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#chrollo can't manipulate you out of this one

lightfeltmemories · 5 months

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episode one: phantom troupe and romance; headcanons from least toxic, to most toxic

characters include: chrollo, machi, pakunoda, shizuku, uvogin, shalnark, feitan, phinks, bonolenov, kortopi, hisoka, illumi, nobunaga, franklin. (not in order)

tw's: nsfw but nothing explicit, mentions of non-con, spoilers for the deaths of pakunoda, shalnark, kortopi and uvogin, toxic relationships, lovebombing, mentions of torture (not on reader), mentions of cheating, mentions of reader's death,

notes: a completely self indulgent post, you can probably tell who im biased towards by how long certain sections are.

because this contains mentions of nsfw, do not interact if you are under 18, you will be blocked if you do !! also, do not leave negative comments please, they will be deleted :)

pakunoda

out of everyone, guaranteed, she'll be the best partner out of everyone else, you might even end up shocked that she's apart of the troupe if it ever comes to you finding out.

she's a darling, spoils and cares for you like anyone else, a great listener and partakes in your interests in hobbies, its (almost) like a fairytale by how the relationship is, the troupe knows you but you don't know them! and she wants to keep it that way, of course still she's a murderer, so it would break her if you were to have found out about everything, she vowed to never let you know or even have you close to knowing about what she does, but you just can't help but wonder what she's doing when she's away for long periods of time.

until it comes to her death.

now, you eventually find out that she died from a close friend of hers, but he knows paku doesn't want you to know about the troupe, so, he's a bit vague, and a bit creepy.

nobunaga

personally out of everyone else, i feel like nobunaga would be other most normal when it comes to relationships, but then again, he's an enigma, he doesn't strike me as the type to be the best boyfriend literally ever or very very toxic, i feel like out of everyone else, if you're looking for someone to be in a semi normal relationship with, nobunaga is your best shot, but of course, he's a part of the phantom troupe, and any member apart of it isn't exactly the best partner by default.

he's still a murder and thief, like all members i believe that he would definitely steal things that remind him of you, he'd most definitely kill for you.

unlike someone like feitan or machi, he doesn't exactly have a problem with being vulnerable when you get to know him, he'll tell you about himself, and of course, because he's a criminal he can't exactly tell you what he does for a living, but can't bring himself to lie about it either, he's just hoping that one day, if you know, you won't leave or judge him for it, his childhood isn't exactly all sunshines and lolipops, y'know?

he'll love you from the ends of the earth, but he definitely won't let you walk all over him, quick to put your in your place and won't allow you to manipulate him, he won't lie to you (about trivial things, at least) so why should you? (who knows, maybe you're apart of a criminal organization and is pretty much a wanted criminal yourself :P)

bonolenov

similar to nobunaga i think if you want something that's somewhat normal, bonolenov is also a nice choice! (100% not putting him up so high because we don't really know that much about him it's totally because he would be a decent partner! honest!)

for one, you would definitely be introduced to usual romantic gestures and advances that come from his tribe, he'll tell you all about how things work with him, he'll do dances he learned when they were still here for you to show how much he adores you, and dresses you in garments that resemble such from his tribe, it's pretty cute, honestly!

now, what concerns him a bit is.. how you'll react without his bandages, he's not exactly sexy like chrollo but (to me, TO MEEEEEE) he's not the ugliest thing in the world! he just hopes that eventually if you see him in his true form, you don't scream and run away at the sight of him, its okay if you do! ..... kind of.

and if you don't, oh you'll mean so much to him!

kortopi

now, here's another one we don't know much about! but i'll try my best either way (i just want to contribute to the lack of attention him and bono get in these spaces.) he's another somewhat normal one, he also doesn't strike me as the type to be the absolute worst, but still is apart of a troupe of murderers and thieves.

similar to everyone else, he'll steal and kill for you (idk if this guy even has a body count but lets pretend he does.) and is a lot more open to being vulnerable than some other members.

now, nine times out of ten you'll be taller than him because this guy is even shorter than feitan, so, he'll definitely be wearing your t-shirts and hoodies, and he ain't complaining about it!

and eventually, he dies, now, honestly, something told you that kortopi seemed... like the odd one out when it came to the troupe, he doesn't seem like the type to be apart of... that! you better hope that hisoka doesn't care about you, or things are gonna turn ugly faster than you can blink.

uvogin

he's big (as hell), but he's sweeter (you know why they're in bold italics) than the others twice his size.

physically the strongest, you're rather lucky to have him has your partner, if someone won't stop messing with you, they're dead within a millisecond, or at least scared off since you know.. he isn't exactly built like the average guy and having someone that's eight foot fucking two walking up on you not really excited to see you is quite terrifying, depending on his mood they'll sometimes get away.... sometimes.

enough of that, how is it like when it's just the two of you? sitting on the couch or laying in bed watching movies together, his arm around you, it's basically a pillow! a hard ass pillow at that.

not the most vulnerable, he's not some weird incel who see's women as sex toys or anything, he's decently capable of being in a normal relationship, you won't see each other often sadly, but when you do, he'll pay 95% of his attention towards you, he'll even let you know straight up that he won't know when he'll get back, but he will! ... until he doesn't..

ah yes, his death at the hands of kurapika, how will you react? hell, how would kurapika react to your existence? something tells me that kurapika might kill you too, send you right off with him, or, in a rather strange twist of events, he might try to fuck you and take you to the other side, not in the way of barging into your house and straight up non con, nah, more like a get to know you then get in your pants type of way, uvo won't be there to protect you now would he? of course the latter is highly unlikely, but to be honest it's kind of fun to think about.

and now that you think of it... you don't even know what uvo was doing or where he was going, you choose how you want to react to how you found out about his troupe business.

shizuku

another woman! she's similar to another person right below her! she looks cute, but she's anything but!...... sort of.

she's not the best or worst partner, she's pretty normal, a bit distant but it's not something you can't manage, maybe she just needs some space and you're overwhelming her, but something that really gets to you is her forgetfulness.

at first, she'll forget things such as your birthday or your anniversary, but going further into the relationship, she becomes less and less forgetful (she might even remember things that you don't even remember.)

what exactly do you guys do together? well, she does try to partake in your interests, and does try to get things you like!

franklin

he's similar to uvo, he's big, he's actually nicer than he appears.

what makes him so low is.. well to be honest i don't know, i don't feel like he could be high up but not so low, so, this is the perfect spot for him.

for one he does have a bit of an anger problem, not as bad as phinks, but he doesn't mind a slight argument, good thing he wont assault you, and is quick to make up for the argument.

i don't know how to write him, so, please forgive me for how small this passage is. :(

shalnark

we're starting to get into uh... strange territory, he looks kind, and seems normal, but he's anything but that, he's not the most toxic but he also isn't the most caring and understanding either, similar to nobunaga he's kind of an enigma.

he's a love bomber and very good at manipulating, definitely takes advantage of his rather cute looks, he'll figure out what you're insecure about and compliment those things specifically, i do think he is capable of loving someone genuinely, but he sometimes does things without realizing that they aren't really normal, maybe he's getting his troupe personality mixed up with the one he has with you.

he does come off as sweet at first, brings you flowers and takes you on some rather expensive dates (an uncanny feeling creeps up on you about how the waiters act, but you don't pay much attention to it.) and sometimes he's more distant and a little bit aloof, you take this as him needing his space.

he's not abusive, but he isn't the absolute best partner, there's definitely better out there.

his death doesn't hit you as hard as the others but it was still devastating, you best hope hisoka doesn't come for you, and if he does, you hope he swiftly kills you, because you really don't want this murder clown to take an interest to you.

phinks

phinks is another one 'that's kind of odd to me, i don't want to judge a book by its cover and say "yeah he's a piece of shit!!" but again, he's a lot better in comparison to anyone below.

he's similar to shalnark in quite a few ways, one, he does things that kind of makes you think he's a bit of an odd ball, he's intimidating to look at and is the second strongest physically in the troupe, so you're lucky to have someone like him if you're looking for protection.

i don't see him as the type to take you out to fancy restaurants and bring you flowers, stuff like that is a bit too sappy for him, he shows other ways like giving you thinks you like or taking you to like carnivals or other fun events.

his main problem is his anger issues, he won't physically harm you especially if you don't use nen, but he's not above arguing with or yelling at you, he doesn't do it often, but he might call you an idiot or a bitch if you take him to that point.

the relationship is somewhat normal besides that.

chrollo

chrollo is weird, some say he's loving, caring, blah blah blah while some might say he's the exact opposite.

for one he is charming, he's a relatively good looking man, he's intelligent, and is looking for someone who's also intelligent.

i feel like chrollo definitely has a type, he likes people who are elegant, he wants someone that'll make him look good while he's in public, he doesn't care much for how people view the relationship outside of that, he also looks for someone with a personality he doesn't want someone who looks good yes, but is boring to be around, someone he can have a deep conversation with and talk about his interests with.

for one, you will not know about the troupe's existence, until he is 100% ready to tell you, which will definitely take a while, but he's confident that the troupe and himself will protect you from anyone who tries to avenge.

now, what makes him so low on this list? well, he's quite manipulative, a gaslighter, too, what do you mean you saw me with another woman? it's all for business, i'm just trying to steal her nen ability.

he does want to be a good partner, but this relationship is kind of a "too good to be true" type, something is happening behind closed doors and the thought is too persistent to ignore.

illumi

this guy is... strange, for one, his beady ass eyes make him look like a bug (affectionately), and section.. his very warped perception of what love even is.

i agree with the fandom that he has a breeding kink no doubt, his intention on dating is marriage, and you will bear his children, no ifs, ands or buts.

you'll meet his family but you'll never meet the troupe, he doesn't want you getting involved in fighting (he might have someone teach you some basic self protection) because he doesn't want you to die, that'll fuck with him... kind of, you're basically trapped in the mansion.

his overprotection is toxic on its own, you don't have that much freedom, you can't go shopping unless he's with you (or if he can't be there, one of his servants will accompany you), you're never truly alone unless he's away, and when he's here, things are no better, he's distant and cold, there's not much to talk about with him, sure, he loves you, but doesn't know how to express it much.

machi

one out of three toxic ass individuals, one of them consists of machi.

lets start off with the fact that she's cold hearted, as hell, if you cry in front of her she'll look at you like you're crazy, if she's really in that mood she'll tell you that you look stupid and you need to suck it up.

not good with physical touch or romance, who knows how the two of you managed to continue the relationship, she does leave flowers for you but won't tell you that they're from her, won't admit that she's the one who got them for you.

i feel like similar to a certain clown, she won't care much for you if you aren't either powerful or capable of protecting yourself in some way.

but all she's really doing is putting up barriers, she's actually caring in her own weird way, she'll still be there for you, patch up your wounds if you managed to get cut or stabbed and would probably mourn your death.

hisoka

were getting lower, and a certain sadist who loves torture is worse, but somehow, hisoka is slightly better than him in some way or another.

for one, hisoka probably won't be that interested in you if you aren't powerful, it would be worse if you were a regular civilian, he'll take that as an opportunity to take advantage of you sexually, physically, psychologically and mentally, and the relationship will be literal hell..

but, lets say you are pretty powerful, dare i say a troupe member yourself, he won't be as interested in fighting you as much as he would chrollo, but he would be interested in... other ways.

how you managed to get into a relationship with this freak is unclear, but you two one day just.. hooked up, and it all goes downhill from here.

he has no problem killing you if he gets tired of you, he already killed two and plans on killing the rest of the spiders, why not kill another? especially you? or, in an alternate scenario where he does manage to kill off all the spider, you're the only one who's left, this can go two ways, one, he can fuck you one last time then kill you, or, he takes you with him! if you managed to have a lasting impression on him, that is.

outside of sex, he just isn't a good partner, he's probably the only one on this list that's probably willing to cheat on you (don't you dare get back at him, both you and your lover will die) he's manipulative as hell, he doesn't necessarily care about how you feel and he'll provoke you just to get a reaction out of you.

feitan

and last but not least, feitan, oh boy, good luck to you for managing to have this man attracted to you. (im a feitan girlie, so this one might be a big longer than the rest)

for one, he'll hate your rotten guts for making him feel this way, for making him feel so weak, so emotional... he might even contemplate on killing you, but when that time comes he can't bring himself to do it.

i don't want to say yandere is his default since he doesn't really know how to properly love, because i do think he has some potential, but it does make sense for him, because there has to be something about you that makes you interested in him, maybe you're his polar opposite? maybe you're also a sadist?

he's not the most romantic partner, he doesn't want to come off as vulnerable, or sappy, so, what considers as a date to him? he's the type to probably take you to a cemetery at night as a form of a date.

he will not allow the troupe to know you or you to know them, for one he's going to be teased from hell and back for finally managing to pull someone and second while it appears that he doesn't care for you much, him protecting you from them is his way of showing you that he cares.

he can't find himself being vulnerable, he might teach you his language if you're up for it, and he might bring you some things he knows you like, but thats kind of it, also he won't force you to see him torture people.. unless you betray him in a way.

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ataraxiaspainting · 2 months

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Yan chrollo + “Chrollo, where have all my romance books gone?”

Warnings: Yandere themes, kidnapping, manipulation, alcohol, not SFW implications, and drugging.

Word Count: 550.

*~*~*~*

All of your things are gone, not just those books. No, that would be too easy for someone like him, and too lax of a punishment for someone like you.

Is it a punishment, though? Or is he just playing with you? You hope for the latter, unsurprisingly.

You can’t wait to be able to stand up again, you haven’t eaten or drank much ever since feeling a bit lightheaded a few minutes ago, the moment that Chrollo asked how good today’s dinner was.

Bastard.

“I simply wanted to entertain both of us with a game.” A claim much too innocent for someone like him, but also something far too simple. “A game. That is all, nothing more and nothing less. If you win, I’ll give them back.”

Is this a lie or a half-truth or something else entirely?

“You’re stranger and creepier than me looking outside and seeing the tentacles of a giant squid coming out of the hotel across the street.” Hmm, a raised eyebrow as a response instead of words. “Forget it, I’ll find something else to do.”

A bluff, really, because you can’t really stand up, and because you don’t know what became of all your other things like your shoes, your diary, your three succulents… everything is just gone, and you know why.

“When have I ever gone so low, darling?” Sarcasm, you think, from the way he crosses his arms so nonchalantly and puts the pack of mint gum back by the bouquet of roses, which he will have to replace soon at the speed at which they are wilting.

“Last month.” As above, so below. “You were making breakfast. I don’t remember anything other than waking up in the late afternoon of that day with a painful migraine. You did something, but you refused to tell me what.”

Everything was hazy then and still is now. How much did he put in your drink this time? Or did he put something in your food? Will he ever tell you what it is or was?

“I promise I only have the best intentions for our relationship.” A relationship is quite the strong word, you want to say. “You. Me. Drinking, watching a movie of your choosing perhaps, and having a few laughs. We’ll relax.” A full truth? “We will show each other what no one else has seen. No one else.”

You scoff. “I appreciate the sentiment, but unfortunately a certain black-haired fellow has caused me to feel ill.” Technically, you’re not lying. “Physically and emotionally and everything else in all other aspects. …But what happens if I lose? If I can't stand up?” A question you are forced to ask. Temptation and coercion go hand in hand, after all.

Like the light of an angler fish, Chrollo’s eyes swing back and forth, and you have to look closer to notice anything wrong.

“I’ll keep you.” He murmurs, the implications and stakes too high for you to not notice, but the matter of pride and the punishment for running away with your tail tucked between your legs are things you are all too familiar with.

“Deal,” It’s the only word you said this entire conversation that isn’t slurred, you note. He simply shakes your trembling hand, and you take the cup, doomed to soon fail as Chrollo intended.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere hunter x hunter #aya abstractions #yandere hxh #yandere chrollo #yandere chrollo x reader #yandere chrollo lucilfer x reader #yandere chrollo lucilfer #chrollo x reader #yandere hunter x hunter x reader #yandere hxh x reader #200 followers event

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corollaservant · 20 days

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The Host // Chrollo x f!Reader (18+)

Synopsis: Chrollo likes you, you remind him of someone he knows. Better yet, you might just be her. He's hosting a show tonight and you're starring in it.

Warnings: noncon/dubcon, yandere, kidnapping, drugging, manipulation/coercion, knives, oral and penetrative sex, psychosis/schizophrenia, stalking, 1 insensitive rape remark, Sarasa mentions (Chrollo's childhood friend), spoilers for the manga, would add more but it kinda ruins it.

A/N: inspired by Phantom Troupe's flashback in the Succession Contest arc + brainrot + my eternal love for Chrollo, played intentionally with the verb tenses // wanted to try something different.

The party. That’s right, you were at a party, a drink in your hand and your friend with you. Where was the party? A sharp pain pierces through your cranium and you wince. What ever happened to your friend? You decide you can't show empathy at the present time.

It was commonly assumed that memory followed a chronological sequence, that the human brain could recall memories exactly like they unfolded but let's be honest, memory recalling happened in film stills for most. The party. Your friend. The colors of the light. A man.

A man. Who was the man and what were you talking about, you try to think but it’s kind of hard when you can’t see, you’re blindfolded and tied to a chair. Earthy odor, smells like soil, you note. Not that this takes you far. You had definitely been drugged, you felt weak and nauseous (it was a wonder the stills popped up your head) eyes so tightly folded, the little shapes and colors from the pressure increasing your fatigue, your heart palpitating. Was this date rape? You couldn’t touch yourself to find out but you felt intact. This was also not a date. Then why the abduction and ropes? To offer something, you think. But you didn’t have much to offer for the record. You try calming yourself down but the thought only stresses you further. Fuck, how long was this going to take?

Chrollo never did things without reason. Never talked without it, stole without it (debatable, but they were in need), never acted without it or killed without it. You being there was no mistake, he was wondering how you felt at the moment, not very familiar with human emotions, they all seemed wary, he thought, so he often brushed them off, not caring enough to dig deeper. Chrollo listened, he never talked. He could sit through a Troupe meeting actively hearing the members, knowing fully well when stupid proposals and ideas were spouted as they all patiently waited for his final word. He didn’t mind, he thought it was funny how people unraveled without him trying. His decision on you, he had to admit was made on impulse. He didn’t mean to drug you. He didn’t mean to abduct you. Unlike you, he remembers details. Him and the Troupe were in a club (silly to assume for entertainment, a stolen prize now decorating the heist gallery in one of the Troupe's hideouts) when he saw you. You weren’t far, a couple inches away, drinking clumsily and conversing with a person he presumed was a friend by the proximity of it. You had her eyes, he thought. Of course he could see perfectly in the dark, well, he could pretty much use any of his senses to a higher extent, he wouldn’t be a Specialist after all. Your wide eyes gleamed, they squinted when you couldn’t listen. To make matters worse, you had your hair in pigtails, loosely falling down your shoulders, long hair divided by two black hair ties. Just like hers, he thinks. Now, Chrollo is not sentimental, he really isn’t, but the optic parallels cloud his judgement and he wants nothing more but to be by your side, to reminisce the part of him that died a long time ago. He can’t cry, not unless he has a reason- he does nothing without it, but feels touched merely by your presence. Once the decision is finalized, he makes a move.

‘’Excuse me, miss’’ a voice rings behind you. A tall man with dark brown hair and a gloomy set of eyes holds out your house keys, you always shoved them in your pockets, as you considered it safer than your purse, not directly attached to your body.

‘’T- thank you’’ you stammer, you’ve had a couple of drinks as the club lights hit on your face making you stumble against him, the guy behind you dancing so carelessly you’re being pushed left and right either way.

‘’Be careful’’ he smiles as he extends his arm to hold you upright, a mournful look on his face as he walks away. The keys. The man. The drink. Dark. There is no memory of what happened after.

It’s the same voice you hear entering the room (was it even a room?) The sounds echo as if you are in a cave.

‘’Finally, here you are darling.’’ he smoothly says as you scream the first thing that comes to your mind ‘’What the fuck do you want?’’. Your voice rips through the ‘cave’ but you are certain it makes no difference. Whoever this is, doesn’t worry about the helpless sounds you’re about to make.

‘’Darling, please don’t yell, I’m right here.’’ the voice of the man inches closer, as the blindfold is being removed from your hurting eyes. Your heart races when you see him in all his glory, ominous stare and a tattoo decorating his forehead (did he have this at the club?), blue orb-shaped earrings, a peculiar attire that reminds you of a Victorian vampire- a long coat with feathers all the way down his ankles and some funny boots. His calm expression while supposed to be relaxing, just increases the nausea in the pit of your stomach, he seems familiar with such processes. As for the place, it isn’t coming to your aid either, you can’t recognize what this used to be (a warehouse? a prison? an actual cave for outcasts in the city suburbs?). You feel the known sensory feeling well up in your eyes, it’s starting to become serious.

‘’W-what to do you want?’’ you utter, unable to scream, well you could but see no point.

‘’Are your hands in pain my darling?’’ his eyes look over your tied wrists with concern as he flinches looking at the knot. ‘’I told Feitan to go easy on you.’’ ‘’Well.. he just never listens.’’

‘’What do you want from me?’’ you cry out, since is he not responding to your questions. You want to scream and beg him to let you go, he didn’t assault you so what does he even want? You had no use to a person, as far as you knew, an unessential addition to people’s lives.

‘’My sweet darling..’’ he murmurs as he prolongs the sentence, his words making the bile rise in your esophagus and travel to your mouth, your nausea from the drugging never really went away.

What sick game is this?

‘’Please excuse the sudden change of heart after our brief encounter at [ ]. I was hoping you can understand that I wanted you here today for a very special reason.’’ he starts and your heart’s thrumming, as you silently beg him to get to the point. You want out of there immediately.

‘’Please!’’ you yelp frustrated ‘’ just tell me.’’

‘’How about I show you? Hmm?’’ he responds, his velvety voice making you gag. ‘’Shalnark!’’ he calls and a blonde guy (boy?) makes an appearance holding a.. tripod and a digital camera, which he sets right next to him, adjusting the tripod’s legs and connecting the mounting head with the camera.

‘’Everything's set up, anything else boss?’’ this guy literally beams as your eyes widen, was this a perverted farce? What did the guy mean with fucking boss?

‘’W-what is this?’’ you yelp but ‘boss’ has his a attention directed at the blonde guy.

‘’Think you’re forgetting something, Shalnark..’’ he playfully scolds the boy and the boy’s eyes light up as if having a sudden godlike revelation.

‘’You’re so right, boss!’’ he widely smiles as he exits.

‘’W-what are you gonna do?’’ you are crying, indescribably anxious as you can't think straight– the psychotic simulation making you wish it would’ve been a date rape.

The boy comes back and this time he is holding a wireless microphone, which he passes to the ‘boss’, his name unknown and not your concern at the moment as he wordlessly leaves you once again to his mercy.

‘’Now, sweetheart’’ you flinch at the choice of words, ‘’I would like for you to hold this right here.’’ he tells you indicating the microphone ‘’I’m gonna untie you, please think carefully of your next move’’ he says as he comes close to you, removing the ropes and freeing your bruised wrists. Your eyes flicker, should you try this? He knows. He sees you. He is a Specialist after all, he has a reason. The split second your left foot is turned towards his right side, a wide knife with a sharp blade is pressed to your neck, while you’re being headlocked to his sides. This happens so fast you hardly have time to comprehend it.

‘’Sweetheart’’ he sighs. ‘’The knife’s not just sharp, it’s also poisonous, so please behave.’’ He goes about it as if he deals with things like that daily, you feel your legs trembe and almost snap but he lifts you up and places you back to your initial spot. What kind of a psychotic freak has a poisonous knife on them? And why are his reflexes so fast?

‘’Will you please hold this, darling?’’ he patiently asks again, as he hands the microphone over, your hands shaking and you take it, eyes wide in fear.

‘’Now’’ he smiles. ‘’We’ll go over the script, oh..it’s been such a long time since I’ve done this!’’ he exclaims looking.. happy?

He hands you over a paper with a language you can’t understand and small dialogues, you take it it’s a German variation, as there’s these funny dots over the vowels but also has some incomprehensible words and you can’t make the distinction. On the bottom there’s this image of some superheroes with cleaning devices, one holds a broom, the other one a mop. Nothing makes sense and you feel exhausted as you try to negotiate a way out. Maybe he is just a freak who wants a stupid script played out, maybe it’s that. Maybe you will be able to be free, to see your cat again. Maybe. Logic has left you, but you don't seem to notice.

‘’W-will you.. please ..let me go.. after?’’ you whisper, ready to hear the worst when he simply replies:

‘’My precious, of course! Please grant me this favor and I will set you free immediately, I ask for you to forgive previous gestures on my behalf, it just happens that they mean so much to me’’ as you suspiciously eye him up, this is not a time for bargains or reason so you’ll comply to the freak’s needs.

You start reciting as he cuts you off. ‘’More passion, my angel, you need to say it aloud, shout out the line!’’ and you sniff, what a fucking weirdo.

He makes you retake the incoherent dialogues multiple times, cutting you off, correcting you, shouting at you for not waiting for his part. Of course he assigned himself the leader role, must've been some god complex, no wonder from a perverted mind like his.

It is around the middle of the play, when you mispronounce a word that he seems agitated as he approaches you. He slaps your face with malice, an ominous stare, his eyes burning as you let the microphone fall from his hand’s impact.

‘’You mispronounced this, she’d never do that.’’ he spits and you start feeling a new round of tears forming in your eyes, who she is and what you had to do with her not making any sense in your mind. You start sobbing as you mewl out brokenly.

‘’I-im sorry, we..w-we can redo this, please..’’ and he stares at you, the same pitiful expression on his face. He doesn't look upset though, all that pent up anger left him, the more he looks at your pretty eyes, how could he stay mad at you? You were after all the person he used to care for the most. A veiny hand approaches your now disheveled pigtails (pigtail in actuality, as one hairtie had fallen off during your abduction) and his fingers twirl around it. His lower half close to your face as you look up at him. He is absentmindedly staring at your hair when he kneels down to your height.

‘’I’m sorry’’ he smiles. ‘’Would you forgive me, my darling?’’ his breath fanning on your red cheek and parted mouth. Tears are staining your cheeks as he swipes his thumb to 'clean' you. The proximity gives you chills, his composure remarkable and you hesitantly avert your eyes as you gulp.

‘’Y-yes, sir’’ you whisper, ‘l-let’s continue this’’ you were eager to be let free, eager for this twisted game to end.

‘’No, we shall not occupy ourselves with my play anymore, Sarasa.’’ he tells you.

Sarasa? Who the fuck is this and what did you have to do with her?

You didn’t like the new proximity, it made you anxious, his hands were cupping your jaw as he stood up and tightly grasped the loosened pigtail.

A prominent bulge was decorating his pants and while you tried averting your eyes, you couldn't help but notice it. His finger grazed over your lips as he slid one in your mouth, observing you from above the whole time, a sigh escaping his lips when he heard you gag.

‘’Suck on it...’’ he orders, ‘’please, darling’’

There was no plea in this tone, just authoritative command. You did as asked and he readjusted his legs. You guessed what was coming and you wanted this to be over, there was no escape but if sucking him off meant you got to be free you’d be more than willing to do that.

He unzips his pants, sliding them down together with his boxers as his cock springs free, he is probably the biggest you've ever seen and you feel anxious thinking of him in your mouth. He must’ve noticed because he chuckles and approaches you. You were about to shut your eyes and start the lewd act when he stepped aside and tied your wrists behind your back again. Left with your mouth hanging open, a victim to his merciless desires, he put his fingers in your mouth again. Your saliva coated the digits, which he removed and placed cautiously on his cock, stroking himself to the sight of you, stricken with fear and quivering, his good Sarasa, how he had failed to protect her, as he continued to jerk himself off in front of you. The scene is lewd, his naked torso protruding over his ridiculously oversized feather coat, his cock oozing his precum and making wet sounds coming in contact with your saliva and a tormented face– his head's arched back and slow ‘’im sorry’’s exit his mouth. You feel a sting in your core looking at him and the vague bile you had in your throat makes you audibly gag. How can you be thinking like this right now? But your body isn't run by your superego, your moral compass doesn't dictate your body’s instincts as your legs are unconsciously brought together to alleviate the aching pain.

He is getting himself off, glancing at you, knowing you drink him in and his strokes are faster as he suddenly touches your lips with his thumb and parts your mouth only for an angry cock to slam against your throat without a warning, thrusting in and out of you. He hisses and grabs your head to push your mouth and nose all the way down, he wants his release and wants it now. You can't breathe or shout or protest in any way, only wiggling your tied hands and crying out in pain, which comes off as groans that reverberate on him and he crumbles, falling apart, moaning and shooting all his release down your throat while snots and tears fall on his cock and he slowly removes himself.

‘’What a mess you made, darling’’ he sighs, composure quickly regained.

You were responsible for this?

‘’I hope the camera is still on, because I am intending to punish you, Sarasa’’ he said. ‘’You only had one line, my angel, one line in the entire play and you couldn't make it. You know how much this upsets me?’’ his voice almost breaks, the whole ordeal messing you up even more.

You seriously couldn’t understand him at all, you wanted to get out, your throat already hurting from his penetration and fearing for the next part. You knew it would involve sex and shuddered at the realization he would have to touch you..down there. The thought that you had been wet up until he came in your mouth, the fact that he would soon enough know this, the fact that you had been involuntarily aiding his mission by complying to his cruel needs made you feel vile but you had no time to process that as you felt two arms cutting the ropes quickly, letting you free from the chair you were tied to.

You jump up before realizing it, you’ll run you think (you really don't have time to think, you act solely on instinct) but his agility prevails once again, fast reflexes have your neck choked as he grabs you from behind, the knife with the black handle against your artery as you halt.

‘’This was my last warning, sweetheart, please comply before it’s too late.’’

He is dragging you back, forcing you to turn around, his cock still free and semi hard, was he seriously turned on again by your futile attempts for freedom?

What a sick person he was.

He languidly sits on the chair with his coat draping and touching the floor as he positions you on his bare lap. You draw a sharp breath, as you feel him under you, a disgusting cock rubbing your clothed entrance as he sighs and pulls you in an embrace. He smells like cedar, you think, cedar and sweat as he brings his lips to yours, connecting them softly. You keep them shut, your eyes open and he knows it because he quickly pulls away. ‘’Darling, why don’t you kiss me?’’ he murmurs. You feel a sharp blade trailing down your spine, his knife moves to your sides and pokes at the flesh as he brings his lips close again. Your skirt reminds him of hers and it makes him desperate for closure, he'd protect her better this time, he thinks as his stiff cock touches your panties connecting your heat to his and making you softly whine, sounds you can't control. ‘’Please..’’ he whispers as you connect your lips to his. You let yourself get lost in the moment, your freedom is close but the more you think about it, the more anxious you become and his sadistic tendencies leave no space for slip ups. His mouth devours yours, as it clashes against you, his tongue overlapping yours, of course he'd be in control, while the knife rests on your lower back. You start grinding down his length, hands digging at the roots of his hair as you feel yourself lubricated against your will, you wanted this to be over, that’s what you tell yourself.

With a hand behind your back holding the knife and the other one free, he decides to feel your silky softness, test it for himself, his good girl, how obedient she is under his touch, how eager to be punished for her wrongdoings. He teases your entrance, as he smears the wetness gathered around, you choke on a moan, your still functioning conscious and pride making you want to stay silent but that's impossible with a hand around your clit, a finger sliding with ease inside your walls, curling up and poking inside you. The knife also doesn't leave you with another choice.

‘’I want you to call out my name’’ he hums as he continues his rhythm, you are coming undone on his fingers.

‘’W-what’s your name, sir?’’ you manage to breathe out in between thrusts, you’ve been trying to simultaneously fuck yourself on his fingers, the pressure building up steadily within you.

‘’Chrollo’’

What a funny name.

‘’P-please..Chrollo’’ you whimper, it's when he decides to remove his fingers from you.

‘’Oh, Sarasa’’ he sighs, ‘’you’ve misbehaved enough today, I really wanted to punish you, you know?’’

‘’N-no, p-please, Chrollo’’ you purr his name. At this point calling you Sarasa doesn't even bother you, you got accustomed to it some time ago.

Something in the way you hum his name makes his eyes flicker and he wordlessly drops the knife behind him, as he squeezes his cock to line up with your entrance.

‘’Don’t think I don’t have other means to restrain you, darling’’ he mutters and pulls you down on him, giving you no time to adjust to his girth, the head slamming against your insides as you let out a lewd moan.

‘’S-sir’’ you moan, as you're sucking him in, taking every inch as best as you can given the circumstance, you are dripping down his length, as large palms viciously grope your behind, smashing your hips down his pubic bone. Your pretty face bouncing atop him, wide eyes (oh these eyes) looking at his now fully darkened ones and he watches his pretty girl come apart, soft moans leaving your smudged lips, pigtails now fully disheveled as your hair bounces freely on your delicate shoulders. He observes your mouth, how beautiful it looks each time it curves and smiles at him, each time you’d tell him ‘’Look at what I found!’’ excitedly, a tape among the junk, a broken toy– you were his favorite companion. Chrollo feels himself jerk within your walls, you're trapping him inside you and he won't last long.

‘’Come for me, please’’ he hisses, pushing your hips in a way that has your clit touching his groin, you are gripping his hair fervently as you let out small ‘f-fuck 's (involuntarily, you convince yourself) and rock yourself on his length.

He is inching you closer to your relief despite your disdain and you can tell he is there with you, parted mouth leaving shaky, pleading blabbers, as he grabs your hair and twists it in his palm, tugging at it harshly. You are forced to throw your head back so it gives him the opportunity to assault your neck, sucking and biting on it, the sensation tingling and arousing as you come apart, an orgasm taking over you.

‘’C-chrollo’’ you sing, pleasing him and making him groan and cum once again inside you, your core spasms and tightens, clit pulsating and muscles taut as he thrusts upwards to fill you up as much as anatomically possible, his cum seeping from within you onto his thighs. He's marked you his twice and doesn't think he'll ever forget.

‘’My good girl’’ he exhales shakily, ‘’my precious, little girl’’ he continues, rubbing your back, as your weight falls on him, the knife tossed behind him looks at you and you shut your eyes.

Chrollo lets you go. He doesn’t order you a ride or have the blonde guy escort you. You have to walk 45 exhausting minutes to find a bus stop and even then, you hardly recognize the area.

Chrollo leaves for the next 6 months, not communicating anything to the rest of the Troupe, people overestimate their closeness. He replays your video every night while he’s away fighting and earning (stealing) abilities, your beautiful, expressive eyes haunt his dreams, Sarasa would like you if she met you. Sarasa would make friends with you. Sarasa, you. What's the difference?

He comes back only to find you sleeping, so peacefully he rejoices at the sight. Absolutely perfect and innocent, he tainted you and you didn’t even care? He smiles. He tells himself you're a bad girl for sleeping with your doors unlocked, just like Sarasa liked to wander on her own and look where that got her. Maybe the door wasn’t unlocked, it’s something he finds irrelevant now. He had kept his promise, he thinks. You should be grateful he’s honest.

#hunter x hunter #chrollo x reader #tw dark content #hxh fanfic #yandere chrollo #chrollo hxh #sarasa hxh #chrollo lucilfer x reader #chrollo lucilfer #chrollo smut #chrollo x you #tw psychosis #tw dubcon #tw noncon #corollaservant

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white-poppie · 1 year

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ST✩RBOY: random hxh hcs

Now playing- STARBOY by The weekend ft. Killua, Kurapika, Chrollo, Illumi Tw: dissociation

💿 Kurapika

The most perfect man there is to exist!!?!!

So I know Kurapika had to almost grow up by himself, so I think he can handle household chores very well.

I would like to think that he somehow discovers baking. I just know he would be good at it <3

I just know he has super pretty cursive handwriting -sighs dreamily-

If you hug him, I know he would be so hesitant, but would slowly nuzzle deeper. If you were close to him and finally hug him, he would literally try his best to hold back tears (Please tell him, it's okay to cry!)

He smells so good omfg. I can't decide between Vanilla or some earthy smell, either way, it's so comforting yet at the same time it's like *eyes roll to the back of head*

You can read this for more scent hcs: Serenade my Senses

Call him pretty boy and he would be so shocked the first time, but as he gets used to it, he gives coy smile <33

I like the think it takes him a long time to get comfortable, but when he does it's so soft that it feels like breathing air. He is so touch-starved tho, so I can imagine him getting clingy after a while. (same bro same)

He is the knuckle and neck kisses type of dude *cue the flusters*

He hates Andrew Tate and his fans like he would go spit on them if could, this guy has the most healthy masculinity in all of anime and I love him for that.

Doesn't really understand the concept of memes tbh, he needs some explaining but he will laugh a little when you send them, he will once in a blue moon send memes but only the cat ones.

(realises how much I wrote for him while about to write more. This man has me on a chokehold frfr)

💿 Killua

He has trans-supporting t-shirts for him and Alluka. They are all matching.

Takes Alluka to pride parades! He has them sat on his shoulder the entire time too!!

Cant comfort a person even if his life depends on it. If you are crying he is just there like 🧍, awkwardly offering you some chocolate robots tho.

He just can't sit without moving every second! Literally a cat 😒

Older! Killua around 16-17 is a massive flirt! He is so quick to pull out reactions from anyone and takes a sick pleasure in it too??

Calls himself 'The Rizz lord' unironically.

His top Spotify artists would be Chase Atlantic, Mother-mother, The Scotts, Nirvana, Mitski and the Arctic Monkeys. Basically really an alt-rock/indie thing going on (us bro.)

💿 Chrollo

Mansplain, Manslaughter, Manwhore, Manipulate, Malewife ™️

Reads macabre literature like Crime and Punishment, No longer human, if we were villains, the secret history etc.

Tbh I feel like unlike how the fandom portrays him, he is a rather normal dude.

Gothic Academia ultra pro max.

Did the Soldier/Poet/King test, wanted 'king' but got 'poet'

Doesn't have pets because he thinks he can not take care of them

He loves animals tho, idk he seems the birds type of guy.

He likes the 'ominous' kind of birds more; like Ravens, Crows, Vultures and eagles.

Listens to Lana Del Ray and Maneskin, no questions asked.

Is scared of diving into conspiracy theories because he knows he would get sucked into the black hole because he is very interested in morbid things.

He is a DC fan, especially Gothan chronicles. (is that what it's called? Yk the things related to Gotham: joker, poison ivy, harlequin etc.)

Tried journalling once, failed terribly, and stopped after a week.

💿 Illumi

Oh wow, he is a difficult one to write about, but you guys love him, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I hate to say this, but I think he frequently dissociates, usually for very short periods of time, he doesn't even know it tbh, just thinks he is out of the element.

He is subconsciously under a lot of stress so his mind tries to flee from it by dissociating.

I wrote a little more about this here: Stuck in a vicious cycle

I think he likes potted plants, especially succulents. He is patient so I can see him take care of even the very difficult ones.

If he is going on a mission, he would go to his mother (because he cannot trust his siblings and father in this matter) like 'take care of my child.'

She actually manages to keep it alive somehow??

I think he knows how to do origami (he saw a child making a paper crane once and got curious.)

Illumi genuinely doesn't know how to care for his hair, he just follows whatever his mom tells him to do, so thank Kikuyo for those luscious tresses.

He has a hyper-fixation on mushrooms (not the psychedelic kind you weirdo). He knows the names of a lot of mushrooms.

Just imagine him and Hisoka taking walk and he randomly spots a mushroom and mumbles to himself 'Coprinus comatus'

and Hisoka is like:

(yes it's a bad meme, but it's the effort that counts)

🏷 Tags: @denkis111, @jazzylove, @lordmypantsaresocool, @futuristicallykawaiiturtle, @kristaline2dmensimp,@rintaroubby @nanaseishiro @innerpurple, @cleaningfairylevi, @webawee

⤷‧₊˚ Hunter x Hunter (ハンタ x ハンタ)

🥀 BYI/DNI ♡⌇ Request Rules 𓏸 🗝️ ₊﹒《 Join my Taglist •

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vendettasfanfictioning · 3 months

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"ENGAGEMENT RING" WAS NOT SOME WAYWARD TRANSLATION BUT AN ACTUAL LINE IN THE JP MANGA?????? I always thought the reason some translations said, "engagement (ring)," where others used, "prenup," for Illumi and Hisoka's contract was because it was one translator's whim to cause chaos???? Like. It could be read as either of those, but was not necessarily the whole definition.

(x)

But no, I've input the kanji into every translator I could find and they all said roughly the same thing—prenuptial contract. Meanwhile, the furigana (AKA the reading aid consisting of smaller kana printed either above or next to kanji or other characters to indicate their pronunciation), spelled out engagement ring.

I know this might be old news to some but I was today years old when I found out it was so literal????? Togashi really spelled it out in a way ensures we can't misunderstand yet somehow the implications still fly over a few people's heads???????

Idk about y'all but if I was an assassin born and raised on the ideology that an assassin does not need friends and some powerful magician mf just dallies around, telling every person he fights that he's my friend—I'd have killed him by now. I wouldn't trust him with my family secrets. I wouldn't do him any favors.

Or if I was a power-hungry fighter always striving to grow stronger, who grew up in the literal slums and betrays people left and right, I wouldn't put my trust on this pretty assassin either. Even if it's all just manipulations in the end, I wouldn't have any reason to call him, and only him, a friend. I wouldn't give him many, if not all, of my earthly possessions if I were to pass away—even if he isn't the one to kill me.

That's the thing about the contract too, Illumi gets his, "engagement ring," regardless of who kills Hisoka. Illumi's insured, whatever the outcome of this fight may be, so long as Hisoka dies. The funny thing about prenups is it could also be treated as a will of sorts—should one person die, I think it's more commonplace for prenups to include that all valuable assets be given to the widow by default??

Hisoka really did not need to do that, in order to hire Illumi???? Does this mean Hisoka knows and accepts the inevitability of his death on the Black Whale??? Or did his touch with death after fighting Chrollo open his eyes to the fact that he still needed a beneficiary, someone to take his belongings when he dies???? Either way, it's telling that he chose Illumi, of all people, to uphold this extremely important contract...

Anyways. Whether you wanna acknowledge it or not, Hisoka and Illumi have grown to become a pair in the Hunter X Hunter universe, have become the most unlikely, if not terrifying, friends and while the, "engagement ring," or the, "prenup," may not be explicitly romantic, the connotations and the possibilities are still there.

In conclusion, these insane mfs are gay and married, good for them!! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

#hxh #hunter x hunter #hxh manga #hxh 377 #mangacap #hisoka #illumi #hisoka morow #illumi zoldyck #hisoillu #hxh analysis #hxh translation #dark continent #dark continent arc #the vid source is where i learned this from but i fuckin handwrote the characters myself just to put them into a translator and damn #also i do not agree w said video but youtube thought i would lmao so

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animeyanderelover · 1 year

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Being abducted probably means sleeping in the same bed with the yandere, right? How would the yanderes sleep (SFW) with their s/o ? Like, what if the darling isn't comfortable sleeping with someone, especially when it's summer, a clingy yandere would be kind of a nightmare, and if the Yan is strong, then there's no way to kick them from the bed, now is there? For manipulative yanderes, the manipulation probably won't work in this case, right? I mean, guilt tripping only works in some cases.

+ Bonus point if they have sleeping habits (sleep talking, staying up late, nightmares, snoring etc.)

Yanderes requested : (Tokyo Ghoul) Kaneki, Haise, Ayato, (BSD) Dazai, Odasaku, (HxH) Chrollo, Shalnark, Feitan and (Kakegurui) Yumeko, Ririka.

That’s a interesting question. Here’s the very clear difference between those who care and won’t care though.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, clinginess, manipulation, forceful behavior, paranoia, abduction

Sleeping with a Yandere

Chrollo Lucilfer

📖Honestly, Chrollo doesn't really care about what his darling wants. He's greedy and incredibly selfish, is already forcing his darling to endure all of his affection he gives them. He knows that you hate him but feelings tend to change quickly under the right circumstances and Chrollo is a good manipulator. You're delightfully easy to read as you can't hide your emotions from him and Chrollo uses that shamelessly. He's suave, good in playing mindgames although refusing to sleep in the same bad as him doesn't take much from you. Surprisingly he seems to let you go when you decide to sleep elsewhere but the very next morning you find yourself waking up in bed next to him. No matter where you sleep, he always carries you back to him as soon as you've fallen asleep. Sometimes you can't help but feel like he's threatening you a bit with a slight smile and soft tone.

📖 When it comes to Chrollo's sleeping habits, one of them is that he stays up late and appears to be somewhat insomniac for his darling at times. At one point he's basically just coaxed them into heading to bed together with him via some light threats and the wise use of his abilities. A light is always burning next to you as he reads a book. Occasionally he puts the book aside and just looks at you, caresses you. If he knows that his darling is still awake, chances are that he'll start talking to them, even if they refuse to answer him. There's no need to try to fake your sleep, your body language and the pattern of your breath always give you away to him. On the rare moments where you wake up to him actually resting, you get quickly uncomfortable with the one arm tightly wrapped around you, pressing you effectively close to his toned body. Chrollo is a really light sleeper too so he wakes up as soon as you move a bit too much but insists on staying in this position for a while longer.

Feitan Portor

☠️ Feitan keeps his darling initially only chained up in a basement since he only spends time with them if he either tortures them or patches them up. He's a brooding mess of emotions at the beginning, lashes out on you because he can't get a grasp of the strange warmth that blooms inside of his chest. He can't possibly love someone, he can't have fallen for a pathetic and weak thing like you. You're deprived of your sleep for days on end since Feitan gets lost in the mess called his feelings. You normally end up fainting from blood loss and pain and sometimes because Feitan actually gives you a break. There's no such thing as hygiene though as you're covered in your blood and sweat and have to fall asleep on the dirty and cold ground as soon as your captor has loosened your chains a bit. If Feitan is nice, he might give you a pillow and a thin blanket.

☠️ You're moved up in his room the moment Feitan stops hurting you as he gives up to his growing feelings. At first he still lets you sleep on the floor next to his bed, unwilling to give you the privilege of sleeping next to him. It's a hundred times better than being in the basement though. Feitan seems to stay up at night too, is often away to clean and care for his collection of torture devices whilst you're tied up so you don't leave the room. He goes to bed very late since he sleeps little but makes an effort to be silent to not wake you up. When you wake up at night, you sometimes catch him staring at your form on the floor although he senses when you're awake quickly and turns around. When you're finally let in the bed, something he doesn't give you a choice in and just scares and threatens you, he still ties you up for lingering spite. He barely moves at night and always chooses to leave as much space between you two as possible. Weirdly enough sometimes you two wake up to him being very close to you.

Shalnark

📱 Shalnark is very similar to Chrollo in the sense that he likes forcing the domestic relationship on his s/o and also relies heavily on manipulation and guilt-tripping. He's sickenly sweet to his s/o as he tries to coax them into anything with him. Your complains and protests that you don't want to sleep in the same bed as him are met with this scarily nice smile of his although he might act a bit upset during the course of this little quarrel. Arguing with his sweetheart isn't good so Shalnark makes the promise to let them sleep somewhere else but he has other plans. He could use his Nen but he doesn't want to use that just yet. Instead Shalnark is much more the type to drug the food and the drinks you consume to help you falling asleep easier.

📱 Shalnark sometimes snores lightly but it isn't something to get worked up over. The blonde even tries to go to sleep around the same time as you even if he has to stay up longer every once in a while to do some business for the spiders. During such times it's not unlikely that he snaps a few pictures of his darling being asleep since they look too adorable. He just wants to spend as much time with his little sweetheart as possible. The notably worst thing about a sleeping Shalnark is his clinginess. He has an anaconda grip around you and doesn't let loose even after he's fallen asleep. No, instead he tightens his grip a bit when you move too much and that is especially bad if you need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night since it requires for you to wake him up which you don't really want to do. His darling should be careful with their behavior at night though since Shalnark might have to chain them up if they're too aggressive.

Ken Kaneki

🔲 Kaneki is actually pretty respectful even if he is very paranoid. He wants his s/o to be as comfortable as they can be with him having kidnapped them so he lets them take his bedroom and he himself starts to sleep on the couch. It isn't like he wouldn't want to sleep with them in one bed since he's starved for affection and touches but he's shy and flustered whilst thinking about it and also knows that darling most likely still despises him. It's a way to get by and you most likely don't get into another argument with him about another thing. It isn't good for his mental health and not good for you either when he has his mental breakdown. Kaneki doesn't even bother you anymore the moment you go to sleep as he completely adjusts his schedule to your sleeping schedule.

🔲 You sometimes hear him when you're already in bed as he takes care of the household chores, prepares food or cleans something although he does his best to be as silent as possible. The hidden truth is that Kaneki has troubles falling asleep and is even scared to do so. He has a trauma regarding Jason and his torture and even more paranoia knowing you and your current hatred for him. So it happens that you wake up to him crying and screaming whilst he has a vivid nightmare and if the dream was especially terrifying he storms in your room and latches onto you for a few seconds before he snaps out of it. It happens more often than both of you would like and leads Kaneki to the point where he skips sleep for days on end just so you can have a calm night for once. He needs you to allow him to sleep with you before he really does it, prepare for his clinginess though. The nightmares cease a bit since your presence and warmth is soothing for the male although sometimes they still appear.

Ayato Kirishima

🌌Ayato struggles with his affection he feels for this little humans since their kind is weak and his sworn and hated enemy. The clash of conflicting emotions and the denial he constantly shows in regards of his tender emotions results in this rough and slightly sadistic behavior of his. Ayato keeps in mind though that you're still human and arranges things a bit to be more considerate. He keeps you initially in a separate room from his own, a room that is locked up and can't be opened from the inside. It doesn't consist of much except for a tatami matt, a pillow and a blanket but it's enough for you to try to sleep even if you're still highly afraid of the ghoul boy. Ayato does his best to not mind you but sometimes he checks shortly on you, at times when he thinks that you're already asleep.

🌌 At one point he sort of wants to sleep in one bed with you but his pride holds him back from asking you the question. He somehow wants you to ask him first but doesn't know how that should happen since you don't like him. He gets offended and spits harsh words at you the moment you mention dierctly to him that you don't want to sleep with him in the same bed, hisses at you that you ought to be grateful that he kept someone as pathetic and useless like you even alive before he storms away. Chances are that he is pissed enough afterwards to worsen your life condition a bit to remind you that he is the one enabling you a semi-good life. Or the complete opposite happens and he ends up dragging you forcefully into bed with him out of bitterness and hidden longing. He's at least pleasant enough with no real sleeping habits that could annoy you. The only thing he is embarrassed about is the fact that he always ends up wrapping and arm around you and tugging you a bit closer in his sleep.

Haise Sasaki

🔳 Haise, in a state of shock that he resorted to such a drastic measurement, is more lenient out of guilt for his darling and the freedom he deprived you of. He's understanding and it's fairly easy to negotiate with the man which gives his darling a bit of an easier time with him even if something inside of him is still too paranoid to let his s/o leave again. He tidies up a different room for his darling since he knows that they don't want to sleep with him in the same bed and he doesn't want to force them either. Haise tries to make everything as comfortable for you as he can and if you can't sleep well on the tatami matt, he even switches rooms with you so that you get the bed and he sleeps in the other room. He just wants to make the new life for you as good as he can within the limits of abduction.

🔳 The Kaneki inside of him sometimes shines through as he wakes up weeping from haunting nightmares although he is more in control and doesn't wake you up by slamming the door to your room open. Risks are that you wake up from the crying and the whimpers anyways. The male is fairly patient and can wait until his darling is comfortable enough sleeping with him. His work often forces him to stay up longer, otherwise he tries to go to bed when you want to go to sleep. Haise is more clingy in bed too, epecially once he has fallen asleep and cuddles himself really close to you. Worst thing about him are his nightmares though and the more audible reactions he gives such as his cries and whimpers. Whilst he isn't as loud as Kaneki, it might be still enough to wake you up even if you help to decrease the nightmares he tends to have. Sleep talking happens here and there too and never fails to disturb you since the things you hear don't sound like something Haise would say.

Jabami Yumeko

♠️ Isn't a life with her darling just wonderful? Yumeko tends to blissfully ignore the fact that you aren't living with her willingly, she had her hand in a few gambling accidents which led to the current demise you find yourself in. Worst is that you know for sure that Yumeko doesn't feel even guilty for it, she's just happy to have you. Yumeko is eerily jovial and chipper around you and very touchy and affectionate. She's clingy and most of the time she takes you everywhere she goes even if it is just to quench her insatiable addiction for gambling again, something she still encourages you to do for the fun and thrill of it. Her facial expression freezes when you tell her firmly that you don't want to sleep with her but whilst she is upset about it, she hides that well under her facade.

♠️ Yumeko might be willing to give you for a certain time a separate room where you can sleep without her. It is only for a limited time though since she believes that giving you a certain period of time to adjust might just do the trick. If you still refuse, she's going to solve the problem with the classic Kakegurui solution. So she ends up wanting to gamble with you. If you win, she'll leave you alone for a month or two more but if she wins, you'll have to share a bed with her. The Jabami girl doesn't give much room for you to protest so you find yourself gambling with her. With the loss comes the discovery of Yumeko's sleeping habits. Next to her extreme clinginess in which she holds onto you tightly and presses herself very tightly against your body, she also sometimes sighs or mumbles incoherent words in her sleep. The only good thing seems to be that Yumeko is a heavy sleeper so she doesn't wake up if you move much.

Momobami Ririka

🎭 Her innocent facade aside, Ririka is more cunning and manipulative than she lets on at first. Whilst she is shy, she won't hesitate to use her skills to remove threats and maybe also to force her darling to stay with her. It might be likely that she's just a bit scared that you might meet otherwise a terrible fate in Hyakkaou Private Academy. If you end up with her without your consent, Ririka feels quite guilty though and leaves you with a lot of freedom since this isn't even an abduction in the classic sense but something more complicated. One of those freedoms is having your own room with your own bed since the Momobami sister won't force you to sleep together in the same bed as her. She's also somewhat bashful, blushes when she thinks about being in the same bed as you.

🎭 Ririka is way too shy to even ask you the question if you would ever be willing to sleep in one bed with her and is additionally afraid of a cold rejection from your side. So she just waits until her darling is willing to make the first move and ask her eventually. She's going to be highly flustered at first but will also be happy since you asking her such a question means that you finally stopped disliking her. Ririka will continue being shy for a while, especially during the first week where you two sleep in one bed. Her hands are sweaty and you might even hear her faster heartbeat through her chest. Ririka grows clingy during her sleep so in the morning you usually wake up with her pressing herself against you. You swear you also hear her sometimes murmuring and sighing softly in her sleep but it is so quiet that you aren't sure if you're just hearing things or not. Overall Ririka is pleasant and silent at night though.

Dazai Osamu

🤎 Dazai is going to resort to more drastic measurements when it's needed, will be more devilish and cunning. You don't have to be so upset, he isn't happy either that he has to do such horrible things but if you're a sweetheart and listen, he'll promise that he'll be nicer to you. His darling finds themselves being forced to do things as he wants them to do and if they don't, Dazai punishes them and reveals his more sadistic side. He has no problems forcing his affection on his s/o either and he'll teach them to love him just as passionately. So his darling finds themselves soon tied up in bed next to Dazai. You should be nice or else he might throw you out and lock you somewhere else where you won't have the privilege of a pillow, a mattress and the freedom to use a bathroom at night.

🤎Dazai is stubborn too so as soon as you two live under the same roof, he doesn't go to bed unless you do since he wants you in his arms. Considering his job, it isn't unlikely for Dazai to come back later at night and sometimes he doesn't even bother to be silent, he just likes annoying you here and there a bit. He loves cuddling and uses his darling like a teddy bear so Dazai is extremely clingy at night. You always have a warm body latched onto you which is good or bad depending on the season. He's definitely a light sleeper so the next problem is that the moment you wake up and move even a bit, Dazai is quick to wake up from his slumber too which means that you don't even get to have some time for you alone. On some nights he is even awake for hours too although he's at least silent then. He snores lightly but you can ignore that normally and fall asleep. The worst normally happens when you wake up and realize that Dazai has moved in his sleep, sometimes with half of his body on top of you.

Sakunosuke Oda

🖋️ Considering Odasaku and his tame behavior for a Yandere, it takes something more extreme for Odasaku to go as far as taking your freedom away by kidnapping you and he'll feel guilty for that for the rest of his life. He tries to do his best to give you enough space after since he knows that you'll need it, thinks it's best if he doesn't show his face around you too often. You have all the reasons to hate him after all and whilst the thought hurts him, he never gets angry at you if your temper flares up when you see him. Giving you space also means giving you your own room where you can sleep and have some sense of privacy. He never considers forcing you to share a bed with him since it's just gross in his opinion. He's already done enough damage to you, he shouldn't violate your privacy anymore.

🖋️There is some longing to have you at night next to him since Odasaku is just a human too, feels lonely and sad whilst reminiscing about how the relationship between you two used to be in the past. Before he ruined it that is, it's all his fault. He pushes this longing away as good as he can though but sometimes catches himself pausing in front of the door to your room, a sudden urge to check shortly on you before he snaps out of it and forces himself to walk away. He's never going to mention it to you unless you start talking to him about it which flusters him a bit. He sort of thought you'd never want to have anything to do with him and he considers that it might be Stockholm syndrome talking out of you but he has a difficult time controlling his heart when you start being more sweet and affectionate to him again. Besides occasional light snoring and the protective arm he always wraps around you there is nothing much going on when he's asleep.

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sk3tch404 · 1 year

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Yandere Phantom Troupe with a s/o who gets friendly with other partners

Characters: Chrollo, Phinks, Nobunaga and Franklin

A/n: Ehhhh just a small thing. Brain fried from school and lack of proper sleep. Hope my HXH fixation stays strong for a while longer 😍 Also i think the writing is lowkey ugly but I think it's mostly the brain fog

Also wanted to do Uvogin but miss girl I really can't with ts rn... Btw I dont do Franklin I just like his character. ONE TIME THING OK 👌

Also in my ghosting era. Sorry moots I'm dying but bitch im alive but I'm dead 💔

Chrollo

Now what the hell do you think you're doing?

It's good to see that you're still capable of social interaction, but getting all buddy buddy with the other partners will make him extremely jealous.

His jealousy doesn't stem from his fear of them taking you away from him, it's purely because he thinks that HE should be the only one you spend your leisurely time with. Not some nobodies.

Chrollo is very straightforward and verbal in his expression of feelings. He will tell you to knock it off and stay near him for now on.

Maybe he will be more lenient when you talk to them from a distance.

Disobey and you will lose many privileges. It's not too often the troupe has meetings, so if there is a next time to prove yourself, (Assuming you've made up a lot for it and have obtained outside pleasures) you'd better either keep your head to the ground, or your eyes boring into his.

Eyes are the windows to the soul aren't they? Personally, Chrollo agrees with this sentiment.

But if you're planning on escaping with the aid of that other partner, you better pray he takes some kind of psychological pity on you.

He WILL find out about it. Chrollo is a master manipulator and can read others out very well after some time.

Regarding that he has taken everything from you, he will know that you are keeping something from him.

It's not as if he didn't predict this, but it still dissapointed him.

Punishment is never tortuous, but it's direct and precise. Chrollo takes want he wants no matter how he gets it.

Sometimes you think of it as a blade hidden under his long sleeve. He closes in, saying things you wish not want to hear again, and strikes you in the most vital parts.

Phinks

Literally does not care that much if you don't make a big deal out of it. Though, he does make sure you stay close and listens in to check you're not conspiring or anything.

He will only get pissed if you seem really giddy after interacting with the other partner or if you keep looking around like an idiot for some kind of opportunity.

Somewhat playful about it. Phinks will tease you condescendingly, implying things you know you would be immensely punished for.

Your terrified face and nervous defensive speech strokes his ego a lot.

Yeah that's right, you're his. Only he works to make you that happy. Any other being trying to lure you into their untrustworthy hold will get their head spun around back and over.

But if you're planning something against him, he will have no hesitation and will take you back home that instant.

Informs troupe members he encounters that he has personal business while dragging you out by your arm.

The boss is more understanding when it comes to partner business, so he approves of his actions.

Punishment is painful yet effective. The next time the Troupe meets up, you dare not to look at anyone else. Especially that other darling.

It seems like they were punished too.

Nobunaga

Why the hell are you ruining everything for yourself?

He's a very moody and emotional person. Seeing you enjoy yourself with that other person will make him extremely envious and agitated.

If you're REALLY enjoying it then things will take a turn for the worst.

Nobunaga will walk up to the two of you and intimidate the other partner. The yandere of that partner will most likely not take kindly to that, and they will start to have a verbal dispute.

Chrollo will have to silence the two and might even toss a coin to decide what to do about the outburst.

When you two get home, you will be heavily interrogated. If you don't declare your very existence and devotion to your "relationship", then off to the lions you go.

Nobunaga always makes punishment personal; Insulting you and putting words in your mouth. Never leaves you alone and makes it a point to let you know how much you hurt him, and how bad he is going to hurt you.

But if you are simply having small talk, then Nobunaga will pull you aside and tell the yandere to keep their partner away from his lover.

The yandere will most likely agree or wave off to his demands, and keep what's theirs to themselves.

His grip is swift and harsh. You feel like a brick in calloused hands waiting for an open opportunity.

Nobunaga doesn't think before he acts in social situations. His feelings take over and his sword swerves up and around, aimed towards person contradicting his own view.

He is greedy, not selfish.

Safe to say that you now don't open your mouth at meetings anymore unless you're told to…

Franklin

Eh as long as you're happy and not doing anything stupid.

He knows you need to talk to someone else other than himself. You are human after all.

Franklin will question you about your conversations. He secretly hopes you talked about him in a flattering light, but he knows that most likely was not a subject brought up.

Unless you want to get smart and start conspiring, you best not let him hear in on too much or find out.

Franklin is an observer and only acts when needed. His quiet and large stature is enough to intimidate most, so when he tells you he knows, confess and apologize as if you life depended on it.

He is a very patient, rational and calculating man, so he knows what you need when you need it.

It's better to stay docile rather than to mess up because you thought you could fool him. Did you think just because you found an easy way out, that you had even the slightest chance of keeping it a secret from him? Franklin of all people?

The man who is basically the troupe's second leader, the man who literally shoots nen bullets out of his hands, the man who could SNAP YOU IN HALF if he wanted to.

Punishment is not as bad as it would be if you actually did escape, but it still resulted in you being closed off to others much more than to him.

But other than that he doesn't mind you a few friends here and there. Just as long as you're loyal to him, he carries on without much issue.

Isn't the jealous type. More possessive.

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after-witch · 15 days

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HIIIII first of all i really really REALLY loved that vampire chrollo fic! as soon as i saw it was you with that word count i just KNEW i was in for a really good ride 😩

secondly, i just wanna clarify what chrollo did to reader? since they aren’t exactly a vampire yet but was able to heal like one, what are they? what happened?

lastly! normal chrollo is already so terrifyingly hard to defy, but vampire! chrollo is really on a different level with his stupidly enchanting voice and orders. but that brings me to this thought: when reader turns into a vampire, will they have the same abilities? if so, how would the dynamics be then given the fact that they could just order each other around? i think having vampire! reader would just be a really great case of headache and chaos for vampire! chrollo and my head is spinning with ideas. thank you so much for writing that wonderful piece! i hope you’re doing well <3

hi! I'm glad you liked the fic!!

For clarification: essentially, Chrollo made reader into a Renfield-type situation, where they are healed by his blood, and now they are bound to him--bound to obey him, stay with him, etc.

Prior to ingesting Chrollo's blood, Chrollo could manipulate them, but reader was able to (a few times) kind of shake out of it--it wasn't a total obedience thing, just Chrollo using his manipulative powers. Now, because Chrollo made them drink his blood, they have to obey his orders and cannot disobey them.

So kind of a shit situation in general!

I imagine for this particular AU, vampires all have different abilities. So they would gain abilities but they wouldn't be the same as Chrollo's, necessarily.

Though, perhaps it could be like What We Do in the Shadows, where all vampires could theoretically have similar abilities, but some are better at them than others... like Viago is not great at hypnotizing, lol.

I would imagine in this world that a vampire has some sort of subservience to their maker, whether it's a literal built-in subservience (let's say, they literally can't harm their maker) or something that seems to come naturally... like an animal instinct.

Chrollo would still be in for a headache if they were a vampire, though I think he would think the process through if he were to go that route with reader. It wouldn't be a light decision.

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kimbap-r0ll · 1 year

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Hello🥰

Is it possible to do the adult trio having a S/O that can steal others ablities? :O

Headcannons please!

Hm, this is interesting, I'm sticking with nen abilities for this one. Here's a few, thank you for the ask!

Adult trio with an s/o who can steal other nen abilities

Hisoka

You have a similar power to Chrollo, but how you steal and use those abilities is going to be what sets you apart. Perhaps this is why he first got interested in you

Hisoka, sadly, isn't really one to be affectionate in a traditional-sense. He's going to show it in the form of battling, so be prepared to be asked for a few spars on many occasions. This is a horrible thought but you might want to make sure that he's not using you as a practice round for Chrollo's fight with him 😓

Hisoka, though he may be your love interest, shouldn't be trusted with knowing your nen abilities in case he decides to spill some beans. For example, if you are part of the troupe and a certain chain user is looking for potential targets, Hisoka might tell the revenge-seeking Kurta

Other than the potential for back-stabbing, Hisoka will still be respectful to some degree. He will definitely do pda when he can, but if you need some time for yourself I see him respecting that much.

Illumi

Illumi likely met you because of either a. you were assigned to marry him or b. you happened to be Hisoka's "friend." Either way, Illumi will be curious about your abilities

Whether or not you tell him how it works is up to you. Just know that most nen users don't share full details about their special moves! Illumi might not tell you his own nen abilities fully, just the basics like that he's a manipulator who uses needles

Illumi won't be super caring in public and he won't use pda at all. However, if he's someone that he truly has an obsession with (I can't really say love since his version of love is a bit twisted), I can see him sticking around you as much as he can

Other than your abilities, it will be how much you listen and cooperate with him that makes him feel as though you two are in a relationship. He's a manipulator after all, so just be aware of that

Chrollo

Similar abilities! I wonder if he will be interested in stealing yours too, just to see what it does in terms of his own

He's probably the most normal out of the three, definitely someone who is capable of going on normal dates and other couple activities. However, he may be tricking you so that he can steal your nen ability, so just be on guard!

If you were part of the troupe to start with, he won't attempt to trick you. He's a bit more protective in that case, and you see this more and more as the number of troupe members slowly shrink ;-;

He loves you for who you are, but it really depends on your background and connections to him. He won't care too much about your nen if you convince him that you two are capable of a healthy relationship, but you may never know what he's thinking because of his more or less manipulative nature

#hxh #hunter x hunter #hxh imagines #hxh scenarios #hxh headcanons #hxh x reader #gn!reader #anon ask #adult trio #hisoka #hisoka x reader #illumi #illumi x reader #chrollo #chrollo x reader #hisoka headcanons #illumi headcanons #chrollo headcanons

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dapastelrk · 1 year

Note

Hii

I was wondering if u could do a adult trio headcannons where their s/o isn't really interested in them at first.

Have a great day/night <3

hello there

i enjoyed writing this one

Adult Trio x reader who isn't interested in them at first

Adult Trio x Gn! reader

Hisoka

-"why wouldn't you be interested in him?" that's what he question everytime you reject him or act like you aren't interested in him

-makes lots of jokes around you just to make you smile/laugh

-he will even stalk you just to see if you are seeing someone else

-if you are really seeing someone else he would kill that person

-if you are out in a club he will be there and ask you to dance with him or to have a drink with him

-the amounts of times you see him naked "on accident"

-he is extremely happy when you accept his invitation to go on a date with him

-if he sees that you don't share the same feelings he will give up, he is attractive and he knows that he can get others people to like him

Illumi

-he will be very confused

-"why aren't you sharing the same feelings as him?"

-nobody told him about these kinds of relationships when the feelings aren't mutual

-he will give you lots of expensive gifts

-he will be following you like a puppy

-he already knows almost everything about you (hobbies, family if you have any, friends etc)

-he will try some of your hobbies to impress you (he is extremely good at it)

-will ask his mother for some advice but she suggests to implant a needle into your brain and to manipulate you but he rejects

-after the conversation with his mother he will ask his dad for advice , I can see silva being embarrassed by illumi's question about dating so silva didn't help illumi that much

-Fortunately zeno gives Illumi some advice about love and things like that and he really won your heart with that (or he wish that will happen)

-he feels something warm inside him when you accept his invitations but he will never recognize it

-if you don't fall for him he will try his mother's advice

Chrollo (i love this man but i can't stop bullying him😭😭)

-truly an gentleman

-will court you in the most beautiful way possible

-will kiss your hand , will give you roses (he hopes you are not allergic to roses), will drive you home to make sure you are safe

-will write some letters for you (he doesn't know how to write actually so he will ask Pakunoda to write the letters )

-will make a good impression in front of your friends/family

-he is a good listener, he will always listen to you

-if you ever feel bad or had a bad day, this guy knows how to comfort you

- if you don't accept his feelings , he will give up and get drunk, when he is drunk will call you just to ask you for another chance

-if you accept his invitation out he will be more than happy

#hunter x hunter headcanon #anime #hunter x hunter #hxh 2011 #hxh headcanons #chrollo headcanons #hisoka #hisoka headcanons #illumi headcanons #illumi zoldyck #hxh headcanon #chrollo lucilfer x reader

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ddarker-dreams · 1 year

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Your latest yan-kazuha fic has me in complete disarray. I had finally reached the quest to inazuma and instantly became infatuated with him (once more I might add-) and considering I've read (almost all I believe) your yandere (Fics/Drabbles?) With him involved, I was extremely curious as to how he uh..kidnapped (IT FEELS SO STRANGE SAYING THAT IN A SENTENCE) the reader. Safe to say I was pleasantly surprised to see you had written an entire fic for him recently and thought "yeah, maybe this is the day we finally cave since he's been so sweet despite the predicament he's put us in". NOPE. WRONG. The plot twist was insane and the way it was worded?!?! I NEVER saw it coming. Perfectly done.

This is exactly how I looked:

Now I can't sleep-

HONESTLY that picture is exactly how i looked when i thought of the idea for the end of the story... i was like man this is too evil, isn't it... it's just too unfair... which is exactly why i had so much motivation to write it. i was hype thinking about the moment where the reader realizes what's happen and goes oh. i frequently write a reader/MC that i feel like has been dealt the worst hand, but honestly, panacea's MC might just take the cake for unluckiest.

thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, this was definitely the reaction i was hoping for JGEKRM <333

AAA thank you so much <33

i tried to slap some foreshadowing in there, although i always consider that literary device to be one of my weakest 😭 i vacillate between thinking “is this just too pretentiously vague?” and “this is so heavy-handed it’s embarrassing.” my two main moods.

yan kazuha is one of my favorite yandere characters to explore. i almost consider him a black sheep of sorts compared to the types i usually gravitate toward. the charismatic and ready-to-give-their-darling-a-midlife-crisis yans are who i normally have the most fun writing, but kazuha... he’s special. intentional manipulation isn’t really his thing, it’s more of a byproduct from how unassuming he acts. i always have a rough idea of how i want my readers to feel during/after they finish a story. for characters like chrollo and scaramouche, i am for that “wow he’s awful i hate him (affectionate)” response, but for kazuha, it’s “wow he’s kinda pathetic i still kinda hate him though (very affectionate).”

reader wasn’t hallucinating! the metal cling was indeed the hydro vision that they received, instead of just putting pressure on kazuha’s wound, they inadvertently healed him with their freshly received vision.

honestly yan kazuha is the type to fake getting hurt just to see if it might bring out some caring traits from his darling hnjtkmegr that wasn’t what i had in mind when i was writing the story but it’s a very interesting concept nonetheless 👀

AHH thank you very much <3333 i’m wishing you a good 2023 as well!!

‘(i love when he gets pathetic)’ LMAOTJGENRK you’ll see a lot of that in my yandere kazuha works... the guy has next to no shame... he radiates this ‘i’m just happy to be here’ vibe whenever he’s beside his darling. even if he’s dying. what a dude. you’re right about that being how he’ll interpret it, he’s already the type to try and subtly spin things in his favor. this gives him a lot of material to work with. it’s very likely that reader is going try and get rid of the vision!! although, according to keqing’s character stories, it’s almost like the beherit from berserk ... there seems to be no way of permanently getting rid of a vision. that shade of blue will continue to haunt them forevermore.

#sweet asks #answered #ka-tt #Anonymous

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cats-closet · 2 years

Text

Chrollo post again

I don't know why I just thought of this but consider Yan!Chrollo trying to use darlings insecurities to manipulate them but it back fires.

Hear me out on this, it doesn't apply to every personality right but me personally I imagine that he might subtly try to be like oh 'I for one actually think [insert physical insecurity] is beautiful' ya know just really backhanded. This for alot of people would work and make them feel kinda like not many other people would feel this way about them so maybe Chrollos the best option for them or whatever.

BUT ME PERSONALLY? I would not let that slide. I instead like to imagine a darling that takes that sort of thing a little differently. Yk Chrollo is very handsome and if he's stealing or manipulating his spouse into a relationship anyways he could get whoever he wants! So why doesn't he ,':/ ??? It's unbelievable to imagine that someone like Chrollo would love and choose someone like darling! You'd maybe say this probably get kinda heated over it too and overall it makes his motives far more suspicious and establishes a loss of trust. Can't trust him if you can't figure out why he's doing this!

That would more or less be the opposite effect he was going for. He wanted you to feel more attached to him but has instead pushed you away by upsetting you! You won't accept affection anymore (assuming you were before), you're more prone to getting a lil rude and snapping, probably about how it doesn't make sense why he'd choose you of all people or how he'd be better off tossing you out and picking someone better, ect. Just overall more combative.

Now, Chrollo has to switch it up. He fucked up when he profiled you like that. Now he has to switch tactics and try to raise your self esteem. There's a few different methods he might approach whether it's direct or not. Maybe he'd just start outright complimenting you or subtly growing a little more handsy and affectionate.

To make it dramatic I like to think it would culminate to an emotional break with you start going on about how he must be lying, and he couldn't possibly love someone like you the way he claims. Crossing your arms, gritting your teeth, maybe shaking a little from the strong emotions.

Then Chrollo just, stops you, holds you tight and assures you that there's no one in the world he loves more :'(.

He starts going on and on about some of the things he likes about you, some romantic and kind of confusing notions about true love, probably putting on a good act of sincerity as well. Maybe his voice shakes a little, he tightens his hold a little and turns his head towards your face.

Ofc you're completely stiff, maybe crying, shaking a little, still pretty mad but he's got you shocked right now. Chrollo at some point maneuvers your arms to wrap around him and from there you just crumble. He reassures you of his love and admiration for you while your hands cling to the back of his shirt, you're breaking down and crying into his shirt cause like :'''(((( this stressful, emotional turmoil that's been bothing you is being dismantled in a way. (Even though he's the one that aggravated it but shhh)

You might even still be denying his honesty but it's weaker now. He rubs your back and continues to softly promise his true love for you :(((((((.

Now FINALLY Chrollo has you in the state he wants you, he got you vulnerable and attached to him, he just needed to go about it the right way. Who knows, maybe he planned this from the start but either way he got what he wanted and you're now effectively emotionally manipulated! Yippee!!!

#hxh #chrollo #chrollo x reader #yandere chrollo

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ataraxiaspainting · 6 months

Text

Hier Encore I.

Yan Chrollo x F Reader.

Synopsis: Yorknew Police Department Headquarters, 1995, April 10th. You are a director of public safety. The Phantom Troupe attacks the headquarters and takes you under the guise of a hostage situation. Even when the ransom is paid, you are never returned and assumed to be dead. After thirteen months of captivity, in 1996, on May 9th, you escape and try to learn how to live again somewhere far away from your captor. The payment of freedom comes with a steep cost, one that stains your hands so much that even if you drown them in bleach, the stain will remain there for the rest of your life.

Warnings: Yandere themes, kidnapping, the reader is described as AFAB and uses she/her pronouns respectively, not SFW implications, misogynistic undertones (not from Chrollo), manipulation, references to religion, violence/gore, minor character death, and past stalking.

Word Count: 18k.

Ten Songs Like This Piece:

Lacrimosa by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

4:00 A.M. by Taeko Onuki

My Girlfriend Is a Witch by October Country

Michelle by Sir Chloe

Sonne by Rammstein

Enemy by Imagine Dragons

Venus Fly Trap by MARINA

Maneater by Nelly Furtado

cult leader by KiNG MALA

Teacher’s Pet by Melanie Martinez

"She looked like a vixen, and that’s what she was; she had all the instincts of a female fox. She was the proverbial predatory female. She had what she wanted, now, and she was content. There was just the getting completely away with it that counted.” – Gil Brewer, Sin for Me

i. “Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow."

The sitting rooms in these types of hotels have always been your favorite place to sit because of the scenery. There is almost always a large window overlooking whatever city you are temporarily placed in with your captor, making everything below you seem insignificant. You see nothing other than your faded reflection in the window and blinking city lights that are so small they seem like a city of stars. At the same time, you can only touch the framed glass panes or the couch you are sitting on. You can only hear Chrollo’s pleased hums and the occasional page-turning of his current novel. You cannot feel or hear the world outside, no matter how much you try to imagine such.

When you were working, you would use your phone to notify others of what you were doing at work or when you would arrive home, but now you can't feel your pants pocket where the phone was usually kept. It would vibrate or chime loudly as its duty as your alarm and messenger. The phone, once opened, would relay your family members’ voices, or your boss’, or your assistants’. Even if some voices were secretly irritating to you before, you feel compelled to admit that they are better than hearing nothing other than the squeaky wheels of a room service cart or the air conditioner. You cannot feel the rest of your work uniform, a classic white dress shirt and black tie. You cannot hear your co-workers’ drunken laughs as they cheer with large glasses of beer in their hands. A small thud catches your attention, making you turn your head in that direction. Chrollo is putting his book down on the coffee table in front of you two. It is closed, with the cover facing upward, and the title in a foreign language. His cup is empty except for a few drops, having been previously filled with black coffee. Yours simply has room-temperature water, still filled to the brim. You make eye contact for a second or two, his eyes calm and composed. Chrollo breaks it as his arm reaches out towards his coffee cup. He picks it up with grace, sipping quietly before setting it back down on its porcelain saucer. A small smile forms on his pale lips as he looks at you.

"You seem rather bored, my dear. Would you mind conversing with me?”

“No, I would not mind.” You say, your lips moving to mimic his own with precision.

“Marvelous. Would you like to talk about anything in particular?” Chrollo asks, his left arm moving to rest on the couch.

“Anything you would like to discuss.”

“If you insist.” He places one of his legs over the other; his posture is relaxed but his stare is suddenly intense. “There is something I would like to ask of you. Tell me, do you enjoy being here with me?”

“I do. I needed some time to adjust, but I like it here. I have fewer responsibilities than what I used to have.”

“Wonderful.” Chrollo’s smile widens.

You know that he would not be pleased if you told him the truth; that you feel nothing for him aside from disdain. His softness would fade and give way to his true colors rapidly. An eye-catching crimson red specifically. It is the color of blood, danger, fire, some species of spiders and snakes… It is the color of danger and anger. Perhaps he would threaten to murder a dear friend of yours. Perhaps he would hit you. Perhaps he would isolate you even further by not returning for days at a time. Perhaps he will tie you to the bed. …Perhaps he will kill you. It would be easy, you know it from the bits of strength he has shown you. All it would take is a simple wave of his hand and–

“I enjoy having you here, beside me. Your presence is very comforting.” His eyes glimmer for what seems like less than a fifth of a second, a light that you learned only shows when he is curious about something.

“Did you want to ask me something?”

“I am glad you noticed.” His head tilts slightly to the side. “I do have something I want to ask you.”

“Well, what is your question?”

“Do you plan to try to run away from me?” His cold tone and facial expression are unlike the one he had a few moments ago.

“No. I do not.” You shake your head and take his hand gently. “What better place is there to be other than having you by my side?”

Chrollo’s eyes seem to soften at your answer. His posture returns to one of no worries. His shoulders are not as tense. His breathing is a bit steadier. He looks at your hand with a slight smile. He leans a bit towards you. He squeezes your hand lightly. You put your head on his shoulder to further convince him to believe the lie. Your captor hums with a pleased voice.

He is cold to the touch. It is like your hand is in a blizzard, a small warm flame surrounded by snow. There is a slight stinging sensation. It is colder than literal ice on your skin. Chrollo’s grip is tender yet strong, making it clear that he does not want to let go of your soft hand.

You feel his nose go into your hair and dare not do anything to stop it.

Your kidnapper inhales sharply and sighs fondly. His breath smells like mint; sharp, fresh, and cool. To distract yourself from the unpleasant truth, you look around the hotel room. There is a rose bouquet in front of you two, still fresh since you both arrived this morning. They are a deep burgundy color, similar to that of the city lights outside. The glass they were placed in is intricate with flower markings. The coffee table is rosewood by the looks of it, most likely polished right before you two came. The curtains on the sides of the large window are a fawn brown, obviously to match the roses. The carpet is a beige with chocolate brown swirl patterns on it. You try to follow one with your eyes but get lost in it after a few seconds. The couch you two are sitting on is beige as well. Perhaps the reason why this room is so dull is because of how colorful the city outside of it is. Designs like this are probably why this city has so many tourists. Either that or Chrollo chose its blandness specifically because he still wanted an aura of superiority, both literally with how high the hotel room is above and in spirit with the colors. It is ironic, but Chrollo’s white dress shirt is the brightest thing inside this room. You wonder if his clothing choice was on purpose too.

You know yours was. A black dress that stops just before your knees, with gold earrings and anklet. It is a part of your plan to lower his guard. You just washed your hair a few hours ago and put on a bit too much perfume. You walk with confidence yet not too much of it. It is similar to how you used to dress when you went to parties hosted by members of high society, tasked to butter them up a little to the higher-ups’ requests for funding public safety projects. Those people were pompous for certain, but still childish and easily fooled. Chrollo, on the other hand, is pompous but intelligent and a manipulator himself, hence why you have done this dance for the past thirteen months for him to lower his guard. You think it is working, but it is not time to escape just yet.

There are still matters that must be attended to. Like a possible escape route. You know that if you try to escape Chrollo in this hotel he will catch you quite quickly since this room is so small and he will for sure notice if the only hotel key is missing. Also, you note that you cannot know for sure whether or not Chrollo fully trusts you at this point. You plan to ask him to take you on a date tomorrow and then run away once you see an area with much fewer people. You will hide a change of clothes in your purse and change your appearance. You will use a false name from then on. You will try to notify your loved ones about your whereabouts and tell them to move within a few days to be safe just in case the Troupe knows where they live. Then you will try to go north then east using the money you have secretly been stealing from him. If he says no or still has a tight grip on you throughout the day, you will not try to escape that day and try within a few more months. You will repeat this process until you have escaped successfully. You must make sure that you have loosened Chrollo’s grip on you enough, otherwise, he will catch you quickly. Who knows what will happen after that? Who knows if you will ever get this chance again? The answer is most likely never.

“Your scent… it’s nice.” Chrollo whispers.

You bat your eyelashes at him as a response.

Chrollo’s eyes appear to be full of adoration. Your makeup is fully done, a style that you know your captor likes. Winged black eyeliner. Black eyeshadow. Dark red lipstick. Your hair is in a braid with your bangs just slightly covering your eyes. Your nails are painted a color to match your eyes.

Deep down, you worry if this is enough, too much, or too little. If it is too much, he will catch on fast, and you will pay dearly for the consequences. If it is too little, he shall not be impressed and not take you outside tomorrow. It has to be just right. Chrollo leans in closer, still making eye contact as you bat your lashes. His hand is still grabbing onto yours, but it seems to have gotten a little warmer because of the heat of your own. Either that, or you had gotten used to it.

“You truly are a sight… My girl…” Chrollo’s other hand makes its way to your cheek. There is a strong scent of flowers coming off of you. He leans in more until his face and yours are just inches apart. “You smell lovely… Let me taste you.”

You hide your disgust and nod your head.

Chrollo’s lips touch yours. The cold hand that was holding yours also makes it upward toward your other cheek and squeezes lightly. His fingers are thicker than yours. His fingernails are in pristine condition as usual. His wrists are bony. His skin looks callused, but in actuality, it is quite soft. There aren’t any scars or injuries on them, which is remarkable considering what he does for a living. You wonder if those he killed had touched his soft skin and thought they were being strangled by silk instead of actual human hands. His lips are soft too. Chrollo’s kisses always were elegant and gentle, but you think that is because you have tried your hardest to not disobey him. You wonder if the people Chrollo extorted information out of knew the touch of his lips. At least some of them knew, you think. Chrollo is attractive to many people, both rich and poor. He had told you a few stories such as when he had a sexual relationship with an older woman who had a high-paying role in government and one day he ran off with all of the riches in her safe. She died soon after. Chrollo says she died of a broken heart. You don’t know whether he meant she was mentally heartbroken and was joking with you or she had her heart mangled by Chrollo during her last few minutes alive. You don’t think you want to know the answer either.

Chrollo’s tongue starts to trace your lower lip with greed. You feel your heart nearly skip a beat. Let me out, you want to say. Let me out. It feels like you are black and blue all over from all the tall hurdles you had to jump through to make it this far. A voice in the back of your mind says that the outside will never heal your wounds, but giving in would. It is better to just give up, it speaks in the back of your mind with a forked tongue and unsettlingly calm tone. It would be better to just accept it. Perhaps Stockholm Syndrome is settling in, or it is just your hope for the future withering away.

Your kidnapper bites slightly on your lower lip and looks deeply into your eyes. His pupils are dilated.

You look down at his lips and notice the hue of your dark red lipstick.

Chrollo doesn’t seem to care as he pulls your face towards his own again. Either that or he did not notice it, but it is unlikely considering how perceptive he is. His cold hands hold your warm face in place as you feel his hot breath tickle your nostrils. His elbows go underneath your armpits and stab into the couch. You hear nothing except for his breathing because you look at the clock on the wall to distract yourself yet again. It is nearly midnight.

Your perfume smells like dahlias and roses, which Chrollo has mentioned liking on you before.

His right hand pushes your right cheek into the arm of the couch and he starts to suck and bite your neck.

Your skin is soft as usual, looking like porcelain.

Chrollo has complimented it before. He has complimented your scent before. He has complimented your makeup before. He has complimented your hair before. You look beautiful, there is always a genuineness in his tone that would make you feel slightly sick like you were going to throw up whatever expensive fruit or chocolate you had eaten. You would never voice it though, because that would mean all the progress you have made to lower his guard would be for nothing. It would only make him test your sufferance further by doing unspeakable acts against you or your loved ones. The only weapons he has not taken away from you are your tactical mind and honeyed words. If you play them correctly, you will eventually escape and live a somewhat peaceful life.

Chrollo moves upward toward your ear and nibbles at your lobe softly. “You are so beautiful, my precious.” He whispers. “So beautiful…” His perfume smells like sandalwood and musk. “Like a doll. Truly, you’re quite the sight to see…” Chrollo purrs.

His fingers trace the top of your hair.

“Like silk. So soft and gentle…” His fingers dance downward on your braid, twisting back and forth. “The shampoo I chose for you was a good choice.”

You smile.

“White jasmine…” A sweet and soft scent. Swirls of saccharine and fruit. A slight tart smell of citrus. Universally ambrosial paired with the bitter words that leave your syrup-covered lips; making a charming palette of a flavor similar to that of biting into a square of dark chocolate mixed with orange zest. The texture is not ever strange because of how well-crafted the chocolate is. It is not difficult to swallow but doesn’t melt in the mouth too fast either. The delicacy’s flavor stays in the mouth even after it is fully dissolved, coating each tooth in a substance that has a lovely bittersweet taste like honey mixed with black tea. “It suits you.”

*~*~*~*

1995, April 10th. The Phantom Troupe targeted the Yorknew Police Department Headquarters, one of the largest public safety headquarters in the world, killing 1,891 people.

A lot of them were on the lower floors, scampering away to locked exits like stray, captured cats, clawing and screaming at the metal doors to open. You sometimes envy them, for their time with the Troupe was short. They knew how their fate was going to end; swift and twisted. A quick punch. A sudden stab. A loud blast of a firearm. They knew how they were going to die. They comforted each other as they were ripped limb from limb.

You don’t know how you are going to die, or when you are going to die. You could die in a few seconds, a few months, or a few years. You could die by being shot, being poisoned, or being strangled. No one came to comfort you, and no one comforts you now. No one listened to your struggles and cries for help as you were pushed in a black car, gagged and restrained. No one helped you in one of your most desperate moments.

You are tired of doing everything with the person that made your life a living hell. You want to go back to eating dinner at a restaurant and not feel an unwanted hand on your thigh. You want to go back to sleep with a loose arm around you and not a strangling one. You want to go back to talking to someone you like about a topic you like and not think your every move toward freedom is a gamble.

1995, April 10th. The Phantom Troupe targeted the Yorknew Police Department Headquarters, one of the largest public safety headquarters in the world, killing 1,891 people, leaving very few people to tell others of the tale. Perhaps you count, but you are presumed dead by the outside world so it wouldn’t matter anyhow. You are all alone and stuck in a situation akin to limbo.

*~*~*~*

Chrollo keeps batting his eyelashes at you across the dining table.

His hair is well-kept, he is wearing a fancy suit, and his nearly black eyes are wider and brighter than when you saw him last. It is well past sunset, the sky outside the window a murky, livid color. He is humming now, staring at you rather than the uncut steak in front of him. You are about to stop playing with your food when–

“Black is a good color on you.”

Your head jerks up. His eyes are even more vivid, and focused, while yours are uncertain. Your hand stops moving your fork to your mouth and falls back to the table lifelessly.

“Your dress,” he smiles.

“I…” You look down and close your eyes. You have to force your shoulders not to shake by thinking of happier times in your life. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” You refuse to look at him for it will show what you are feeling. Your heart beats so fast that you feel like you are about to go into cardiac arrest. “I have something for you, after dinner.”

He has just come back from another successful heist in this city. It makes sense.

“I’m not very hungry, Chrollo.”

He hums. “You are going to go hungry.” You hear him place his cup of wine back onto the table. “At least eat the radish soup. You need to eat your vegetables.”

As if brought to existence by his words, you smell the bowl of vegetable soup beside the uneaten steak. You mostly smell the tartness of the tomato slices, big and bright. Mint comes second, fresh yet light compared to the tomato smell. You don’t smell the radish, though, despite the chunks of them being large enough to hardly fit in your spoon.

You open your eyes and lift your hand to pick up the spoon in the bowl. You take a piece of radish in your mouth, quickly chewing the peppery vegetable.

You still refuse to look at your captor. You just try to focus on eating the soup so you can at least temporarily avoid his gaze. You are never this nervous when you are about to try to manipulate someone into doing what you say, but Chrollo’s eye for tactics is about the same as yours. When you are almost done with your soup, you suddenly hear Chrollo’s chair move, followed by footsteps.

“You’re nervous.”

You shake your head and take the last bite of your soup. “I am not. I am just thinking about something, dear.”

He grabs the hand that was holding your spoon. His thumb makes circles around your own.

You take some of the quietest and quickest deep breaths and look at Chrollo, the corners of your mouth turning upwards into another deceitful smile. “You don’t need to worry about me. You already work hard enough as it is.”

Chrollo hoists you up and hugs you.

The window gives way to the starless night sky as dark as obsidian–the moon a slight crescent, and a snow white. It floats atop the carefully cut trees onto their tips and stays there, like a strung puppet in a finished puppet show, unmoving until called upon again by its master.

“What is my beautiful [First] worried about?” He murmurs.

“I was examining something.” Your fingertips graze against his palm. You plan to recreate the classic dance of Black Swan Pas de Deux, with you taking on the role of Odile. “Something most peculiar.” Your hand clasps onto his. “I am like a train. I can only run anywhere my rails take me. I suppose you are a new track I have yet to explore, and the only option is to move wherever it is you take me.” His hand feels warm, but not warm enough to comfort others. “It has been an unexpected journey with many stops, but it is my purpose to keep moving forward until the end. The end’s length feels far and I feel that only through death would the tracks cusp.” You stand up straighter than before and your breath echoes in his ear. “People focus more on the train’s condition than the tracks but the tracks are the most important part of the journey. Without tracks, trains would not exist. So, Chrollo…” You feel comfortably numb and not as timid as you were a few minutes ago. “How do you feel?”

You look into your captor’s eyes, and all you see is hell. The very gates of hell in the eyes of a human being. When judgment passes, all of your sins shall be weighed. The only way for your sins to disappear before that day is to lie.

The Devil himself is waiting for the moment when your mask shatters and gives way to a horrid monstrosity. Only then can he punish you for your misdeeds.

“...How I feel, huh?” Long, silent fingers move like a spider’s legs up and down your back. He is now reciprocating your dance by playing the role of Prince Siegfried. The gramophone plays Beethoven’s Für Elise. “I think you're a fascinating woman, darling.” His tone is gentle, contrasting with the usual coldness and detachment he carries so often. He moves his other hand to the side of your face and gently caresses your cheeks. “You're smart, creative, and strong. You have a unique charm that sets you apart from everyone else.”

Like a rose, Chrollo’s thorns and stunningly beautiful features cut deep into both your psyche and the world around you. He has spent what feels like years trying to pluck your petals off one by one in a game of effeuiller la marguerite, the logic behind it being a bizarre combination of many things. His stalk, the axis that connects all his reasons, would be simple curiosity. He was curious to find out where your traits stemmed from, what and who made you the way you are today if you were hiding something nefarious behind that bright smile and kind voice of yours, and thus began his hunt for more knowledge. His calyx, a shield made of his in the form of sepals, represents how protective he is of his deepest, darkest secrets. He has buried them all beneath a temple of fake phlegmatism and honesty. The petals of his biggest and most colorful flower lead his admirers astray so they could never uncover the real Chrollo, which you think is a mercy in itself. Most of those who have seen his true self are buried along with it soon enough.

You want to take a lighter and light him ablaze so that he shall never reroot in the soil around him. The only way you can do such a thing is to play a game of effeuiller la marguerite as well. This is the path you must take to get your freedom back.

The key is to follow the hidden rules.

That means doing things you find repulsive but he finds lovely.

That means kissing him when he comes back. That means letting him do what he wants with your body. That means lying straight to his face when saying you are attracted to him. It will all be worth it in the end, you tell yourself.

You hum, acting like those words that leave his mouth are the things you want to hear the most.

“Those eyes, so grounded yet divine, are the only ones worthy of reverence.” His pale lips twirl upward like a ballet dancer’s arms. “I shall be honored if you choose me to be your apostle.”

“Do you see yourself when you gaze into my eyes, my beloved?”

“I do.” His voice seems breathless, almost drunk, his mind above the clouds and fantasizing about the future. Your eyes are similar to that of a small, round mirror that can reflect light just like the surface of a pond does.

“I see myself when I look at yours as well,” You sigh with a pseudo impression of an amorous tone. “I suppose we are meant to be together.” Like an elegant ballerina, you relevé. “So, Chrollo…” Your lips are so close to his. Your voice is hushed, calm, and teasing. “I have a favor to ask.”

His eyes light up with adoration, similar to how Romeo first saw Juliet at the Capulet ball.

“Ask me for anything you wish for and I shall see to it that it is done.” The hand that is on your back clenches it a bit more.

“I would like to go somewhere tomorrow.”

“Hm? Where would you like to go?” Chrollo’s tone is now a mix of curiosity and hopefulness.

“The planetarium.” Your thumb circles his. “That is if you’d like to oblige my request.”

“Of course.” His fingers curl into yours. He smiles as he speaks, his tone soft and sweet. “I’d like to go to the planetarium with you, especially since you have such a desire to go.” There is a twinkle in his eyes.

“Perhaps afterward we can go to a cafe and sit in the park?”

“That sounds like an excellent plan.” He casts you an unfamiliar glance before your lips meet. You start to back away as he lets go of you, and you pick up your glass of water. You take a few sips before setting it back down on the table.

The absence of sound doesn't please you, as the music from the gramophone has ceased and Chrollo seems lost in thought. However, you're not bothered enough to not enjoy the silence. You are envisioning a future of peace, where your captor never finds you again.

Donned in velvet attire and sipping on tea, you frequent the sandy shores, observing the ebb and flow of the ocean. Undisturbed, you create music with your violin for an audience of one; yourself. A life of uttermost pleasure.

“I shall prepare for tomorrow, then.”

Chrollo nods with a satisfied hum.

“Very well.”

You slink off into the bedroom, grab your purse, and pack the money you had stolen from Chrollo’s jackets and pants. It is not much, but it should be enough to cover travel fees. You also pack more comfortable clothes and shoes to run in. They are clothes you have never worn, so they are the clothes most likely to not be recognized by him. You lay out a fancier outfit over your purse to hide it.

Now all there is to do now is wait.

*~*~*~*

“Get in.”

Your mouth is gagged with a tied scarf and your hands are restrained with handcuffs. There is no warmth in the monster of a man’s tone. There is only an open car door and a forceful push. Later, a slamming sound.

You are covered in blood, your supervisor’s blood–he tried to use you as a shield against the intruders but was met with a bullet to the head–so much blood. Your dress shirt is as red as a traffic light or a ladybug, though you would prefer the traffic light because you signal to those still dying not to scream anymore, that there was no point in trying to delay the inevitable. There are small pieces of his flesh inside your mouth, you are certain of it considering that you can taste something metallic and flabby. Multiple small, flabby things. Your colleagues’ screams still ring in your ears; they hurt so much.

You can still hear the crunching of their smashed skulls and bones, the alarms, the emergency protocol announcement, the gunshots, the loud severing and ripping of muscle and fat, and–

“Greetings.” A voice, calm and placid. A man sitting beside you, visibly comfortable with one of his legs over the other. He moves his left arm and clicks your seatbelt into place, then does the same with his own.

A blaring statement outside the car. “Two billion Jenny and she’ll be set free,” one of the thieves said, probably the one that pushed you into the car, “if we aren’t paid by next week she dies.”

“Do not worry.” The man beside you speaks in a lulling tone. “It is simply a ploy. We won’t kill you, I will make sure of it.”

You look down at your legs and shoes, considering what to do or say if the gag is ever taken off.

A firm grip on your shoulder and a say of your name makes you look at him again. His eyes are filled with nothing but obsession and make your heart stop beating for a split second. “If I take this gag off of you, do you promise not to scream?”

You nod, because what choice do you have other than being compliant?

There is a pleased hum and a praise you cannot exactly remember, then the scarf is off and on the floor of the car.

“I should introduce myself, shouldn’t I?” A warm chuckle. “My name is Chrollo, and… for now, just let me say that we are going to get to know each other quite a bit.”

*~*~*~*

“Stars are such wonders, aren’t they, dearest?”

You give an impressed hum as you look around and sit in your seat beside Chrollo. The room soon goes dark as the public speaker starts talking.

There is a single spotlight on her that is a bright white which contrasts with the pitch-black room. She bows as some of the audience claps, you included. You don’t think Chrollo clapped, though.

“It's been estimated by astronomers that there could be as many as one septillion stars in the universe.”

“Yet there is only one of you,” Chrollo whispers in your ear.

The announcer speaks with a proud yet modest tone, not being too outward yet not being too quiet to not draw any attention to herself. “The Milky Way galaxy is home to over 100 billion stars, with the Sun being the most well-known.”

You are not the moon above, you aren’t even a star. You are simply a piece of an asteroid, soon to fade to dust in the cold, cruel darkness of space.

You look at him and smile. He smiles back at you.

“The creation of this universe brings me joy, for it has led me to cross paths with you.” The spherical walls light up and turn a dark blue and fill with holographic stars and meteors. “I’m glad.”

“These fiery balls are composed primarily of hydrogen, with traces of helium and other elements.” The speaker continues. “Each star has a unique lifespan, which can vary from millions to trillions of years, and their characteristics shift as they age.”

“The Sun is needed to sustain life in this galaxy, just like how I need you and you need me.”

You hum again and grab his hand gently. “You do not need to hang a legion of stars around yourself to show you are not Neptune, for I already know you are my Sun.”

“Should the sun disappear, the Earth would be devoid of light, warmth, and life.” It is like Chrollo had a vision of the future. “Initially, the planets would follow their orbits for a short while before eventually exiting the solar system. Although the sun's rays would continue to reach us for a brief eight-and-a-half minutes after its disappearance, the world would be plunged into darkness.”

“Within a week, temperatures would plummet to zero degrees Celsius, causing the demise of most flora and fauna.” Chrollo resumes. “As time passes, the atmosphere would also gradually disappear. The Sun is very important if you cannot tell.”

“I concur, beloved.”

“It’s a miracle the Sun’s warmth exists in the first place, or that this planet’s orbit was placed in the perfect environment.” Chrollo sighs peacefully, but you aren’t sure if he is in awe at the planetarium or you. “We wouldn’t have existed if this planet was made in a different area of the universe.”

“It is quite beautiful, isn’t it? Thanks to the Sun, now we have a bright future ahead of us all.”

His hand clasps onto yours. “I make a vow to you that our bond will never break, and we will remain inseparable for eternity.” His mouth is so close you feel like he is about to kiss your ear. “Do not worry about the details, for I shall take care of everything.”

*~*~*~*

There is one mirror. There are two hanging jackets. There are three lights above you. There are four paintings on the wall facing the entrance. Five vases contain your favorite flowers, two on the floor and three on the table. There are six rows of stone bricks, then carpet at the start of the stairs. Seven glass panes make up the decoration above the entryway. There are eight engravings on the locked wooden door, each of a flower or deer. Nine smells are coming from upstairs; garlic, cheese, tomato, onion, poultry, olive oil, butter, pasta, and basil. Let me out.

It’s dark outside, but the chandelier above provides enough light for you to see that the door is still locked. As much as you want to mask your real feelings from your captor, you have to acknowledge the fact that you cannot breathe. There is a call from upstairs. You put your book down on the sole chair. There are ten steps leading to the second floor.

There is one staircase leading to the third floor. There are two rooms: the living room and the kitchen. Three footsteps are approaching you. Four words leave Chrollo’s mouth, but you cannot remember them.

You cannot cry. You cannot do anything but smile and hug back. His embrace feels like it is burning your skin. He says something about your beauty. He grabs your hand gently. There are ten steps you take as he guides you to the stove.

There is one pot full of food. There are two plates. Three instruments are playing on the gramophone; violin, piano, and cello. There are four chairs near the kitchen table. There are five books, with one of them being an open cookbook. There are six candles on the table with the lights turned off. There are seven wrapped gifts on the table. There are eight seconds of Chrollo hugging you.

You unwrap the gifts. Matching necklaces with engraved names on them. A gold ring with rubies. A decorated photo of you taken from a Polaroid. A large box of your favorite chocolate. A butterfly pin. A velvet coat with a spider embroidered on the back. Chrollo’s smile almost makes you shudder.

There is one chair you sit in. There are two utensils before you; a fork and a knife. There are thoughts in your mind for three seconds; fantasizing about you stabbing him. There are four seconds of temptation before you ignore it. There are five seconds of silence before you say you love Chrollo. Gifts are celebrating six months of you being held captive. There are seven roses in the vase in the middle of the candles. There are eight bites you take of your food, and then force yourself to eat the rest through your nauseousness.

Let me out.

*~*~*~*

The nutty smell of coffee brings you a feeling of slight warmth and relaxation. The chalkboard above the barista reads Carte Du Jour with white words, listing off the assortment of pastries, coffees, teas, and fruit-flavored drinks. Chrollo is ordering for you two, spending what feels like an unnecessary amount of Jenny on pumpkin muffins, chocolate croissants, and two espressos. The barista audibly gasped when he gave her a tip that can best be described as more than what she would make in a week.

The two of you soon make your way to this city’s largest park and sit on a bench away from most people. There is a musician loudly playing clarinet nearby, but he is not close enough for you two to see him, and he is too invested in playing his instrument to notice anyone. The sun is well above the pond, making the ducks swimming in it almost glow. Chrollo is still holding the paper bag full of the pastries and his espresso, but you are holding yours in your hand.

He is still, visibly calm, and enjoying the sight.

You feel an invisible pressure on your neck. It’s just a knot in my throat, you think to yourself, closing your eyes. The sight of his stillness gifts you a veil of comfort so thin that if anyone were to touch it it would tear. I’m not going to die. But you can’t breathe.

Your heart tells you otherwise. You can feel, no, hear blood pulse to the very tips of your fingers. Your feet tell you otherwise. They are cold. They hurt. They are adhered to the ground. Your arms and legs tell you otherwise. There is nothing but pins and needles all over. This is your chance, the little voice in your head says with blind reassurance. Who knows when you will ever get this chance again? Do it now, and be quick about it. But you can’t breathe. You can’t breathe, and you have to try your hardest to stop the hand holding your espresso from shaking and falling on you.

“Thank you for taking me here,” You smile the best you can, as usual. You try to not focus on your memories of Chrollo’s observation skills. “You made my day. This is one of the best experiences I have had in a while.”

There is sweat going down your forehead. Chrollo nods his head and smiles. You’re afraid, and you never are afraid. His head leans forward until your noses are barely touching.

He is so close you can smell the mint in his mouth.

“Of course, my dear. It is an honor to have you in my life, after all.”

“I… would say the same.”

He lifts his head slightly. “Spending time with you is always a pleasure. I would commit the gravest sins if it meant having moments like this forever.” You know that he is being literal. That is the reason you nearly shudder.

He is leaning in closer. You want to run. You have to run.

He backs away after kissing you, and that is when you strike.

You throw your espresso on him, its lid on the bench. You don’t focus on his reaction, because you are running as fast as you can with your purse.

You toss your heels to the side of an unknown road when your feet start to bleed.

You change clothes in a rat-infested public restroom. You throw everything aside from your stolen money into a nearby lake in fear of a tracking device being on something. You cover the wounds on your feet with toilet paper and then put on sneakers.

You put your hair up in a bun and cover it with a hood.

You wash your makeup off using lake water.

You soon get on a bus. Then another.

You then eventually take a train. For nearly three days you stay, hardly eating out of fear of vomiting due to nervousness. You walk the rest on foot until you have reached somewhere far, far away from that city.

You steal money from those around you when needed. You threaten those around you when needed, threatening them to stay silent or their fate will end at your hands. You make use of a few kind-hearted people who let you into their homes when they see you, dirty and injured on the side of the road. They clean up your wounds, give you warm food, and you repay them with a simple, untrusting, and cold goodbye and leave without a trace.

You move from place to place every few hours.

Then you move from place to place every few days.

Eventually, you move from place to place every few months. You ultimately settle into a town by the seashore, under a fake alias. You move into a cabin by the beach with no warmth other than a few candles and no entertainment other than books or writing. You eat the cheapest food the local saloon sells that day.

The day you escaped was 1996, May 9th.

It is now 1997, August 3rd.

*~*~*~*

The speakers blare a sound akin to ambulance sirens. A man’s voice soon after, panicky and horrified.

He spoke of evacuating as soon as possible through the emergency exits. An infamous terrorist group is in the building, he said. Then the sound of a gunshot, cries for mercy, then another voice.

“Run, rabbits.” Whoever was speaking had confidence and arrogance.

Your supervisor stands up from his desk and his guards pull out their guns. You look around for a way out. Screams from outside the office. Flesh being ripped apart. The evacuation door was locked, as much as you and the guards pushed and pulled.

The main door was kicked open by a man taller than any you have seen, ripped apart by its hinges, and fell on the floor. The guards shot at him, but they reflected off of him like he was made of iron. He was fast, fast enough to smash their brains in with his mere fists. He laughed loudly, amused. Your supervisor grabbed you by your hair and put you in a chokehold.

A gun was put to your head.

He threatened to shoot you. The threat was met with a gunshot behind his head, his body falling on top of you as he cried out for mercy, and his blood covering you from head to toe as someone dressed in black slashed his body again and again.

You put your hands up and close your eyes, expecting the same fate as you hear his corpse falling off of you with a loud thud.

…

Instead, your wrists were grabbed and put in handcuffs. A hand on your shoulder and a pat.

“We can’t have damaged goods. You have been chosen to live… at least for now. Congrats.”

A push that blurred between light and strong. A walk out the office doors and to the elevator. A thumb pressing the down button. The elevator doors opened with an automated voice saying going down. Another button is being pressed, the doors closing, and jazz is playing.

One of them, the swordsman, asked how people working (or worked, really) could wait for an elevator every day to go to the top floor, saying how boring that would be if it was him. You cannot tell if he was joking with you or was genuinely curious. The elevator slowly goes down, the light at the top of the button selection decreasing from seventy to one. The doors open. Another push.

A walk out to the lobby.

“Oh, do you guys think that the pocket change from that dude will be enough to buy some snacks from the vending machines? I’m pretty hungry right now. Do you guys think so?”

A woman with magenta hair rolls her eyes and scoffs. “You are such a child, Uvo. You want to get snacks, now?”

Another scoff in response. “Hunger is part of the everyday human experience. Don’t think you are so above it, Machi.”

“Fine.” The swordsman speaks, clearly annoyed. He looks at you with a neutral expression. “Take her to the car and Feitan and I will get you snacks, my treat.”

The man wearing all black rolls his eyes.

“I never agreed to that.” He shakes his half-masked head. “I am also not hungry. We can also get food elsewhere. Vending machine food is expensive. Waste of money.”

Machi rolls her eyes in turn.

“Everyone is dead already.”

You are closing your eyes and imagining being somewhere else, anywhere else than here. A cafe. A ballet. Anywhere but here.

“I’m hungry.”

The swordsman punches him in the arm.

“Ow, Nobu!”

…

A man crawls on his arms towards you all, his legs ripped off. He cries out and curses as he coughs up blood. Curses for their family. Curses for eternal damnation. They are quickly snuffed out by Uvo’s punch and brain matter splatters all over the lobby floor.

Then silence.

The man called Nobu sighs, visibly exhausted. He looks at Uvo like he is two years old. He asks Uvo what snacks he wants. He responds with something meaty or cheesy, like jerky or something. An alright leaves Nobu’s thin lips and he asks you where the vending machines are.

You feel like you are about to soil yourself. Why the hell are they acting so normal after killing an entire building full of people? But with a shaky voice, you tell him that it should be on the 61st floor because that is where all the workers go to eat lunch.

A damn it leaves his mouth then, and another roll of his eyes. But he thanks you, and he and Feitan go back to the elevators.

Uvo and Machi stare at you.

“Listen,” Machi finally talks to you. She tries to smile, but it doesn’t bring you any comfort. If anything, you feel like you are about to cry more at the sight. She puts her hand on your shoulder. “We don’t want to hurt you. Far from it, if that helps.”

It doesn’t. You just look down at your feet.

A sigh. Another push.

“You could have tried to be more gentle, Uvo. Now she’s scared of all of us. What’s the boss gonna think?”

You stare at them. They glare at each other.

“Machi, she’s supposed to be our hostage, at least to the public eye.” He looks at the receptionist's desk, where the receptionist’s corpse lays, her neck bent to an acute angle. You look around for any possible escape route. You see one. The main entrance.

You run fast. Until you are outside. Uvo’s arm wraps around your waist and pulls you back.

“Listen. We do not want to hurt you. But we have to at least seem like we are rough handling you.” His hands go on your shoulders and make you walk towards a foreign black car. “Sorry. But it’s for the best. I promise.”

“Just put this on.” She wraps a scarf around your mouth, gagging you.

“Hey, you’ll have a good life from now on. Trust us with that, at least. You’ll be happier now.”

Uvo pushes you, hard, when he sees police cars approaching. He opens the car door. A malicious smile appears on his face, like a mask he has just put on.

“Get in.”

You hope that whatever is in store for you isn’t as bad as what your colleagues suffered.

*~*~*~*

There is a man around your age who goes out around the same time as you to smoke by the beach.

He has dark hair with a slight purple tint, making you assume that it is dyed. It looks long and it is swept to the side, except for a quarter of it which is shaved. He has near-black eyes, but they don’t look as intimidating as Chrollo’s. If anything, they look slightly sorrowful.

You go on the fishing dock as usual with a box of cigarettes and a lighter in your sweater pocket. The man is there, searching his own pockets and visibly frustrated.

“Do you want one of mine?”

He looks up at you. His eyes wander from your face downward towards your extended hand which holds an unlit cigarette. He doesn’t answer and just stares at it.

“I noticed you are looking in your pockets for one.” You smile, but as you usually do with fake kindness, not caring enough about him to get too close.

“I…” His eyes squint, slightly suspicious. Perhaps it takes a moment or two for him to realize you are talking to him. “Yes, thanks.”

“Hmm. You’re welcome.” You hand him the cigarette and you take another one out for you. You put it in your mouth as you pull out your lighter from your sweatpant pocket. “So, what is your name?”

He doesn’t answer, because he is looking in his hoodie pocket again.

“Damn it.”

You extend your lighter out to him. “Do you need a lighter?” He takes it. “You sure are forgetful tonight, huh?”

He presses the ignition button and orange flames arise. The end of his cigarette turns a yam orange. He hands your lighter back to you.

You do the same with yours. You then put the lighter back in your sweatpants pocket.

You inhale the puff of smoke that enters your mouth, an ash gray. You take the cigarette out of your mouth with two fingers and exhale. You then look back at the man, who just did the same thing.

“Thanks for the help.”

You smile.

“Of course.”

“I don’t think I have seen you before so you must be the one that just moved in, right?”

You nod. “Yes.”

“Cool. Out of all the places you could have gone, you chose this town.” He raises an eyebrow, visibly curious. “May I ask why?”

You fix your eyes on him, taking a few moments to process the unexpected nature of his question. He inhales his cigarette again and breathes out the smoke.

“This town seems quaint.” You finally answer. “The locals are nice, the expenses aren’t that much, and the scenery is alluring.”

You use your cigarette again and use your other sweatpants pocket to fish out your portable cassette player along with your headphones. You then realize that you had forgotten your music tape at your house. You sigh and then put it back into your pocket. Footsteps get your attention and you see the stranger approaching the shoreline. He bends down and picks up a small rock. He throws it to the sea and it bounces; one, two, three, four.

It then sinks beneath the waves, and the man mutters something under his breath. “Should have been more.”

You take a few steps towards him.

“What is your name?”

“Sebaste.” His tone isn’t warm, but it’s not cold either.

You stare at each other for a few moments in awkward silence. Your tone is just as strange as his as you say, “My name is [First]. A pleasure to meet you.” You place your lit cigarette on the pier and stomp on it until it goes out. “Have you lived here your whole life?”

He nods. “Yeah.”

“Do you live with a family member?” You’re not sure where this question came from, but you are for sure more interested in him than you realize. He turns his back to you.

“Yeah.”

You look out into the deep and dark sea.

“I don’t have any family here.”

“Mmhmm.”

His voice is slightly dismissive, but you don’t think he means to be.

“It must be nice, having people you can rely on.”

He looks at you again, but you cannot tell what he feels.

You don’t look at each other after that. You look down at the items that line the beach instead. Even though they are indeed damaged, they feel more like treasures than whatever expensive gifts Chrollo gave you.

There are mostly large shells that are still vibrant despite it being nighttime as well as being covered in sand. They look like fragments of a broken rainbow when the moon’s light reflects in just the right areas. You have contemplated bringing one home and stringing it into a necklace.

Sebaste takes his cigarette out of his mouth and points out to the ocean. There is no sound aside from the waves and occasional seagull calls. His two fingers trace the stars beyond the horizon.

He says there is a constellation called the Hydra. According to Sebaste, during summer, the season of rebirth and peace, the Hydra constellation appears as a reminder of assured death to those below it, whatever arrogance mortals may have had disappearing in an instant. Their fates loom over them like the blade of a guillotine, knowing their hearts shall stop working eventually, the color of crimson fading like flowers in autumn. Memento mori, you suppose.

“You sure know a lot about nature.” You say.

“It’s interesting, but it’s not what I mainly like learning about.” He throws another stone into the sea. One, two, three, four, five. He throws his cigarette out into the ocean and watches the flame die out. “I’m mostly just coding on my desktop. That,” He lightly chuckles. “And playing games. Video games and board games, as well as comics. They are fun.”

You don’t know anything about those either, even more so than nature. “That’s nice. I… don’t know anything about those. They seem cool, though.”

He chuckles at that. You do too.

He turns to you and takes a few steps forward.

He says that that seemed sort of obvious considering how upright your posture is, and how polite you speak. He offers to play games with you sometime and lend you comics. He walks you to your house and says a warm goodbye.

Although the certainness of seeing each other again is unknown, this fleeting encounter holds a remarkable significance, because you don’t feel as alone as you usually do.

You don’t feel alone. It is a strange feeling.

*~*~*~*

You wanted to watch Sleeping Beauty.

“Beautiful.”

Chrollo wanted to watch The Nutcracker.

“Just beautiful.”

The dancers’ feet move with grace and precision as the orchestra plays. Green, yellow, and pink dancers. You let Chrollo have his way with which performance tickets to buy because you didn’t want to fight and lose all of your progress.

“Don’t you think so, dearest?”

You look from your compact mirror to him, your lipstick still in hand.

“Yes.”

Chrollo seems to be smiling, but you cannot tell because of how dark the theater is. It’s a miracle you can see your lips in your compact mirror.

“I spot something even more beautiful, however.”

You almost want to shudder as his hand reaches the one carrying your mirror. He closes the reflector gently. You are thankful for how dark the theater is now because it hides whatever lovesick expression he is wearing. He is the one paying attention to the ballet, while you daydream of being anywhere else.

There is a light chuckle. A light squeeze. A light whisper of a compliment you pretend to listen to.

“So beautiful.”

…

“Thank you for taking me.”

It’s Christmas Eve. A fur coat covers you and keeps you warm. It is snowing, and the sight makes you slightly less nervous.

You and Chrollo are walking out of the theater. Hand in hand. As much as you want to break away. Your captor soon opens the car door, and you sit down.

He goes to the driver’s side and sits down too.

The car soon drives away onto the salted road.

“I had fun.” You try your best to smile. “I did.” You look out the window to the snow-covered, dead trees, as well as the reflection of your red dress and white coat.

Chrollo grins as he turns the steering wheel left. After a few moments, the car stops. “Wait here for a moment. I will be back in a few minutes.”

With that, he steps out of the car and leaves the key with you to make sure the alarm does not go off.

He makes sure you lock the doors before walking away.

You don’t dare go sit on the driver’s side. You don’t dare touch the steering wheel or press on the gas.

You just sit with your thoughts until he eventually returns, and you unlock the car.

“I have something for you,” His voice is almost cooing, but is laced with honey. There is a large box in his hands.

He extends his arms out and you take it. He sits back down and closes the car door.

“Open it,” He croons. You pull on the tied ribbon until the knot is undone. You take off the box’s lid. Macarons. Colorful macarons, all spread apart within the box just enough for people to see their fillings. Green, yellow, pink. But there are also a few white ones in the center with red filling.

You thank him and he tells you the flavors. The green ones are pistachio, symbolizing good fortune in the years ahead. The yellow ones are champagne, symbolizing joy and celebration. The pink ones are flavored strawberry, symbolizing life.

There is a nefarious twinkle in his eyes as he points to the white ones. The cookies are vanilla with a cherry filling.

They symbolize renewal and love.

He says that the macarons illustrate your relationship well.

You agree, because what else is there to say?

*~*~*~*

Sebaste invited you to a summer night on the shoreline. He said there was something special going on tonight.

Most of the townspeople are by the fisherman’s shop, overlooking the pier. They bring lanterns and are huddled together in their sweaters. Knowing Sebaste, he has probably gone somewhere more remote on the beach.

You are right. He is sitting on a picnic blanket with a few takeout boxes of food. He welcomes you with a grin as you sit down with him. There is sashimi, cheese-covered cauliflower, and fried calamari.

There is something behind him. But you don’t ask about it.

Sebaste is a rebellious loner, from what you have come to know from both the townspeople and himself.

He hardly has anyone over because of how judgmental his stepfather can be. He often fights with his stepfather and half-sister, and as a result, was forced to live in the basement as per his mother’s wishes to not cause any more problems. He loves his mother, he does, you can tell. She seems to love him too.

His room is often full of takeout boxes and used cigarettes, as well as video and board games and his desktop. The couch in his room always has comics and food stains on it. But you sit on it anyway to wait for him to finish his work before talking to you about whatever interest he currently is fixated on.

You sit on the picnic blanket and face the shoreline, your dirndl moving slightly with the wind. Your boots are covered in sand, but they are the only ones you have that will keep you warm while keeping the sand out of the inside of them. It’s just you, Sebaste, and the ocean.

Sebaste isn’t smoking for once, and neither are you.

You both agreed to focus on the ocean instead.

Sebaste gets a bit closer by scooting over. He is smiling gently, a smile you know hardly anyone else has seen. He takes a rock and throws it into the water, making it skip. One, two, three, four, five, six. He cheers quietly at his accomplishment, and you do too.

He looks at you.

He looks at your left hand that rests beside his right one. He moves just a hair closer. He clears his throat when you make eye contact. His pale cheeks are a slight pink.

“I…” he starts as his face turns away from you. His voice is a bit jittery. “I think I like you. Romantically.”

Does he mean it? His body language is slightly tense and his shoulders are uptight. His left hand comes out from hiding behind his back as he shows you a bouquet. There are blue thistles, purple sweet peas, and orange poppies.

He waits for a response as he turns to you again, visibly nervous.

*~*~*~*

You continue to try to pull away, but your efforts are unsuccessful.

Chrollo seems somewhat amused at your struggles, though he still doesn't force you to stop moving against his grasp.

"You're acting in a very ungrateful manner, my dear. I've given you this beautiful home and life that you couldn't even dream of on your own. You should be happy and thankful for what you've been given, not trying to escape from it. This is what love is. You are too young and immature to understand that, it seems."

"Love? Do you call this love? You're insane! Let me go!" Your eyes fill with tears as you try to pull away, and your voice breaks as you speak. "You're insane! You're insane and sick and disgusting! You're... you're..."

Chrollo still doesn't force you to stop trying to escape, and he doesn't raise his voice or grow angrier at your words. He just waits patiently.

"Monster... Disgusting... Sick freak... Monster..." Your voice is shaky as you continue to speak, and your eyes are filled with tears. "How can you justify this? What was wrong with my life before you? Why did you have to destroy everything? Why do you enjoy hurting me?" You yell and cry out, still trying to pull away, even though you don't seem to be hurting him.

Chrollo, once again, doesn't seem to be bothered by your words. As the alarm goes off, signaling your time out of restraints, he turns it off and drags you to the bedroom once again. Something tells you that you won’t be sleeping much tonight, less so than usual.

*~*~*~*

“Ah. I… like you too.”

“Really?”

You give him a genuine smile as you nod. “Yes.”

He smiles at that as his posture becomes more relaxed. You take the bouquet from him and set it beside your small backpack. Sebaste seems unsure for a second, most likely thinking that you have misunderstood his question. He thinks for a second or two as his face becomes laced with slight worry. You smile again as you take his hand gently. His face becomes bright red and you chuckle at the sight. He does too, but quieter.

His fingers then intertwine with yours.

He doesn’t smell of cigarettes like he normally does. You assume he put on cologne. Refreshing, sweet, and crisp. Pine cologne, with a hint of citrus.

He bashfully giggles a bit more. He puts his free hand on the back of his neck.

“Does… this mean we are… dating now? Or is this just a fling or…”

Your grip on his hand tightens slightly. You both seem giddy. This is the first time either of you has felt this way. You seem to have sparked something in each other.

“If you want to, we can start dating.”

“Oh? You… actually like me?”

He seems confused or doubtful as to why you feel the way you do for him.

“Yes, I do. I like you. Would you like me to enumerate the reasons why?”

He looks unsure of it all like you will stab him in his back at any moment.

“You’re kind to those who are kind back. You’re willing to do anything for those you trust. When you trust, you trust wholeheartedly. You have interesting hobbies.”

Sebaste chuckles again. “So, beating you within six turns of Go Fish and collecting frogs covered in mud is interesting to you, huh?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever met someone as unique as you. I mean that most positively and genuinely. Well, what do you like about me then? I’m curious.”

“Everything about you. The way you walk and talk, your hobbies, the way you present yourself. Everything about you is just so alluring and admirable. You are everything I am not.”

“I suppose we always love what we cannot have ourselves. Opposites attract, after all.”

He nods.

The ocean starts to glow a bright blue. You look at it confused, with one of your eyebrows raised.

Sebaste giggles once more at your lack of knowledge of what is happening. “Every year, right before summer ends, jellyfish rise to the surface of the shore and glimmer.”

You’re too awed at the sight to put it into words. “Thank you for inviting me, I didn’t know about it. It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah. Beautiful.” He looks at you instead of the ocean.

*~*~*~*

You take a deep breath. You’ve come to pay what’s owed.

You knock on the door and wait for a response. After a moment, you hear footsteps approaching the door.

It opens and James is standing there. When he recognizes you, his face turns into one of triumph.

“Hmm, so you have come. Just like you promised,” he says to you in a voice a mix of arrogance and gratefulness.

“Yes. The… night you wanted.”

James’ expression changes to a wide grin. “I knew you wouldn’t let me down,” He says to you with a chuckle, stepping aside to let you into his apartment. “Come in, come in.”

He steps aside and motions for you to enter, closing the door behind you. It is for the greater good, you tell yourself. To get information out of James, you need to make him believe that you are interested in him.

James is very happy that you kept your word. He’s smiling widely.

“Come in, I told you that I would host a special evening for you,” He says to you, sounding sincere and eager to please. He takes your hand and leads you inside the apartment. “I have a surprise for you,” He says to you, leading you deeper into the apartment.

You have to play the part of the seductress to the best of your ability.

“What is it?”

The usual city apartment, it looks like. Messy and full of mildew from the floor to the ceiling. By the only non-musty window there is a plastic up on the ground with drops of water coming down into it from the ceiling. Drip, drip, drip. You can only hear the drips of water and you and James’ footsteps. You cannot feel your true emotions, because you have a job to do.

James brings you to the only lit room in the apartment; the dining area. The circular table seems to be made of poplar and has a dark stain in the center of it. There is a vase of dark red roses on the top, clearly just bought. The chair you sit in is squeaky and is also made of poplar. James is staring at you. You can only hear the dripping of water, the squeakiness of the chair, the broken air conditioner, and James’ chuckles. Drip, drip, drip. James is still smiling, and staring like you are a piece of meat. You suppose you are, at least to him and at least at the moment. You smell cigarette smoke and spoiled food. You lean down to smell the roses, but you cannot smell them because the foul stink of the rest of the apartment is so much stronger. You pretend to anyway, a pleased hum leaving your painted lips. His eyes are wide and unblinking. Another chuckle, and another drip, drip, drip. His smile widens even more as he looks at you.

“Close your eyes,” He says to you in a soft, commanding tone. “I have a surprise for you,” He adds. “I want it to be a surprise. Keep your eyes closed.” He pauses for a moment, waiting for you to close your eyes.

You cover your eyes with your hands.

“That’s good, that’s good,” James’ smug voice says. “Just wait one minute.”

You hear his footsteps on the creaky floorboards quieting, making you assume he has gone elsewhere. You hear a cupboard opening and closing along with glasses clinking.

“Now, remove your hands from your eyes,” James says.

You do as you’re told and remove your hands from your eyes. James smiles at you, revealing the surprise that he had promised. On the table in front of you are two wine glasses and a bottle of expensive red wine. Cabernet. "This is my special surprise for you," He says to you, still sounding sincere and excited. James pours both of you a glass of wine and places one of them in front of you. He then raises his glass and holds it up in your direction. He smiles at you charmingly and says, "To you, [First]. And to your beauty."

You smile at James and cheer with him, raising your glass and taking a sip of the expensive red wine that he's poured for you.

James smiles at you, still looking charming and sincere. "Tell me," He says to you, "What do you think of the wine?" He takes a sip himself, smiling as he savors the taste. "I always buy the best when I entertain a guest as lovely as yourself," He says to you with a wink.

“It’s good. But… I feel like it won’t compare to you.” You wink back at him.

James smiles and takes another sip of the expensive red wine that he's poured for you. He seems to like your subtle flirtation, as if it's having the desired effect. "Oh, don't worry," He says to you with a charming smile. "I've been looking forward to this night all night. You're just as wonderful and beautiful as I remember," He adds. "I can hardly wait to spend some time alone with you."

James takes another sip of the wine and continues to stare at you, still smiling.

“Am I as beautiful as you say?” You blink your long lashes at James, your eyes gazing into his with a gentle but seductive expression. Your hair is loose, gently framing your face, and you look ravishing.

"Of course," James says to you with a smile as he gazes back at you. He reaches out a hand and gently strokes a streak of your hair, letting it fall back into place after it has been gently moved by the gesture. "You're the most lovely woman I've ever seen," He says to you confidently.

“What do you like about me?”

"Every inch of you," James replies, still stroking your hair with a smile on his face. "From your eyes to your long lashes, your hair, your skin..." James pauses, looking into your eyes for a moment. "To your soft lips, your small, delicate hands," He adds, still stroking your hair lightly. He looks at you with a charming and passionate gaze, as if he can't get enough of your beauty.

“...Would you like me to kiss you? It would be our first.”

James looks delighted by your proposition and nods slowly, in response. He finishes stroking your hair with one last, gentle touch and gazes at you once more. "Of course," He murmurs, his voice softer and more passionate than before. He pauses for a moment before taking the initiative and leaning forward to kiss you slowly and softly. His lips press gently against yours, and he holds you close as he pulls you into a gentle, intimate kiss.

Drip, drip, drip.

It’s for the greater good, right?

You kiss back and return James' affection, feeling the heat of passion slowly build as the two of you kiss. You hold him close and slowly pull him towards you. The kiss is soft and tender, and although it is a rather chaste kiss, it leaves you breathless and feeling dizzy. After a few moments, you both come up for air to breathe, and James looks at you with a warm and sincere smile.

"You're a wonderful kisser," He says to you softly. "I've always imagined it would be like this..."

At any cost, the greater good must come first.

“Should we take this to the bedroom?”

"Yes," James replies with a nod. "Let's go to the bedroom," He adds. "I can't wait to be alone with you." He takes your hand in his and leads you out of the dining area and into a small bedroom. You enter the bedroom and see a large, comfortable bed in the center of the room, with the moon shining through the window. James closes the door behind you and leads you closer to the bed.

You sit on the bed and open your arms. “I’m ready whenever you are.”

James smiles at you and steps towards you slowly. He takes off his jacket and throws it on a chair next to the door. He then comes closer to you and smiles, leaning forward to kiss you passionately. His arms are wrapped around you, and his body is pressed against yours. He begins to kiss you deeply and passionately, his lips lingering on yours for long moments.

James continues to kiss you, and as he does so, his hands begin to explore your body. He lets his fingers run down your arms, leaving soft, tender trails of affection on your skin. As his lips move to your neck, he begins to bite it softly. He starts to explore and taste every inch of your skin, leaving small marks of affection. You feel a jolt of passion and desire course through your body as you feel James' lips pressed against your neck and his teeth lightly biting you. As he continues to kiss and nibble your neck, he begins to breathe more heavily.

You pretend to groan and moan as James continues to kiss and nibble your neck. You lean your head back and close your eyes, trying to appear lost in pleasure. You feel his lips move down your neck, leaving little, soft bruises of passion. You let out another soft moan as he continued to kiss your neck, nibbling your skin and letting his teeth leave marks of affection.

"Do you like that?" He whispers to you, his voice deep and passionate. "More?" He asks, sounding breathless and eager.

Drip, drip, drip.

“More.”

James chuckles softly before moving his lips back down towards your neck once again. He bites your neck and kisses it again, this time leaving more marks of affection. You pretend to moan in pleasure once again, feeling James' breath against your neck.

"How does that feel, dear?" His voice is low and seductive. "More?" He asks gently, biting your neck once again.

“I want you to touch me all over.”

James pauses for a moment, his green eyes looking at you with a charming and seductive expression. He smiles at you, and you notice his eyes are filled with desire. "I want to touch you also," He says to you softly. His hand gently touches your cheek and strokes your hair. "Please, let me explore you," He whispers seductively. He moves towards you and gently pulls you towards him, kissing you softly before moving his hands towards your body.

As you feel James' hands start to take off your clothes, you begin to feel some of the passion and desire that James had shown before fade away. But as James continues to take off your clothes, you start to feel the heat of passion and excitement come back.

James seems intent on savoring and enjoying every moment of this moment with you, every moment of intimacy and passion. He slowly undresses you, taking off each piece of your clothing, as if you were the most precious and beautiful thing in the world. His touch is gentle, and his eyes are filled with desire.

Drip, drip, drip.

“Touch me, touch me everywhere, for your lips worship me.”

James pauses as he hears you speaking. He gazes at you for a moment, his face filled with a mix of passion and desire, as your words have left a deep impression on him.

"Oh, my love," He says to you softly. "My lips worship you," He adds, leaning forward to kiss you again.

His hands begin to run over your body, caressing you in all the right places. His fingers trace soft arcs over your skin, leaving trails of affection and passion wherever they go.

…

You find yourself standing in the middle of a large and eerie graveyard. The sky above you is dark and cloudy, with little sunlight filtering through the clouds. You take out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, lighting up a cigarette and taking a few puffs. As you lean against a gravestone, you see a figure standing in the corner of the graveyard, just watching you. You can't quite make out who it is, the figure looks like a shadowy silhouette, but you can see the orange glow of a cigarette in their hand as well.

It’s James.

As you take another puff from your cigarette, you see James stepping closer to you, his figure now becoming slightly more visible in the dim light.

"Hello, [First]," He says quietly, the tone of his voice hinting at a slight twinge of concern for you. He takes a drag from his cigarette, his expression still difficult to make out in the shadowy light. "How are you feeling?" He asks, looking at you with a sense of curiosity in his voice.

“I see you kept your word.”

"Of course," James says, taking a soft puff from his cigarette. "I promised you, didn't I? I'm not one to go back on my word."

You notice James looking at your cigarette, seemingly a bit tempted by it.

"Can I have a puff?" He asks, looking at you with a tiny hint of a hopeful expression on his face. "I've been craving another cigarette for a while now."

James quickly steps forward, seemingly going in for a kiss, but you quickly duck out of the way and move away from him. He stops in his tracks, not wanting to make any sudden movements or startle you. However, he still looks at you with a tinge of frustration and disappointment on his face.

"You don't want to do anything with me, do you?" He asks as the light from his cigarette illuminates his expression for a moment. "Am I just not good enough for you, is that it?" He adds.

You keep your attention on your cigarette, ignoring James' frustrated expression and question as you take another puff. After a few moments of complete silence, James finally breaks the silence once again.

"I knew you were like this," He says, his voice filled with resentment and anger. "I've always known you were like this," He adds, moving closer to you once again. "And yet, I still fell for you like an idiot." He pauses for a moment and takes a drag from his cigarette. "You're just... so damn tempting," He adds.

“...Hmm. It’s my specialty.”

"Yeah, yeah, I know," James says, seeming slightly irritated. He takes another puff from his cigarette, the orange glow on it making his eyes seem brighter than usual in the dark. "You know, that was the reason I was attracted to you in the first place." He adds, his tone becoming a bit quieter. "Your specialty of seducing men... and women." This time, there was a subtle twinge of sadness in his voice. "You're just too damn gorgeous to resist, I guess." He adds.

“...It has its benefits. I don’t hate you, just so you know.”

It seems like James still hasn't given up in his attempts to kiss you, despite your repeated refusal earlier. He moves in towards you once again and leans in close to your face, his expression becoming a bit more excited and hopeful. That's when you see his gaze locked in on your lips, and you realize his next move before he even makes it. You quickly duck away from him, moving out of the way just in time to avoid his lips.

"I told you, stop." You say firmly, not wanting to give him another chance to kiss you. “It was a one-night stand. That’s all it was, and… it was for my matters.”

"Yeah, yeah, I know," James sighs, his tone becoming somewhat frustrated once again. He takes another drag from his cigarette, the light from it illuminating his face for a moment as he looks straight at you. "It was just a one-night stand," He echoes, seemingly to himself. "But... for some reason." He pauses for a moment and looks at you with slight confusion. "I still have feelings for you," He finally says. "Even though I know it's stupid to feel this way..." He adds quietly.

“It was just something I had to do.”

James seems to pause for a moment as your words sink in.

"What?" He asks, seeming slightly confused. "Do you mean... you had to sleep with me as part of an investigation or something?" He asks. "Or were you not attracted to me?" He adds. "You felt like you had to sleep with me, even though you didn't want to?" He stops for a moment to take a few more puffs from his cigarette, the light from it glowing orange in the dark. "Is that... what are you saying?" He asks.

You take a soft puff from your cigarette as James continues to look at you with a slightly frustrated expression on his face.

"I want the truth, [First]." He says, sounding more serious this time. "I want to know why you slept with me..." He takes a final puff from his cigarette before looking at you once again. "Was it because you were attracted to me? Or was it because you felt like you needed to sleep with me for some other reason?" He asks, his tone becoming a bit quieter again.

“...I suspected you of something.”

"A suspect, huh?" James says, sounding only slightly confused. "So this was all part of some elaborate plan to figure out who I was?" He pauses for a moment as he thinks about your words, taking another drag from his cigarette before speaking up again. "Was... Was I really that suspicious, [First]?" He asks. He seems slightly hurt by your words but still manages to hold on to his composure as he looks at you with a bit of apprehension.

“...You were. You drove me five hours to that seaside town without a second thought, even though your guard shift at that hotel had just ended. I had to know if you had other motives… aside from sleeping with me.”

"I guess that makes sense," James says quietly. "So, that's why you decided to sleep with me..." He adds, taking another drag from his cigarette before speaking once again. "Is that it?" He says, his tone sounding slightly less annoyed now. "You just wanted to gather information on me, and nothing else?" He asks. "Did you like, not enjoy your time with me in the slightest?" He adds with a tiny hint of disappointment.

You take a deep puff from your cigarette, the smoke rising upwards into the air before mixing with the gloomy clouds floating above. You can see James looking at you with a bit of disappointment on his face, but you just keep silent.

After a few moments of quiet contemplation, James finally speaks again.

"So, that's it, huh?" He says quietly, his tone becoming somewhat resigned. "You just... slept with me for information and nothing else." He takes another drag from his cigarette, the orange glow from the tip illuminating his face in the darkness.

“...That’s correct.”

"So... you don't like me?" He asks, turning to you with a hint of sadness in his eyes. "It was just... part of the job?" He adds. He takes another puff from his cigarette, his eyes moving back to looking at the clouds above. "Is there nothing else you like about me?" He asks softly, turning to you once again. "Not even a little bit?" You can see James' expression change, his heart is affected by your words. "Please don't be silent again," He adds quietly.

“…You aren’t useful to me anymore, so from this point forward you will not see me again.”

"Not useful to you, huh?" He says softly, sounding a bit hurt by your words. "So... now that you got what you needed, you're just gonna toss me out like a piece of trash?" He asks with a tinge of bitterness in his voice. "What happened to the [First] I thought I knew?" He says, sounding slightly frustrated. "Don't you feel at least a little bit bad?" He adds. "Even a tiny bit?" He takes another small puff from his cigarette before looking at you again with mild concern.

You start to lean away from him before he suddenly grabs you and pulls you towards him, the two of you now face to face. James then places his hand behind the back of your head and leans forward, trying to kiss you once again. Before you can get out of his grasp, he kisses you forcefully, pressing his lips against yours for a few moments as he tries to make you kiss back. Once James is done, he lets go of you, his expression still filled with passion and determination.

"Well?" He asks, sounding a little annoyed. "Where's your response?"

“...You know,” You throw your cigarette to the ground and step on it roughly, making a loud footfall noise as you squish it against the cobblestone. “I was going to let you go on with your life as I found no ties to the Spider.” Your hands go into your trench coat pocket. “But now you have forced my hand. Most unfortunate.”

James takes a moment to process what you had just said. “W… What?” He looks confused and panicked. “What do you mean by that?”

You display a smile, yet it lacks any semblance of kindness.

“The Phantom Troupe? You’re… a part of the Phantom Troupe?” The man takes a few steps back in fear, a stark contrast to how he was just a few moments ago.

“No.” You say firmly. You hear James sigh in relief.

“Thank God.”

“But,” You add, taking a few steps closer and still having that grin. “I promise you that soon, you will realize what I mean. Very soon, indeed.”

James laughs loudly and arrogantly like a crow’s caw. “You’re going to kill me?” He takes a few steps closer as well and crosses his arms, smirking. “Sweetheart, I don’t think you can even touch me.”

“Never say never.” With a smile on your face, you glance back while making your way towards the graveyard's exit.

James angrily yells at you to come back, but you don’t listen and soon you are gone.

He better prepare himself for death while he still can.

…

You broke into James’ neighbor’s apartment.

Victor, you found out later, was his name. Not that it mattered much. He was reading a book, Crime and Punishment, on his couch and facing away from the entrance. He didn’t have any instinctual gut feelings that someone was in his home, standing above him with a blindfold, ropes, and a scarf. He had good taste in books, at least.

“Greetings,” You bend down to the slumped man, weeping with his hands and legs tied, his tears wetting the white blindfold. “I have a favor to ask of you. Then I shall let you go, alright?”

Your voice is soft, and gentle, like a mother speaking to her crying toddler. Like a Venus fly trap, your jaws will soon lower onto your unsuspecting prey. Tender fingers snake around the back of the stranger’s head and untie the gag. A shushing sound leaves your lips as a finger lays on them for a second or two. You roll on your ankles backward and stand up. You tell him that if everything goes well, he can leave. He simply nods, giving up right away.

Your hands go into your trench coat pockets for a second, worshiping the fur that lines them along with your forged ID card, portable cassette player, and flip phone. It is just to make sure they are there in your jacket and not left out as evidence of the performance about to happen. The guests of honor are James and Victor, and they will never know it.

Drip, drip, drip. Through the thin walls, you can hear the usual drops of water coming from James’ ceiling to the container he probably has there. Drip, drip, drip.

“I just need you to say a few words.”

Your demand is sturdy, not taking no for an answer.

You open up a window and a gentle breeze flows in, making your braid sway from side to side. After a few moments of silence, Victor says that he will do anything if it means he can leave afterward. The floorboards are creaky and splintered and damaged from all of the feet, wheels, and canes that move on and off them.

“Repeat after me.”

You look down on him like a God. He is nothing more than a dog.

James deserves this. That’s what you tell yourself. James deserves this. James deserves this for being scum and only seeing you as a possession. He deserves this. He deserves what you are about to do.

The sun is rising behind you. You bear resemblance to a masterpiece crafted with the utmost precision and the most vibrant pigments. Your arrival is akin to that of a deity. Drip, drip, drip.

You take your hands out of your pockets.

“Say the name James Ericsson. Please.”

Your stare is vivid, and even with the blindfold on you know that Victor has sensed its intensity because he says. “James Ericsson.”

You smile and your hands dance with one another in a sort of waltz.

There are cries of pain and the sound of bones bending like plastic straws coming from next door.

Victor falls to the ground, not breathing. It is done.

…

The photos were shown on the news, late at night to prevent younger children from seeing them.

There was nothing left of James' upper half.

There was a huge gaping hole in his skull where the brain burst out. The face was completely gone, caving in on itself. As his body was crushed by the invisible pressure, his chest and arms were ripped apart, the muscles and organs ripping out and sticking to the walls, and the larger pieces of meat slipped down with copious amounts of blood, accumulating on the poplar table adorned with dead roses and a shattered glass vase that had been broken. The rest of his stomach spilled out onto the floor beneath the table he had been standing next to.

Victor was found dead at his apartment. There were no signs of a break and is presumed to have died of a heart attack or stroke. You were careful to attach and remove the blindfold, gag, and restraints so that no bruises or marks formed.

It is somewhat regrettable, but there was no other way. You know that. It was for the greater good.

Right?

There was no other way, right?

You know that there was no other way, right?

Because there was no other way, right?

They had to die for the greater good, right?

Right?

…Right?

You ride one bus after another back to town with something inside you telling you that this is wrong. James’ screams, his snapping bones, the way his muscle and fat separated like he was a slain cow being cut into pieces by a butcher. Victor’s begging to be set free, and the way that he trusted that you would let him go after he did what you wanted. All of this is wrong, a little voice in the back of your mind says to you.

This isn’t a crime. It isn’t.

The rest of your brain tells you that.

It was a necessary evil. James deserved it, he deserved every ounce of pain you had inflicted on him through the thin apartment walls. You can imagine hearing the dripping of blood from the formerly white now red ceiling.

Drip, drip, drip.

…

You eat at your poplar dining table, alone, in a squeaky old poplar chair. You have only managed to take a bite or two of your food before feeling the urge to vomit. You drank half of your cup of water though, at least. You would have preferred bleach or soap, though. Something basic.

That way your insides would be scrubbed clean by the mix of enzymes, organs, bacteria, and a strong base. Your skin, eyes, and hair would be cleansed with the sweat and tears produced afterward. You pick up your spaghetti with your plastic fork.

Your stomach churns and it feels like it is eating itself. You run to the bathroom, overcome by nausea. An acidic smell and taste. They are both sour and nasty.

You gag like you are being choked by a ghost or your guilty conscience. You are loudly gasping for air through your vomit-covered lips.

Drip, drip, drip.

Plop, plop, plop.

Bile piles up in the toilet water, making it bright yellow. You hold onto the toilet seat like it is your lifeline. After a few more moments of heaving, you adjust your posture to be more straight.

You walk back to the kitchen and put the dinner food in your refrigerator. It hums as if it is pleased with how you are feeling.

Drip, drip, drip.

There is some water leaking from the faucet. You put a cup under it and try to ignore what it reminds you of. You hope it goes away soon. You do. More than anything.

You want it to go away, and you would do anything to make it stop. But you’re not a plumber, and the only nearest one is in a neighboring town a few hundred kilometers away and his fees are worth a few thousand Jenny. Even if he was nearer, you wouldn’t be able to afford his services. Most unfortunate for you.

You still feel like you are being strangled.

Your neck’s muscles tighten and the tendons are sticking out. You aren’t going to die, but it feels like it. Everything hurts. Everything hurts and you are disgusted with yourself. But you have to keep going, for eternal freedom.

Your skin is covered in goosebumps.

You want to vomit your organs out.

You want to scream until your vocal cords swell so much they cannot work.

You want to swallow and cover yourself in bleach and soap and scrub yourself until your skin is rubbed raw and bleeding.

But you can’t, because you are living in a town now, one where the neighbors are so friendly and everyone knows each other. But you can’t, because someone will come to you, worried sick about you. But you can’t, because you are too appalled in yourself right now to lie to them and pretend you are better than them.

You cannot pretend you are cordial and graceful, because if anything you are sick. Sick and twisted. Your secrets mirror your repulsiveness. You want to lean away from yourself and run from yourself.

But you can vomit your organs out.

But you can scream until your vocal cords swell so much they cannot work.

But you can swallow and cover yourself in bleach and soap and scrub yourself until your skin is rubbed raw and bleeding.

That’s because this house is nearly impossible to find for most. Only the porch light is currently on, with the rest of the place in complete darkness. There are overgrown weeds and grass, trees, and fallen branches everywhere. You have tripped many times and almost broken something in the past. You are getting better, though.

This property can be the place where you bury whatever sins you have committed. No one comes here, and no one will come for you if you scream. No one will hear you because this property is cramped and large.

But you are still living in a town full of people who all know each other.

What if someone hears you?

It is best not to think about it, you tell yourself.

It is best to just let it all out, you tell yourself.

It is best to ignore and lie to those who ask you about it, you tell yourself.

So you vomit again.

You scream so loudly you lose your voice.

You scrub your hands so hard under the sink with soap until they bleed and have scratches all over them.

No one comes for you.

Good.

*~*~*~*

You have always been someone who never takes the time to appreciate the beauty around you.

Your thoughts are constantly besieged by a multitude of voices. Unloving, taking pleasure in others' misfortune, outrage, fear, happiness, delicateness, peacefulness, besiege, schadenfreude, wherewithal. In due time, emotions will reach their boiling point, unveiling the authentic hues of your being; crimson red.

You can make people prefer you over the largest of diamonds with just a few words. Your words can be either their exposition or their denouement.

But you can’t bring yourself to use Sebaste. This feeling is odd to you, but you don’t complain about it. If anything, you feel warmer than you ever have been.

Your emotions find themselves trapped in a state of indecision, teetering between self-centeredness and pure joy. Something has gone off course. You.

You, who was born with an innate desire to only help those who would help you in exchange. You, who never ventured out to explore the depths of your being, to discover the essence of empathy. You, who have always used others in an attempt to better humanity as a whole, to be in control of others. It is what you do best; being in control.

So, why does Sebaste, an impoverished man, interest you so much? Why would you be willing to give everything you have away just to make sure he has a good life? Why can’t you just leech off of him like you do with everyone else?

It cannot be denied that he holds the position of your greatest vulnerability.

But you cannot bear to discard him.

Even if you wanted to. Even if he wanted you to.

You cannot leave him. He holds your heart in his gentle hands, and you will never get it back. There it will stay far past when his body is deep underground and lost to time.

You would jump into the largest crimson tides if it meant he was waiting for you beneath the waves. In the end, the amalgamation of your emotions will birth a monstrous force, unleashing nothing but devastation.

A colossus.

The devil that lurks within the deepest confines of your heart.

No exorcism or priest would be able to get rid of it. It will stay inside you until your last breath. Sebaste will eventually uncover the hidden transgressions within your soul, the deeds you committed to survive. The actions you took to elevate yourself above all others and everything else in this world.

In the future, when the stars twinkle no more, the moon loses its luster, and the night sky breaks apart, you will need to seek a new refuge to conceal your wrongdoings from the scorching beams of the sun.

If Sebaste ever were to discover the lies that are the foundation of the makeup used to cover your hideous, real face, or your sticky, sticky, crimson hands, what would be done to stop you? What would you do to stop him from leaving you?

You simply confine the devil into the smallest crevice of your heart, pushing it inside as far as it can go and locking the door. That way, if Sebaste ever were to delve into the labyrinth that is your soul, he wouldn’t find it no matter how much he looks. There the devil will stay even far after it starts rotting, and you promise yourself to keep it that way.

*~*~*~*

The flowers are in bloom. You don’t know what species they are though. The night sky is above you, cold, injured, and bleeding you. Your only physical weapon is your nails, your dull and split nails.

It starts raining. You don’t have a home of your own, so you decide that a bus stop will suffice for now.

Every inch of you is shivering. Every drop of blood that you bleed hurts. The forest is deep and dark and cruel. If any animals were unaware of your presence, they surely are now considering how you howled in pain as your leg toppled into a bear trap, and howled even louder as you clawed it off with your bare hands, making them all scratched up. The cicadas are crying, even louder than you are. They only respond to your pain with shrill, grating noises and the flaps of their wings. You have nowhere to go that is nearby. Not with your injured leg that has large, deep, painful markings of the trap’s teeth on it. Aside from this bus stop that is in the middle of nowhere. You’re not sure if any bus at all is even on this route anymore, considering how rusty and broken down this stop is.

You attempt to light one of the few matches you have left. It’s pitch black outside, and the match is your only source of light and warmth from the rain and the night. Your jacket is still caught in that tree, far away from where you currently are. Well, it wasn’t yours per se, but it was your only protection from the elements with its hood and heat.

Your cries are wasted on your injuries. You know no one will come for you, aside from predators if you bleed out and are near death.

You cannot see anything, even the path of blood drops you most likely made as you gripped your injured leg and began moving once more to the poorly taken care of bus stop, ignoring the pain that shot up with every step. It’s too dark.

You aren’t going to die, but it feels like it.

Even if Chrollo knew where you were and was on the way, it wouldn’t matter. This forest is too big and you may die of blood loss before he even catches sight of you or hears your pained cries.

There are most likely predators here. Wolves, bears, hawks. Something is out there, watching you, you are sure of it. You know it.

Eventually, the rain stops sometime after your match goes out and you close your eyes after refusing to rest for far too long. You catch a glimpse of the flowers, soaked with morning dewdrops and reflecting the sun’s rays.

Ah.

Columbines.

The usual white ones are called doves for a reason. They look like five doves nestled together from afar. The white columbines represent many things. Love. Innocence. Calmness. Peace. Foolishness. Winning. Ironic enough, you cannot relate to any of them.

You’re not in love with anyone. Your innocence was stolen from you long ago, far before you even met Chrollo. You aren’t calm, you are weeping. You aren’t at peace, you are internally fighting yourself as to whether to go back to your captor’s gilded cage. Perhaps you are a fool for running away from the warm blankets and fresh, expensive food. You aren’t winning anything aside from both regrets and desperate want for stability.

Maybe that is why these columbines before you are red. An eye-catching crimson red, as red as your wounds and the trail of blood left from it as you walked to the bus stop. They look like dead doves. They only represent three things. Passion. Terror. Trembling. You find a resemblance of yourself in them, as odd as it would sound to anyone who doesn’t know of or believe your current situation.

The trap didn’t have rust on it, right?

*~*~*~*

Chrollo and Sebaste are both difficult to understand for you. However, they also could not be more different. This dynamic is similar to a newborn witnessing dawn’s sunrise blossom from the night sky. Both confuse you, for both are very similar yet very contrasting.

Chrollo and Sebaste both know what they want and they would do anything to achieve it, as long as the people they love aren’t in any danger at the reward of attaining their desires. They only trust a handful of people fully while they ignore other people’s presence. They both have that dark brown hue in their eyes. They both wear darker colors. But Chrollo holds the past in high regard and loves history, meanwhile, Sebaste thinks of the future and modern times more so than the past and as a result keeps up with new technology and media. Chrollo looks at you like a hunter looks at a doe or rabbit, while Sebaste looks at you with purpose, for he knows who you are; an equal.

You look at them differently, too.

You look at Chrollo with a facade in your eyes, as you pretend to accept your role in his theater by dancing the waltz and singing praises.

You look at Sebaste with veracity, for he is the only one to have ever earned your genuine admiration.

If either were to see the cracks within the mask you wear if either of them saw what was underneath… it would all be over, wouldn’t it? Chrollo would know more about you than you ever did about yourself and use it against you. Sebaste would leave you all alone to rot away.

That is why you will play the role of a doting queen who hangs onto every word her lover tells her because it is the only choice you have.

It is the only choice you have, and all you ever can be.

It is all you ever will be, you say to yourself.

#yandere chrollo #yandere chrollo x reader #chrollo x reader #yandere chrollo lucilfer #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere hxh #yandere hxh x reader #yandere x reader #yandere #hxh #chrollo lucilfer #hxh chrollo #chrollo hunter x hunter #hunter x hunter #phantom troupe #chrollo lucilfer x reader #hier encore.#ultraviolet.#author aya

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novasdarling · 2 years

Note

Hi Nova! I had an interesting question/ thought.

Do you reckon Chrollo would’ve gotten a vasectomy done?

Hear me out: basically considering how he probably does sleep with quite a few women to get what he wants, he wouldn’t really rely on their contraceptive methods (or condoms).

Now especially for when he has his darling, there still is a chance that his darlings contraceptive methods might fail so he might want to he extra precautious considering how he doesn’t strike me as the type who would want kids in the future anyway.

Condoms might get annoying after a certain time considering how they don’t offer the same feel as unprotective sex (wrap it up kids)

My theory is that he might get one and have his darling use pills not by forcing them, but by striking the fear of having a child that would tie the two of them together to have his darling religiously take their pills.

Yes yes yes. I see this too. He isn't a man who screams father to me, but if he did have kids, it would be done strategically.

Dark Content! Yandere Thirsts!

I can see him not wanting kids as they're a responsibility he does not care for. Plus they would take his darlings attention away from him. BUT also, he would be the type to mold himself into the man you want. Plays the part of the gentlemen if need be, becomes everything you every wanted. But what if you want children? This is when I think Chrollo could go down two different roads.

Let's say this is the road where he doesn't care if you want one. I think he wouldn't get a vasectomy while he was with his darling, if he did get one it would be before. But I dont know if I 100% see him to like go to a doctor's and get it down. Perhaps he got it done years ago before he became the man he is now. Anyway whether he can or not, in this scenario he would make it clear to his darling not that he can't or doesn't want kids, rather that it would be foolish to have them. After all, he's a dangerous man, with enemies. Protecting you is already taking everything in him, adding a kid would make things more difficult. Chrollo would play this up more to him protecting your emotions, as it would crush you if something happened to the kid. It would be sad wouldn't it? So why not prevent that, have you on birth control or the old pull and pray. Maybe one day he'll let you know he has a vasectomy, but not now.

Now this version differs from the first and your opinion(which I think yours is spot on and goes with option one up ahead). He doesn't really want kids, but know it's how to make you stay. Especially if he knows you really want kids. He believes this will make you fall for him, or at least show some tenderness to him even if he had kidnapped you. If he gives you something you want, surely you would give him what he wants. Plus the part where you need his help when you're all round and pregnant appeals to him. This option is much more manipulative of him. As he doesn't actually want the kids and will do little to no parenting unless you convince him (give him something for watching the brat). To him the kid is nothing more than a tool to tie you to him and appease you. However, I do see him faking his love for the kids. Especially if you try to run. Chrollo would act like you taking the child from him is the most hurtful thing ever. How could you separate a man from his kid? He's a good actor, having you believe him somewhat even though you know he doesn't really care for the kid like you do. Whatever it takes to keep you, he'll do.

I think these two options are the most likely, yours definitely fall within the first one. Whether he actually does get a vasectomy or not, he's not a fan of kids and would rather avoid them if he can. Yet, sometimes life calls for sacrifices and he'll do whatever it takes to keep you with him. Even if he hates the though, which is the second option. Overall, I think it depends on the darling which is why I don't know if he would get a vasectomy later in his career. Either it's done really early which means no babies. Or if he thinks/knows darling really wants a baby, he may get it reversed if he got one.

I hope I answered or elaborated enough. Sometimes I go off on a tangent that differs from asks, sorry.

#yandere #chrollo lucilfer #yandere chrollo lucilfer #yandere chrollo #chrollo hunter x hunter #hxh chrollo #hxh #yandere hxh #yandere hunter x hunter #hunter x hunter #yandere blog #yandere thoughts #yandere thirst #yandere thirsts #nova speaks

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seijorhi · 2 years

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fic asks <33

a few more for heedless, heartless and sea change <33

amazing fics rhi!! thank you for sharing! i was wondering.. in sea change, do oikawa’s friends and family know about you, the marriage, the baby?

they do indeed, again iwa probably knows something closer to the truth, whether he was told about it or iwa figured it out himself is up to you but... yeah :))

I always like how Iwa is often thrown in this difficult situation in most of your fic hahaha, esp HH, how he tries to convince himself he's better than Oikawa, not a monster, feels guilty for reader but deep down is really jealous, adding all the mixed emotions until it just bursts out by the end. Your writing never disappoints! I believe the reader actually likes Iwa thou in the flashback? Since she was heartbroken when she heard what he called her?

there is something about hm i don't wanna call him white knight iwa but i guess an iwa who paints himself as the lesser of two evils that makes me go nuts. cuz it's easy to do when he compares himself to oikawa, who lies and manipulates and is utterly shameless about it.

when really he's about 5 seconds away from snapping and taking what he wants at any given opportunity.

and yeah, she did really like him. shame oikawa doesn't like to share.

Have you ever watched Hunter x Hunter? Your representation of Oikawa in Sea Change reminded me for some reason of one of the antagonists Chrollo. I loved this fic so much!

ahhh gfhjdkhfjds i have watched hxh

(i think it's the peak pretty boy bastard vibes)

Wonderful fics! Question: How does oikawa explain to hatori why you’re gone? What would oikawa do if his son would not stop crying at all bc he misses you 😢

he'd tell him that his mama's just on a little trip, and she'll be back soon, and daddy's gonna take care of him until she gets back.

Aghhh, Sea Change was soooo good it made me rethink a previous work I had written and how I could improve it. Like, I’m just admiring how easily the scenes shift into one another, the natural dialogue, how the MC is feeling without actually saying how she’s feeling. (You write show don’t tell REALLY well.) I’m absolutely in love. ❤️❤️❤️

nonnie stop hfjkdhgfjdks 💕

the way hatori would grow up to be or worse than oikawa is so wheww and i never knew i needed 'heedless, heartless' iwa until now 😩 also i still can't believe you posted two fics in a day and all of em are oikawa fics 😭😭 thank you sooo much!!! although you said there will be no seijoh fics til next year, I'm still grateful for today. have a good one, rhi! <3

ahh thank you bby!! honestly the thought of grown up hatori sure is something 👀

as for hh iwa, what can i say? hehehe

Rhi’s Oikawa is my fave Oikawa 🥺 I love all your Oikawa fics. No one could write that twisted guy better than you

ily <33

#rhi answers #fic asks #sea change #heedless heartless

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cat3ch1sm · 2 years

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🐸| hello everyone! here are some hxh hcs because i have absolutely no life! idrk what to say for my intro so we won't waste any time

🌵| anyways, enjoy and i hope u like this!

downsides of dating hxh boys~ sfw (ft adult trio, kurapika)

illumi zoldyck

· he hardly ever expresses that he loves you. it's not necessarily that he doesn't- but the nature in which he grew up in prohibits him from allowing emotions such as affection to be displayed on the outside.

· if you are ever injured physically or emotionally, Illumi will not work up even an ounce of sympathy for you. for example, if the two of you are in battle and you are wounded, severely or not- he will likely not acknowledge the injury, nor the wince on your face when you see the jagged tear in your skin or the dark blood dripping down your body. if he acknowledges you at all in that situation, it will be to scold you- "i can't marry a woman who can't even defend herself- it would tarnish the zoldyck name." or, "you begged me to take you on this mission, and now you're upset over a mere flesh wound? it appears i will be calling in hisoka."

· mostly ignores you. whenever you try and initiate any sort of romantic interaction with illumi, he will be unresponsive or you will be met with a cold, resounding "no." or, "y/n, please stop distracting me." he will visibly recoil if you try and kiss/hug him in public, then probably give you a look and stalk away. he doesn't seem to take your feelings into account, and if he sees that you are sad over his lack of affection, he'll only tell you to "stop crying, we have an assignment to carry out in a few hours."

· believes the display of emotion is weak, and thus gets very annoyed when you try and open up to him mistakenly thinking he'd want to hear your woes. he'll come up with a dozen excuses to avoid your attempts at heartfelt conversations, and a lot of the time just walks right out of the room.

· illumi always has to be dominant over you. he chastises you for weakness quite often- but actually wants you to be beneath him; he wants you to submit to him. illumi must be constantly reminded that his power is unlike any other, and what better way to receive that daily pick-me-up than by using you?

hisoka morow

· manipulative. all he does is manipulate. he'll insult you and prey on your biggest insecurities, knowingly upsetting you, and then once confronted about it he will say something like "oh, darling, you know i didn't really intend to hurt you" or "don't be so sensitive, lovely, i was only teasing." his energy is very much like that one toxic friend who would hurt you whenever they got the chance and then be like "i was joking, stop being so sensitive!"

· hisoka will threaten to kill you. sometimes he'll just creep up behind you and place the sharp edge of a hardened card over your throat just to terrorize you.

· "step out of line once, Y/N, and you'll be dead faster than you can say my name."

- definitely flirts with other women, namely machi- and talks about chrollo and Illumi way too often. hisoka will go on and on about how much he'd love to fight them, how powerful they are, and probably drop a few suggestive remarks about their appearances and what else he'd like to do besides fight them. it would likely happen so frequently that you'd begin to feel insecure, and then when you'd bring it up he'd be like, "i only appreciate a challenge every now and then, darling- i'm afraid you just aren't that scintillating. but you do make a lovely toy."

chrollo lucilfer

· he stalks you. chrollo has an extremely difficult time trusting people, and although he pretty much knows he can trust you, he still closely monitors you despite your repeated pleas for him to stop as he can get quite invasive sometimes. he will follow you when you go out, go through your phone and personal belongings, and often puts you through the third degree once you do get home after being out.

· doesn't actually like showing you off. not in a flashy, arrogant way or anything- but he just doesn't like acknowledging that you're his s/o in front of others. the slightest show of affection from you towards him before others, especially the spiders, will either result in his blatantly ignoring you or a visible (but still subtle) rejection. you dislike this because it often seems as if he is ashamed of you, despite him reassuring you that he isn't; he just "wants to keep personal relationships personal."

· being the leader of the spiders, chrollo is often quite busy- and you rarely see him. he only comes home after midnight most of the time, and when you wake up he's gone again- and that's only when he's in town. majority of the time he's away somewhere in a location he likely didn't tell you about first. what pisses you off most is when he claims to be busy when he's away but is actually off playing tag with hisoka or something.

· if you're angry or something similar chrollo will just brush you off if not outright ignore you. he doesn't make much of an effort to find out why you're upset, and a lot of the time he comes off as aloof or uncaring.

kurapika kurta

· is also never there. kurapika is usually too preoccupied with his personal emotions, especially matters concerning the phantom troupe, that he usually doesn't think much about leaving you behind to pursue them or something like that. you spend very little time with him- it's a big obstacle in your relationship, and he's never around for you two to figure things out.

· will put you aside for the spiders. he's even openly stated that he is more concerned with the troupe than he is with you. he'll rush out on any affairs with you if news of the spiders comes up that he feels he needs to act on.

· endangers himself all the time with no regard to how he may hurt himself or affect you if he is hurt. kurapika is prone to overspending himself, using too much Nen or emotionally draining himself. you go weeks without hearing from him often, only leaving you to sit and bite your nails wondering anxiously if kurapika is even alive.

· his emotions are so turbulent that you can never decipher what is going on in his head- and you'll be damned if he tells you. most of the time he can't even figure himself out- and this gets especially frustrating when all you want to do is help him.

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