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codenamesazanka · 4 years

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For Shigaraki Birthday Week, Day 1: Rebirth

Title: running blind

Notes: Playing somewhat loose with the prompt. Also, fulfilling an ask or two I got last week: Spinaraki angst, and reincarnation. Sorta! I confess, and a warning, this fic will be rather strange, but I hope you’ll read it through! Thank you. Title subject to change.

It’s an impossible promise.

But Shuu will keep it.

The lights, the smells, the noises - they’re all too much. But Shuu keeps running, no matter what. No matter that he’s as good as blind in this alien city, having no direction and no destination; no matter the increasing bullet grazes on his back, (even with his scales they hurt so bad); no matter that what they’re looking for might not even exist.

Ten isn’t… He needs… Shuu hugs the small body he’s carrying in his arms closer, tighter, feeling for shallow breaths on his neck.

“Someone! Help!” Shuu’s voice is hoarse; he feels his throat failing, losing its grip on the air fueling his screams. “Please, help!”

Metas stick together. Ten said so. The metas, the mutants in this city, they must hear him, they must, they have to.

He hears the car before he sees it, and he’s able to spin around and crash into it with his back, shielding Ten. Even that didn’t wake him up, but it didn’t seem to hurt him either. Shuu still can feel him breathing, however slight, can still feel his beating heart.

Avoiding one death, but now facing another. The hunters advance, big and looming, and Shuu wraps his tail around him and Ten, squeezing his eyes shut, knowing it won’t save them; knowing that at least they were going to die together.

What happens next, he isn’t really sure. He hears screams and he tastes blood in the air, tastes fear and pain—

—but not from him. Not from Ten and him.

Instead, they’re unharmed; instead, a gentle hand touches his cheek; instead of death, there is a man.

“My children,” The man murmurs. He blocks the sun, shadows hiding his face, and all Shuu can make out is a smile. “Don’t be frightened. I’m here.”

The whispers at the Center—

his meta power is everything/ he can take meta abilities away/ Can give them to anyone too/ He’s got dozens/ he has hundreds/ he can do anything/ he’s gonna be leader of the metas/ he’ll change things/ make a new world

—called him The Oracle.

The Oracle says to call him ‘Sensei’.

“They wanted to move me to... to somewhere. Somewhere called Hong Kong.” Shuu stammers, words tangling and tumbling. His mouth is dry, his tongue is swollen, his chest is tight, but he can’t stop talking. For some reason he feels he must tell Sensei everything, empty himself out and hand it all over. “Ten too, they were gonna give him away, but to Canada.”

“And that’s when you two began to plan.” Sensei looks at him like Ten does, like he sees Shuu there, really there, wants him there. Even after they get what they want, they still stay, just for him. “Shuu-kun, I want to hear more, how you two escaped.”

“He stabbed himself,” Shuu says, then winces. It jumped out, and now so did all the images he has been trying to forget. “Remember Ten’s meta power? I told you, he can push his hurt—“

“He has the ability to transfer damage. Yes, I remember. Healing and harming, both.”

Shuu nods. “I stole a pen and gave it to him and he hid it. When it was Friday nighttime, after a bunch of the Doctors left, Ten stabbed himself and pushed his wound out on his door and it broke. Stab... stabbed again and broke the floor, then walls. All the kids got out, like we planned. We planned with the other kids, they each were supposed to do something, and it worked.”

“Aoi broke the sprinklers, so water was everywhere, and Mi— she’s an older kid, she‘s... VA Risk 5, and they would—to her—” He stops, before his mouth moves again, raw truth crawling out.

Sensei only sighs. “And your Center is supposed to be one of the more forward-thinking, humane laboratories. Well. Please, continue.”

“Mi used the water to drown the adults. Slammed them, and crushed them, mini tsunamis. The water was orange... Then all red.” Shuu rubs his jaw. “...My mouth and teeth too.

“I bit a lot of people.” Even now he tastes that thick, sour red. “I’m... Severely Aberrant, but I was mostly good, I’m VA Risk 2, so they were nice with me. And I killed them.”

“Do not be ashamed,” Sensei said softly. “You did the right thing. You and your friends.”

“Ten’s my best friend!” Shuu blurts out, really loud. “We... I never had one. Everyone at the Center is a Friend, but. For Ten, I’ll do anything. Before I met him, I was… lost.“

13 years, all his life. Nothing but the Center, and it took up his center, his core, his heart. Swallowed it up. Tossed it away, unneeded. Gone.

Then Ten arrived. And he found it.

You’ve never been outside? Ever?

I’ve been here since I was a baby. I was born like this, so…

That’s awful. When I break out, I’m taking you with me.

Me?

I’m gonna go back to my aunts and we’ll hide better this time, with you too.

What! But I—

Shut up, Shuu. I’ve decided. You’re coming.

The man is just like the stories say: he will grant miracles. Except...

“Are you sure that’s what you want, Shuu-kun?” Sensei asks, when Shuu wanted him to take away his aberration. “It’s a part of you, uniquely yours.”

He lets his gaze linger on Shuu, as if able to see Shuu’s meta-mutation as a thing, inside of him. DNA somehow shaped like a reptile, Shuu imagines, and The Oracle would be able to pick it up, put it away.

Then Sensei looks at Ten, who had woken up, on and off, but is now sleeping again, in the medical room for the third day, still on IVs and a ventilator.

“You successfully got here from Okinawa, you valiantly fought your way through your enemies trying to stop you, recapture you,” Sensei says. “Most importantly, you protected Ten-kun. All thanks to your impervious scales, your sharp claws, your powerful tail.”

Each mention of his distortions makes the part twinge, mini ghosts flying out, remaking the feelings of the times they were used.

“What does your heart tell you?” Sensei’s dark-bright eyes are on him again. “Think about it. Who and what you want to be...and the power you need to do so.”

Your tail is cool. It’s like another arm.

Stop trying to grab at it!

I’ll stop if you stop waving it around… ...See?

Only cuz you’re trying to touch it! And you’re not allowed.

But it’s fun.

I’m not even allowed to use it.

That’s a stupid rule, stop listening to them— Gotcha!

Hey!

Ten doesn’t like The Oracle.

“You’re the one who said to find him,” Shuu points out. They’re eating dinner on the 30th floor of a skyscraper; it’s part of Sensei's territory, like a tower of a castle. Sitting in a corner by the window, the view is a galaxy of lights. Nighttime in Kyoto.

Ten elbows him. “It was a maybe. And I’ve decided now: never mind him. Our plan is still to go back to Tokyo, and find my aunts.”

“He can help us find them, you know…”

Another elbow into his ribs. “We don’t need him. He’s weird. Creepy-weird.”

“Really? ...I think he’s okay. Nice.”

“That’s how they get you, Shuu! They act nice and smart and all fancy, but they’re not. I know it. The way he looks at you and me, he’s like the scientists.”

“You just don’t like that he said your meta ability is bad for you.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my power!” Ten exclaims. “What does he know? He said himself that he’s never seen one like it. So he doesn’t know nothing.”

Ten snaps the chopstick in his hand in half, though the two pieces are still connected, dangling. Before Shuu can stop him, Ten absorbs the damage.

Strands of wood weave themselves back together, settling back in place. Then Ten grabs an empty can of soda. As the chopstick becomes whole again, the can falls apart instead.

“Nothing wrong with it!”

But Ten says this through gritted teeth.

“Stupid!” Shuu smacks both things out of Ten’s hands. “Don’t use it anymore. See? It’s hurting you. It’s making you sick.”

He wraps his arms around Ten, who’s pretending that he isn’t trembling, isn’t breathing hard.

“It’s only because I’m still recovering.” Ten grips his arm, painfully tight. “I’ll be fine.”

“You always say that.”

Shuu remembers. The wound closed up, and the wall beneath Ten’s hand cracked and crumbled; but not enough. I’m fine, a gasp Shuu could barely hear, shaking arm raised, pen plunging back into flesh—

A fatal paradox, Sensei called it. Because as quick as Ten can pull and push injuries away, he still had to take it into himself first. Hurt himself. And then.

“Sensei said your inside is healing itself by damaging itself to heal itself.” Shu whispers. It has been days, but the horror still remains. “It’s eating you alive. Stop using it. Promise you’ll stop.”

“I’m not letting something like that stop me,” Ten mumbles. “I will not.”

“Ten, please.”

Ten refuses to reply.

Shuu tries to hug the pain out of both of them.

Why did you do that? Help me?

You were hurt.

No, I mean, why?

Why not?

Because you’re not supposed to use your power! And, not for someone like me! I’m—

Shuu, right?

What?

You’re Shuu. I’m Ten. Now we know each other. Now you’re not just “someone”.

Kiro is fast, but Shuu is faster. With his tail, he blocks the fist coming for Ten, before tackling the man altogether.

He’s getting good at that - using his tail. Fighting.

Shouting Shuu’s name, Ten joins in, backing him up, pouncing onto Kiro’s legs.

“You little shits!” Kiro hisses, trying to push them off. “This is how you repay Sensei? After he saved your sorry asses? I oughta—”

“Calm down, Kiro,” Sensei says, and everything stops. “There is nothing to be repaid. They’re free to leave, if they want.”

As everyone untangles themselves, he watches without a hint of anger or annoyance at the scuffle. Always calm, always patient. “Though I will be sad to see you two go, Shuu-kun, Ten-kun. I had hoped you would consider this place home.”

“I have a home.” Ten says as he pulls Shuu up to his feet. “I’ve got family. They’re waiting for me.”

“And for your friend?”

“Him too!” Ten snaps. “They’re waiting for us.”

“Oi, watch your tone—”

“Thanks for helping us, Sensei.” Shuu says, hoping to prevent another fight. “We’re grateful, really.”

Sensei smiles. “You boys will always be welcome, should the need arise. Food, medical care, sanctuary… As you’ve experienced this past week, everything is here. Remember that.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Ten tugs at Shuu’s hand. “Come on, let’s go.”

“A total waste, Sensei,” Kiro grumbles loudly, very much intending for Shuu and Ten to hear as they leave the room.

“Kiro, that’s enough.” This time, Sensei’s voice is harder, final. “Actually, do go make sure they have everything they need for their journey. It’ll be a long one.”

That digs at Shuu, because even after all that, Sensei still wants to help. He’s not a bad guy at all, Shuu wants to tell Ten.

And this is why later, in the evening, after waiting for Ten to fall asleep, Shuu goes to Kiro, and asks to help. Something to do, any way he could give something back.

“Cleaning things, moving things—” Not that Shuu has ever done much of any of it, “A mission. Dunno. I wanna help.”

Kiro sizes him up.

What’s the difference?

The difference is that I like you even if you’re dumb—I’m kidding! Sorry.

I don’t like this already.

I said I’m sorry! I mean it. You can call me dumb too. Cuz being best friends means we stick together, no matter what. We keep our promises, we have each other’s back. You’ll do anything for me...

All he has to do is crawl through the vents. All he has to do is to stick something to the wall. All he has to do is be quiet. Such a simple, easy thing.

Shuu messes up anyways.

...and I’ll do anything for you.

Caught and shocked and choked - a big ass lizard, like hunting a crocodile, laughter, laughter, the sound of which Shuu knows he’ll never forget for as long as he lives.

In the time between the kick to his head and waking up to Sensei at his bedside, he was rescued and brought back; and somewhere in those few hours—

Ten was his best friend.

—He didn’t hesitate, Sensei tells him. He did not spare even a second to transfer, for all his focus was on healing you—

Then he wasn’t anymore.

The tears won’t stop and the world is dissolved in water, but seeing isn’t necessary to beg.

Shuu begs, because this man is the Oracle, the closest thing to a living god this world has. He is hope itself right now; to Shuu, his only hope. He has to be, he must, please, there must be something, anything, Sensei can do can save Ten—

“Shuu.” Sensei’s hand is heavy on his shoulder; as is his name, spoken, without the usual ‘-kun’. Heavy too, is the weight of all the unspoken things that comes with it - disapproval, though not unkind; the finality; the truth Shuu refuses to accept, not yet.

“It’s my fault,” Shuu says, more to himself than to Sensei. “It’s my fault, mine.”

But Sensei responds: “You’re to be blamed as much as Ten-kun is to be blamed for caring about you. Would you say this is his fault?”

“No! No, never—”

“Then the fault lies elsewhere. The ones who harmed you, who forced Ten-kun to use his power to save you, the creators of this tragedy. Don’t you agree?”

He knows. The hunters, the ones who chase and laugh and kick, who will never consider them human, just freaks to be wiped out - even people like Ten, normal except for just one special thing. The scientists, the non-metas. All of them, everyone, the world. And—

“Still me.” This is still the truth, the one he accepted already. “I was… If I had been better, tougher...”

“You can still be so. It’s not yet the end for you.” Sensei squeezes his shoulder. “Strength can be taught. Fortitude, resilience. Even revenge, if you wish for it.”

Shuu slowly looks up, and Sensei smiles down at him. “Whatever you may seek, I will give.

“All you need to do is stay with me.”

With a touch to the head, the gesture like the affectionate ruffling of hair, or a praising pat for an obedient child, Sensei takes away Ten’s meta ability.

Such a small, quiet thing, no blinding light or shockwaves. The only piece left of Ten in the world is within Sensei, and Shuu thinks that if he can help the Oracle in any way, protect him, then isn’t he protecting Ten, somehow? His power to heal, to fight, to change things.

“I’ll leave you to your goodbye,” Sensei says, and when he is gone, Shuu climbs onto the bed, next to Ten. He wraps himself around his friend, one last time, holding him close, feeling his faint, fading heartbeats.

When Ten is gone, Shuu is lost too, once again.

But I’ll find you. In the next world; in Heaven or in Hell; in a future life; or even just in pure blackness, somehow. Ten found him; this time it’ll be Shuu’s turn.

“I’ll do better, I’ll protect you,” Shuu whispers. “Ten, I’ll find you. I promise.”

Too many trees here, blocking Spinner’s vision, he’s running as good as blind.

“Shit. Shit!” Spinner tries to follow the roars and rumbles, but Gigantomachia is too big and too fast. One moment there, next moment not. How the hell did he even manage to get lost from a fight that is literally visible from space?

Not again. Spinner thinks, as he dashes through the forest, slashing at branches, leaping over rocks. I can’t fail him again! Where are you?

(Somewhere deep but faint in his mind, Spinner wonders about ‘again’. Doesn’t make sense, but it feels correct. For doubting their leader, for dismissing him, one or the other, both. More.)

There— in front, meters away, to the right, a boulder splitting, crumbling; ground, cracking. Spinner skids to a stop, before racing off again, fast as he could, blade ready—

Black and death white, so clear among the chaos. Found ya.

Spinner shouts.

“Shigaraki!”

Notes, again: So! Bit of a mess, my apologies!

Shuu is PastLife!Spinner; his quirk is still being a lizard, except stronger + tail. PastLife!Ten is Shigaraki/Tenko. They remember nothing, except maybe some vague inexplicable... somethings.

The Oracle/Sensei is All For One, the one and only, same as always, a bastard.

Setting is the chaotic 100+ years ago, when quirks first started appearing.

Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it! Constructive criticism always extremely welcomed.

#Shigaraki Tomura #Spinner #Iguchi Shuuichi #Shimura Tenko #fanfiction #Spinaraki #sorta lol?#nalslastworkingbraincell #nalwrites #prompt #Reincarnation AU

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pivitor · 4 years

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Be the Steven You Want to See in the World

The following is the most recent installment of my email newsletter, “Do You Know What I Love the Most?” I’m really proud of this one, and wanted it out there for y’all to read. Think of it as a free sample. If you like it, please share and subscribe to the newsletter here.

The following contains spoilers for Steven Universe and Steven Universe Future.

I don’t need you to respect me, I respect me

I don’t need you to love me, I love me

But I want you to know you could know me

If you change your mind

A little over one year ago, the above song capped off the final episode of Steven Universe, a series on Cartoon Network that began as an adorable little cartoon about a boy’s magical powers and eventually grew into a complex, emotionally rich saga about war, trauma, and identity — but one that remained accessible to viewers of all ages.

In the world of Steven Universe, its titular character stood alone. Steven’s father was a human, while his mother was a superpowered alien, both a rebel warrior and royalty in hiding; he was also, kinda, sorta, maybe the reincarnation of his mother? There was literally no other being in the universe quite like Steven, leaving the poor boy not only confused about just exactly who he was, but misunderstood by pretty much everyone he met, especially his alien “family” the Diamonds, the tyrannical rulers of the Gem Dynasty. The Diamonds refused to see Steven as anything other than his mother, eventually leading to them ripping his gemstone from his body in an attempt to revive his mother, something that could have potentially killed Steven.

Instead, though, it just revealed what viewers always knew — Steven was simply Steven, and nothing more. That revelation shattered the Diamonds’ worldview and their stranglehold on the galaxy. Steven saved the universe, but his most important victory was finally learning to love and respect himself, just as he was. Someday maybe the Diamonds would come to understand him, to see everything he has to offer simply by being himself, but if they never did, that’s okay. Steven already has the love and respect he needs without them.

It’s a sentiment that rang true for many of Steven Universe’s fans. Steven as a character, and his unique place in the universe, had always connected with many different varieties of viewers. Bi or muti-racial fans saw themselves in the way Steven was never fully at home in either Gem or human society, and queer viewers could appreciate the way that so many of Steven’s most prominent and praised qualities were ones that are traditionally viewed as feminine (as well as all the show’s more explicit pro-LGBTQ+ messages). All of them could likely find some solace in the ideas expressed in “Change Your Mind.”

I know I have. My relationship with my family is…okay. For now. I love my family dearly, we get along most of the time, and quite often even have a lot of fun just being in each other’s company, but I know there are parts of me that they’ll never be able to accept or understand. I’ve had to build a lot of walls between myself and them just to reach this tenuous equilibrium, and quite frankly, it hurts that they’ll never actually fully know who I am as a human being. When it seems overwhelming, I often think of Steven’s song. I can’t make them accept me. All I can do is love and respect myself, and be here if they ever change their minds.

If that was the end of Steven Universe’s world it would have been a fine legacy, but thankfully, the series continued on in the form of Steven Universe: The Movie and Steven Universe Future. The movie skipped ahead two years from the end of Steven Universe and, with a new villain, teased the “further adventures of Steven Universe,” but the limited series Future ended up being more of an epilogue to the original. Sure, there were a few enemies to fight, but they were largely loose threads Steven Universe left dangling. The real antagonist of Steven Universe Future ended up being Steven himself — or, more specifically, his trauma, insecurities, and sense of self.

In the original series’ extended theme song, each member of the main cast gets a chance to proclaim why they fight, and Steven’s is “I will fight to be everything that everybody wants me to be when I’m grown.” That’s always felt fairly ominous to me; that’s a Steven who doesn’t have a sense of self, of who he wants to be, who’s been devoured by his supposed duties and put aside his own emotions and concerns to make sure that everybody else is okay. Maybe that was sustainable in a time of war, but in the peaceful status quo of Future, these qualities come home to roost. Without people to help, without a world to save, who even is Steven Universe? What does he want his life to be? Steven doesn’t even begin to know how to look for answers, and is even less equipped to ask for help. He flounders more and more until he eventually breaks down.

Again, that’s something that myself and many other viewers can closely relate to. Like Steven, I was a “gifted” and sensitive child who was expected to excel, and hated to hurt people’s feelings so much that I chose to ignore my own feelings instead in order to please others. I was essentially a preacher’s son, expected to be a role model; to be anything else would be unthinkable and unacceptable. And as I got older and started to realize how different I was from everybody else, I had to protect myself by being somebody I wasn’t. I started to see myself as the problem, and tried to solve everybody else’s problems so that nobody would notice my own.

Both Steven and I tried to hide our mistakes so that our friends and family would never think poorly of us, would never know what we’d done wrong, so that we could always live up to the image of us people had in their minds. Living like that, though, means that you never learn from your mistakes, that you never get help and never grow, because you’re more concerned about hiding your mistakes than understanding why they happened and how to change them. Thankfully, Steven came to that realization much earlier in life than I did, but instead of reaching out for help, he just internalizes the mistake, blaming himself and condemning himself as a monster.

And when you think you’re a monster, you become a monster.

For most people, that’s a metaphor. In middle school, when I realized my wit gave me power, my pain caused me to lash out and briefly become a bit of a bully myself (after the second or third time I got beat up I grew out of it). Steven’s magical powers often cause things to be a bit more literal for him, though. While most gems can shapeshift on command, Stephen’s appearance has always been closely linked to his emotions; in one early episode, when Steven starts to “feel old” his body literally starts growing older and older until he almost dies of old age. Thus, when Steven starts to think of himself as a monster, he literally grows into a pink, horned, centipede-esque monster the size of a mountain.

Steven’s friends want to help — rightfully, they’re terrified for him, not of him — but their responses are also a little self-centered, albeit unintentionally so; they almost get into a contest, a game of “who hurt Steven more?” as they all blame themselves. It takes Steven’s best friend (and love), Connie, to get them to stop wallowing in self-pity and put Steven first. That shouldn’t be a surprise — while the rest of the cast has always protected Steven physically, they’ve also depended on him emotionally. From the very beginning of their relationship, though, Connie has been Steven’s greatest confidant. She forced Steven to open up to her when he stupidly tried to push her out of his life, and she’s been the only person who has consistently put Steven ahead of herself — sometimes to a fault — as Steven’s done for everyone else. And with her help, everybody Steven loves realizes that the way to save him isn’t by fighting him, but just by being there for him.

They embrace the monster-Steven in a massive group hug. They share with him all the ways Steven’s helped them, and help him realize that those same experiences allow them to relate to what Steven’s going through as well. Steven expected fear, shock, condemnation, and instead got understanding, love, and compassion, and shrinks back to himself, openly weeping in the arms of his friends and family. It’s his first step towards recovery.

It’s hard to understate how important this kind of support can be. I can think of multiple points in my life where just having people willing to be there for me moved me to tears. Knowing that there are people who will support you in matters great or tiny if only you actually bother to ask, to make yourself known to them, is powerful. Steven’s friends understood him more than he ever thought possible, and the same has proved true for me. Many times I’ve shared my past expecting to be judged or looked down on and instead only found understanding and compassion, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that kind of support has changed my life. And it changed Steven’s too.

Last weekend’s final episode of Steven Universe Future — the epilogue to the epilogue — still had a lesson or two left to impart. After a few months of therapy and help from those he loves, Steven decides to leave his home and strike out on his own so he can discover who he truly wants to be. There’s some sob-worthy goodbyes, but the major theme of the episode is that change is healthy and inevitable, and that people who love you will always be in your life no matter where you are.

It’s not necessarily a very original lesson, but it’s a vital one nonetheless. As I make (coronavirus-delayed) plans to move ahead into a new era of my own life, I can’t help but to find comfort in watching Steven do the same. Vitally, this final episode also provides a road-map to living in a post Steven Universe world. I’m losing one of my favorite shows, but I’ll always be able to revisit it, and the lessons I’ve learned will always be a part of me.

Perhaps the most important message of all, though, comes when Steven says goodbye to Peridot, a character who started out an enemy, but — through much effort from Steven — eventually became one of his closest friends and allies. As a sobbing Peridot laments that she’ll never find “another Steven” like this one, Steven tells her, “be the Steven you want to see in the world.”

If we carry any one lesson away from Steven Universe, I think it should be that one. Be the “Steven” who believes in love, in compassion and redemption, in helping those who need it, but also be the Steven who is honest about their limitations and shortcomings and allows others to help them and be there for them when they need it. In times like this, we all need that more than ever.

#pivitor #Steven Universe #steven universe future #SU spoilers #Steven universe spoilers #steven universe future spoilers

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tyranttortoise · 6 years

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Happy Birthday, Whisper!

Heeeeeyyy, today is @with-a-whisper‘s birthday, and I love her. <3 So enjoy a quick drabble. Most of it’s under a cut. I know mobile’s kinda been wonky with those lately.

Swapfell Papyrus / Reader ( SFW )

"hey darlin'. what'll it be tonight? another rum and coke, hold the rum?"

You can't help but grin as you slide onto the bar seat of you new favorite restaurant and prop your arms on the bar. You had stumbled across this place by accident one day, when you were lost on the monster side of the city and ducked inside to both get your bearings and satisfy your growling stomach.

You never expected it to be run entirely by skeleton monsters.

It had been an interesting evening, with enough excitement to bring you back on a weekly basis. Of course, besides the entertainment that came from their strong personalities both clashing yet somehow seamlessly working together, one skeleton in particular had caught your eye.

Rus.

"Not tonight," you smugly claim and pull out your ID between two fingers. Leaning over the bar in excitement, you inform him, "It's my birthday."

He plucks the ID from your fingers and studies it for a moment -- giving you a chance to study him. He wore a crisp, black dress shirt and slacks, though the top button of his shirt has been left undone and his sleeves are rolled to expose his forearms.. Both his suspenders and his loose tie are a dark orange, the same color as the bright embers glowing within his eyesockets.

His eyes flick up from your ID just in time to catch you staring, and his lazy smirk quirks up. "finally old enough by human standards to see my magic at work. congrats on another year of livin'." He hand the plastic card back to you, and you quirk a brow. That's a strange way to put it.

"Is that the monster way of saying happy birthday?"

"it is where i'm from," he replies simply, already in the process of gathering supplies behind the bar. "ok, i'm gonna go easy on ya the first drink, see what you like."

"I can handle whatever you can dish out," you reply in challenge, which causes him to chuckle.

"sure, but it's no fun if you're sloppy drunk off the first one."

You watch him mix the drink, his fingers deftly moving. He's wearing fingerless gloves, but from what you've been able to tell, the palms have a special grip to them to give him better grip on the glasses. It allowed him to do his tricks with ease; he tosses a bottle behind his back with one hand, and then catches it with the other, all without ever taking his eyes off the task at hand.

"Show-off," you mutter fondly, and he winks.

"whatever gets me tips."

On more than one occasion, you've come in to find money stuffed into the waistband of his pants or down the collar of his shirt. You didn't realize so many people would be attracted to a skeleton monster, but he draws quite the crowd -- especially on ladies' night.

As he directs that killer, carefree grin your way, slides the glass toward you, and leans in close over the bar, you realize that you're lopped right in there with them with wanting to jump his literal bones. A warm flush creeps to your cheeks before you've even had a single sip.

"it's a magic mojito."

"What's in it?" you question, picking up the glass and giving it a quick sniff. It's minty in a subtle kind of way. Upon closer inspection, you also realize that the drink is faintly glowing; at first, you had thought it was just a trick of the low lighting at the bar.

"rum, syrup, mint, lime, and sea tea. give it a sip."

Sea tea? You've never heard of it, so maybe that explains the glow. Holding his gaze, you lift the glass and take a long sip. You can't taste the alcohol, but if you had to describe the drink, it would be cool and refreshing.

"It's not what I expected," you admit as you lower the glass. "But it's tasty."

"not much alcohol in that one, but don't worry, we're just gettin' started." He smirks, turning to grab another bottle and then reach beneath the bar for more supplies. You sip on your drink, enjoying the taste.

He mixes two liquids together, pours them into another canister, and then tosses it into the air. It doesn't fall, instead levitating with a soft blue glow around it, turning end-over-end while he waves his finger in a lazy circle. Your eyes light up at the display; you've seen him use magic plenty since you've started coming here and watching him work, but it never ceases to impress you.

With a cocky smirk, he snaps his fingers and the shaker cracks open over the glass. The concoction inside is a swirl of blue and green. "murky waters," he clarifies as he pushes the drink in front of you. As an afterthought, he garnishes it with a little umbrella that doesn't quite go with the glass but makes you laugh.

You've finished your mojito, so you exchange your empty glass for the new one. "Yeah, because drinking murky water is really appealing," you quip before you take a sip. Something pops into your mouth from the drink and your eyes widen in surprise. Your teeth sink into it, and you realize that it seems to be a blueberry with quite the strong taste.

"you never know what's lurkin' in murky waters," Rus comments with an amused chuckle, watching your expression carefully. "in this case, it was a vodka-infused blueberry. that one's got echoflower wine and crabapple beer, mixed with sours."

You could definitely taste the alcohol in this one. Well, you did tell him to bring it on and step up his game. ��"Now you're just trying to get me drunk," you teasingly accuse, while he just grins and shrugs a shoulder.

"just doin' my job, darlin'."

"How long have you been bartending?" you ask, while you sip this drink at a slower pace than the mojito. You hadn't eaten much today, so your head is already starting to feel pleasantly buzzed.

"not long. jus' since m'lord wanted to open this place up." You quirk a brow at the term m'lord. You've met the owner of the establishment; he's a short skeleton with a loud mouth and an eye for perfectionism.

"A relative, right?" you ask for clarification. From what the friendliest of the waiters, Papyrus, told you, their skeleton crew consisted entirely of family.

"my bro, yeah," Rus nods.

"And you hadn't bartended before that?" You're surprised; he's a natural.

"nope. completely self-taught. guess it helps that i used to spend a lot of time at a bar. heh, only then i was watchin' a spider monster sling drinks. talk about a sleight of hand--she had six."

You'd like to see that, as much as the idea of a giant spider monster kinda-sorta creeps you out. "Do they still bartend?"

"nah, not here. they're a baker, i think. it's not far from here actually, so if you ever see muffet's bakery, head inside. though... maybe don't mention the bartending thing." Before you can press him as to why you shouldn't, he leans in on the bar again, and you find yourself leaning forward. Your second drink is half-gone, and you're feeling pretty damn good right about now. Why, you're not even embarrassed to be looking him directly in the eyes. His smirk widens, and your gaze drops to the eye-catching gold fang. Somehow, that glimmer of gold just makes him seem more appealing.

"I like your gold tooth," you blurt suddenly, catching him by surprise.

Woah, are you drunk? You're grinning like you're well on your way. You face feels hot, but you're not completely mortified.

Rus nudges your glass closer to your hand. "i'll make you all the cocktails ya want if you keep the flattery comin'. but i'm about to go on a smoke break before m'lord does his rounds. wanna come?"

One-on-one time with him without a bar between the two of you? He doesn't have to ask you twice. Nodding, you knock back the last of your drink and step off the barstool. The world lurches slightly, and your face tingles a little; alcohol always seems to catch up with people when they first stand up, you've heard. Rus gestures for you to follow him through the back, which leads through the kitchen, where an chef in a blue uniform is excitedly making entrees. Another skeleton, about the same build as Rus but clad in an orange chef's jacket. They both seem surprised to see you walking through with Rus--especially since you've snagged the crook of his elbow in your hand as he guides you through.

"RUS! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BRING CUSTOMERS THROUGH HERE!" the one in blue admonishes, though there's no real scold to his tone.

"sorry, it's a birthday tour. i've been mixin' birthday drinks, so i'm gonna take a smoke break real quick. didn't want my little human to get lonely."

The chef gasps. "IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY?! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HUMAN! WELL, SINCE IT'S A SPECIAL DAY, I CAN MAKE AN EXCEPTION!!"

"Thanks!" you call back with a wave; Rus hasn't stopped moving through, so by the time you turn back around, he's guiding you out the back door and into the alley between buildings. The air is chilly, so you find yourself pressing against his side for warmth. Thankfully, he doesn't move away. Instead, he just guides you to the wall and leans against it, fishing a cigarette and lighter from his pockets.

"I think you're the one that wanted the company," you tease, curling your fingers into the fabric of his shirt to warm them.

He lights the tip of his cigarette and it burns a dim purple. It must be magic, you realize; you've never seen any other cigarette like it. "caught me. i gotta admit, it's been nice havin' you come around so much. gives me somethin' to look forward to."

He's got a lop-sided smirk with smoke curling between his fangs that makes your heart race. You're not sure if he's just teasing you or not, but you take it as encouragement to rest your cheek on his shoulder while you watch the cigarette burn between his sharp teeth. It doesn't smell like normal smoke, either; it has an undercurrent of spice, which is pleasant in the crisp air.

"Do you smoke a lot?" you wonder aloud.

Papyrus glances over at you, the cigarette dangling from his teeth. He shrugs, though his expression morphs into a sharp-toothed smirk. "nah, that's you. smokin' hot."

You watch as smoke curls from between his teeth as he speaks, coming out in little tiny wisps. The designs it creates are mesmerizing.

"Yeah, right," you snort, though that flush is back to your cheeks. "What kind of cigarette is that?"

"it's not like the human ones up here. it's infused with magic," he explains. "it's not harmful like the human kind... though it's not like those hurt me, either. i don't exactly have lungs. doesn't mean you don't take my breath away, though." He tosses in a casual wink that has you blushing even harder and trying to bury your face in his shoulder. He only chuckles.

"...I'd like to try it."

His eyesockets widen at your announcement, and he cranes his head to get a better look at your face. "didn't take you for a smoker."

"I'm not, but... you said it's not harmful like a human cigarette, right? So what does it do?"

"hmm... it's just infused with magic," he claims, his index and third fingers coming up to cradle the cigarette between his teeth. He inhales deeply, then exhales a purple cloud through his fangs. "i dunno what kind of effect it'd have on a human. it's mostly just energy to monsters, but this kind is a calming energy."

"Well? Can I try it?" you repeat your request, undaunted, and unwind one of your hands from his arm to hold it out to him. He seems to mull it over for a moment, before he smirks and takes you hand in his, lacing your fingers together.

"ok. but let's make it interesting... and remember to try not to swallow the smoke."

You quirk an eyebrow as he takes in a deep inhale, then pulls the cigarette away from his teeth. He bends down, and his hand moves from yours to cup your cheek and draw your face to his. You can feel your heart hammering in your chest as your lips touch his teeth-- and he coaxes them apart with his fangs.

The world spins in a way that has nothing to do with the alcohol.

You feel him blow the smoke directly into your mouth, and you have to remind yourself not to inhale too deeply and swallow. Instead, you hold the smoke in--which tastes strangely sweet and a little tangy, your gaze half-lidded.

"now blow it out."

You comply, slowly forcing out a breath and watching purple smoke curl around Papyrus's features. He smirks, still so close that you can feel the heat of his breath fanning against your face. "well?"

You pause to assess yourself. "I don't feel any different, but it tasted nice."

"might be the alcohol." H e shrugs a shoulder, nonplussed. "wanna see if i taste any better?"

"Wha--" You barely have time to process the question before he drops the cigarette and grinds it out beneath his shoe, and then moves to slide one hand into your hair and the other around your waist, pulling your body against his. His teeth press back to your lips, which you instantly part in a surprised gasp, letting his tongue invade. The coalesced magic that comprises it tastes like sweet, smoky barbeque sauce, and it tingles against your tongue.

Your hands come up to steady yourself, gripping onto his tie. You've been longing for a chance to kiss him for over a month now -- but even with all the teasing and flirting that's gone on between the two of you, you never realized you'd be making out with the charismatic bartender in the back alley.

You're just drunk enough that you don't care; you're going to take advantage of the situation. So, you kiss him back with abandon, tangling tongues and pressing your body flat against his. You even stand on your tip-toes in an effort to get a better angle on the kiss.

Just as you've moved, pushing him so his back hits the wall behind you in a surprisingly daring maneuver (sober you is either going to be proud of that or mortified), you hear someone clear their throat from the back door.

You jump away, guilty, but Rus's arms don't move. He tilts his head while you hide your face in his chest.

"could you maybe not take advantage of people in dark alleys, rus?” a low voice drawls, and you peek to spot the orange-clad chef standing there with a sucker stem bobbing between his teeth. From his smirk, he seems more amused by the situation than scolding.

“where’s the fun in that, stretch?”

“i hear you, but blue said to bring the human inside. he’s got a surprise cooked up.”

Your mortification began to drain at the mention of a surprise. You pull back, and attempt to straighten Rus’s tie to no avail. Oh well. He looks sexier that way.

“thanks darlin’.”

Shit, you said that out loud. You’ll never apologize for speaking the truth, so you just grin while he ushers you back into the door Stretch is holding open. The other skeleton’s eyelights flick over you, and you feel like you’re being Judged, but Birthday You doesn’t give a fuck.

Inside, the blue-clad chef, turns to you with a broad grin. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HUMAN!!” There’s cake and puppydough ice cream on the counter. The delirious grin that’s been on your face since Rus kissed you widens to the point that your cheeks hurt, and you thank the friendly skeleton and take a bite. Rus grabs another spoon and helps himself, too.

He elbows you to get your attention, and when you glance up, he’s leaned over, ice cream smeared across his fangs.

“want some, darlin’?”

You elbow him lightly in the ribs and keep eating, while Blueberry exchanges a confused look with Stretch and Rus gives you a shit-eating grin.

#undertale drabble #swapfell papyrus #rus/reader #birthday drabble #happy birthday whisper!#so i'm weak for bartender rus #and i remembered the cigarette shotgun kink -wink wink-#drinking age based on united states standards of the legal age being 21

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lunaraen · 6 years

Note

“We really need to talk about you diving headfirst into everything.” with Durango?

Quinn is tired and the campfire is warm.

It stands out from the darker, more muted colors of theirshelter, the large but mostly empty hut made of a mix of stone bricks and packeddirt. The most colorful thing beyond the fire is the assortment of uncurledsleeping mats and messily laid out blankets surrounding the flames in a loosecircle, and even their colors are too muted for Quinn right now, too much likethe dead ashen colored trees creaking outside in the wind.

The fire’s bright and captivating, with none of the emotionsattached to looking at the sleeping pads or occasional bits of strewn out belongings.

The flames dance and the logs crackle quietly, the wood slowlybeing eaten and beginning to fold upon itself, and she prefers listening to thesmall pops and hisses rather than the wind outside, or the barely muffledarguing.

(The closer she is to the fire, the warmer and nicer it feels,the kinder the dancing flashes of orange seem, and at this point she’sconsidering hurling herself into the flames.

It doesn’t sizzle the way the lava lakes in the area do, and she’snever seen lava look as inviting as the fire does.

Only two things are holding her back, one being the logicscreaming in her head at her romanticism and her apathy about how that’s astupid idea, and the second being how Durango’s eyeing her like he thinks shemight actually do it.)

“We really need to talk about you diving headfirst intoeverything.” It’s one of the ways he has no shame, knowing who he is anddaring to tell her that anyway.

His smile lets her know he’s well aware of it too, hat tiltedjust enough so it’s covering one of his eyes.

“So says the world’s biggest hypocrite.”

This isn’t the first time they’ve had this sort of conversation,but it’s the first time Quinn’s been on the receiving end of the knowing lookand the half-disappointed tone, the first time she’s the one curling in onherself and trying not to look like a kicked, surly dog.

(Durango sounds knowing, too, and he’s got the gall to soundlike he knows anything when none of them really know what they’re doing outhere.

Helping people, sure, but they’re not heroes. Not really.

None of them are besides Theseus, that is, and even he looks toher like he thinks she knows more than he does, like they’re not working forhis all-powerful uncle and like she’s not some loner who got plucked away fromher home.)

“Yeah, but y'all expect that kind of stuff from me. Kindawhat I do.” Durango shrugs, posture and smile equally loose and unaffectedby the sharper look she shoots him. “Nobody really expects that kind ofstuff from you, Quinn, not when we’re all busy waiting for you to show us howto get through things.”

“…I didn’t ask you to follow me.”

They share a look, each of them staring the other down, Durangohalf-smirking as he raises an eyebrow and as she narrows her eyes at him. He’sdaring her to believe that as much as she’s daring him to keep pressing.

It’s not clear if she’s talking about him following her back tothe fire or everyone following her as the leader, not even to her.

“Really? Sure you didn’t.” Durango snorts, linking hisfingers behind his head as he leans against the wall. “Because I rememberbeing all gung-ho for Kate’s awesome prizes and not given half a darn about whoI had to go through to get them. You were the one who worried about the teamsthat went and got eliminated. You were the one who got people to start workingtogether, across teams and stuff.”

Quinn’s having an argument with Durango and losing.

If that doesn’t sum up her night, she’s not sure what would, butshe’s sure she’s had enough of it.

There’s not even the expected huff from him, no chuckle orsmirk, when she breaks eye contact first, staring at the fire again andignoring the way his expression softens.

“…I’m not saying I'd– like, you know I wouldn’t’ve…” He fumbles with his words, and she can’t help but glance back at him, Durango no longer looking at her as he scuffs the floor with the toe of his boot, hands stuffed in his pockets. “Heck, I don’t know if I would’ve. I’m greedy, and maybe a few nails short of a horseshoe. All hat, no cattle, that sorta thing. Kate picked me to just be funny, I guess, but… but I don’t even know if I would’ve tried helping River any if it meant getting to the prize first, if you didn’t knock some sense into me, and there ain’t much funny about that, is there?”

“Durango…”

“I’m not… I’m not looking for pity. Or trying to make itabout me.” He looks back up at her, and she shouldn’t be as surprised bythe finger jabbed in her direction as she is. “‘cause it’s about you, Quinn. You’re the one who got usworking together. Because of you, we’re friends. Otherwise, I’d… I’d havejust tried to screw everyone over and go home with the goods.”

She can’t say anything to that, nothing useful, so she doesn’t.

They butted heads a lot at first, but she can’t say she knowswhat he was really like as a person before this all started. Given how he actedwhen Kate first dragged them into her games, maybe he really would’ve.

He’s better now, but they both know that, so there’s no point insaying it either.

“So leave the being stupid thing to me. You’re supposed tobe the smart one, and you’re scaring everybody.” The guilt gnawing onQuinn’s insides begins to twist, her stomach clenching at the reminder.“…I’m not saying you can’t be angry, though, or whatever it is that’sgot you all fired up. You’ve got a right to that. What you don’t got a right tois jumping right into everything and then snapping at everybody for it, forbeing worried about you, like we did something; if we did, you ain’t told uswhat yet.”

“You guys didn’t do anything. Not really. I’m just tiredand sick of all these close calls.”

That didn’t stop her from diving into a den of spiders alone andyelling at Toby afterwards when he tried to make sure she was okay.

(The spiders dropped plenty of string, a pile of it tucked awayand half-forgotten in her backpack. They need more string for rope, and theyneeded more rope after today’s near disastrous rescues, where nobody was hurtbut everyone came pretty close because they were shorter on supplies than theyfirst thought.

Even with the strong breeze, Durango still smells like smoke,but that might be the fire messing with her. It’s hard to blame their campfirefor how the side of his hat is singed, though, not when he was the one danglingover lava.

Maybe they saved the people they needed to and sent them home fine, but the entire thing was their shakiest one yet, and it really shouldn’t have been with how much Zeus can do. Quinn and her friends are putting themselves in danger daily to save people when Zeus probably could’ve done it with the flick of a lever or a few button presses.

And maybe Toby just meant the best when he tried to make sureshe was okay, spotting her split lip first, but Quinn was tired and angry andeven if the anger’s left her now, she’s so tired. She barely remembers tellingthe others to just drop it and leave her alone.)

“…Quinn, how many friends does a jerk have?”Durango’s smile sharpens. “And drinking buddies don’t count; everybody’s ajerk when they’re drinking.”

That’s not quite how it works, but Durango seems like the typeto always get in over his head, even when he’s drinking.

Maybe especially when he’s drinking.

(That’s a friend thing, isn’t it? Knowing stuff about yourfriends like what they’re like when they’re drinking?)

“Sounds like a joke. How many friends does a jerk have?”

“None.” If it’s a joke, it’s a poor one, but Quinnsmiles at his answer anyway and at how he jabs his thumb at himself. “See,I know that ‘cause I’m a jerk. But you aren’t. You’ve never been the jerk,Quinn.”

There’s a second part to that, one she can almost feel and onehe doesn’t say.

So whystart now?

She doesn’t answer it, swallowing as she looks back at thegrowing, shimmering flames, watches the curling plumes of smoke. None of theothers have come into the shelter since Quinn stormed away and started the fire,and while it’s late, it won’t be properly dark for at least another hour.

“Did they send you over, or…?”

He laughs, then, more than the chuckles and huffs she’s beengetting. It’s not his warmest, or even fullest, but it’s a bark of a laugh andit helps her shoulders unknot.

“Heck no. Kate wanted to talk to you first, but Toby kindasnapped at her after you left, so Theseus’s been trying to help Zed get them tosimmer down. They’re not really fighting or anything, though. Just a littlesnippy, and you’re kind of scary when you’re angry.” Durango rubs the backof his neck before frowning down at the ground, muttering more to himself thanto her when he continues, tone more nonchalant. “There’s gotta be a way tosay that better.”

“What?”

“Theseus. Long name, in’t it?” The way Durango says thename is off, a little slowed down and spaced out to make his point, and Quinncan’t help but smile as she briefly copies the tone.

“Durango.” He blinks at her before his expression tugsinto a twist of a scowl and a grin, teeth showing even as he huffs. She can’thelp but snicker as she starts speaking normally again. “Your name’s justas long as his.”

“Yeah, but I can’t slur his like you could mine. Mine rollsoff the tongue; part of the charm. His? It’s too darn clunky.”

“Quitter.”

It’s yet another unexpected turn in the conversation, but it’sone that doesn’t make her feel awful.

“Hey, it…” Any steam Durango has leaves him then,the frown replaced by a small half-smile and an equally tired chuckle.“Yeah, I guess that sounds like quitter talk. Eh, whatever. I’ll figure itout; it’s not like he’s going anywhere anytime soon.”

Because they’re in this together, like they have been sinceQuinn took up Zeus’s offer, and they’re not going to stop looking to Quinn toguide them anytime soon either.

They’re not going stop worrying about her either.

She sighs, legs relaxing as they slump to the floor, one of herboots twitching back and forth as her feet stay crossed. Her palms are pressedflat against the floor, one hand partly pressing down on her sleeping pad whileher fingers trace the grout between the bricks.

“I should go back and apologize to everybody, right?”

“Probably.” Durango pauses, worrying his lower lipbetween his teeth before he pushes up his hat with his thumb, both eyes lookingat her. “You might want to explain it to them. We know you’re human,Quinn, and we’re your friends. We want to help you out too.”

It’s the nicest thing she never expected him to say, in partbecause she’s realizing she never even considered that.

Quinn’s gotten fed up with being the one constantly looked to,but asking for help in return is… a surprisingly obvious solution that shouldnot just be coming to her now. Maybe she doesn’t want to be weak when they’reall depending on her, but she’ll take looking weak over yelling at and hurtingthe people close to her.

Quinn hates it when she’s her own worst enemy.

“I’ll try to keep that in mind.” With that and a drawn out sigh, she pushes herself to her feet, rakes her ponytail over her shoulder so it’s resting against her back again, and glances at the still crackling fire. “Hey, do you mind watching the fire for me?”

Durango nods, shirt catching a bit as he slides his back down the wall, one leg bent and his hat tilted over his eye again as he sits, fingers looping behind his head once more.

It’s a lazy pose, and not one that should be reassuring.

“I think I can handle that.”

#My Stuff #fanfiction #cotsi #motgi #Challenge of the Spooky Isles #Mystery of the Greek Isles #Anonymous

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