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unofficialkfamtranscripts · 4 years

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King Falls AM - Episode 10: Medium Rare

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Summary: September 15, 2015 - Sammy & Ben welcome in studio guest, medium Miss Olivia DuPont, however a miscommunication of her talents brings up some painful memories that both Ben & Deputy Troy wish to forget.

[podcast intro music]

Sammy [agitated] I’m not gonna debate you ma’am, I’m just trying to say that gravity really isn’t something that’s up for discussion, sheesh.

Ben [amused] Don’t take it personally. Mrs. Bodenheimer told me in third grade that she didn’t believe in air.

Sammy …conditioning?

Ben Oh, no! Air. In general. She thought oxygen was a satanic fairy tale concocted by God-hating scientists.

Sammy [disbelieving] Yet she was in charge of educating you and hundreds of other youngsters.

Ben College diploma goes a long way in a little town, buddy.

Sammy Alright, well up next we’ve got a pretty interesting visitor coming in studio with us.

Ben Hopefully so!

Sammy O— you don’t know her?

Ben I do not, but she sent us a ton of emails during the electrolocaust and said she was a big fan.

Sammy All of them say she has a special talent she’d like to share with us and the listeners

Ben Absolutely, and she’ll be coming up after a word from our sponsors.

[dramatic eerie music]

Announcer On the season premier of the nation’s number one paranormal investigation show: Mission Apparition. [theatrical crash] Dan and the team find themselves in a sticky situation. [static]

Dan [echoing] They had to shut this place down after all the accidents. This is Tanner’s Taffy factory and it’s been abandoned since 1991. [static]

Announcer …or has it?

Dan There’s, uh— God there’s a lot of EVP activity around [walkie talkie sound] Larry, Larry I’d think you better go.

[theatrical crash]

Dan [walkie click] [hushed] Larry? Larry! [walkie click] Larry go!

Larry [creepy, ascending, violin-screech sound effects] [through walkie] I see the lights, man, I see it

Dan Larry move your ass!

Announcer It’s another can’t-miss episode from the show that doesn’t miss a thing when it comes to the extraordinary: Mission Apparition

[News music]

NEWS ANCHOR Season premier, tonight at 9pm on King Falls Channel 13.

[KFAM theme]

Ben That is- ridiculous.

Sammy We’re live, Ben.

Ben I know! It doesn’t change the fact that “Mission Apparition” sucks as much as the channel that shows it.

Sammy It sounded pretty interesting to me.

Ben Dan and Larry from that show? wouldn’t know what to do in a haunted situation to save their lives. Stupid meters and light particles, [“stupid voice” imitation] “oh hey I know! let’s shoot some night vision so everything looks pretty scary and suspect!” Idiots.

Sammy You don’t have to get hot about it.

Ben Oh, I’m just fine, Sammy. I’m simply saying, Mission Apparition is a dumb show Made by dummies For dummies.

Sammy Ladies and gentlemen, please be sure to direct all your hateful tweets to @kingfallsam and we’ll make sure Ben answers each and every one.

Ben Get at me twitter! #bringit

Sammy *laughs* On a different note, we have a guest in studio with us tonight. She is a self-professed medium—

Olivia [slight South African accent] Miss Olivia DuPont. Heh, see I knew it was coming.

Sammy [laughing] You’re good Miss DuPont. So Ben tells me you emailed us in hopes of coming on the show?

Olivia I was very eager to come visit my favourite late-night AM talk show and maybe help some people with some closure along the way.

Ben Thanks Miss DuPont, we are happy to have you.

Olivia Oh, please call me Golden Owl. *Who-whoo who-whoo!*

Sammy Ummm…

Olivia *Laughs* What a hoot and riot, you should have seen your face Sammy. Please, call me Olivia.

Ben Ha. S- soo… um, you aren’t from King Falls, is that correct?

Olivia That is, I live a few towns over. Up in Big Pine. That’s where my shop is as well.

Ben I love Big Pine! I- I used to go camping there as a kid! It’s beautiful and so laid-back.

Sammy Laid-back? I didn’t know it got slower then King Falls!

Ben You’ll have to excuse Shotgun Sammy here, he’s a Big City guy.

Sammy Anyway, so how did you find out that you had this talent, Olivia? That you were a medium.

Olivia Oh, from a very young age. My parents were veterinarians and we lived in an apartment above their office, so I used to hear- so many lost souls. Day in and day out.

Ben Lost souls? Wh-why were these people hanging out at the vets?

Olivia [confused] People?

Sammy I’m sorry, Olivia. Maybe we’ve got our wires crossed here. We were under the impression that you were a psychic.

Olivia [firmly] Medium. Psychics are low life charlatans.

Sammy I’m sorry, a medium.

Olivia A medium is someone whose 6th sense is so in tune, so aware, that a bridge is made to the other side, in which we can communicate with our loved ones.

Ben Uh, but- but again why were the souls of people hanging out at your parents’ vet office?

Olivia *scoffs* What does this have to do with people, Ben?

Sammy Okay, this bridge that you’ve-you’ve built to the other side. Is it not for people?

Olivia [laughing] Heaven’s no!

Ben I’m lost.

Olivia Well I’m- one of a kind, I get human interference from- time to time, you know [long-suffering] a mother looking to reconnect with her kids, a brother that died in the war. Ugh. I ignore that. This is about our deceased loved ones. The furry kind, or feathered! or what-have-you.

Ben Wait. You talk to dead pets?

Olivia Harsh, but not incorrect Ben.

Ben [growing slightly frantic]Oh, no, see I-I-I booked you so we could talk about your gift and take some calls from the listeners, but—

Olivia We can take calls Ben.

Sammy So, to be clear, you have contact with human spirits and you just toss them to the wayside to talk to Fido.

Olivia *laughs* Anyone can talk to deceased humans, Sammy, especially here in King Falls. This place is beaming with activity- even the two of you could do it if you tried. But nobody talks to our long-lost pets.

Ben I’m sorry, this isn’t what we were looking for Miss DuPont.

Olivia Golden Owl. Hoh, excuse me boys *loud sigh* this one is coming on strong! MMMOOooo MMMrrrr… Moo. *loud sigh* Sorry boys,[solemnly] that was- that was a rough one. Cassie the Cow was crying out. She lived in one of those factory farms and she- *deep breath* was using me to tell the world about her last days in the Cowschwitz[sic].

Sammy Okay folks, we’re sorry. Just give us a minute or two so we can uh… So we can get this—

Olivia I seeee… a dog? forgive me- AAAOOOoo AWAWWOOooo ARAwwo *growls*

Ben [Irritated] Okay, I think we’ve heard enough.

Olivia Wolfington?

Ben This is insane.

Sammy [seriously] Wait. What color is the dog?

Olivia Black— oh a little-bit of brown. He looks like— a lap dog perhaps? Uhh…

Sammy A terrier!

Olivia Oh, of course, I can see it nowww. He’s just wagging his tail, so happy, chasing his ball- Oh! Ooh, he’s mounting your Teddy Ruxpin bear[1].

Sammy That’s him! Oh my gosh!

Ben [incredulous] Wolfington the terrier? Come oonnn.

Sammy That’s my dog, Ben! He ran away when I was in grade school.

Olivia Woof! RUFF! Ruff-ruff-rUFF! Oh. He wants you to know that he’s fine Sammy, Wolfington had a good life. He isn’t mad that you only ever shared your veggies at the dinner table.

Sammy [entreating] Heh, it’s all I could do little buddy! my mom was always watchin’!

Ben Sammy?

Sammy Uh, *clears throat* I mean, y-you know that’s- that’s good, that’s real good Olivia. Uh, thank you.

Ben What is going on here?! Snap out if it, Sammy, this is obviously a con. Facebook info- or something.

Olivia I seee— [whispered] what is it? Is it a bird?

Ben [mocking]Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

Olivia Is it a tiny… monkey? No— no no, dig deeper. Marsupial!

Ben You aren’t buying this, right?

Olivia I feeel a- a naame… Serendipity?

Ben [shocked] What the Hell?

Sammy Ben, you alright over there?

Ben I’m- fine. Um. Go on, Golden Owl?

Olivia Is it a… sugar glider!

Ben It is! Serendipity the sugar glider! Oh man.

Sammy You can’t be serious, Ben. Your parents bought you an exotic animal and the best name you can come up with is “Serendipity”?

Ben [defensive] It came already named, man, and No, for the record? we found it. There was a travelling zoo that came through the Falls. And the day after, my friends and I found a box, down at the fairgrounds, and inside? there was little Serendipity, looking back up at us.

Olivia He said he’s sorry that he couldn’t stay. He wishes he did, that mean man with the badge- well, [softly] and you know how that goes.

Sammy Uh, how what goes? What happened?

Ben [upset] I don’t want to talk about it.

Olivia He forgives you Ben.

Ben [forcefully] Golden Owl I said I’m done! Let’s Take some callers.

Sammy Ben, I’m sorry, but this seems like—

Ben [distressed] Why don’t you pry your fingers- into the open wound- of my heart, and dig it all out, Sammy? Sweet Jack in the Box Jesus.

Sammy … You’re right, I-I’m sorry Ben. Well, King Falls you’ve heard Serendipity’s story, now let’s hear yours. 424-279-3858. We are live with pet medium, Olivia DuPont a—

Ben Did he live a good life? Olivia? W-was he happy, like Sammy’s puppy?

Olivia Do you not know?

Ben Know what?

Sammy I’m so confused here.

Olivia Serendipity was a bit of an outlaw. Sugar Gliders are illegal to posses in the tri-state region because of the ’72 Sugar Flu outbreak.

Sammy Seriously, okay guys, I just pulled up Sugar Gliders on the googs, adorable!

Ben They were still illegal. My mom tried calling the travelling zoo but to no avail. And it wasn’t like I didn’t want to keep Serendipity, I loved the little guy but, one of my backstabbing “friends” from school said something to Bodenheimer … I-I don’t want to talk about this.

Sammy They took him away?

Ben Mrs. Bodenheimer did. She took him to the office, and I never saw him again. She said she was going to make sure he got back to the zoo, di-di-did he, Golden Owl?

Olivia MMEEEEOOOOOWWW MEOOOWWW *hisses* Sorry, a calico is summoning me.

Ben Cut the crap! What’s this about the man with the badge?

Olivia [nervously] O- of course I’ve just heard this second-hand. Ben— I mean who’s to say exactly- what happened? It- you know, it’s from a different perspective then we can understand.

Ben What happened?

Olivia Serendipity- bit the man with the badge on the drive and- was tossed out the window. Into the river. Then- eventually down the falls. *chitters and hisses*

Ben That son of a bitch, w-wha-who’s name was on that badge?

Olivia It’s murky. Hard to grasp. Serendipity is jumping from nether tree to nether tree- Oh! Oh! I think I have it. [straining] G. U. N. Oh, I can’t see- D?

Ben [angrily] I knnnew it.

Olivia Take it with a grain of salt Ben- I mean, it’s just one version, from [laughingly] a marsupial no less.

Ben He was an awesome. possum. I-I gotta step outside for a minute [chair squeak].

Sammy While Ben takes a little break, let’s take a few callers.[door closing] Give us a call King Falls. Let’s talk about your dearly departed, uh, pets.

Olivia I’m ready.

Sammy Line 4, you’re live with Sammy and Miss Olivia DuPont.

Troy Gosh darn it, Sammy, I’m really sorry to hear about Ben’s little buddy.

Sammy I’m sure he’ll appreciate the kind words Troy, I’ll be sure to pass them on buddy .

[police radio can be heard faintly in bg]

Troy [solemn] I’ve got a confession to make that I ain’t proud of. I… I was the reason for the demise of little Serendipity. Such a sweet little fella. I just didn’t know he get taken away, y’know? For good.

Sammy Wait. You’re the reason Serendipity was taken away?

Troy Ah hells bells Sammy, I was the one that rolled over on Ben but— I didn’t mean for the little furry guy to get taken away! It was just a real kerfuffle on this end.

Sammy This explains so much.

Troy Me and Ben was best buddies coming up, Sammy. I didn’t want to tell on him, but little Serendipity got frisky one day at lunch and sh[bleep] on one of the teacher’s Mexican pizza. Tough ol’ Bodenheimer cornered me ‘cause she thought he was mine. Ben ain’t never gonna forgive me and that’s deserved.

[door closing]

Sammy That’s all in the past Troy. I’m sure- someday –

Ben Sorry about that guys. Some-someday what?

Sammy Oh, uh- y-you know- we-we’re just taking calls from listeners right now Ben. On the line we’ve got- Troy.

Troy [mournful] Hey Ben. Man I was listening to the program tonight, when I heard Miss DuPont pontificatin’ about the dead animals and su—

Ben [Hastily] Now’s not the time Troy, especially from you!

Troy I’m hurtin’ something awful about Serendipity, buddy. How many times do I have to apologize to make it right?

Ben Loose Lips Sink Ships, Troy, the ship of friendship. Have fun on the SS Backstabber. [click, dial tone] Line 1, you’re live on King Falls AM. Prepare your tissues.

Ron Boys, I won’t keep you long. This question is for, Golden Owl? is that right?

Olivia Yes.

Ron Before my question ma’am, you might want to work on that name. It might just be me, but it sounds like a sophisticated lemon party for birds.Not that I’m against that sort of thing. Sh[bleep] even last night—

Sammy Ron Begley, ladies and gents.

Ron Alright I get it, enough foreplay. Brass tacks Miss Owl, how does it work if you didn’t particularly own the pet, but you saw it as a kid, grew up near it, fed it, maybe had a puff the magic dragon relationship with it.

Ben He wants to know if you can tap into your unending source of pain and find Kingsie’s parents. Maybe tell us how they were, harpooned by Japanese tourists in front of Kingsie as a baby and made into sashimi.

Olivia Mr. Begley I’m not sure if that’s really in my wheelhouse, but perhaps if you introduce me to this Kingsie you’re referencing?

Ron Well hell yeah! How can I get a hold of you to make an appointment?

Sammy All of Miss DuPont’s information is on our website Ron, or you can check it out on twitter at—

Ron Yeah yeah, @, ampersand, hashtag, underscore, exclamation mark dot dot dot King Falls dot net. Shut your sweet little trap Sammy! I got it! I’ll be in touch soon Golden Owl. [mildly exasperated] But seriously, work on that name

[click, dial tone]

Ben Other than, re-breaking everyone’s hearts, Olivia— what do you get out of this?

Olivia I’m sorry for the troublesome story, Ben. Not all of them -hardly any of them- end so badly.

Ben So I’m just the lucky one.

Sammy Ben—

Ben I’m so glad to hear that not everyone’s pet got thrown out of a moving car and into Peace river and down the falls by Sheriff damn Gunderson. That’s the silver lining, right?

Olivia If it’s true.

Ben [skeptical] You get a lot of lying cats and dogs in your line of work, Olivia?

Olivia [awkwardly] Not— to my knowledge.

Ben He did it.

Sammy Okay, let’s not go making accusations it could have been any number of deputies, maybe even from a different county, I mean who can say?

Ben [insistent] It was Gunderson, I just know it. He literally damn near spelled it out! Ask him to spell out the rest, Olivia.

Olivia He saysss, *sigh* Golden Owl, your business license is up for renewal, so don’t rock the boat?

Ben BULL!

Sammy *clears throat* Olivia, we’re gonna take another phone call here in a minute. Perhaps, uh, before that you could give us a light-hearted example of a run in with someone’s, uh, expired creature.

Olivia Well, there was this one encounter with Bruce the Stingray.

Sammy [incredulously] A stingray. Now, what’s a dead stingray got to talk about?

Olivia Well, Steve Irwin[2] for one.

[KFAM outro]

[Credits]

REFERENCES:

[1] Teddy Ruxpin - Teddy Ruxpin is an animatronic children's toy in the form of a talking 'Illiop', a creature which looks like a bear. The creature's mouth and eyes move while "reading" stories played on an audio tape cassette deck built into its back.

[2] Steve Irwin - “The Crocodile Hunter” was an Australian zookeeper, television personality, wildlife expert, environmentalist and conservationist. Possibly best known for the show “The Crocodile Hunter” (1996–2007), an internationally broadcast wildlife documentary series, which he co-hosted with his wife Terri. They also co-owned and operated Australia Zoo, about 80 kilometres (50 mi) north of the Queensland state capital city of Brisbane. Steve died on September 4, 2006, after being pierced in the chest by a stingray barb while filming in Australia's Great Barrier Reef.

#king falls am #king falls #kfam #sammy stevens #ben arnold #kfam transcripts #kfam ep10 #olivia dupont #Ron Begley #troy krieghauser #mission apparition

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surveys-at-your-service · 7 years

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Survey #102

been awhile, huh?

will you cry at your wedding? i can pretty much guarantee i will.are you named after one of your parents or grandparents? no, but most of the girls in my family have the same middle name.do you feel that your previous relationships were a waste of time? one was. have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed? no. what’s your ring tone? "telescope" by starset. who gets up the earliest in your household? the latest? me or mom. i think nicole gets up last, but then again, her room's on the other end of the house, so. i don't really see her. have you ever fed bread to ducks or geese? yes, before i knew you shouldn't. have you ever lived in an apartment or duplex home? i briefly lived in an apartment with my ex. do you take offense to things easily? depends on the subject. more than anything, the misuse of the term "retarded" offends me. in a car: air conditioning, or roll the windows down? air conditioning. i absolutely despise my hair flying in my face. what’s your computer's background at the moment? on the laptop i currently have to use, it's ashley and aubree (this was ash's laptop). on my personal one that currently isn't working, it's a beautiful picture of trico and the boy from "the last guardian." do you look more like your mom or dad? i've heard both. i think i look more like mom. what’s the last video you watched on youtube? i'm watching the game grumps play the remake of the first "resident evil." are you a fan of lady gaga? i like like... two of her songs. i personally find "bad romance" to be catchy as fuck. sleep position? i usually sleep on my side with my top leg bent up into an angle. what would you name your future daughter? i don't want kids, but if i had one, her name would be alessandra, nicknamed "alessa." if i had another, she'd probably be chloe. what’s something you have a very strong opinion about? abortion. name an interesting fact about yourself. uhhh. i don't know if i still can, but i could ride my bike without handlebars when i used to do it all the time. who is the first person in your contacts? ashley, my sister. do you believe in destiny? no. do animal furs upset you? i don't support using them in most societies, no, because it seems incredibly unnecessary. we have other materials. in certain areas though, like eskimos in alaska, i don't mind it because hey, they have to keep warm. who picks the music when you're riding in the car? if it's me and mom and i'm in the passenger seat, i use my ipod to play music from the car. how do you feel about diet dr. pepper? diet sodas give me a headache, and dr. pepper gives me heartburn. have you actually been through a devastating natural disaster before? hurricane floyd was pretty devastating. are you really into vintage things? have you ever been into that stuff? YEP. if going to a concert, do you prefer it to be outside or in a stadium? inside. don't have to worry about the weather. has anyone you know gotten mono? ashley had mono in middle school. do you look at the keyboard when you type? no. have you ever kissed someone anywhere other than on the face/head? yes. do you like your teeth? i wish they were whiter and that i didn't have a retainer on my bottom row, but eh. how many siblings does your significant other have? he also has a sister named ashley. what was the first online account you remember having? neopets. what’s your father’s handwriting like? messy and everything is capitalized. have you ever been a bridesmaid? yes. name one of your ex’s mother’s names? virginia. if you could move out of your home country permanently, would you? if so, where would you go? i wouldn't, but if i had to, i'd move to germany. have you ever been to craigslist.com? yeah. it's pretty common in the south. my best friend got her cat from there. on "grand theft auto," do you just kill people or actually do the missions? i've never played. i used to watch my neighbor hunter play when we were young, though. then jason and jacob played some of one at the old apartment, and i was impressed that it actually had story. do you own anything “lucky”? no. what is your dad’s occupation? he's been a mailman for a very long time. do you believe that weed should be legalized? it is legal in a lot of places so, old survey, but no, i don't support its legalization. do you like apple jacks? yes. what is one thing that you absolutely despise about your personality? i can be very paranoid. what's the worst nightmare you've ever had? something involving my dad. what's been the most traumatic experience of your life and does it still bother you? jason breaking up with me, and it can, if i'm exposed to certain triggers. do you think french kissing is gross? i mean, technically yeah. imagine the germs. but i don't hold actual issue with it. do you have any petnames for the person you love? i don't love him, i like him, but no. if you were cremated, where would you want your ashes to be placed? i want to be used as part of a fertilizer for a tree. do you own any animals that absolutely hate you? no. bentley acts like he's scared of me, but he's scared of like... everything. but he doesn't hate me. how and when did you discover your favorite show at the moment? "that '70s show" i discovered from my mother years ago, and "fullmetal alchemist" i first saw with my ex in 2012 or 2013, idk. what type of art could you always appreciate but never see yourself actually doing? surreal stuff. your hair can be any color you want, but it's permanently there. what color do you choose? uhhh... galaxy hair? i wanna do that next, and i find it to be beautiful. who named your pets? ashley named teddy, nicole named cali and bentley, and i named venus. is there a particular reason for their names? ashley thought of "teddy" because she thought he was cute as one. i have no fucking clue where "cali" came from since it's derived from "calico," and she's a boxer. "bentley" has no real story. i named my snake "venus" because their color is similar, and i also found the name majestic. does anyone have anything of yours? jason might. do you ever wonder what your ex is up to? nope. who introduced you to your current significant other? if you’re single, who introduced you to your last ex? i don't know who did, actually. we were introduced because we were kinda in the same friend group. do you think struggles make you stronger? depends on your attitude. how old were you when you started puberty? i don't know. i'm bad with time stamps. how did it make you feel? i was upset, i remember. i cried when i got my first period. i felt like i wasn't a kid anymore. what is your boyfriend/girlfriend/crush/husband listed under in your phone? just "girt" what are you listening to? "champagne supernova" by oasis have you ever liked someone way older than you? no. have you ever had a ufo sighting or a sighting of strange lights in the sky? i don't believe in ufos in the alien sense, but i've seen a strange light. i noticed a star getting bigger every night (i used to walk outside with my ipod every night), and one night, it looked like it was shaking a bit. it was also kinda green. then it seemed to explode, getting pretty bright and bigger and just fizzling out of the sky. it was SUPER cool. i looked up supernovas from earth, but nothing looked exactly like that thing did. have you ever had bronchitis? no, though i totally should've when jason had it. despite him telling me not to, i kissed him a number of times anyway in hopes of helping him cheer up. he was miserable. i have an immune system of steel, but that was still stupid. does anyone in your family go deer or bird hunting? who is it anyway? no. nicole used to go deer hunting with her friend hailee, but they don't really talk anymore to my knowledge. are you someone who is afraid of clowns? what makes you fear them? no. have you ever done time? no. would you ever date anyone that has? nope. have you ever dismissed something and claimed you disliked it before actually trying it? can you give an example of something you dislike but haven’t tried, and why? sushi. i absolutely refuse to try it. i don't like fish, nor do i like seaweed, so. can you name a song from a genre you usually dislike? how come you like this song? "when the stars go blue" by tim mcgraw. i just find it beautiful. have you ever been to one of the great lakes? i think i might've when i was very, very young and went to michigan. do you know anyone who has had a heart attack? my late grandpa had over 10 very minor heart attacks, i think, according to a doctor. i can't remember the exact number (s)he said. if you got pregnant young, would you get married to the guy who got you pregnant, or for guys, if you got a girl pregnant at a young age, would you marry her? no. that's a poor reason to get married. if you were dating someone seriously for a long time and were considering marriage, would them not wanting kids or vice versa be a deal-breaker? i don't want kids, so him wanting kids would obviously be an issue. could you date someone with no job, no car and no goals? i don't care about a car. i could date someone on disability if they actually needed it, but i couldn't date someone who simply doesn't want a job. i also probably couldn't date anyone who had NO goals. how old is the last person you kissed? he's 23-24, not sure... where was your mom born? flushing, queens, new york. pretty sure. have you ever seen your siblings naked? i know i have with nicole because we took baths together as little kids, then after she takes a shower now, she'll sometimes come into the living room naked to grab clothes without a towel sometimes?? dunno why. she has literally no shame though and it's amazing lol. do you take vitamins? if so, what kinds? no. what’s your favorite flavor of sun chips? i loathe sun chips. favorite kind of m&ms? normal ones. are you afraid of roller coasters? yes. i'm afraid of puking. do/did you enjoy it when your school would have pep rallies? no, i loathed them. i never even went if they occurred in a period where i was close to the teacher because they gave me anxiety. do you see more of your mom or dad’s side of the family more? mom's. i haven't seen anyone on dad's side since i was little. do you say bless you when someone sneezes? even if you don’t know who it is? yes, and sometimes. if the opportunity arose, would you ever go to a nude beach? do you think you’d be comfortable enough, being naked among others like that? no. even if i was in good shape, i wouldn't be comfortable. have you ever seen an animal give birth? have you ever had a pet give birth before? i've seen some of our old cats give birth various times. would you date someone who still lived with their parents? yes. would you watch a porno with your partner? no. would you be okay with your partner hanging with their ex as friends? this is probably bitchy to say, but i'm not sure i'd be okay with that. would you tie up a partner if they asked you to do so? i don't know. what is one unique thing you’re afraid of? whale sharks. no animal needs a mouth that big. D: do you know anyone in the military? what is your relationship to them? yeah, leon. acquaintance from high school. what will your next tattoo be of? probably "hakuna matata" with the anxiety ribbon beside it. will probably be on my other collarbone. have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache? he shaved, but sometimes he'd have a mild one. what’s your favorite type of milk? chocolate, if you include that, but if not, like 2% what are three girls’ names that you really like? alessandra, chloe, evelyn. what are three boys’ names that you really like? vincent, luther, victor. what is the most beautiful scenery you have ever beheld? mountains<3 do you pray? rarely. what’s your favorite type of tree? weeping willows. does your pet wear a collar? yes. thinking of the person in your family you have the worst relationship with, what makes it so difficult? my grandma. she's very closed-minded, old-fashioned, and rather high-class. have you ever outwardly wished someone the best but inwardly wished that they would be unhappy? shamefully, yes. would you have an abortion if you would otherwise die in childbirth? with my newfound adjustment to my stance on abortion, i really don't know. if i am being 110% honest, i think if i was presented with this issue... ugh, i don't know. probably, if it was guaranteed i'd die. i just don't think it's fair that someone should have to die for someone. do you enjoy competition shows? sometimes. what kind of side dish do you prefer to eat your chicken with? fries. do you have a pinterest account? yes. have you ever seen the television show "the munsters"? MOM AND I USED TO WATCH IT ALL THE TIME OMGGGG what is the saddest movie that you’ve ever seen? uhhh, not sure. what’s your favorite type of seafood? (i.e. shrimp, lobster, etc.) i only ever enjoy shrimp prepared in certain ways. tell me five facts about your father. 1.) he's a mailman; 2.) he's from ohio; 3.) his name's kenneth, but everyone calls him ken; 4.) he's married to an awesome woman named kim; 5.) he loves fishing. where do your grandparents live? michigan, and my grandma technically lives in florida, but stays with her son's family in new york a lot. what's your favorite big cat? by the traditional definition, tigers, but i looked it up to be sure of what was included and apparently more than i thought were involved. with the expanded list, snow leopards. do you like classic rock or modern rock better? classic. does your boyfriend/girlfriend/crush smoke pot? to my knowledge, he's never smoked anything. what is something that you hate to do every day? take my heartburn med, because it tastes awful. what does your mom call you? "brittany" or "britt" if you could have one language, one habit, and one skill “downloaded” straight into your brain, what would they be? german, exercising, and cooking. do you pay rent to your parents? no, considering i don't get paid to begin with. who is the most stubborn person you know {excluding yourself}? colleen. is working with animals something you enjoy? how about working with people? what would be your ideal work environment? i love being with animals, but i've proven i can't work with people. and then there's the fact with most jobs where you work with animals, other humans are involved. so i guess my ideal work environment would be something completely solo. when was the last time you deeply disagreed with someone's opinion on something? did you say anything about it? so there's a survey taker on livejournal (where i get a lot of the surveys i take) and she is literally the bitchiest, most stuck-up, rudest person i have ever come across. there have been multiple occasions where i have seriously considered making an account there just to tell her to grow the fuck up, but no, i've never said anything. who was the last person you slow danced with, and to what song? jason, "stairway to heaven" by led zeppelin how do you decide which surveys to take? i don't do bolding surveys, nor do i pick ones with really fucking stupid questions. name a very rare item that you would love to own. i would fucking ADORE to have one of the "shadow of the colossus" figurines that came out for a short time in japan. that would be a dream come true. are you good at memorizing phone numbers? no. literally the only number i have memorized is my mom's. do you like men/women who have a sensitive side? yes. do you think it’s possible to be in a long relationship without having sex? i was in a relationship for almost four years without it, so. what’s the song that reminds you of your special someone? idk. talk about how you feel about each of your exes. i'm going to include everyone who ever had the title of "boyfriend," so let's start from the top. i have no ill feelings towards aaron whatsoever. it was puppy love, and he was an amazing friend. i truly hope he finds all the happiness in the world. juan? jesus christ. he's going to end up in prison one day; he needs to get his shit together. i hold no feelings towards him and he annoys me more than anything. as for jason, he made me extremely happy once upon a time and i'll never forget him, but he became a very ugly person and i no longer hold any remnants of feeling for him. tyler, i never did hold proper feelings towards him and still don't and wish those few weeks never even happened. he needs to learn he's never going to find happiness romance-wise if he continues to be so obsessive. how would you react if you had a particularly unusual pain or ache? i get nervous and ask my mom about it. is there anything that people always tell you that you should do? (ex - “you should be an artist!”) yes, to be an artist. what was the best year of your life? it might actually be this one! just because of how far i've come. what is something that many people seem to have in life that you don’t? does it bother you or does it not really affect you? at my age? a considerable level of independence. i don't drive, i don't have a job, i don't understand and can't do many things people of my age should be able to do. yes, it bothers me, and it bothers me a lot. is there anything that has been drilled into your brain since you were young & you finally decided to stop listening to? how did it feel once you decided to listen to yourself over what you were told? the first thing that comes to mind is that me being told via my religion that homosexuality is wrong. i went about 19 or 20 years believing it was, though please note, i never hated or even disliked those in the lgbt community. then i was listening to a rhett & link podcast where they were talking to hannah hart, and she went into her history of coming out as gay, and despite having no real connection to her, i felt her story. it just made me start questioning myself more heavily, which i had done about a billion times before. i finally decided that i just couldn't see how it was "wrong;" jesus himself supposedly claimed that some people were born as such (he used a word with multiple definitions, but the most common one referred to gay individuals), but honestly, even if that wasn't biblical, i would've stilled changed my mind about my stance. i fail to believe there is anything wrong with two individuals sincerely loving each other just because science says they can't reproduce. the ability to love comes from the heart, not the chromosomes you're given. okay i'm rambling. anyway, i felt honestly massively relieved when i realized my true opinion. if you are currently in a relationship, what is one thing that seems to be unique or different about your relationship with this person, compared to other relationships in general? if you are currently single, is this more of a choice or is it more just the way things are going, not really something you chose? if you are neither “single” or officially in a relationship, what are your feelings on your current situation? i think a unique thing about the two of us is how long we were friends first. most relationships begin at the early friend stage, but we waited seven years. we went into this with a far deeper understanding of each other. do you feel that it is acceptable to hang out with the preferred sex alone when in a relationship (besides with your significant other, of course)? is this something that does or might cause problems in a relationship for you? no, i don't have an issue with it. girt and i did this occasionally while i was with jason, and nothing ever came of it while we were together. when you feel jealousy, how do you deal with it? just that: deal with it. let it roll over. do you like the feeling of relying on or being emotionally attached to somebody or do you try to avoid that feeling? this doesn’t just mean in relationships, but being close with people in general. after jason, i avoid that shit like the plague. the one thing you want people to remember about you? that i never gave up. a habit you want to break? immediately assuming the worst. the most encouraging thing someone’s said to/done for you? we don't talk anymore, but for some reason, that one time chelsea told me how beautiful i was and that i deserved everything in the world stuck with me. just the way she said it is something i won't forget. how do you pursue a love interest? are you active or passive about it? i'm passive as fuck. i don't make the moves. you (and your friends or s/o) are free tonight! where do you go? and/or the best party/event you’ve ever been to? this actually makes me think back over a year ago when girt, colleen, bradley, and i went out to eat together and colleen and i got our matching tattoos. that was a blast. 10/10 would do again. and knowing us, if we were all free and wanted to get together one day, we'd probably just chill at colleen's house. worst thing you’ve done to avoid someone on social media, or just in general? probably just pretend to be offline. i haven't gone to extreme measures. worst memory you’ve ever had? and/or worst thing you’ve ever done to someone? my worst memory is the night jason left. i can essentially give you a play-by-play of it. i don't know the worst thing i've ever done to someone. a song that never fails to lift up your feelings? mainly due to memories, "closer" by the chainsmokers makes me smile. colleen and i will never NOT sing it lol. just a lot of memories of riding with her and chels and singing. and i don't sing a lot. how do you fall in love? do you fall fast and hard for someone or does it take time for you to fall in love? with jason, i fell pretty fast. with my current boyfriend, i'm taking it slow as hell. what’s the hardest thing you’ve had to give up? i actually used to say jason, but the previous answer to this survey changed my mind to "my mental health." my mental health went downhill at a young age, and it ultimately caused far more turmoil than jason alone. who do you look up to? name those (living, dead, fictional, real, etc.) who have inspired you in life. a lot of people have inspired me. but the person who inspires me most is mark fischbach. he came from nothing and became youtube's "most influential" gamer for a reason. his outlook on life is something i really respect and he's just overall the kind of good person i hope i can be, and i could only wish to be that ambitious. steve irwin is also one of my biggest inspirations; his love for animals was unparalleled, and i will always appreciate him for teaching me so much about them. he died doing what he adored. i also look up to link neal & rhett mclaughlin (grouping them together 'cuz let's be real they're essentially the same person tbh); they are so endlessly creative and unique and quirky. i also find it inspiring that they, too, came from north carolina of all boring-ass places, yet they made it big. ugh i look up to so many more that i'm blanking atm. what is something (show, book, song, person, etc.) that you are currently unhealthily obsessed with? i will forever be obsessed with mark, rhett, link, meerkats, and "silent hill" @_@ which overrated tattoo are you sick of seeing? personally, i believe if you want a tattoo that means something to you, get it. but nevertheless, i'm still sick of seeing dreamcatchers and infinity symbols. do you know anybody whose initials spell something? ashley's used to spell "and" before she got married. how many entryways are there into your living room? three: front door, from my room, from the kitchen. have you been hit on by someone that was already in a relationship? yes. are you indecisive? unbelievably. has a guy ever admitted that you hurt him? jason's teared up before when arguing, so in a way i assume i did. when was the last time you ate at burger king? it's been years. i don't really like it. if you have pets, have they ever needed surgery? no. under what circumstances would you donate a kidney? if my mom needed one and no one else was willing. she only has one, so losing the one she has now would be a big issue, to put it lightly. is it possible to love someone if you don't love yourself? i hate this fucking question. obviously. i hated myself when i was with jason, yet i adored him. if you have facebook, are you guilty of fanning countless things? you have no idea how much shit i used to "fan." whom are you subscribed to on youtube, and when did you subscribe? there's a number of people i'm subscribed to and actually watch, so, i'll go through the list. markiplier: i would annoy literally everyone if i went into every detail as to why i watch him and make a 10-paragraph explanation so i'm just going to answer this with "everything" lol. i subscribed in either 2012 or 2013, i forget. good mythical morning & rhett and link: they host a very entertaining and sometimes educational show that never fails to surprise. they're wonderful people and deserve all the support in the world. i watch their music channel because their songs tend to be quirky and also catchy as fuck and i also just want to support my north carolina babes. subscribed in early 2016. pewdiepie: he's unlike anyone else on the planet and has always been very funny to me, albeit sometimes immature. he's evolved wonderfully to having a sense of humor i really enjoy. i subscribed in 2012 or 2013 again, though i remember it was before mark. 8bitryan/8bitgaming: i really enjoy ryan's silliness and his editing style appeals to me. he's a total goof that i find enjoyable to watch. i enjoy bazamalam on 8bitgaming too, but tbh i mainly watch it for ryan lol. i subscribed to ryan first early this year, and then 8bitgaming a little while later. timmy timato: he's like the happiest person ever and is very entertaining. despite having no interest in cooking, i find his diys very unique, and i'm always curious to see what he makes. really disliked when he started adding inconceivably childish songs in his timeskips, though. but regardless, i find him extremely funny. subscribed last year thanks to my friend alex. game grumps: danny and arin are the funniest people i've ever heard. they're just overall hilarious to me, simple as that. subscribed literally last month, despite being a fan of them for a while due to their videos with mark. joe santagato: also just very funny; his reactions to shit is priceless. subscribed last year due to being exposed to him by my friend alyssa. i'm subscribed to like... over 100 others, mostly amv makers, but i don't actively watch. do your parents swear? dad does, mom doesn't much and mostly avoids "fuck" unless she's pissed. name all the movies you remember crying during while watching them. i've never liked sobbed at any movie, but i know i've teared up to "the notebook," "a walk to remember," "titanic," i think "marley and me," and i know good and well there are more. are you excited to pick out your wedding dress one day? kinda. i think it'd be cool to see various different ones until i find the one that just makes sense, but i hate trying things on and most of all, i do fucking not want some random woman helping me get dressed and undressed. awkward. how many weddings have you been to? three that i remember: randi's, lolita's, ashley's. what is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? break up with me over fucking facebook messenger after dating for almost four years. are you afraid that one day you might get cancer? yes. i'm not actively scared of it, but i still worry about it, considering a number of people in my family have had it. what do you do at a party? i don't go to parties. what is your relationship with your pets? i could never love my own human child more than i love teddy. i adore him in every way and he is absolutely my son. he's such an amazing dog. venus is my baby, too. snakes have always been special to me, but she specifically is even moreso. she's so calm and friendly. cali is okay. she's too active for me personally and she is a HORRENDOUS begger, which is my biggest pet peeve with animals. she doesn't listen, either. bentley, i just don't like. i don't hate him, no, but i just don't like him. he's the most hyper creature on planet earth, he's obnoxious in general, he barks at everything, he's impossible to house train, he doesn't listen, he begs, he just... annoys me. does it matter to you if your boy/girlfriend drinks? if he drinks anymore than occasionally, yes. i wouldn't even tolerate regular drinking. do you think abortion should be illegal? no. it wouldn't stop abortions; it would only send us back to times when things like coathanger abortions were common, and that would only result in more deaths than just the child. how many siblings does your significant other have? he has one sister named ashley. have you ever done three or more shots in a row? i've never done shots. do not want. i don't like the taste of alcohol, and with how concentrated they are, i already know i'd hate them. have you ever shared a shower or bath with someone as an adult? no, also do not want. taking a shower is my personal time to get clean, i don't want someone else around me. do you have any strapless bras? hunny, i'm plus-sized. a strapless bra would be a bad idea lol. do either of your parents text? they both do. dad's really bad at it though so usually calls. what health problems occur in your family? high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, depression, cancer is in question, asthma, and i know i'm forgetting some... have you ever participated in s&m? noooo, not interested whatsoever. what do you most disagree on with your best friend? omg true shit colleen hates markiplier (her husband loves him) so realistically i should shun her lmao. okay no seriously our biggest disagreement is either her racism or firm dislike of gay marriage. with sara, i'm not sure? most of our beliefs are similar, but i don't know all of hers. what is the movie that you have waited the longest for/which film do you remember anticipating the most/are still anticipating? GIVE ME "THE INCREDIBLES 2" NOW if you ever think about getting married, what are some aspects of the wedding that you would like to see in a non-traditional manner (e.g., a different color dress or “partners” over “husband” and “wife”)? i might wear black. i also don't want to get married in a church. if you could marry any celebrity today who would it be? i wouldn't. i mean sure, i like some celebs, but it's not like i personally know them. if you were pregnant, how long would you wait to write something about it on facebook? after it was confirmed by a doctor. what's your favorite kind of lip piercing? (monroe, labret, snakebites, etc.) i like vertical labrets like mine. what’s the best valentine’s day gift you’ve gotten? jason pretty much went all-out and got me roses, a box of chocolates, and a copy of "heavy rain," which i'd really been wanting to play. it was super sweet. do you drink ginger ale when you are not sick? no. i sip it when my stomach's upset, but if i'm not sick, it makes me feel so. ever been homeless? technically, but i stayed with a friend during this time. have you ever had feelings for two people at the same time? if so, were you in a relationship with one of the two people? and if so, did you feel guilty about it? once upon a time, i was torn between jason and juan, and i ended up dating jason. thank the lord god almighty i didn't go for juan. where would you rather go: greece or hawaii? probably greece. ever seen a burning building in person? yes. when i lived in sharpsburg, there was an awful house fire diagonal to us. did you vote in the last presidential election? nope. hated everyone. if someone tells you a really juicy gossip right now, would you pass it on? i'm not ten, thanks. who is the last person that asked to hang out with you? my boyfriend.do you call it fall or autumn? autumn, usually. how do you deal with oppressive heat? stay the fuck inside or whine like a bitch if i'm forced to be in it.if you're home alone and someone knocks on the door, what do you do? i don't answer. my family knows if they need to get in, text me. i'm too afraid to even look out the window when i'm home alone and someone knocks.what's one book that you have read that will stick with you forever? "johnny got his gun" by dalton trumbo. have you ever dated someone who eventually turned up gay, or straight if they were once gay? actually, i think so. i'm like 90% sure aaron's gay. do you eat onion rings? i can only tolerate a couple bites of onion rings from certain places. when you get a headache do you take painkillers right away or try to wait it out? depends on severity. i'll normally lie down if it's time for bed or if i haven't napped that day, i might grab a cold washcloth, or i'll take meds if it's bad enough. do you think pigs are cute or ugly? i fucking love pigs okay. what’s your favorite thing to do? write. if the last female you talked to told you that she was pregnant, what would you say to her? well, that would be my mother, and considering she's been through menopause and is also not with anyone, i'd be real fucking confused. if the last male you talked to told you that he was going to be a father, what would you say to him? that would be my boyfriend, and considering he's sure as hell not going to be one because of me, we'd be breaking up. how’s your online personality different from your offline personality? i'm way more outgoing online, as well as usually more talkative. i'm more open. have you ever assisted in a birth? omg no and i never will. call it a miracle all you want, it's fucking disgusting. first song that comes onto your iPod when you go to shuffle. "happy together" by filter. have you ever fought with someone over a guy? i'm so lucky to have never had to face that issue. do you prefer "the simpsons" or "family guy"? i don't really watch either, but "family guy." what was your middle school’s mascot? cobras. who is your favorite super hero? batman. what’s one meal that you like to eat whilst sick? not a meal, but i tend to like jell-o. i don't eat a lot when i'm sick. who provokes your sarcastic side the most? my boyfriend, easily. what’s your favorite type of insect? butterflies. what’s your LEAST favorite type of insect? RHINOCEROS BEETLES OH MY FUCKING- what’s your favorite way to eat nutella? just on a spoon like a fatass @_@ how many vowels are there in your first name? two, unless you say it like a weirdo. what’s your opinion of root beer? omg pls no have mercy. disgusting. who do you talk to every day no matter what? my mama. have you ever been attracted to someone’s parent? pretty sure no. have you ever pole danced before? no, nobody wants to see me do that ha ha. no shit though, last month colleen asked me if i wanted to go to a class together just for shits and giggles. i thought she was out of her damn mind. what song are you playing now, or wish you were playing? "pumped up kicks" by foster the people. i've been listening to music like mad lately. has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry? i don't know, not sure. i think the closest was chester bennington's, though, because he was so important to my childhood. there are celebs whose deaths i know will make me cry, though. has the same sex ever undressed in front of you? my best friend and sister. has the opposite sex ever done that? my ex would so long he still had boxers on. is it ever okay to hit a child? when is this? fuck no. i don't even support spanking. are any of your siblings married? what are their spouses' names? ashley's husband's name is nick. how many times have you been cussed out? plenty of times online, once in real life. are you anyone’s first love? i highly doubt it. how many houses have you lived in? four. well, i kinda lived in the apartment, but not technically. have you ever had a cavity? yes. your regrets: are they mostly things you HAVE done, or haven’t? haven't. can you ride a bike with no handlebars? i used to be able to, but not anymore. are there any songs you really like, but don't like certain parts of it (lyrics, beat, etc.)? yes. particularly the intros to "brickhouse 2000" by rob zombie & "more human than human" by white zombie. fucking disgusting. i skip them if i can. have you ever taken someone's virginity? considering i'm a virgin, no. do you think suits are sexy? y e s when and why did you move out of your parents’ home? i haven't yet. have you ever tried to be friends with someone who broke your heart? yeah. didn't go over well. what are your best friend(s)'s siblings' names? sara has a brother named luke and another brother whose name i can't remember, and colleen has a sister named chelsea and a half-brother named bobby. if you suffer from any kind of illness/disorder: if you were able, would you choose to cure yourself? why or why not? of course i would?? i don't think this needs explaining?? at which point in your life were you the most healthy? the least? physically? when i was like... 16 or 17. i was 120 pounds and just really fit in general. least, i don't know, probably the beginning of this year because abilify essentially ruined my life. mentally, i was healthiest as a child. least healthy, also the beginning of this year. have you met your crush/s.o.'s parents? i'll hopefully be meeting his mom in october. his dad is dead. do horror movies scare you more when they're 'based on a true story'? no, because i doubt most are. have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk? i've seen dad drunk plenty of times, once with my mom. she denies she was drunk, but she totally was. (if your parents are married), do you know where they got engaged? they're not married anymore, but their engagement was the least romantic thing ever lol. to my knowledge, my dad literally just told my mom they should get married after one of their friends did lmao. would your mom make a good president? NO. she's too emotional for that. are you attracted to confident/outgoing people, or quiet/reserved people? i can go either way, but in general, confident/outgoing because i'm the quiet/reserved one. is there an outfit that you wear much more frequently than any other? i tend to wear my otep shirt quite a bit because it's just really comfy. when's the last time you ALMOST cried, but didn't? when i was listening to "given up" by linkin park and the lyric "put me out of my misery" came up. with chester's suicide just passing, i don't know, it hit me. i've mostly been avoiding listening to them lately (i've been listening to my itunes a lot lately), but i really felt like listening to the song. what makes up your ancestry? german, irish, and polish. considering my last name is scottish though, i wonder if we have scottish origins on my dad's side. have you ever witnessed either of your parents being heartbroken? mom after the divorce. she tried and still tries to mask it with anger, but i see through it. how many people of the opposite sex have you said ‘i love you’ to? just one romantically. have you ever watched the sun rise? yes. i remember one occasion years ago where me, nicole, and her best friend allison stayed up all night, and it was a blast. we went walking down the path in the middle of the night like idiots and then at sunrise, and then we jumped into the pool lol. mom woke up because she heard us outside and was so confused ha ha. your ex REALLY needs you at 3 am and you have a way to their house - would you? only if it was a life or death situation. who’s the person you’ve known the longest online? that i'm still in contact with, pretty sure emma. what’s the worst color tattoo to get? why? technically white. the color doesn't stand out well. well, if you're white. do you keep track of your pets’ birthdays? i only know teddy's, which is november 1st. what do your siblings do for a living? katie decorates cakes; she's very talented. i don't know what bobby, misty, and tiffany do. ashley is a radiographer and mammographer. nicole is a dance instructor. would you date a 18 year old at the age you are now? nope. what about 30? no. who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence? colleen's brother. what’s your next piercing going to be? nose. what are your views on spontaneous human combustion? i don't know if i believe it or not. know anyone with a substance abuse problem? i know someone who recently became sober and i'm super proud of her. how does alcohol affect you? i flush badly and my stomach kinda burns. but otherwise, i handle it extremely well. i've never been drunk, anyway. how far away is the closest mcdonald’s from your house? not even five minutes. maybe not even three. forget about toppings. What type of crust do you like on pizzas? T H I C C if you hit an animal while driving, would you stop to see if it was okay? ... i'm pretty sure if i hit an animal with a speeding car, it's not okay?? i'd cry, though. if you have a significant other, how long have you been together? two months now. did you attend sunday school as a child? yep. what is your favorite card game and when was the last time you played it? i don't really like card games, but i guess "magic: the gathering" (thnx jason). i was bad at it, though. i haven't played since jason and i were together. who was the last person you talked to on skype/video chat? my bro sam, but without video. name the last five people that messaged you on facebook, and tell me something about them. morgan: she's been a sweetheart for as long as i've known her and i was super surprised when she contacted me (she wants me to take pictures of her dog in the fall). girt: he's my boyfriend and is just a goof. everett: an old friend that honestly creeps me out sometimes because he acts like he likes me occasionally, but he's too old for me. colleen: one of my best friends that means the world to me. nicole: my little sister.what's your best talent? writing, i guess.are you a fan of anime? sure, some. what illegal things have you done? downloading things, i've probably jaywalked before, drank underage. should there be an application process for having children? no. that would in no way stop humans from reproducing. how intense is your anger? have you ever hurt anyone/yourself? it can be pretty intense, but i usually don't outwardly express it. i have hurt myself. have you ever contemplated cheating on anyone? no, because i actually know a thing or two about loyalty. when you played tic-tac-toe, were you usually the x or o? x. if you were born outside of your era, when would you want to be born and why? the '80s. i love the '80s. well, maybe the '70s, so i'd be older in the '80s to experience more. what do you think is the most over-rated candy ever? snickers. i don't like them. out of your friends, who would you say you are most jealous of, artistically? jax. she's wonderful. most jealous of….intellectually? my boyfriend, actually. he's very intelligent. do you like real heavy metal or recent screamo crap? heavy metal is my favorite genre, but i don't like screamo. i want to understand what i'm hearing. do you like ronnie james dio? very nice, talented man. died too young. do you have a specific gas station you usually go to? or do you stop wherever? mom usually stops at sheetz. how much older than you was the oldest person you have dated/had a relationship with? we only "dated" less than a day, but he was at least four years older. maybe a bit more. what is your opinion on dating someone who already had a child/children from a previous relationship? i personally wouldn't do it. i don't want any semblance of maternal responsibility, especially towards a child that isn't even mine. is marijuana legal for "recreational use" where you live? also what is your opinion on the recent legalization of marijuana in certain states? uhhh i don't know, let me check. *checks and promptly deletes search from history lmao* no, it's not. i don't support its legalization. cigarettes are enough of a problem, you don't need to be smoking other shit with more carcinogens. how often do you typically change your bra? considering i barely go anywhere ever so am almost constantly in pajamas, i barely ever wear a bra lol. but when i do, i'll use it for a few days before changing it because of how briefly i actually wear it. do you usually have bad symptoms around "that time of the month"? not really, no, ever since i started birth control. i get mild or sometimes kinda severe abdominal cramps and sometimes a headache. i have to pee like constantly. that's pretty much it. is your hair thick or thin? would you say it's easy to manage? literally every hairdresser i've ever seen always says it's like the thickest hair they've ever seen lol. and no, because it's so thick. have you ever had to deal with any type of long distance relationship, whether it be a romantic relationship or a friendship? most of my friendships are long-distance. how do you feel about being called sweetie/dear/honey/etc.? so long it's not "babe" or "baby," i'm fine with it, and it's usually endearing. what would you say is your worst habit? catastrophizing/always assuming the absolute worst. laziness. procrastinating. is chest hair a turn-on? not excessive to me, but i don't particularly care about appearances. what’s your mom’s middle name? marie. have either of your parents ever had an affair? mom claims dad did, but it's not like she hasn't lied about shit dad's done before. dad suspected she did with mike, but i know she hasn't. what made you pick up the last book you started reading? i didn't pick it myself. mom just brought me a book that was supposedly interesting while i was in the hospital. the last book i picked myself was because the lich king is one of my favorite wow characters. hypothetically and generally speaking, how would you go about breaking up with someone? is there anything you would make sure to say, or perhaps not say? be honest as to why i was breaking up with him. what i would say would depend on the situation. are there any fictional characters you like even though they’re “bad” or “evil?” what qualities draw you to a character? of course there is. i like realistic, flawed characters. is there anything you’ve promised yourself you’ll never do again? multiple things, and i'm keeping that promise. as a kid, what was your favorite playground activity? the swings. how many people in your life have you kissed? three, when it should've only been two. what is a movie that you heard about recently that you do NOT want to see? hm, i'm not sure. i don't really keep up with current movies. what do you do during long trips in the car? listen to music! were you a chubby or thin baby? i was pretty average. has anyone ever called you a good kisser? not those exact words. have you ever wanted to be homeschooled? if so, why? if not, why not? do you know anyone who is, or have you ever been homeschooled yourself? i was homebound for a while in middle school because school deeply depressed me and stressed me out. i have a pair of cousins who were homeschooled for religious reasons. as in, religious to the point they weren't allowed to watch spongebob. and the family wonders why brenna's insane. are you typically a jealous person? i wouldn't say typically, but i can be. do you remember how you felt on 9/11? i don't remember 9/11. who is your ex dating/talking to? i think aaron's with a guy. i don't think juan is with anyone, and he shouldn't be. i'm gonna guess jason's still with ashley. i hope tyler's single until he gets his shit together. are you donating your organs? yes. not like i'm gonna need 'em. ever met any online friends in person? no, but i hope i can this october!! has a boy/girl ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend for you? yes. we weren't together and never actually met, but it was definitely cheating. do large bodies of water scare you? i'm scared of the ocean/abysmally deep water. like i can be at the shore, but not deep. do you brush your tongue with your tooth brush? yes? do people not? if you could have one more pet, what? i'd get a chameleon, because i don't want only one rat because they're social. what do you order at chik-fil-a? just the traditional chicken sandwich. have you ever eaten lobster? no. it'd be interesting to try. i've had crab legs before though and i didn't like them, so is lobster and crab similar in taste? as a child, what were your favorite games to play? playing the "spyro the dragon" trilogy obsessively lol. my favorite card game was "go fish," i think. i don't remember my favorite board game. are there any hobbies you have that you don't perform in front of others? i absolutely will not write or draw in front of someone. i don't like editing my photography in front of others, but i will if i have to. what is your favorite piece of art you own? do posters count? then my "silent hill 3" po-... actually, no, my illidan poster. it's badass. who is your craziest friend? colleen's my favorite crazy bitch <3 what is the one song you could listen to nonstop? none. i'd get tired of it eventually. do you smile at strangers? i'm not just going to look at a stranger and randomly smile. if i have a reason to, sure. what’s the one book you think everyone should be required to read? "johnny got his gun" by dalton trumbo. think twice about war. ever used a ouija board? no. i don't think i believe they work, but i believe in them enough to not fuck with them. do you believe in karma? no. not everyone gets what they deserve. ever TRULY wanted to kill someone? somewhat. not anymore, thankfully. i was being the jealous ex-girlfriend. who annoys you more: the people who go crazy over a current popular movie/celebrity/musician/whatever or the people that spend all their time hating on whatever it is? hating on it. if people love something, let them love it. but if you're going to spend all your time bashing something for no apparent reason, please shut up. it's fine if you don't like something, but you don't have to constantly bitch about it. let people enjoy things. what are you most against out of the following: the current president/prime minister in your country, the use of drugs & alcohol, capital punishment, owning/using guns, or discrimination of any kind (racism, ageism, sexism, etc.)? why are you against this? if i had to pick, discrimination. it's such a basic right to be equals. do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? it's disgusting when anyone gets wasted. is confidence cute? "cute" isn't really the word i'd use for it, but attractive. but anyway, yes, but not to the point of arrogance. would you ever want to swim with sharks? no. i'm not THAT trusting of a predator. who was the last person you danced with? colleen. which shrek movie was the best? the second! are pit bulls evil? fuck off. would you die for any of your pets? for teddy, yes. have you ever outwardly wished someone the best, but inwardly wished that they would be unhappy? ... yeah. not anymore. does your ex-boyfriend/-girlfriend’s new romantic interest know about the things you two did together? how would i know? do you ever tell your current boyfriend or girlfriend about the things that you did with an ex-partner? i'd tell him if he asked me. have you ever had someone drag his or her nails down your back? yeah. have you ever met someone you thought was perfect for you, but he or she was already dating someone else? i had a crush on a guy named sebastian in high school. he was in a relationship. they had troubles a lot and i was always there for him to talk. is there any alcohol in your freezer right now? there's beer in the fridge because nicole's "boyfriend" or whatever the fuck he is drinks too much. have you ever been in a physically abusive relationship? no. i wouldn't tolerate that shit for a second. if someone left you with a 12 month old baby for a day, could you confidently watch them by yourself? ... you could've just said "one year old?" but whatever. no, because i'm not changing a damn diaper. is there any certain style of architecture you really enjoy? GOTHIC. have you ever made out with someone you weren’t dating? no, i don't roll like that. do you have any interesting tattoos/piercings? people like my semi-colon butterfly and "how rare and beautiful it is to even exist" tats. my lip ring gets attention, too. ryder (nephew) appears to love it because he constantly stares at me and smiles and we don't see what else he'd be staring at. are your lips soft? i've been told so, when they feel dry like constantly to me? where are your siblings? katie's in kentucky, bobby's in tennessee, misty's in ohio, no fucking clue where tiffany is, ash and nicole are in nc with us. so, what if you married the last person you kissed? way, way too early to think about that. i could see it happening years from now since i don't see any potential issues in our relationship, but certainly not anytime soon. have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend? pretty much. why do we put the clocks one hour forward or one hour back? i was told in high school it has something to do with the government wanting to conserve power and that there's no scientific reason. don't even know if that's true. is your ex older or younger than you? i think aaron's a bit younger (i could be wrong), juan's older, jason's older, i don't know if tyler was younger or older. would you eat a live spider for one million dollars? how big are we talking? is it venomous? ever been kicked out of your home? no. what's your biggest "what if"? "what if i'm never successful?" most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender? who says everyone's attracted to their opposite gender? but james hetfield from metallica. i don't give a fuck if he's in his 50s. @_@ can insanity bring on more creativity? obviously, but not always in a good way. what is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? going to the partial hospitalization program at holly hill. what would you want to be written on your tombstone? i don't know. to at least give somewhat of an entertaining answer, i know my mom wants "my body lies, but still i roam" on hers. it's a reference to "wherever i may roam" by metallica. do you know anyone who can fluently speak more than one languages? juan. probably others. what animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? ferret, but they're too much work. have you ever had any really infected injuries? no. are you too shy to tell people when you’re developing feelings for them? yessir. what did your dress for prom look like? first was maroon. second was black. what're all the enemies from games that have ACTUALLY scared you? the clickers from "the last of us" are high up on the list. fucking disgusting and terrifying concept. pyramid head when i played "silent hill 2" the first time and he chased you down the corridor in the hospital freaked me out, but he himself i found more cool than scary. there's this one, totally insignificant guy in the first "outlast" that really creeped me out- the guy in a straitjacket that followed you around asking to be your friend or something like that. also the groom (i don't remember if he had an actual name) from the first "outlast" dlc was by far the most fucked-up villain in any game i have ever played, although he didn't actually scare me. the keeper from "the evil within" was fucking creepy with how he stormed towards you, although he himself also didn't scare me; like pyramid head, i thought he was more cool than anything. regenerators from "resident evil 4" are fucking terrifying. the xenomorphs from "alien: isolation" are horrific because they're so realistic and have the best ai i've like ever seen of any monster in a game. fucking scp-096, scp-173, and scp-049 from "scp containment breach" are goddamn horrifying. they're the three biggest reasons i can't play that damn game lol. i've played a lot of good horror games, so there's a good number. what do you like about the lead singer from your favorite band? i don't really know anything about jeremy (ad2r), jonathan (korn), and til (rammstein), so. as for ozzy, i adore him for how far he's come as a person, and he's also just a very silly individual. james (metallica) is an amazing person who has opinions i respect. i don't know much about dani (cradle of filth), but boy does he write amazing lyrics. all i know about him personally is i'm pretty sure i've seen him say he's a satanist, which i don't exactly respect. i honestly don't like much about manson as he's a mostly repulsive person, but i do enjoy how brazenly unique and shameless he is. as for otep, i respect how strong she is, coming from a childhood of abuse, but for the most part, she's honestly an intolerant bitch (her facebook is a mess). would you ever wish to explore a cave? GOALS ever been in a room so messy you couldn’t sit on the floor? yup. i've been in two hoarders' houses and i nearly cried. do you care if guys have long hair? ... you know it's 2017, right? do you care if girls have short hair? again, 20fucking17. what would you do if you found out you were dating a vampire? ... is it bad if vampires were real, i'd probably find that to be super cool? are any of your pets “overweight”? no. why the quotations? has anyone ever bought you a ring? mom, colleen, and jason are the only ones i remember. which one of your friends is the most brutally honest? colleen, easily. what is your absolute favorite band? ozzy osbourne. when, if ever, did you start liking beer? i've never tried beer and don't want to. it smells awful and reminds me of when dad was an alcoholic. what was the best thing your mum/dad/guardian used to make? my dad makes great eggs. right now, nothing my mom makes that is really unique in flavor or something comes to mind. what’s your comfort food? ice cream. how do you like your eggs? scrambled and cheesy or as an omelette. where do you buy most of your food? walmart or harris teeter. ht is easier since mom works there, but we prefer walmart brand stuff. what fish do you like? i don't really like fish. i remember YEARS ago i had striper and though it was good, though. i think i liked crappie, too, though i got a bone stuck in my throat lol. what meats have you eaten besides cow, pig and poultry? nothing that comes to mind except fish, since we just mentioned it. i've never eaten anything even remotely strange, really. what’s your favorite restaurant? olive garden. i also love buffalo wild wings. would you date someone who’s shorter than you? i hate this fucking question and don't understand when i see people say "no." who the fuck cares how tall someone is. would you go out with your best friend’s ex? only if she was sincerely okay with it and i really liked the dude. i wouldn't if they were a serious couple, though. that'd be weird. have you ever taken a racy photo for a sweetie? awww, that's so cute how you wrote it as "sweetie" lol. but no. are you friends with your sweetie’s friends? not yet. i don't know most of his friends. well, we had some of the same friends in high school, but neither of us really talk to them now. have you ever been tested for stds? no. have you ever run into your ex with his/her new sweetie? no. that would've been a t r a i n w r e c k before. even still, it would make me uncomfortable. have you ever felt guilty after doing something sexual? yep. have you ever lied about your sexual past? no. i don't have much to hide. what is your significant other listed under in your phone? just his name. am i a bad girlfriend? assuming you’re not a saint, have you ever shoplifted? no, i'm an angel. when/where did you meet your first love? sophomore year of high school. what’s your favorite feature of the person you’re currently interested in? his sense of humor.

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