A Wild Chapter Appears!
Hey everyone!
So I used to post a chapter every month of Worthy Opponent but eh...I kinda fell in with a bad crowd or a new fandom. I'll finish this story I promise but I don't have the same motivation I used to.
@arylace Is the best co-writer I could ask for and y'all have her to thank for this being finished.
@fantasiame, @g-arya, @lavenderjunes, @charlietheepic7, @ahenix, @delectablycoolscientist, @kaseykay17, @vio-march-0327, @mewwitch, @vixen-uchiha, @coolspidermanmusicflower, @lady-bee-fechin, @raeuberprinzessin, @symwinter, @frieddonutsweets, @seraphkitty, @friendsofthefairies, @nickristus-dreamer, @khneltea, @jumpingjoy82, @fan-written, @woe-is-me0,@corporeal-terrestrial, @queenmjean, @theymakeupfairies, @dorkus-minimus, @idk-j-go-with-it
Worthy Opponent 26
All of the crucial “will you go to the ball with me?” scenes were filmed and the crew was galvanized into action. Notre Dame Les Oiseaux was about to start classes again so they couldn’t use the theater. So instead they decided to create their own ballroom on a soundstage.
The set dressers and designers went all out, taking inspiration from an actual castle ballroom and adding a few of their own touches. Blue and gold damask wallpaper decorated the walls and they recreated the look of a marble inlaid floor with vinyl laminate. Statues of Greek maidens stood in little alcoves (they were only plaster, but the audience wouldn’t be able to tell.) and genuine glass chandeliers hung from the ceiling. Amelie arranged for a tiny stage for a string ensemble to perform live music and a dining area with a buffet table. Mme. Jennings insisted all the chairs be covered with satin slipcovers to prevent damaging the expensive costumes.
The younger cast was very excited to be showing off their dance moves but the crew tried not to groan when they thought of all the building and painting involved. Fortunately they were able to find a discount wedding supply store that had some lovely banquet chairs and already made slipcovers. Some were blue and the rest were gold. That was once less headache, courtesy of the mayor’s daughter, who was now using her connections for good. Or at least convenience. Amelie arranged for on-set massage therapists and chiropractors to help the crew after a few incredibly long and stressful days.
The Wardrobe Department was so busy Marinette had to be excused from filming to help sew and Mme. Jennings recruited a few additional seamstresses. It was rumored she’d recruited her cousins from Scotland but the women rarely spoke so no one really knew. They worked at a furious pace and soon costumes for the principal cast and most of the secondary were done.
Everyone was tired and stressed so Amelie declared the weekend before they shot the ballroom scene to be free time and arranged for a team movie night and a takeaway dinner for everyone who wanted it. Some elected to just catch up on their sleep.
Work wasn’t quite done for Marinette, Felix and Luka. She had two costumes to finish and fit and they had to try on their costumes to see if any adjustments needed to be made.
Luka practically bounced down the hall. Marinette wanted to see him alone! Well, she wanted to see him alone to see how well his ball costume fit and whether or not she needed to make any adjustments but still, any time alone with her lately was precious and hard to find.
He told himself he wasn’t jealous of Marinette’s new friendships with the cast. Being an actress could net her some excellent contacts and he’d eat his Jagged Stone guitar pic if Mme. Amelie and Allegra didn’t contact Marinette after the movie to make dresses for them.
It was also good she got along with Allen and Claude. He loved to hear her laugh and their stories of past movie shoots and pranks they played on each other on-set made Marinette giggle and helped keep her anxiety down. Plus, Luka didn’t get the chance to play with musicians who weren’t friends or family and Allen was as talented as he was smart and good looking.
He hadn’t spent a lot of time with Chloe. She barely spoke to him although he’d caught her looking him over once or twice in appreciation. Most of what he knew about her came from what his sister had told him about and it wasn’t flattering. For the last four years she had been bullying the formerly passive Marinette and his shy sister. She’d used her father’s position as Mayor to avoid punishment. Until this year when she suddenly stopped. Perhaps she was too busy trying to survive lycee without her usual enabling teacher and an education staff who told her “Daddy” had no power over them, only the Ministry of Education.
Felix…on the other hand…well, that was complicated.
Felix’s resemblance to his cousin was eerily similar and Marinette did appear to have a type. While Luka was relatively sure she was over Adrien and moving on, he had no guarantee she would move on to him. That was…fine. He’d told her he’d be happy for her no matter who she chose. He’d meant it; he’d back off and leave her alone to make her own choices, even if the person she chose wasn’t him.
That being said, even if he accepted her decisions, he didn’t have to like or agree with them. He’d smile and congratulate her but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt. He might even be a little bit angry. He was allowed to be jealous, wasn’t he? He was allowed to be frustrated.
Luka couldn’t blame Marinette if she was attracted to Felix, looks aside. Felix was smart, charming, talented and confident. He was good-looking and aware of it, even if he didn’t exploit it. Watching the way Felix interacted with his mother and his friends, Luka felt he’d be loyal and respectful if he ever chose a romantic partner. Luka genuinely liked him and wanted to be friends, to hang out and laugh together. Maybe Felix played an instrument too. He should suggest the three of them spend more time learning about each other.
If Luka was honest with himself, he was getting sick of letting go of people he cared about with a smile and a wish for their happiness. He wanted to fight, to prove he was worthy, the better choice.
He wanted to be selfish, just once in his life. He deserved to be someone’s first choice and he wanted that someone to be Marinette.
Luka shook his head as his thoughts continued in loops: love, jealousy, longing, frustration. He couldn’t think that way, not in Paris.
He stopped outside the dressing room door that Marinette told him she’d be in. He took several deep breaths and mentally reminded himself to do some meditation and mindfulness exercises later.
*****
Luka raised his fist to the door and rapped with his knuckles. He didn’t have to wait long before hearing her call out “come in!” and he smiled before opening the door.
Chloe wasn’t sitting in the corner waiting to take pictures of him in costume and he asked Marinette why.
She just shrugged. “She said she had plans with Allen and told me she would get pictures of you in your Founders’ Ball costume when we shot the scene.”
He closed the door behind him. “So, we’re alone?”
Marinette smiled. “It’s been awhile hasn’t it? It seems all we do lately is work work work with hardly any downtime.” She sighed, sounding tired.
Luka grinned. “It’s worth it, isn’t it?”
She laughed, delighting him when her eyes brightened and cheek flushed. “Are you kidding? I’m going to be able to put ‘Costume Designer’ on my resume and I’m not even eighteen yet!”
He nodded and smiled at her. “And on your university transcripts. ESMOD would be drooling to have you after working on a Graham Films production.”
Marinette giggled and he wished they weren’t working so he could snuggle with her while they watched a movie. Or did nothing at all. Well, the money he earned on this film would keep his family literally afloat for months. The pay was leagues better than working as a delivery driver so he could afford to put some money aside for himself.
“And not only are you acting, but you’re helping create the score for a major film production,” her enthusiasm for his success was even greater than his own and he loved that about her. She grinned up at him and it was all he could do not to hug her. “Jagged Stone himself will be begging you to work with him!”
Luka chuckled at the unlikely but fun mental image of his music idol getting down on his knees and begging Luka to come work on his latest album. “Mom would love that.”
She giggled. “Oh, yeah.” She looked at him, still grinning. “It’s mind blowing that the two of them used to work together.” She frowned, thinking. “I wonder why they stopped. Creative differences?”
He remembered the way they’d argued at the docks. “With those two? Probably. But it’s just as likely if they were working with Bob Roth back then, he probably drove them apart so he could make more money promoting Jagged as a solo artist.”
“And your mom is way too independent to let someone like Bob control her,” Marinette agreed and they shared a laugh, thinking about Anarka Couffaine telling Bob exactly what she thought of his management style.
The laughter gradually died away and they were left staring awkwardly at each other.
Marinette’s eyes darted around the room, clearly looking for something else to say. “Um, yeah! Do you want to try on your ball scene costume now?”
He knew it was wrong to smile but even when she was shy and awkward she was adorable. “It’s what we’re here for.”
“I’ll go get it!”
She rushed to the storage room in the back and raced towards him holding a brown clothing bag over her head. She double-checked the outside tag with the inside tag to make sure she had the right costume and then thrust it into his hands. “Go go go! Change!”
She grabbed his waist, turned him around and all but threw him into the changing room before coming back and making sure the curtain was closed. “Come out when you’re done!”
He laughed. He loved his Ma-ma-Marinette.
*****
Luka slid the curtain back and hoped he’d put on everything correctly. “How’s this?”
“I’m sure it’ll need an adjustment here or there but for the most part it’s probably…whoa!”
Marinette nearly dropped her pincushion as she stared at him, eyes wide. “You look so good! It’s like you just walked right out of my sketch!”
He laughed and fiddled with the tie. “I don’t think I have this quite right.”
“Oh, don’t feel bad. Hardly anyone knows how to tie a tie anymore.” She crossed the room and reached for the tie, untying it as she spoke to him. “How do you like it?”
Luka allowed her to pull the tie off him, then raised and lowered his arms and let the fabric move around him. “It’s pretty stretchy and easy to move in.” He ran a hand down the front of the coat. “This isn’t leather.”
“No, it’s suede. Suede is stretchier than leather. It’ll move easier than leather during a sword duel.”
“Very smart.” He looked down at his feet. “I’m not sure dress shoes are really Watson.”
“Me either,” she didn’t look up from the tie she was trying to get out of the three knots he had somehow tied it in. “I was thinking of combat boots, not the modern kind. Mme. Jennings has some vintage that might have been her father’s. Are you still a size forty-five?”
“Yes.”
“Then I think these will still fit you. We might get them to stretch a centimeter but not as much as two.” She finally finished straightening out the tie and looped it back around his neck. “I think I remember how to do this from helping my papa. I’ll try to tie it for you but sooner or later you should learn to tie your own.” She glared up at him. “I can’t always stop to do this if you win a Cesar or a BAFTA you know.”
He smiled but she couldn’t see it. “I’ll do what I can.”
She didn’t seem to be interested in what he was saying while she re-tied the bit of silk around his neck. “I went with Victorian or Regency inspiration for most of the cast but for you I went Edwardian. Still muted colors but softer, lighter material. Not as stiff. I went with a summer wool which has more cotton but still that rough tweed look. It’s also a little stretchy because the fabric has some spandex in it.”
Luka wasn’t listening, he just let the lecture about sewing and design flow over him as he heard her talk about what she loved. Her eyes were bright and interested and her posture was confident. He let her turn him this way and that while she got his tie properly adjusted.
“I also thought a standard vest or waistcoat wouldn’t suit you or Watson so I went with an asymmetrical vest instead.”
Her small hands left his throat, which was good, because he was worried she could feel his pulse. Instead her hands skimmed over his chest and slid down his waist. He knew her touch was completely innocent but he had to close his eyes and try to meditate so he didn’t knock his hands away or worse, pull her closer and kiss her. Every time he tried to remind himself she was getting over someone and wasn’t ready for anything serious, it sounded like more and more of a lie.
Maybe she needed a rebound, someone like…Felix. He looked like Adrien sure but he would also be gone in a few months. Marinette might get hurt but hell, it would be over soon and he would be there to console-
No.
That would be cruel and manipulative, to both Felix and Marinette. He loved her and liked Felix. He didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize their friendship, especially if Felix could help her with her career. Felix deserved someone who wanted to be with him long term and so did Marinette.
Okay, enough. He had work to do. And was Marinette kneeling in front of him and feeling his legs?
This was his punishment for impure thoughts and nearly succumbing to temptation. Oh, and doing something pretty dirty to Felix too.
“I think your pants need to be hemmed.” She was telling him. “I almost went with white but I thought stark white would look too harsh so I went with cream.”
Really, Marinette?
“Well, they look great.” He looked into the mirror so he wouldn’t be lying.
The black, gray and cream looked fantastic, contrasting without clashing. The straight bottom of the vest betrayed the slightest hint of shirt as he moved but he couldn’t have it too tight. The fingerless gloves were very rock and roll and would help him keep a grip on his sword.
Luka glanced at his hands. “Could the gloves have some metal studs on them?”
“I don’t see why not,” she made a note on her phone and then got back on her knees. “I’m going to hem these pants. Try not to move.”
Oh, this girl was immune to irony. “I’ll do what I can.”
She slid the ankle of the pant’s leg. “How’s this?
He looked down, “how far up can you raise it?”
“About a centimeter and a half. I want the pants cuff to look right.” She adjusted the pants again. “What about now?”
He looked in the mirror. “Perfect.”
Marinette pulled some pins out of her wrist cushion and raised the hem until she was satisfied, then looked at the mirror until the hem was even all around.
Luka admired himself in the mirror again. He loved it. He’d have to be careful not to get anything on it but Mme. Jennings told him they usually had a spare, just don’t take it for granted.
He looked inside the coat and found a long inner pocket roughly the length of a sword. She really did plan for everything. That would save them from having to stop filming to grab them.
She noticed his satisfaction and grinned. “I’m pretty good, aren’t I?”
“You certainly are,” he bowed and found it very easy in his costume, “Your Highness.”
She giggled and curtsied. “Please. We’re friends.” She made an elaborate show of offering him her hand to kiss. “Princess Marinette will do.”
*****
When had he stopped?
When had he stopped thinking of Marinette Dupain-Cheng as an opponent? Worthy or otherwise, he no longer thought of her as an obstacle or an antagonist.
That was not to say he’d stopped enjoying their verbal sparring matches. She was quick-witted and easily matched his intellect, matching every barb he threw at her with an adeptness that was as impressive as it was playful.
She no longer scowled at him when he needled her and took his criticisms of her acting with good grace and used them to improve her performance without taking offense. And to his surprise, he longer wanted to offend her.
He could admit to himself (and perhaps his mother) that he didn’t like her when he first saw her. She was lovely, with beautiful blue eyes and soft pink lips. Unfortunately she had been crushing on his oblivious cousin, who at the time had been pining for a superhero. It was pathetic and sad because anyone deserved better than to be someone’s second choice.
Now Adrien was dating Kagami and she seemed good for his cousin; strong-willed and fiercely independent. She could teach him how to stand up for himself; he brought out a gentler side of the fencer. They balanced each other rather well.
And for him? Well, he wasn’t really interested in relationships or romance in general but he thought he’d be a good partner for someone like Marinette. She needed more confidence in herself and someone to teach her how to be selfish every now and then and say no. He supposed she could teach him how to better express his emotions and challenge him and bring his ego down to size when he needed it. Which, if he listened to Allen or Chloe, was often.
Then again, there was Luka.
It would be easy but cowardly to dislike Luka. He was level-headed and mature and when Felix was being difficult or demanding, the older boy would just smile knowingly at him and Felix would feel like a nursery schooler having a tantrum. And he’d be good for Marinette. He knew how to calm her through her anxiety attacks and quelled her self-doubt. He was strong enough for her to lean on and teach her how to relax; that she was good enough.
He was growing fond of both of them and that surprised and worried him.
It was easier, simpler to be alone.No one could hurt, judge, or use you. He’d been through that before and swore he’d never allow himself to be that naive or vulnerable again. Yet, now he was thinking of the Quantic Kids and even Chloe as friends he could confide in. They had fun, whether it was acting, breaking a room full of garbage or a tabletop game. It would hurt to lose them now. He could, and he would survive, but it would hurt.
He’d rather not think of what it would be like to lose Marinette either. She was sweet and bubbly and optimistic but also had a snarky side he appreciated. She wasn’t tempted or intimidated by wealth, she was good at planning and strategy. Sometimes Felix wondered what his life would have been like if he’d met her when they were both younger. They might have hated each other, or been best friends.
But when had he begun to change his mind about her?
Perhaps it was when she pinpointed Lila Rossi as the person sabotaging the film and why. She immediately began to plan and even had contingencies in case her original plan failed. He appreciated someone who could plan almost as well as himself.
Oh, she was heavily flawed as well. She was humble to the point of being self-effacing, she gave so much of herself she sometimes forgot to save something for herself. She was independent and refused to accept help from him unless absolutely necessary. He found her persistence and tenacity annoying when she turned it against him.
Marinette became hyper fixated when something interested her but it was a pain in the ass to motivate her if something didn’t appeal to her. Then he had to fall back on his old habit of annoying her until she lost her temper and did what he wanted without her realizing it. And oh, it made her even angrier when she realized she’d been had!
She didn’t take his behavior lying down. More than once he’d found himself tangled in some homemade trap she’d made and then there was the time he found everything in his office that wasn’t in the safe on the roof. Including most of the clothing he’d been wearing. While taking a nap. He never knew how she’d done it and when he demanded to know she’d just smiled and said, “That’s too easy. Where’s the fun?”
She hadn’t attended a private school and lacked a pedigree but he’d much rather have her in his life than some thoroughbred social climber. Or his superficial uncle who insisted on keeping up appearances and hiding his middle-class background. Marinette’s lack of pretense showed more integrity and, to be honest; class.
She wouldn’t be bought or sold and she wouldn’t be talked down to. She just needed a bit more self-confidence. More of a spine, but not to the extent Adrien did. She needed a bit of polish to show her for the precious pearl she was. That and someone who could protect themselves and her. Well, perhaps not protect her, probably someone to fight beside her.
Felix shook his head to clear it. He didn’t have time to muse about anyone. He still had a movie to film, a supervillain to expose, and a city to protect. His conflicting feelings could wait. He put the girl out of his brain.
He stood up and took a few deep cleansing breaths to clear his mind of wayward thoughts and focus on the scene he was about to act in. Later he would go to the Wardrobe Department to be fitted for his ball ensemble. He wondered what Marinette had designed for him…
…
Dammit.
*****
When Felix was reaching for the door it burst open and Luka nearly ran into him.
“Sorry!” Luka backed up a step and apologized. “I wasn’t paying attention, just trying to get away.”
Felix’s brow furrowed. “From who?” Was Chloe hitting on him? Was Lila? He didn’t think either of them were near the dressing rooms today.
“From a very cute girl who was running her hands all over me and kneeling in front of me-” Luka broke off and frowned. “I’m sure she was being incredibly innocent but my mind didn’t take it that way and I had to get away before I could stop myself from touching her back.”
Felix looked all over the other boy. His cheeks were flushed and his breathing was a little heavier. “Why didn’t you tell her to stop?”
Luka just shrugged. “I kinda didn’t want her to.” He gave Felix a similar look; examining him without being too intrusive. “I understand if that’s not your thing but I was in a bit of a difficult situation.”
He pointed to the hallway and Felix slid away to let him by. “No judgment,” he told the other boy, “but you’ll have to understand if I think you’re missing something.”
He winked and left and Felix was just confused. He heard Marinette’s voice from deeper within the dressing room. “Felix? Is that you?”
“Yes,” he answered. “Apparently I’m here for you to put your hands all over me,” he muttered before he could stop himself.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“I’m here to get my costume fitted,” he amended and she didn’t seem to hear what he said the first time.
“Okay. Come on in.”
He walked in the room and closed the door behind him.
Marinette was waiting for him, looking crisp and competent. She wore gray houndstooth dress shorts and a black turtleneck. Her hair was up in a bun and she looked professional and adorable.
Stop it.
She beamed at him. “Thank you for coming so quickly. Your costume is done but I want to make some adjustments if something is too long or too tight. And I want you to be happy with what I’ve designed for your character.”
He couldn’t help smiling just a little back. “I’m just an actor. I don’t get pissed off and moan about uncomfortable costuming. It’s not my place or right to complain.”
She gave him a flat look. “In a Graham Films Production? I’m pretty sure the co-director does have the right to speak up.”
Marinette went to the back to get him a costume to try on. After verifying the tags matched, she handed it to him.
“Hope you like it.”
Some mischievous part of him prompted him to ask. “Are you sure you shouldn’t help me change?
He thought she would get flustered. Maybe she’d be angry and yell at him. Then they would argue like their characters always did and he’d feel like everything was normal and there was no need to feel awkward.
Instead she smiled at him, lips curved. Her eyes looked him up and down, almost sultry. “My dear. You should be so lucky.”
She pushed him into the dressing room and closed the curtain.
*****
Felix was rather proud of himself for being able to tie a cravat on his first try and looked at what he could see of himself. Unfortunately the dressing room didn’t have a mirror so he would have to leave the room to see his reflection. A ploy of the Wardrobe Department, no doubt. It cut down the number of actors who damaged valuable costumes after realizing how unflattering they were. Well, he wasn’t vain. He didn’t care.
He slid back the dressing room curtain and looked at the mirror.
Okay, he did care.
The long black dress coat was a strange hybrid between a Regency and a Victorian cut and he liked it better, historical accuracy aside. The white shirt contrasted with the black and he thought the gray trousers tied them together.
He looked at the dark gold waistcoat. Another excellent choice that would bring attention to his hair color.
Running his hands over the vest he felt a side pocket. He looked from his reflection to Marinette. She looked satisfied, even pleased with herself. He liked the confident look on her face.
“It’s just big enough for a watch and chain,” he told her.
She smiled widely. “I bet you already have one.”
“Helen’s granddad. It’s supposed to go to the eldest but she’ll let me borrow it.”
She nodded. “Raise your arms. I want to see how easily you can move in it.”
He did so.
“Hold them out, shoulder height.”
He paused. “T-pose?”
“Sure.”
It was on the tip of his tongue to say she enjoyed giving him orders and ask if she had any dominating tendencies. That would have been incredibly unprofessional and could have gotten him and his Mother’s production company sued.
But what if she’d said yes?
You’re an idiot, me.
Marinette watched him pose. Her teeth worried her lower lip slightly and he found himself staring at her mouth before he forced his gaze away from her face. He looked straight ahead and tried to focus on…anything else.
“So, how was filming? I’ve been in the dressing room most of the day so I don’t know how scenes I’m not in are going.”
Ah, a neutral topic, something he would be confident talking about. It would relax him. Very smart.
“First, I did a scene with Barrington and Headmaster Doyle. They were discussing security for the ball and whether or not they should hire a private company.” The company would be owned by Jayden’s relatives and he would hack the school’s mainframe to make sure they got hired instead of the school’s original security company. That would give the heroes more eyes on any suspicious people. “Then Doyle and Professor Burnham-Hui discuss old times at school and how they miss Professor Akunin.” It was a great way to humanize the adult characters and give them nuance.
“Fleshing out characters beside our mains? Awesome.” Marinette took a step towards him then hesitated. “Um, Felix? I need to check the seams and the fit. That means I need to touch you.” She clasped her hands in front of her. “I’d like permission to touch you, if that’s all right.”
Felix stiffened, but only for a moment. He knew Marinette and was confident she wouldn’t take advantage to be inappropriate. Plus, she was his friend now. To his surprise, he trusted her to be respectful.
“It’s fine,” he told her, “I trust you not to…I don’t know…throw me down and ravish me.”
He meant it as a joke and wanted to needle her but she disappointed him. All she did was give him a flat look and say, “again, you’re not that lucky.”
Marinette got closer to him and reached up, touching his neck and then hooking a finger between his skin and the cravat. “Is it too tight? Can you breathe comfortably?”
He inhaled and then exhaled to show her. “Just fine.”
She nodded and then ran her hands from his underarms down his sides. “The seams look good. Plenty of room I hope? You don’t look like you have any trouble moving.”
Her hands moved lower then stopped. She looked into his eyes and her expression looked professional. Hell, she almost looked clinical as if she was giving him a medical exam. It left him feeling oddly disappointed.
“Hey, Felix?” She frowned and the skin between her brows wrinkled. “I want to check the waistband. I’ll just pull on the belt loops, I promise.”
What was it about her that made him want to make snarky comments and purposely pick fights with her when they were alone? A small part of him was worried he was blending his character with himself, something he hadn’t done since he was a child until this part. Sure, sometimes he had trouble breaking character but that was only for an instant and never when away from set.
Perhaps there was something about Marinette.
At first he thought she was just another bubble-headed fangirl obsessed with his cousin. She might have had a little talent but not much substance. As he got to know her he became impressed by her drive and ambition, her refusal to be intimidated by him. He liked her humor and wit most of all.
She was creative and had a knack for planning. She could be insightful and had integrity and leadership abilities.
It was a shame there wasn’t another Heraldry Miraculous for her to wield. He would have named her Nimue or something similar.
He felt her hands checking the seams along his calves and then stopped at his pants cuffs. He blinked back into awareness. “So uh…how’s the fit so far?”
“I was just about to ask you. The waist feels loose without being baggy. Better than Luka’s; his seemed a little tight.”
Felix clenched his teeth to keep from laughing. Really, she was either innocent or oblivious when it came to teenage boys.
Marinette raised the fabric near his ankles and he felt her hand on his bare skin. Her touch was light and gentle, barely there and even soothing. “I think your pant hem needs to come down about a centimeter. What do you think?”
He looked down and saw what she meant. Yes, the pants were slightly too short. He wasn’t sure how that happened. “I guess you didn’t take my measurements correctly.”
She glared up at him and he felt oddly vindicated. “You really shouldn’t insult me when I have access to sharp objects,” she reminded him and made a note on her phone. “We’re done here. I’ll shut the curtain and you can change.”
She was gone before he could make another smartarse remark.
As he was changing he saw Griff looking at him from his vest pocket. He had the feeling his kwami didn’t approve of his behavior towards Marinette. It wasn’t their business.
“Really, chick? That’s no way to speak to a lady like that.”
Felix paused as he buttoned his shirt. “A lady like what? My co-star? A collaborator? An ally?”
Griff made a huffing sound. “A possible future duchess.”
Felix couldn’t help it. He laughed. “I have no plans to ever marry.”
The kwami looked alarmed. “What of the family line?”
“In vitro and a surrogate.”
Griff ruffled his feathers. He sensed something exceptional about this girl, just as he had that blue-haired rival of his. Chicks these days, still wet from the shell and thought they knew everything.
*****
After Felix had left Marinette could finally let Tikki out of her purse. “Ugh. I thought he’d never leave,” the kwami complained.
“Same,” Marinette sighed and rubbed her hands together as if to remove the sensation of Felix’s body from her fingers. “What was with all the insults? Here I am trying to be professional and he’s acting like an ass.”
“Maybe it was because you had your hands all over him and he was…uncomfortable?” Tikki nearly said “enjoying himself too much” or “flustered” but she didn’t want to risk her charge developing any feelings beyond friendship for the boy. His past behavior aside, there was something unusual about Felix she couldn’t quite put her paw on. That, and even though she once would have paired Marinette and Adrien, she now thought they were better off as partners.
Besides, there was Luka and he was clearly better for Marinette, at least for now. She could relax and be herself around him and Longg and Sass sang his praises when they weren’t fighting over who was the better kwami for the musician.
Marinette shrugged then grinned, looking a little sly. “He’s put on some muscle lately but I like Luka’s body better.”
Tikki giggled. Yes, Lukanette! “Is that why you took an extra long time checking the fit on his costume?”
The girl blushed as she thought of feeling the boy’s pulse under her fingertips and the warmth of his skin. He always smelled really good from the bay rum shaving soap his mom had gotten him for his birthday. “Maybe. What can I say? I’m a normal teenage girl.”
“You’re a pervert,” Tikki accused but without malice. Her mischievous grin ruined her attempts to scold her charge.
“Like I said. Normal teenager.”
*****
"Why am I a little spoon?" Felix asked with a pout as he was spooned by Chloe, clutching Mr. Cuddly to his chest.
The beanbag they shared was soft and plush, like those squishmallow toys Allegra loved. It was brought in by Allegra, an odd chunky lavender colored dragon plush made bean bag, with some pillows that were made of the same material but with a pink cow pattern Claude found. It would fit two comfortably, maybe three pushing it. Often, most of the Quantic Kids fought over who got the bean bag, and this time Felix and Chloe were lucky to be there the fastest. Last time Felix tried he was tackled by Claude while Allegra took the bean bag as her prize. He was so miffed he didn't heal her D&D character when they managed to play.
The lights of their chill room were dimmed, there was a tablet playing an old western film; Griff and Milvii were watching. Eyes dilated and raptured at the so-called modern knights of the Wild West as the kwami declared. To anyone watching it was as if the blondes would have undoubtedly fallen asleep watching a movie. A great cover story for any unsuspecting staff.
"You're holding Mr. Cuddly," Chloe supplied as if the most natural answer in the world.
Felix tightened his grip lightly on the teddy bear that smelled of the essential oils Chloe generously sprayed on it. It was meant to be relaxing, and the refreshing scent of mint and lavender did soothe him. The soft fur was nice under his palms and it was super cuddly as his namesake. Everything perfect for a nap, Felix still didn't sleep. His mind still raced, so much was going on that it seemed so easy to fail. Maybe he should have done paperwork as he told Luka and Marinette?
It seemed wrong somehow to take a nap, the idea of guilt had him frown and tense. To just not give 100 percent in everything. It wasn't his style, Felix was nothing if not tenacious and driven. He worked hard to fulfill his goals. He would succeed in everything. Whether it be acting, directing, or this new superhero thing. Maybe, somewhere on the bottom of the responsibility pole, he could have a social life and new friendships. The image of Marinette and Luka flashed in his mind and he felt guilty. He’d turned down a chance to nap with them in order to spend time with a neglected Chloe.
"Stop thinking, you're not being a good pillow." Chloe grumbled at his ear, tightening her hold on Felix until he whined in protest. "Naps are bandaids to the soul, or Claude claims. That means no thinking."
"I can't just turn it off, Bitchoise." Felix grumbled, a bit helpless, which had the girl sigh and move.
Felix felt a bit off kilter as he suddenly felt the loss of Chloe's body pressed against his back. It was quite sudden and he turned back looking over his shoulder to see that the girl had adjusted herself propping herself up. The strawberry cow print pillow now supported her elbow as she rested her chin on her hand.
She dragged him over and Felix went from looking over his shoulder to on his back looking at the ceiling. Felix felt his hands tighten on Mr. Cuddly defensively, keeping it close to the chest because Chloe was less likely to pinch or tickle him if he had one of her most prized possessions at hand. If the kwami noticed or not Felix was unsure. As far as he could tell, the two stayed glued to Clint Eastwood and whatever movie he was in that they watched.
"Talk it out." Chloe spoke, gesturing with her free hand that Felix should continue and do that. Talk it out, it being the closest either blonde would readily admit to feelings. Felix made a face filled with his distaste and he snarked back at her.
"I must tell Claude he's doing wonderful in your empathy program, Allen also for writing the code."
"Stop it." Chloe snarked, flicking his nose with her free hand. "No deflecting, you don't let me do it so pay up."
Felix groaned, pressing his face to the soft fur of Mr. Cuddly if only to avoid Chloe's knowing gaze. It felt ever since she was bonded with Milvii she saw everything. As if the perception of the kwami bled into the holder; which was unfair. Felix wasn't feeling particularly courageous. He was feeling so weird and confused. Oddly bereft and he wasn't sure if it was one specific thing or a combination of anything.
"I don't know what it is." He confessed. "But I feel like a rope fraying on the ends a bit."
"Hmm…" Chloe hummed thoughtfully as she took into consideration his words. "I'm going to say stuff and you'll listen."
"When you put it like that it means I won't like it." Felix groaned, sinking deeper into the bean bag.
"Don't care, stop fussing." Chloe flicked him again if only to catch his attention, and it wasn't often she could. "You're not a crocodile."
"Your observations are astounding, madam." Felix snarked, he couldn't help it. "What next? I'm not a bear?"
"You're not, maybe an English badger if we’re lucky. Sadly you're a certified bastard with pedigree to match" Chloe followed him easily. "But as I was saying, Crocodiles don't need to chew their food, they bite off and swallow; you’ve been doing that too lately, and you keep on biting off more than you can handle. You're running yourself ragged trying to do a lot and looking cool the entire time.”
“I am prepared and capable with all of my tasks. I'm Felix Graham de Vanilly, we’re very resourceful.” Felix defended himself, but the words sounded weak and hollow even to himself.
She gave him a “you’re not fooling anyone” look which reminded him of his mother. “Fe, we both know that is a lot of bs. I mean, actor and director, ok, both high intensity but in the same wheelhouse. I am willing to admit you’re very capable, resourceful and good with the networking to have brought an outstanding team to back you up. You're reminding Gabriel Agreste that he's nothing but a Boomer and you will defeat him.”
Chloe could tell she didn’t have him convinced just yet and sighed, throwing her hand in the air. “That plan is fun and isn't constant. We get our opportunities and have a field day. I mean it took you days to ride off the high you got showing his little secretary who’s boss which was very nice. The hero gig? Yeah that's taking a lot of our time, I mean--" Chloe paused to yawn as if proving her point. "We're tired, and you focus on what more you can do than learning to juggle what you got. So shut up and nap, you need beauty sleep. If only to make your personality more tolerable to the nice folk."
Felix wanted to protest. Say something, anything to prove her wrong. Sadly there wasn’t much to counter her offers. He was running himself ragged, a rope overused and beginning to fray. He didn’t like it but it was the truth. Dissatisfied with his mortal limitations which were showing up more and more since he’s been in France, Felix sighed, defeated. He needed a massage, a nap, and a nice hour or two of absolutely nothing. Now was sadly not the time, so wasting the precious minutes they all grabbed to sleep felt wrong.
“I might concede…for now, but I’m tired so let’s try to nap.” Felix spoke quickly, turning and resting his cheek on the pillow once again ignoring the satisfied smirk Chloe had as she hugged him once again. It seems the little talk worked in untangling a part of his head for now as he felt himself slipping off into slumber. The low noise of the tablet was soothing like any lullaby, the soft and plush beanbag and pillows were grand, and the weight of another person made him feel less lonely.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Sleep, while difficult to achieve at first, was welcomed eagerly by overworked, tired heroes that basically had their lives divided by two or three different directions. Four if the overachievers were asked, which were sadly most of the heaviest hitters.
While exhausted teens took the fleeting moments to nap with relish; momentarily disconnecting from all responsibilities in their dreams, relaxed and deep in slumber, somewhere in Paris a certain man was making plans to ultimately disrupt momentary serenity. He didn't know that the outcome of this particular plan would backfire spectacularly on his face. With this instance he will gain even more enemies. Not that they knew about it, but this is how it happened.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Hidden from the prying eyes of Paris there was a man. Sunlight shone through an ornate window illuminating the room. Butterflies began to flutter about as it has happened every time he stepped in with ill intent. Hawkmoth thought it was time for a new plot to enact his schemes. Take the miracle jewels of Paris's favorite crime fighting duo and do with it his ultimate evil plan.
"A new day, a new opportunity." Hawkmoth spoke to his butterflies. “Let’s go find one, shall we?”
Hawkmoth tapped into the intrinsic value of the butterfly. Yet for transformation there needed to be a catalyst. Caterpillars had a catalyst that encouraged them to transform and with the miraculous Hawkmoth could manipulate humans to do the same. Yet it was difficult if the circumstances weren't in his favor. 'Twas a delicate balance that Hawkmoth employed, finding the best scenarios to awaken.
He focused and felt himself connect. A network of all living beings lighting up like a map in his mind. Pulsating and illuminated with the colors of emotion. It always felt overwhelming when he stretched his consciousness so far, so he began to refine it. Remove his connection from plants and animals, while they could be good for distractions it wasn't his intent at this time.
Now Hawkmoth looked at the silken strands of so many potential akuma. Eager to see one who was ready for a little nudge to become a beautiful and terrifying butterfly. Colors sparked in his mind's eye, the network pulsing akin to a heartbeat and in an array of colors. He looked out for specific feelings. Anger, sadness, heartbreak, righteous fury, hatred; anything that would birth a worthy Akuma to further his goal.
Oh, longing. The emotion enticed the villain from where he stood and he delved deeper. Ignoring most of the city until the faintest tendrils of his power connected him to the emotion that piqued his interest.
Looking at that sad graying red of a once vibrant love. A young teenage girl was in love. Aren't they always? She was in love with a classmate who didn't know her, one-sided love at that.
Hawkmoth focused on sending his consciousness further into seeing the reasoning behind the emotions. Memories filtered through his mind.
The young girl was in love with this boy since they were young children. For so long she had been in a friend group and she helplessly pined because she had no courage. She was working hard on building her confidence, experimenting with make up and fashion. Joining the same music club, working hard to learn her instrument so she could spend time with him.
The girl was sincere and tried so hard. She even worked a part time job to buy him a present on becoming the first chair in their club. She had just bought the present and was heading home when she saw something. It was the boy, looking shy and sweet. Laughing with a pretty girl both holding hands when a breeze dropped some leaves onto their hair and taking the opportunity of 'removing the leaf' from each other's hair they stole a kiss. It was romantic and beautiful, a young love’s date and the girl felt despair.
Prodding further it seems that the other girl knew of her feelings, and assured him that she would support her. What betrayal! Such longing! The girl believed if she had the chance, if he would give her a chance, she would prove how much better she was. Hawkmoth couldn't really resist. One of his little purple butterflies fluttered down on her and landed on something starting a direct connection between the two.
"Cry not, sweet child." Hawkmoth crooned, his voice soft and delicate to not startle the girl. He imagined a younger Emilie crying and the tenderness was easy to convey. "Your tears are precious."
"Wh--who's there?" The girl gasped looking around for the origin of his voice. She was in her room, she had run home and was crying on her bed. The opened window showed a beautiful parisian scene but no one there to speak to her.
"I am a friend, and one who's seen your plight." Hawkmoth spoke in the form of a greeting. "I saw the depths of your pure love and the pain of your betrayal. It is so awful that a friend would betray us that way."
"Marie isn't my friend;" The girl spat hotly standing up in fury, the pulse of anger was a wonderful spark. She would be a good akuma. "Or else, she isn't anymore, maybe she was never a friend to begin with." The girl muttered deflated staring at a picture framed on her wall. Of her and that so-called friend Marie, they looked happy. The girl was sad all over again. The ember of her anger was extinguishing, and Hawkmoth couldn't have that.
"Of that I am sorry, child." Hawkmoth soothed, softening the girl's sadness with his limited power connected to this temporary champion, and subtly fanning her anger. "I know not who to pity more. You for the betrayal of a so-called friend, or for poor Laurent. He's innocent and being manipulated by Marie. If she couldn't be a friend to you, obviously she cannot be left with Laurent's heart. She will destroy him."
The honeyed words once spoken, seemed to plant themselves deep into the girl. Flashes of emotions pulsated. Shock, pity, love, betrayal, sadness…all culminating in one perfect emotion. Rage so potent that the light seemed blinding in their connection. Hawkmoth couldn't help the smile, he has her where he wants her.
"We have to save Laurent." Hawkmoth spoke urgently, keeping his kind facade.
"We do, I have to. How didn't I think of this before? Oh mon dieu." The girl gasped, pressing a fist to her chest.
"I can't do much by myself; but together we can save Laurent." Hawkmoth proposed. "All I ask is that you also help me; you see some people betrayed me too. They stole something important and everyone praises the thieves. I so do want the miraculous back."
"Of course!" The girl agreed, not noticing how she began to change. Where there was once a sad teenage girl, was the new dark champion of the villain; with a new mission.
"Let's help Laurent, Miss Cupid." The hopeful voice of Hawkmoth whispered with a far more sinister edge. Yet Miss Cupid did not notice the exhilarating feeling of power coursing through her drowned out things she should have noticed.
"Yes Hawkmoth, and don't worry I'll help you, too. The miraculous will be returned." Miss Cupid agreed as she took off.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Forty-five minutes.
Only forty-five minutes have passed.
FORTY.
FIVE.
MINUTES?!
Three quarters to an hour, fifteen minutes away from a glorious 60 minutes. The universe couldn’t even try to give them the full 60 minutes of extra sleep until all hell broke loose. The sick bastard who was responsible: Hawk Moth. The reason? He just had to create a new akuma. The siren and semi-distant screams filled the questions that filled Felix as he awoke with a start.
Insult to injury was the guitar riff that was Claude’s ringtone in Felix’s ear as he picked up the call.
"LARP." The singular word was code to the group. That they would go and transform, fighting the akuma. It was the first time the code was used, and for it to be Claude was alarming. His tone held no room for argument. It was less of a suggestion, or a question. No, Claude was transforming and was simply telling Felix, as Felix was the leader of the Knights.
"Claude," Felix sighed, understanding his friend was mad. Secretly relieved it wasn't his fault, or any staff's. He wouldn't need to plan contingencies. "We agreed not to involve ourselves with pest control."
"Sorry, Boss," Claude didn't sound sorry at all. "Taking a part time job."
"Not alone," Felix was quick to remark.
"Lady-love is talking to the big guy." Claude explained, he had Allegra talk to Allen. No doubt repeating the same code to Allen.
"What does the heart say?' Felix asked, trying to reign them in.
"Giving understanding support."
Shite.
"Griff, are we cleared to Larp?" Felix asked, noticing that Chloe had jumped into motion. The lethargy of sleep clung like a stubborn lover, but she was moving. She had been feeding both Milvii and Griff, and was grabbing a snack bag for both kwami.
"Not up to the best circumstances." Griff spoke up before turning to Milvii.
"You'll do, Percival has already been awakened." Milvii nodded.
"At least we're taking a back seat." Felix proposed as a compromise, they needed to sneak out of here also. "Stay low, don't be seen if you can help it."
“Nah boss, we’re out for blood.”
Click.
“Bitchoise, we’re fighting an akuma.” Felix spoke a bit absently trying to wake up.
"Already texted your mom, and I memorized possible escape routes D-Marinette gave dealing with our other problem. Ready when you are." Chloe chirped.
Once again Felix wondered what he did to piss off the universe this time.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
The Akuma Alarm blasted loudly, waking two other teens who scrambled. Both needed secrecy to go and help the city. Luka made a quick lie about helping secure the music equipment because Allen was working mostly alone. Marinette agreed and saw as the boy sped off vaguely running to the music room. She opened the window of her trailer as it faced a rarely traveled path and looked at her kwami.
"It feels mean, having Luka run away to transform." Marinette mumbled.
"Well the Guardian did say that your identities couldn't be exposed." Tikki reminded her holder, not really sure if it should even stay true now after everything. "It's for your safety."
Her little bug was running ragged, a friend who knew what she was going through would have been so helpful. It wasn't as noticeable because the make up team was doing wonders making her not look as tired as Marinette was, and the concealer did a great help on covering the shadows that had been steadily growing. Tikki knew that Marinette was enjoying herself, the designing was fun and it was a breath of fresh air to see creativity in motion.
The acting, while a hurdle at first, was growing on Marinette and Tikki was sure that part of it was how she interacted with everyone, especially Luka and Felix. With Felix Marinette was confident, like Ladybug but without the burden of responsibility. With Luka she was grounded and at peace. Which meant that when she had to stand as the leader and guardian of the miraculous alone, it was harder for Tikki to stomach. The Guardians were a network back in the temple and not one person held all the burden, not even the Grand Guardian. For such responsibility on her young holder, Tikki felt bubbling questions pop in her mind. Maybe it was time for a change, for all their sakes.
At least we have Luka helping out as a hero again, and Miss Kagami. I hope it helps remove her burdens. Tikki thought while she looked at her holder. The teen was psyching herself up and looked so alone and tired.
"Tikki, spots on." Marinette spoke the words, losing her usual youthful enthusiasm. She appeared more battle worn and tired, a general rejoining a never ending fight. Scarlet light wrapped around her body and no longer was the girl Marinette standing there. Now she was Ladybug, hero and protector of Paris.
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My Favorite Albums of 2023
The world of music is in a strange place. It is constantly moving forward, with microtrends popping up in an instant and stars being born overnight, yet in a strange stasis, with the stars of the past ruling over commercial fiefdoms with iron fists. One thing that has remained the same is that the sheer volume of music released is higher than ever, and it keeps growing. It's a bit intimidating, but I love it! It’s in my nature to seek out the fresh and new, and I am faced with a bounty of goods every day–I press play on every record believing, honestly believing, that it could become one of my favorites ever.
While I didn’t find any all-time favorites this year (give it time), I did find dozens of albums worth recommending. I listed 75 here, and could have listed 75 more. And I know I’ve barely scratched the surface of the great music that came out this year alone. Nothing you can do but keep digging!
Here’s my list of my favorite albums of the year, with blurbs for the top ten. Scroll down to the bottom to find selections from all 75, plus some honorable mentions.
10. Lankum - False Lankum: This June, the skies burned. Wildfire smoke from northern Québec funneled into New York City and stayed a while, filling the air with toxins and turning the sky blood red. My soundtrack to that apocalyptic moment was False Lankum, the latest by the Irish group Lankum, an album that sounds like the last gasp of a dying world. Spellbinding with both traditional tunes, like the stunningly haunting version of “Go Dig My Grave,” and excellent originals, False Lankum is one of the year’s most harrowing, transporting, and life-affirming listening experiences, underlying spare folk music with ominous drone. Sometimes, the noise builds slowly, like on “Lord Abore and Mary Flynn,” but in other songs, like “Netta Perseus,” the atmosphere collapses at once, drowning beauty in an all-encompassing darkness. Facing down that darkness armed with only their gorgeous harmonies, Lankum sound like the remnants of a lost society, protecting the embers of civilization and refusing to surrender to the void.
9. bar italia - Tracey Denim: Tracey Denim is the musical equivalent of a text translated into a foreign language and then back into English: the original text is The Velvet Underground & Nico, and the translating software is the thousands of bands that album inspired. Tracey Denim subsumes decades’ worth of alternative music into its existential murk. At times, Bar Italia sound like The Modern Lovers on anti-anxiety meds, at others the most melodic incarnation Pere Ubu, or a version of Pulp with every ounce of romanticism beaten out. The band creates miniature psychodramas out of the moments when a night’s vibe shifts from hedonism to malaise, its three vocalists passing the mic back and forth to recreate the profoundly banal conversations that occur after the party ends and only the saddest attendees linger. The real trick of Tracey Denim is the way it transforms this murky malaise into something truly enjoyable–it’s a world you want to revisit, a dogged companion for late nights.
8. Meshell Ndegeocello - The Omnichord Real Book: Invented in 1981 by the Suzuki Corporation (not the car company but given the dual domains of Yamaha, I would understand why you’d think so), the Omnichord is a rudimentary drum machine and synthesizer, producing a tinny approximation of a string section, along with several pre-programmed basslines and drum rhythms. In the hands of an artist as versatile and intelligent as Meshell Ndegeocello, the limitations placed by the Omnichord are a mere starting point for flights of fancy that reach the cosmos, the innermost regions of the soul, and back again. With The Omnichord Real Book, Ndegeocello creates perhaps her most ambitious work to date, surrounding the titular synth with a universe of post-bop brilliance, created by a diverse and accoladed ensemble of musicians that includes guitarist Jeff Parker, trumpeter Ambrose Akinmusure, harpist Brandee Younger, jazz pianists Jason Moran and Cory Henry, drummer Deantoni Parks, saxophonist Josh Johnson, vibraphonist Joel Ross, and fellow Gen X singer-songwriters Joan As Policewoman and Thandiswa. The 72-minute epic is as soulful as any record by Roy Ayers and as adventurous as any by Prince, but radiates a warmth and wisdom that could only come from Meshell.
7. ML Buch - Suntub: The latest album by Danish guitarist-songwriter ML Buch is a gooey, tactile record, filled with sounds that shift and mold into different shapes like Playdough. Many of the songs on Suntub don’t so much as progress as they burble like a mudpot at Yellowstone, melding heavy shoegaze guitars with lumbering drums, airy synths, and a litany of found-sound effects to create a euphonious mush. With song titles like “River mouth,” “Pan over the hill,” and “Clearing,” it’s not surprising that this is an album best enjoyed outdoors, where the guitars can fade into the atmosphere and become one with streaking rays of sun. Maybe that makes sense, maybe it doesn’t. I know I can’t say anything more convincing than this meme.
6. Amaarae - Fountain Baby: Blessed with sharp songwriting sensibilities and the voice that could charm snakes, Amaarae is a pop star perfectly suited for our international age. Fountain Baby is the pop album of the year, stacking bangers back-to-back-to-back, each elevated by Amaarae’s sensual singing and IG-ready bon mots. Using the syncopated rhythms of Afrobeats as her bedrock, the Ghanaian-American singer creates an enchanting tapestry of border-crossing bangers, borrowing elements of Bollywood, alternative R&B, and Neptunes-era hip-pop to fill out her sound. Highlights? Look no further than the majestic “Co-Star,” a charming astrological lyrical exercise, “Counterfeit,” which transforms the Clipse’s “Wamp Wamp” into a tropical dancefloor filler, “Wasted Eyes,” soaring atop thumping bass and a subcontinental swing, and the bold, brash “Princess Going Digital.”
5. Jonny Nash - Point of Entry: A singularly absorbing bit of ambient folk, Point of Entry glistens like morning sunshine. The soundscapes are intimate, but expansive, each pluck of Jonny Nash’s guitar echoing through the cosmos. As the founder of the New Age label Melody As Truth and a member of the group Gaussian Curve with Marco Sterk and Balearic legend Gigi Masin, Nash is heavily experienced in creating understated bliss, and Point Of Entry is most likely the best work he’s been involved with to date. True to its title, the album is a sonic doorway, slowly but surely transporting the listener to a poignantly tranquil new reality.
4. The Tubs - Dead Meat: Formed from the ashes of Welsh punk band Joanna Gruesome, The Tubs is the brainchild of the band’s former guitarist, Owen “O” Williams, in which he is free to be his jangliest, nerviest self. The London-based outfit’s debut album, Dead Meat, melds the best of 80s college rock into a fresh package, at times echoing the romantic cynicism of The Wedding Present (on the strutting, feedback-laden “Sniveller”), the pop maximalism of Bob Mould’s Sugar (on “I Don’t Know How It Works”), and the chiming beauty of Felt (check the gorgeous closer “Wretched Lie”). While the familiarity is comforting to a record nerd like me, it wouldn’t mean anything if the songs weren’t excellent, and Dead Meat is lean, mean, and full of enough excellent riffs and melodies to last far longer than its 26 minutes. Throughout, Williams belies the taut instrumentals with a serrated sense of self-deprecation, painting one of the finest pictures of a hopeless sad sack since A Confederacy of Dunces. On “Sniveller” alone, he admits that he is a "bootlicker," who “wriggles like a worm” and “cowers in the dark,” prostrating himself in the most unflattering of ways to win the affections of his intended. On Dead Meat, he doesn’t need to debase himself to win our sympathy–he just needed to write nine crackling tunes.
3. Sufjan Stevens - Javelin: Twenty years ago, Sufjan Stevens announced himself as indie folk’s premier auteur, wielding orchestral grandeur, raw nerve emotion, and exquisite songcraft like a weapon. Arriving after a time of incredible hardship–marked by the death of his longtime partner, a bout with Guillain-Barre Syndrome, and more–Javelin is perhaps Sufjan’s most devastating record to date. No longer hiding behind geographical oddities or childhood stories, Sufjan confronts his trauma head-on. On “Goodbye Evergreen,” a plaintive lullaby gives way to cacophonous chaos, as Sufjan seems to experience all five stages of grief at once. The nakedly vulnerable “Will Anybody Ever Love Me?” articulates a feeling that we’ve all had while illuminating nuances we might not have considered: to the Sufjan of “Will Anybody Ever Love Me?”, to be loved is to be free; to be seen in full and unshackled from earthly concerns, finally able to ascend to true selfhood. The album’s centerpiece is the astounding “So You Are Tired,” an almost unbearably sad and beautiful ballad in which Sufjan struggles to see a path forward without the person who gave him that kind of love. Javelin ends on a hopeful note, a lyrically re-arranged cover of Neil Young's "There's A World," as Sufjan finds solace in his faith: his lover isn’t gone, he is everywhere; in the trees, the air, and the ocean. Even if I don’t share Sufjan’s faith, I am still inspired by the singer’s strength, as he journeys through hell and back.
2. Veeze - Ganger: Before 2023, Veeze was the Winston Niles Rumfoord of the Detroit rap scene, appearing at irregular intervals to slay a guest verse or drop a new excellent single before disappearing back into the studio. His unkempt appearance and laid-back-bordering-on-comatose delivery added to the mystique, making him one of his city’s most mercurial figures. Years in the making, Veeze's first full-length album Ganger delivered on the hype and more, demonstrating once and for all why he's your favorite rapper’s favorite rapper.
The 21-track project is as dense as a dying star–Veeze packs punchline after punchline into his songs, his barely-there rasp unfurling dismissals and flexes with an astonishing hit percentage. Each listen, I find a new favorite bar, and am surprised anew by an unexpected reference: on "Not A Drill," he relegates his enemies to the "UIP" (unimportant persons); on “OverseasBaller,” he arranges his multi-colored racks into an edible arrangement; on “SEXY liar,” he apologizes for accidentally flexing on his opposition before he “throws shells like taco food”; on “7sixers,” he cracks himself up when he says his money is as fat as Norbit. The first half of Ganger culminates in “Boat Interlude,” a stylistic curveball in which Veeze goes toe-to-toe with Lil Yachty and delivers one of the verses of the year.
If the first half of Ganger demonstrates Veeze’s bar-for-bar supremacy, the glistening second half is a testament to his ear for production. DDotFreezing lives up to his name with his frigid beat for “tramp STAMP”; G-Lok’s beat for “Weekend” mixes gentle acoustic guitars and ambient pianos with a Michigan drumbeat that subtly shifts the song off-kilter; 614ASE’s blissed out “Kinda$” is a tape highlight, allowing Veeze to push the tempo; Rocaine and Koncept P’s “Safe 2” is trap music for the chillout room, as Veeze works a sing-song flow before succumbing to the atmosphere and slurring his words to oblivion.
That’s a lot of words, and not a lot of insight, but what can I say? These are just very, very good rap songs by one of the funniest and most skillful street rappers in Detroit, or anywhere else. It’s a crowning achievement, possibly the defining album of the deepest and most exciting rap scene of the 2020s.
1. Nourished by Time - Erotic Probiotic 2: One thing about me is that I absolutely LOVE sensitive, dark-night-of-the-soul sophistipop that attempts to elucidate the human condition over a bed of luscious synthesizers–think Prefab Sprout, The Blue Nile, Tears For Fears, Peter Gabriel. I was under the impression that people stopped making this kind of music as soon as they heard the drums hit in “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” but Marcus Brown, the artist known as Nourished By Time, created a worthy successor to that noble lineage.
Erotic Probiotic 2 is a showcase for Brown’s deep reservoirs of wisdom, laid over primitive synths and driving beats that take inspiration from freestyle. The soundscapes are warm and inviting, giving gravitas to Brown’s spiritual pronouncements, which they deliver in a graceful, throaty baritone. Opening diptych “Quantum Suicide” and “Shed That Fear” immediately set the tone, as Brown pleads for us to transcend our mortal selves and prepare for the next life. Track three, “Daddy,” breaks the reverie and drags us to the club, adding a bit of ballroom campiness as it floats over a programmed 4/4 stomp. “The Fields” and “Rain Water Promise” bring the best of both worlds, offering revelry and profundity in equal measure. “Soap Party,” with its dancing piano breakdown, begins the comedown, while closer “Unbreak My Love” ends the album by repeating the titular mantra until all tension dissipates into the ether.
In an uncertain year, Erotic Probiotic 2 was a balm, a paean to the power of positive thinking–a radically optimistic work that dares to posit that a cold and unfeeling universe can become joyous and loving, if only you play the right notes. Nourished By Time plays those notes for me.
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Thanks for reading! Below are a bunch more albums that I loved this year, and please check the Spotify playlist sampler that contains music from all these albums and more.
11. Rắn Cạp Đuôi Collective - *1
12. Sampha - Lahai
13. Corinne Bailey Rae - Black Rainbows
14. Being Dead - When Horses Would Run
15. Babyface Ray - Summer's Mine
16. Laurel Halo - Atlas.
17. Avalon Emerson - & The Charm
18. Pépe - Reclaim
19. Chief Xian aTunde Adjuah - Bark Out Thunder Roar Out Lightning
20. Armand Hammer - We Buy Diabetic Test Strips
21. Everything But The Girl - Fuse
22. Sexyy Red - Hood Hottest Princess
23. Marina Herlop - Nekkuja
24. Asake - Work Of Art
25. Leo Takami - Next Door
26. Youth Lagoon - Heaven Is A Junkyard
27. Ryuichi Sakamoto - 12
28. Liquid Mike - S/T
29. Hayden Pedigo - The Happiest Times I Ever Ignored
30. Arooj Aftab/Vijay Iyer/Shahzad Ismaily - Love In Exile
31. feeble little horse - Girl with Fish
32. Boldy James & Rich Gains - Indiana Jones
33. Sofia Kourtesis - Madres
34. Maria BC - Spike Field
35. Freak Heat Waves - Mondo Tempo
36. Lana Del Rey - Did You Know That There Is A Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd
37. Jim Legxcy - homeless n***** pop music
38. H31R - HEAD SPACE
39. Hotline TNT - Cartwheel
40. Animal Collective - Isn’t It Now?
41. Empty Country - Empty Country II
42. Idris Ackamoor & The Pyramids - Afro Futuristic Dreams
43. Jamila Woods - Water Made Us
44. DJ Danifox - Ansidedade
45. Zulu - A New Tomorrow
46. Navy Blue - Ways Of Knowing
47. awakebutstillinbed - chaos takes the wheel and i am a passenger
48. Cleo Sol - Heaven/Gold
49. Call Super - Eulo Cramps
50. Mari Montana - Outstanding Member
51. Brent Faiyaz - Larger Than Life
52. Peso Pluma - GÉNESIS
53. Irreversible Entanglements - Protect Your Light
54. Paco Panama - The Matrix/The Wire Vol. 1
55. Yazmin Lacey - Voice Notes
56. Home Front - Games Of Power
57. Buggin - Concrete Cowboys
58. Swami Sound - Back In The Day
59. MIKE - Burning Desire/Beware Of The Monkey
60. Loraine James - Gentle Confrontation
61. Anjimile - The King
62. Peter Gabriel - i/o
63. Fire-toolz - I am upset because I see something that is not there.
64. Eddie Chacon - Sundown
65. HiTech - DÉTWAT
66. Julie Byrne - The Greater Wings
67. Yo La Tengo - This Stupid World
68. The Clientele - I Am Not There Anymore
69. Antony & The Johnsons - My Back Was A Bridge For You To Cross
70. Slowdive - Everything Is Alive
71. Home Is Where - the whaler
72. Ratboys - The Window
73. Kara Jackson - Why Does The Earth Give Us People To Love?
74. BandGang Lonnie Bands - Bam Bam
75. That Mexican OT - Lonestar Luchador
0 notes