#cozy lil family for the holidays :') | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

javiscigarette · 5 months

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Silent Night

Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: You’re home for the holidays and Joel isn't gonna let a drinking contest or a house full of people stop him.

Warnings: PWP ofc, established relationship, mentions of drinking/alcohol, having to keep quiet?, oral (f&m receiving), thigh grinding, creampie, breeding kink, come play, getting caught, I think that's all lmk if I missed anything

w/c: 6.6k

a/n: hiii everyone! I am in fact alive! I'm finally on break from school and this is just a lil something I wrote real quick bc I've been in the holiday spirit since before October even ended hehehe :) Anyway, thank u to the actual loml @undrthelights for beta reading and finding the perfect pics!! It's nice to be back! Please leave a comment letting me know if you liked it, support is what keeps writers going!! Love u all!!

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Your hips grind a little harder against his thigh, a soft sight falling from your lips as he licks and sucks at the spot under your ear that drives you absolutely wild. “I don't think I can be quiet” you whisper, gasping softly when his tongue swipes over your pulse. "You can" he mumbles against the side of your neck, the vibrations of his voice and his warm breath against your skin sending burning hot sparks down your spine. “You can do whatever I ask, can’t you baby?”

You can hear them downstairs, muffled sounds of Joel and several other of your family members talking and laughing while they sip on the fancy whiskey that your dad was saving for the occasion. You opted out of it, quickly taking up the offer of the first hour or two of alone time you’ve had since you arrived at your parents house two days ago instead. You figured Joel could use the time too, talking with your dad and uncles and cousins about whatever men talk about when they’re doing whiskey tasting in the mancave of a basement.

You managed to avoid getting roped into watching a shitty Hallmark Christmas movie with the rest of your family or helping them prep for the big dinner tomorrow. After successfully sneaking away to your old childhood bedroom that’s now redecorated as a simple guest room, you're left with nothing to do besides relax. First up was a long shower with the water so hot you nearly scalded your skin, and now you’re cozied up in bed, nose buried deep in the middle of your book while the rest of the house buzzed with muted background noise.

Time passes without you noticing, too engrossed in your book to keep track, but eventually the bedroom door creaks open, pulling you back to reality. You’re about to tell off whoever is at the door for interrupting you, but you immediately soften when Joel slips inside, quietly closing the door behind him.

He looks so sweet, wrapped up in a thick dark brown sweater, his curls flopping over his forehead, a light dusting of pink on his cheeks and the bridge of his nose with a lopsided smile. His eyes are soft, warm, and a bit glassy as he looks at you like you’re the best thing he ever did see.

"Think your dad is trying to kill me" he says, his words slurring just a bit as he crosses the room over to the bed.

You giggle, watching him plop down on the bed on his back, his head rolling over to look at you, "Are you surprised? He does this to you every year."

It's true, every holiday at your parents house, your dad insists on the whiskey "tasting", which is really just him pouring heavy handed shots and glasses and seeing who's going to be the last one to tap out. Usually it's just him and his brothers in the end, hashing out some decades old sibling rivalry in the form of a drinking contest. And ever since the first time you brought Joel home for the holiday five years ago, your father has insisted on dragging him down there and challenging him too.

The first year was the worst with Joel not heeding any of your warnings about how much liquor your dad would actually push on him. Joel was so sick by the end of the night that he made best friends with the toilet and passed out on the couch, then spent most of the next morning with a massive hangover, apologizing profusely to your dad about it who just laughed and said that he can try again next year.

Thankfully, Joel knows his limits now and has made peace with the fact that he'll never beat your dad at his own game. It doesn't mean that the challenge doesn't still stand.

"No" he mumbles, a dopey smile spreading across his face, "Guess I jus' never expect him to pour shots big enough to knock out a horse"

"How many did you have this time?" You ask, bookmarking your place in the book before setting it aside, sitting up a little straighter and adjusting the pillows behind your back.

"Jus' three."

"Oh, so you are just a lightweight then?"

"I'm not a fuckin' lightweight" he grumbles with a dramatic pout.

You laugh as you turn to lay on your side, propping yourself up on your elbow. Your hand instinctively falls to his hair, a small content sigh falling from his lips as your fingertips skate across his hairline and glide through his soft curls. scooting closer to him and reaching down to run your fingers through his hair, "Okay, baby" you hum, smiling when his eyes fall shut as your nails gently scratch his scalp, "If you say so."

Joel melts under your touch, like a cat basking in the sun, a lazy little grin on his face and a dreamy, far off look in his eyes. His face is still flushed, the tips of his ears and the tops of his cheeks a rosy shade of pink, his lips slightly parted, a few more stray curls falling across his forehead. He looks absolutely gorgeous, and the soft, tender look in his eyes when he finally looks back up at you melts you from the inside out.

You cup the side of his face in your hand and ;ean in to press a lingering kiss to his forehead. "You're so cute when you're drunk" you murmur, moving kissing his cheek.

"M'not drunk"

You pull back to look him in the eye, smiling, "Sure you're not"

"I'm not" he whines, "M'just a lil' tipsy."

"Alright" you hum, pressing a quick kiss to his pouty lips.

Joel follows your mouth with the softest whine when you start to pull back, his large hand cupping the back of your head, holding you still while he kisses you, needy, but still so sweet. The taste of whiskey is heavy on his tongue as it slides against yours, a soft, satisfied noise rumbling in his chest when you part your lips further, kissing him deeper.

When he finally lets you break the kiss, you're left just a little breathless and dazed, a giddy feeling swirling low in your belly. His pupils are blown when he looks up at you, his lips spit slick and plump, a lopsided smile on his face. He turns a little more on his side facing you, his fingers fiddling with the hem of your t-shirt until his hand slips easily underneath like it was meant to be there. The warmth of his palm smoothing up and down the curve of your spine is soothing, his fingers gently tracing over your ribs and the dip of your waist, the slight scratch of his calluses over your skin sending a shiver down your spine.

His eyes are half-lidded as he stares at your lips, licking his own. Realistically, you knew exactly what was going to happen as soon as he entered the bedroom. You know how he gets when he's like this, soft, sweet, and incredibly needy. With all the amount of times he tugged you into a bar bathroom after he's had a few, or when Tommy drops him off after a night out and he's already halfway to undressing you before the front door even shuts. You know he's trouble like this, but you can never deny him when he's looking at you like that, like you're the only thing he needs, the only thing he's ever needed.

He leans in to kiss you again, slow and sweet, his fingers splaying on your lower back and keeping you close. His mouth moves languidly against yours, the tip of his tongue tracing your bottle lip and his teeth sinking in the slightest bit to nip and tug, pulling a desperate little sound out from the back of your throat.

He sighs at the small sound and starts to lean into you more, using his weight to roll you over until you're flat on your back with him hovering above you, his forearms on either side of your head with his knees bracketing your hips. The kisses grow hungrier, wetter, more insistent, his mouth moving against yours like he's trying to breathe the very air from your lungs.

He shifts a bit and you moan softly into his mouth when his thigh slots between yours, the firm muscle of his thigh pushing right up against the apex of your thighs, the perfect amount of pressure to make heat spark and smolder in your belly. He does it again, rocking his thigh up against you just a little harder, swallowing the needy whimper that you let out, the heat and friction making you ache.

You can’t help but grind against his thigh, the seam of your sweatpants pressing against the damp spot that’s already forming on your panties and digging into your clit just right. You’re chasing the growing pleasure, the firmness of his thigh and the intoxicating taste of whiskey on his soft lips mixed with the faint trace of his peppermint toothpaste. You’d give anything to have him, for him to take you, but the sounds of laughter and chatter coming from downstairs is a rude reminder of reality.

"Joel" you warn with absolutely no heat in your voice, his lips grazing the sensitive spot under your ear, "We can't.”

He ignores you for a beat, crashing his lips back on yours and kissing you until he needs to come up for air.

"We can" he says, his voice gravelly and thick with want, the deep rumble vibrating in his chest. "We're bein' real quiet"

His lips trail across the line of your jaw and up your cheek before landing on your mouth again. The slow, lazy drag of his tongue against yours makes you throb, another soft when escaping you and the muscles in your legs and stomach tightening as you make no effort to stop moving against his thigh.

“Everyone will hear us” you try feebly, knowing it’s futile.

Joel smirks against your lips, the bastard. “Nah. I’ll be quiet.”

You know he's a damn liar and a bad one at that. In what world could you be quiet with his hands and mouth on you, with his thick cock buried deep inside you, stretching you out and filling you up so good that your toes curl? And in what world could he be quiet, not running his mouth about how good you feel, how pretty you look stuffed full of him, how well you take him. You know exactly how it'll go, if the numerous failed previous attempts are anything to go by.

But then his lips are on the side of your neck, and you're forgetting why it matters. You let your eyes fall shut as his lips press gentle, wet kisses up and down the column of your throat, the stubble on his cheeks and chin scratching and tickling in the best way. You're quickly forgetting why this was a bad idea to begin with.

"You can" he mumbles against the side of your neck, the vibrations of his voice and his warm breath against your skin sending burning hot sparks down your spine. “You can do whatever I ask, can’t you baby?”

“I don’t- oh…”

The rest of your sentence dies on the tip of your tongue as he pushes his thigh against you, grinding it up against your core in a way that has your head spinning and toes curling, the pleasure sharp and delicious as it melts into your veins.

“That’s right” he murmurs, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of your mouth. “You’ll do whatever I say, huh?”

There’s a pause and when you open your eyes, his are dark, his pupils blown wide, the deep brown nearly swallowed whole. His hair is tousled and curlier than ever, a few loose strands hanging in his face. His lips are slightly parted, swollen, red, and sick and shiny from your kisses. He’s an absolute sight and you can’t help but nod, eager to do whatever he wants, whatever he asks, because god it’s always worth it.

His eyes crinkle a bit at the corners and the lopsided smirk on his face widens. He’s the fucking devil.

Just the thought of him taking you with the rest of the house full of your extended family is making your veins buzz, excitement bubbling low in your belly. But you're well aware of just how thin the walls are and how nosy some members of your family are and you can't fathom how awkward it would be to come down for breakfast the next morning after the whole house heard you getting absolutely railed.

"It’ll be okay" he assures, reading your thoughts, his hands slipping under your shirt again. The fabric bunches up over his wrists as he slides his palms up your torso to cup your breasts, his thumbs brushing over your nipples. "M’not gonna let anyone else hear you. Just me."

Fuck.

His simple words are enough to convince you, not that you needed much convincing in the first place. He had you wrapped around his finger and him around yours, and there was no way you were going to say no to what you know will come next. A jolt of electricity shoots down your spine and settles hot and heavy in the pit of your stomach. Your resolve breaks, your legs falling open further, letting him get even closer, and Joel lets out a soft, happy noise against your mouth.

"Atta girl" he hums, his voice rough and deep, "So good for me, aren't ya baby?"

"Always" you manage to reply, the word more of a sigh as you arch your back, his thumb teasing your nipple until it's pebbled and hard.

He gives into you easily, tugging your shirt up and over your head. His mouth lands on your chest as soon as it’s exposed, immediately licking and kissing across your collarbones and the swell of your breast. He noses along the valley between them, the coarse hair of his beard tickling your skin and making you giggle. You can feel him grinning against your skin before he nips and sucks at the supple flesh until a red mark rises to the surface.

You squirm beneath him, his leg still nestled perfectly between yours and pressing against you every time he shifts. The pressure is building in your gut, your clit aching and throbbing. The feeling is almost too much with his hot wet mouth now wrapped around your nipple, his tongue swirling around the stiff peak making it harder and harder for you to keep quiet.

“Joel,” you hiss, the word half warning and half plea.

“Hush, baby” he mumbles against your skin. His fingers replace his mouth, pinching and teasing your swollen, spit-slick nipple as he kisses across your chest to lavish your other nipple with the same attention.

“Gotta be quiet, remember?” he says when he pulls back, releasing your nipple with a wet pop. “Unless you want everyone hearin’ ya”

You open your mouth to say something in protest, to tell him that he’s making things a lot harder right now, but then he starts moving, sliding down the bed and the words die in your throat. The look he gives you as he settles on his stomach between your thighs is sinful, his eyes dark and mischievous, his lips pulled up into a smirk.

He hooks his fingers in the waistband of your sweats, slowly pulling them along with your panties down your legs, leaving you completely bare. Your stomach swoops at the sight of his eyes trained to your center and your thighs twitch, wanting to snap shut and hide. But his hands on both of your thighs keep you spread open for him. You swallow thickly, your breath catching in your throat, the anticipation building in the pit of your belly as your slick starts to drip down the cleft of your ass.

Joel’s mouth falls open slightly, a shaky breath escaping him. “Fuck, baby” he sighs, tongue darting out to lick his cherry red lips, his eyes glazing over. A small, content smile tugs at the corners of your mouth, a swell of pride blossoming in your chest. He looks wrecked, like a starving man eyeing his first meal, and the way he's looking at you so intently, like you're the best thing he's ever seen, the thing that's kept him alive all these years, is making your heart pound almost painfully in your chest.

“Fucking gorgeous,” he praises, his hand running along the inside of your thigh. “And all mine.”

Like he can’t wait another second, he’s leaning in and licking a long, wet stripe up your center, dragging his tongue through your folds from your leaking hole to your swollen, needy clit. The feeling of his tongue on you pulls a soft, broken sound from you. You clap your hand over your mouth as your head spins, a rush of pleasure washing over you making the muscles in your thighs and stomach twitch and flex.

He does it again and again, and every time his tongue flicks over the swollen bud, you let out a soft whine that sounds far too loud in the otherwise quiet room.

He groans against you, his mouth already wet and messy as he laps at your pussy like he's starving for it, like he would die without tasting you. His eyes are locked on yours, the look in them so dark and primal that it makes your walls clench, more slick freely leaking out of you and onto his tongue. He laps it up happily, his fingers digging into your hips, holding you steady as his mouth works your clit.

He lets out a quiet, breathy moan when you slide your hand through his hair once again, your fingers tangling in and pulling on the soft brown strands. His eyes flutter shut, a shuddery exhale falling from his parted lips, and the feeling of his warm breath fanning over your wet, sensitive center has you stifling another high pitched whimper.

You roll your hips up against his face, desperate for more, and he gets the hint, the flat of his tongue swiping up through your folds a few more times before he dips it into your entrance, pushing in and out while his nose nudges at your clit. You're writhing beneath him, tugging at his hair, trying so hard to be quiet but failing miserably, soft, desperate little noises pouring out of your mouth. You know he's loving it too, making no effort to keep your noises at bay, not giving a single fuck about who might hear.

He moans against your cunt, the vibrations making you jolt, your hips rolling up to meet him. You're panting, the hand that isn't buried in his hair gripping the sheets tight enough that your knuckles turn white, and your back arches when his tongue fucks in and out of you faster, rougher.

"Joel, fuck" you gasp, "I- I'm-

He growls, the sound muffled by your pussy, the vibrations and the feeling of his stubble dragging along your inner thighs making your toes curl, the familiar coil in your belly tightening, your thighs trembling.

He doubles down, bringing a hand between your legs to replace his tongue with two thick fingers sinking into you and curling up against that spot inside you that has you seeing stars, his tongue circling your clit while his fingers pump in and out of you, his mouth and hand working in tandem to pull you apart.

"Fuck, I'm close" you whimper, his fingers crooking against that spot inside of you, sending white hot fire coursing through your veins as your slick leaks down his fingers and into his palm like hot honey.

He hums, sucking your clit between his lips, and your legs clamp around his head, your hand tightening in his hair as your orgasm crashes over you, your back arching off the mattress, a muffled, broken moan spilling out from behind your hand. He fucks you through it, his tongue flattening out against your clit while the tips of his fingers rub against that sweet spot inside of you, sending more sparks of pleasure tingling up and down your spine.

When it's too much, when the sensitivity makes tears prick in the corners of your eyes, you make a feeble attempt to push him away. He pulls back, sitting up on his knees, his chin and cheeks wet with your slick, his pupils blown so wide that the brown is almost completely swallowed up by black. He stares at you, his gaze so heavy and intense that it makes another shiver run down your spine.

"You're not being very quiet" he smirks as he moves off the bed to stand up.

You roll your eyes, still coming down from the aftershocks, your thighs quivering, "Yeah, no shit" you mutter, propping yourself up on your elbows.

He chuckles as he pulls off his sweater and the t-shirt underneath it before he starts unbuckling his belt and working on his jeans. You sit up, shuffling closer to the edge of the bed, reaching out and batting his hands away, taking over and quickly unfastening the button and pulling the zipper down.

He doesn't protest, letting you push his jeans and boxers down his legs until he kicks them all the way off. Your mouth waters at the sight of his thick, hard cock hanging heavy between his legs, flushed a deep red with slippery precum beading at the tip. You reach out, wrapping your hand around the base and taking a moment or two to revel in the familiar weight and warmth of him in your hand.

He shudders, a low moan rumbling in his chest, his eyes slipping shut as his hand moves to cup the back of your head. He watches you intently as you take your time, lazily stroking him, rubbing the pad of your thumb over the leaking tip and tracing the throbbing veins that run along the sides. His breathing grows heavy, his jaw clenching and his stomach muscles twitching as he tries so hard not to buck his hips up into the loose circle of your fist.

"C'mon, sweetheart" he pleads, the words leaving his mouth as a low, breathless groan, "Get me all nice and wet for you."

He doesn't have to ask twice. You lean forward and you dart your tongue out to lap up the bead of precum, humming at the salty, bitter taste of it, swirling the flat of your tongue over the head of his cock, your hand pumping the rest of his shaft. His breath catches in his throat, a stuttered curse falling from his lips when you dip your tongue into the slit, teasing more precum out.

He groans, his grip on the back of your head tightening, urging you to take him into the warm, wet heat of your mouth. You sink down, flattening your tongue and taking him all the way until he hits the back of your throat, the tip of his cock brushing against the roof of your mouth. You breathe through your nose, hollowing your cheeks, swallowing around him, and the deep, guttural groan that he lets out has you squirming, slick leaking out of your cunt and onto the sheets below.

"There ya go" he pants, his head lolling back, "Oh, baby, that's it. S'fuckin' perfect."

You pull off, a string of spit and precum connecting his cock to your bottom lip, and you look up at him through your lashes.

"Need to be quiet" you remind him, "Or else I'll stop"

He lets out a shaky breath and nods, swallowing hard, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. He's not used to keeping quiet, not used to not telling you how good you feel, not used to not begging you to let him cum in that low, raspy tone that never fails to make you weak.

"I'll be good," he whispers, breathless and needy. "Promise."

Your stomach swoops at his words, arousal burning bright in your belly. Unable to stay away for much longer, you lean forward, pressing a soft kiss to the head of his cock. His hips jerk, another drop of precum leaking out. You lick it up, swirling your tongue around the sensitive, swollen tip before sinking down again. You take him into the wet heat of your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and swallowing around him, bobbing your head slowly and steadily.

He bites his lip hard enough to draw blood trying with all his might to keep his noises in as you drool all over his cock. He can't take his eyes off you, watching the way he disappears into the slick heat of your mouth. You look so pretty with your lips wrapped around him, spit dripping down his cock and leaking out the corners of your mouth while your eyes water as you take him as far as you can.

You take him deeper, and you swallow, your throat convulsing around him, and the way his whole body shudders makes you smile, proud of the effect you have on him. He's so big and thick, and you both know you can't fit him all the way down your throat, but seeing you try your best is enough to make his thighs start to shake.

His cock hits the back of your throat again and again, the tip dipping into the soft, warm, tight space, and Joel's breathing is getting heavier and faster, his jaw clenched and his eyebrows knitted together.

"Shit" he grits out under his breath, "That's it, sweetheart. That's fuckin' it."

The praise goes straight between your legs, a fresh wave of slick leaking out of you and it's too tempting to resist, so you slip your hand between your thighs and rub circles around your clit, moaning softly around his cock.

He hisses, his eyes snapping down, watching your hand disappear between your legs.

"Are you touchin' yourself?" he asks, the words coming out rough and choked, his eyebrows raised.

You nod, sliding a finger into yourself, and you pull off his cock, panting, a thin strand of spit connecting the head to your bottom lip.

"Can't help it" you whine pathetically, your voice already raspy from how far his cock had been down your throat.

Joel groans, his dick twitching, and he's had enough. He takes a step back, and you let go, a little confused and worried that you've done something wrong. But he just takes hold of your arms and yanks you off the bed, his strong hands easily manhandling you, and then he's pushing you, turning you around and bending you over the side of the mattress.

"Oh" you breathe out, bracing yourself on your forearms, arching your back, sticking your ass up in the air.

You don't have to wait long for him to move. His hand is smoothing over your ass, the other one guiding his cock towards your sopping cunt. He teases the tip between your folds, spreading your slick and dragging his head over your swollen clit a few times before lining himself up and sinking in.

You bite down on the inside of your cheek to keep quiet, letting out a stuttering breath, the familiar, delicious burn of his thick cock stretching you out making your eyes roll back into your head. You've made peace with the face that you'll never be used to his size. It'll always be too much, the feeling of him pushing into, forcing your walls to make room for him will always make you clench and shiver.

He's got his hands on your hips, holding you steady as he bottoms out, his hips flush with the curve of your ass with the tip of his cock pressed against your cervix. He holds himself there for a moment, both of you adjusting to the feeling, and you're trying so hard not to moan, to keep your noises muffled by the mattress, and you know Joel's struggling too, his jaw clenched tight and his brow furrowed.

"Good girl" he whispers, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your hips, "Taking my cock so well, aren't ya?"

You nod, whimpering, your fingers twisting in the sheets.

He pulls back and thrusts back in, setting a steady, slow rhythm, the wet slide of his cock making the most obscene sounds. And it's driving you crazy, the need to let out loud, your chest burning with the effort of keeping your noises in. He keeps his pace slow, not wanting to make more noise with his hips snapping against your ass. It’s nearly tortuous though, the drag of his cock in and out of you so slow that you can feel every ridge as he takes his sweet time. You can only handle it for a few moments before the tingling hints of pain from the stretch subside and the burning need for him to fuck you senseless takes over.

"Joel" you whine, "Faster, please."

He leans over you, his front pressed against your back, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. "You're not gonna stay quiet if I do," he says, his voice deep and gravelly, "Just take what I give you, sweetheart."

You're so worked up, the slow pace makes you even more desperate for him, and you can't help it, you need more, and you reach a hand back and grab his hip, urging him to speed up.

"I-I'll try" you promise, "Please, just- Just fuck me, Joel, please"

He hesitates, but the way you're squirming beneath him is so tempting, and the way his cock is throbbing and dripping inside of you is telling him that he needs more too.

Before you can say anything else, he's pulling back, the thick, heavy weight of him sliding out of you. You whimper at sudden empty feeling but you don't have time to complain before he's flipping you over onto your back and scooting you up the bed before climbing on top of you. You can’t help but notice how big he is, the muscles flexing smoothly in his strong arms that box you in as he hovers above you, nearly encompassing your entire body underneath his. His mouth is on yours before you can even blink, his tongue slipping past your lips and kissing you like his life depends on it.

He settles between your legs, his hips nestled in the cradle of your thighs, his cock dragging along your clit again warm and heavy, and you gasp, the sound swallowed by his mouth. You're squirming again, desperate to feel him stretch you out more and he takes mercy on you, reaching between your bodies and grabbing the base of his cock, guiding the thick head towards your entrance.

"Gotta be quiet, baby" he warns, his eyes boring into yours as he looks down at you. "Those pretty noises are just for me, yeah? Can't have anyone hearin' 'em."

You nod frantically and the next second he's pushing in, the fat head of his cock forcing its way into you and bottoming out in one smooth motion. You let out a gasp that's definitely too loud but Joel is quick to remedy it, his hand coming up to cover your mouth, his fingers splaying across your cheek.

"Shh" he shushes you, his hips rolling, the slow, lazy drag of his cock against your walls making you clench around him. Your eyes roll back, your back arching as his hand stops all the whiny little sounds you can't help but make. He continues to fuck you slow and deep, his cock sliding in and out of your soaking wet cunt, the filthy sounds of skin slapping against skin echoing softly in the room.

You can't take your eyes off him, watching his eyes squeeze shut, the muscles in his arms and shoulders flexing as he fucks you, his brows knitted together and his teeth sunk into his bottom lip. He looks beautiful like this, sweat glistening on his skin, his jaw tight, and his eyes shut tight, his mouth hanging open with his breaths coming out in soft, barely audible pants.

"Mmm" he hums, his hips picking up speed, his cock pushing impossibly deeper. "You feel so fuckin' good, baby. Fuck."

You reflexively clench around him and a shudder runs through his whole body.

"Gettin' real tight" he pants, "Tryna milk the cum right outta me, huh? Tryna make me fill up that pretty pussy?"

You whimper into his palm, your pussy fluttering, a fresh wave of slick coating his cock, and he groans, his hips picking up speed.

"S'what you want?" he asks in a hushed tone, his hand still pressed firmly over your mouth. "You want me to fill you up? Make a mess of that pretty pussy? Breed you until you're fuckin' stuffed, baby girl?"

Your back arches off the bed, the coil in your belly so tight that you think you might pass out. He's rambling, his thrusts losing rhythm, his breathing getting ragged and choppy, his chest heaving and his thighs shaking.

"That's it" he coaxes when you tighten around him even more, "Can feel it, can feel how close you are. Go on, baby, cum on my cock. Wanna feel that tight, wet cunt cum all over my cock, please, baby."

His hips snap forward, his cock pushing deep into you, the tip rubbing against the spongy spot deep inside you that makes the coil in your belly finally snap. Your eyes roll back, a muffled, broken moan falling from your lips as your entire body convulses, your orgasm washing over you and making your toes curl as your walls flutter around his cock buried to the hilt inside of you.

Joel lets out a deep, low groan, his hips stuttering as he fucks you through your orgasm. His hand slips away from your mouth so he can grip your hips with both hands, his fingers digging into the soft flesh, holding you in place so he can chase after his own release. His chest is tight as he holds in his grunts and groans, but it’s barely any use with the lewd noises that fill the room as your pussy gushes around him, your slick leaking past the tight seal of your walls around him and dripping down to his balls.

"Oh, shit, baby. Christ,” he chokes out, his stomach muscles clenching as his hips slam into yours, his cock pushing impossibly deeper and harder. “Keep makin’ a mess, keep lettin’ me feel it. That’s it. Fuckin’ hell.”

You can feel his cock starting to throb inside of you and you know he’s close. And you can’t stop the words from leaving your mouth, the need to let him know just how good he’s making you feel is destroying any bit of common sense.

“Want you to fill me up,” you whine. “Please, Joel, wanna feel it.”

That’s all it takes. His jaw clenches, his nose scrunching as his eyes squeeze shut. His cock twitches and pulses as he buries himself as deep as he can get before spilling into, filling you with thick, hot ropes of his cum. His hips jerking and stuttering d you clench around him, squeezing and milking him for everything he has while he buries his face in the crook of your neck, muffling his broken, ragged moans against your skin.

"So good,” he whimpers. “Fuckin’ perfect.”

The praise goes straight between your legs and you wrap your arm around his shoulders, trying to pull him closer. He lifts his head, his palm resting on your cheek as he lifts his head and presses his lips against yours, kissing you languidly. His hips rock back and forth lazily, pushing his cum in as deep as he can get it. You melt into the bed underneath him, the only things keeping you tethered to the earth being your fingers combing through his hair and your legs tightening around his waist.

When he finally pulls away, he rests his forehead against yours, and you're both left panting, trying to catch your breath. You listen to the muffled sounds of people downstairs, the movie playing and their drunken voices filtering in through the door, and Joel must be thinking the same thing because he chuckles.

"Well" he says, his thumb rubbing back and forth over your cheekbone, "I don't think anyone heard us."

"You better hope they didn't" you retort, a grin on your face. Joel rolls his eyes. "That's a weird way to say thank you" he teases. You start to laugh, but the sound dies in your throat, morphing to a whimper instead when he starts pulling out his softening cock.

"Joel" you whine, but he doesn't stop. "Joel, please. It's-"

He's not listening, he's too focused on the way his cock looks when he pulls out. The tip slips out of you, and the rest follows, and his eyes widen as he watches a string of thick, sticky cum stretch from the tip of his cock to your cunt. It breaks, falling to your thigh, and he licks his lips. He can't tear his eyes away, watching the way your cunt flutters, and his cum starts to drip out, running down your slit, the obscene sight making Joel's spent cock twitch.

"Shit" he mutters under his breath, "Ain't that a pretty picture."

He reaches down, dragging a finger through the mess of cum and slick and gathering it on his finger before pushing it back into your cunt. You clench around the digit before he sighs and pulls it back out.

"Gonna be leaking all day tomorrow" he murmurs, almost to himself.

You whimper, the thought of having him dripping out of you all day like that has renewed arousal already seeping into your veins.

“It’s okay” he assures you, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. “I’ll take care ya. Clean you up and put my cock back in right where it belongs, how’s that sound, hm?”

You sigh, nodding, a wave of fatigue washing over you. “Sounds perfect,” you agree.

You watch as he climbs off of you and starts to move, but a sudden, sharp sound of knuckles knocking on the other side of the bedroom door makes you both freeze.

“You two are fucking disgusting!” the voice of your cousin calls out, accompanied by the sound of a couple other people giggling and laughing. “Put some goddamn clothes on and get down here!”

You and Joel exchange glances, his eyes wide and apologetic, his cheeks burning bright red as you give him a look that says I told you so.

“Alright, alright, we’re coming” he yells back.

“We’re coming! Oh, yeah we’re coming!” another voice teases, the sound of everyone bursting out laughing quickly follows.

“We’re never doing that again” Joel mutters and you can’t help but chuckle.

“Yeah right. Keep telling yourself that”

Thank you for reading!!! Plsss let me know if you enjoyed hehehe

#joel miller smut #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller one shot #joel miller fic #the last of us #tlou fic #joel miller #pedro pascal characters

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loaksky · 5 months

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i don’t celebrate thanksgiving, but could you guys imagine college!ellie taking roommate!reader home to jackson because she’d be alone for the holiday? short lil oneshot to get back into the groove of writing. do i hate this? yes.

recommended songs: alabama haint — penny and sparrow + what once was — her’s

warnings: language, a few brief mentions of family issues, suggestive content (kissing among other things) + mild sexual content, a lil misunderstanding and angst bc who am i if i don’t ??, CONFESSIONS because i’m a sloot for them. i think that’s it? not proofread ofc heh

it’s the weekend before thanksgiving, sunday to be exact, and ellie’s packing her backpack for joel’s. the energy in the the room’s a little off despite the fact that you’re normally reserved, and even though the two of you have only met this year, ellie’s learned to read you pretty well.

“you goin’ home for thanksgiving?” ellie asks absently, trying to make small talk as she rolls a sleep shirt and some pajamas haphazardly to stuff at the top of her bag.

there’s a pause that makes her brain itch before she sees the way you shake your head from where you’re hunched over a textbook at your desk.

“my family’s all over the place right now,” you answer honestly.

and ellie doesn’t know if you mean that figuratively or literally, but the lack of emotion in your voice tells her that maybe she shouldn’t pry. she can’t help it, though. because you’re her sweet and quiet roommate who’d been serious (and maybe a little scary) at first, but turned out to be a goofball with a little bit of prodding.

so seeing you like this, checked out and maybe a little stressed, ellie treads cautiously.

“so you’re gonna stay here?” she asks.

you don’t even spare her a glance.

“yeah.” your shoulders shrug. “no point in dropping so much money for a plane ticket if i’m going to be sitting home alone anyways.”

ellie makes a noise in the back of her throat and you throw look over your shoulder.

“sorry,” you offer softly, smile sheepish. “that was a little depressing.”

ellie shakes her head.

“no, i get it,” she assures you. “my family’s not really...”

you blink at her as she trails off.

“conventional? i guess?”

another quiet blankets the two of you and ellie’s speaking before she can even filter through the repercussions of her next words.

“you’re always welcome to...y’know...come with,” she says, scratching the back of her neck. “it’s not even a two hour drive.”

you hope ellie can’t tell that your cheeks are burning.

“you don’t have to, of course,” ellie blabbers. “but joel’s cool, so’s my uncle and his wife. it’d be nice, i think. and jackson’s pretty fun around this time of year...”

“i don’t wanna imp—”

ellie breathes a laugh.

“don’t,” she warns you, tips of her ears burning. “you’re more than welcome, seriously.”

it’s how you end up in the passenger seat of ellie’s old 4runner, heater on blast while sublime plays on the radio.

the car ride had consisted of ellie munching on cold fries the two of you had picked up from mcdonald’s before the interstate and you finally opening up about how your parents are divorced and how the holidays are a lot more stressful than they are pleasant.

ellie really feels for you, definitely knows the feeling losing her mom at a pretty young age and being adopted in middle school by a single, bereaved father. she tells you that they’d found each other when they needed the other the most.

and you don’t particularly know why you’re so nervous when ellie finally takes the exit off the interstate and you guys make your way through the suburbs. perhaps it’s the domesticity of meeting her family, or that you’re over a hundred miles away from familiarity, but your fingers are trembling when she turns into the neighbourhood and cozy brick homes line the frost-laden streets.

she’s pulling up and parking on the curb in front of a warm two-story that has a blue pickup truck and a gold SUV in the driveway when she notices.

“hey, hey,” she whispers, noticing the way you’re wringing your hands to stop the shaking. “you okay?”

her hands are warm when they close over yours and her thumbs is brushing over your skin soothingly.

“i’m being dumb,” you admit.

ellie’s eyes are crystal clear under the setting sun.

“don’t say that,” she says softly. “you wanna take a second?”

you swallow and shake your head.

“no, we can go,” you assure her.

she’s searching your face for any tell, but when you offer her a soft smile, she’s leaning back in her seat and nodding. before she completely pulls away, you’re stopping her.

“thanks, ellie,” you say gently. “this was really kind of you.”

she flashes you an easy smile, squeezes your hand a final time before climbing out of the car and rounding the front to help you out.

and truthfully, you realize you were nervous for nothing. because when the door swings open to reveal an older man aged with smile lines and greying hair, ellie seemingly softens infinitely.

“hey, kiddo,” he greets, crushing her in a hug so tight, she’s spluttering out a laugh.

“joel, i can’t breathe,” she wheezes.

you’re standing there awkwardly, backpack slung over your shoulder when joel finally loosens his hold on ellie and glances over her head.

“who’s this?” he asks, but the smile he wears is knowing.

“________, my roommate,” she introduces quickly, cheeks warming an awful shade of red as she begs every force above that joel won’t blow her cover.

because, okay, maybe ellie’s talked about you on the phone way more times than she’d care to admit out loud. talked about how intimidating you were at first, then graduated to talking about how you were actually so cool. and maybe she’d brought up the fact that she thought you were pretty. like...super pretty. and that maybe she was crushing a teensy bit.

“nice to meet you,” joel replies simply, sparing ellie this time around.

you let go of the breath you hadn’t realized you were holding onto, offering a smile that makes ellie wonder if she’ll survive the week with you in such a new proximity.

“nice to meet you, too,” you almost whisper, relaxing as he reaches for the backpack slung over your shoulder.

“here, let me take this for you,” he says.

and it doesn’t take you long to realize where ellie gets it from. her kind spirit and fierce yet gentle heart. joel is soft-spoken, a little rough around the edges, but a warm energy that radiates through the home he’s made for himself and ellie.

it makes infinitely more sense enter tommy and maria, her uncle and aunt who tell you the silliest stories about the starry-eyed girl in her youth over dinner. who bring out her boisterous laughter when they sing old 80’s music over dishes and evening TV.

“your family’s so cool,” you say in awe, wrapped in one of her coats she’d dug out of the closet under the stairs.

you’re nursing a mug of hot chocolate that steams in the icy air of jackson on her back porch.

ellie breathes out a little laugh.

“they’re something,” she jokes, watching you over the rim of her mug.

you make her heart thud hard in her chest as she takes you in, bundled in pieces of her that make her think that she wouldn’t mind making you hers.

“i miss times like these,” you whisper.

ellie shifts closer, catching you by surprise when her thumb swipes over the curve of your top lip.

“sorry,” she hums quietly. “you had...uh...”

you let out a hollow laugh and shake your head, tell her that it’s fine as a silence blankets the two of you.

“i’m glad you like them,” ellie admits softly. “sometimes i get a little self-conscious because, y’know, everyone expects a nuclear family and...”

“i’d take this any day,” you assure her, and the true implication of your words is latent, but something hopeful pricks her tummy.

i’d take this any day...with you.

and locking eyes with you usually scares her, usually makes her queasy with nerves because there’s always something searing in your gaze, but it’s like you see each other for the first time, no barriers.

ellie’s so close she can feel the warmth of your body coiling and drawing her in. her breath’s caught in her throat as she chances a glance at your mouth and her own lips begin to tingle.

she’s on the brink of asking if she can kiss you, but the back door is sliding open and two familiar faces are surfacing.

“williams!”

ellie’s daze melts away as she shifts to put distance between the two of you at the arrival of her friends.

“jess!” she calls. “dina!”

the moment clings heavy, but ellie writes it off. maybe she’s jumping the gun, reading too much into tender moments. it’s colored on your face, though, as she stands to meet her friends halfway, that the two of you are tethered and you feel it too.

ellie’s friends are another reflection of her character. they take you under their wings in the days leading up to the holiday with jesse teaching you to ride his minibike and dina telling you stories of their childhood while excitedly painting your nails pretty shades of autumnal colors because both jesse and ellie vehemently decline.

joel graciously relinquishes his kitchen to the four of you the day before thanksgiving. lets you guys gather around and bake an array of different desserts for tomorrow’s dinner over a few beers and winecoolers.

perhaps ellie’s a lightweight, you come to find, when she’s a lot more giggly and rosy-cheeked than she’d ever let anyone see. she’s feeling a little bubbly and you definitely don’t help the fact when you gaze upon her so fondly as you smear away the streaks of flour across her cheek.

jesse and dina are merely observers, watching with knowing grins as ellie practically melts against your touch.

and as the desserts cool on the kitchen island and the two of see jesse and dina out, ellie can’t keep her hazy eyes off of you. the two of you vote on a movie and she’s taking her usual seat in the right corner of the couch. it starts out with the two of you on opposite ends, but as the film plays, the space between you and ellie diminishes and she swears you can hear the way her heart’s pounding behind her ribcage with your ear pressed to her chest.

it’s uncharted territory considering ellie’s never been big on physical touch and she can’t even be sure that there's anything there, but you have to know. ellie’d mentioned past girlfriends, wasn’t really subtle when it came to wandering eyes on campus, hell, she’d even—

suddenly your arm’s tightening around the narrow of her waist and you’re nestling impossibly closer and christ, ellie can’t help herself when the coarse pads of her fingertips brush your jaw to catch your attention.

your gaze is illuminated by pixels and there’s a hitch in your breathing as you search her features for any hesitation. it’s long gone, you find, when ellie’s mouth is slotting yours, lips warm and tongue still flavored with sparkling wine.

ellie kisses like you’re air and she needs you to breathe. it’s almost embarrassing, way her body reacts to your proximity, how hot she us under the collar and achey as you move to straddle her. her fingertips are skimming down your spine, past the small of your back to take a—

your teeth sinking in the plump of her bottom lip and the way your soft palms find purchase against the rigid expanse of her tattooed abdomen is sobering. has her bony fingers cupping the flesh of your jaw.

“wait, wait,” she whispers, chest heaving and breaths shallow as she looks up at you.

the dust is starting to settle and you take in ellie’s kiss-bitten lips, swollen and slick. her pupils are blown wide, sweater riding up to reveal reddened flesh like you’ve branded her. you lean back.

“fuck,” you whisper. “fuck, i’m so sorry.”

ellie’s mouth is drying.

“why are you sorry?” she whispers.

you seem to chew on your words, eyes teary and expression scared.

“why are you sorry?” ellie repeats, not caring enough to mask the hitch in her voice as she pries.

“you’re always so fucking good to me, ellie,” you whimper. “you’re a great roommate and an even better friend and—”

ellie blows out a deep sigh, falls slack against the cushions as she levels you with an indiscernible look in her eye.

“don’t do that,” she breathes.

“ellie.”

“c’mon, you know me better than that,” she says, tone tinged with annoyance. “you don’t have to let me down easy. you can be honest.”

and color you confused because how couldn’t she fathom that you’ve fallen and head first at that? she’s reading it all wrong, you realize, when defeat shutters over her pretty face.

“i—”

the floorboards outside the den creak and ellie’s pushing you off just as the door squeaks open to reveal joel’s aging face.

he reads the room a moment, decides to blow by the sheen in your eyes and ellie’s rigid posture.

“tommy and maria are leaving, kiddo,” he says. “if you wanna say bye.”

ellie nods, stands and leaves you in the television-illuminated room.

you realize she won’t come back for you when the telltale sound of the front door closes and the stairs seem to groan under her weight.

it’s half past two in the morning when you slip from the den, glass of water condensating on a coaster as you try to collect yourself on the screened-in deck out back.

the icy chill stings your lungs, makes you gulp in breath after breath. the night’s starting to dawn you, the gravity of the situation overwhelming you enough to choke.

“fuck,” you whisper, that familiar feeling of dread squeezing your chest.

meanwhile, ellie can’t sleep. has been staring at the ceiling of her childhood bedroom for the past two and a half hours. you’re all she can think of. pliant curves of your body settling over hers to fit like you two were made for each other, the smell of your subtle perfume, the taste of your mouth.

and she wants to be annoyed, angry at the fact, but she’d brought you all the way here, extricated you from your comfort zone and showed you parts of her she wouldn’t dream of revealing to anyone else.

she recalls the resignation in your tone on the drive up, how you’d divulged the dysfunction of your family and the troubles you carried with you as a result. it’d be your first holiday with someone other than yourself for a while and she’d be damned if it soured because she couldn’t push her feelings aside.

the tv’s off and the blanket’s folded when she musters up enough courage to enter the den again, heart sinking to her ass when she slides back into the kitchen and finds that the sliding door to the back deck is cracked ever so slightly.

she’s seen you in a lot of ways these past eleven-odd months she’s known you, but she’s never seen you like this, hands over your heart and chest heaving like you’re trying to ground yourself.

when your watery gaze swings to her, ellie’s melting, cushion sinking as she settles next to you.

“sorry,” you whisper shakily. “i don’t—”

ellie’s shifting to face you, arms winding around your shoulders as one hand comes up to cradle the back of your head.

“let’s talk about it later,” ellie offers softly. “we can just go to bed for now and—”

“i really, really like you, ellie,” you say in one breath, and it has her body locking up, the audible catch of her inhale sounding near your ear.

“but?”

“no buts,” you admit. “just that i don’t want you to think that i kissed you because you’re being nice to me. well, i guess you’re always nice to me. it’s one of the reasons why i…”

and ellie doesn’t mean to tune you out, but you’re so fucking cute and so sweet and she shouldn’t have doubted you or herself because you’re hiccuping and shivering and—

you taste better the second time around. now ellie’s a little less unsure, still a little nervous because you’re the first girl to make her feel like this and she doesn’t want the bubble she’s built around the two of you in this corner of her little world to burst, but kissing you feels so right.

she’s dragging you back inside, past the den and up the stairs, and maybe the two of you do things you shouldn’t in her twin size bed in her childhood room when her dad’s only a few walls away, but she can’t help herself. not when you’ve always been an arm’s length away and she can finally have you.

it isn’t until the two of you lay under the dim glimmer of the glow-in-the dark stars pasted to her ceiling, her face pressed in your neck, that she says it.

“i really, really like you, too,” she whispers. “i realized i didn’t say it back.”

but it’s not like she needs to. you knew that already.

neng ©️2023

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams fic #ellie williams #ellie williams au #ellie williams tlou2

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thebearer · 5 months

Text

rosé flowing with your chosen family | carmen berzatto x reader|

anyways here's a blurb inspired by my lil friendsgiving i hosted and how i think it would be with carmen bc im delusional in my head lolz

"Carm, look at this for me." You frown, turning the bronzed pumpkin at the center of the table.

"Yeah, one sec," Carmen muttered, turning with the pot in his hand, stirring the whipped potatoes vigorously. "What am I looking at?"

"The table." You tilt your head to the side. "Should I just move the pumpkin? It's too much with the candles, right?" You huff, the tapered candles flickering in their brass holders.

"No, baby, looks nice. Leave it. We can move it if it gets too crowded." Carmen hummed, a tiny curl of his lips had your heart swooning. "Need to go get ready. It's six-thirty."

"I just have to put my clothes on." You wave him off, fixing a napkin so it was centered on the plate, each place card in it's assigned place. "Are you sure you don't need help?"

Carmen shot you a look, rolling his eyes playfully. "No, I got it, alright? Go get ready." He shook his head gently, pushing the asparagus around in the pan.

You scurried behind him, pinching his jean clad ass gently, grinning at how he jumped before pressing a kiss to Carmen's cheek that left him blushing.

Your first Friendsgiving hosted at your place. An apartment a little bigger than Carmen's old one, but still cozy and all your own- the two of you. What better way to spend your first holidays together than to invite your friends over?

You were fussing over the glazed carrots on the counter when Sydney arrived, always early. "Hey," She crept in awkwardly into the kitchen, her head poking around the corner. "I, uh, I brought a dessert."

"Wow, that looks amazing." You grin, taking the dish from her, hugging her briefly in greeting. "What is this?"

"It's-"

"-It's a champagne cake with whipped butter cream frosting and a light raspberry spread." Marcus finished, stepping in behind Sydney, balancing a bottle of wine and his coat. "Don't let her take all the credit. I made it."

"Ok, well, I told you to add the raspberry-"

"-Well, I was the one who made it and added it-"

"-Alright." Carmen huffed, his voice edging on the tone he used at work. "Glad you both are here, alright?. The cake looks amazing."

Marcus whistled dramatically, peering over at the food laid out on the counter tops. "Looks good in here, Chef." He grinned.

"Thanks." Carmen muttered, brushing the rolls with butter, checking the oven again.

"Do you guys want anything to drink?" You ask, pulling the fridge open. "I have rosé or wine or anything?"

"I'll take a glass of rosé." Sydney nodded, shedding off her coat and hanging it over the back of the couch.

"Yeah, better get some now." Carmen snorted lightly. "Before Alicia comes."

"I have her a backup bottle." You smirk, pulling out the bottle proudly. "Alicia and I were watching the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion, right? And she-" The door closed and you turned, your best friend walking in with a huge grin.

"-And she literally brought her own bottle of rosé." You laughed, shaking your head at her.

"I did." Alicia beamed, hugging you tightly. "Carmen, I promise I will not throw up or sob on your couch this time. I'm very stable now." She grinned at Carmen's huff of laughter.

The kitchen was packed, crammed at the table, laughing and swapping stories over the food. Carmen looked at you, the glow of the candles you insisted having to make it feel more homey- they did. How you were grinning, laughing at Fak and Richie bickering, giggling to your own friends and reminiscing.

For once, the holidays didn't feel like a chore. Carmen had been dreading this dinner, not the cooking or the setting up, but having people in his space. He didn't dare say anything, you were too excited and he'd never ruin your glee like that. Still, for him, the holidays were chaotic, everybody tense and scared.

Not here.

Not next to you, surrounded by all your friends.

Carmen finally got why people loved the holidays so much, why it was the most wonderful time of the year and all that. In his tiny apartment, sitting next to the love of his life, your hand holding his gently under the table, thumb swiping over his knuckles, squeezing it lightly when you'd look at him, eyes crinkling in a smile.

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lovelettersfromluna · 7 months

Text

Linger

Summary: Back home for the holidays after hooking up with your best friend, who you also happen to be madly in love with...what could possibly go wrong.

an: Look who managed to get the final part of a series in a manageable time, me!! This honestly would have been out way sooner but I ended up getting pretty sick, so I apologize for that. Im feeling better, and super inspired! I have some other stuff in the works for you all as well, bc I think you deserve to be spoiled 😌. Anyways! I hope you guys enjoy the last installment of this fic!! 🖤🖤🖤

Warnings: Smut!! MDNI!! 18+, Ellie and reader are both very sad and very stubborn, angst, hurt/comfort, alcohol usage, mention of marijuana, making out, pet names, oral (Ellie receiving), tribbing, let me know if I missed anything!

Part 1, part 2

Tag list: @eveshyper @mattm1964 @teawithnosugar @macaroni676 @ximtiredx @gold-dustwomxn @mina-281 @aethelwyneleigh27 @abbysmainbitch @lil-elliesgf @franreadss @fairyysoiree @r3wbeef @liizzygrant @elliewilliamsgf69 @mabelle-cherie @cauliflowerpatch @forelliesposts @lunasolac @nil-eena @pillowprincessleia @pedropascalsbbg @ellieswifeyy @lesbiantothemoonandback @dummysimp011 @miniaturebananadefendor @sweetpumpkins @thesmutconnoisseur @miksde @delicategirlie @sawaagyapong @thesevi0lentdelights @p4ison1vy @coxmicbabygirl @julibanana925 @viswifetotallyreal

The holidays had always been your favorite time of the year.

It always filled you with this warm, cozy, feeling every time you thought about it. Throughout all three hundred and sixty five days of the year, you looked forward to those last three months tucked away at the end of the year, that were filled with nothing but warm memories.

Ever since you had started college, you family made it a tradition of having you come back for the holidays. Right after halloween, you would practically race through the assignments you had until thanksgiving break before you were off to catch a flight to spend time with your family.

You and Ellie always went home together.

She was practically apart of your family, and you were practically apart of hers. If Joel wasn't knocking on your door with a half burnt pie with Ellie standing by his side, eager to play whatever new video came out that month, you and your family were making their way to the Miller house. It was just how things were, and you it was another reason why you loved the holidays so much.

But this year, things had changed.

The air only got colder with each passing day, nipping away at your skin and making it harder and harder to peel yourself from your warm bed every morning that you had class. It was like with each passing year, the colder months grew to be more bitter and unforgiving than the last.

It had been almost a month since you spoke to Ellie.

After everything that had happened at the party, the slew of emotions that brewed within the depths of your mind and soul was almost too much to bare.

After you passed out in Ellie's arm, the bliss you felt could not compare to anything else you had ever felt before. Out of all that you had done, every one you had ever been intimate with, there was no way they could ever hold a candle to the way Ellie made you feel that night. Her arms stayed wrapped around your body throughout the entire night, soft lips pressing sleepy kisses against your face and neck, her low voice mumbling sweet nothings into your ear between the hazy state that lies between sleep and wake.

All of it came together to create the single most euphoric experience you had ever come in contact with in your entire life. But but daylight, it was all ripped away.

As soon as your eyes opened, adjusting to the light shining into the foreign bedroom you slept in, you were confused. You weren't in your bedroom, you certainly weren't in your house, you started to struggle with finding things that you were familiar with.

The second you looked down and saw Ellie's face pressed against your chest, you had gotten what you asked for.

It made you seize up a bit, your body stiffening in the girls embrace as you slowly recalled what had happened the night prior. Images of Ellie slotted between your legs came flooding in, her face slick with your arousal, green eyes low and filled with lust, mumbling the filthiest things to you as she destroyed your core with her skilled tongue.

The memories alone made you whine.

The sound made Ellie groan in her sleep, the brunette humming softly as she stirred a bit in her sleep before she leaned in, pressing lazy, sleepy kisses against your throat as she nuzzled closer into you, seeking your warmth as she slowly came to.

"hmmm..whats the matter baby?" She mumbles out against your skin, her voice low and filled with that delicious gravel that only came with sleep. It makes you swallow thickly, taking a deep inhale as you still in her arms.

She was so comfortable, basking in the bliss that you felt mere moments ago. You could tell, from the relaxed muscles of her biceps, to the soft little hums that you felt against your neck, Ellie didn't have a care in the world, not when you were in her arms like this, not when she still had memories of the night prior running through her mind, painting a soft little smile on her pink lips

And truthfully? That made you feel even worse.

Your lack of a response makes her hum, as she blinked her green eyes open to stare up at you, pressing a soft kiss to your jaw. She saw the look on your face, she saw how it was nearly drained of all color. She was confused, because you both had such an amazing night together, there was no reason why you shouldn't be just as blissed out as she was.

"Baby? You with me?" She questioned once again, watching as you blink a few times, seemingly registering her words. You inhaled deeply, clearing your throat as you grabbed both of her arms, and began pulling them from around your body. Ellie frowned as she watched you, but not making any attempt to tighten her grasp and keep you close to her.

You didn't answer, you simply rolled out of bed and silently began grabbing your clothes that had been tossed around the bedroom, the fact alone made you frown further, because through the haze of your hangover, the exhaustion, and the overwhelming urge to crawl back into bed and let Ellie do whatever she wanted to you.

All you could think about, was Sofia.

Her pretty hair, her twinkling eyes, the little dimples she had at the corners of her lips. Her pretty face was the only thing that you could see in your mind. It was like her beauty was evading every corner of your brain, forcing herself to be known, to be acknowledged by you. For anyone, this would have most definitely been the normal thoughts that are linked to someone as beautiful as Sofia, but not for you.

Because you were moaning underneath her girlfriend a mere few hours ago.

You felt like you wee going to pass out. Your heart started to beat faster as the magnitude of what you did, what you let happen, finally began to settle in. It made you feel sick, and the back of your throat burned as hot tears threatened to spill past your eyes and onto your cheeks. How could you have been so stupid? How could you have ever let something like this happen? You were careless, and it was at the expense of someone else's feelings, someone else's relationship.

Through the racing thoughts that filled your head, and the pounding of your heart in your chest, you couldn't hear Ellie calling out for you multiple times. She was sat up on the bed, eyeing you as you rummaged through the bedroom to grab your belongings. She watched with furrowed eyebrows, and a gentle frown, trying to get you to simply look at her for a few minutes. Ellie knew you too well, and she knew that the quieter you got in times like this, the more you got trapped inside your own head.

She was losing you, and she knew that.

She called out your name once more, and through the graces of some unknown force, you heard it. It snaps you out of your thoughts, and it forced you to stand up straight, your head turning in her direction and eyeing her like a deer caught in the headlights. It made Ellie sigh softly, her feet swinging over the bed as she got up, and began making her way over to you.

"What's...what are you doing, baby? I thought...I thought we" She mumbled out softly, taking a few steps towards you. Her frown deepened when you respond to this, by stepping away from her. The way you stared up at her, is a look she doesn't think she will ever be able to forget, because you look terrified, disgusted, scared.

Worst part is, she doesn't know if you feel that way about you, or yourself.

She tried reaching out for you, slender fingers inches away from your waist, her hands burning for you once again. You stepped back again, staring at the girl in disbelief. "Thought what, Ellie? Huh? Thought that...that you could just ruin my night last night? And then drag me up to a random fucking room just to fuck me? So that you could.." You choked up, the words dying down in your throat, the mere thought of what you were going to say making those hot tears burn at your throat again.

You inhaled deeply, blinking back the tears that glossed over your eyes. "That you could use me, to cheat on Sofia" you whispered out, and that was enough to make those wretched tears spill onto your cheeks.

Ellie felt herself choke up as soon as she saw you that way, teary eyed, voice barely above a whisper, heart visibly breaking, and it was all because of her. It was all because of her, and her inability to do things right for once in her life.

You didn't make any attempt at hiding your tears anymore, they were there, and it was clear to see that what happened, was affecting you. The only thing you could do, was leave with the small amount of pride that you still had.

When a moment passed without Ellie saying anything, the girl knowing deep down, that there was nothing she could truly say to justify the situation, or make her actions any less wrong than they already were, you let out a tired sigh. You picked up the last of your things, slung your purse over your shoulder, and left Ellie there standing there.

And as horrible as it sounded, it hurt even more when she didn't try to chase after you.

You didn't want to ask your mom if Ellie and Joel were coming to your house for the holidays, because you knew that it would instantly raise suspicion on what had been going on between the two of you. Your mother could see right through you, and she was no stranger to how eager you always became to have both Joel and Ellie over to the holidays, so once she noticed that it was replaced with anxiety, she would be concerned. She was already confused when she learned that you and Ellie wouldn't be making your way home together like usual.

You hated traveling alone, you always did the annual holiday flight home with Ellie. She made what would usually be quite the boring trip, something that you found to be just as exciting as the holidays itself. You saw it as the perfect way to kick off your favorite time of the year.

But this year, you were doing it alone. Something about it made you feel like the holidays this year wouldn't go down as one of your favorites.

As soon as your parents were picking you up from the airport, and smothering you in kisses, telling you how much they missed you and asking you how your flight went, you felt a bit of the dark cloud that was looming over you clear up a bit. It allowed you to forget about the intense thoughts of your best friend that had been following you around for the past month.

It made you feel hopeful for the time that you had home.

After that night, there was a tiny piece of you that hoped Ellie would reach out. You selfishly hoped that she would come and find you, apologize for what happened, tell you that things between her and Sofia were fine, so that you could go back to normal.

But she didn't.

Ellie ignored you, just as much as you ignored her.

You kept your head down for the most part, in class and when walking through the hallways. You didn’t know how you’d be able to handle seeing Ellie, or seeing Sofia.

Or worse, seeing them together.

When it was fresh, you wanted to avoid it. You wanted to pretend it didn’t happen and carry on throughout the remainder of the semester keeping to yourself.

Soon, you realized that you’d gone the longest without speaking to Ellie throughout your entire friendship. She didn’t text you, she didn’t try to come and see you, hell, she didn’t even look in your direction. It was like she didn’t know you, as if you hadn’t practically grown up together, reaching your greatest milestones together.

On her end, there was complete silence.

The one time you caught her looking at you, was when Alex was sitting with you in the courtyard one day. It was one of the last days leading up to the break, and Alex had slowly made her way back to you. After everything happened, she gave you your space, while quietly letting you know she was still around. Once you finally worked up the courage to speak to her, and apologize for what Ellie did, she told you she understood. She tried to explain to you, that the way Ellie looked at you, wasn’t the way someone looks at just a friend. She could see the fire in her eyes, an undeniable need for you.

But you refused to believe it.

Ellie had every chance to be with you. She was the closest person in the world to you, she knew everything about you, her she never made any attempts to take things further. That was fine, it wasn’t something you dwelled on, because if you weren’t Ellie’s type, then so be it. You knew you weren’t, and while it was something that didn’t bother you…

It did once she had no issue with hooking up with you, but never tried to actually love you.

It made you feel cheap, knowing that you were only worthy of being the other woman, of being the girl that had to stay hidden behind closed doors, a fantasy for Ellie to play with, all while having the benefits of Sofia as her girlfriend. It made you wonder why you weren’t good enough, what separated you from the other girls she dated.

You figured you’d leave that thought alone. If you didn’t, you’d drive yourself mad.

Alex acted as your person of comfort through all of this, offering you nights of hanging out, study dates, or even stopping by to talk after class. You had to admit, it helped. And while she was sitting across from you on a bench underneath a shady tree, listening as you vented about the paper you were working on for that week, you happened to look up for only a second, and you were suddenly locking eyes with Ellie.

Ellie, who had eyes that were glazed over, lips parted as if she wanted to say something, but couldn’t. Eyebrows knitted together as if she’d cry at any moment, begging, screaming for you to hear her, to see her.

Ellie, who immediately turns her head away from you, and keeps on walking.

Throughout the entire month of not speaking to Ellie, that was the single interaction you had with her. And now, you were expected to spend the holidays with her, her father, and the rest of your family. Pretending as if everything was okay, and none of this was keeping you up every single night since the party.

You tried your hardest to get out of the dinner your mom had planned.

You used every excuse in the book. You said your throat was hurting, meaning you must have been coming down with a cold, you complained that you had the worst headache, you even tried using the excuse of not bringing any appropriate clothes for a party.

But of course, your sweet parents did their best at convincing you that the party would be fun, and you’d regret missing it if you did.

You tried taking your time while getting ready, hoping that with some stroke of luck, everyone that was supposed to arrive would’ve flaked on the last minute, meaning you wouldn’t have to put on a tight dress and do your makeup for no reason. Once you heard your mothers squeals, paired with the front door creaking from upstairs, you knew that was out of the question.

You slowly made your way downstairs, kitten heels clicking against the wooden floorboards, the bottom of your white linen dress swaying a bit with you as you walked. It fit you perfectly, hugging your curves at the middle, little flower cutouts littering every other inch of the dress, a dainty little golden necklace resting against your chest, your hair styled perfectly, makeup even more so.

You smiled softly as you greeted some of the guests, all of them raving to your parents about how pretty you were, how much you’d grown, how they didn’t have a little girl anymore. The compliments swelled your heart, making your head big as you shook them off, trying your best to keep up with all of them. The guests were a good distraction, giving you the opportunity to act as your mothers mini me, handing out glasses of champagne and whiskey, giving everyone a warm greeting.

It was so much of a distraction, that you barely noticed your father opening the door for Joel and Ellie.

With how much she’d been avoiding you, you were almost convinced she wouldn’t come. Ellie was never one to go to places she didn’t want to, and Joel rarely forced her. He knew her boundaries, and so did she, and you were sure that as of right now, you were crossing every single one of them with just your existence alone.

Ellie catches sight of you first, once your father let her go of the big bear hug he gave her, her eyes were instantly searching for you.

She feels her breath hitch once she lays eyes on you, pushing your pretty hair past your shoulder, laughing softly at something someone that wasn’t fully visible to her was saying. You brought your champagne glass to your lips, sipping a bit of the golden, bubbly liquid.

Ellie had never been more jealous of a fucking glass in her entire life.

A few hours prior, Ellie had been pacing in her bedroom a few blocks away from your house. She didn’t know what to wear, she didn’t know how to act, she didn’t even know if she’d actually being going. Ever since the night at the party, Ellie had an unmistakable lump in her throat every time she thought about you.

Every time she thought about your lips on hers, or the way your moans sounded, or the way she’d stupidly avoided that nagging little voice inside her head for the past however many years, screaming at her about how pretty you are, about how good it felt to sleep in bed with you at night, at how fucking right it felt to simply be near you.

She thought about all the times the perfect girl for her was standing right there, and she somehow always passed her up for someone else.

Ellie’s initial reaction to everything was to run. She wanted to run from everything, from you, from Sofia, from her feelings. Everything that was complicated in her life was just another thing she needed to get away from, and it’s why you didn’t hear from her after that night. She made sure to make herself scarce, because she knew once she got in front of you again, she’d either say something ridiculous that would dig her into a deeper hole than she was already in, or she’d screw up and kiss you again because she simply couldn’t help herself.

She figured staying away was the best.

Fighting off her feelings was the way to go, and it’s what she did. She knew that eventually she’d have to face the music, but she opted for that later than sooner. She hoped that by the time she saw you again, you’d both be able to get over whatever it was that happened, sweep it under the rug and carry on like before.

Yet, here she was, facing the music like she knew she had to, and it wasn’t any easier than it was in the beginning.

You were always pretty, from the moment Ellie had found you on the playground as kids, she thought you were pretty. The way your eyes crinkled when you smiled, the way you hid your face behind the thick, frumpy turtle necks during the winter, only your cute cheeks and eyes visible, everything about you had always been so fucking pretty, there was no doubt about it.

But God…she had a tendency of forgetting how fucking breathtaking you were when you were like this. All dressed up, diamond earrings twinkling in the dim light of your home, lips tinted the most perfect shade of red, complimenting your skin tone, tugged between your teeth as you eagerly listened on in whatever conversation you were in.

Whenever you looked like this, only one thought came to Ellie’s mind. She’d think about you and her, in a nice big house, planning cheesy Christmas parties for people, wining and dining your guests, her strong arm snagged around your waist as she paraded around her beautiful wife, bragging about the shiny diamond ring she used to propose to you.

It was a selfish thought, but still one that lingered in the back of her mind. Whenever she couldn’t sleep, or got a little too high, it would pop up, and put a stupid smile on her face as she basked in the way her chest warmed up at the thought of making you her wife, the perfect timeline of friendship to lovers.

It was ridiculous, wasn’t it? Ellie dreaming of you as her wife yet she’d brag about other girls to you constantly. Yeah, she didn’t get it either.

It was like a form of self sabotage, Ellie somehow feeling she’d never be enough for you. As your best friend, she wanted nothing but the best for you, because she knew you deserve it, and somehow she didn’t fit that category herself. She wanted desperately to, to be the one for you, to sweep you off your feet and show you what love is. It made her sick to her stomach even thinking about someone else doing it for you, anyone but her.

It was twisted, and selfish, and fucked up, and it was why you guys were drifting further apart than you ever had.

When Ellie finally decided to go to the party, she had it all planned out. She was going to get in, have a few drinks to loosen her up a bit, then she’d take you away and confess her undying love for you….

Or? She’d stare at you like a hawk all night, get too drunk and leave without uttering a single word to you, continuing her silent streak she had going.

The choice was in her hands.

You still hadn’t noticed her at that point, and once a few other guests had made their way to your front door to be greeted by your dad, and she noticed that you didn’t look their way either, she figured you were avoiding the front door like a plague, because you didn’t want to risk seeing Ellie.

And that was true, partially. You were half ignoring the door, and half enjoying your glass of champagne while speaking to one of your dads dearest friends. The alcohol made you feel warm, and it made it easier to have tunnel vision on anything but Ellie, allowing your fake smile to appear the slightest bit more real to the party goers, and that was good enough for them, and for you.

As much as you tried ignoring the door, you couldn’t ignore Ellie’s eyes burning into from different parts of the room. You could feel her gaze searing into you when your parents were greeting her, once again raving about how beautiful she’d gotten, how much they loved her tattoos. As much as you wanted to give in on her, and lock eyes with those green eyes you missed so much, you knew that was a bad idea.

You’d have to simply play dumb for the rest of the night

The party carried out better than you’d imagined.

You managed to avoid Ellie without being painfully obvious to everyone there that you were in fact avoiding Ellie, and you wanted to praise yourself for doing so. It was easy, busying yourself with guests, the alcohol turning you into the little social butterfly your parents always wanted you to be. Using the excuse of hopping from conversation to conversation made it easy to keep your focus on something for enough time, that you were able to completely ignore Ellie.

Being pulled in all sorts of directions, being called every time you stepped away to refill someone’s drink or grab another tray of snacks, you were the star of the show, as funny as that seemed to you. The attention you received would’ve made your head spin on any other given day, but right now, it was just what the doctor ordered.

Sure, there were a few awkward moments where Ellie made her way to the bar when you just so happened to be there. There were moments where her broad shoulders would brush past yours, almost pulling you out of your fantasy world completely, putting you at her mercy. There was even a moment during dinner where you were positive Ellie’s eyes were going to pop out of her head with how closely she watched you.

Through all of those things, and many other tiny little instances that were a bit too awkward for you to deal with, you prevailed. And honestly? It made you feel hopeful for your future in school. If you managed to ignore Ellie so flawlessly during a holiday party, all while maintaining the composure of not having her near? There was no way in hell you’d fuck up the same exact thing at school.

You didn’t need Ellie, and you were slowly proving that to yourself.

Once dinner was done, everyone stayed for only a bit longer, praising your mothers cooking skills, and the decorations in the house. Slowly, the guests started to leave, sleepy eyes and full bellies was all they needed to be sent home with sweet dreams and even sweeter desserts, courtesy of your mother. You felt the weight on your chest grow lighter and lighter with each person leaving, knowing that in due time, Ellie would be leaving as well. When you heard your father and mother walking Joel to the door, all three of them laughing like a group of teenagers after a rowdy night together, you bid the older man a goodbye and made yourself scarce. The kitchen had been cleaned, leftovers had been packed up and put away, and you were feeling far too warm from the liquor, and in desperate need of your bed.

Your heels clicked against wooden stairs as you made your way up to your bedroom, a soft huff leaving your lips as you reached behind your back, struggling to undo the annoying little clasp that held the back of your dress together near the zipper. Another puff of air blew passed your burgundy tinted lips once you reached your bedroom, kicking your slipper heels off as you continued clumsily fumbling with the back of your dress. At this point, you felt tempted to call it quits and sleep in the damn thing.

A soft knock on your door caught your attention, and you let out a sigh of relief as you walked over to it, knowing that it was most certainly your mother coming up to catch any late night gossip that you and her had caught within the night from some of the older ladies that attended.

“Thank god, i was waiting for you to come up. Can you help me with this, mom? I can’t get the clasp” you huff out softly, already turning around and reaching behind your back to fumble with the clasp before you can see who it is standing at your doorway.

Ellie’s eyes are shamelessly raking down your body, the girl swallowing thickly as she looks down at the swell of your ass under the taunt, linen fabric of your dress. The lack of your mothers voice makes you frown, and you quickly turn around to see what it is that has her so silent, but your face drops whenever you’re met face to face with Ellie instead.

Any cockiness that you felt regarding how well you’d ignored Ellie that night had disappeared, and was only replaced with silence as you stared into her eyes. Your throat goes dry, unable to find the words to say to her, and Ellie figures this is her chance.

“Um…your parents and my dad went to check out some holiday thing going on down the street…they asked if I wanted to come but I…figured I should come talk to you instead” she explains, and you simply stare at her dumbfounded, because the path of logic that lead her up to your bedroom is one that you seriously can't come to sympathize with, no matter how pitiful she looked staring into your eyes.

You inhaled deeply, eyebrows furrowed as you gave the girl an unamused look. A moment of silence passes between the both of you before you give her a shrug. "If you leave now you could probably still catch them" you hum out, the alcohol in your system making it far too easy to be rude to your best friend. She visibly deflates at your words, the tone on your tongue foreign to her ears. She was so used to you being so shy, so sweet, always welcoming her with there same sweet words you had for her.

"Look...We can't just carry on as if nothing happened. We need to talk about this...please", you hate the way your stomach does flips when she speaks, the girl practically pleading with you to hear her out. Begging to get a moment alone with you to simply reflect on everything that happened. In that moment, you realized that no matter what, no matter what she did to you, or what happened between the two of you...

You would always be weak for her.

Your gaze softens as you watch her, taking a deep breath before you silently step to the side, giving her the space to walk into your bedroom. The way her eyes shine when you do this doesn't go unnoticed, and those stupid fucking puppy dog eyes of hers are making you melt all over again, especially when she looks so happy just from you letting her into your room.

Ellie inhales deeply once she's in your room, looking around and taking it all in. She recalls all the many nights you two had spent there together, staying up late and watching corny movies, your eyes burning from being glued to the tv for too long. She remembers all the times she would follow you home after school, using studying as an excuse to spend a few more hours of the day with you. She remembers all of it, every memory, all the times you two spent together in that house, in your room. She smiles at the sight of the little flowers on your bedsheets, or the way your room had somehow perfectly preserved the sent of you, of your shampoo, of your favorite lotion, filling her lungs and almost making her feel dizzy. She makes a mental note that your room is definitely one of her favorite places.

And she hates that you two had come to whatever you were at now, creating bitter memories in such a sweet space.

The sound of your soft sigh cuts through her thoughts, and she quickly turns around to see you. Your arms were crossed over your chest, your face still with that unamused expression, making Ellie feel like you would rather be anywhere other than with her, like you couldn't wait for her to leave your bedroom, and it makes her heart sink completely, because out of all the memories Ellie had with you, none of them were ever filled with that face that you were making.

She clears her throat, awkwardly shifting her weight onto feet as she gives you a nod, as if answering a question that you hadn't even asked. "Sorry..um...let's sit?" She questions hopefully, and you shake your head, standing your ground with the girl.

"I'm fine here...and whatever you need to say to me can be said standing up" you mumble out softly. You knew deep down, that the second Ellie got you siting next to her, you wouldn't be able to fight back the urges you had to jump her bones. You would be lying if you said that you didn't think about her every night since the party. Her lips, her tongue, the way her hands felt roaming your body, keeping you close while you both slept. The memories you had with here were seared at the front of your brain, demanding to be acknowledged every waking moment of your day.

She frowns softly at your words, but gives you a gentle nod, understanding that this was just as hard for you as it was for her, if not more. Ellie takes a deep inhale, seemingly trying to find the right words to say, the right way to start off this entire conversation. She finds herself choking up, heart beating so fast she was sure you could hear it. You're making her nervous, and Ellie is finding it hard to separate the girl that has been her best friend for her entire life, from the girl that she was falling in love with.

And she finds it hard to figure out when those two things became one and the same.

"I broke up with Sofia." she blurts out, the words almost leaving her lips too fast to make a coherent sentence, but still, you catch every word perfectly. You stare at her for a moment before you scoff, you don't mean for the sound to come out as harsh as it does, but you don't have much control over your emotions at the moment.

"Is that supposed to change every thing? Is that supposed to make all of this okay, Ellie?" You question, the calmness of your voice almost scaring Ellie. She quickly shakes her head, stepping closer towards you, to which you take a step back, mirroring the morning after the party almost identically.

"No! Fuck..No, it isn't supposed to fix every thing..I just-" Although you agreed to hearing Ellie out, letting her into your bedroom for the sole purpose of letting her explain, you're cutting her off, because you truly cannot hold back anymore. You're tired of holding it all back, biting your tongue and forcing down what you felt for the sake of others.

"Do you not understand what you did? You sabotaged something that was....that was fucking good for me. Alex was so good for me, and you were so dead set on ruining that for me!" Your voice slowly begins to raise, and you are so thankful that your parents and Joel aren't in the house, because you're sure the neighbors can probably hear you.

Ellie opens her mouth again to speak, attempting to diffuse your anger, but you don't let her. "No, I have gone this entire time in silence, it's time I talk for once" you stop her, and Ellie is positive she's never seen you this angry in her entire life.

"You have known me, almost your entire life. You never once made any advances towards me, which is fine! I've watched you have multiple girlfriends who could not be any further away from what I am than they already are, and I never said a word. I have loved you from the moment I understood what love is, and I never said anything. I was okay with not being wanted by you, I was content with just being your friend, but suddenly you're stopping me from gettin into a relationship of my own? and using me to cheat on your girlfriend?" You started pacing as you spoke, your hands flailing about as you ranted, unable to even stop and realize that you had in fact just confessed that you loved your best friend.

You were just so tired. You were tired of feeling unwanted, of feeling like you were always the second option, never worthy enough to be the girl that was taken home to mom, always the girl that was picked last.

You were fucking tired.

Ellie feels like her heart seizes up when she hears those words, the ones that confirmed your feelings. She hears how tired you are, how broken you have become, at the hands of her doings, and she can feel that the love you have for her is slowly drifting as this situation prolongs.

"And...and I know I've never been that girl. I'll never be Sofia, I'll never be the girl that makes people do a double take when I'm walking down the hallway, Im not...that isn't me. And I was fine with that! I was fine with going unnoticed...but do you...do you know how hard it is to be placed second by the girl you're madly in love with? You made me feel so...fucking worthless of actually being wanted past a night of fucking" You're crying at this point, soft hiccups and sighs interrupting every other word, making it hard to breath, and making you sound all the more broken.

Ellie watches as you pace back and forth, ranting, crying, desperately trying to find answers for why she did what she did. Searching for the will to prove that you were worth it, that you were worth love.

She realizes that she destroyed any chance of you feeling worthy of love when she drove Alex away from you.

You finally stop pacing, turning towards her. The image of you breaks her heart, because your lashes are webbed together, eyes glossy with tears, cheeks soaked, chest rising and falling as you try to catch your breath.

"You need to leave" You mumble out, voice trembling as you struggle to get the words out. Ellie simply stares as she watches you, shaking her head as she tugs her bottom lip between her teeth. "M'not going anywhere...I won't leave you again" She tries, her voice barely above a whisper. Your chin wobbles a bit as more tears threaten to spill onto your cheeks, your throat burning as you shake your head, your arms going up to wrap around your torso, as if you were keeping yourself from falling apart.

"Y-you need to get out of my house, Ellie...I can't...I won't allow you to break my heart anymore" The way you struggle to find a proper pattern of breathing and speech is a clear indication that you're on the verge of breaking down all over again, crumbling apart and letting your emotions get the best of you, and it hurts Ellie so much, she feels tears prickling at her own eyes as well.

She frowns deeply as she moves to step closer to you, watching as your head falls, staring at the floor of your bedroom, small whimpers leaving your lips. She takes the opportunity to get as close to you as she had the entire night, staring down at you for a moment before she hesitantly wraps her strong arms around your body, which results in a low sigh of relief from her, and more sobs from you.

"Can't leave you, angel...Im not making that mistake again" She mumbles softly, her words muffles as she presses her face against your head, her eyes fluttering shut as she takes a deep inhale of your floral shampoo.

And you can't even fight her off, not when your body is shaking as you sob in her arms, not when her holding you is the only thing that soothes the burn, soothes your aching heart of all the pain it had experienced, not only within the past month, but throughout the entire duration of your friendship with Ellie.

Ellie stands there for a moment, holding you as you cry, as you both cry. Somewhere within the time of hearing your soft little whimpers muffled into her shirt, tears began to spill onto her cheeks as well. Her strong arms ran up and down your back, keeping you close, thankful that you were at least letting her do this for you. Once you had calmed down a bit, you finally pull away slightly to look up into her eyes, your own red and puffy as you sniffle.

"I meant it Ellie...I can't...I won't do this with you anymore" You mumble softly, your heart swelling due to how fucking close she was. You could kiss her if you wanted to, the girl staring down at you and taking in all of your features.

She felt her heart break, because she knew you were referring to your friendship, but your words felt like it was an ending to so much more than that. It felt like she was losing her person, the one that was for her, her only love that she needed within her life.

Because she was.

She inhaled deeply, shaking her head slightly as she tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "You know I can't leave...angel.." she hummed softly, and it made you eyebrows furrow. She felt your hands push against her waist, trying to pry your body from hers, trying your best to put more space between the two of you so that you could finally kick her out, and end whatever it was that was going on between the two of you.

And she realized, it was now or never.

"I can't do that, because i'm in love with you" she continued quickly, knowing she was running out of time to tell you how she felt. She knew that this was her last chance, and she had to use it accordingly.

The way your eyes widen as you stare up at her makes Ellie frown, because you look shocked. Is it really so shocking to believe that your best friend could love you just as much as you loved her, if not more?

You don't say anything, so she takes your silence as an opportunity to continue speaking.

"Since we were kids...I just...I didn't want to ruin things, and I always knew you deserved better than what I could ever offer, and you still do...But i'm selfish, and I can't ignore the way I feel when i'm around you" She mumbles out, trying to speak low so that you don't hear the way her voice begins to break the more she speaks about it.

You can see clearly that she's on the verge of tears, her green eyes glossing over with tears, her nose and cheeks flushing red as she bit down on her bottom lip, seemingly fighting back the tears as she squeezes your waist, trying her best to keep herself at bay.

"Im sorry..for everything that I've done...for making you ever feel like you were unwanted or undesirable when that couldn't be further from the truth...I was stupid, and I did things horribly and I've fucked up any chances I had with making you something more to me than friend...but I hope you can forgive me...because I can't...I can't do this without you" she whimpers out softly, the tears that she was desperately trying to hold back, already flowing down her freckled cheeks.

When she stares down at you, and your expression is so unreadable, and all you can do is stare back at her, she knows it's done. She knows that she shouldn't have come to bother you, and that she was better of leaving things as they were, but she can't help but feel a bit of relief that you now know the she loves you too.

And as her hands begin to loosen from your waist, and a soft sigh of defeat leaves her lips, you do something that you didn't think you would do in a million years.

You cup both your hands around Ellies face, and kiss her with every ounce of passion in your body.

It catches her off guard at first, but she doesn't waste much time in kissing you back. You can feel the way her slender fingers grip your waist tighter, desperately pulling you closer to her body as you kiss her passionately, your hands going up to wrap around her neck, basking in the love that you could feel pouring out of Ellie, and flowing straight into you.

She feels like her head is spinning, because she was sure she wouldn't ever feel your soft lips pressed against hers. You were the one that got away, and she had already made peace with that. But you were kissing her, and the passion was growing by the second, and you were slowly pushing her back towards the bed, and suddenly she has you again.

It's all a blur, because one moment you were yelling at Ellie, crying to her about how heart broken you were. Then she was apologizing to you, begging for your forgiveness, and now she's laying on your bed, with you straddling her as you kiss her passionately, slowly, simply enjoying the taste of each others mouths. Ellie's hands are roaming your body, squeezing your thighs, your middle, every where she can possibly touch you, she is. The kissing is slow, and sensual, and the sound of your tongues lapping against one another makes all of the heat in your body rush to your core.

Ellie groans softly when you break the kiss, opening her mouth to complain and pull you back to where she needed you the most, yet her words are dying down once she notices that you begin to kiss down her body.

You push her t shirt up a bit, kissing her hips gently before you settle between her legs, humming softly as you begin to undo the button of her jeans and tug them down her body. This makes Ellie frown, because as much as she can feel her aching clit throb at the mere thought of having your mouth on her cunt, she knows she doesn't deserve it. She doesn't deserve to have you there, so she props herself up on her palms, and tries to close her legs.

"Baby...wait...you don't have to-" You quickly cut her off, tugging her jeans more before you shake your head. "I've dreamed about doing this to you for years...please" you whine softly, staring up at her with wide eyes as you tug your bottom lip between your teeth. Ellie isn't strong enough for this, because you're settled between her legs, giving her the sweetest puppy dog eyes, biting down on your plush lips, and begging to eat her out. She knows she should be worshiping you, but god you are hard to say no to.

She simply raises her hips, aiding you in tugging her jeans off. She chuckles softly when she sees the way your eyes glimmer with excitement when she does this. You hum softly, leaning into her clothed core and pressing a soft kiss to it, the wet patch making you hum softly against her. "So pretty..." you hum softly, more so to yourself than her before you tug her panties to the side, far too eager to be faced with the job of taking them off.

You waste no time in pressing your lips to her soaked pussy, which forces Ellie to moan softly, her eyebrows furrowed with pleasure as she stares down at you, wanting to burn the image of you eating her pussy in her brain for the rest of her life. Your tongue pushes past your lips, lapping at her core, circling her clit, and it makes Ellie feel like she's going to lose her mind.

She feels her chest burn with a tinge of jealousy, because how the hell are you so good at that?

Your tongue pushing into her drooling hole makes all of those thoughts leave her mind instantly, and she's throwing back her head, moaning loudly for you as you begin to practically tongue fuck her.

"Ahhh...such a good fucking girl...eating my pussy so good..." her praises go straight to your core, forcing you to whine softly against her pussy. Ellie groans, her tattooed hand going to your head, keeping you close as she begins grinding against your face. "Mm..f-fuck...thats my fucking girl...fuck....wait...wait..Im close" she groans softly, trying to pull your mouth away from her. You don't budge though, eager to taste her release. You whine softly, your tongue rapidly moving against her clit. It makes Ellie groan, her eyebrows furrowing as she desperately began to shy away from your mouth, shaking her head as she tried catching her breath. "Slow down baby..I don't...I wanna cum with you..." She explains, and her heart breaks as you pout up at her, clearly displeased with her for not allowing you to finish playing with her pussy. It makes Ellie chuckle, and she slowly begins to pull you up, humming as she lets you straddle her lap. "Don't pout at me that way, baby...wanna do this right" She explained, looking up at you with hearts in her eyes, glimmering with adoration like a love sick puppy.

Her stare makes you whine softly, and her hand comes up to cup your cheek gently. "Will you let me make love to you? Is that okay?" She questioned, her voice low and soft, giving you full control of the situation, determining whether or not this would go any further.

And for a moment, you questioned what was best. You could have stopped this, crawled off of Ellies body and send her home, telling her that this was a mistake, and you should just stop being friends right then and there.

Or, you could simply let go. You could forgive her, and allow yourself all of the love you had ever wanted and craved from her, since you were a young girl. You could give into her, and let her love you the way you knew she could. Your heart still ached, and the scars that were left were still present, but they were fading, and every moment that you spent with Ellie, like this, in her arms, you felt as though she was exactly what you needed to feel better.

Ellie was mending your broken heart, and there was no way you'd let that go.

Without missing another beat, you give Ellie a soft nod before you leaned in, pressing the softest, sweetest kiss to her mouth. It makes her groan softly, because what did she ever do to deserve someone so soft, so forgiving, so fucking good.

She hums softly as she reaches behind you, undoing the claps of your dress before zipping it down and tugging it off your body, leaving you only in your panties before her. She gently pulls you against her body, your naked chest flushed against hers as she turns both of your bodies around so you were laying down with your back against your bed, and she was hovering over you.

She pulls back, sighing softly as her eyes raked down your body, taking you in like a work of art. She began tugging her own t shirt off, leaving her completely naked before you, before she reached down and snagged two fingers under the waistband of your panties, pulling them down as well.

She pressed her lip against yours, one of her hands coming down and grabbing your thigh so that your legs were spread. The kiss was sweet, and loving, and it made your head spin, distracting you from the way she began slotting herself against you, positioning her soaking wet core right against yours, the feeling making you moan softly into her mouth.

"I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you...my sweet girl.." She mumbled softly against your lips before she pulled away from you, straightening out her back a she stared down at you, one of your legs tossed over her shoulder, as she slowly began grinding her pussy down onto yours.

You had never felt anything like it. She was so wet, so soft against you, her velvety core slipping and sliding against yours, clit bumping against yours in a way that could only be described as euphoric. It made your back arch almost painfully.

Your eyes never left Ellie, because she looked like a goddess above you. Her features were so beautiful, the warm glow of the moon shining in through your window and illuminating them, so that she looked like something out of a fairytale. Her eyes were filled with love, her lips dragging against your calf, kissing you wherever she could as she stared at you, watching your every move, watching as your face contorted with pleasure.

"Look at you...you're a fucking dream...the perfect fucking girl for me" She moaned out, her hips slowly rolling, fucking her pussy down onto yours deliciously slow. You only nodded, whining softly as you grabbed her thigh, massaging her soft skin as you tried hanging on as long as you possibly could.

She smirked softly, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth as she moaned again. "You're so fuckin' cute...my pretty girl..." her voice was so low, words so slow, dripping with lust, want, need.

Love.

She was getting closer, and so were you. You could tell in the way she started to speed up, her teeth grazing against your leg as she began to get restless. Her eyebrows furrowed with pleasure. "I...fuck I love you so much...I have always loved you so fucking much" she moaned out, and this pulls a long, drawn out moan from your lips, which results in an encouraging nod from Ellie.

"L-love you so much, Ellie...always have" you whine out, struggling to form coherent and full sentences as you became prisoner to the pleasure Ellie brought you. She moaned softly, leaning down and pressing her body against yours, your pebbled nipples pressed against her own as she caught your lips in a passionate kiss.

"That's it baby...come on...cum for me...cum with me" she groaned against your lips, her hips moving faster as she chased both your orgasms.

You moaned loudly, pushing your tongue into Ellies mouth, wrapping you arms around her neck to keep her close, and allowing yourself to let go as your orgasm washed over you. It was intense, and euphoric, and blissful, and it felt like you were gettin hit by a bolt of lightening, because you felt your heart blooming with a love like no other.

It was different from the feeling of a crush, or what you thought was a love unrequited. It was hot, and electrifying and it made you feel alive again, it mended any broken feelings you had before the night had started, and even before that, and it made you feel like you were complete.

Ellie groaned against your mouth, her orgasm lining up with yours when she felt the way you pushed your tongue into her mouth, needy whines telling her all that she needed to know, that she had gotten you there, and she had shown you just how much she loved you.

You both laid there for a moment, wrapped in each others arms, trying to catch your breath. Ellie held you close, brushing the hair out of your face that had stuck to your skin during everything, she gave you gentle praises, bringing you back to earth with her. Soon, you were both tugging your blankets over your bodies, the chilly air making its presence known as it nipped away at your naked bodies.

You laid there, tangled up in each others embrace, kissing softly, and laughing lazily, exhaustion slowly taking over you both. You felt in your heart that this was all far different from the night at the party. This was filled with passion, and love, and it all started from a clean slate, where you two began to once again understand each other.

And as you fell asleep, you knew for a fact that Ellie Williams, was yours.

#ellie williams #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie tlou #ellie x y/n #ellie the last of us #ellie x you

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ncityprincess · 11 months

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how taeyong would be as a boyfriend

minors do not interact

-my sweet lil cancer baby 🫶🏾🤲🏾

-y’all know that episode of spongebob where mr. krabs falls in love with mrs. puff and he goes overboard with spoiling her

-that’s exactly how he would be 😭

-be prepared to be doted on and pampered

-worships the ground you walk on

-taeyong is such a giving person

-if you’re with him, you’ll never have to worry about money or anything

-seeing you happy makes him happy

-you’d go on tons of shopping sprees together and he’d encourage you to ball out

-“just get all of the colors babe it’s no big deal!” “that’s all you wanted!? grab a couple more things” “try this on, you NEED it”

-meanwhile you’re trying to tell him that you don’t need all this stuff 😭 he still buys them for you anyway

-you end up meeting his family early on in the relationship

-encourages you to be comfortable around his family and even plans little outings for all of you

-it means the world to him to see you enjoying yourself

-he would go all out for birthdays and holidays

-introduces you to new thangs (i had to) and experiences

-he would love to go on group dates with your other couple friends

-arcade dates, amusement park dates, you name it!

-he’s also another one that would memorize all of your fast food and coffee orders

-brings you food without you having to ask

-loves to take you to the best restaurants in town

-but i think he would really love to be a homebody with you

-he doesn’t always want to share you with the world

-he just wants to be boo’d up with you in the house

-he wants you all to himself and will be right up under you 😌

-oh and you definitely won’t have to worry about cleaning and cooking

-he’s got that covered too

-loves to have cozy nights in at home where he cooks you guys a delicious steak and you share a few glasses of wine

-he literally cuts up your food for you so that you don’t have to

-shoot, he’d chew your food for you too if he could!

-you shouldn’t have to lift a finger when he’s around

-he’s extremely sentimental and caring too

-isn’t afraid to put his emotions out in the open

-his main love languages would be words of affirmation, gifts and quality time 🥹

-tells you he loves you at least 10 times a day

-extremely nurturing and empathetic

-i mean the man performed surgery on his fish and dedicated a song to his puppy 🥺

-you would get that treatment x100

-would let you cry on his shoulder for 4 hours straight

-needs to hear reassuring words too

-he’s just a big softie at heart

-he likes to just sit in comfortable silence with you

-sometimes he puts on a soothing playlist and just lays his head on your lap while you’re chilling on the couch

-or he’ll offer you a nice massage

-and usually the massages come with pure intentions

-but once you start making little noises of relaxation and pleasure

-those intentions aren’t so pure anymore 😈….

#nct 127 hard hours #nct taeyong #taeyong hard hours #taeyong x you #taeyong #taeyong x y/n #taeyong x reader #taeyong smut #taeyong suggestive #lee taeyong #nct scenarios #imagine nct #imagine taeyong #taeyong imagines #nct fanfic #nct smut #nct 127 smut

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simmergetic · 4 months

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Santa's 'Lil Wonderland

DOWNLOAD AVAILABLE NOW

Happy Holidays! I am so excited to announce that Santa's 'Lil Wonderland is officially uploaded! I put a lot of time and effort into this build and had so much fun creating it. I hope you have just as much fun playing it. Hope you all have a great holiday season. Don't hesitate to PM me if you have any questions!

A few notes...

-this lot has been play tested with no issues found

-it is recommended you clear your cache and thumbnails before attempting to open this lot as it requires a lot of memory

-this lot is free of custom content

-requires ALL expansions including Holiday Stuff

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Santa’s Retreat

“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire… Jack Frost nipping at your nose.”

As the freezing temperatures set in over the quaint village, many seek shelter and comfort in Santa’s Retreat in hopes of easing holiday stress. Some will get warm by the fireplace while listening to sounds of the piano, while others might head upstairs for a massage from the village’s best (and only) massage therapist around or sweat out all those Christmas cookies in the hot ‘n toasty sauna. After some much needed relaxation, why not head downstairs and have a good ‘ole toast with those they love around the Christmas tree, perhaps make some hot soup in the mini bar, touch up on piano skills or just simply relax and unwind on the couch with a good movie? No matter who you are, Santa’s Retreat is sure to offer a warm and inviting atmosphere to ring in the holiday cheer and spirit!

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Santa’s Toy Store & Workshop

“Our finest gifts we bring, Pa rum pum pum pum”

What will the kids do on this little holiday trip, you might ask? Fear not, as Santa’s Toy Store and Workshop will be sure to keep the kids entertained for hours! Planes… trains… and automobiles…. Oh my! While parents and grandparents shop around for that one special gift, the kids can let their imagination run wild at the train table, zoom around remote controlled hot rods and helicopters or perhaps find something fun in one of the toy chests! And for parents who are just as much kids like their own, they can head upstairs to Santa’s Workshop and learn how to make their own toys… oh, the simoleons that will be saved this Christmas! And don’t forget to check out those picturesque views on the rooftop… capture that special moment and paint the perfect holiday picture. Just don’t freeze up there… brrrr. It’s a lil chilly!

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Santa’s Clubhouse (more pictures coming soon)

“And they never let poor Rudolph Join in any reindeer games”

Join in any reindeer games, you say? No one needs to feel left out… as there are certainly no shortage of games here at Santa’s Clubhouse! This central area of the village is a great place to seek refuge, catch up with friends and family with chats by the fire and play timeless games upstairs. So… how about a coffee, nice game of chess by the fireplace and a holiday movie afterwards? Sounds quite delightful. What’s that? You’ve got more simoleons than you know what to do with? Hmm… I know! How about a game of poker? Just don’t lose all your money before enjoying the other festive activities this wonderland’s got to offer!

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Cheers! Bar & Bistro

“And later we’ll have some pumpkin pie… And we’ll do some caroling”

Pop! Sizzle! Delish! What better way to ring in the holiday than at Cheers Bar & Bistro? Right next store from Santa’s Clubhouse you’ll find a grand hallway and entrance to this cozy restaurant nestled up on a hill overlooking the entire village. Grab some holiday cheer inspired drinks at the bar and dine downstairs for or make your way upstairs to the family style dining room complete with a fireplace and covered outdoor dining! Whether you’re in it for the drinks or just want a little date night with the honey, Cheers is sure to leave everyone full of tasty food and fun!

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Holiday Stop ‘N Shop (pictures coming soon)

“Joy to the world, my shopping’s done…”

So you made it to Santa’s Wonderland… but you just realized… it’s so cold and you didn’t bring your winter clothes…. One stop by The Holiday Stop ‘N Shop will surely fix that! This clothing store features an indoor/outdoor shopping experience with more great views of the village and skating rink. In addition there’s magazines and cologne for sale to make this lil shopping trip well worth it!

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FLOOR PLAN

ADDITIONAL PICTURES

DOWNLOAD LINK - CLICK BELOW

https://simsfileshare.net/download/4345193/

Enjoy! And Happy Holidays to you and your family. <3

#sims 2 #ts2 download #holiday build #happy holidays #ts2 lots

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strangermarvelss · 1 year

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i'll be home for christmas- e.m

Pairing: Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Female!Reader

Summary: touring around the holiday season, you’re worried you won’t get to spend christmas with your boyfriend

Warnings: angst, loneliness, holiday blues, rockstar!eddie being kinda a dick, cheesiness, fluffy end

Request?: No

Word Count: 3.6k

A/N: merry christmas to those who celebrate! i love this time of year (not as much as halloween, but its still cool) and wanted to share a lil angsty christmas fic for you all as a gift. enjoy :) -sava

Peaking through the curtain in your living room, you watch as snow falls from the night sky, coating the ground outside your home. It wasn’t unusual for snow to occur around Christmas in Indiana, as you’ve grown quite fond of waking of to a fresh sheet of powdery snow on your front lawn each Christmas you continue to spend in your hometown of Hawkins.

The traditions throughout the town helped brighten your spirits each and every year. Watching the children line up to meet Santa at the Starcourt mall, driving through the downtown area and seeing it decked out in decor with festive lights and garland, and the annual tree lighting ceremony that occurs each and every year on December 1st, signifying the start of the Christmas season for the town as the citizens cheer amongst the crowd before rushing off to do their family traditions

This year, however, your spirits weren’t nearly at the same level as you’d been used to, which can happen to a person when they spend this time of year alone. Your boyfriend, Eddie, took off at the beginning of fall to start his first ever tour with his band, Corroded Coffin, all across North America. They released their album at the beginning of the year, having put so much time, effort, and money into finally recording their first full length album and sending it out into the world all of last year. But with his being away on tour, it meant a lot of loneliness your you.

Sure, you were happy for your boyfriend, you weren’t going to deny that. He was finally getting to live the dream he’s set out for years to accomplish, taking a step onto the big tour bus and not looking back as he starts his journey with fame. You also couldn’t deny the emptiness you felt in your heart at his absence, as this is the first time he’s been away from you for more than a week. The two of you had your own traditions to participate in, such has making cookies, watching your favorite holiday movies, and bopping along to some of his old tapes as you presents with one another in front of a cozy fire. Not being around him this time of year was sending you into a darker place than you’d like to be in.

With a sigh, you withdrawal from the window, closing the curtain and plopping down on the couch in front of your fireplace. You frown as you look at the festive decorations, his stocking in particular, which was decorated with the Hellfire logo he created all those years ago back as a freshman, and he even made your stocking to match, both pieces looking you right in the face and looking empty as ever. You look to the tree, seeing an array of presents scattered underneath, all addressed to Eddie or other family members you promised to see after the holiday.

Your family moved out of Hawkins a few years ago, tackling the suburbs of Chicago as they begun navigating the early stages of retirement. You missed them more than you initially thought you would, but you already had plans to go and visit them a few days after Christmas. Eddie’s uncle, Wayne, also moved out of Hawkins shortly after your run in with Vecna a few years back, having no where to live after the trailer was destroyed by what everyone thought was an earthquake. He only lived a few towns over now, still working away at the plant at night, but it just wasn’t the same with him not being just a short drive away anymore.

The only people you had left in Hawkins were Steve, Nancy, and Robin. Nancy and Robin moved back after college, with Nancy running the Hawkins Post and Robin running the band at the high school. Steve, he’s always been around, just like you and Eddie. Unable to escape the nostalgia that is littered throughout your small town. There might be some guilt mixed in there as well, feeling like you couldn’t leave anything behind with everything that’s happened. At least, that’s how you felt. Eddie? Not so much.

The sound of the phone ringing pulls you back, jumping off the couch and sprinting to the receiver. Taking the phone off the mount, you press it to your ear, excitement coursing through your veins at the idea of talking with Eddie.

“Hello?”

“There’s that beautiful voice I miss every night,” Eddie says into his phone. You can’t help the wide smile that stretches across your lips as you hear his beautifully low voice, giggling a little as you rest your body against the wall.

“How is the tour going? Where are you guys tonight, San Francisco?” You ask.

“No, we’re in Los Angeles, about to go on in a few hours. The tour is so fucking good, baby. The guys and I are having the time of our lives. Definitely going to miss it when it ends in a couple days.”

You pause for a moment, not sure you’re hearing him correctly. The tour originally was supposed to end tonight, leaving the guys to all fly back home in time to celebrate Christmas with their families. So you were confused as to why he would say a couple days from now that the tour was going to draw to a close.

“I’m sorry, I’m not sure I heard you correctly. What do you mean the tour is ending in a few days? I thought today was the last show?”

“Shit, I didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what, Eds?”

“Our manager decided to extend it a few days. He decided to add a couple of shows on Christmas Eve and on Christmas Day for here in L.A and they sold out in an hour! A fucking hour, baby! Then we have a show in San Diego on the 26th, then a show in Phoenix on the 27th, Reno on the 28th, a day off, then two shows in Vegas on the 30th and 31st, with us ringing in the new year at the end of the set. It’s going to be the most metal performance in the world,” he explained to you.

You felt your heart slowly cracking as he rambled on, telling you about all the extra tour dates added until finishing it off with the news that you wouldn’t be seeing him until the next year. You wanted to be happy for him, with hearing the pure excitement in his voice and knowing he has the widest smile on his face as he tells you all about the tour, dimples and all. But that also had a cost. A cost of you being alone for the “most wonderful time of the year”.

“So you’re not coming home tomorrow?” You ask, sadness evident in your voice.

“I mean, that’s what I just said,” he tells you plainly. Letting out a sigh, you bite your lip, feeling it begin to tremble as the pricking feeling associated with tears starts jabbing away at the backs of your eyes.

“But we have our traditions…and we were supposed to go visit my family in Chicago on the 27th, together.” You say, trying your best to mask the hurt in your voice.

“Baby this tour has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. To all of us guys. We finally got our dream. Why are you being so selfish?” He questions with an annoyed tone.

You take a moment, holding the phone away as you cover the speaker. Sniffling, you let a tear cascade down your cheek as your chest tightens with hurt and guilt. You knew you were being selfish, and part of you hated yourself for that. But you also felt like you had a reason to be, with not seeing the love of your life since the middle of September. And now saying the tour was the best thing to happen to him, when all you’ve heard within the years of your relationship was that you were the best thing to come from his time on Earth? It hurt, a lot.

“Y/N, did I lose you? Are you still there baby?” His muffled voice lets out through the tiny speaker in the phone. You let out a sigh, shaking out of your funk for a moment in an attempt to act like you were fine.

“Yeah Eds, I’m still here,” you squeak out. He lets out a sigh, mumbling incoherent words before sighing once more.

“I get that you’re upset, I do. But this is important to me. You know how long we’ve been waiting for this opportunity. How hard we’ve worked to get here.”

“Yeah, I get it. More important than spending time with your girlfriend,” you let out, anger bubbling up and beginning to replace the sadness that was consuming you.

“Y/N, stop it. The other guy’s girlfriend’s and boyfriend’s are being understanding. Why can’t you be the same way?”

“Well sue me for wanting to spend Christmas with the most important person in my life,” you grunt out, chest beginning to rise and fall rapidly

“Y/N, please-“

“Just don’t, Edward. I’ve gotta go, we have carolers knocking on the door,” you lie, an angry sigh passing through your parted lips. “Merry fucking Christmas.”

You waste no time hanging the phone back on the hook, burying your head in your hands and letting out a frustrated scream. Spending the holidays alone was something you always feared ever since your parents moved away. Never did you think you’d be experiencing this kind of feeling now, especially with how serious you were with Eddie. Talks of marriage on the horizon, putting that conversation off to the side when the band got word of the tour, which you were fine with. What you weren’t okay with was sulking about an empty house during this time of year.

You weren’t going to go down without a fight. You wouldn’t allow yourself to sulk until all the other possibilities were out the window. Picking the phone up once more, you dial the number to a person you’re sure will answer, hearing the line pick up after just a few rings.

“Harrington residence, Steve speaking.”

“Hey Steve! How is your holiday season going?” You ask, wrapping an arm around your stomach as you press your shoulder against the wall once more.

“Y/N! How the heck are ya? The holiday season is going good, just about to pack the last bit of things before my flight in the morning,” he tells you, making you frown slightly.

“Packing? W-where are you running off to?”

“Denver. Tommy and I thought it’d be nice to rent a cabin and spend some time out there. What about you though? When do you and Eddie plan to make it to Chicago to see your folks?” He questions.

“Oh, uh, my flight isn’t until the 27th. I hope you have fun in Denver though!” You pause, taking a moment to let out a shaky breath. “Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know what Nancy and Robin are up to for the next few days, do you?”

“Oh yeah, the Wheelers are doing Christmas at Mike’s place in New York. Why do you ask?”

“Just want to be festive with the people I love, that’s all.”

“I think the Byers said they were staying in town this year, maybe you and Eddie can go celebrate with them?” Steve suggests. You feel your heart begin to crack more, a lump forming in your throat as you continue to cross more possibilities off your list.

“Joyce told me that they’re all spending Christmas in California this year. Enzo is going to meet up with them there and Hopper is really looking forward to it. Murray too. And um…Eddie won’t be in town for the holiday,” you finally reveal, voice growing smaller as your sentence progressed.

“Wait, what?! I thought he was flying home from tour tonight?” He asks, voice raised in shock.

“Yeah, he was supposed to. But his manager extended the tour a couple days. Won’t be back until after the new year,” you explain.

You twist the cord of the phone between your fingers as you kick your feet, the silence between the two of you deafening as you wait for him to process it all. You weren’t looking for sympathy when you called, that’s the last thing you want. Part of you just hoped there would be people willing to stick around the town you all call home to celebrate, but you understand that your loved ones had plans already set in stone. You weren’t going to be mad about that.

“So you’ll be all alone for Christmas?” Steve finally asks, his voice soft and tender.

“Sounds like it.”

“Y/N, I’m-“

“Nope, don't do that. It’s all good, really! Listen, I’m gonna get off of here so you can finish packing. Uh, have fun in Denver with Tommy, okay? Merry Christmas Steve,” you quickly rush out.

“Wait, I-“

Before he can finish, you press the button to end the call, but leave the phone off the hook as it dangles from the receiver, waving about by the cord, no longer in the mood to talk with anyone else for the remainder of the night. You press your back to the wall, slowly sliding down as you bring your knees to your chest, resting your tired head against them. Unsure of what else to really do, you sit there in along the lonely wall of your entryway, silently letting tears fall freely onto the material of your pants, darkening the denim blue jeans.

—————————————————————————————————————

Deciding not to feel sorry for yourself, you took off throughout the quiet town the next day, scurrying around for last minutes gifts and trinkets to place in the stockings and to gift to your friends and family members. Sure, it wouldn’t be as fun opening it tomorrow with you knowing exactly what was inside your stocking, but at least you had something to look forward to tomorrow morning instead of just waking up in a cold empty bed.

The mall was quieter than usual on Christmas Eve, the occasional parent, mainly fathers of the young children of Hawkins, hurrying in and out of stores with arms filled to the brim with bags from different stores. It made you giggle as you thought back to Eddie’s shenanigans around this time of year, having to remind him each day that Christmas was approaching and deal with the panic of last minute shopping for others. A sweet memory that made this shopping trip a little less than thrilling, but you weren’t going to let it dampen your mood.

The day carried on and you finally make it back to your home before the sun goes down, carrying the large bags of items through the door and being welcomed by quiet filling the walls of your house, the only sounds against your ears are the echoing of your feet against the hardwood floor. As determined as you were to not be sad today, the reminder of the loneliness you’d being ensuing until you left in a few days creeps up your spine, having pushed down the heavy feeling with distractions all day in an attempt to forget.

With a sigh, you set the bags down beside the door, walking towards the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of wine for the night. You were thankful that Family Video was still open when you finished your rounds at the mall, grabbing a few Christmas movies to keep you company as well as some holiday snacks to brighten your spirits.

You turn on a dime when you heard the faint sound of movement coming from one of the other rooms close by. Optimistically, you believe it was one of the bags falling, but are quick to have that fantasy shut down when you hear muffles shuffling. Cautiously, you move yourself into the living room, feeling around for the light switch to fill the room with light. You flick the switch and nearly jump out of your skin when figures appear before you.

“Merry Christmas!” They shout, standing one by one and revealing themselves. Steve, Tommy, Robin, Nancy, Dustin, Lucas, Max, Mike, and the whole Byers/Hopper crew greet you one by one, making your smile grow wider than you’ve ever had it. Setting your glass down on a nearby end table, you bring your hands to cover your mouth as the shock still flows through your body, shaking your head and wanting to pinch yourself, silently hoping that this wasn’t some crazy dream you were having.

“I’m really starting to regret giving you that spare key, Steve. You guys scared the shit out of me,” you finally let out, extending your arms and enveloping Steve in a hug. He laughs, rubbing your back and pulling away. “I thought you and Tommy were going to Denver?”

“He lied to you, can you believe that?” Tommy pipes up, reaching out to give you a hug. You turn to Steve, watching him nod and holding his hands up in surrender.

“I’m sorry, but it was all part of this plan we helped set up,” Steve tells you.

“And who can I blame for being the mastermind behind this whole plan, you?”

“Actually, you can blame the person waiting for you on your back porch,” he says, pointing out at the window. Turning, you go closer to the glass, seeing a figure standing there with their back turned away from the house, clad in dark clothing and long wavy hair flowing down his neck. You gasp, darting through the tiny crowd of people and rushing to your back door, closing it in a rush.

He turns to you, a smile lighting up his face as his eyes land on yours. Eddie reaches out for you, waiting for you to collide with his body. Running to him, you wrap your arms around his neck, squeezing him and wrapping yourself around his figure. He holds you close, taking in your scent and sighing in relief as he basks in the feeling of your body against his after many months away.

Pulling away, you can’t help but think back to the phone call the two of you had last night, words exchanged between you both that you now each of you regrets, and also meant all at the same time, given the circumstances. Your face contorts, sending him an angry look at you quickly rid his hands off your body, crossing your arms as you look to him.

“I thought they were extending your tour?” You ask, quirking a brow.

“I had to make up an excuse for this plan to work out, so I lied and said the tour got extended. And I just want to start off by apologizing for the things I said on the phone last night. I know it upset you, and I took things too far-“

“Too far? Eddie you called me selfish because I wanted to spend Christmas with you after not seeing you for months! We’ve never been away from one another for that long, and hearing it was going to be even longer hurt really bad,” you interrupt. He shoots you an empathetic look, reaching out to hold you. You take a step back, determined to stand your ground on the matter. "Not to mention thinking I was going to be all by myself today and tomorrow really upset me. You know that I've had that worry in the back of my head ever since my parents moved."

“Right, and you have every right to be upset with me. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you to have the best Christmas ever, and I’m going to make it up to you, I promise. You know I love you, right?” He says, stalking closer to you with ever word, until he’s close enough to plant a kiss to your forehead.

You can’t help the giggle that comes out of your mouth, finally breaking down and reaching out to take his hand. You press your lips to his cheek, rubbing the back of his hand with your thumb. He brings a hand up to your cheek, holding you close before closing the gap once more, this time pressing his soft and plump pink lips to yours.

Pulling away, he can’t help but keep his eyes on yours, the deep chocolate irises focussed on you with so much admiration. “I would never let you spend Christmas alone, sweetheart. We have traditions to participate in!”

“I know! I got a bunch of Christmas movies at Family Video we can watch together after everyone leaves. And ingredients to make cookies too,” you exclaim, excitement filling your system. Eddie can’t help but laugh at your giddiness, those beautiful dimples poking into the sides of his cheeks as he reaches out to plant another kiss to your forehead.

“That sounds like an amazing plan baby. I can’t wait,” he says, sliding his ring clad hand down your arm and locking fingers with yours.

“I even got us matching pajamas, because I know how much you love them. Consider that part of your effort to making me feel better,” you tease, turning on your heel and leading him inside. All Eddie can do is chuckle, his smile wide as he retreats back to the warm air flowing through his home, surrounded by his favorite people in the entire world, especially the love of his life, who was now just an arms length away.

Because all he can think about is how your face is going to light up when you open up your presents tomorrow, a gorgeous diamond ring waiting underneath the tree just for you.

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tagging @myobmaya because she's special

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frenchkisstheabyss · 9 months

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*~Christmas Evel w/ Stray Kids ~*

*~ I know it's July but a festive lazy day in with the boys is what was asked of me and I shall deliver. There are no rules here. It's Christmas when we want it to be. Time to get all merry and bright, darlings ~*

Pairings: ot8!boyfriend!skz x chubby!fem!reader

Genre: fluff but make it holiday themed

A lazy day with your boyfriends just before Christmas means...

Waking up to a house that smells like sweet molasses and warm spices because Felix is downstairs whipping up his family's gingerbread cookie recipe

Sleepily making your way to the kitchen where you find him leaning against the counter, pajamas still on, waiting for the last batch of cookies to come out of the oven

That freckled face lights up the moment he sees you. He pulls you close to him, arms delicately wrapped around your soft body, and plants kisses all over your beautifully chubby cheeks

Your brain's still fuzzy from just waking up so there's not much talking but that's okay. He's just happy to be here with you, holding you, hearing you giggle each time he lovingly nuzzles your neck

It means...

Decorating the gingerbread cookies with Seungmin and Innie while Felix takes a quick nap that way he has one less thing to worry about when he wakes up

The three of you make much more of a mess than you intend to. Innie keeps getting frosting everywhere and Seungmin gets frustrated when he can't get the little candy buttons to stick

You take their minds off of the cookie decorating disaster by turning it into a friendly competition of who can make the ugliest possible gingerbread man

A winner's never decided because you all end up feeding each other the completely wrecked cookies anyway. Not before giggling so hard over the situation that none of you can breathe

It means...

Finding Lino lounging on the couch in the living room with his cat Dori in his lap while Soonie and Doongie chase each other around, playing with all of the toys that he got them for Christmas

You cozy up beside him, resting your head on his shoulder, and pet Dori like the cute lil cinnamon roll he is until he gets up and starts wreaking havoc with his brothers

Lino kisses you on the forehead, intertwining his fingers with yours, and breathes in your scent. It's fresh and lightly floral without being too overpowering. He knows when you leave it'll linger behind and he'd have it no other way

Being on this plush couch with your boyfriend, watching the kitties burn themselves out is enough to make you doze off a bit again. For the few minutes that you do, he's careful not to disturb you. He just strokes your cheek while you nap, taking in how utterly adorable you are

It means...

Following the sound of music down into the basement where Chan, Han, and Binnie are working on a song even though they promised to take a break for the next few days. They just can't help themselves

Having you down here with them immediately takes them out of work mode though and they're unwinding in no time, gathering around to shower you with affection. And, honestly, to get as much of yours as they can

Binnie's super excited to play you guys his favorite Christmas song which turns into an hour or so of shuffling through Spotify, sharing your favorite songs with each other while you share stories from your childhoods

At some point, Chan mentions how secretive you are about your baby pictures from around the holidays and the guys have to see them. When you finally break down and show them they can't stop gushing over what a cutie pie you were/are

It means...

Having no clue where Hyunjin is only to find him bundled up in a blanket on the front porch reading a biography on one of his favorite artists

When he's this invested in something there's no getting him to move so, instead of trying to convince him to come in, you make hot cocoa for the both of you and grab an extra blanket for good measure

You sit on his lap wrapped up in a blanket burrito, sipping hot cocoa as he reads the book aloud to you. He may not say it but it gives him all sorts of butterflies that you want to share in the things he's passionate about

He notices that your nose is getting cold so he kisses it, blowing hot air against it to make you nice and toasty. You giggle when he does it and that only makes him want to keep you out here longer. Warming you up is too much fun

It means...

Ordering food from four different restaurants because no one wants to cook but it's impossible to get the guys to agree on what to eat

The nine of you taking dinner up to your room to spend the rest of the day watching those cheesy holiday movies that Lino and Hyunjin keep rolling their eyes at but secretly love

Everyone ends up in one big pile on your bed. You find yourself caught up in a sea of cuddles, a million conversations going on at once

Felix, Chan, and Binnie are having an elaborate debate about why Felix thinks it's a revelation that chicken has meat in it. Han's begging Lino to let him play with his hair and Lino's ready to bite him for it. Innie's dying laughing at the rom com cliches while Seungmin gives him the side eye. Hyunjin's got his face in his book again, curled up against your cushy body

As for you, well, darling, you're lying there with your eyes closed, basking in the love that surrounds you and kinda craving another one of those cookies

#stray kids x you #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader #stray kids x thick reader #stray kids x chubby reader #stray kids headcanons #chubby reader #plus size reader #stray kids fluff

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hslllot · 2 years

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A Soft Place to Fall - Part I

Story List

Word count: 3.6k // Rated M // harry x reader

Note: Wowowow ok! So, here’s the first part of what will be a multi-part story. It is just a short lil introduction to our duo... The second part isn’t too far away either :) I want to thank my bullies motivating friends that encouraged me to write and share this! I love writing but am always painfully nervous about sharing. So please, if you like it, let me know! If you don’t like it you can also let me know but I will probably cry. OK ENJOY :)

Part I

In a cozy log cabin at the base of Mount Yamnuska, Harry found himself in a position he thought he’d never find himself in again.

He was hiding.

It was something he tended to do after a particularly difficult break up: Flee to a different country, alone, to write and sulk and ponder how he always managed to screw things up.

Jamaica. Japan. Italy.

Canada.

In the heart of the Canadian rockies, he sat by the fire in his lonely wooden home. There was a winter unlike anything he’d ever experienced outside his window and a mug filled with English tea in front of him. Next to his mug was his journal, open to an empty set of pages, words painfully unwritten.

He arrived in Calgary by plane this morning, peering out the window to see the bustling and bright landscapes of California transform into blankets of fresh white snow on barren acres of farmland. They flew over the Rocky Mountains and, despite having seen them from above before, he was transfixed by their beauty and size, and he wondered if anyone ever got tired of seeing something so majestic. He had never seen the mountains in the dead of winter, the trees, the ground, and the mountains themselves covered in white while the surrounding frozen glacier lakes remained a brilliant blue. He appreciated the beauty of it all, and under different circumstances he might have turned to the person sitting next to him and urged them to lean over and take a peek out the window too. But his mood soured when he remembered that the person sitting next to him was a stranger, and he was, again, on this trip alone.

Once the plane had landed he sent a quick text to his family group chat and Jeffrey to let them know he’d arrived in one piece. He scrolled through his emails to find all of the different reservations Jeffrey forwarded to him so he could pick up his rental vehicle and begin the 100 kilometre journey to the sleepy mountain town he would be calling home for the next three months.

The GPS in the rental guided him to the Bow Valley Parkway, the scenic highway that would lead him through Banff National Park and to his destination. As he entered the parkway, he pulled into a designated lookout just past a wooden gate that overhead read “WELCOME BIENVENUE”. Directly in front of him was a cerulean river, frozen over and backed by the most massive snow-capped mountain he had ever seen. He got out of his car, feeling the cold January air like pinpricks across his face, and quickly took a picture of the view. He sent it to his mother and promised to one day come back with her so she could see it for herself.

As he drove further down the Bow Valley, he felt kind of silly for pulling over at the sight of his first mountain when each mountain and lake he passed seemed to be bigger and more beautiful than the last. Eventually, he saw the signs for Mount Yamnuska and turned off the highway onto a long and winding road that would take him to his final destination. With nothing but tall lodgepole pine trees, grey skies, and the crooning voice of Billie Holiday to keep him company, he felt like he was on a different planet. A planet where the trees and the mountain air could filter out all of the negative voices, thoughts, and feelings he’d been privy to in the last few weeks. A planet where he might be able to clear his head long enough to find within it a melody or even a lyric or two.

Harry wasn’t entirely sure what was waiting for him at the end of the road, only having skimmed the AirBnB listing Jeffrey had emailed him. He called Jeff two days ago, insisting that he needed to get away, to disappear for a bit. Having been in this exact position before with his client/friend, Jeff knew what that meant. His manager remembered seeing videos of aesthetic mountain vacations with rocky lookouts and great big turquoise lakes on TikTok, so he suggested that Harry sequester himself in the mountains. After discussing and agreeing on the destination, Jeff had the trip planned and booked within hours.

Harry passed plenty of tiny cottages and cabins tucked away in the forest alongside the highway, but as it got darker he focused more on the road ahead and fixed his eyes to watch out for any wildlife (he heard mountain lions were a possibility in the Winter). When he finally made it to his landing place, he was at the end of a long driveway in front of a cabin carved into a landscape of endless conifer trees. The cabin looked small and simple on the outside, the entirety of its exterior made up of orange-tinted pine logs. There was a foot of snow covering everything in sight, save for the walking path from the driveway to a front porch that spanned the width of the cabin. On the porch sat two Muskoka chairs, red, to match the front door.

Sat in the two chairs waiting for him, unphased by the darkening skies and blowing snow, he presumed were his hosts.

He exited his car and zipped his jacket all the way past his chin, a lame attempt to shield his face from the wind. As he made his way toward the porch, the older man and woman stood to greet him. Both were dressed in black puffer jackets and knit beanies, perhaps in their mid-to-late fifties. They appeared friendly, wearing bright smiles as they welcomed him to their vacation home.

“You must be Harry”, the man said, reaching out to shake Harry’s hand.

Harry returned the gesture, “Hello, yes, I’m Harry.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Paul and this is my wife, Nancy.”

“We hope you found the place OK!” Nancy chippered.

“Thank you, I did.” He said, shaking Nancy’s hand next. “I appreciate you taking me in on such short notice.”

“Oh, it’s no problem. We actually just had a cancellation before your manager contacted us. Our daughter was supposed to stay here with her partner for the week but their plans changed. So everything was already set up for guests!”

“Lucky for me then.” He said with a smile as Paul took his bag and Nancy moved to open the door to lead them all inside.

Harry did a quick scan of the inside of the cabin from where he stood in the front entrance. He saw they’d already started a fire in the wood burning stove and spotted a cozy looking armchair where he knew he’d be curling up with his book. “The place looks great.”

“We’re glad you think so. Please, come in, get comfortable. This is your home now for a bit, after all!” Nancy insisted, fussing over him to take off his jacket and shoes. She reminded him a bit of his mother, something about her demeanor making him feel at ease. “You’ve had a long journey so we’ll leave you to get settled in and explore the place. Just a few things though…”

He kicked off his shoes by the door and followed behind the two as they led him past the living room and into the kitchen.

“We’re going to get more snow tonight and you’re probably tired from your travels,” Nancy opened the refrigerator. “We’ve already stocked the fridge with all of our daughter’s favourites so there’s plenty of food that you can have.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind getting my own.”

“Really, we’d rather it didn’t go to waste.” Paul chimed in. “But of course if there’s anything more you need, there’s some info in that binder on the table about going into town and grocery stores and restaurants and whatnot.”

“Alright, thank you. I really appreciate all this.”

“Of course!” He handed Harry a set of keys on what looked like a moose-head keychain. “Here’s the key. Our house is north of here, about 15 minutes away. So if you need anything just give us a call or text. Our address is in there too just in case.”

Harry bid goodnight to Paul and Nancy and once they were gone he took his bag and scoped out the cabin. It was a simple layout with two bedrooms just off the living room, a full bathroom between the two rooms and the open galley kitchen along the adjacent back wall, opposite the front door. There was a small kitchen island at the center in front of the red kitchen cupboards, and a wooden dining table for two in its own little nook off the kitchen. The cabin had a warm feel to it. The decor, you might say was quintessentially Canadian in the way they leaned into maple-scented candles, wood carvings of mountains hung on the walls, and no shortage of throw blankets and pillows adorned with buffalo plaid.

Harry dropped his bag into the bedroom closest to the kitchen and was about to start unpacking when his stomach growled. Grateful they had left food for him to eat, he made himself a sandwich and got acquainted with where everything was in the kitchen before unpacking his things. He decided then that after he unpacked he would settle in for the night by the fire, brew some tea and maybe take a stab at writing.

—————————

You hated driving in the winter.

Were you competent and experienced enough to deal with the blowing snow and the black ice under your tires? Sure. But that didn't mean you enjoyed it. A lifetime of driving down the Parkway didn’t stop you from gripping the steering wheel so hard your knuckles were white, or straining your eyes in the darkness to avoid missing any moose or elk that might emerge from the trees.

One thing you did like about road trips was that they were a great opportunity for reflection. You’d been driving for about 3 hours at this point, and had barely listened to the playlist you put on at the start of your journey. You were too busy keeping an eye on the road, or thinking about the last 72 hours, and playing out scenarios in your head where things had gone differently.

You were exhausted, physically and mentally. Was it really only 72 hours since everything went down?

You replayed your last conversation with Luke over and over again in your head, hoping that if you went over it enough you could better understand.

“I just can’t do it. Even if I came, I would have to bring work with me and I’d be working the whole time.”

You were incredulous. Confused. Borderline seething.

“This trip was supposed to happen last summer, Luke. We’ve postponed it twice already for your job.”

“I know and I said I’m sorry. I just can’t up and leave right now.”

“Did you not book off the vacation time? Your boss knows you're supposed to go away. It’s literally one week.”

“Yes, I booked off the vacation time but I-”

“Well if you’ve booked it off and they gave you the time off what’s the problem?”

“I just can’t go now, ok?”

“Is it that you can’t go, or that you don’t want to go?”

That question had been lingering in the back of your mind every time the trip had to be postponed, but you never asked because you were afraid of the answer. You hoped that work really was so busy that he couldn’t take a week off, even though he had the vacation time approved by his boss. You wanted to believe that this was just the reality of being in a relationship with a lawyer.

The trouble was that you’d been with Luke for two years and he had yet to meet your family. He seemed excited to visit the small mountain town where you grew up, citing that he’d always wanted to visit Banff and the Rocky Mountains. You met his parents and got on well with them and your relationship was moving forward, with talks of moving in together and maybe even a proposal on the horizon.

However, every time you brought up visiting your family, he put it off and said he was too busy. You would visit home and he would stay back in Vancouver. Eventually he agreed to join you and the trip was booked, but at the last minute he claimed to be in the middle of an important case and couldn’t leave. You rescheduled twice since, and it was looking like you’d be adding a third.

“Of course I want to go. It’s just not a great time right now.”

“Is there ever going to be a great time? At some point I’m going to need you to make time for it, Luke.”

You were beginning to think that he didn’t understand how important your family was to you. He didn’t understand that you needed to see how he fit into your family in order for the relationship to progress. Would he get along with your dad? Would he be kind to your mom? Could he be friends with your brother? You were realizing that maybe his lack of motivation to meet your family and see your home was all you needed to know.

Before he could respond, you added “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

Of course over the last 72 hours you doubted yourself constantly. Had you overreacted? Should you have been more understanding about his job? You went back and forth, reminding yourself that you had a job too, sure it wasn’t as demanding as that of a lawyer, but no matter what you always found the time for things that were important to you. You even took a week off to go on a ski trip with his parents a few weeks ago.

After the break up, you called your parents to let them know you weren’t coming anymore. You fully intended to wallow in your apartment for the week and mourn your dead relationship. The wallowing lasted less than 24 hours before you decided the best antidote for a broken heart was a hug from your mom and a beer with your dad.

That’s how you found yourself on the Bow Valley Parkway at 11pm in the middle of a snowstorm. You thought it would be fun to surprise your parents, but now you were regretting that decision. You weren’t sure that the rental vehicle was equipped to deal with a January snow storm in the mountains and if you ended up in a ditch or hit by a moose, no one knew where you were. Knowing your parents, they were probably already asleep, and you didn’t want to wake them. You decided to spend the night at their guest cabin you had initially booked, with plans to surprise them in the morning.

—————————

Harry knew that a few hours on a plane and an evening in a log cabin in the middle of the wilderness wasn’t going to instantly fix his writer’s block. But he did hope his new setting might be able to wiggle some ideas free.

As he sat with his tea and his journal open to an empty page, he begged the words to come to him. But he didn’t know what to say.

How could he write about a break up that he still didn’t even fully understand?

He was just short of banging his head against the table and throwing his journal in the fire when a light shone through the window.

A set of headlights turned onto the driveway, a small car bustling through the snow storm that had started raging outside. He looked to the door to make sure he’d locked it, in case someone was on their way to murder him in the middle of nowhere.

Maybe Paul or Nancy forgot something, he hoped to himself. It was nearly midnight, so he knew that wasn’t logical.

It was when you pulled up and parked next to his rental that he saw you in the driver’s seat. Your face was perplexed as you looked over at his vehicle and then to the log cabin. You awkwardly made eye contact through the window before you quickly looked away.

Maybe she’s lost, he thought to himself next.

He waited for you to come to the door, but you remained in your car. Eventually, thinking you looked harmless enough, Harry bundled up in his coat, slipped on his shoes, and went to meet you outside.

—-

You whipped your head towards the cabin door when you saw it open to reveal a strange man walking toward your vehicle.

Why is he coming out here? Oh god is he going to murder me? You thought.

Embarrassed you’d been caught outside the cabin, you rolled down your window, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t think anyone would be here! I’m just leaving!“

You were hit with the realization of who was walking toward you, followed by some confusion.

What the fuck…

And then panic when you realized he was walking up to your car.

“I really am sorry this is my parents cabin and I thought no one would be here!” You shouted as he approached your opened window. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your evening.”

Harry fucking Styles crouched down to look at you through the driver’s side window. In the darkness, you felt his eyes on you taking note of your black and yellow North Face puffer jacket and the knit beanie on your head. There was a look of recognition on his face, perhaps noticing some of your features were strikingly similar to those of a woman he’d met only a few hours ago.

“Ah, you’re Nancy and Paul’s daughter.”

“Yeah, I am…So I’ll just h-”

“They said you’d canceled.”

“Oh? Yea, I did… I, uh, changed my mind, I guess. I didn’t think they’d book someone so quickly.”

“It was good timing on my part, I guess.”

“Right, ok, I’m so sorry for interrupting your evening! I’ll just go to their house!” It was nearly pitch black outside, save for the light of your headlights shining on the cabin in front of you. The wind was violent, whipping snow around him, and you felt bad that he was standing outside in the cold. His arms were crossed and hugging his jacket closed, talking to you while not wearing nearly enough layers to be outside.

Harry pondered for a moment, sucking his lips into his mouth and turning to look at the snow coming down around him. He was sure being from here that you had experience driving in weather like this, but he could not in good conscience let you leave without offering.

“The snow’s coming down pretty hard. I was just having some tea before bed… Would you like to come in? At least until things calm down a bit.”

Harry felt bold asking you to come inside when you were strangers. He could tell you were mulling it over, maybe unsure if you could trust him or if it would be appropriate. He wasn’t sure if it was either, but he kind of hoped you agreed to it anyway. Jeffrey would yell at him for this.

“Are you sure?” You asked. Your first instinct was to outright decline the offer, but you knew the roads were treacherous and you were exhausted.

“Yes, I’m sure.” He insisted. “Selfishly, I would never forgive myself if I let you go and you got into an accident or something on the highway.”

“Okay,” you agreed reluctantly. “I’ll come in just for a bit.” You got out of the car and followed him back quickly through the blowing snow and up the path to the front door.

Once inside, he turned to you. “I apologize I didn’t even ask your name.”

You told him your name as you toed off your boots and took off your many layers of outdoor winter wear.

“Well it’s nice to meet you. I’m Harry.”

“Nice to meet you too, Harry. I know who you are, by the way. I’m a fan.” You paused and he noticed the way your face twisted, almost in embarrassment. “Ugh, sorry, is that weird to say?”

“Not weird.” He tried to reassure you. “Would be more awkward if you said you hated me or something.”

You took a seat on the sofa, grabbing the buffalo plaid pillow next to you and hugging it to your chest. You felt awkward. What was Harry Styles doing in your parents’ vacation rental? And what were you doing with him alone in the middle of the night? Were you going to sit here and chat with each other? Or would he carry on with his evening as if you weren’t here?

You spotted his open journal and a mug of tea abandoned on the side table near the fire. He did mention having tea before, which was confirmed by him now filling the kettle with water.

“Again, I’m sorry for interrupting. Really appreciate you letting me hang here for a bit.”

He grabbed a mug from the cabinet to the right of the sink. It was the green mug you painted for your mom for Mother’s Day in middle school.

“You’ve got to stop apologizing. Very Canadian of you though.”

“Right. Sorry. Shit.”

Harry laughed whilst shaking his head at your incessant apologies. You liked his laugh. And his dimples.

OK, he’s cute, you thought.

“Would you like a snack?” Harry called out, interrupting your wandering thoughts. “I’m pretty sure all of the food here was supposed to be for you anyways.”

— END OF PART 1 —

Thank you so much for reading! I am looking forward to diving into this story a bit more and would like to know what you think :)

TALK TO ME HERE

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles writing #harry styles fic #my writing #asptf

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bwoahtastic · 5 months

Note

toto making cookies with the pups! it's the school holidays and nico is at work so toto is entertaining the pups and they decide to make gingerbread men as they get ready for christmas. the whole house smells like cinnamon and ginger, warm and cozy and slightly spicy. seb is happily cutting out the shapes and adding little ears and tails so that the gingerbread men can look like momma and papa and mousy and seb! nicky is stood on a stool, with toto behind him, guiding his little hands as they ice the cookies. they're having so much fun, giggling and dancing to the music that they don't even realise that nico has arrived home, and is stood in the doorway, watching his alpha and pups and feeling totally in love. he is so happy with his life, and feels so lucky and blessed to have this life

It being during the Christmas break and Toto works from home and takes days off when possible to stay with the boys as Nico is very busy. He is thriving just being papa and spending time eith the little ones!

Seb spending plenty time making sure the ginger bread men look like the family! And ofc some random blobs he calls monsters sksks. And Toto gently helping lil mousy decorate! Snd Toto also putting some icing on mousy's nose to make hin giggle!

Nico coming home and just taking a moment watching them quietly, tears in his eyes because he is jsut so happy and in love! Seb noticing momma first and zooming over, and Nico can't care less about seb smudging flour on his clothes, hugs his cub close and presses kisses to his cheeks until Seb squirms away.

Nico going over to kiss Nicky's cheeks too and then pressing a firm kiss to Toto's lips. Toto squeezing him close, making sure it's happy tears but Nico smells so happy and content!

#asks #stepmom nico

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halfmoondaze · 2 years

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Jack Harlow & Y/N Relationship Timeline pt 3

Pt 1 Pt 2

Lunch with the in-laws

In February 1, Jack and Y/N were spotted taking Y/N's mom to lunch at Lavo Ristorante in West Hollywood.

The Birthday Boy

On March 13, Y/N shared a birthday tribute to boyfriend Jack on Instagram posting a rare picture of her with a picture of baby Jack with the caption "someone very special was born today"

The Birthday Girl

On April 29, Jack gushed over girlfriend on her 24th birthday with an Instagram tribute writing a lengthy birthday caption wishing her a happy birthday and showing his appreciation for having her in his life along with a video of y/n's surprise pre-birthday party.

Settling Down?

On May 7, Jack Harlow purchased a 1.4k four bedroom modern townhouse in Atlanta.

US Weekly reports the pair were currently living together in Atlanta.

Meet Our Son

In July, Jack and Y/N celebrated their new addition to the family, a tiny pup named Koa. Jack showed a snap of their cute pooch on Instagram with the caption "our son"

A Rare Interview

In September, Jack opened up about Y/N in an interview with WSJ magazine. "She's like an angel, she's amazing"

In October, Y/N flied out to Australia to see Jack perform and join him on tour for a few days.

365 Days & Counting

In November, Jack and Y/N celebrated their first anniversary and Y/N took to Instagram to mark the occasion sharing a series of snaps with the caption "365 days around the sun with you". While Jack posted a compilation of short videos of Y/N with the caption "my everything".

According to a source close the couple the couple, the pair hosted their first Thanksgiving dinner in thew new home with both of their families in attendance.

Holidays Together

The pair celebrated the holidays and New Year's Eve with both of their families on a trip to Hawaii.

She Said Yes

On January 3, their last day in Hawaii, Jack got down on one knee and popped the question.

The newly engaged couple shared the new via Instagram post. Jack posted on his Ig "Two weeks ago I asked my soulmate to marry me and she said yes", along with a black & white picture of the two holding hands showing the engagement rings, pictures taken by his friend Urban Wyatt, of course.

Y/N posted a pic of the two cozying up with the caption “forever n then some”

Celebrities were quick to congratulate the couple including: Drake, Lil Nas, Doja Cat, Druski, Urban Wyatt, Bella Hadid, Kendall Jenner, Normani, Dua Lipa and many others.

Jack proposed with a dazzling three stone engagement ring with sapphire side stones, which set him back an estimated of $100,500.

After asking Y/F/N for his daughter's hand, Jack personally worked on the engagement ring with Jack Solow.

A spokesman for the company of Solow & Co , says the team worked with Jack for the design. "Jack was involved in every step of the way through several meetings in New York”.

An Intimate Affair

According to the US Weekly, a relative of the couple has hinted that Jack Harlow and Y/N would like a small and intimate wedding, and the ceremony might take place in Kentucky countryside.

#jack harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x you #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow one shot #jack harlow blurb #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow concepts #jackman thomas harlow #jack x you #jack harlow fanfic #bf!jack #Jack Harlow

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gothic-puppyboy · 2 years

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Winter canine things?????????

Hey! Im so excited to get back into requests!! Here is Max's wonderful list of wintery things for canine kin!

play in the snow!!!!

wear lots of cozy clothes (bonus points for faux fur)

Get into kirigurimi! (its cute lil onesies! you can find one that looks like your kin type and be all toasty and comfy)

Catch snowflakes on your tongue

If you live in a place that doesn't get super cold, go for a walk in a nearby forest/nature trail

Use the holidays as an excuse to get gear

Get some cute paw gloves to keep your lil doggie paws warm

Build a den in your room with some nice, warm, soft blankets

Spend time with friends and family, in person or online! show them that you care about them. Canines are extremely loyal and affectionate to their pack members, so remember to show them you love them

#activities for caninekin #alterhuman #therian #therianthropy #otherkin #puppyboy #caninekin #puppykin #dogkin #canine therian #dogboy #dog therian

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havin-fun-imagining-twd · 1 year

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The first Christmas “without,” Pt. 1

Hey now, traditionally Christmas was still celebrated until Candlemas, which is February 2nd. Just doing my part to keep the season bright with my lateness!

When - 35ish minutes after A fu---n’ great Christmas. It takes place in between season 2 and 3. That means heck yes, we’re doing a time skip after souls stripped bare

What - the first major holiday without loved ones is hard. The first major holiday without loved ones because one of your loved ones was killed by another loved one is somewhat harder. (for those who are newer Slowpokes, Shane was your older brother. Remember, he was at most your half-brother by blood. Imagine yourself as you are!)

**Note that some plot points haven’t actually been published yet, they are merely discussed or alluded to because the series is non linear**

Relationships - slow burn Daryl x Reader always, but this chapter’s Part 1 is focused on the found-family aspect of the TWD, specifically platonic Glenn x Reader. Part 2 will be focused on familial Rick x Reader. You’re still snuggled in the mangy hick’s poncho and wishing he didn’t smell so good, though

Perspective - 2nd person You

Pronouns? - ain’t even needed, y’all, but in Part 2 they/them

TWs? - discussion of respiratory percussion, some foul language, crying, discussion of grieving, and you and Glenn being nerds and quoting LOTR.

Word count - normal, but if you wait for Part 2 (arriving tomorrow), set aside some downtime and get comfy and snuggly in something cozy, dare I say a poncho, perhaps?

What stories to read or reread - “All of them!” the author cackles A fu--in’ great Christmas, The Chicken Swim, Too much thinking before bed, Part 2 and Ain’t nothin... are the ones most pertinent to this chapter.

Check out the Masterlist if you’d like to read all about your Slowpoke self :)

35ish minutes later

Glenn calls out “Time!” and promptly hoists Hershel back up and onto the bench. He starts smacking the pillow the way you’d just been smacking the poor man’s back, then places it behind Hershel so he can relax. “There we go.”

“Thank you, son,” he coughs out. You’re worried that him getting the night off last night in honor of Christmas Eve was the wrong choice, but that’s by the by.

And it should be noted that postural positioning with gentle respiratory percussion isn’t quite ‘smacking’ in the usual sense of the word and isn’t violent in the least, but you still sort of want to cry every time you do it to him.

The last position requires Mr. Greene to angle face-downward with his hips above his lungs; it’s that position that gets people emotional sometimes because y’all achieve this by his laying belly-down with his hips on a couch while the forearms brace against the floor. But you use pillows, and Glenn or T-Dog or Lori or Maggie or Beth or Carol or Rick or you tend to brace him, too.

Still, it simply feels a little cruel to see a man of his age maintaining such a position, even with support — especially when the whole point is to help him cough, therefore, he ends up coughing a lot.

He’s fully on board, though, you aren’t being a bully, Glenn.

In fact, perhaps 10 minutes after you and Daryl settled by the fire following you gifting him the nicotine gum and pickles (those gifts sound so weird when you say them out loud, don’t they?), Hershel had made a particularly wet cough. You, of course, straightened up and turned your head like a ’lil prarie dog and watched as he raised his eyebrows as if considering something.

Then, he gestured to the little water department building and said directly to you: “Shall we?”

It was so scary how sick he’d gotten and how quickly he’d become so a few weeks back, good Moses. All you’d wanted for Christmas had been an expectorant (and that elusive peak-flow meter) because you’d been convinced Hershel was gonna develop pneumonia and slowly suffocate to death. There weren't that many nebulizer doses in the tinfoil packet you and Glenn found a few weeks back, so while it was amazing that you could offer Hershel treatment with a nebulizer (by plugging it into the jack of the crank radio and having someone crank away to power it up), it wasn't enough and wasn't the right medicine to thin and expel the mucus from his lungs. What it did was open up his airways via mild steroids.

Not two hours ago, you were gifted with four boxes of the stuff, plus one, beautiful, unopened peak-flow meter that your sweet Carl had found because this year, he wanted to be Santa. That little punk surprised everyone.

The treatments y’all were able to give Mr. Greene before did help a lot, but that medicine is 100% how he’s improved so fast and so much since yesterday.

Daryl was spot on when he said it was a fuckin’ great Christmas.

Anyway, Hershel found the fact that most of you got so up-in-arms and oft times emotional about the positioning and percussion somewhat amusing. Quote: “You’d think I truly was a small child, the way you’re all coddling me after a simple pulmonary treatment.”

He said all that while darn near hacking up a lung following his second day of the regimen a couple of weeks ago.

Okey dokey, all that’s left of the regimen for now is the deep breathing, and the last set will be done closer to bedtime.

“We are blessed to have found a place like this —” Mr. Greene cuts off to cough several more times. “It may be smaller than that lovely house we had for the past two weeks, of course, but this feels much safer, in my opinion —” He cuts off with more coughing, but you can hear how much mucus is getting kicked out, it’s great!

Good Moses, the things you get excited about now that you’re taking on the group’s medic role to a more official extent.

“It’s small, but yeah, we could camp out for a while here,” Glenn hopes.

“The water from the reservoir seems clean enough,” Lori agrees, adding honey to the mug of tea she’s heating up on top of the woodstove. She chuckles to herself and mumbles, “We’re living on waterfront property now.”

Cool story about the tea: Glenn found the exact same tea that his family swore by for lung issues at this crunchy, holistic type of hole-in-the-wall market tucked away in a corner plaza in the middle of nowhere in between Clermont, Cleveland, and Dahlonega. It had this cool ingredient(s?) you’d never heard of called pyungang—no, pyung…tang…shoot, you don’t remember. And Glenn had pronounced it so nicely.

Hershel now swears by it. He’s big into naturopathic stuff, too, very pro-elderberry (if only it wasn’t December, you’d hunt some down for him). He was pleased to discover that you had a few of those plant books. ‘Backyard Medicine’ was on his bookshelf back at the farm, turns out.

“I’ve just psyched they’ve got a woodstove here, guys, like, that’s insane! The chimney is so tiny, we can keep the fire going all day and night,” Glenn goes on. “No more building a campfire and hoping it’s not wet outside. No toilet here, granted, but…”

Mr. Greene chuckles. “But there is toilet paper. We’ll have to get started on a good, old-fashioned hole. The ground hasn’t yet froze.”

You groan.

“Here you go, Hershel.” Lori carefully walks over holding the mug of steaming tea handle-side out, using the ends of her scarf as oven mitts.

“Wanna do your deep breathing exercises now while that cools down, Mr. Greene, or later?” you question.

Uh-oh.

Glenn is doing his jaw clench.

“He needs a break, Y/N.”

“Sorry,” you apologize. You know you tend to go big or go home when it comes to medical stuff, and you’re working on toning things down. He does seem a little off today, but Glenn is your strongest ally in terms of reminding you, but one time, okay, this is gonna sound stupid, but he name-called you “Nurse Ratched” one of the first times you two had a genuine argument about Hershel’s treatment and it was such a slap in the face to the extent that you’d accidentally blurted out “fuck you!” in your shock and had a solid two days of being convinced that everybody secretly hated you because you must’ve been a cruel, nasty person, anyway that’s the story of your first real fight with Glenn.

So, you defend your question as delicately as you can when you start to reexplain how “All them pulmonary exercises build on one other —”

“— So wouldn’t it be better to wait a few hours so he’s better able to do them?”

Lori places her hand on your elbow and softly voices to the two of you, “It’s up to Hershel.”

“Seems Lori is still the only one in here with sense,” the man himself grumbles.

Neither you nor your best friend heed any of that.

“After a few hours, a whole ’nother set of all the exercises would need doing, Glenn.”

“Y/N, you’re going too hard on him,” he warns, “that could make him worse.”

“Might could make him tired, sure, but I’m not goin’ too hard — he would speak up if I were. And he had the night off yesterday!”

“Coughing too much can break someone’s ribs, man, he’s old! Too much exertion could, like, give him a heart attack!” He quickly adds, “No offense, Hershel!”

“He ain’t that decrepit yet, Glenn!” You quickly add, “No offense, Mr. Greene!”

“If I, the old but not-quite-yet decrepit patient as well as individual with the most medical training here, may interrupt,” the old but not-that-decrepit-yet Hershel who has the-most-medical-training-here begins with a serious, firm frown at the two of you, “I would like to use my lungs as much —” ohp, and he’s coughing again.

Lori rubs his back while you and your friend wait like two schoolkids outside the principal’s office.

“Pardon, excuse me.” He clears his throat and continues where he left off. “I would like to use my lungs as much as possible right now, because,” he pauses to look at Glenn in particular, “I don’t know how long until the turkey Y/N and Daryl bought home will be safe to eat, but I do know I intend to enjoy a very large helping or two of it without worrying about a coughing fit emptying the contents of my stomach.”

Oh poop, now you’re welling up.

That happened a few weeks back when you’d first begun the regimen with Hershel. Lesson learned: lung drainage and smacky-smacks should take place either before a meal or well after. Ugh, the poor man had gotten so ill, then he went and coughed so much he couldn’t even keep his tiny meal down…

“You okay?” Glenn whispers.

“M’good.”

“It also is better to let the exercises build upon each other, son, your friend is correct,” Hershel affirms. “Everything’s warmed up, so to say, which makes it the ideal time to continue. The whole purpose, even.”

The door opens and cool air whooshes in.

It’s Maggie, who correctly guesses within a few seconds: “Were they buttin’ heads about you again, Daddy?”

“Only a little. I was referred to as ‘old’ and ‘not that decrepit yet’ this time. But they resisted name-calling each other, so haven’t broken their two-week streak on that yet.”

Back to using those terms likening you and Glenn to schoolchildren, this is the equivalent of the principal calling your grown-ups and telling them you were fighting.

Also, you think you need a nap.

“Allow me to finish scolding these two, sweetheart,” Hershel says to his daughter, coughs twice, then clears his throat.

Looks at you. Here we go… “And Y/N, Glenn was entirely correct in understanding that I do require a break. Doing too much of a good thing can and often does backfire, your shoulder therapy, for example. I know you know this and are working on remembering it.”

He blows lightly on his drink and goes to sip but it’s still too hot. Kinda like how your face feels. “Thus, I am going to sit here, take my time enjoying this very beneficial tea — which will further help my congestion break up — and then, once I’ve finished, I will utilize the new peak-flow meter to do the breathing exercises.”

The door opens again and more cool air whooshes in.

It’s Beth, who almost shuts the door, but first turns around and calls to the group “He’s all done, we can go in!”

After this, yes, she is just as sharp as her sister when she sees you and Glenn.

And you knowwww she doesn’t mean to embarrass the living daylights out of you and him, but as everyone but Rick and Daryl pour into the little building, she innocently guesses: “Daddy, did you scold them about babyin’ you again, going too hard, or about name-callin’ each other this time? Glenn and Y/N look like they just got grounded.”

Was that T-Dog who just snorted?

Hershel seems amused, so you suppose that’s good. “I think it’s remarkable that I have that effect on them. Margaret and Shawn tended to be unperturbed.”

“Mostly Maggie,” his youngest daughter agrees.

“Beth!”

The attention mercifully is now directed at the sisters, so you unplug the mp3 from the crank-radio charging port (poop, only ¼ charged), throw on your new camo scarf and hat, and slip outside.

Carl whispers to you, “You’re taking good care of him.”

You love that kid so much, it hurts.

You give him a peck on his forehead, and before you’re even out the door, you’ve started to fiddle with Shane’s ‘22’ pendant around your neck.

A nap won’t work right now, you’re thinking too much, so you head over to the water to take a quick walk around the small reservoir to shake it off.

When you and Glenn fight, it gets to you. Especially when he’s of the mind that you’re being too hard on Mr. Greene. It frightens you. What if you’re losing your capacity for mercy and compassion like Shane was losing his?

Well, the ground might not be frozen yet, but it sure is nippy out. You snuggle deeper into Daryl’s poncho while you still get to wear it, and try to wish away the stupid, annoying crush you’ve got on your that mangy hick. Why did he always have to be working on bettering himself and smell so darn good to you is all you’re asking.

From behind, you hear rushed footsteps.

Mid-way through unsheathing your knife and whipping around, you hear, “Hey Y/N.”

You swivel fully, sheathing the knife. “Hiya Glenn.”

“You okay?”

“I’m chill. You okay?”

“I figured we could go on a quick jog.” As he finishes putting his gloves on, he lowers his eyebrows at something on you. “You’ve got the necklace out, are you sure you’re cool?” he hints.

You pause, then sigh. Fiddling with Shane’s old necklace has become something of an unintentional billboard for how you’re feeling. Like how a baby rubbing their eyes a lot is their unintentional signal that they need sleep. Glenn’s worried he’s hurt your feelings or whatever.

“Wanna jog around with me?” he asks.

“Let’s do it. We’ll need go up into the wooded area to get around the far left edge, by the shed and the old boat.”

“There’s a boat? Oh heck yeah, I wanna check that out, c’mon!”

And so, an impromptu run begins (ew). Unusual outfits for it, ordinarily you and him will at least change into sneakers.

He’s thinking the same thing, so you discover, once he cracks up. “Dude, can you imagine seeing people jogging in outfits like this in the before-times?”

You laugh, but it blends in with how heavy you’re already breathing. “How many laps you plannin’ on doing? I’m wasted on cross country.” (Yes, you said that part in the Gimli voice. You couldn’t help it).

But he finishes the quote! “We dwarves are natural sprinters!”

“Very dangerous over short distances.” (Okay, you’re done, you promise.)

Cracking up, he tells you “Just one lap. Wanted to apologize for earlier.”

“So you’re makin’ me exercise?” you play-whine. Move those arms, inhale, exhale, keep that posture upright. Ugh, running is the worst.

Glenn clears his throat. “Wanted to give you a chance to beat me, natural sprinter.”

“Huh?”

“In the race.”

And just like that, he takes off sprinting like—OH, that sneak!

Go, go, go, go!

“Cheaters never prosper, buttface!” you squeal after him.

“But they win!”

.......................................

about 18 seconds later

.......................................

The race ended faster than intended when he ran into half of a spiderweb, and you, while razzing him, ran into the other.

After some wild shaking like y’all were getting electrocuted, as well as repeatedly shouting that you were both fine to the group’s calls of alarm (“Ain’t walkers, we ran into a spiderweb!”) you’re now taking turns brushing each other off and trying not to yelp too loudly whenever you swear there’s one crawling under your clothes.

Speaking of, you grab your scarf, hat, zip-up hoodie, and Daryl’s poncho from where they were unceremoniously strewn about and give them a final shake so you can bundle back up.

“Let’s call it a tie?” Glenn shivers, putting his own coat and gloves back on.

“A tie. And worst-case scenario, we get spider powers.”

“Or gangrene.”

“Glenn,” you giggle. The fear of having spiders nesting in your hair notwithstanding, you’re feeling much better than before. A quick walk to ‘shake things off’ took a very literal turn, you must say.

“Dude, can you, um,” he starts, then stops. Scratches his neck. “Sit with me for a while?”

“Of course.”

In the hopes of avoiding any more spiders, you both hop to a fairly large rock that’s about two feet out on the water from the treeline. It’s a nice spot even thought your butts are gonna freeze on it.

“Y/N? Sorry for picking a fight again.”

“Friends and family fight,” you’re quick to say. “Besides, Mr. Greene is worth it.”

“But I overreacted again, I know I did.” He’s got a stick in his hand, which he’s snapping off tiny piece by tiny piece. “I think T-Dog was right, the day is getting to me, I guess.”

“That thing about the first holiday ‘without?’”

“Yeah.”

A soft, cold breeze rushes through the air and whips up old, dried leaves. Yeah, T-Dog was concerned that the first Christmas without normalcy and loved ones might hit people hard. And because you wear Dale’s watch, Rick wears his, and Hershel has his calendar book, the time and date is something about which your group keeps track. So far, at least.

Speaking of Rick, you notice Daryl and him out on the far side of the small lake. Rick is facing away, to your relief. You just — you don’t want to think about or look at him right now, and you don’t want him to see you, either.

Which isn’t a good sign, you know, because it means you’re sinking into a bad headspace again. Ugh.

...I don’t hate Rick, I don’t hate Rick, I love Rick, he loves me, he is family, he’s not a bad man, you repeat in your head.

Rick still isn’t facing your direction, but Daryl almost is, still filling out Shane’s old coat so nicely.

You give a small wave, and your stomach makes a delicious but very annoying flutter when his hand goes up in return. Is he smiling? you wonder.

The moment passes, and you’re back to fidgeting with the ‘22’ pendant.

“Your baby sister always danced in The Nutcracker this time of year, right, Glenn?” you say to your friend.

That’s when you hear sniffling, and look to see him crying very quietly. Glenn used to go hide to cry. It’s good that he’s comfortable getting his stuff out more openly now.

The group’s protocol is mainly that when somebody needs a cry, let them get it out without making a big deal.

“I couldn’t stand going to see that dumb ballet, oh my God,” he groans, trying but not really succeeding in not blubbering when he tries speaking. “The plot of that show is just so weird!”

“It is strange.”

He’s gonna need to blow his nose soon. “Last year, I —” he pauses to make a big sniff, “— I had just got back to Michigan, and I snuck in a pocket radio, I —” Again, he cuts off.

He swallows, tugs his hat down, and admits as if he were confessing to murder, “I listened to the Wolverine post-game with earbuds during the show, I w-was such an asshole!”

“Don’t name-call my best friend,” you murmur.

“And Bri, she snuck in a three pound bag of M&Ms, so we —” he pauses to cry heavier remembering his middle sister. He blows his nose. That he took to carrying a handkerchief like Hershel does is convenient at the moment. “We had a contest to see how many w-we could fit in our mouths.” He laughs for a second as he remembers it, then stares down at his feet dangling off the rock. His tears seem to have slowed.

After a several moments pass and his breaths even out, you ask “How many did you fit?”

“51.”

“And Briana?”

Rubbing his face, he sighs, “49. And Umma got to —” a quick inhaled shudder as he talks about his mom, “— She noticed the candy and made it to like 30 before my baby sister finally got onstage. She l-loved watching her dance, we all stopped what we were doing to watch her.” His tears are back to streaming. “She’d gotten so skilled, Y/N.”

“What was your Dad up to in all this?”

Glenn starts to smile again through his tears. “He would watch ballet like it was a basketball game, so he was eating the M&Ms like popcorn with his eyes glued to the stage. He’d do this whenever one of the students aced a move.” Your friend demonstrates a subtle victory pump with his fist.

He snaps the stick in his hand into smaller and smaller pieces.

Once he’s breathing normally again, you offer, “My eldest sister put The Nutcracker on her mp3. Wanna borrow it for a while?”

First, he blows his nose again with what space on the handkerchief is left, then nods in agreement. “She put everything on there, didn’t she?”

She really did, though. You pull the music player out of your pocket and head to the T section to find ‘Tchaikovsky.’

“My baby sister was in so many of the dances last year. Ever since she was old enough, she was put in the Chinese dance, obviously,” he grumbles with a slight eye roll. “So last year, she’d practiced and auditioned for the dude’s role. You know, the guy with the hat who comes out of a box and does all the jumping up and down?” Wiping away more tears, he smiles through it and declares, “She kicked ass.”

“Heck yeah, she did.”

“And th-this—” his voice hitches, rises, and he’s back to heavy crying. “This is the first Christmas without, a-and—”

Oh man, he’s holding it back best he can, but it’s rough.

“— I can’t go see that weird, boring show with them anymore! I-I’d pay attention to every dumb plié and be so,” more sobs, “so f-fucking happy to just be with them again, I just wanna see them again! I don’t h-have any photos or-or—” another sob interrupts and he stops trying to speak.

Even with the sobs, still, he’s somehow a very quiet crier.

He lets it all out. You wait with him.

The tink, tink, tink of the pendant rubbing against the chain as you pull and tug, pull and tug your necklace mixes in with the soft sounds of the breeze, what few birds are still chirping, and the occasional hint of conversation from way over around the fire.

After maybe three or so minutes, Glenn’s calm. He tosses the mini bits of broken stick that he snapped into oblivion into the water. “I wanna chuck rocks in here like we did at the douche car.”

“Me, too.”

“Let’s do that in a while, I think I’ll need to sleep for a bit. I’m just thinking too much right now to want to do that.”

True that, too much thinking before bed doesn’t often result in peaceful dreams.

He seems up for a dumb joke, and he’ll get the reference, so when he goes to toss more of his itty bitty stick nubs, you grab a hold of his wrist and hush in your (it’s not good) best Aragorn impression. “Dew not dis-terb the woh-terr.”

It has the intended effect, his neck relaxes and he grins. “When we find a place with a generator, we’re wasting all the power on the TV so we can watch the extended editions. I don’t care what the dick-tator or anybody else says, we find that house with a gennie, we’re watching Lord of the Rings.”

“Maggie almost grabbed the One Ring replica at the GameStop for you for Christmas, actually, but she settled on the Portal book.”

“And after we’ve watched all like, 12 hours of the movies and the special features, we’re gonna find a PS3 watch you play that cowboy game.”

“Yes! I just wanna rescue that guy’s family and ride my horse.”

While you were there with Maggie, you’d grabbed a copy of this new game you’d been excited for, it had just come out like one week before the world started going downhill. You’d barely gotten passed the first few missions when SHTF. (You two also grabbed a copy of the actual Portal game, but that’s being saved for Glenn’s birthday, so shh!)

Imagining finding an empty place with a generator is a silly way to keep positive, but sometimes silly is best for keeping positive, right?

Glenn’s looking like he’s on the up. Tired, but he seems like he’s gotten most of his tears out. You hand him the earbuds, then show him The Nutcracker score so he can choose which of the 24 songs he wants to remember his family with.

“Want me to get Mags?”

“Yeah. Wait, no, I just need some time alone for a while, I think. When I get some sleep, I’ll see if she’s cool with me holding her.” He cleans off and positions the earbuds. “Thanks for doing this, dude. And hey, I won’t drop it in the water,” he promises, wiping his eyes again. Then they grow big.

He bumps your arm with his knuckles. He gestures to the lake and to the rowboat by the run-down shed next.

Then, he says two terrifying words you hoped you wouldn’t hear again:

“Chicken swim.”

................................

> Part 2 here <

> Masterlist link here <

and our teeny tiny taglist :D

@spenciepoo338 @its-freaking-bats @whistlesalot @buffy-the-assbutt-slayer @dreamingaboutthewonderland @kwazii-kat

(inbox is open if you would like on or off the taglist, slowpokes. Please don’t feel bad or nervous if you don’t want to be tagged anymore, just let me know, we’re all friends here!)

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