#consent is not retroactive

[mafaldaknows]

Hello Anon:

Thanks for the hot tip but I have seen it already and have drawn my own conclusions regarding the matter, especially after considering the sources.

Always, always, always:

CONSIDER THE SOURCE.

I’ve chosen not to post your ask because the less attention placed on this person, the better.

If you recall, it was also around Christmas three years ago that this person’s “mentor” revealed herself.

I often wonder what would’ve happened had we simply amplified the truth this “mentor” told initially and ignored her outlandish claims, which she began spewing with a vengeance when she realized that she could attract far more notoriety and attention by changing her story to one much more salacious and destructive. Because haters love to hate.

As I’ve said before, the right thing to do when an actual crime has been committed is to file charges with the police and provide solid evidence of the crime, to support the claim with the proper authorities should one also seek to file a claim in court. Justice absolutely should be served but only if it’s warranted. And much more evidence than this is required.

Her protégé’s claim is vague, without specific evidence to support it, presented only to stir the pot of defamation once again.

The protégé is wearing a bathing suit and appears to be posing for the photo in question. She looks to have undergone a recent “cupping” treatment. It’s difficult to determine exactly what her grievance against the accused might be.

Regret is not a crime. Consent, or the denial thereof, is not retroactive. Objective facts are immutable. Vague implications are not facts.

And proclaiming a known delusional stalker and compulsive liar as her mentor serves only to discredit her claims.

Likewise, this “news” breaking from a source known to have a close relationship with the accused’s disgruntled aunt publicly feuding with the accused over the family fortune serves only to raise questions about the source’s credibility and motives.

Both the accuser and the person breaking the news are relying on people’s wild imaginations and need for titillation to fill in the blanks of the story the accuser is not actually telling.

Let’s not fall for that again.

Thanks for your comment.

#hello anon #really now #consider the source #ulterior motives #biased #baseless #non specific #regret is not a crime #consent is not retroactive #prove it #ignore ignore ignore #don’t feed the monster #fame hungry glory hound

[quaranmine]

i think firewatch au is therapizing me

#no but there's at least two separate times that i have written something into the fic #and then retroactively realized months later it was About Something else #that's something funny i think #that i can write themes and stuff without???? knowing what i'm Actually??? writing about???? #@ my brain i dont really like when you do things without my knowledge or consent u know #feel like we should've been briefed before that got put into the fic /j

[rivercule]

"Watch out for creeps on the internet" Is an important life lesson. But i get what you mean.

There’s always a chance they’re not going to do that and I’m just paranoid. But it really would suck if what was initially presented as a teen wlw love story turned into a psa on internet safety.

Maybe it’s somewhat valid because like. I feel like lgbt+ teens are more likely to feel alienated from their irl peers and seek connections online and are probably at a higher risk of being preyed on by internet creeps because of that, but this doesn’t seem like the way to do this imo (assuming it’s what they’re doing here)

#ask to tag #it especially feels bad because viv kissing riri. which was intended to lead into a canon romance between them has been retroactively #painted as ‘her learning consent’ which makes her seem like a creep and feels bad in light of how she’s coded as autistic. #acting like the autistic character needs to be taught basic respect is bad. forcing a black character to be her teacher is also bad #especially since the lesson required riri to be made uncomfortable. I’m pro vivheart but what happened there was. bad #love unlimited #viv vision

[leidensygdom]

Please be aware that the "opt-out" choice is just a way to try to appease people. But Tumblr has not been transparent about when has data been sold and shared with AI companies, and there are sources that confirm that data has already been shared before the toggle was even provided to users.

Also, it seems to include data they should not have been able to give under any circumstance, including that of deactivated blogs, private messages and conversations, stuff from private blogs, and so on.

Do not believe that "AI companies will honor the "opt-out request retroactively". Once they've got their hands on your data (and they have), they won't be "honoring" an opt-out option retroactively. There is no way to confirm or deny what data do they have: The fact they are completely opaque on what do they currently "own" and have, means that they can do whatever they want with it. How can you prove they have your data if they don't give everyone free access to see what they've stolen already?

So, yeah, opt out of data sharing, but be aware that this isn't stopping anyone from taking your data. They already have been taking it, before you were given that option. Go and go to Tumblr's Suppport and leave your Feedback on this (politely, but firmly- not everyone in the company is responsible for this.)

Finally: Opt out is not good under any circumstance. Deactivated people can't opt out. People who have lost their passwords can't opt out. People who can't access internet or computers can't opt out. People who had their content reposted can't opt out. Dead people can't opt out. When DeviantArt released their AI image generator, saying that it wasn't trained on people who didn't consent to it, it was proven it could easily replicate the styles of people who had passed away, as seen here. So, yeah. AI companies cannot be trusted to have any sort of respect for people's data and content, because this entire thing is just a data laundering scheme.

Please do reblog for awareness.

#ai #anti ai

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for the way I handle consent?

slight nsfw warning, obviously

For background context: When I (17m) was around fourteen I briefly dated a girl even younger (by about a year) than me, which already wasn’t Great. I, extremely hormonal, got extremely noticeably horny during any physical contact at all, and thus the topic of a physical relationship got breached and we had one. At the time I handled consent as I was taught: Ask for permission at the start of any Activity and with every new thing you’re trying to do. We never went past petting either, if that matters.

Shortly after we broke up about a year into our relationship, the girl in question outed herself as fully asexual to sex repulsed. Which retroactively meant that even if I did get verbal consent for everything we did during our relationship, I obviously missed Something Vital and the guilt has been fucking with me for a while. My ex is still close friends with me so she doesn’t seem completely traumatized? If that counts for something?

Anyway, I have been in a new relationship for nine months by now. We’re both teenage boys and exactly as physical as one might expect, with the added difference that I ask for permission A Lot. Like. Several times in fifteen minutes. Also just questions about comfort general stuff if he’s okay if nothing hurts if he wants to change position anything really. Doesn’t help that we’re both kinda kinky.

Ive noticed that it’s kind of annoying how much I clarify and also that he‘s slightly uncomfortable with the implication that there’s something wrong with how much I want him. Also it does noticeably break mood to ask this often. I just don’t know if this is very weird or just a quirk one can deal with.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #warning y'all ahead of time to be normal about this one

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/749328257018626048/dubcon-kind-of-annoys-me-as-a-term-not-because

I mean, the situations where consent is considered dubious in fiction can absolutely exist in real life, and often times, whether assault has been committed comes down to the reactions after the fact and whether someone believes they truly gave consent--and what is that if not dubious, from an outside perspective?

I enjoy drunk sex. I don't care to breathalyze everyone I flirt with when I'm drunk to make sure they're exactly as drunk as I am so that if we hook up we're 'even'. I know that when I get drunk I get physically affectionate and horny and much more open to making poor sexual decisions than I am while sober. I do not ever consider consensual sex I have while intoxicated to be rape or assault. There are a lot of people who would insist that every drunken sexual encounter I've had has been rape, particularly the ones where I came onto someone who was considerably more sober than I was and they slept with me anyway.

I'd say, believe people who say whether or not they consented--however, the ONLY time you have an insider's POV is for you and your own consent, meaning that from the outside looking in, there are lots of situations in real life that might seem very dubious and, ultimately, up to the people involved and them alone to determine whether consent was given and accepted, and whether or not an assault took place.

Also, I think 'enthusiasm' is deeply overrated as a measure of consent. Enthusiastic consent is great and sexy but sometimes you have sex because you know your partner wants to and you want to make them happy even if you aren't really in the mood, and sometimes you're paid for sex and can't afford to be particularly choosy about your clients--consent still matters in those situations! Consent is not retroactively revoked if you weren't enthusiastic enough about the sex being had.

--

I find the notion of enthusiastic consent as seen in fandom annoying because it involves performing emotions to someone else's standard, not displaying your own emotions authentically—at least if you don't happen to be a chirpy and vocal type.

[theerurishipper]

You know, for a character whose arc is supposed to be about finding new relationships which give him unconditional love, the writers really went out of their way to isolate Adrien and make sure he has no one huh.

Marinette, Felix, Kagami, Nathalie, Plagg, Amelie, Tikki and Alya are siding with his abuser and lying to him.

Luka was all on board with Marinette's awful plan to trick Chat Noir into an identity reveal without his knowledge or consent. He also hid the fact that he knew his identity from him.

Nino and Adrien's relationship became frayed during Rocketear and canon has slowly made Nino's defining relationship be with Alya and not Adrien, so Nino isn't really that close with Adrien anymore.

Adrien's classmates don't really know him as seen in Felix, and only seem to care about him in terms of trying to get him and Marinette together.

Emilie (if she's alive) is an abusive parent who cheerfully mind controlled her son along with her husband and never told him he was a Sentimonster.

They seriously went out of their way to strip Adrien of his entire support network huh. It's even worse because it retroactively makes it seem like Gabriel was right.

Everyone treats Adrien just like he does so he wasn't actually wrong in how he treated his son. Adrien can't really hope for better because there is no better for him. Gabriel wasn't wrong in how he treats Adrien because Adrien doesn't deserve better than that, seeing as how everyone treats him the same way.

Everyone treats Adrien like he is only worth something if he can conform to the needs and expectations of people, and he doesn't really get unconditional love from anyone. So Gabriel was right to shut him away from these people.

Like... why? Is writing about Adrien's relationships that hard?

#MLB #Meta #My meta #ML Salt #ML Writing Salt #ML Writers Salt

[dreamonminecraft]

ive decided idc . like i do feel bad that she regrets it and now feels uncomfortable and yeah dteam should probably not drink in public with strangers tbh but i feel like he was not in the wrong there like even she herself said she confused fear for excitement or whatevee like if she and everyone else around her thought she was happy and enjoying everything then george did not do anything wrong. that doesn't make her feelings wrong like she can now regret it and realize what she was feeling was different from what she thought but you cant retroactively make someone else an assaulter in a situation where you were engaging with them in a positive way

I know George said he wasn't looking for sympathy and everyone is joking about him and dream being too autistic to write an empathetic statement, but his own relation to regret about a sexual encounter is important. Obviously you can regret things. You don't get to make other people the bad guy for your own bad choices though. You don't get to fault people for the assumptions that you made. If you were not pressured into anything in the moment, you were not a victim of a person, you were a victim of circumstances. Your friends suck, George doesn't. He understands where you're coming from, and blindly accusing him of sexual assault when you revoked consent months after your last irl interaction doesn't make any sense. You can feel regret and remorse for your own interactions but you can't retroactively decide someone is an abuser.

#asks

[covertblizzard]

i never expected to develop a pet peeve of seeing batman hating the teen titans from the beginning (and only begrudgingly accepting it later if at all) in the modern comics but it is my new beloathed at the moment...

where is this even from and who started it because batman is soooo supportive of the teen titans in the original (in fact needing parental/guardian consent is a very early plot point) and has teams up with them the most asking them for help and it's actually only aquaman who shows disapproval towards the end and i hate how they're retroactively souring the bruce-dick relationship like this is NOT what it was :(((

#batman #bruce wayne #teen titans #dick grayson #dc thoughts #mypost #this is illegal actually i hate this retcon so much #i need it gone yesterday

[republicansaredomesticterrorists]

Tuberville is a Klansman working for Russia and China and simultaneously prepping for Trump’s Project 2025. Even the other Republikkkan senators are against his bullshit that has put our security in danger by leaving top military positions infilled for months.

#republican assholes #traitor trump #to #tommy tuberville #republican hypocrisy #republican asshole

[anunholyforehand]

The desire to fuck someone so well that they give me retroactive consent for what I did even though they never wanted it at first is very strong rn

[ardentpoop]

genuinely interested bc i love critical thoughts on Dean and John, why do u think John is better than him?

I agree Sam is the best, but as of right now, I believe John is worse, gimme ur thoughts <3

I think most people have such a narrow idea of abuse that john registers as More Abusive than dean bc of the show’s (offscreen, retroactive) imagery of him devolving into drunken rages etc. which btw - as if dean doesn’t have plenty of onscreen drunken rages. 😅 overall tho most of the harm john inflicted on his sons was done via his unpredictable absences - and in sam’s case by cutting him off when he refused to live the life john thought he should live. (“you walk out that door don’t you ever come back” from john when sam leaves to go to stanford and from dean when they clash after sam’s forced detox.)

could very well be that if john had lived past s1 he would’ve made things worse - but he also could’ve made things a lot better tbh, by rerouting some of the tension btwn his sons. bc dean goes off the fucking rails after john dies. the reason I say s1 dean is the only version of dean I wholeheartedly sympathize with is that the red flags pop up in s2 immediately after john’s death and he only gets worse and worse from there.

like who do you think did more damage to sam - john with whom sam would argue constantly bc he knew he was wrong abt what was “best” for sam, who died before the worst events of sam’s life could transpire? or dean who develops an insanely long track record of lying to sam “for his own good” and making decisions for him without his consent (which sometimes involves literally punching his lights out to incapacitate him) and questioning his judgement at every major junction and calling him a “freak” and meaning it and showing him that everyone else in their life agrees that dean’s right to do all of it. john was sam’s unreliable father but dean is sam’s literal life partner and he makes their already nightmarish existence worse by refusing to extend a modicum of the trust compassion and understanding to sam that sam unconditionally extends to dean.

I’m sorry but dean’s literally a monster lol no other character in this show makes my stomach turn more frequently than he does. and like I’ve said - there is immense narrative value to that and this show and these characters wouldn’t be the same if the dynamic wasn’t this badly unbalanced… but ppl are so allergic to confronting it. it doesn’t mean you can’t like dean as a character! believe it or not there are things abt him that I find very compelling. it’s just that I want to scream until I’m blue in the face when the fandom or the narrative trots out its romanticized version of him.

#ty for asking I love blabbing abt this show #just like 2014 😌 #mothgardens #asks

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

It's wild how there were so many people that were willing to excuse Felix attempting to kiss Marinette without her consent while lambasting Adrien for his flirtations, even downplaying what Felix did by saying that he was only trying to ruin Adrien's reputation when he tried to kiss her, as if that somehow makes it better.

Don't forget how the show is trying to retroactively make Felix out to be this socially awkward dork while forgetting how social skills are a huge part of being able to manipulate others.

#immaturity of thomas astruc #iota #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug salt #felix graham de vanily #argos

[poppyandzena]

Response to this anon: ##########

Poppy in her latest stream (yet another contradiction):

“You all don’t know the context. We were whispering sweet nothings and SO in love and that’s why I felt safe to initiate sex!”

“Noeh didn’t even show up to that hotel room! She just wanted to leave. She wasn’t present at all so how could things be fixed???”

########## Plus how much work has Poppy done to claim that SHE couldn't have assaulted Noeh, because Poppy ONLY has sex with people who really want it. I'll let Poppy's tweets from May 9 do the talking: "Succubi want consent. They crave it. Why? Because they are fucking demons. They want you to want it. Predation is gross & is legitimately ableist towards people who are hypersexual (who often are CSA survivors)." Or maybe this tweet from Poppy on May 5 on one of her alts: "I wonder if the moth flew into stained glass again. She should really stop doing that. Maybe if she didn't misgender people, didn't abuse them, or did check in on consent occasionally. She wouldn't keep running into glass." Show me how in either version of Poppy's story she "checked in on consent"? Show me where she was making sure that Noeh "wanted it" like she claims would be a basic requirement? Also... if Poppy is using the "we were laying in bed whispering sweet nothings to each other" as defense that Noeh wanted it and was consenting... WOULDN'T THAT PROVE THAT POPPY WANTED IT AND WAS CONSENTING, TOO? Poppy says she COULDN'T have consented, even though she appeared to, because of her mental state. She is claiming she can retroactively say that she wasn't capable of providing legitimate consent, even if it looked like she was, at the time. But that CAN'T be true of Noeh, too? Make it make sense, Poppy.

"I couldn't rape her because my gender is Succubian and I totally respect the consent of others even though I have an entire Google document full of instances where I make strangers uncomfortable for my own sexual pleasure."

If she's upset when a Twitter uses rejects her sexual advances, then rejecting Poppy as her FP is a fucking nightmare. FP's DON'T have all the power when you're abusing them and putting your own limerance above their comfort and safety.

You're a horrible person, Poppy! You destroy relationships. You traumatized your own child. You're unethical in every capacity! I don't even think you're afraid of legal consequences because you think you can get away with ruining people's lives.

#poppy #poppy and zena #zena and poppy #poppy diabolique #ladydiabolique #poppy & zena #zenaandpoppyonyoutube #nf

[paellegere]

TW CSA

So I know it’s not implied anywhere but I like to project. Sams demon blood arch and being “dirty” since he was kid resonates a lot with me as someone who has csa. Like you are no longer holy no fault your own and your biggest fear is becoming like them.

the narrative of the show and the general ambiguity of the characters and their backgrounds often lend themselves to alternative readings just like this. the symbolic usage of blood especially allows for interpretations of queerness, rape and sexual assault, incest—things that are generally seen as impurities that make a person dirty and tainted. the thing is inside you and it's part of you and you can never get rid of it. it's not you, not inherently, but it's with you, an inextricable brand on your soul that you'll carry with you forever. blood is equally immutable, inside of you, tied to your essence yet just a part of your complete self. blood represents bonds and relationships. blood kin, blood oaths and sibling pacts, the heart is the source of love and emotion. if the blood is corrupted then so is the self. you've become impure and dirty and you can never remove the dirty thing because it's infected every part of you. it isn't you, but it's in every part of you and when you bleed everyone will know.

it's a strikingly poignant symbol that allows for such varied yet overlapping interpretations, especially in all the ways it's utilized in the show. sam is made impure as a baby; he's not born with it, it's not him, but it's forced onto him and he has to carry that with him forever even though he never consented to that burden. the desire to repent and be good and scrub himself clean is just as resonant: the vain hope to undo what's been done to you and return to a state of innocence even though you can't change the past and you can't retroactively stop what happened. in the end all you can do is become strong enough to carry that weight.

combined with the recurring theme of cyclical trauma and abuse it creates a compelling narrative that strongly resembles CSA. sam may not have been literally sexually assaulted as a child, but the themes and liminality of the narrative generates an anxiety that lets those connections be drawn. the emotions are the same. and that's what stories do: they let us see ourselves through abstracted and symbolic narratives. they let us connect with others through our shared emotional experiences. it's what it's all about.

#ask #supernatural #anon you sent this literally as i was boarding my plane to Arizona #sorry it took me so long to respond #thank you for the ask i've been thinking about it all the while i was on vacation #and sorry for any typos or weird phrasing i truly hate typing on my phone but i won't get my laptop back for like 2 weeks 💔

[siryouarebeingmocked]

"I am totally not a looking for the slightest excuse to ignore anything that doesn't fit my narrow, sexist, view of reality." -kiefbowl

Incidentally, this is the same genius who said a woman can retroactively revoke consent to sex, which just proves it wasn't real sex in the first place.

#kiefbowl #liar #radfems #lolgic