#but then again what do i know i am a dom Will advocate at heart

[ghostforwhat]

when you’re off of work would you please elaborate on your hannibal service top agenda,,, please my family is starving

i don’t want anyone to starve so obviously I will extrapolate on the service top aspect of Hannibal Lecter o7!! I am going to get so carried away and I apologize in advance.

Alright going to start this off by saying I do think they’re vers but only in regards to each other, I think for canon relationships, Will has a tendency to allow himself to be directed while Hannibal loves to orchestrate. With each other, though, it grows increasingly and alluringly complicated. Arguments could be made and subsequently thrown out depending on what part of the show you’re watching and post fall is an entire free-for-all because you can’t tell me two grown men survive murder-suicide via cliff and then settle into the puritanical rigidity of who tops and who bottoms.

Okay that being said, honestly i could make the case that both of them lean more toward making sure whoever they’re with is getting the most out of the encounter (maybe for different reasons; the popular trope of Will’s empathy causing a sort of blissful feedback loop and in Hannibal’s case, it stands to reason the politeness overlaps with a challenging sort of hedonism, he’s in control and playful about it) but I think that specifically for Hannibal, Will’s reactions are what he’s constantly seeking and then hoarding. Like. Will responding to stimuli that Hannibal presents is basically the premise of the show and Hannibal very clearly gets off on that, maybe not anywhere explicitly but we see shots of his pupils dilating, his gaze always caught on Will, licking his lips, all in response to Will reacting to him. It’s very rare he’s outright hungry at the beginning of a conversation or interaction, he seems to maintain a sense of aloofness until Will snarks or baits or replies or even defers and then, it’s as though he’s desperate to see more. I'm not getting into the whole them eating meals together because I'll devolve very quickly but like. just keep in mind the way Hannibal watches Will eat, as though he savors Will instead of the meal he cooked. Right. Okay. He gets caught up in Will’s responses very quickly, enraptured and almost stupid about it and trying to immediately trigger more which!! Goes hand and hand with him doing very uh lets say unique acts of service (the malewife jokes are only half jokes); the breakfasts & dinners, the driving, the caretaking. Yes all that’s manipulative but to Hannibal, that doesn’t negate that it’s still getting him the responses he wants and that’s also maybe why he’s so quick to say they’re friends because he’s viewing it as a form of relationship building and quite frankly, that is the only way that man knows how to build relationships; he sets himself up as a crutch and then breaks your leg and unfortunately at that point, for Will, for Jack, for Abigail, for Bedelia, for Chiyoh, you are too grateful to be standing that you forget he’s the reason you can’t do it on your own. The others I mentioned learn either very quickly or very (in painful irony) rudely that he is only a crutch as long as he enjoys it, as long as he can benefit from holding you aloft.

However. In Will’s case, he tries to remove himself and finds that it’s him who can’t stand and he’s immediately resentful and desperate to take back that ability, leaving another gift, another act of service, for Will to prove that he can still provide it and detrimentally putting himself on the map for Jack and Mason in the process. He’s so eager to have Will’s response, he waits at his own fucking crime scene. Will gives him what he wants and he’s too overwhelmed to respond with any sort of power or immediate selfishness, he runs again. And then. Muskrat Farms and his surrender. I feel like I don’t even need to explain why that backs up my case here, that man is so so ready to rescue and then surrender all because Will’s involved; two things he’s never done in his entire life, they essentially reduce him to this almost pathetic thing and it doesn’t give him pause at all because again, they’re acts of service whether Will wants them at that point or not. Like Bedelia said it best, he’s obsessed, he wants every reaction, every word, every sigh and curse, he’s very single-minded about getting them and he doesn’t care who he has to hurt, himself or others, to get them. Now, combine all that and the cliff scene and tell me that man doesn’t spend every second they’re in a bed together completely and utterly focused on Will and Will alone.

#NORTH UR PFP THREW ME OFF I WAS LIKE HELLO RANDOM BLOG I WILL ELABORATE YES #but also hiiiii what are you doing for the rest of your life and can it be me #haha jk....unless? #i'm literally holding so much back lmao like i didn't even touch on Will's response and manipulation of that behavior #tdlr when i write top hannibal its always going to be him makin will come like 3 times before he even remembers to get off n i stand by tha #so so sorry for this but also i am not at all and am completely correct #top hannibal can be good #theres just an overabundance of sadist/power topping which doesn't always mesh well i feel like idk #that man is hungry in every possible way for Will and when youre starved you don't stop to see if youre full you eat until you can't #but then again what do i know i am a dom Will advocate at heart #be he gentle or not #teacupmotif #asks !

[httpjeon]

SEHEBON ― KTH (M.)

synopsis. you find yourself on izo huen, home to the sehebon. luckily for you, you've arrived at an interesting time.

pairing. taehyung/reader genre. angst, fluff, smut au. alien!au wordcount. 16,580 contents. Huge Dick Tae, cocky!tae, soft!tae, protective!tae, lowkey possessive!tae, human!kink, slight harrassment, dom/sub themes, size kink, size difference, sensitivity kink?, orgasm kink?, cunt slapping, breath play, dry humping, cunnilingus, fingering, cumflation, belly bulging, lowkey consent kink, unrealistic sex but it’s aliens what do u expect, lots of mention of humanity note. tae just wants to learn human things ):

blog masterlist. made of stardust masterlist.

© httpjeon 2020. do not repost, modify, or translate.

It had been a little over a half a year since your move to the Vela System of the Fanet IV Galaxy courtesy of the Interplanetary Relations Commission had begun. You were still adjusting to your new environment, Izo Huen being a vastly different place compared to Earth in terms of culture and climate.

"So, to wrap up the events of this past week," you shifted in your chair, staring into the lens of the camera you used to send reports to your superiors, "I met with the head of the Embassy for a dinner in order to meet the head of Izo Huen's military. The only way I can describe the whole interaction is...tense. Warrior Sehebon are truly another level of terrifying. Horrible burns across their bodies correlate with the information we had about their rituals. They wear the burns with pride, however ― a mark of bravery I suppose. The middle of the week was rather uneventful," you shifted in your seat, leaning over just out of frame to take a sip of your water. You stared at the arched ceiling, thinking of anything that could come to mind of importance to note. Outside your window, you could see people walking through the streets, laughing and chatting with one another.

"Oh!" you sat up straight again, "The monthly market came back once again. This time it was mostly vendors from Liana. They had the most amazing fruits I'd ever seen ― nothing like Earths. They were delicious too, so sweet. I wish I could send some back for everyone to be able to taste. You know," your gaze shifted out your window again, to the people bustling about, "Things got really hectic here in Fia recently, I don't know what it is. They're hanging banners up and there seems to have been an extreme increase in population of the city. I'm not completely sure what's going on."

After ending your weekly log and sending it to your fellow researchers on Earth, you downed the rest of your water and groaned. Izo Huen was sweltering hot, the two suns that hung in the sky upping the temperature past comfortable.

You couldn't wait for night to come, the freezing cold giving you a wonderful excuse to cuddle under the wool blankets.You decided to take a bath to pass the time, as it would be night in just a few hours. Plus, you desperately wanted to wash the days grime off your body.

By the time you woke up the next day, you were acutely aware of how incredibly loud it was outside. Shouts and cheers emanated from just outside your window. So with sleep-filled eyes you hurriedly dressed yourself and rushed out to see what the fuss was all about.When you stepped out of the door, you were shocked by the incredible crowd of people filling the streets.

Banners and streamers, even balloons, decorated every inch that could be covered. The alphabet was one you hadn't yet learned to decipher so the meanings were completely lost on you.

"Excuse me?" you asked a nearby woman. She was much taller than you ― a key trait in both men and women of their race. She turned and looked down at you with surprise in her eyes, "What's going on?"

"It's the pre-celebration," she answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

She turned her back to you once again and quickly disappeared into the crowd and you sighed. Sehebon citizens were still getting used to their planet being visited by other races outside their own solar system ― they were the newest planet to be opened for visits by the Interplanetary Commission.

It unfortunately resulted in some of the citizens to hold ill feelings towards those entering their cities.

Sighing, you decided to follow the flow of the crowd to appease your own rabid curiosity. A lot of the cultural information on Sehebon had yet to be discovered or disclosed, as a race that held their own traditions close to their hearts.

You were surprised that the place everyone was flocking to was the massive Colosseum that was centered in the very middle of the city. Larger than any stadium found on Earth, you'd never had the opportunity to find out what it was for.

In your excitement to get through the crowd of large Sehebon, you stumbled over your own feet and hit the ground hard ― knocking the air out of you. The crowd didn't wait, stepping over you and for a second you were scared you would be literally crushed under a stampede.

However, strong hands grabbed your arms and lifted you up, grabbing your wrist and dragging you out of the crowd. You stumbled trying to catch up, with his large steps while trying not to end up slammed into unsuspecting people.

The person tugging you pulled you out of the crowd and rounding the stone walls until you realized the amount of people had dissipated. You had the opportunity to look at the person who had helped you ― a male Sehebon finding a safe spot for you and finally slowing down.

"I...thank you," you muttered when he didn't say anything, his back still facing you.

"You're a human right?" he asked, finally turning to you. You choked on your own spit at the sight of him ― black hair hanging over two pretty dark eyes. He was tall, probably a little above average for his race and he was absolutely gorgeous, "I heard there was one staying in Fia but...damn."

"Uh...I'm an advocate for the Interplanetary Commission," you sputtered out, unable to break your gaze away from his face. He had tanned skin, smooth as could be with a jaw so sharp it could cut glass, "I'm from Earth, yes. My name is _____."

"Incredible," he moved closer, having to lean down to look at you how he wanted. You could feel his breath on your face and you could see the way he had one mono-lid and one double ― which was absolutely adorable, "My name is Taehyung...you know, you're so...small."

"I-I'm actually quite average," you refuted, glancing away under the power of his gaze.

"Maybe by human standards but..." he straightened up, looking around, "You should be careful. You can get hurt easily, you're lucky I saw you fall and bothered to help you."

"Bothered..." you whispered with a soft scoff. You could still feel his eyes on you, burning into you as if he was analyzing every inch of you, "Hey, so what's going on anyway?"

"You don't know?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow when you shook your head.

"I asked someone and she just said it was a pre-celebration," you shrugged.

"Yeah sort of," Taehyung gnawed at the inside of his cheek, jaw cocking to one side at the action, "It's gonna be our lottery in a few days so we come to the stadium to get our tickets."

"Wait...lottery? Like a money thing?" you asked, "You guys have that?"

"What?" Taehyung shook his head, staring at you like you were stupid and you suddenly felt embarrassed.

"O-On Earth we have this thing called a lottery and...you scratch these little papers and you can win money," you explained, hoping to help him make sense of you assumption.

"Huh, that's interesting," he actually did seem interested and maybe a little impressed, making you feel weirdly proud, "But no, that's not what we have. Once a year the government holds a lottery here in Fia, in the stadium. You draw and if your number is picked you gotta fight."

His words made you blank out.

Fight?

They had to fight?

"What the hell?" you sputtered before you could stop yourself and Taehyung cocked his head to the side.

"Have you not read any of the banners and information sheets floating around?" he asked, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets, "They put them up to inform new visitors of what's going on, you know."

"I..." you cleared your throat, suddenly feeling embarrassed again, "Can't read the alphabet."

Taehyung went quiet for a minute before he snorted, beginning to laugh way too much for the simple problem you had. Your cheeks burned as he held his stomach, no doubt aching from how hard he was laughing.

"Oh my gosh!" he choked, wiping under his eyes, "Y-You're illiterate!"

"I am not illiterate!" you gasped, ears beginning to burn now at his accusation, "I-I just haven't had a need to read the alphabet! Since we speak the same language, you know?!"

"Okay, okay," he sniffled, finally calming down from his outburst. He looked down at you and cooed, placing his hand on your head, "Aw, don't-don't pout, I'm sorry. You're so cute!"

"St-Stop making fun of me!" you whined, petulantly stomping your foot which just made him coo more at you, calling you cute.

"I'm not making fun of you!" he argued, standing at his full height again, making you look up, "Isn't it only natural that I find the small little human girl cute? You're so...small."

"So you keep saying," you mumbled, crossing your arms over your chest, "Are you going to go into the stadium?"

"Yeah, probably a little while later," he shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets, "It'll calm down soon enough and it'll be less hectic. You're welcome to wait with me, if you'd like."

"I might as well," you sighed, leaning back so you rested your shoulder against the wall, "I'll probably literally be killed if I try to go in there at this point."

"Probably," he agreed, looking away from you when you squinted up to glare at him, "Say..." He looked back at you, head cocked to the side curiously, "Is it true Earth has a lot of oceans? And only one Sun?"

"Eh? Yeah, that's right," you nodded, making him hum, "You've never been to Earth?"

"Nah, can't afford to make that trip," he sighed, sliding down the side of the wall to sit on the ground, "I read about it when the news that we'd be open for visits from them, though. Here sit," he tugged your hand until you were finally sitting beside him.

"About this...fight," his head lulled to the side as he gazed at your through his lashes, "What...why do you guys do it? How's it work?"

"Well," he rested his hands on his bent knees, head resting against the wall behind him again, "You know majority of our planet is uninhabitable right?"

"Yeah, dominated by deadly deserts that will kill even Sehebon," you replied mechanically, having studied their landscape immensely on your voyage from Earth.

"Then you also know there's only a few, select places suitable for us to live," you nodded and he continued, "We have three cities on Izu Huen, Fia our capitol, Veles, and Holis. That isn't a lot of room for an entire planet to live, right? We have to stay within the habitable zone and fit every person on the planet in the cities. Excluding those that have the means to move to Vimoldara, that is. That's a lot of people, isn't it?"

"Wait," you sat up straighter, jaw dropping open, "You mean, it's a form of population control?"

"That and," his gaze turned much darker, sending a chill up your spine, "It's a chance for us to show each other how strong we are. That we're the best and we deserve to live, we offer more. Those who lose are killed and only the winner can stand."

"That's..." you cleared your throat uncomfortably, "That's scary."

"Not for us," Taehyung shrugged, casting a sideways glance your way, "It's a celebration. We're all excited and ready to do it. We get to make our families and ancestors proud as we fight."

You hummed, still weary of the lottery but kept the rest of your opinions to yourself. You and Taehyung dissolved into talking about things he was curious about on Earth, deciding it would be worth it to travel there simply after hearing what a cheeseburger was.

The suns began to set when Taehyung stood, helping you to your feet.

"We should be able to get in easily now," you followed him to the large entrance that you'd been unable to see past when you had first approached.

With the smaller influx of people, you could see fully inside the stadium. There were banners and decorations strewn about everywhere, a wash of white, red and black colors seeming to be the theme. In the very center of the stadium was a booth with a man standing inside, handing things out to the people in line.

"I hope he doesn't think I'm here to pick a lottery," you mumbled to yourself as you stood in line with Taehyung. He was still holding onto your hand as you waited, large fingers wrapping completely around your wrist, making the size difference more apparent.

He really was right when he said you were small. But his hand was so warm and comforting against your skin that it made you feel...cute.

"Nah, they won't assume a foreigner is here to participate," he said, not breaking his gaze from the booth.

By the time you reached the booth, the suns were down to just peeking over the horizon and the moon was, instead, shining large in the sky. The temperature was dropping and you couldn't help but move closer to Taehyung for warmth. You weren’t dressed to be out at night, you’d only anticipated spending the daytime hours out.

"Thank you," he said, tucking a slip of paper into his pocket after folding it up. The man behind the booth nodded, waving the next person forwards.

He began to walk when he paused, looking down at you with wide eyes. You scrambled to detach yourself from his side, not realizing just how close you were to him. However, you were quickly brought back when he pulled you flush against him again with a small smile.

"You humans are so fragile," he breathed, beginning walk, keeping you tucked into his side. Your face was burning with embarrassment but you also felt a strange sense of pride flowing through you at the prospect of such a good looking man treating you like he was.

"I-It just gets really cold here, you know?" you mumbled, trying to defend yourself albeit weakly.

His chest vibrated with his laughter, tightening his hold around your shoulders, "I guess if you're not used to it. You live around here?"

"Uh yeah," you pointed in the general direction of where you were staying, "I live down this road a ways."

"Alright, I'll walk you there," he offered, though he left no option to refuse.

You both fell silent as you walked, every once in a while another person would pass and stare at the two of you. Their eyes followed you even as you passed, turning back to stare at you and you began to feel strange about it.

"Why is everyone looking at us like that?" you asked suddenly, making him look down. The moonlight cast a soft glow on his face causing the shadow of his lashes to dust his cheeks.

"Probably because you're a human and you're with me," he answered as if it was the most normal thing in the world, "It's not exactly common for Sehebon and foreigners to be together yet."

You swallowed thickly, cheeks burning for the thousandth time that day it seemed.

It wasn't long before you reached the stoop of your house and you dislodged yourself from Taehyung, wrapping your arms around yourself to keep in the warmth you now missed.

"Um thanks for walking me home," you said, shrugging your shoulders self-consciously as his eyes scanned over your body.

"It was my pleasure," he leaned closer to you, "Hey, why don't you come to the celebration in a couple days, hm?"

"You mean the fighting?" you asked, feeling uneasy at the invitation. He nodded eagerly, eyes bright in excitement, "Taehyung, I do understand it's an important practice for you...it's your culture. But humans and Earth...it's punishable to kill someone. It's against the law. We find the concept of death scary...you know?"

His head cocked to the side, brows furrowed and the excitement in his eyes gone, "You're scared to die? And you don't like to see others die?"

"Exactly, it's...it's a very negative thing for humans," you attempted to explain while trying not to upset him.

"You know being invited to a fight is a very special thing," he muttered with a frown, leaning close to you so his nose was touching yours. Your eyes grew wide at the fire burning in his eyes and you swallowed nervously, "It's very offensive to reject an invitation to a fight. I want to show you how good I am, how well I can fight. I want you to be proud of me. Impressed by me."

Your mouth grew dry at his words and the way he uttered them, deep voice dark and no hint of the gentleness he had spoken with before. You attempted to move back but found your back pressed against the door. He loomed over you, leaning on his forearms above your head ― caging you in. Strangely, the only thing you could think of was how good he smelled; like the fruits you'd eaten a couple days ago.

"I-I'm sorry, Taehyung," you whispered, licking your lips in an effort to rid yourself of your nerves, "I just...Y-You don't need to kill someone t-to impress me, you know?"

"Then how can I?" he squinted, "I find you fascinating. A cute little human girl, smart and charming. I want to...what is it you humans call it...court you?"

You wanted to smile at the sound of the outdated term he used. But it was stopped by his confession, of what he thought of you.

"W-Well...you're trying to court a human girl..." you spoke slowly, meeting his eyes in faux confidence even though your heart was beating a mile a minute, "Why don't you try...a human method?"

"A human method," he gnawed on the inside of his cheek ― apparently a habit he had while thinking, "What are human methods?"

"Well um..." you noticed that with his body covering yours like it was, you weren't affected by the cold and that your trembles were no doubt excitement, "Like...dates. Do you guys have dates?"

"Usually an invitation to fight for someone to see is sufficient enough to begin a relationship," he explained, making you sigh. He frowned at the sound and leaned closer to you to meet your gaze, "Tell me what to do and I'll do it."

"F-For humans usually a man will ask a woman on a date," you explained simply, "Like...you would ask to take me to see a movie or take me to dinner."

"A dinner," he repeated, seeming to mull it over for a moment before nodding. The dark look was gone and he smiled the cutest boxy smile you'd ever seen in your life, "Then I'd like to take you to dinner, _____."

"I'd like that, Taehyung," you smiled, feeling your cheeks burn under his soft gaze.

"After my fight, to celebrate my win I'll take you."

"Alright, Taehyung, I look forward to it," after what seemed like an eternity, his eyes flickering from your lips to your eyes, he finally stood up straight. The cold immediately began to sink into your bones and he stepped back off your stoop.

"See you soon, cutie," he waved, twiddling his fingers before spinning on his heel and walking in the direction you both had just came from.

You opened your front door, slipping inside and relaxing once the warmth hit you. Leaning back against the door, you pressed your hand to your chest and sighed.

"Not how I expected my day to turn out," you mumbled, taking a seat at your chair in front of the camera, turning it on so the red light blinked indicating recording, "I know it hasn't been a week yet but I've found something interesting. I met a man named Taehyung and he told that they're about to begin a planet-wide lottery. Everyone draws a number and they're picked to fight. It's a...form of population control and some kind of cultural flex on each other to show who is the toughest and bravest. The fights are set to take place in a few days and I was invited but...I had to decline. The prospect of watching it was just too much for me to consider so I apologize for that."

You went quiet for a second, deciding to leave out the fact that the invitation was an attempt to ask you out. You greeted the people who would be watched goodbye and shut off the camera, turning to your computer monitor and hurriedly sending the video before shutting everything down.

The city was quiet for the next few days, everyone packed into the stadium. You would frequently hear the thunderous roar of the crowd but ultimately did your best to block out the prospect of the death no doubt going on.

You laid on your bed, reading a book you'd read several times already but lacked the means to acquire a new one. You wouldn't be able to read the books in an alphabet you couldn't read. Though you could take the time to learn but, you were in no mood to study.

As expected, you found yourself thinking of Taehyung. He was charming, no doubt, and you were surprised by how much you ultimately enjoyed his company. It was quick that he decided he wanted to date you, by human standards anyway, but Sehebon were very fast-moving people as more than half their race were warriors who could be killed in the blink of an eye. No doubt a cause for Taehyung's rush to be with you.

You couldn't deny the complete attraction you had for him; he was incredibly good looking and had the cutest smile. His voice was hypnotic, smooth as whiskey and as deep as the ocean. Dating someone of a completely different species wasn't the strangest thing by far ― plenty of humans had counterparts from different races. Dating a Sehebon, on the other hand, was different since the brand new introduction of their race to humans.

There was no fear that Taehyung would bring you any harm or have ill intentions, there was just a lot of confusion about him. You didn't exactly know much about who he was as a person rather than his race.

The date would no doubt clear things up and open doors for you.

Remembering the fact you would be going on a date with him set butterflies off in your tummy and you bit your lip to hold back the gleeful grin that threatened to spread across your face.

It was a full week before the streets became the same again. The population of Fia went back to normal as visitors from other cities left and went back home. The banners were taken down from around your street and before long everything seemed to have returned to the way it was.

Unfortunately, you were running out of food so you needed to go food shopping. As the suns were beginning to set, with the temperature steadily dropping, is when you decided to go shopping.

You slid a sweater on to keep you warm before stepping out the door. It was still a little warm but you knew you'd be grateful for your choice later.

In the past, you'd made the mistake of forgoing something warm and had to quite literally run home before you froze to death.

You carried a bag, an effect from when you lived on Earth and refused to use plastic bags in fear they'd end up in the oceans. When you first presented the bag at the local grocers, the cashier had looked at you like you were stupid ― making you feel just a tad self-conscious.

Fortunately, they'd now grown used to your practice and barely batted an eye in response when you brought.

The shop wasn't busy during that time of day and you were thankful to be able to navigate the aisles without having to avoid the giant Sehebon people that easily blocked your shelf access. You packed your bag with things you were vaguely familiar with. There was a lot of food you didn't dare try ― you couldn't read what it said or it was just gross looking.

Unfortunately, however, the shelves were so damn tall that you sometimes had to scale them to actually reach the things you needed. Standing on your tippy-toes using one of the shelves to grab a simple box of noodles ― something you were very pleased to find on Izo Huen.

You chose a lot of fruits and vegetables ― trusting them more than their alien-meats. You were basically the alien version of a vegetarian at that point.

When you stepped outside, you were immediately grateful of the sweater you wore. The cold still seemed to seep in a bit but it was tolerable despite the light shivers that took you. Carrying your bag, you hummed a tune to yourself as you navigated the darkening streets. The lamps were lit to illuminate your way but there were no other people in sight, making you feel calm.

"Hey, you a human?" scratch that, there were people.

You paused, looking into an alleyway separating two residential streets. A small group of young men were smoking cigarettes. Part of you wondered if they were cigarettes or some Izo Huen-version.

"Yes I'm a human," you replied, pulling your bag off your shoulder to hold it in front of you.

"You want a hit?" one of them asked you, offering you what he was smoking off of.

"N-No thank you," you backed away slightly to get away from the smoke emanating off the burning end, "I really should be getting home...I have things to put away."

You turned to walk away but a hand aggressively gripped your arm to stop you, startling a gasp out of you.

"Hey, that hurts," you mumbled, attempting to tug your arm free but he tugged you closer to him, "Let go!"

Before he had the chance to speak, a hand was violently wrapped around his throat and slammed him back. He pulled you with him slightly, knocking you to the ground as the man was pinned to the wall. Looking up, you could see Taehyung leaning close to him ― whispering something that had the man's eyes widening.

"Do you understand?" Taehyung growled, loud enough for you to hear. The man nodded so hard you were sure he was going to give himself a headache. Taehyung held him still for several more seconds, looking over him to make sure he was telling the truth.

When the man was dropped, he took off down the alleyway with his friends following, none of them daring to look back.

"Are you alright?" he asked, crouching down to where you were sitting on the ground. He cupped your cheek ever so softly, thumb grazing beneath your eye, "I didn't mean for you to get knocked down."

"It's alright," you muttered, using his shoulders to pull yourself back to your feet. He remained crouched for a moment, just gazing up at you silently, "W-What is it?"

"You should be more careful, _____," he said, picking up the bag of groceries you had dropped, tucking some of the things that had been knocked out back in where they belonged, "Didn't I tell you that you could get hurt?"

"W-Well yes but that was different― "

"It wasn't," he snapped, moving close to you once again. Fingers hooked beneath your chin to make you look at him, "Don't you understand how much people want you? How they look at you when you walk around?"

"N-No..." you blinked as you tried to recall any staring while you were on your own.

"Everyone finds you alluring here, _____," Taehyung's voice dropped and he stepped even closer so your foreheads were just barely touching, "The cute little human girl. And I'd be very disappointed if I had to kill someone for hurting you."

You were speechless, lost staring in the fiery blaze within his eyes. He held your gaze for several seconds before stepping back and smiling.

"I'll walk you home, I was on my way to see you anyway," you sputtered in shock as he tugged your hand in the direction of your home ― his rapid change of demeanor no doubt going to give you whiplash.

Your feet pounded the pavement as you struggled to keep up with his large strides. You were running out of breath and stamina, though he appeared unaffected.

"T-Tae...can you s-slow down?" he halted in his tracks so suddenly that you fully ran into his back.

"What did you call me?" he looked over his shoulder, staring sharply down at you.

"I-I..." you pulled yourself away from his back and stuttered, "I called you Tae. I'm sorry i-it just slipped out...h-humans like to make n-nicknames, you know?"

He was quiet for a second before he turned around completely, cocking his head to the side.

"Say it again," he commanded.

"Uh...T-Tae?" the name sounded more awkward than it had before coming out of your mouth.

"Hmm," he made a noise akin to a moan, rolling his head back in response before looking down and smirking, "I like that. You're the only one allowed to call me that, yeah?"

"A-Alright," your heart was racing from the way he had reacted to the nickname but you didn't get to dwell on it long before he was tugging you along once again.

You stood on your stoop again, looking at Taehyung, a small smile on his lips as he watched you. He held your bag of groceries out for you and you had to hold back a gasp when your hand brushed his.

"Shit, your hands are freezing!" he gasped, taking one of your hands in his and bringing them closer to him.

"U-Uh yeah it's...pretty cold," your words came out a whisper, reveling in how warm his hands were against yours.

"Poor thing," your eyes widened as he pulled your hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against your fingers.

"T-Tae," the nickname had his eyes flicking up and he hummed, pressing another kiss against them.

"Did you like that?" he dropped your hand from his lips but continued to hold it, smiling at you, "I read in a book about common human practices for courting and it said a kiss to the hand will make her heart flutter. Did it work?"

"I..." you swallowed thickly, nodding your head ever so slightly, "I-It was nice, Tae..."

The two of you fell quiet, his hand enveloping yours and his soft gaze fixated on you. Your groceries hung in his free hand and he slowly reached out to hand them to you once again. Once the bag was in your hands, he released your hand from his hold and shoved his own into his pockets. He stepped backwards off the stoop but continued to stare at you, bottom lip tucked in his mouth.

Your eyes danced over his body ― never really looking him over that much besides his face. He had a black button-up tucked into tight fitting jeans and boots that made him even taller than he already was. It surprised you how thick his thighs were but how small his waist was ― it's like he was sculpted by actual gods.

"Well," he smirked, no doubt having caught you staring, "See you around, cutie."

"Hey, Tae wait!" you called before you could stop yourself.

He halted immediately, turning to look at you once again, "You alright?"

"I just..." he jogged back to the stoop, stepping up and moving close to yours.

He cupped your chin between his fingers and made you look up at him.

"You can tell me, sweetheart," his brows were drawn together in concern.

The pet name causing a shiver to go down your spine, "What is it?"

"C-Can...Would you...like to stay for a while?" your cheeks were on fire and you couldn't meet his gaze after whispering the words.

Taehyung's eyes softened and his lips quirked up, running his thumb over your lips for a split second ― so light you almost missed it. He stood up straighter, removing his fingers from your face. You found yourself missing the touch and your heart was pounding at the possible rejection you could face.

"Were you nervous to ask me that, baby?" your core lit on fire at the new pet name and you held in a whimper, "I'd love to stay with you."

"O-Okay..." you reached behind you, turning the knob and pushing the door open.

Warmth hit you from the inside and you scurried out of Taehyung's view as fast as you could to the kitchen. You could hear him walking, the sound of his boots on the floor seeming deafening in the silence of the house. Leaning against the counter, you took a few deep breaths to steady yourself.

You began putting your groceries away in their designated places, noticing that Taehyung's footsteps had gone silent.

"This place given to you by your job?" he asked suddenly, making you jump.

"Um...yeah," you cleared your throat, "It's nothing special but it's cozy."

"It's nice," he muttered before falling silent.

You placed the box of noodles in your cabinet, steeling yourself before moving to the living room. Your brain nearly short-circuited at the sight before you.

Taehyung sat on your couch, legs spread wide and arms stretched out on the back of the couch. His head was tilted back, exposing beautiful expanse of throat. The way he sat was so confident and commanding that you had to clench your thighs together to control yourself.

"Um...are you okay?" you whispered, stepping forward as he lifted his head to look at you.

"I'm perfect," he responded, scooting to the side to allow you to sit beside him, "I think I've figured out a place to take you on our date."

"Oh?" you'd nearly forgotten about the date, "So you're ready to take me?"

"I'm thinking tomorrow, if that's okay," he looked down at you and you smiled.

"I'd love that," your gaze fell to your thighs, noticing the size difference between his and yours ― reminding you of how large he was.

Flicking your eyes up, you were frozen by the sharpness in his own as he stared at you. As you kept his gaze, you felt one of his hands find its way to your thigh and you bit your lip to keep from outright whimpering at the feeling.

"You're so soft," he muttered, shifting to turn more towards you, "And absolutely breathtaking..."

His lips drew closer to yours, his hair brushing your nose as he dipped down. When he pressed them completely, his hand tightened around your thigh. You whimpered, seeming to set Taehyung off as he cupped the back of your head with his free hand ― deepening the kiss.

Your hands clutched at the front of his shirt, losing yourself in the feeling of his lips and hands on you. The hand on your thigh traveled up, grazing your hip, drifting up your stomach and over your breasts before wrapping around your throat. You gasped at the feeling, lips parting from Taehyung's just slightly before you surged back forward to reconnect them.

He groaned against your lips, giving your neck the lightest squeeze before he released you and reached lower to cup your breast through your sweater. You arched your back into the muffled touch but he didn't linger for long because his hand was diving between your legs.

Your jeans impeded you from feeling his touch properly and you whimpered, grinding your hips forward in hopes to remedy the problem. You reached down, holding his hand against your core as you whimpered into his lips.

"Do you want me to touch you, pretty baby?" he asked, kiss parting until your lips just barely brushed his.

"P-Please Tae," you whimpered, feeling your eyes sting with tears of desperation ― having never wanted to be touched so badly in your life.

Taehyung didn't reconnect the kiss, instead he tilted your head back to press his lips to your neck. His long fingers unbuttoned your jeans and hurriedly tugged them off your hips until you finally reached down to pull them off completely, tossing them away.

The way you cried out when his hand cupped you again, this time through your panties, was nothing less than lewd. He tugged your thighs open further, one of them resting across his own, leaving you completely open to his fingers.

"Sound so pretty," he mumbled, teeth grazing your neck where he continued to mouth at you.

You wrapped one hand around his wrist, dragging his fingers up ever so slightly until you were able to push them past the band of your panties. He immediately took over, fingers diving between your folds to find just how wet you were for him. He groaned, pulling away from your neck to meet your gaze, his lips open just slightly as he brushed against your clit. Your hips twitched and you found yourself clinging to his arm as you whined.

"So sensitive, little one," he whispered, wrapping his free hand around your thigh to pull you even closer to him until you were completely in his lap with your back tucked to his chest.

"Tae..." you whispered, eyes fluttering closed when he began to press kisses to your shoulder ― the sweater not allowing you to feel it properly but enjoying it nonetheless.

"Yeah baby?" he cooed, resting his chin on your shoulder to watch his hand move beneath the fabric of your panties.

"C-Can..." you trailed off, feeling your cheeks burn and he tsked.

"Tell me what you want and I'll do it, baby," he assured, fingers now running across your folds without dipping between ― teasing you.

"Can you...take them off?" you asked, turning your head slightly to meet his gaze.

"If that's what you want," he pulled his hand out of your panties and you whimpered at the loss, making him chuckle, "So needy, huh?"

His thumbs hooked into the band and he pushed them down your thighs. You pulled your legs up to help him take them off ― tossing them off somewhere else to join your jeans. He gripped your knees, roughly tugging them open until your cunt was completely exposed to him ― glistening in the dim light and flushed swollen with your arousal.

"Fuck, babygirl..." he breathed, reaching down to run his fingertips through your parted folds, "Such a pretty little pussy, hm?"

Deep in your mind, you wondered where he learned such delicious dirty talk from ― seeing as he didn't even know the proper word for courting. The thought was completely wiped from your mind, however, when he used two fingers to spread your folds open. Your hole clenched around nothing and Taehyung let out a choked groan.

"St-Stop staring!" you whined, snapping your thighs closed around his hand.

Taehyung growled, wrapping his hand around your throat again and pulling the back of your head against his chest. You whimpered, eyes flicking up to briefly catch his glare. His jaw was set, glaring down at you with a gaze that made you feel incredible small.

"Spread your fucking legs," he ordered, tone making your eyes flutter slightly. When you hesitated to do as he said, he leaned closer until his mouth brushed your ear, "I said...spread your legs."

You whimpered, bottom lip trembling as you pouted, slowly opening your legs back up. Too slow for his liking, he jerked one open and pinned the other down until you were just as exposed as before. His hand cupped your entire core, middle finger sliding between the folds.

"That's more like it," he sighed, finally releasing your neck, "You better act right, baby, or else I'll have to punish you."

His words made you tremble, thighs twitching ever so slightly. He raised a brow at your reaction, an almost detached look coming across his face.

"Would you like that? To be punished?" when you only whimpered, he smirked, "I see...how would you like it, hm? To be choked until your lungs burn for air? Or maybe if I spanked your little cunt?"

"Tae..." you felt your hole clench, sending a gush of arousal to meet his fingers.

"Oh?" he chuckled, making you cheeks burn, "You'd like to be slapped, huh?"

Before you could even think up a reply from your foggy brain, a sharp pain right against your clit had you crying out. Your eyes found his face but he was watching as he smacked your cunt again. His fingers ran over your folds to soothe the sting and he laughed.

"Interesting..." he hummed, middle finger circling around your clit. Your eyes fluttered and your hips arched into the touch more.

His index and ring fingers spread your folds, his middle finger swirling over the hardened bud until you were moaning. He pulled the hood back, exposing it even more to his sensitive touches. Your eyes rolled back in your head and you choked out his name.

"Does that feel good?" he asked, pressing a kiss to your shoulder, "Does it feel nice to have your little clit touched?"

"Y-Yes!" you squeaked, reaching down to take hold of his wrist. Your body was practically vibrating as you trembled beneath the almost too much stimulation. Suddenly, his touch was gone and you were left still trembling with the remnants of his fingers lingering.

"It's alright," he cooed, wrapping one of his arms around you to hold you tighter against him, "I've got you, little one."

"Please, Tae," you begged, burying your face into his arm, thighs trembling still spread.

"What is it?" he asked, voice soft as silk.

"Your...Your fingers," you canted your hips up ever so slightly and he hummed.

"Want my fingers inside?" he asked, although he already knew before you nodded.

He hummed, two fingers finding your spasming entrance, coating them in your juices. You held your breath as he finally sunk them inside you, stretching you deliciously even though you were plenty wet enough. His fingers were big, filling you up nice and deep. Gasping against Taehyung's arm, you mindlessly ground your hips up as he slowly pulled them out. You didn't get to mourn their loss for long because he was quickly pushing them back in ― slick sounds accompanying the movement.

"You're so fucking tight," he muttered, "So small...Shit, how long has it been since you've been fucked, pretty girl?"

"Ah-Never..." you gasped, hand circling around his wrist as you squirmed.

His fingers paused, halfway inside and you whined, "You've never been with somebody?"

"N-No, Tae," you whined, using your hand on his wrist to push his fingers back inside, "J-Just you...only you!"

He cursed under his breath, wrapping his arm tighter around you before he began to finger fuck you wholeheartedly. The sounds pouring from your lips only spurred him on, your cunt tight like a vice around just two of his fingers.

"This little cunt won't ever be able to take my cock, sweetheart," he growled, crooking his fingers up to nail that little spot that made you sob, "I'm gonna be too big for you."

"W-Want it a-anyway, Tae," you cried, nails digging into his wrist. Tears welled up in your eyes, trickling down your cheeks as your body was sent into overload.

"Yeah? Want me to fuck you open until you can't take anymore?" he groaned, "Watch your virgin cunt get stuffed full of a cock you simply can't handle...have you make those pretty noises while you cream all over me..."

His words seemed more self-indulgent than aimed at you but you whined and nodded anyway. His palm ground against your clit as his fingers filled you up so nice and you found yourself teetering on the edge.

"I-I'm gonna cum," you panted, thighs twitching erratically in response to your pleasure."Go ahead, cum for me," he commanded, groaning alongside you as you tightened up around his fingers.

"Tae! 'S so good..." you slurred, eyes closed as you buried your face in his arm to ride out the pleasure he was giving you.

"Coming so prettily, little one," he whispered into your ear, fingers beginning to slow as your orgasm died down, "You're such a good girl."

"Ah...Tae," you whimpered as he pulled his fingers from your still-clenching pussy, sensitivity hitting you like a brick wall. Your thighs clenched shut, trembling uncontrollably in the aftermath of the most pleasure you'd ever received.

Taehyung slid his cum-soaked fingers into his mouth, eyes rolling back at the taste of you on his tongue. His arm still held you tight as you continued to whimper against him.

"Taste so so good," he whispered, mostly to himself.

Once his digits were clean, he glanced down at you. It was clear you were still a bit overwhelmed and he cooed, shifting you in his lap until you were facing him. He pulled you into a hug and couldn't hold back a chuckle.

"Humans are so fragile," he whispered, "So overwhelmed...even that was too much for you, huh?"

You didn't respond, simply tucking your face away in his neck. You let your weight drop fully on his lap but froze immediately. You hadn't realized while you were being touched, how hard Taehyung's cock was against you but with a clear mind you could.

He was fucking big.

He chuckled darkly, lips finding your neck as he slowly made you grind against his covered length, "I told you, babygirl, I'm too big for your little pussy."

When you whined and tightened your grip on him, wanting to avoid the painful overstimulation, he simply chuckled. He let you cling to him and lay with him until your eyes fluttered shut ― sleep quickly and eagerly overcoming you.

Just as you sunk into darkness, you felt him press the softest of kisses against your forehead.

"My cute little human," he whispered, voice fading out as you finally fell asleep.

When you woke up, you were tucked cozily in your bed beneath your wool comforter. The sun was up and you groaned, kicking the blankets off as you grew warmer with every passing second.

You had on your sweater from yesterday and a pair of panties you hadn't been wearing. Looking beside you, you found the bed empty and sighed.

Despite yourself, you found yourself feeling disappointed he hadn't stayed the night. He had shown you such a sweet, caring side before you fell asleep. It had made your heart flutter, how he treated you so delicately yet used such a sharp tongue to fluster you.

"He's such a strange dude," you muttered, staring at the ceiling as you spread starfish on your bed.

There was a dull ache between your legs, reminding you of the night before. Feeling your cheeks flush, you sat up straight and hurriedly crawled out of bed intending to take a cold shower.

Drying your hair with a towel, you hunted around your closet for a cute outfit for the date. Briefly, you wondered if he was still planning to take you out. Excitement thrummed through your veins, a giddy smile lighting up your face and making your cheeks ache.

After choosing your outfit, you took a seat in front of the vanity you had set up. You had found a mirror at the monthly market a few ones back and decided it was the best purchase ever. You hadn't known mirrors were scarce on Izo Huen for whatever reason until you desperately needed one.

Deciding to leave your hair down, too lazy to try and make anything of it, you mindlessly spun around in your chair.

A strange feeling bubbled up in your chest that made your heart race. Leaning your head back against the back of the chair, you ran your hands over your face with a groan.

"I actually miss him," you scoffed, leaning forward to rest your head on your vanity counter, "What is wrong with me?"

The day seemed to drag on longer than any other as you waited for Taehyung to arrive. The heat hadn't even bothered you, your mind too muddled with thoughts of your date. You wondered if he would hold your hand and where he planned to take you.

As the sun finally sunk beneath the horizon, you were more antsy and began to pace your living room. Every once in a while, you'd glance out your window in hopes a passing man would be Taehyung. Unfortunately, you were mistaken every time.

Before long, you began to realize that he simply wasn't going to show up. You changed into your pajamas, rejection burning in your veins before sitting on your bed. The streetlights and the moon cast a decent glow around you.

Your feelings were hurt. You’d been stood up by an alien.

Your heart ached and you felt your eyes sting with unshed tears. You flopped over, covering your face with a pillow before screaming into it.

"What a jerk!" you shouted in the material.

By the time you went to sleep, your simmering anger gave way to pitiful dejection. Your eyes were wet with tears as you closed them.

He was polluting your mind, everywhere you went you found yourself hoping that he'd turn up around the next corner. You’d hoped he would come knocking on your door with a sheepish smile, apologizing.

Though as the days passed and you had seen neither hide nor hair of him, the prospect of an apology made you angry. You didn't want his stupid apology anymore.

A week lapsed and it was time, once again, for your weekly log.

Sitting in front of the camera, you sighed, "The...friend I had made seems to have disappeared. It's weird, I was perfectly content by myself but once he showed up and vanished ― it's made me lonely," you gnawed on your bottom lip before sighing, disappointment becoming a common feeling in your life by then, “Maybe I need to make some friends but...I can't explain it; the Sehebon are such a strange race that it feels like it's going to be really difficult to make friends. There's really nothing eventful that happened worth logging besides my own problems so...I'll sign off."

A couple clicks on your computer had the log sent. You'd be getting paid again soon, perhaps you'd be able to go out and find something to do for yourself. Maybe you'd hit the jackpot and find someone who would want to be your friend.

It felt childish, the need for friendship you had. But with Taehyung's absence, your loneliness was at an all time high.

It was beginning to get dark and you decided to say 'fuck it' and get dressed. You'd find something to do ― you hadn't really checked out nearly all the districts of Fia and you knew there were some popular places to hang out.

It was a long walk to the area they dubbed the Social District. The second you stepped onto the rowdy street, you were blown away by the flashing lights and heavy bass emanating from the various buildings.

They had their own clubs.

You suddenly felt out of place and awkward, weaving through the giant people blocking the streets as they talked with friends. It seemed like no one saw you, as if you were just invisible to them. You moved to the sidewalk, being able to squeeze by the people and avoid the large crowd that filled the street.

You slipped into a pub ― judging by the tables and bar. You couldn't read the sign but you still walked in anyway. It wasn't very crowded, a few tables still open. The vibe inside was much cooler and calmer and you felt yourself begin to relax.

Walking up the bar, you took a seat, grabbing a menu without thinking about it.

"God dammit," you muttered, staring at the alphabet you still couldn't read.

"Can I help you?" the tender asked, moving to stand in front of you.

"Uh...I can't read this," you admitted, feeling your cheeks burn.

"That's alright, what do you like?" she pulled the menu from your hands and looked over it herself.

"Do you have any good alcohol?" you slumped against the counter, chin resting in your hand.

She regarded you with furrowed brows, closing the menu, "You do know alcohol is poisonous, right?"

"Wait what?" your head snapped up and the woman laughed.

"Alcohol is poisonous to us. We don't drink it," she placed the menu back where you got it and smiled, "We have some Soda."

"You do?" you perked up at that, not tasting soda since you'd left Earth. You watched eagerly as she filled a glass with brown liquid, placing it in front of you.

"It's not...Earth's soda but it's basically the same," she smiled, "It's got seltzer and sugary syrup in it."

You thanked her before she was whisked away to take care of another customer, leaving you by yourself. You sipped out of the straw, sighing at the taste. It was slightly off compared to the soda you were used to but bubbling seltzer had you smiling.

"_____?" you jumped at the sound of your name, choking on your drink and erupting into a fit of coughing. A hand carefully patted your back until you calmed down, "Are you alright? I didn't mean to scare you."

"I-It's fine," you choked out, clearing your throat and swallowing a few times to rid the feeling. Your eyes flicked up to meet Taehyung's and you felt a frown fall over your face before you realized it, "Taehyung."

His brows furrowed at your using his full name but he didn't say anything, "I uh...didn't know you came around here."

"It's my first time," you muttered, turning back to sip on your drink. When you didn't offer another opening for a conversation he let out a sigh and slid up next to you between the vacant seat beside you. You didn't have any choice but to interact, seeing at he wasn't going to back off.

"I'm sorry I missed our...date," the word still sounded foreign on his tongue, "I had urgent business to attend to in Holis."

"You don't owe me anything Taehyung," you muttered, failing to mask the hurt in your voice.

He sighed again, "I had to go visit a friend of mine, he was stranded and couldn't get home on his own. I promise that's all it was, _____."

You sighed, feeling your hurt and anger soften. Turning to look at him, you opened your mouth to reply but were interrupted.

“Whoa, is this the little human?” a loud voice from behind you made you jump. Twisting around, you saw a large man with biceps so big his t-shirt was stretched taut, “Oh you are a cutie!”

“U-Um...hello,” you greeted timidly.

"Uh yeah," Taehyung smiled, placing his hand on your shoulder, "This is _____. And _____ this is Wonho."

"N-Nice to meet you," you held out your hand, gasping when he leaned down and pressed a kiss against your knuckles.

"It's my pleasure," you could hear Taehyung let out a long sigh, "Bartender, I'll take a Blue Ice please. I gotta take a leak," he muttered the last part to himself, fingers lingering on your shoulder before he disappeared.

"You drinking a soda?" Wonho asked, peering into your glass, "Mind if I have a sip?"

"I guess not," you shrugged, watching him wrap his hand around the glass and bring it to his lips.

He was good looking, you couldn't deny. He had cute ears that stuck out just slightly and pretty teeth as he grinned at you. You found yourself comparing him to Taehyung ― deducing Taehyung definitely set your heart racing the second you looked at him.

"You know," Wonho placed your glass back down in front of you, "I was surprised to hear Taehyung was fooling around with a little human. I never thought he'd be the type."

"What do you mean?" you asked, brows furrowing as you mindlessly stirred your drink with your straw.

"Well I just can't believe he's actually giving in to it," Wonho said, pulling out a menu to look over it.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," you muttered, quite blunt.

He seemed surprised, chuckling and waving his hand, "Just the whole human kink that's going on. You know, since humans have started coming here it's become like a game to see who can actually manage to bang one. Can't believe Taehyung managed to snag one."

Your eyes drifted to your glass, the ice melting in your soda ― watering it down. A human kink?

"So...I'm just a conquest?" you whispered, though you were sure Wonho didn't hear as he was ordering a drink.

So many things bubbled up inside you; anger, humiliation, shame. Humiliation at the fact you'd been used, shame over the fact you fell for it and were so close to giving in, and anger of the audacity he had to do such a thing to you. Tears stung your eyes and you bit your lip to hold them back.

"Oh man, that looks delicious," Taehyung groaned, grabbing his tall glass of blue drink and taking a sip.

"I'm leaving," you muttered, sliding off your stool and moving to walk away.

You were stopped by a hand grabbing your elbow. Taehyung stared at you, brows drawn together.

"You just got here," he muttered, obviously confused by your sudden change.

You scoffed, "I'm going home, Taehyung."

You snatched your arm out of his grip and stormed out the doors and onto the busy streets. You could vaguely hear your name being shouted but it was quickly covered by the noisiness of the people. Crossing your arms over your chest, you weaved through the bodies. Tears were burning your eyes but you held them back.

"Hey a human!" you heard someone shout but you didn't stop, "Why don't you come party?"

'The whole human kink.' Wonho's words echoed in your mind, making it harder to fight your tears. 'It's become a game to see who can bang one."

By the time you reached your front door, your jaw was aching with keeping your tears in. Slamming the door behind you, you immediately burst into tears ― bringing your hands up to cover your eyes with your sleeves. Sniffling, you dropped onto your couch and let your sobs out freely.

Hugging one of your throw pillows, you attempted to calm yourself down. Just as you were about to drift off to sleep, eyes fluttering against your will, there was a series of sharp knocks against your door. You didn't move, silently waiting to see if they'd go away.

Unfortunately, the knocks became harsher and more frantic. Deciding that they weren't going to go away, you stood up and dragged your feet to the door.

You already had a feeling who it was and you weren't wrong ― Taehyung standing on the other side. His fist was raised like he was going to knock again and his hair was a complete wreck. His shirt clung to him with sweat and his breathing was a little heavy.

"What do you want Taehyung?" you muttered, crossing your arms around yourself.

"You've been crying," he whispered, moving to step forward but stopped when you moved back, "I knew you were upset. What's the matter, sweetheart?"

"Don't!" you snapped, turning on your heel and storming into your house.

"What?" Taehyung whispered, closing the door gently behind him.

"Don't call me that," you said, keeping your back to him so he wouldn't see your tears.

It felt so nice to have him call you pet names so gently. But you remembered it was just a ruse to lure you in ― and it was so hard not to fall.

"Why not? I thought you liked being called that?" he sounded so confused and you could imagine he looked akin to a kicked puppy.

"Because it's not fair!" you shouted, finally turning around, "You can't just play those games with me because I'm a human, Taehyung!"

"I really...What are you talking about?" his voice was so soft, so gentle. He took a couple steps towards you, hands outstretched, "I'm not playing any games."

"Oh yeah?" you scoffed, wiping away a few stray tears from your cheeks, "Wonho told me about your disgusting kink! You don't care about me, you just wanted to be able to say you fucked a human!"

"Wh―" he stumbled over his words, irises desperately scanning over you, "That's not...true."

You scoffed, shaking your head., "You're so unfair, Taehyung." he cocked his head to the side curiously, "You made me like you and I trusted you. But you just...you really aren't any different from men on Earth, huh?"

"What do you mean? Of course I'm different!" he argued, his own eyes growing glassy, "I never lied to you, _____. I promise!"

"You just wanted to use me as a conquest, something to brag about," you breathing stuttered as you sobbed, "And I almost fell for it!"

"Would you listen to me?!" he snapped, suddenly moving and pinning you against the wall.

He was caging you in, scent overwhelming you and making more tears fall from your eyes. You refused to meet his gaze, even though you could feel his eyes burning into you. You sniffled, staring down at your cardigan sleeves that were functioning as sweater paws.

"I never once intended to use you like that," Taehyung growled, voice giving away his frustration, "Everything I have said and done for you is real and not because you're a human. I don't want you as a...a...conquest," the word sounded foreign on his tongue, "And I certainly am not like your pathetic human men on Earth. I am better in every single way."

"Taehyung..."

"Stop calling me that!" he snapped, making you jump, "I-I want you to call me Tae!"

"I don't think..." you shook your head.

"Why won't you believe me?" he sighed, voice going soft, "Is it really so easy to lose trust in me when I haven't even done anything? You heard my friend say some stupid nonsense a-and you're suddenly convinced I'm evil!"

When he put it like that, you felt silly. Your own insecurities caught up with you and you shifted awkwardly in your place against the wall. You sheepishly looked up to find him staring at you, eyes dark beneath his long bangs. They were damp from sweat and you swallowed thickly at how good he looked.

"I'm sorry Tae..." you mumbled, nibbling on your lip beneath his glare, "I just...I really like you and I don't want you to―

"Listen to me," he tilted your head up, making you look at him directly. His eyes were much softer now and your eyes felt hot once more, "I have no intention of hurting you. You can trust me, _____. I promise."

It felt like all self-control slipped through your fingers as you suddenly surged forward to press your lips against his. Standing on you tippy-toes, you wrapped your arms around his neck. He eagerly kissed you back, arms wrapping around you ― teeth nipping at your bottom lip to make you whine.

One of his hands traveled lower, cupping your ass and pulling you closer to him. You could feel his length hardened in his jeans ― and it was just as big as you remembered. It made you whimper, feeling him so hard against you. You squeaked when the floor was suddenly pulled out from beneath you and you found yourself pressed against the wall with your legs wrapped around his waist, his weight supporting you.

You whined when his lips found your neck, trailing his lips over the sensitive skin beneath your ear. He smirked at the feeling of you shuddering against him.

"Are you wet for me, baby?" he asked against your skin. You whimpered and nodded, feeling your pussy clench and gush into your panties, "Do you want me to touch you? Tell me."

"Yes please, Tae," you begged, blushing when he chuckled at your desperation.

The wall was pulled out from behind you and you scrambled to hold onto him around his shoulders, "I got you," he reassured, turning to walk through the open doorway of your bedroom.

You were deposited onto your mattress, making you bounce slightly on it. Taehyung was covering your body once more, however, as he met your lips for another kiss. Resting his weight on one forearm beside your head, he used the other to push your shirt up.

Getting the hint, you pulled your cardigan off and tossed it off the side of the bed before tugging your shirt off as well. Taehyung groaned, his lips kissing the swell of your breast above your bra. His fingers trailed over your bra ― cupping you and sighing softly.

You were surprised by your own boldness as you reached behind you and unclipped your bra. Before you could tug it off, however, Taehyung pinned your arms above your head and growled.

"Why are you so eager?" he asked, making your blush further.

"I-I just want you to touch me..." you confessed, lashes fluttering when he leaned down to brush his lips against your lips once more.

"There's no rush, little one," he cooed, "I'm not going anywhere until I've made you cum for me."

You clenched your thighs with a whimper at the pressure in your core. He pulled off your bra, finally, tossing it away and sitting back to admire your body. You were laid out beneath him, breasts heaving in your arousal.

His head dipped down and you held your breath as he enveloped a perked nipple into his mouth. Your hands flew up to clutch at his hair, back arching. His teeth grazed the bud, and groaned at the way you whined.

"Fuck, you're so responsive to everything I do," he gasped, pulling his lips away from your nipple. His fingers found it and brushed his thumb nail over and you choked out a sob, "I love it so much..."

"T-Tae please!" you whined, arching your hips up.

"Alright, baby," he cooed, flicking the button of your jeans open and tugging them down. Your panties went with them but neither of you cared, "Look at that. So wet."

"Please touch me, Tae," you begged, spreading your legs wider around him.

"You ever been eaten out, sweetheart?" he asked, watching the way your breath stuttered at his question. When you didn't answer, he gave your cunt a swift smack. You cried out, clutching at the blankets desperately, "I asked you a question."

"N-No I've never― " you were cut off by his fingers sliding over your clit softly.

"Do you want to?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Yes, yes please, Tae!" you gasped, eyes wide when he shifted down the bed until his head was positioned over your core.

"So pretty, baby," he sighed, spreading your folds open to expose the pretty wet hole that clenched desperately around nothing.

Your mouth fell open, a stuttered breath escaping you when his tongue slid over your entrance up to your clit. He hummed, licking his lips to chase the taste. He looked like he was in heaven, swirling his tongue over your bud and chuckling when your whole body trembled.

"Love how you react to me," he whispered, mostly to himself. He tongued at your hole to taste your juices once more before dragging up to your clit once again, "I don't think I'll ever get enough of you."

"Tae!" you cried, tugging his hair harshly though he didn't seem to mind.

His lips wrapped around your clit, sucking the bud into his mouth. You keened, eyes rolling back into your head at the stimulation. You nearly screamed when you were suddenly filled with two long fingers.

"Fuck!" you cried, back arching. You abandoned your hold on his hand to wrap your hands beneath your knees ― keeping yourself open for him.

"Good girl," he praised, making you smile down at him.

He pressed a kiss against your thigh before diving down to take your clit into his mouth again. His fingers stretched you open, catching your g-spot every chance he got. He reached so deep inside you with just his fingers and you suddenly remembered how big his dick was. Just the thought of it had your walls clenching around his fingers. He groaned in response, the vibrations against your clit making your thighs twitch.

"A-Another finger, Tae, please," you begged, voice not above a whisper.

"Can you handle that, sweetheart? Your little cunt’s already stretched around two," he teased, his index finger beginning to nudge against your entrance.

"N-Need it," you gasped, "Need to take it for you cock."

His fingers froze and you felt him exhale sharply against your core ― as if the air had been punched out of him. Glancing down, you saw his jaw was clenched and his brows were furrowed.

"Don't say things like that, little girl," he growled, finally pushing the third finger into you, "Don't make promises you can't keep."

"Tae I― " your words died on your tongue when he enveloped your clit once again.

You felt stuffed with his fingers, the digits making your entrance stretch deliciously. You lost your grip on your knees and let them fall open once again. Taehyung's tongue danced over the sensitive nerves, eyes closed as he relished in having your cunt wrapped around his fingers. You were gushing, coating the digits in your juices and he couldn't wait to have them in his mouth.

"W-Wanna cum, Tae," you gasped, reaching above you to grip desperately at the pillow.

He reached up, pulling on one of your hands until you released the material. You felt your walls clench tight when he urged you to put your hands on his head.

He wanted you to pull at his hair.

Not one to reject such an offer, you tangled both your hands in the soft locks as he began to fuck you with his fingers eagerly. The wet noises were obscene, mixed with your moans made an incredible melody for Taehyung.

The fact he was the only one who had ever had you like that made his cock throb. His hips moved mindlessly against the bed beneath him to get some stimulation. His cock hurt in the confines of his jeans but he didn't dare try to pull it out.

Suddenly, your walls clenched tight and the grip on his hair began to sting the harder you pulled. Sobbing out his name, your entire body began to quake beneath him. The pleasure was overwhelming and you snapped your thighs closed around his head. He didn't pull away, however, keeping his lips attached to the throbbing bud through your orgasm ― milking every spectacular second until you were whimpering from overstimulation.

He gasped as he pulled away, sitting back on his heels before pulling his fingers out of you. He spread your folds, groaning at the way you gaped slightly from being stretched open. Sliding his soaked fingers into his mouth, his whole body trembled and he reached down to palm himself through his jeans.

The feeling of a smaller hand covering his had his eyes snapping open. He pulled his fingers out and stared down at you as you shyly palmed him through the material. He groaned, head falling back.

"C-Can I..." you trailed off, not quite sure what you were asking.

"I...I don't know..." he bit his lip, apprehensive.

"Please Tae?" you pouted, looking up at him through your lashes.

"Shit, alright," he whispered, switching your positions. He scooted up until his back rested against your headboard, shoving your pillows aside to make room for himself, "Come here. Sit on my lap, pretty girl."

Your hands were trembling as you did what you were asked, swinging your leg over his lap until you were straddling him. As you pressed your full weight on him, he tossed his head back in a groan. The pressure of you sitting on him felt spectacular.

Gripping his shoulders, you suddenly felt shy with his eyes on you. He gazed at your body on top of him like you were a goddess, hands drifting up your sides and cupping your breasts. Thumbing your nipples, he smiled crookedly when you shivered at the feeling. He cupped your cheeks, finally, and pulled you down for a soft kiss.

"Go ahead and grind on me, baby," he cooed, gripping your hips to urge you to move.

The first grind against him had him releasing the most beautiful moan that you felt yourself gush in response. His head leaned back against the headboard, watching through lidded eyes the way your cunt ground against his cock through his jeans. He wishes he could take it out and feel your wetness drip all over him ― to feel you cream against him as you came. He swallowed the urge down and continued to guide you.

"D-Does it feel good?" you asked, biting your lip as you watched his jaw tense as he held back his moans.

"So good, babygirl," he groaned, feeling his heart stutter when you proudly grinned down at him, "You're so fucking cute."

"D-Don't call me cute when I'm doing this," you hissed, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Doing what?" his head rolled against his shoulder and he smirked at you, "Go on and say it."

"No..." You whispered, clutching his shirt. Leaning forward, you wrapped your arms around his neck and held him close.

"Why so shy, little one?" he chuckled, kissing your temple and trailing his hand up your back before cupping the back of your head, "Grinding your wet little cunt against me like this...wanting to make me cum. And you want to act shy?"

You whimpered, gasping into his ear so prettily that he shuddered. He felt his orgasm coming and he groaned through clenched teeth.

"Close..." he whispered, fingers digging into the soft skin of your waist while he other clenched in your hand, "You're gonna make me cum, baby."

"Please cum, Tae," you begged, gasping when he wrenched your face out from where you were hiding in his neck.

"You want my cum?" he panted, mouth falling open as you fastened your pace. You nodded as best you could with his hand in your hair, "How about you cum first for me?"

Your eyes fluttered, realizing with his words how close you were to another orgasm. You leaned forward, pressing your lips against him. He hummed in response, smiling in the kiss when you started trembling in his lap.

You pulled away from the kiss and tossed you head back as you cried out his name, gushing against his jeans. Taehyung cursed, his own hips stuttering beneath you.

By the time you came down, you realized how wet his jeans were beneath you. You whined, falling off the side of his lap. He still sat up, chest heaving as he caught his breath. With his eyes closed, he didn't see you cupping his softening length through the wet material. He hissed, brushing your hand off of him.

"I-Is that all your..."

"I should get home," he interrupted. You frowned, watching him stand up and shift uncomfortably.

"Can't you stay?" you asked, finding yourself not wanting him to leave.

"Sorry, baby," he leaned down and pressed a kiss against your forehead, "Maybe another time." With a final, departing kiss, he turned and stepped out of the door. He paused, however, and looked back at you, "Be ready tomorrow, 8PM. I'll take you for dinner."

You were left alone on the bed with a little smile on your lips ― the promise of seeing him tomorrow making you giddy.

You felt apprehensive when 8PM rolled around and there was no sign of him ― the time blinking on the screen of your computer. You sat on your desk chair, watching the moments tick by.

It was nearing 8:30 when there were a series of knocks on your door. You jumped to your feet and raced to the door, pulling it open to see Taehyung with a guilty smile and a handful of flowers.

"Sorry I'm late I uh..." he cleared his throat and held the flowers over to you, "I had to go a bit out of my way to get these."

"Oh Tae..." you smiled, taking them from his hands and bringing them up to your nose to smell, "They're beautiful."

"They're imported from Liana," he smiled, shrugging sheepishly.

"How'd you think of this?" You asked, motioning for him to enter your home as you went to your kitchen to put the flowers in water.

"Well..." he cleared his throat, "I just...I've been reading about human dates and just human things like that, you know?"

"You've been studying for our date?" you giggled, putting the flowers on your counter before turning to him. He looked shy, keeping his eyes averted from you, "I really appreciate it, Tae."

"Really?" his eyes lit up and he grinned his adorable smile.

"I think it was very thoughtful," you led him back to the door and out into the cool night.

"There's this place I really like around my place," he suddenly explained, taking your hand in his as he helped you down from the stoop, "I like to go there with some friends. I think you'll like it!"

"I'm sure I'll like anything, Tae," you admitted, smiling when he squeezed your hand in response.

The two of you made simple talk as you made your way to the restaurant. You hadn't had the opportunity to go to one in the time you'd lived on Izo Huen.

It was a simple, small building with an Open sign in English. You grinned, bouncing inside tugging Taehyung by his hand excitedly.

"Pick a seat, little one," Taehyung cooed, nudging your back.

It was set up exactly like a restaurant on Earth and you slid yourself into a booth, grinning. Taehyung took the spot across from you, lounging back as he looked at the menu. You followed his lead and opened the menu yourself. Eyes wide, you realized you were able to read everything.

"Hey...It's in English!" you muttered, eyes scanning over the words. They were translated underneath into what Taehyung could understand ― the characters and symbols lost on you.

"Yeah it's the only place around here that does it," he shrugged, "I figured you might enjoy that."

"You're..." you grinned, shaking you head, "You're so thoughtful, Tae. I really appreciate it."

He shrugged, though you could see that his ears were tinged red.

You both ordered drinks and food, the atmosphere dissolving into one of calm company. You both chatted idly about anything ― Taehyung asking a lot of questions about Earth and him trying to teach you the different characters for his alphabet. He gave up when you just couldn't get a hang of it ― teasingly calling you illiterate and cooing when you pouted.

"Hey Tae," you muttered, picking at the salad you had ordered. He hummed, mouth full of some type of steak ― though the meat was of a consistency that made your stomach turn, "How did you learn to speak so...casually?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, sipping his soda.

"You know..." you blushed, realizing the question wasn't really something to ask over the dinner table, "When you talk you use a lot of slang terms. Like...in bed," You whispered the last word and picked at your salad again.

"Oh," Taehyung chuckled, "See, I have a friend who has been to Earth a few times. He has a lot of...interesting material that he let me read. And he kind of taught me some popular slang on Earth."

"You didn't have to go to so much effort, Taehyung," you whispered, although you were grinning. Your heart fluttered in your chest nonetheless.

"I wanted to," he suddenly set a hard gaze on you, "I want you to like me and I want you to feel comfortable around me. I want to be good for you."

"Tae..." you reached across the table and cupped his hand in yours, "I already like you very much. You make me feel comfortable and you make me feel very happy."

He grinned, looking away from you shyly but squeezed your hand tightly.

The walk home was peaceful, you found yourself wrapping your arms around one of Taehyung's ― wanting to be close to him. He didn't seem to mind in the slightest, squeezing your hand tightly and staring down at you with sparkling eyes. It felt like he looked at you like you hung up the moon ― it made you feel fluttery inside.

"Do you want to come inside, Tae?" you asked, opening your front door.

He hesitated for just a moment before stepping inside. He kicked his boots off along with you, watching as you tucked both of them away in the corner. You went to your bedroom to change into something comfortable ― settling on some pajama pants and an oversized sweater. When you walked back out, Taehyung was sitting at your desk looking at your computer.

"What's this?" he gestured to your setup with your camera.

"It's where I record the logs needed to send back to Earth," you explained, "I update my superiors every week on things that are happening. When I learn something new about the culture or something interesting happens."

"Interesting," he muttered, sitting there for a moment before standing up and navigated over to your couch.

You dropped into the seat beside him and molded yourself against his side. He wrapped his arm around you and pressed a kiss against the top of your head. The silence was comfortable and you rested your head on his chest ― listening to his heartbeat.

"Hey Tae?" he hummed, looking down at you when you looked up at him, "Can I have a kiss?"

His gaze softened and he quickly leaned down to press his lips against yours. He went to pull away but you followed him, pulling him into a deep kiss making him moan. Swinging your leg over his lap, you straddled him boldly. He seemed surprised by it but didn't say anything, just moving his lips against yours.

"Tae," you whispered against his lips, "I want to touch you, please?"

"_____― " he pulled away from the kiss, pushing you back slightly by your shoulders.

"You keep saying I can't handle it, but I can!" you argued, pouting at being pushed back.

"I don't want to hurt you, _____," his brows came together in a deep furrow, "It wasn't just talk when I said you couldn't handle it. It's too much, you're too...small."

"It turns you on though doesn't it?" you teased, noticing how he was growing hard beneath you, "Can't we at least try, Tae?"

"I-I..." his head fell back when you ground against him, "Fuck, we can try."

You held in a squeal of joy when he scooped you up in his arms and carried you to the bedroom. He dropped you on the bed and stripped his shirt off.

It was the first time seeing him naked and you sat up to admire his body. He was fit, as you expected. His stomach was flat with a small trail of hair leading beneath his jeans. On his shoulders were patches embedded in his skin that reflected off the dim light of your bedroom.

"What..." you sat up on your knees, brushing your fingers over them. It felt like normal skin, and you hummed in wonder.

"They're...light-sensitive patches that we just...never evolved out of," he explained, "They were useful for survival when we dominated the deserts. Now they're just...here."

"Interesting," you muttered, trailing your hand down his chest and stomach to the button on his jeans.

Before you could flick it open, however, he grabbed your wrist and pinned you back to the bed. His gaze was dark, making you shiver underneath it. He smelled wonderful and you reached up with your free hand to brush his bangs out of his eyes.

"You've got another thing coming if you think you'll get anywhere near my cock before I think you're good and ready, little one," he growled, making your thighs clench at the sound.

You whined when he rushed to discard your clothes, not wasting a single second in getting you bare for him. He palmed himself through his jeans as he looked down at you, licking his lips.

"So pretty," he whispered, smoothing his hand down your body. Smirking, he pinched one of your nipples to hear the way you whined, "Spread your legs for me."

You hurriedly did as you were told, shame and inhibitions thrown out the window. You felt nervous under his gaze but with every compliment and soft touch ― you began to feel better. Mouth falling open, you gasped when his fingertips brushed against your folds.

"You're so wet," he mumbled, more to himself, "Are you always so wet, baby?"

"Y-You're the only one ― "

"I know that but when you touch yourself, pretty baby," he glanced up when you tensed, "I know you do. Tell me do you get this wet?"

"O-Only when I think of you," you admitted before you could think twice about it. You felt your cheeks burn at your own admission but Taehyung cursed and grunted as he squeezed his cock.

"You're such a good girl," he praised, fingertips trailing up your body again. Goosebumps ignited across your skin and you arched your back to get more of the feeling of his touch.

His fingers eagerly dipped back between your thighs to find your entrance. You whimpered when he immediately slipped a single digit inside. It felt nice but unfulfilling.

He pulled his finger out and circled it over your clit ― using your own juices to lubricate the movement. You hummed, eyes fluttering as he circled the bud several times. When your thighs began to tense, he pushed his finger back inside.

He continued the teasing until you were whining beneath him. Suddenly he pressed his thumb against the bud, circling and pressing against it relentlessly.

"I'm gonna cum!" you warned, your eyes squeezing shut.

"Go ahead, pretty baby," he urged, not pausing in his torture of your clit.

You came quickly, arching and trembling on the bed. Your cunt was empty, gushing and clenching around nothing. His touches on your clit slowed until they stopped all together.

You figured he'd give you a moment to recover but, he was suddenly sliding two fingers inside you. You were so wet from your orgasm, your cum slicking down his fingers and onto the bed. You sobbed, grinding your hips into his touch. He didn't try touching your clit or your spot, showing that much mercy. Instead, he leaned down to envelop a perked nipple in his mouth while he scissored his fingers, stretching you a bit more.

You hummed, cupping the back of his head to keep him in place. He didn't seem to mind, beginning to fuck his two fingers into you faster.

"A-Another, please," you requested, whimpered when he immediately did so.

There was a slight, tiny burn that immediately gave way to pleasure. His palm pressed against your clit ― still so sensitive that it made you tremble. As he fucked you with his fingers, he switched to give your other breast attention.

Your hips jerked with his every movement, following the pace he'd set. Every time he brushed your g-spot and you whined, he would laugh.

He took so much enjoyment in your pleasure it was almost baffling. You were always sure that men would be selfish and unsatisfying in bed but Taehyung was nothing but attentive.

Perhaps he was right; he was better than any human man.

"Cum again for me," he purred, swiping his tongue along your chest before meeting your neck.

The feeling of his fingers and teeth on your neck had you inching closer to the edge of the abyss.

"T-Tae, please," you whined, grinding your hips down, "T-Touch me, please."

He hummed, moving his thumb to press against your clit. The simple touch set you off and you were coming once again beneath him. Your body was on fire, sweat sticking to you and making you pant. It crested beautifully and faded out into trembles and whines.

He didn't remove his fingers, instead beginning to nudge a fourth into you ― his pinky finger. His eyes met yours, keeping his eyes on your face as he stretched you further than he had before. The width of his hand was bordering on painful but you found it highly enjoyable. His thumb continued to circle your clit even as you sobbed in overstimulation. Your spasming walls eagerly accepted the new stretch and you found yourself relaxing into it.

He was quickly going to send you to another orgasm but before you could fall off the edge again, he removed his thumb. You whined, grinding your hips to chase the feeling. His eyes drifted down to where his fingers were buried into you, smoothing two of his fingers from his free hand over your folds.

"Stretched so wide," he muttered, scooping up some of your cum on the digits and popping them in his mouth. Your walls squeezed his fingers in response to his display.

He suddenly pulled his fingers out and you cried out at being empty so fast. Your walls weren't able to close properly and you closed your thighs at the feeling.

Instead of stopping you, Taehyung stepped off the bed. Your mouth went dry when he unbuttoned his jeans and began to shuffle them down his thighs.

You realized he wasn't wearing underwear when his cock popped free ― flushed incredibly red at the head and leaking precum down the shaft. He visibly shuddered when his cock was free from its confines and he quickly wrapped his hand around himself ― giving himself a few good squeezes.

He was just as big as you thought. His fingers didn't meet when wrapped around the girth. He was wider than his four fingers and so long that you found yourself whimpering at the thought of him drilling into you that deep.

"You still think you can take me, little one?" he asked, crawling on the bed to kneel in front of you still clenched thighs.

"Y-Yeah...want it," you let your legs fall open, showing him your flushed and swollen cunt.

Her cursed, tapping the fat head of his cock against your cunt. You whimpered when you saw just how big it was compared to your own pussy. He was surely going to rip you in half but damn if you wouldn't enjoy every second.

His precum mixed with your cum as he slid his shaft between your folds, getting the underside of him nice and wet. You whimpered, feeling him grinding against your clit bringing you close to the orgasm you'd been denied.

Before you could fall into it, he positioned his tip at your entrance. Prodding ever so slightly, he sighed at the feeling of your heat against him. You spread your legs wider for him as he began to press inside.

You cried out, clutching the sheets beneath you as he stretched you wide open. The head of him was so thick, bordering on painful. You reached out to stop him from going any further, gritting your teeth at the feeling.

"You're okay," he whispered, shifting back so he pulled out of you.

You breathed heavily, relaxing once more as he circled your clit with his thumb. As your eyes fluttered, he began to press back inside. You whined as he pushed past what he had been, thumb not letting up on your clit. You walls spasmed around him, making him groan as you began to tremble.

The head of him popped inside and you cried out as you were sent over the edge. Taehyung's body fell over yours, catching himself on his hands beside your head. You sobbed, tears filling your eyes at the pleasure of being stretched as you were.

Taehyung's mouth fell open as he felt you cum around the head of his cock. When you calmed down to just little sniffles and whimpers, he leaned down to press his lips against your neck.

"You okay, baby?" he whispered. You nodded, reaching up to cup his cheeks and pull him into a soft kiss.

He took that as his cue to sink further into you. The flare on the head of his cock was the thickest part of him and it felt much easier for the rest of him to slide in. He nudged your cervix and when you flinched at the pain, he pulled back slightly.

"Look at that," he chuckled looking between your bodies. Following his gaze, your eyes widened, "You can't even fit all of me inside you, little one."

He was right, you'd only managed to fit half his cock inside you. Your walls clenched around him at that.

"Feels so good, Tae," you whispered, feeling his cock twitch against your walls.

He grinned, moving his hips gently, sinking in as far as he comfortably could before pulling back out. Although he wasn't able to fit in you completely, he still found himself groaning against you

"Such a tight little cunt," he growled, nipping at your jaw, "Took me so well, like a good girl."

You began to grind your hips up as he sunk into you and he growled. Sitting back on his heels, he soothed his hand over your body to soothe you.

You cursed loudly when he snapped his hips much harder into you ― testing how much you could take. When you gushed and spasmed around him, he took that as a sign to keep going. You moaned so beautifully for him, body reacting like a dream to his every touch and movement.

Cunt stretched wide and stuffed full of cock, you couldn't even think of anything else. You felt drunk, dizzy and lightheaded. Taehyung cooed when you slurred out his name, swiping his thumb over your bottom lip to collect some drool there.

"You're so cute," he grinned, breaking out into a moan when you clenched him tight, "All you can think about is my cock, huh?"

"'S so good..." you whispered, the words coming out almost breathlessly.

"I know, baby," he replied, licking his lips as he moved to his cock pounding you open wider than you should have been able to take, "You're gushing and squeezing me so nice. Are you gonna cum? Can you cum for me?"

You swallowed and nodded, whining when he hit your cervix. It hurt but it blended in with the pleasure. Mindlessly, you reached down to find your clit ― intent on sending yourself over the edge.

"No, no baby," he cooed, brushing your fingers away, "You'll cum without touching your pretty clit, yeah?"

"C-Can't," you sobbed, tears leaking out of the corner of your eyes.

"I think you can," he muttered, smoothing his hand over your lower stomach. "Fuck, look at that, babygirl."

You lazily followed his gaze to where his hand laid. Your cunt clenched at the sight of your stomach bulging every time he sunk in ― his cock literally molding you around it. You gasped, your high bubbling in your stomach.

"Wanna cum!" you cried, attempting to reach down and circle your clit again only to be stopped once more.

"I said no, little one," he snapped, pinning your hands above your head as he loomed above you, "You can do it. Cum for me."

Your body went still, focusing on the feeling of his cock filling you and stretching you. His cock was so big that he didn't even have to try to reach any good spots within you.

Astoundingly, you shrieked as your orgasm finally washed over you. Taehyung cursed in your ear, fucking you ruthlessly through the high. Distantly, you felt wetness splatter between your thighs and coat both of you. You chanted his name as you squirmed and writhed at the overwhelming pleasure.

"Shit, I'm― " Taehyung's warning was cut off by a groan.

His weight fell on you fully and he hid his face in your neck as he came. You hugged him against you, still trembling as he pumped his hot cum into you. There was so much, his cock keeping his cum plugged inside you. You gasped and twitched as you felt your stomach bloat over so slightly. You walls clenched around him, the idea of him filling you so much sending you into another quiet orgasm.

It was less spectacular than the others, but still left you gasping of air. Taehyung groaned in your ear as he felt you cum around his sensitive cock once again ― forcing a couple more spurts out of him to add.

It seemed like forever until his body finally relaxed. He continued to hold you, pressing kisses against any place he possibly could.

"That was...nice..." you muttered, making him laugh as he rolled off of you.

Your mouth fell open as he pulled his cock out ― it ached, there was no denying it. There was a gush of his cum, so much of it that it formed of pool beneath you. Your cheeks felt hot as Taehyung watched his cum pour out of your abused hole.

"Who knew my little human girl could take so much?" he teased, enjoyed the way you squirmed in embarrassment, "Want to take a shower?"

"Only if you will with me," you offered with a tired voice, watching his face morph into an expression of confusion.

"Is that some type of human thing?" he asked, sitting up and stretching his muscles.

"Apparently so," you whispered.

"Hey..." he paused from getting off of the bed. "You...you'll be here a while, right?"

"What do you mean?" you asked, clenching your thighs shut as you felt your core begin to burn and ache as you came back to yourself.

"Like...you won't have to go back to Earth any time, right?" his voice sounded small, almost fragile.

"I'll stay as long as I want to," you reassured, leaning over to kiss him but freezing before you could.

"What is it?" he asked, frowning.

"I'm just really fucking sore," you mumbled, flushing when he burst out laughing.

"Ah, my cute little human," he cooed, kissing your nose.

#bts smut #taehyung smut #bts scenarios #taehyung scenarios #bts imagines #bts reactions #bts preferences #taehyung imagines #taehyung reactions #taehyung preferences #v smut #v imagines #v scenarios #v reactions #v preferences #taehyung fanfic #v fanfic #bts fanfic #taehyung x reader #v x reader

[blkmxrvel]

Haven’t Forgotten My Way Home (22) - [CONVERTED]

Pairing: Kara Zor-El x Female!Reader

Summary: In the D/s society of National City, men and women abandoned by their Dom/mes or otherwise deemed unfit for life “outside” end up at the Mount Overland House for Orphaned Submissives. It is here that Kara Zor-El finds Y/N Hastings, broken and fearful from mistreatment at the hands of her former Dom. Can Kara coax Y/N back into the world that once so terrified her, and show her the true meaning of care and submission?

Warnings: Domestic Violence (Flashbacks, Mentions and Descriptions), Misogyny, Domination/Submission.

Miss Kara held fast to her hand – discreetly – as she and Y/N walked down the hallway of the administrative building, toward the room where Lena said she would meet them, along with Y/N’s advocate. Y/N’s eyes darted this way and that, at all of the people passing by them, feeling a little nervous that someone would stop and ask her just what she was doing with Miss Kara. She still didn’t really understand how Miss Kara could get into trouble with their relationship, yet she was determined to protect her as much as she could. Y/N didn’t think she could be taken away from Miss Kara, but that didn’t mean she was going to test that theory. But Miss Kara strode forward, her jaw set and her eyes determined, as if she was on a mission.

It had taken Y/N two hours to calm Miss Kara down after the phone call from Maggie. She’d been alternately angry and inconsolable, pacing up and down her fathers’ living room floor, gesturing wildly as words Y/N had never heard before came spilling out. She wanted to go to the council and demand that Alex recuse herself, but really there was no precedent for that. Alex wasn’t a lawyer, she could choose to advocate for anyone she wished. That didn’t make it right, Miss Kara had snapped, when David Zor-El had pointed it out. Her fathers had tried to talk to her, giving various reasons why Alex would’ve chosen to represent the man who had hurt Y/N, but Miss Kara had been so personally hurt that she couldn’t stop ranting enough to listen to their arguments.

At one point she had turned to Y/N.

“Why aren’t you angry?” she’d asked simply.

And Y/N had just shrugged. “I-I’m used to it?”

That had sent Miss Kara on another bout of tears, and Y/N ended up sat on the couch in the living room, cuddling her close and stroking her hair. That she wasn’t used to, but it was nice, to feel like for once she could be the comforting one, even if what she had said was true. She hadn’t been all that surprised to hear that Alex would be assisting in James’s defense. Y/N knew that Miss Kara was taking it as some sort of betrayal, but for Y/N life before had been a constant expectation of betrayal.

It was hard to be let down when you believed that’s the way things were always supposed to be.

And now three days later, it was time for Y/N to start her case against the one who had let her down the most.

She was filled with nervous energy, and also a kind of dread. For the last few days she’d been trying to imagine what it would be like to finally face him. Each time she thought of it she’d ended up shaking, and had to find something to calm herself down. Miss Kara had tried to talk to her about it once or twice, but each time she’d had to cuddle Y/N and whisper soft words to her, or sing to her, to keep the girl out of her own head.

The door at the end of the hall read 108. Miss Kara squeezed Y/N’s hand with a smile, knocked on the door and opened it, stepping inside with Y/N hanging back a little.

“Kara!” the dark-haired woman said, standing up from the desk. Y/N quirked an eyebrow, sure that Lena didn’t actually work there, but Lena was certainly acting like she owned the place in the way that she came around the desk and walked over to them.

Lena was smartly dressed in a black suit, with perfect hair and a casual, almost smirk on her face as Miss Kara accepted Lena’s hug, allowing herself to be folded up and held for entirely too long, and Y/N felt something rise in her stomach that she’d never felt before.

“And this must be Y/N,” Lena said warmly, at last separating from Miss Kara and smiling at her. “I’m Lena; it’s wonderful to finally meet the girl Kara constantly talks about.”

Miss Kara had told Y/N all about Lena, about her training and how that had blossomed into a romantic and sexual relationship. She’d been completely honest about everything, and careful to reassure Y/N that those feelings were long gone, replaced by something maybe just as strong but completely different. She wasn’t a mother, Miss Kara had explained, because that would be just awkward; but she was more than a friend, too. Y/N wasn’t sure she understood it, and so she found herself looking from Lena to Miss Kara, and back again.

“Mine,” Y/N blurted out, pointing to Miss Kara, and Lena’s eyebrows rose. “M-mine.”

The sound was instant, like a gunshot in the quiet room.

Miss Kara snapped her fingers, and then pointed to the floor, and Y/N sank to her knees. She found the form Miss Kara loved, with her hands open resting on her thighs, but she couldn’t bring herself to look up.

They’d discussed this earlier, when Miss Kara had talked to her about Lena, and also about Y/N’s relationship with Miss Kara not being limited to just her home. Y/N hated public punishment, because all she had to go on was what James had made her endure in front of his friends. But Miss Kara had promised her that if it was ever needed, she’d only correct her in front of Lena behind closed doors, and Y/N knew Miss Kara would never take advantage of it the way James had. So she had agreed.

“You thought to embarrass me by speaking to my friend that way?” Miss Kara asked, and Y/N’s cheeks flooded hot with shame, even as Miss Kara’s hand was soft and gentle on her shoulder.

Touch was important, they’d discovered together. Y/N craved it, needed it, and no matter what was happening, whether she was being punished or they were playing a game or fixing dinner, Miss Kara was sure to touch Y/N frequently. It was usually just a hand, resting steady on her, or sometimes a light brush of her hair or cheek. It didn’t matter what it was; it meant Miss Kara was there. And it even made punishment not so bad.

Not so bad.

“No, Miss Kara,” Y/N said. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t need your apology,” Miss Kara said, and reached down to lift Y/N’s chin so that she was looking directly at Lena.

Y/N nodded, the implication understood. She shifted a little on her knees, and then sighed. “I’m sorry, Lena,” she said quietly. “I was disrespectful to you and embarrassed Miss Kara. I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right, Y/N,” and she glanced at her in surprise, hearing the slight tone of amusement in Lena’s voice, coupled by a twinkle in her eyes. Y/N had expected anger, harshness, not… near merriment. “It’s evident Kara has told you about us, and believe me, I can understand how you must feel.”

Y/N nodded miserably. It was strange, this feeling that what if Miss Kara wanted Lena instead of her, especially when Y/N knew she’d be nowhere good enough… She found herself breaking form, reaching her hand up to her shoulder. Miss Kara’s fingers grasped hers and squeezed, before releasing.

“Hand down, little one.”

“Yes, Miss Kara.” Y/N looked back at Lena.

“You don’t have anything to worry about,” Lena said; she moved to place her hand on Y/N’s head, but was stopped when Miss Kara’s hand came to rest there instead.

“Mine,” Kara said.

Y/N fought back a grin. It was okay. They were okay.

“Kara and I are no longer lovers,” Lena continued, with a roll of her eyes. “I love Kara, but not like that. I’m with someone now, someone wonderful, who is pregnant with our child.” Behind Y/N, Miss Kara squeaked, and Lena’s smile grew wider. “So you needn’t worry, Y/N. I believe wholeheartedly that Kara is, in fact, completely yours, and that she doesn’t want it any other way.”

Y/N ducked her head, smiling down at the carpet as the shamed blush of her cheeks gave way to Lena’s gentle reassurances. She nodded. “Thank you, Lena. I really am sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. You can get up now, Y/N.”

She stayed on her knees.

Miss Kara lightly stroked Y/N’s hair. “You can get up now, little one,” she said, and Y/N rose to her feet.

Lena chuckled, and there was a smirk on Miss Kara’s face as she regarded Y/N. “Good girl,” she said, and gave her a quick kiss. Y/N searched her face and saw no sign of anger; Miss Kara cupped her cheek with her hand.

“You have nothing to worry about,” she reiterated, looking into Y/N’s eyes, and Y/N nodded. Miss Kara kissed her again and hugged Y/N close.

“Well, Lena?” she said over Y/N’s shoulder. “What do you think?”

“Does it matter what I think?” Lena had moved to sit on the edge of the desk with her legs crossed as she looked at Y/N and Miss Kara. “All that matters is what you and Y/N think.”

“I still want to know,” Miss Kara insisted, and Y/N looked at Lena.

Lena smiled. “She’s beautiful. And apparently takes orders from no one else but you.”

“That’s right,” Y/N said, lifting her chin.

Miss Kara laughed and pulled Y/N over to one of the leather couches up against the wall of the office. They sat down and Miss Kara wrapped her arm around Y/N’s shoulders. “I like it that way,” she said. “And I like to be the only one giving the orders.”

“Noted,” Lena said, laughing, and Y/N decided that she liked her.

“I’m proud of you, Kara. By what I’ve seen just now, you’re taking everything I said to heart. You’re really coming into your own.”

“Thank you, Miss Lena,” Miss Kara said, and as foreign as that sounded to Y/N, she recognized the dynamic that was still in play between the two of them. She guessed Lena was something of a mentor, and there was a connection that Y/N couldn’t hope to understand, a connection she’d probably never share with Miss Kara.

But it didn’t seem to matter, because Miss Kara had said “mine.”

Claim or not, Y/N was hers.

Kara’s former Dominant turned her attention back to Y/N. “Kara says you’ve been improving with your therapy, I’m glad to hear that.”

Y/N looked at Miss Kara, wondering what else she’d told Lena, but it didn’t really matter. Miss Kara was smiling with pride at her, and it made Y/N feel suddenly shy, made her want to bury her face in Miss Kara’s neck.

“It’s hard,” Y/N admitted, “Sometimes it still hurts to walk and I get tired easily, but I haven’t used the chair in a long time. Brainy says my strength will come back the more I walk, and Miss Kara makes sure I get plenty of rest.”

As she’d done yesterday, after Y/N had gone out to lunch with Kelly, she thought with a small smile. Kelly had had the day off and so they’d stayed away from the mall, preferring instead to go to a little Italian restaurant on the other side of town. They’d ended up lingering for a few hours and probably annoying the waiters, but it had been fun. It was nice for Y/N to finally have someone to talk to, but she couldn’t deny that a part of her felt strange about being friends with a Dominant, someone who wasn’t hers. It was weird to not have any formality with Kelly, even though Y/N tried to stay polite and respectful, because she expected that of herself, whether Kelly was her Domme or not. That was the hardest part of navigating this “new world,” for Y/N. For so long it had just been Y/N and James. With James’s friends he was Sir, if she had to go for medical treatment he was Sir. He was the only Sir. Her interactions with anyone else had been limited to necessity, or the people he wanted her to come into contact with. She was constantly on her guard, trying to keep from angering him by showing even the tiniest amount of disrespect to him or to his friends. Other than that, the rule had been don’t talk. Ever. And if you were spoken to, use the smallest amount of words possible. Now every day she was expected to talk to people, from Miss Kara to Nia to Kelly to the waiter who had taken their order, and for Y/N it was a constant war in her head, trying to figure out how she was meant to talk to everyone.

Kelly for her part had been happy and breathless, because she’d called her old boyfriend Mike the day before, and they’d arranged a date. Her excitement was infectious, and Y/N couldn’t remember the last time she’d been able to laugh and giggle with someone that wasn’t Miss Kara, and so it had been a good day.

But she’d been overwhelmingly tired when she finally made it to Miss Kara’s for the evening, so much so that Miss Kara had nearly sent her back to Nia’s to sleep. But Y/N had begged, and finally Miss Kara relented. Y/N had fallen asleep a half hour into the visit, with her head on Miss Kara’s lap. When she woke up the next morning, she discovered that Miss Kara had slept sitting up on the couch, so she wouldn’t have to move.

“Well, you need to preserve your strength,” Lena was saying, and her smile had disappeared as she gave Y/N a sobering look. “Are you ready for this?”

She felt Miss Kara’s arm tighten around her as Y/N considered Lena’s question. Was she ready for it? The idea of facing James chilled her, and Y/N shivered. But the chance to finally, maybe see him own up to what he had done? She didn’t know if he would though. Part of her said that James would never admit to it, that he would never realize he’d done anything wrong. And part of her wondered what she would do if he did admit to it, and apologized.

Pigs would fly before that ever happened, she knew.

So Y/N shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Well then we’ll just have to help you get ready,” Miss Kara said soothingly. “That’s why we’re here. And… someone else is not.” She looked at Lena.

“It’s been a rough morning.”

“Is a submissive really representing me?” Y/N wondered aloud, her eyes wide.

It seemed almost incomprehensible to her, even though she knew that submissives worked, that they had jobs. David was chief of staff of a hospital, for goodness’ sake. Still, the idea of a submissive helping her stand up to James…

“Well, she’s not just any submissive,” Lena said, once again smirking. “She’s—“

At that moment the door flew open, so hard that it bounced off the wall on the opposite side, and the brunette woman entering the room glowered, her hands on her jean-clad hips, at the three women who had been waiting for her.

“All right,” she said. “A parasite the size of a pea has kept me throwing up in the bathroom for the last two hours, and yesterday Madam made me start drinking decaf. How soon can we kill this James bastard?”

Y/N blinked. “I-I think she’ll do.”

“Sam,” Lena said drily, indicating the woman who immediately crossed the floor over to her and accepted a kiss. “My love, one of the mothers of our child, and my brat.”

“If I promise not to be a brat for the rest of our daughter or son’s natural life can I please have a coffee? A real one?”

“No.”

“Coke?”

“No.”

“Coffee bean? Just one?”

“Sam.”

“Fine, just for that I’m a brat.”

“I didn’t expect anything less. And I made you some decaf.”

Y/N watched, her mouth open a little, as Sam grinned and kissed Lena soundly on the lips. “Thank you, Madam,” she said, her voice softening into a slightly more submissive tone. Going behind the desk she made quick work of pouring out coffee from the thermos, and then looked at Y/N.

“He was a dick,” she announced, and Y/N briefly wondered when Sam had had time to talk to Maggie. “And we’re going to shrink it down a few inches.”

“Sam,” Lena said again with a shake of her head. “Why don’t you tell us all how you plan to help Y/N, instead of indulging in your vulgar fantasies?”

“That wasn’t a vulgar fantasy,” Sam said, taking a drink of her coffee. “You want vulgar fantasies wait till I get you alone, Madam.”

“Is she always like this?” Miss Kara asked, laughing at Lena’s snort of exasperation.

“All day, every day.”

“I’ve read your file,” Sam said to Y/N, moving to sit on the floor in front of the couch and look up at her. She tilted her head back toward the desk, where a manila folder was resting, unnoticed earlier. “It’s from when you first arrived at the House. Gave me a pretty good indication of what the fucker did to you. Scars on your back and legs, think they called that ‘evidence of being severely beaten, possibly as a result of improper use of implements.’ He broke your right arm. Twice. When that truck hit you, you already had a broken rib that had never reset properly. And under emotional trauma, ‘unknown, most likely severe and damaging.’”

“I-I don’t want to hear anymore,” Y/N stuttered, shrinking back into Miss Kara, who kissed the top of her head and made soft noises of comfort.

She both wanted to see the file and burn it, to read the black and white account of what he’d done to her, and watch it filter up in smoke so she could pretend it never existed.

“I know,” Sam said sympathetically, and she reached out to touch Y/N’s knee. Y/N didn’t flinch, and Sam smiled at her a little.

“But you’re going to hear that and worse at the trial, kid. I’m just trying to prepare you.”

“How bad do you think it’ll be?” Kara asked.

“Now that your best friend is helping to represent him, it’s not going to be pretty, and that’s the best I can give you.”

“Sam’s the best advocate you could have, Y/N,” Lena said, and Sam shot her a grateful look. “And I’m not saying that because she’s my girl. I’m saying it because she’s good, and she’s not afraid.”

“I-I’m not either,” Y/N said, sitting up a little straighter, and once again Sam patted her knee.

“Yeah, you are,” she said, and raised her hand when Y/N started to object. “I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but you are scared, and you’ve got damn good reason to be. I had a rough relationship or two before I met Madam, but they were nothing like what you’ve been through.”

Sam stood up and walked back to the desk, picking up Y/N’s file. “Nothing like what’s in this. So if I were you I’d be scared.” She threw the file back onto the desk and rested her palms on the wood, leaning forward. For a split second Y/N thought she almost looked like she was readying herself for a spanking.

“But I’m not scared,” Sam said, and Y/N knew she was telling the truth. “I’m not scared of James Olsen, and you’re going to have your day in court, Y/N. When I get through with you you’re going to be able to look him in the eyes and let everyone know what he did to you. He’s not getting away with it, Y/N.”

Looking at Sam, and hearing the confident way in which she spoke, made Y/N almost inclined to believe her. Here was a submissive, strong and bratty, secure in the relationship she had with her Dominant, but more importantly, secure in herself. It was apparent in the way Sam walked, in how she talked, her take-no-prisoners way of interacting with life and everyone around her. Y/N didn’t think she could ever dream of being that bratty with Miss Kara, but for Sam it seemed to be easy – because she knew what to expect from Lena, and she knew that… Lena wouldn’t be mean to her? For Y/N, being with Miss Kara was still something like navigating a minefield. Every day she grew a little more comfortable with their dynamic, but still in the back of her mind was always that worry, that fear that she’d do something wrong. But with Sam… it was almost like she knew she’d do things wrong, but that was okay. Because the relationship she had with Lena made even getting things wrong… not that big of a deal.

“Because they confront it and move on,” Miss Kara said later that night when Y/N talked to her about it, and she snuggled Y/N closer on the couch. “Discipline and correction doesn’t mean that I can remind you of it two weeks after the fact, Y/N. I’m not going to punish you and hold it over your head months later, unless you repeat the same behavior that you were punished for initially. I don’t hold grudges, little one, and they don’t have any place in a relationship like this.”

“H-he’ll bring up everything I did wrong,” Y/N said, her arms tight around Miss Kara’s waist. “And everyone will hear it and they’ll know—“

“They’ll know that none of this was your fault,” Kara said firmly.

“But what if they don’t? What if all they see is me and everything he says and—“

“Come with me.”

Miss Kara stood up suddenly, and Y/N pouted, annoyed at the lack of warm contact, but also more than a little worried. Miss Kara’s voice had taken on That Tone, and Y/N wondered what she had done that warranted punishment.

“Miss Kara? I-I’m sorry?”

“Shh.” Miss Kara took her hand and led Y/N into the guest bedroom, stopping just in front of the wide mirror on the wall that spanned the width of the dresser underneath it. She stepped behind Y/N and turned her to face the mirror.

“What do you see?”

Y/N shook her head and looked away. “I don’t want to…”

“I know. What do you see?”

Y/N sighed, and looked. She made a face, watching as her reflection wrinkled up its nose. Her nose. “I don’t like my nose,” she said. “James always said it was too big. And… my chest is too small; he always said there was nothing for him to do anything with.” She let her eyes scan her body, and she shook her head. “My skin is all wrong, my butt is too big. My thighs, I… can we stop, I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“In just a moment,” Miss Kara said, and moved so that her arms were wrapped around Y/N’s waist from behind, and her chin rested on Y/N’s shoulder.

“Do you want to know how I see you?”

Y/N nodded, and Miss Kara kissed her cheek. “I see a beautiful young woman. I see a perfect, cute little button nose.” She reached around to bop it with her finger, and Y/N giggled. “I see the most striking Y/E/C eyes I’ve ever seen, and your chest…” Miss Kara cleared her throat, and Y/N thought she detected a faint blush on her cheeks. She grinned in spite of herself. “Let’s just say that your chest and your rear end are absolutely lovely, and he had no clue what he was talking about. Your skin is beautiful, your smile is gorgeous. Everything about you, Y/N, is amazing.”

“Yes, but—“

“I’m not finished,” Miss Kara reprimanded, and Y/N snapped her mouth shut. “Our image of ourselves is always going to be different from what is reflected to others. James saw you as one thing. I see you as something completely different. There are people at that trial who are going to see James’s side. They’re going to be idiots, but that’s beside the point. I know you think it’s all your fault, but there are those of us who know that it isn’t, and you’ll find out at the trial that more people will believe you than you think. They’ll see you for the beautiful woman I know and love.”

“Love?” Y/N whispered, staring at Miss Kara’s reflection in the mirror.

Miss Kara smiled, though it seemed a little sad. “Just try to trust me,” she said, and kissed Y/N’s cheek again.

“Now come on, you can help me fix dinner.”

“Yes, Miss Kara.”

Hours later, Y/N lay in her bed, words coursing through her head and keeping her from sleep. Strength. Trust. Trial. James. Fear.

But most of all, Miss Kara.

And love.

#supergirl #supergirl x reader #kara danvers x reader #kara zor el x reader #kara danvers #madi converts #kara zor el

[ahopefuldoubt]

The Prince of Egypt MBTI Profiles

Finally done!  From a 2018 draft; notes and MBTI learning from 2016-2020.

Miriam: ENFJ  (Fe-Ni-Se-Ti)

Judging functional axis: Extraverted Feeling/Introverted Thinking Fe-Ti

Miriam is a warm-hearted advocate; insightful, inspiring, and active.  She wants to effect (and see others effect) positive change in the world.  Forthcoming with her opinions and emotions, at times she can be a bit forceful with them, sometimes rolling over others, or not immediately considering their perspectives or feelings, in an effort to get her point across or get things done (Fe-Ti dynamic; can come across as an “I know best” kind of attitude, which to be fair Miriam pretty much does) — one example of this is the well scene with Moses.

As a function, Fe is focused on the external world and making people-factored decisions and judgments: Fe dominants especially are concerned with what others should and shouldn’t be doing and with promoting cooperation (the higher any function is in someone’s stack, the more natural influence and use — “dominance“ — it has).  At various points in the film, Miriam becomes disapproving and stern with Moses and Aaron, the latter when he’s confronting Moses with his critical outburst (“Aaron. You shame yourself.”).  This is perhaps a demonstration of Fe-Ti taking-a-stand and/or inferior Ti: Miriam swiftly taking Aaron to task for his doubting, disharmonizing words against Moses, overlooking their value/validity and his viewpoint.  With Moses, as shown in both the well and mud pit scenes, she knows what his role is, encouraging and reminding him to act within it, connecting his responsibility to their people, and affirming his tie to them.

Miriam tends to speak in ways that appeal to human connections and welfare, as evinced by the sensitive speech she gives to Moses, in which she expresses the pain of her experience as a slave, and recounts Gd’s presence in his/their lives.  She tends to put others’ needs before her own, at the same time knowing how to defend herself and to trust her judgment, is loving and reassuring, and can rally people together through low and lofty times.

Perceiving functional axis: Introverted Intuition/Extraverted Sensing Ni-Se

When Moses returns to Egypt, Miriam seems to just know why he’s come back (knew he would come back, even), perhaps also from taking in his robes and other aspects of his physical appearance.  It’s comparable to when Moses first shows up in Goshen years before: She sees the broader implications of his homecoming, why he must be here at last.  Her sight is forward-reaching and personally meaningful; a specific goal that she's determined and focused on, grounded by both her faith and observations of the world around her.  She knows how things should/could be, how she wants them to be, and takes actions in the present to make those things a reality.

Miriam believes in others’ — particularly Moses’ — potential (“And you are, Moses. You are the deliverer.”), which is a further reflection of her Ni.  Though able to reconcile and adapt to changes when they occur (Ni-Se being adjacent functions in an ENFJ), it is nonetheless indicative of an Ni-Se dynamic that Miriam becomes stressed during the well scene when current reality and facts — that Moses wasn’t told who he is and hasn’t returned to help them obtain freedom — don’t match up with her beliefs/ideals or the underlying truth.  She understandably protests this unexpected change, and can’t/won’t let go of what she has put her hopes in, and been fortified by, for so long.  She doesn’t actually let go, but I think it does make her want to fight for these hopes more… and, in this scene and others, push Moses to achieve his promise.

Aaron: ISFJ  (Si-Fe-Ti-Ne)

Perceiving functional axis: Introverted Sensing/Extraverted Intuition Si-Ne

Aaron is practical, reliable, protective of family and others; trusting of personal experience and wary of what is new or uncertain.  Because these two naturally opposing functions, Si and Ne, are also located on opposite ends of an ISFJ’s stack, resolving the tension between them is more difficult, and this is true for Aaron, whose own journey involves overcoming his fear and becoming more open to trust and faith, stepping out of his comfort zone.

Aaron tends to make concrete, habitually self-sacrificing, gestures and actions.  He cares about others and their physical safety; it is Miriam he most clearly looks after, but this includes Tzipporah, Moses, and the Hebrew community (a camel, too).  While Miriam is often the sibling on the front lines, and, after resisting the call at first, Moses eventually comes to accept his position as a leader, Aaron plays a more supportive role, and is the one whom the other two can count on in times of need.

When Moses returns to Egypt, Aaron immediately calls attention to how Moses behaved in the past, believing and perhaps also fearing that his younger brother hasn’t changed.  Si-doms reference meaningful past details to understand the present, noticing consistencies and inconsistencies.  It’s telling that Aaron hasn’t let go of events from years ago, and that he draws a comparison between what happened and what is happening: the way Moses treated Miriam, and that he didn’t care about slaves.

His inferior Ne manifests in his fearful, cautious attitude towards things that seem to him unfamiliar or unrealistic (such as Miriam’s beliefs about Moses), and in his inclination to expect all possible negative outcomes, which are based in his (objectively negative) known, prior experiences.  One example is the well scene, but also the Nile to blood scene where Aaron despairs, rather realistically, that Pharaoh still has the power over their lives.  (I’ve thought about whether he’s in an Ne-grip, or even a Ti-loop, for most of the film.)  However, once he starts to experience with his own senses that freedom is attainable, tangible, he starts to trust these changes, challenging his established security and his courage by walking into the parted waters of the Red Sea.

Judging functional axis: Extraverted Feeling/Introverted Thinking Fe-Ti

While more reserved and even-tempered than Miriam, Aaron in general does not withhold how he feels, expressing his opinions, fears, anger, affection, joy.  He is mindful of his and his people’s position within Egyptian-dominated society (certainly dominant Si-related too), to the point of affirming his, Miriam’s, and Moses’ roles when Moses appears in Goshen — an attempt to mitigate their very tense interaction with perhaps a bit too accommodating desire for group harmony.  Aaron makes decisions based on values and how people relate to one another.  For example, during the same scene his plea to Moses is an emotional one; as in, Aaron is calling to Moses’ mercy, trying to reach with Miriam’s appearance of illness some compassionate part of this threatening prince.

Aaron makes a similar, albeit angrier, appeal to Moses during the mud pit scene, this time rousing, whether he knows it or not, Moses’ sense of guilt and morality, and asking when Moses started caring about slaves.  (I’ve always felt like there’s a resemblance between Aaron’s and Miriam’s scolding/“shaming” styles.)  While still speaking to concerns that affect people, Aaron is able to form analytical conclusions, checking logic and what “makes sense” (other illustrations: “In fact, Moses, when did you start caring about slaves?”, and, “But, Moses, didn’t you see what happened? …”).  He uses his Fe-Ti to assert himself during the mud pit scene, a kind of “sounding off” that shows that he’s reached the point where he won’t be silent any longer (it doesn’t help that he’s had to sit on these emotions for years).

Moses: ISFP  (Fi-Se-Ni-Te)

Judging functional axis: Introverted Feeling/Extraverted Thinking Fi-Te

Sensitive and just, impulsive and good-natured, Moses typically acts and reflects upon a deep and personal(ized) sense of values, of “right and wrong.”  He defends Rameses by taking responsibility for their mischief; he knows to feel remorse after he’s mistreated Tzipporah at the banquet.  When Moses finds out the truth about his origins, he is appalled by Seti’s use of infanticide.  With Tuya he asks, “Is this where you found me?”, again calling attention to the wrongness he feels.  And of course, he takes a stand against oppression.  Like Miriam and Aaron, Moses factors how people relate to one another into his decisions (all three siblings are Feelers, though Miriam and Aaron use Fe, not Fi).

Furthermore, Moses tends to share his strong feelings more privately; his one-to-one interactions with Rameses suggest this.  Not only does “All I Ever Wanted” act as a mustering of personal conviction, “this is who/what I am,” it’s also Moses’ inner monologue wherein and whereafter he sits and processes his emotions on his own.

Moses is quick to internalize blame when things go wrong, which of course anyone can do, but in Moses’ case this points to (especially dominant) Fi’s concern with upholding its integrity.  Part of his running away from Egypt is spurred on by these blows to his sense of self/self-worth and morality.  (He’s troubled by his own ignorance and identity upheaval.)  Under the guidance of Jethro and his people, Moses rediscovers and redefines his values, learning to see himself objectively — “Through Heaven’s Eyes” — as well as the dignity of every life.  His encounter with Gd and conversations with Tzipporah and Rameses allow him to reckon with the fact that he truly must “learn to join the dance” and cannot remove himself from the world nor neglect doing what he knows is right.  It’s in his later confrontations with Rameses that he’s able to step up and express his values and wishes in a firm, organized way.

Perceiving functional axis: Extraverted Sensing/Introverted Intuition Se-Ni

As a teenager, Moses is a reckless seeker of sensory experiences, pursuing enjoyment in the here-and-now and competition alongside Rameses (“Oh, come on. Where’s your sense of fun?”).  He follows Tzipporah out of intrigue — as well as a desire to make amends.  His humiliating Tzipporah can be seen as not thinking about the impact of his whims.  Even so, a healthier auxiliary Se shows in how he’s able to see the facts about himself and admit mistakes, in his adaptability, and, with maturity, in his unimpetuous playfulness.  As an adult, Moses remains someone who doesn’t much hesitate when he encounters something new: For example, he isn’t entirely cautious when he catches the flickering light of the burning bush, though one can argue that he’s also drawn there spiritually.  Another instance: He’s happy to be hands-on in Midian, minus the dancing at first.

Although Moses’ tertiary Ni surfaces in his ability to grasp the potentials that people and situations hold (“I know [Rameses] will live up to your expectations. He only needs the opportunity.”), Moses’ sense of direction and of greater purpose are shaken after he becomes unsure of what good/worth he can contribute to the world.  He “loses” himself in the present, to a free and joyful life in Midian.  However, he regains his drive and sight of the larger picture, with the help of all the figures in his life — Jethro and Tzipporah, Gd, Miriam and Aaron, and Rameses — committing to the task given to him.

Last edited: 6/8/20

#the prince of egypt #miriam #aaron #moses #mbti #new stuff #my writing #oh hi i'm not back #just finishing what i started #did my best with these #one of the reasons this took 4 years was bc i kept harping on all the details #(mud pit scene you hurt so good) #editing this has been a good distraction tho #would totes write 5000 more words for each sibling #but i want to move on too #i think mbti is interesting and helpful but it's also not my only guide

[hiddlesgirl]

SH 314: A Kiss From a Rose

This week’s episode was definitely an improvement on last week, although it is not quite as good as 311 and 312. The flow felt better, there were a few great scenes and we are seeing the real beginnings of some major plotlines appearing. However, there was one major issue I had which pertains to the Maia and Jordan scenes; and I will be discussing it. I loved protective Alec and Magnus is making my heart ache; the Clace date was adorable and Jonathan is creepy but that’s no surprise to anyone.

The fact that Jonathan had a Seelie glamoured as Clary is several levels of creepy, but I found it really interesting that his perception of her is virginal. We know that Clary is not a virgin; we know that she had sex with Jace in 313 but I’m almost 100% sure that she and Simon had sex while they were dating in 2A and she may have even lost her virginity before that; we can’t know for sure. But the fact that Jonathan sees her as pure and untouched is rather fascinating; he is clearly putting her on some sort of pedestal, seeing her as this pure angel who can save and redeem him.

I really did not like that Maia was trapped in the same storage room that Luke locked her in, in 209; we know how terrified she is of being trapped in small spaces and I kinda hate that they did that too her again. Surely there was another way out, I mean the back door was right there which leads into a dock full of storage containers which while not great they would have been a little bigger and wouldn’t have brought back those memories from 209.

My heart really goes out to Maia because her phobia is clearly very present and distressing for her; I think that portraying phobias this way is good because it shows the reality of it and also brings panic attacks into the conversations Shadowhunters is often so good at starting. I liked that Jordan stayed calm and helped her through her panic attack, keeping her calm in a situation that causes her great distress.

I thought that the Clace morning scene was very sweet, they don’t often have these moments just to be with each other and it’s great that they are getting that now. Clary is clearly concerned about Jonathan and their bond, the message on her arm has disturbed her and has once again reaffirmed that no matter how hard she tries to forget or ignore Jonathan, he isn’t going anywhere.

It’s a little strange to see Jace so insecure and vulnerable, but in a good way; he hardly ever really opens up, especially romantically. To see him be vulnerable with Clary shows how far he has come since season 1 and how much her loves her to let her in, to let her know how important she is.

Izzy is determined to get to the bottom of what is happening at the Gard, even more so after Greenlaw’s death; she knows that it must be important if the Clave are willing to kill their own to keep their secret. Since season 1 she has loudly advocated for the rights and against the bad treatment of Downworlders and I love seeing that side of her again. Also, I am loving that she has her own, very important, storyline which is extremely relevant; she has a strong moral compass and she is not going to let fear for her own well being get in the way of doing what’s right. I am very excited to see where this storyline goes.

In case you haven’t read my 311 review, my loose theory at the moment is that they are somehow trying to purify the demon blood in Downworlders as a way to get rid of them because they know they cannot just keep killing them without backlash from the younger generations. By purifying the demon blood they would presumably just become mundanes, therefore the Clave can eradicate Downworlders without committing mass murders. This theory started because a while ago I heard theories and rumours that Luke may be becoming a Shadowhunters again (I think this started because there was a picture of Isaiah on set with runes applied, the crew said it was just a bit of fun but who knows); paired with the footage of Luke from the Freeform trailer in one frame of which he has the same glowing veins and eyes.

We learn that Lorenzo has forbidden all warlocks in New York from helping Magnus (which is so freaking despicable); I did see a few tweets wondering why Magnus didn’t contact one of his warlock friends from another county to help him. My opinion is that he didn’t because that warlock would have to travel to New York to help him (NY warlocks are not allowed to help him in anyway which would presumably include creating him a portal to someone who would help him) and in doing so would be in Lorenzo’s territory, and therefore (presumably) have to abide by his rules. Even those who come from somewhere else have to respect and obey the local High Warlock; so Magnus cannot portal to help and help would have to abide by Lorenzo’s rules if they came to him.

I cannot stand Lorenzo, he is revelling in Magnus’ situation and the pain it’s causing him; and is loving being able to hold power over him by making sure that Magnus would have to come to him for help. I hate that Magnus feels so lost and desperate that he is willing to ask Lorenzo for help, but I also understand it; you can see how severely losing his magic has affected him, he feels stranded and hates not being able to help people. Unfortunately, we all know that this isn’t going to end well as Lorenzo warns; and I am terrified. The thing is that this isn’t Magnus’ true magic it is a supply of Lorenzo’s, so he is still mortal and has a magic that is not his own. His body is going to start rejecting it and is unable to sustain the power of it, especially because it is not the magic he was born with.

Even though I was a little annoyed that Maia’s happiest memory was of Jordan I can understand why, in that moment obviously her memories that involve him would be at the forefront plus it might not be just because it was Jordan, but to have someone to rely on who will come to help you when you call.

I really like that Jace took Clary ice skating because it was something she used to do with her mum, to help Clary relive those memories and create new ones. The tone of the scene was very sweet, tender and joyful; I love seeing them having fun with each other and being able to enjoy something mundane together. Also, Kat actually learned to ice skate for this scene and I am in even more awe of her because she looks very at ease; plus, Dom can actually ice skate and had to pretend he couldn’t, it can sometimes be difficult to pretend to not know how to do something because your body automatically wants to do it from muscle memory.

When Jonathan turned into Jace I was literally screaming ‘no’ at the TV because you know that it is not going to end well, especially knowing the very skewed way he sees love and that he has kissed Clary in the past while glamoured.

I absolutely loved the looks of confusion on both Alec and Underhill’s faces when Magnus’ comes in and is using magic to sort through the documents; I was thinking that this was when Magnus and Underhill were going to meet but unfortunately not. But it is coming next week (if they haven’t cut it), hopefully we will finally learn Underhill’s first name and I am so hoping it goes really well. I also love Magnus’ look to Alec to make sure he is watching and looks appropriately shocked.

I love that Harry is keeping consistency with Magnus’ tendency to just throw things on the floor when he doesn’t need them or something else catches his attention. He is clearly trying to avoid telling Alec the full truth about how he got magic and what the consequences of it are, he feels so happy to have it back and knows that Alec would worry if he knew the details so has decided to not tell him right now so they can both enjoy the moment.

Alec knows that something is wrong and wants to know why Lorenzo was willing to help Magnus; he doesn’t trust Lorenzo and wants to be able to support Magnus. He knows that Lorenzo wouldn’t do something for Magnus’ without asking for something in return and he is worried about what that might be. Plus, surely he recognises that it isn’t Magnus’ true magic from the colour and is already scared about what might happen to Magnus if the situation goes badly.

I like that Clary is being honest with Jace about what happened, she knows that nothing good comes from keeping secrets and that he would want to know, to help and be there for her. She is confused with Jace’s replies of Jonathan being crazy about her and kidnapping her out of love, she is definitely put off by this but she doesn’t click.

Jonathan definitely looks angry, annoyed, put out? I can’t quite describe the exact emotion but he definitely is not happy to hear the implication that Clary and Jace have had sex, I’m not sure if this is some form of jealousy or if it is just because it is shattering his pure visage of her. I liked the scene and Dom does a really great job of acting as Jonathan, but you feel a bit annoyed that Clary didn’t get more of a sense that something isn’t right because Jace’s whole demeanour is off and she is smarter than falling for the thinly veiled deceit.

I really did not like that Jordan kept trying to talk about what he did to Maia, by turning her and abandoning her, despite the fact that she tells him twice (in slightly different ways) to not talk about it right now. He just carries on and it’s not even about how she feels, it’s about his feelings and self pity “I’ll never forgive myself”, instead of making the conversation about Maia, acknowledging that he wronged her and all her feelings about that are valid, once again it is about his need for forgiveness. The whole scene feels so Jordan orientated, getting him his redemption before he might die and I hate that because Maia is the person who was wronged.

Then it gets worse when she says “I forgive you”, I hated that because she is saying that because she is scared he is dying and that is the only reason. It has only been a week since he talked to her about what was going on with him back then and suddenly she is ready to forgive him when not a few days before she couldn’t bear to be in the same city as him? Also, if she is going to forgive him then it needs to be for her, because she is ready to move on and let go of the anger and upset; not because he is hurt and she wants to make him feel better.

Maia then goes on to say that she was feeling a lot of emotions because of what happened but that it doesn’t matter now, all this implies that she is the one at fault for feeling angry that he did terrible things to her and almost perpetuates victim blaming. By saying that the negative emotions she was feeling doesn’t matter implies that those feelings are invalid and sends out a potentially harmful message; Maia has every right to feel those things because she was attacked by someone she loved and trusted. Just because he was going through something difficult and is sorry doesn’t change what he did or how it made her feel.

Another thing (sorry I know I’m ranting but I do not like Jordan as a character and I don’t like how this situation has been handled), despite his constant insistence that he is sorry he has not shown development or change in his behaviour. He still insists on being heard whether the other person (Maia) wants to engage in that conversation or not, putting himself and his feelings first; he has not sort any help for his clear anger control issues (evident with him losing control with the vampires) which you think he would have done after his loss of control causing this entire situation in the first place; and he is still abandoning people, he was ready to just up and leave Simon now the mark is gone, granted that was the reason he was there in the first place but surely (with the Praetors job being to make sure new Downworlders adjust to their new lives) he would stick around for a few more weeks for make sure Simon is dealing properly; he was just going to leave without giving Maia full closure on their past, letting her work out her issues while he kept a slight distance but being available should she want to talk; and he was going to leave the Praetor without saying anything to them as we know from their phone call to Luke they think he has gone awol, so obviously he hasn’t spoken to them about taking some time away from them.

I saw a poll on Twitter the other day where they asked what people’s options were on why Jordan attacked Maia, and the three answers were ‘Abusive’, ‘First time wolf out’ and ‘Don’t care’; but I think that the situation was too complicated to just peg it down to one or the other. Yes, Jordan was turning so his emotions were heightened which caused him to lash out or react badly to a situation. However, him turning did not make him stalk is ex-girlfriend; he made the decision to follow Maia and watch her while she was on a date with someone else knowing that it would make him jealous, then he decided to follow and confront her about it. So, him turning caused the heightened state which led to his loss of control and turning her, but it was his own decisions and actions in stalking her that led to that incident; if he had left her alone then it would not have happened.

Some may argue that many wolves attack people when they turn for the first time, Maia did too; and yes, that happens, but from what I understand it is usually a stranger that just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time when someone is experiencing that first turn.

I still find it hard to believe that Clary doesn’t figure it out until Jonathan kisses her, his behaviour and speech is very different from Jace’s that she should have known something was wrong before then. Plus, it just made me cringe because for one incest, ew, but also we already suffered through one incest kiss between them, did we really need another one? I know that it’s because Jonathan doesn’t understand the lines between sibling, platonic and romantic love and how to show it, plus probably some effort of putting a claim on her; but it just freaks you out. The only solid reason why I think they did another incest kiss is because he was disguised as Jace, and that this is the start of a wedge developing in the romantic side of Clary and Jace’s relationship, this is the only story relevant reason I could think of as to why they would do that again.

Magnus is enjoying having his magic by creating a portal, lighting the torches and removing the lid of the sarcophagus; but Alec is worried about Magnus over doing it, telling him to take it easy. He has no idea what this new magic, or the overexertion of it, could do to Magnus. We learn that the Morningstar Sword was stolen about 20 years ago and that it has the power to call an army of demons from Hell. Well, that kinda solves the mystery of the demons flying around in the trailers, shit.

Magnus finally tells Alec that Lorenzo asked for his apartment in return for the magic, Alec is absolutely fuming and ready to attack Lorenzo. His distrust has been proven right and he is furious that Lorenzo has taken advantage of Magnus’ situation and has taken his home from him, especially at a time that Magnus has lost so many other things. Plus, it has become home for Alec too; it hold’s almost all of his memories of his relationship with Magnus and he hates that Lorenzo is taking that away from them both.

Magnus explains that he willing gave up his apartment for the magic and why; magic is more important to him than the apartment, which at the end of the day is just a thing. This scene makes me cry, listening to Magnus describe how without his magic he feels cut off from the world, disconnected and that he doesn’t matter; I think that it is very easy for a lot of people to identify with those feelings, I know that I really identified with feeling those things in my darkest times and it is so refreshing and validating to hear a character talk about it.

Magnus is making Alec understand how being without his magic has completely changed how he connects with the world and with others, in Season 1 he told Clary that he thought Dot dead because he couldn’t feel her magic anymore. So not only did he lose a part of himself but he also lost his connection to his friends, his people; there is no wonder he feels so separate and adrift. Magnus reassures Alec that having him and his magic is enough for him to happy; you can tell that Alec isn’t happy with the situation and its consequences but he smiles because he can see the difference in Magnus and appreciates why he has done this.

I love seeing Luke and Simon scenes, I love their relationship; my heart aches for them because you can see their devastation upon finding the massacre at the Jade Wolf, Luke’s especially because you can see he is swimming with guilt as well. We know that Luke is going to blame himself for this, thinking that if he was there or if was still Alpha then they would still be alive. Luckily, Simon hears Maia and helps her escape the storage room.

When Izzy and Jace come to help Clary escape, Clary is unable to draw the sedative rune on Jonathan, she looks confused and horrified in the moment and after that she was unable to make herself incapacitate him. Personally I think that this was for a couple of reasons; firstly, in that moment Jonathan does appear vulnerable in his expression and that causes Clary to just see her brother, in that second she doesn’t see the murderer she just sees her brother, her last remaining blood relative; secondly, I think that the rune and their connection is going stronger, and that is causing them to not want to cause harm to each other or in this case cause their capture. It would make sense that the rune would grow in strength over time and that is going to cause behaviour changes, possibly feeding Clary’s darker impulses.

Simon helps Maia get Jordan to the Praetor while Luke allows himself to be arrested; it hurts because you know that Luke let that happen because he felt guilty, responsible for their deaths and didn’t just want to leave them. I know that he is going to keep feeling guilty about this but I hope that Maia, Simon and Clary will help him deal with it.

My absolute favourite scene of the entire episode, Alec confronts Lorenzo! I love it, Alec calls out Lorenzo for taking advantage of Magnus and wanting to humiliate him; he knows that Lorenzo dislikes Magnus and would not let this opportunity to get back at him pass him by. He despises him for hurting Magnus, for taking advantage of someone in a clearly vulnerable position but also because Lorenzo is supposed to be a leader and is abusing his power to get what he wants. He doesn’t allow Lorenzo to mock him and reasserts his power as the Head of the Institute; making it known that Alec will not tolerate any back talk or disrespect from Lorenzo.

He is willing to make a deal with Lorenzo to get the apartment back, he knows how independent Magnus is and despite what he says Alec knows that losing his home is going to hurt him. He is willing to do whatever it takes to protect Magnus. I absolutely love Matt’s acting in this scene, the distain in his expression and the little twitch of his face when Lorenzo talks about putting Magnus in his place. Matt is so fantastic at conveying so much in small movements and facial expressions, and you can tell that in that moment Alec wanted to rip Lorenzo limb from limb.

I love that Alec makes his distain of Lorenzo as a person and a leader clear, he hates how Lorenzo conducts himself as High Warlock and doesn’t respect him as a leader at all; a good leader supports those under their care and doesn’t take advantage of them for their own gain and petty vendetta. He makes it clear that he is going to be keeping an extremely close eye on Lorenzo and is waiting for him to slip up, Alec is going to bide his time so that he can punish Lorenzo when the time is right and in a situation that no one can refute his decision. I was literally laughing, hollering and clapping throughout this entire scene; it reminded me of 210 when he told Aldertree to stay away from his family, I love seeing him in hyper-protective mode.

At this point I cannot see any redemption arc for Lorenzo because he takes credit for Magnus’ achievements (the purified ley lines from 302), enjoys causing suffering and revels in humiliating Magnus in any and all ways possible. He may have some past with Magnus that caused his hatred, but we don’t know what that is, maybe Magnus did something to him or maybe Lorenzo is just jealous of him; jealous of his power and how many people like him, he knows that Magnus has the support of a lot of warlocks and that clearly rubs him the wrong way. But no matter their history, Lorenzo has acted despicably; especially as High Warlock, his job if to lead and protect no matter his own grievances and he has shown that he is incapable of putting aside petty rivalries to do that.

And I’m crying again; Magnus looks so happy enjoying a cocktail in Hunter’s Moon, you can tell that he feels so much happier and like himself now. I love his interaction with the bartender and seeing him smile so broadly. Then I breakdown when his head starts ringing and nose starts bleeding after he opens the portal, we know that this is the beginning of something horrifying and we are not ready. His symptoms are only going to get worse with time and continued use of the magic, but he is not going to willingly give it up because he has experienced living without it and cannot go back to feeling like that.

I love seeing Izzy back in the lab, and she finds a USB drive inside of Greenlaw; I need to see what is on there! Plus she looks gorgeous in these scenes, especially with the lighting.

Clary is angry with herself for not being able to detain Jonathan, she knows that he needs to be caught and poses danger to them; she feels like she failed and doesn’t understand why. Throughout the whole scene it appears that she has difficulty even looking at Jace which is understandable but also hints that my theory of a wedge between them may be right. She tells Jace about the kiss, she needs to be honest and to be able to express her feelings about it; she feels violated, she was kissed by someone under false pretences and that person was her brother. You can see the distress she feels at being kissed without her consent, I am glad that they addressed her feelings about this.

I really liked Jace’s ‘swear on us’ line, it shows his strength of feeling for her and how much he believes in their relationship; he believes that they can survive anything, together. It is clear that what Jonathan has done is going to have a lasting effect because Clary turns away from Jace’s kiss; it is completely understandable because all she will be able to think about is Jonathan taking advantage of her. I hope that they can move past this but that remains to be seen.

Jonathan is very pleased with the fact that Clary was unable to capture him and is sure that they will soon be reunited; I wonder if he knows the real strength and effect of the twinning rune.

But what I did find very interesting, and looking back you can kinda see it in 313 too, is the continuous reappearance of fire with Clary and Jonathan. Plus, in that last scene it was fire that transitioned their scenes; I thought it was very clever and interesting. I wonder if it is because of the twinning rune, Jonathan’s demon blood or because of Jonathan’s experience being burned and burning himself.

Okay, I really liked this episode and it was definitely an improvement on last week. Yes, I did have issues with the Jordan and Maia scenes, but hopefully I have explained them in a way in which you can understand where my opinion comes from.

In 315, Magnus is now living at the Institute, he meets Underhill, they are dealing with Heidi and we might be seeing Raphael return!

#SH 3x14 Review #Shadowhunters #A Kiss From a Rose #SH 314 #Shadowhunters Review #SH 3x14 #SH 314 Review #SH314 #SH3x14 #Shadowhunters 314 #Shadowhunters 3x14

[ficdirectory]

Somewhere Inside (Disuphere series #4) Chapter 64

(To listen, click here) - 17:04

For a long time after that, Frankie can’t talk or anything.  The anger is too big in her throat.  She really wants to throw Dominique’s phone, but she doesn’t.

All of a sudden, Mari’s there in front of her.  “You need Sister Time?  In private?” she checks.

Frankie nods.  She thinks Dominique might be surprised when Francesca doesn’t let go of her hand at all - includes her in sister time.

They go out to the one step thing where Fran and Mari ate donuts one morning when Levi came over all upset from Peanut Butter Cookie, probably.  It makes Francesca feel like screaming.  All the feelings make her CP side feel extra tight.  Walking and balancing are even harder.

Out on the step, Francesca sits down and buries her head in her arms.  Mariana asks to hug her and Frankie shakes her head no.

“I need to scream so bad!” Francesca growls in an angry voice.  “But I can’t because I don’t wanna make anybody’s trauma worse!”

Dominique leans back and scoots open the sliding door.  Calls inside.  “Hey, Levi?  Is it okay if we sit in your car for a bit?”

Francesca doesn’t understand, but soon Dominique’s back with Levi’s keys and they’re all walking together.  Dominique opens the door, and they all get in the back seat together.

“You can scream in here,” Dominique says, like it’s no big deal.  “I did earlier.  It feels really good.”

Francesca lets out a really tiny scream.  It sounds like a little dog yipping, but not like Cleo.  

“How mad are you?” Mari asks.  “That Moms said that to us?”

Francesca turns hot eyes on Mariana.  “Madder than anything in the world.”

“Anyone.  You’re a person with feelings, Francesca.  It’s okay to feel mad.” Dominique says, gently.

Francesca’s heart’s beating hard.  She kicks the seat in front of her.  Punches it.  Grunts a little.

“Will you scream with me?  I’m mad, too,” Mariana says.  “Can we be mad together?”

“As loud our madness?” Francesca checks.

“As loud as your madness,” Dominique nods.  “I actually might wait for you guys on the step, though.  I usually do screaming by myself, in private.”

They wait til Dominique gets out of the car and is far enough away on the step and not watching, because Fran and Mari don’t like people staring.  Then, Francesca looks at Mariana.  They count together:

“One, two, three…”

And then Francesca lets out the biggest, loudest scream ever.  But she’s not alone because Mariana’s screaming her loudest, too.  Which is very loud.  Francesca’s kicking and punching the seat in front of her, which she is never allowed to do at home, and isn’t so sure she’s allowed to do here, either.  But Mari’s not telling her to stop.

They scream for a while longer, until Francesca’s voice is tired.  Until she feels small and weak and like screaming won’t make any difference at all.  She covers her face.

And tears.  And it’s like Francesca might never stop crying.

Mariana whispers again, “Can I hug you?”

This time, Frankie nods into her hands, and she feels Mariana’s arms come around her.  She can feel Mariana holding onto her and hear her sniffing loud and breathing shaky and Francesca’s pretty sure Mariana’s crying too.

In a while, Mariana starts talking.  “You should be in our family.  You should.”

That just makes Francesca cry more.  Because when Moms say stuff like that it makes Francesca feel like she should just disappear.

“Do you feel it?” Frankie asks.  “Like you shouldn’t be in the family when they say those things?’

“I feel…” Mariana starts, still with a shaking voice.  “Like they don’t love me now.”

“That’s the same as I do.”  Frankie nods, sniffling.  “But I love you now.  Before and now.  Both.”

“I love you now,” Mariana says, kissing Francesca on the head.  “And tomorrow.  And forever.”

Francesca thinks back, to the night when Moms had been talking to Mariana outside and she came barging into their room, wrecking, and screaming, and swearing at Francesca.

“That night?  Why did you swear at me?” Francesca asks, peeking at her.

Mariana opens her mouth.  Closes it.  

“I won’t tease you.  I promise.  I just…  Did they...like...say something mean to make you this mad?  Only back then?  When we couldn’t scream in cars?”

“Yeah,” Mari nods.  

“So you wanted me to get out?” Frankie checks.  

“Yeah.  Like when Elsa gets mad...and she can’t control her powers.  I didn’t wanna hurt you.  But all I could say was...that.”

“So, you weren’t really mad at me?”  Francesca checks.

“No.  I was mad at myself.  And Moms.” Mariana explains.

“Felt like everybody was mad at me that night…” Francesca confesses.  “I felt really sad.  And lonely.”

“I wasn’t...I just...couldn’t.  When there’s strong emotions?  Words are harder.” Mariana says.

“When I was having strong feelings, my CP felt extra tight,” Francesca confesses.  “Walking was harder.”

“So, yeah, kinda like that.” Mariana nods.

Francesca takes a deep breath but it doesn’t work because her nose is stuffy and plus all she smells is Levi’s car.  She opens the door to breathe some real air.  She gets out of the car and waits for Mari to get out too.  They walk back to the step where Dominique is together.

“Look,” Francesca offers, showing her hands.  “I didn’t do it.”

Dominique opens her arms.  Francesca goes into them.  “I am so proud of you, babe.  That was some tough coping you did.  I can tell that coping muscle’s getting big and strong.”

“It’s still hard,” Francesca admits.  Sitting on the step between Dominique and Mariana.  “Mari and me?  We don’t wanna go back.  Right, Mari?” she checks.

“Try never,” Mariana scoffs.

“I’m sorry, guys,” Dominique says.  “I wish you didn’t have to ever go back.”

“Mariana, you scream the loudest,” Francesca points out, admiring.

“Thank you?” Mari asks, smiling a little.

“What can I say except you’re welcome!” Francesca sings, like Maui.  It makes them laugh.

“I did get an idea while I was sitting here.  For something we can do at Feelings Time.”

Francesca doesn’t think she can wait to find out Dominique’s idea, but it turns out she can.  Because they can go back inside right then, they all agree.

“Levi, I did your coping thing,” Francesca tells him.

“Yeah?  How was it?” he asks.

“Good.  I kinda hit your seat and kicked it, though.  Sorry.” Francesca apologizes.

“Hey, it’s seen worse.  Don’t worry,” Levi reassures.

“Guys, but Dominique has a great idea for Feelings Time, though.”  Even though it’s got to be past 8:00 now, Mariana and Jesus don’t say anything.  They let Francesca sit back down with all of them.

“Ooh, what’s your idea?” Pearl asks.

“Well, I was thinking...how all of us have kinda...negative thought loops?  Where it’s not really easy for us to think positively about ourselves.  So, I was thinking, what if each of us takes time to write down three words to describe positive characteristics in your fellow Avoiders.”

Francesca raises her hand.  

“Yes, Fran?” Dominique asks, smiling.

“What’s a characteristic?  Just, like, a thing we think of when we think of them?” Francesca wonders.

“Something positive.  About their personality.  Think about things each person does well.”

“Like nice?” Francesca asks.

“Can you be more specific about nice?  Nice about what?  And...I kinda wanna avoid...physical compliments if we can.”

“So just good personality things,” Francesca checks.  “Not, like, pretty.  Even if you are pretty.”

“Thanks, babe, but yes.  I need to take some small steps toward accepting a compliment like that.  Not quite ready for it yet.”  Dominique clarifies.  She hands out lots of Post-It notes and pencils.

“So, three things for each person.  15, total?” Francesca checks, doing the math in her head.  “Or 18?  Do we have to include ourselves?”

“No.  But I think that hearing from your friends about what they see that’s good in you can help you be able to eventually see it in yourself.” Dominique points out.

Francesca gets to work, writing:

MARIANA:

Powerful

Smart

Loving

JESUS:

Feelings

Coping

Protecting

DOMINIQUE:

Noticing

Listening

Singing

LEVI:

Fun

Fast

Strong

PEARL:

Advise

Being clear

Hot chocolate

--

Mariana’s staring at her stack of Post-Its when Jesus scoots in next to her.  

“I don’t know about you, but I need our twinbrain for this…” he confesses, quiet.  “I’m overthinking everything.”

“Lucky.  My brain’s empty.” Mariana returns.  

But when they put their heads together, eventually, both have lists.  They, ironically, don’t need help at all for each other’s:

JESUS:

Compassionate

Advocate

Artist

FRAN:

Curious

Feels deeply

Same

DOM:

Honest

Creative

Aware

PEARL:

Willing to learn

Recognizes limits

Deep thinker

LEVI:

Genuine

Gentle

Thoughtful

--

With Mariana’s encouragement, Jesus is able to eventually put pencil to paper without erasing a thousand times, or thinking everything he writes is wrong:

MARI:

Open

Intuitive

Encouraging

FRANCESCA:

Playful

Funny

Considerate

PEARL:

Role model

Love in action

Open hearted

DOMINIQUE:

Blunt

Photography

Kind

LEVI:

Phoenix

Backup

Honest

--

Right about now, Dominique’s not sure about everyone else, but she feels about due for some focus on some positive things.  And to focus on the positives in her friends?  All the better:

FRANCESCA:

Positive coping!!!!

Sloth-speed shopping

Trustworthy

LEVI:

Poet

Soulful

Generous

MARIANA:

Reliable

Dependable

SAFE

jESUS:

Knowledgeable

Respect

Boundaries

Pearl:

Loyal

Confident

Asks for feedback

--

Even now, Pearl finds herself feeling like a bit of an outsider.  She’s not altogether sure she can come up with 15 words to describe all of these people in their best light.  Because 15 words just doesn’t seem like enough.

LEVI:

Sweet

Caring

Thorough

JESUS:

Non-Judgemental

Integrity

Follow through

FRANCESCA:

Recognizes others’ progress

Helpful

Emotionally in tune

MARIANA:

Attentive

Facilitator

Patient

DOMINIQUE:

Good Listener

Logical

Authentic

--

Levi figures it’s just as well to try and distract himself from the note that seems like it’s tattooed onto the backs of his eyelids.  From Carla.  It takes a while for him to be able to start writing at all.  And when the words start coming, he’s not sure he can stop them:

PEARL:

Keeps trying

Understanding

Believing

DOMINIQUE:

Unflinching

Careful

Guarding

MARIANA:

Best hugs

Great talks

I feel seen

JESUS:

Basic needs

Warm

Shares

FRANCESCA:

Mediator

Original

Wise

--

When Francesca gets her five Post It Notes she crams them all into her waist purse so she can read them later when she really needs them.  

It’s okay because she isn’t the only one who is saving their good things.  Everybody else is, too.  It’s like, they’re not ready to realize those parts of themselves yet.  And definitely not with people looking and waiting for them to, like, cry or something.

Even though the Avoiders wouldn’t do that.  They respect emotions.  And each other.

She’s starting to get tired, but doesn’t wanna admit it.  Under the table, something gets passed to her, from Levi.

“Stress cow,” he whispers.

“Huh?” Francesca asks.

“You should get a stress cow.  For when you’re stressed.  Squeeze it,” he encourages.

Francesca does.  It feels weird and good and squishy.  And actually, she could really use a stress cow in real life.  So she’s not always squeezing into her bare hands.

She hands it back.  “Here, I’m not stressed anymore,” Francesca tells Levi.  “You keep it.  In case you need to squeeze it.  Your coping really is good, by the way.”

“My sitting in the car and screaming?” he asks, like he doesn’t believe she’s being serious.

Francesca nods.  “It feels so good to scream and not get yelled at, right?”

“It does,” he nods.  “It actually really does.”

“So, you have great ideas,” Francesca tells him.  “I should ask Mari if we can keep doing that idea when we go home.  But Moms will probably worry about us looking weird or somebody hearing us and calling the cops,” Francesca realizes.

“Could always ask somebody to drive you somewhere quieter.  Away from your moms.  To scream and not have them worrying about how it looks,” Levi suggests.

“You mean, like, Jesus or Dominique, right?” Francesca checks.  “Not a random person?”

“Right.  Someone you trust.  A safe person, like you guys say,” Levi points out.

“I wish you lived in California and right by Avoidance,” Francesca sighs.  “Then, I’d ask you to drive.  You’re safe.”

“Aw,” Levi smiles.  “Thank you.  You’re safe, too.”

“But don’t ask me to drive,” Francesca cautions, giggling.  “I’ll run into everything.”

“I ran into a mailbox…” Levi confesses, out of the corner of his mouth.

Francesca just keeps laughing.  It feels so much better.  So much better than all the screaming and sadness.  She unzips her waist purse softly, so Jesus won’t hear the zip.  Looks at all the good things the Avoiders said about her.  

She’ll definitely have to Google Levi’s.  

Still Francesca flips through them under the table, trying to make all the good things sink in.  So she’ll be ready, and strong, when it’s time to go home.

#fic: somewhere inside

[tonystarkbingo]

Week Six Roundup

Mod Note: Because of holiday and other real life stuff, Mod Tisfan is a little behind on reading everyone’s fics for this week. So if there’s no note beside your fic, don’t worry, I’ll catch up soon! Promise! I’m so excited at how much work everyone’s done!

Name of Piece Wedding Dress for Sale, Worn Once By Accident by @voodoofee Square Filled continued A3 freesquare Rating M Warnings smut, light dom/sub Summary Tony Stark/Bucky Barnes Bucky finds a strange note in the elevator reading, Wedding dress for sale, worn once by mistake, with the number of someone named Tony. Bucky only knows one Tony but he doesn't think that's the guy’s name. Why else should the packages he sometimes receives be addressed to one A. Edward Stark? Whoever it is, Rebecca's wedding is coming soon and he wanted to buy her a dress. Maybe this one fits? He's pretty sure she won't mind that it has already been worn once... Chapter 8

Name of Piece: What Happens at the Beach House by @tisfan Square Filled A1: Fake Relationship Also on A03 Rating Mature Warnings: fake relationship, blowjob, accidental nudity, there was only one bed, bed sharing, pining, idiots Summary: Tony Stark/Bucky Barnes

“Come on, I need this,” Tony begged. “I know, I know, it’s degrading, and you’re straight, but it’s my mom. She’s not going to stick us in the same room or anything.” Narrator: She did, in fact, stick them in the same room.  

Name of Piece Quantum Realm Travel gone Wrong by @toneestark Square Filled K1 - Crossover Marvel x Marvel Rating teen and up Warnings graphic violence, zombies, hurt/comfort Summary gen

Tony Stark and Hank Pym have a way to reverse all of Thanos' wrong doings, but they need a quick trial to ensure that the technology can work. Winding their way into a worm hole through the quantum realm, they finally make it to an alternate universe and an alternate timeline, only it wasn't quite what they were expecting... 

Name of Piece Giving Him Excitations by @polizwrites Rating Mature Warnings No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Sex Toys, Vibrators, Exhibitionism Square S2 - Vibes in Public. Summary: Tony Stark/Steve Rogers Tony Stark is a sneaky, kinky SOB and Steve kinda loves it; it certainly makes their next team meeting more interesting.

Mod Tisfan’s Commentary slightly different twist on this trope. Hilarious.

Name of Piece Occupational Hazard by @novarain01 Square Filled S5 - occupational hazard Rating Mature Warnings NSFW art fill Summary 

Tony Stark, laying on red bedsheets, wearing skimpy underwear and covered with lipstick, bite marks, rope burn, and a sarcastic grin, looks up at the viewer. 

Mod Tisfan’s Commentary: you can just feeel the smug, here...

Name of Piece The Vague & the Unmistakable by @wakandan-wardog Rating general Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark Additional Tags: Fluff and Humor, Birthday Fluff, Flirting, Suggestive Themes, Not Beta Read, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant Summary:

Looking back on it, there are several things that should have tipped Steve off that today was his Birthday. (Starting with the fact that it’s suddenly clear Tony engineered every one of them.)  Square Filled: T4: writing format: five things

Name of Piece Soulmates Aren’t Just Lovers by @celtic7irish Rating: Teen  Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Tony Stark Additional Tags: Forced soulbonding, Imprisonment, Abandonment Issues, winter soldier programming, Bucky Barnes is still in there, Tony Stark is the most stubborn, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Bucky needs a hug, Soulmates, TWS on never happened Summary:

Hydra wants Tony to build them Stark/Chitauri Hybrid weapons. When Tony refuses, they decide that they’ll make him more pliable. By forcing him into a soulbond with the Winter Soldier. After all, his programming should supersede Tony’s stubbornness. Right?

Square T1: Forced Soulbonding 

Mod Tisfan Commentary: Beautiful and riveting. I hit the subscribe button SO FAST. 

Name of Piece Where We Wanna Be by  @rinnwrites Square Filled A1 - Meeting Alternate Universe Counterparts Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Tony Stark Additional Tags: Multiple Universes Colliding, Meeting Alternate Universe Counterparts, Domesticity, Portals, Inhumans (Marvel), Getting Together, What Could Have Been Summary:

Tony and Bucky stumble through a portal to an alternate universe and they run into themselves, in a world without Avengers….or their enemies.

Name of Piece Always by @ouzoathena11 Rating: General Audiences Additional Tags: How Do I Tag, there’s a book club, and some inside jokes, It’s really not much, just some fun, Tony Stark Bingo 2018 Summary:

Tony bringing Darcy Lewis to Stark Industries brought more than he thought- including a book club!

Square A4- Always

Name of Piece A Place to Call Home by Stark-n-Barnes Square Filled S1 - Holding Hands Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, Fluff, Neurosurgeon Stephen, Ex-Military Tony, Recovery, House Searching, Moving In Together, Marriage Proposal, Friend Reunions, Realtor Bucky, Holding Hands Summary: Stephen thinks moving in together would be a great idea, Tony disagrees. But can one, beautiful townhome change all that?

Name of Piece Schmoop - @bill-longbow Square Filled K3 - schmoop  Rating: General Audiences Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James “Bucky” Barnes/Tony Stark,  Additional Tags: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Hopefully not Avengers 4 compliant, Schmoop, Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, ALL THE FLUFF, waking up together, Angst, Not A Happy Ending, Coma Summary:

Tony’s content. There’s no other way to put it. The fighting’s over, the endgame has been played, nothing to fear anymore.

Mod Tisfan Commentary I read this by accident because it’s not very long. Now I am depressed.

Name of Piece Rewards for Good Behavior by @dracusfyre Square Filled R2 Gossip Press Rating explicit Warnings sexual content, jealousy Summary Tony Stark/Bucky Barnes

This is a continuation of my Dark!Tony story Positive Reinforcement (part 1 of Operant Conditioning) though it can be read as a smutty standalone. 

James gets jealous when Tony turns on the charm for his adoring public.

Name of Piece From the Heart that Bleeds by @duckmoles Square Filled A3 - free square Rating gen/preslash Warnings Post Infinity War, possible spoilers Summary

Steve spends his hundredth birthday in Wakanda, still dealing with the fallout of Thanos. He doesn't feel like he's one hundred. He feels like he's one thousand.

(In which Steve and Tony tentatively start to forgive.)

Name of Piece Slack Water, part six: Shoals by Tisfan Square Filled K2: Reunion Also on A03 Rating Mature  Warnings: Consentacles, tentacle sex, marine mating habits, oral sex (sort of? I dunno, Tony’s a fish!) Summary: Tony Stark/Bucky Barnes

Bucky’s never actually been free. While Bucky is discovering what freedom is like, Tony is learning everything his mate likes. Fleeing south, Tony eventually brings Bucky home…

Name of Piece Out of Touch by Mitochondrials Rating: Explicit Square Filled: T3 - Fuck or die Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark Additional Tags: Brief mention of Jarvis (William), Post-The Ultimates 2, Fuck Or Die, happy birthday steve, Dildos Summary: “I appreciate the sentiment. It’s very touching,” Tony said, and then paused, taking Steve in. “My, my, you’ve really forgotten haven’t you?” He reached to brush a hand along Steve’s cheek, causing Steve to shiver and lean down closer towards him. “You darling, brute of a man. It’s been your birthday going on six hours now. You’ve missed the fireworks? They’ve been going all week.”“I—” Steve blinked. Oh. Tony is suffering the aftereffects of some AIM engineered breeding chemical. Steve, despite his embarrassment, firmly advocates helping.

Mod Tisfan’s Commentary One of my personal favorite tropes, also, I love Ultimates, they’re so... I don’t even know the word, but their relationship is so delicious.

Name of Piece Aberrant Outcomes by @dracusfyre Square Filled K3 - Noncon Rating: Explicit Warnings: Rape/Non-Con Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark Additional Tags: Steve and Bucky are Not Friends, No actual rape but definitely non-consensual activity, Bucky Barnes's Trigger Words, Groping

Summary: James inadvertently follows Captain Rogers into the jaws of a trap. 

Title: Try, Try Again Collaborator: @27dragons & @tisfan Link: AO3 Square Filled: S3 - Fuck or Die (Tisfan’s Tony Stark Bingo) and T5 - Fuck or Die (27Dragon’s Tony Stark Bingo) Ship: Bucky/Tony Rating: Explicit Major Tags: non-con, sex pollen, hand job, masturbating, coming untouched, fantasy, oral sex, anal sex, violence, kidnapping, hydra trash party adjacent Summary: Madam Hydra’s most successful project was Snowmelt; breeding children from the Winter Soldier. When she returns unexpectedly from the dead, she decides that Tony Stark will be a good donor for a new wave of experiment children. But first, she needs genetic material. And for that, she has a special drug for Tony.

Title: Resolving Dissonance - by @dracusfyre Square Filled: T3: Slave Fic  Ship: Tony Stark/Bucky Barnes Rating general Warning Dark!Tony Summary  President Stark decides its time to reconcile with Captain America. 

edited to fix misattributed fic: From the Heart that Bleeds was erroneously linked to @rinnwrites instead of its proper author, @duckmoles/Kirael. I’d say I don’t know how that happened, but we all know the truth... I made a mistake! Mod Tisfan

#tonystarkbingo2018 #tonystarkbingo #week 6 round up #round up

[gabbylight]

A 5:15 am thought

After dwelling in a wierd mood of depression for the past couple of days. It’s gonna be hard moving on from you. I’m going to start frustrated with her but after realizing something, youre a hypocrite after how much you talk shit about Carmina of how she found another guy. Not even a month you found someone else to replace me. I’m happy and kinda troubled by it because I’ve dated you for four years and I kinda know where it’s leading to

But i calm down a bit now, I’m glad that I had some eye opening stuff from her family, friends and subreddit. I don’t need coworkers to influence some stuff in the background or have them say stuff

As of right now life is alright, I’m talking to another girl not so I can hook up. So I can have more friends again, I lost plenty of friends because of this relationship because the way she is. But that was my decision to lose my friends so I can deal with her and focus on her

Anyways after reading our text from our stupid twitter and messages, I came to realize who it is at fault. Not me that is at fault alone it’s both of us, you can’t blame me for having the relationship to collapse from 2018. She needs to think about it, for two years I was happy and falling in love with Lia but once she left to SC to NYC everything changed, her priority and attention wasn’t towards to me anymore. Her attention was to her sister, brother in law and roommates. And with the response of her actions I got friendly with another girl at work because my own gf can’t give me the happiness, or attention anymore.

Dom is a cool person to be around, fun to talk I guess and she’s pretty (and for girls out there, I respect all girls are pretty but at the end of day the girl you’re dating is the prettiest) but I did have a small crush on her but at the end of day i didn’t like her because I was using her as my way to get some attention from the opposite sex since my gf couldn’t give it to me for the past 2 years. Plus She’s to much of a rave person and not my nerdy geeky girl like Lia. And this is where leads to issues, why I’m unblocking Dom and why I’m screenshot it. Bottom line is this, good friend she let me listen to my problems and be unbiased and the screenshot was uncalled for. And then another issue on Lia’s tumblr about her need of happiness.

I stop going to school so I can give you the attention and affection that you didn’t had. I sacrifice my school for my love to you and then I see you rambling on your tumblr that you weren’t happy. I bought you things but as time went on you started to materialistic, you wanted expensive name brand bags, you wanted iPads. Lia I understand you want this and that but what happened to the basic shit that I love you? And then we got your NYC issue during the last two years of dating you, you set yourself up. I understand that you wanted have fun with your roommates and laugh with your sister but if you can’t spend time with your bf at least 3 hours a day then that’s a recipe of disaster which lead me talking to Dom. So what you can laugh all day and talk to your roommates for 5 hours and I’m over here on the FaceTime doing nothing? Lia you did this to yourself you ignored me for hours everyday. And then you said you wanted happiness? Two years lia from late 2017 and Q2 2019 you neglected me to talk or even ask how’s my day. And I have to remind you every time just to ask my day or even text me at work when I’m waiting for your reply. We barely play games and if we do it’s a miracle.

So I hope if you do date Marshall you give him the attention and don’t repeat your mistakes what you did to me. Dom was your doing, it was your response for not giving me the attention I wanted from my gf. So this is how it feels like being cold in a relationship. Can’t even ask how my day is and I had to argue about that problem last May

Then here’s my own issue, I understand that I don’t have any priorities in life, in reality I wanted to make you happy as possible but we both know LDR is very limited. So after posting your tumblr about how you can sleep on Marshall’s shoulder because of anxiety it rattle me and how you said that. I did the exact same thing with you when I visit????

Anyways

Yes I understand my priorities were fucked but I was ready to move by the 25th so I can get my life straighten out and go back to school. But bottom line is this, idc what you think but you started to bring up unnecessary shit and heated the argument like you always do. And your mom doesn’t like me? For what reason? Because how your daughter doesn’t know when to stop or when to stop when I’m already done talking? Get mad as much as you want but I want people to be in the receiving end of your daughter when she wants to escalate everything.

And then another issue with babbling with your NYC buddies. you had the audacity to tell dan that you had to pay for everything like plane tickets and other expenses. Lia you never ever told me how much you make for two years I had an impression you get paid a lot compare to my measly 5.25 an hour and tips. Before you went to NYC, I worked five days cleaning tables so I can buy you three fuckinh tickets. And these are airplane tickets, but you weren’t happy because these weren’t business class tickets. Tell him that

Understand this Lia you never told me how much you made and I assumed you get paid a lot than me. You need to speak up and tell me, and that’s our issue: communication. So if you’re reading this tell Dan that, I still paid for my half and I paid 50-80 dollars more than you had to. And when I do pay I couldn’t buy anything for myself for the next three pay checks or till I see you. Hell ik you had to pay for other rent and shit but bottom line is this you never told me how much you made and then you requested me to buy stuff.

Anyways stop with your I deserved happiness speech, I still love you but you need to be in the other shoe and not be narrow minded. But it’s to late, Lia is already opening her heart to another relationship. Weirdly enough for me I’m talking to another girl and I don’t like it. Sure me and lia had issues but I realize many things since I’m observant

1. We don’t argue at all when we are see each other and these are times when I’m there for months end. Because the physical well being is there and we can talk it out

2. Lia and I are very cheesy and I still get butterflies when I see her or when I hold my hands with her. I just don’t tell her that because I’m shy

3. After our arguing we tease each other and laugh

4. Idk about her whenever I leave to work and tell her kiss kiss kiss in the lips I’ll be hkme around 11:45 I cheesy hard

5. She gets clingy when I see her and I love it

6. We talk about our future sometimes and I saw her in my future

7. Ik she can agree with this but I love being around her or when my body is next to her or touching hers. Sorry I’m acting like I’m in high school but it’s nice

At the end of day despite all the heat I still accept her, even though when she was in NYC talking with her roommates for hours I’m still happy that the FaceTime is still on and I can finally see her when she left. And with the break I had since I had mental breakdown, I deeply fell in love with her more

IK things didn’t go well on the 25th but I wished she waited till Saturday and not post that tweet and involve unnecessary people

If I had a time machine I would tell myself to go and leave my mom with the tumor she just recently told me and things would of been different

But it’s life now, I’m talking to someone who I wasn’t expecting at all to come back since I thought she hated me when that girl Edith lied to her but I’m in mood of being in relationship at this moment. But If Lia accepts me back I’ll be glad to go back but I’ll be better man, I woke up finally but I’m playing with devils advocate and it’s dangerous hoping if she accepts me back. And if she doesn’t then I hope my decision to joining the Boot Camp will fix my life.

But eventually if everything is at a stalemate I’ll have to remove Lia from everything and that’s going to sadden me the most

But I wished Lia could of waited till Saturday for the move and none of this would of happened

#personal

[heroesandvillainsofmbti]

ISTJ: Miles O’Brien, “Star Trek: TNG/Deep Space Nine”

ISTJ – the Inspector, the Trustee, the Steward

Chief O’Brien was dubbed DS9’s Everyman character, one the writers could throw into any manner of weird and wild adventure and see how he bore up. Since the ISTJ is the most abundant personality type in MBTI theory, the role makes a good fit. Whether facing temporal anomalies on TNG, or bumpy-headed aliens on DS9, the Chief brings a down-to-Earth perspective to a far-out place.

Dominant Function: (Si) Introverted Sensing, “The Study”

Chief Petty Officer Miles O’Brien has a long record of service with Starfleet. His early assignments directed the path of his later career, moving from tactical to engineering, and then specializing in transporter operations after he performed a nifty trick to beam his crew out of an emergency. While he’s humble about his own accomplishments, he’s proud to be part of the established institution of Starfleet. He also boasts of his Irish lineage, as it includes a king and a union leader.

O’Brien experienced a great deal of combat as a young enlisted man during the Cardassian Border Wars. In court, he’s counted as an expert witness based on the number of combat missions he’s run, and the recognition he’s received. As steady and useful as the Chief is in such situations, he doesn’t love his memories of being a soldier.

The war colored O’Brien’s view of Cardassians for the rest of his life. He frequently calls them “Cardies,” and he’s slow and stubborn to trust any of them he meets. Even the Cardassian war orphan who stays with the O’Briens only bonds with Miles after they realize they both dislike Cardassian food. The Chief witnessed the many atrocities the Cardassians committed, but he tells one Cardassian that what he truly hates is what he became because of them—a killer, even if it was in combat.

One good thing that came from his war experience—when his old captain goes rogue, O’Brien is able to talk him down partly by singing their old battle songs together.

O’Brien’s favorite place on the Enterprise is Transporter Room 3, where he serves most of his time. When the anxious Barclay starts freaking out about using the transporter, O’Brien is quick to recite the solid safety record of transporter technology. Later, he introduces Barclay to his pet spider, which he keeps in memory of the time he had to overcome his arachnophobia to crawl into a tunnel full of spiders and make repairs.

O’Brien gets the post on DS9 partly thanks to his previous experience with Cardassian technology during the war. He’s not thrilled with the state of things on the station, and frequently wishes he had access to reliable Federation technology, but he has the Si-dom’s persistence of sticking with the work until it’s done. Once he’s jerry-rigged everything to work properly, the station becomes the Chief’s domain, and only he really knows how to keep it functioning.

O’Brien’s a meat-and-potatoes kind of guy, a traditional family man, and a working class engineer with no desire to move up into the ranks of officers. Thus, the many trials and tortures he suffers in his years on DS9 constantly test his resilience. He always manages to come out of them with his basic nature intact.

The exception is when he’s implanted with 20 years of prison memories that feel so real he has a hard time re-adapting to his old life. The environment may have been false, but the violent actions he took to survive feel, to Miles, authentic and damning. It takes the love and care of his wife Keiko and best friend Julian to keep him from killing himself, and to convince him he’s still the man he was before.

O’Brien gets back up and gets on with life, able to survive whatever the universe throws at him.

Auxiliary Function: (Te) Extraverted Thinking, “The Workshop”

The Chief is happiest when he has work to keep him busy, and the broken-down DS9 provides plenty. He has classic Starfleet engineer workaholic tendencies, and doesn’t know how to put down the technical manuals even when he’s on vacation with his wife. He’s straightforward and honest in his approach to his work—none of this fudging his estimates like a certain famous Miracle Worker. He can be a little by-the-book sometimes, as when he scolds Ensign Ro for dumping raw phaser power into a computer console to get it working in a crisis—a perfect clash of impetuous Ti-Se versus cautious Si-Te.

Still, the Chief never fails to get the job done in spite of all the difficulties he complains about.

O’Brien sports a certain dry sarcasm, born from his realist’s perspective, that rears up most often in contrast to his Extraverted Feeler friend Dr. Bashir. He gets especially testy with Julian when it’s revealed that the good doctor was genetically engineered, and thus had been letting him win at darts all these years. Miles wants to win legitimately, based on his ability, but that means making Julian stand a few feet farther back from the board.

Like many a high-spirited Te-user, Miles plays as hard as he works. Whether it’s darts or raquetball, he’s highly competitive, especially against Julian. In his free time, he hits the rapids on the holodeck, and repeatedly dislocates his shoulder doing so. It’s a very un-cautious, un-Si-dom thing to do, but he tells Julian he can’t stay away from the challenge.

O’Brien has little patience with more emotional approaches to life, which again makes him clash with Julian. When they’re stranded with a group of rogue Jem’Hadar, Bashir feels compelled to help them overcome their addiction to the chemical that keeps them enslaved. O’Brien doesn’t trust the Jem’Hadar—again, based on reliable past experience—and insists their focus should be on the more practical matter of escaping and leaving these guys behind to their fate.

On a later joint mission with the Jem’Hadar, O’Brien witnesses their pre-battle speech, about victory bringing life because they are dead until they win the fight.

The Chief gives the Starfleet people a pep talk of his own:

“My name is Miles Edward O’Brien. I am very much alive, and I intend to stay that way.”

Tertiary Function: (Fi) Introverted Feeling, “The Deep Well”

The Chief’s honestly not great in situations requiring emotional sensitivity. He’ll bitch and moan, and possibly explode, when too many things go wrong. He’s both brittle and stubborn with Cardassians, for whom he harbors deep resentment and prejudice. He constantly finds his patience tested by his begrudging friendship with Dr. Bashir, and he bickers with his wife Keiko so much it seems that’s all they ever do. He’s private and doesn’t like discussing his feelings—especially not to a ship’s counselor—until a talk with the ill-fated Captain Cusack inspires him to give a very serious, but very heart-felt speech to his friends at her eulogy.

For all the storms in their relationship, Miles and Keiko are probably a match because of their headstrong personalities. In separate episodes, they both show themselves willing to risk it all when the other is possessed by an alien entity (this happens often to Starfleet people), and O’Brien is at his most soft and tender when enjoying his family. When a telepathic mishap causes the DS9 crew to act out on their latent sexual attractions, Miles and Keiko wonder why nothing happened to them.

Miles says of their attraction to each other: “There’s nothing ‘latent’ about it.”

Interestingly, the Chief is the one to give Fe-user Worf advice on how to go easier on the engineering crew. Worf’s formality makes him rigid and stern, while O’Brien’s humility and practicality make him more suited to running a team of non-coms and technicians. Miles wants to be known as a good man, and he believes in the ideals of Starfleet even if he doesn’t stand up and preach them like his captains. This is why it hurts him so badly when he’s arrested and accused of terrorism by the Cardassians, or driven to suicide by his experiences in prison.

O’Brien achieves most of his emotional growth by gradually opening up to Bashir. The doctor’s incessant Fe-dom pestering makes them instant adversaries from the beginning, but after sharing many adventures together, they develop mutual respect. O’Brien eventually admits that, in some ways, he loves Julian as much as his wife, and enjoys their time together more.

(The Chief’s many outbursts and emotional misunderstandings with his loved ones, as well as his developing openness with Julian, often made me think that he was inferior-Fe. His strong Si and obvious lack of Ni kept me from typing him as an ISTP).

Inferior Function: (Ne) Extraverted Intuition, “The Hiking Trails”

O’Brien’s an engineer, not a theorist. When asked hypothetical questions in court about the battle in question, he gets irritated. It didn’t happen that way, so what’s the point of speculating?

When he’s sent skipping back and forth through time by a temporal anomaly, he figures out the moment-by-moment actions he needs to take, but thinking too much about the paradoxes of his situation makes him complain, “I hate temporal mechanics.”

By his own admission, the Chief misses the forest for the trees when the creature possessing Keiko assigns him a list of seemingly random adjustments to make around the station. It takes the Ne-user Rom to realize what all the re-calibrations will result in.

However, Miles has an enthusiastic playful side, as proven by his many holosuite escapades with Julian. The boys go all out, dressing up in full costumes to recreate many a historic—and tragic—battle. They’re the ones who get everyone roped into Vic’s in the first place.

Miles is willing to change when necessary. Like another famous Star Trek ISTJ, he disappointed his father by joining Starfleet instead of taking the expected path. He talks himself into being more tolerant when he advocates to a Cardassian war-orphan’s father the value of an open mind. He takes the job on DS9 despite the disruption to his life, and applies his imagination to many an engineering problem. He eagerly leaves his time as a soldier in the past, and works to be, as one Vorta put it, “One of those famed Starfleet engineers who can turn rocks into replicators.”

#MBTI #Star Trek: Deep Space Nine #Miles O'Brien #ISTJ #Colm Meaney #Chief O'Brien #cognitive functions #Si-dom #Si #Introverted Sensing #Te-aux #Te #Extraverted Thinking #Fi #Introverted Feeling #Ne #Extraverted Intuition

[survivorindia]

Lexi G’s Jury Answers

Alex I can honestly say that I did appreciate you going out of your way to at least talk to me every now and again even if you didn’t let me know who the vote was each time. It’s hard to trust who’s being genuine with you when you’re in the game. It clouds your judgement by assuming that everyone just wants something out of you and to hear that you really did come to me with the intention of trying to give me someone to talk to in the game with no strings attached sort of touches my heart. I have had experience in the past in a game with my best friend who did something very crappy so I have an array of trust issues which I assume was the reason for my hesitation to take your word at 100%.

I played up the fact that the newbie group was throwing me off to the side but the truth is that Robin shared every piece of information she had with me and that was all I needed from that side. I knew she got everything out of that group so I went on a mission to extract information out of the returnee side for myself, not for the newbie group (that’s why my allies sitting in jury think I brought nothing to the table). I didn’t need to tell the newbie group anything because they didn’t try to do anything or get anyone to flip most of the time so they needed my vote. I think if the numbers played out differently and if it didn’t look like each group was stuck to their original alliances that we could have had an interesting dynamic. The reason I said what I said when I played the idol though was to make sure Lexi L felt secure with me because I had told your side a lot of things saying I would go against her and I didn’t want that to be something that got back to her and be targeted for the rounds after. Although, she really didn’t have the power to do much because Robin wasn’t going to vote me out and Lexi L did whatever Robin told her to so it was just a last minute speech that was a blah attempt at covering my ass.

Gavin

You can’t really take the word of the people I was “aligned” with, mostly at Ruben because they are going to trash my game in order for Lexi L to look better since that’s who they want to vote for, in a biased sense. I didn’t share a large part of my game with them because there was no need to, they did not try hard enough to flip anyone from the returnee side so they needed my vote and I had the freedom to say what I wanted about them and do as I pleased. I didn’t speak up at deliberation for voting within our group because anything I said could be leaked to the side (returnees) with actual power at that point and basically anyone leaving from that side was beneficial to me. The people who spoke up the most went home after every round so why put myself in danger until I needed to much later. I went to the returnees’ side to see if I could ever gain any information which I did at times and I certainly did not share it with my group other than share a few things with Robin. The paranoia was a part of my game round one, because if it seemed as if I needed a helping hand to guide me through the game then they were less hesitant to vote me out. This is all in my confessionals so you’ll see it at the end of the game, regardless of if you vote me or not but Ruben is in no means an advocate to my game because I hardly told him anything that I was doing. I’m not saying I was the most amazing player to ever play, we all know that’s furthest from the truth but as some people are saying Lexi L did anything ever or had us as loyal minions is just as far from the truth.

Kendall’s voting history: Ace/Ashley/Whitney/Ruben/Alexis/Jaiden/Ruben(Ruben)/Lottery Rocks vote - Robin/Robin before opal idol but revoted Alexis/Alexis/Lexi G

Alex played a more vocal role in the game and people saw him as a threat because he was much more strategic/social and it was easy to see that. He had many connections, and had dictated how most of the game went and we could all see that he had an amazing shot at winning. His tribal answers were also quite well thought out and he was very well spoken so that’s another reason people would not want to sit with him at the end. I on the other hand, laid back a lot early on and it was the only way for me to get farther because of the weaker bonds I had with allies and I can admit that. I wasn’t threatening compared to a large majority of the cast. That’s what I needed to do, I needed to essentially play dead when the merge came around because then why would anyone go after me.

The logic behind the Lie-am vote was to cause mistrust among the newbies. Since the returnee/newbie numbers were getting close, you knew there had to be a point where a newbie or returnee would need to flip. You used this to take advantage of Liam’s paranoia and make him feel comfortable being protected on your side.

Dom Regan is my favorite host. She made the game a unique experience. Also, she’s really nice for getting the winner a gift.

Julia I’m glad to see you on the jury Julia! The most defining moment of my game was convincing Ashley that I wanted to flip on Robin and Lexi L. I think I was able to execute that very well because Lexi L and Robin did not find out about anything. Although it may sound like it was useless, I did it because I knew Ashley wanted to flip at the opal idol revote so I had to figure out a way to get Ashley, Alex, and Kendall to split their votes. We set up a chat where I had them believing I would go along with their plan to get rid of Lexi L and that made sure Lexi L, Robin, and I had the majority votes for that tribal council. I did not find the idol until after I had done all the flipping work so that was just an advantage to get more trust from Lexi L. I think Robin’s main weakness was that she trusted people too much and was messy. She gave so many people access to her idol boards. If the idols would have fallen in the wrong hands, it could have definitely ended all of us. It’s also obvious that Robin’s word didn’t have much credibility after the Jaiden tribal because of all the lies she spread. I would consider Lexi L’s main weakness her temper. She was pretty much a goat to Robin and I because she had ruined her relationships with so many people that all she could rely on was us. Even with us, there was hardly ever any strategy sessions in our alliance with her. All she did was get online and make sure she submitted her vote on time.

I’m glad I was seen as someone who played in the shadows because I had an under the radar strategy. I did not want to be seen as a threat because I knew coming into a returnee vs newbie season that the returnees would want to get rid of the best newbies. I continued this strategy going into merge because my side was obviously in the minority. No one wanted to flip during the first few tribals so I figured it’d be better to lay low so I could be the last one left and then when the numbers were low enough, the other side would want to use me as a number getting myself into a better position. It worked well since Jaiden, Dom, and Ruben were taken out before we finally got Ashley on our side.

Jordan I stand out from the group because I adapted to every tribe I was on. Lexi L and Robin were on the same tribe for the entire game. They always knew they could count on each other. I had to find different people every time to talk to and put myself in a good position for tribal council. Basically, in the words of Sandra Diaz Twine “I had to hustle and make sure all my stuff was in order so when i went to tribal council i made it out in one piece.”  I didn’t have a duo the entire game to fall back on so every tribal council I alone had to make sure that  my name wasn’t thrown out at tribal council.

Sarah

The Liam tribal, I did vote Robin out, after you said the split plan was abandoned which was a last ditch effort at showing I was with your group by that point since there was no shot at turning that back into a split plan. I didn’t want to vote with them if the numbers weren’t there obviously. I have no reason to lie, there’s no benefit to me lying about that right now. I wasn’t with you during the split plan (and during the call) and then was with you when you specifically said you all were voting for Robin last minute. I voted for Robin after you said that because it was the smartest move to preserve my game.

As for when you found out when Ashley was flipping on you, I was a bit annoyed for 2 reasons, 1) because it was just yet another plan that was on its way to unraveling and of course you know that nothing was working out for our side so it became increasingly frustrating. 2) I would have rather had Lexi L going instead of Robin since Lexi L was hard to work with, having come on last minute before tribal a number of times and asked who to vote for and not contribute to anything whereas Robin did more and we had a number of calls talking things through etc. I only told Ashley and Robin about the change in plan too.

I told Ashley so she knew and could see me as someone who told her everything and I could possibly work with her moving forward and she said she was “angry” (not sure if she was or not) to which I replied “lmfao same” because the easiest thing to do is agree in that situation. I wasn’t really angry because if you found out by yourself that we lied to you then that’s good gameplay on your part and I can’t be mad at that, only annoyed at that things weren’t going to work out the way I wanted them to. I had also told Robin she was leaving because I owed it to her and I knew there wasn’t anything we could do and for that conversation, I just felt sad.

Julia - I think you’re really pretty and I wish that I looked like you. Dom - I love that you’re really outspoken, it’s hard for me to be that way online or offline so I envy that. Jordan - I think your kindness is something crazy big to me. I know the few times we spoke that I came off as fake to you so I’m not sure how believable this is going to be but I did genuinely enjoy those moments. It meant a lot to me that you put aside the game and told me I could vent to you if I ever needed to. Ruben - Your ability to stay calm in a number of different situations was crazy cool. Liam - I really think your ability to be straightforward at all times was something I enjoyed most in the times we spoke. You would always reply to me by saying exactly what you thought with no beating around the bush and I’m grateful for that. Sarah - I admire your strength and self confidence because you were somehow always the target and for those rounds you always found a way to evade getting booted. I wish I could carry myself the way you carry yourself, as I do not possess a lot of self confidence. Gavin - We didn’t speak much but based on what I have heard from people while we were in the game, you’re a very smart person. Alex - It’s weird because I know that we never really got to be on the same page game wise but I also feel a lot closer to you than some of the people I worked with. I think your compassion is just wow (and overlooked because your game was amazing) because I didn’t realize how deeply you cared for what I had said during that round we started speaking more until you spoke about it in your jury question and it has really stuck with me. Kendall - I think you’re fun and funny and I know that’s the complete opposite of me. I’m a wall and possibly the most boring person to ever exist which is something I’ve tried to work on a lot but alas my social anxiety gets the best of me. I still remember the first conversation we had after the first swap and it honestly ranks in as one my favorite conversations I’ve had in this game. Ashley - I think you’re smart and fun, because I imagine as a viewer that it had to be entertaining watching you giving those advantages away and having mostly everything work out in your favor while also not sticking with one side completely. I wanted to play this way coming into the season so it’s a bit disheartening that I didn’t get the opportunities I was looking for but kudos to you for doing so.

Kendall

I can’t flip on an alliance if the people I’m flipping to aren’t going to give me the same chance to get myself to the end. The issue is that you all were too close to each other so I was on the bottom if I had flipped and then also considering the fact that you all had the votes to win by a large margin. A move I made for myself was I talked to the returnees for the sole reason of keeping the target off my back and making sure I knew who you all were voting for. I didn’t tell the newbie group any of that stuff because they weren’t doing well getting people to flip. I knew I was on a sinking ship so I was making sure I could get with the returnees when they decided to turn on each other. As for the insult portion… Ruben, I think you were arrogant and condescending for a large part of the game and that caused your inability to see things that were happening right in front of your face and not to mention if you actually tried to trust someone from outside our minority group (like Robin did) a bit more then you could have pulled in someone and not have went out when you did.

#youdontgetmycrownjustcause

[ficdirectory]

The Crossing: Deleted Scene: Williams Family Chat Re: Accommodations

Deleted Scene: Williams Family Chat Re: Accommodations

When Dominique gets back from Avoidance, she bides her time, anxious to connect with her parents about what everyone said they needed.  One of the best things about having Avoidance - to her way of thinking anyway - was that she didn’t have to worry about not having what she needed while she was there.

More than anything, Dominique wants her house to function the same.

It feels like it takes hours for both Mom and Dad to sign into the Williams Family Chat, but when they do, she’s ready.  Roberta’s in her lap, reading along:

Dominique: Hey.  Do you guys have time to talk re: my bday and some other stuff?

Michael: Babe, we always have time for you.

Jaimie: Sure.  What’s up?

Dominique: Well, I just talked to Jesus, Mariana and Francesca about my bday and dinner and stuff.

Jaimie: How was it?

Dominique: Good.  We talked about what we each needed.  And I wondered if I could run some of the stuff they might need by you, so they can feel comfortable.

Michael: Yes.  We want them (and you) to feel comfortable.  Go for it.

Dominique: Mom?

Jaimie: Yes, babe, I want your friends to be comfortable, too.  I’d love to know what we can do.

Dominique: Well, Mariana and Francesca will need a hand up the steps.  I can help one, but probably not both. Jesus might be able to help whoever I don’t but I just don’t want anybody stranded alone outside, if we can help it.

Michael: Right.  We don’t want that either.  We’ll keep an eye out.

Jaimie: What else?

Dominique: Well, Mariana asked about someplace quiet she could go if the noise started to bother her, so I offered my room.  Just making sure we can all keep it lowkey so she doesn’t feel bad for ducking out.

Michael: No weirdness.  Promise.

Jaimie: Um, he can’t promise NO weirdness.  He is your dad ;)

Dominique: No weirdness with Mari though?  Please?

Jaimie: No, Dom, we won’t. I was just playing.  What else?

Dominique: Well, kinda similar for Jesus.  He has a thing about wrapping paper, and so he might need to step out while I open stuff.  I offered to open before they get here and he said that’s fine.

Jaimie: But he’ll wanna see you open your presents, won’t he?  That’s part of the fun.  What about gift bags?  I can do your presents up in those.  Can you ask if he’d be good with that?

Dominique smiles.  Leave it to her mom to think of something like this, instead of Jesus just removing himself from the situation.  She opens a new text and sends:

My mom is wondering - do you have a thing about gift bags?  She’s saying she can put my gifts in those instead of wrapping paper so you can stay.

Jesus texts back in seconds:

Tell her THANK YOU.  That would work. :D

Back in Family Chat, Dominique starts typing again:

He says gift bags are a go. And thank you.  But he’s also not big on clutter.  I don’t think we’re bad at keeping things picked up just something to be aware of with presents maybe.  ...Am I talking too much?  Is Dad mad?

Michael: Dad is taking notes so he can make sure your friends are taken care of while they’re here.

He sends a picture of a notepad, covered in his own shorthand.  It’s impossible to read, but Dominique knows he will know what everything says.

Jaimie: Nope, he’s not mad.  He’s faster at writing than me, so he’s taking the notes.

Mom also sends a picture of Dad intensely focused on the computer screen, pen in his hand, notebook on the desk.  They know Dominique needs evidence from all sides that things are okay so she can feel safe continuing.  She kinda loves that about them - that they do it without her needing to ask, and without making her feel crappy.

Jaimie: You okay?  Feel up to continuing?

Dominique: I guess.  Is it still okay?

This time, they send a pic of them cheesing and giving thumbs ups.  It’s ridiculous and just the thing Dominique needs to let her know they’re fine with her letting them know more.

Dominique: So, I know y’all wouldn’t do this but Mariana mentioned it.  If she’s having trouble looking for a word or something, don’t tease her for it, even lightly, or to lighten the mood.  Let her know we have time.  Sometimes asking yes or no questions helps.  Sometimes she wants help getting the word she’s looking for, but the biggest thing is to take the pressure off her.

Jaimie: Got it.

Michael: We can do that.  Supportive.  No jokes.

Dominique: And when we’re talking, she finds it easiest to listen if we go one at a time.  Try to minimize the crosstalk.  We’re pretty good about that, I think.  But maybe just something to keep in mind.  I think I’m almost done, but Jesus and pictures.  If you guys wanna take a pic with him in it, he can’t have it done on the DL.  Be explicit about it.  Ask him if it’s okay to get together for a picture.  Then answer his questions if he has them.  (Sorry, was that too much?  Too bossy?)

Jaimie: You’re advocating for your friends.  It’s never too much.

Dominique: Also, Mom, it’s possible Francesca might wanna bring something up with you in private.  But she’s pretty nervous about it, so if you could stay lowkey about it…

Jaimie: OK when am I not lowkey…. ;)

Michael: Babe.  Come on.  Seriously?  I’m the lowkey one. ;)

Dominique: Stop playing.  Please?  This is serious.  (Dominique’s heart hurts at how serious.)

Jaimie: Dom, if Francesca needs to talk to me.  She is more than welcome to.  About anything.  I’ll be calm with her.  You don’t have to worry.

Dominique: Okay.

Michael: Do YOU need anything specific for tonight?

Dominique: No candles?

Michael: Check.

Dominique: Lemon cake?

Michael: Check.

Dominique: Spaghetti?

Michael: Check.

Dominique: You?

Jaimie: Babe, you will always have us.

Michael: Always.

--

That night, Dominique lies awake a long time.  She can’t sleep, but for once, it’s not trauma.  Or not the usual trauma.  This time, she’s busy exploding absolutely everything in her mind.  Convincing herself none of it will actually happen or work out - so that in case it doesn’t - she’ll be ready.

It’s a thing she does because so much of her life - for so long - has been the worst case scenario.  It’s not some distant possibility or what if.  To Dominique the worst case is a sure thing.  And that’s terrifying.  The only thing that makes it worse is when it catches her unaware.  Hence, the obsessing.

It veers into intense pretty quick and she ends up needing Mom to talk her down at 11 PM.  (Mom’s proven time and time again that she doesn’t mind a late night phone call.  That she always wants to hear from Dominique, no matter the time.)  She’s sure Mom hasn’t expected it to happen quite this often, but still, she’s glad to have here there.

“Seriously,” she says.  “It was too much to ask of you and Dad.  Just don’t worry about any of it.”

“Won’t your friends be disappointed if we cancel so soon before the party?  Won’t you be?” Mom presses.

“They probably can’t come anyway…” Dominique ventures.

“Then why did I just get a Facebook message from Mariana thanking me and saying how excited they all are to come tomorrow?”

“You did?” Dominique asks in a small voice.

“I did.  A few hours ago.  It’s happening, babe.  Lean into the joy.  Let yourself feel it.  Okay?  Can you do that?  ‘Cause I get it.  I do.  You haven’t had friends over to a birthday party for a long time.  Not since...”

“Not since,” Dominique echoes.

“But that doesn’t mean things are gonna fall apart.  We got you.  This time?  We all got you,” Mom says, soft but confident.

“You sure?” Dominique checks.

She listens as Mom draws a breath and then says:  “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.  Get some rest.  And tomorrow?  You’re gonna have a fun day with your friends.”

“And after?”

“And after, it’s a Choose Your Own Adventure, babe.  Whatever you wanna do.  Wherever you wanna go.  You have people now.  And we have you.”

#fic: the crossing