#cpd x reader

[oliberries]

I read some Criminal Minds fic about Hotch where the reader was... a little too into the interrogation thing. Nervous but not because they were guilty, but because hot damn. I think Prentiss had to stop the interrogation because she realized what was going on?

Anyways...

Chicago PD fandom. Fic writers. Please God give me that exact thing except Hank Voight. Please please please please. It'd be so much more intense. More manhandling.

#chicago pd #hank voight #sergeant hank voight #hank voight x reader #cpd #cpd fic #cpd x reader #PLEASE i crave the content. #BARK BARK BARK BARK WOOF

[chicago-pd-is-weird]

Jay Halstead x Fem!Reader

TW: main theme of eating disorders, reader has a panic attack

Requested by: @sorry-i-spaced

You walked into the bullpen, settling down at your desk for the day. You'd gotten there fairly early, early enough to be the only one there, aside from Adam. Seeing as he'd been having issues at home, he seemed to spend more and more time at work. You nodded to him. "Hey Adam, good morning."

"Morning, (Y/N)," he responded, humming as he looked up from the computer. "You're in early."

You shrugged. "I could say the same thing about you." You shook your head, getting logged on to the computer and working on some reports you had in your desk tray.

A few moments later, Adam scoffed at something on his computer, making your eyes jump up to him. He looked to you. "You see these new dieting trends?"

You took in a short breath, but shook your head, trying to play it off as you looked back down. "No, I don't follow that stuff."

Anymore.

Sometimes you missed it, in a way. You didn't miss the suffering, the growl of your empty belly, or the feeling of eating only lettuce for lunch. But you missed feeling skinny. You missed being able to fit in a size 2 pant and an XS tshirt. You missed getting compliments, people asking if you'd lost weight, and bonding with people over it. It was so unhealthy, and yet, you'd made multiple 'friends' that way.

"It says here a juice clense and intermittent fasting can help you lose twenty pounds within a month. That's insane!" Adam laughed.

"Yeah," you mumbled, trying to seem as disinterested as possible. You remembered all of your therapy techniquies, trying to calm yourself down and tune Adam out. He dropped it for a while, just scoffing at his computer every now and then as he seemed to deep-dive on some articles. Obviously, he had too much time on his hands. You wished Voight was there to assign the man some work.

An hour or so later, the others started to pile in. Hailey arrived and so did Antonio, the two of them chatting about boxing or something of the like. You hadn't really been paying attention, until Adam spoke up again. "Hey, guys, look what we found earlier."

We? No, not we. You.

You huffed, trying not to let Adam get to you. It was just a touchy subject. It wasn't his fault, he didn't know, but it hurt you nevertheless. You just wanted the conversation to be over.

"Juice clense and fasting?" Antonio shook his head. "Nah, they got it all wrong. If you're going to diet, you have to go Keto."

"Antonio, that's so 2009," Adam mocked, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, Laura was on it for a while," he shrugged. "I think she lost a few pounds, but she gave it up after a while. It's hard to just cut out certain things."

"How about we cut out this conversation?" You growled from your desk, not looking up. "Bad for your health."

"Yo, (Y/N), what's your problem?" Adam asked, all three of them looking to you. "Not like we're actually doing it. Just talking."

"Yeah, well, some people do it. It's not funny, either." You looked up with the hardest glare you could muster, hoping your eyes weren't glossed over with tears.

Hailey, who hadn't truly joined the conversation until now, looked to Adam. "She's right, you shouldn't even be looking at that stuff at work. They're all gossip articles." She shrugged and moved to her own desk to get busy. Anotnio went to his own desk too, leaving Adam alone with your glare.

Jay walked in just a moment after, looking around at the silence in the bullpen, then sitting at his own desk. Kim and Kevin soon followed suit, walking in and chatting about some new trend on TikTok. You ignored everyone, just keeping your head down and finishing your case reports. Then, you went to the bathroom. When you came back, you could hear Adam talking to Hailey about you, wondering what was the issue.

Since you'd been dating Jay, Hailey had become like a sister to you. Hailey was practically ignoring Adam's asks. "Come on, Hailey, what's her problem today? She's been grumpy since she came in. Jay? Did you not satify her last night or something?"

"That's enough, Adam," Hailey huffed, shaking her head. "I don't know what's going on, but it's obviously none of our business if she didn't tell us. Drop it."

"Adam, dude, shut up for once in your life," Jay chimed in, shaking his head. "Just let it be. If you pissed her off, she'll come talk to you later."

"Dude, what did I do? All I wanted was to make conversation," Adam huffed. "Why did she come in so early anyways, huh? Did you piss her off first and she's taking it out on me?"

Jay stood from his desk. "Alright, shut up right now, Ruzek, or I'll lay you out in the middle of the bullpen."

Adam stood from his desk, huffing. "Yeah, I'd like to see you try, Halstead."

"Alright, that's enough," Antonio said, standing himself. "I'll lay the both of you out on your asses if you don't both sit down and shut up." He shook his head. "Ruzek, why don't you go check on this?" Finally, someone had found Ruzek something to do. You thanked your lucky stars Antonio was there. He had always stood up for you, even if you weren't close friends. Antonio handed Adam a paper with about twenty names. "Take Kevin with you."

Kevin looked up. "Hey, what did I do to deserve that?"

"Nothing," Anotnio said with a shrug. "It's not a punishment for you. Just go, now."

The two men looked at one another, then left together down the stairs. You sighed in soft relief, still standing against the doorway back into the bullpen. You looked at the four people left, nodding as Hailey met your gaze. You sat back down at your desk as if nothing had happened. You were relieved not only to have some peace and quiet, but to have the instigator removed. Adam wasn't a bad guy, but he was definitely still immature, being practically the youngest on the team. He didn't know how to pick up on social cues the way Hailey or Antonio did. It was his biggest downfall.

Some time later, Voight came into the office, having been at a ComStat meeting all morning. He looked around, seeing the silence, then hummed as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "So, I'm two officers down and the rest of you are silent? What's going on?"

Antonio looked up. "I sent them out to drop anchor on some streets we suspect trafficking patterns run through. Do we have a case?"

"No," Voight said, humming and looking to you, Jay, Hailey, and Kim. "What about the rest of you?"

"Finishing some reports, Sarge," Jay said, motioning to the stack on his desk.

"I'm helping with that," Hailey confirmed.

"Filing," Kim said from the filing cabinets near Antonio.

"I just finished my reports a few mintures ago," you said with a shrug. "If there's anything I can help with, let me know."

Voight hummed, then nodded and walked through to his office, motioning Antonio with him. The two shut the office door and talked, but they couldn't be heard behind the wood and glass encasing Voight's desk. You hummed and moved over to Jay's desk. "Need another hand?"

Jay hummed. "No, I think we've got it." Kim moved past the two of you to hit the restroom, leaving you and Jay and Hailey in the bullpen alone. "You okay?" Jay asked softly. "Listen, I know with this morning and everything, and I don't know what Ruzek did but-"

"It's fine," you cut him off with a soft sigh. You hadn't wanted conversation, you'd wanted work.

"It doesn't seem fine," Jay protested, putting a gentle hand on yours. "And about this morning-"

"You wouldn't understand," you mumbled, pulling your hand away. You didn't want to talk about the morning or about Adam. You just wanted to distract yourself.

Jay thought for a moment, ready to protest before realization washed over his face. "Oh... Did Adam say something about your body?"

"No, no, he..." You sighed. "It's fine. It's all fine, Jay."

"He was talking about some new diet fads or something," Hailey chimed in softly, meeting Jay's eyes and giving him a look.

Jay nodded to Hailey, then looked back to you. "You sure you don't want to talk about it?"

You shook your head and went back to your desk, trying to work on your therapy techniques again, then left your desk to go to the locker room without a word.

-

"(Y/N)," Jay said softly, a soft hand placed on your cheek. He ran his thumb over your cheekbone, which was fairly prominent. You pulled away slightly.

"S-Stop, you'll ruin my makeup."

"You don't need the makeup or the diet. You are beautiful."

"You'll never understand, Jay. Society just doesn't treat men the same way." You sighed wiping the tears from your eyes as you pulled on the pants. You'd been trying to get into the size 0 pants for as long as you could remember, and it was frustrating you that you couldn't get them completely on or buttoned.

"This isn't healthy for you, (Y/N). You don't need to be a size 0 to earn my love."

You let out a scream of frustration when you couldn't pull the pants up all the way. "Fuck! I'm just not losing enough weight!"

"(Y/N), please, please listen to me," Jay begged, walking over and prying your hands off the jeans. "This isn't healthy. You're not healthy. Please, stop trying to be like this. I love you, and I always will no matter what. You could be a size 100 and I would still love you."

You clung to the jeans like they were your life force, but when Jay finally got your hands off them, you hit his chest, then clung to him, sinking into his arms and to the ground. He knelt with you, holding you tightly to his chest, stroking your hair and rocking you slowly.

"I hate myself..." you mumbled. "I hate my body... I'm not skinny enough..."

"That's not true," Jay whispered in reply. "Your body doesn't define who you are... Running ten miles a day and starving yourself isn't healthy. If you don't stop, you won't have a body to hate, and I won't have anyone to give my love to."

You sobbed into his shoulder, still clenching fistfulls of his shirt. Finally, he coaxed you out of the state you were in, took the pants off you, and helped you into some sweatpants that were a size 4, which were big on you at that point. He picked you up with concerning ease and took you to the living room, settling you down and kissing your face. A bit later, he brought in some food he'd made, some chicken and gravy and biscuts with vegetables mixed in. Then, he sat beside you and handed you a small plateful. As much as he wanted to give you a normal or even large portion, he knew it wouldn't be right. He knew you had to start small. "Here," he said softly. 
"You don't have to eat all of it, but can you please at least eat a few bites?"

You sighed, but nodded. Jay had been so gentle with you and never really frustrated. He hadn't seen how bad it was until you'd started dating a few weeks back. It hurt him to see you like this, you could see it in his eyes, but you didn't know any different. High school had ruined you, and you'd been spiraling out of control since then. You took a bite of the delicious food Jay had made. You had to force yourself to do it, but the smile that came to his face when you did was more than enough to get you to take another. You loved him, truly, and wanted to get better, for him.

-

You sighed as you sat in the locker room, trying to keep yourself from crying too loudly. It had gotten to you. You now wore a size 8, and were in a generally healthy state. Sometimes you'd forget to eat or skip meals because you were working, but Jay always made sure to catch you if that happened.

You were terrified now, because the fight that morning had really hurt you and then you'd taken it out on Adam. It wasn't his fault, but he had triggered a fight or flight within you. You swallowed hard and tried to breathe, feeling a panic attack coming on. You moved to the wall shakily and sat down, just in case you passed out. You tried to control your breathing, breaking out into sobs.

-

"(Y/N), it's been forever since we had a night out. Come on, let me take you out to a fancy restaurant or something."

"Jay, I hate fancy restaurants." You rolled your eyes with a small huff. "What's wrong with having a night in?"

"We just go to work and come home. We never go out together."

"We go to Molly's all the time. More than I'd like to. I'm practically an alcoholic because of you, and it makes me gain more weight." You huffed and turned from the counter to look at him. "I never drank before I met you. Now we're there like every other night. Sometimes more."

"Well, yeah, because we never go anywhere or do anything. I can't be cooped up all the time."

You shrugged. "Then go out and do things. I don't see the problem."

"The problem is I'm not doing them with you. I want to do things with you, (Y/N)."

“And you know I hate going out. People look at me funny.”

“No they don’t!” Jay raised his voice at you. “And even if they were, you know I’m here for you! I’d never let anyone get away with hurting you!”

“Jay!” You yelled, huffing again. “I’m too fat to ever look good going out! I don’t want to go to some fancy restaurant and wear a dress! My makeup never looks right and I look dumb!” You slammed down the plate with your toast on it, shaking your head. “Forget this! I can't eat breakfast in peace even if I wanted to!” You grabbed your jacket, badge and keys, leaving from Jay’s apartment, despite his protests and apologies. You ignored him, then left for the district, the only other place you felt safe outside of your own apartment.

-

You tried to breathe deeply, but it was so hard. Between your fight with Jay and the ordeal with Adam, you just wanted to shrink into a ball and disappear. You sobbed, trying to keep yourself quiet as you spiraled into your own mind and thoughts.

Suddenly, there was a hand gripping your arm. "Breathe, breathe, (Y/N)," came a familiar woman's voice. You looked up, seeing Hailey through your tears. "Breathe in, as deep as you can. Come on, I've got you."

You breathed in as deeply as possible, but it wasn't deep enough. You breathed out, but back in fairly quickly, trying to catch that deep breath you desparately needed.

"Good, good," Hailey cooed. "Good, (Y/N), breathe."

With Hailey's help, you calmed down within a few minutes. You were able to breathe again, although your head was spinning. You looked up at Hailey, who simply held you by the shoulders now. You sniffled and nodded to her. "Thanks..." you mumbled.

"(Y/N), I've never seen you like this. What's going on? What happened this morning?"

You swallowed hard, getting up with her help and steadying yourself. You sighed, shaking your head. "Jay and I... We're just different. I don't like to be around people, you know? Not in public or at fancy places. I just want to be with him or my friends, like you. People I know won't judge me..." You shrugged.

"Judge you for what?"

Tears came back to your eyes as you wrapped your arms around yourself. "For... For my body..." you mumbled.

"What do you mean, (Y/N)? None of us would judge you based on how you look."

"I-I was really bad for a while... Before I met Jay, and before he helped me get into intelligence... Before I met you..." You sighed shakily, looking to Hailey. "I just... I had a really bad disorder..."

Hailey seemed to understand a bit, nodding. "We would never think of you as anything less than what you are: smart, confident, beautiful. I know Jay feels that way, and so does everyone else in the unit."

"It's all fake," you mumbled.

"Fake it until you make it," Hailey replied with a hike of her shoulders. "Maybe you can compromise with Jay on this. He wants to go out, you want to stay in, maybe there's some kind of middle ground."

"Like what?"

She hummed, thinking for a moment before nodding. "I'll tell Jay what I'm thinking, and you give it a chance, okay?"

You looked to Hailey, skeptical of whatever it was, but nodded. "Alright..."

"And about Adam?"

You sighed. "I was... I was stressed from this morning with Jay and on top of that, he was talking about diet culture and... Those were the types of articles I read about in tabloids in high school... You know, the fads? I didn't... I couldn't listen to that. After this morning, I-I just wanted to leave and be safe, and then I felt attacked again, like temptation to go back to that place... I don't know... It just hit somewhere too close to my soul." You sighed. "I'll apologize when I see him next, I-I just couldn't take his constant talking this morning."

"Hey, we all have a hard time tolerating him on a regular basis, let alone with you going through something like this. You don't have to apologize; you were only defending yourself."

You shrugged again. "I was still mean. I'll apologize and just tell him it bothers me."

"Okay," Hailey said with a small nod. "Alright. Do you need another minute?"

"No, I'm good." You stood, wiping your face and then taking a deep breath.

.

Adam and Kevin came back in after lunchtime. You hadn't moved from your desk for lunch but, like most days, Jay had left with Hailey to get lunch and come back with a to-go container with a small meal in it. Jay walked in and set it on your desk, then leaned down and gave you a small kiss to your temple before returning to his desk without a word. You nodded a small thanks as you looked up at him, then your eyes returned to your paperwork. You typically did this, either ate in the office or not at all. You used to leave the office to eat in your car, but as you gained relationship with the team, you became more comfortable eating lunch around them.

After Jay came in and everything was settled, everyone went back to their respective "busy work," seeing as there just wasn't a case to handle that day. Even Sergeant Voight looked bored, eyes glazed over as he stared at the computer in his office.

You looked up to Adam, waiting for the right time. He looked up and caught your eyes, you silently nodding to him and getting up, moving toward the interrogation rooms. As you moved into the viewing room, Adam was on your heels. "Hey, look, (Y/N), what happened this morning-"

You shushed him, shaking your head with a soft sigh. "I wanted to apologize. I was very rude toward you. It's just that... Things... Things like that bother me. Stuff about eating and diet culture and that kind of stuff... I just don't like it, okay?"

Adam's eyes softened a little as he looked at you. "(Y/N), I'm sorry, I had no idea."

"I was taking my anger out on you this morning, and it wasn't right, and I am very sorry, Adam. Look, you're a good guy and I shouldn't have been so rude to you, no matter what I felt."

Adam nodded and put a soft hand on your shoulder. "I'm sorry too, I didn't realize it was making you upset. I need to do better with that stuff. I shouldn't have been talking about it, and I won't again. I understand now that it's a touchy subject for you. I didn't mean to upset you. Again, I'm sorry."

You nodded and offered a small smile. "I'm glad it's all okay now."

"Me too." He pulled you into a short embrace, squeezing you softly. "And hey, for what it's worth, you look nice today."

You laughed, snorting a little at his remark. "Is that all, Ruzek?" You punched his shoulder. "Get out of here."

He chuckled and put his hands up, walking backwards and out the door, back toward the bullpen. You took the chance to use the bathroom before going back as well, sitting at your desk and finishing up your tasks while eating your lunch.

-

When the day came to a close, you stood and grabbed your jacket, looking to Jay as he approached your desk. "Hey," he said softly, low enough that the others wouldn't be able to hear. "Let's get out of here. We'll make a stop at your place, then I want to take you somewhere."

You sighed a little at the thought, glancing to Hailey who smiled and nodded at you, then looking back to Jay. His puppy-dog eyes pleaded you to say yes. You finally nodded. "Alright. You can follow me home. I'll just park and change, then I'll be back out to meet you."

"Perfect, I'll stop at my place on the way to grab a few things and meet you there." Jay smiled softly, glad you'd agreed to it.

.

When you got into Jay's truck outside your house, you hummed. "So, what is Hailey's crazy plan this time?"

Jay smiled and shook his head. "It's a surprise. I can't tell you yet."

You looked to him. "You're not taking me anywhere fancy, are you? Cause I dressed in sweats for a reason."

He laughed, looking over at you and grabbing your hand. "I would take you anywhere in sweats. You're beautiful no matter what."

You couldn't help but smile, bringing his hand up to your mouth and kissing his knuckles. Despite your disagreements, you loved Jay with your whole heart. No argument, despite how much it affected you, would ever change the love you held for him. He pulled your hand toward him as he drove, reciprocating the kiss to your knuckles. You smiled again, moving across the center console to lean against him. You just wanted to be close to him, and you hoped wherever he was taking you would allow you to do that.

You rode beside Jay in gentle silence for a while as he finally turned into a fast food place. You furrowed your eyebrows, sitting up in your seat and looking up at him. "A fast food place?"

"This isn't our final stop, just stay here a second." He got out of the truck, leaving you inside. Truthfully, you were fine with being in the truck as opposed to inside the store, but you missed Jay's warmth sitting beside you. In his place, you turned on the heater and let the vents circulate hot air into the car. You hummed at the warmth, closing your eyes and leaning your head back. Jay came back about ten minutes later, a bag in hand. He set it in the back set before getting in and kissing your cheek. "Alright, ready?"

"Yeah," you replied, still soaking in the heat. Jay rolled down his window, allowing you to keep the heat on while he stayed a bit cooler. You didn't mind, as it also circulated in some fresh air. It was nearly fall, so the nights were getting cooler, but not cold yet.

Some time later, you noticed Jay had taken you to the outskirts of the city. He parked his truck at a local park, away from the hustle and bustle. You furrowed your brow as he turned off the truck, the heat leaving you. You looked to him for an explanation, but he didn't say anything. He simply smiled as he got out, moving to your side to help you out (which you didn't need, but it wasn't unwelcomed). He then helped you up onto the bed of the truck, following. He had a goofy grin on his face as he laid out several pillows and blankets, enough for the both of you to be comfortable and warm. Then, he grabbed the food from the cab and laid it out, helping you to sit down. "Ta-da," he said with a small grin.

You couldn't help but smile at his smile, shaking your head. "A truck bed dinner and cuddling?"

"This way, we're alone and can eat and lay here in peace, together, but we're also not at home."

You hummed. "Hailey is a genius."

He laughed and nodded. "Yeah, she's pretty great for coming up with this one. And best part is, we can go anywhere, so I'll never get tired of being in the same place, but you'll always be comfortable."

You smiled again, this time wider. "Yeah, this is perfect."

"I'm glad you think so." He motioned to dinner. "Now eat, and then we can lay back and watch the stars."

You scooched over to be closer to him, leaning into his side as you ate, humming. "It's perfect, Jay."

He rubbed your back, kissing the top of your head. "Anything for you, beautiful."

#chicago pd #x reader #fanfiction requests #chicagopd #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead #detective jay halstead #cpd

[musntbill]

Hank Voight x Fem!Reader

(TW: Some violence and implied sexual abuse/[worse], but nothing explicitly said)

Hank’s eyes surveyed the crime scene. A murder, of someone quite important to the mayoral candidate. This was a high-visibility case, which Hank hated. That meant more people telling him how to do his job.

Hank crouched beside the body, the body of a young girl who had been practically mutilated. Tortured in all of the worst ways. Hank could only imagine what her last moments must have felt like. Something nobody should experience. Something he promised himself he would make the culprit experience, one way or another.

His eyes moved up as he stood, listening to Antonio telling him about the case. “We have no witnesses, apparently. At least, none who are willing to talk.”

Hank huffed in protest. “She was dumped in the middle of the street. Someone has to know something.”

“They won’t cooperate,” Antonio replied, shaking his head as he put his notebook and pen away. “Damn shame, too.” He then walked away to talk to some of the other officers.

Hank looked out over the crowd of people behind the yellow tape. They were watching and chattering amongst themselves, all except one woman. She stood there, facing Sergeant Voight, arms wrapped around herself. She had her hood up, hair blowing in the breeze to cover part of her face. As Hank looked at her, they locked eyes. She seemed to curl into herself as she moved backward, disappearing into the crowd. Hank hummed, musing to himself over the woman and her behavior as he looked over the crowd in an attempt to find her. When he found the effort to be futile, he moved away from the scene in the opposite direction, getting into his car and heading to the district.

— —

The case dragged on, dead end evidence everywhere they looked. Without a witness to put the criminal at the scene, all they had was circumstantial at best. Hank rubbed his forehead with one hand, taking in a deep breath as he poured over the paperwork again. It didn’t help that the folks in the ivory tower were breathing down his neck, watching his every move.

The bullpen was empty, as everyone else had gone home for the night. Hank knew he should leave too, but he needed answers. He needed to find the killer.

“Hank,” came a familiar voice. Strong but gentle, he knew it to be Trudy. He didn’t look up to meet her eyes, simply grunting in response. “Hank,” she insisted.

He sighed, looking up from the files to look at his friend and coworker, only to see a woman beside her, the same woman from the crime scene. She had her hair in front of her face, but her hood was down this time. She still curled into herself, as if at any moment she would be attacked. Hank stood to greet her, looking her over. “You were at the scene.”

“Then you know why I’m here,” the woman replied. “I’m (Y/N).” She reached out to shake his hand.

“(Y/N),” he repeated. “Sergeant Hank Voight.”

“I know,” she replied softly, Trudy nodding to Hank and leaving as (Y/N) sat down across from his desk. “You were there the night Emilia was murdered.”

“Did you know Emilia?”

“Yes. I was her babysitter, back when she was younger. We grew close in the last few years. I just graduated college.”

Hank hummed as he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms to listen to the girl in front of him. “And?”

“And…” She sighed heavily, rubbing her arms. “I saw them murder her. They said if I talked…” She looked away, flashing back to the terrible memory that had kept her awake.

“Please, please!” She begged, crying and kneeling before the two men who had just mutilated her friend. “Please, please don’t kill me, please! I-I’m a nobody! I don’t have family!”

“Kill the bitch!” The first man said, obviously in a rush, since they’d left Emilia’s body in the street.

“Andy, she’s begging for her life! Let’s just get out of here.”

Andy growled, grabbing (Y/N) by the collar. “If you go to the cops, speak to the cops, or call the cops, you know what I’ll do to you? Huh? I’ll tie you down and cut out your tongue. Then, I’ll do all those nasty things to you that you see in the movies. I’ll make you suffer, more than your friend.”

“(Y/N)?” Hank had since stood, putting a hand on her shoulder and leaning down to her. “What did they say?”

“They said… They’d cut out my tongue… Do horrible things… Then make me suffer, more than Emilia did.” She took in a ragged breath, looking up at Hank.

Finally, he could see the light on her face, her hair moving back to reveal a black eye. Hank tucked her hair behind her ear, gently pressing his fingers to her chin, maneuvering her face so he could see better. “Did they do this to you?”

“Last night, when I was at home, they came in and threatened me again. They said the cops were getting close, and said that if I talked, I was dead.” She swallowed hard, tear welling in her eyes as she looked up at Hank. “They hit me and… And then they left.”

“Is that all they did?”

She swallowed hard, moving back from his grip and looking down, letting her hair fall back into her face. Silence washed over the both of them, (Y/N) pulling tighter into herself, clinging for life as she re-lived the night before.

Hank let out a soft breath, then crouched in front of her. “Hey… You did the right thing,” he reassured her, a tender hand on her leg, the other resting on her arm. “I’ll take care of you.”

She sniffled and took in a deep breath, nodding. “I know your reputation on the street. I asked around about you. If you give me your word… if you promised to protect me… I would believe you.” She looked up a bit, her eyes meeting his.

Hank nodded in response, looking up into her eyes. “I promise.”

#hank voight #hank voight x reader #jason beghe #sergeant hank voight #cpd #chicago pd

[royaltysuite]

Just started watching Season 11 of Chicago P.D. and I'm still simping for my mans, Hank Voight and Dante Torres!

I need a cold shower.............and a bottle of wine🥵🥴🥹

#x reader #royaltysuite #x chubby reader #hank voight chicago pd #chicago pd x reader #dante torres x reader #dante torres cpd #hank voight cpd #hank voight x reader #dante torres chicago pd

[emiewritesthings]

ransom (pt1) ☆ jay halstead

Summary: In which Y/n is kidnapped and the unit receive an atypical ransom video

warnings: language

authors note: this was just a short funny imagine inspired from the tik tok @/billy978 that’s been in my drafts for a while now. hope you enjoy!

PART TWO

“Wait, I think the kidnappers just sent us a video.” Mouse mumbled as his fingers continued to violently slap against his laptop’s keyboard, tongue slightly poked out in concentration. Jay was the first to immediately jump for him to play it. His hands gripping the back of his best friend’s chair as Kevin pulled the monitor to the front of the group that had formed upon hearing the news. They all were insanely worried for the missing member of their team, although they had been working on it so hard they had had little time to let themselves break down quite yet.

“Play it.” Voight instructed. Understanding the order, Mouse nodded his head before clicking on something and suddenly they were all met with a bloody and bruised Y/n on the bigger screen. Jay heard Kim besides him take a quick intake of breath, noticing that her best friend’s condition wasn’t the best. Mouse pressed another button and suddenly the video was playing.

“Hello my name is Y/n and I have been kidnapped- Can you stop pointing that fucking gun at me? You are making me nervous!” Y/n snapped, her eyes darting to the left where an assumed kidnapper was standing. The entire room seemed to freeze as their expectations of seeing an emotionally defeated Y/n was abandoned, as they watched the woman that had been through hell and back shouting at her captors. Jay could read Y/n like a book for kindergarteners, and whilst he had first thought maybe it was the adrenaline talking or a plan to hide her fear, he detected that Y/n was in no such state.

“To ensure my safe return home please pay us one million d- one million dollars? Is that it? Is that what you think I’m worth? I’m not having that…” She mumbled, glaring at the man that stood to her right before directing her eyes back to the camera and smiling. “To ensure my safe return please pay us five hundred million dollars… that’s more like it.”

Adam was soon doubled over in laughter causing the video to be paused as he tried to control his amusement. The unit all looked at one another, as they tried to decode what exactly they were looking at.

“Is she trying to get killed?” Kevin asked, looking more at Jay to answer the question knowing he knew the endangered woman more than anyone in the room. Running his hands over his face, Jay let out a sigh, unsure whether he should be angry or amused at his girlfriend’s behaviour.

“Knowing Y/n…” He started, thinking about his answer carefully. “Probably.” Kim hummed in agreement knowing how the woman enjoyed getting under criminals’ skin, although she’d never imagined she’d do such a thing in this kind of situation.

“Let’s keep watching.” Voight mumbled. Heads turned back to the video as it resumed.

“Honestly this place is such a shit hole. You fellas have money for all these fancy big guns, but can’t afford a vacuum, huh?” Tilting her head, mocking the large men that stood around her with their guns pointed at her, the woman quite literally smirked, not afraid of them or their weapons. “Well you don’t happen to have a hairbrush do you, don’t worry I am not talking to you, baldy,” Winking at the third and final man, Y/n looked to who she assumed was the leader. “Maybe some lip gloss or mascara? You see my boyfriend - you know the hot detective I was telling you fellas about - is going to watch this ransom video and I’d prefer not to look like utter shit.” Leaning forward, she seemed to use what little reflection she could make out in the lens of the camera as a mirror, attempting to flatten her hair and get rid of some dirt from her face.

“Holy sh- She’s insane.” Kim whispered towards Jay, who couldn’t take his eyes off the screen but nodded his head in agreement. As crazy as she may be, he still loved her all the same. Jay felt a small smile try to surface, but he pushed it down upon realizing it probably wasn’t the right time when everyone seemed worried or deeply concerned for Y/n’s wellbeing.

“You have 24 hours to make this payment or else I die- Wait, what? Fuck off. Are you guys taking the piss?” Looking around, not seeing any humour or amusement on any of the men’s faces, Y/n’s narrowed eyes relaxed along with her body in the chair she was aggressively tied to. “Wow.” She breathed out, still not appearing to be bothered by the way this was escalating. “And to think I thought we were becoming fr-.” The video soon cut off and went to just a black screen signaling the end of the video.

The unit stood there in silence for what felt like a good five minutes trying to process what they had just watched. Voight's face seemed stoic as always, whilst Adam and Kevin were arguing which was the funniest part - which had to be a first in ransom video history.

“Mouse, I want you to analyse every second of the video. See if there are any clues to where they are keeping her.” Voight pointed at the man that nodded in obedience, before the sergeant moved to look at the rest of his subordinates. “The rest of you, keep working. I don’t want anyone leaving until we’ve located her. Okay?” Everyone nodded.

Voight disappeared back in to his office, as the rest of them returned to their desks aware that as amusing as the video had been, one of their own was still out there somewhere in imminent danger. 

“I bet 20 bucks she gets shot before the 24 hours is up.” Adam spoke up after a good ten minutes of silence. His eyes pin balling around the room to see Kevin, Kim and Jay sat in silence watching him with incredulous eyes.

“Bro.” Kevin scolded. 

“It’s what we are all thinking!” Adam argued, but everyone had busied themselves again. Leaving the grown man to grumble as he fell back into his chair.

#jay halstead #Jay #Halstead #kevin #kevin atwater #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead fanfiction #jay halstead x reader #CPD #chicago police #Chicago PD #One Chicago #onechicago #hank voight #kimburgess #Adam Ruzek

[amsgrey]

sick days

requested: yes

What sick days are like with Jay and Will.

I wrote this completely forgetting that Covid has the same symptoms and stuff so let's just know that it's not covid. I don't want to say we'll pretend that it isn't a thing because that is extremely ignorant.

Not proofread, so apologies for that.

It took you and your brothers almost two years to get into a steady routine with you and school. After you started high school, it was easier for you to go home after school than to be picked up, but every Friday they would pick you up. It was nice to have a guaranteed afternoon to spend with one of them knowing their busy schedules.

The routine you all established went like this, every morning Jay or Hailey would drop you at school (provided they weren't called in) and on Monday through Wednesday Will would pick you up and take you home or to the precinct. Thursdays and Fridays you'd catch the bus home or to one of your brother's works to bother them. The three of you fell into the routine and stuck to it, the only times it was ever disturbed was when Jay went undercover or Will had to pick up extra shifts. You enjoyed the routine you had set up, it meant that you got to spend time with both of your brothers regularly.

The last few weeks the routine had been abandoned, something about schedule changes at Med and a big case that involved Jay and Hailey working a lot of overtime. That meant you were getting yourself to and from school, which didn't bother you one bit. You tried to stop by Med or the precinct every now and again, bringing them cookies or leaving your brother's stupid notes just so they knew you were okay.

You'd dropped by Med and stashed cookies in the doctor's lounge, Maggie had told you Will had taken a patient upstairs. You could wait to see him but you knew not to bother him when the ED was so busy. You scribbled out a note, 'For the hard-working Doctors and Nurses at Med, except you Will :)', sticking it on the top of the container and giggling as you left. An hour or so later you got a text from Will, Thanks for the crap I got from your note.

Oh, you are very welcome. You replied.

A couple days later you started to feel exhausted, you knew straight away that you were getting sick but in true Halstead fashion you ignored it. You figured you didn't have a fever so you would be fine, going to school even though you knew better. You got halfway through third period before your friend convinced you to go to the nurse. The nurse had taken one look and said you should go home and take the rest of the week off. You groaned, nodding and accepting defeat. The nurse had let you sign out and go home, you'd lied about your brother coming to get you. They were too busy to drop everything just because you had a little cough. So you forced yourself to walk to the subway, get on your train and go home.

When you got through the door, you didn't make it to your room. You just face-planted into the couch and let your body rest. You didn't even have the energy to shrug off your coat, just curling up on the couch and 'resting' your eyes.

You woke up to a hand on your shoulder, Jay was hovering in front of you with a slight frown.

"Y/N?" He said quietly, gently pressing his hand to your forehead. You groaned, pulling away and pressing back into the cushions to get away from him.

Jay sighed, he knelt in front of you and said, "Your school called, why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well?"

You waved him off, "I didn't want to bother you."

Jay shuckled, "You know that's a bad excuse,"

You laughed, cutting yourself off in a fit of coughs. Jay helped you sit up, rubbing your back as you coughed. As you were sitting up, Jay helped you shrug off the coat that you had fallen asleep in. When the coat was off, you immediately complained about being cold.

"I'll get you a blanket," Jay replied, forcing you to lie back down. He disappeared into your room and returned with your duvet crumpled into his arms. He dramatically shook it out and fluffed it over you, tucking you in like he did when you were a toddler. You rolled your eyes, pouting and pretending to be upset at his coddling. Once Jay was sure you were sufficiently wrapped up, he pulled out his phone and called someone.

You watched him pace, realizing that he was calling in the big guns.

"Nooo," You protested, "Don't call Will."

Jay smirked, "Too late." He immediately relayed the situation to Will, asking what he should do. You sulked on the couch, grumbling about how you weren't sick enough for Will to be involved.

Jay and Will spoke on the phone for a few minutes before Jay hung up and returned to your side.

"Will's going to come over, I have to go back to the district." He looked sorry, you knew he wanted to stay, "After work, I'll pick up some of your favourite noodle soup?"

You smiled, "that sounds good."

Jay nodded, he pressed a kiss to your forehead and told you to take it easy until Will came. He left quietly, letting you curl up on the couch and try sleep. When you were left alone in the silence again, you weren't at all tired. As you were laying, useless, on the couch you realised why you hated being sick so much. Being unable to do anything drove you insane.

You didn't ponder on it long before Will was barging through the door, hollering a greeting.

You groaned, "Speak quieter," you hissed out, covering your face with your duvet to hide from him.

You heard his footsteps getting closer, he peeled back the blanket and smiled softly.

"How you feeling, squirt?"

You let out a dramatic sigh, shaking your head.

Will gave you a pitiful look, and he gestured for you to sit up. You let another big sigh, pretending to be extremely inconvenienced by his order.

"Alright, melodrama, calm down," Will joked, sitting behind you so he could doctor you. As he grabbed his stethoscope from his bag, you couldn't help the big yawn that escaped you. Will chuckled at you as you blinked back the tears your yawn brought up. He pressed his palm to your forehead, tutting about a fever in doctor-y language.

He ordered you to take some deep breaths while he listened to breathing. He apologised about having to press the stethoscope on your back.

"Is cold," You grumbled, unable to avoid the shivers that went up your spine.

"Sorry," Will replied, pulling away and then helping you lie back down. He tucked the duvet back over you like Jay did, taking extra care to press the covers under your chin and smiling at your tired gaze.

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, handing over the TV remote so that you could do something while laying uselessly on the couch. He disappeared into the kitchen, rummaging through the drawers and cupboards. He returned to your side with a glass of water and Advil, placing the medication in your hand and hovering until you swallowed them and had a drink of the water.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Will asked, unsure of what else to do.

You nodded, you sat up and pointed at the couch, making Will sit down so you could rest your head on his lap. Will fluffed a pillow so you would be more comfortable.

"You're so warm," You told your brother, unable to hold back the sleepiness that was now clouding over you.

That was how Jay found the two of you when he got home. You passed out asleep, almost completely hidden by the duvet you held onto, Will gently smoothing your hair like your mother did to him when he was young.

Jay left the soup he picked up on the kitchen counter, walking over to the two of you and greeting Will.

"She feeling any better?"

Will smiled, watching you sniffle in your sleep, "No, she probably has a virus. She'll need to rest for a while but she'll feel better by the end of the week."

Jay nodded, "Do we wake her for food or..?"

Will looked down at you sleeping peacefully, "Yeah, she hasn't eaten anything yet."

Jay disappeared back to the kitchen to grab the food and put it in a bowl. Will gently put his hand on your shoulder, trying to wake you up slowly.

You woke with a fright, staring at Will with wide eyes.

"Sorry," Will muttered, he helped you sit up and then fluffed the blanket around your legs. "How are you feeling?"

You stifle a yawn, "Sick."

Jay laughed as he came over with the soup, "Maybe this would help."

You forced a smile, taking the bowl in your hands. Staring at the food, you realized how you weren't even hungry. You took a few spoonfuls to make your brothers feel better and then put the bowl down.

"Can I go to bed now?"

Jay nodded, "Of course, kiddo."

Will took the bowl and put it in the kitchen while Jay carried your duvet back to your room. You stumbled along behind him, yawning and rubbing your eyes with the back of your hand. Will came over when he was done in the kitchen, he wrapped an arm around your shoulders to steady you as you walked. When you got to your room, you climbed under the sheets and Jay and Will dramatically billowed the duvet. It made you smile as you remembered all the times they pretended it was the ocean when you were little.

When they were done billowing the blankets they tucked you in and laughed when you smacked their hands away. Will pressed his hand to your forehead, commenting on how you still had a fever.

You yawned again, "Can you two sit?"

Jay dramatically flopped on the bed, pretending he was settling in for a story.

"I'll get you sick, you big sop," you poked Jays cheek.

Jay shrugged.

You rolled your eyes, "Do you remember when I was little after mom died, you would stay with me until I fell asleep."

"And you would snore like dad?" Will answered.

"I did not."

"You did," Jay laughed, "Real bad."

You crossed your arms dramatically, pouting as your brothers laughed at you. They stopped when you started coughing and struggled to stop.

When you did, you took a deep breath and then yawned yet again.

Will smiled as you got more and more tired, "We'll stay until you fall asleep."

You grinned, "Yay," You gently shook your hands like you were cheering.

Will chuckled, he got up to turn off the lights but left your bedside lamp on. He sat back on the bed, making sure the blankets were covering your feet. As you slowly drifted to sleep you realized just how lucky you were to have two big brothers who cared about you and loved you enough to sit with you while you fell asleep.

#chicago pd imagine #chicago med #cpd #chicago med imagine #chicago med x reader #chicago pd x reader #will halstead x sister!reader #will halstead x reader #will halstead #jay halstead x sister!reader #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead #jay halstead x reader #halstead sister #halstead!reader #halstead!sister

[sevcasejay1chicago]

@gengirlstuff put in a request a few weeks ago for a teen sister!Casey fic. Thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoy!!!!

Not Elsa Afterall- TeenSister!Casey

Summary: During a snow day, you end up at the firehouse with your brother and extended family. After being led into a trap, you become hypothermic and your family has to try and save you.

Warnings: some language, mentions of past abuse (in a way), PTSD, claustrophobia, hypothermia

~~~~~~~~~~~

Some would say your childhood was unconventional at best, but you couldn’t have asked for a better one. Since you can remember, Matt Casey, your older brother, has taken care of you and so has the whole of firehouse 51. Since Matt and Kelly are such good friends, Kelly was named your godfather and Stella Kidd your godmother. Matt would entrust you with almost anyone in the house, but even after everything, Kelly and Stella are the only people he would want you to go to if anything happened to him.

Since it’s a snow day, you had to go to the firehouse with Matt. Not that you ever minded, even at the age of 15 you still get spoiled by all of your aunts and uncles. Cap and Tony are your prank buddies, which normally ends in a war against Hermann, Mouch, and Cruz. Violet, Stella, and Sylvie always make sure to spend some sort of girl time with you when you are at the firehouse, even though they are always doing girl trips and girl nights with you off shift. When Truck is gone, it’s an unspoken rule that either Kelly, Hermann, or Boden is in charge of you. If everyone has to leave the house at the same time, which didn’t happen often, you had to ride along, but you never got out at a site unless absolutely necessary. Most of the time, when there is nothing going on, you can be found lounging in one of the officers’ quarters. More likely than not, you are with Kelly playing “firecop”. You have thought about being a detective when you grow up, given the great relationship you now have with all of Intelligence and Trudy Platt, but when you grow up in a firehouse, you almost always follow in your family’s footsteps.

So far, nothing interesting has happened. A few black ice accidents and ambo calls, but nothing that required more than one or two units to leave the house at a time. Within the first 6 hours, you have pulled a couple pranks and watched Frozen just to sing the adult parody of Let It Go for Cap and Tony. You had just turned in for a nap in Kelly’s quarters when the tones went off.

“Truck 81, Squad 3, Engine 51, Ambo 61, Battalion 25. Warehouse fire at 6391 Daphne Drive.”

Kelly chuckled as you groaned, waiting for you to leave his quarters before running behind you. “Don’t worry kid. You can catch a few winks in the rig. I’ll have Cruz leave the truck running for you.” Kelly said, patting you on the shoulder and throwing you the extra bunker coat they leave out for you just incase.

“Thanks Sev.” You muttered, catching the coat in your arms before jumping into the rig behind Tony. You bundled up next to the window as Cruz sped behind Stella with the rest of the firehouse following behind. You tuned out the conversations happening around you and slipped in your headphones, turning the rest of your attention to the scenery.

Arriving at the scene, you took out your headphones as you listened to the rest of the guys chat. You were in the middle of nowhere. No smoke could be seen and no cars were in sight. It didn’t look like anyone has been out this way in a while.

“Well guys, get ready for anything. We will go in and do a sweep and then leave if it’s a false alarm.” Kelly said to the rest of the truck. “Princess, you stay put and stay warm. Keep an eye out.” Kelly said as the truck parked, turning around again to open his door and hop out.

Matt came and opened your door. “This shouldn’t take long. Stay here, okay?” Matt said, climbing up and placing his truck jacket on your lap.

You nodded and leaned your head back as you shoved your headphones back in. Music was your only choice seeing as you had no bars out this far. You were pretty surprised that the unit could be called out this far from the house, but you just went where you were told.

After about 30 minutes, you started getting an uneasy feeling. Everyone was inside and they should have been back by now. Using the limited training that squad has taught you, you jumped into the drivers seat to turn the rig off before going to the side compartment that held the spare gear. As you made your way to the compartment, you slipped and fell into a puddle that the engine melted, soaking your entire back and the back of your legs. You quickly shrugged it off and stood to grab your gear, more concerned about your family than how wet your clothes were or the faint ache in your head from it hitting the wet ground. If this was a gas leak or they were knocked out somehow, you needed to keep yourself safe and get inside to your family. Masking up outside the door, you shrugged on the spare bunker jacket and air tank before placing the mask over your head and walking in.

After walking through the first set of doors, you reached the second and opened the door to find a huge empty room. Looking around, you saw another door at the far edge of the room and cautiously walked towards it. As soon as you opened it, Kelly and Matt stumbled through.

“Oh my God. What happened?” You asked, grabbing onto Matt by the shoulders.

“The doors. It’s a trap. Go back and try that door!” Matt panted, exhausted from the exertion of trying to help Kelly pry open the door. The rest of the crew wandered back into the big room and followed you.

You pushed the door only to find it locked. “Matt.” You yelled, throwing your body into the door. “It won’t open!” You screamed, becoming frantic. You were all stuck in this big room. There was nothing but the people of firehouse 51 and you. The walls and floor were pure concrete and there was only a ventilation shaft on the top of the 20 foot ceiling. It had to lead to the outside because it was extremely cold.

“Hey hey hey. Breathe.” Kelly said, coming and grabbing you by the shoulders. “In and out.”

You have always had a fear of enclosed spaces. Recently, thanks to Dr. Charles, you found out that your mom locked you in a closest when she killed your dad. Matt found you later on during the day, thankful that it seemed that you were completely unaware of anything but that fact that you were tired, hungry, dirty, and scared. Though this room was much bigger, you were trapped once again.

You shook as Kelly handed you off to Matt. You cling to your brother as the rest of the group tried to figure a way out. “M-Matt. I’m s-so sorry.” You whimpered, burying your face into your brother’s chest.

Matt sighed and rubbed your back, swaying back and forth with you in his arms. “Hey now. None of that. You didn’t know.” Matt hummed, kissing the top of your head. “It’ll be fine. Once we are gone for long enough, someone will come looking. Until then, we are all here.” Matt whispered, opening his coat and pulling you in.

You were freezing. The bunker coat was decent at keeping the freezing air out, but unlike the rest of the house, you didn’t have on bunker pants or thick layers of clothing underneath the coat you were wearing. All you had on under the bunker coat was a pair of leggings and a long sleeved CFD shirt.

Kelly noticed you quacking in Matt’s arms and immediately took off his beanie, pulling it onto your head. “That’ll hold in some heat.” He said, standing closer to you and Matt to help provide some body heat.

“T-thanks.” You whispered, leaning back toward Kelly and pulling Matt along with you. Your panic jump started your shivering, and it didn’t seem to stop.

As you leaned back into Kelly, your wet hair made contact with his neck. “Jesus! Why are you wet?” Kelly asked, stepping back to grab your hair and wring out the water before tucking it into his beanie.

“I slipped. Fell I-into a p-puddle trying to s-s-save you g-guys.” You stuttered out, pulling yourself even closer to Matt.

“Wait. Let me get this straight.” Matt said, pulling you to arms length. “Under that coat you are soaking wet. In the middle of winter. And we are stuck in a freezing room.” Matt broke it down, looking between you and Kelly as he spoke.

You nodded. “Yep.” You replied, popping the p.

“Fuck.” Kelly muttered from behind you.

“Alright everyone. Listen up.” Boden yelled, catching everyone’s attention after he had a little time to think. “This was obviously a trap. We have no contact with the outside world, but dispatch led us here. Theoretically, someone should be coming to look for us pretty soon. It’s been about 45 minutes since we landed on scene and Kylie is still in the bullpen. So, everyone huddle up and stay warm until CPD arrives or whoever they send out for us.” Boden announced.

Everyone quickly huddled up, finding themselves in little groups that eventually morphed into everyone in the middle of the room. Matt, Kelly, Boden, Stella, Cruz, Violet, and Sylvie found themselves in the middle of the huddle with you straddling your brother’s lap in an attempt to get as close as possible. Matt and Cruz were sat back to back for support as you placed yourself practically in Matt’s coat for his body heat. Kelly and Stella shared a coat so that Kelly’s Jacket could be given to the paramedics since they only had on their winter coats. After another 30 minutes went by, they realized they had a bigger problem. You were quickly becoming hypothermic.

“M-matty. ‘M s-sleepy.” You slurred, burying your cold nose into your brother’s neck.

Matt and Kelly were instantly on high alert. You haven’t called Matt that in years. Not since you were at least 9. “Hey. I need you to stay awake. Okay? Stay with me.” Matt cooed, trying not to sound too desperate so that he wouldn’t scare you, but enough to keep you awake.

“Jus a quick n-nap. M’ head h-hurts.” You muttered, fumbling to get closer to your brother.

“No no no. Not yet. Just wait until we can get you out of here.” Matt said, pushing you slightly away as Kelly leaned over and checked your pulse.

“Matt, her pulse is slow.” Kelly whispered.

“Okay. Okay. Let me think.” Matt muttered, looking around.

Kelly was quicker. “Hang on. I have an idea. It’ll be a little awkward, but anything for her, right?” Kelly asked, looking Matt in the eyes.

Matt nodded. “Anything.”

Kelly moved quickly after that. He wrapped Stella up in her own bunker coat after taking yours. Kelly scooted as close to you as he could, hugging you from behind. Matt caught on quickly and hugged you close to his chest. Matt’s head was on one side of your head with Kelly on the other. The two bunker coats were pulled around your bodies. Everyone knew what was going on and was quick to huddle in, trying their best to create more body heat as you began slowly slipping in and out of consciousness.

After 2 hours in the 20 degree room, the Intelligence unit broke through the door. They had received some threatening messages the last few days against the CFD, but when they heard from Kylie that 51 went AWOL, they knew this had to be the work of whoever was making those threats. They moved as quickly as the could, bursting in just as you began to slip completely unconscious.

“5021 George. Missing are located. I repeat missing are located. One critical. Rolling the Ambo on sight. Close off all streets from here to Med.” Jay yells into his radio as he sees Kelly helping Matt get up with you limp in his arms.

Sylvie and Violet are already running for the ambo with Matt, Kelly, Stella, and Jay not far behind. You hang limp in your brother’s arms as he and Kelly call out to you, begging you to stay with them. Doors are held open and a path is quickly made to the ambo. Kelly helps Sylvie treat you as Violet speeds behind Jay, who is leading the escort for you to med.

“I’m barely getting a pulse. She isn’t protecting her airway. I have to intubate.” Sylvie yells, causing Violet to tell the same thing into her radio as Kelly grabs more trauma blankets and wraps you up in them. Once your intubated, Sylvie takes out her phone. “Mags. It’s Sylvie. I have Y/N Casey. She’s severely hypothermic. Not protecting her airway, weak pulse, temp of 94 and not rising with trauma blankets. You guys need to prep for her.” Sylvie instructed, letting Kelly take over bagging you so that she could check your airways. “She was soaking wet and possibly hit her head. We will need to cut off her clothes on arrival. Warm saline and blankets should do it once these clothes are off.” Sylvie replies to whatever Maggie was telling her. “ETA is 3 minutes” then she hangs up.

“Sylvie.” Matt pleas, looking at his girlfriend.

“We’ve got her Matt. Just a bit longer.” Sylvie placates, shooting him a small smile as she takes the bag back from Kelly.

Upon arrival to Med, Maggie and Conner throw the ambulance doors open and immediately help Sylvie and Kelly unload you. They quickly do as Brett previously instructed, running a few extra tests on you once the IV is placed, and then they leave Matt and Kelly alone with you.

“She’s gonna be alright man.” Kelly reassures, holding your hand on the opposite side of the bed that Matt is on. Kelly doesn’t look up, not able to bare the look of fear and guilt in Matt’s eyes.

“She should’ve stayed at the house. She’s old enough to be at the firehouse alone, plus Kylie was there and they could’ve just hung out.” Matt sighed, running a hand down his face. “She wouldn’t be in this situation if it wasn’t for me.” Matt sniffed, keeping hold of your hand.

Suddenly, you squeezed both your hands as your heart rate spiked and your eyes flew open. If it hadn’t have been for Kelly and Matt keeping your hands in theirs, you would have yanked your tube out.

“Sh Sh Sh. Sweetheart. It’s alright. Hang on.” Matt muttered, using a hand to pull your face to look toward him.

Kelly let go of your hand once Matt had your attention and met Maggie at the door. “She’s awake!” He exclaimed, catching the attention of Jay, Will, and Conner who were all talking behind the desk about what happened.

Conner ran in as Maggie silenced the machines. “She’s over breathing the tubes. Let me get that out. Hand on sweetie.” Conner soothed, pushing past Kelly and rushing to your side.

Maggie held a basin under your chin once Matt moved to the head of your bed. They all knew of your sensitive gag reflex, so this really wouldn’t be fun. “Deep breath.” Maggie instructed. Conner was quick to pull the tubing out and stepped back as you dry heaved over the basin Maggie held for you.

Will came up to Conner’s empty spot and rubbed your back as Maggie handed the basin to Matt so that he could get closer. “Breathe sweetheart. Just take some slow deep breaths.” Will coached, taking the cup of water from Kelly when you finally calmed down and held the straw for you to sip. “There you go. That’s it.” Will soothed, nodding at Matt to put the basin away.

Once you were calm, Jay, Will, Conner, and Maggie all filed out of the room. Jay promised to give the house an update as he walked away, kissing you on the cheek. Kelly and Matt settled on either side of you again, Matt moving into the bed with you.

“God. You scared the hell out of me.” Matt muttered, pulling you into his side.

“What even happened?” You asked, looking between the eyes of your scared godfather and brother.

“Well, we were trapped. You got stuck with us, but before coming in, you slipped and hit your head in a puddle. You were soaking wet and went hypothermic on us.” Kelly explained, rubbing his face and sitting back as he watched your reaction.

Your eyes went wide. “Holy shit.”

“Language.” Matt scolded lightly, using your favorite marvel character’s word against you.

You chuckled, snuggling into Matt. “Guess I’m not Elsa after all. The cold does bother me.” You joked, causing Matt and Kelly to laugh.

“Too soon.” Matt said, though he was still chuckling.

“Definitely too soon.” Kelly agreed. “I’m gonna go get Boden and Stella. They were raising hell trying to get in here earlier.” He said, getting up and kissing the top of your head. “I’m glad your okay. Love you princess.”

“Love you too Uncle Kelly.” You beamed, snuggling closer to your brother as you both watched him leave to gather the rest of your family.

#one chicago #jay halstead #matt casey #kelly severide #fluff #one chicago x reader #comfort #hypothermia #TeenSister!Casey #firehouse 51 #CPD intelligence #conner rhodes #maggie lockwood #will halstead #Godfather Kelly Severide #brother!Matt Casey

[sayafics]

What series shall I update next?

I'm struggling to decide which of my series to update because i made the rookie mistake of making so many :'(

#rick grimes x oc #rick grimes x reader #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon x oc #daemon targaryen x oc #daemon targeryan #criston cole x oc #criston cole x reader #daemon targaryen x reader x criston cole #daemon targaryen x reader #regulus black x oc #jay halstead x oc #twd #towl #hotd #hp #hp marauders #cpd #chicago one

[hereforhalstead]

coming soon

You and Jay were homebodies and this suited you perfectly, he would come home after long shifts and you would still more than likely be sat in the same spot he left you at that morning. Countless half empty mugs filled with coffee that was now ice cold, papers scattered all over the table and floor with your eyes pinned firmly on the screen in front of you.

He would convince you to call it a night, you’d either order in food or you’d wander into the kitchen together to whip up dinner whilst he told you about his day. Depends on what you had, you’d either quickly tidy up the table as best you could or you both just slumped on the sofa with the pizza box balanced on your laps as you watched some trash TV.

You would always fall asleep before Jay, he would get too into the show you had put on and then couldn’t finish until he had got to the end whereas you probably wasn’t paying too much attention in the first place so would easily doze off to only be awoken with a light kiss to your head when Jay has turned the TV off.

#jay halstead x reader #jay halstead #one chicago #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd #chicago fire #cpd

[csirke4488]

Why have I already read everything written for this man? HE SENDS MY HEART INTO CARDIAC ARREST

#antonio dawson x reader #Antonio #Antonio Dawson #Dawson #cpd #Chicago #one Chicago #chicago pd

[maggotssmichael]

this. this is terrifying. i do not want 10:00 pm to hit. it hasn't really hit me that he's leaving tonight. it doesn't feel real, and i know i'm going to cry, but lets be honest about something here: i am going to be mad if they do anything other than kill jay off. if he takes the blame for something hailey did, or something voight did, i am going to be pissed off. it's going to make it worse. i would rather him die than have JAY HALSTEAD take the blame for VOIGHT, which would just contribute to jay's recently very shitty character writing.

i'll be mad, i will be, so i hope/would rather them just kill him off than make him leave chicago, because the jay halstead all of us have known for 10 seasons would never leave chicago. if he's made to leave for the job, he'd probably quit than leave chicago. he has his wife, his brother, and his whole life in chicago, and what, we think he's gonna give it up? no. if he doesn't die, i'll be mad. if he does die, i'll be sad.

and i'd rather be sad than mad.

#chicago pd #jay halstead #jesse lee soffer #hailey upton #tracy spiridakos #kim burgess #adam ruzek #hank voight #cpd #cpd season 10 #cpd 10x03 #kevin atwater #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead y/n

[chicago-pd-is-weird]

TL;DR - Taking requests for CPD oneshots/prompts

Itching for more Voight content…

If anyone has an ask or would like to submit a prompt for me to write, please let me know! I love writing oneshots and have been itching for Hank lately, especially due to the events of 11x7 (-_-)

I also will write Antonio Dawson if requested. Other characters possible, at my discretion.

I don’t write smut, but I will walk the line. See my already written oneshots on my alt accounts, @musntbill and @random-weird-fandoms, linked below.

https://www.tumblr.com/musntbill/745434538137796608/hank-voight-oneshot-tw-some-violence-and-implied

https://www.tumblr.com/random-weird-fandoms/745473828069769216/and-here-is-part-2-of-that-oneshot-again-not

I can write “x reader” like the above, in any POV (first, second, third) as needed. I can do fluffy, angsty, or tense, or something else, just ask!

I am open to any and all ideas and pretty flexible. :) Feel free to comment, DM me, or drop something in my Tumblr inbox if you’d like. <3

#chicago pd #hank voight #sergeant hank voight #sargent hank voight #hank voight x reader #antonio dawson #Antonio Dawson x reader #jay halstead #erin lindsay #hailey upton #kevin atwater #kim burgess #adam ruzek #alvin olinsky #x reader #CPD #fanfiction requests #fanfiction #dante torres

[nevaehhalstead]

The Trio Family

Adam ruzek x Jay Halsteads sister x Greg (mouse)

————

Walking through the doors of the Chicago police station having met up with my brother at the front desk who lead me upstairs where everyone’s desks had been,within a second having tripped him onto his knees and wrapping my arms around mouse tightly while he hugged me back,leaving Jay to scuff.”you had him for a year I didn’t,he’s my best friend again” flipping him off while mouse had pushed my hand down while I let go of the hug.

“These the files” I asked Jay picking them up opening them,while sitting on top his desk without a care in the world that there had been a chair not even a step away from me.

“Yeah,the thing I just don’t get is why,what’s the motive of them coming home and shooting people at random” Jay was going on about while he had opened another file,looking up to see a older guy walking in with some people behind him walking to their desks sitting down.”uh void this is my sister I thought it would be okay if I asked her help on this one,she was serving this these guys”.

“Aye whatever your instinct is I trust it Jay,I do think it is best though you,mouse and your sister here go in alone first and we will be there for backup whenever you need it”.void went into his office leaving everyone looking at us three who were standing like lost kids in a store.

Quietly sighing to myself as I made my way over to his office while Jay told me to just drop it he knew better that I wouldn’t,as I banged my fist against his office door seeing he had just sat down,if we were gonna do this why on earth are we not leaving now.

“Hey do you mind keeping it down” a younger girl had asked me at her desk with a sour look on her face having a little name tag on her desk that said her name was Lindsey.

“Am I banging on your door” I spat at her,I was always known to be this way Jay always called it the Halstead sass.

“No” Lindsey had said while she looked back at her computer putting on papers from the top drawer of her desk.

“The get back to your work” I look over my shoulder seeing void getting up as I headed downstairs with mouse and my brother.

Having took my coat off,feeling a lot better as the breeze kinda ran over my shirt an arms.A bit older guy around jays age leaning against the truck seeming maybe if he didn’t think this had been a great plan and asking if I was actually good with this idea and that I could stay behind with him until mouse and Jay give any more information,which caused Jay to smirk throwing his bag in the back of his truck before getting in.

“Oh that’s cute,you think I’m here for you” I pat his shoulder before jumping into jays backseat grabbing mouses coat he had handed me.

Having got to the meeting house that soldiers go to talk about their ptsd,I couldn’t help but to find it rather ironic.going in and sitting down Jay had been one my left while mouse was next to my right,while everyone was talking scooping out who it all could be.even though this had been a case it still felt great seeing familiar faces again of everyone else who went through the same thing,I could tell it was bothering Jay though because it wasn’t just talking to him it was more of who betrayed him in the sense of what these guys were doing and planning.

Near the end of the meeting a guy named Theo had asked if we all wanted to go back to his place and drink and catch up,thinking this could be a great way to figure out who this really was planning these random killings of innocent civilians we agreed even against voids word of not doing it.it was something so simple we have all been and done way worse then going to their house drinking and finding out who was planning this all and who’s in charge of it.

Standing beside mouse I could see how much I was wrong about this,it felt like home to all three of us.Jay had been making bets of how far he could shoot,they should all know better giving his nickname.”Nevaeh” my name being called snapping me back into focus one of the guys had handed me a drink.

“Thanks” I tell them while I watch Jay go inside and couldn’t help but tense up sensing something was wrong when mouse was then being pulled aside saying they were gonna show him something in front.that being said was meant that I needed to put my wall up,yes I consider anyone who I served with family but this isn’t just anyone it isn’t like this is mouse or my brother I’m alone with.

The second the Theo had saw the van void and the others had been in he ran,so of course out of instinct I chased him knowing the plan was up I pulled the scanner out that mouse had given me telling void to get his ass in that house and help my brother if it’s the last things he does.

Theo had ran under a overpass,while chasing him I heard void talking in the scanner saying they got Jay and mouse and was gonna take them to the hospital,where will works at.Will is my oldest brother,Jay was the middle child and I was cursed with being the youngest which made my brothers protective more then anything more.

In any other circumstance I wouldn’t thought my legs would fall off,hell I could run but something pricked so much fear in Theo he was running as if he was gonna die.turning around the corner to continue to chase him as he pulled his gun out,I quickly pulled mine out shooting him as he had shot me,not once but twice.

Feeling sharp pain run through me,as I was met with the hard concrete below my feet,seeing Theo drop the gun while a van pulled up.just not the van I was praying for it to be.

Having must of passed out because I had woke up to feeling stone cold like I was dropped in freezing water tugging before I had realized I had been shackled to the wall behind me,wincing feeling the sharp feeling returning in my stomach.to have looked down and see that I was still in fact bleeding,from two separate wounds.

“Your a cop,you just got back an you join the pigs” Theo spat at me as I spat back at him not backing down.”no I didn’t but I may now just to piss you off,your a sorry excuse for a ranger” which only lead to being punched in the face an my jaw being grabbed as they took a photo of me.

“Oh god don’t tell me you have some kinda sick fetish and that’s why you took that” I sassed at them smirking.”no but let’s see what your family thinks when we tell them to say their goodbyes” he has smirked while a second guy came down,the stairs.

What felt like months lead to eventually what sounded like a familiar firefight up above me hearing Jay hollering “where the hell is she,where is my sister” wincing as I pulled hard as I could against the shackles seeing Jay an the others coming down the stairs,my voice breaking looking at him bending down to me.

“Ja-y” my voice sounded disgusting as he took them off me and had picked me up cradling me walking me out putting me in the back of a ambulance.

Having woke up feeling like I was smacked and ran over with a semi truck an then ran through a blender seeing Jay and Will standing outside the door talking to each other with a stern look on both of their faces.before Jay had checked me out and took me back to his house that Will said he would stop by after and come check on me,making me realize though my brother was in this relationship with Lindsey,he was roommates with mouse who’s coat hung on his bedroom door,while he helped me over to the couch sitting down beside me.

I wasn’t to sure if I had fell asleep or just started to doze off hearing mouse at the door and Jay snoring beside me as a got up holding my stomach for a moment before coming around the corner slowly “mouse who’s at the door?”

“Uh adam ruzek he works with Jay and I” he told me as I looked up seeing the guy I made the comment about earlier to by the truck of jays.confused while mouse walked back to the kitchen leaving adam there standing like a deer in headlights.

Making me even more confused when he had gently cupped my face making me look up at him,kinda holding my face by the jaw.

“Are you okay,I wasn’t even told.I am so god dam love with you it’s sickening,the moment I met you and you walked through the doors of the station an kicked your brother to his knees,I just knew I loved you there was just something about it that drew you to me and I am so beyond blessed that I got to meet you and that you came home for this case because if you didn’t I wouldn’t of met you and I wouldn’t be able to ask you to be mine” he looked at me with such love and praise in his eyes seemingly wanting to protect me from everything in the world it seemed.

Something had though felt so wrong when he had leaned over to kiss me,nudging his shoulder back turning to my side seeing mouse in the doorway with a drink,I couldn’t help but have my heart shattered.

Of course I have this great guy in front of me confessing to me that he was in love with me the moment he had met me as if love at first sight truly did exist,feeling like I had weights pushing me under the water as I kept eye contact with mouse who smiled though I could see pain in his eyes as he tipped his head back taking a drink.

I couldn’t help but zone out.I couldn’t help remembering the fight between Jay and mouse and myself arguing about going back,mouse was the one who always had my back if we hadn’t the post would of been gone in six months,he always had my back no matter what it had been sometimes even more then my own brother had my back.I wasn’t sure what it had been while Adam had still been standing there looking at me watching waiting for a response,all I could think about was everything mouse and I had went through together and remembering the feeling I felt when a terrorist had a gun pointed to his head and I really had thought I was gonna lose him.

It was a feeling and tension that had always been there having always assumed it had been love he felt for me like Jay felt but it was a different feeling this time,the tears that were threatening to leave his eyes at the idea of me possibly being with Adam,I couldn’t help but to walk over to him an to kiss him.feeling his hand drop behind my back to hold me closer like he was afraid that I was gonna change my mind while he had gently held his other hand on my jaw.

Whatever love adam believed he had for me,wasn’t the same as it had always been between Greg and myself.gently pulling back the slightest seeing Adam leaving an shutting the door knowing I hurt him but also knowing no matter what I would always choose mouse. “I have always been in love with you,even when we were serving,even you being goofy or you drunk,I was even in love with you when you wanted to already leave to go back,an even if you choose that id follow you anywhere even if that means going back”

Feeling his lips on mine quickly laughing at the fact he had shoved me against the wall kissing me like he wasn’t gonna get the chance again.”I love you to,even if you wanted to be with Adam I wouldn’t of stopped you i love you to much to pull you away from a realtionship that has the chance of making you the happiest girl alive”

“The only time I’m the happiest girl alive is when I am with you no matter the circumstances,it will always be you” kissing him,while he had pulled me closer kissing me back feeling him smiling into the kiss.feeling my heart melt when I put my hand on his cheek feeling it wet before I broke the kiss.

Never once had I seen mouse cry,being shot,stabbed held hostage he never cried but us kissing made him cry for the very first time.

#jay halstead #mouse #greg mouse gerwitz #chicago #chicago pd #adam ruzek #adam ruzek x reader #chicago pd x reader #the rangers #cpd

[royaltysuite]

The last two episodes of Chicago P.D. Season 10 has got me feeling 'all hot and bothered🥵🔥💦 ' then feeling like 'I JUST CAME BACK FROM WAR AND NOW SUFFERING PTSD HALLUCINATIONS😶😬😶'

....................it also doesn't help that I'm high rn 🌿🍃🌿🍃🌿🍃

☺️🤗☺️

I'm so horny rn🥵🥵🥵🥵

#x reader #royaltysuite #chicago pd x reader #hank voight x reader #dante torres x reader #dante torres cpd #dante torres chicago pd #hank voight #hank voight cpd #hank voight chicago pd

[emiewritesthings]

happier ☆ jay halstead

Summary: in which jay and y/n's break up leaves one more broken than the other

Warnings: Language, angst, not the happiest of endings lmaoo

Requested: Yes!! Can I request a jay Halstead imagine where he and the reader broke up and they have a kid and  he gets married to hailey not long after the break up

“Okay, Ruby’s finally gone back down. Mr Ted fell out her bed again- Wait, w-what are you doing?” Y/n froze in the threshold of their room with wide watery eyes, watching as the man she’d sworn to herself and everyone around her was the one emptying his side of the closet into a large duffle. His face was scrunched up in frustration and pain, skin red with heat and tears of unknown emotions sailed down his smooth cheeks and into the depths of his stubble. “Jay? What are you doing? Jay!” She gasped louder, taking a step forward and felt the internal knife twist in her gut upon realising the scene that had once been an exploited fear in her nightmares become her reality. 

“What am I doing? What am I doing?” Jay looked up, his tongue snapping as the venom could no longer be contained from travelling through his words. “What are we doing? Why are we pretending we are okay?” Shaking his head, his fists balled up one of his ‘fancy’ shirts before angrily punching it into the bag again, again and again. With each motion, Y/n felt her body jump in fear, her stomach uneasy questioning whether she should be walking towards him or running in the opposite direction. 

“It’s okay, Jay-.” Y/n attempted to comfort, now an arm length away from him and where he was hunched over leaning against the mattress with his fists. In the six years they had been together, never had she felt like she ever had to fear Jay. To her friends and family she would describe him as a teddy bear in human clothing, a man that was professionally trained in staying calm and collected. But in that moment, she hesitated to reach out for him. Her eyes zooming in on his balled fists, the stress veins popping under his skin and the mood in the air that just didn’t feel right. 

“Nothing is okay. I am not okay, Y/n!” He yelled, throwing his hands up in the air and suddenly the woman in front of him was cowering away from him. The jump back caught both of them off guard. His hands fell back to his side, as they both stared in silence at one another. 

She thought I was going to hit her? 

I thought he was going to hit me?

Y/n’s head dropped as her hands ran through her long, dark, slightly greasy hair and tugged at it. Maybe if she pulled hard enough everything would dissolve and she’d jolt back into her bed, slightly sweaty from the nightmarish antics but in the safety of Jay’s arms. That’s where she wanted to be. That’s where she belonged, or at least she used to.

“You don’t trust me anymore, Y/n,” Jay’s voice was cold, resuming to gathering his belongings, and keeping a healthy distance between him and the mother of his child for whatever was happening he didn’t want her to feel like she was in danger. “We can’t keep pretending that this is going to get better, it’s not getting any better. I need to go before it breaks us both.” He assured as he appeared from the bathroom with his toiletries. Positioning them in his bag, he realised he had everything and began to tug at the zip.

“Maybe we can try counselling. I have the number of the guy that my sister and George went to, she said it was hard at first but now they’ve never been better!” She bargained hopefully, her hands slapping onto the top of the duffle pausing the man. She leaned over the bed from the opposite side, something stopping her from rounding the bed and standing closer to him. Their eyes met in that moment, and both could see and practically count the pieces of their soul floating around in them - broken and bruised. 

“It won’t work.” Jay insisted, his eyes not leaving her’s, for if he glanced down at her lips and the way they shivered he’d be crumbling down in an instance. “I know it won’t work, you know it won’t work.”

“I don’t want you to go.” She pleaded, her hands placed on top of his, her smaller ones squeezing them gently. She didn’t want to let go of him, not physically or emotionally. Jay was all she’d ever known. He was the man that had introduced her to love in the first place, despite the couple of boyfriends she had prior to the detective. He showed her how powerful a relationship could be, how it could make her feel like she was forever floating on a cloud when he was in the room. But more importantly - most importantly - he had given her the little girl that was sound asleep a couple rooms over, who’d pushed them into parenthood in all its beauty. 

“I’m sorry.” Pulling his hands away was like the penny dropping for Y/n. This was it, he’d logged out, he’d let go, he’d checked out. Y/n’s hands lingered on the bag for a moment, until she pulled them into her chest realising how cold and alien they felt without his. Jay watched as Y/n’s eyes zoned out and the wall he’d spent the six years of their relationship destroying was built back up in milliseconds. Her face was distant, eyes dull and glazed, lips parted. His chest burnt with guilt as he took in the consequences to his confession, he wanted to go over and hug her. Hold her one last time and tell her that it was all going to be okay, but he knew if he did he’d never find the nerve to leave and everything would get worse.

Following him out of the bedroom and towards the front door, Y/n felt trapped inside her own body. She was unable to communicate but every other sense felt ten times stronger. Her skin prickled as she watched Jay grab his car keys out of the poorly made dish that the pair of them had crafted during one of their first dates at a poetry class that Kim had given Jay a coupon for. However his attention was stolen by the framed photos around it, his entire body freezing. His fingers reached out for the little girl that had been captured a couple months ago with her father’s badge around her neck and his large boots swallowing both her little legs. 

Ruby Halstead was as beautiful as her mother, that Jay knew from the day she was born. Although she’d been unlucky enough to adopt his personality, with her funny facial expressions and humour. At age two, Jay felt like she was already a tiny adult with the way she acted, and the thought of ever losing her made his heart burn. Letting the tip of his pointer finger run along her face, he glanced over his shoulder at the zombified woman. 

“Whatever happens between us,” He breathed out, turning back to the picture. “Please never let it ever affect her.” Y/n’s inner voice scoffed humourlessly at his request, whilst externally her dead stare didn’t even shift. Did he seriously think that low of her? Had it gotten so bad between them that he’d forgotten that she would never play around with her daughter’s life, how ever fucked her’s may be. “Maybe when I have a more permanent address we can sort something out, you now, custody wise.” 

How were they even having this conversation? Y/n couldn’t believe he could look her in the face with such words directed towards her. How did they end up here? She couldn’t pinpoint how it had all gone so horribly wrong. 

“Y/n-.” Even the way he said her name had changed. Once upon a time, in a period of their lives that felt like a fictional fairytale in comparison to this, he’d mumble her name like it was a prayer. Every time it was followed by a small smile and a small exhale as it seemed to take the breath from his lungs in a surreal kind of way. Now though, she could feel the way it scalded his tongue. Nevertheless, the call brought Y/n back to the front of her mind, her head slightly shaking as she realised how disorientated she’d become. 

“If you walk out of that door you will never walk back through it.” Her eyes pulled up and the fire lit inside of them introduced a new light into the room. Jay gulped as he realised that she was speaking from the bottom of her heart. It was his last chance, that’s how Y/n thought of it. He could come back to her, give it all one last chance. They were his family after all, weren’t they? Realising that the decision was already well and truly made in his mind, Y/n looked down at her hand and sighed at the ring that no longer glistened the same way as when she’d received it. Feeling a sob lodge in her throat, she didn’t let it out and wouldn’t whilst Jay was still in the house. Tugging the diamond decorated band off of her finger, she stared at it for a moment, lips dipping into a frown. Three years she had been waiting for them to get married, under their bed were folders of planning she had done whilst he was at work. She’d picked out a dress, a location, a cake, but now they were nothing, they meant nothing. 

Holding out the jewellery piece towards Jay, the man looked down at it with sombre eyes. He remembered how he had fretted at the side of his brother, searching for the perfect ring. He wanted a piece that summed up their love, summed up how he felt about her. Something as equally beautiful and powerful as Y/n was. When he’d found the one he’d given her, all he’d ever think of whilst looking at it was the happiness that spilled over her face that night he’d gotten on one knee. That was suppose to be the start of their life together forever, how wrong they were. Nodding in gratitude, Jay placed the ring into the pocket of his jeans and unlocked the front door. The cool wind called him back into the world as a single man, a place he hoped he would find himself once again. 

“For the record,” She called out when Jay had reached the bottom of their garden, his head turned in an instant. Seeing her stood there, the light from the living room lamp creating a halo around her, he felt doubts creep under his skin. “I was so so happy with you, Halstead.” Then the door was slammed shut and Jay listened to the lock click confirming that he’d done it - he was officially locked out of Y/n life. Sighing softly, his feet plodded away from the house and out of the world that they had created and shared together. 

—

6 months later

“-And so I told him, George, it’s not like you forgot to buy milk or something, you slept with our neighbour… three times.” Amelia, Y/n’s eldest sister, complained over a cup of coffee that had certainly gone cold considering how long she’d been retelling the story of her and her husband’s latest fight. The entire time, Y/n had tried to be supportive and attentively listening to her sister’s troubles but her eyes kept flicking to the clock behind her on the wall of the cafe. 

15 minutes, she thought. 15 minutes and she’d get to see her baby again. 

“Are you even listening to me?” The scoff that emitted from Amelia’s lips had Y/n’s head snapping back towards her, a guilty look plastered on her face as she smiled innocently. The older sister narrowed her eyes knowing fully well the answer was ‘no’, but she equally knew that this time of the week was always the worst for the single mother of one. “Another weekend at Jay’s, huh?” 

Her sister’s tone wasn’t the warmest, her eyes rolling at the mention of the detective that had quite literally broken the little sister Amelia had once known. She’d never forget the screams and cries down the phone early in the morning, as Y/n blubbered through an explanation of how the man she’d meant to be marrying walked out to start what he claimed to be ‘his own life again’. Her sister instincts had coaxed her into wanting to go find the son of a bitch and feed her thoughts into his ear until he had to call the police - but Y/n fought her on the matter. She was torn apart, broken upon repair - granted - but Jay was still Jay to her. She didn’t want any harm coming his way, nor did she want their daughter to see her aunt hating on her dad. 

“Mhmm,” Y/n hummed, a small sigh breaking her lips apart as she took the final sip of her third cup of coffee. It didn’t feel right saying ‘Jay’s’, for it had been so long since their names had been broken. It was always ‘Jay and Y/n’, it was always suppose to be. “I tell you I count down the hours from the moment I drop her off on Friday, pathetic isn’t it?” It was selfish to admit - that’s why she only ever did so in her sister’s company - but she didn’t love sending Ruby off to Jay’s, despite them both coming to the agreement to do so. However back then Jay’s meant the father and daughter spending the weekend together, just them two. Now, though, that was no longer the case. 

“It isn’t pathetic, it’s just sad.” Amelia corrected, not doing the best to make Y/n feel better as she sunk deeper into her chair. Her hands rubbed at her eyes, not feeling quite alive as she should. “I take it that Hilary is still in the picture.” Once again the older woman rolled her eyes. Y/n smiled sadly, although tried to make it look as warm and friendly as possible.

“Her name’s Hailey and yeah, from what I hear from Ruby.” She shrugged, hoping that it somehow made her look far less interested than she was. In reality the thought of her ex-fiancee’s blonde coworker and now girlfriend cozying up with him and their daughter kept her awake at night. Upon hearing the news a full two and a half months after their breakup, Y/n thought that it was some kind of joke. Mainly because it had come from her daughter who’d mentioned something about ‘aunt Hailey sleeping in daddy’s bed’. She hadn’t been told from the horse’s mouth so to speak, or any of her so called friends that she shared with the man like Kim or Kevin. But after digging - which mostly included speaking to the firefighters in Molly’s - it turned out that it was very much the truth and Jay’s soul searching had ended with him in the bed of Hailey Upon, who - bare in mind - Jay had reassured Y/n was no more than a good friend for three years.

“Do you think it was all planned?” Amelia suddenly asked, as her face soured at the thoughts in her head. Y/n tilted her head in confusion, begging for her to continue whatever she was thinking. “Do you think they were having some sort of affair this whole time and she asked him to leave you? I mean, what kind of man leaves his fiancee and kid and then shacks up with someone new 2 months later?” Her words began to cause an unreachable itch to form in the back of Y/n’s mind, conjuring ideas that she hadn’t even been close to having in the months she’d been mourning her relationship. She’d always assumed that something was there between the two, but never would she think that Jay would go further than having some idle feelings - at least whilst she was still lying in bed besides him. 

“Why would you say that?” Y/n groaned, fingers raking through her hair in stress. Amelia spotted her mistake as the woman began zoning out, travelling to the depths of her thoughts to examine the plaguing suggestion made by her eldest sister. Sitting up straight, she reached out and grabbed Y/n’s hands.

“I’m sorry, that was just me being stupid.” She tried to reassure Y/n, thumb stroking her knuckles. “You know what I’m like, I think everyone is like George-.” 

“Do you think he ever loved me?” Y/n mumbled, eyes watery as she looked up at her sister who she hadn’t been listening to. Her hands shook off Amelia’s as she was stunned by the question. She sat there wide eyed not knowing how to restart her senses and provide Y/n with an answer that prevented the forecasted spiralling. For her to ask such a question, Amelia soon realised that the so called ‘healing’ she’d undergone was a lie. She was still as broken as the day they’d broken up. Which made sense since it hadn’t been that long, but knowing that Y/n had been keeping it hidden from everyone was sickening.

“I-I think so. I mean, yes of course he did. He must have.” Again severely unhelpful words of wisdom from her sister. Looking at the clock one final time, she realised she had to go. Standing up ,her chair scraped across the floor producing a teeth clenching noise, but she didn’t even flinch. Her lips mumbled something about talking to Amelia later, and suddenly she was out the door. He must have loved her once upon a time. Walking down the street, people had to go out of their way to avoid bumping into her semi-conscious self, searching for where she’d parked her car. Did he love Hailey more?

Shaking her head when she sat in the front seat, hands gripping the wheel, Y/n knew she couldn’t be in such a state with her daughter around. She didn’t want Ruby to worry about her, not now, not ever. The aftermath of the breakup had made her realise just how much she desired never to let her daughter catch wind of the chaos occurring behind her eyes. Telling her baby that her dad would no longer be living with them without hinting that she was internally shattered was one of the hardest things she ever had to do. Rightly so, Ruby had been upset, but came around to the idea upon realising her dad would still be around. So as far as Y/n was concerned, that was the only pain Ruby would have to endure when it came to her and Jay. She would never breath a word of what happened between them no matter how old Ruby became. Getting rid of enough fog in her mind that she felt it was safe to start driving, Y/n started the engine and switched the radio on, turning it up loud enough not to give her thoughts a chance to deafen her. 

When she pulled up outside of Jay’s newly rented house, she sat in her car for a moment, doing some last minute preparations. Taking deep breaths, she practiced in the mirror how she would smile when that door opened and revealed Jay or Hailey. It didn’t feel right, but it was what had to be done. After he’d moved on so quickly, there wasn’t much room for her to still be holding on to their relationship. She didn’t want them knowing that she was still such a mess, the thought made her violently nauseous. A loud knock on the passenger window sent her jumping in her seat, slapping the sun visor shut as she turned with wide eyes spotting the smile sporting detective waving at her through the closed window. Fuck sake, she thought waving back with a flavourless smile. 

Getting out of the car, she didn’t even make it around the car before he was calling out for her. 

“Ruby won’t be long, Hailey is just helping get her things.” Jay spoke softly, like he knew that he was dealing with an active explosive. To the mother, it felt a little too degrading like he thought she was weak and fragile, she didn’t like it. Nodding her head, she reaching the sidewalk, standing a good 2 metres away from the man that she once couldn’t bare being 2 inches away from. Clearing her throat only seemed to make the silence between them more awkward. Y/n was playing with her fingers, picking away the old nail polish wishing her daughter - who was no better than herself - would hurry up and save her from having to endure any more of this torture. 

“We had kind of a big lunch, so don’t be surprised if she doesn’t want much tonight.” Jay offered, glancing over at the woman that for once in her life looked timid. Her skin seemed paler than it normally did, her body was held up without the usual confidence and power that she would usually carry. His fingers prickled to go reach out to her, to run them along her cheek and see if they still made them light up with delight. But he rejected them quickly, stuffing them into his trouser pockets as they both waited for the little girl that they shared. 

“Okay.” She nodded, looking up letting her hands fall to her sides, leaning back against her parked car. The silence returned and the man wondered if this was the time for him to tell her. His senses became instantly more aware of the cold metal that currently rested on his finger. When was the right time to break it to your ex that you- before Jay could finish his thought Ruby’s voice came booming out of the house. 

“Mommy, Mommy!” Her little feet tapped against the porch in her trainers as she came running down the stairs recklessly and jumped into her mother’s arms. The detective watched how just the sight of Ruby sent life shooting through Y/n’s face once again, her body crouching to catch the girl. Spinning around listening to her squeals, Jay couldn’t hide the grin on his face at the reunion. His eyes instinctively moved back to the porch where Hailey was awkwardly stood with Ruby’s backpack in hand and a posture keeping her from moving forward. Frowning, the blonde caught the man’s eye and mouthed ‘have you told her yet?’, to which he shook his head.

“Oh my- have you gotten bigger? I think you’ve gotten bigger.” Y/n grinned, poking the small dimples that marked both of Ruby’s cheeks. The girl was happy about the comment, squealing in delight as her mom returned her feet to rest back on the pavement, although her hand stuck with Y/n’s. The sensation was not one that the woman could put into words, she just wished it would never end. 

“Um, Y/n do you think we could have a word?” Jay asked appearing besides them both this time with Ruby’s backpack. Taking it warily, the woman looked towards him in confusion. They only ever talked about Ruby, and that was over text. When they did speak in person it was… painful. So why would he voluntarily put both of them through it? She wondered, eyes narrowing as she switched her gaze over to a cowering Hailey. 

“Are you going to tell Mommy about you two getting married?” And just like that the entire plan that Jay had derived in his head was ruined by the words of his three year old, grinning daughter. Y/n’s hand immediately released the bag, whilst the other clutched onto Ruby tighter. Her lips parting as a heartbreaking breath fell out, and the world collapsed beneath her feet. Married? She choked on the word even in her mind. They got married? Needing confirmation that what Ruby spoke was true, Y/n eyes flew to both of their hands where - sure enough - she found both of them sporting identical bands on their fingers. No, no, no, no, no. She couldn’t breath, her chest was being squeezed so tightly she was sure that the soul was being pulled out of her body through her mouth. 

“We need to go.” She insisted, lips moving quickly but her mind wasn’t processing anything. It was like she was going into shut down and there was no way to stop it. Leaning down, Y/n grabbed the Paw Patrol bag back up and gently guided Ruby towards the back seat and into her car seat. Watching the way the woman’s hands shook as she opened the door and the sound of her breaths rough and uneasy, Jay didn’t know what to do. Hailey’s face was drowned in guilt as he gestured for her to go inside and that he would handle this. This was his mess, it was his responsibility. 

“Y/n.” He spoke, when she’d closed the door and was trying to get passed him to get in her own seat, but he was there - every way she went he was always there blocking her. 

“Move.” She ordered, voice low not wanting the toddler in the car to hear the way her voice was an open warning for what was to come if he didn’t obey. Grabbing a hold of her hands, Jay ignored her - typical. Trying to shake him off, he wouldn’t loosen his grip. Just like his scent around the house, no matter how many sheets she washed, how hard she scrubbed he just wouldn’t leave her alone. He was always there, taunting her. 

“We should talk about this. I have so much to explain.” She scoffed in his face. 

“Explain? Fucking hell, don’t you think it’s a little late for that?” The humourless laugh that escaped her chest was like a bullet that soured right into Jay’s heart. His defences were hopeless, as they always had been when it came to Y/n. Even though they weren’t in a romantic relationship anymore, didn’t mean he’d completely erased her from his life. What she did to him wasn’t something that went away, she was forever a weakness to him. “Now maybe you should go back in and join your wife because we are going home.” Shaking one last time, Jay’s hand fell from her wrists and she finally got into the car and was sailing down the road away from the newlyweds with a freshly broken heart. 

“Mommy?” Ruby called out with a weak voice. Looking into the mirror at where she was watching her, Y/n nodded with a small gentle smile as her eyes lit up with tears. “Are you okay?” Her concern was written all over her face, clearly not understanding the nuclear bomb she’d let slip moments before. Shaking her head, Y/n blinked away the majority of the tears.

“I’m okay, baby, Don’t you worry.” Lies.

—

“Married? He fucking married her?” Amelia yelled into Y/n’s ear as she sat on the couch with a large glass of wine, having put Ruby to bed a couple hours prior. The large sips she was taking seemed to slowly be working at freeing up the tense muscled that embraced her entire body. This was certainly not her first glass of the dark red liquid, nor would it be her last if it all went to plan. The moment she she got a moment to herself she had to call her sister, needing to hear from someone else that the news was as crazy as it was making her feel. And without many friends, Amelia was first and only choice. “Oh you must be pissed.” The sound of her taking a large sip of her own glass of wine on the other end of the line made the younger sister smile dazed by the effects of the alcohol.

“I was engaged to him for three years and he couldn’t even commit to a flower arrangement. But now suddenly he’s in the ‘fuck it let’s get married’ mood? Hell yes I’m pissed.” She fumed, staring at the thick folder of wedding prep that was currently holding up one end of the coffee table after it broke a couple of months back. How much time she had wasted on that, for what? Knowing fully well that it was 99% her work too, other than the cake that Jay had once said ‘looked good’ and then ran out to go to work. How had she been so blind? 

“Did you even know they were engaged?” Amelia asked, wondering if she had missed that information somewhere between her George rants. However hearing Y/n’s grunt of disagreement she realised it was just her sister’s shitty ex being her sister’s shitty ex. Y/n shifted so her head was resting on the arm of the sofa, her eyes staring plainly up at the ceiling feeling hot tears drip slowly down the side of her face. Wiping them away furiously, she hated that she was feeling so sad. She’d prefer just to be angry, incredibly angry sounded great right about now. But her luck seemed non-existent at this point. “I’m so sorry. Y/n/n. You don’t deserve any of this.” 

Y/n was beginning to doubt that. She must have done something. Whether that was to Jay or just someone random she’d come across in life, which ultimately had fucked up her karma. Because how could she have been shot down over and over and over. She had to be getting punished for something. 

Just as she was about to open her mouth and say something, there was a soft but clear knock on her front door. Freezing, she sat up and placed her wine glass onto the coffee table. Amelia must have heard it too for she was soon asking who was coming around at this time, to which Y/n didn’t have an answer for her. She hadn’t invited anyone around. Promising to call her sister back, and Amelia making her promise not to get killed by a possible murderer at her front door, they hung up the call and Y/n approached the front door. Clicking the lock, Y/n hesitantly pulled at the large slab of wood and peered into the darkness of the night. Squinting at the dramatic change in light, Y/n was suddenly wishing that it had been a murderer as she noted the glum looking Jay Halstead on her doorstep. 

“Don’t tell me she’s kicked you out already. Or did you leave her? I know that’s more your style.” She snorted opening the door a little wider so he got to see her full body but not enough that he could sneak past her. Jay didn’t respond, knowing that the woman that was very clearly drunk needed to get this kind of stuff off her chest. She’d been crying, that was clear. It was sad that he knew the sight a little too well considering the end of their relationship where all she seemed to be doing was cry as Jay stressed about the unsettled war playing out inside of him. 

“Can I come in?” He asked, not pushing her knowing that he had no right asking such a thing. And by the way her face turned into a look of disgust, she felt the exact same. Shaking her head as she turned around clearly needing a moment, before turning around and pointing an accusing finger at the detective. 

“How dare you!” Even when buzzed with the alcohol units flowing through her veins, she was still aware of the sleeping girl in the house, keeping her voice low but sharp enough that the words cut into Jay’s chest. “You shouldn’t have come here. You’ve wasted your time, I don’t want to talk to you.” Turning around ready to go back into the house and drink another bottle of wine before passing out. But Jay had no intention of leaving things this way, he’d been sat thinking about her since she’d left earlier. Her face, her ridgid posture, her uneven breathing were playing like a never ending slideshow behind his eyes.

“What? So you are never going to speak to me again? Is that it?” His frustration surfaced, as he took a step forward grabbing ahold of her left wrist anchoring her in her spot. His touch that she once wanted to drown in, was now suffocating her silently. Turning to look at the way his large hand encircled her wrist sparked a similar frustration within her, her hand yanking back with force.

“You know what that doesn’t sound a terrible suggestion. I think I’m going to take you up on that offer.” She sassed, with a her lips pulling up into a disingenuous smile. Despite the darkness outside, the porch light allowed Jay to get a good look into the woman’s eyes and prejudge the demons that he would likely have to face the longer this conversation went on.  

“I know I hurt you-.” His tone softened in an attempt to sooth her, but if anything it riled her up. Who was he to talk to her like that? 

“You don’t know shit!” Throwing her hands in the air in frustration, Jay’s lips zipped shut. “I know you like to think you know everything but you don’t know the fucking half of it, Jay Halstead.” He watched as his name stung her tongue, her face contorting into a look of pain. It had been once been like a lungful of fresh air for the woman, something that would make her heart rate soar and eyes to soften. The name of her lover, her soulmate. But now it was just a reminder of all the pain she’d experienced over the last six months. 

“Then tell me. Let’s go in and talk about it.” 

“I told you that once you walked out you aren’t coming back in. I stand by that.” She stood strong in the doorway. Stubbornness was not a stranger to the woman, she stuck by her word, she wasn’t gonna bend just because of the beautiful green eyes begging her to. Maybe she would have considered it in the past, but she wasn’t letting him under her skin, she couldn’t.

“Oh come on.” Jay groaned, head falling back with his eyes shut, as his hands rubbed down his face. He was tired, it was one of the first things Y/n had picked out when she had gotten a good look at him. And whilst tiredness was an accessory Jay wore on a daily basis due to the nature of his job, this was different, this was exhaustion. The kind that could only be summoned by continuous nights of guilt keeping one awake and depriving them of peace. 

“No.” She shook her head finally. 

“Then- then can we sit on the porch. Talk out here at least?” Pointing towards the step of the porch, Y/n thought about it for a moment. Her bottom lip sucked in between her teeth as she stared between the man and where he was pointing. Did she really want to do this? Listen to him as he tried to rid himself of the blame in search of reassurance that he wasn’t the worst person in the world? “Please?” Jay’s eyes seemed to water, with the small light illuminating the tears that pooled in them. 

“Ten minutes. Maximum.” She mumbled, moving away from the door, shutting it behind her to stop the cold from entering. Plopping down onto the step, she watched as Jay’s body relaxed and relief flooded his insides. A small smile pricked his lips as he realised not all hope was lost, and he moved to take a seat next to the mother of his child. 

“I’ll take what I can get.” He mumbled, falling down besides her, their knees touching due to the limited space that the step provided them with. The contact was strange, Y/n had expected that she’d want to pull away and hiss at how it pained her, but instead she found the warmth of his touch like a siren calling her to back in. It took everything in her to ignore the ideas floating around, and instead turn her focus towards the rotting wood beneath her feet. There was a period of silence where neither of them knew who was going to start this whole ‘discussion’. When so much was left unsaid where did you begin? “I assume you have questions.” That was a given, Jay knew. He’d expected her to at least look at him, when this close to her she would never have looked anywhere else. Before it all went down at least.

“When did you get engaged?” She asked, chewing on the skin around her fingers not liking that all of this was happening and the buzz she’d been sporting had started to wear off. She needed the artificial confidence, she was relying on it right now to keep her sat next to the man she’d been avoiding talking to for months

“Same day we got married.” Y/n was slightly more content knowing that it hadn’t been a complete secret. If he had been hiding their engagement for a while and then gotten married maybe she’d be a little bit more mad. But the result was all the same. He’d gotten married and she wasn’t 100% sure she would know now, had it not been for her daughter that couldn’t keep a secret to save her life.

“Which was?” She pressed further, not liking how he seemed to be avoiding answering directly. 

“Last Tuesday.”

“I assume it wasn’t big get together?” She knew the answer. For Jay not to invite Ruby, it had to be something small. 

“Just me and her.” He responded.

“Intimiate. Cute.” Wanting to roll her eyes, she resisted the urge instead mumbling the words showing she couldn’t care less despite being the one to ask the question. However Jay didn’t hold anything back, his eyes flicking back quickly as his foot kicked a rock around.

“Don’t lie to me.” The order made Y/n look at him incredulously.

“Don’t tell me what to do.” She snapped back. “Does everyone know?” 

“The unit know if that’s what you mean.” He confessed, realising he might be throwing all his friends under the bus but he didn’t entirely know the full extent yet. Nodding her head, Y/n’s gaze ran off as her thoughts consumed her mind. “The rings were kind of a give away.” Jay confessed, bringing the attention to what rested on his finger.

“Of course.” She should have known. It was all making a lot more sense. Y/n’s mind suddenly thought of her earlier conversation with her sister, and she couldn’t stop herself from searching for answers. “Were you seeing her whilst we were still together?”

“What? No. No, absolutely not.” Jay shook his head vigorously, lips parting in surprise. “Why would you even think that?”

“Six months ago I was engaged and now my fiancee is married to another woman. What do you mean why would I think that?” Incredible, she thought. She didn’t remember Jay being so… dumb. In the emotional sense at least. A few years back he could take a brief glance in her eyes and tell every thought she’d produced in the last 30 minutes. To him, she had been a book made for Kindergarteners. Now, she was written in a foreign language hidden on the top shelf of the bookcase that he simply couldn’t reach.

“Yeah but- that doesn’t have anything to do with us. I wouldn’t have done that to you, Y/n. I loved you, I still love you-.” Jay began, letting his tongue run away with him until a tut from Y/n’s mouth silenced him and his brain finally caught up with the sounds his mouth was making.

“No. We aren’t doing that. You don’t love me!” Shrugging him off, Y/n didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to know how everything would be okay, because he still cared for her. What was she meant to do with that? He was married now. He was most likely planning on starting a family with Hailey and he was leaving her to unravel at the thought that he still loved her? He was selfish. He was cruel. He would forever be her tormentor.

“Hailey and I just happened, after we broke up I was vulnerable. I needed her and she was there, it just felt natural being together. And I don’t want to be without her, getting married was the right choice for us.” The way he spoke was slow and soft, as though waiting for her to suddenly blow and everything around them to crumble into dust. He didn’t trust her to be calm about the situation, and rightfully so, Y/n could think of many words to describe how she was feeling and calm wasn’t in the top 1000. “I want to apologise. The way that I handled this whole thing was so wrong of me. I didn’t want to hurt you, I never did.” Jay confessed, but Y/n was having none of it. Shaking her head in amazement, sending him the fakest of grins.

“Do you even know what you are apologising for, Jay?” She didn’t know if she was angry, frustrated or just straight up sad. Everything was melting together in her head when their eyes met, he knew how she could get drawn in them when they were on her. Maybe that explained the look in them. Clearing her throat, Y/n realised this was her time to get everything off her chest. He was offering up the floor for it, she knew this was her one and only chance. “I lost everything. I lost my fiancé, my ideal happy family, I lost my friends. I haven’t heard from Kim, Kevin, Adam, any of them since we broke up. I thought they were our friends, but it turns out all these years I was just your plus one in the friend group. Do you know how alone I felt- feel? And then to find out when I was struggling to get out of bed, let alone feed myself and look after my daughter, you were out dating again? Getting engaged? Getting married? Fuck, if I didn’t have that little girl in there I don’t know where I would have ended up.”

“Don’t say that.” 

“You told me not to lie to you.” She bit back. “What we had, it was good wasn’t it? Like for the last six months I have been trying to pin point the moment you stopped loving me. And I know we had trouble towards the end and I didn’t fully bounce back after having Ruby but what did I do to make you stop loving me?” She rambled, arms crossing over her chest as she noted that the temperature had dropped massively since she’d been out earlier. 

“You didn’t do anything.” He rejected immediately, brows furrowing thinking that those thoughts ever passed her mind. They’d shared so many ‘I love yous’ over the years it was hard for him to comprehend that for even a second she would think he ever didn’t love her. Everyone they met always commented on the way they adored each other, Jay had been teased about it at work for years and had not let it bother him for he knew it was true. But this whole time Y/n had not? “I never stopped loving you, that was never the issue.”

“Then enlighten me, please.” She begged, eyes wide pleading for him to disclose something that would cool the scolding mark that irritated her mind every waking moment. 

“It was all me. You did nothing wrong.” Holding her face in his hands, his touch was gentle as he cupped her cheeks. Feeling the heat under them, he internally smiled knowing that despite the drastic changes she somewhere inside still was very much victim to his touch. A little reminder of the love that they had created and endured over their long term relationship. Y/n tried to pull away, not believing his take on ‘it’s not you it’s me’. However Jay seemed to hold on tighter, shaking his head. “I’m being serious. I don’t know what happened but I wasn’t happy with who I was anymore. I couldn’t settle in my own skin, I felt like I was trapped and I just needed out.” 

“So it wasn’t me,” Y/n sniffed, no longer ashamed to let the repressed sadness overflow onto her face. “I didn’t do anything wrong?” She questioned, feeling six months worth of confusion lift from her chest and shoulders. Hiding her face in her heads, she soon felt Jay wrap his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close with his forehead pressed against the side of her head where he let out a small breath of air, feeling his air ways tighten and eyes water. He’d let her suffer, simmer in the unknown all alone, he was a terrible person. God, he knew it. Seeing her break wasn’t a common sight, and that ripped through him over and over as he inhaled the same perfume she’d been wearing since they started dating.

“I couldn’t have asked to be loved by a better woman than you, Y/n Y/l/n,” He assured with a low voice, pressing is lips against the top of her head, lips lingering as he looked up to the stars and his tears began to stroll down his cheeks. “You are beautiful, inside and out. And I am sorry that for even a moment I ever treated you like you weren’t. But that’s on me, not you.” Pressing a second, then a third kiss on her head. The both just sat there crying whilst the man cradled the woman, knowing that he couldn’t let go of her just yet. Despite thinking about his wife sat at home waiting for him, he was instinctively pulled back to Y/n every time. 

“I didn’t think that there would ever be a time after you Jay. I don’t know what I’m suppose to do now.” Her admission was one the man hadn’t expected when the conversation first started. Gently moving her hair from her face to get a full look at her face, his bottom lip trembled with sadness knowing all the responsibility for it was his own. 

“You’ll find someone,” He nodded with a reassuring smile, although sadness was all that Y/n could see. “Someone far better than me who will treat you like you should have been treated. I promise you this world has a lot more to offer than what I was able to give you.” Both of them cracked the smallest smiles at one another, as it finally dawned on the pair that this was actually it. There had been a couple of fights that they had in the past that had lead them to having a short break, normally it was no longer than a week and it’d end with both of them apologising profusely and realising how stupid the entire ‘fight’ had been. However this time it felt far more permeant, for it was. Jay was married, it still didn’t feel right to admit but Y/n knew she couldn’t hide from the truth. There was no going back to how it was, never again. 

Taking his hands off his face, she kept them in her own looking down at them and stopping her gaze on the thick metal ring that was a constant reminder of the blonde that was back home waiting for him. Jay watched hesitantly, not sure what was happening as his hands were being comfortably held in a way only Y/n could hold them. It reminded him of the early days of their relationship, where they’d lay in bed late at night, her tucked in his sides and she would trace the patterns of her palms telling him what each like was and what it meant for his future. Sometimes he’d find it difficult to listen for the sight of her stole his attention every time. She was so beautiful, she still was. There was no other woman like Y/n Y/l/n he’d decided long ago.

“You should probably get back. She must be worried.” Y/n whispered, gently placing Jay’s hands back onto his knees. They both turned back to face the night and away form each other, neither of them making a move to get up or distance themselves. They knew this wasn’t ‘goodbye’, the little girl that was sound asleep in the house assured that much. They would be in one another’s life for the rest of time, perhaps why it was that much harder to process. They didn’t know how to me ‘Jay’ and ‘Y/n’ for they had always been ‘Jay and Y/n’. “I’m-,” Y/n broke the silence, stopping as she choked on her words. Eyes not moving from looking ahead, despite Jay turning to look at her again. “I’m happy that you are happy.” She finally got out, glancing over at him for a moment she flashed him a miniature sad but honest and genuine smile. “I’m happy that she makes you happy.”

And without giving time Jay to respond, Y/n was on her feet walking back towards the door. Giving him one final look from where he sat, she walked back inside wordlessly and locked the door behind her, Jay listening to the lock click shut. It was done, he decided, this was her goodbye.

#jay halstead fanfic #jay halstead fanfiction #jayhalstead #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead #Jay Halstead fic #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead x you #jay #cpd #chicago pd #halstead #haileyupton #hailey #upstead #upton #hailey upton #chicagopd #chicago one #chicago police

[amsgrey]

https://at.tumblr.com/amsgrey/could-i-submit-a-request-for-a-halstead-sister/cn5axy27b7e5 i think this was my request! And i loved your drabble. Didnt even know I needed a Jay troll in my life 🥰

oh yay! I'm so glad you liked it!! For whatever reason, I couldn't write angsty Jay that day so Jay being a troll was the next best thing. Thank you for your request and for letting me know that you liked it!

Blind Date has fast become one of my favourite things I've written in a while because of how ridiculous it is lol.

#chicago pd x reader #chicago med imagine #chicago pd imagine #chicago med #will halstead x reader #jay halstead x reader #chicago pd #will halstead #jay halstead #jay halstead imagine #halsead!sister #hailey upton #cpd #one chicago