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mangoguy · 28 days

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CBF!König x GN!Reader (Chapter Two)

Warnings: reader has a dad (they are adopted), no pronouns but 'you', König has a name, bullying (not from you or König)

Alexander gets a note from a girl, you get a bad feeling about it.

Comments/Reblogs are greatly appreciated!

Age: 12

Memory Three

“Who threw the first punch?”

It’s been about two months since school started, things with Alexander slowly improved… though the boy was still as confusing as ever. Outside of school you both continued to be stuck in this awkward-phase, where his mom forced him to hang out with you. He was still as quiet and fidgety as ever when you were around. But, being at school was a whole different story. He continued to stick to you like glue, although only spoke a few words whenever you tried to strike conversation. You tried to bring up your fight on the first day of school but he just glared at you… you didn’t bring it up again.

On the other side, things at school didn’t really improve, Felix was still bullying Alexander though now he set his target on you also. But now you know it wasn't just him, it was two others who liked picking on Alexander and by extension, you as well. Their names were Max and Annika. The three didn't pick on you as much as Alexander… but there were some petty times they did whenever you were in the halls or playground. You tended to ignore it though, but you didn't get why they kept it up. Was sticking up for Alexander really that punishable of a crime? Or was it because you talked back to Felix? You’ll probably never know.

You were getting sick and tired of it though. Sure, they often said hurtful things but it annoyed you more than anything. You often were too shy to stick up for yourself, ironic considering you had no problem standing up for Alexander just months before. You sighed as you laid in bed, the weekend was now over and Monday was looming over the horizon. You stared out the window, the town was quiet now. You were slowly getting used to it, your old neighbourhood used to be quite busy, but it was dead silent here. Sometimes you’d hear the occasional car pass by, but that was rare. Your eyes were slowly closing when there was a small tap on your window. You ignored it, figuring it was some rogue tree-branch hitting the window from the wind… but then it happened two more times in quick succession. Now you were weirded out and also a bit scared. It continued for a while, there was one more tap that was quickly followed by two more before it stopped all together. You didn’t dare check who it was, fearing that maybe it was a ghost – as silly as that was -- You faced away from the window and tightly closed your eyes, letting sleep take over you.

“Why didn’t you answer the window?” Alexander spoke the following morning. You two were sitting on a bench near the play structure. You looked over at him, puzzled by what he meant.

“What do you mean by that?” You asked.

“I was trying to get your attention last night…” He mumbled, fidgeting with the corner of his notebook. You squinted at him before remembering the odd taps at your window last night.

“Oh… That was you at my window? Why didn’t you just wait till the morning to talk?” You asked incredulously.

“Yeah, I was throwing rocks, I just wanted to-” He never got to finish his sentence before a girl walked over, you recognized her since she typically hung around Felix and his friends. But they didn’t seem to be around, nor paying attention to you and Alexander (not that you were complaining). She slapped a note onto his lap before sprinting off, Alexander stared at his lap before taking the note in his hand.

‘Meet me at the field after lunch, I have something to confess to you <3’

“That… sounds like a bad idea,” you mumbled.

“Yeah… but…” You noticed the slight hope in his eyes, he was trying not to be too hopeful. You couldn’t help but feel bad though, wondering if this happened often. You wondered how many fake confessions he got in his lifetime by girls who wanted a quick laugh.

Probably one to many.

“Hey, I can stop by with you… I’ll place some space between obviously but you won’t be alone in case anything happens,” You suggested.

“Um, sure…” He pocketed the note and that was it.

“So what were you going to say before you were interrupted?”

“Oh, uh, I’ll mention it later… it’s time to head in anyway,” he motioned his head towards the door where kids were starting to line up. You sighed through your nose before both of you followed suit.

“Wow, she’s actually here!” You could hear the excitement in Alexander’s voice. This was the happiest you’ve seen him, it was nice if you were being honest. He did look jittery though, wiping the palms of his hands on his jeans and taking a huge breath. You nudged him forward with your elbow, shooting him a smile before sitting down on the grass. He sent you a halfhearted glare and slowly made his way over. You couldn’t hear what was being said but you could tell it was probably a confession of sorts considering the two were red in the face. It wasn’t long before she ran off and Alexander was patiently waiting. A few minutes later you see movement near a bush, you focus your attention on it and low and behold Felix jumps out and pushes Alexander to the ground.

“I can’t believe you actually fell for it again!” Max laughed as he also came out of the bushes and watched Felix pin Alexander to the ground. His face was being pushed into the grass as he was kicking and flailing his arms, trying desperately to get up. You shot up quickly and ran over to the three, stopping just short of Alexander and Felix.

“Let him go,” You demanded. Felix just pushed Alexander’s face into the ground more, making him yell out in pain.

“And what will you do?” Felix spoke mockingly, seeing you hesitate on moving any closer. You never thought of hitting anybody, not even when Felix and his friends were bugging you. You could see Max walking closer to you, like he was about to grab you. He stood in front of you, blocking your view of Felix and Alexander.

“Just walk away, this doesn’t even con-” Max didn’t get to finish his sentence before you shoved him away. He tumbled backwards onto Felix and Alexander. You rushed over to him, helping him back up and pulling him away from the scene. Seems like luck wasn’t on your side as Max growled in frustration as he got up and charged over to you. He took you by the collar of your shirt and took the first swing at your face.

You don’t remember much after that.

But you and Alexander fought back like hell.

“You should have both kids expelled!” You heard one mother screech at the principal. The parents all ended up getting a call after a teacher noticed you and the others failed to come back. Said teacher recalled the events as ‘a ball of beaten up and bloody kids.’

Alexander was panting lightly, mostly from exhaustion. He looked worse for wear, grass stains, bloody nose, cuts, and bruises littered his body. You looked the same though your right eye was pretty banged up. You didn’t get the chance to assess Felix and Max, though from their groaning in the next room they probably weren’t any better than you two. You heard Alexander sigh as he plopped his head on your shoulder. It made you flinch a bit, you were tender there and he gave a quick apology.

“No one is getting expelled… technically your boy started it first” You heard the principal reply.

“My Felix would never!” She yelled again, she was like a toddler having a tantrum.

“Look, we’ll give them all a suspension for this unacceptable behaviour and I’ll make them write an essay on why fighting is bad, it's the best I can do.”

“Bullshit…” You heard your dad speak before storming out the room, he walked over to you.

“Come on, kiddo, let’s go,” dad spoke softly, you could tell he wasn’t very impressed by your behaviour. He took your hand and led you over toward the entrance. You looked back at Alexander who was now talking to his mom, from the looks of it she was really giving him an earful.

You could already hear the lecture your dad was going to subject you to.

Words: 1433

Chapter Three (coming soon)

#call of duty #cod mw2 #modern warfare 2 #könig call of duty #könig cod #könig mw2 #cod x reader #cod x you #guy.writes #konig x reader #cbf!könig #cbf #könig x reader

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betterthanburrow · 1 year

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I Know Places - Joe Burrow

Summary: After months of keeping the relationship a secret from the general public; TMZ decides to exposes the relationship between NFL Quarterback Joe Burrow and WWE Wrestler Y/FN Y/LN… Now the newly-exposed couple has to deal with the aftermath of their private relationship being exposed for the world to see.

Genres: Fluff and Angst (Warning: Mentions of Anxiety) (Secret Lovers AU)

“Just Grab My Hand and Don't Ever Drop it, My Love, They Are The Hunters, We Are The Foxes, and We Run” - Taylor Swift; I Know Places

It should not have been a surprise that the notifications coming from your phone woke you up out of a peaceful sleep and as you turn to grab your phone, with the screen light shining bright on your face trying to figure out the reasons why your phone is going off so early in the morning hours before your alarm.

The alert text messages from your manager confuse you as this morning was one of your only off days that you have during the week where you can relax at home and not be on the roads traveling from different cities to do wrestling shows every week.

Things have never been easy for you since joining WWE as you quickly became one of the company’s most popular wrestlers by winning multiple championships across the three major WWE brands: Raw, NXT, and Smackdown… While the love from wrestling fans is one of the reasons your passion for wrestling continues to grow, the obsessiveness that some wrestling fans have over a young woman in the business is the reason you’re so private about your life.

Scrolling through all the text message notifications before you can unlock your phone, you feel your boyfriend move closer to you and snuggle right behind you while wrapping one of his arms around your waist trying to pull you closer to him as he was slowly starting to wake up out of his peaceful sleep due to your movement.

“Darling… it’s too early for anyone to be awake” Joseph mumbled. “Who is texting you at this hour?!”

“It’s my manager…” you whispered. “I was just about to unlock my phone, it has to be important seeing as she knows today is one of my only off days.”

Finally unlocking your phone, as Joseph tries to fall back asleep, seeing the texts from your manager that woke you up from a peaceful sleep… Your eyes widen as the article link your manager sent to you causes an anxiety bubble to start forming in your chest, sitting up in a panic causing Joseph to groan in his attempt to fall back asleep, you click the article that you never thought you’ll see being written about you and Joseph.

TMZ EXCLUSIVE

WWE SUPERSTAR Y/FN Y/LN AND NFL BENGALS QUARTERBACK JOE BURROW CAUGHT TOGETHER IN PUBLIC DURING THEIR OFF-TIME.

As you read more of the TMZ article, you feel as if your heartbeat is beating out of your chest and the world goes quiet. The paragraphs written by some reporter exposing your relationship with Joseph are in descriptive details of how the two of you met through mutual friends which started forming a friendship that quickly turned into something more once Joseph’s off-season from the NFL started earlier in the year and how you’ve been keeping this secret from all of your co-workers in WWE as you were terrified of how people would react due to the reaction of your last relationship.

Scrolling back to the top of the article, looking at the two photos that TMZ decided to use in an attempt to get more clicks, you easily recognize that the photos were taken at an private party that Joseph and you are invited to attend by Pat McAfee a few weeks ago.

The private party has less than 30 people in attendance and everyone in attendance knew about your relationship with Joe Burrow. In that moment in time, you didn’t realize that photos of you and Joseph were being taken as it’s very clear the two of you were in your own world on the party dance floor but you weren’t thinking about who took the photos, you were more focused on the thought that your private relationship is now a public relationship.

Joseph groans in his sleep once again as the light from your phone is illuminating the bedroom, his cold hands touch your back in an attempt to get your attention causing you to zone out of your thoughts and be present back into the real world.

You quickly turn to Joseph and by the look on your face that he sees due to the light of your phone, the NFL quarterback can easily tell that something was wrong.

“What’s wrong?!” Joseph asks as he’s rubbing his eyes to try and wake himself up. “Did something happened in the WWE?!” As your eyes tried to make eye contract to focus on him, your mind is wandering all over the place as your frozen still.

Joseph notices your frozen figure and sits up in a panic to comfort you in his arms while he takes the phone out of your hands, finally feeling free from your frozen form you wrap your arms around his waist and cuddle into his chest as Joseph finally reads the article that has you in a panic state of mind.

The NFL Quarterback carefully read through the article noticing the descriptive details that “insider sources” claimed to know about your relationship and many more photos of the two of you out in the town, holding hands and acting as a normal couple that wasn’t being followed by stalkers who felt as if it was their right to expose your relationship before the two of you are ready.

After the trouble you went through because of how your 2 year relationship with AEW wrestler “Jungle Boy” Jack Perry ended, due to the pressure of being in two different wrestling companies and continuously being stalked by wrestling fans. You faced so much backlash for the how the relationship ended even though it was a mutual decision between you and your ex-boyfriend, but the internet loves picking sides.

Joseph tosses your phone on the bed and wraps his arms around your body, pulling you closer to his chest to give you the comfort that you needed… As much as the rage boiling inside his chest wants him to get on his phone to make calls and to start yelling at his manager for allowing TMZ to leak this information to the general public before either of you were ready for the world to know, all he wanted to do was protect you from the world that has shamed you for being a woman in love that knows her worth and deserves much better than the love that she has received from ex-boyfriends in the past.

Finally after many minutes of the two of you just sitting in silence, trying to comfort one another and realize that the privacy that your relationship had was all gone… You decided to slowly move away from Joseph’s chest, unwrapping your arms from his waist while Joseph unwraps his arms from your body and sitting up to face each other.

The light phone that was tossed onto the bed is still the only light that is illuminating the room and the morning sunrise is barely peeking it’s way through the dark curtains of your shared bedroom.

A text message notification sound cause you and Joseph to look at your phone before you decide to grab it and read the message, it shouldn’t be surprising to see another text message from your manager.

You feel Joseph move closer to you once again as you both read the messages on the screen from your manager that you didn’t read after seeing the text message that was the link to the TMZ article.

The text messages from your manager reads that they’re trying to figure out who these insider sources are claiming to know so much information about your relationship with Joe Burrow and trying to figure out who sent these photos to TMZ. The newest text message states that the reaction from wrestling fans and NFL fans about your relationship is mostly positive, but more articles about your relationship are being spread around by more media sources.

“I’m sorry.” Joseph apologized. A confused look appeared on your face when you turn to look over your shoulder before Joseph continued his thought. “I’m sorry I didn’t protect you the way that I should’ve.”

“Joseph… what are you saying right now?!” You asked, still confused on Joseph’s apology. “None of this is your fault?!”

Joseph sighed. “It was my idea to go to Pat McAfee’s party a few weeks ago-“

“There are photos from other events too. We weren’t caught at the party: These stalkers have known about our relationship for months and TMZ is only just know releasing the articles with all the photos. There are no places that we could’ve hid from them. They found us and took pictures of us at the park, the stores, out walking the streets, at festivals and many more places that we’ve went on dates too… How could we have known that we have been stalked for these past few months?!” you exclaimed as your hands grab your hair to pull and you curl into a ball. Joseph took your hands from your hair and interlocking your fingers together, he knows that when you get easily stressed out that you like to pull at your hair in an attempt to distract yourself from the stress with pain.

“I just- I just don’t understand…” you stuttered, looking at Joseph who notices the fear and worry on your face and the tears in your eyes. “Things were going so good for us; for many months we were able to live our lives together and apart without the judgment from people who think they know us, we didn’t have to care about the things that people who don’t know us thought. we didn’t have to worry about all the things that caused my past relationships to fail.”

As the anxiety bubble is your chest is causing you to struggle to breathe as the tears stream down your face, you turn away from Joseph while letting go of his hands to wipe your tears away. All Joseph could do at the moment is allow you to continue to talk through your feelings of fears.

“We already struggle so much to be together with our schedules, and it’s only going to get worse when the next NFL football season starts.” you exclaimed, looking back at Joseph who had an apologetic look on his face. You take a moment to think about what you said, the last thing that needs to happen right now is for you and Joseph to get into an argument. “I’m sorry… I’m not blaming you I swear-“

Before you could finish your apology… Joseph wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into his lap to be as close as he can be to you as you wrap your arms around his neck to bring him close to him into a hug.

As he rubs his hand against your back and hums a melody of an familiar song, your panic breathing from the anxiety bubble in your chest starts to deflate to match his breathe pattern and as you hold each other closer… It’s in this moment you realize that Joseph isn’t going to leave you, this rough patch that you’re going through in your relationship with him isn’t going to cause him to want to give up and leave.

You’re not the only one who is going through the hard time of dealing with your privacy being exposed to the world by people who only want to make a profit off your names and relationship, while you’re making this situation all about you due to the anxiety you felt after seeing the article with the photos, you failed to realize until this moment that this will affect Joseph too as he has been private about his life outside of football.

After a few minutes of Joseph’s hums of familiar song, the sunrise light is starting to shine through the curtains and the early morning sounds of birds start to chirp outside your window… You pull away from Joseph and he gives you a soft smile before leaving to give you a kiss on the lips.

The kiss doesn’t last long as Joseph’s alarm goes off for football practice goes off, he quickly reaches over to his nightstand to turn off his alarm before his arms hold your waist as you’re still sitting on his lap with your arms around his neck.

“I promise to you, that I will not allow anything to let our relationship falter under pressure; no one in the world is going to stop me from loving you the way that i’ve been loving you for all these past months and how i plan on loving you even more every second of the day until death due us part. This is a promise that i plan on keeping forever, do you plan on keeping the same promise to me?!” Joseph asked.

Being very overwhelmed with so many emotions in the past hour, unable to speak or else you know you’ll be crying in Joseph’s arms (but this time, for a good reason). All you could do is nod your head and pull him close to you once again as you kiss him with so much passion.

You don’t know how the future your relationship with Joseph is going to be now that the foxes was finally caught by the hunters… but one thing you do; is that as long as Joseph decides to stick by your side, the two of you can be able to outrun the predators together and will be able to keep what makes your relationship so special to yourselves without outsiders’ opinions.

Author’s Note:

i hope you enjoyed reading my first fanfiction that has been published on this account. please like, comment, and reblog the fanfiction if you enjoyed the story… it really does help out small writers gain an audience of readers.

thank you for all the love and support! 🤍

#Joe Burrow #NFL #CBF #Cincinnati Bengals #LSU Tigers #Joe Burrow Fanfiction #Joe Burrow Fanfic #Joe Burrow Fic #Joe Burrow Imagine #Joe Burrow x reader #Joe Burrow OneShot #Joe Burrow x OC #Joe Burrow x Y/N #NFL fanfiction #Spotify

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burntpink · 3 months

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@badauecomunica on instagram → sources

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pedrifsx · 1 year

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baby

richarlison x reader

warnings - pure smut, not even a plot. just smut, too horny for their own good, first time writing on here, head while he’s on call, very kinky.

“oi, querida, can you come here please?” he shouted from across their shared house, eyes glued to the game that him, emerson and neymar were playing.

“yeah, babe, what’s up?” you went up to the living room where he was manspreading all across the couch.

you stood, leaning against the doorframe waiting for him to answer. he paused his game and muted himself from the boys.

“hold on bros, lemme talk to the misses real quick,” he apologised quickly before taking off his headphones and placing them down on the coffee table.

“what do you want?” you say, quick and slurred as you look the kitchen, making sure you turned off the stove.

“just wondering what you were cooking,” he said giving you a innocent smile.

you scoffed, a little pisses wondering why he couldn’t have just walked over to the kitchen that was five meters away.

“you couldn’t have just went to the kitchen?” you shrugged, crossing your arms.

“on a game, i’m on my grind,” you smiled at the man.

his bare chest was put in the open with a necklace dangling from his neck that reached his chest.

“aren’t you cold? it’s like 3 degrees.” your eyebrows knitted together as you asked.

“nah, not really,” he replied, his eyes going to the computer screen, “okay that’s all, baby, you can go back to cooking.”

a quick okay left your mouth as a stood up straight and went back to the kitchen.

a couple of minutes later, the dish that you have been preparing was ready.

“richy!” you shouted once.

then again.

then the last time.

you went over to his office to find that he was still gaming while being on call with the boys, vini now joining. you knew because you heard the familiar voice of your step-brother.

“richarlison! i’ve been calling for you for about 5 minutes now, what are you doing?” you whisper-shouted at him.

it startled him a bit then he put one of the earbuds out of his ear.

“i’ll be there in 10 minutes, baby,” you scoffed at the man as he had the audacity to tell you that he would be down in another ten minutes.

you stood there biting your lip softly thinking about what you could do to catch his attention.

you walked over to his chair and rubbed his shoulders before bringing yourself up on his desk. your thighs spread out as you sat down.

“hello?” his voice hinting a bit of irritation, “can you move?”

and with his mean words, you kneeled down infront of him.

he didn’t really notice what you were doing until you removed his basketball shorts off of him.

“oi, what are you doing?” he laughed nervously as his steady hands stayed on the controler.

the next thing he knew, his boxers were below his knees leaving him fully naked. he groaned lowly, enough for you to hear as you smirked.

you took your mouth and kissed his shaft, his dick was now semi-hard.

he groaned once again occasionally looking down on you.

you licked his tip while both hands were rubbing the base.

he rubbed his eyes as you went lower down his hard cock.

“fuck- keep on going,” he groaned loudly.

“ai, o que é que foi isso?” neymar shouted from the mic making andrea smirk once again. she loved the feeling of suspense.

all of a sudden, he grabbed your head and bobbed it up and down roughly, like he was impatient.

“fuck,” he growled, “im close.”

you sucked him off violently, waiting for him to come.

he then shot his seed up your throat as you swallowed.

you pulled away with a string of saliva keeping you connected. he looked down at your kneeling self with his lustful eyes.

“pessoal, eu estou indo,” he quickly disconnected from the call with the boys and immediately looked at you, “you’re gonna get it.”

you smiled as if you were innocent. you hoisted yourself up on the desk once again.

he then lifted you up and supported you by clutching onto your ass whilst he smashed into your lips. all of this felt like a fever dream as he guided himself to your shared bedroom that outlooked the view of a busy london night.

he dropped you into the bed, still kissing your jawline.

“shit,” a moan escaped your lips as he sucked your neck, leaving a reddish-purple mark.

he then grasped on the hem of your shirt and with one swift movement took off the oversized t-shirt to reveal your slim body that was only covered by his favourite lingerie.

he slipped off the lacy black bra that you were wearing and straight after, his left hand matched with your left nipple. his fingers fiddled with your nipple while his mouth played with the other.

a whimper emitted out of your mouth as his hands traveled along your delicate body. his fingers soon found the straps of your thong.

he removed it and threw it across the floor landing on God knows where.

he grabbed both of your calves, spreading your legs apart and revealing your pulsating pussy.

“we’re you that impatient?” he asked, implying that you wanted him badly.

you couldn’t manage out a word so instead you moaned.

“speak,” he commanded, wanting you to tell him with your words.

“yes,” you whimpered, “need you to fuck me good.”

#football smut #richarlison smut #richarlison #football #i need him inside me #cbf #brazil #richarlison x you #richarlison x reader #richarlison x y/n #smut

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xuxuzinhoo · 7 months

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Quando você tá de folga - Richarlison

Richarlison! x leitora ° conteúdo adulto! ° período menstrual ° leve humor quebrado ° Richarlison namoradinho fofo ° você bem manhosa pedindo pica °

Você tá naqueles dias.

Suas mensagens, ligações e qualquer tipo de conversa com seu namorado terminam em sua súplica para ele te foder com o mero argumento de uma desculpa esfarrapada sobre como os treinos de futebol o mantém tão ocupado que na folga você só quer saber de foder com ele, pois assim, ia ser possível matar a dolorosa saudade e te ajudar a passar esse período tão difícil.

Ao contrário do que esperava Richarlison é completamente contra a ideia. Faz uma cara fechada, bate o pé no chão que nunca iria fazer aquilo. Se estava mal de tpm ele só ia te dar uma barrinha de chocolate e carinhos inocententes.

Odiou a decisão e fez birra durante a manhã todinha pedindo para ele meter só um pouquinho. Mas nada adianta, em vez de pica, ganha uma carranca e nariz torcido "Tá doida garota... fazer isso não, vou te machucar"

"vai nada" diz manhosa, agarra o peitoral da um empurrãozin' de leve. Resmunga baixinho "para de me negar pica homem"

"Tá me tirando. Para de mentir que eu sei que vai doer pra caralho "

"Amor não vai! Não doi!"

"vai sim princesa. Você nem deveria tá pensando nessas coisas agora, coloca uma bolsa de gelo pra apagar esse teu fogo. Nunca vi Cólica de tesão"

"Mas eu tô mal e você disse que ia me dar carinho! E isso é carinho"- segura as panturrilhas do jogador e faz carinha pidona - um carinho... com seu pau - sibila.

E ele te nega de novo. Mas quando te vê igual uma gatinha no cio, se esfregando no corpo dele toda vez que dá um mole, decide te dar um pouquinho de pau, porque, segundo você era para seu próprio bem.

E aí ele fala que vai meter, mas vai meter com carinho sem machucar a bucetinha. Nem se importa com a sujeira, acha que vai se controlar pra dar carinho na sua menina , mas não é capaz - segundos depois de entrar metendo forte - fica alucinado com o buraquinho mais molhado e apertado que antes e você sem perceber vai fazer Richarlison querer te foder em todo esse seu período.

#richarlison #ptbr #smut pt br #fanfic #cbf #seleção brasileira #brazilian culture #br!au

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maryangelex · 4 months

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I’m in love with the childhood best friend trope and already talked about cbf!soap, but now I’m thinking of cbf!ghost and hmmm very tempting

#cod mw2 #call of duty mwii #fanfic #cod fanfic #ghost mw2 #simon ghost riley #ghost riley #headcanon #simon ghost x reader #cbf #childhood best friend trope #cbf!ghost

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iconsneymarjr · 1 year

Photo

#neymar #neymar junior #njr #neymar jr #icons neymar #neymar icons #cbf #qatar #fifa world cup #qatar world cup #selecao #seleção brasileira

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going-to-ikea-for-the-fries · 2 months

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Home. (ALT ENDING) || cbf!Simon "Ghost" Riley

Rating: M Words: 3K (this one got away from me, sorry) Pairing: cbf!Simonxafab!reader / teen!Simonxteen!Reader Summary: Teen Simon and his best friend often spend their nights away from their respective houses because they found a home in each other… CW: mentions of psychological issues, mentions of self-harm, mentions of therapy Tags: you/your pronouns, hurt/comfort, ANGST, forgiveness, catharsis. a/n: not proofread. THIS IS THE HAPPY ENDING. I'M STILL NOT HAPPY WITH IT, BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS.

[FIC MASTERLIST] || [MY MASTERLIST]

-------------------------------------------------------

Anyone would say that Simon Riley is good.

Good company for going out drinking.

A good partner for duos in training.

A good shot.

A good soldier.

A good candidate.

A good recruit.

A good lad.

But Simon would say he’s a bad, bad man.

Even before he took this job.

Destined to rot from the inside out.

To become the things he’s promised himself to not ever become.

Finding a way out of home, out of the trauma, only works if some of it is not already inside of you.

Slowly eating you up.

Ever-lasting.

All-consuming.

That’s what Simon figured out in the last 15 years.

Grief.

Depression.

Rage.

Antisocial tendencies.

Psychopathy.

PTSD.

Compartmentalization of emotions and trauma.

Tendencies for self-harm and self-sabotage.

Fear of vulnerability.

Trust issues.

An inclination for isolation.

A past muddled by juvenile delinquency and early drug and alcohol use.

An avoidant attachment style in any relationships he attempts to form due to an inability to truly connect with others.

An identity crisis stemming from low self-worth and a disturbed self-image.

The list goes on.

Simon would say he’s got it all under control.

But any Army-appointed psychiatrist would disagree.

And he’s too valuable of an asset to let go of…

Just the ‘depression’ diagnosis would land the average soldier on a watchlist and the ‘tendencies to self-harm’ would get anyone a medical discharge and interned into a psych ward.

Thank God Simon’s not the average soldier.

Price has been pulling strings to keep him around, calling in favors to people for his sake and getting people to turn a blind eye to the fact Simon Riley has not gone to a single routine psych check in the better part of a decade.

In exchange, however, that forced Simon to take a deal with Price and instead see an off-site psych expert. A friend of Price’s, a retired psychiatrist who has no way of getting him discharged.

As such, every time he goes on leave he drives some 4 or so hours from Hereford to a small village in Cumbria up north to see her. He always spends the first week of his leave there, in a chalet right smack in the middle of the Lake District National Park… It’s peaceful and nice. Over those 5 to 7 days, he talks about anything and everything.

At first he hated it, but with time, it did bring him clarity on a lot of his issues without any sort of danger or judgement. In her words, Dr. Armstrong had been dealing with John’s shit for “far too long”, and nothing Simon would tell her would make a dent on the appalling things she’s heard… And true to her word, Simon hadn’t spotted any shock or discomfort in her, even as he spoke of some utterly vile things.

She made him feel heard, understood, welcome… alive, even if more often than not he didn’t quite feel human. He always came in the door like the ghost of his moniker, a shadow, with steps too hard, body too stiff, breathing too tense, eyes too sharp… And left with an ease and lightness uncharacteristic to someone like him… Dr. Armstrong unraveled all the damage during those 5 to 7 grueling days… Only for him return to base and begin the process of hardening himself once again.

He’s thirty-three, you’re thirty-two today.

He dragged himself out of the comfortable bed in the guest house nearby to the chalet, and threw on a hoodie and some slides before he ventured out to the main house across the stepping stone walkway and into the house through the sliding glass doors.

Dr. Armstrong was already at the breakfast nook in the kitchen when he came in. She’s not quite gone gray, but she’s getting there. Her face is steadily getting more wrinkled compared to 10 years ago when this started. She’s wearing a light blue robe and a set of warm pajamas. Her hair cut into a pixie à la Judi Dench. “Good morning, Simon.”

Simon, meanwhile, is all disheveled, hair sticking up from having just woken up, face peppered with a 5 o’clock shadow, eyes still crusty and face unwashed. “Mornin’.” He grumbled as he poured himself a cup of tea and popped two slices of bread into the toaster.

“How did you sleep?” She asked him as she regarded him over her green-frame reading glasses, which adorned the tip of her nose. She took a sip of a black mug with a cat’s whiskers drawn in it in white.

“Same as usual…” He replied as he stirred some milk into his tea. He grabbed the plain toasted bread and plopped it into a plate and began to turn to join her at the table when she set down her tea mug and leaned her elbows on the table, giving him a pointed look with a cocked brow.

Holding back a groan akin to a moody teenage boy’s, he set down the plate and cuppa, and grabbed some butter and a knife, spreading it over the toasted bread. He was thankful that Dr. Armstrong forced him to take care of himself, he was… But it doesn’t mean he was happy about it. “How did you sleep?” He returned.

“Slept well, thank you.” She replied and kept a stern watch over him as he reached the fridge and grabbed a yogurt and a small box of raspberries. He poured the yogurt into a bowl, topped it with the fruit and a drizzle of honey from the bowl in the corner of the counter, and then took his slightly more nutritious meal to the table.

She watched him closely as he began to eat his buttered toast, letting him have a moment of stewing in the ‘forced’ meal. She took off her glasses, folding them shut, and set them aside, along with her tablet, and stared at him.

In a way, Simon was more of a son than a patient to her, after so many years helping undo the damage the military and his childhood wracked on his head. He looked forward to the routine, needed it, so much that if he didn’t have these moments with her as often as he had grown accustomed to, he’d start acting a bit erratic. A bit more prone to violence, a bit harder to contain, a bit harder for John to keep a handle on. “What’s on your mind this morning?” She asked him with a cocked brow.

He finished his toasted and wiped his mouth. Then he started toying with the spoon resting on the edge of his yogurt bowl. “That it’s a bad week to be here.” He told her.

“And why is it a bad week, Simon?” She asked him as she leaned her head on her palm.

“There was this girl,” He began to say before he spooned some yogurt into his mouth. He had long stopped wearing a mask while staying over at Dr. Armstrong’s house. His scars were always on display for her to see. “who I grew up with. Her birthday is this week.”

The older woman nodded her head as she watched him closely. “I see. And… this ‘girl’... Was she a friend? A girlfriend?”

“I guess.” Simon said as he ate another spoon of yogurt, brown eyes lowered and focused on the red raspberries suspended atop the fatty yogurt. “We were like…” He trailed off. “She was… erm…” He stopped again and exhaled through his nose.

“I see.” The doctor said as she kept watching him. He kept eating quietly. “And… I assume you don’t talk to her anymore?” She asked.

“No.” Simon replied. “After I joined the Army, she moved away from Manchester and we lost contact.” He said softly.

“Do you still think about it?” She asked him. “About her?”

“Sometimes.” He admitted as he stirred his spoon in his bowl before sighing again and eating another spoonful. “A few times a year… Around her birthday, and mine. And Christmas… And the anniversary of the day we met…” He listed.

“And how does it feel…? Nice? Sad? Bittersweet?” She trailed off, knowing sometimes Simon needed help verbalizing his emotions.

“Sad.” He replied bluntly and ate a couple of spoonfuls of yogurt in a row before pushing the now empty bowl aside with the spoon resting inside of it.

“And cruel.” The woman watched as he rolled his shoulders, a bit tense, and raised his irises to look at her, eyes softened. “It’s been 15 years since she left Manc, left me and I-” He trailed off.

Looking away, he kept talking, and talking. “I still think about her. I think I’m okay, I think I’m doing good, doing better, and then those dates come and I’m reminded that she exists, that she’s out there, that she… that she went off and found herself a place and I’m here, and have nothing to show for it, just some stupid fucking medals pinned to the breast of my suit and blood on my hands that doesn’t wash off in the fucking sink.” He hissed bitterly, his eyes unfocused as he poured it all out.

“She was like me. We did everything together, were basically attached at the hip. She was my partner in crime, like a home away from home. Sure, dad beat me and mum, and scared us all and I’m much better now and I’ve grown up, but nothing feels okay. Nothing feels normal or good. It’s all just… just bullshit!” He hissed, his breathing beginning to grow faster. “I go through the motions but I don’t feel okay, I don’t feel safe.” He turned his head away from Doctor Armstrong.

“The last time I felt safe I was in her arms, looking into her eyes and telling her that I loved her for the first time and making all these promises for a future that didn’t happen. A future I stole from the two of us.” He grumbled. “And the worst part is that I used to blame her for leaving, for seeking out a better life, a better place! Maybe I still blame her… But it’s not her fault. It’s really not.” Simon’s eyes began to water in a way they never have before.

“It’s all my fault. There’s no one to blame but me. The last conversation we had was a stupid fucking argument where I looked her in the eyes, the girl I loved, and told her to stop relying on me… She was looking to me for help, to get her out, to get us both somewhere safe…” He stopped and pressed his lips together to contain a sob. His eyes squeezed shut as tears rolled down his cheeks.

“I was going to marry her.” He confessed and groaned. “I came back from Aghanistan and bought a ring, because while I was out there, with bullets whizzing past me and watching my brothers in arms fall like flies, all I wanted was to do was go back to her… And I was completely expecting her to be there… To be waiting for me…” He trailed off. “After I broke her heart and told her to leave… I… I somehow expected her to have been weak… to have stayed. And she was strong enough to leave.” He nodded as he pondered on it.

“And the worst part is that I want to know what happened to her. I want…” He trailed off. “I know it’s been so long and she probably doesn’t think about me and even if she did, she wouldn’t want to ever step foot anywhere near her and it’s not like I want to see her, or to meet with her or to… I don’t know, pick up where we left off?” He ranted more and more. “I just… I want to know she’s okay, I want to know she’s alive. I pray every year that she didn’t turn to hard drugs and die of an overdose on a street corner somewhere… I…” He trailed off. “I need her to be alive and healthy and safe and… happy.”

Doctor Armstrong’s eyes softened as a lightbulb went off in her head. She had finally found the genesis to most of Simon’s issues. The grief of the past, the depression, the antisocial tendencies, his propenture for isolation, his fear of vulnerability, his trust issues, his inability to truly connect with others, the avoidant attachment style to any relationships he does attempt to have…

It was because he was attached to her, whoever this girl he spoke of was. He grieved her, he missed her, he couldn’t pursue a meaningful relationship when he had lost such a deep one… A relationship, an attachment, formed through trauma, unhealthy, sure, but one that resulted in a bond. Any attempts of his to ‘move on’ felt wrong and soured quickly. And until now she couldn’t figure out why that was… thinking he just kept unhealthily self-sabotaging… until now.

That morning was a first in many ways. Simon was speaking unprompted, Simon was voicing his emotions, Simon was confronting his past, Simon was admitting to his mistakes, Simon was expressing his wants. He was not just opening up, but he was actively prioritizing his wants, his feelings… It was huge for someone whose sense of self was as skewed as Simon’s.

It only took ten years… But they were making progress.

‘You just have to write her a letter, Simon. Let her know you don’t mean to impose on her life, but that you simple hope she’s doing well, thank her for having been part of your life. Keep it simple, concise. You can do that.’

Dr. Armstrong severely underestimated Simon’s ability to follow her request. Granted, most of the time he follows them no problem… But when it comes to you? Yikes.

‘Simple, concise’ became 38 and a half pages. None of it proofread. He felt like he passed out and when he woke up he had 38 pages of straight up gibberish, half-baked thoughts and equally half-baked pages. He doesn’t even remember what the fuck he wrote (probably because he was drunk and high, his first time smoking in 15 years).

Trying to read it gave him a headache, so he just transfered it into a Word document, the only file in an all-black slide-out USB drive, and stuffed the USB and a note saying ‘From Simon Riley’ into an envelope. He didn’t even dare send it himself. He simply dropped it off in the mail-out box at base and and called it a day.

That was 3 months ago.

As he lays in bed after dinner, he silently hopes to God that you’re ignoring him and tossed out the USB drive without even reading the mess of text in it… Or even that the address Laswell’s analysts found for you in Scotland was wrong.

But he also can’t bear to imagine someone else opening the envelope, checking the USB drive and finding that letter and-

A buzzing awakes him from his thoughts and he looks across the room to his phone which is charging on his desk in the corner. He moves across the room swiftly, finding a number he doesn’t recognize has sent him a text.

It has to be you. He’s careful with his number, he doesn’t give it out willy-nilly. Only Price, Laswell and Nik have it. And you, since he included it in the document.

Taking a deep breath, he clicks the text on the screen, his brown eyes screwing shut as if it was about to explode. Or maybe it was just his heart racing that made him feel that.

He was afraid.

Simon Riley was afraid.

The Ghost wouldn’t protect him now.

Not from you.

Or, rather, not for the way Simon might react when it comes to you.

Deep breaths, Simon told himself.

Deep breaths.

In…

… and out.

Throwing open his eyes, he looked at the screen, finding one tiny little paragraph in the bright green chat bubble:

hi riley… read your letter a bunch of times… truth be told i didnt know how to answer it, been trying to find what to say for weeks on weeks now and coming up short. if ur free anytime soon can we just have a call over the phone? might be easier. if not then im glad to hear ur fine and that u found success x

Simon reads and rereads your text over and over and over…

And then something in him snaps. He clicks the phone button next to your unsaved contact and then stares at the screen, eyes wide and frantic, not even considering that you might not be ready, that you might be busy, that you asked for ‘one of these days’ and not ‘right now’...

The call connects.

Simon holds his breath.

And so do you, he can hear your little gasp.

The counter at the top of the screen ticks by.

00:01

00:02

00:03

00:04

00:05

00:06

00:07

00:08

00:09

00:10

00:11

00:12

00:13

00:14

00:15

Simon’s eyes begin to well up with tears, he can hear your breath on the other side, but he’s too much of a coward to say anything.

00:16

00:17

00:18

00:19

00:20

00:21

00:22

00:23

Thank God that you’re not.

You’ve always been stronger than him.

“Riley?” You whisper his name.

Taking a deep breath, he opens his mouth to speak… But all that escapes him is a stupid little “Hm?”

You pause again, your breath catching in your throat again… before you say it:

“I forgive you.”

His world nearly collapses at that moment and a sob escapes him, a sound so pathetic and weak that he wants to beat himself over it before Dr. Armstrong’s words ring in his head:

‘You can’t keep suppressing your emotions, it’s okay to cry.’

And so he does. He sobs, audibly so, big fat tears running down his face as he lets his back hit the wall and slide down it until he’s sat on the floor.

“Riley…” You whimper, and it sounds like you’re on the verge of crying as well.

He doesn’t want to make you cry. He really doesn’t…

But he can’t stop…

For the first time in forever, he feels exactly the one thing Dr. Armstrong has told him he deserves to feel:

At peace.

-------------------------------------------------------

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TAGGING ANYONE WHO READ/COMMENTED THE FIC (there's only like... 10 of you total, I'm so sorry)

taglist: @iite-cool , @spicyspicyliving , @lyralein , @heavenlyrivers , @depressed-but-make-it-cute , @myhomeworksnotdone , @captainquake42 , @waiting-so-long , @erensonly , @pieckyghost

Thank you so much for reading this fic, to the people who've read it here and on AO3! Your support mean the world to me!

#ikea writes 💚#home cbf!simon fic #cod fanfic #tw psychological issues #psych diagnosis #time skip #ghost cod #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x you #childhood best friends to lovers #cbf #cbf!simon #teenage love #masterlist #catharsis

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