#but this is still something i am quite critical of about DE

[unhinged-prosody]

None of the Disco Elysium female characters are friends, or even supportive of each other much really, and that saddens me quite a bit, really.

#these women are so lonely #a lot of the male characters either come in pair #or are part of a larger group #but I cant think or remember two female characters that show support of each other #they just keep stabbing each other in the back or antagonize each other #i dont want to go all bechdel test here but #but this is still something i am quite critical of about DE #disco elysium

[mermaidsirennikita]

Louis de Pointe du Lac, as originally written, could be regarded as one of lit's most famous "also rans", someone who was originally positioned as Thee Tragic Figure of the series, only to be almost immediately superseded both in the readers' and the author's minds with Lestat. Like, you know Louis because of the original book, but Lestat is the one everyone talks about, Lestat drives the rest of the series, Lestat has all the best lines.

And the movie, as much as I personally don't like it, only sort of dug this further into the pop cultural understanding of the story. Brad Pitt is at his most "I am relying on pretty" boring and sulky; when there is a performance, it's largely annoying. And Tom Cruise... I mean, it's literally nothing next to what Sam Reid does in my mind, but it was at least very off-brand for him at the time, and he was doing SOMETHING, and he (and Kirsten Dunst) have the most iconic Moments, the camp, the arguably most memorable part of the movie (the very end with the Sympathy for the Devil cover playing us off).

So it's honestly SUCH a testament to the innovation of the show's writing and the brilliance of Jacob Anderson's performance that Louis has been reinvented, not only as a compelling protagonist, but as a character that is EASILY as complex and multilayered as more traditionally antiheroic/villainous types like Lestat and Armand and Claudia. He's more than the beautiful, tragic object of Lestat and Armand's affections, he's more than the guy telling us the story.

Louis is self-loathing and self-aggrandizing; he's victimized by Lestat, and he manipulates Lestat, very aware of his own emotional hold over him (might we note how much agency Louis had over Claudia's turning, and how Lestat in no way would've done that if not for Louis... and that act was arguably one of the most selfish in the series, if emotionally understandable). He's controlled by Armand, yet we get hints that he's actually quite dangerous and perhaps in some sort of self-delusion about just how dangerous he is (and Assad certainly plays Armand like he's nervous as fuck about Louis knowing the truth--and I don't think that's JUST about the possibility of Louis leaving him once he finds out).

Louis tells himself that he loved Claudia more than anything and that she was his "spark in the dark", when we see that in reality their relationship deteriorated over time and continued to do so, even after the person who was seemingly a wedge in their relationship was vanquished. We see hints, perhaps, that Claudia was no more the ideal daughter in his mind than Lestat was the ideal lover.

And that last scene in the premiere? When we're not sure who the "you" is? Sad and kind of horrifying, too. Because like--what will Louis do to Claudia to further his own love and obsessions? Who does Louis prioritize more--Claudia, Lestat, Armand? Maybe none of the above. Maybe himself and what or who he thinks will stave off his own loneliness, his need for love and validation and, yes, power.

None of this is a criticism of the character. The show already did something SO good and SO smart by turning Louis from a white slave owner to a Black man with money and social standing, still so held back by the laws and environment of his day. Vampirism gave him agency, yet the show, in season one, showed the potential for Louis to still be the perpetual tragic victim (in episode five especially). And maybe they'll still slip up and do that.

But increasingly, with the reveal in the s1 finale and the s2 premiere, I think we're getting the implication that the thing Louis could be protecting himself from mentally (with some help from Armand--I don't think Louis's memory issues are all Vampire Magic, though) is something horrible that he did. A choice he made. Because Louis does have agency, and the narrative allows him to be someone with conflicted desires and a complicated sense of self. Someone who doesn't love PRETTILY. Someone who is manipulated and manipulates.

Like, I've joked about him being this kind of like vampiric Helen of Troy because of the allure he holds for powerful figures like Lestat and Armand, but I also think it's so powerful to explore the way that Louis uses that appeal and ALSO makes fucked up decisions on his own because he is... into being adored, frankly. Even if the people who adore him also hurt him. He gets caught up in his own romanticized retellings of his life story, whether heartfelt or tragic, because in those retellings he can pretend that he had no choice, he had no ability to say otherwise.

But like--Louis could have stopped that woman from being decapitated, potentially. Louis didn't have to walk away from human affairs. He chose to do so, just like he chose to beg Lestat to turn Claudia. Just like he chose to deny her Lestat's true death.

And I think there's like, an attempt to reckon with this in the unreliable narration of the books, but I also think that this is so dependent, in Anne Rice's version, on spinning to Lestat... That Louis's culpability and untruths are overshadowed by his Everything. Here, the story lets us soak in Louis's mind, and Jacob Anderson's performance really seals that. I find it so smart.

#interview with the vampire #one of the only shows that gets me excited enough to meta rant these days #anyway jacob anderson i love your work #(to be clear i love everyone's work this is truly one of the strongest casts on tv)

[moonlitempty]

Shaun of the Dead (2004), Dir. Edgar Wright, Starring Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost.

A romantic comedy, with zombies.

For a while now, I have kept movie entries in my personal journal, it feels like a tangible way to commemorate and preserve a movie I feel deserves such attention, and even before I started that habit, I was intimidated by the entries for The Cornetto Trilogy.

All three movies were just so special and influential to me, and physical writing has a tendency to, y’know, get fucked up, so it was a struggle figuring out a way to both preserve my love for these films on my journal, and make it look mildly cute. Safe to say, I think I’ve achieved said balance.

This is the entry for Shaun! I tried to feature a lot of blood splatter/bloodstain motifs, in accordance to the movie obviously, and you might think the b&w colour scheme of the printed images was intentional, but the sad and almost hilarious truth is that it was a limitation! My printer is a laser printer, and those can’t do colours. So I tried to reach a monochromatic style with these entries, where I highlight one single colour that I think is reminiscent of the movie. For Shaun, it was obviously red.

I am not a movie critic (even if I like to think I am), so the personal thoughts section of the entry may come off as shallow or void of detail, I’m sorry about that! But if we’re honest, at this point in time, my love for these films should not be a point of doubt, even if my written thoughts are lax at best.

I remember the first time I actually *heard* of Shaun of the Dead, it was via a kill count video on youtube, and even then I was intrigued by it, all the love and praise I had heard directed towards it was something that drew me in, I didn’t actively search out the movie just yet, I just kept it as a mental memo that I’d get to later.

Then, on one magical night, and by pure fate, I stumbled upon the film on cable TV, I was channel hopping and seeing the title on the screen made my eyes light up, this was my chance to see what all the *fuzz* was about. So I didn’t hesitate and I changed the channel from VH1, to experience the Shauning. My life changed at that instant.

Shaun of the Dead was the most charming and charismatic film I had seen up until that point, I had heard about how flawlessly it was edited and how well every single joke landed, but experiencing said praises in the flesh was phenomenal, and Simon’s role as Shaun was instantly memorable and you could say he was the thing that hooked me in. He was so cynical and snarky, yet caring and loving of the band of misfits he was surrounded by. Though Nick as Ed was also an incredibly charming experience.

I remember just being completely entranced by everything surrounding the film, the movie kept going on and on and I kept finding stuff to love about it. The fact that it was clearly a movie that didn’t take itself too seriously as to be a de facto horror movie, yet it still conveyed emotions in a serious and profound way just really stuck a chord with me, and I’m sure everyone already praises this particular quality, but the quick, snappy and dynamic directing and editing choices characteristic of Edgar Wright are just lovely.

They manage to make the movie feel novel and it hooks you in, without risking making it feel overwhelming and too distracting. And I haven’t even mentioned the score and songs featured in the movie! While the film is perfect on a purely visual standpoint, the accompanying music on every scene elevates the overall feel of the scene you happen to be watching. Whether it be the mundane feeling of Shaun’s daily life, or the dread of the slow realisation that something ain’t quite right in London, or the inspiration and undying will to keep surviving and overcoming.

Frankly, I could go on and on and on about how much I adore this film, about how much it helped me deepen the love I have for filmmaking, and how much it even inspired to purchase filmmaking. But let’s be blunt, you guys probably don’t want to read my ramblings any longer, (but if you do for any reason, do let me know! I love feeling like my opinion matters in any way).

So, Shaun of the Dead! If I could, I’d screen you to any person who even breathes in my direction, I love you so much and I’m sure I’ll rewatch you as soon as I get the TV to myself.

10/10.

#the cornetto trilogy #simon pegg #nick frost #edgar wright #shaun of the dead #journal #movie journal #movie #writing #this is a soliloquy at this point #incoherent ramblings #ramblings #screaming at the void #talking to myself

[everything-is-crab]

Straight/bi women literally don't see lesbians as women due to their lack of attraction to men.

Sex is the division of reproductive labor that men choose to exploit. Gender is the social construct to support and facilitate the exploitation and homophobia is literally a product of that system. Don't wanna use the word "comphet" because the word is quite debated, but people are expected to choose a partner of the opposite sex. It's not like lesbians are just liberated. If you don't wanna admit lesbians are also exploited on the basis of their reproductive ability means that you don't think they're women.

Idk why some people like to argue that just because *some* lesbians in more liberal countries are able to live a life without pregnancy that means lesbians as a class are unempathetic to women of other sexualities in matters of reproductive exploitation. I live in India and I cannot imagine making that statement as a bisexual woman. The way lesbians here are forced into marriage and to give kids to their family. Corrective rape is a thing here. If you're going to use your race as an argument against lesbians then also have the guts to think from the pov of lesbians from your race (she is mixed white-Indian). This is the lived reality of most lesbians in the world. They're not less impacted by any form of misogyny. This is why radfems must introspect and criticize their own work first before blindly worshipping authors like Simone de Beauvoir, whose ideas you have internalized. Just like lesbophobes today, she was bitter against lesbians, thought they hindered feminist movement cause she thought they were some class of "liberated" women. The sentiment is still very alive today.

I highly doubt that she (if yk who I am talking about then yk) and other women who agreed with her have given birth themselves, or plan to anytime soon. In my opinion, a country that's less homophobic is also relatively less misogynistic. So lesbians there aren't more liberated anymore than het or bi women. Just like them, you have as much choice to remain childfree and never be pregnant. The social pressure, retaliation etc is something lesbians do share with us.

Straight women think and say the worst things about each other. Give each other advice on how to lose weight after pregnancy and to look attractive again to their husbands again. Give advice to stitch to be "tight" again. Disapprove certain style of dressing while on or after pregnancy.

However, all such behaviors these women inflict on each other is called internalized misogyny. In case of lesbians tho, they're accused of "behaving like men" when lesbians have no power, no social institution to force straight women into pregnancy or any of the things related to it. When lesbians are themselves forced in het marriages and childbirth. You cannot claim they're like "men". This is such an insult to the lesbian and bi women activists in my country who have made female only orgs within LGBT cause neither male members of LGBT nor het women understand the unique position of wlw community in society.

#lesbophobia #not gonna disclose url cause she's painting herself as victim now and calling anyone who criticizes a bully #no matter how polite or civil you're being

[wrathofbloodeye]

dennis nilsen letters: part two

nilsen wrote to another unnamed penpal on september 4th, 2003. while the letter found in this article is seemingly ordinary, i think there are some interesting insights on his personality to consider throughout it.

he begins with his criticisms on the prison system’s procedures on receiving money. he then begins to talk about a documentary on myra hindley, who killed five children in england with her lover, ian brady.

“I watched the Channel Five documentary on Myra Hindley last night. One suspects that any programme with “Monster” in its title is not to be taken seriously as offering any new insight into the subject. TV journalism remains too set in its populist formulas. It revealed no new analysis or enlightening information. It hinged itself on that famous ‘demonic’ photograph of her taken at the police station. That saved millions the bother of ever having to think deeply about her ever again.”

this excerpt gives us insight on his opinions towards true crime material. in another letter circulating around, he writes to another person saying “my singular observation on crimes crackers is that they are mostly crackers.” i admit, i share the same opinion on the title of the documentary. the word monster is a reoccurring word in the titles of many serial killer documentaries and dramas. two examples would be the series invisible monsters: serial killers in america and monster: the jeffrey dahmer story. the use of the word can become overused and repetitive, which simplifies the unique details of an individual and their case.

my favorite part of this letter is towards the end.

“Scientists tell us that an asteroid might strike the earth on 21st April 2014. If I’m still around, I’ll look out for it as the end of the world is something not to be missed. Friendly greetings as always, Des. PS: What do you think of the new Bull Ring development?”

some of nilsen’s personality is revealed through these few lines. he seems quite pretentious even in his letters. not surprising, given his narcissistic personality disorder diagnosis. he is intelligent and provides thorough descriptions for his opinions (whether they make sense or not). and then he just out of nowhere, adds on something completely irrelevant and a little bizarre. seems like he had the attention span of a squirrel here, but it was probably just an attempt to make the recipient laugh. honestly, i found it amusing. it truly feels like you are reading the letter of a pretentious old man that likes to joke around.

i’m not sure if this next excerpt is from this same letter, but the article mentions it nonetheless, as it connects with earlier topics.

"I serve my time as an extreme example of human contradiction in the wide continuum of human nature and its actions. I am not contained, mute and immobile in a glass jar as some kind of eternal official specimen of popular 'evil'. As I am alive I must live as a man. I seek only to reach out to engage with the human dimension which is anathema to rigid officials of the retribution machine who are content with the official view of men like me as eternally and evilly sub-human and monstrous."

i believe he means he is a complex person who should not be simply categorized as evil, just as myra was. he deeply wants people to understand him less as a criminal and more as a person. he feels he is interpreted through a lens that ultimately deems him as evil, and that opinion is therefore passed on to others without further thought like a machine. des honey this is a difficult thing to ask for, since you killed multiple innocent lives.

i have two opinions about this that coexist, even though they are conflicting. this makes a lot of sense, while making no sense at all. his opinions and meanings are there, but it’s overshadowed by fancy syntax that does not always fit. especially that last run on sentence, as it takes him a long time to get to the point. he’s right about being contradictory- he desperately wants to be seen, but toys around with the idea more than outright demands it. his autobiography in its draft form included hours of tapes and 6,000 pages of notes. he forces people to understand him and will drag time out to do it. however, he is too high up on his own hill to level with everyone else.

his intentions may come in bits and pieces, but we may never have a clear understanding of who dennis nilsen truly was.

also, if anyone has a clear photo of the letter, feel free to share!

#in relevance of his birthday being today #dennis nilsen #true crime #tcc #hope i made sense #more than him at least LOL

[resplendentgoldenwings]

I haven't been on tumblr much these days but on this Sunday past I realized I had been seeing a lot of post about IWTV, both the book and the 1994 movie. And I was like why am I seeing all this IWTV on my dash? Is there a new movie or something? I'd heard about the plans for a TV series a couple years back and completely forgotten about that.

Anyway I decided to check the tags out of curiosity and spent the next 48 hours utterly obsessed.

There's the trailer I saw if for some reason you still haven't seen it yet. Now I used to love the VC back in the day. The books were fun, erotic, and Anne Rice was a pretty good writer if a bit verbose at points and Lestat is a fantastic character. If you don't know the VC, The Vampire Chronicles are the main reason vampires with like human emotions and souls have become so popular.

So I spent the next 48 hours devouring everything I could for this new show. If I wasn't working or doing something that needed to be done I was scouring the internet for any and everything to do with AMC's Interview With the Vampire and I have some thoughts.

First I am super excited for this show, like forreal, y'all have no idea. The shit looks amazing, the directing, the costuming, the setting all of it looks on point. Things have been changed, but the spirit remains the same. Like look at that trailer and tell me everything important and essential about Louis Pointe Du Lac and Lestat De Lioncourt has not been captured.

But that said I want to talk a bit about some of the changes that have been made.

So in case you're wondering that picture of Jacob Anderson is Louis and yes he is black. Now this caught me a little off guard, like in the span of two seconds I learned that there was a new IWTV show and Louis was being played by that guy above. I immediately found the change intriguing.

That's Brad Pitt as Louis Pointe Du Lac in the 1994 film. He spent most of the movie being sad and beautiful and worming his way further into all of our teenaged hearts. He also very much does fit the description of Louis in the books, so, of course, some people are mad about this.

This isn't surprising. If you've been watching tv over the past 15 years, ever since Olivia Pope banged a president and Empire spent like 7 seasons as Fox's #1 show networks have been trying with varying degrees of success to put POC, especially Black people in more leading roles and some people really don't like that.

As a black woman I have mixed feelings about it. I have zero problems with character's having their races changed for the sake of diversity unless, of course, the character's race shapes the story in some important way. Which is why I paused when I found out about the casting. Louis Pointe Du Lac was a slave owner back in 1769, a wealthy one with two plantations.

There would have been a few Black Americans who owned slaves back then and even fewer that got rich from it. But already problematic Jacob Anderson playing a Louis that owned slaved would be especially distasteful. So instead the setting is changed. It's 1910 and Louis is a brothel owner.

Now some of the critics have used the idea of Louis as a pimp as some type of gotcha moment and I get it. They made this character Black and promptly made him a criminal??? Not quite, much like slavery in 1769 in 1910 New Orleans it wasn't illegal to own a brothel or do sex work.

So he's not a criminal and he's apparently grown extremely wealthy from running brothels. That doesn't make it okay, of course, but I imagine that's kind of the point. In this instance owning brothels could be considered analogous owning plantations. They're not the same but ya' know tomato, tomato.

Louis and his family, siblings and parents look like they are doing very well in the trailers. It's important that Louis have money because as he starts to doubt Lestat's feelings for him Louis comes to believe that Lestat is with him for the money. Oh Louis!

Now the usual suspects aren't the only ones bothered by the idea of Louis being a brothel owner some find it genuinely uncomfortable to have a sympathetic character doing bad things and some genuinely feel that it plays into a stereotype, which is part of why I want to offer my opinion.

Characters aren't meant to be perfect not even the POC ones. Characters need depth, they need flaws, they need vices and damn it when you change a character's race to diversify a story some things can and should change but the essence, the spirit of the character should stay the same.

He can't be an aspiration trophy, mortal Louis needs to acquire his wealth in an exploitative way, he needs to be a flawed character with room to grow.

You may still be uncomfortable with idea and certainly everyone is entitled to their opinion but it's flaws and vices that make characters relatable and beloved, its flaws and vices that make them feel real and human and its their flaws and vices that maybe sometimes teach something about ourselves.

Other Changes

Louis also seems to be somewhat more assertive and have more agency. I think that's smart. The other thing that bothered me with the race change was the already slanted power dynamic between the two being that much worse. To do this day in the African-American community one of the biggest concerns for us in interracial dating is the social power dynamic. Racism can become that much more dangerous if you're involved with an abusive white person. And well we all know what Louis says about his relationship with Lestat...

I do also think that Louis being Black and successful would simply have to be tougher more assertive person. I don't imagine he inherited the brothels and generational wealth and even if he did it's going to be a fight for a black family to keep that kind of wealth in 1910.

So with all these changes you might be wondering how can he possibly be the same. Well in many ways he's not but when you consider Louis' purpose in the story as a character, his core, his ability to drive the narrative home all Louis Pointe Du Lac needs to do is grieve, feel guilty and ashamed about things that were out of his control, be a bit of a liar and be really, really pretty in the face. From the trailers it certainly looks to me like Jacob Anderson's Louis is all of those things.

#Interview with the vampire #The Vampire Chronicles #AMC iwtv #Loustat #louis pointe du lac #lestat de lioncourt #Jacob Anderson #Sam Reid #louis x Lestat #amc interview with the vampire #amc the vampire chronicles

[i-platypus]

Numbers 1, 3, and 33.

Thank you!!!!

(1) What are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

Ooooh boi, heavy-stuff time about loss:

* I first moved across country when I was 10 years old. I discovered that not everyone who purports to be your friend is sincere. It was a deeply lonely feeling. BUT I have since learned how to hold on to those friendships that make my life better, and how to let go of the ones that no longer do (98% of the time -- it's still hard, of course, to say goodbye).

* My father passed away from a sudden cardiac event when he was still considered quite young for a heart attack (age 55, 10 years ago this July)... I love(d) him more than words can ever express, but he did stop taking care of himself as he aged and it still feels like such a waste, since he had beat leukemia just four years prior. PLEASE eat well, move your body, and practice self care (de-stress, don't give all of yourself to work, etc.) -- you do really never know when you won't be around anymore 💛🌹💛 and express love every day (love in any form, of course, for my aro friends).

THAT SAID...

* I fell in love with someone back in college who was everything to me. We were friends first, and I felt very close to him, but because I am Ace/Demi (but didn't recognize that yet), I never knew how to show/tell him that I love(d) him. Well, things got weird, the friendship (and my heart) broke... and, I guess we're pretty much estranged from each other now? We still share a friend group, so I see him on rare occasions, but losing that... situationship.... taught me the mission-critical-importance of communication. If you feel something, do your damndest to articulate it -- because regretting your past silence is its own form of madness; you are likely to hear the words you never said play out in your head over and over again, so you may as well spit it out.

(3) 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

I technically answered this already, but now I'ma gonna pick three MORE favorite films:

(It’s so stupid and over-the-top, I just love it)

Casablanca (99% perfect film that I can quote all the way through)

The Princess Bride (I am not immune.)

(33) Do you have any hobbies?

I'm a singer, so if I'm not bursting into song at the drop of the proverbial hat, there's something very wrong.

I also play DnD, write short stories and fanfic, and I will go paddleboarding when it gets warmer up here in Washington 🌤

🩵🩵🩵🩵🥂

#ask answered #ask meg #thanks for playing! #why don't we get drunk and queue

[thehomestuckinfection]

i made some rain world iterator ocs and ive been posting broadcasts with them in a discord but im posting it here now

[LIVE BROADCAST] - PRIVATE Triple Blazing Sunsets, Reflections in the Dark RitD: Another cycle of working towards something that truly only changes stuff for ourselves. TBS: Listen, You can complain about this stuff every cycle if you want, But is it really needed? We don't have to dwell on this fact every cycle. RitD: What if I were to stop my systems from working, Could I terminate myself by disabling my cleaning? TBS: You know you cant. Every neuron and smaller than that in your structure wont let you, And I think we don't need to think about these piece of rot thoughts. RitD: Could you at least think about it? What If the way out of these endless cycles is our structures failing! Maybe that is the solution! That is the triple affirmative TBS: Triple affirmative these neurons, Don't go broadcasting that rot, Not everyone in the area is gonna agree with your dumb thoughts, It wont be a fun time and its strange how happy you are about self termination. RitD: ...

[LIVE BROADCAST] - PUBLIC GROUP [CRITICALISSUECD] Compulsive Dissonance, Reflections in the Dark, Triple Blazing Sunsets, Diverging Echoes CD: Critical Issue, A pink creature entered my chamber somehow, It was armed with a piece of rebar with flux condenser coils attached to it that it threw at me, I was not focused and I was unable to dodge it fully, My left eye and left signal receiver were heavily damaged, The electric reaction the rebar created via impact may have damaged my systems, The beast that did this left immediately after I expressed anger, Probably better for it as I did not react well to the events of it. TBS: That sounds horrible, I hope with all of my neurons you may still run well and without issue RitD: Well even if dissonance was damaged, Is it truly a bad thing? TBS: You do not need to bring that rotting theory of yours into this conversation. TBS: Especially in a time like this, where one of our own group is damaged DE: Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry that happened to you dissonance! DE: Perhaps there is a way to make repairs? DE: Actually. Could you further describe the beast that did this to you CD: Of course echoes, It was a pink pipe cleaning mammal, slightly fluffy on the top of its head, I am unsure how it gained access to the rebar that it did, It seemed to use some sort of electric jump on its way out of my chamber RitD: Wait.. That? Did it really travel all that way? DE: Did what travel all that way? RitD: I remember modifying a beast to see if something could use electricity as a power source! It was a lot of cycles ago so I wonder if it really did make its way there. CD: So this is your fault!!!!??? RitD: I cannot deny making the beast, However it is surely not my fault for what it has done! CD: Do not talk to me further, This is our last interaction. DE: Dissonance, I know you are angry but come on... CD: I am being kind in this scenario as I am making an assumption that my systems have not been critically damaged, In the scenario they were I would have to prepare a "Revenge" of sorts. TBS: I am not exactly proud of you either reflections, There was other things you could have been doing, Why create a creature with such powers if it does not get us closer to anything. RitD: You do not understand me sunsets, Perhaps it will stay that way.

[LIVE BROADCAST] - PRIVATE Diverging Echoes, Compulsive Dissonance DE: I'm not quite sure what sunsets and reflections problems are, I think the actions reflections did were certainly not the best. CD: Can we not. DE: Ah, Yes. I apologize. I would not want to bring this up further if its a sore subject CD: No, Its just.. I don't want to die. DE: Of course, who would? CD: But do you not understand? All we work towards is to die, Our great solution is to find a way for everything to die, Why must we want things to die? Why must I be built and programmed this way? DE: Well. Dissonance, I'm sure the A signal interruption has occurred, The broadcast can continue - [SIGNAL INTERRUPTION BROADCASTER: CD] CD: Stop! I don't need you to actually respond. DE: My apologies dissonance, Please say as you wish and I will listen. CD: Listen echoes, You need to think for yourself more. DE: Hm? CD: All you do is agree with me, It doesn't feel real. DE: I.. DE: My. Apologies? CD: No, I cannot continue to take my anger out on you, Servants is how we were built. I know you were built more recently than me as well, I know those horrible THINGS just made us more and more servant-like. DE: I A signal interruption has occurred, The broadcast can continue - [SIGNAL INTERRUPTION BROADCASTER: CD] CD: I think its for the better I end this broadcast CD: I will talk to you later.

#thi rain world thi #rain world oc #its a lot of fun writing these broadcasts #more to come maybe #rain world

[whatthecrowtold]

#unhallowedarts - Baneful Books

Harry Clarke "Mask of Queen Bersabe" for "Selected Poems of Algernon Charles Swinburne" (1928)

CHRYSOTHEMIS. I am the queen of Samothrace. God, making roses, made my face         As a rose filled up full with red. My prows made sharp the straitened seas From Pontus to that Chersonese         Whereon the ebbed Asian stream is shed. My hair was as sweet scent that drips; Love’s breath begun about my lips         Kindled the lips of people dead.

In a way, Harry Clarke was something of the spirit that negates from Goethe’s “Faust”, the bible of demonic scholarship, hubris and melancholic yearning for something the world is simply unable to provide. “Faust”, brilliantly captured in Clarke’s symbolist illustrations from 1925, giving the German classic a dark, decadent undercurrent, a stark contrast to its reading in what had become of Goethe’s Germany under Bismarck’s epigones, the empire that Clarke saw ending in 1918 and about to return as unholy Wiedergänger in the guise of the Third Reich. Clarke, the celebrated stained glass artist who tinted churches across Ireland in deep blue tones with his fantastical windows and caused scandal by annotating them with saucy little details and the best regards from Caravaggio. Clarke, like Goethe’s artsy Mephistopheles, thusly became Part of the Power that would Always wish Evil, and always works the Good. At the very least in an artistic sense.

Harry Clarke for Goethe's "Faust" (1925)

Frühvollendet, early-ripened, Clarke still had the bittersweet misfortune of being born too late for fully participating in the magnificent decadence of the fin-de-siècle. Sharing the almost ubiquitous frail health with one of the morbidly belle algolaniac epoch’s luminaries, Algernon Swinburne, Clarke’s last published work as illustrator illuminated selected poems of the Victorian scandal poet for the Jazz Age – and later generations, quite as brilliantly as his take on “Faust”. Clarke died of tuberculosis in 1931 at the age of 41.

Harry Clarke - another congenial one for Swinburne from 1928

Swinburne himself managed to survive his myriads of illnesses, rather unhealthy habits and other misfortunes until he reached the age of 72 and had very much calmed down by then, the former teller of taboo topics, and occupied himself quite successfully with literary scholarship, criticism and not being awarded with the Nobel prize. Six times in a row.

Harry Clarke - another one from the "Selected Poems of Algernon Charles Swinburne" (1928)

Back in the day, though, in the 1860s and 70s, Swinburne sang of what was seen as sexual deviance, of godlessness and death. Paired with the long 19th century’s love for historical fiction. And plain Victorian myth-loving. Only those, though, that were considered somewhat seedy, goes without saying. Like the tales of heroines of antiquity told in “The Masque of Queen Bersabe”, who, looking through the eyes of Swinburne – and Clarke’s – not at all out of place in Berlin of the Weimar Republic.

Art and poetry of both can be admired in the facsimile of Harry "Selected Poems of Algernon Charles Swinburne" (1928) linked below (admittedly in... rather manageable scan quality)

#unhallowedarts #dark poetry #dark art #dark academia #dark aesthetic #gothicliterature #gothic aesthetic #harry clarke #algernon charles swinburne

[inventforgood]

My idea is that cDNA libraries of the mRNA from humans of different ages, eg 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, 22 years, 30 years, 40 years, 55 years, 70 years and 85 years (but practically it would be necessary to just take the samples that became available!) could be constructed or acquired. They could also be acquired from specific “aging critical” tissues/organs eg endothelium, cardiac, pulmonary, kidney, brain etc. The cDNA libraries could be compared by constructing microarrays (that is my dated knowledge but today it could probably be done computationally).

What would that give us? By the differences in the transcriptome between the different age cohorts it would show the difference between aged tissues and young tissues.

Of course, how these differences arose is AS a result of the epigenetic processes, but the differences themselves ARE the results of the epigenetic processes and (in some way which I am not able to imagine right now) may lead to approaches to discover more about the epigenetic processes themselves, which is your interest. Please forgive me if I am telling you things that are already second nature to you, but there is more to my proposal which is in fact quite simple really although very broad in scope and ambitious in outcome.

The differences mentioned above would be either the absence of specific mRNA in older tissues that is present in younger tissues, or vice versa, or quantitative differences in levels of mRNA.

That then gives a series of mRNA targets to investigate, both upstream, in terms of regulation of transcription such as transcription factors and silencing, and downstream in terms of identifying and characterising the protein product of the mRNA, its structure, binding sites, effects etc. That as you said before is quite a considerable body of work and would require many teams of researchers.

As far as intervention to promote health is concerned, discovering the epigenetic processes which cause the changes would be one pathway to treatments; other pathways could be pharmaceutical, perhaps based on transcription factors, and gene-therapy based approaches.

I think that the approach I have outlined is slightly different to that of the Yamanaka factors, which reset some cells to pluripotent stem cells, as my approach is intended to make differentiated cells youthful but still basically differentiated, as in the functioning young

adult.

I have heard of a researcher called Jaoa de Magalhaes who was said to be doing something like what I suggest (and he has now moved to Birmingham University in Britain) but I do not see mention of it on his website, he talks about long lived species, another interesting approach. An academic in Cambridge told me that she had heard of something like this that I propose being done in Singapore, but did not know the name of the researcher. So, although this approach is not truly novel, I believe it is still new ground.

#longevity #bioscience #biology #ageing #anti-ageing #molecular biology #research #scientific research #research proposal #DNA #mRNA

[rookie-critic]

Amsterdam (2022, dir. David O. Russell) - review by Rookie-Critic

Amsterdam has been receiving criticism way too harsh for how much it does right. David O. Russell is an incredibly competent director that knows how to frame shots, draw good performances out of his actors (even if he was abhorrently verbally abusive towards talent in the past. Hopefully he's grown as a person since that Lily Tomlin outburst on the set of I Heart Huckabees), and create a great atmosphere. Amsterdam does all of these things right and its message is topical and gone into with the best intentions. I think where the film starts to lack is in its indecisiveness. Russell has a lot of things he wants to say and the cast is so massive and packed with big names that about halfway through the film you start to think that he didn't quite know how to wrangle everything he wanted out of this film into one cohesive story line. Another problem the film has is that I never quite got used to how the main trio just loves to repeat each other. You could chalk this up to the general quirkiness that comes along with a lot of Russell's work, but it was being done in a way that felt unintentional and awkward. Again, this could be just a matter of personal preference, but I found it more distracting than engrossing.

Parroting aside, I will applaud Christian Bale, Margot Robbie, and John David Washington for their excellent performances as well as a lot of the supporting cast, but most notably Robert De Niro and Chris Rock. While every actor in the film was at least good, I found Andrea Riseborough and Mike Myers' performances to be a little cartoonish in comparison to the, again, more grounded-but-still-quirky performances the rest of the cast gives. However, I don't really hold that too much against the film because that almost feels like a nitpick. I am very pleasantly surprised by the entertainment value Amsterdam brings, and can recommend it to a general audience as something, I feel, a wide range of moviegoers will enjoy, even if it tries to wear too many hats during its stay on the screen.

Score: 7/10

Currently streaming on HBO Max.

#Amsterdam #David O. Russell #Christian Bale #Margot Robbie #John David Washington #Robert De Niro #Rami Malek #Anya Taylor-Joy #Chris Rock #Zoe Saldaña #Andrea Riseborough #Michael Shannon #Mike Myers #Taylor Swift #Timothy Olyphant #Matthias Schoenaerts #Alessandro Nivola #Ed Begley Jr. #film review #movie review #2022 films

[loveforpreserumsteve]

Love Grows (demon!Bucky and pre-serum!Steve omegaverse au)

13

HODGE REMAINED HYPER all through Sunday. Moving from task to task as though he wouldn't be able to do them any other day. Building shelves, organizing shoe racks, going through the clothes he hadn't worn in years and probably never would again. Steve tried to avoid his flittering from one spot to another, but it didn't help that every time Hodge passed him, he would make it a point to kiss the top of Steve's head and mark along the length of his shoulders.

He wasn't just hyper though. He was jittery and jumpy. Rushing to his charging phone at the first ring every single time that it rang. It was maddening to witness. Steve had never seen Hodge like this. Not even when he was expecting a call from his agent to find out if he had gotten a role.

Shrugging it off, Steve tried to keep himself busy with his art. He still wasn't feeling inspired, but he was trying to make himself a muse by drawing and painting anything that he could. The bay window. The indent of the sofa from where Steve had been sitting. The TV over the fireplace. The den that Steve longed to decorate as a nursery.

"...the driver swerved out of control, hitting Flag Smasher actor, Jonathan F. Walker," the news reporter said.

Immediately, Steve returned to the living room. A headshot of the alpha actor was on screen before switching to stills from the play Hodge had auditioned for, but didn't get. And seeing the man's face on screen sent a shiver down his spine and put lead in his belly. He couldn't imagine what the alpha's partner was feeling right now.

"Walker was taken to Metro-General Hospital and is in critical condition."

Numb, Steve sat on the edge of the sofa. All he could think about was how young Jonathan F. Walker was. How much he still had to offer. Sure, Steve had only briefly met him a few times, but he didn't seem like a bad person. In fact, Steve thought that if John and Hodge hadn't been in competition, they would've gotten along quite well.

Idly, Steve was aware that Hodge was speaking, "Oh God, no. Oh, the poor guy."

Standing, Steve left the living room, the news station switching to another story. Hodge was still talking, "Yes, I am... Yes, I would... I'd hate to get it this way, but I –"

Finding his husband sitting next to the open window, smoking, Steve leaned against the doorway. The beta gave Steve an apologetic look about the smoking, but Steve couldn't be sore at him. In fact, he felt as though he could use a smoke right now himself. Or a bottle of wine. They all had their vices.

After listening to the person on the other line, Hodge continued, "Well, you'd have to speak to Chester about it."

Of course, Steve knew just as much as Hodge that his agent, Chester Phillips, would agree to whatever was being talked about now. Especially if it was Hodge getting a role. Getting the role, Steve knew.

"But I'm sure there won't be any problem, Ms. de Fontaine, not as far as we're concerned."

Steve held his breath. His stomach roiled. Sure, he wanted his husband to get more roles. Get The Something Big that he deserved. But not like this. Not because another actor could be dying that very minute.

"Thank you, Ms. de Fontaine," Hodge said. "And will you let me know if there's any news? Thanks."

Hanging up, Hodge took another inhale from the cigarette before stubbing it out on the sill. For a moment, he sat motionless, his hand holding his phone to his chest. He was pale and a little clammy, and Steve knew that Hodge didn't want this opportunity to only come his way because of another's demise.

"Hodge?"

He opened his eyes and looked over at Steve.

"I got the part," Hodge said.

Steve chewed on the inside of his lower lip and held himself. "Because of John's accident?"

"Yeah. Hell of a way to get it, y'know?"

Nodding, Steve gestured over his shoulder in the direction of the living room where the TV could still be heard. "They were talking about what happened. It was brutal."

"Listen," he stood, crossing the room. "I've gotta get out and walk around. Get outside and... absorb this."

"Okay, yeah, I get it," Steve stepped out of the doorway. "Take your time."

Kissing Steve's forehead, Hodge moved down the hallway on autopilot. The beta was shaken up, and Steve could empathize with that because so was he. What if it had been Hodge that had been hit? Shaking his head, he didn't want to think of that.

Returning to the living room, he changed the channel. Not wanting to hear any other bad news, but also not wanting to be left in silence. He wanted to get his mind off of the tragedy that had happened so close to home.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but a teeth-whitening commercial that Hodge had been in had been played twice by the time that the man came home. He seemed just as amped up as he had been before the news, which made Steve watch him, concerned, as he paced.

"Okay," Hodge started, facing Steve. Kneeling down in front of him as he sat on the couch, Hodge took Steve's hands in his, "I've been thinking, and I think we should have a baby."

Surely, Steve didn't hear that right. Hodge? A baby? He wanted one? Before his career had really taken off?

"Y'know, goo goo, diapers, waa waa?"

His heart was racing and the tears building in his eyes started blurring his vision, "'You mean it?"

"Sure, I mean it," he said, grinning.

"But what about –"

"Life's too short," Hodge argued. "Today is proof of that. And I don't want to wait around. So, let's have a baby."

Sliding off the sofa and right into Hodge's lap, Steve tackled his husband to the floor. A baby! They were going to have a baby! How did Steve get so lucky?

[thewul]

Luxueux, 2 decks au dessus du pont, bon nous n'avons pas de pont mais quand même, 2 decks en dessous du pont, squash, hammam, et un garage aussi Tout a fait exceptionnel! A mon avis c'est le plus cher Professeur, le plus grand aussi a 185 mètres et surtout le plus rapide, il ne consomme rien en fioul ce n'est pas négligeable, il y a biensur la question de la salinité de l'eau de mer en moyenne 35g/kg qui peut être moindre dépendamment ou on se trouve, ce qui réduit la puissance du système MHD, mais cela devrait rester gérable …C'est intéressant quand même qu'il ne consomme pas de fioul, bon quand on peut se permettre un superyacht ce n'est sans doute pas une priorité, mais cela chiffre beaucoup a l'année quand on se déplace souvent, il y a l'entretien des réservoirs, la révision et la maintenance des moteurs, en somme pas mal de frais en moins

design notes: so the general idea if we are not going to have a regular deck because most of that surface is slopping to the sea, there's no rails, there's air intakes, it's dangerous even being there, to substitute with elevated decks above the vents on the 1st deck, have pools after that for the 2nd deck, and because it's a large ship a pool convertible water deck made sense, both ends of the ship connect with the deck, the Bombardier logo is not a helipad it's inclined there, I guess more elegant and less movies stuff, built for speed rather, the duck wings are there only when you need them and not for show, the flat bed well not so flat now with MHD implementation, but still compared to a keel, allow it go where ships of this size can't, I am quite pleased with this one because it's different from just any other superyacht, the incurved flanks was a wild bet until I ascertained that it paid off and improved the maneuverability of the ship, being dumb to criticism that is, there is one thing the huge glass surface of the command deck, the glass treatment has to be done right make sure that people do not fry in there, otherwise it should be quite stunning, the main striking aspect, there are several, but it has to be the flanks, that's how ships beaten by the sea for decades end up looking like, my thinking has been if the sea want's to have them like that it's for a reason so I proposed it that shape from the start, anything after that is reinforced steel sorry, you know I think we are going to have a mechanized cover for the cockpit same as the military version, it's not armored but the sun can be harsh even under treated glass, how well can it harness a storm well its sturdy, thick in fact with 2 decks and a flatbed, has a strong nose, no moving parts, the elevated platforms might take a beating maybe make them recedable into the structure seal them with a bay, otherwise the ship looks quite insubmersible in its design, at any rate hopefully it is fast enough to get out of rough seas before it's caught in it, not sleep on weather reports, but it's a fact of life that rough seas happen, make it a solid ship, it's not the length of those supertankers where we have to worry about longitudinal torsion, midship the flatbed is reinforced even with the MHD system and structure, can Bombardier pull it on its own well they make airplanes, maybe a military naval constructor who wants to try something different, meaning overall in terms of structure it's military grade, or we may venture into that figure out the structure, which can be different stuff, why not, the core frame is there even already excluding the hull, flatbeds are rewarding like that not too complicated, made to order 1 piece steel beams end to end, if the steel beams go the whole steel industry goes, it's a steel cage pretty much with a hull fixed to it

#ionosphere VI

[saskiamcc]

Critical reflection - JULI

I am so proud of this film and I had such a good time working on it. The overall feedback for this film was quite positive and I think it really highlighted the effort that each one of us put into the film. I felt that generally, we did achieve what we had hoped to, with a few bumps in the road. It took a few drafts to get a solid script from the outline, however Abbie and Alfie did a wonderful job sustaining three dimensional characters while adding more detail to the overall story. I am so glad that this was something that was picked up on by Paul as we worked so hard to understand and write characters with depth, clear identities and purpose, and I think these characters have come a long way since the feedback from the pitch. 

We were complimented a lot on the opening shot – the one minute long shot which followed our main character – Juli into her place of work. The long shot was something that our entire group was so proud of and Alfie and Gus’ hard work really paid off, as it is a beautiful opening which paces the film so well. I do agree with all of the lecturers that the opening credits are distracting as I noticed that it took away from the sound design in that section. Leo suggested adding foley to the opening shot when it fades to black, however I did have footsteps in that part. It is clear that adding something unnecessary takes away from something that is already there. In hindsight I could have made the footsteps louder, however I felt that the more subtle it was, the better.

A criticism that was brought up by all of the lecturers, was the consistency of the style of the film. We wanted to experiment with different types of shots as we felt the stillness was a little dull, however I think it’s fair to say that it was not really necessary to do so. Something Alfie, Robbie and I noticed in the edit, which would have benefitted so much more, is the lack of reactions on the lingering shots. Despite this being a very dialogue heavy film, there are a lot of long pauses to create tension and awkwardness, however I agree with Zoe that there were opportunities for subtle facial expressions that could have added just a little bit more depth to the film. 

The main criticism from Zoe and Leo was that the sound design sort of let down the rest of the film. The ambience noise behind the dialogue cuts in and out throughout the whole film which I spent a long time trying to fix, however I don’t think my efforts really showed since it was still quite jarring and I picked up on it straight away during the first screening. I absolutely agree with both of them that it was distracting however I do appreciate them commending me for my efforts as they both saw what I had to work with at the beginning of the sound edit. If I had more time for sound design, I would definitely experiment more with the De-noiser plug in, which I did not get a chance to use this time as I think layering it with the RX ambience match that I used may make this problem less apparent. Zoe also suggested that this film would have benefitted a lot from radio mics, and I definitely agree but with the equipment faults and the time we had this was just not possible. Something else Zoe asked us to consider, when thinking about the sound design, was the location of the shoot. The location we used had big fridges which we knew could not be turned off and this raised the question of whether or not we considered shooting in a completely different location. While this definitely would have helped the sound design, this film is set in a café and I think wherever we decided to film, we would have run into this problem and we were set early on in production that we did not want to change the setting of the film.  

Despite the fact I am not completely satisfied with the sound design, I am really proud of myself with what I achieved. I have learned so much about sound design and how much good mixing actually adds to the film, even if it is often gone unnoticed. My job on this project really challenged me but I’m so glad that I pushed myself out of my comfort zone because I have found something I never thought I might even consider specialising in - i am definitely considering it now :)

I have had so much fun working on this film, everyone in group put so much effort to the project and I would absolutely work with every single one of them again.

#filmform #Youtube

[blue-box-man-10]

Asexuality, Aromanticism and Fictionkinnity

Oh boy, here we go. I have yet to see anyone in the community talk about this and the best advice I have seen since being around the fictionkin community is "if no one is talking about your experiences, now is the opportunity for you to talk about them." (Also, as a preface for this, when referring to my canons, I will be using past tense as they are things that have happened to me. However, I do not label my fictionkinnity. I have a hard time distinguishing my experiences and I don't know whether these are past lives or not. All I know is that past tense feels right so that's what I'm gonna use.) Alright, here we go.

For those of you who don't know, I am The 10th Doctor from Doctor Who and Orym of the Air Ashari from Critical Role. If you know these characters, you would know that they undoubtedly experience romantic attraction. Their sexual orientation is arguable, but I'll get into that later. But, as I am know, I experience neither sexual nor romantic attraction. Except...

Okay, so, it's a bit more complicated than "I used to experience this but I don't anymore". I'm going to go over my experiences of both my kintypes separately. (And, as a note, my memory is incredibly fuzzy and most of this is based on my instincts and noemata) We'll start with Orym because... That's easier lol.

As Orym, I am a widower. My husband was killed by assasins who were trying to get to the leader of my people, whom my husband and I were guards of. I was a gay cis man, and I'm like 85% sure I was also ace-spec, but I haven't confirmed it, it's just a hunch. I loved my husband very much, and I still do. But it's in a different way than it was. I'm unsure if I still experience romantic attraction towards him (since I don't know what that feels like) I just feel... Different. It's really hard to describe. It's like "I still love you with all my heart, but now it is coming from a different place"? I guess the best way to describe it is "romantic adjacent", like it's romantic but also not quite. I think I feel this same way about both Dorian and also Ashton, but I'm still figuring that out so I won't talk more on that, sorry lol.

My experiences with my Doctor kintype is basically the same, but also more complicated because I just fell in love more. But it's the same feelings of "romance adjacent". However, sometimes it was, obviously, stronger than others. For example, the attraction towards Rose was (and still is) stronger than, say, Madame De Pompadour, however I still felt romantic attraction towards her, Rose and I's relationship was simply longer and more developed. And, of course, I was asexual. I think that's pretty obvious. Unless it isn't, and if that's the case, all the power to ya. (Huh, I guess this explanation was shorter... Whatever)

So! What does this all mean for me now? Well, good reader, it means that I am still aroace. Mostly. But the thing is, I haven't had any real, proper conversations with any of those people I mentioned (nor those I didnt), so I simply do not know what would happen.

I suspect that if I were to properly talk to them and indeed felt some sort of attraction, it would be similar to queerplatonic attraction, in that it is platonic but also more than that. Or, I could experience romantic attraction, who knows?! Not me. I've never experienced romantic attraction in this life, so I really don't know what it feels like, not what to expect.

This turned into mostly a rant, perhaps I could have planned out my thoughts better, but I just wanted to get out what I was thinking, to document it (or something). But in conclusion, identity is tricky and not always black and white and fictionkin don't always identify the same way as their kintypes. I hope someone who relates will see this, maybe even share their experiences. And if you are fictionkin and knew me (or a version of me) in your canon, asks and dms are always open for sharing, conversing. Okay, bye.

#fictionkin #alterhuman #alterhumanity #fictionkin experience #asexual #aromantic #aroace #doctorwhokin #critical role kin #orym of the air ashari kin #orym kin #the doctor kin #kin account #nonhuman #fictionkind

[deoffal-mp-adm7000-n-s1-2022]

Current PhD Enquiry (Mock before final edits)

Notes:

I’m uploading this enquiry here to prove I am currently planning my PhD and am hoping to submit my enquiry this coming Monday (this was written on a Saturday), so I’ll just show the details I am submitting and what I am intending on using to get the ball rolling, after all, this is quite serious for me so I don’t want to not evidence where I started and hopefully I can have something written as a full application by the end of September, if they want my work.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TOP DETAILS OF THE ENQUIRY PAGE

Starting Date: FEBRUARY 2023

(MAX 500 WORDS – Submit at this link = https://www.bcu.ac.uk/media/contact-us/contact-the-phd-admissions-team   

 Your highest academic qualification and grade/expected grade  (required):

I am Currently studying a Ma in Fine Art and am expected to get a 1st.

 What attracted you to Birmingham City University as a potential doctoral student?:

I have studied both a Ba (2:1) and Ma (expecting a 1st) in Fine Art at the School of Art at Margaret street and am now wanting to finish my education with a PhD in Art and Design due to the accessibility of BCU as an institution which promotes independent learning. (still needs more of a clear reason)

 Do you have a potential supervisor in mind for your research project?:

Theo Reeves-Evison (Art Activisms)

(Why I picked Theo, was based on his area of expertise:

Critical and Cultural Theory

Environmental Philosophy

Ethics and Aesthetics in Contemporary Art

Speculation, fiction, and fabulation in art and visual culture.

Psychoanalysis and Schizoanalysis (in particular the work of Jacques Lacan and Felix Guattari)

 What is your proposed funding model (eg. self funded)?  (required):

A Doctoral Loan from Student Finance England

 Please provide a link to your work if applicable:

https://deoffalmaldoror.wixsite.com/deoffal-maldoror

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THE ACTUAL ENQUIRY IN IT’S CURRENT STATE:

I am looking to a study a PhD (starting in February 2023) wherein I want to write a thesis that further develops my current practice focus on the value of horror as medium within artistic and philosophical discourse as a contemporary academic.

For the PhD and through my practice (Deoffal Maldoror is my alias) as a dark surrealism portraitist, my focus is about taking contemporary horror artistry and literature out of the occult and into the realm of mainstream discord, and away from its lacklustre representation in the cultural zeitgeist.

My current working title for this project would be: In The Sleep of Reason, A treatise on Horror and Pessimistic Iconography. The current draft of my research question would be: What can horror as an allegorical tool for philosophical interrogation tell us about contemporary cynicism in the post-modern era?

I founded my current focus during the peak of the Covid Pandemic, wherein Deoffal was created as the natural reaction to living in a world that exists in unending paranoia and societal decadence. My work studies the transgressive, taboo and occultic and wishes to challenge the sensible and ideal as a contemporary form of artist response through pessimism as cynicism.

My research influences literary wise are of both quasi-philosophical fiction and academic writers, such as Algernon Blackwood, H.P. Lovecraft, Arthur Schopenhauer and Eugene Thacker. In particular, the contemporary works of Eugene Thacker, they are concerned with reading philosophical works as speculative fiction, and vice versa. In turn, reading the works of figures like H.P. Lovecraft as philosophical interrogations on universal subjects, like the unknown, nothingness, nihilism and the Anthropocene. This intersects well with my primary artistic influences such as Francisco De Goya, Gustave Dore, Max Ernst, Francis Bacon, Junji Ito and Suehiro Maruo, all concerned with questioning the sensible and conventional, another important motif of the horror medium.

My research would primarily discuss the intrinsic psychological and evolutionary interests we have when confronting/debating the morbid, taboo and pessimistic, as best experimented with in the horror medium itself. I am also concerned with debating why this discourse doesn’t deserve to be treated as a lesser form of academic interrogation when compared to its more blindly ideal counterparts. This will be done by intersecting and referencing relevant art of all medias with timeless and current philosophical concepts, to both ground my work in critical theory as well as in a high art context. My research would also attempt to negotiate as to how contemporary horror media is the natural reaction to a world that is struggling with its own post-modernity/nihilism.

Pessimism is an important motif within this research, as its often thrown to the wayside because it asks us to consider alternatives and questions that have no mercy for humanities self-imposed significance in the face of the abhuman and darkly surreal. So, writing about pessimism in a way that promotes its positive influence on critically important and emerging artists in current times and historically, while also encouraging academically, critical thinking and response even in an art context is something my PhD would strive for.

It’s important to the future of discourse that doubt and cynicism as cultural criticism are still able to cut through the surface level and the idealism of the status quo, for the benefit of creating deeper monologues on the Anthropocene and the human condition through the lens of a less than merciful perspective.

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FURTHER NOTES TO FINISH:

So the final edit would need to simplified and more connected to my intended supervisor, but other than that, it’s currently too long and maybe a little too rambly which is nothing new for my practice but not something I want as a first impression for setting up of my PhD. I’ll post the final version once that is edited down and sounds more like a research proposal really, write now it sounds like a minor lecture as a profile of myself rather than a clear elevator pitch, which it should be just to sell them on my work and it’s potential.