#bwahahahha
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Nordegrim will be real in two seconds! (i’ve been so obsessed w then recently ahhhhggg)
#stacy pilgrim#young neil#neil nordegraf#young neil nordegraf#scott pilgrim takes off#Was too lazy to make a backgroundjhakdjk#bwahahahha#scott pilgrim vs the world#nordegrim
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I fucking love Hank Green
#I love him so much#he’s so funny#LOOK AT HIM#BWAHAHAHHA#LMAO#Funny#shitpost#Hank green#John green#green brothers#vlog brothers#cancer#CANCER TIER LIST#BWHIFIRJWIWKW#YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS UP
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I think you would jave ancrush in Ruff Ruffman
I never watched the show, btw
RUFF RUFFMAN??? LIKE.. THE CARTOON DOG???
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ALSO OWEN SNITCHING WAS MADDDDD FUNNY
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i cant even have sex with my own wife in cotl. fuck this.
#me: omg me and my wife can have baby#was WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#WTF COTL DEVS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#spacie spoinks#i made my wife have sex with one of the high level guys that i like and i mean they're friends so#we shall raise this babey tagether#well#not the high level guy they're gonna die soon b/c they're old#i love my cotl wife he has lived so long#longest living cult member he just loves me so much#longest living spouse as well#very epic#whenever he dies im bringing him back and giving him one of them golden necklace things#wife shall live 5eva#wife and his brother acshually#they're my guys#:]#they're both cats btw BWAHAHAHHA#I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY ALSO#MY LAMB CLEARLY HAS A TYPE LUL#(cat are also just my favorite animal in general so skfjds)
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look at my stupid idiot dipshit son i love him so much
#my horrible tsundere 33 year old gay(actually bisexual) son who doesn't fully believe in mental illness despite Definitely having ptsd#pretty boy aasimar paladin who looks like an elf prince but acts like a gas station attendant with anger issues#who lies about his age and obsesses over his looks to maintain what loose control he has over his self-esteem#men keep giving them large sums of money despite them being Very prone to binge drinking and gambling#i like him so much. pelase look at them.#my posts#gdnd2#my art#AND HE LIKES ANIME.#oh i forgot his ring in the middle fingers pic didn't i.whoops#youguys are lucky ive been so tired and busy i havemt beenable to frantically explain my dearly beloved hot mess' stupidly extensive lore#o much of anyone besides myself (and our dm 2 years ago)#so many bad things ahve happened to him. i want him to be happy more than anything but he's not very good at enabling that for himself. so.#well okay i want him to be happy but also i want him to suffer so so so so much first. bwahahahha#matthew#<- thats his tag
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hate anon you’ll never be forgotten for making my entire morning<3
#which id hilarious because they deffo thought they could hurt me w it bUT NO . i’m a hater you can’t hurt me bwahahahha#is*#🦝 ; buck.txt
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The cat must be named Slurmy
hdfghjkjkhKHJGFHKJDKJH FUCKING good idea. I'll ask my sisters to name one of the kittens slurmy if we end up having any extras.
I'll probably call her Slurmy, regardless, official or not~
🥰🥰🥰
#scrawny answers#scrawny rambles#BWAHAHAHHA i'm recording an audio diary and saw this#anonymous(if that even is your name~) your contribution shall be immortalised#in digital memory#if only for my eyes and ears alone
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BLOWING SO MANY KISSES I WAS WAITING FOR DOROTHY L SAYERS TO COME UP. NOW WHERE'S NGAIO MARSH????
#random#bwahahahha i got drunk on castle st when i was a student. bring up other streets from my home doctor who audio.
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i'm asking abt the loreeeee
- helpialmostpastedsmutagain🖤
I’ll tell you later my moms mad 😜
#answered <3#I PROMISE ILL TELL YOU TMMRW#REMIND ME PLSSS#ALSO YOU PASTING SMUT IS SO FUNNY BWAHAHAHHA#IMGAINE
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five seconds away from shaving my head tbh
#muddi thoughts#just ahhhhhhhh#stressed out wanna do it#defo being like fuck growing my hair out rn bwahahahha
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Bum
ARE YOU CALLING ME A BUM??? 😭
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Grim: MC, who's that kid?
MC: I don't know. *cradling Cheka* He just went up to me and asked me for uppies.
Grim: Mrah! He looks so cozy! When are you going to put him down? Should be my turn now!
MC: Shh. You'll wake him up, Grim.
Grim: *grumbles* I'll go look for that kid's guardian!
MC: Okay~. Tell me if you see them, okay?
Leona: *received a phone call from his brother, asking him if Cheka has arrived in NRC*
Leona: No, not yet. I think.
Leona: Tch. How would I know? Did you send him straight to my dorm?
Leona: Then that's not my problem if he gets lost. *hangs up*
Ruggie: Looks like your nephew decided to go somewhere else.
Leona: *clicks his tongue* Now I need to search for a missing child. What a way to start my day.
Jack: *knocks on his door* Leona?
Leona: What?
Jack: I think MC-senpai has your nephew.
Leona: Huh?
Leona: You moron. Why would you take a child you don't know?
MC: I didn't take him. He approached me. Anyway, I didn't know you have a nephew, Leona.
Leona: Yes. He's my brother's child.
MC: Hm... If not for the ears, I wouldn't believe you.
Leona: *frowns*
MC: Cheka, your Unca's here. I'll give you to him now.
Cheka: *shakes his head*
MC: Hm? Is there something wrong?
Cheka: Want to sleep more... *yawns*
Leona: You can sleep in the dorm. *about to pull him away from them*
Cheka: Nooooo... I'm trying to be close with your lover, Unca!
MC: ...
Leona: ...
Ruggie and Jack: ...
Ruggie: Lover—BWAHAHAHHA!!!
MC: *looking at Leona like he has some explaining to do*
MC: Ah... I see. *smiling at Cheka* So I'm your Unca's wallpaper.
Cheka: *nods* And! And! He said he's going to ask for your hand after he graduates!
Leona: Hey! I didn't say anything like that!
Cheka: You did, Unca! I still have the letter! And your picture of Aun! *pouting*
Leona: You—
Cheka: Aun! You will marry my Unca, right?!
MC: ...
MC: *smiles like an angel* No way, I would do that!
Cheka: ...
Cheka: *sniffles* WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Leona: Why did you say that, you moron?!
MC: Well, I can't lie about things like that, Leona. It's against my principles. And I don't want him hoping for nothing.
Ruggie: Wow, senpai. I thought you were just all nice.
MC: Anyway, I can treat him to an ice cream so he would forget about it.
MC: Right, Cheka?
Cheka: *sniffles* *nods*
MC: See?
Leona: ...
Leona: Tch. *realizes to himself that he has come to like them more because of that*
Grim: That's right, hench-human! Stay single forever!
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BWAHAHAHHAHA HELP WTF 😭😭😭😭
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showing mellie’s birth gave way to my evil thoughts 😈 what if reader died during birth and simon has no idea.
coming home to a new baby he has no idea exists and a dead wife, winnie crying unconsolably under roach’s sympathetic but helpless eyes, and is now having to take care of a toddler and a newborn.
shower us with angst keri!! bwahahahha!! 😈😈😈
you’re evil. i love it. oh i thought about killing missus at all turns. i think about it. just a warning lol
HAPPINESS AU.
There were thousands of missed calls from you when Simon turned on his cell phone.
There were dozens of returned ones by the time he had pulled into the drive, not even caring that he left the car unlocked. The house was lit up, he raced up the steps and slammed his key into the lock before turning it. He threw open his door, not caring that his daughter could be asleep. Something happened and he wasn’t there.
“Y/N!” He called, walking down the hallway into the living room, eyebrows furrowing as he saw his good friend, Roach, leaned against the back of his couch, cradling something in his arm and holding his daughter against his side. Winnie came running from Roach’s side, sobbing. Simon picked up his daughter, her face red, splotchy, and full of tears.
He pushed some hair from her face, cupping her little cheek and speaking calmly, “Winter, what’s wrong?”
Her little body trembled, she shook her head before diving into his neck. He held her to his chest, one hand cradling her head as be looked to Roach, the baby Roach held in his arms had your hair color, your beautiful skin, dressed in an olive green onesie.
She didn’t. She couldn’t have been… Fuck.
“Y/N!” He called, moving towards Roach’s form leaning against the back of the couch. “Y/N!” He called upstairs, looking up it to see no lights on. He almost took a step up but stopped when he heard a cry.
The newborn in Roach’s arms began to fuss, little arms moving as they cried out. Roach could only gaze at Simon’s face, his own eyes full of tears.
“Where is my wife?”
Roach didn’t stop crying.
Fear plumed from his chest, anger fanned the flames as he shouted, “Where is my wife!”
Footsteps came from the front door, Simon’s heart lurched in his throat as he turned around to see his- Captain. Boonie hat rung in his hands, tears in his own eyes.
“Price, what-“
“Set Winnie down.”
John Price spoke with a softness Simon has never heard before in his life. Chills ran up his spine, the daughter loudly crying in his ear was drowned out by his heartbeat. Her little arms wrapped around his neck, tighter than they ever have before.
“John, where is my wife-“
He put up a hand. “Simon.”
The confused husband silenced, just wanting to know where the love of his life was. John met his eyes, and for a wordless moment, Simon felt grief. Sadness.
“The baby Roach is holding is your newborn daughter, Melody.”
His stomach dropped, eyes widened in surprise as he turned around to look at the creature again. She was so little.
With just a blink, he was back in that NICU - tubes and wires coming out of this little pink… thing in an incubator.
Another blink and he was back in his home, gazing at the little baby that looked just like you. His hands held his four year old tightly as he turned back to face Price, who was now a few steps closer. His face full of sorrow, tears running down his face as he stated in the military voice he was used to hearing, “Y/N didn’t make it out of the hospital.”
Simon’s head began to spin, around and around and around as he could barely take in small breaths.
“What are you saying?”
Price’s hand rested on Simon’s shoulder.
“Y/N is dead, Simon.”
The air went frigid. His lungs constricted, his head felt like a pound of bricks smashed against it, and he could hear his heart shatter into a million pieces on the ground. His knees locked, his hands froze, all he could feel was the familiar weight of holding his child.
“I learned right after you left the base half an hour ago. I called you, you didn’t answer.”
He felt nauseous. Dizzy. Like blood was oozing from an open wound in his chest, he felt exhaustion like he has never felt before. His bones were dipped in acid, his muscles constricting painfully - he felt like he was decomposing in that spot.
“Simon?”
Would flowers grow if I died right here?
If I died right now, would you lay beside me for the rest of time?
“Simon.”
If I live, how could I ever look at this place the same? How could I gaze at my daughters and act like I don’t see you in them?
If I live, how do I pretend that you’re still here? How can I remember the way you hold me if I haven’t seen you in months? How can I ignore the way your laugh haunts me, even when you were still here?
Winnie’s cries were loud, his entire body felt only pain, yet no crying wounds opened his skin. The only thing he couldn’t feel was his heartbeat.
If I live, how could I ever thank you for what you have done for me? What could I do to make you be proud of me?
There was ringing in his ears, he pressed his daughter to his chest and cheek. The Lieutenant has been beaten, stabbed, burned, suffocated, waterboarded - any torture method under the Sun, all without a single cry of pain because he forced them down. Now, as he stands in his living room, he willed for his throat to drag out a pain-relieving scream.
He made no noise as he fell to his knees.
How do I raise our daughters with the same grace and resilience you have? How do I tell them about you, their beautiful mother? How can I explain to them that I wasn’t here? How do I explain to my children that I broke a million promises to you?
How do I stop these tears?
PLEASE GIVE ME MORE HAPPINESS ASKS IM THRIVING
Copyright © 2023 lethalchiralium. All rights reserved.
#happiness series#lethalchiralium#lethal chiralium#simon ghost riley#simon riley#call of duty#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x wife!reader#simon riley x f!reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x wife!reader#simon ghost riley x f!reader
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