🌿 Trauma Based Identities 🌿
There are a number of causes for our non-human identities. The most common being spiritual, but also imprinting. So now, what is a trauma based identity? And how could it cause one to have a psychological theriotype?
A trauma based identity is basically an identity that was formed because of, or in relation to, trauma. Especially during childhood/adolescence. At a young age, we are still very much developing mentally and emotionally. Our minds are going through so many changes, and our environment has an incredibly big impact on that. Early life trauma is part of that environment, and therefore, can literally make changes to your beain chemistry and how it develops. So how does this have to do with therianthropy?
Well, if a child experiences trauma or abuse, their minds may unconsciously seek some kind of coping mechanism. And this coping mechanism CAN cause them to develop a non-human identity. Especially if they feel detached from other humans who are the source of said trauma. Often time, the animal they may imprint on will be in their environment. Perhaps a pet, or a wild animal they see on a regular basis. It can be an animal or being they've been exposed to through media, like; movies, tv shows, books, games, etc. It can also even be a toy they have of said animal. Regardless, the trauma can make such a development occur.
//Imprinting can also be in relation to the trauma based identity. As a child experiencing abuse and neglect may imprint on the animal around them, rather than the humans that cause them harm, or hurt them.//
Some may argue that "this isn't a theriotype, its a coping link!". But you are wrong. The definition of therianthropy, is to identify as an animal, or have an involuntary non-human identity. A copinglink is a CHOSEN identity you chose to CONSCIOUSLY cope. If the trauma based identity is NOT chosen, and develops without voluntarily chosing so, it IS a VALID therianthropic identity.
I think it's important for people to be aware that such identities exist and are incredibly valid. They can be tough, but it is part of our development.
🌿 My Trauma-based Identity 🌿
Ever since I was a baby I've gotten a lot of traumatic experiences. I was consistently abused and neglected. I won't go into detail, but it was really hard. And I deal heavily with the affects today.
I never felt loved, or safe. But we did have cats in our household all the time. And I learned love from them. The cats never hurt me, never scared me, never screamed at me. All they did was show me love. They made me feel seen. So, as a toddler, I imprinted heavily on them. I ate their food, bathed like them, crawled around like them, meowed, and even used the litter box on several occasions (i know it sounds extreme but as embarrassing as it is, i did..)
My parents regularly punished me for acting like a cat, but I never stopped. And I continued seeing them as my true family.
I imprinted on them and it became a permanent mental development that would follow me through all of my childhood, my adolescence and early adulthood.
Thinking of why this identity developed makes me sad. But it also makes me grateful, because i dont thing the young, autistic and traumatized lil child I was would have made it otherwise.
I go through periods of questioning and denial. Because this identity makes me feel a lot of repressed emotions. But maybe this time i can accept it again. Ill do it at my own pace though. ♡
Thats all! Hope this helps others with trauma based identities. Know that you are valid. And you are seen. If ever you need to talk about it, im here. My DMs are open. I may not be online all the time, but Ill respond.
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I love how Goosefeather is forced into the position of medicine + compassion where youre supposed to treat your clanmates as your literal children but the ONLY thing his teachers were really focused on was his abilities, he was barely taught any compassion or equality by Cloudberry ; proven when he gets excited about Sunkit's future.
Isn't really my full point though, he has little to no compassion for the cat's around him--hes so focused on the future to the point it messes up his morality and honestly its such a good concept when i think hard about it.
At his time, he was the closest thing to starclan, yet he was the least moral out of all the medicine cats, even Hawkheart is shown to have more compassion than him which is crazy asf.
I love him a lot though and i hope this doesnt make people hate him, because honestly he was thoughtful enough throughout most of his book, but by the end is when he seems to drop into submission and after that be completely dragged around a leash by starclan and takes it day by day.
I also wondered if his submission into the role of shaping the future really messed with his mind, he's had to make the choice of his family or the future, he keeps quiet about many things but chooses to be 'responsible' in his work.
He indirectly killed his own sister to begin the cycle.
He sacrificed his own relationship with his niece so she can follow a path similar to his, except towards leadership and ... more strings attached (<- more prophecies to come after)
hes so insensitive about it afterwards because his norm is Ghost seeing and constant grief, he doesn't even think about grief. When brought up he thinks of grief as sacrifice when serving his clan, examples being when he confronts Bluefur after the kits and probably even his sister's death.
he does the same with joy, no emotions come before the future, in his eyes hes probably serving his clan to the best of his abilities while also beginning to loose your shits, because that is something his mentors have focused on and made him so dependant on and i feel like he eventually realizes how wrong his morality is after Moonflower dies, is when he begins to wilt away and becomes the worst parts of himself.
i love u mr goosefeather why do you stink so baad
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19/11/23
weekend at my parent's house. had to do some studying along with socialising
packing for the (5h long) trip was kinda a mess. i forgot to pack my phone charger and then i realised that i should've taken my laptop instead of the tablet because i was supposed to make a presentation about software that i can't open on a tablet...
i managed to get the most important staff done so i'm happy about that.
eh, it's gonna be a busy couple of weeks
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