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restlessmaknae · 11 months

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never forever [jinyoung]

Just as much as you would have liked to delude yourself into thinking that you could have anything together with prince Jinyoung, it would be simply impossible as long as you were a servant and he was a prince. Which meant that you could never do so.

➳ Characters: prince!Jinyoung x female court lady!reader/you

➳ Genre: romance, angst, fantasy, magical realism, kingdom au

➳ Words: 11.8k

➳ Warning: mentions of minor character deaths, poison, political tension, attacks

➳ A/N: This story had the most votes in my poll, so I hope it lives up to your expectations. 🥰 It can be read on its own or with Seunghun's story that took place before this one. ❤️

➳ CIX taglist: @wccycc, @dat-town

When you had been younger, your favourite word had been ‘forever’. Warmth had always invaded your heart when you thought of this particular word, and how your parents had promised each other that they would love each other forever. Your mother had told you multiple times too that her love was not only infinite towards your father but you as well. Forever was like a precious friend to you, a little gem that you would try to keep safe as much as you could, holding it close to your heart, holding it dear.

Then, forever had turned to never when your mother had died. When you had realised that you would never see her again, your world had shattered, the little gem slipping through your fingers, falling to the ground and breaking into tiny pieces. Even though your father had reassured you that your mother would love you even from the spirit realm, you hadn’t been convinced because forever had seemed so far away. You had decided that it was stupid to have a word that didn’t make sense. After all, forever didn’t exist.

You had been 6 at that time. Your mother had been a lady-in-waiting to the Queen at the royal palace, so you hadn’t seen her during the week, only on the weekend. You had spent your days at home reading books and practising writing while your father had been teaching his pupils in a different room. He had been a great scholar, teaching those at your home who could not afford the institutions he had taught at most of the time. For some time, you had resented the royal family for keeping your mother away from you when you had known all too well that your mother had been deeply grateful for the royal court for providing her with a high status job and a very decent pay that allowed her to shower you in gifts.

On the other hand, when your mother had died, and the court had organised your mother a funeral, more glorious (thus more heart-wrenching) than you could have ever imagined, your feelings had completely changed. When the Queen had come up to you afterwards and lowered herself down to be at eye-level with you (disregarding the gasps from the court ladies around her, warning her of her dress potentially becoming smudged because of the muddy ground), your tears had fallen even more fervently. You had wanted nothing more than to hide during the ceremony, so to be seen and acknowledged by the Queen herself brought on a handful of different emotions.

“When I was around your age, I also lost my mother. I thought of it as a great shame on top of being a great loss. A young girl growing up without a mother? I thought people wouldn’t take me seriously, they wouldn’t look at me for who I am, they would always see the girl without a mother,” she had shared, and you had watched her with tears streaming down your face, your mouth slightly agape. You hadn’t heard of the Queen losing her mother at such a young age, but you had been young, and your parents hadn’t told you stories about the royal family back then.

“And they did?” You had asked between little sobs that reverberated through your body.

The Queen had given you a gentle smile, and you had wondered if all mothers smiled the same - so lovingly, so forgivingly, so reassuringly. Her smile hadn’t been exactly like your mother’s, but you could feel the genuine affectionate behind the delicate curve of her lips, something that mirrored your own mother’s. The kind of smile that parents gave you when you admitted that you did something wrong, but all that mattered to them was that you were safe and sound.

“No,” she had shaken her head. “I proved them wrong, and I showed them what I can do regardless of what happened. You can do, too,” she had added so confidently that your little heart had welcomed the undeniable hope that her words had brought along, newfound warmth spreading through your veins until you had realised that…

“But… I am not a royal.”

“Where you come from doesn’t matter, whether you have a positive impact on just one person or a whole nation doesn’t matter either. You are valuable as you are,” the Queen had pointed out, her words like a wise scholar’s. You had just blinked at her, wide-eyed and amazed, and you hadn’t even realised that you had stopped crying in the meantime, you had been so focused on what she had been saying.

You had been so awestruck that you couldn’t have spoken up, and you didn’t remember whether it had been what had prompted the Queen to bid her goodbye or she had been told by her court ladies to presume her duties for the day, but you remembered one thing very clearly.

That day, you had decided that you would have a positive impact on the Queen’s life, and you would try to be there for her just as much as she had been there for you at that time. So when a year later, the royal court had announced that they would hold their annual recruitment day for new servants, you had applied.

You had read every book on royal etiquette, you had learned embroidery, sewing and all sorts of activities that might be tested during the recruitment process in that year, determined on making the cut. You hadn’t even been the youngest candidate, there had been girls as young as 5 trying to secure a future for themselves (or more like pressured by their families), but you had been dedicated for a different reason: to serve the royal family and to repay them for all they had done for your family including sending your mother on her last journey so graciously.

Even though you hadn’t succeeded on the first try, you had done so a year later. Since then, you had been trying to live up to your mother’s memory, hoping that she would be proud of how you were serving the royal family, living to make their lives as comfortable as possible, living for them.

Little did you know, one day, that would be the exact same reason you would feel so torn to fall in love.

The first few years at the palace, you spent learning. Then, you applied what you learned. Then, you practised everything over and over again until you wouldn’t make a mistake. Finally, as years went by, your service to the palace became a valuable treasure, an important part of the operations. Your loyalty and diligence meant that you were keen on doing the best you could, and your perseverance didn’t waver even in hard times.

However, no matter the many lessons and learnings during those years, the greatest teacher and the dearest compliment you could get for your hard work was when you could upgrade your rank. After 15 years of service and being over the age of 20 meant that you could rightfully start serving one of the royal family members directly or one of those who stayed at the palace. For instance, a few girls who were at the congratulatory ceremony beside you would assist the royalty that were visiting the palace from time to time, and two of those now stayed beside a princess who came from a kingdom further up north, who was currently spending her time in exile at your court. Due to the trade agreements and favourable business partnerships, it wasn’t uncommon to provide a shelter or a hiding place for those who came from different kingdoms, but couldn’t stay in their own residence for whatever reason.

You, on the other hand, were assigned to the Queen herself, and even though you would never brag about your conversation with the Queen at your mother’s funeral ceremony, you knew that the smile she gave you when she handed you your new gown and your matching hairpin - engraved with a lotus symbol for prosperity and a dragon mimicking the ones that guarded the palace for safety - was telling tales about her positive feelings towards your future services.

After an elderly lady-in-waiting had passed away, two female servants took her place including you. You knew that you were still fairly young compared to the other court ladies, but you had been serving at the palace for so long already, and you excelled at every task they had given you. You knew though that the major reason that you had been assigned to the Queen was because you could read and write well, something that would be needed to discreetly handle the letters the Queen received and sent.

However, following the Queen almost everywhere meant that you had more interactions with the other royal family members and those who were close to them - soldiers in higher up ranks, master magicians and magical creature tamers. In passing by, you caught glimpses of the royal family members while serving them in the past years, but that couldn’t be compared to the experience of being in the same room with them, to see them from up-close.

When you first accompanied the Queen to the practise field where prince Jinyoung was receiving his training, you realised that he still lived in your memories as someone around your height with a cheeky smile when he was running around the court, making his nannies run after him, and you were taken aback by his height and his built now. He was tall and slender, but when he reached his sword out to attack, his muscles clearly showed through the thin fabric he wore. Drops of sweat rolled down his cheeks while he was concentrating, and his features were solemn and hard.

His practice partner was Seunghun - a soldier you saw around the court frequently. Rumour had it that he was courting one of the medics, but you didn’t know whether to believe that because all sorts of gossip were flying around. Besides, others’ love life was none of your business, but since you and Seunghun had joined the court around the same time, you knew him and his way of talking to the ladies - all smooth and flirtatious. He had that cheekiness to him even when he was younger, no wonder he was on good terms with the prince.

The Queen halted by the side of the field, and you did, too, a few steps away from her. The prince and the soldier were so engrossed in their practice battle that they didn’t even take notice of her presence until they finished with their round of sword fight, Seunghun coming out as the winner.

“What is the purpose of today’s practice?” The Queen raised her voice, confident and unwavering, while looking at the boys. Seunghun didn’t fail to bow upon seeing her, but his grin was still a bit cocky when he helped the prince to his feet.

“Just some… friendly duel, Your Majesty,” he answered joyfully, and he patted the prince’s shoulder when prince Jinyoung straightened up. “Even if he were to be seriously hurt, one of our great medics would tend to his wounds,” he added in a friendly manner, but you could hear the Queen’s voice hardening when she spoke up.

“Not so much if he can help it himself.”

“Of course,” the soldier’s smile faded immediately, and he bowed his head apologetically. Prince Jinyoung tensed a bit beside his friend, but his eyes were trained on his mother, not on his friend. You didn’t spend enough time around him to tell what his eyes could show, but you had a feeling that he wasn’t that delighted about the Queen’s words. If your assumption about his power was right, you knew why.

“Well then, keep going,” the Queen made a waving gesture with her hands, indicating that they could move on, and turned on her heels to head back to the palace. You bowed to the prince and soldier alongside the other servants, signalling your departure.

Afterwards, you waited for the older ladies to follow suit as they were the first to follow behind, you were supposed to be the last as you were the youngest one. Even though your rank was the same as theirs, age order was still important.

You took a few steps forward when you felt your hair loosen, and you instinctively reached for the back of your neck, gasping when you couldn’t feel your hairpin. You were about to turn around just at the same time as a figure slid into your vision, and put your lotus and dragon carved hairpin into your hands. It was for the briefest of a second, so was his rough touch, but you felt like you could feel the ghost of it on your skin even after he yanked it away.

Your eyes frantically went to the figure’s face, and you were about to open your mouth to thank him, but he put his index finger on his lips. Why couldn’t you thank prince Jinyoung for helping you out? Why wouldn’t you?

You were so baffled by his indication that words died on the tip of your tongue, and he was out of your reach as quickly as he ran up to you, so there was no way you could go after him. You were already behind the other servants, so you needed to catch up to them.

However, as you were hurrying after them, you looked back at the field, the prince and the soldier already in another round of a fight, no remains of the recent incident, only the ghost of his touch on your hand and the mystery in his pitch-black eyes when he handed you your hairpin.

In a magical kingdom like yours, you were grateful that you could be of help to the royal family even though you didn’t possess magic. The magic in your kingdom lied in healing, hence there were two types of medicine in your kingdom: magical and non-magical medicine. Magical medicine was mostly used on the members of the royal court including the royal family and the royal army, plus magical creatures that lived in the woods or in the mountains - such as fairies, unicorns and such - or serving the kingdom - such as dragons guarding the palace.

Non-magical medicine, on the other hand, was used on humans to treat their wounds, and that was what most medics practised outside of the palace, though it was applicable at the court as well in non-emergency cases and subtle illnesses. Magical medicine was also extremely rare since only magical practitioners could deal with it because they were the ones born with the ability to tame magic, but even they needed thorough practice and extensive training to be able to make use of their abilities to their full potential. Magical medics were also almost exclusively serving at the palace. The royal family was also said to be possessing magic in their veins, though they didn’t have to use it on themselves because the most powerful magicians were already in their court, serving them.

Neither of your ancestors had magic, so it was unlikely that you would, but having a scholar as a father and a royal servant as a mother meant that you knew that you could use other skills and strengths to your advantage, so you never felt any less than those who were born with magic. You were merely in awe at what some people could do, and when you could see for yourself how magical medics worked at the palace, you were mesmerised. Even if the Queen had a headache, not a physical injury, all the medic needed to do was place their hands above her core - the centre of her energy - and she was healed, though advised rest for the night.

For that reason, you could leave the Queen’s chamber earlier than usual after helping her to bed, and while the rest of the ladies were heading to their own rooms in the courtyard, you were staying back to stroll around the garden that separated the palace from the court. A part of the garden was reserved for the royal family only, but the other was accessible by everyone, and you liked walking around the pond dotted with a palette of colours, a different type of fish hiding behind each distinctly shaped creature, water lilies breaking the smooth surface of the water and lanterns lighting up the sideways like little stars on the sky.

When you walked these parts of the palace, you wondered if your mother had been the same. She hadn’t really talked about her time at the palace - what she was doing when she wasn’t on duty, how the place looked like and what was her favourite part of the court -, if she did, she only talked about the Queen and her admiration towards the woman. Ever since being part of the court though, you couldn’t help but imagine your mother walking down the same path, looking at the little bridge connecting the path to a pavilion as you did now, walking the same corridors and feeling the same sense of belonging as you did now.

“I hope you’re proud of me, mother,” you mumbled to the dark sky above you that seemed like a blanket covering the palace grounds, your words carried away by the gentle breeze of this fine spring night. You hoped that she was at peace in the spirit realm, and looked over you fondly. No matter how many years had passed by, there was still a part of you that missed her.

With a resigned sigh, you looked down at the pond in front of you, and decided to leave. However, as you were about to walk back, you crossed paths with prince Jinyoung who seemed to be walking around as well. You were surprised that he was alone, no soldiers guarding him, but maybe he had time to himself at these late hours just like the Queen did after you left her in her chambers.

“Your Highness,” you greeted him immediately, bowing out of respect. When you straightened your back, you looked up at the prince, and he was already looking at you, his deep, dark eyes boring into yours. It seemed that he was about to say something, but he changed his mind, and pressed his lips into a thin line. You blinked up at him, uncertain what to do or what to say for it was scarce that you were alone with a royal family member. In fact, it was the first time that it was just the two of you, and the thought sent a shiver down your spine.

“Are you done for the day?” Prince Jinyoung broke the silence after clearing his throat, and your heart was both heavy and light upon his question. You didn’t know what you had expected him to say or if you had expected anything, but his inquiry still caught you off-guard. In a positive way.

“Yes, Your Highness.”

He bobbed his head, acknowledging your words, and you had a feeling that he wanted to say something but couldn’t this time either. Or maybe it was because he seemed so out of reach usually; the mighty, ethereal prince Jinyoung who was said to be cool-headed and reasonable, a great fighter and a hard-worker in whatever he did. He was said to excel in everything, making him the perfect heir to the throne. From a young age, he had the watching eyes of the people, the weight of the kingdom’s future on his shoulders, and a responsibility that could crush anyone, let alone a boy so young. In passing, he had always seemed so composed, knowing exactly what to do and what to say, and you had heard only good things about him.

On the other hand, he seemed so humane now. A human being searching for the right words to say with secrets in his heart and mysteries in his eyes. Libraries of tales were about him, but when he was standing there in front of you in his white royal attire, he seemed nothing more than a boy around your age. The thought soothed your nerves and scared you at the same time.

You shouldn’t look at him that way, you work for the royal family after all.

“Well then…” You broke the silence that fell upon the two of you, bringing him out of whatever stupor he was under. “Good night, Your Highness!” You bowed yet again, ready to continue your walk to the court.

Nonetheless, before you were out of hearing range, the prince spoke up, though his eyes weren’t trained on you, but on the pond in front of him.

“Your mother would be proud.”

The words made you halt and turn to the prince who was examining the water as if he was pondering how to describe the sight properly. The lanterns lit up the way of the footpath, and amongst them, one was shining directly onto him, and now with you in the shadows of a nearby tree, and him in the light, you wondered how the two of you from two different worlds could be having this conversation now.

“How… How do you know about my mother?” You blinked in confusion. You didn’t believe that he could have heard you before, but maybe he could.

“You are not the only one who likes to go to the pond late at night,” he replied without any shame or any cheekiness in his voice as he turned towards you, and even though you were further away than before, you could see the end of his lips curling upwards. Before you could grasp onto this moment though, the prince turned on his heel and walked towards the pavilion, walking away from you and from the light that was shining onto him.

Afterwards, it happened a few more times that you and prince Jinyoung met in the garden, around the pond. Truthfully, when you hadn’t been serving the Queen, and you had been working in the courtyard instead of the palace, you had come to the pond, but not so late at night. However, it felt good to take a bit of a walk somewhere aside from the walls within the palace, and the garden was truly mesmerising under the moonlight. So you could believe that you hadn’t crossed paths with the prince before because you had been walking around at different times.

On the other hand, despite knowing that you might meet him in the garden these days, you didn’t back away. After all, you weren’t doing anything shameful, and no one else was around, so rumours couldn’t fly around regarding you two. At least, you tried to tell yourself such reasonable words, but you were conflicted just how far this could go. A court lady and a prince talking late at night around the pond? No matter how many times you told yourself that this wasn’t wrong, you felt oddly at unease whenever you heard something crackling or murmurs rippling the night air - even from far away.

Yet, when you were in the act of talking to the prince, you couldn’t feel more at ease. Talking to him felt natural and he didn’t seem so distant while sharing stories with you even though you two came from very different backgrounds. Beside you, he seemed like a boy turning into a young man, knowing the responsibilities of his actions yet letting the childish side in him come to the surface when his duties didn’t call for something else.

Not to mention that it was, in a way, fluttering to be able to talk to him in the first place, let alone get to know him. You realised that he was both very different and not so different from you. He didn’t care about your rank, or that you might tell others about what he was telling you because he trusted you enough, and you trusted him the same. Maybe this was why he was open to talk about the disruptions in the kingdom, and how much the royal family would try to protect peace within its borders.

And maybe this was why he wanted to let you know about the secret you had suspected some time ago.

“The truth is, I don’t have magic,” he blurted out one time after silence had taken over the two of you.

You had been looking at the ripples across the pond, watching the many colours dance under its surface, hiding fish in all shapes and sizes, but your eyes found their way to the prince’s delicate features when he spoke up. He looked ahead of himself, his lips pressed into a thin line, and it wasn’t a different image from his usual self. However, instead of his hands resting in his lap, his hands were balled into fists, clutching a part of his snow-white robe.

“Why… why are you telling me this?”

You tried to keep your voice as gentle as possible because you had a feeling that this was a confession that must have been living in his heart for so long, trying to break out, but it was a caged creature - forced within the bars by his family more than himself. Even though not all of the members of a family had magic if one person possessed it since it wasn’t hereditary, it seemed that the royal family wanted it to be true since the King had magic in his veins, and princess Jinhee was said to possess it, too. However, you had a feeling that prince Jinyoung didn’t do so because you had never heard him use it whereas princess Jinhee was frequently praised for her skills.

What was more heartbreaking than this was the fact that the Queen tried so hard to hide his lack of magic - as you had experienced it on the training field when she had claimed that prince Jinyoung would take care of his wounds if he got hurt -, and maybe it was because she came from a different kingdom and thus didn’t have magic, but you had a feeling that she didn’t know the weight of her actions. She didn’t realise how much she was denying something that the prince didn’t wish to talk about to begin with.

You didn’t act like a fool, that’s why you didn’t ask him if it was true for you had a feeling for some time, and he seemed to notice that, too.

“Because I know you’ve figured it out yourself, and it feels good to tell someone else about it apart from my friends,” he explained as he averted his eyes from the scenery to you, and you gulped when you saw the hurt in his pitch-black orbs. Maybe it was that you mistook his pain for secrecy before, but now instead of a stern, out of reach, almighty prince, all you could see was a boy grieving something that had never been his, feeling guilty for something he had no control over and being vulnerable to someone who shouldn’t have mattered to him.

Yet, since he was willing to share his secret with you, you didn’t want to think about whether it was right or wrong. Instead, you wanted to be there for him, comforting him with words.

“You aren’t any less because you don’t have magic, Your Highness,” you whispered to him, afraid that your words might open up his wound instead of tending to it, but he didn’t seem to take it to heart.

“And you aren’t any less because you’ve grown up without a mother,” he added similarly quietly, and you felt your heart drop. You were about to say something, but then, you closed your mouth, pondering how to word this feeling. “See. It’s difficult to believe it no matter how many times others tell you.”

It was difficult, he was right, but you assumed that no one really knew how much the absence of your mother still impacted you, and the way you thought of yourself. He did, it seemed. He might have been reserved and didn’t like to pry in other’s business, but he was perceptive, even more than you would have thought so.

“How do you… Why does it feel like you know me so well, Your Highness?” You furrowed your eyebrows, not accusing, merely curious. Prince Jinyoung, as if he was waiting for you to confirm, let his lips curl a bit upwards before leaning a bit closer to you, as if he was telling a secret.

“I’ve told you. I’ve heard you talk to yourself at this pond. I just never wanted to interrupt you,” he explained matter-of-factly, but that was not enough for you. You didn’t know what took hold of you, but you were persistent, so you asked:

“So why tell me now?”

Prince Jinyoung looked back at the pond, then shrugged his shoulders. After some silence, you decided to drop the topic, and excused yourself to head to your room instead. Your heart was in mayhem already, you didn’t want to continue this dance that had started between you two because you were afraid that all it took was a few more turns to fall into his arms, to fall into him.

Thankfully, he didn’t hold you back, nor did he come with you, so you could walk to the courtyard, your heart still hammering in your chest. That's how you missed him saying to himself after you had left:

“Because you aren’t that unreachable now.”

The fact that you served the Queen directly meant that you knew more about the kingdom’s business affairs than before as the royal family including the King, the Queen, prince Jinyoung and princess Jinhee often attended business meetings with and without the royal council. It was said that it was, so that they knew exactly what was going on in the kingdom, and it was a merit for the children of the royal couple as well. Trading, business affairs and politics were fields that prince Jinyoung would be involved in as the future heir, and princess Jinhee would be considered a knowledgeable young lady if she knew of such topics, making her an even better wife candidate. When the council had a meeting, you were supposed to wait outside along with the other servants, but when it was just the royal family members, you could stay inside and possibly help the Queen to write letters and contracts for her or to read them for her.

The main issue these days was the unjustifiable attacks on a royal carriage sometime ago and a recent revolt near the borders - both lead to the assumption that rebels from the nearby kingdom were behind the attacks. It wasn’t very concerning for now, but the royal family wanted to be prepared for every scenario, and they tried to put out the fire before it could burn down their reputation. That’s how you found yourself accompanying the Queen and princess Jinhee to visit Naturalia that offered favourable trade in exchange for the princess marrying into the family.

You, a few other servants, soldiers from the royal army and two magic medics - including Byounggon whom you frequently saw around prince Jinyoung - accompanied you, so you ended up going in three different carriages, and the plan was to stay for two days and one night. You tried not to look around too much, but you hadn’t travelled outside of the kingdom before because you had started working at the palace from such a young age, and this particular kingdom boosted the magic of nature, so all kinds of surfaces were covered in colourful plants, vivid trees and rainbow-like herbs. You had read that there were people who regularly went to collect such magical plants, but the trading of their magic was limited to their kingdom only. Unless princess Jinhee would marry prince Jaehyeong.

However, your awe was cut short when upon the introductory tour around the palace, you were invited for some tea, and the servant - Hyeri - who tried the so-called immunity boosting drink to test it before the royal family would do so started gasping for air.

“What is it? What is the problem?” The Queen immediately rose to her feet, but you and another court lady were already there to hold onto the woman whose face turned purple. She looked like she was struggling to breathe, constantly hitting her chest with her balled fists and struggling to keep upright.

Bewildered, you found yourself hyperventilating for a moment, but then, you tried to remember what your father had always said. Do something about a problem first, and panic only if the consequences are not in your favour.

“I’ll call for the medics,” you suggested hastily, almost falling over your feet as you picked up the hem of your robe and ran out of the dining room to call for the two medics who were stationed outside in the hall. You quickly explained the situation, but they didn’t waste time either, they immediately came rushing with you. By that time, the woman was already on the floor, lying seemingly unconscious.

You felt your heart beating wildly against your ribcage, like a wild horse that didn’t know where to go in the unfamiliar woods. You couldn’t help but think of the worst case scenario, and you felt blood rushing to your head, making you dizzy. What if it was a trap? What if this was the plan of Naturalia’s royal family all along? What if your Queen was in danger? What if all of you were in danger?

Despite being wary and conscious of the many reasons behind this incident, prince Jaehyeong’s mother was seemingly shocked as well, trying to come up with different scenarios as to why it could happen - maybe the court lady was allergic to the ingredients in the tea -, but the Queen was suspicious, and didn’t let it slide even when the joined effort of the two medics and princess Jinhee’s magic helped Hyeri to regain consciousness.

“It was too strong of an effect for it to be accidental. If three of us needed to use magic to help my court lady, it was intended to kill one of us. Even if the incident was out of your control, it is not safe for us to stay here,” the Queen concluded rather indignantly, and at least the other royal family members didn’t protest, and reassured her that they would do everything in their power to get to the bottom of this case.

The ride back to the palace was a tense one because it meant that even if the Naturalia royal family didn’t want to kill the Queen or the princess, someone in their royal court would want to do so, someone who had the power to get inside their walls and put some kind of poison in the tea. They should have known that such royalty didn’t just drink or eat before testing it out with their servants, so maybe it was a kind of warning. First the carriage incident, then the rebels, now this… Was it all because the two kingdoms were to be united by the prospectus wedding? Did a group of citizens from the other kingdom have anything against your Queen?

You kept thinking about the what ifs, signs you should have seen, but you still couldn’t rack your head around what had just happened. Upon your arrival back at the palace, the Queen asked you to accompany the startled Hyeri to her room instead of walking her back to her chambers since she had other servants who could help her now. You obeyed her, but your voice was shaky as you responded to her, and your hand trembled when you reached out to hold onto the court lady. It could have been you as well, you could have died that day…

“It’s all okay. You’re safe now,” you mumbled to Hyeri nevertheless, trying to soothe her nerves, but you could still see how frazzled she was. Even when you left her after she had thanked you for your assistance and denied that she needed anything else, you could clearly see how terrified she was. You told her that she shouldn’t hesitate to call for you if she changed her mind and needed anything. Afterwards, you left her behind and started aimlessly walking around the court until your legs didn’t feel wobbly anymore. You needed time and some fresh air to clear your mind.

You were just about to head to the court ladies’ house when you walked into prince Jinyoung who looked just as shaken up as you deemed that you had been some time ago. His usually delicate locks sat on top of his head messily as if he had been running his hand through his hair more often than it was necessary, his jet-black eyes were painted with agony, his facial expression alarmed and his voice shaky when he spoke up.

“Are you… alright?” His words came out raspy, as if he was still trying to catch his breath. Did he come to the court ladies’ area after hearing the news? Why did he seem so uncharacteristically concerned? The usually stern and reserved prince didn’t usually meddle with the servants’ business as you had seen. He was on good terms with his soldier friend, Seunghun, and one of the magical medics, Byounggon, but he usually didn’t worry about the court ladies’ safety. Some said that it was because he didn’t want to be swept up in rumours while you deemed that it was only natural since he was royalty, and of the obedient type.

You bobbed your head, though you were at a loss for words seeing him in this state.

“Are you sure you don’t need more medical assistance?” The prince continued, taking a step closer to you as if to examine if you had visible injuries. However, the way he worded himself sent waves of warmth through your body.

“Oh, it was not me who drank the tea. It was court lady Kim,” you justified to the prince whose lips formed a surprised ‘O’ in return. Other than that, he didn’t seem taken aback, more like a bit coy, but his features softened as if he had been relieved by your answer.

“Oh… is she alright, too?”

“Yes, I helped to accompany her back to her room,” you explained, trying to keep the shaking out of your voice. You had never thought before that being in the court could mean that you were in direct danger because you weren’t a soldier or a bodyguard, but it seemed that there were multiple ways one could weaken a King on the throne.

You heard a door opening and carefree chatter coming out of a house nearby, so instinctively, you grabbed the prince’s robe and pulled him to the wall of the nearest house, into the shadows. You couldn’t really tell what took hold of you, but it felt oddly wrong to be so out in the open with just the prince. It was different in the garden when there were just the two of you. It was like your little hideout, an island of solace, a place of security, however now, you felt like you were stripped bare.

Prince Jinyoung’s eyes widened in surprise at first, but he must have guessed your reason for bringing him with you out of the public eye because he didn’t protest, nor did he ask why you had acted this way. Instead, he peeked out from behind the wall, then back at you.

“And you? Are you alright?” He asked as if he had just continued from where he had left off. “This must have shaken you up.”

The way his words were so gentle, so caring made you feel things that you shouldn’t have. If the prince was the moon that lit the way for the people of the kingdom, the light in the darkness, the hope in the unfamiliar, you would be the sun that shone only during daytime, shining bright until night came, and the moon took its place. You two weren’t supposed to encounter each other, let alone seek out time to see each other.

He shouldn’t have cared about you, and you shouldn’t have let him, but still… You couldn’t lie straight to his face.

“I am… I just…” You wanted to say so much, yet the words died on the tip of your tongue. Your heart was way heavy, the flashbacks of the scene in the dining room even heavier, and you felt a drop of tear sliding down your cheeks as you were trying to pull yourself together. You had to stay strong, you couldn’t show him vulnerability. He couldn’t care about your vulnerability. “I am sorry, Your Highness. I do not want to bother you anymore. Please, go on your way,” you said instead, keeping your eyes down as you bowed.

You wanted him to go away, to stop caring, to stop looking at you, but he didn’t budge, and it was a rule that you could straighten up only when a royalty took the first step. However, he didn’t do so, instead, he tapped your shoulder, and helped you straighten up.

“You don’t bother me at all,” he mumbled like a secret, a feeble attempt at diminishing the gap between you two that should have always mattered, but he crossed it as if he didn’t see it at all.

And you, you weren’t strong enough to push him away. Not that day, not in the comforting shadows under the faint moonlight, not out of the public eye when he looked at you as if he was ready to give you the world. The hand that had rested on your shoulder before now slid to your back as he embraced you, holding you strong, holding you steady

The walls crumbled down, the shield of your heart taken away, your rational thoughts tossed aside. Now, there was only his comforting touch that put out even the tiniest flicker of resistance within you, and for a moment, you believed that this could be your reality, your present and future, and your forever.

After the incident, the palace was in uproar. They couldn’t let it slide as promised, and so the investigation started to get to the bottom of this. The royal family of Naturalia was helpful though, and soon enough, they found a group of rebels who didn’t want your kingdom to be in alliance, let alone in union with their kingdom because of the special magical plants they possessed. They deemed that it was their gift and their gift only. It made sense why the attack on the carriage had happened when a letter had been delivered to Naturalia, then around the borders when news had gotten around that a marriage deal had been proposed to princess Jinhee, then when the Queen and the princess had actually gone to visit the other kingdom.

They didn’t find all of the rebels though, and there was no guarantee that they wouldn’t attack again no matter the fact that peace was in both parties’ favour. So for now, the marriage proposal was put on hold, and instead, your kingdom tried to strengthen its ties with other alliances. After the passing of the King in Elementalia - the land of elemental magic where people could possess the ability to control fire, earth, water and air -, his rather young heir took place, but it meant that marrying one of their princesses off to another kingdom would secure their power with a boy king on the throne.

That’s how you found yourself in the room with the Queen, prince Jinyoung and other servants, listening to their conversation about prince Jinyoung marrying the princess in question.

“They are in a tight spot, and we are in need of securing our safety. Who knows when those rebels would attack us again? It is best if we do not push your sister’s marriage with prince Jaehyeong now, but rather, we reassure them that we will not make moves towards their kingdom. The best way to do that is to shift their attention to our other affairs… such as your possible marriage with the princess from Elementalia,” the Queen concluded confidently, but you could hear the indignation in her voice. Seeing one of her court ladies almost getting poisoned took a toll on her as it did on all of you. One of her court ladies had even resigned, feeling like her safety was threatened.

Needless to say, prince Jinyoung was also aware of the tension in the kingdom, and while you had only met him once since that embrace, he had seemed rather troubled then and now as well.

“And princess Yunkyeong is said to be a very intelligent, obedient young lady. You might not be interested in her now, but at least, give her a chance. Let us arrange a meeting with her, and see how you feel about her being your wife. I will not force you to make any rash decisions, but we-”

“We need this marriage deal now to reassure our people that our kingdom isn’t threatened. I know, Mother,” the prince cut her off, his voice void of any emotions. His face was also void of any emotions, save for the slight wrinkles forming on his forehead.

You wished you could do anything to help this situation, but in cases like this, your hard work didn’t mean anything. These affairs were bigger than you, bigger than anyone in the royal court. Plus, the Queen was right. Despite not talking explicitly about what had happened in both the carriage and the tea incident, word had gotten out, especially with the rebels making a ruckus around the border. The people were confused and scared, questioning what the royal family’s next move might be. It was best to reassure them with such prosperous news rather than talk about any uncertainty.

“I will come back when you feel ready to give me your answer,” the Queen suggested as she rose from her seat, and so the servants lined up behind her. As you got in line, you made the mistake of looking at the prince, and he looked back at you, though you couldn’t exactly say you knew exactly what he was feeling. However, a shadow of sorrow passed through his features, but you didn’t know what it was for. Or rather, you didn’t want to know.

So you kept your eyes on the ground even after straightening your back from bowing at the prince, and didn’t look back.

You purposefully didn’t go to the garden afterwards. You could have said that you didn’t have time or you were too troubled by the recent events, but the truth is, you merely wanted to avoid meeting the prince. If you hadn’t had conscience before, now you would have felt like you had betrayed the Queen and all that she had worked so hard for if you had kept up your encounters with prince Jinyoung, and the people had gotten to know about it. Such news might even prompt princess Yunkyeong and her family to step back from their marriage proposal. After all, a prince and a court lady should never meet under private circumstances, let alone embrace in the shadows.

Now more than ever, you regretted letting prince Jinyoung console you in your state, you should have known that it would lead to nothing good. You should have stayed strong, you should have never shed tears in front of the prince. On the other hand, you knew, you knew very well with prince Jinyoung’s personality that he wouldn’t have felt compelled to embrace you even if you had been crying. He had done it because he had wanted to, but this thought only weighed down on you even more. What were you two doing anyway? Even if you had moments when you could have believed that your feelings would be reciprocated, the question wasn’t whether they would be reciprocated, but just how wrong it would be if they were reciprocated? You couldn’t fall in love with a prince.

Nonetheless, it was too late. You felt that bittersweet tug whenever you walked to your room straight after finishing your duties for the day without wandering around in the garden, you felt a wave of childish thrill go through your body whenever you caught sight of similarly pitch-black locks as the prince had - though you knew that it couldn’t be the prince for the royal family always wore white and the court members always wore burgundy-black -, and you felt your heart yearning for him, like a person coming up for air after being underwater for too long.

No matter how many times you tried to tell yourself that you could only make things worse if you felt everything so deeply, so grandly, your heart was at war with your brain, and it seemed that your brain was at defeat. Despite everything, you longed for what you had, for what you could have and for what you would never have with prince Jinyoung.

It didn’t make things any easier that you were there when the prince gave his answer to the Queen - that he would meet the princess in person -, you were there when they were arranging for the arrival of princess Yunkyeong and the Queen of Elementalia, and you were there when they arrived. You even needed to be the one to notify the prince that they arrived, and you felt a lump forming in your throat as you walked closer and closer to the prince’s chamber. You felt like your legs were made of steel, your limbs numb and your heartbeat as erratic as it could be.

Even though you had never been to the prince’s chamber, you knew where it was for it was the room closest to the Queen’s own chamber. Knocking on its door made you think of scenarios where you could do the same, but you quickly got rid of all of these silly fantasies. After all, they were nothing more than fantasies, irrational wishes and ultimately bullets through your already fragile heart.

When the prince answered, you opened the door to his chamber, and you made your way inside, bowing immediately before letting him know about why you were there. You could see that prince Jinyoung was both surprised and reassured by your presence, but he pursed his lips into a thin line when you explained the reason behind your visit.

“What do you think about this marriage?” The prince asked abruptly, and for a moment, you felt like icy thorns were invading your throat, making it impossible to speak, gulp or even breathe. Why did he have to make this even more difficult?

Deep inside, your rational side managed to break free from all the fantasies, and reminded you that you would only make things worse if you acted as if you were affected by the possibility of prince Jinyoung marrying a princess. As he should have after all. So you pulled yourself together, and tried to word yourself very diplomatically.

“I believe it is a very beneficial one, and princess Yunkyeong is said to be a lovely young lady as well, Your Highness,” you reasoned, keeping your voice steady. You even managed to keep eye-contact with him, and you saw confusion flash across his features. He seemed weary, someone who hadn’t been sleeping well because of his tormenting thoughts, and you wished to soothe the wrinkles on his forehead, to feel the warmth of his touch again, and to hold his hand to reassure him that everything would be alright, but you knew it was all just wishful thinking. It was all just a lie.

The prince took a few steps closer to you and you took a few back because you didn’t know what he was about to do without saying a word. Your back almost touched the door, and in a fraction of fragile seconds, he closed the said door, and turned back to you. This way, no one in the corridor could see you or listen to you two.

“Is that what you honestly think?”

His gaze was piercing, almost burning, and it felt like he could see right through you. His usually warm orbs reflected sadness, sorrow and bitterness - something that you saw reflected in your own ones recently. Seeing him in this state made you feel even worse for lying to him, but you had to. Words were your only defence now.

“Yes, Your Highness. I wish nothing but the best for you.”

“Do you believe it would be the best for me if you kept this up, and I would lose you in the meantime?” He kept going on strong, almost demanding, but you could detect the thorn in his words, you could detect his fear. Even though he wasn’t as close to you as he had been when he had embraced you in the shadows, you still felt like he was about to break down your walls. You couldn’t let that happen. Not this time.

“I do not believe that my presence should matter that much, and besides, we should hurry to-” You tried to direct the conversation back to the way it had started, but the prince cut you off, and the sincerity, the pain and the same longing you felt laced his words, and you were rendered speechless.

“It does matter that much even if you might not think so. So just once, can’t you be honest with me? Can’t you tell me what you really feel?”

Amongst many, there was one thing about prince Jinyoung that made him a likely successful heir to the throne: no matter what he said, he could make others believe it, no room for doubts. His voice was always confident, no cracks or wavers, but now, his voice shook. It shook like a man’s during prayers, during struggle and during darkness. As if he was desperate.

You physically ached to give him the answer he wanted, but you were already hurting so much, so you made a promise to yourself that no matter how and when you would meet him again, you wouldn’t let it continue the same way as it had done before. The sooner you could put an end to it, the less it would hurt.

Or so you assumed.

“I do not understand what you intend to say with it, Your Highness, but my duties lie with the Queen, and I always, always put her commands first,” you emphasised sternly, masking your tone in a coldness that you had never found within you before. “So if you could follow me now, that would make my job easier,” you added, strictly drawing the line between you two, and before waiting for his answer like you should have according to the etiquette, you walked around him, opened the door and walked out.

You expected him to follow you, and he did, but you were thankful that he didn’t walk beside you because you had to bite your cheek to keep your tears from flowing. It hurt for you to be so rigid to him, but that was the only way you could put a distance between you two.

So why did it hurt so much? Why did it pain you more to lie to him than if you had just been honest with him? If this was love, why did it hurt so bloody much?

It turned out that princess Yunkyeong was indeed a lovely young lady, and seeing her interact with the prince made you feel undeniably bitter because she was so bright, so considerate and so patient, you wished you could have turned back time to never make him feel anything because you knew why he was so distant. Even though he was trying not to appear stern, you could see the way his facial expressions changed in a fraction of a second when he turned away from her. You knew that the reason was you.

Nonetheless, you hoped that he wouldn’t cling onto the foolish hope of you two ever having your own happy ending because just as much as you would have liked to delude yourself into thinking that you could have anything together, it would be simply impossible as long as you were a servant and he was a prince. Which meant that you could never do so.

So when you heard after the princess’ visit that the prince had given in to the marriage, you should have felt relieved, yet you would be lying if you said that you were. After all, it would mean that you would see the princess around all the time because she would move into the palace after the wedding, and though the pain might numb after a while, her presence would always remind you of what you could have had if it had been for different circumstances.

You tried not to think about it, you really tried, but there was a pang in your chest whenever you and prince Jinyoung were in the same room when he met up with the Queen, and despite not catching each other’s eyes, your heart couldn’t sit still. The same went when you walked by him in the corridor, just one look at him and the fact that you could never be close again almost felt like the consequences of getting burnt. You were too close to the fire, but you were tempted, so you touched the flames, and now you were hurt, yet still yearning to do it again. Now you understood the expression that you would walk through fire for someone, you really did.

You were almost glad that the Festival of Day and Light happened a few days before the wedding because you could get time off to visit back home, to visit the festival because the Queen was preoccupied with the wedding arrangements, and hence, she would stay inside her chamber for most of the day.

It was the usual yearly festival for the fall equinox, and when you had been younger, you had been ecstatic to spend this day with your mother, to commemorate the gift of light, and to light a candle for all your loved ones, wishing them a bright year. There were all kinds of games for kids, stalls of delicacies lining up on the main market square, people lighting candles and placing them on the riverside that crossed the capital of the kingdom, and white or yellow decorations in the shape of stars, the Sun and the Moon.

Despite the usual joyous atmosphere of the celebration, ever since your mother had died, you hadn’t gone out to celebrate it as your father wasn’t the kind to believe in such things. So this year as well, you went home for the day, had a meal together with your father, helped him around the house, talked about everything that came to mind, then headed back to the palace later at night. Yet, there was no way you would be able to go around the celebrations on the main market square, so you mindlessly walked through it.

To be precise, you wanted to, but an elderly woman with an impossibly wide smile shoved a candle into your hand, and looking down at it, you didn’t have the heart to not light it up. So you walked to the edge of the river, a less crowded part of it, and crouched down to touch your candle to the wick of another one, watching as the flame moved from one candle to the other.

Then, you placed yours on the ground, closed your eyes and wished for your father’s health, your mother’s comfort in the spirit realm, the court ladies’ perseverance, the Queen’s well-being and even for prince Jinyoung’s happiness. You really wished nothing but the best for him even if you weren’t a part of it.

When you opened your eyes to the world around you and straightened up, you didn’t expect to find a familiar pair of jet-black eyes staring back at you. Your heart and mind didn’t even have time to protest, the words already rolled off your tongue.

“Your Highness,” you greeted him with your mouth slightly agape, then pulled yourself together for a proper bow. He placed his index finger on his lips - just like the time he had picked up the hairpin for you -, and the déjavu of the whole situation sent a chill down your spine.

He indeed looked like he didn’t want to be seen as he didn’t wear his trademark white robe, but a burgundy-black one with a hood that now covered most of his face, but you could never mistake his orbs for anyone else’s. You had stared into them, you had gazed at them and you had daydreamed about them enough times to be able to recognise them anywhere.

“What are you doing here?” You inquired quietly. It wasn’t unheard of that the royal family members went out for such celebrations, but then they walked into the sea of people in their usual clothes with bodyguards around them. This time, the prince seemed to be alone, and you expected him the least out of anyone since his wedding was just around the corner.

“I’ve never had the opportunity to light a candle. I’ve gotten Seunghun’s clothes, so that I could come here in peace, and then I saw you here…” He trailed off by the end as if he wasn’t sure that he should have said so much, but you could understand him. Especially after how you had lied to him last time.

“Should you be here so close to your wedding?”

Your question might have been assumed to be laced with malice, but you didn’t ask about it out of spite. You were concerned about him, that’s all. You knew how fussy the Queen was about the whole wedding, and it took a toll on prince Jinyoung (or was it that he still didn’t let go of you?). The last thing you had expected from him these days was to see him at the festival.

“Probably not,” he replied, and despite the tense question, the corner of his lips curled upwards, a bit childish and a bit bashful. Not the expression you had expected to see on him given his general state nowadays.

However, the prince didn’t seem guilty now, but there was definitely melancholy in his features. His lips couldn’t bloom into a full smile, his eyes weren’t twinkling, and his limbs were all tensed up as if he was ready to bolt anytime. Maybe he really was, seeing how he covered himself up.

Your heart ached for him, for all the possibilities that were crushed by the sole difference between your ranks, and for all those endless fantasies he had been a part of, ones that popped into your mind whenever you let your mind wander off, whenever you caught sight of him at the palace, and whenever you walked by the pond in the garden. Even though the latter had become a place of solitude, a safe haven for you, now it was just another thing that reminded you of your pain. The wound was there, and it was still open, it was still bleeding, no wonder it was difficult to wait out the time it would start to heal.

And in a way, something in your gut told you that he was the same. His following words proved it, too.

“But I’ve wanted to wish for someone’s bright future even if I won’t be a part of it,” prince Jinyoung suddenly broke the silence, his voice coming out raspy. He crouched down to light his own candle as he continued, but you were glad that he couldn’t see your face because his words struck you to your very core. “I felt like I wasn’t supposed to tell her after what we’ve been through and that she wouldn’t let me tell her how I wish the best for her, so I came here instead. I was hoping that my wish would somehow be carried forward.”

The more he talked, the more certain you were that he was talking about you, and instinctively, tears began to spill. You tried to hold them back, but they found their way to the surface, and all you could do was to sob silently, hoping that prince Jinyoung would look at his candle for a long enough time, long enough for your heart to prepare itself for a response, for your heart to prepare itself for a possible goodbye.

You reached to wipe the tears off your face, but as the prince straightened his back, that’s exactly what he caught you doing, so there was no turning back. You let your sobs reverberate through your body, your words following the rhythm of your tears like raindrops on a windowsill.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled through tears, not being able to look him in the eye. So you just stared at your shoes instead while your tears dropped to the ground one after another. Drip… drop… drip… drop… “I thought that being harsh would be the only way I could make it hurt less, but it still hurts so much.”

“I know. I don’t blame you,” came the answer almost immediately, and when you looked at prince Jinyoung through the waterfall of your tears, you saw the same kind of longing that you dressed your features in these days. If anything, that just made you feel worse. Why couldn’t you be as heartless as last time?

You sobbed quietly, hoping not to attract unnecessary attention, but this part of the riverside was pretty quiet, and the stillness of it all magnified the loudness of your beating heart. You felt like it would break through your ribcage to find the prince’s own heart because it was what it sought after. Too bad that you couldn’t listen to your heart now…

“I’m sorry, too,” prince Jinyoung added, his voice cracking by the end.

You knew what was to come even before it happened, but as opposed to last time, you didn’t feel warmth, you didn’t feel comfort. When the prince embraced you, there was pain; because when you share the same kind of pain with someone, your pain is amplified by the other’s pain. It was a gawking, raw, soul crashing kind of ache, one that you felt in your bones, in your veins and in your heart. You couldn’t even do anything about it, your arms just hung idly by the prince’s body, your tears spilling endlessly, words abandoning you and sobs scratching your throat instead.

You couldn’t tell how much time had passed by when the prince let go of you, but you had a feeling that it was for good. When he squeezed your hand gently, you could feel the hesitation only for a short moment, and then, he slowly slipped through your fingers, all of your remaining hope leaving with him.

The walls that he had broken down now laid at your feet, lifeless and in multiple, messy pieces.

You somehow pushed through the wedding, but afterwards, you kept coming down with something, and even Byounggon’s healing and the medics’ tips couldn’t help because it just kept coming back, so the Queen granted you indefinite leave to go back home and to recharge yourself.

The truth is, once you were off the palace grounds, you got better, and you had a feeling why. On top of that, your father was also feeling poorly, so you were glad that you could be at home during this time. The truth is, ever since you had left for the palace 16 years ago, you hadn’t spent more than a week straight at home, so now that you were there, you realised just how much time had passed by, just how lonely your father must have been, how worn out your old shoes had been, and how loaded all your bookshelves were.

You made yourself busy in and around the house, cleaning up, buying new pillows for yourself and new clothes for your father (it seemed that he didn’t like spending money on himself, rather on books), picking up some herbs for your father from the nearby medics - from two young men, Hyunsuk and Yonghee, who were said to be good friends -, cooking, sewing clothes that were torn, reading the books you had not yet read from the shelves, and daydreaming about how you would take prince Jinyoung to your home, how you would lead him around the house and how you would introduce him to your father… if the circumstances had been different, and he hadn’t been a prince married to a princess.

The news of the royal family reached your neighbourhood as well, so you knew that the prince was on a trip to Elementalia with his wife, and maybe that’s what prompted you to go back to the palace then to formally hand in your written resignation.

The Queen didn’t seem taken aback by your decision, in fact, she rose from her usual sitting position, put her hand on your trembling ones, and gave you an almost motherly smile.

“Thank you so much for your service in the past 16 years. Your mother would be exceptionally proud of you. I wish nothing but the best for you and your father,” she said as she sent you on your way, and when you walked out of her chamber and passed by prince Jinyoung’s own chamber, you knew that it was for the best. Maybe some would say that you ran away from him, but you knew that you couldn’t have run away from the pain even if you had tried. So you had tried to give yourself space and time to decide what would be the best for you, and both your body and your heart thanked you for this decision.

You couldn’t help a teardrop roll down your cheeks though as you stepped through the gates - probably for the very last time -, flashbacks washed into a wheel of events; so much laughter, so much learning, so much love and so much pain. Like the different colours of a rainbow, all of these were needed to make you who you were today, and even though you didn’t believe in forever anymore, you would always, truly, deeply wish for nothing but the best for prince Jinyoung. He had given you so much care and affection, and this was the only way you could repay him.

A/N: I managed to finish writing and proofreading this story in time for the comeback, but I didn't think that it would top all the pain that the comeback might cause. Sorry for that, but I hope that you enjoyed the angst of it!

How do you like the comeback, the MV and the album? Do you have a favourite song? I love suffering, and I love emotional MVs, but the MV and the whole album were on another level in the best way possible. I think the boys outdid themselves again, and I'm super proud of them!

All in all, I hope you enjoyed the story! Thank you so much for reading it! ❤️

If you want to read more stories of mine, let it be for CIX or for other bands, consider signing up for my taglist here.

On top of that, keep your eyes out for the other boys' stories set in this universe! 😉

#cix #jinyoung #cix imagines #cix scenarios #cix x reader #cix x you #jinyoung scenarios #jinyoung imagines #jinyoung x reader #jinyoung x you #bae jinyoung scenarios #bae jinyoung imagines #bae jinyoung x reader #bae jinyoung x you

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yv17 · 2 years

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a/n: cix comeback was announced and i CANNOT WAIT. it's gonna be another bop (as always because they never miss) ^-^ and idk if this work makes any sense but yeah, i was falling asleep while writing this so it probably has a lot of mistakes, sorry :((

[00:59] "uh, jinyoung? i think you accidentally messed up my order."

jinyoung's head snapped in your direction, looking at you as you took the food out of the bag. you were hanging at cix's dorms as usual, you and the boys deciding that a movie night might be a nice way to spend your time. and since jinyoung lost the game of rock paper scissors - which was definitely not the only way the boys would decide on different things - this time he was the one to order food for all of you.

and he just had to accidentally take yonghee's order two times.

all of the boys turned their attention towards the two of you, knowing you'll probably be upset by jinyoung's mistake, since you were a picky eater. the boy gave you no time for any comments of disappointment, though, as he quickly ran to your side and took the box from the bottom of the bag, the one he saved for himself.

"here, you can have mine" he said, handing the box over to you, a small smile on his face. you couldn't see it, due to the lighting in the room, but the way your eyes lit up at his offer made the tips of his ears turn red. "you always steal it from me anyways, and since it's my mistake, i'll eat the wrong order."

you smiled brightly, giving your best friend a quick but warm hug and mumbling a small 'thank you' under your breath, only to grab his hand and drag him to the couch, where the other boys were currently seated.

the movie started and all six of you sat down to enjoy your food, trying to not make too much noise so you could clearly hear everything happening in the movie. jinyoung sat at the very corner, slowly munching on the food, when he heard yonghee shifting in his seat next to him.

"dude, you literally hate all the food i order" he whispered looking at the other boy with his head tilted to the side "and it's one of y/n's favorite meals. you simp for her this hard, yet you didn't knew it?"

you couldn't help but hear yonghee's comment amongst all the chaos happening on the tv screen, and the realization hit you. bae jinyoung, the boy every single girl would've killed to have, your best friend, liked you.

you tried to ignore that for the rest of the night. when it came time to wash the dishes, you were the first one to stand up, already heading to the kitchen with half of the plates in your hands. and, much to your satisfaction, jinyoung followed right after, offering to lend a helping hand.

the two of you did the chore in silence, but you could feel the occasional stares he would send in your direction.

"you know, for someone who's always trying to keep his cool guy persona, you're very obvious about staring at me" you said, not even looking up from the plate you were cleaning, and jinyoung froze in his actions.

"you don't seem to be complaining, though" he said, trying to hide the fact that he was in fact incredibly nervous; which you could see clearly, because as much as his face said nothing, the tips of his ears were still red.

and this time you caught that.

taglist: @honey-choi @moonarix @triuusi <3

>> main masterlist

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#bae jinyoung x reader #bae jinyoung #kpop x reader #cix x reader #cix fluff #cix scenarios #cix drabbles #cix jinyoung #cix x you #cix x y/n #bae jinyoung x you

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minhoskofi · 2 months

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u want more?

pairing: bestfriend!byounggon x bestfriend!fem!reader genre: non-idol!au, smut (minors dni!), some fluff warnings: grinding, teasing, edging, multiple orgasms, oral (f receiving), fingering, “baby”, "love", choking, unprotected sex, begging, use of "fuck", marking (hickeys) word count: 3.2k

As the evening sun cast a warm glow through the windows of Byounggon's cozy flat, you slumped onto his couch, clutching a tub of ice cream like it was your lifeline.

Byounggon, your ever-reliable best friend, observed your disheveled appearance with a mixture of sympathy and exasperation.

"Again?" he murmured, shaking his head as he handed you a tissue to wipe away your tears.

You chuckled humorlessly, your voice muffled by the ice cream. "Yeah, again. I swear I have the worst taste in men."

Byounggon's eyes softened as he watched you devour the ice cream, a pang of protectiveness swelling in his chest. He had seen you go through countless heartbreaks, each time picking up the pieces of your shattered heart with unwavering resilience. And each time, he wished he could shield you from the pain.

"Maybe it's time for a change of scenery," he suggested, a spark of spontaneity igniting in his eyes. "How about we escape for a while? Just you and me, away from all this mess."

You raised an eyebrow, a hint of amusement flickering in your eyes. "Are you suggesting a getaway or a pity party?"

Byounggon grinned, his dimples deepening. "A little bit of both, maybe. But mostly a chance for you to recharge and have some fun."

You chuckled, feeling a warmth spread through your chest at the thought of spending time with Byounggon.

"Alright, you're on," you agreed, a small smile playing on your lips. "But you're paying for everything, got it?"

Byounggon rolled his eyes playfully. "Of course. Consider this my treat for having to put up with your ugly crying face all these years."

You swatted his arm playfully, unable to suppress your laughter at his teasing. "Come here," you ordered, wiggling your eyebrows suggestively.

“Come where?”

You savored the last spoonful of ice cream, letting out a contented sigh as you set the empty tub aside. You patted the empty space next to you on the couch. “Here. Cuddles. Now.”

A faint blush crept onto Byounggon's cheeks, his heart fluttering nervously at your request. Lately, he couldn't deny the growing… warmth he felt whenever he was close to you, the way his heart seemed to skip a beat whenever your laughter filled the room.

"So clingy," he retorted, trying to mask the sudden rush of emotions swirling within him as he settled onto the couch beside you.

You snuggled up against him, resting your head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around you tentatively, the scent of your hair filling his senses. His heart hammered in his chest as he resisted the urge to bury his face in the crook of your neck, to hold you close and never let go.

As you drifted off to sleep in his comforting embrace, Byounggon watched over you with an unusual tenderness. He couldn't tear his gaze away from your peaceful face, illuminated by the soft glow of the evening light filtering through the window.

But as time passed, he began to feel the uncomfortable numbness creeping into his arm. Despite his reluctance to disturb your rest, he knew he couldn't bear it much longer.

He eased himself out from beneath you and gently scooped you up into his arms, cradling you against his chest as he made his way to his bedroom.

Laying you down on the bed with the utmost care, he tucked the blankets around you snugly, ensuring you were comfortable before tucking a stray strand of hair away from your face.

As you stepped into the luxurious lobby of the hotel, your breath caught in your throat at the sight of its opulent beauty. “You can’t possibly afford this,” you breathed, turning to Byounggon with wide eyes.

“Already did,” he bit back.

As you approached the reception desk to check in, the hotel staff greeted you warmly… and then apologized profusely.

Shit.

They explained that there had been a mix-up with the reservations. The last double bed room had been already booked, and they were left with only one room available, with a shared bed.

A surprise for no one.

You exchanged a hesitant glance with Byounggon, unsure of how to proceed. “I told you to book beforehand.”

Sharing a bed with your best friend shouldn't be a big deal, right?

Byounggon, ever the picture of composure, simply shrugged, a playful smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. "Looks like we're bunking together, partner. Hope you don't snore."

As the first light of dawn filtered through the hotel room’s curtains, you found yourself stirring from a fitful sleep.

Your limbs were tangled in the blankets.

A distinct lack of warmth enveloping you.

With a groan, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and turned to Byounggon, who was blissfully unaware of your growing irritation as he slept soundly beside you.

"Seriously, Gon?" you grumbled, poking him gently in the side. "You moved so much last night, I swear, I felt like I was in the middle of a wrestling match."

Byounggon let out a soft snore in response, his arm flopping lazily onto your side of the bed, effectively stealing even more of the blankets in the process. You couldn't help but roll your eyes, tugging futilely at the fabric in an attempt to reclaim your share.

"And don't even get me started on the snoring," you continued, "I could've just rented you out as a white noise machine."

Byounggon let out a snort in his sleep, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he shifted slightly, sending a sharp jab of pain shooting through your side where he had inadvertently elbowed you.

"Ow!" you exclaimed, shooting him a mock accusatory glare. "Are you doing this on purpose now?"

He was completely unfazed by your complaints.

With a huff of frustration, you grabbed your pillow and began to mercilessly pummel him with it, determined to rouse him from his deep sleep.

"Lee Byounggon! Wake! The fuck! Up!" you exclaimed, landing a harder blow with the pillow. "I can't take it anymore! You're snoring like a chainsaw, stole all the blankets, and now I'm starving!"

Byounggon stirred groggily, blinking owlishly, "Huh? What's going on?" he mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"I'm hungry!" you whined, launching another assault with the pillow for good measure. "And I can't sleep with all your tossing and turning. It's like trying to sleep on a roller coaster!"

Byounggon let out a sheepish chuckle, finally fully awake as he sat up in bed, the blankets pooling around his waist. "Sorry about that."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

His hair tousled from sleep and eyes still heavy with drowsiness, he looked effortlessly adorable and undeniably attractive at the same time. The sight caused a flutter in your chest, and you couldn't help but feel a blush creeping up your cheeks.

Snorting softly, you quickly tried to compose yourself, mentally chiding your traitorous heart for its sudden fluttering. You busied yourself with the excuse of fixing his hair, reaching out to gently run your fingers through the unruly locks, attempting to smooth them down.

"Uh, your hair's a bit of a mess," you mumbled, trying to sound nonchalant despite the warmth spreading across your cheeks. "Let me fix it for you."

“You're one to talk. You look like you just rolled out of bed yourself."

You rolled your eyes in mock annoyance, though the teasing glint in his eyes only served to deepen your blush. "At least I'm not the one who snores like a bear."

Byounggon chuckled, leaning into your touch as you continued to smooth down his hair. "Fair."

As you sat at the edge of the hotel’s pool, dipping your toes into the cool water, a sense of tranquility washed over you.

Beside you, Byounggon crouched down, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he leaned in close. "Hey, I've been meaning to tell you something," he teased.

You raised an eyebrow, curious as to what he had up his sleeve. But before you could respond, he pushed you into the water with a playful shove, sending you splashing into the pool with a yelp of surprise.

Determined to get back at him, you didn't immediately swim to the surface but watched as Byounggon treaded water, clearly worried that he had gone too far.

After a few seconds, he dove into the water, swimming towards you with a serious expression.

He grabbed you from underwater, pulling you into a tight embrace and wrapping your legs around his waist. "For fuck’s sake, don't scare me like that, you idiot," he scolded gently, his voice soft with concern. "I thought I hurt you.”

You felt his heart racing against your chest as he scolded you.

The warmth of his touch seeped into your skin as you pressed closer to him. And as you found yourself between him and the pool’s walls, his body pressed close against yours, you couldn't ignore the sudden awareness of the closeness between you.

The way his chest rose and fell with each breath, the feel of his wet skin against yours, the way his arms held you securely - it all sent a shiver down your spine.

As you returned to the hotel room, the exhaustion of all the swimming settled in, and you couldn't help but feel the overwhelming urge to just collapse onto the bed and succumb to the pull of sleep.

"Hell, no. Be for real now," Byounggon was towel-drying his hair as he paced back and forth in the room before plopping on the bed. "We can't just waste the day sleeping! There's so much to see and do - waterfalls, hiking trails, beautiful beaches. We can't miss out on all of that!"

You let out an exasperated sigh, flopping onto the bed with a tired groan. "But I'm exhausted. I feel like I could sleep for a week. And besides, isn't the whole point of a vacation to relax and recharge?"

You continued to bicker back and forth, each stubbornly clinging to your own viewpoint, until you couldn't take it anymore.

Straddling Byounggon, you leaned in close, trying to persuade him with your most convincing arguments.

"Come on, Goni," you pleaded, your hands resting on his shoulders as you looked into his eyes with determination. "Let's just stay in for now, order some room service, and go for dinner later. We can explore tomorrow when we're feeling more refreshed."

But as you spoke, you failed to notice the shift in his demeanor - the way his breath hitched slightly, the way his eyes darkened with lust. And as you leaned in closer, trying to sway him with the warmth of your proximity, Byounggon's hands found their way to your hips, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through you.

Byounggon couldn't help but stare at you. He had always found you beautiful, but he had never told you that. He didn't want to risk ruining the friendship. But seeing you on top of him like this, talking about your vacation plans and whatnot - it was too much for him to handle.

He tried to focus on whatever you were saying, but his mind was elsewhere. Down in his pants, to be exact, where he was getting extremely turned on by the feeling of your body pressed against his.

As you continued to ramble on, Byounggon's thoughts were consumed with images of the things he wished he’d do to you.

Running his hands through your hair.

Kissing your lips.

Holding you close.

Fucking you silly.

“Hey! Are you even listening to me?” You snapped your fingers in front of his face.

He snapped out of his thoughts and looked at you, trying to hide the bulge in his pants. “No, not really, no. I’ve told you not to do this”, he replied, his voice slightly strained.

You raised an eyebrow, confused “Do what? What's wrong? You’re being weird,” you asked, concern evident in your voice.

Byounggon took a deep breath and decided to take a chance.

He gently grabbed your hips,

“This…”,

then pressed you hard against his growing erection,

“is what's wrong." his voice was lower than what you were used to.

"You've been sitting on top of me for the past few minutes and I can't focus on anything but this,” he confessed, looking into your eyes.

Your eyes widened in shock as you felt his hard member pressing against you.

You had never noticed how much your own best friend turned you on, or you him.

After a moment of silence, Byounggon broke the tension, “I know. I shouldn't have done tha-”

You shushed him, placing a finger on his lips, “It's fine. We're both adults. And besides, i-it's just a natural reaction.”

You couldn't believe what you were saying, but the way your body was responding to his touch was too much to ignore. So, you did a test roll of your hips against his lap, causing him to suck in a breath.

“Don’t play with me.”, he warned.

But you kept grinding against him, feeling the heat building between you. Byounggon's hand wrapped around your neck, pulling you in closer. Your heart raced as you felt his breath on your lips, the anticipation almost unbearable.

You parted your lips slightly, inviting him to close the distance, but he hesitated.

You could see the conflict in his eyes, the struggle between desire and the fear of crossing a line with his best friend.

But you weren't about to let him pull away. You leaned in closer, your lips hovering just inches from his, silently urging him to take the leap.

"Goni," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart. "Don't overthink. Just go for it."

He hesitated for a moment longer, his gaze searching yours for any sign of hesitation or uncertainty. But all he found was a fierce determination, a longing that mirrored his own.

And then, finally, he closed the distance between you. His lips met yours in a hesitant but passionate kiss.

It was intoxicating, filled with years of pent-up feelings and passion. You couldn't control the moan that escaped from your mouth as you ground your hips against Byounggon's, causing him to grip your waist tightly.

Breaking the kiss, you trailed wet ones along his jawline, your hands moving eagerly to rid him of his shirt, fingers tracing the contours of his chest. You tugged at the fabric, pulling it over his head and tossing it aside, your own following it soon after.

Feeling emboldened, Byounggon leaned back, pulling you onto his chest as he deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth.

His hands roamed over your body, sending more shivers down your spine. You arched your back, unable to get enough of him as you pressed your body against his, feeling every inch of his skin.

You slipped a hand under Byounggon's waistband, your fingers grazing his throbbing length.

Byounggon pulled away from the kiss, panting heavily. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I want it. And I'm sure,” you replied, your hand now firmly gripping him.

That was all the confirmation Byounggon needed. He flipped you on your back, moving lower, biting and sucking on the skin of your neck, leaving marks, pressing kisses along your collarbone before reaching your breasts.

He looked up at you. A lustful spark in his eyes. Then took one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking and teasing, causing you to arch your back, letting out a soft moan.

Your hips bucked against his hand as he slipped his fingers under the waistband of your panties, flicking his fingers over your clit.

Your moans grew louder as Byounggon removed them and spread your legs apart. He took a moment to admire you before leaning down and lightly licking your slit.

Your fingers tightened in his hair as he continued to tease with his tongue.

But he wasn't satisfied with just teasing you. He wanted to taste you. Fully.

He slipped his tongue inside, lapping up your wetness and causing you to let out a strangled cry. He moved his tongue in circles, teasing your walls before flicking over your sensitive spot.

You gripped at the sheets, your body writhing with pleasure. Byounggon's mouth was working wonders on you, and you could feel your orgasm building. But before you could let go, Byounggon pulled away, earning a frustrated whimper from you.

He climbed up your body, hovering over you with a smirk. “You taste so good,” he whispered before capturing your lips in a rough kiss. You could taste yourself on his lips and it only turned you on more.

He positioned himself up at your entrance. Teasing was, apparently, his thing. He slid only the head of his cock in and out, watching your reactions.

You moaned in frustration, “Please, just fuck me already.”

But he continued to slide just the tip in and out, watching as your eyes rolled back in pleasure, “And if I just continue teasing you like this?”

"Fuck, please, for fuck's sake!" you breathed, craving him like your lungs craved oxygen.

After what seemed like an eternity, Byounggon finally pushed himself inside you, filling you completely. You both let out a moan, as he slowly moved in and out, savoring just how tight and wet you were for him.

He couldn't resist teasing you a little more, pulling out almost all the way before thrusting back in. Your moans grew louder with each thrust, nails digging into Byounggon's back.

Finally, unable to hold back any longer, he picked up the pace and pounded into you, thrusting in and out with a force that made you gasp.

He pulled back before plunging back in, setting a fast and rough pace. And as your moans filled the room, Byounggon couldn't resist wrapping his hand around your throat, choking you just enough to bring you to the edge again.

“Fuck, don’t stop.” You cried out as you reached your peak, your walls clenching around him.

“I’m not intending on stopping, love.”

He continued to pound into you, his pace quickening as he chased his own release.Your legs were shaking and your voice had turned hoarse from screaming, but you really didn't want him to stop. You wanted more.

“Please,” you begged, your voice barely audible.

He lifted your leg and placed it on his shoulder, allowing him to penetrate even deeper, spreading you wider, plunging back inside. Harder.

“You want more, baby?” Byounggon growled, his hips slamming against yours with each thrust. "Hm?"

You only nodded, your head spinning from the intensity of the pleasure coursing through your body.

He leaned down and captured your lips in a hungry kiss, his hand reaching between your legs to rub your sensitive clit. Your moans were muffled by his mouth.

Byounggon could feel you getting close again and he wasn't far behind. He quickened his pace, his own moans joining yours. Your body tensed and you screamed out his name as you came, your walls milking him for all he was worth.

He collapsed on top of you, panting and covered in sweat. Byounggon wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close, kissing your forehead.

“Best friends. Right?” Byounggon whispered with a smile.

“Oh, fuck you, Gon!” you laughed.

“Bet I did.”

a/n: this fanfic is purely fictional and solely for fun. the character(s) mentioned do not represent in any form or way the celebrity/ies, but merely using their name(s) and appearance! do not translate or repost. all rights reserved /© minhoskofi/

#cix bx #cix imagines #byounggon x reader #cix x reader #byounggon #bx #cix #lee byounggon #kpop smut #cix hard hours #cix soft hours #kpop au #cix x y/n #cix smut #byounggon imagine #bx imagine #bx x you

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veriken · 3 months

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SEUNGHUN | CIX

#kim seunghun #seunghun #cix #complete in x #0 or 1 #album #jacket #behind #photoshoot #seunghun the man you are #naver

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everywhere-all-around-the-world · 1 month

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fullsunsunoo · 1 year

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2022 Roundup : Favourite Releases by Male Artists

VERIVERY - O

from20 - WEOL

CIX - 458

&TEAM - Under the skin

ATEEZ - Guerilla

P1Harmony - Doom Du Doom

TXT - Good Boy Gone Bad

ONEUS - Same Scent

TEN - Birthday

SVT LEADERS - CHEERS

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seokmattchuus · 2 years

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Sober - Optional Bias

A/n: I don’t know what this is but like, here you go. Not sure if I proofread this well enough, I be stressed out.

You had a love-hate relationship with drinking. You usually only did it when you were stressed, but you hated how you could never shut the fuck up once you started rambling.

“Please~ I wanna stay~~” You whined over the music as you held onto his arm, your eyes trying their best to muster a pleading look.

“Y/n, you really don’t need any more drinks.” He sighed, taking your arms in his as he tried to pull you with him.

“Why not~” You pouted up at him, batting your lashes in an attempt to get him to change his mind.

“Because I’m in charge of you and if you have one more drink, guess whose problem you’re going to be?” He smiled sweetly at you, a direct contradiction to the words he just said.

But the look in his eyes had you complying. How could you say ‘no’ when he smiled at you like that.

“And what do I get if I agree?” You challenged, still pouting, but you weren’t really that upset. As long as you left together, maybe it wouldn’t be too bad.

“I’ll buy you hangover soup in the morning. Just the way you like it.” He laughed lightly as your eyes lit up at the mention of food. "Now, c'mon," He paused as he fixed his hold on you to keep you up. "Let's get you in the car."

The drive home had you wishing you hadn't had more than five drinks. Was the road always this bumpy? Were there always this many turns?

"Slow down," You whined, a small gag following the statement.

"We're not even in the car." He laughed lightly. "You fell asleep after a while and when we got here, you wouldn't wake up, so I carried you to your bed."

Through your drunken haze, you didn't believe him. Your arms reached out, patting around you and feeling the softness of your blankets.

"If you're feeling dizzy, though, you're probably gonna puke." He pointed out. "Would you like the restroom, or a trash can?"

"I'm not gonna puke." You mumbled a protest. "I just wanna sleep."

"And if you puke in your sleep?" He raised a brow.

"I'm not~" You whined. "If I was gonna puke, I wouldn't feel so cold." You stated matter-of-factly.

"Fine." He reluctantly gave in. "But you need to let me know if you feel like throwing up, okay?" He said softly. "I'll be in the living room, just call out."

"Or you could stay here, just in case I can't call out in time." Your voice was low, your previous sleepiness coming back.

“Yeah, yeah,” He smiled down at you as he tucked you in. "We both know you're just too lazy." He shook his head as he shifted back, but your arm came out to grab at his before he could get up.

“I meant it,” You mumbled, your voice soft. “Stay.” You tugged him towards you, the scent of his cologne making you want nothing more than to snuggle into him.

You meant it more than him being on simple puke-watch. It was the first time he'd stayed over in a while, and you wanted to make the best of it. Even if it meant pretending you couldn't remember it that well tomorrow.

He didn't pull away and you took the chance to pull him down next to you, your arms sneaking around his waist in the way you always wanted to.

His fists clenched at his side as your arms wrapped around him. Why were you making this so hard for him? Why couldn’t you just go to sleep?

“At least stay until I fall asleep.” You pouted, realizing you were probably making him uncomfortable.

It took everything in him to not say what he really wanted to. How he'd stay all night if it meant he got to wake up with your head on his chest. Instead, he placed a hand in your hair, slightly scratching it, and giving you a small 'hm' in agreement.

To him, you would never see him the way he saw you. You would never say this if you weren’t drunk. He’d be taking advantage if he stayed but he didn’t have the heart to tell you ‘no’.

And to you, he would never see you the way you saw him. Your petty excuses to spend time with him were running out. He'd see through it eventually, but you really couldn't help it.

“I’ll stay on the couch after you fall asleep, okay?” He was lying and he knew it. In the morning, he'd pretend he had fallen asleep while waiting.

His voice calmed you as he finally settled into your hold, his free arm wrapping around you in hopes of locking the memory in.

The way your hands laid on his chest made you feel at home. Be it your drunken self getting cozy or the way he actually felt comfortable, you hummed to yourself in delight.

And he couldn't be happier with you wanting him to stay. How your fist closed lightly, trapping his shirt in your hold. He felt brave enough to pull you closer, his head leaning down to place itself on top of yours.

Maybe it wasn’t how you wanted it to happen, and maybe he'd never speak up, but he felt more comfortable with the thought of doing so as you snuggled into him. He closed his eyes, a single thought repeating in his head to tell himself he wasn't going crazy.

Drunk words are sober thoughts.

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papermatisse · 9 months

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↘ WIP Tag Game

→ post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous they are. Let people send you an ask with any titles that intrigue them, and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! Tag as many people as you have WIPs.

→ tagged by: @biaswreckingfics

→ tagging: much like my bloodline, this ends w me. (unless you want to do this, in that case, consider yourself tagged) (I just don't know people aside from Britt so)

↘ WIPs:

→ SVT

♗ forelsket || c.sc x reader

♗ untitled1 || y.jh x reader

♗ untitled2 || y.jh x reader

♗ anomaly || h.js x reader

♗ noire || h.js x reader

♗ kingdom by the sea || j.ww x reader

♗ snowbound || k.mg x reader

♗ elysian escape || x.mh x reader

→ CIX

♖ fire & powder || k.sh x reader

♖ asymptotic || k.yh x reader

♖ would you kindly? || k.yh x reader

♖ mpdg || b.jy x reader

♖ untitled || b.jy x reader

♖ castaway || y.hs x reader

♖ untitled1 || y.hs x reader

♖ untitled2 || y.hs x reader

→ EXO

♔ untitled || b.bh x reader

♔ untitled1 || o.sh x reader

♔ untitled2 || o.sh x reader

→ I have so many WIPs, but these are the ones I'm either actively working on or I'm most excited about

→ but this is like... half of my WIP artillery

→ also I'm bad at names so unless it hits me immediately, the name is usually my last step. like the introduction is generally the last step in a thesis

→ but it's still fun to collect my favorite WIPs! like picking your favorite flowers in a garden ✨

#machi.txt #personal #wip tag game #seventeen x reader #exo x reader #cix x reader #also really dont be afraid to tag me as your in to this game if you havent been tagged yet #go ahead and play 👏👏#ALSO IK I SHOULD BE WRITING THE STUFF I HAVE OUT RN!!!!! THEY WILL BE WRITTEN I SWEAR UPON IT!!!!!!!!!

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yunhohours · 2 years

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hi hello i’ve been gone for a bit but pls send in any and all hard thoughts + theories

#what kink do you think (insert idol) has?#what scenario can you NOT get out of your head?#lmk!!!#i’m so nosy fkskdksk #svt smut #ateez smut #the boyz smut #cix smut #pentagon smut #wei smut #onewe smut #omega x smut #wayv smut

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sluttywoozi · 1 year

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OMG! i cannot believe we’re here but here we are! Thank you so much to all of my readers, your support is the only reason I post my writing. Thank you to my moots and everyone at @svthub and the lovely ladies at @sluttynetwork for welcoming me and making me feel so loved. And an extra special thank you to @sluttywonwoo without whom i wouldn’t be writing at all 💖

In honor of reaching four thousand followers, I’m going to open back up my requests for a sleepover week! please be sure to read my request guidelines before submitting an ask! I can’t promise I’ll get to them all but I will do my best!!

Also if you don’t have a request but you wanna come scream about the various men we love, please do! what’s a sleepover without talking about boys anyway (still fun that’s what it is but u know what i mean)

All fics written during the sleepover can be found here!

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restlessmaknae · 1 year

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you’re my fireflower [k.s.h]

As a medic, you would have never let an unconscious, bleeding boy die in front of you, but by saving him, you actually tie yourself to him for life.

➳ Characters: soldier!Seunghun x female!reader/you

➳ Genre: romance, fluff, comedy, fantasy, magical realism, kingdom au, hybrid au

➳ Words: 14.7k

➳ Warning: mentions of blood, wounds, cuts, minor character deaths, attacks

➳ A/N: This story was inspired by Seunghun’s red hair, hence the header from the 458 MV. I hope you enjoy it because I truly enjoyed writing this story. A poll is up at the end for possible spin-offs. Thank you so much for reading! ❤️

➳ CIX taglist: @wccycc, @dat-town

As a medic, you were used to treating wounded people, sometimes even half-naked wounded people, but a fully naked person was new even to you.

However, when you heard a loud thud as if something had crashed into your wooden house, you couldn’t just sit still and do nothing. Birds flew against your walls a lot of times, especially at nights when the dim lights outside didn’t provide enough light for them to be able to differentiate between your house and the rest of the woods. Cons of living beside the woods included frequent encounters with more or less wounded animals, but the pros included being close to herbs and flowers that you collected to make creams and lotions in order to treat the citizens of the kingdom.

On the other hand, when you walked out of the house (prepared with a wooden stick in your hand in case it wasn’t a bird after all, but a bigger animal) and you caught sight of a totally naked guy in the mud, you literally froze in place. He had some scratches on his face, there was a huge cut across his abdomen and his arms seemed bruised as well.

When you cautiously walked closer to him, an alarming thought crossed your mind: what if he was dead? It would still not explain why he was totally naked because even if he might have been defeated by an animal in the woods, it was highly unlikely that he would be rid of all of his clothes including his boots. You contemplated whether or not you should wait for Hyunsuk to come back from gathering night-blooming flowers, but he had just gone out, so it was unlikely he would come back anytime soon, and the boy in the mud seemed to be losing blood from his abdominal cut pretty quickly. The flashback of your parents bleeding out in front of you came back, and you shivered, not wanting history to repeat itself. That helplessness, that desperation…

As if anything could make the situation worse, it started raining yet again, and as the raindrops came in contact with the boy’s body, his scars seemed to darken in colour. You didn’t know what was happening - just who he was or what he was -, but based on your medical experience, it wasn’t good. Even though you didn’t specialise in magical medicine, you had a feeling that it wasn’t a good sign that his scars were changing colours, so you crouched down to the stranger, threw his arms around your shoulder and started dragging him inside the house with you.

Since there was no way you would clean him up when he was losing blood this intensively - it was enough to bear the sight of his naked body -, you laid him on the ground beside the fireplace to warm him up and put a blanket over his body, so that you could concentrate on treating his wounds while not having to look at him from the waist down. His chest was rising up and down extremely slowly, but you didn’t know what happened, so you didn’t know what to do for him. You tried to gently nudge him in the shoulder, then you patted his cheeks, but he didn’t react to either. You were really, really hoping that he wouldn’t die in front of you.

You touched his forehead to see if he had a fever, but he didn’t seem to do so. You tried to take care of his abdominal cut first, but he was bleeding so rapidly, you felt searing tears sliding down your cheeks. He couldn’t die, you had to save him. You wouldn’t be able to keep living peacefully if you let someone die after how your parents had died in front of your eyes. You just couldn’t. Fear already engulfed your mind the moment you had caught sight of him, but now you were basically terrified, so you tried to work as fast as possible.

You continued on by disinfecting his scars that seemed almost black in the flames’ light, so you wondered whether he was attacked by a werewolf for it was said that werewolf’s bite caused black marks. Though you had no recollection of werewolves inhabiting the nearby woods, so you didn’t think that it was possible. Your brain was trying to come up with more and more scenarios as you were tending to his scars, trying with a fireflower lotion in hopes of aiding blood circulation as fireflowers helped to regain one’s strength and energy.

When you got to his arm bruises, you swore your eyes played tricks on you because the scratches on his arms didn’t seem black, they were a dark ruby-red.

“I must be going crazy,” you mumbled to yourself as you put on some lavender-infused drops on his wounds. Lavender was said to soothe the skin, and it worked for all kinds of injuries: burns, bruises, inflammation, rashes and so on. So whatever he had been through, you hoped that it would help him.

After that, all you could do was lean over him and pray for him. You instinctively put your hand on his abdomen as you were crying over his body. You felt an odd sensation going through your fingers, your whole body becoming numb as you were weeping over him for god knows how long. A wave of fatigue rushed over you as if you had been drained of your energy, and you felt dizzy. You really, really wanted to save him, but what if it didn’t work?

When there was another loud thud by the doors, you almost jumped back from the boy’s body on the floor, thinking that it was another random stranger. As it turned out though, it was only Hyunsuk fumbling with the keys to the door as his fingers were slippery due to the rain.

“I swear that it’s always me who gets to pick flowers at night when it’s raining. I’m getting tired of it. Maybe someone actually cursed me or-” Hyunsuk started complaining the moment he made his way inside, and you didn’t dare to interrupt him because you didn’t really prepare an explanation for the recent events.

When your brother walked into the room and caught sight of you crouching beside a boy whose naked upper half was exposed, he was understandably shocked.

“What did I miss? Who is he? And why is he half-naked?” Hyunsuk raised an eyebrow challengingly, lacing his arms in front of his chest as if he was the older one out of the two of you, and you weren’t his older sister. “Don’t tell me you’ve brought a guy over while I was away,” he added with a mischievous glint in his eyes, and if you had your wooden stick from before, you would have surely launched it at him.

“Does it look like I brought him over when he looks like this? Do you think I even beat him up?” You exclaimed frustratedly, your tears drying on your face as you pointed at the bruises on the boy’s body only to realise that there were no bruises on his face anymore. The bandage around his abdominal cut was also less bloody than before. The cuts on his arms seemed to heal quickly as well. At least, you thought so. “Wait a minute…” You held up your hand, waves of shock going over your body. You couldn’t hallucinate his bruises. You weren’t crazy. They had been there just a few minutes ago, and there’s no way your medicine helped him to recover so quickly.

“It’s okay. You can continue. I’ll just pretend I’m not here-”

“He’s unconscious, Hyunsuk. I didn’t do anything to him and I wasn’t planning on doing anything to him, okay? Just listen to me without interrupting me, please,” you said through gritted teeth, throwing one last confused glance in the stranger’s direction before straightening up and explaining the situation to your little brother from the odd noise outside as if something had crashed into your house, finding him in the mud naked and bruised to raindrops changing the colour of his wounds. Then, you pointed out that he didn’t seem to have any wounds anymore even though you had surely seen them before.

Thankfully, Hyunsuk didn’t play you for a fool, instead, he listened to you with growing concern. Just like you had suspected, Hyunsuk was also pondering whether this guy had something to do with magical medicine as the whole blood changing colour didn’t make sense to either of you.

“It doesn’t really make sense to me. Let’s say he was drunk, but why would he go around naked in the woods while drunk and then crash into our house?” Hyunsuk mused, just as perplexed by the facts of the recent events as you were. He examined the guy on the floor as if it was an unknown plant you had never seen before and didn’t know of its use, his serious self resurfacing. “Wait, look!”

When Hyunsuk exclaimed, you turned your head towards the stranger, and your jaw dropped. It wasn’t enough that his bruises were now actually gone once and for all, the bandages turning back to their original white colour, but his previously pitch-black hair was slowly turning ruby-red. Lock by lock, soon enough, his whole hair was displaying a vivid burgundy colour.

“Uhmm, what did you give him?” Hyunsuk blurted out teasingly, and you smacked him in the chest. Though when you did so, you felt a rush of fatigue coming over you yet again. Maybe you should sit down or go to sleep soon. That night there was already a lot to take in.

“I didn’t give him anything that would turn his hair a different colour. I only put fireflower and lavender on his bruises.”

“Well then, we are either both hallucinating or this dude isn’t reacting normally to non-magical medicine.”

There were two types of medicine in your kingdom: magical and non-magical medicine. Magical medicine was mostly used on the members of the royal court including the royal family and the royal army, plus magical creatures that lived in the woods or in the mountains - such as fairies, unicorns and such - or serving the kingdom - such as dragons guarding the palace. Non-magical medicine, on the other hand, was used on humans to treat their wounds, and that was what you practised with Hyunsuk. Magical medicine was also extremely rare since only magic practitioners could deal with it since they were the ones born with the ability to tame magic, but even they needed thorough practice and extensive training to be able to make use of their abilities to their full potential. Magical medics were also almost exclusively serving at the palace.

Since you and Hyunsuk were no magical medics, you used herbs, plants and other natural remedies to treat those who came to ask for your services. You didn’t have the ability to tame magic, nor did you help magical creatures. However, since you knew what was normal in your practice and what was not, the stranger’s blood changing colour and his bruises going away in the matter of minutes were definitely not normal, and you both knew it.

At this moment, the stranger’s eyes flicked open and he sat up to reach up with his hands (though he was merely grasping air), his whole body tensing in the act. He focused on nothing in particular, and it was as if he didn’t even see you, didn’t even see what was going on around him, he acted more like a person awakening from a nightmare.

“Run!” He exclaimed, desperation dripping off his words before he fell back to the ground, his chest heaping up and down in a more uneven rhythm.

You and Hyunsuk blinked at the scene, more puzzled than ever before, and you probably waited a few minutes in silence until you dared to speak up.

“Maybe he’s actually drunk,” was what your little brother said, but he still offered to look over him for the night in case the burgundy-haired stranger woke up again and attacked you. You highly doubted that he was drunk or that he was capable of hurting someone, his previous act looked as if he wanted to warn someone about a possible danger, but as to why it seemed like that or what was it about, you had no idea.

So you let Hyunsuk keep his eyes on the stranger, you were tired either way. So tired that you fell asleep the moment you fell into bed.

You usually offered medical services in your house since your herbs, lotions and other medical remedies were stored in a separate storage room inside, but you couldn’t let visitors in until you had a naked stranger (still with a blanket covering his body) in your house. Even though Hyunsuk decided to move him from the living room to his own room, you couldn’t risk someone catching sight of him and questioning you or the stranger waking up and causing trouble. So you listened to the citizens’ concerns and symptoms on the terraced front, putting out some chairs to sit on, and if you needed something from inside, you went into the storage room and got what you needed.

Since Hyunsuk and you usually took turns offering services, it was unusual that you were on your foot all day, helping patients, but your brother insisted on watching over the stranger instead of you.

“It’s enough that you’ve seen a guy fully naked, and you aren’t married,” he had mentioned sulkily, and even though he wasn’t a very conservative boy, it didn’t mean that he wasn’t overprotective when it came to you. Especially after you had lost your parents, and you had only each other now.

“It’s not like I’ve purposefully wanted to,” you had counter-attacked, letting out a huff. You couldn’t have believed that it had been what he had been fussing over, but you had decided not to go against his words when he had offered to watch over the stranger.

So that’s why you were out treating patients all day, and when they asked why they couldn’t go inside, you said that Hyunsuk himself was sick, so you didn’t want them to catch anything. It worked though, they didn’t question your words, only a few younger girls were sad to hear that it wouldn’t be Hyunsuk who would be helping them out. Your brother was indeed popular with girls.

At the end of the day, when you asked Hyunsuk if anything had happened, he said that the stranger had seemed to wake up, grabbed Hyunsuk by the shoulders and told him to ask for help, then fell back into the bed like the night before when he had exclaimed to run. His body temperature seemed to rise after this, but it went back to normal a few hours later. A few of his locks also turned back to pitch-black, but when you stole a glance at him at night, half of his hair was still bright burgundy.

He was breathtakingly beautiful, you had to admit, with his sharp jawline, his high cheekbones, his plump lips and his charismatic aura. There was just something about him that pulled you in, but you knew better than to trust a pretty face. He might have looked gorgeous, but he was still a stranger you knew nothing about.

“Do you think something might have happened to him, and he’s having flashbacks?” Hyunsuk mused out loud that night when he came out of his room to have some warmed-up porridge with you.

“I guess so. It’s definitely odd that he’s suddenly awakening and exclaiming such alarming things. On the other hand, it’s also really odd that his wounds are no longer visible, and his hair is changing back to its original colour. Just who could he be?”

“Or what could he be?” Your little brother topped your question, and he was saying something for you knew that this was definitely not a normal occurrence. He couldn’t have been a magical creature because such creatures didn’t have fully human forms. However, his hair and super fast healing definitely had something to do with magic, so maybe he was a magician practising his skills in the woods, it’s just that whatever he had been doing the night before had backfired? That was the only logical solution you could have come up with, but that still didn’t explain his naked self.

Either way, nothing happened that night and the following morning. Everything was just like the day before, and you were about to go inside for some water since you didn’t seem to have more patients waiting outside when Hyunsuk came out of his room. More like ran out of it.

“He woke up, and he wants to talk to you. He seems pretty stable to me,” Hyunsuk notified with ragged breaths, and you furrowed your eyebrows in question.

“Me?”

“Yeah. Come on!” Your brother prompted you, but before you would have done so, you put out a sign saying that you were closed for the time being and closed the front door.

When you went into the room, you didn’t expect to see the stranger in clothes, but thankfully, Hyunsuk had seemed to give him some of his clothes although they were a bit big on him. His hair was also back to fully pitch-black, and he seemed conscious and awake, not tormented by any flashbacks.

When his eyes landed on yours, he eyed you for a second, and you thought that he would be intimidating because his gaze was deadly, and you felt like you could drop to your knees if he wanted you to. He had that aura around him, it was nowhere near his ethereal, peaceful aura when he had been sleeping. However, in the next second, his lips curled upwards, and his whole face softened.

“I’ve heard that you were the one who found me,” he stated matter-of-factly, his eyes still on yours. Gosh, his gaze was really intense, you wanted to look away, but you could already feel Hyunsuk tense up beside you, so you didn’t want him to think that you were more uncomfortable than you should have been. He seemed as harmless as one could be.

“Oh, yes…”

“Thank you so much. You’ve saved me. I’m very, very grateful for that,” he continued gently and did a whole 90-degree bow. Your hand flew to your mouth, and you exchanged a puzzled look with Hyunsuk. He was so polite as if he had been someone from a high rank.

“Ah, it’s nothing. I just… I just did what I felt like was the right thing to do,” you explained to him, a bit bashful after his sincere gratitude. You definitely didn’t expect him to be so well-mannered and collected, but maybe it helped that he was all healed now, fully clothed and he had a natural colour to his hair. He looked less intimidating this way.

“I’ll repay you both for your assistance, but before that, can you tell me what state I was in when you found me?” The stranger looked at you expectantly after straightening up, and you were sure that you were blabbering at this point, but you tried to describe the situation as best as you could. He thanked you yet again when you brought up the fact that you had taken him in from the rain, and when you mentioned what kind of medicine you had used on him first. The pitch-black haired boy hummed as he was listening to you, but slightly giggled when you mentioned him being naked.

“I’m sorry about that. That’s out of my control.”

If anything, that just made you even more confused, but sensing that you had nothing more to add, Hyunsuk picked up the storyline from where you had left off and told him about the past two days including the change of his hair and his wounds healing fast. The stranger didn’t seem surprised by it, if anything, he seemed neutral, he only seemed alarmed when you had told him that he had been here for two days.

“I need to go now, they’re already worrying about me,” he announced firmly, and you didn’t have the confidence to ask who he was referring to. However, before any of you could speak up, the stranger continued. “You two need to come with me, too.”

“We don’t even know you. You could be a criminal.” Hyunsuk threw him a glare that usually worked on those people who didn’t take no for an answer, but the pitch-black haired boy didn’t waver. If anything, he seemed apologetic about having brought up such assumptions.

“I’m sorry. I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Seunghun, and I work for the royal palace. I’m the prince’s most trusted soldier.”

“You mean, prince Jinyoung’s?” Hyunsuk emphasised in shock even though there was no other prince at the royal palace. The King and Queen had two children: prince Jinyoung was the first-born and princess Jinhee was the second-born.

“Yes. I was in a carriage delivering a message to the neighbouring kingdom when our carriage was attacked. I told the coachman to run and ask for help, I’ll deal with those who attacked us, but I don’t know if he has managed to notify anyone,” he explained thoroughly, and you could feel that Hyunsuk was ready to doubt him, but he shut his mouth close when Seunghun got to the end of his monologue.

Oh. Oh, that made more sense. Not just his actual identity but the flashbacks he was having. It didn’t explain why he was naked, but you could take it for what it was: an explanation.

“Why would you need us to come with you after this? Are you still in danger? Are we in danger now?” You eyed him tentatively, and your heart skipped a beat in fear. Did you get yourself into trouble because of him? Were these attackers looking for you too now? How serious was it?

Seunghun shook his head. He looked away for a moment before he looked back at you, and even though he was trying to keep up with his friendly approach, you could sense that what he was about to say made him feel uneasy as well. His face hardened, and his lips quivered a bit before continuing.

“It’s not about that. You have to take an oath to the royal family that you would not tell anyone about what you have seen.”

That didn’t seem so bad in your opinion, but Seunghun still looked at you as if he had been asking for a lot. You could see that he was struggling within himself, and despite not knowing him, your heart did a silly little turn out of concern.

“Why can’t you just take our word for it? We won’t tell anyone that a random naked guy just crashed into our house,” Hyunsuk insisted, his judgemental tone resurfacing. He was usually the one who could tell people off because he didn’t like putting up with people’s nonsense whereas you were more soft-spoken.

“Not even about my hair changing colour or my wounds disappearing? Or my wounds turning to black in the rain? Or why was I naked in the first place?” Seunghun asked, almost weary, and the air around you shifted completely. It was icy, rigid and doubtful. Not something that you would have expected from the soldier with the warmest smile.

“Well, we won’t,” you spoke up feebly, trying to appear as confident as you wanted to be. “It may seem odd to us, but since we don’t know why these happened to you, we can’t tell anyone,” you reasoned, and Seunghun let his lips curl into a bittersweet smile. It was a sad little smile, as if he had already had this conversation replayed in his head before he knew what you were about to say.

“That’s exactly why you need to take an oath. You can’t tell anyone what I am because I’m not supposed to be alive. I was killed by those attackers, but I still survived because I’m a phoenix.”

A phoenix. That couldn’t be. Magical creatures didn’t have human forms.

“I’m not even supposed to exist, not in this form, but I still do, and one of the reasons for that is because I’m tied to the magical medic who saved me. I can heal faster and be reborn if the magician’s powers and fireflowers’ effect are combined, but this time, it wasn’t him, it was you who saved me,” he added without batting an eye, and looked straight into your eyes. Your heart literally skipped a beat, and you were frozen in place, your mind shutting off.

“But… we are no magical medics,” Hyunsuk blurted out instead of you, and you were thankful that he did so because you didn’t have the will in you to speak up.

“Or you merely think so,” Seunghun tilted his head, then took a step closer to you. Hyunsuk protectively took a step closer to the soldier, but he got the message and stepped back. “You said my wounds started healing when you started tending to my wounds. If I can get recharged with magic and fireflowers, my wounds heal within minutes, even if they are serious. If you don’t have magic in you, that wouldn't be possible.”

“But I…”

“Didn’t you unconsciously put your hands above my abdominal area? Weren’t you extremely desperate to save me, and suddenly tired after doing so?” Seunghun inquired, and your jaw almost dropped. You had forgotten about weeping over him with your hands resting on his stomach, and that odd sensation going through you followed by waves of fatigue. You didn’t think of it too much, you didn’t think that it had to do with anything, let alone the way his wounds started healing afterwards. You assumed you had been too emotional, and the stranger’s near-death experience had drained you.

You nodded, albeit still in shock, and it was only thanks to Hyunsuk’s collected self that you understood the weight of the soldier’s words.

“You’ve said that you’re tied to the magician who saved you, but this time, it was my sister. So now is she tied to you, too?”

“Yes, she is.”

You felt like the ground had opened up beneath you, the realisations hitting you one by one. The stranger you had saved was not only a phoenix, but you were also a magical medic who was now tied to someone like him - someone who shouldn’t have existed.

After learning about all of these, there was no way Hyunsuk would have stayed behind. Even if he hadn’t been the one who had saved you, he still knew of what Seunghun was, so he needed to take the oath, too. On top of that, the soldier couldn’t exactly tell you what would await you there since the magical medic who had once saved him practised at the royal palace, and it was safer for him there because they were deeply connected. Since you saved him this time, he couldn’t tell what it truly meant because it had never happened before.

“I didn’t die a lot of times before, to be honest, and every time I did, it was Byounggon who helped me heal. Usually, if I die as a human, I can take on my phoenix form and I can fly back to the palace to receive medical help. This time though, I can only assume that I didn’t succeed,” Seunghun explained while you were making your way to the royal palace on horseback. It took around 2 hours to reach the royal palace on horses, but it was the fastest option, and in this area, it wasn’t common to hire carriages. So as always, it was Hyunsuk’s friend, Yonghee, who gave you three of their horses since they had a farm, and he always helped you out in exchange for you not charging him when he or his family needed any medicine from you.

You gulped down a nervous lump in your throat, a bit frightened what it could entail for him to die, then take on his phoenix form and then be reborn again. Since magical creatures didn’t have human forms, it took you time to process the fact that he was a phoenix. He had explained that his parents had died when their house had caught on fire, and he would have died with them too, but Byounggon - who had been a little boy back then just like Seunghun himself and who had been living close to Seunghun’s home - had noticed the fire and dragged the boy out while risking his own life. His magic had barely resurfaced back then, but it had come out in full-force as he had been trying to save Seunghun’s life. Since he hadn’t known at first just how much he could have helped the almost burned boy, he had also applied fireflower on his wounds - the flower that was born after fires, so interestingly so, it was almost like a phoenix, born after turning to ashes.

When you inquired if the combination of magic and fireflowers aided his healing or one was enough, he couldn’t be sure. He said that Byounggon didn’t want to experiment on this, so he always used both, and actually, you did so, too.

“So why were you naked in the woods?” Hyunsuk blurted out after a few minutes of tense silence had fallen over the three of you, and the soldier found it so amusing, he started giggling. You blushed at the thought of having seen him naked while your brother seemed to put on his usual overprotective face.

“Well, that is what comes with me switching between my human and phoenix forms. If I go back to my human form after my phoenix one, I always end up being naked,” he shrugged casually as if it was an everyday thing for him to speak about it. The thought crossed your mind that it must have been quite bothersome for him to always leave his clothes behind when he died, but he didn’t seem to be bothered about it. Instead, his lips turned into a cheeky smile, and he averted his eyes to you, mischief glinting in his beautiful mahogany orbs. “But it wasn’t that bad of a sight, was it?”

You almost choked on your own saliva, but you had more pride than to let him be so cocky around you. Besides, Hyunsuk looked like he was about to throw hands at the soldier, so you spoke up before he had the chance to do so.

“Well, you’re quite fit if that’s what you’re asking… but Hyunsuk is quite strong as well,” you pointed out matter-of-factly, then turned your attention back to the road ahead of you instead of Seunghun’s burning gaze. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction to see you blush, but you were sure that your cheeks were on fire, so you started fanning yourself with one hand while you held the reins in the other.

“Yes, so don’t make her feel so uncomfortable again,” Hyunsuk commented, his voice not leaving room for any disapproval. However, the other boy didn’t seem too fazed by your words or your brother’s slight warning, instead, he continued playing the little game he had started.

“Did I make you feel uncomfortable?” He inquired, his voice posing a challenge for you. You knew that the question was directed at you without looking in his direction, and you shook your head even though your heart was telling a different story. “See, I didn’t.”

“Hey, know who-”

“Enough, Hyunsuk,” you turned to him, trying to plead with your eyes. The last thing you wanted was for the two of them to end up in a fight and show up in front of the royal family with bruises all over their body. “We’re heading towards the palace after all,” you voiced out your reasoning, and despite not appearing less agitated, your brother left it at that with a slight huff and a pointed glare in the soldier’s direction who found the situation more amusing than anything.

Oh dear gosh, you couldn’t wait to arrive at the palace.

Two hours had never seemed so long before. Even though you were on horseback, you had to slow down to march through villages, and you could only speed up through hills and woods. Seunghun continued blabbering all throughout the journey, and you could tell that he was a jokester for he always tried to drop a joke here and there, but Hyunsuk didn’t seem to appreciate it at first. After a while though, he realised that he and the soldier had a similar sense of humour, and if it hadn’t been torture before, it would have been torture afterwards with these two trying to top each other’s jokes. At least, Hyunsuk seemed to let go of his hostility towards the other boy, and they didn’t get into a fight even when you took breaks to feed the horses and let them drink from the river.

You had never been around the royal palace, so you had no idea what to expect, but the palace seemed even more magnificent than you could have imagined. It was a huge building with tall towers scraping the sky, wide terraces and a beautiful, blossoming garden around. However, to get inside, you needed to go through three security gates - one that involved the dragons that guarded the palace. You were lucky that you had left the horses outside the first gate because you were sure that they would have gotten scared and maybe even run away if they had seen the dragons from up-close. You also felt your knees wobble at the sight of these gigantic animals just a few feet away from you. However, when Seunghun discussed the situation with the guards, they whistled at the dragons that immediately backed away and cleared the path for you.

After all the gates, the huge front door had another handful of guards standing by, but they easened up as they caught sight of Seunghun, and had a little chit-chat about where the boy had been before letting him in. One also offered to notify the royal medic that he arrived, but the so-called Byounggon showed up almost immediately when you stepped inside the spacious hall. It was a hall full of paintings, large flower vases, tables made of glass and wood, glass windows that let in the many colours of the setting sun, painting the otherwise blandly coloured carpets in a palette of colours.

“Oh my god, Seunghun! You’re alive! I’ve thought that you… I didn’t feel the connection anymore, and I assumed…” The medic in a beautiful burgundy-black tunic shrieked, fighting his tears as he made his way towards the soldier. When he reached him, he hugged him so tight, you wondered whether they were more than just a soldier and a medic. They seemed like good friends finding each other again.

“You’re crushing me, Byounggon,” Seunghun chuckled joyfully, but no malice could be detected in his voice. The medic hugged him for some more time, and only let go of him when the soldier announced that he was alive thanks to you.

As if it was the first time he had noticed you and Hyunsuk standing beside Seunghun, the medic looked at you apologetically and introduced himself as Lee Byounggon, one of the royal magical medics at the palace (and Seunghun’s best friend as the latter added). He bowed politely and wiped his tears away as he straightened up. You briefly introduced yourselves with your brother and bowed back out of courtesy.

“So you… you know who he is, right?” Byounggon blinked at you rapidly, trying to put together the pieces of information.

“They do. They didn’t know at first, but I’ve told them after they’ve saved me.”

“It was my sister, actually. I just… assisted to look over him,” Hyunsuk corrected the soldier, and the gaze they exchanged told you that they had no more revulsion between the two of them. Hyunsuk’s gesture almost seemed friendly as well, you were more than baffled.

“Ah, thank you so much! Thank you so much for saving him!” Byounggon thanked you profusely and even bowed frantically as if he was trying to overdo someone else in a bowing contest. You were so shocked by his gratitude that you had no idea what to say, but after what you had heard of him - how he had saved Seunghun when he had been young, and how he had taken care of the soldier ever since -, you could only imagine him like this. Forever caring and having only good intentions.

“I… I didn’t even know how I did it,” you confessed, feeling torn about the whole situation because you didn’t feel like you earned his gratitude despite the fact that you had saved the soldier. Byounggon furrowed his eyebrows quizzically, so Seunghun explained the whole situation to him, not leaving out the part that you didn’t know about your own magic. Hearing that, the medic mentioned something about a visit to the master magician, but before he could elaborate on that, a lanky boy walked into the hall with two muscular men by his side.

He had a small face with delicate features, and nothing could compare to the aura he held. He radiated elegance, chicness and that kind of icyness that came with him being in a high rank. As opposed to the guards by his side or Byounggon’s attire, he wore only white - a white tunic that was split in the front, so that he could move around more freely with his arms, it had sleeves for maximum protection, a hooded back and probably cotton pants, though his tunic almost reached the floor, so you couldn’t be sure. He had the deepest shade of black hair, but his eyes were warm when he looked at you all. There was no question that he was prince Jinyoung.

Following the others’ action, you also bowed deeply alongside your brother, but when you straightened up, the previous rigid atmosphere was nowhere to be seen. It was replaced by a tender one with the prince asking about Seunghun’s condition, and telling him how worried they had all been when he hadn’t come back from delivering the message even though the carriageman had arrived the day before, albeit a bit wounded. He was fine, prince Jinyoung reassured Seunghun, before moving on to the two of you.

You introduced yourself yet again, and even your usually confident brother seemed to sway a bit in front of the prince. Prince Jinyoung, sensing his discomfort, patted the boy’s shoulder in a friendly manner, and you watched the sight with a small smile.

“You two will need to take the oath as Seunghun has already told you. However, you will be greatly rewarded for helping out the best soldier of the royal palace, and for saving him even though you did not know his identity,” he announced with an air of authority, and you didn’t feel like you had the right to go against his words despite only doing what you were always doing - helping others. So you bowed yet again, thanking him for his generosity.

“Prince Jinyoung, I believe we need to visit the master magician as well. Do you think it is possible for him to see us as soon as possible?” Byounggon turned to the prince with a slightly worried expression whereas the royal merely waved his hand.

“It is possible if I say so,” he answered confidently and turned around to lead the way to the master magician. Hyunsuk’s jaw almost dropped to the floor, and he mouthed how slick it was from the prince to say something like that, and you had to hold yourself back from laughing at your little brother’s antics.

Seunghun, on the other hand, caught sight of your scene, and when his eyes found yours, he gave you an amused smile, one that made his eyes smile, too. He was too gorgeous, you had to look away.

The master magician repeated what you had already known about Seunghun’s condition, about how he could be reborn, how much it took for him to heal with a magician’s help and how connected he was to the magician who helped him reborn. On the other hand, he couldn’t tell you exactly what it meant that you were the one who had saved him this time, not Byounggon, as it had not happened before. He also added that it would be too dangerous to try and see if you can change the connection back to Byounggon’s magic because it might risk not just Seunghun’s life, but yours and Byounggon’s as well.

Nonetheless, Seunghun’s body had seemed to accept your magic, so now, it seemed that you were the one connected to him, not the royal medic. Byounggon also admitted that he had felt like the connection with the soldier had been caught off two nights ago - on the night you had saved him. Byounggon had fainted and spent the next two days resting, he only sprung out of his room when he had seen from his window that Seunghun had been approaching the entrance.

“Does it mean whenever something happens to Seunghun, I will feel it? Is it the same vice versa?”

“Yes, you may feel it just like Byounggon had described it. Seunghun might feel it too when something happens to you because now your magic lives in him,” the master magician explained patiently, not looking down on you at all, and his gentle approach reassured you that you can ask about anything that might concern you. That’s why you decided to pose a question that has been on your mind ever since Seunghun had mentioned the deep connection between him and Byounggon.

“If, by any chance, I die, does it mean my magic will not keep Seunghun alive?”

The room fell silent for a moment, and out of everyone, Byounggon seemed the most bitter about your question. You could only guess that he had already asked this question before. Seunghun, on the other hand, avoided your gaze, and you had a feeling why.

“It may happen, but I have never seen a magic like this before, so I can’t confirm it for sure,” the master concluded after letting silence stretch long enough for it to be unbearable, his fatherly smile showing empathy and understanding.

You weren’t a fool, you knew what it meant. Above anything else, you needed to take care of yourself and protect yourself because if you didn’t, it might hurt Seunghun, too. Your magic was inside of him, it kept him alive - you kept him alive. No matter how absurd it seemed, his life was in your hands now.

“What does it mean for me then? I can’t tame my magic. I didn’t even know I possessed it until today.”

“It means that it would be better if you stayed here and learned how to tame your magic. In return, we can protect you, and by protecting you, you can also protect Seunghun,” the master suggested, but it wasn’t an order. He looked at you as if he understood your internal battle, and you had a feeling that not even prince Jinyoung would have held you back if you had decided to leave.

You, on the other hand, might not be able to live with the guilt that you could possibly kill Seunghun if you had gotten into any unfortunate incident. It was enough for you to be reminded of how suddenly your parents had died when a fight had broken out at an inn close to your home. One wrong timing, one dangerous man had been enough to take the lives of many.

“What about my brother?” You asked instead of pondering more about your own life. After all, Hyunsuk didn’t show that he had magic in him, or at least not yet, and there was the question of your medical services as well. Who would take that on if you weren’t around?

“It is possible that he might possess magic since he is your brother, but he might not. He can stay here and learn with you, or go back to his usual life while possibly attending one of our training centres.”

You exchanged a glance with Hyunsuk, one that was bearing so many different emotions. The prince reassured you that you didn’t have to decide right then and right now since you still had to take the oath officially and then write a confidentiality contract about it. On the other hand, you seriously felt like time was slipping through your fingers because the more you thought about it, the more quickly the following events happened, and soon enough, you found yourself with a brand new fate.

There was just so much to wrap your head around that you didn’t have time to mope over the recent change of events. Hyunsuk went back home to take care of your medic shop while signing up for a magical training class to see if he possessed the same kind of magic you did. He also sent your clothes over even though you received a handful of clothes by the royal court - similar to those beautifully sewn tunics the medics here worn and other garments that you might have needed as a female. The clothes people wore at the royal court were elegant yet useful, each a bit different from the other depending on the person’s position, however all of them were in the burgundy-black colours of the kingdom. The only ones who could wear white were the members of the royal family.

You immediately began your training with the master magician since you had done something extraordinary that hadn’t happened before, so he wanted to keep a close eye on you. He was an elderly man who had seen a lot and practised his magic a lot, he was said to be the master of the most powerful magicians in the kingdom, so it was an honour to learn under him. Given his responsibilities though, he had to take care of a lot of matters, so you learned from other magicians as well, and you had classes with Byounggon too who helped you understand what it meant to be connected to Seunghun in detail, and what it entailed that the boy was a phoenix.

Byounggon was an exceptionally gentle soul. He might have looked intimidating with his sharp facial features and strict gaze when he was examining something, but he was patient and ever so empathetic. He never raised his voice at you, instead, he shared amusing or quite awkward stories of his time in the court. He also shared many stories of him and Seunghun from early childhood to present days. Based on his words, Seunghun was the most loyal person he had ever met, someone who cared deeply, and someone who had been there for him through thick and thin - and not because of their bond, but because of their friendship. Even though the soldier was witty and liked to pull pranks on poor medic who was self-aware enough to know that he was incredibly gullible, he could never truly hold a grudge against his best friend.

Even though you could only see Seunghun in passing for the next few days since they had to take care of the carriage attack matter, you could see for yourself just what kind of a person he was when he seeked you out one night, asking if you could talk privately.

The royal court was the extended part of the palace, not attached to the main palace, but separated by a back garden that had an area that was free to visit as long as one had the permission to be on the palace grounds in the first place (the other part of it was strictly reserved for the royal family). You didn’t really have time to look around the garden since you had gotten here, but the pitch-black haired boy chose it as the place to talk.

He showed you some of the flowers he found especially gorgeous, took you to the little pond where you could see blindingly beautiful water lilies dotting the surface and hiding many colourful types of fish underneath. There was a little bridge connecting the walking path to a tree-lined island with a lantern-lit pavilion in the middle, and he came to a halt there, sitting on the bench at the pavilion.

You followed his example, taking in the beautiful scenery with fireflies flickering in the distance, the palace lit like a dazzling spectacle, the pathway in the garden dimly lit by lanterns guarding the sights as if it was a hidden gem, a well-kept secret. It was tranquil and serene, away from the hustle-bustle of the court grounds where everyone was heading somewhere - to deliver messages, to take classes or trainings, to hold classes for the royal family, to cook or wash or make anything for the royal family and such.

“I’m sorry,” Seunghun broke the silence suddenly, his voice coming out deeper than before. You could tell that he was being very sincere because there was no hint of mischief in his voice, nor in his face. The boy that looked back at you was deeply apologetic, his shoulders hinged, his features solemn and the ends of his lips quivering as he caught your gaze.

“About what?”

“Everything. You have every right to be angry at me for being tied to you. If I hadn’t-” He started on his monologue, but you cut him off.

“If we hadn’t met and I hadn’t been the one who had found you, you could have died. I am glad that I could save a life. As a medic, that’s the most I can ask for,” you insisted since you saw it from a different point of view, and this was what you had promised to do for life after you had lost your parents.

You had been young back then, sewed at a nearby house alongside your mother, while your brother had been helping out your father hunting in the woods and selling the meat of the animals you hadn’t reserved for yourself. You had always been interested in medicine, and since the woods were close to your home, you had often gone out to pick up herbs and medical flowers to make lotions that were soothing for your mother’s tired hands after a long day of sewing. You had also been the one who tended to your father’s or brother’s bruises whenever they had had any. After you had lost your parents though, you had felt so helpless and kept messing up what you had worked on while sewing, so you had started learning under the nearby elderly medic, and soon, your brother had followed you. After the elderly medic had died, you had opened your own medical services to the nearby people, and it had thrived ever since then.

So for you to be able to save a life was more than you could have asked for, it was the result of your hard-work, added luck and it seemed that your hidden magic, too.

“But still… You must have plans for the future, plans that would take place outside of the palace, and now, it’s best for you to stay here. You might even have a suitor waiting for you back home,” Seunghun blurted out rather troubled, but hearing his last words, your lips curled up at the end. You would have never thought that someone like him would even think of a suitor waiting for you back home, but maybe your brother’s warning words had gotten to him.

“I don’t have a suitor, and Hyunsuk will be fine. He might seem childish at times, but he is really hard-working. Plus, the master said that we can leave the palace, it’s just better if we do so together,” you pointed out what you had learned, your voice rather patient. You didn’t intend on arguing with the soldier, you merely wanted to share your point of view. Since he didn’t seem to believe you thus far, you decided to ease the tension. “I thought you’re on better terms with my brother than before,” you added with a semi-playful smile, and there it was, that beautiful smile blossoming on his lips in return. Seunghun seemed so much more gentle and approachable when he smiled for there was something in it - warmth, compassion, hope or maybe because it felt a bit like solace - that softened his whole facade.

“That’s true, but now I have to make sure that he will like me even more,” he set his intention proudly, still smiling, and you had to look away because the sight in front of you was too much to take in. He was too much to take in, your heart felt oddly giddy beside him, and you didn’t know what to do about it.

Hence, you looked back at the scenery in front of you. While you couldn’t deny that just a week ago, you couldn’t have imagined that you would be living in the royal court, tied to a phoenix in the body of a handsome soldier, it had its own beauty. You believed that everything had its reason, so maybe, meeting Seunghun was the universe’s way of helping you discover your magic that might be able to help many others in the future, and to reassure you that you weren’t doomed forever after your parents had bled out in front of you. You could save a life.

“It’s true that it’s rather sudden, and it’s true that I didn’t think my life would turn out like this, but I know you wouldn’t have tied someone to you on purpose, and actually, you’ve helped me discover my magic. That is something that I consider a gift,” you decided to share your thoughts with Seunghun since you couldn’t tell just how agitated he still was over your bond. “I just… I feel so out of place,” you confessed, a slight hue of pink tinting your cheeks.

You usually liked to uphold a strong, invincible facade because you were the older sibling, and after your parents’ death, you didn’t want Hyunsuk to have anything less than what he might have needed. If not for yourself, you wanted to be strong for him, but here, with you being a new addition to the court, with you still learning about your magic, you felt vulnerable.

“I’ll be here if you need anything, and Byounggon is also a really, really nice guy. Prince Jinyoung and princess Jinhee are also on good terms with those who live in the royal court. Even the courier, Donghyun, is a nice kid. Everyone is really welcoming, so you don’t need to worry. And really, don’t hesitate to send someone for me. I’ll also check up on you whenever I can. I know I couldn’t do so this past week, but I’ll do so in the future. I promise,” he said it in one-go, only taking in a deep breath when he finished. You directed a soft smile at him as you looked back at him, waves of gratitude washing through your body.

“Thank you, but you don’t have to.”

“But I want to. I want to get to know you better, too,” he replied instantly, almost tormented. You were rendered speechless for a moment, and he took that as a bad sign, so he added right away: “If you’re comfortable with that, of course.”

“I am,” you bobbed your head, hoping that your cheeks didn’t flush too much. You thought that after seeing him naked, nothing could make you feel this way around him, but here you were, your heart hammering rapidly, threatening to jump out of your ribcage.

“I’m glad then,” he noted, trying to suppress his proud smile by pressing his lips into a thin line, but he looked like he was trying to hold water in his cheeks instead. You looked away, suddenly aware of the closeness of the boy, and you were secretly glad that he didn’t speak up for some time, but then…

“Besides… Your medic attire here really suits you. It highlights your beauty,” he complimented sincerely, and you almost felt like your neck had whiplash, you looked back at him so quickly. You were ready to tell him to stop joking around, but he looked rather shy, not the smug Seunghun you had expected to see who boasted about the sight of his naked body, so you didn’t have the heart to tell him off. Instead, you mumbled a quiet thank you, earning yet another coy smile from the boy.

You spent the rest of the night talking about your past life. Since you had already known some stories of the boy, it was no surprise that he was interested in you, too. When he heard that you had lost your parents when you had been younger, he seemed deeply empathetic, not making any jokes or belittling your feelings. He did crack up though when you started telling him stories of little Hyunsuk since he had seen more of Hyunsuk’s intimidating self than his silly, goofy self. He also shared stories of him and Byounggon, and how him, Byounggon and prince Jinyoung used to play hide and seek in the royal gardens when they had been younger since the latter had barely any court members his age until Byounggon’s father - a magical medic as well - made the young boy and the rescued Seunghun visit the master magician at the palace. They had been at the palace’s service ever since and living there, but according to Seunghun, neither of them minded. That’s why the prince had seemed friendly towards the two boys when you had first seen them, because they were actual friends.

That night, Seunghun walked you back to your cabin at the royal medic’s house, and after he left, although you failed to notice Byounggon by the corner, he watched your goodbye with a fond, almost excited smile.

You fell into a routine at the royal court, and soon enough, you were looking forward to your training sessions and your weekly visits back home. Even though you were often exhausted after using your magic, you learned bit by bit how to tame it, and it made possessing magic a less terrifying experience. You knew that you were in good hands here, and everyone was trying to help you out as much as they could, so you didn’t want to disappoint anyone. You practised as much as you could, and when you didn’t have training, you helped out with the herbs and non-magical medicine since it was your expertise after all. You also met more members of the royal court, and soon enough, you didn’t feel so out of place anymore. Seunghun was right: everyone from the women working at the kitchen to the courier kid were welcoming, and often, even the prince and princess came to spend time with you all. The royal court was like a little village, so you didn’t feel that stuck anymore either, you had everything you needed there.

You couldn’t deny that you missed Hyunsuk, but with how busy you were at the palace, days passed by eventfully, and your promised weekly visits arrived quickly. Seunghun always accompanied you, and indeed, the two boys became good friends over the course of the next few weeks. Hyunsuk had also become more responsible about his duties, and now, he had Yonghee to help him out who had always seemed interested in medicine, so he could make use of his book-smart medical knowledge now. Yonghee’s family had a farm where he usually did what his parents asked him to do, but he had three siblings, so there was enough help at home, and he had always been too smart to not put his brains to use.

Hyunsuk did go to see if he possessed magic, but they said at the training centre that he might not have or it might not have resurfaced so far even with the exercises they gave him. He wasn’t discouraged by that, after all, he didn’t measure his worth by his ability to have magic within him or not, and for that, you really, really admired him. He could have easily been jealous over your abilities, but he was the furthest from jealous. A know-it-all, he was though…

“Don’t worry about me, sis. Worry about your soldier instead. I’m afraid his eyes will pop out once, he keeps looking at you with those loving eyes,” Hyunsuk once whispered in your ear when you were about to leave and Seunghun already went out to check on the horses. Bewildered, you looked at your brother in disbelief, and smacked him in the chest.

“Hey! Don’t say things like that. It’s not what you think,” you reprimanded him in your usual older sister tone, but as expected, Hyunsuk didn’t even bat an eye. Instead, he boasted a cheeky grin that made him look so much younger than he was.

“You seem to be in too much denial for it to be a groundless assumption,” he singsonged joyfully, but before you could counter-attack him, the door flew open, and Seunghun came back with a giddy smile, letting you know that the horses were ready. When you looked at your brother, he still had that annoying, knowing grin on his face, and shrugged as if he didn’t say anything.

Nevertheless, you tried your best to forget about Hyunsuk’s words, but you couldn’t help but wonder if the soldier felt the same way about you. After all, he kept his promise, and checked on you almost daily, but you assumed that it was out of pity first, or maybe it was because he was connected to you. Byounggon also pointed out that Seunghun kept finding a reason to see you, and he didn’t usually act like this, but according to his best friend, the soldier was in a particularly good mood lately. He was usually upbeat and energetic, but there was something different about him.

“I haven’t seen him like this before, so I can only assume that it’s because of you,” the medic admitted, yet his smile wasn’t cheeky or knowing. It was a gentle, almost prompting smile, one that you reciprocated with a shy one, and diverted the topic to your abilities instead.

The more you thought about it, the more you realised that you cared about the boy, and not just because you were tied to him, not just because he had almost died in front of you. However, you didn’t dare to let him know about your feelings. Even though he wasn’t immortal despite being a phoenix (he aged like everyone else because of his human self whereas he could be reborn because of his phoenix self, but one day, he wouldn’t be able to be reborn again), and when he wasn’t in a dangerous situation when you needed to help him, he was just an ordinary soldier who kept making you blush by the garden pond and who kept making you laugh with his silly pranks on poor Byounggon, you didn’t know whether it could work, whether you would actually put him in more danger by being closer to him than you already were.

Still, he gave you flowers when he visited you, and when you heard a gardener complaining that someone had chopped off some of the flowers in the royal court’s garden, you had to resist the urge to laugh. He loved talking about what your favourite flowers in the garden represented, precious little things he had probably asked someone about, but he presented it as if he had already known about these. He also got you dates and dried fruits from the market when he was doing errands out of the palace since he knew how much you loved them. Even apart from these gifts, he was a man of affectionate acts; it was in every look he gave you when you as much as miscalculated your steps and almost slipped, it was in every hand he held out for you when you were getting off your horse, it was in every enthusiastic wave he directed at you even if you were on different sides of the pond (somehow he always caught sight of you), it was in every spoonful of food he put on your plate instead of his when you had dinner at the court canteen together, and he knew which side dishes were your favourites.

On the other hand, you couldn’t stop worrying about him. You knew that he couldn’t die if you were around, but he was a soldier, and he didn’t need to go far to get bruises or a swollen ankle. He gave it his all during his physical training, and those resulted in some scars that healed fast if tended to by magic, but others couldn’t know about what Seunghun was, so he was usually treated by other magicians apart from you while you were preparing to do so yourself. Byounggon said that it usually took him only a few minutes to heal Seunghun’s smaller wounds whereas the others might have needed more time.

Once though, Seunghun came back from the border covered in bruises when a group of rebels tried to attack the royal army. Since the rebels were good fighters, Seunghun suspected that they were from the neighbouring kingdom’s army, but he couldn’t be sure why (though after the carriage attack, something had to be going on), so they held the rebels as hostages, and they were currently being interrogated.

The soldier, however, was rushed to you by Byounggon who said that you should try to heal him now since the master magician had deemed you ready after you had been already using your magic on others, strictly under a more experienced magician’s watch. This time, too, Byounggon was by your side, and you three were in a smaller room at the royal infirmary. If it hadn’t been for your bond with Seunghun, others could have been around as well, but Byounggon knew the best way to treat Seunghun, so it was better this way.

As you practised, you pulled in all of your magic - that felt like a wave of energy rushing through your body, waiting to be used up -, concentrating on the image of Seunghun’s bruises healing, and put your hands above his core. It wasn’t necessary for you to place your hands over his wounded body part since the centre of his energy was around his abdominal area, and what you needed to do was to recharge his energy centre with your magic. Apparently, that’s what you had done while weeping over him on that fateful night, and similarly, you felt the same kind of desperation moving in you. The room ceased to exist around you, all you could feel was that energy rush transferring through your hands. It was as if you had been running nonstop, your throat burning, your mouth dry and heart beating so rapidly that you needed to catch your breath when you felt a hand over your shoulder.

“Good job! You can stop now,” Byounggon notified you firmly, his voice bringing you back to the present. As you opened your eyes, you tried to take in everything in the room to ground yourself, awakening all your senses; the smell of the freshly washed sheets under Seunghun’s body on the bed, the softness of the pillow under you in the chair, the warmth of Byounggon’s hands over your shoulders, the sight of Seunghun’s now intact skin, and the sound of the slight hustle-bustle in the corridor outside of the room.

“Thank you. Thank you so much,” Seunghun smiled at you affectionately, his eyes twinkling with mirth. You, on the other hand, felt a bit numb still, and as you were trying to stand up from the chair, you nearly lost your balance. If it hadn’t been for Seunghun’s firm grip on you, you might have fallen back. “Are you okay?” The soldier inquired, genuine worry causing his forehead to appear wrinkled. You had never seen him so concerned before, and the way he looked at you as if he was ready to walk through fire for you made you feel even more dizzy.

“Yes, I’m fine,” you nodded nevertheless, but didn’t go against the other medic’s advice when he suggested sitting back down. As you took a seat again, Seunghun’s grip loosened around your wrist, but he still didn’t let go. You didn’t mind. It was as if he was your anchor, and you were ready to let him ground you.

“It’s normal for you to feel everything more intensively when it comes to Seunghun. It’ll get better after the first few times,” Byounggon explained with a hint of empathy in his voice. No wonder you had slept so well the night of saving Seunghun. You had basically knocked yourself out back then. “I’ll bring some water for you,” Byounggon offered without you asking him to do anything, and left the room immediately.

You blinked a few more times, the dizziness slowly losing its grip on you. Soon, everything shifted back to place around you, yet you weren’t worried about yourself. Instead, you kept looking at Seunghun’s exposed arms and face to examine if there were remains of his bruises or there was none left.

“Why are you so worried? You can see that I’m fine,” the boy mentioned with a wide, toothy smile, and he looked down at himself to prove to you that you weren’t hallucinating. He looked as if he hadn’t been attacked at all.

“I know, I just… I can’t help but worry about you. Despite knowing that you can’t get seriously hurt, it’s still painful for you until someone tends to you, and I don’t like that,” you huffed, your lips forming a pout unbeknownst to you. Seeing that, Seunghun let out a joyous laughter, something that warmed your heart, yet confused your mind.

You finally looked up at him, looked into his deep, dark orbs, and blinked a few in confusion.

“You’re cute when you’re sulky,” he explained the cause of his laughter, a smile blossoming on his lips yet again. You felt bewitched when he smiled like that, and you were sure that your cheeks were turning ruby-red, so you switched on your defensive mode.

“I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not.”

The more you bickered, the wider the boy’s smile got, and the faster your heart was beating. You felt like a kid again, that childish excitement yet nervousness that you experienced when you had been playing hide and seek with Hyunsuk in the woods. This time, it was also a bit like that; trying to hide your feelings while seeking out his reaction to see if he felt the same way.

While you were bickering, Seunghun leaned forward a bit each time he spoke up and so did you. So after a few rounds, your faces were so close that you could see the slight blemishes on his skin, the roughness around the edges, the imperfections that made him perfect. You could see a tiny version of you in his mahogany orbs, and you wondered how he actually perceived you.

You kept gazing at each other for a few seconds before the boy dared to speak up, quiet and tentative, yet there was that confident edge to his voice that told you that he really wished to know the answer to his question.

“Why are you actually worried about me?”

You gulped nervously. He was too good at reading you, it seemed. Something that you would have hated if it had been for someone else since you wanted to appear as strong as possible at all times to hide your vulnerabilities and pain, but it was him out of all people, and he knew more about you than anyone else apart from Hyunsuk. Plus, he hadn’t left or ignored you despite knowing about your past and despite seeing your weaknesses.

So you wanted to be honest with him.

“I… I think I’ve gotten used to worrying only about Hyunsuk after what happened to our parents, and I was fine with that, but when it comes to you, since the moment I saw you, I’ve been worried,” the flashback of seeing the boy covered in bruises and that huge cut on his abdomen came back, and you shivered. You noticed only then that Seunghun was still holding your wrist because he gave it a slight squeeze. “Then, I got to know about who you are, and that we are tied, and I actually felt relieved. I thought I saved you once, I can do so again, but now I’m scared. I’m scared because I know I’m worried for another reason.”

The confession fell from your lips almost easily, like a part of a lullaby that you were singing to him. He was nothing but caring towards you, and since Byounggon had also mentioned that he had never seen his best friend like this before (and Hyunsuk had also teased you about Seunghun’s heart eyes), you dared to guess that he reciprocated your feelings. Not to mention the way the boy worded his question, as if he was also trying to see if you felt the same way.

And now… Now when your faces were so close to each other’s, when you could see every crease, every twitch of his lips, every shift of the emotions crossing his face, something in you told you that Seunghun didn’t lean back for the same reason you didn’t.

When he leaned forward, ever so subtle and ever so slow as if he wanted to give you time to back away (though you wouldn’t), you prepared your heart for what was about to come, your eyes slowly closing.

However, the door flew open right in that moment, and you immediately leaned back into the chair whereas Seunghun put his arms behind him on the bed to support himself, increasing the distance between you two quite drastically.

“Sorry for the wait. Mrs Choi stopped to tell me about the letter she received today, so I couldn’t leave until she told me all about her grandchildren,” Byounggon chirped rather bashfully as he put a jug of water on the bedside table and poured you a glass of water before reaching it out to you.

“It must have been exciting,” Seunghun noted rather forcefully, but his slightly awkward smile went unnoticed by his best friend.

“You know how she is. You can’t escape from her once she starts talking.”

“Yes, you’re right,” you mumbled after taking a few sips of water, knowing the elderly woman at the canteen all too well. However, when you exchanged a glance with the soldier, you could see that he was rather embarrassed about the situation as well, so he directed an apologetic smile at you. You smiled back, albeit a bit coy, and let the other medic tell you all about the stories he had heard.

After your rather intimate moment at the infirmary, nothing changed, except the fact that during random times of the day, the image of his face being so close to yours came back, and you immediately flushed. You couldn’t do anything about the state of your heart either, it went crazy whenever Seunghun was around. Before, you had never as much as dared to think about loving someone so deeply apart from Hyunsuk, let alone letting others love you. You had steeled yourself because the less people you had close to your heart, the less painful it would be to lose them.

However, even since you had entered the royal court, you had become so intertwined with other’s lives, there was no turning back from here. You became friends with the maids, the couriers, the ladies working at the kitchen, Byounggon and the other magicians, and even princess Jinhee. Seunghun, however, was a totally different story because you weren’t just friends, you knew that. You could feel it in your bones now; after the infirmary, you couldn’t go back to how things had been before, it was just a matter of time before you fully gave in to your emotions, and you both feared that moment and waited for it to happen.

In the meantime, you went on your usual evening strolls when the weather and your duties allowed, Hyunsuk visited you one weekend to bring over some night-blooming flower lotion and some home-made kimchi from Yonghee (who had been nothing but grateful for the opportunity to work with his friend), and then, you went home for the weekend with Seunghun. In the beginning, you had felt like it would be a burden for the soldier to come with you since there was only a slim chance that anything could happen to you, let alone you losing your life. However, after a while, you had realised that he would have been more bothered by the fact that he couldn’t have accompanied you, so you let go of this concern.

Usually, you left the palace early in the morning and came back later at night, but this time, Hyunsuk and Seunghun got way too competitive when it came to a round of children’s games, and kept competing until you told them that it was time to leave. Your suggestion wasn’t approved by either of them, so you gave in to staying for the night. Once they had enough of the games, Hyunsuk washed up first, then Seunghun (who was given Hyunsuk’s clothes yet again to sleep in something clean), and after that, it was your turn.

However, when you came out of the washroom in your nightgown and wished goodnight for both of the boys who had agreed on sleeping together in Hyunsuk’s room, your brother closed the door on himself and locked it from the inside.

“Wait! I thought Seunghun would be sleeping in your room,” you shouted after him after exchanging a puzzled glance with the soldier. You could imagine Hyunsuk leaving you without a reply, but at least he shouted back:

“Not a chance. He’s all yours.”

You didn’t know what to do with your little brother’s sudden behaviour, but you tried to make it as casual as possible when you suggested different options for Seunghun. The jet-black-haired boy couldn’t accept your offer of staying in your room on a mattress beside your bed. Instead, he brought the mattress out of the storage room to the living room, beside the fireplace. He even cracked a joke about that particular spot being familiar since Hyunsuk had told him about how he had been placed there when your brother had walked into the house on the night you had met.

You bid your goodbye to Seunghun afterwards who singsonged a goodnight to you, and you headed back to your room with butterflies in your stomach. Sleep didn’t even come to you easily, and you kept tossing and turning in bed until you had to use the restroom. You tried to be as quiet as possible because the restroom was on the other side of the living room, meaning that you had to cross the living room to get there. Seunghun, however, was with his back to you when you walked past him, so you assumed that he was sleeping.

Nevertheless, when you were about to walk back to your room, you noticed him turning towards you.

“I’m sorry. Was I too loud?” You whispered tentatively, halting in your steps. The boy shook his head, a gentle smile forming on his lips. He didn’t seem weary, there was no sleep in his eyes, so you believed that he was telling the truth.

“Not at all. I couldn’t sleep either way.”

“Are you uncomfortable?”

“No,” he shook his head yet again before you could think of making adjustments in case he was uncomfortable beside the fireplace.

You bobbed your head as you received his answer, unsure what to say. You felt like you could just sit beside him and talk for hours just like you did during your night strolls at the court, but you weren’t sure that it was the time or place for that. Before you could overthink the matter though, Seunghun broke the momentary silence.

“Actually, I have something to say,” he announced confidently, waiting for you to potentially go against his words if you wanted. Since you were all ears, you prompted him to go on as you lowered yourself onto his mattress, so that you could be at eye-level with him. He also pushed himself up into a sitting position, so you were face-to-face, just like at the infirmary.

“I pressed you about being worried about me because I feared that you might feel like you have to do so. Because of our bond, you know. I don’t want you to feel like you must do something because of me. And I had this silly thought too… That you might like me, but you feel like you have to because of the fact that we are tied.”

Your heart skipped a beat when the word ‘like’ rolled off his tongue. His voice was tender, his words even more so, and the look he gave you was nothing but affectionate. Still, there was a hint of doubt in his orbs, the seed of uncertainty planted in his features from his tensed shoulders to the way he fumbled with the ends of the blanket in his hands. This moment, of him being so raw and concerned and uncertain, scared you a bit for you had never seen him in such a state. This moment was like a glass bead that could break if you were hasty with your answer or if you didn’t word yourself right.

“Do you only care about me because of our bond?” You tested the waters, not taking your eyes off him. He seemed a bit taken aback by your question; not hurt, but instead, bewildered that you would have ever dared to assume such a thing.

“No. That’s so not true.” He shook his head fervently, many different emotions crossing the sky of his orbs. He might not have realised why you asked about this out of the blue, but his shoulders easened when your lips curled into an understanding smile.

“It’s the same for me,” you reassured him first things first. You wanted to tell him all about your feelings so badly, but you needed to pluck up your courage. Instead, you reached for his hands first. He was reluctant to let go of the blanket he was still toying with, but when you peeled his fingers off the material, he let you hold onto him just like you had let him hold onto you at the infirmary. He looked down at your hands for a moment before looking up at you again, and there it was, his signature tender smile that you loved so much.

As if it was the one thing that prompted you to speak up, you found yourself delivering your confession; by the crackling fireplace, over your intertwined fingers and through the rapid beating of your heart.

“I like you, Seunghun. Not the one I’m tied to, but the soldier who’s loyal to his friends, who would do anything to make others around him happy, and who always remembers every little thing about me. I like you for who you are, not what you are,” you emphasised, squeezing his hand in the meantime.

Seunghun looked at you as if he had looked at you for the first time. He didn’t move for a few seconds as if he was still trying to process what you had just said, but then, he didn’t hesitate. He leaned forward to continue what he had started back at the infirmary, and you didn’t protest. You kept looking into his warm, mahogany eyes, swimming in them, drowning in them, letting the waves crash over you as his lips touched yours. Your eyelids shut unconsciously, and for a moment, there was only him, only you, only him and you.

You felt Seunghun lean back from the kiss, and you opened your eyes to see a fully blossomed smile tinting his plush lips. He seemed radiant like the first ray of sunshine in the morning after a stormy night, and your heart felt warm just by the sight. You would have never thought you would be the one to make him so happy one day because he gave away so much of himself to others, but you were delighted and a bit shy that you could make him beam like that.

“Gosh, I like you so much,” Seunghun exclaimed, his voice and face and heart full of love as he crushed you into a hug, and kept you in his arms tightly. You felt yourself melting into his embrace, feeling safe and sound, vulnerable and well-protected at the same time.

You were in such an ecstatic state that you were only made aware of your surroundings when you heard a key turning, and in a blink of an eye, Hyunsuk opened the door of his room just to lean towards the door frame, eyeing you two hugging each other.

“It was time,” he grumbled, but there was a mischievous smile in the corner of his lips, so you could tell that his annoyance was fake. You knew him enough to know very well that he had seen it coming.

“Did you hear everything?” You guessed frantically as you let go of each other with the soldier to turn towards your brother. Nonetheless, your fingers were still intertwined.

“Yes, so now that’s done, don’t be too loud. I want to have a peaceful sleep,” he semi-warned you, but there was still that cheeky smile on his lips.

Once Hyunsuk went back to his room again, you exchanged a glance with Seunghun, only to start giggling. Then, you felt his arms around you yet again, and you eased into his touch, his warmth already familiar despite it being so new still.

“This feels like a dream,” the boy sighed into the embrace, and you could only share his sentiment. This really did feel like a dream, the best kind, that made your heart flutter and your cheeks flush. On the other hand, it was your here and now, and you weren’t ready to let go of it anytime soon.

“Hopefully, it won’t end soon.”

“It won’t,” Seunghun insisted, newfound confidence lacing his words. “We’ll keep on dreaming together for a long, long, long, long time,” he emphasised quite playfully, but when he let go of you, and you looked into each other’s eyes again, you knew that he was being serious.

“I can’t wait.”

“Me neither,” he replied, albeit a bit coyly, and you giggled yet again. It really felt like a dream you didn’t want to wake up from, it was so warm, so comforting, so hopeful.

You might have been the one to save Seunghun on that fateful night, to forever seal your fate together, but you felt like he had saved you, too. He was your phoenix that rose from the ashes despite the hardships life had thrown at him ever since he had been really young, and you were his fireflower; growing from even the toughest grounds through the toughest circumstances and blooming for him, only him.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed the twist with Seunghun’s phoenix form. Since phoenixes are usually red and gold, the idea came to my mind seeing his red hair that he should have red hair in his phoenix form, and when he turns to ashes and reborns as a human, his hair turns back to pitch-black. That was basically where it evolved form. I don’t write a lot of fantasies, so let me know if you have any questions regarding the fantasy world in the story. 🥰

All in all, I hope you enjoyed the story! Thank you so much for reading it! ❤️

If you want to read more stories of mine, let it be for CIX or for other bands, consider signing up for my taglist here.

Since I’ve gotten quite attached to the side characters in the story, I have some possible spin-off ideas.

VOTE FOR SPIN-OFFS HERE!

#cix #seunghun #cix imagines #cix scenarios #seunghun imagines #seunghun scenarios #cix x reader #cix x you #cix fluff #seunghun fluff #cix fantasy #seunghun fantasy #kim seunghun scenarios #kim seunghun imagines #kim seunghun x reader #kim seunghun x you

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keykeylocke · 2 years

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I really want to see kpop concert in Japan. I love so many Japanese kpop songs. Wanted by Monsta X, Crystal Snow by BTS, All For You by CIX.

I have never traveled outside of my state for a concert, but it would be a cool trip.

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minhoskofi · 3 months

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chapter 4: in and out

warnings: smut :)

word count: 1.3k

masterlist

As the months passed, you and Byounggon continued to grow closer, your bond deepening with each day. The unspoken understanding between you felt so natural, and you reveled in the comfort and joy that came with being by his side.

However, there was a question that you couldn’t get off your mind. Despite the undeniable connection and the way you both already acted like a couple, there had never been an official conversation about your relationship. It wasn't that you doubted Byounggon’s feelings or commitment, but the absence of a clear definition left you longing for something more concrete.

One afternoon, as you lay on the couch behind Gon in his music studio, the question burned in your chest. Unable to contain your thoughts any longer, you mustered the courage to confront him, seeking clarity about where you both stood.

"Goni?”, you began hesitantly, “We've been together for months now, and I can't help but wonder... What exactly are we? Are we...like, a couple?"

Byounggon turned to face you, confusion evident in his eyes. He got up from his desk, coming to stand in front of you. He gently placed his hands on your thighs, his face hovering just inches from yours, his warm breath caressing your skin.

His voice sounded sincere, "Sorry if I never made it clear. It didn't even cross my mind because being with you feels so right, so natural. But if you need that official label, then…"

Without another word, Gon leaned in, capturing your lips in an ever so passionate kiss. His hands moved from your thighs to cradle your face, deepening the kiss, as if trying to convey all the emotions that words could not express.

The question of your relationship status faded into insignificance. The intensity of the kiss and the way your man held you spoke loud enough about the depth of your connection.

As the kiss broke, Byounggon with a shy yet endearing smile, found the courage to speak, "Well…I mean, if you want... could you, uh… will you officially be my girlfriend?", he rapped out the last few words and buried his face in the crook of your neck in embarrassment.

You couldn't help but smile at his adorable shyness, and with a soft chuckle, you replied, "Yes, Gon, I'd love to officially be your girlfriend.", almost mockingly.

As Byounggon immersed himself in the creation of his track again, the rhythmic beats and melodies filled the air, leaving you with a boredom that begged for distraction.

Deciding to entertain yourself and perhaps add a playful interruption to his creative process, you approached him.

Teasingly, you traced light patterns on his back, the gentle touch breaking through the intensity of his focus. Leaving a trail of seductive kisses along his neck and jawline, you couldn't help but revel in the warmth of his skin beneath your lips.

Byounggon, feeling the unexpected caresses, found himself torn between two thoughts, “Is this how you show me your support or are you trying to turn me on… because it’s working.”

But as your advances persisted his concentration reached a breaking point. With a mischievous glimmer in your eyes, your fingers deftly played with the buckle of his belt, the metallic clasp yielding to your touch. The sound of the buckle coming undone echoed in the room.

“So that’s how we’re playing…” Unable to resist any longer, Byounggon seized control of the situation. He turned away from his laptop, and captured your lips in a fierce and demanding kiss.

With every kiss, every touch, the intensity grew and your hands roamed freely over each other's bodies, exploring every curve and crevice with a feverish urgency, “Was this what you wanted?” Byounggon managed to mutter in between your lips.

Without giving him a verbal answer, your fingers reached for the hem of your shirt, slowly inching it upwards, revealing tantalizing glimpses of your bare skin.

Gon's gaze intensified, his breath hitching as he watched the fabric slide over your chest, exposing the curve of your breasts. As your shirt fell to the floor, Byounggon wasted no time. His hands moved with a sense of purpose, his fingers tracing the outline of your body, sending shivers of anticipation down your spine. He unhooked your bra, releasing your breasts, and the cool air caressed your skin.

With a hunger in his eyes, Gon's hands moved lower, his fingers undoing the button of your pants. The fabric slid down your legs, pooling around your ankles, leaving you standing there in nothing but lacy panties.

A playful smile danced on your lips as you reached for Byounggon's shirt, your fingers eagerly unbuttoning it one by one. The fabric parted, revealing his chest.

Your hands roamed his bare skin, tracing muscles, feeling the warmth radiating from his body and you pushed the shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the ground, forgotten.

Byounggon's hands now found their way to your hips. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties, tugging them down slowly, his eyes never leaving yours, “Fuck me silly, Gon”, the words fall out of your mouth before you could stop them.

“Patience, princess. Not before I taste you first”, Byounggon spoke against your skin as his mouth left gentle kisses down your core. The tip of his tongue lingered, drawing slow, sensuous circles over your clit, each rotation sending ripples of pleasure coursing through your body. His touch was deliberate and precise, building your arousal to dizzying heights.

As the circles tightened, his tongue applied a gentle but persistent pressure, intensifying the stimulation on your clit. Waves of pleasure washed over you, making your body arch and writhe with an insatiable hunger for more.

“You’re so fucking wet for me”, Byounggon's tongue moved in a rhythm that matched the quickening pace of your breath and the growing urgency of your moans.

As his tongue delved deeper, you felt the waves of pleasure crashing over you, building with every flick and every swirl. Your moans of ecstasy filled the room and the wet heat of his mouth enveloped you, “Please Gon, I need you inside me”, you breathed out, your voice filled with a desperate longing.

The words hung in the air, Byounggon’s gaze met yours, a wild intensity burning in his eyes as he settled himself between your legs, his hands gripping your hips possessively.

"Be a good girl now," he whispered, his voice laced with a mixture of raw need and determination.

As he slid impatiently into you, a gasp escaped your lips, the sensation of him filling you completely sent waves of pleasure throughout your body. You wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer, urging him to go deeper.

“Shit, Goni-”, almost inaudible words spill from your lips. Each thrust was pushing you closer to the edge.

"Fuck,” Byounggon groaned, “you feel so good," he kept sliding in and out of you while leaving sloppy kisses along your jawline down your neck, the tightness of you just perfect to his liking.

Your moans mingled with his, creating a symphony of pleasure that filled the studio. "Harder," you pleaded, your voice filled with urgency, "I want all of you." Byounggon complied, his movements becoming more intense and fervent.

"Gon, I'm so close," you whimpered desperately.

"Let go, baby," he encouraged, "Come for me."

Your grip on him tightened, your walls squeezing him so intensely that he too could no longer hold back. With a final, powerful thrust, he succumbed to the overwhelming pleasure, finding release within you.

The room filled with breathless moans of satisfaction. As you both came down from , your orgasms, your bodies still intertwined, Byounggon's voice filled the air. "That was incredible," he murmured, "I can't get enough of you."

previous chapter next: chapter 5

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qiankunslove · 2 years

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some cix smut, or a slight nsfw recommendation please :=(

#cix jinyoung #cix hard hours #cix imagines #cix seunghun #cix yonghee #cix bx #cix hyunsuk #cix smut #kpop x y/n #kpop smut #kpop x you #kpop x reader

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koqabear · 10 months

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「 Camera Shy 」

♫: Automatic, Red Velvet // Movie Star, CIX // Color Me, JUNNY // Kitty Cat, KISS OF LIFE

“You’ve always tried to live an honest and responsible life; never spending money on anything ridiculous, scoffing at the things other people would be so willing to drop their paycheck on. But when life gets hard, you’re bound to give into your guilty pleasures, right?”

camboy!Beomgyu x fem!reader

Genre: f2l, smut, pw/minimal plot

Word count: 14.4K (there’s like three different smut scenes here)

Warnings: gyu has a thing for glasses idk don’t question me, (mc wears glasses, not necessarily prescription), gyu is lowkey manipulative if u squint, slight possessiveness on his part? nothing toxic (i think), alcohol consumption, gyu has a tattoo..

smut warnings: gyu is a bit of a perv! mean dom!Beomgyu, sub!mc, masturbation (f&m), filmed sex, (consensual), dirty talk, degrading, use of toys (f&m rec.), exhibitionism, voyeurism technically, bit of a voice/hand kink? slight humiliation kink, mentions of safe words & subspace, mentions of squirting lmao, manhandling, spanking, pet names (princess, baby, etc.), fingering, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, marking, dry humping, handcuffing, biting, unprotected sex, dumbification, dacryphilia, creampie (lmk if i should add anything!)

Notes: lemme tell you. i wrote abt the tattoo before i stumbled upon that pic, when i tell you i was just ??? barely proof-read heehee. the thought of this au hit me like a that-so-raven vision, and I literally spent the whole day making sure I could finish this. enjoy bc i love camboy aus sm. (oh and pls, do me a favor and reblog— i have an ominous feeling about what’ll happen to this fic once i post it.)

Beomgyu has always found the idea of his work a bit ridiculous.

Day by day, he’s a normal college student— he spends his early mornings in classes, taking all the morning slots everyone was always reluctant to enroll in before he went off to work; he was known as that cute server amongst the women that visited the restaurant he worked at, able to upsell and gain tips with ease as he quickly became a favorite amongst his coworkers.

He liked the attention— of course he did, he needed to in order to thrive in the field of his actual job, his hours at the restaurant nothing but a side hustle compared to the hundreds he could make of a single stream.

Those hundreds could always breach into the thousands— but those were on especially good days, like his annual Valentine’s Day stream he always held for his lonely, single viewers.

Beomgyu was quite the sweet talker— he got the practice from his day-to-day shifts, watching girls his age and older fawn at his words and flutter their eyes playfully. It was clear they enjoyed the attention just as much as he did, a cute smile on his face as he faked a shy laugh whenever they would compliment him.

Your hair looks really nice today. You smell amazing. Do you work out? You have a really nice voice.

He got that last compliment a lot.

“Do I?” he would purr, a sultry smile crawling on his face each time, like a practiced action as he would tilt his head teasingly— the reaction would be positive each time, without fail, and he would always end up with a collection of napkins with scrawled phone numbers every time he would clock out— his coworkers would poke fun at him every time they watched him dump them all out apathetically.

You weren’t into that one person? Dude, the lady at table seven was so fucking hot.

Beomgyu never really paid mind to their teasing— he could care less for the men and women that tried to butter him up during his shifts, forced to act as though their shameless flirting didn’t make his stomach twist unpleasantly— instead, he would be forced to smile, laughing sheepishly before he would slip away with one last comment.

“I’m flattered, really— but, I have someone I’m interested in.”

That someone was you— the pretty girl that sat across from him during his ten am lecture, finding himself spacing out every time and staring off into your direction; though you never seemed to notice, much too caught up in taking notes as he watched the way your brows would furrow, biting at your lip and adjusting your glasses as you remained focused— whether those glasses were for reading, blue light, prescription, or even decoration, he didn’t care— all he cared about was how unnecessarily attractive you looked in them.

He thought about you more than he liked to admit— it was frustrating at first, his thoughts starting as nothing more than puppy love to something worse— it was only after you piqued his interest that he began streaming more.

This was both a good and bad thing; good because, well, he began to climb the ranks of popularity and earn more, but bad because he would find himself thinking of you. Each. And every. Time.

“Wish I could fuck you,” he would sigh out, his comments going too fast for him to keep up with as his eyes fluttered shut; leaning back against his headboard, he shifts, making sure everything but his lips remain out of frame before he’s back to closing his eyes, “would you let me make you feel good? God, I’d do anything just to feel you, taste you…”

As far as his audience knows, he’s speaking to them— the comments grow wild and tips flood in, all asking him to stop being a tease as they watch the way he palms himself through his sweatpants; grabbing at his length, stroking it slowly as he lets his imagination run wild.

He’s not wearing boxers; Beomgyu knows it drives his viewers mad, able to see as a wet spot begins to form on the light material, his tip leaking furiously as his other hand tugs the hem of his sweater over his chest— his vision is hazy as he reads the requests, laughing softly as he allows his fingers to trace along his chest absentmindedly— tracing over the muscle of his abdomen, circling his nipples slowly as he reads a comment under his breath.

Stop teasing and hurry up already !! >///<

The comment has him rolling his eyes— yet his usual tippers begin to request the same thing, and his hand is slowly tugging at the tied strings of his pants as he smiles, mocking and mean as he bites his lip.

“Hurry up? You want to command me while you’re over here throwing money at me like a whore? All just to watch me fuck myself, dreaming that it could be you?”

The comments start speeding up; it’s all a blur to him, but the sound of money coming in is enough to tell him that his usual audience is active again.

“Pathetic,” he sighs, his voice deep and grumbly as he reads over the requests that come in with the money: yes, i wish it were me there… please, can we see your cock?

“Desperate little sluts,” Beomgyu hums, tugging his waistband down and allowing his cock to spring up; it smacks against his stomach, and though the people in his comments attempt to regain his attention with dirty words and useless requests, he knows it’s all because of you— guiltily, he finds his thoughts straying the moment his hand wraps around his cock.

His streams have a certain formula to them; the more money, the better the show. Which is exactly why he ends up kneeling in front of the camera, fucking his cock into a clear flashlight as he listens to the sounds of tips coming in left and right— but his eyes remained shut, spilling enough filth to have his audience satisfied as he allows to let his imagination run wild.

In every stream, he cums to the thought of you; he has to bite his lip to not moan out your name like a pathetic bitch in heat, flooding his fleshlight with cum and continuing to fuck into it until his next orgasm.

In every stream, he finds himself thinking the same thought at least once— do you watch his streams?

»»»

The concept of camboys is ridiculous to you.

Why in the world would you spend all your money and emotions on a single person, when you can just go on Twitter and find the next best account that has yet to be suspended? Well, it’s not as though you find the idea of sex work appalling, but you don’t think you’d ever feel good about yourself spending a hard-earned paycheck because you were horny.

You’re not stupid; you know sex workers make bank, and you know that there are people in the world that love emptying out their bank accounts to such workers; whether it’s due to a kink or to feed into their parasocial relationship, you’re not sure.

You find that a good session on Twitter and your fingers usually does the trick— maybe a toy or two, if you find yourself feeling that needy.

Today’s session quickly becomes both disappointing and humbling; every account you try to look for has either been suspended or deleted, and every video you come across is something that’s not to your taste or something you’ve seen many, many times.

You feel weak as you come across the same account again; guiltypleasures— and he’s damn right, because you’re unable to resist the urge to click on his icon, feeling your thighs rub together with impatience as you sit back in bed— scrolling through, you’re surprised to see that he’s posted another video— without a second thought, you’re watching it.

“Fucking pathetic,” he sighs out, the familiar growled phrase making you gulp; you never found yourself to be too attracted to men who are extremely dominating and mean, but the man on your screen is somehow able to make it work as you find yourself getting wetter, “are you touching yourself right now? Don’t you wish I was there with you?”

And shit, you think you know why he’s able to make you come back to him every time, even if he’s posted nothing new and you’re forced to rewatch old videos most of the time; maybe it’s because of his hands, delicate and thin as they wrap around his favorite pocket pussy, or maybe it’s the way he slowly fucks into the said toy; stretching it out, his tip poking out and oozing enough cum that you can hear the wet squelching sounds that come from every thrust.

Or maybe, it’s his voice, deep and breathy and addicting as he mumbles out filthy things like it’s the only thing he knew how to do; his lips are red and swollen as he groans, hissing through his teeth as you watch the way his hands tighten around his toy.

“Shit, I’d fuck you so good,” he sighs out, hips rutting into the toy in his hands as he laughs; his head tilts, and though you’re only able to see his lips, you know his eyes are teasing as he looks into the camera, “fuck you so that you’d never want anyone else but me.”

His thrusts are picking up— you didn’t even realize the moment you began touching yourself, embarrassing whimpers and breaths falling from your lips as you keep your eyes honed in on his motions; you’re close, so close, your ministration speeding up as you fight to keep your eyes open.

“You’d be my good little cumdump, just for me to use— right?”

The video ends shortly after.

God damn it! your mind screams, the sudden cut-off catching you so off guard that you completely ruined your orgasm; you feel insanely embarrassed by how frustrated you feel, not realizing how short the clip he posted was until now. Clicking away, you feel as though your mood is ruined as you read the contents of his tweet.

A small clip from the stream. Watch the rest here: https://…..

Shit. Of course he would be a camboy. How did you not realize this sooner?

Honestly, if you sounded like that, you would be one too— and frustratingly enough, the brief cutoff is a damn good marketing strategy, because after a moment of thought, you’re clicking on the link.

You could just rewatch the video— you could also just go rewatch his previous videos, or even use your imagination to help you finish— but the idea of doing so is much more unpleasant than usual. (And humiliating, because you’ve found with horror that you’ve begun to memorize how his previous, equally as short, clips go.)

Your resolve begins to weaken the moment you click on his page— because of course, everything costs money— It costs to see his previous streams, costs to message him, and costs to get a fucking membership.

Who is paying for all this?!

You, apparently— because after some serious, slightly horny-impaired thought, you decide that getting a low-tier membership wouldn’t be too bad, right?

The cost is monthly (because of course it is, this website seems to want to charge you for just looking at his page) and you wince slightly as you watch your transaction go through.

Once you see the notification of your purchase pop up on your phone, you feel dreadfully sobered.

Because shit, being a low-tier subscriber only gets you a part of his most recent streams— about less than half of it, you notice— only able to get full access to streams prior to this month. It’s enough for now, but you can’t help but feel as though you’ve become the very thing you’ve despised as you lay back in your bed, staring at your ceiling for a moment before you’re sighing.

You’re still horny.

»»»

You think you can get behind the whole camboy thing. One may say you’ve been swayed, and quite honestly, you don’t think you could dispel such claims at this point.

Because it’s been a few months, and you’ve managed to stay through the whole thing. You’re surprised that you’ve begun to keep his streaming times in mind as you go about your day, ending your study sessions early or wondering if you’ll get home from work in time to watch his streams.

You always do. Maybe it’s a deity above making sure you get your money’s worth, or maybe it’s the fact that guiltypleasures is a human too, with a normal life and better shit to do than sit in front of a camera and jerk off all day.

The idea of following in his footsteps has crossed your mind more often than you expected; anything would be better than being a hostess at this god-awful job you have, forced to sit through the way people take out their anger on you and proceed to flirt with the servers— one of those servers being Beomgyu.

You were able to realize how popular Beomgyu was after your second shift— it didn’t take a genius to figure out why as you were left to deal with the way women of your age and older (mostly older. So many older women.) would creep up to you shyly, putting up a front of innocence as they asked you is Beomgyu here today? Could we sit in his area, please?

Seeing him rack up tips after a busy shift is always enough to have you wondering if you should switch to being a server— but then you see the way the women are treated, your stomach flipping in disgust at the way men leer and comment at them— you’ve even seen Beomgyu get cursed at plenty of times as well, shivering at the jealous partners and the way they’ve been blacklisted for threatening him.

Tonight is one of those nights. You’ve clocked out, shrugging on your jacket and gathering your belongings when you see Beomgyu storm in through the employee entrance; you don’t think you’ve ever seen him angry, but the sight has your eyes widening as you watch the way he frowns at his uniform, cursing angrily under his breath as he approaches the break table you stand by.

“Fuck,” he hisses, low and breathy and mean as he continues complaining, berating the customer that had the audacity to throw their drink at him— but you, in your very depraved state, remain stuck on the way he sounds, his voice far too attractive for a person who is spouting out filth.

This feels familiar.

“Hey, you okay?” you ask softly, feeling awkward as you mentally slap yourself for your train of thought; it seems as though Beomgyu hadn’t even realized you were there, his head snapping up as he stares at you like a deer caught in headlights— his mood is immediately shifting as he sends you a sweet smile, acting as though his clothes aren’t soaked as he waves you off causally.

“Yeah. Just some ridiculous customers,” he says, laughing softly as he grabs at a pile of napkins on the table; you wince as you watch him scrub roughly at the stains, unable to stop yourself as you jump to his aide.

“Here, you’ll only get the stains in deeper if you do that,” you say, taking the napkin from his hands as you begin to dab at his uniform without much thought; you’re much closer than you should be to someone you’ve never really talked to, but you don’t seem to realize it as Beomgyu practically forgets to breathe from your proximity.

Shit, how did he find himself in this situation? He might as well go back out and thank the jealous, “tough guy” boyfriend that threw his drink at Beomgyu, because he feels as though every guilty fantasy is coming back to mind as he takes in your concentrated expression, your hand placed firmly on his chest for support as the other dabs at the stains in his uniform.

You smell so good. Even though you’ve been in the restaurant just as long as him and have been around food this whole time, he’s still able to pick up on your scent with every shaky breath he takes.

You’re wearing your glasses, too.

Beomgyu’s mind is wandering off to dangerous places; he knows he needs to get himself under control, because the danger of him popping a boner just from how close you are is a higher probability than he’d like to admit. It seems as though you’re snapping out of your trance the moment he clears his throat, your face growing hot and slightly horrified as you jump back; Beomgyu can’t help the smile that tugs at his lips at the sight, finding your embarrassment oddly endearing.

“Sorry, got carried away,” you say, smiling shakily as you take in the way Beomgyu practically beams at you— always a sweet, nice guy, waving you off without a problem as he laughs softly.

“No, it seems to have helped,” he says, and you can’t help but notice how oddly charismatic he is even now, during this mundane interaction that has you stuttering over your words stupidly— but to be fair, how are you supposed to give him advice on how to get the stains out when he’s looking at you with the cutest god damn puppy eyes you’ve ever seen, his brown eyes round and sparkly as he listens intently to every word you say?

“I wouldn’t have thought to do that,” he smiles, his cheeks puffing up cutely and oh, is it weird that you want to coo at how cute he is and pinch his cheeks…?

Definitely weird, you decide, letting out a soft laugh as he tells you that he’ll try it as soon as he gets home.

“Speaking of which, I’ll let you go; you probably don’t want to be here longer than necessary,” Beomgyu is so kind and considerate even as you tell him it’s fine and that you didn’t have any plans after work anyway.

“I’ll let you get back to work,” you can’t help the soft laugh that escapes you as Beomgyu asks you to wish him luck, the smile he sports coy as you follow his command without any hesitation— you take this as your chance to leave before things get awkward, but a part of you itches to go back and talk to him more.

Beomgyu’s good, you realize as you’re exiting the building, a bewildered laugh escaping you as you realize that he managed to charm you just from that short interaction.

You get why he’s so popular.

»»»

Any plans to go to bed early and rest are immediately thrown out the minute your phone buzzes beside you.

You were just about to put your laptop away— just on the verge of falling asleep, until your eyes reluctantly drifted to read the words that take over your screen— it’s a Twitter notification, the username making your eyes widen as you’re scrambling to unlock your phone and read the rest.

guiltypleasures

had a shitty shift today, let me take it out on you? https://…….

Oh. oh, oh lord… you can feel the exhaustion lifted off in an instant; suddenly, you’re wide awake, eyes widening as you quickly copy the link of his tweet into your browser— while your mind scolds you for trying to stay up and possibly ruining your sleep schedule, the other, much more sinister part of it tells you that you’re paying for a reason.

The stream starts in five minutes.

While you wait anxiously in your room, your hands swiftly going to your nightstand to take out some toys— your trusty vibrator and a dildo you recently bought, all because of him— Beomgyu paces around his setup, gathering his own toys and changing into something that the viewers might like; today's ensemble is a bit more bothersome than usual, but he knows how much his viewers like when he dresses up and role plays a bit with them.

He was tired; today's shift took a toll on him, and he’d rather be fast asleep than putting on a stream— but after looking at today's earnings, he couldn’t help but feel unsatisfied with it all, deciding on impulse that he would put on a stream to make up for his lack of tips— instead, he’ll earn tips in another way.

“Hey,” he starts quietly, sitting back in his seat as he takes a glance at his monitor, making sure his face is out of frame. The viewer count rises and comments flood in no time, all of them freaking out about how good he looks in the suit he wears; the all-black ensemble feels stifling to him, but he knows taking it off will be worth it in the end.

Bad day today? Let us make you feel better :(

His top tippers are all begging for his attention, desperate and needy as always as they beg for him to get started— but he feels a lot more sluggish than usual, his gloved hands caressing his thighs slowly as he reads the comments out loud.

“Yeah, today’s shift wasn’t that great,” he speaks, his voice deep and sultry as he allows a moment to pass, reading all the comments that beg for him to use them, “I only thought about you though. Just wanted to see you.”

There he goes again— he’s no longer talking to his audience, but to you instead, closing his eyes and imagining a world where you’re in front of him, or even on the other side of this screen, one of the many faces that lusts over the way his cock begins to harden, the bulge becoming much more apparent as he lets his mind wander.

Unbeknownst to him, you are on the other side of your screen; a shy and flustered mess as you shift in your bed, watching the comments fly by as you wonder if you should join in— not that you could, anyway, your low-tier subscription excluding you from doing such things, as ridiculous as it is.

You’re practically devouring the man on your screen with your eyes; taking in the way he’s dressed, his pretty hands covered with leather gloves as he runs them slowly over his black trousers; stopping as they run back to his hips, a hand beginning to palm at his bulge as he spreads his legs a little wider in his chair— today's setup is a bit different, along with his attitude as he seems to sweet talk the audience more than usual.

“Seeing you is the only good part of my day,” he sighed, his free hand trailing up his chest before it stops at his tie— he’s tugging at it, loosening it and allowing it to hang around his neck as he continues, “Can’t stop thinking about how much I want you, how I’d fuck you until all you can remember is my name.”

The offer is tempting; you groan a little as you watch him begin to slide off his blazer, throwing it to the side before he’s unbuttoning his white shirt— he’s making quick work to become undressed, you notice, untucking the material and undoing his belt as the sounds of it jingling ring out in the room.

Yet, no one knows his name— no one knows anything about him, except the tattoo that runs across his side as he slides off his shirt, the sharp, elegant lines running all along his ribs, trailing down to his hip bones and disappearing under his pants— the rest of him remaining a mystery as you’re left to lust over a nameless, faceless stranger.

That’s probably where the appeal comes from; you’re able to imagine anything about him, from what his face looks like to what he may do when the cameras are off; you’re free to mold him into the perfect fantasy, using him and projecting onto him as you watch him slowly unzip his pants, a hand slipping under as he begins to jerk himself off teasingly, slow as always as he waits for the requests to come in— like clockwork, your eyes fall to the end of his tattoo, taking in the cute heart that rests by his hip bone, the ending of the elaborate piece that always has you wondering what it’d be like to see in person.

“Hmm? You want more?” he says, tilting his head slightly as he smiles; it’s mocking as always, biting into his lip as he begins to roll his hips into his hand— making a show out of it, throwing his head back and letting out a breathy moan that has you shivering.

“How about you show me just how much you want it,” he sighs out, smiling evilly as tips begin to come in left and right as a response; you find the way he’s able to manipulate the audience impressive, always able to get them to blow their money on him without hesitation.

He leans forward, towards the screen, and you’re able to admire his lips as he reads the comments, mouthing them as the lights cast a glow on his pretty, pouty mouth, his neck tempting and begging to be marked as you watch the way he displays it so teasingly.

“Good girl,” he laughs softly, your eyes flickering to the comment section for a moment; his top tipper has spent an egregious amount on him yet again, and you listen to the way he softly begins to fulfill her request, the rest of the audience momentarily disappearing as he begins to speak to her.

“Always such an obedient thing for me, hmm? Tell me, what do you want to see?”

His manipulation is seamless as he watches another tip flood in; all from the same person, the amount doubled in order to get his attention past all the others that blow a measly twenty on him, nothing compared to the three hundred that is highlighted in gold, the comment momentarily pinned for the man to read it.

I want you to fuck your favorite fleshlight and use a vibrator while you think of me. Can you moan my name please? It’s—

Her comment has your eyes widening for a second; it’s bold and demanding, and the idea of requesting such a thing from the camboy in front of you is daunting as you read her request over and over— your face feels hot and you’re already taking off your sweatpants from how needy you are, wondering if the man on your screen will accept such a request.

The first two are nothing to him— in fact, it’s more on the tamer side as he already finds himself reaching for the aforementioned toys.

The problem lies in the last request.

He’s not one to moan names on a live stream; he usually saves it for personal requests he gets, the videos much more personal and calculated as he gets to take his time with them— so for his top tipper to request such a thing on his livestream is a bit more difficult; especially when he spends this time thinking of you.

But then again, it’s three hundred dollars.

“Okay then, is that what you want? Hmm?” he teases softly, purring out her name at the end as he watches the way she tips him again; it has him laughing in amusement, sitting back in his chair before he’s crossing his arms over his chest, singing out her name with a soft lilt as he watches the way she continues to pour money at him like it’s nothing.

Soon enough, more requests come in; all with the same amount and request, hoping that they’ll be able to hear their names fall from his lips as he slowly begins to tug down his pants, raising his hips as he’s left in nothing but his underwear, the briefs straining painfully as his cock twitches, begging to be free.

“One at a time,” he murmurs sweetly, patronizing as he mumbles that it’s her turn now, watching the way she seems to react with every purr of her name.

The sudden trend of requests makes his stream slightly difficult; he’s always found himself to be a lot more into them when he’s mentally moaning out your name, lips ghosting over the syllables every time he’s coming undone. Instead, he’s forced to moan out the name of a stranger as he begins to palm himself slowly, even though his mind thinks back to you and the small interaction you had today.

He feels his cock twitch at the mere thought. It’s painfully hard and won’t stop leaking as he takes it out, not needing to use any lubricant as he begins stroking it slowly, hips jumping at the feeling of the leather against his skin— and though his lips moan another’s name, his eyes remain closed, thinking about you.

You and your meek personality, always letting guests take out their anger on you before they’re turning around and sucking up to Beomgyu— he’s always had to resist the urge to fuck them up as a response, knowing that you think no one else notices your sullied mood and your crestfallen gaze every time they seem to get away with it.

He’s never free to comfort you. You’re both far too busy to be around each other for longer than a few minutes, and today was like a blessing as he caught you at just the right time— he would have stayed the rest of his shift back there talking to you, if only he hadn’t been playing the part of a sweet, considerate guy.

He thinks back to how you felt against him. How, even though your actions were innocent and you were much more focused on taking out the stain of his uniform, he still felt the warmth of your hand against his chest, delicate and smaller than his as you leaned in close enough to allow himself to get a whiff of your sweet scent.

And those glasses.

He never thought he would find himself hung up on such an item, but the way they make your eyes look big and sparkly is practically enough to make him cum on the spot. Instead, he grabs a hold of his newest fleshlight, soft and tight, just how he imagines you would be.

It’s perverted, but as he slides his cock into the tight sleeve, groaning slightly at how he’s barely able to push through, he imagines that it’s you. His mind begins to wonder what it would be like if you were above him right now, your thighs encasing his and your pussy leaking onto his cock as he fucked into you without abandon.

As he turns on his vibrator, running it along his balls and letting out pathetic moans, he imagines what it would be like to use it on you while he fucked you, imagining the way your tits would bounce and your eyes would squeeze shut as he made you cum until you were unable to hold yourself up.

On the other side of the screen, you imagine the same thing. Your legs are shaking and you’re fighting to keep your eyes open as you follow the pace he’s set, pressing your vibrator firmly against your clit and letting out weak whimpers at the sensation. You try to ignore the way he calls out the same name over and over, wondering instead what it would be like to hear your name from his lips— the sound is ringing throughout your mind the moment you imagine it, burying your face into your pillow as you increase the intensity of your toy.

“Let me fill you up, want you dripping with my cum,” he growls out, the sloppy sounds of his thrusts only spurring you on as your thighs close around your hand, hips grinding into your dildo as you sink your teeth into your lip ruthlessly— it’s almost enough to draw blood as you watch the way he cums into his toy, hips continuing to rut into the it even long after he’s come, a white ring forming at the base as he turns the vibrator off from the overstimulation.

“_— Shit,” Beomgyu almost slipped up for a second, proceeding to moan out his requested name repeatedly as a distraction.

And you know you’re imagining it, but you’re briefly coming undone after that, your pussy tightening against your dildo and your legs shaking as you run your vibrator along your clit, imagining that it’s him inside you, that he’s currently spilling his load in your cunt— your mind swearing that you almost heard your name slip from his lips for a second— and it isn’t until you recover from your orgasm, the sound of another name leaving his lips repeatedly making you come to, that you realize it was your brain playing trick on you to help you get off.

But you weren’t imagining things.

Beomgyu hopes his audience didn’t pick up on his small mistake, but he’s relieved to see that they’re none the wiser as they continue to request to hear their name next.

“Let’s see…” he says, and you’re barely able to keep your eyes open as you watch the way he leans towards the camera again, reading requests off the monitor as he grinds his hips into his toy absentmindedly throughout it.

He’s barely getting started.

In turn, so are you.

»»»

Beomgyu is the sweetest guy you’ve ever met.

After your brief conversation at the restaurant, you quickly found yourself talking to him more often.

It turned into him sitting next to you during the one class you shared, your friendship growing stronger day by day as you got to know him better.

He acts like a puppy; he’s so sweet and kind, his voice soft and endearing every time he spoke to you— and, like a stark contrast to the flirty and outgoing guy you saw during your shifts at the restaurant, he was very shy, ever the gentleman as he always treated you with nothing but kindness.

“Good morning,” Beomgyu hums, sitting in the seat next to yours before he’s placing down a cup of coffee, “I got this for you. I already finished mine, but I thought you might like some too.”

Sweet gestures like these were common with him; despite your insistence that he really didn’t need to, he always did it anyway, ever the charming man as he sent you a cute smile that would have you unable to say no.

“Hey, I heard you’re friends with Yeonjun?” you ask, reluctantly accepting the drink after he insisted that you didn’t need to feel bad; your lips are curving into a small smile as you take a drink, stomach flipping at the realization that it was your usual order— you’re surprised he was able to remember it after the first time you got coffee together.

Beomgyu nods in confirmation. You’re a bit surprised by his answer, unable to see the two be friends due to their contrasting personalities. You can tell that he’s curious as to why you’re asking as he pouts slightly— a habit he always does when he’s confused— and you’re quick to swallow down your drink and give him context.

“He’s having a party this weekend. I was wondering if you’re going?” you say, and Beomgyu feels his stomach drop slightly; not because you were going— well, not entirely, at least— but because if you were going, you’d definitely end up seeing a different side of him. And after seeing how fond you are of his puppy-like behavior, he dreads seeing your reaction to a much more reckless side of him.

“I… think so,” he says sheepishly, wondering what kind of excuse he should make to not go— but he pauses, seeing the way you pout at him, grabbing his arm desperately as you lean into him as you plead.

“You should go— pleeeasee? Yeonjun’s parties are super over the top and he always invites hella people, I don’t wanna be there alone.”

You have this man wrapped around your finger; with one look at your face, your gaze sweet and pleading as you cutely pout at him expectantly, he finds himself agreeing, unable to fight back a smile as he watches the way you cheer triumphantly, quieting down the moment the lecture starts.

Beomgyu will definitely have to be careful this weekend— but seeing you will be worth it, even if he’s risking the chance of potentially changing the way you’ll view him forever.

»»»

You have yet to see Beomgyu.

The party started hours ago, yet you’ve only been present for a few as you’ve already both greeted and lost Yeonjun, forced to mingle with people you barely know as you all hang out in his backyard— because lord knows how packed and stuffy the place would’ve been if he held it inside.

You currently find yourself playing cup pong, teaming with the girl in your communications class as you go against two strangers— Yunjin is much friendlier and outgoing when she’s drunk, cheering you on and yelling triumphantly with every ball you get in— you’ve barely had anything to drink as a result, and Yunjin is eager to fix that as she hands you a small shot cup; you’re hesitant at first, only accepting it after she explains that it isn’t strong at all, the soju mixed in with other things as she tells you you’ll barely feel it.

It’s not that you’re a lightweight that would get drunk off one shot, but you’d rather not get shit-faced when you have yet to find Beomgyu; your eyes scan over the place once more after you take the shot, Yunjin’s cheers falling deaf onto your ears as you allow the team in front of you have their turn.

“Drinking already?”

Beomgyu has snuck up on you successfully— you’re flinching in surprise as you feel his hand fall gently on the small of your back, leaning in close so he’s properly able to speak to you over the music.

Beomgyu feels as though looking at you is a sin; he’s forcing himself to keep his eyes off you, listening to the way you ramble into his ear about how happy you are to see him, your head tilting back and exposing the column of your neck to him to get him to hear you.

“You’re not wearing your glasses,” he comments, oddly hung up on it as he watches the way your smile only widens.

“Yeah, didn’t feel like it,” you say lightheartedly, leaning back against Beomgyu and finding comfort in the position that allows the two of you to speak over the booming music.

Unbeknownst to you, he takes this moment to drink in your appearance. The white, oversized button-up you wear is left completely open as it drapes over your figure, the light blue denim shorts entirely too tempting as they ride up your thighs, much too short to even cover you properly— but of course, that’s the look you were going for, leaving your bottoms unbuttoned and folded down as you allow your bikini to peek through— the color is flattering on your skin, and Beomgyu wonders if he’ll be strong enough to resist you, eyes flickering over to the pool that’s filled with plenty of people as a distraction.

“You wanna go in?” you ask, and Beomgyu realizes you’ve followed his line of sight, shaking his head quickly in response. You laugh, turning around briefly as you listen to the sounds of Yunjin telling you that you have to drink— you freely down the shot in the plastic cup this time, much more at ease now that Beomgyu is around— and turn back to him, pulling at his shirt slightly as you take in his attire.

“Come on, you’re definitely dressed for the part!”

And that much was true— though he realized halfway through his drive here that doing so would not be a good idea, especially if he wanted to keep up this cute, innocent act of his.

“It’s too full right now,” he says, his excuse valid as you study the pool for a moment— only to agree, turning back to the game as you tell Beomgyu to cheer for you with a cheeky smile.

It doesn’t take much longer for you to get tipsy— all because you made the mistake of trusting Yunjin to play properly during her turn, missing entirely and proceeding to get the two of you obliterated after she went against one of the guys on the opposite team (Jake, he later told you.)— but you’re quick to make sure to bring Beomgyu down with you, handing him every other shot you get as you tell him he’s now on your team.

What you don’t seem to realize is that Beomgyu is not a lightweight— far from it, watching with amusement as you slowly begin to get tipsy, your mouth loosening and your personality becoming much more outgoing after losing the game to Jake and his friend— three times in a row.

“Again?” you ask, laughing at the way Yunjin yells in agreement— Beomgyu has to tug on your shirt to get you away, telling you that it’s definitely not a good idea to go again, especially with someone as uncoordinated as Yunjin.

“Why didn’t you play with me then?” you say, leaning against him as you smile up at him prettily; he’s leading you away from the table and towards the grass, over to where a small campfire is lit, plenty of chairs scattered about as the music becomes louder in this area.

“You don’t like games?” you ask him, stumbling to a stop and tugging at his shirt to stop with you, just so he’s able to hear you better. Coyly, you smile, your eyes twinkling mischievously as you lean in to speak to him quietly, “Don’t you wanna play with me?”

Your words are fairly innocent— but your delivery is not, and it has Beomgyu sputtering in surprise as he wonders how he should respond to such a random advance— though he doesn’t need to in the end, watching as you break character and laugh at your own antics, perking up immediately as you listen to the song that’s playing.

“Oh, I love this song!”

You’re dancing carelessly to the song without a second thought, pulling Beomgyu in and laughing at the way he seems reluctant to let loose; it’s probably the alcohol in your system that’s making you act like such an idiot, leaning against him and smiling at the way he seems adamant to avoid your gaze.

“You know, I just realized that we’re matching!” you laugh, tugging at the collar of his white button-up before you’re glancing down; it’s tucked neatly into his denim shorts, and your smile is only growing wider as you look back up at him, “we look like a couple or something.”

Your words affect him much more than he’d like to admit— but he has no time to dwell on it, eyes looking past you and at Yeonjun, who walks straight toward the two of you with a grin stuck on his face.

“Hey, why didn’t you tell me you were here?” Yeonjun yells, grabbing your attention as you’re turning to greet Yeonjun; you’re bubbly and seem to find everything funny as you giggle slightly, waving at him happily before you’re stepping away from Beomgyu.

“I couldn’t find you,” Beomgyu mumbles, watching the way Yeonjun slings an arm around your shoulders casually— he feels oddly angered at the sight, unsure why it irritates him so much to see the two of you act so close.

“Didn’t know you two were friends,” Yeonjun says, and he watches as you begin to ramble about your history with Beomgyu with a small smile— scanning your outfit, he frowns.

“You haven’t gotten in the pool yet?” Yeonjun asks, raising a brow at your entirely dry figure; you shake your head, which only makes him tilt his head in confusion, “I thought you said that’s the only reason you were coming?”

“Well, I just haven’t gotten the chance to,” you say sheepishly, the shy smile on your face quickly turning to one of confusion the moment Yeonjun hugs you; he’s got you tight, and you’re stumbling along with him as you begin questioning what he’s doing, your eyes widening the moment you peek over his shoulder— you’re heading straight to the pool, the volume of your yells rising significantly as you begin to struggle against your friend, yelling at Beomgyu to come to your rescue.

(It’s all for dramatic effect. Yeonjun laughs at the way you pretend to struggle against him, and he pretends he doesn’t hear your laugh of joy the moment he falls over the edge, letting go of you in time and forcing the two of you into the water.)

You’re pleasantly surprised to find that the water isn’t freezing; you personally thank Yeonjun’s heating system as you come up for air, wiping at your face and adjusting your hair as you begin to splash Yeonjun, insulting him for being such a bully.

Your movements are immediately stopping the moment you spot Beomgyu at the edge— Yeonjun is quick to leave, sending you a small wink (the term “wink” used loosely) before he’s off to find his next target—he’s taken his shoes off and he looks more than ready to jump in, and you can’t help but laugh sweetly at his concern before you realize that you should probably take off your shoes as well.

“You okay?” He asks you, watching the way you cringe as you take off your shoes, tossing them over the edge and leaving them to dry as you swim to where he stands.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you smile, watching the way he seems hesitant to do anything— to get in or leave, you’re unsure. A second passes before an evil thought pops into your head, taking notice of your equally soaked clothes that remain stuck on your body.

“Oh. Hey, could you hold this?” you begin, shedding off your shirt before you’re bundling it into a ball, holding out the fabric for him— he crouches down, arm reaching out for your shirt— and you seize your moment, both hands grabbing onto him and tugging as hard as you can.

And Beomgyu, in his unguarded state, falls in immediately.

The laugh you let out is pure evil as you watch him fall in, flailing for a second before he’s coming up for air— and honestly, Beomgyu can’t even be mad, at least not when you’re laughing so hard, your face lit up as you take in the way his hair is completely flat on his head.

“Sorry. Couldn’t help it,” you say, but you don’t look sorry at all as you swim over to your shirt that’s now sunk into the bottom of the pool. You’re diving down to get it, quick to throw it over the edge and by your shoes before you’re tugging off your shorts. You’re glancing back at Beomgyu, relieved to see he doesn’t look angry at all, when you spot something peculiar.

“Woah, what’s that?” you ask, approaching Beomgyu eagerly as he’s quick to follow your gaze. His cheeks are on fire and his hands are quick to fly onto his ribs, turning away from your curious hands and even more curious gaze as he stutters out an excuse.

“It’s nothing.” That’s probably one of the lamest things Beomgyu has ever said, and you’re not believing him for a second as your eyes widen at his sudden change in behavior.

“Is it a tattoo?” you ask, trying to get a peek through the cracks of his fingers; but the water makes everything blurry, unable to get the details of it before you’re humming appreciatively. “Hmm. That’s cool— I didn’t know that was such a common spot to get tattooed.”

“Is it?” he asks, and suddenly, he doesn’t seem to want to hide it anymore. Your curious gaze and awed compliments have him smiling, raising a brow as he feels himself become more confident— the idea that you of all people would judge him seems ridiculous now.

“Who else do you know that has a tattoo here?” you’re late to process the question— only because your eyes are widening as he admits that it is a tattoo, the words flying out of your mouth before you can truly process if it’s a good idea.

“I don’t know. I’ve just seen it online, I guess.” Of course, this could mean many things— but it means one thing to you, and you’re practically biting your tongue from the sheer terror that you inadvertently admitted to a guilty, secret pleasure of yours.

“Online?” he asks, and you try to not look suspicious as you choose to simply remain quiet and nod.

“Yeah, like on Pinterest and stuff,” you add, hoping that it’s enough to prove your innocence (to yourself) as you watch Beomgyu nod along to your words.

“Aren’t your clothes weighing you down?” you ask, eyeing the way he’s barely moved with a small smile, “or like, are you not wearing anything underneath?”

Most of the people here came with their swimsuits underneath— some just opted to strip to their underwear, which is why you didn’t feel alarmed to find people stripping their layers in order to jump into the pool.

Though, now that you think about it, you feel a bit bad for forcing Beomgyu to get in without much of a warning. Your concerns are quickly soothed, however, when Beomgyu shakes his head, hands coming up to unbutton his shirt before he’s laughing softly at your words.

“I was wearing my shorts underneath these,” he confesses, your eyes widening as you find yourself going silent— because wow, was Beomgyu always this ripped?

You feel odd as you watch him strip, sliding off his shirt as most of his torso remains underwater; he’s slowly making his way to where you stand by the edge, and you can feel your heart stopping as you take in the look in his eyes.

Dark. Dangerous. Tempting. You think you’re imagining things as you look away, gulping heavily as you feel yourself sobering suddenly. He’s throwing his shirt in the direction that your pile of clothes lie, and you feel oddly embarrassed by the way you have to look away as he strips his bottoms off as well.

You’re only glancing back in time to see him hover out of the pool for a second, his upper body coming out of the water as he takes a moment to lay out both your clothing properly.

Holy shit.

Was it common for people to have the same tattoo? It surely was, right? Those are the only things that are going through your mind as you observe Beomgyu’s tattoo, taking in the familiarity of each line as your eyes drift down to his v-line— your eyes spot the small, perfect heart that rests right at his pubic bone.

Oh god. Oh god, oh god oh god, you think, trying your best to not lose your shit and melt in a puddle of horror and embarrassment as you realize that Beomgyu has the exact tattoo as guiltypleasures.

It had to be a popular tattoo. Or maybe it was a reference to something, or a drawing a tattoo artist put out to let other people use— anything, it had to be anything else than the conclusion your mind was terrified of making, meeting Beomgyu’s gaze shyly as you realize that he’s caught you staring, hard.

“It’s pretty,” you breathe out, unsure you can trust your voice as you watch Beomgyu sink back into the pool, “Is it… a reference to something?”

Please say yes. Please say yes.

“Thanks,” he starts, leaving you on edge as he takes a moment to inspect his tattoo— running his fingertips over it, tracing over the delicate lines in a way that has you gripping onto the edge of the pool, “and no, it’s not. I designed it myself.”

You’re gonna pass out.

“Really?” you grit out, hoping he can’t pick up on the tension of your voice as you smile, albeit forced, “Like, it’s one of a kind?”

“Yup,” he grins, staring down at his tattoo with a proud look on his face, “One of a kind. My tattoo artist didn’t even post it, upon my request.”

You’re gonna cry. Maybe you’ll scream, or even sink into the pool and try to drown yourself.

Because Choi Beomgyu, your closest friend for the past few months and the man you may or may have not been beginning to crush on, is guiltypleasures, the man you lust after every night and fucking pay to watch.

You know they say that quiet guys are the freakiest, but this is too fucking much.

“That’s so cool,” you say, sinking into the pool so the water is up to your mouth, hoping that you won’t blurt out any more stupidities as you stare off into the distance, attempting to let this new information settle in.

“Hey, you okay?” he asks, and you hate how attentive Beomgyu has become— even more because everything is starting to click, his husky and deep voice a replica of your stupid camboy’s, your body reacting involuntarily to the sound of it as you simply nod softly.

“Mhmm,” you hum out, coming out of the water a bit so you can speak, “I think those drinks from earlier fucked up my stomach— I should go home.”

“Oh,” Beomgyu says, and you feel awful for the way he’s become confused at your sudden shift in mood, “Are you sure you’ll be okay driving—?”

“I Ubered here,” you mumble, oddly embarrassed at your words, “cause I knew I’d probably drink a lot.”

“Well then let me take you home,” he insists, ever the gentleman as you try to say that he shouldn’t, that he should just stay and enjoy the party.

“It’s dangerous to call an Uber at this hour though,” he continues, his stupid fucking puppy eyes taking a toll on your resolve as you bite your lip, “Plus, I only really came to this party because of you.”

God, what the hell was this behavior?! This innocent, shy, and sweet Beomgyu was a complete one-eighty— scratch that— was an entirely different fucking person than the one that always talked down at you at night, spilling filth like it was in his nature and treating you like you were worthless.

It was a bit terrifying as you watched the way he remained entirely oblivious to the Earth-shattering realization, getting out of the pool and reaching out to help you out with a sweet smile.

After a second, you take it.

You feel so awkward as you gather your clothes; you’re jumpy and you’re sure Beomgyu has picked up on it as he eyes you from time to time, watching as you wring out your clothes as much as you can before you’re slipping on your shirt, your shorts left in your hand as you avoid Beomgyu’s eyes entirely.

“I have a few blankets in my car— you should use those to keep yourself warm,” he says softly, looking back at you and frowning at the way you only nod with a tense smile.

Was he wrong about you? Were you lying when you reacted positively to his tattoo? Beomgyu has no idea why something as simple as a tattoo would change the way you treat him entirely, but he’s determined to get to the bottom of this as you enter his car, entirely stiff as you wrap one of his aforementioned blankets around yourself.

“Hey, did something happen tonight?” He asks you halfway through his drive, licking his lips nervously as he watches the way you jump in your seat, not expecting his question at all as you remain silent for a second.

“Uhm, no?” you say, though you seem unsure of your own answer as you wrap the blankets a little tighter around yourself, “I’m telling you, it was probably the drinks— I didn’t think my stomach would be so sensitive tonight.”

Your explanation is entirely plausible, but Beomgyu doesn’t believe it as he watches the way you remain tense, his car slowing to a stop as the two of you wait at the stoplight in an awkward silence.

“You’re lying,” Beomgyu says, deciding that it’s better to just be bold instead of tiptoeing around the subject, “Is it because of my tattoo?”

Your lips press together.

“It is,” he says, and he feels an unexpected wave of disappointment and anger wash over him, “did something that small put you off that much?”

“That’s not it,” you say, your heart pounding against your chest and your body heating up as you realize that you’ve upset him— and greatly, because you’re able to see the way his brows knit together and his hand tightens on the steering wheel as he begins to drive again.

Did he think you were judging him? That you thought less of him because of such a small thing?

“Then what is it?” he insists, and you’re mortified to see that you’re stuck in traffic, victim to Beomgyu’s sharp gaze that demands answers, “Cause you’ve been acting weird since I showed it to you.”

“I’ve seen it before,” you mutter quietly, sinking into your seat from the humiliation, “I recognized it. Your tattoo.”

Beomgyu pauses. Then he thinks of the many times he’s had his shirt ride up when he’s around you, from stretching to taking off his hoodie and having his undershirt get pulled up along with it.

“Okay?”

“Like. Online.”

That’s enough to leave him silent. Stupefied, even. One glance at you and your body language is enough to confirm that it’s exactly what he’s thinking, your posture so small that you look like you wish you could disappear.

“You’ve—“ he swallows, wondering what else to say as traffic begins moving again, “like… Twitter—?”

“Your streams.”

Fuck. Fuck, oh fuck, Beomgyu needs to get the fuck out of the car this instant, because his dick is already hardening and he can feel his brain short-circuiting at your words— you watch his streams.

In your mind, you feel as though you’ve completely dug a hole for yourself— Beomgyu is probably horrified at your confession, but it’s not as though you knew it was him, or that you had any malicious intent, or that—!

All Beomgyu can think of is how he shouldn’t park the car in the middle of the road and fuck you stupid.

“Did you watch them a lot?” he asks you, his voice eerily quiet and stable, and oh no he’s interrogating you right now, this is the end for you.

“Yeah,” you say, deciding to be completely transparent now that you’ve decided to tell the truth, “I’m sorry.”

Is it possible to come untouched like this? Beomgyu might just find out, because the way your voice is so meek and shy and guilty has him biting down on his lip, his mind growing foggier and his foot pressing down on the gas pedal a little harder as he begins to weave through lanes.

“You were a subscriber then,” he says calmly, and you feel as though he’s trying to humiliate you on purpose as you nod your head in admittance— unbeknownst to you, that’s exactly what he’s doing, enjoying the way he’s breaking you down from just a few questions with sick pleasure.

“How much money did you spend on me then?” You’re finding his line of questioning a bit odd at this point, but you refuse to look up from your lap as you find yourself answering anyways.

“I was just a low-tier subscriber…” you say, and it feels even more humiliating to admit that you cheaped out on him— what the hell was wrong with you?

“Low-tier? Not even a single tip?” he repeats, and you don’t seem to register the way he pouts at you until it’s far too late.

Stopping at a red light, he grabs your chin, turning your face roughly so you’re looking at him— and he’s back, the man behind the screen, except this time you can see the sheer pity that fills his gaze as he speaks to you as though you’re lower than him.

“How are you gonna make it up to me now?”

»»»

God. Fuck. Are you dreaming? You think you might pass out.

“I know, I know I said I wouldn’t stream tonight— shouldn’t you just be happy I’m here?”

Your stomach is twisted in knots and you feel small as you attempt to take in everything properly— Beomgyu’s setup, the same room you’ve seen countless times before— you’re able to see it all, from his large computer monitors, his filming camera, to his grandiose bed and the insane amount of toys he keeps on standby.

You shift restlessly on your feet, entirely bare save for a shirt that Beomgyu let you borrow— another white button-up, the very same one that he loved to wear when he dressed up, now hanging from your figure as he allowed the two of you to freshen up the moment you got to his home.

Nervously, you had left the shirt completely buttoned up; you watched from behind his camera as he continued to sweet talk his viewers, dressed comfortably in a sweater and sweats, his attire a complete contrast to your own.

“You’re happy to see me? I don’t believe you,” he smiles, and you feel as though you’re back to being a faceless member of his stream as you press your thighs together, able to hear the way notifications pop up on his computer, all of them signifying a new tip.

“You know, today’s a pretty special occasion actually,” he begins, pausing to see his comments and the reactions within them, “you’re curious? Do you wanna try something new with me?”

Yes. It’s the only thing he sees in his comments, and he lets out a soft laugh before he’s turning back to his camera.

Then, he’s looking past it.

“Come here, baby.”

You knew this was coming— you agreed to this, for crying out loud, but you still feel as though your legs are made of jello as you hesitate, biting your lip before your eyes are widening nervously, the safe word the two of you established beforehand running through your mind like a mantra you mustn’t forget.

“Come on, you don’t want to keep them waiting, do you?” he asks, eyes flickering over to his screen, watching the way everyone seems to go haywire from his words, “See? They’re curious, they want to see you.”

You’re taking your first step towards the camera— then another, and another, until you’re walking past the setup, your back facing the camera as you make your way to where he sits at the edge of the bed, unsure of what to do as you remain frozen in front of him.

“What, are you nervous?” he asks, and he’s only able to let out a mean laugh the moment you’re nodding in response, unable to use your voice properly— that’ll change soon, he thinks, reaching for your hands and guiding them to his shoulders.

“Don’t be,” he whispers, aiming for your thighs next as he’s tugging at them, pleased with the way you let him mold you to his desired position, your thighs on either side of his as you hover over him pathetically, “I know they’ll love you.”

Neither of your full faces can be seen— but the audience can definitely see the way he captures your lips in a harsh kiss, filled with nothing but pure need as he finally gets to feel you properly— you feel as though you’re about to run out air when he finally pulls away, laughing as he feels the way you buttoned every single button of the shirt he gave you.

“Now why would you do that?” he whispers against your lips, and your fingers dig into his shoulders pathetically as you watch him rip it open— the viewers are going wild at the sight, tipping ridiculous amounts of money just so they can get Beomgyu to see their requests; curiously your eyes drift to his monitor.

You practically collapse at the things you read on the screen.

Finger her. Eat her out. Use a vibrator on her, tie her up, breed her until she can’t walk straight, use a dildo on her—

The horror comes from the fact that Beomgyu is clearly considering doing all of it.

“What do you think baby?” he asks you, pressing his hand on the small of your back and forcing you to arch into him, your ass perking out and your cunt left to be entirely displayed as he trails his hand up your back, lifting your shirt along with it as he allows the viewers to get a good look at you.

“Anything that piques your interest?” he whispers, your head buried in his shoulder as you shake from the embarrassment of it all, “or…”

You jolt at the way his hand lands a sharp smack on your ass. He’s quick to soothe the area, smiling at the way he takes in the small whimper you let out, burying your face deeper into his shoulder and arching more in response. He lands another one, much more harsher than the last as his hand immediately drifts to your pussy, spreading you for the camera and watching the way you practically glisten under the light.

“Should I decide how I get to use you for myself?”

He’s a bit surprised to find that you’re quick to nod at his second request, much too shy to even lift your head from where it rests as your fingers dig into his skin.

He smiles, his eyes drifting back to the monitor as he begins reading over their requests.

“Hmm, are you shy, princess?” he asks, fingers trailing along your slit, feeling the way your hole flutters at the feeling, wanting nothing more than to feel him inside as you whine quietly, nodding at his words.

“But you’re so fucking wet, and we haven’t even done anything,” slowly, his fingers slip inside— you’re both moaning at the feeling, and Beomgyu thinks that he might just be the one to cum as he feels the way you stretch around his fingers.

“God, you’re so tight,” he groans, beginning to test out the waters by scissoring you— spreading you out for the camera, watching over your shoulder as your arousal practically leaks out; he gulps, unable to keep his eyes away from the sight as he sighs.

“Feels so soft and warm,” he mutters, placing a kiss on your temple before he’s reaching for something off-screen— the box of toys, you realize, forced to keep your face buried in his shoulder in an attempt to not show your face to his audience.

“Just like I thought you would be,” he says, smiling against your skin as he murmurs the words into your ear— just for you to hear, not for the thousands of people who are currently watching the stream.

“Do you know what I thought about every time I went live?” he asks, sitting up and shifting so that you’re back in position, shaking your head softly as you feel his fingers begin to circle your entrance.

“You.” the stretch you suddenly feel has you moaning pathetically, the first sound the viewers are able to hear as the comments begin to fly past— your legs are shaking at the feeling of him slowly pushing the silicone dildo into your pussy, thick and long as you squeeze your eyes shut, feeling tears prick at your eyes from how full you feel.

“I thought of you. Every time.”

Beomgyu’s eyes are dark as his hand grabs at your ass, spreading your cheeks and showing off the way the dildo begins disappearing into your tight cunt, your arousal already beginning to drip down the toy with every slow thrust of his.

“Wished you were there every time I would stream. I thought about fucking you the way I would fuck my toys,” his thrusts begin speeding up; you’re a moaning mess against him as you push your ass back, showcasing yourself perfectly and pushing up against the toy that he continues to ram into you— you’re jolting back into him with every thrust, your hands beginning to cramp with how hard you’re holding on to him.

“I would always moan your name too, did you ever notice?”

Your mind goes back to the time you thought you heard it— and, unexpectedly, you’re coming undone, reaching your peak as you respond with a pathetic yes…! The realization that it had all been real much more overwhelming than you thought.

Beomgyu continues to fuck the toy into you even long after you’re done coming; you’re a whimpering, crying mess against him, the stimulation making your mind muddled as you quietly attempt to get him to stop.

“Hmm? What do you want baby?” he asks, lips trailing down your neck and to your shoulders, where he begins to slip off your shirt so that you’re more exposed. He remains fully clothed as he begins sucking bruises into your skin, following one of his requests to mark up your pretty skin— his hair falls over his face, covering him momentarily as he begins drifting along your body carelessly.

It’s too much— yet, it’s not enough to have you using your safe word, and the fact makes Beomgyu smile as he bottoms out the toy inside you, grinding it into your pathetic pussy as he watches the way a ring of your cum begins to form around the base.

“Come on, talk to me. We’re waiting,” you’re hesitant to speak— that much is clear, especially when you know how much traction this stream is currently getting, the sound of tips constant as you shake your head in defeat.

“No? Okay then,” your shirt is being slipped off, leaving you naked as you wince slightly at the feeling of your garment being removed. Once again, Beomgyu is moving you around, and you’re facing the camera now as your legs are pried open by his own, the toy still stuffed inside you as you sit on Beomgyu’s lap— right on his hard cock, whining softly as you feel him begin to hold your hips down, grinding into you for some release.

“Don’t wanna use your words? Don’t wanna say anything to me or the viewers?” he tries again, eyes narrowing at the way you remain disobedient and shake your head, laying back against him as you pant softly.

“You’re not gonna thank our viewers for wanting me to please you, you fucking whore?” his hands are swift, and before you realize what he’s doing, your hands are cuffed behind your back, the fuzzy feeling reminding you of the cuffs he uses on himself sometimes.

“Fine. You wanna be ungrateful, stay quiet?” every sound that leaves your lips is unsure and soft, barely able to reach the microphone of the camera as Beomgyu scoffs at you. “Then stay fucking quiet. I don’t wanna hear a single word from you, understand?”

He doesn’t let you respond— of course he wouldn’t let you— but the way your mouth falls open suggests that you almost went against his command, the vibrator that he now pressed onto your clit making your legs shake with the sudden stimulation, threatening to close before Beomgyu’s own pried you back open swiftly.

“Look at you. Like a bitch in heat, only thinking about yourself,” he growls, his other hand beginning to thrust the toy back into you at a harsh pace, listening to the sounds of your arousal and the toy smacking against your skin with a satisfied groan, “Do you have any idea how many people wish they were in your place, wish they could be getting fucked stupid instead of having to sit and watch as I do it to you?”

He pauses. Then, he turns up the intensity of the vibrator with a cruel laugh.

“You would fucking know,” he seethes, taking in the way you writhe against him pathetically, biting at your lip to keep quiet as your hands struggle behind your back, “shit, can’t you hear how pathetic you sound? I bet you were a lot louder when you watched me, just another of my useless viewers that wish that I would fuck you— that I would even fucking acknowledge you.”

Everything that happens next is all a blur— your mind is foggy and you’re coming undone as you feel Beomgyu bite down on your neck, unable to hold back the pure keen of pleasure that rips through you, a string of unintelligible sounds flowing out of you desperately as you cream around the toy, feeling tears sting your eyes the moment Beomgyu decides to turn the intensity up again.

“Take it. I know you can,” he laughs purely because he knows that you have yet to use your safe word. It’s even worse because he’s right, the overstimulation fogging your mind and making you melt in his arms, still able to trust him even if your mind isn’t entirely there.

After a moment, the vibrator is turned off— you can hear him toss it to the side before he’s pulling the dildo out of your aching cunt, your body twitching at the sudden feeling before your cum is oozing out, dripping all over Beomgyu’s sweats and onto his sheets as he merely laughs at you.

You’re being turned around again— you feel woozy as you cling to Beomgyu, barely capable of hovering over him as he simply looks up at you, his eyes holding that same, innocent puppy-like look that got you trapped in his clutches in the first place.

“I feel so stuffy,” he pouts, tilting his head up at you as you simply whine incoherently in response, “I know baby. Won’t you help me out?”

It takes you a second to even register his request, your hands suddenly freed by him before you finally realize what he asked; your hands are slow and clumsy as you reach for the hem of his sweater, barely able to tug it up before he’s helping you out— your hands land on his shoulders once more for stability, your gaze falling on his chest and trailing down curiously.

And there it is. The very tattoo that got you into this mess, though this time you’re free to gawk at it, not paying attention to the way Beomgyu realized he caught you staring until he’s grabbing your hand, placing it on his chest and trailing it down, allowing you to feel him up as he shudders slightly at the feeling.

Your fingers trace over the tattoo. All the way down, following every elaborate line until you’re stopped by the hem of his pants, hands immediately slipping under before you’re tugging them off, pulling off his boxers too as you feel him lift his hips, left just as bare as you before he smiles.

You feel his cock poking at your entrance, painfully hard as he begins to rub it against your slit; teasing you with the tip, looking over your shoulder to see what his viewers may be saying.

“What do you think?” He asks, pushing his tip into your cunt before he’s pulling back out. The action has you whining hopelessly, and Beomgyu has to take a second to recollect his resolve, pausing all movements in order to not come then and there.

“Should I fuck her? Does she deserve it?” He asks, looking over at you, cooing softly at the way your eyes remain glassy and fucked out, “Don’t cry. You don’t deserve to cry, not when you’ve been so ungrateful to our viewers.”

A tip catches his attention, and he’s briefly scanning over the amount and request before he’s biting back a smile.

“See? Even though you haven’t said a word to them, they still want to see me fuck you,” he says, taking your hands off his shoulders and leaving you to wobble momentarily as he places your cuffs back on.

“Aren’t they the sweetest?”

You’re barely able to process what’s going on— all you know is that your position changes within seconds, and your face is buried into the mattress while your ass is up in the air, your legs shaky as you’re barely able to hold yourself up; luckily for you, Beomgyu is there to help, hands grabbing onto your hips before he’s making you lean back.

His cock is poking at your entrance, and he’s already able to feel the way your cunt tries to suck him in as he passes his tip along your entrance, left entranced with the way you look under him, a complete, ruined mess as you quietly whine out to him, your voice muffled from where your face remained in his sheets.

It’s cute, really, the way you’re able to focus so hard on keeping your face hidden— if you lifted your head now, every single viewer on his screen would be able to drink up your expression as he fucked you— the thought irritates Beomgyu.

He’ll just have to make sure to fuck you until you’re too weak to move.

“God, you’re such a brat,” he groans out, entering you slowly and feeling the way you clamp onto him dangerously; even with how wet you are, he finds it difficult to fuck you, gritting his teeth and taking a moment where he merely concentrates on not coming inside you then and there.

“Stop fucking squeezing like that— ah— shit—,” it seems as though your pussy has him going stupid, unable to form a coherent sentence as he slowly pulls out— the whine you let out is long and lethal, so desperate and carnal that Beomgyu finds himself losing control; tightening his hold on your hips, he begins to fuck into you without a care.

“Such a good little pussy,” he grits out, watching the way your ass bounces against him with every thrust, “fuck, wish you’d let me fuck you sooner— would’ve made you mine, wouldn’t be able to get enough of you— god, fuck—!”

The way you tighten at his words is dangerous. He’s cursing and talking down like he always does, but this time, it’s just for you. The very thought is enough to have you clenching around him again, mouth agape and drooling against his sheets as your sounds get louder.

Another tip rings through— the same person from before, repeating the only part of their previous request that Beomgyu has yet to fulfill.

Won’t she say thank you?

The words have him stuttering out a laugh, unable to help the way he moans in between. His thrusts slow, and he’s bottoming out inside you before his motions are nothing but a slow grind, rutting his hips into your aching pussy while he reaches for something off-screen.

Your whines and soft complaints at the sudden change of pace are brief— because soon after a familiar buzzing sound is filling your ears, and before you can react, the same vibrator form before is pressed against your clit on the highest setting.

“Gyuuuuu…!” you whine out, long and desperate and incoherent as Beomgyu grabs at your cuffs, using them as leverage to make you slam back into him. His thrusts are brutal and the sound of skin against skin is enough rivalry to the buzzing of the toy as he begins to use the last of his energy to fuck you to your orgasm, watching as the chat buzzes with excitement from your sudden word.

What? What’d she say?? Was that his name? omg?!

“Do you think you deserve to come?” he sneers, his voice gruff as you shake your head, knowing damn well that you haven’t been perfectly compliant to him like he wanted you to be, especially now that you may have just slipped up and let out a personal fact about him.

“Exactly,” he continues, his thrusts toning down in speed, but not intensity— he pulls out to the tip with every thrust, only to slam back into you and have you jolt forward from the harshness of his pace; the vibrator that was once relentless on your clit is now hovering mere centimeters from you, taunting you as all stimulation becomes insignificant to what it was before.

“Maybe, if you’re good for me, I’ll let you come,” he begins, watching the way you can only nod eagerly against the sheets, your hands struggling against your cuffs— he’s holding your hand at the sight, fingers interlocking as he watches you grip onto his hand with both of yours tightly.

“Will you be good for me? Are you gonna listen to whatever the fuck I ask you to do?” he says, his voice hardening at the end as he looks at you expectantly— a second passes before you’re nodding again.

“My viewers have been so patient with you. The only reason you got all this was because they wanted it— if it were up to me, I would’ve dumped my load in you already and left.”

That’s a lie— the biggest fucking lie Beomgyu has ever told, knowing damn well that he would’ve done all this and more to you any day, entirely unprovoked. But he knows his viewers love it, and so do you, because your cunt squeezes him so tightly he’s afraid he might just come early.

“Aren’t you grateful they loved you so much? Hmm?” you’re barely registering his words anymore. But you’re nodding nonetheless, your thighs beginning to shake from the sheer pleasure of feeling Beomgyu rut into your cunt throughout all this.

“Tell them thank you,” he says sweetly, not giving you enough time to speak before he’s back to fucking you wildly; his pace picking up, aiming for that specific spot that leaves you dumb and drooly as he places the vibrator back on your clit— any chances of sounding sane are thrown out the window as he begins tugging on your cuffs, bouncing you back against him as the wet sounds of his thrusts ring out through the room.

“Did you hear me—?” he asks, landing a smack to your ass before he’s soothing the area, slowing down so he can smack you again, “I said say thank you. Do you think you’re above us, pretty?”

Your first attempt to speak is a garbled mess.

“Come on, I know you can do better than that. Or— do you just wanna be a cute little cumdump for me—? Ah, let me use you every time I stream… don’t need any fucking toys when I have my pretty doll for me— right—?” His own sentences are becoming more incoherent the longer he fucks you, addicted to the way your pussy practically sucks him in deeper in response.

“Try again,” he growls, feeling his own orgasm approaching slowly, “show me you’re not a— shit, a fucking brat, and maybe I’ll let you… ugh, let you come.”

Beomgyu swore he got rid of his habit of rambling like this long ago. But, you seem to be able to bring it out of him, his calm and collected speeches crumbling like paper in his mind as he takes in the way both your arousals are smeared over skin and dripping down your thighs, forming a ring around Beomgyu’s cock as he feels his resolve beginning to crumble— he begins to fuck you carelessly, not able to think about anything else but reaching his high as he waits for your response.

“Mmh—! ugh… fuck…” your voice is increasing in volume, the shy person from before long gone as you begin to chase your orgasm, much too afraid to lose it as you try to form a single, coherent thought.

“Thank…. thank you…” you whine out, but it’s all too slurred and quiet and pathetic to Beomgyu as he growls out a sharp what? His hand pressing down on the small of your back as he glues your hands to your skin, forced to take the way he fucks you as you moan out uncontrollably.

“Thank you..! Thank you thank you, oh, fuck—!” holy shit, you’re full on crying right now, reduced to nothing but a mess of moans and tears as you ramble on repeatedly, only able to remember those limited words as you feel Beomgyu come inside you— warm and deep, stilling for just a moment before he’s back to fucking you, his own moans becoming much more needy at the feeling of overstimulation.

“Thank you thank you thank youuuu, fuck, fuck fuck mmh—!” you feel stupid. You’ve definitely been fucked stupid, moaning out those stupid thank you’s like a prayer as you feel yourself slumping completely, a boneless, gooey mess as you rely on Beomgyu to hold you up.

He continues to fuck into you slowly, even after you’ve gone entirely still; he thinks you might’ve passed out, but it’s only for a minute before he sees you shifting again, burying your head into the mattress as he hears the distant sound of you sniffling.

Beomgyu feels concerned for a second, ready to check up on you and end the stream before you’re grabbing his hand again; then you’re clenching around him, mumbling his name so sweetly while you try to press yourself against him.

You’re straight up gone, he realizes, stilling for a moment and waiting for you to use your safe word— but you don’t, and he sees you peeking subtly at his monitor before you’re burying your face back into his sheets.

“You got a new tip.”

The words are barely audible to him, but he’s quick to glance at it upon your request; he almost chokes as he sees the five-hundred dollars that have been sent to him, his eyes reading over the request a few times before he’s looking back at you.

Could you try to make her squirt ?

“It’s five hundred dollars,” you mutter, and all Beomgyu can do is let out a bewildered laugh, leaning down to place a kiss on your shoulder before he’s whispering in your ear if you’re okay to continue— the small nod you give him is enough to have his cock hardening inside you.

Fuck, he’s gonna give you the aftercare of the century after this.

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