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mental-health-advice · 2 years

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I am so frustrated with myself. I feel like I don't know how to talk to people anymore. Last night I was rambling on about a topic to my friends & it didn't sound cohesive at all. I just can't think and organise my thoughts properly when talking face to face. And then when it's my friends turn to talk I feel like I can't keep up as she was also venting about a topic and telling me so much information all at once. I think she just wanted me to listen but I don't know if that is how I came across.

Hey there,

It’s completely OK to feel frustrated at times but it’s equally as important to not be hard on yourself about the frustration and keep it bottled up inside.

I think that a lot of people can relate to finding it difficult at times to follow what another person is saying and being able to take it all in. Sometimes I find it helpful to stop and ask questions, or ask for more information about things to help me better comprehend what is being said and to help me make more sense out of it if that makes sense? It also shows the other person that I am listening and that I generally care by turning the ‘vent’ into an actual conversation between two people if that makes sense at all. Perhaps this is something that you could give a go?

In regards to not feeling as though you are not being cohesive at all when talking face to face with another person, sometimes it can really help to prepare yourself beforehand. So for example pretend to talk to yourself about what you wish to say, try to stay on topic if you can (it’s OK if you don’t too, staying on topic is not always easy) and try to organise your thoughts in your head before you speak them out loud. I know again, this is so much easier said than done but with some practice it will get easier in time and you will eventually get to the point where doing this will just come naturally.

It’s completely OK to ramble on about something too, sometimes we all need to just talk and get everything out whether it makes any sense or not. I guess in a way it’s like writing down everything in your head that is going around and just writing what ever comes to mind - this is the exact same thing but instead you are actually verbalising out loud what is going on for you.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way.

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going OK!

Take care,

Lauren

#mha-lauren #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #anonymous #communicating #being cohesive #listening to others

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lonelier-version-of-you · 2 years

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Although, sort of carrying on from that last ask, because it reminded me, all the ‘disability and parenting’ themes on Casualty these last couple of years (Jade having grown up in foster care because she and her mother were deaf, David worrying about Ollie potentially inheriting his bipolar, Ethan being worried he can’t be a good dad because of his Huntington’s, and now Paula having her kids taken away because of her cerebral palsy) keep making me think back to Henrik.

Have I said before that even though Henrik is a very distinctly Holby sort of character, he also almost feels like he belongs on Casualty, in terms of the writing for him as a disabled character? Because this is one example of what I mean about that.

Like, when it comes to these storylines, I just keep thinking back to One Man And His God and how Henrik outright states that he doesn’t want to be in his son’s life because he’s 1. scared of being a bad father due to his mental illnesses and 2. passing said mental illnesses on.

He says it outright: “This summer, I went back home. I found out... I have a child on the way. A boy, she thinks. Me... a father! Broken, weak, cowardly Henrik... the one thing that I will not do is... pass that on to someone else, the way it was passed on to me. That boy... if I’m not there to... mess him up... really not there... then perhaps he has a chance.”

I don’t actually have anything to say about it really I just think it’s interesting. All these storylines running on Casualty, while Holby did the same theme already with Henrik. (...In an episode that happened the same year the explicitly autistic character became a father... make of that what you will.)

(I mean, there was definitely other stuff going on with Henrik’s fears of being a father too, he states outright in Hanssen/Hemingway that he was scared of ending up like his own dad for one thing. But still. We know fear of being a bad parent because he was disabled was part of it.)

#my meta #i guess #sort of #vaguely meta-adjacent thoughts that i can't properly verbalise anyway

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