name basis was such a bold move for you to do, but with the pressure, fear, and everything that you've been feeling, you couldn't care less, causing the latter to glare at you with those forest gems that she owned.

"Sure you are." Was the last thing that she replied before her side of the door was opened by the driver, leaving you frustrated with her attitude and everything about her.

You followed Natasha inside, and there you saw the really long line that made your boss curse to herself. Just as you were about to go and line up, Natasha had already left your side, instead opting to go straight to the counter and making the people (who have been waiting for so long) groan in annoyance.

"The line.."

"Shut up and just follow." She instructed as if you're her dog that she could boss around everywhere and anytime she pleases. The next person on the line was about to approach the personnel, but Natasha had already taken her spot with a simple glare. The older woman immediately backed away. "I just need to ask him something."

"Hi!" You smiled apologetically. "Sorry for the..."

"I need for you to file this fiancé visa for me," Natasha said to the in-charge worker at the cubicle, the latter shaking his head in annoyance but nonetheless accepting the papers that you've brought. "Thanks."

"Miss Romanoff?" Cris, as you saw from his name tag, read through the file.

Natasha nodded in confirmation, "Yeah."

"Please come with me."

"I want to puke," You whispered in the silence that fell into the room. You were led into an office where papers for people's visas and such are being processed. "I have a bad feeling about this."

Knock! Knock! Knock!

"Morning, lovebirds!" A man came in, and you were guessing that he's probably in his early 40s. "I'm Mister Loki Laufeyson, and you must be Y/n.." He faced you, making you answer with a small nod because you were still unsure about everything that's been happening recently. "And you must be Miss.."

"Romanoff." Natasha continued with a subtle eye roll because she knew deep inside that she would hate this man for the rest of her life.

"Yes." Loki nodded. "Sorry about the wait. It's a busy day today, as you can see from the long line."

"Yeah, yeah." Your boss cut him off. "And we appreciate you for seeing us on such short notice."

Insert sarcasm.

It's her nature, and she can't help it anymore.

"Okay." The older man shrugged and began sitting on his chair. "Blablablablablablabla.."

You watched him through uncertain eyes as he surveyed all the files that you were tasked to prepare at the last minute before you both came here for this shit.

"So I have one question for you," Loki sighed. "Are you both committing fraud to avoid her deportation? And so she could keep her position in the company?"

"That's... that's ridiculous."

"Where did you get that?" Natasha squinted her eyes, scoffing sarcastically but subtly.

"We had a phone tip this afternoon from a woman named-"

"Sharon." The redhead guessed correctly.

"Sharon Carter." The man agreed impressively.

"Poor Sharon. I'm sorry, you see.." Natasha faked sympathy, remaining standing by the side with her phone clutched tightly against her palm. "Sharon is nothing but a disgruntled employee that I just fired because of her tardiness and laziness. I believe this is just her way for some childish revenge for me… And we know that your department is very busy, so if you just give us the next step, we'll be out of your hair and on our way."

"Miss Romanoff, please." Loki gestured the chair for the redhead to sit, which she obeyed immediately. "Let me explain the process that's about to unfold. Step one will be a scheduled interview. I'll put you into a room where I ask every little question that a real couple should know about each other."

"Mm." You gulped nervously.

"Step two: I dig deeper. I look at your phone records. Talk to your neighbors. Interview your co-workers about your relationship." Loki said firmly, "And if your answers don't match up, you." He pointed at Natasha, "Will be deported immediately."

"Hm.." Natasha nodded with a shrug.

"And you, young lady." You think he's flirting with you when he turns to your side, but it's gone as soon as you blink your eyes, swallowed by the nerves settling in. "Will have committed a felony punishable by a fine of $250,000 and a vacation of five years in the federal prison."

The weight of everything had finally sunk in, and you felt the sweat building up intensely against your chest, your hairline, your armpits—your whole body.

"So," Loki fake-whispered, scrutinizing you with his gaze as if he's challenging you and wants you to give in already. "Wanna tell me something?"

At first, you shook your head, thinking about how you would lose your job and how everything that you've worked hard for (including dealing with the unbearable attitude of Natasha for three years) would come to waste, but then you also remembered that you didn't want to end up in jail for that long, making you nod your head a little bit to answer him.

"Yes?" He questioned, not paying attention to Natasha's foot stomping yours with her heels underneath the table, causing you to shake your head, silently signaling the redhead to stop it already. "No?"

"The truth is.." You cleared your hoarse throat, gathering all your thoughts and setting aside your emotions until further time. "Mr. Laufeyson, the truth is.."

Meanwhile, Natasha sat there with a clenched jaw, looking back and forth between you and Loki, waiting for the outcome of what your next words might bring, but to her surprise, it came out well for her side, especially when you spoke again.

"Natasha and I..." You breathed out deeply, nervously plucking the skin on your fingers beneath the view of this man. "Are just two people who weren't supposed to be in love but did. The reason we can't tell anyone we work with is because of my promotion that's coming up, and we don't want them to think that I only got that because we're in a relationship... We don't want that, of course."

"Promotion?" Natasha raised her brow.

You continued, feeling more confident this time, "We both felt that it wouldn't be the right time to reveal everything, so we kept our relationship secret to everyone. As I said, we don't want them to think that I'm getting promoted just because we are... you know."

"So," He mumbled. "Do your parents know about this?"

"Uh, parents. Don't have one." Natasha quickly cut in, "Adaptive ones, sure, but we've lost contact since I was just a child. Technically, no parents on my side to tell this about."

Loki faced you, "And you? Are your parents dead?"

"No." Your boss answered easily for you, "Hers are very much alive, and oh, in fact, we're actually planning to tell them this weekend on her Lola's 90th birthday celebration. The whole family's coming together, and we thought it'd be a nice surprise."

This eavesdropping woman!

"And where is this party happening?" Loki questioned eagerly to Natasha, like he just sensed something as he squinted his eyes for some flaws in Natasha's words.

"At Y/n's parents house, of course." The Russian answered confidently with a small chuckle.

"And where is that located again?" He pushed, making Natasha mentally curse herself and the man in front of her.

"Um," Natasha scoffed. "Why am I doing all the talking? Baby, come on, it's your parent's house. Tell him where it is!"

"Mexico."

"Mexico," Natasha repeated.

You continued, "Philippines."

"Philippines?" She looked at you with wide eyes but said nothing else.

"So you're going to fly to the Philippines this weekend?" Loki asked with raised brows.

"Yeah." You both agreed, feeling Natasha's hesitance in her tone but disregarding it otherwise because, well, you two don't have a choice; that much is obvious.

"We are going to the Philippines," Natasha informed, touching your shoulder for some fake affection. "That's where my baby's from."

"Fine." Loki sighed, disappointed that he couldn't squeeze you enough to admit anything right now. "I see how this is going to go. I'll have to see you both at 11 by Monday morning for your scheduled interview, and your answers better match up on every account, or else..."

"Thank you, Sir." You stood up immediately to shake his cold hands, while Natasha stood up to answer the call from her phone.

You sighed, shoulders slumping as you showed your way out with Natasha's nose glued to her phone by your side.

Everything inside your head is noisy, and it makes you want to burst out, but every time you open your mouth, nothing comes out, which frustrates your whole being because, my god..

What did you get yourself into?

"Okay." Natasha finally broke the loud silence, snapping you out of your thoughts. "What's going to happen is we'll go down there and pretend that we're girlfriends, then tell them we're engaged. Book our flights. First class. And oh, confirm the vegan meal for me, okay? Because the last time, they actually gave it to a vegan and they forced me to eat this slimy, clammy, creamy salad thingy, which was really—hey, why aren't you taking notes?"

"I'm sorry, were you not in that room?" You sarcastically questioned with furrowed brows.

"What?" Natasha looked at you confusedly before she flashed you a small (not real) smile. "Oh! The thing about the promotion! That's a good one; he fell for it."

"I was serious." You muttered, "I'm looking at a $250,000 fine and five years in jail. That changes things."

"Promote you to a higher position that you're not capable of? No, no way." She scoffed.

You rolled your eyes with a shrug. "Then I quit, and you're screwed. Bye, Natasha."

And just as you were about to walk out, you heard her call you again, making you smirk to yourself.

"Fine. Fine!" Natasha frowned. "I'll promote you, fine—if you do this whole weekend in the Philippines thing and the immigration thingy, you'll get what you ask for. Happy?"

"Not in two years, but right away," You challenged.

"Fine!" She gave in with a groan, and you grinned at how you finally got her to agree with you for the first time ever since you worked for her.

"Now ask me nicely, Natasha." You smirked subtly.

"Ask you nicely, what?" She looked up from her phone, confused.

"Ask me nicely to marry you."

"What does that mean?" The redhead Russian asked with a tone that says she's losing her patience, but nah, you have the upper hand this time, and you sure damn hell you'll make the most out of it.

"You heard me." You gestured to her. "On your knees."

"What the f-" You raised your brow at her in warning, causing her to stop in mid-sentence before she began kneeling down with her sarcastic smile and dangerous eyes. "Y/n.."

"Yes?" You teased.

"Sweet, sweet, Y/n." Natasha did an adorable pout, looking like she's a puppy begging for food, but of course, it was mixed with sarcasm as usual. "Will you please, with cherries on top, marry me?"

You hummed for good measure, pretending to think as you looked away.

"I don't appreciate the sarcasm, but that'll do it." You shrugged. "See you tomorrow, boss!"

And with that, you left her almost falling flat on her face if it wasn't for her attentive skills that she caught herself and saved herself from the embarrassment as she cursed you in her mind.

Off to the Philippines we go!

—

Taglist (that I forgot yet again, sorry 😭): @taliiiaasteria @marvels--slut @freeyanna

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff fluff #black widow #natasha romanoff x you #black widow x reader #soft natasha romanoff #marvel #natasha romanoff au #the proposal 2009 #loki laufeyson

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simply-ivanka · 4 months

Text

#deport all illegals #FJB #trump #president trump #trump 2024 #americans first #america first

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valeriianz · 9 months

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I've had this Dreaming The Proposal AU sitting in my drafts for a while. Then @voukkake comes out with this art and I figured it was time to brush off the dust and share what I'd written lol. This is seriously all I'm going to write so if anyone is interested I'm begging you to pick this up. I'm dying to read Dream awkwardly interacting with Hob's family (also @valiantstarlights suggestion that Betty White is Destiny?? ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT). Anyway...

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Dream is about to be deported because his visa application has been denied. He is in the middle of a meeting with his lawyers when Hob, his secretary, pops in the room to inform Dream of a very important phone call and Dream comes up with the insane plan to marry Hob to keep his immigration status.

He gestures for Hob to come over and Hob, clueless, wanders into the room and stands next to Dream, who takes him by the arm and tugs him just a little bit further to stand awkwardly close.

Dream announces their engagement and Hob stands there, shell shocked and feels his mouth moving against his will. That yeah, they are getting married. They are in love, sure. It isn’t until they leave the office, following Dream back to his, that Hob’s brain seems to come back online.

“What just happened in there?”

Dream grouses, head down, already back to his work as if nothing happened. Like he didn’t just use Hob as a pawn in his scheme to get around his denied visa application.

“They were going to make Morningstar editor-in-chief.” Is all Dream says, disdain dripping from every word. He still hasn’t looked up.

Hob stands there, still as a statue. His head is swimming with words, with emotions. Anger, disbelief, betrayal… and a small tiny flicker of undeniable interest that he hastily stomps out.

He manages to put the pieces together rather quickly though, while Dream continues sifting through paperwork.

“This is illegal,” Hob manages to croak out, brows furrowing.

“Oh, please. The government looks for terrorists, not book publishers.” Dream’s head is still down in his paperwork.

Hob blinks, taking a step up to Dream’s desk. “I'm not marrying you.”

“Sure you are.” Dream sets aside a stack of papers and finally gives Hob his attention. “Because if you don't, your dreams of ‘touching millions of lives with the written word’ are dead.”

Hob’s jaw drops. That was a line, corny as it was, that he’d used in the panel interview for this job. Three years ago.

----------------------

“Were you not in that room? I could get fined, I’ll go to jail over this. If you want me on this deal, you will promote me to editor.”

Without even glancing up from his phone, Dream scoffs.

“Absolutely not.”

“Well then I guess you’re screwed. Buh-bye.” Hob turns with a flourish and has to bite back a grin at how Dream splutters behind him and grabs him by the arm.

“Fine– fine! Editor.” His face seems to go through the five stages of grief. He drops his hold on Hob.

“And You’ll publish my manuscript.” Hob throws in. In for a penny.

Dream’s brows narrow and he shakes as if he’s physically controlling the urge to stamp his foot.

“Sure. I’ll publish your hack manuscript.”

“Good.” Hob slips his hands in his pants pockets, staring at Dream, deciding on one last nail in the coffin.

“Now do it properly.”

Dream cocks an eyebrow. “Do what properly?”

“Propose. Like you mean it.”

Dream’s entire body seizes up, but he manages not to let it show, distracting himself by slipping his phone in the pocket of his expensive slacks and clasping his hands in front of him.

“Will you marry me?”

“No.” Hob, the arrogant bastard, is visibly biting back a smirk. “Say it like you mean it.”

Dream takes a long, steadying breath through his nose.

“Hob Gadling. Will you–”

“And get on your knees.”

Dream absolutely refuses to decipher the thrill that shoots through his body at Hob’s command. Instead he keeps his mask of irritation and indifference on as he scans the crowd around them. They are still outside the courthouse, and the concrete sidewalk is going to potentially tear Dream’s Hugo Boss black wool pants.

So he carefully lowers himself, scowling as the smirk on Hob’s face only widens as Dream slowly settles onto the ground.

Once he’s as comfortable as Dream’s going to get, he clears his throat.

“Hob Gadling,” he glares at his subordinate from under his lashes. “Will you fucking marry me?”

Hob curls his lips in mock consideration, looking up past Dream’s head. He rocks back on his heels and nods with a forlorn sigh.

“Okay.” He still hasn’t met Dream’s gaze. “Could've done without the sarcasm but it will do. See you at the airport tomorrow.”

And turns and walks away, leaving Dream to fend for himself on the ground.

#dreamling #hob x dream #the sandman #my writing #i guess this is my niche now?#transcribing romcoms into dreamling fodder lol #i cant stop thinking about that *chefs kiss* perfect line on the airplane #when Dream asks Hob what he's allergic to. as a test.#and Hob confidently responds with 'tree nuts. and the whole spectrum of human emotion.'#or Dream cornering Hob at his family's home and getting in his face at how irritated he is by the taunting and teasing and that #Hob needs to step it up #and Hob. sly as ever. throws back: 'oh. thats no problem for me. i can be the doting. sweet. smitten fiance. but it's /you/...#... that needs to be convincing.'#and then he idk offers them to practice kissing in private and Dream is so mortified by the prospect but also.#.. definitely a little (a lot) interested #okay im done lol #the proposal au

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robertreich · 1 year

Video

youtube

Why Child Labor in America is Skyrocketing

Corporations are bringing back child labor in America.

And some Republicans want to make it easier for them to get away with it.

Since 2015, child labor violations have risen nearly 300%. And those are just the violations government investigators have managed to uncover and document.

The Department of Labor says it's currently investigating over 600 cases of illegal child labor in America. Major American companies like General Mills, Walmart, and Ford have all been implicated.

Why on Earth is this happening? The answer is frighteningly simple: greed.

Employers have been having difficulty finding the workers they need at the wages they are willing to pay. Rather than reduce their profits by paying adult workers more, employers are exploiting children.

The sad fact of the matter is that many of the children who are being exploited are considered to be “them” rather than “us” because they’re disproportionately poor and immigrant. So the moral shame of subjecting “our” children to inhumane working conditions when they ought to be in school is quietly avoided.

And since some of these children (or their parents) are undocumented, they dare not speak out or risk detention and deportation. They need the money. This makes them easily exploitable.

It’s a perfect storm that’s resulting in vulnerable children taking on some of the most brutal jobs.

Folks, we’ve seen this before.

Reformers fought to establish the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938 for a reason — to curb the grotesque child labor seen during America’s first Gilded Age.

The U.S. banned most child labor.

But now, pro-business trade groups and their Republican lackeys are trying to reverse nearly a century of progress, and they're using the so-called "labor shortage" as their excuse.

Arkansas will no longer require 14 and 15 year olds to get a work permit before taking a job — a process that verified their age and required permission from a parent or guardian.

A bill in Ohio would let children work later on school nights.

Minnesota Republicans are pushing to let 16 year-olds work in construction.

And 14-year-olds in Iowa may soon be allowed to take certain jobs in meatpacking plants and operate dangerous machinery.

It’s all a coordinated campaign to erode national standards, making it even easier for companies to profit off children.

Across America, we’re witnessing a resurgence of cruel capitalism in which business lobbyists and lawmakers justify their actions by arguing that they are not exploiting the weak and vulnerable, but rather providing jobs for those who need them and would otherwise go hungry or homeless.

Conveniently, these same business lobbyists and lawmakers are often among the first to claim we “can’t afford” stronger safety nets that would provide these children with safe housing and adequate nutrition.

So what can stop this madness?

First: Fund the Department of Labor so it can crack down on child labor violations. When I was Secretary of Labor, the department was chronically underfunded and understaffed. It still is, because lawmakers and their corporate backers want it that way.

Second: Increase fines on companies that break child labor laws. Current fines are too low, and are treated as costs of doing business by hugely profitable companies that violate the law.

Third: Hold major corporations accountable. Many big corporations contract with smaller companies that employ children, which allows the big corporations to play dumb and often avoid liability. It’s time to demand that large corporations take responsibility for their supply chains.

Fourth: Reform immigration laws so undocumented children aren’t exploited.

And lastly: Organize. Fight against state laws that are attempting to bring back child labor.

Are corporate profits really more important than the safety of children?

#youtube #videos #video #child labor #economy #labor shortage #Republicans

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oldgayjew · 3 months

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This bill calls for the deportation of all illegal invaders ...

... and this bit of information explains why the Nazicrats aren't willing to stop the influx of illegal invaders ...

Human sex trafficking of women and children is the hallmark of the elitist Hollywood DC crowd and the most important issue in America ... but the Useful Idiots of the Goebbels Media go out of their way to keep silent about it and fill their "reporting" with anything to have Trump in the spotlight ... whether misrepresentations or outright lies ...

One day they will be called to answer for their words ...

#bjb oldgayjew #bjb oldgayjew prophecy's shout #john galt bjb #history's ghost - screaming - again #barsefrin - the elder #bjb - barsefrin #bjb #bjb - oldgayjew #john galt #oldgayjew - my blog

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talisidekick · 3 months

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I saw a post of someone, as far as I could tell they were transgender, getting mad how people are letting the current tumblr fiasco (see any post tagging predesterone, avewy, or predestrogen. TL;DR trans girl got banned off the site for making a 'threat' to Tumblrs CEO while suffering a months long harassment, bigotry, and stalking campaigne without Tumblr lifting a finger to help. Tumblr responded with a ban citing reasons already disproven by their own process.) distract everyone from the current situation in Gaza, which is a coming mass assault. And I do get the frustration. But lets put both in perspective beginning with the 10 stages of genocide from

and

The Stages are as follows taken directly from the sources above:

"Classification – The differences between people are not respected. There’s a division of ‘us’ and ‘them’ which can be carried out using stereotypes, or excluding people who are perceived to be different.

Symbolisation – This is a visual manifestation of hatred. Jews in Nazi Europe were forced to wear yellow stars to show that they were ‘different’.

Discrimination – The dominant group denies civil rights or even citizenship to identified groups. The 1935 Nuremberg Laws stripped Jews of their German citizenship, made it illegal for them to do many jobs or to marry German non-Jews.

Dehumanisation – Those perceived as ‘different’ are treated with no form of human rights or personal dignity. During the Genocide against the Tutsi in Rwanda, Tutsis were referred to as ‘cockroaches’; the Nazis referred to Jews as ‘vermin’.

Organisation – Genocides are always planned. Regimes of hatred often train those who go on to carry out the destruction of a people.

Polarisation – Propaganda begins to be spread by hate groups. The Nazis used the newspaper Der Stürmer to spread and incite messages of hate about Jewish people.

Preparation – Perpetrators plan the genocide. They often use euphemisms such as the Nazis’ phrase ‘The Final Solution’ to cloak their intentions. They create fear of the victim group, building up armies and weapons.

Persecution – Victims are identified because of their ethnicity or religion and death lists are drawn up. People are sometimes segregated into ghettos, deported or starved and property is often expropriated. Genocidal massacres begin.

Extermination – The hate group murders their identified victims in a deliberate and systematic campaign of violence. Millions of lives have been destroyed or changed beyond recognition through genocide.

Denial – The perpetrators or later generations deny the existence of any crime."

Now, these ten stages don't need to be done in order, and all ten aren't required to classify a genocide. If you have all 10 present, you failed to stop it and it's either happening or over. Just ONE stage present is enough to claim it's genocide. Not all genocides are bloody, they can be quiet, slow, and unnoticeable to those not the targets of it.

In Palestine, you have all 10. It's happening. No one listened, no one cared, and now innocent blood is spilled that was 100% preventable. And we, the world, get to watch that failing in action. We're seeing a bloody genocide. A violent one.

With transgender people in many places in the world, the stages present are: Classification, Symbolization, Discrimination, Dehumanization, Organization, Polarization, and Preparation. Seven, out of ten. 7/10. 70% of the way there to "too late".

So why is the predesterone/predstogen/Avewy/Rita situation important? The US, where Tumblr makes it's office. Avewy is transgender. The US is solidifying the Discrimination stage, and depending on who's elected next, even sanctuary states could feel the full pressure of the federal government. Please note, it's bad enough in the states that certain ones are offering sanctuary from others. Avewy isn't a US citizen, yet despite reporting discrimination, has so far had her reports denied and been removed from the site. So have many other enbies, trans men, and trans women.

Now Tumblr isn't a government institution, however, genocide is as much a government act as it is a social one. And private institutions, companies, corporations, and people make it happen. So getting mad saying something to the effect of "Palestinians are dying and this Avewy issue is distracting from meaningful actions being taken to prevent this nex upcoming mass assault" is aiding in allowing the same thing to happen to another minority by paving the path up to the genocide stage of Denial. How do you think the Palestinian genocide came to be? People kept saying their issues weren't important enough, and denied that there was a problem. The ongoing genocide NEEDS TO BE STOPPED but not at the cost of allowing another genocide to continue to take place.

And if you haven't figured it out, this is why anti-discrimination laws exist. Any sign of inequality in a society, whether thats based on race, creed, religion, gender identity, sexual orientation, sex, disability, etc. is the starting sign of a possible genocide. This is why equality is so important. This is why Pride exists, this is why the racial equality movement is important, this is why people get on stage in protest and show up to rallies. Failure to uphold equality leads to erasure, and often to blood spilled. If you don't like that 70% of transgender people of all ages are at risk of suicide when not supported, or the higher rate of systemic violence towards people of colour and other minorities, then learn to recognize discrimination and speak up. Because failure to do so puts lives on the line, and we're all in this world together.

Free Palestine, Trans Rights Are Human Rights, Black Lives Matter, Stop the Genocide. All these statements can, should, and need to coexist on the same world stage. When ones in crisis, show up, because it only cascades and gets worse.

None of us are free unless all of us are.

#palestine #free palestine #stop the genocide #transgender #trans #trans rights are human rights #avewy #predestrogen #predesterone #talisidekick #talisidekick things #2slgbtqia+#lgbtqia+#lgbtq+#lgbt+

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