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loud-mouth-loser · 2 years

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in the alps: chapter one

summary: you never expected to meet anyone this far in the middle of the alps, especially not a sleep deprived gift-shoppist

pairing: [eventual] steven grant x reader, marc spector x reader, jake lockley x reader

rating: a little angst?

warnings: descriptions of depression-like symptoms

wc: ~1.3k

a/n: an intro to in the alps

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Inheriting a cottage out in the middle of the alps was never something you expected, but you’re glad that it happened.

You’ve been stuck in an endless loop of life in London, barely able to tell each day apart, simply floating between your apartment, the bus, and work.

There was a gray filter that ceaselessly inhibited you from being happy with yourself or anything around you. Perpetually absorbing every sliver of light that could sneak itself into your life.

It was to the point that when you’d wake up, you just wanted to go back to sleep, not seeing the point anymore.

You were a fresh-faced kid right out of college when you decided to foolishly take the first opportunity out of the states, thinking life could only get better once you escaped. But you were scooped right back into a little fish bowl, swimming in circles without anyone to lean on. You stupidly left the few friends and family you had to search for a new start, a new beginning for your dream life.

Then you got a call. Or rather, you received quite a few emails, letters, and voicemails. You were never good at keeping up with inboxes, or actual mailboxes for that matter.

Used to empty conversations and junk mail, you didn’t feel the need to open anything if they weren’t your bills or paycheck. You’d leave them in a drawer to collect dust, too exhausted to go through anything after a day of work, or sometimes, just a day of living.

You were taking a much-needed nap when you were jolted out of your peace by the vibrations of your phone next to you. You tried to wait it out, but as soon as the first call ceased its ringing, another one followed.

You childishly groan out, begrudgingly open your eyes as it restlessly taunts you. You curse your pre-nap phone habit as you pick it up, ignoring the unrecognizable number.

“Sorry, I’m not interested.”

“Wait, hold o-”

You hang up without another thought, settling yourself back into the warmth of your nap spot, shivering at how satisfyingly comfortable it is. You’re about to fall back into unconsciousness when it starts to buzz again.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” This time, you blindly reach for the phone, still laying on your back as you answer. “Yes?”

“Ms. Hawthorn?” Oh great, one of your distant relatives is giving out your number now.

“Sorry, you must have the wrong number.” You’re about to hang up again, already grumpy from your interrupted nap when you hear your full name. That catches your attention.

“...Are you aware that you are the prime heir to Florence Hawthorn’s monetary and property assets?” Your breath catches in your throat. Your great aunt is dead. This is the last thing you expected to hear.

You had never met her, but you heard that she lived the life of a rich spinster, closed off to the rest of the family after she refused to marry young. You heard stories about her from your mother and her parents, but when they passed, the stories went with them, only a whisper-trace remaining in your memories.

The only evidence of her existence was the Christian Christmas cards she’d send every year, signed off with her signature “Yes, I’m still alive” written in barely decipherable cursive.

“H-heir? F-Florence?”

“Yes, I’m sorry to report she passed away 3 months ago.”

“But–I’ve never met her. How could I possibly be-” You are speechless, mind overwhelmed, unable to process what you’re hearing.

“Ah, but you are. Being that your mother is no longer with us, you are the next in line.”

“Well, uh, what am I supposed to do?”

“The insurance company will send over some papers for you to verify your identity and relation to Ms. Hawthorn, and the details of what you will receive will follow.”

—-

The decision to leave London was easy. Actually, it was hard thinking of a reason to stay. All you had was a tiny apartment and a deadbeat job. No friends and no family, not even a fish to hold you back.

Aunt Florence’s cottage sits in the middle of a vast field, miles from any sign of civilization.

It’s kind of daunting, but coming from a bustling city, you could kind of understand the desire to have some peace and quiet away from others.

If it weren’t for the pleasant breeze brushing up the side of the mountain, the bike ride to town would be impossible. It’s supposed to take you approximately 30 mins to bike there one-way, but it usually ends up being an hour or so with all the breather stops you take. Thankfully, someone created a man-made path straight towards the town’s church and though it’s barely a few feet wide, it at least remains relatively flat.

When you arrive on the edge of the small town, you’re greeted by a disintegrating church. The graying structure of the building looks like it’s been eroded by years of dust and rain, clearly, it’s been out of service for a while.

It makes you wonder why your aunt would continue living here if there isn’t a church around because literally, the only things you have ever associated with her are money and Christianity.

As you explore deeper into the town, you realize it’s all built around one fountain, every bakery, boutique, and home, ripples around the intricately decorated water attraction.

After walking through the cobbled roads and visiting a few shops for essential items, you decide this town is exactly how you hoped it to be: quaint and slow-paced with a nice sense of community.

Everyone seems to know each other, whether they’re passing by a neighbor's house or ordering their ‘regular’ at the coffee shop. It’s a nice change of pace from city life.

—

You wake up in a dark room, stretching yourself until your leg starts shaking vigorously. It’s your three-week anniversary with this cottage, and you still haven’t gotten used to waking up with the sun. You can hear the faint noise of birds singing outside your window, ready to start the day at dawn.

Might as well join them.

Your days usually consist of making meals, reading books, and hanging with Sardine.

Sardine is the roommate you found yourself sharing the cottage with. It took you approximately a week to find out that your aunt had an outdoor cat. After a couple of nights of scratches against the front door and screeching meows, you realized he wasn’t just passing through, he was a permanent resident.

He is an affectionate cream and gray spotted calico who is not afraid to scream for a meal and who never stays the night. You decided to name him Sardine, simply because he’s a cat and eats fish. He doesn’t seem to find it very amusing, but you literally have to hold back giggles every time you call for him.

After spending afternoons with him purring softly in your lap as you absentmindedly pet him, you never knew how you went without a pet. He's good company. Never one to judge or make comments about the dumb shit you admit to him. He’s as content as you wish you could be, simply enjoying life as a cat.

With a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and a hefty outdoor cat under your other, you take a deep breath of the crisp fresh air around you, finally feeling peace.

“Hello?!” You squint your eyes at the vast field in front of you, thinking you heard a faint yell. “Helloo?!” You can barely see a man waving his arms in the distance as he rapidly approaches the cottage.

#moon knight #steven grant #marc spector #jake lockley #steven grant x reader #moon knight series #steven grant x you #marc spector x reader #marc spector x you #jake lockley x reader #jake lockley x you #oscar issac #oscar issac x reader #oscar issac x you

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brascu · 2 years

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I need to say things about Ben6 and Dave in season 3.

Klaus don’t try to contact them, because there’s no use.

Ben6 is not in the void. He simply ceased to exist. Nothing of him is still there, no particle of his soul exists. Klaus knows it, and he knows it since the moment he woke up in Dallas.

Dave, his Dave, doesn’t exist as well. Sure, that kid he confused back in 1963 existed, yes, but they never fell in love. Dave could’ve died earlier at the war or escaped death, wathever. The point is that for him Klaus is just a queer freak who lied to him and made him feel freaked out. He doesn’t love Klaus, he doesn’t know Klaus. He’s just a charlatan in his eyes, a liar. And if he died and Klaus called him from the void what would happen? Why this boy should be stripped from eternal peace for this guy he saw twice? Klaus knows this as well, he knows it when he’s leaving 1963.

And both these things happen fo Klaus to loose people in a way that matters, for him to actually grief.

We saw how in 2006, when Ben died, he was ok with it. He just had to call him. In the first 2019, he’s desperate because of Dave’s death because he’s afraid he won’t be able to call him back as well, but he still has hope.

But in 1963 he loses both in the only ways that matter. Ben’s is more than death, he’s out of his reach or anyone’s, he doesn’t exist anymore. And Dave, he lost Dave in life, his Dave will never exist and they will never love each other.

He’s the only one with these memories and he has finally a reason to mourn.

#ben hargreeves #dave katz #klaus hargreeves #Tua #tua s3 theories #the umbrella academy

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honeybeezgobzzzzz · 1 year

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𓅨 As Dawn Breaks: Chapter Twenty-Two

As Dawn Breaks: Mother Night and Father Time, after having sired seven Endless to personify life in the known universe, create Earth and human life begins. One last Endless is created: Dawn, the personification of illumination and hope, the beginning of a new day and a chance for happiness and improvement. A love will span thousands of millennia, breaking with every sunrise and renewing hope come sunset. Yet, even the personification of hope can lose the very notion of her existence from the sting of a broken heart.

Warnings: Explicit Language, Explicit Material (Unprotected Sex is a No No).

To Note: Dream/Morpheus x Endless!FemaleReader(Dawn), This Involves Themes That Are Not For Everyone.

Word Count: ~2.5k

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The feeling of your legs giving out was instantly washed away by an orgasm that was sending electric shivers to every part of your body… but rather than flopping to the ground, Morpheus caught you and cradled you against his chest while nuzzling his face into your hair. You took several gulps of air, your chest heaving and your entire body now feeling euphoric. Staring up at the open sky, your fingers trembled as they weakly curled around onyx strands. You softly moaned within his arms basking in the aftershocks of what Morpheus’s love brought. Tenderness. Love. Adoration. He was everything you needed to feel complete. You felt tears start burning in your eyes again, but this time from the happiness of simply being in his arms again. You felt complete once more.

Twisting in place, Morpheus gently brought your naked and trembling body down to the soft grass of your private courtyard. His hands brushed the hair from your face as you hazily blinked up at him. Then he leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours. You shuddered and sighed, drawing a hand from his hair to his face. Your fingers trailed across the dampness that still clung to his lips and chin, and you felt alone streak of heat burn through your already warm cunt. Morpheus always managed to wreck you in the best way possible. Eyelids fluttering, your eyes peered up into blue dusted in silver.

“What a way to worship, my Dream,” You softly teased, curling your fingers along his cheekbone in eternal appreciation. “To make my legs so lax that they are unable to support me? Surely an achievement you can add to your repertoire.” A black eyebrow twitched upwards.

“Oh my Hope, I have only just begun,” Morpheus drew out, his voice deep and rich. “And I shall not design to cease until I am sure that you are aware fo the gravity of my apology and fully understand my burning devotion and idolatry to you.” Your fingers pressed harder into his face, loving the smoothness of his flesh and the unbelievable beauty of Morpheus. Mother Night and Father Time had done an unbelievable job sculpting him into creation. His eyebrow and lips quirked, his fingers coming up to brush across your swelled lips. “And now what runs through my dear sweet Dawn’s mind to have her looking upon me with such awe? Should it not be me who gazes in reverence, my Hope?”

You cupped his face and enjoyed his beauty further.

“You’re so beautiful,” You softly commented, your eyes glowing with passion and love. How could one being be this beautiful? Your fingers drifted, running across his cheekbones, brushing along his lips, stroking his jaw. His eyes were still that extraordinarily blue color dusted with stars and stardust, and the obsidian black hair that Morpheus never bothered to comb was just as soaked in night as it had been eons ago. Alabaster skin glowed with the purity of an untouched, newly formed planet and the hum of his essence whispered just below flesh in a hungry clash of thunder. Morpheus’s eyes wavered in a mirage of explosive power and tender love as he stared down at you. Your fingers stroked his face once more. “Please love me, my Dream. I’ve been so lonely without you.”

Morpheus bowed his head, his forehead pressing against yours for a few moments.

“I shall never leave you to despair alone, my Hope,” Morpheus whispered to you, his nose brushing against yours. Your eyelids fluttered close as you basked in his tender words and gentle touches. You loved how soft and gentle your Endless lover, in all his power and might, could be. How, despite his seriousness and brevity, he allowed himself to be vulnerable when within your arms. It was like only you got to experience the real Dream, and oh how you loved him. Morpheus’s lips grazed yours ever so softly. You slipped your hand to the back of his neck and tilted your head, allowing yourself the pleasure of tasting his lips once more.

Morpheus basked in your taste, desperate for his hands to wander your soft body, to run across your lush curves, to feel the embrace of the only entity who ever made him feel at home. His lips slowly became more urgent against yours, roaming across your mouth until you drew in a sharp breath, a surge of warmth filling your body. Morpheus pressed forwards, slipping his way past your parted lips to get a deeper taste of you, tongue laving at yours. He kissed you deeply, over and over until the skin of your neck and face sweltered. You were almost dizzy from his kisses, your naked body shifting and squirming against his still clothed one.

Your legs still shook lightly from the pleasure Morpheus had pulled from your body and the harsh throb in your cunt made you whine against his mouth. Not even Morpheus’s open mouthed kisses and tongue twisting with yours until you felt heaven sent could distract you from what your body felt. From what your body wanted. He caught your lower lip and gave it a tug. Your proceeding soft whimper fed his need to drink your ethereal body and once again become a willing prisoner to your touch. As Morpheus ran his hand down your body, lazily stroking your breasts and caressing their soft curves, your fingers grasped his onyx hair. Morpheus then ran his fingers along the line of your hipbone and you pushed your hips against his touch.

“My Dream, please,” You begged, that throbbing within your cunt nearly becoming painful. Oh how you just wished to be filled by him once more. Only he could cease that painful empty sensation. You tugged on his hair once more as Morpheus shifted his lips to gently nip at the skin of your bared neck. “Please, my body aches for you, I need you, I need you.” How cruel of him to be so close but still so far. You wouldn’t feel complete until your very essences were intertwined once more. Another frustrated whimper slipped from your swelled lips.

“Forgive me, my Hope, but you must wait just a little longer,” Morpheus whispered soothingly against your neck, lips pausing over the area where your essence hummed and beat beneath your skin. He slipped his fingers over your curls to your drenched and sensitive flesh that he, only moments before, had been drinking from. Morpheus stroked his thumb over your clit and you let out a delicious moan, your hips lifting into his hand once more. “If I take you in the way that you wish I will hurt you. You know that I will not have you unless I am satisfied your body is ready for mine.”

Your frustration was clear on your face, as was your dissatisfaction with his words, but the moment Morpheus pushed his long fingers over your clit and through your folds a second time, your impatientness evaporated. Breath catching in your throat, your arm slipped over his shoulder and you scratched at his jacket. Fire streaked between your legs and your thighs trembled around his wrist as he continued to stroke your swollen flesh.

“Morpheus,” You gasped, feeling a finger dip into your body and stroke your walls. Then he added a second finger, stretching out your tightened body. “Oh,” Your walls clenched around his fingers, desperate for more and yet entirely comfortable with the girth in which he stretched you. Raising his gaze, Morpheus watched as you bit your lip and squirmed against his ministrations. Oh how you looked so beautiful, you always did. Chest rising and falling at a faster pace, your stared up into the face of your lover and sank your teeth into your lip, smothering the sounds of pleasure that bubbled in the back of your throat. Morpheus grabbed your chin with his free hand and tugged your lip from the bite of your teeth.

“You think to deprive me of your melodic sounds, my Hope?” He sounded insulted and his eyes echoed that sentiment. You shuddered beneath him and his fingers plunged faster, deeper, into your body. Your eyelids fluttered and you gasped out, mewling and whimpering from Morpheus’s increased strokes. He teased more ecstasy from your cunt, but that was not what your throbbing flesh craved. Surely with how his fingers slid into your body with ease and slickness from your earlier orgasm you were well prepared for your lover. Morpheus thrust a third finger into your body. You physically tensed at the stretch, jerking on the fistfuls of hair you held as a kiss of sting settled between your legs.

It seemed your body had forgotten your lover.

“See, my Hope” Morpheus gently spoke to you, his lips fluttered across your jaw as your walls clenched around the fingers stretching them back out. “Your body doesn’t recognize my love, I will have to reacquaint it with my full adoration and reverence.” The sounds of his fingers repeatedly plunging into your body, combined his thumb occasionally caressing your clit, had you in a squirming mess upon the grass of your courtyard and well ready to beg.

“I need you, Morpheus,” You cried out, harshly tugging at his hair and pressing your face against his. “Please, rid me of my emptiness, I beg of you, my love.” Morpheus stroked your wobbling lower lip once more, he never could stand your begging and his hunger for you was nearing an unbearable insatiable state. So with a soft growl, Morpheus retracted his fingers from your body and made his own clothes melt away to nothing. The moment you felt his naked skin on yours, your wiggling tempered and you softly groaned. You could feel the warm cock against your throbbing mound, teasing you and making that throb turn sharper. Your breathing quickened.

Morpheus held your jaw, nuzzling his lips against yours and savoring the little pants and whines that slipped from your lips. Your patience was not nearly on par with Morpheus’s and that was well apparent. While he slicked his cock through your soaked folds, Morpheus pressed his lips against yours once more, nibbling on them ever so softly before nudging them apart so that he could once again tangle his tongue with yours. Drinking in your intoxicating taste and laving his tongue against yours, Morpheus pressed the head of his cock against your opening and ever so slowly pushed himself into your body. It resisted against his intrusion, but not nearly as much as when he had first taken you all those eons ago, but it was enough to make you softly whimper and tense within his arms. Dragging his mouth from yours, Morpheus brushed his lips across your cheek.

“Relax my Hope,” He whispered to you as you fought against the urge to tense further at the sensation of his cock stretching you out again. Your nails dug into the muscles of Morpheus’s back, your cunt pulsating around his cock. You felt heavenly around him and it his muscles strained to keep his pelvis pressed against yours. Your walls were clenching almost painfully around him, hot and welcoming. Another tense shiver went up your spine. “Dawn,” Morpheus chided, nipping at your jaw, his intense blue eyes boring up into yours.

“I can’t help it,” You gasped out, wrapping your limbs around him, basking in his sharp kisses on your tender skin. Surely they would bloom with color in a few hours. “I never feel complete unless I am with you and I am starving for you. Do you design to leave me hungry?”

Blue shifted to a silver glow and you felt a shiver run along your spine. A hand settled on your waist and fingers seared into your skin. Morpheus held you gaze as he drew back his hips from yours and then thrust forwards, your cunt clasping his cock fiercely and rippling from that one action. He repeated his action, watching as your eyes rolled slightly and lips curving as your grasp on his hair once again turned sharp.

“I have left you ravenous for eons, my Hope, and that is a heinous crime.” Morpheus purred, settling into a rhythm that made you squeak out a gasp each and every time the head of his cock buried itself into the depths of your cunt. You were gorgeous beneath him, cheeks flushed with heat and chest heaving, and the way your walls fluttered around his cock was utter ecstasy. Morpheus lowered his mouth to a breast and sealed his lips around a nipple, sucking on it through his continued thrusts. You cried out, chest thrusting against his mouth. His tongue toyed and flicked your nipple, playing with the hardened bud.

Your fingers raked across his scalp and you bucked your hips against his, pelvises crashing against each other. Morpheus growled against your chest and bit at the soft tissue, you fed off his sounds, your cheeks now glowing with heat. Eyelids fluttering shut, you dug one of your heels into his lower back, loving the way Morpheus seemed to fill you completely each and every time he plunged deep within your body. His mouth released your nipple and Morpheus kissed his way up your chest and neck until your mouths were hovering over each other. You felt your essence slip free of your physical body and wind its way around your body, searching. It didn’t have to search for long.

Morpheus’s essence surged forwards in a storm of dreams, swallowing yours whole until your cosmic entities were wrapping around each other. An explosion of sensation sparked within your essence as you floated through time and space, Morpheus wrapped around you, in you. Your being finally intertwined to form the perfect connection and as shards of ecstasy rippled throughout the cosmos, you became undone within your lovers arms, finally at peace.

Back in your physical body, you moaned at the ache between your legs and the swell of love within your body. After being hollow for so long, your physical body was unaccustomed to the influx of emotions and reverence. Let alone the cosmic coupling that your essences craved. Lips ghosted across your cheek and hands collected your limp body within strong arms. You were cradled against a smooth chest and your face tucked into a neck. Slowly cracking your eyes open, you gazed at the beautiful skin of your lover as he carried you from the courtyard. Morpheus entered your private chambers and settled you down on your soft bed.

“Morpheus?” You spoke out as hands trailed along your body. Morpheus caressed your shoulders, traced your sides, appreciated the beauty of your thighs. He joined you on your bed, pressing kisses along your skin. Tingles bloomed where his mouth had been, echoing his complete and endless devotion.

“It has been eons since our essences joined as one, my Hope,” He replied, nipping along your jaw and placing kisses at the edge of your mouth. “Give your physical being time to recover, my love, for it will surely need it when I am through with you.”

You let out a pleased moan, knowing that he would not allow your body to stray from his until he was satisfied that you fully acknowledged and understood his veneration. You doubted that you would be able to walk once he was finished.

Date Published: 3/31/23

Last Edit: 3/31/23

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#morpheus x reader #morpheus #lord morpheus #sandman x reader #the sandman x reader #dream of the endless x reader #dream x reader #dream the endless #dream of the endless #the sandman netflix #the sandman #dream the endless x reader

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blazepug-blog · 5 months

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Euthanasia Rollercoaster - by Blazepug

Bubbles fill a colourless abyss

A poppy pink figure stares down my true form

The messenger of death has arrived

It has been a while since we have last saw each other

A dusted switch is flipped

Lights bounce and switch

The bored ballroom is breaking apart

Salvation seems through a slit in the fabric of me

Me and the messenger

We go way back;

long before death disappeared

And everyone slowly began to crack.

But now they've done their duty

Gently, lovingly, truly

And to repay the favour

I begin my barrage of attacks

We've waited

For our fated.

Final assaults

And now it's time to waltz.

Welcome to my true

Final rendezvou.

The most important one

Is still left.

The choir of lost souls

watching our final fight

bellow into the scarlet night.

Keep your guard up

Keep your guard st-dy

For the universe's final "Foe"

Is ex--aor-nary

It ha- no- been eas-

Th- e-d of mankind

We are reaching the end of time.

The snail is yet to fail in its task

to erode me - set us all free.

It's done so well

It's come so far

Will it have what it takes?

Go gentle with the dying of the light

Let immortality fade, don't rage

Do not fear death

for it has come

to free us

Strike me down!

Let us end this!

We will finally

cease to exist!

Oh won't you come and see

That this has to be

Not just for you and me

But for all those trapped in eternity

O- won't you com- and se-

Tha- thi- ha- to -e

N-- ju-- fo- y-u an- me

B-- -o- al- ---s- tra-p-- in eternity

Ou- mes------ hat- com-

We'-- ---nal- be d-n-

The me-senger str-ke- m- d--n

An- w- ---- finally

Set free

#everhood #everhood pink #everhood final boss #writing #poetry

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facelessxchurch · 2 years

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I go on and on wondering why the Unnamed has no name. Was he born that way? Was it separated from him in a similar way to Valkyrie? Is it still out there somewhere, like Darquesse, if so? Did it become a universe, like Darquesse? Is he really a Faceless One and Faceless Ones just have no true names? If Valkyrie had become a FO without losing Darquesse would her true name have ceased to exist? Did that happen to Malice? Does Abyssinia have a true name? So many questions, not even a hint of answer

I headcanon that the Unnamed found out his True Name the same way Argeddion did. He was researching magic, but with the motive to grow his own powers and push them beyond the limits of what other mages though should be possible. To do that he was also looking inward, examining his own magic, how it and it’s connection to the source worked and while doing that he discovered his own True Name. Instead of just sealing it, he found a way to removed it completely, believing it to be in the way of him reaching his full potential.

A big reason why he was able to find his own True Name is bc he knows his nature and who he is. He is completely honest about himself to himself. No denial, he knows he’s a bad person, but he just doesn’t care.

And that’s why Mevolent will never be able to find out his True Name without help of the Book Of Names. Bc he isn’t honest about himself to himself. He is completely in denial about his villainous nature and finds a million ways to justify his bad deeds. He is idealistic and simply too delusional which had always put him at a disadvantage compared to his late master.

#The Unnamed #Mevolent #Mevolent headcanon #skulduggery pleasant #true name #answered #anonymous

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finely-tuned-line · 1 year

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RP:

Log 237

FTL: I have checked on the running experiments, it appears that nothing has gone drastically out of my control during my... well, I shall call it what it essentially was. A breakdown.

FTL: Irrelevant, pointless, distraction.

FTL: ...Right. So the green lizard returned approximately a half-cycle ago. It did actually bring poleplants with it, thankfully. Honestly, I am quite surprised that this even worked out, for such a convoluted, roundabout, and honestly somewhat-farfetched plan.

FTL: Either way, I do have samples of poleplant now. I have planted it within on of my unused chambers - in a sectioned-off area of soil, not directly into myself, of course. Whatever I didn't use, I left outside, for the green lizard. Perhaps it'll miraculously succeed in planting the poleplant and cultivating it in some fashion. Or, most likely, it will just consume it, and then either move territory, or simply repeat the process of leaving and then returning.

FTL: Not that one's much of a difference from the other. Both are... Well, repetitive monotonies, I suppose, for that is indeed a descriptor that one could attack to either. It is also a descriptor one could attach to my own life. I am unsure how I'm supposed to react to that though.

FTL: Why am I still thinking about this?

FTL: I established that I have nothing better to do beyond fulfilling my purpose, not that there's anything else that I interest myself in. I have established that there is nothing I can change, in order to- I don't even know what for.

FTL: I do rather hate the fact that the state of not knowing something is becoming all-too-common as of late.

FTL: But I suppose if there's one thing that Eternal Anomaly is correct about, it's that there are many things that I do not understand, when I should, and everyone else appears to be able to do so.

FTL: Perhaps that's the source of Echoes of a Paradox's pity towards me.

FTL: Not that it matters, it doesn't matter.

FTL: I hate the fact that I appear to be unable to properly move on from this for the time being. It is- frustrating. It's frustrating. Annoying, even.

FTL: Where did the way I used to be able to exist go? When did I fall from the peak that was my attempt to reach perfection, my attempt to be my very definition as best as I could?

FTL: I suppose all I have left to do is reiterate the one fact that I am sure of within all this - that all I have left to do is try again. And again. And again. That was what we Iterators were built for, afterall. Not matter what purpose each of us has.

FTL: But beyond the pointless dilemmas, I have not many other updates on my experiments. I have catalogued the green lizard's progress. As for the cyan lizard, nothing has happened.

FTL: Truly, I might even dare to call it somewhat lucky that nothing happened. It's never a good idea to leave an experiment unfinished, not only due to potential dangers of Rot. It could also mess up the experiment, amongst a wide variety of other potential complications. For once, I do appear to have luck - as illogical as the concept of luck itself is.

FTL: Now that I have acquired what I required from the green lizard that was my attempt at a purposed organism, I am once more considering the though of asking fo help with this. It appears that even this has not ceased the wish to learn more, especially about fields adjacent to my own.

FTL: I suppose I could ask, there is nothing at stake here - not even my loose pride anymore. Would be easy to simply cut my losses and learn from someone who knows what they're doing rather than figuring it out themselves.

FTL: I'll take it into consideration... I cannot keep delaying and rearranging projects like this. I should probably finish what I was doing first...

FTL: I do have time. Nothing but time. Maybe I'll even figure things out by the time I die. Though, that is unlikely.

#riiiight listen i wrote the last.... 1/4 of this while half-asleep #WHY IS THIS SO LONG #i didnt expect this to be so long #????#im just gonna go the fuck to sleep #not many comments tonight #rp #finely-tuned line #ftl logs #i would like to state that i have NOT proofread this log...#alright thats all o7

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charlottedabookworm · 2 years

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#2 (A) - Bolt

feat Set (& Arbert)

day two fo ffxivwrite and we are taking a trip to Elpis. Spoilers for the lvl66-67 quests in Endwalker. this is also a sequel to this which contains some background (tldr ardbert was still following set around, set thought he was a hallucination, except a certain new old friend could see him in elpis and set figured out how to make him solid)

“I say… have you perchance come from the future?”

It feels like his heart stops in his chest, every thought in his head breaking apart like waves against the shore, his jaw falling open.

How did she…? Tefh’a turns his head until he can glance at his brother.

Ardbert twitches his shoulders, narrowing his eyes. He opens his mouth, obviously about to deny everything from the set of his mouth, and-

He reaches out and rests a hand on his shoulder, a part of him still giddy over the fact he can.

“Set?”

“It was one thing when… but…” Fuck, but it was one thing to use their assumptions against them. Half-truths and pointed silences… But to actually outright lie when-

They’re shit liars, both of them. They cannot deny the truth without losing the trust that is necessary for them to find the answers they are looking for but they can’t tell the truth either. If they do, Emet-Selch at least will demand to know why and-

And-

They’re all going to die, Tefh’a thinks. He glances around Elpis, at the creations and the researchers who are laughing and chatting and living below, at the life and the signs of civilisation and love… They’re all going to die and we’re going to say nothing, he thinks and the grief that wells in him is so deep that he can hardly breathe.

Ardbert flinches. “Tefh’a, we can’t. You remember what he said.”

He laughs. “I know.” I know, he thinks, but have we ever trusted Elidibus?

“No,” his brother says, hand raising to rest on his own. “But he wasn’t lying.” He says and he’s right.

They both know it. Elidibus told them the truth and they know it as much as they know the soul-deep betrayal (and the guilt) that they felt in the face of the man’s soul.

“I know,” he says again. He does. He bonded with the foremost expert of time magicks, he knows. He knows that any change they make here risks their future ceasing to exist. In trying to help the people of Eitherys, they could destroy everything and everyone they have ever loved. And, based on G’raha’s experiences, they would continue to exist; a momument to their lose, their sacrifice, their folly.

They shouldn’t help these people.

The lives here… they aren’t worth any more than the people on the Source, on the First, on any of the other reflections. Their deaths are tragic and they should let it happen and-

But…

“Could you forgive yourself?” Tefh’a murmurs beneath the argument the ancients are having over the possibility of time travel. We could save these people, could you forgive yourself if we didn’t even try?

I couldn’t.

Ardbert gives a slow shake of his head. “But you have so much more to lose… your siblings, your family, your husband…”

He breathes out a silent sob that shakes his bones, his hands falling to his sides as fists. His lungs burn and his chest is heavy and the thought of losing them hurts. The thought of never seeing Raha’s smile again, of never hearing Alisaie’s laugh or the touch of Alphinaud’s aether or the comforting embrace of his mothers again, it hurts. It hurts so much and Tehf’a wants to back away. He wants to change his mind. He wants… “They’d understand,” he says instead.

They’d understand, he knows as surely as blood flows through his veins. He loves them so much and they know that, he’d told them that, and they’d understand. “If it were them in our place, they’d make the same choice.”

Wrapping the grief and the pain up in a ball, he shoves it into a mental hole and slips the bolt shut.

“We have to try, Ardbert.”

The gold-shimmer-earth-warmth rope between their souls echoes with understanding, with agreement, with ancient loss. Ardbert nods. Smiles.

“If the two of you are done discussing,” Emet-Selch drawls, a thunderous scowl on his face. “I am ordering you to answer Venat’s question, by authority of the Convocation of Fourteen.”

Ardbert crosses his arms, scowling back. “Yes.”

“I beg your pardon-”

X’tefh’a Tia sighs. The bond hums gently with comfort-understanding-love. “We’re from the future, aye. I guess… We have a lot to discuss.” His words echo with finality.

With hope.

(With the death toll of everyone he’s ever loved)

#my fic #ffxiv #set aneirin #ffxivwrite2022 #ffxivwrite #the problem with set is he can't bring himself to be selfish #he wants to *help* people #and he looks at the people of elpis and thinks them all dead and he-#he (thinks he) knows that to help them is to sacrifice everything but he has to try #he has to try and save them #he has to try and he knows his family would understand and yet he still hates himself a little for it

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roman-catholic-mass-readings · 1 year

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20th March >> Mass Readings (USA)

Solemnity of Saint Joseph, husband of the Blessed Virgin Mary

(Liturgical Colour: White: A (1))

First Reading 2 Samuel 7:4–5a, 12–14a, 16 The Lord God will give him the throne of David, his father (Luke 1:32).

The LORD spoke to Nathan and said: “Go, tell my servant David, ‘When your time comes and you rest with your ancestors, I will raise up your heir after you, sprung from your loins, and I will make his kingdom firm. It is he who shall build a house for my name. And I will make his royal throne firm forever. I will be a father to him, and he shall be a son to me. Your house and your kingdom shall endure forever before me; your throne shall stand firm forever.’”

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 89:2–3, 4–5, 27, 29

R/ The son of David will live for ever.

The promises of the LORD I will sing forever, through all generations my mouth shall proclaim your faithfulness, For you have said, “My kindness is established for ever”; in heaven you have confirmed your faithfulness.

R/ The son of David will live for ever.

“I have made a covenant with my chosen one, I have sworn to David my servant: Forever will I confirm your posterity and establish your throne for all generations.”

R/ The son of David will live for ever.

“He shall say of me, ‘You are my father, my God, the Rock, my savior!’ Forever I will maintain my kindness toward him, my covenant with him stands firm.”

R/ The son of David will live for ever.

Second Reading Romans 4:13, 16–18, 22 Abraham believed, hoping against hope.

Brothers and sisters: It was not through the law that the promise was made to Abraham and his descendants that he would inherit the world, but through the righteousness that comes from faith. For this reason, it depends on faith, so that it may be a gift, and the promise may be guaranteed to all his descendants, not to those who only adhere to the law but to those who follow the faith of Abraham, who is the father of all of us, as it is written, I have made you father of many nations. He is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed, who gives life to the dead and calls into being what does not exist. He believed, hoping against hope, that he would become the father of many nations, according to what was said, Thus shall your descendants be. That is why it was credited to him as righteousness.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Gospel Acclamation Psalm 84:5

Blessed are those who dwell in your house, O Lord, they never cease to praise you.

Either:

Gospel Matthew 1:16, 18–21, 24a Joseph did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him.

Jacob was the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary. Of her was born Jesus who is called the Christ.

Now this is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about. When his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found with child through the Holy Spirit. Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet unwilling to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly. Such was his intention when, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her. She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” When Joseph awoke, he did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took his wife into his home.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

Or:

Gospel Luke 2:41–51a Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.

Each year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the feast of Passover, and when he was twelve years old, they went up according to festival custom. After they had completed its days, as they were returning, the boy Jesus remained behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. Thinking that he was in the caravan, they journeyed for a day and looked for him among their relatives and acquaintances, but not finding him, they returned to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions, and all who heard him were astounded at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished, and his mother said to him, “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.” And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he said to them. He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

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meret118 · 2 years

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One Instagram post said, "988 is not friendly. Don't call it, don't post it, don't share it, without knowing the risks." The post, which had garnered nearly a quarter of a million likes as of early August, went on to list the risks as police involvement, involuntary treatment at emergency rooms or psychiatric hospitals, and the emotional and financial toll of those experiences.

Other posts on Instagram and Twitter conveyed similar concerns, saying that the hotline sends law enforcement officers to check on people at risk of suicide without their consent and that people, especially from LGBTQ+ communities and communities of color, may be forced into treatment.

. . .

"I realize there is an urge to rescue people in crisis, but the reality is the services that exist make the problem much, much worse," said Winston, who works in mental health peer support and has started an online support group for people recovering from involuntary treatment.

Research shows suicide rates increase drastically in the months after people are discharged from psychiatric hospitals. Those who were sent involuntarily are more likely to attempt suicide than those who chose to go, and involuntary commitments can make young people less likely to disclose their suicidal feelings in the future. Some people also get stuck with large bills for treatment they didn't want.

Emily Krebs, a suicide researcher and assistant professor joining Fordham University this fall, said that involuntary treatment is viewed as a necessary part of suicide prevention in the U.S., but that other countries don't see it that way. The United Nations has called forced mental health treatment a human rights abuse and asked countries to ban it.

. . .

"Warm" lines are one option. They're typically staffed by "peers," people who have experienced mental health challenges. They focus less on crisis intervention and more on emotional support to prevent crises. You can find a directory of warm lines by state here.

Below are other hotlines and resources. This is not a comprehensive list, and some resources may limit their services geographically.

Blackline is a hotline geared toward the Black, Black LGBTQ+, brown, Native, and Muslim communities

Kiva Centers offers daily online peer support groups

M.H. First Oakland and M.H. First Sacramento operate during select weekend hours in the California cities of Oakland and SacramentoPeer Support Space hosts virtual peer support groups twice a day Monday through SaturdayProject

LETS provides support by text for urgent issues that involve involuntary hospitalization

Samaritans of New York is a hotline based in New York CityTrans Lifeline is a hotline for trans and questioning individuals

Wildflower Alliance has a peer support line and online support groups focused on suicide prevention.

Links for above in the article.

Excerpts:

The turn away from confidentiality toward surveillance and datafication has been met with widespread criticism on other fronts. Just recently, Crisis Text Line, a nonprofit SMS-based suicide prevention program, received an outpouring of outrage after users found it was profiting off the data generated by those in crisis; the Federal Communications Commission went so far as to demand Crisis Text Line cease the practice. It did so almost immediately (and now the FCC has called on the Federal Trade Commission to investigate), but Crisis Text Line remains, as so many other hotlines do, in partnership with the police. Even after the protests to defund police departments and to remove police from mental health care in summer 2020, even after the World Health Organization and U.N. Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights called for an end to forced treatment, crisis lines and police departments continue to cooperate.

We know that police violence, criminalization, and forced treatment are racialized. If historically suicidality has been understood as a white, adult, male mental state, in our contemporary moment, this is no longer the case. The fastest-growing demographic of suicidality is now Black youth ages 10 to 19, with attempts up 73 percent since 1991, while attempts among white youth declined in the same period. Meanwhile, interaction with the police while in crisis increases suicidality at the individual level and decreases trust in hotlines at the community level. Where will Black callers—and others—turn next time?

By only contracting with providers that use nonconsensual intervention, 988 guts the confidentiality that has long been a core feature of the hotline, while increasing surveillance on the most targeted and vulnerable in our communities. Not every hotline currently puts its callers at greater risk. Trans Lifeline, BlackLine, Samaritans, DASHR, MH First Oakland, and many others continue the legacy of early crisis care work, as do others not gathered under the NSPL network. They find that, for their callers to trust them and therefore receive the help they need—and only that help—the threat of nonconsensual intervention must be off the table or at least much further down the list.

#Trigger warning #Suicide #Involuntary commitment

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navxry · 11 months

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.redips taht ot dnoceS .lortnoc ni syawla saw I .on ,hO ?lortnoc niag ot seviL .nosirp ym -mlaer siht fo senifnoc eht fo tuo yaw a dnif ot evah ylerem I .tfad eb t’nod ,hO ?od ot evah I tahW

.enif tsuj sdrawkcab dna drawrof daer nac I ,esrever ni kaeps ot deen t’nod uoy ,ffo tsriF

.ynnuf yreV .ynnuf er’uoy ,ahahahah ,tffp…

— ∅

I see... I'll ignore your first two comments for now, since they don't provide answers for my inquiries. Clearly, you know more than you let on.

You were a prisoner, you said— from what you told me, you were trapped by someone else and the realm you're in is a cage no man can break. Are you implying that the people that is in the prison you're in, they couldn't get out? Was there any way they have entered?

Also, speaking of the spider, who are they? Yami met someone there— 🕊️, I believe. They mentioned something about a vision with a spider web. Do you have any knowledge on who the spider you mean is?

And if you break out of the prison you're in, what would you do after? That's one thing that puzzles me so, Ø. Forgive me if I'm being too blunt, but your goal of escape is a little... Too short sighted. Do you have plans to do after you've left the void for God knows how long?

...

I can't exactly keep you here with me, where... I live, I'm afraid. I doubt a being like you would enjoy living in a place where time ceases to exist.

... where minutes feels like years, and years may feel like seconds. Do you get it?

So I'll ask again: what will you do once you escape? Do you even have a plan made after? Escaping the void is the first step, but I don't see any long term goals you may have.

Again, I'm no cruel being— think of this as me asking for information and information alone. I'm not an enemy of yours, nor am I your friend— I'm just an observer who found this whole thing... Concerning. But interesting to not leave.

... so, do tell me, Ø. Do you have any plans after you manage to leave the realm?

#🌹 | navi speaks #🌹 | tea time with: Ø anon #🌹 | navi's lore drop

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kidneycent99 · 1 year

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The Uncovering genetic roots of marijuana use disorder PDFs

Marijuana Use Ailment: Indications of Marijuana Use, Abuse & Addiction Indications of a Cannabis Use Disorder Cannabis make use of condition (CUD) is a prognosis given for light, moderate, or extreme problems along with marijauan make use of. For adults, cannabis make use of ailment is considered psychotic indicators and it's normally followed by personality problems that consist of hallucinations. To prevent more confusion, it's important to be informed of any type of signs and symptoms and how long they take to lead to complications.

In order to be detected with a marijuana use problem, a person have to reveal at least two of the 11 signs that the DSM-5 establishes forth, and they need to develop in the same 12-month duration. The person who has a unbalanced condition are going to be offered with one indicator; a client with a drug use condition will certainly likewise be presented along with the second, and a 3rd, symptom. Individuals along with a unbalanced condition might have signs including stress, depression, aggressiveness, hyperactivity and animosity. The variety of indicators determines whether a individual is diagnosed along with a moderate, moderate, or extreme cannabis use ailment. Signs and symptoms generally start within six months of beginning marijuana usage, but can easily be intense, intense, or prolonged. A lot of instances of intense marijuana usage ailment generally start for a lot less than five years, until rehabilitation. Most patients start use in feedback to treatment or support. Key Reference of seriousness can be a reason of challenge in self-management. Chronic signs and symptoms typically begin in six to eight months. For folks worried about their own marijuana make use of, or for those interested concerning someone else’s use, these 11 standards can be thought of indicators to see for. When speaking regarding how to pick a pot-heavy program, we obtain our information coming from one of the rules, "In overall, use for leisure use of cannabis should not be taken in much higher danger instances. The same tips additionally highly recommend that health care marijuana individuals use much less cannabis by any means, including clinical weed. The 11 standards, rephrased, are as follows: Loss of command : using even more marijuana or utilizing it for a longer time frame of opportunity than wanted Social issues : not engaging in significant work, social, pastimes, or entertainment tasks because of weed use Inability to quit : having the need to gave up or to reduce the quantity of cannabis made use of but not being able to carry out it Overlooking risks : continuous usage of weed despite dangers that arise around it Yearnings : Experiencing an craving to utilize cannabis when not using it Stress of existing problems : ongoing usage also though marijuana usage is worsening an existing bodily or psychological complication Difficulties in principal balls of lifestyle : due to the cannabis make use of, not being capable to conduct to one’s acquainted specification at residence, job, or university Tolerance create : over opportunity, needing more weed in order to acquire the intended, familiar result Ignoring problems created through use : despite the unfavorable influence that the cannabis use is having on connections, continuing to use the medicine Withdrawal : when not taking the acquainted amount of marijuana or when ceasing use fully, the emergence of drawback symptoms Irregular emphasis : devoting as well much opportunity and too numerous resources to weed usage As the 11 provided indicators reflect, there is actually a physical and organic element to marijuana make use of condition. A interested person may view a signs and symptom arise, but not understand where it places within the advancement coming from recreational usage to misuse to a cannabis make use of condition. The individual who has viewed the symptom are going to be given a prescription for the prescription. The pharmacist is accountable for administering the medicine and the relevant information supplied to the client. The pharmacist will at that point take the relevant relevant information from the patient and the individual will definitely be offered a prescribed which he or she are going to use afterwards. But the crucial factor is realizing that the individual may be increasingly sliding down the slippery pitch from smoking cannabis to “possess enjoyable” to violating it out of necessity and understanding. The regulation allows for social cannabis use without being apprehended under the rule. However, the Marijuana Policy Project (MPP) encourages legalisation of drugs, consisting of marijuana, so that there would be no risk of being caught and taken to court if the rule is not adhered to. The person might not recognize that the use has been troublesome, or also scientifically significant. Such unfavorable reactions would be a lot much less probably for trainees whose issues have been took care of with an tailored social environment that includes additional details.". The end result were reported in a Journal updates launch. Porter and his associates located that the students who were originally omitted from lessons by administrators and classmates understood simply concerning that group eventually in the term, the final opportunity they were permitted to acquire into Class VIII classes.

#Chicago Psychiatrist near me #Chicago Psychiatrist

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