#consider why any of these things are true. whos getting fucked over in the process. that you are one of the people getting fucked over!!!

[transingthebourgeoisie]

If you yourself admit that people born in America have no choice in regards to that, why are you going ahead and shaming them for it? Also "you buy food from all over the world when you go shopping"? No, I fucking do not! I'm sure it's different in other parts of the country but where I'm from basically everything is local! Moreover, I am literally in DEBT! I have NEGATIVE MONEY. I do not benefit from American imperialism in ANY meaningful way! Pull your head out of your ass!

Okay so I'm going to respond to this even though I probably shouldn't

I'm not shaming anyone for shit; stating the fact that american citizens materially benefit from American imperialism is literally just stating a fact. That's not an insult, it's not a moral judgement, it's part and parcel of living in this shithole. I live here too, believe it or not, but my tribe having been literally genocided by the US government does not exempt me from the present structure of US society.

I'm going to be charitable and not call this a lie, but it's simply not true. Do you see bananas when you go to the store? Canned oranges? Rice? Cheap plastic shoved around the checkout lines? Look at the labels on them. Made in China, Product of Thailand, Packaged in Argentina but, for some reason, on sale here in the USofA, at an appallingly low price considering the complexity of the supply chain that brought it to you. Virtually everything you buy is neither produced nor processed in this country.

These things do not logically connect; I am also in debt, and I suppose if you consider debt to be the direct inverse of wealth, - which you should not, if you have even the most basic understandings of the economics underlying the present system, - then I suppose I too have negative money. And yet, I live in the United States. I can go down to the 7/11 and buy bananas from the shitty little refrigerator for like, a few bucks. Bananas grown in the third world, already owned by an american company, sold to another american company, and then sold to american retailers, to be sold to americans, at the special price that only americans get, at any time of year, anywhere in the country. I dislike the banana example as it feels patronizing, but, evidently, we need to start from beneath the concrete floor with a lot of americans.

You are literally on The Internet. A system designed by the US Military and later popularized by US Corporations who, to this day, control such a large portion of it that there is literally no reason, - barring a desire to dissuade onself of the echo-chamber of US media, - for an American to ever visit a foreign-owned website. 9 times out of 10, if you go to a website not owned by an american - or western european, - company, there is an english version of that website. It exists *for you*. For americans specifically. Because *we*, uniquely, are never expected to ever learn any language other than english. Why do you think that is?

you first lol Also get off anon if you want to argue with me; it isn't like it isn't obvious who you are. Have some fucking spine if you're going to lead a harassment campaign.

[dsaf-confessions]

Henry and Dave had 'good' times and bad times, because Dave's not stupid, not even when he was young, he's hurt, he was quite literally physically weak from dehydration and hunger, and he'd never really been shown love before, but I truly think that despite all that he wouldn't of stuck with Henry if there was no mutual emotional connection there. And what do I think that emotional connection was, for the main part? Sympathy. Realised or not. Imagine Henry with this young homeless orphan boy, wide eyed, a quick learner, bubbly yet thick skinned, henry already a fair bit deep inside of the rabbit hole of his frankly deteriorating mind. I don't think there was entirely a net positive there, giving it a go to see if this child could help him bring back David and Martha, or atleast show the world what his intellectual prowess made him. I think there was an unrealised sympathy there that really this child had remarkable similarities to a young Henry, tired legs from pushing around that newspaper loaded bike all day and tired of all his fathers bullshit. Acting far too mature far too quick to stay alive. Hungry, physically hungry, because it wasn't easy to always have food on the table for himself as well. Atleast a bit of him recognised those memories in Dave. And Dave, it was a process, certainly, to realise that this blunt yet providing figure, who also entertained his desire for any educational enrichment long enough to keep him interested, wasn't truly ridgid and harsh. Dave knew he wasn't perfect, more of the metaphorical wire monkey as opposed to the cloth, only providing in the slightest bit to his emotional tenderness, yet I think there were events where he was caught being human. Being so ashamed of himself sometimes he'd drink like his father, and being a lightweight from his usual refusal of any alcohol, simply breaking down and being caught by Dave spilling his guts out about his traumas and past love. Facing an episode and letting his underlying and overwhelming neurotic fear of so much slip, even willingly mentioning Martha and david, atleast once. Things like these, from off the bat, Dave would process, and sympathise with. He would have faced loss, friends, people who'd shown care for him, even street animals hed bonded with, being shot, disappearing, over dosing, dying or changing or hurting, he knew what it was like to loose. He'd been loosing his wole life, and relying on shallow highs and a vigorous and animalistic need to keep on fucking proving he was worth something to get back on his feet again. Seeing this man who provided to daves basic needs and lust for knowledge, with an intellect and foothold on life, hurt like him, was nice. It was nice to know that the bad things would always be there, but he could grow around them. Yet he could still sympathise, and understand, and stick with him. I think Dave realised this, he was more emotionally mature than one would think. But the bad? I think Henry miller lobotomised Dave, and I think that greatly inhibited Dave's ability to consider and understand both himself and his emotions. The lobotomy was failed, so he wasn't completely placid and docile, more preserving this nagging emptiness where his humanity should of been, and having to haul mountains to work his way around emotions and emotional intelligence. Why did Henry lobotomise Dave? It was truly not completely thought out, Henry could provide a whole explanation however, yet the true reason was simply the machinations of a desperate and driven mind. Maybe this will work, maybe this will bring them back, maybe this will make it hurt less, maybe it'll make it hurt so much that I won't have to care any more. Even if it hurts to do it, tugs on the heartstrings a tad to turn this boy into a placid pet, doesn't everything hurt now? Dave was left agonised and neurotic with a hole to fill where his heart was (mwahaha) and an inability to truly make sense of much of his interpersonal relations or how to save his own ass in bad relations. His personality was still there, yet his cunning and freewill was blunted.

And yknow, he was springlocked and all too.

-the pink anon

.

#dsaf confessions #dsaf #dayshift at freddy's #dave miller #henry miller #pink anon

[xomakara]

The Highlights of Romance

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Chapter length - 2,060 words A/N - Ya'll thought I forgot about this, huh? I didn't lolol. I was in the process of writing this and then I had other WIPs going as well lol. I should have another chapter coming up soon.

I'm still wondering my series chapters are shorter lolol.

Chapter 006 - Teasing

"So Y/N..." Johnny muttered one day as you met up for breakfast with him, Renjun and Yangyang in the apartment's cafeteria. Mark declined on breakfast, saying that he was too busy with this new project that he was working on. "Mark?"

"Uh huh..." You nodded, looking down at your breakfast. "What about him?"

"Are you dating Mark?" Renjun asked curiously. "Have you-"

"We're just going on dates." You shook your head. "And no, we have not fucked yet."

"Why not?" Yangyang gasped. "You guys seem like a perfect match!"

"Uh…I don't know." You shrugged. "Maybe I'm afraid to lose myself in him."

"Do you really think you could fall in love with Mark?" Johnny asked cautiously.

"No, not at all." You scoffed. "Just taking things slow."

"Wait, wait…" Yangyang interrupted you. "Hold on. Slow? How do you define 'slow'? One date every week?"

"Well, actually..." You chuckled lightly. "Two dates per week."

"Come on Y/N!" Renjun sighed, waving his hand. "This is ridiculous. Two dates a week? Seriously?"

"Shut up Renjun." You rolled your eyes. "Anyway, it's only been a few weeks. I mean, that's nothing considering how long I've been single."

"And yet you're happy?" Yangyang raised an eyebrow.

"Yup. Happy as a clam." You replied.

Yangyang looked over at Renjun who was nodding his head in agreement.

"I see." Renjun said slowly. "Then I hope that this doesn't change between you and Mark. Ever since you decided on Mark, the three of us has decided its probably better to be friends and help cheer you and Mark on."

The other men clearly complained that you were playing favorites when you told them that you and Mark would be going on dates. Johnny had heaved a heavy sighed, running a hand through his hair before giving you a hug and saying that he wished you all the best since Mark definitely needed to get laid. Both Renjun and Yangyang, slightly disappointed that they were booted off the running list, was cheering you on. You had established a comradery with the three men, the three allying themselves to beat up Mark if he ever hurt you.

You doubt it would happen since Mark was the sweetest guy. But you were happy to have new friends like them.

"Thank you." You nodded gratefully. "We haven't known each other that long but you guys are great. I wish everyone were like you guys."

"Now enough about that." Johnny waved his hand. "How's your novel coming along? You getting any inspirations from your dates with Mark?"

"Err…yeah." You shook your head. "A lot actually."

"What kind of inspirations?" Yangyang asked curiously.

"Well…" You chewed on your lip nervously. "He makes me feel different."

"Different how?" Yangyang raised an eyebrow.

"Good different." You shrugged. "Everything feels different when I'm with him. Like everything else falls away and all I focus on is him."

"That sounds great." Johnny grinned widely. "Is he good in bed too?"

"Did you forget the part where I said we haven't fucked yet?" You rolled your eyes. Renjun and Yangyang burst out laughing while Johnny simply held up his hands in defense. "Mark’s playing hard to get."

"Look at the bright side, Y/N." Renjun chuckled. "Once you two fuck, everything is gonna become clear. Because right now you're lost."

"Thanks." You gave him a weak smile. "Now back to the subject at hand."

"Alrighty then." Yangyang smiled happily. "Well I suggest you continue writing. Write as much as you can whenever you can. Maybe Mark would give you more ideas on how to spice up your book."

"True." You nodded. "Thank you."

"Hey guys." Mark called out, startling you.

You jumped slightly, catching a glimpse of Mark holding two cups of coffee and a plate of waffles. He glanced at you with a sheepish grin.

"Sorry." He chuckled lightly. "Didn't mean to scare you. I actually had some time to get breakfast."

"No problem." You smiled warmly. "Hey, do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead." Mark took a seat next to you.

"Well…" You fidgeted with your fingers. "Since we’ve been going on these dates, my inspiration seems to be flowing in abundance. What do you think is causing it?"

"My charm." Mark shrugged casually.

You narrowed your eyes. "No way."

"Of course." Mark laughed. "I have plenty of charms that would bring forth ideas. You have been writing a lot lately. My charm has definitely played a part in that."

"I'm starting to notice." You nodded slowly.

"And then there's my voice." He continued. "The deep sexy tone that sends shivers down your spine."

"Okay." You mumbled.

"There's also my personality." He added. "The way I smile when I'm happy, the smirk on my lips when I'm in deep thought…"

"Just hurry up and fuck already, you two." Johnny chortled. "Your flirting is hurting my eyes."

"You jealous bro?" Mark teased. "Don't worry, your turn will come too."

"Hahaha." Johnny laughed. "Fuck you, Mark. Fuck you real hard."

"Ooh! Now that is the mark of true friendship." You chuckled.

"Oh, yeah." Mark suddenly clapped his hands together, causing everyone to look at him. "What are you doing tomorrow night? Writing or being a lazy fart?"

"Uhm…" You bit your lip. "Writing actually."

"Excellent!" Mark declared. "Come over to my place around eight o'clock. I'm sure I can come up with a few story ideas that will make your fingers bleed from writing so fast."

"Great." You nodded, raising an eyebrow. "So what kind of story ideas?"

"A sexy superhero tale of romance." He smiled wickedly. "You in a black leather catsuit with spiky armor?"

"You wish." You snorted. “Although that does sound pretty sexy…”

"Ha ha." He rolled his eyes playfully. "I'll be waiting for you then."

"Sounds great." You smiled.

"See ya then." Mark waved as he stood up, placing his cup of coffee and the plate of waffles on the table. "Bye Y/N."

"Bye Mark." You waved back.

“Y’all gonna fuck.” Johnny laughed from his seat once Mark was out of earshot. You nearly forgot he was there.

“Mmmhmmm.” Renjun agreed. “They’re going to fuck. Mark’s gonna fuck.”

“They won’t stay friends after this.” Yangyang predicted.

“Nope.” Johnny nodded his head. “Not after Mark fucks her. There’s nothing more for him than to stick his dick in her and send her back home so she can go back to writing porn.”

“Lord. Why am I friends with you guys?” You muttered, burying your face in your hands.

You groaned inwardly. For the past hour you sat in front of your laptop screen, trying to write but having absolutely zero luck whatsoever. The spark of inspiration was completely gone. The idea of having sex with Mark made your imagination run wild but once you tried to write down your thoughts into sentences, the words failed to flow. All you ended up with were meaningless nonsense. You kept re-reading your last paragraph, trying to see if there was anything wrong with it. But for the life of you, you couldn't understand why you couldn't write anything decent. This wasn't the first time you found yourself in this situation but it was becoming increasingly frustrating. Your excitement for writing seemed to disappear as you stared blankly at your screen. You didn't even know where to start anymore. So you closed your laptop and went to take a shower. Maybe you should try again later when you were feeling less distracted. Or maybe sleep. That always helped.

With that, you walked to the bedroom, stripping off your clothes as you headed to the bathroom. After you shut the door behind you, you started up the shower, letting the water flow over your body. Once you felt clean, you turned the water off, wrapping a towel around yourself before walking towards the closet. Your mind wandered aimlessly as you picked out your clothes for the day. Black pants and a red shirt that made you look a bit more feminine than usual. A white undershirt completed the outfit and a pair of flats finished off your ensemble.

Once you were dressed, you grabbed your phone and wallet, leaving your unit and making your way to Mark's unit across the hall.

You arrived a little earlier than you planned. Luckily, Mark hadn't locked the door yet so you easily slipped inside without difficulty. Your eyes swept across the room until they rested on the man sitting on the couch. You didn't need to see him close up to recognize him as Mark. It was written all over his handsome face.

You smiled softly, tiptoeing towards the couch.

He was engrossed in a game, completely oblivious to your presence. With a simple gesture, you placed your hands gently on either side of his face, bringing his gaze up to meet yours. Mark blinked rapidly, blushing furiously when he finally realized that you were standing inches away from him.

"Hi Mark." You whispered quietly.

"Hey Y/N." Mark grinned shyly, rubbing his neck awkwardly. "Thought you almost forgot our meet-up."

"Mmhmm." You nodded, biting your lower lip. You let out a laugh. "I almost did forget."

"What am I going to do with you?" Mark hummed as you sat next to him on the couch. "How's the writing sesh?"

"Horrible." You answered immediately. "None of the words want to come out. It's just I'm having trouble thinking straight right now."

"Maybe you should take a break." Mark suggested. "Take a breather, gather your thoughts and try again."

"Hmm…maybe." You tilted your head to the side. "Why don't you distract me instead? Just say something to get my attention. Something really sexy that'll make me lose my train of thought."

Mark bit his bottom lip, contemplating whether or not he could pull it off. The problem was that he didn't want to disappoint you. You were older than him by four years and way more experienced when it came to sex. You practically knew all the tricks.

It took a moment for Mark to summon up the courage to speak up.

"I don't think-"

"Say it." You cut him off, cutting his sentence short. "Or else I might find myself using my evil plan B."

"B, what?" Mark stammered.

"B. Bedroom." You leaned forward, pressing your chest against his.

"I thought we agreed on no sex." Mark frowned. "Just dates."

"Then hurry up and say it. Now." You insisted. "I need you to distract me."

Mark sighed, giving in. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Instead, he simply pressed his lips firmly against yours, drawing a sharp gasp from your lungs. His lips tasted faintly of coffee and it made you wonder what he was drinking. Then again, it could be just a natural taste that existed due to proximity. You ran your fingers through his hair, enjoying the feel of its silky strands brushing against your skin. Mark slowly parted his lips, allowing you to deepen the kiss further. He moaned lightly as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You melted against him, opening your legs to allow him better access.

"Damn it." Mark grunted. "This is way harder than I expected."

"Are you done?" You asked teasingly. "Because if you keep kissing me like that I'm going to have great stories to tell the guys. Trust me. They'll love it."

"God damn it." Mark cursed, pressing his forehead against yours. "Wasn't this distracting enough?"

"Yes." You laughed, leaning your head against his shoulder. "If you promise to kiss me like that again, then I'll refrain from banging you right here and now."

"Deal." Mark smiled cheekily. "But only if you promise to write one of those sexy superhero stories about us."

"Deal." You chuckled.

"Now come on, get off me." Mark laughed, trying to push you off his lap.

You allowed yourself to be pushed off and got up from the couch, giggling as you placed your hands on his cheeks, bringing them up to press a kiss on his lips. "I'm still going to tell the guys that you kissed me. And it'll be a hell of a story."

"Alright." Mark chuckled. "Let's just hope that you can write something worth reading. No cheating, okay?"

"No cheating." You giggled. "Promise."

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#nct #nct stories #nct fanfic #nct imagines #nct 127 #nct dream #nct smut #nct mark #nct mark smut #mark lee #mark #mark x reader #THoR

[rfdiscoursethrowaway]

alr fucker ill bite

im trying 2 understand the absolute fuckin brainrot that is terf ideology solely so i can explain to people who actually want to make an effort to not be bigoted not fall into your pipelines. i do this already. but i wanna be more thorough and get screenshots and examples for specific questions. ill do a lil back and forth, but you wont be convincing me that all trans women are pedos n rapists and that we need to detransition people en mass and that trans people are delusional. i have a series of questions, if you consider yourself a terf please try and actually answer them, in a way that actually explains your thought process and isnt just calling me slurs because thats most of the discourse on this site. -------

how do you mentally justify the contridiction in "male and female brains have no difference and women are just as capable as men" (true and real) and "men are fundimentally more violent/ women less violent" besides just blatently liking sexism so long as it hurts men and not women (blatently harmful and bigoted just with a #girlpower coat of paint)

if its a socialization issue, how does female seperatism nessisarily help that? shouldnt the goal then to not treat women as an other, and to not define people based on biological characteristics? while biological differences exist they dont affect your mental or phisical capabilities in anything (in regards to biological sex atleast). wouldnt it be more helpful to treat it as simply a medical thing? like a blood type or something? and treat genital preference as just the same as any other random aesthetic preference in partners like, idk, liking fat people or likeing brown hair what is it about gender based oppression that makes you think that its the men that are the problem and not the whole gender thing, because its men thinking that women are fundimentally different alien creatures because we literally define people by their genitals and constantly talk about how your genitals make you fundimentally different then the "opposite". an ACTUALLY HELPFUL soution should be talking about how like, yeah! some of us look different, but thats like? fine? we are people. who cares whats in that person pants. and if your answer is that thats unrealistic and will require hundreds of years of societal change (true) why is your approach to double down on men and women being fundimentally different and not to like? work? twards something objectively better and less discriminatory? most of what terfs are known for is bigotry and thats not some crazy coincidence, its because your sexism (though you love to label it otherwise) naturally leads to transphobia. its because the core of your ideology is bigotry. women shouldnt be discriminated against cuz you are? fucking people? with the exact same capabilities, you do not deserve more/less praise more/less accountablitity more/less agency. infact id argue that this bending over backwords to try and exclude people you deem as men is why radfems are so much more of a pushover to conservatives. your willingness to go on and on about how biological differences make you a fundimentally different person just so you can rant about how men are all ugly evil penis havers just lets you be suseptible to violent reactionary shit by conservatives. regardless of where you come from politically, this applies to BOTH of us, if you refuse to really think deeply and critically about why you hate the things you do and why you like the things you do, and instead operate on gut reactions and absorbing politics from people on tumblr SOMEONE from SOME IDEOLOGY is always trying to take advantage of that. and transphobia IS violent reactionary shit, most the time i see transphobia especially against trans women its based entirely on appearance, people jumping all over themselves to body shame her for not being enough of a woman, talking about how gross and disgusting she is for wearing a dress or for having a deeper voice. why is this body shaming ok so long as you deem someone a man? attatching morality to appearance is just a blatently bad idea and its frankly gross how little so many of you are willing to critique that.

-----

whats your explaination for the tonal dissonance between "i dont want trans people dead and im not violent" and painting trans women as "always being men with terrible intentions who cosplay as women to have an excuse to rape and assault people"

because while you may not directly say "i think all trans people should be murdered" and you do it in a roundabout way with "all trans people are rapists and all rapists should be murdered" that does still say "i think all trans people should be murdered", just with extra steps. and are you aware that this is the exact retoric used by colonizers to justify genocide and slavery? painting black people as "savages and rapists"? whats your justification for painting a large group of people as fundimentally evil and violent, and how nessasarily is it somehow different then the retoric used to oppress any other marginalized group? + if its a "but im right!" consider this is also what a rapist or an antisemite or a mysogenist would say, and why you are parroting the exact same thing. like do you genuinely actually think that having a boy brain, or more testosterone, or a penis, makes you a rapist and a pedofile? really? and again if you agree with me that its a socialization issue why! dont you! treat it that way!! if you mean one thing, SAY THAT! and FIGURE OUT WITCH ONE OF THOSE YOU BELIEVE. because you cant fuckin have it both ways! if you wanna say that we shouldnt be treating women as stupid vile little vagina having worms (real and true) then like, you cant ALSO be like oh i also think we should be treating men as stupid vile little penis having worms >:) hehe i am so progressive and counter culture ignore all the horrific damage that catagorizing people like that has had i think it will be funny when we do it with men you see.

-----

what is with this insistance that people define themselves based on whats in their pants, like if having a pussy is just having a pussy thats fuckin fine alr but if you start insisting that people make that their ENTIRE PERSONALITY and that if you have one you HAVVVEEEE to have only a specific subsection of names and you HAVEEEE to be called a woman and use she/her and shit

like girl it is just words, who gives a fuck, if a guy says hey i wanna change my name to this girl name cuz it sounds cool as fuck its like! yea! hell yeah brother! and if hes like actually i prefer more feminine words to refer to me :) its like! hell yeah sister! how does that hurt fuckin anyone. is using words so hard 4 u. and before you be like ooOOuuyhghhg IM NOT DEFINING PEOPLE BASED ON THEY ARE PUSSY how is catagorizing people based on their chromosomes / genitals / appearance (and lets be honest here. its mostly appearance but you use chromosomes and genitals so you can pretend theres some kind of science proving that youre right, there is no chromosome detector 3000 for real life) not flattening them? like genuinely how the fuck do you justify that. you have to go to a different bathroom you have to go to a different doctors office you have to go to a different sports team all because i assume that your chromosomes and your genitals make you eaither unsafe or violent or constantly in need of protection and fundimentally less capable. terfs love to constantly insist that gender is whatever and then constantly try to force people to define themselves by their biological sex? why is whats in MY pants any of your fucking buisness? unless im at a gynocology appointment you dont need to know shit. all of this girlsgirlsgirlsgirls stuff what if you dont wanna be called a fuckin girl? what if i find it weird that you profile people and assume things about them because of their body? if gender is whatever why do you HAVE to be a male or a female. why do i have to fucking put my biology out on display for people to assume things about me based on? because i KNOW you assume things based on peoples biological sex and i KNOW you think more or less of people based on their biological sex thats half the ideology! why do you think every trans women is a sexist mysogenist who woke up one day at 24 and decided she was gonna be a girllll and wear dresses so she could opress woemennn moreeeee, why do you assume all trans men were groomed and exploited and brainwashed into thinking that theyre boys because of mysogeny and not cuz sometimes? being called a dude feels good? having a dick feels good? having a flat chest feels good? using he him or whatever the fuck feels good??? rad fem shit is just, sexism repackadged, do you never see the similarities? do you never see the fine print? that the core ideology is the same? this is just mysogeny again! like women are always the victim and men are always the perpetraitor. is just women have fundimentally less agency and men more agency women do bad things because theyre dumb and men do bad things because they had a good reason to. is just women have fundimentally less agency and men more agency please explain how that ISNT just the same mysogenist veiwpoints with a hashtag girlboss coat of paint. and this isnt me projecting mysogenistic right wing ideas onto you, i wrote all this stuff while looking through "radfem101" "terf reference guide" "things TRA's need to get thru their heads" posts. theres a reason people get them confused, ive been told these exact same things time and time again by alt rights and conservatives and mysogenists. so witch are you? why do you agree on so much?

-----

how do you deal with the whole, not wanting womens genitals to be constantly policed and have that be all that defines them (true and real) and the very real fact that there is no chromosome detector 3000 and if you want to create "female only spaces" you realistically are eaither going to have to subject billions of women on a daily basis to sexual harrassment to see if they are "real women" or do it just based on appearance. witch is enevitibly going to cause a disproportionate ammount of hate and violence twards black, gnc, and intersex women for not being "women" enough. something that is already happening, because trying to give rigid requirements for what looks like a woman and what looks like a man is always going to impact these groups disproportionately, you know its gonna be based off of like a white skinny cis girl! and uh! not all women are that!

and assuming there is a chromosome dectector 3000 in the future, a) intersex people b) trans men exist, and while im sure you can argue day and night about how they arent real men and phallo dicks are just a mutilated skin tube or whatever half of what you guys talk about is how you feel unsafe being in the same bathroom as someone who "looks like a dude" and who has a penis. considering the strictness in needing 100% gender conformity in trans women im sure the exact same people wouldnt be comfortable with a trans guy eaither, if youd feel ok just so long as they had the right reading on the chromosome dectector 3000 then all this talk about trans women being violent cuz penis and body hair and testosterone is just bullshit. and sense terfs love to play hypotheticals with 100% cis dudes just telling people theyre girls so they can get through the female bathroom security (a thing that totally exists believe me guys) (and also yeah telling a police officer that youre "just a trans girl" would totally actually help you in a legal case dont google trans panic defence shhhhhh its ok its ok, statistics you dont read from "xxvaginawomxngirlfucker" arent real its ok,,) couldnt a cis dude just lieeee about being a trans man? whos saying nobody can lie about my chromosome detector 3000 score! are you gonna put a bouncer in the female bathroom security gates? and like, where do trans people even pee then. we just rename the mens bathroom to the trannies and mysogenists room? the biologically more violent room? yeah lets shove a bunch of little intersex girls into the violent mysogenists room, she had body hair and a harsher jawline and that scared me so im lumping her into the room with all the people i think are pedos and rapists, she will feel totally ok about this and this wont effect her perception of herself, this wont enforce gender roles and make women having a complex about being feminine enough worse. women can be anything! except anything i think looks like a guy. so women can be feminine and nothing else :) but women can be anything i put in this super limiting box! i genuinely cannot imagine a world where this doesnt dramatically worsten sexual phisical and emotional violence against literally everyone.

and to say again. im not looking for quirky rebloggable snapbacks to each of my points i want you 2 put an equal ammount of effort as i did scrolling terflandia and writing all this up. so dont just call me a delusional tr-nny i want you to give me like. atleast a little substance here. something to chew and bite and pick apart

#t slur #but the transphobic one terf is not a slur LOL #radblr #radical feminism #gender critical #terfblr #radical feminists do interact #radfems please touch #radical feminists please touch #radical feminist safe #gender crit #gender criticism #lgb without the t #lgb drop the t #anti trans #trans receipts #LGB drop the T #trans ideology #radical lesbian #terfism #tim #trans identified male #gender cult #misandry #radical misandrist #radical misandry #transwomenaremen #adult human female #i dont agree with any of thease tags just tryna get in2 terflandia

[allycat75]

Let's talk a bit about anxiety, Boston Dumb Fuck.

(a bit of a long one, but I feel some things have been brought up in recent days that I thought should be addressed. Still think I am screaming into a void, but if this helps anyone struggling, it is worth it)

But more specifically, responsibility for ones own anxiety care. And before I start, I want to emphasize I have no doubt of your struggle. It is like being haunted and there are few places to hide. I can understand why your instinct was to shush it all away, but I think you can see now, that did little for your coping skills.

Anxiety doesn't go away by ignoring it, or worse, pawning it off on others. It requires planning, rehearsals and simple acknowledgement to be able to function in your day, doing as little harm to yourself and others. Some days will be better or worse, of course, mainly because anxiety does serve a physiological purpose- it helps us to recognize threats. Our job is to identify if those threats are real or not and to what degree can we mitigate either the threat itself or our response to it. The more we practice, the less we are held hostage by the "fight", "flight", "freeze" and "fawn" responses.

I would argue, BDF, what you have done with this PR stunt is set off a dirty bomb of anxiety, born out of your own fears that got you to agree to this ridiculous plan in the first place, and spread radioactively throughout your fandom. You poisoned the ones standing closest to it, the ones who supported you the most, and began by confounding what was real and what was fake. This, in turn, bloomed into self-doubt and warring factions, leading many of us to question what is true and false and honestly, which was worse. And do we care either way?

You manipulated situations, told half-truths and outright lies, not to telegraph to or protect your fans, but to selfishly create plausible deniability and legal CYA for yourself when this is over. It's like the type of obfuscation used by Aaron Rogers when he smugly blamed everyone for thinking he got the NFL required COVID vaccine, when all he said was he had "immunity", basically saying "I am sorry you were too stupid to interpret the exact words that came out of my mouth and not the spirit behind them."

We are considered collateral damage in a junior high drama produced by grown adults, that we were drafted into participating against our knowledge and permission. We are all a bit on edge, at least the ones who decided to stay to see how this all plays out, and it is kinda, sorta cruel to inflict that hurt on those who had your back at one point, when you know how painful this process can be.

Only looking out for yourself, but what is left to look out for at this point? You look sickly and broken. No real career prospects currently and seemingly no drive to find them. You have nothing to offer any decent woman. No discernible coping or decision making skills. No discernible skills at all, really. There are enough people already making great pottery and I think Jinx can sell dog food just fine without you.

And this is not even getting into how "marrying" that little prize of a wifey now normalizes racism, sexism, antisemitism, agism, xenophobia, fatshaming and pay-to-play vs actual talent and dedication to craft.

So if all of this gives you anxiety, it most definitely should, and know this is of your own making. But the best thing is, it can be of your own fixing as well. You can become the person with discernible skills of all types. You can get roles that match the talent you have hidden within you. You can be worthy of that soulmate Empress partner. You just need to get rid of the wrong people, get a hold of the right people and do the goddamn work, you privleged son of a bitch!

Just some things to contemplate as you come out of your dissociative state, realize you have an impact on the world around you and consider the amends you may need to make to repair the damage left behind.

Until you can get yourself to a trained professional (but please find one soon and start the hard work), hopefully some of these resources can be helpful:

For your family and friends:

#liars suck! #you are the company you keep #i don't like hypocrites #i hate manipulation #coward #boston antisemite #boston racist #boston fatshamer #get some help #do better #stop the shushing- learn the lesson #check your privlege #is this who you want to be?

[elenarodriiguez]

soft like silk chiffon | e.m. & s.h.

summary: a one night stand could destroy most friendships. thankfully stevie harrington and eddie munson aren't most people.

pairing: steve harrington x eddie munson

cw: nsfw, lesbian steddie, transfeminine steve harrington, 18+ content

word count: 2086

read it on ao3

Waking up with Stevie Harrington’s arms wrapped around her, the brunette’s warmth caressing her back and threatening to burn Eddie alive, was a mistake. A glorious, unforgettable, better than anything she had ever dreamed of, wonderful kind of mistake.

“Morning,” Stevie whispered into Eddie’s ear, as if she didn’t want to dare to break the early morning silence of Eddie’s miniscule shithole of an apartment.

“Mmgh.” Eddie responded in all of her songwriter glory.

Surprisingly, Stevie didn’t bother trying to engage any further with Eddie, having known the girl long enough to know that trying to communicate with her before caffeine was a futile mission to take on. Instead, she pulled herself off of Eddie, climbing out of the bed they’d tumbled into the night before, and soon enough Eddie heard her footsteps padding away from the room.

Staring up at her ceiling, Eddie began to compose a prayer to whatever Goddesses were listening into her wavelength at that particular moment in time. It was pretty standard stuff: make sure Wayne stayed in good health until vampirism becomes a thing, give shitheels like Billy and Jason from high school all of the karmic retribution they deserve, ensure that she hadn’t fucked up everything by sleeping with her best friend (who had been the centre of her affections for years now). All of the usual things.

In the midst of the greatest catastrophizing spiral that the world had ever witnessed, Eddie half considered getting dressed and pleading with Stevie to not renounce her and their friendship. However before she could fully get herself dressed, grabbing the only clean pair of boxers that had been unceremoniously stuffed into her nightstand and pointedly ignoring the love heart pattern emblazoned on the fabric, Stevie hip checks the bedroom door, brandishing a mug of coffee and a large tumbler that Eddie would bet her left tit on was full of the caramel iced latte Eddie refused to drink in front of most people.

“Oh my god, I’m in love. How’d you feel about a spring wedding?”

“Not a fall one?” Stevie teased, passing the coffee into Eddie’s grabby hands. “I’d have thought that Halloween wedding shit would be right up your alley.”

Eddie mulled over her response for a moment, taking a long drag of her sugary caffeine as sirens went off in her mind. She oscillated between answering honestly and risking getting heartbroken, or carrying on joking and also risking getting heartbroken.

“It would be, but spring weddings means flower crowns and you wearing yellow because it’s the ‘right time of year for it’. Halloween could never compare to seeing a literal goddess in human form.”

“Eddie, you can’t just say those things!” Stevie exclaimed, her gaze now firmly focused on the mug of coffee warming her hands up.

“Why not? It’s all true.”

There it was, out in the open. For want of a better metaphor, the ball was quite literally in Stevie’s court now. While she waited for Stevie to process, because she always needed time to process even if she wouldn’t dare to verbalise the fact, she sat herself upright on the bed, leaving space for Stevie to sit down should she wish to. Eddie tried to stop her mind from falling into a sinkhole, putting her coffee on the nightstand and fidgeting with her hair until it was in an acceptably messy ponytail.

Once she could no longer hide behind her mane of hers, Eddie turned to look at Stevie, properly looking at her for the first time that morning, and awestruck couldn’t come close to being an accurate descriptor. Here was Stevie, her Stevie, cute little preppy Stevie, wearing the muscle tee Eddie had worn to the club the night before, and some love heart adorned, pretty pink panties. And her eyes, god her eyes were ablaze with want, intensity rolling off of the brunette in tsunami sized waves.

As Eddie went to ask her about her thoughts, Stevie knelt over her, coffee cup now nowhere to be seen, and dipped her head down to kiss her. Even though they had kissed numerous times the night before, nothing could have compared to the way Eddie felt when their lips collided. Her body didn’t even give her brain the chance to flail around, as Eddie’s arms shot around Stevie’s waist, nails digging into her hips, garnering the most beautiful gasps and hisses as Eddie caught hold of some of the bruises she’d left on them the night before.

Pulling away from Stevie’s lips was painful, but the sight of Stevie kneeling above her soothed all of the ache away, especially when Stevie let out an embarrassed squeak and nuzzled herself into the crook of Eddie’s neck. The feeling of soft puffs of air on Eddie’s sensitive skin was almost enough to lull her back to sleep, but she resisted, if for nothing else than to savour this moment.

“So, I take it that means you’re keeping your calendar open for that wedding, huh?”

“Eddie.” Stevie said. “There is no one else in the world I’d rather marry. But how about we try a date or two before we send out Save The Dates?”

“I mean, I guess I could manage that.”

Without giving Stevie any warning, Eddie pressed a kiss to the tip of the other girl’s nose before tugging her down so that all of her weight settled on Eddie. She tensed up on instinct, sucking her stomach in for a moment, at least until Eddie poked her in the side and scowled at her for trying to make herself smaller, when she was already Eddie’s perfect woman. 

“Sorry, habit.”

“No need to apologise. Just remember that I would happily suffocate to death between your thighs, under your ass, between your tits. Anywhere really, you’re perfect and I would be happy to die if it meant I was with you.”

Stevie smiled at her, but Eddie could tell that she didn’t necessarily believe her entirely. Rolling the pair of them over, Eddie began pressing open mouthed kisses onto every square inch of skin that was visible, enjoying the way Stevie shivered under the attention. Eddie slowly worked her way down Stevie’s body, delighting when Stevie squeaked as Eddie bit the sensitive scar under her tit, that the stretched out muscle tee revealed for Eddie, only Eddie, to see. 

“You’re wearing my shirt. That’s so fucking hot.” Eddie said, her chest heaving as she tried to stay level-headed with this masterpiece before her.

“Eddie, stop.” Stevie whined out, wriggling under Eddie’s ministrations.

“You are so goddamn hot.” 

Every word was punctuated with a kiss, the final one crashing onto Stevie’s lips, Eddie biting her lower lip before pulling away with it still between her teeth.

“Yeah, and what are you gonna do about it?”

Reaching her hand under the tee, she chuckled breathily when Stevie let out a whimper as the sharp coolness of Eddie’s rings brushed against her olive skin, her nimble fingers reaching to tease Stevie’s sensitive nipples.

“I think that I’ll do this.”

Splaying her other hand over the soft, smooth expanse of Stevie’s belly, Eddie kept her attention focused on Stevie’s nipples, every moan that tumbled from the brunette’s lips incentivising her further. When her moans turned into pleas for Eddie to do more, Eddie let her hand drift lower, hovering over the pink panties that were now damp enough that they had started to turn see-through.

“On or off?”

“Off, please Eddie, I need you to touch me, please Eddie!”

“Well, if a goddess begs me, who am I to deny her?”

Eddie toyed with the idea of pulling the panties off with her teeth, but the horror that consumed her at the thought of clumsily biting Stevie in doing so deterred her entirely. Instead, she tugged them down Stevie’s long legs, pressing kisses and nibbling at the soft skin as she reached the crevice where Stevie’s hip and thigh met. 

“Where am I touching you then sweetheart?”

Canting her hips up towards Eddie’s nimble fingers, which drifted over her body, Stevie begged Eddie to just touch her, making the tattooed woman tsk in response.

“Now, now, darling. I asked you where am I touching you, and I expect an answer.”

“My hole, please, please, I need it. I need you.”

Now with a goal in mind, Eddie was a woman on a mission, desperate to make her partner come. She spread Stevie’s legs for her, bypassing her front genitals to leave a feather light kiss on her perineum before focusing on her hole. Eddie fumbled for the pack of baby wipes and lube that they had thrown on the floor hours prior, quickly but gently wiping Stevie before lubing up her fingers and pushing the tip of her thumb into Stevie’s hole.

Her reaction was instantaneous, a loud moan tumbling from her lips, a pink flush slowly descending down her chest as she panted out Eddie’s name. Grinning up at her, Eddie slowly pulled her thumb out, replacing it with a finger, beaming when Stevie jolted at the sensation of cold metal against the rim of her hole. 

Eddie revelled in the feeling of having so much power over Stevie at that moment, knowing that her pleasure was in her hands, and boy was it a heady feeling. She was slow to set a rhythm, wanting Stevie to get used to the sensation while also allowing herself the time to get reacquainted with Stevie’s prostate. But when she found it, God did Stevie deliver in her response.

Her back arched up off of the bed, her moans echoing in the tiny apartment, her eyes brimming with tears of pleasure as she pleaded with Eddie to touch it again. And ever so happy to oblige her now-girlfriend, Eddie did as she was asked. She brushed her fingertip against it once more, pressing kisses to the skin her bunched-up tee was revealing at Stevie’s every movement. 

As she went to add another finger, Stevie begged for Eddie to come and kiss her, and weak to the doe eyes that Stevie was wielding, she complied, more than happy to kiss her girlfriend until she was breathless. Feeling Stevie’s hole pulse around her fingers set Eddie alight, and she would have happily done this for the rest of her life, so long as she got to hear Stevie’s moans of joy and pleasure on repeat. 

Pumping her fingers into Stevie’s hole, brushing against her prostate every few strokes, not quite maintaining a pattern consistent enough for her to predict, Eddie watched as Stevie fell apart entirely. She began tugging at her nipples through the tee, hissing when her twisting them coincided with Eddie brushing past her prostate, and yet she refused to let go of them, begging Eddie to do something more to make her cum. 

In the end, Eddie pushed Stevie’s hands away from her tits, telling the brunette to come as Eddie roughly thrusted a third finger into her hole while tugging at her nipple with her teeth. Stevie’s squeals reverberated through the apartment, her face deserving to be immortalised for all of the world to truly witness her beauty, although it was the soft whimper that the girl let out as Eddie pulled her fingers out which truly deserved to be commemorated, as Eddie knew her mind would never allow her to forget it.

Smoothing her hair off of her face, Eddie pecked Stevie on the forehead before speeding off to the bathroom, promising to be back in a moment. Dampening a washcloth, she wiped Stevie down, leaving gentle kisses all over her sensitive body while she tried to snuggle into Eddie. Eventually deciding to give up when Stevie began huffing at her, Eddie threw the washcloth into the laundry hamper, pulling her own come covered tee off of Stevie and throwing that in there also.

“Want me to grab you a sweater or something?” Eddie asked, allowing Stevie to tug her onto the bed and arranging them so that she was curled around Eddie once again.

“No, I’m okay, thanks. Want me to do anything for you?”

“Not right now, honey. I just want to go to sleep right about now, so long as that’s something you’re amenable to.”

Stevie hummed softly, the vibrations settling on the back of Eddie’s neck, and they soon both drifted off as the world began to wake up, with snapshots of bright yellow flower crowns, ball gowns, and love songs dancing through their dreams.

#daisy writes #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #stranger things oneshot #stranger things fic #lesbian steddie #transfeminine steve harrington #nsft stranger things fic

[swabsandcream]

A New Start [Part 3]

Detective Dick Grayson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Dick and Y/N have been assigned to conduct a stakeout for their robbery case, which leads to the two of them having to experience some unexpected events. 

Warnings: Mentions of violence, mentions of blood, swearing

It was roughly four-thirty in the morning. The sun hadn’t come up yet, and the streets of Downtown Detroit were remarkably quiet. The entire city was asleep, except for Y/N and Dick, who were sitting in an inconspicuous car right across the street from the suspected drop-off location, which was a storage unit. Y/N was not a morning person at all. In fact, she didn’t really have a chance to get any sleep after she left the station last night. Her conversation with Rodriguez about the Robin case caused her to draw an entirely different conclusion than she had before. A conclusion that involves her partner, who was sitting in the driver’s seat. They didn’t say much to each other since he picked her up from her apartment, making it a little awkward between the two of them as they panned their surroundings looking for anything suspicious. Y/N turned to look at Dick as he pulled something from the cooler he had in the backseat of the car.

“I can’t believe you brought an entire cooler to a stakeout. What did you even bring...beers? Any kind of liquor?”

“Well, if I knew you were an alcoholic, I would’ve brought more than a bunch of soft drinks.” Dick chuckled, watching Y/N roll her eyes at his remarks while he popped open a can of Vernors and took a sip.

“The hell is a Vernors? I never heard of that.” Y/N reached into the cooler and grabbed a cold can of Vernors, hesitant to try the new drink.

“Me neither until I got here. They definitely don’t sell these back in Gotham. It’s honestly not bad, try it.” Dick sat back in the seat, observing his partner’s reaction as she took a small sip of the carbonated beverage. 

She let out a loud belch shortly after, causing both of them to laugh hysterically. Then the car grew silent, and their eyes were locked onto one another just like the day before. Y/N couldn’t allow herself to get lost in the lustrous eyes of the man sitting next to her again, not after what she had learned during her secret investigation. 

“It’s funny you mentioned Gotham, because I’ve been thinking about how you and Robin are both from there.” Y/N was attentive to Dick’s actions as he immediately stopped looking at her, letting out a sigh of disappointment as he set his soda can down to bury his face in his hands. Ignoring his gestures, Y/N continued to push for a verbal response.

“And now both of you are here, of all places, at the same time. Isn’t that strange?” Dick raised his head out of his hands and looked over at Y/N, annoyed by the smug look on her face, like she has it all figured out. 

“Still not over the Robin thing huh? Hope you didn’t forget what I said yesterday Y/N. I do like you, but that doesn’t mean I won’t-”

“Report me to Nelson? Be my guest Dick, and I’ll be sure to tell him about how you’ve been working with Robin this entire time.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Tyler Hackett. Rodriguez told me all about it last night.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about Y/N.”

“I don’t huh? The main suspect in a child abuse case gets off easy, and you were fucking pissed about it considering the fact that you were hellbent on locking him up.”

“Y/N please-”

“Rodriguez said once Hackett was found not guilty you went on this big rant in front of everyone saying something along the lines of understanding why Batman and Robin do what they do. Then a week later, Hackett is in the hospital with life threatening injuries by Robin, coming all the way from Gotham. There have been several crimes taking place since then, and he hasn’t made another appearance since then.”

Dick was eerily silent, trying to process the fact that his fear had ultimately came true despite his meager attempt to keep her from pursuing this issue any further. She had most of it figured out, but the most important detail was left out of her theory, which gave Dick an opportunity to satisfy her hunger for the truth.

“Ok. You got me. Robin and I are...acquaintances. Back in Gotham I helped him keep tabs on criminals like the Joker and Scarecrow, and if I ever need a favor, I just gave him a call. I don’t like to call on him, but I couldn’t let Hackett get away with what he did to that little girl. Son of bitch better be lucky I...he didn’t kill him.” Dick was staring out the window as he told this strategic lie, avoiding eye contact with his partner in hopes to not get caught. “Despite what everyone’s saying, Robin’s not a bad guy. It seems like you’re one of the few people that actually understand that, so thank you.”

“No, thank you for telling me the truth. I promise I won’t tell anyone about it. Robin is great and all, but I admire how passionate you are about helping people, especially innocent kids.” Y/N reached out for Dick’s hand that was resting on the armrest and put her hand on top of his.

Dick looked down at their touching hands and back up at Y/N, who was glaring at him. Once again, they were caught in a moment of silence, but this time Dick wanted to take advantage of the opportunity. He slowly switched the position of their hands, putting his on top and slowly gliding his hand up and down her forearm. Y/N remained motionless, taking in the feeling of her partner's hands continuously stroking her left arm. Aroused by the tension, Dick decides to take it a step further by leaning toward his partner, being close enough to feel her quickened breathing on his face. Y/N's mind was screaming for her to retreat, but her body remained in place. Her lips parted slightly in preparation for what was about to happen next.

They both knew it was wrong to be doing this when they're supposed to be working, but the anticipation was much too high to dial it back now.

"We shouldn't." Y/N's voice was barely above a whisper.

"I know."

With that, the detectives were sent to an aura filled with pure, unadulterated bliss as their lips intertwined. Neither one of them had experienced a feeling like that in a very long time, allowing themselves to get lost in each other. Dick took his unoccupied hand and grabbed hold of her thigh, pulling her closer to him despite the obvious obstacle in between them. Y/N cupped his face with both of her hands, parting her lips wider to grant him entry with his tongue. The kiss grew more heated by the second, and Y/N had abandoned all hope of regaining self-control. She threw the leg he was grabbing over the armrest, preparing to get on top of him, and then a phone started ringing. The sound of Dick’s ringtone made Y/N pull away from his lips, retracting her leg and shifting back into her seat. Dick was yanked back into reality as he started patting himself to find his phone, which he eventually located in his back pocket. He read the caller ID and promptly answered.

“Hello? Yes, we’re here. Just play your part and don’t do anything stupid. If they sniff you out, you know what to do. Alright, bye.” Dick hung up the brief phone call and looked over at his partner, who was looking out the slightly fogged window, slumped in her seat with her arms folded.

“That was the informant I was telling you about. He just said that they’ll be here in a few minutes to meet a potential buyer for the jewelry.” He didn’t receive a response or any form of acknowledgment from his partner who remained in the same position. 

“Y/N? Did you hear what I just-”

“Loud and clear.” She said with a big sigh, avoiding eye contact with the man she just got done having a make out session with. She couldn’t belief how she just let herself lose control like that. After everything that happened between her and her last partner, not to mention she just met this guy two days ago. 

"Are you upset with me?" Dick's question didn’t receive an answer. "Listen, we clearly both like each other so there's no point of trying to hide it."

"Dick, you don't understand. My partner back in LA...he was more than just a work partner to me." Y/N finally turned her head away from the window, meeting eyes with Dick.

Now he understood why she was being so resistant towards him. She didn't want to get too involved with another partner in fear that she would end up losing him just like the last. Little did she know that her new partner was highly trained to deal with high-risk situations.

"So, you got a thing for detectives then?" His words caused Y/N to snicker, turning away from him with an eye roll. He brought her attention back to him once he grabbed her arm.

"You don't have to worry about me getting hurt or killed on the job. If anything comes up, I will handle it. I promise." He spoke in a very calm and reassuring tone with a smile, releasing his partner's arm in the process.

The moment between them was abruptly interrupted by the sight of a black SUV pulling into the parking lot of the storage unit. Dick swiftly grabbed the binoculars he had in the armrest and put it up to his eyes to focus on the site. Y/N prepared the earpieces connected to the wire the informant was wearing. She gave Dick one, and she had the other, both of them putting it on and watching as the scene unfolded right across the street from them.

"I really hope we can trust this guy. If he screws this up, we'll be fucked." Y/N's concerns were turned on deaf ears as Dick proceeded to watch the criminals begin to converse.

Three of them that came out of the SUV all at once. All dressed in black suits and ties, standing idle right in front of the storage unit. One of them was the informant, playing his part as Dick and Y/N listened to the group's conversation from a distance.

"So, the buyer's not here yet. They're all just standing out there waiting for them now." Dick serving as the commentator, while Y/N continues to look out the window.

"...wait. Something's not right." Y/N snapped her neck towards him.

"Dick what are you talking about?"

Dick put down his binoculars and quickly reached for his bag right next to the cooler. He rustled through the bag and pulled out a handgun, cocking it and handing it Y/N. Her heart started racing, confused about what was happening and starting to panic.

"Dick what the fuck is going on!?"

"It's a set up. They know we're here."

Before Dick could explain further, a black SUV pulled up a few spaces behind them and stopped. The doors opened, and five masked men with guns jumped out of the car and rushed towards them. Dick and Y/N quickly got out of the car, Y/N shooting at the men and taking cover in front of the car. She reached out for her partner, who was nowhere to be found.

"Dick!" She screamed in terror, afraid to move from her crouched position in front of the car. She couldn't see what was happening, but she heard a few gunshots and a lot of grunting. She had absolutely no clue what happened to her partner.

He's dead. They killed him. There's no way he could've made it. Maybe he ran away. He fucking left me here to die! What am I gonna do? Y/N's thoughts were running rampant while she remained crouched, holding the car for support. Then she realized she couldn't hear anything. No gunshots, no grunting, nothing. It was dead silent, then there were footsteps and heavy breathing. The sound grew louder in Y/N's direction, her state of panic intensifying as the footsteps got closer. By the time she could see the shoe of the person approaching her, she jumped up from in front of the car and shot the gun, completely missing her target.

"WHOA! Y/N, it's me! Don't shoot!" Dick held his hands up as if he were surrendering. Y/N's hands were violently shaking, her body frozen in place and tears flowing out of her eyes.

Dick slowly approached her until he could remove the gun from her hands, then brought her into his arms. She cried into her partner's huffing chest, relieved that he was alive but angry about him leaving her so suddenly. Then she realized that his shirt was wet, she opened her eyes and saw blood stains coating his shirt and a little bit on her face.

"What the fuck!" She stepped back from him, wiping her face off and getting a better look at him.

He had blood all over his shirt, and some splattered on his face. She looked over at the five men, who were all laid out on the ground, bloodied and lifeless. She was speechless by the sight, unable to comprehend how a detective was capable of taking on five armed men all at once without any kind of weapon. She looked across the street where the SUV was, but they had disappeared.

"Those guys at the storage unit were a decoy. My informant must've cut a deal with the guy behind all this." Dick’s demeanor was completely calm, despite his heavy breathing he has completely fine. Almost like it was another day on the job. Y/N thought she had him figured out, but quickly came to terms with the fact that she hadn’t.

"Are you Robin?"

"What?"

"Don't fuck with me Dick Grayson. I don't care if you know karate, taekwondo, or whatever. It was five on one, and you were completely unarmed."

"Not completely." Dick reached in his pocket and pulled out a bloody throwing star, carved into the letter 'R'. He handed it to Y/N, confirming her suspicions.

She didn't know how to feel about this revelation. There was so much to unpack, but the fact that she made out with the one and only Robin had taken over her train of thought. Dick stepped closer to her, closing the gap between them.

"Why did you lie to me?" Y/N looked up at his blood-stained face.

"I didn't want you to look at me differently. We both know that I've done some things that I'm not proud of, but I need you to know that I've always had the right intentions."

"I know Dick, and I trust you." She grabbed his hand, putting the throwing star into his palm and closing it for him. “The question is, do you trust me? Will you let me help you instead of you creeping around by yourself?” He snickered, smiling down at his partner in amusement.

“Of course. No going off on my own.” He said smoothly. With his face only inches away from Y/N’s, he decides to take the opportunity to kiss her once more. She cupped his face with her hands as they proceeded, until Dick broke away and looked over at the bodies again. 

“We should probably call this in huh?”

“Yeah, we should. But how exactly are we going to explain this?”

“We were under attack, I tried to stop them, and my badass partner took them out with the gun I gave her.” His fake explanation put a smile on Y/N’s face as they both stepped from in front of the car to get back inside. Once they got in the car, Dick called into the station about the bodies and drove off with Y/N by his side. With the two of them working together in the grimy streets of Detroit, there was nothing that could possibly stop them. 

~ Part 4? Maybe? ~

#brentonthwaites #brenton thwaites #dick grayson #richard grayson #richardgrayson #dickgrayson #robin #titans #dctitans #dc titans #richard dick grayson #detective grayson #dick grayson fanfiction #dick grayson x reader

[jamesunderwater]

do u (or any of ur wonderful writing community) have any advice for someone that has a fic idea that seems likely to be multi chapter but they've never written anything before?

Hi anon!! I'm so honored to have been sent this, and I'm excited to hear what my fellow writers have to say about it! Anyone have thoughts? Tagging a few of you: @mvnvgedmischief @abihastastybeans @athenasparrow @charmsandtealeaves @annabtg @practicecourts

Here's my advice as someone who literally stumbled into their first multi-chap fic:

figure out the ultimate story you're trying to tell. what are the main themes? what is the ultimate point of the story? it's so easy to lose momentum, especially for your first multi-chap. I think it helps a lot to know the "why" of your story so that when you get to the tough chapters, you have a strong reason to push through

create an outline. i know outlines aren't for everyone, but GOD it has been helpful for me. idk where you're at in your idea formulation, but i know in the past my ideas have been like...snatches of scenes, a general concept of the overall story - but it's lacked the specific content of the full story, and that's really tripped me up when it came to writing. with dead to me, i wrote a rough outline for every single chapter, so i knew how i was going to get from a to d to n to z instead of just being like "well, i know what a is. i know what d is. i know what n is. that's enough!" nahhh man you gotta figure out at least roughly what b and c and e anddddd etc. are gonna be too. the outline has changed and lengthened as i went, but honestly, it's still stayed pretty true to the skeleton i created at the start.

my beta reader gave me the suggestion to write out important scenes in the story from throughout it, to help me get a sense of what i needed to happen in between those scenes to get to those points. like for me, the absolute hardest part of a multi-chap so far has been making sure that the characterization stays consistent and makes sense as we go along. esp cause there is so much character development happening, it has to make sense, and that happens a lot in those in-between chapters. so it's good to have a sense of those BIG moments to help yourself stay on track for how you're getting your characters (thematically, character-wise, logistically) to those moments. [i hope that made sense]

find someone to read it over for you/be your beta! it's SOOOO helpful having someone to bounce ideas off of, and if you're completely new to writing, i'm guessing you might benefit from having just a general editor to point out grammatical things or ways the writing could be clearer.

be nice to yourself, take it slow if you need to. everyone handles posting differently - some people like to write the whole fic first, some people (like me) prefer to go chapter by chapter because having people comment and be reading along with it gives you momentum to finish. but i would say, if you are going to go with that second option, consider writing a good bit of the story before posting the first chapter. like give yourself some time to write until you get stuck - that will help you find some of the kinks in the story, figure out how to navigate there being holes in the narrative, maybe tighten up your outline, etc. and also gives you time to get the chapters edited by someone.

okay that's a LOT of practical advice, i hope you find it helpful <3 otherwise i'd just say, it's REALLY fucking exciting to be writing your first multi-chap, AND to be starting to write at all!!! have fun with it, get lost in the excitement, let yourself really enjoy your characters and the world YOU'RE developing. it's so fucking cool to be a writer!!! and all of the stuff i mentioned is part of being a writer, so like...soak it up?? and know that you DON'T have to do it perfectly to be a writer, or to enjoy the process. it's your first time writing and first time doing a multi-chap - literally all of this is an opportunity to learn and also have fun, so I hope you do that and don't get too caught up in the weight of feeling like you have to finish it in x amount of time or that it has to be perfect.

you're so cool for doing this!! and i hope that in some way you share your work with me/this community, cause I would love to see it and be cheering you on <3 i'm cheering you on regardless though!!!!!

#being a writer is the Coolest Thing Ever #good for you for starting!!!! #<3333 #lovely anons #charlie mail #writing

[vacant2007]

goofy things i do

-mentally shut down as soon as i try to type this because oh my god why would you commit your thoughts to text. what are you some kind of self-obsessed ignorant tool

-hype myself up for like 3 days to finally make a Funnie Joak that ive been planning for like 2 years. if nobody laughs at joke, kill self

-walk thru grocery store shopping normally but vibrating with fear and absolutely certain everybody there hates every fiber of my being and would love to see me dead

-almost cry when thinking about how i exist and how unappealing and gross i am and how i cannot take myself seriously because i am so subhuman and repulsive and pointless that even wishing someone would love me is an unholy amount of embarrassing that i cant even begin to process

-if someone mentions an interest of mine casually, immediately clam up and do my damndest to pretend i barely care because if they see me like visibly react or get excited or anything it will be SO confusing and weird and cringe and it will be the talk of the century for them when im not around. or worse they will say 'lol why do you like that so much' which as we all know is a valid reason to consider suicide

-never keep a journal even in private. you think im just gonna say how i feel about things directly? so that the audience of nobody can mock me? i think the fuck not

-behaving bizarrely secretively about purchases and things i buy because id actually rather die than be asked why i bought something/wanted something

-want to hurl myself off a cliff when asked things like 'what's your favorite movie'

-lie about random shit for no reason like oh my god they will hate me FOREVER if i tell them i went to Walmart. I'm gonna say i uhhhhh went to the library. ok cool

-push the existence of new acquaintances who might want to be my friend so fucking far out of my mind that i genuinely forget to attempt contacting them

-get new clothes i think are cool, then never wear them because i feel like the worlds stupidest silly little boy in my shitty little fit

-before stating a fact to someone in a text or whatever, even if i know the fact is 100% true, google it and check it from multiple sources multiple times and read them over and over to make sure i'm not misunderstanding or misreading or otherwise about to make a fool of myself by saying something like, grass is green. once i am satisfied that i will Not sound stupid for stating that grass is green, press send and wait in agony

-on walks around the neighborhood with earbuds in, check every 30 seconds to make sure they're actually connected and that nobody is hearing my music. not only because it would seem really inconsiderate and strange to be blasting music out in public, but also because they will probably think the songs i like are really stupid

-put everybody i interact with into categories based on which sensitive aspects of myself i am willing to share with them at any given time. don't mix them up! i can't be telling personal-emotional stuff to the infodumps guy or vice versa.

-get so violently upset when someone is a little rude that i fantasize about beating them to a pulp while in reality i am just hiding and holding back tears

-avoid being seen in public spaces as much as possible because everytime someone's eyes notice me i feel like they are full of malice even though i cannot adequately explain what malice looks like in a person's eyes. best to just assume all gazes are malignant, then

-wonder why i am So Alone And Lonely while the unread DMs and text messages pile up on me, or fizzle out because I didn't say anything meaningful back

-leave behind me a series of friendly people who probably did try their best to include me and get to know me, but i couldn't find it in me to trust or listen to

-everytime i have to do something no matter how normal it is, wait till someone else does it first so i can gauge whether anyone thought they were stupid or weird and if not, copy exactly how they do it

-worry this is a stupid list

-wonder if there's enough things on this list or if i'm forgetting something that was crucial to The Vibe of it and without it the post will just seem dumb

-put this in the drafts as soon as i get done typing it, where it will ostensibly rot for all of time!



#eh maybe ill post it lol like #maybe somebody with avpd will see it and go 'oh me. lol' and it will encourage me to look into this further #sorry though LMAO i will hopefully get back to using this blog for what i usually use it for soon.i just. dont want this on my main #probably for these exact reasons! #vent cw #personal #suicide mention #tw suicidality #avpd #avoidant personality disorder #(potentially. maybe. said in a very trigger-shy way) #actuallytraumatized #actuallyabused

[ff7-has-taken-me-over]

True mates is still a thing in the werewolf world right? 😂

Thought process was Johnny is convinced that Ali’s his true mate but she’s absolutely adamant that that isn’t the case at all.

There’s a pretty big werewolf population in California (I dunno why, it just seems like it fits) so everyone else is telling Johnny that he should forget about Ali because they also know they’re not true mates but he is deadset on it.

Then Daniel’s showing up, and at first he thinks the twerp is trying to steal his true mate from him but when he makes his way down there and makes eye contact somethings clicking in his mind and he just knows. And he fucking hates that he knows because he’s still so heartbroken over Ali.

Daniel’s a human so the whole true mate thing doesn’t really click as much for him but he still knows something about this blond kid is special. He just can’t put his finger on it for some reason.

Everything plays out pretty similarly to the movie, Johnny bullying Daniel because he thinks it’s his fault that Ali’s not his true mate while Daniel tries to avoid him and all.

But! Just because Johnny’s human brain doesn’t want to accept it doesn’t mean his wolf brain is gonna stand for it. So more often than not, when it’s close to a full moon and Johnny’s a little less in control than he really likes, he’ll shift and go tracking Daniel down. No matter where he is.

It freaks Daniel tf out at first, cause here’s this giant ass dog coming up to him and then proceeding to follow him around like a lost puppy.

It happens every month, around the same time, which lets Daniel know that this is a werewolf. He just doesn’t know who, because the blasted thing doesn’t stick around for long and Daniel only knows three people. All of which tell him that it’s not them.

So Daniel’s stuck, entertaining this stubborn, blond beast once a month while getting teased and relentlessly inconvenienced by another stubborn blond every other day of the month.

Because part of me refuses to believe that Johnny’s hind brain would let him get away with inflicting any harm on what it considers theirs, and he nearly ripped Dutch a new one when he tripped him in the hallway once. So it’s just mild inconveniences and annoying teasing day in and day out. All because he’s in denial and is too afraid of what will happen if Kreese ever finds out.

#fic prompt #prompt #fic #karate kid #cobra Kai #Johnny Lawrence #Daniel larusso #lawrusso #80’s lawrusso #johnny lawrence x daniel larusso #Ali mills #past johnny lawrence x ali mills #werewolf au #werewolf Johnny #human Daniel #werewolf cobra Kai #Johnny in denial #Daniel’s so confused #dumb Johnny #don’t worry #they’ll get there eventually #future lawrusso #true mates #is that still a thing??

[thedawningofthehour]

What was the thing that made Draxum decide on kidnapping Donnie? I know that in your story he had been stalking him for months before he grabbed him but what was it about Donnie that made Draxum think HE would be the one worth all the time and effort? What has his thought process?

A big thing that fueled Draxum's change from the canon timeline to the doth one was realizing that what he was doing was Not Working. He did his mutation bullshit to get himself a mutant army. He doesn't have a mutant army. He poured himself into assembling the dark armor. He can't use it because it would all but kill him and wouldn't do what he needed it to do anyway. His plans had all failed so far.

Draxum's a realist. He could bitch and moan about the dark armor all day, could yell about how he could take over the surface with his army of mutants, but at the end of the day nothing would have changed. He doesn't have his dark armor, and he doesn't have his mutant army. That was reality. Nothing he did was going to change that.

What more, he realized that there was a lot he hadn't considered when first making his plans. The humans were way more technologically developed than he ever imagined, and there were just more people than he anticipated. It's one thing to know that there's eight billion people on Earth-it's something else to actually see how many people there were, in just New York itself, and know that it was a tiny fraction of everyone who lived on this rock. No elite team of warriors was going to be able to kill billions of humans. It just doesn't work that way.

He was going to have to approach this from a different direction. One that Draxum, canonically hundreds of years old and still calls his niece every time he accidentally disconnects from the internet, did not have experience with.

At this point he started thinking about Donnie. Donnie was the only one who held his own against Draxum in the first episode. Donnie and his inventions were what propelled the turtles' antics passed 'nuisance' into 'they need to be neutralized or they're going to fucking ruin everything.' And when his brothers stole Draxum's magic weapons, Donnie kept to his tech because he was more familiar and confident with it. That was exactly what Draxum needed.

(also Donnie is very much like Bella, who Draxum was very close to when she was a child but fought with a lot once she reached adulthood. He won't admit it, but he does miss her. Plus both she and Donnie are a lot like Draxum himself, so there's that)

As for why just Donnie, Draxum says it himself-it wasn't worth it to kidnap the other turtles. Draxum literally created them to be superweapons, they are dangerous. Bringing any of them onboard risked them killing him and/or sabotaging his operation. It just wasn't worth it for a single warrior.

Donnie was a hundred times more dangerous than any of his brothers, true. He could (and was demonstrably quicker to) kill just as easily as his brothers, and he was smart enough that he could absolutely ruin Draxum with no chance of him ever recovering, without Draxum ever seeing it coming until it had already happened. But Donnie was also a thousand times more useful than his brothers. He could build weapons that could kill far more humans in a minute than any one warrior could be expected to kill in their lifetime. His work was vital to the rebuilding effort-the rebuilding, Draxum had a lot of plans for that, but those too he realized would be insufficient. The other turtles, he'd have no use for them after the war was finished-which was fine, he just planned to have them integrate into Yokai society and let them live out their lives, but the fact that Donnie could remain useful to him past that point upped his value quite a bit in Draxum's eyes.

So yeah. Kidnapping Donnie was an incredibly risky, resource-intensive and time-consuming operation. Draxum considered him to be worth it. And that was before he knew he was getting a son out of the deal.

#doth #doth asks #baron draxum #donatello

[beatsboy]

4.14.24 @ 1:34

i don’t journal enough. especially given the fact that i don’t really have anyone in my life right now that i feel like i can go to for consistent support. there are people, and yet, i still feel like i have no one to talk to. i have decided in my head already that tb is the only one, that they’re the only person who will always be there for me, no matter what. because the other option is friends who simply aren’t very emotionally available. and i’m not always either, but i try to be for them, and i’ve also had a lot more therapy than most of the people around me. and even as the person who people ask for advice on communicating, i still can’t fucking communicate well. i feel like i fail in communicating every fucking day.

this entire week i have had incident after incident that has sent my nervous system into complete chaos and have had to figure it out and regulate/calm down myself. i suppose this is what all humans do, or what many of us do. figure our shit out on our own and then deal with it alone, and that is what i’m working on in weaning from a codependent relationship. i can’t believe it’s been almost a year since we broke up. i didn’t think it was the end back then.

and every time i tried to go to the people i think of as my support system, i felt, well, less than supported. i feel so blind in this entire process of releasing my first ep, most of the time i feel like i have no idea what i’m doing. i reach out to people with questions or help with things that come up, and then when i don’t hear back and make the call on my own in the moment, when my nervous system is on fire, i get criticized for not making the right call. it’s never the right choice. i’m pretty sure i upset everyone i communicated with this weekend. watching resident alien alongside this chaos has been quite the parallel. and being sick doesn’t help any of it.

mf is back to ignoring me, i guess. i know they have a lot going on, but i’ve barely heard from them since thursday when we last saw each other. i miss them, and i could really use some support right now emotionally, but it feels like there’s barely enough space to talk about the things happening in the now, the logistics, the important stuff. i don’t know why i can’t consider my emotional needs as important. i don’t know, i guess we’re not really there yet. they say they’re learning to be vulnerable, and i am proud of how far they’ve come. i just wish they would extend the same to me when i tried to be vulnerable. i stopped trying, i guess. i got frustrated, and hurt. so i sopped trying to make them the empathetic, receptive person i had in my head, and tried to just accept the person they are and where they’re at in life. i can’t expect them to be any older than they are, at the end of the day, they are 23, not 30.

i’m not going to lie, when they kissed me, i thought about it. what if we did date? but then, after they started dating a man who has everyone concerned, who they won’t even introduce their friends to, two days later, after i watched that relationship take off and swallow them whole with it, i saw how much i did not want that. i watched them disappear into a new relationship, days on end with barely any communication, still talking to their ex. i wish my therapist could talk to them, honestly. she would not take the bullshit they tell themself. i know they think what they’re saying is true, that those conversations don’t affect them, that they’re over it. i watched them cheat on him rather than tell him it was over. i told them that i thought sometimes when people frame us as something we are not, we sometimes become that thing out of spite. i don’t think it’s that, though, anymore. i think they do something fucked up at the end so it’s not his fault why it didn’t work. because that would be harder to admit. that that person just isn’t the love of your life. i think it’s easier for them to believe that it’s their fault than to let go. and i get that. i’ve been there too. i don’t take it personally, but i’m trying to be less involved with people’s life choices going forward, i suppose.

they kept saying how ready they were, and maybe they are ready to love again. i remember when i felt love again, with tb, after not feeling it for so long. i thought i would never feel that kind of passion, connection, intimacy, ever again. i understand. they are there now, though, and i am here. i am content with not chasing love if it means waiting for a partner who is where i’m at. who can communicate, who can be consistent, and who will not dive down the path of codependency at the first hit of dopamine. i can’t do that anymore. and maybe that’s why i can’t be with anyone right now, because i know that for me, it is still so fucking hard to be alone. i am this fucking close to calling tb to come take care of me while i’m sick—i won’t, though (they work tonight lol but jk i actually won’t). i want to, though, because my dog can’t take care of me, and she doesn’t talk back, and loneliness still crushes me every single night before i force myself to sleep.

that’s why i know that i can’t be in a relationship right now. that’s why i know i can’t even know if i want to be with tb. of course i do, now. i am lonely. when i can be content in my aloneness, i will know what i want. i can’t trust this feeling when i am still so afraid of being alone.

#deardiary #mine #ventpost #personal #adhd #audhd #autistic

[sticks-and-souls]

Before You Go

aka Rex Coming to Terms With Ahsoka Leaving the 501st After The Wrong Jedi Arc

AO3 link here, full oneshot below:

Rex’s footsteps echoed heavily down the hall as he stormed through their temporary barracks on Coruscant. It was supposed to have been run of the mill. The men get a week or two of down time while General Skywalker and the Commander take care of this bombing investigation for their Council. But now…

Now…

He took a shaky breath and turned down a corner, completely on autopilot. He felt so angry that it was like his heart, his blood, and everything inside him had turned into lava and the only way it wasn’t all spilling out of him was because he was clenching his jaw so tightly. 

The itch burning through him to fucking do something to fix this was completely at odds with the absolute truth that there was nothing to be done. They had cleared her of charges. She was still choosing to leave. With a herculean effort, he reined himself in from slamming his fist dead into the wall of the corridor. 

He couldn’t do anything to fix it because what needed to be done was to turn back the clock and make this entire debacle not have happened in the first place. He closed his eyes as regret bled into the liquid rage coursing through him. How many times in his short life had he wished for a do-over on how something had played out? And now, like all those times, all that was left was to deal with the fallout instead. 

He clenched his teeth harder. And apparently, part of that fallout included him being batshit out of his mind. 

His swirling thoughts were useless. He was thinking and feeling so many things, all pinging off of one another, that he could process none of them. Nor, he realized bitterly, did he want to. He couldn’t fight this and he didn’t even want to pretend to fight this. The firing range was usually the first place he ended up after losing a soldier. Each bolt blazing across the empty space allowed his brain to focus on something else and pretend that this practice would save everyone next time. And in the meantime, his pain and grief and powerlessness could all swirl around in the background until it settled down enough for him to take it one thought at a time. But every time he considered turning back to the range now, his mind violently rejected the idea outright. He didn’t want to know what he was feeling, it wouldn’t matter to realize who all he blamed for this, he wasn’t interested in discovering why he felt nearly as angry about this as he had been on Umbara. 

He swallowed around a renewed surge of lava that boiled up his throat over that realization, but it was true. And to hell if he was going to give that closer inspection right now. If staying angry let him draw a sheet over those mental boxes that he didn’t want to look inside—one of which was to begin grasping the impossible reality of moving forward in this neverending war without her—then he could just stay fucking livid. Forever, if he had to. Sorry General, since I don’t want to deal with even thinking about going back to the front without her, we have to stay here. Sorry Chancellor, the 501st can’t leave Coruscant without Commander Tano, so we’ll just have to press pause on the war effort. Sorry Separatists, no one showed up to fight today, I guess you’ll just have to do yourselves in. Congrats everyone, Captain Rex just ended the fucking war by being fucking angry. 

He had stopped in the middle of a corridor and when he crawled out of his head to actually get his bearings he realized he was standing in front of her closed door. 

He stared at it, not really seeing it, transfixed by the unblemished gray empty surface. This was the last place he should be. He wanted nothing more than to talk to her and had absolutely no idea what he should say. Besides, how could he ask her to worry about taking care of his feelings on top of her own right now. 

The gray door stared back at him. 

What was he supposed to do without her? What were any of them supposed to do? Skywalker had looked like he was going into shock. 

He should knock. 

No, he should leave.

His limbs refused to move towards either action. 

Would he plead her not to go? 

…

…Did he wish he could leave with her?

Abruptly, he felt like he was falling, like the gray void might consume him, and the anger that he had been gripping to so tightly was suddenly slipping through his fingers. 

He lurched himself into motion, back the way he had come. He was in no condition to talk to her. She probably wasn’t even here. Needles pierced through his gut. What if she had left already?

“Rex.” 

He stopped in place. For the first time since the news had broken, silence descended on his thoughts. 

He looked down at the floor—how had he never noticed how completely gray everything was?—

“I was just leaving,” he said. If he didn’t turn to face her now, would he be able to stay frozen in the times before this horrible week?

“You can come in if you’d like,” she replied and her footsteps receded back into her room. 

He turned around and followed her inside. 

Her back was to him and she was looking down at her limited belongings on the bunk. She had a single bag—non-military issue—but it looked mostly empty. Probably just her change of clothes. She was standing tall but there was a slant to her shoulders, like her spine was stiffly holding all of the rest of her up from wanting to sink beneath the floor.

He set his helmet on the small table by the door. Now that he was looking at her, he wanted to be sure he could drink in every detail: the warm sienna of her skin, the bright striping of her montrals that almost matched the blue of the 501st, the colorful beading—

His brain stopped. Her padawan beads were gone. This was really happening. 

And then she turned to look at him and the absolute loneliness in her expression was like a punch to the gut. 

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. 

In two steps he had reached her and wrapped her up in a tight embrace. 

How could they have done this to her? This incredible and brave and fierce and compassionate young woman. Wasn’t she everything they claimed to uphold? Hadn’t they seen how much she had sacrificed for them? To be like them? Because she believed in what it was to be a Jedi?

“I’m sorry,” she whispered again, not seeming to mind that his armor was probably digging into her.

“No,” he shook his head. “No. You deserved so much more than how they treated you.” 

He could actually feel her squeezing back through the rigid strength of the plastoid. She nodded slightly, then with more momentum, then she was trembling and he realized she must be crying. The room lost focus and he realized he was crying, too. 

It was such a strange contradiction to feel like he had lost her and still be able to hold her close. The knowledge that this was the last time he would see her kept rolling over him but it was such a foreign experience to have a warning like this that his arms clung to her in blatant denial, as if to say “can’t you see she’s right here?”. But before today, they were either both going to survive the war or one of them would die in the blink of an eye first. There had never been a third option until now. Was this better? Should he be grateful that, for once, he was actually getting a chance to say goodbye? 

His chest contracted again and he tightened his hold on her as more tears slid down his cheeks. It would seem that saying goodbye didn’t make loss any easier. She was still about to be completely beyond anywhere he could reach her. 

Her breathing was eventually becoming steadier and he began moving his hand up and down her back, realizing the motion was helping to calm him as well. If this really was the last goodbye then he would make sure she left knowing there were still people who loved her, who would always have her back. 

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

At last, she took a step back and dried her face on the back of her hands. Her eyes were puffy and a little glassy when she looked up at him. 

“You can still trust them,” she said, her voice scratchy from crying.

Rex lifted his gaze and looked away, suddenly feeling exposed. It was like she had peered into the swirling thoughts inside his head that he was refusing to identify and easily plucked out the one that mattered the most. She had named his molten anger—accurately—and by doing so, made him powerless to stop it from rising through the cracks that had cooled over the top of it. 

“After this?” he replied, meeting her gaze again. He recognized the rarely-heard defiance in his tone.

A small furrow pinched between her eyebrows. “This war has been so long, and the right course of action is so clouded to see right now. We’re all just trying to do what we think is best.”

And they thought it was best to alienate their own allies? His pulse was rising again. Their own people?

“It’s ok to be angry with them,” she continued, and he barely caught a humorless smile that flickered at one side of her mouth. “But…they are trying to do what is best for the Republic.” 

He sighed. He was starting to think that what was best for the Republic discarded a lot of people in the process. “I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

She nodded in quiet understanding. “Then maybe… Maybe just trust that you can trust Anakin.” 

Anakin Skywalker. His general. A Jedi, but also…somehow different from them. 

He sighed again but this time more in acceptance. “Ok.” Trusting General Skywalker might be all he could manage right now as far as the Jedi were concerned…but he could manage that. 

“And Rex,” her expression trembled for a second. “It’s also ok for you to be angry at me, too.”

“I’m not. I’m…” he looked down and away, struggling to find the right words. 

“But if sometime later, you find that you are,” her voice began to wobble again, “because you have every right to be—” 

He took a breath to interrupt but she gently put a hand on his vambrace and continued on, in spite of her eyes filling again. “I hope you can remember how very, very sorry I am,” her breath hitched, “because I know you all trusted me to not just leave you.” As her tears spilled over again, he scooped her back into his arms just in time to hear a muffled “And I’m so s-sorry.”

“Shhh…” was all he said, his hand moving soothingly up and down her back again while she cried quietly. Was he angry at her? He didn’t feel like it; there were so many better candidates to assign blame to right now. Her apology echoed through his thoughts. He certainly didn’t want to be angry at her, but did he have a right to be? Beneath all this rage, was he hiding from himself that he was mad at her, too?

Her sobs began to take on a despondent edge that had been absent during their first hug and the answer came easily to him.

“Ok,” he said, leaning his head down closer to her ear. “Ok, I’ll forgive you. Shhhh…” He took a deep breath and felt some of his tension lessen. “I do forgive you.” Because it was easy to. “It’s ok, Ahsoka. We’re gonna be ok.” 

And they could be. For her. They would be extra vigilant knowing she wasn’t there to look out for them on the field. They would remember her strategies, remember her leadership, and look after her general. They could be ok. 

When she sounded like she had regained a bit of control over her emotions, he leaned back slightly so he could look at her without releasing his embrace. “Are you gonna be ok?” he asked, seriously. 

She took a deep, steadying breath while she considered his question, staring at his chestplate without really looking at it. After a moment, she gave a resolute nod. 

He felt another notch of his tension let go and he nodded back, realizing he believed her. He had seen her be independent and strong, but also personable and caring. She would find her path because she had to, and others would help her when she needed it. 

And yet…

“You ever need anything,” he said. “—Anything at all—you comm me. And I’ll…I’ll figure out a way to make it happen. Ok?”

She gave him a wan smile but didn’t say anything.

“Ok?” he said again, with more emphasis and her smile widened. 

“Ok,” she said earnestly, finally reading how sternly he needed her to understand him. After a second, her lips pressed together in a fractional tremor. “You watch your six, ok?”

A half-smile pulled at his mouth, which morphed into a full chuckle when she said “Ok??”

“Ok,” he promised. 

“Be careful,” she whispered. 

“You too,” he said, quietly. 

This was it. He could feel their time was down to seconds left and his thoughts began to scatter at the prospect. Was he supposed to be able to walk away while she was still here and alive? Is that what saying goodbye meant? Leaving when you still actually had time left? How? Why?

What was he supposed to say that would be his last ever words to her? What could possibly encompass everything that she was? That they were to each other?

“May the Force be with you.” He spoke before really realizing it. He’d never said the phrase before, only heard it exchanged, and the words felt funny in his mouth. For a second, he almost regretted it because she looked like she may cry again, but she launched her arms around his neck and he caught her in a final hug. 

“And with you.” She said it with such feeling that he could tell she meant it. She emanated warmth through his gloves and he closed his eyes to commit this feeling to memory.  

He found himself thinking on it later, the smell of ozone crisp as he fired bolt after repetitious bolt into the target at the end of the range. The Force had always been something other—a Jedi thing that didn’t apply to the rest of them—but he found himself hoping her prayer really did extend to him too. He missed her fiercely already, but she didn’t feel gone. If the Force was with them, and she was connected to the Force, did that mean she would still be with them, too? 

The memory of her lonely expression surfaced in his thoughts but it was quickly chased away by the feel of her embrace.

He hoped so.

--------------

Posting to @officialrexsoka for Rexsoka Week 2022!!! I thought it fit best with Day 3: Exile. Thanks for running the event for us this year and for everyone who participates in this fandom!

#captian rex #ahsoka tano #rex and ahsoka #rexsoka #Rexsoka Week 2022 #the wrong jedi #soft rexsoka #emotional hurt/comfort #my writing #my fanfiction

[coldresolve]

I’ve never understood why torture not being justifiable or effective is at all hard for people to understand. Hurting people doesn’t “achieve” anything except…hurting people. And that’s really the reason people do it, not for the sake of anything nobler or more sensible than inflicting pain and having power over someone else. That’s the whole point, that’s all there is to it, there is no greater goal. It’s just fucking hurting people.

i don't actually believe theres some epidemic of writers out there who are convinced that torture is good, just for the record. or that people who weave torture apologia into their writing do it under the assumption that it's all true and valid - i think theyre just falling into convenient tropes they learned from war propaganda. which isnt necessarily their fault. unless they're aware of it and just don't give a shit about the moral integrity of their work, in which case, consider me disturbed

i get that its easy to paint it as "torturers just do it because they want to hurt people" but that's just a little unrealistic imo. im a realism guy. like i said, rates of ptsd are similar in torturers and victims - something that doesn't make torturers less accountable for their actions, it just points to the fact that torture is destructive in literally all directions. people don't typically torture other people because they think torture is good or noble. they do it because they think torture is useful, which is the myth that's so hard to kill.

useful -> justifiable under some circumstances -> uh oh guantanamo

torture isn't useful. if you torture someone and have a goal in mind, they will be substantially worse at doing literally anything you could ask them to do, including but not limited to recounting important information, working, listening to and processing that thing you're trying to convince them to believe, liking you as a person, etc. if you want to achieve literally any goal, torture is your worst option. and any suggestion that it isn't - that's torture apologia, cope and seethe. "torture is bad" is just not where this one begins and ends ykwim. i wish it were that simple

#asks #i should start a torture ranting tag honestly i love talking about torture. and it would annoy the people who disturb me so theres that #i was gonna say sth about sadistic gratification in torture but studies on sadism are generally sparse so. i know nothing #about anything in general but like especially about that #torture discussions

[fandomsoda]

Let's play a game! Spot the difference!

Look at the replies in these two posts.

https://www.tumblr.com/a-god-selfmade/735285489689608192/you-ever-apologize-and-then-get-absolutely?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/largefound/734626740408893440/announcement-related-with-the-vent?source=share

What's something they have in common? You.

What's something they don't they have in common? You being a decent human being who can feel for others.

Before you attack an innocent person again, Largefound did not send me.

First, you completely ignore people trying to help you keep safe from Skeletal. You were told things about him, with proof, but you're blinded by favoritism.

Secondly, take a minute to breathe. Emotions are weird, I know, but you can at least take a little snack break instead of just immediately yelling at people about emotions you haven't processed.

For once, can childish people like you and Skeletal not fuck things up? I've sent you both asks before, being polite, but I don't have fucking time for that anymore. Fuck you and Skeletal for being such attention whores.

Get your unloyal ass off social media, you fake ass bitch. This is meant to be somewhere safe, don't fuck it up.

I was going to ignore/delete this one just like all your other asks, but I know from experience that you will only continue to harass me and will use my silence against me, so I will respond.

Long post ahead boys, strap in.

Ok so I’ll start with addressing the replies, since that’s the most genuine thing in this ask.

The second link you provided shows a reply I left 1-2 weeks ago and genuinely meant and still mean. I genuinely wish Large well, and as far as I am concerned we are cool.

The first one listed was made a few days ago very early in the morning and was made impulsively. My emotions got disregulated and so I assumed the worst. I am not proud of this comment and I would have deleted it if I had remembered it existed. Not to “cover my tracks” or any shit like that, but because that statement was genuinely hasty, unkind, and inconsiderate of me to make. And I regret it.

I actively want to move on and be cool with Large, I have reconciled my own anger and all the miscommunication from past events. I do not hold whatever happened here against them as that would be ridiculous for me to do considering I don’t actually know what happened and was just going off of Skeletal’s tags. I wasn’t gonna start a problem over this because that would just be shitty of me and make things worse.

One of these comments was absolutely wrong to make and doesn’t reflect my true feelings, but it doesn’t mean I somehow am not a decent human being or can’t feel for others, nor does it somehow prove me as “fake”. People feel differently about the same thing at different points in time depending on mindset and context.

Now allow me to tear into all your other statements/points because as far as I’m concerned the rest of this is bull.

Firstly I know damn well that Large didn’t send you because I know that Large is not ok with harassment and shit like this, several times offering to make posts to tell people like you to leave me alone. Also you say “again” and I’m not sure what you’re referring to, I don’t believe I’ve ever directly accosted someone about an ask I received on their behalf. Nor do I believe that you actually know anything about how this situation played out between the parties involved considering most of it was in private conversations.

Now let’s talk about Skeletal because y’all are really fucking disconnected on this one. (I say y’all because I know it’s not just you under these false beliefs)

Let me start off my saying your claims are just flat-out wrong. But let me elaborate on why. Firstly let me say that you actually never did give me proof, but I did see you give “proof” to someone else and it’s all garbage.

“Oh this person’s friend who is in the same/a similar age group, identity, and arts class sounds similar to them and has similar hobbies? That must mean they’re the same person and this friend isn’t real!”

Do you have any fucking idea how ridiculous that is.

I honesty will not believe you until you have like. Actual visual evidence of him planning to do this or whatever.

And as someone who was keeping tabs on Skeletal a lot beforehand and was there to watch their entire reaction to the situation unfold, it would make no logical sense for him to have done this.

They took the rejection pretty well all things considered and were behaving very stably before that happened. Skeletal was actively moving on and growing and showed no true resentment nor hostility towards Tundra about this.

And when I caught wind of the situation, I actually was very afraid that he had been responsible for this. I left void a bunch of messages out of worry, and when he got on that day his initial response was intense confusion and having no idea what I was talking about, with me soon being able to explain and say who was responsible. I watched him confront them. Skeletal still cared about Tundra, even after everything and it showed.

Until Tundra somehow managed to do a bunch of mental gymnastics and convince herself of this and you along with her.

But I know my son, I’ve talked to him about this whole situation several times, I’ve shown him your asks and accusations, and I am convinced that he isn’t capable of this. It isn’t impossible, but it’s highly unlikely and if it is true I will have been lied to over and over again to my face, I will be fucking devastated. But I don’t think it is. Because I don’t believe he’s capable of that.

I don’t need to be protected from Skeletal.

Now let me just go over the rest of this because wow-

It’s really amusing that you call me and Skeletal “attention whores” when we have been ACTIVELY AVOIDING/IGNORING YOU and have been trying to resolve our own damn personal issues calmly, responsibly, and privately. We want to move on, we want to put this to rest.

You are the one constantly begging for us to respond to you and pay attention to you and you’re the one being loud and immature. You are the only person keeping this shit going.

And you going from saying “I understand feelings can be hard” to calling me a “fake ass bitch” not three paragraphs later is downright comical honestly like what the hell dude-

I am not stirring up issues, I am not making this place more unsafe, I am just trying to live my life and you are the one showing up to hurl insults at me and antagonize me. You have not been polite, all of your asks have come off as underhanded and petty.

The people you’re trying to defend would NEVER approve of your behavior right now and they do not agree with you. Please relax.

This is also like. None of your business. That’s why I’ve avoided addressing you directly for so long, it’s because this isn’t you nor anyone else’s business. You are not involved, this is not your place.

You’ve been obsessing about me for what might be over a month now. That is not healthy. And I know that can’t feel good either. I know that rage, that anguish, that sickly cycle of thinking about that person several times a day. I know the feeling where the fact that you can’t speak to them directly causes you to start to construct a monster in your mind, how you start to subconsciously dehumanize them. I know that hatred, that grudge. And I hope you manage to let it go, let your malice melt away and reason take hold once more. Because holding grudges like that is painful and it’s a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

Despite all of this I still do wish you the best. “The best” being that you get out of this unhealthy mindset and stop being so cruel. I know that you probably have a good heart, you just want to do what’s right and you view me as a monster. Therefore you want me slain. And that’s a feeling that I understand but is not one that will ever get you what you want in life.

I want to be clear that I don’t look down on you, I’m just upset at you and honestly scared of you. All of this has left me bewildered and upset. But I know that if I can grow and change, so can you. Even if I know that you’ll probably think I’m being disingenuous when I say that.

I wish you well, but as long as you are so spiteful and cruel I do not want you anywhere near me.

[derangedhyena-zoids]

It's time for another edition of Shit Nobody Cares About But I've Thought About Anyways! Sex & society on Zi edition.

I wrote this out the other day to explain to a friend, but I've rewritten it slightly to post here also. For starters, some important ground rules to consider: 1) The major factors that specifically influence how sex and sexuality is viewed in IRL do not exist on Zi. Cultures, religions, mindsets, physiology - ALL different. Ergo: it makes very little sense for any of our societal standards or expectations to apply. 2) In this hc, the entire population has, what's effectively, built-in reverse birth control. The human colonists* were genetically altered so they could only reproduce if supplied with [certain substance.] Do I know what it is? No. I've not thought in detail about it because that's not the point (though I have thought about the physiological side of things re: what's actually happening biologically. more Nobody Cares material, and also not the point) The point is that this makes having offspring a literal choice, and it's vanishingly rare for people to accidentally get pregnant.** (this doesn't stop people from thinking they want kids and then promptly realizing they Actually Don't, but...) 3) STIs are basically non-existent on Zi. The colonists were thoroughly screened for disease. Very few, if any, "Earth" diseases exist on Zi. New issues, pathogens, and problems arose, certainly - but they're the product of evolution in the new environment, not brought from elsewhere. What this rounds up to is that sex on Zi lacks almost all of the consequences it has IRL. Because NC0 society seems pretty hedonistic, this points to a very sexually liberal society at large, which is very accepting of behavior that'd be frowned upon IRL.

That doesn't mean there aren't prejudices and people who look down on this behavior on Zi, however, Things that are true in NC0 per the anime: -there is a noteworthy shortage of children. (it's extra-noteworthy in a kids' toy commercial show, IMO) -there is an outrageous class divide going on. Now - think about how Harry's family acted towards him. Think about lineages being so important to the Empire/presumably other power structures in the past. In this hc it's basically seen, by the higher class, as high-class to be very sexually selective and straight, so you can have A Family and raise them right, etc etc. basically only the fucking plebs run around fucking everyone like animals, how Awful This thought process obviously wasn't/isn't shared by the majority of society, which is why we don't see many "typical" family units. I personally think Steve - before his wife died - was the equivalent of upper middle class looking for upward mobility. He wholeheartedly bought into the idea that having and raising a nuclear family would be viewed positively by those he thought he wanted to join the ranks of. He wanted what was best for his family. But that all changed when his wife died. In my hc, Steve's wife died while giving birth to Leena. He didn't deal well with the, well... guilt? Of knowing that in trying to create a family he killed his wife. That's how you get... *motions at Steve Toros* consider also how this has affected Leon. yeeeaahhh All this is basically to say that Leon has serious hangups that are Steve's fault.

*the human colonists that resulted in the current crop of humanity on Zi are actually the second set of human colonists to make it to Zi, technically. **over time, genetic mutations started to ever-so-slightly undermine the inbuilt population control mechanic. The idea wasn't really to lose access to the tech that'd allow genetic editing - but people are people, and they did. So, occasionally, things don't work right and people get pregnant. And also occasionally people suffer serious reproductive issues.

#headcanon blather #headcanon