#but that doesn’t have a huge bearing on the story as it is rn lol
Note
If you have the time, there’s this no powers soulmate AU idea that I have. In a regular world, where everyone has a red string around their finger, that connects to their soulmate at first contact, Han Yoojin has a pink string. Anyway, I think it’d be funny if regular construction worker hyj got stuck together to CEO/stupidly rich Sung Hyunjae by the hot pink string forcing them to be around each other, and all the fights and funny things that happen because of it. Neither of them can catch a break, and I think it’d be hilarious.
(I headcanon Han Yoohyun as aromantic, so in this AU he doesn’t have a string, but idk how relevant it it would be if you decided to write it)
Yoojin doesn’t actually figure out what the strings mean until he’s out of high school, because for a long time there doesn’t seem to be any pattern to them. His own dark blue string connects him to Yoohyun, but not all of the siblings in his classes have the same string. Sometimes, he sees a golden thread connecting a classmate with their parents, but neither he nor Yoohyun have any tying them to their own. He sees red strings most commonly, which sometimes connect parents or married couples, but sometimes the strings lead away from the person’s spouse. Not a single person who boasts that they’re dating in his class has a red string that connects them to their significant other of the week.
Yoojin hasn’t seen anyone with a bright pink string like his, either.
Despite the ambiguity, though, he does work out a few rules:
Strings that float off into nothingness and disappear a foot or two away from someone’s body means that they haven’t met the person on the other side yet. The entirety of Yoohyun’s string stays visible no matter how far away Yoohyun goes, but even when his end of the pink string bobs and moves, it never seems to point anywhere specific.
The whole string materializes when the people on the two ends touch. It doesn’t have to be skin-to-skin contact—as far as Yoojin can tell, it’s more about the symbolism of the meeting than the actual touch.
The color of the string is related to the relationship. Yoojin hasn’t worked out all of the colors yet, but he knows the blue string connecting him and Yoohyun has to be for siblings. Gold seems to be parental and red is romantic, but there are other, rarer colors that Yoojin still has yet to puzzle through.
For a while, Yoojin worries about Yoohyun’s lack of strings. Yoojin is already at the low end with only two, and Yoohyun has even less than him. But Yoohyun never seems to be worried about it, even when Yoojin tells him about the strings, and Yoojin gradually stops asking. Maybe Yoohyun is happiest with his one string, and whatever being is tying the strings between people got it right for him.
He does wonder, sometimes, what the pink string means for him. He doesn’t trust the red strings, not really, not when one tied his parents together and didn’t leave room for a single golden thread between them and him or Yoohyun. But the pink… Maybe it’s something better.
-
Yoojin boards the bus that’ll take him home, squeezing in between the people already on board until he finds a space around the middle of the bus, standing next to a row of seats.
He’s prepared to spend the ride staring out of the window like he usually does, watching the blur of buildings and trees pass by outside, but this time, when he lifts his head, his eyes catch on the strings tied to his pinky finger. More importantly, his eyes trace the pink one, which no longer drifts off into space like it used to.
Instead, it’s attached to the man in front of him.
What.
Yoojin stares in disbelief at the businessman sitting in the seat in front of him, pale hair slicked back perfectly and dressed in a neat and obviously expensive suit, even to Yoojin’s inexperienced eye. A leather briefcase is propped up in his lap and Yoojin is pretty sure that the watch he spies on the man’s wrist costs more than Yoojin’s monthly rent.
Their shoes are touching.
Yoojin has never seen a person that he is more convinced doesn’t belong in his life. How is Yoojin connected to this man? The whole idea seems absurd.
For the first time, Yoojin doubts the accuracy of the strings.
“Can I help you?” Yoojin winces. Apparently his staring has caught the attention of the man.
“I—” His breath catches in his throat as he abruptly becomes overwhelmingly aware that this is his chance to get to know the person on the other end of his string. This person, who wears uncomfortably expensive clothes, looks proper and put together in a way that Yoojin will never be able to manage, and looks like he hasn’t done a second of menial tasks in his life. “No, sorry. Excuse me.”
He dips his head hastily in apology and spends the rest of the bus ride staring out of one of the windows to his right, refusing to take a single glance at the man. He thinks he might feel a gaze on his face during the ride, but the man never speaks up, and Yoojin steps off the bus at his stop, convinced that he’ll never see the man ever again.
-
“No, you don’t understand, he was wearing a suit,” Yoojin emphasizes. “Can you imagine me with someone wearing a suit?”
“Hyung.” Yoohyun’s exasperation is loud even over the phone. “I wear suits.”
“Yeah, but that’s different.” Yoojin tests the ripeness of a tomato carefully. Hm. He sets that one down and picks another one up. “I look at you and all I see is the kid who used to pick his nose and wipe it on my shirt.”
“Hyung!”
“It’s true! My clothes went through the wash at least twice as often as yours did because of it.” Yoojin puts the third tomato in his basket and moves on to the green onions.
“Hyung, that’s not true.”
“You can’t tell me it’s not true because you never did the laundry.” Yoojin manages to browse through the selection of green onions and make his pick without a single word from Yoohyun. “See, you know I’m right so you’re not saying anything.”
“No, I’m speechless from how wrong you are.”
“You just won’t admit it—” Yoojin’s attention snags on the way his pink string suddenly jumps in the air, pulling taut just in time for the businessman to walk through the sliding doors of the grocery store.
“Hyung?”
Yoojin turns his back to the door, heart pounding. “He’s here,” he hisses.
“Who’s there?”
“The guy!”
“What guy?”
Yoojin groans. “I’ll call you back.”
Yoohyun hums a note of confused agreement. “Talk to you later, hyung.”
Yoojin ends the call right as the businessman joins him near the produce. The businessman is still dressed too formally—he isn’t wearing a suit jacket anymore, but Yoojin doesn’t know anyone who would wear a dress shirt and slacks to poke through the green peppers available at the nearest grocery store.
Whether it’s out of innocent or morbid curiosity, Yoojin stays rooted in his spot, watching the man pick up a cucumber and turn it in the fluorescent lighting like it’s a scientific specimen. “That’s not how you’re supposed to do it,” he can’t help but say when it looks like the man is about to put a bruised zucchini into his basket.
The man turns to him, eyebrow raised. “Oh?”
Yoojin, cursing himself all the while, reaches over and points at a scratch in the skin of the zucchini. “It’ll go bad more quickly if you choose one with scratches. Also, it’s better if you pick one with shinier skin.” Yoojin inspects the available zucchini quickly and picks one that he’d buy for himself. “See, this one is better.” He presents the zucchini to the man.
The businessman slowly puts the one in his hand back on the shelf and reaches out to take Yoojin’s. “Thank you,” he says. Yoojin feels the brush of the man’s fingers against his palm down to his bones.
“If you want to buy good cucumbers, you should choose the ones that are more firm,” he adds, not sure what else to say. He subtly shakes his hand out by his side, trying to rid himself of the lingering sensation of fingertips on his skin.
Thankfully, the smile growing on the man’s face pulls his attention away from his hand. It’s the kind of smile that people use when they’re trying to hide amusement, and Yoojin’s hackles automatically rise at the thought. “This fellow customer has been so helpful,” he says amicably, tucking the zucchini that Yoojin handed him into his basket. “Perhaps you’d be willing to help me with the rest of my groceries as well?”
Yoojin makes a face. “I have my own things to shop for.”
“Then we can accompany each other.”
“There’s no need—”
“Where do you suppose the aisle with noodles is?”
His pink string is, Yoojin finds, a complete asshole.
Unfortunately, Yoojin can’t figure out a proper excuse before the man begins herding him in the direction of the opposite side of the store, so he resigns himself to his fate. “You’re going in the wrong direction,” he says once they pass the noodle aisle.
The man hums with interest. “Am I?”
Yoojin revises his assessment. His pink string is actually insane.
The man ends up dragging him down the sauce aisle. Yoojin leaves him to stare blankly at the array of soy sauce while he grabs another container of gochujang and a bottle of rice syrup. Yoojin watches him stare at the shelves of bottles for a very amusing twenty seconds before reaching out and snagging the brand that he uses at home. “Here,” he says, pressing the bottle into the man’s hands. This time, it leaves less sparks. “Have you never cooked before?”
“Knowing how to cook and shopping for ingredients seem to be two different skills.”
Yoojin snorts before he can stop himself. “This ahjussi is good at talking around the topic. Whatever he means, he should say.”
The raised eyebrow is back. “And this customer isn’t very polite to his fellow customers.”
“The other customer was impolite first, so it seems both are at fault.”
The man rolls his shoulders in an aborted shrug, like it’s true but he can’t be bothered to acknowledge it. “What is this impolite customer’s name?” The interest in his expression feels genuine.
“If that’s what you want to know, then you should give your own.”
“I’m Sung Hyunjae,” the man says easily, though the way he looks expectantly at Yoojin afterwards makes Yoojin think that he should recognize the name.
“I’m Han Yoojin,” he says, despite the very Yoohyun-like voice inside him that says he shouldn’t give his name to strangers that he’s known for all of two minutes.
“Would Han Yoojin-ssi like to help me choose a bag of somyeon to buy as well?”
And Yoojin should say ‘no’ and continue with his own grocery shopping, but he feels the incorporeal weight of the string around his finger and finds himself saying, “Will Sung Hyunjae-ssi be able to choose without my assistance?” instead.
Sung Hyunjae smiles.
When they go to check out, Yoojin finds out that Sung Hyunjae already paid for his groceries when he goes to hand over his card. “That was unnecessary,” he protests once he’s caught up to Sung Hyunjae at the entrance.
Sung Hyunjae hardly even blinks. “What if I wanted to pay for Han Yoojin-ssi?”
“It’s still unnecessary.”
“Then see it as someone paying for their junior.”
Yoojin pauses. “Should I call you hyung, then?” he says, trying not to laugh. It feels unwieldy and informal in his mouth, and even without asking, he knows that Sung Hyunjae would agree.
“Let’s get closer first,” he says, as expected.
Yoojin chooses not to linger over the choice of words—when are they ever going to meet again?—and instead nods politely to Sung Hyunjae. “Thank you for your assistance today,” he says, even though he was the one to help Sung Hyunjae choose his items and having him pay for Yoojin’s groceries felt more like a favor to the other man than himself.
“It was my pleasure.”
Yoojin leaves Sung Hyunjae at his car and heads towards the bus stop, doing his best to convince himself not to look back as he walks away.
(He gives in eventually while he waits at the bus stop, watching the pink string bob and shift as Sung Hyunjae drives back to wherever he must live. It’s much more active than it ever had been before, and unfortunately just as attention-grabbing and annoying as the person it’s connected to.
Maybe that’s what the pink color stands for, Yoojin thinks wryly as he boards the bus. Annoyance.)
-
Yoojin really, really expects to never see Sung Hyunjae again. Seoul is a big city, and it looks like they run in completely different circles. Why would he ever meet the man again?
Unfortunately, Sung Hyungjae does not seem to have gotten this memo.
“Ah, Yoojin-gun,” Sung Hyunjae greets when he steps up to the counter. He’s wearing his full business suit again, and Yoojin has a brief flash of worry that his workplace is near this coffee shop. Will he have to see Sung Hyunjae all the time from now on?
Yoojin shoves this impending spiral to the side in favor of giving Sung Hyunjae a dry look. “If Sung Hyunjae-ssi will call me Yoojin-gun, then I will continue to call him ahjussi.”
Sung Hyunjae, the bastard, just smiles. “Would you prefer Yoojin-ah?”
Yoojin can’t help the shudder that runs down his spine, face twisting like he just took a bite of a lemon. Coupled with that expression… “Yoojin-gun is fine,” he says reluctantly. “What does ahjussi want to drink?”
Sung Hyunjae just orders a black coffee, which seems terribly in-character for him. “Does Sung Hyunjae-ssi not have a coffee maker to make coffee for himself at home?” Yoojin asks, handing Sung Hyunjae’s card back to him and beginning the incredibly arduous task of filling a travel cup with coffee that has already been brewed.
Sung Hyunjae follows him around the counter. “Either way, I’m here to see Yoojin-gun, of course.”
Yoojin frowns. Sung Hyunjae would’ve had no idea that Yoojin works here, if this is his first time visiting the coffee shop. Has Yoojin just not seen him?
He fits a lid over the cup and hands it over to Sung Hyunjae. “Have you been here before?” he asks curiously. It’s possible that he came in during a rush hour and Yoojin just didn’t have time to register who he was, though that seems unlikely.
Sung Hyunjae smiles and takes the coffee. “No. Thank you for the coffee, Yoojin-gun. I’m sure I’ll see you again soon.”
Yoojin frowns at Sung Hyunjae’s retreating back. Surely he’s just imagining how foreboding that sounded.
-
“No.” Yoojin stops in his tracks and gapes.
Sung Hyungjae waves. “Hello, Yoojin-gun.”
“You—” Yoojin looks around wildly, not sure what he’s expecting to see, but it’s still just the walking path next to the Han River that he was strolling along before, and still just Sung Hyunjae sitting on a bench to the side of that path. “Are you stalking me?”
“Why would I stalk Yoojin-gun?”
“That’s the question I should ask my stalker.”
“I’ll wait here until you’ve contacted them.”
“Then I’ll ask again: why are you here, Sung Hyunjae-ssi?”
Sung Hyunjae just smiles. Yoojin wonders how he always manages to make the expression so that it perfectly gets on Yoojin’s nerves. “I’m just here to enjoy a walk along the river.” It’s a completely reasonable explanation, but somehow Yoojin doesn’t believe him. “It would be more enjoyable if I could join Yoojin-gun.”
Yoojin doesn’t even pause to think about it. “No.” He spins on his heel and heads back the way he came, never mind the fact that he really did come out here to take a walk.
Walks can happen any time. Avoiding Sung Hyunjae takes priority.
-
A week later, Yoojin spots Sung Hyunjae standing outside of a high-rise building, looking down at his phone.
Yoojin crosses to the other side of the road.
-
“No,” he whispers to himself, looking in through the window of the coffee shop he was prepared to step into, and resigns himself to going without caffeine for the morning.
-
“I cannot believe you.” Yoojin frowns at Sung Hyunjae.
They’re back on a bus.
He resolutely does not make conversation for the entire, twenty minute commute to the stop that he gets off at. He also resolutely does not look at Sung Hyunjae, who, based on what Yoojin can see out of the corner of his eye, spends that time smiling at Yoojin.
He does see a young woman sneaking peeks at the handsome businessman sitting a few seats down from her and wishes that he could live in her blissful ignorance.
-
“So you’ve never spoken?” Yoohyun frowns and puts a hand out for the bowl of cut potatoes that Yoojin passes to him for the pot of doenjang jjigae simmering on the stove.
“We spoke once,” Yoojin corrects. “Twice, if you count the coffee shop. Wait, three…?” But do any of those meetings really count as talking to Sung Hyunjae?
“And you know for certain that he’s the one who’s connected to you?”
Yoojin shakes his hand at Yoohyun even though he can’t see the string dangling from his pinky. “It’s hard to miss.” It’s actually rather eye-catching when Yoojin is standing next to Sung Hyunjae, since it contrasts so sharply with the man’s entire look.
Yoohyun shoves Yoojin’s hand out of his face with an exasperated look. “Fine, fine. I just thought I’d ask. Can you get the eggs from the fridge while I cut the mushrooms?”
Yoojin does as he asks, grabbing the container of gyeran jangjorim and bringing it over to the table where they’ll be eating. “Like I said, I see him around everywhere, but I don’t want to talk to someone I don’t know.”
“You don’t know anything about him, then?”
“He’s probably rich,” Yoojin says, wrinkling his nose. “He said that his name is Sung Hyunjae. He drinks his coffee black.”
Yoohyun stops in the middle of putting mushrooms in the pan to turn around and stare at him. “Sung Hyunjae?”
“Yes?”
“You’re sure?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Yoojin impatiently gestures for him to turn back to the stove. “Yah, Yoohyun-ah, if you have something to say, just say it.”
Yoohyun slowly turns back around and gives the mushrooms a few half-hearted swipes. “Hyung, if you’re right, the Sung Hyunjae that I’m thinking of might be one of the richest men in Korea. Top one hundred, at least.”
That can’t be right. “He rides the bus,” Yoojin points out reasonably.
Yoohyun gives him a look. “Rich people can’t ride the bus?”
“Why would they?” Sung Hyunjae does seem like the type to have a chauffeur drive him around everywhere. It fits his arrogant, handsome chaebol look.
“Hyung, can you…?” Yoohyun gestures vaguely to the pan before raising his phone. “I’ll see if I can pull up a picture of him.”
Yoojin sets his hands on his hips in indignation. “You’re asking your brother, the person who raised you, so rudely?”
“That only worked on me the first two times you did it,” Yoohyun says, raising an eyebrow. “Eventually you have to run out of ways to guilt me into doing things for you.” Yoojin keeps staring. Yoohyun sighs. “Hyung, could you please make sure the mushrooms don’t burn while I look up this person to help you?”
“Sure, Yoohyun-ah.”
Yoohyun snorts and steps to the side so Yoojin can take over at the stove. “Whoa, he has a lot of overseas investments, apparently,” he hears Yoohyun mutter after a few moments. “Mostly in technology—oh, here we go.” He tilts the phone in Yoojin’s direction. “Is this him?”
Yoojin’s not sure what he was expecting when he looks over at Yoohyun’s phone, but it’s still not a professional picture of the same man who may or may not have been stalking him for the past month. “Huh. Yes, that’s him.” He returns to cooking the beoseot bokkeum, but for some reason, the only thought that runs through his head at that moment is that the Sung Hyunjae he saw once in the grocery store, sleeves pushed up to his elbows and looking confusedly at the shelves of soy sauce, looks much better than the one that smirks at him through the screen of Yoohyun’s phone.
Yoohyun elbows him out of the way of the stove so he can begin adding seasonings to the pan. “You said that you’ve never seen a thread in the color that you’re connected with before?”
“Pretty much.” He has seen the pink before once or twice, but it’s hard to tell what it might mean when it connects two strangers. He catches Yoohyun’s concerned look and shoves him gently on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about it so much, Yoohyun-ah. Let’s focus on dinner, okay?”
If his current track record with Sung Hyunjae is any indication, he’ll be forced to figure it out soon anyway.
-
When Yoojin next spots Sung Hyunjae at a crosswalk intersection, the most he can muster is a deep sigh of resignation. “I’ve seen Sung Hyunjae-ssi more often than my own brother recently,” Yoojin says, waving to him in greeting. It’s somehow reassuring to see Sung Hyunjae look equally startled to see him this time, rather than infuriatingly smug. Of course, his version of startled is a delicate raise of both eyebrows rather than just one, but Yoojin takes it as a victory.
“Yoojin-gun,” he greets. Unfortunately, Yoojin has no other option than to join him at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change. “Yoojin-gun does seem like an older brother type.”
Yoojin eyes the man next to him and tries to imagine him with any siblings. Not any younger siblings, surely, but perhaps one that’s older? Though the thought of Sung Hyunjae calling anyone hyung or noona… “Sung Hyunjae-ssi is an only child,” he declares.
“Yoojin-gun seems very confident about this.”
Yoojin is, strangely. “Yes.”
“Hm,” Sung Hyunjae hums. “I have a sister who’s older by thirteen years.”
“Do you?”
“Certainly.”
Yoojin narrows his eyes at Sung Hyunjae’s guileless expression. “Sung Hyunjae-ssi doesn’t have any siblings,” he decides.
The light changes. “My sister will be so disappointed to hear this when I tell her,” Sung Hyunjae says mildly as they cross the street.
“Sung Hyunjae-ssi shouldn’t lie to strangers.”
“Yoojin-gun is so cold for calling me a stranger when he said himself that he sees me more often than his brother.”
“Don’t make up strange meanings to my words, ahjussi. I can always just look up the real answer on Naver.” Once they reach the other side of the crosswalk, Yoojin takes two steps before he realizes that no one is following him. “Oh, are you headed somewhere else, then?”
Sung Hyunjae’s pause lasts for another second before a corner of his lips lifts. “The best place for me to be is by Yoojin-gun’s side.” It’s a statement, but there’s a question buried beneath it as well.
Yoojin throws his hands up in surrender. Perhaps if he and Sung Hyunjae get sick of each other, the universe will grow tired of pushing them together. “Fine. Fine! If you do anything suspicious, I will call the police,” he threatens. “I’m going to go eat dinner at that restaurant over there. Come on.”
The dinner, surprisingly, goes no worse than any of their other interactions. Sung Hyunjae, in his collared shirt and slacks, should look out of place amongst the worn tables and chairs of the family restaurant that Yoojin and Yoohyun have been going to since they were children, but instead he looks… comfortable. Softer.
Yoojin glances down at his string once during the dinner, throat crawling with some thick, unnamed emotion. It’s still there, swaying gently in the air between them.
Maybe he can give Sung Hyunjae a chance. Maybe there’s something more to their chance meetings, a reason why the string connects them.
When he looks up again, there’s a there’s a split second where he’s convinced that Sung Hyunjae’s eyes are unerringly trained on the base of Yoojin’s pinky where the string is tied, but between one blink and the next, he has his infuriating smile plastered back in his face and Yoojin uneasily brushes it off as his own mistake or a trick of the light.
Strange.
“Ahjussi,” he says once they’ve finished their food. “You’ll be paying, right?”
“I should get something in return for paying for Yoojin-gun so often, shouldn’t I?” Despite his words, though, Sung Hyunjae puts down his card without waiting for a promise.
“Sung Hyunjae-ssi seems like he has the money to spare.”
“Is Yoojin-gun so confident that he’s what I prefer to spend my money on?”
“I trust that Sung Hyunjae-ssi is polite enough to pay for the person in need in front of him instead of waiting to purchase another unnecessary accessory.”
“Yoojin-gun should be my next accessory, then.”
Yoojin makes a face. “What nonsense is this ahjussi saying?” Is he just an item to this rich person? Thankfully, one of the restaurant employees interrupts to return Sung Hyunjae’s card and that line of conversation is dropped.
Yoojin takes a deep breath once they step out of the restaurant, feeling like there might be something different, something changed in the air. The sun is just starting to set on the horizon, and the rays of golden light reflecting off of metal and glass are equal parts warming and blinding.
“I’ll see Yoojin-gun again, hm?” Sung Hyunjae hums, turned away from the direction that Yoojin will be going. He still doesn’t know anything about Sung Hyunjae, much less have his contact information, but he believes it. He’ll have time to unravel all of this man’s mysteries in the future.
They’ll meet again.
“See you, Hyunjae-ssi.”
#definitelyhuman10#can I just say that I find your username so funny#sina writes#sctir#s classes that i raised#red string of fate au#I hope you don’t mind that I kinda played around w the universe concept a bit?#this is really only abt half of what I originally planned to write#but I was reaaaallly starting to struggle w the story towards the end so you get this halfhearted cliffhanger instead orz#my headcanon is that pink is for qprs#but that doesn’t have a huge bearing on the story as it is rn lol#also btw it’s fun to hear that someone else headcanons yh as aro haha#happy pride month from this aroace fanfic author to you all#I’m still working on prompts btw!! it’s just taking me a bit to get thru them
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Can we talk about about how Colin looked in ep 1 when he first saw Marina compared to how he looked when he saw Pen in ep 8. Almost the exact same look! Of course his look to Penelope is probably more about his guilt because he brushed her off when she tried to warn him but still..progress! Lol and then when he's getting ready to leave for Greece, he glanced towards Penelope's home. I think they're having Colin's feelings for her grow gradually in the show instead of all of a sudden like in the books.
Hey! Thank you for this insightful ask of yours :) Sorry for the late answer, I took a long time to write this— without further ado, here we go!
Indeed, Polin is first and foremost a story of gazes, those gazes being of many natures. Whether they are love ones, friendly ones, admirative ones or lustful ones, looking imposes itself to be a huge parameter in Penelope and Colin’s love story.
In order to understand that on screen, film-making has at its disposal a very rich and smart langage of its own. Sometimes, comparision helps to underlines the differences between one character’s relationship with person A mirorring person B. I feel like Shondaland and Chris Van Dussen wanted to introduce the audience to the evolution of our Bridgerton men’s perception of Love. For instance, while Anthony views attachement— to Siena— as a way to escape his responsibilities before becoming his villain (...until our queen ma’am Kate Sheffield comes to the picture), Benedict doesn’t comprehend this universal concept and prefers to enjoy the many physical pleasures life can offer. In other words, the older brothers already explored their sexuality here and there, making them the infamous rakes that they are. As for Colin, it’s a complete other thing.
Colin is young. Very young. At 21, he’s just left Eton College and barely knows anything of the world nor women. Like Anthony said in 1x06, Colin hasn’t been taken to brothels which is a very important step in the building of young men’s sentimental and sexual education during that time period. Since he missed this essential step, our sweet/immature boy has no clue about how to deal sagaciously with his feelings and his “foolish” impulses, baring his naivety. At this point of the story, we can easily come to the conclusion that Colin is a virgin who can’t drive XD. He’s just a child overcame by his passions, a hopelessly romantic who rushes things without taking the time to properly court or know his significant other. And his off-screen flirtation with those supposed numerous girls in London isn’t of any help to justify his (oh so little) experience. So when he sees Marina, he’s so struck by her... mainly by her alluring appearance. And he doesn’t seem to let his eyes nor mind go beyond her exquisite beauty.
In this perspective, the whole Colin/Marina storyline can be perceived as a parallelism to the Pen/Colin’s one. In 1x01, he is immediatley smitten with a dancing Miss Thompson, which happens to be ironically the same case with a 17 year-old Pen but with him. We got to see her, a few moments ago, dreamily looking at him from the back of the dancefloor (echoeing the episode where she fell madly in love with him after he fell off his horse at Hyde Park). She’s charmed by his dashing look and his kindness, yet she doesn’t seem to know anything else about him considering the rare conversations they share. Her burning gaze fits the original story from Julia Quinn’s books because in Romancing Mister Bridgerton, the 28 year-old spinster Penelope do realize later on that Colin is more than a good looking man : he’s a human who possesses a temper and flaws.
Either way, both of our boos are portrayed as hopelessly young people in love who childishly idealize the objects of their affection.
In 1x08, it’s the other way around. It’s Colin who sees Pen first, her who appears to wear the yellow dress’ lookalike from the pilot—what an interesting call back ^^. With his mouth slightly agape and his eyes wide open, we can catch sight of the timid spark of a change in his gaze : Colin Bridgerton notices Penelope Featherington. He‘s touched by the realization that she cares about him. It would be rather inappropriate of me to say that Colin is already in love with her. However, in the finale, I do believe that he’s more struck by her high level of deep care for him than her beauty.
We are thus able to spot two big differences in Colin’s relationship with women in this season : when his attraction to Marina was purely physical and rushed, his attraction with Penelope is more emotional and slow. And for now, he comes to cherish his special bond with her, especially after she tried to warn him of the dangerous trap he was about to fall into. Even if he just sees her as his younger sister’s best friend right now, Pen matters in his life. And it’s still a little yet important progress for sure.
Speaking of which, I agree with you that this look of awe as well as realization is mostly mixed up with guilt. Since he didn’t take into account her words, he felt the strong need to apologize. But bear in mind that guilt formulates a considerable part in Colin’s feelings for Pen... and it’s only the very beginning. In the future, he’ll blame himself for not seeing her as the beautiful goddess and siren that she is in the first place. He’ll blame himself for not reciprocating the feelings for her.... Though at the moment, due to his lack of experience with women, Colin is oblivious to Pen’s obvious signs of sorrow when he told her he’s leaving for Greece/Cyprus. Next time, he’ll detect her sadness and won’t let her go, I’m sure of it (if he doesn’t I’ll riot).
Furthermore, I’m so glad you brought up the scene where Colin glances at the Featherington house. I had the same thought as well. When you put this still and the one where Pen is crying while looking at her window side by side, it even seems like they’re looking at each other. In a way, it implicitly confirms Pen’s key role in his final decision... After all, she’s the one who inadvertently inspired him right ?
The act of traveling has always been seen as cathartic since leaving home to discover yourself allows you to heal your broken heart and soul. It’s natural for Colin to do this. To make his first real steps into the world. His choice is quite relatable more than it is essential for his arc in the series. I can’t wait for him to come back all changed, hot ^^ and mature. I think, like you said, they are planning on making him progressively falling in love with her. Colin’s feelings will gradually leave the platonic zone to explore and officially stay in the intimate zone throughout the seasons.
Overall, the Colin/Marina and Colin/Penelope parallel in s1 mostly helps viewers to compare the way Colin evolves from being a stubborn naive boy to a heartbroken young man who’s aware of his crutial need for Experience. His coming of age, just like Pen’s, has just begun. And they will surely lead to our boy changing himself into the true charming rake that he’s meant to be and our girl into a more confident woman. Consequently, I think their story won’t take 10 years but rather at the very least 5 years perhaps to fit the TV timeline. Once Polin will finally be able to discuss, we’ll hopefully get to see more interesting nuances and shades added to the portrait they painted of one another over the years. They’re indispensable to the slow build up of their emotions/attraction as well as the shattering of their childish idealization/perception of each other.
All in all, I’m so loving the fact that season 1 beautifully sets up the importance of the gaze in Polin’s love story. This first installment is like an expository scene of a play. It leaves a trail of clues and pieces of information here and there at the reach every viewers who can pick them up and analyze what can be the main themes which will determine one character’s story arc/romance. With Polin we have : admiration, wit, love and friendship, desillusionment. (I know they are more but it’s all I can think of rn lol).
If we’re already emotional messes just with the mere power of them looking at each other, imagine when they’ll actually talk and share real conversations. It’s going to be a long way to canon but luv me some good fluffy angsty steamy slow burn :) ✨ I hope this long of mine answers your ask ahah, even if I talked about many things other than just Polin’s looks. Also, sorry if you spot some grammatical mistakes, English is not my first language.
#bleulone answers#anon#ask#meta and gush#polin#polin meta#colin x penelope#colin bridgerton#penelope featherington#julia quinn#romancing mister bridgerton#bridgerton#shondaland#chris van dusen
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Extremely fascinated by your wag AU tag 👀.
thanks bestie so am i.
okay lmao so this isn't an actual fic that'll ever be written but. i was talking to my friend about it who still hasn't finished dts season 3 unfortunately but it means that i've switched around ages and years etc. i promise this has the potential to be a fun and sexy time but there's just s o much background shit that needs to be discussed. tw for mentions of irl deaths etc:
but pierre & charles meeting when they're 5-6 (which is what i think charles actually says irl but someone said it might've been closer to when they were 10-11? regardless.) and charles' dad passes away when they're 9-10, and jules when they're 13-14 and charles quits racing then. (fyi i know that irl jules passed away first)
he thinks about quitting when his dad passes away but keeps going with help from jules. so when the accident etc happens, it's not even like an active decision he ponders. he just knows there's no way he'll race again.
and pierre's been with him throughout everything, his best friend who he can talk to when he can't bear looking at his own family. so he doesn't understand when pierre tells him he's going to keep racing. when charles had told him he was never going to get into a kart ever again, pierre had nodded, grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight. important to note that they're barely teenagers rn so yes charles feels betrayed that pierre isn't feeling the same things he is and isn't choosing the same future for himself etc.
they have a huge fight, lots of crying, lots of dramatic teenage angst. but it ultimately ends with charles shutting pierre out of his life. which is easier said than done when it's your best friend whose family is super close with yours. but it works because pierre is off racing around the world and charles has done all he can to never have to think about that stuff.
so charles goes to school, is doing uni somewhere in europe. studies something generic like business or maybe if i'm feeling suuuuper indulgent i will have him major in environmental studies like moi <3 pointedly does not come to monaco during grand prix weekend or the week before or the week after.
and then anthoine passes away too. (they're 20-21 now)
they see each other again at the funeral but don't talk, they meet up afterwards. pierre breaking down in charles' arms, clutching at his back, telling him he was right. pierre should've quit, he can't do this anymore either. they haven't said a word to each other in 7 years but charles still knows pierre, and knows that this isn't actually what pierre wants. or what he should do. (charles vaguely knows pierre's in f1 but doesn't know he's with redbull, doesn't know redbull's the top team etc)
"you can still do this, you will," charles tells him.
"not without you again."
so then comes the challenge of mending their relationship while still working through the shared trauma, and the Layers of past trauma. and also just the general awkwardness that comes with a friendship breakup/makeup situation you know! they can't just act like nothing happened but would it be easier that way?
they start texting first, then they play fifa or cod together. (sometimes pierre's british friend lewis joins too.)
slowly slowly slowly, they become friends again and then inseparable too. maybe even closer than they were before and charles only now realizes how much he missed pierre. while pierre still can't believe he has charles back now, it's as good as he let himself imagine.
the part i'm unsure about is if i would want pierre's career trajectory to be the same or not. because i think the demotion adds SUCH a painful but interesting aspect to his ~storyline. but ultimately i think maybe he just doesn't get the second seat immediately. spends more years with toro rosso/alpha tauri before getting "called up" (sorry i have no idea what the proper terminology is haha ignore the nba/nhl terms).
he invites charles to his first race in the red bull and charles says no. immediately. pierre's quiet on the other side of the phone, internally thinking he messed this up somehow. he thought things were going well and he takes this as charles doesn't want to see him. but he knows there's a lot more that's stopping charles and he also knows charles will definitely pull back if pierre asks about the other stuff. so he moves right along, asking charles about school, the weather, and tries not to let it show in his voice that he misses his best friend and needs him too.
"i'm going to try to watch," charles says, after pierre's yawned goodnight through the phone and is waiting for him to hang up. because you know pierre's not going to hang up first.
"what?"
"the race. i'm going to try. goodnight!" mentally charles slams the phone shut but really he just smashes at the red button before shoving it under his bed and looking at his hands trying to get answers for what he just did.
his only relief is that he didn't promise pierre he would watch, just that he would try. couldn't even choke out a, "good luck." (insert long paragraph about charles letting pierre down or thinking he has).
he only watches qualifying. pierre p3. already knows on saturday that there's no way he can watch the actual race.
but on sunday when he's supposed to be going over his notes for his climate change science & policy course (yes.... i did it...) he finds himself with his heart in his mouth refreshing formula1 dot com. watches the random names move up and down while keeping his eyes on 10 - gasly. (starts shaking for a second when he sees pierre's name drop until the IN PIT sign comes up across his name. fellas the thing about triggers is-- anyways.)
the scariest part is that by the time he's scrolled through all of red bull's socials to look at pictures of pierre on the podium (he finished p2 sorry i know this truly does not matter), he's forgotten about the race. the anxiety sits small in the back of his throat, his happiness for pierre is bright and loud in front of him. charles sends him a message, asking him to call whenever he can and adds a blue & red heart emoji which feels like a Big Step. but basically pierre calls and acts like nothing has happened since the last time they talked. mentions the breakfast he had in detail as if he didn’t get a podium in his first race with red bull. finally with a big team. but charles embarrassingly realizes that maybe his text didn't exactly imply in literally any way whatsoever that he knows the results of the race and was trying to congratulate pierre with this call. charles probably feels so embarrassed at this point but somehow still can't manage to say anything about the race until the next day maybe.
maybe texts pierre, good job. or, you were great. or something about him and not the race. or maybe reposts a picture from red bull but not one of pierre in his car, pointedly. only one of him on the podium. and pierre probably reposts it with the squid emoji and/or my favourite sentence in the world, merci petit calamaro.
charles cries when he reads it.
not to be lazy now but [insert 10k words of them building their friendship. meeting up in monaco with both of their families. meeting in milan or london or paris idk where pierre would live. but he flies charles out. not on a private jet because charles flat out refused lol. not because he's an environmentally conscious king he's just too, embarrassed? overwhelmed? by pierre doing Things Like That for him. even though he wants it lol. like when he graduates he's soooo annoyed that pierre couldn't come celebrate immediately because it was race week. but when he comes home his apartment is filled with flowers (roses, his favourite) and balloons and a giant teddy bear as tall as charles. and he DOES post 12 instagram stories to go with the other 30 from his other friends congratulating him. so yeah charles goes through a lot of personal growth and therapy. to the point where he's watching pierre race again, and waiting for him to invite him to a race again!!! do not even think about actual dates i'm fucking begging you but the one he goes to is monza :))))]
ultimately charles' path to understand/accepting/moving on from, his trauma, happens once he has pierre back in his life. it's also encouraged by pierre, but it's also not entirely because of him. not sure how to word that but yeah. these things are happening at the same time but charles still has to go through them by himself.
pierre takes him on romantic dates all around the world and charles doesn't realize that's what they are. fully in his bestie vibes only mood while pining for pierre in a way he doesn't even quite understand. almost a self deprecating, jeez whoever gets to date pierre is going to be so lucky :/
fanpage on ig: met pierre's alleged bf he's so pretty and sweet, i complimented his shoes and he was so nice.
charles reading that: i didnt know he was dating someone :( why wouldn't he tell me :( well at least someone complimented my shoes today :(
pierre doesn't necessarily think they're dating, but he does know charles doesn't quite realize what they're doing so he's just waiting for him to come to terms with it.
not to give this au 10 different subplots but yeah that miscommunication plot becomes our prize for surviving through the first part of this.
but yeah at the last race of the year, that pierre wins because i said so? charles finds him before he goes on to the podium, kisses his helmet. says i love you, i'm so proud of you.
THEN, finally, charles does become pierre's wag. we made it kids. we did it joe.
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Master list - Hobbit
Thorin Oakenshield
Alpha Dwarf - So this is my first Hobbit fan fic. Yay! So basically this is an alpha Thorin and Omega Reader Fanfic. Will do more. Just a story I came up with in my head. Let me know what ya'll think.
For Me? - Hi uhm, could you maybe do a birthday fic plz? My birthday is coming up in 11 days and i was just wondering. Uh maybe make it something like a thorin or kili x reader and they find out her birthday is that day? And then they like go to all this trouble to set up a really nice day for reader and then like smutty at the end maybe?(if not comfy with smut its cool) and just something cute plz? Tyvm! Love your work btw. Sorry you wont be around much longer Youre great(not tryin to be rude at all)
Short
Lion, Wizards and Dwarves oh my! - From the ask... After the battle of five armies. Thorin is currently courting you, you´re not from Middle-Earth originally and he had for beginning high doubts about you but you proved him wrong and he fell in love with you. Erebor is in peace and is thriving. But that happiness isn´t going to last as an dwarrowdam from the Iron Hills arrives in Erebor with hopes that Thorin Oakenshield would agree to marry her after all these years. She was in love with him when she saw him in the Blue Mountains, Thorin was kind to her but didn´t love her. When she discovers that Thorin has already found his One and it´s a human girl she vows to have her revenge because of the broken heart. She finds a wizard who casts a spell on him which turns him into huge black lion. When you see Thorin in lion form you´re panicking because you don´t know it´s Thorin but luckily he can still communicate with you. So now you´re forced to deal with Erebor´s kingly duties with male lion beside you and that causes quite a few hilarious commotions around the corridors time to time. Luckily Balin has been able to make contact with Gandalf who is on his way to help you.... ( A/n: oh you are lucky I love you! will be a two part fic)
Different Kind of Afterlife - When Thorin is killed by Azog the defiler he drifts off into what he expects to be the afterlife but things are not as he thought they would be. Based off of a dream I had. Story was too good to pass up, Hope ya like it.
Porn Star Dancing - Quick drabble of Thorin being stuck in our world for a while and living with the reader and learning what it is she does for a living. Way out of my comfort zone but writing for a friend for her birthday. Hope you like it and let me know what ya'll think.
Born this Way - Elves and Dwarves despise each other so for someone to be of both races would be considered a down right freak of nature, a mistake. Hated by everyone because of what you are you find it hard to believe when Gandalf, one of your only friends asks you to help your fathers race. You knew you would not be accepted but maybe a king will learn a lesson or two along the way...
The Sick Thief - Hi. I'm sick rn and I was wondering if I could get a fan fiction where the dwarves have returned to the mountain and Thorin has the dragon sickness? His s/o is bed ridden with a terrible cold and he assumes that that means she took his stone, so he barges into her room to confront her and sees her having a coughing fit. When he tries to talk to her he hears how congested she is? Thank you, I know this is a lot. (I'm still sick btw... Ugh!) Lol.
Rut Tired - Got this a while back and I am a horrible person that has only yet to start it but here it is. Basically you are Thorin's intended mate but he is an alpha and you are human and normal. Thankfully she is letting me use some of her work for inspiration. Sorry again for it taking so long.
The Hunt - So I was asked to write more Alpha Thorin fics and yall all know those are my thing so here you go. Basically Omegas are rare and in the dwarven community priceless. So when one is born and comes of age they are forced to go on a run and be hunted like sport to see who their alpha will be.
Darkness - When Thorin finds out that Reader helped Bilbo give away his Arkenstone he decides to make an example of her.
Beorn
The Bear and the Wolf - Beorn is the eldest son of the king of bears. He is known best by his clan for being incredibly strong and overbearing at times. So what will happen when he is brought face to face with the girl he has been arranged to marry, the only daughter of the alpha wolf. Will he force the free spirited shewolf to change? Many trials lie ahead for the totally opposite skin changers. But will they make it through it?
Not Enough - Reader overhears Gandalf and beorn talking about a proper mate for him.
Colliding Worlds - Beorn had accepted that he would die alone. That he was the last skin changer but what if he was wrong. What is two wizards knew of another that had been sent away when the orcs came.
Less of a Man - Was thinking what it must have been like for beorn in azog's prisons.
Frisky Bear - Hi OMG i just wanted to say I love you Beorn stories and I was wondering if you were going to do more with the Less of a man series? also was wondering if you could do one with him where maybe the bear him like gets frisky towards his wife or whatever....NOT bestiality or anything but maybe just little stuff. If not I understand I'm weird I know. Sorry. Thanks.
Hidden Status
Bofur
Down in Goblin Town - Bofur must hide his wife from the goblin
When you’re Ready - so need a bofur imagine; preferably one about being lost in the tolkien world from our own and he takes you in, until he learns you're an omega and his instincts are to watch over you until you're ready to be his mate!!
Sometimes Serious - Just some Bofur fluff. Pre hobbit.
Dwalin
Fight like a Girl - Unexpected events convince Dwalin that his wife needs to learn to fight. don't know how good is going to turn out but oh well. Just a little thing I thought of before bed.
Thranduil
Hold Still - The elf king has to get a hair cut and doesn't like it. Written for my best friend hope you feel better soon.
Say Too Much - Trade up for my dear Ashely_Winchester_77... could you do Thranduil x reader where they have been fighting. And he almost loses her to orc in battle. And fluff happens later, plz! :-)... now i get my beorn fic YAY!
#the hobbit#the hobbit fanfiction#thorin oakenshield#thorin x reader#bofur x reader#dwalin x reader#thranduil#thranduil x reader#beorn#beorn x reader
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hey zira, what are your hot takes on all of the fo4 companions?
Haha, I don’t know how hot they are, but I can give you a speed run! (Also I am very excited to get this. FO4 was the first open world game I ever played and just the concept of that and the hugeness of the world and branching story & sudden feeling changes towards me in companion characters totally blew my mind, & it still lives rent free in my heart).
Ada, Old Longfellow, and Strong I /still/ haven’t maxed despite having too many hundred hours to want to list on this game—the former bc they were DLC, Strong because honest to god I left him at a nice settlement and then completely forgot about him and remembering that I am the energy in this Ryan O’Flanagan video but abt leaving my super mutant in a tiny settlement alone. I will get there! To max affinity I mean. But anyway, I don’t truly know those three, so my takes are incomplete. So far though, I really like Ada. She is a good girl just trying her best. Fucks me up I can tell her to self destruct. Even though I feel sure she would ignore me, I cannot imagine ever saying that to her. It was really sweet she was willing to forgive the Mechanist and move on with her life. A good girl. Longfellow I am maxing rn (was last time I played anyhow). I enjoy him. Gruff grumpy old man but he seems quite decent and I like his idle banter and when he sings to himself a lot. Seems like he’s had it rough. Strong I liked. He’s wild, and I loved how insane meeting him was, and am worried about him eventually understanding poetry and how that might mess up his sense of world understanding. But he’s a chill dude in his own way and I am glad they gave us at least one nice super mutant.
For the companions I actually do know like the back of my hand, the speedrun:
Nick Valentine: Best man on earth. One of two fictional characters I ever called husband. I would die kill or live for him. I want to be 1/4th the man Nick Valentine is. One of the best characters ever period and I adore literally everything about him. It fucked me up early in game where right after he offered to basically risk destroying his mind to help a stranger look for her son, he asked me how I was doing. First character in the entire game to do that. His first companion dialogue is abt how you’re doing TuT. The man is very kind and forgiving and fair, but knows when the draw the line and take no shit. Emotionally mature, kind, caring, longsuffering. Incredibly damaged and broken by life, but holding on and living kindly and to help others anyway. One of the four most marryablen fictional men I’ve ever seen.
Preston Garvey: Brave, kind, sweet man. I would defend him with my life. He really just wants so bad to make the world better and life has been so hard, but he’s still trying. A beautiful and underrated companion and I would throw hands for him on sight. I adore how he whistles. A true and gentle and loyal friend. Take him to Quincy and let him get his justice it’s what he deserves. People who hate him because he tries to get help helping civilians in that game are weak. I love him so much... please give him enough time to reach max affinity he’s so worth it.
Deacon: *To the tune of You Are My Dad* You are my friiiiend! You’re my friend! (Boogie woogie woogie). Initially, he pissed me off bc he lies all the god damn time, but after we got close enough he actually trusted me, he stole my heart and I would also die for Deacon. He’s a really good person who thinks he’s shit because of who he was on his past. Also him 🤝 Preston: massive survivor’s guilt. They should be friends. Poor Deacon has been the last member of the Railroad like four times, and it’s awful. Help him. Give him love and support. He’s one of my all time faves. Also, Railroad hands down best faction and if you kill them for any reason other than like a walkthrough route video and I ever get the chance I would 100% clock you in the face as hard as I can, like going for losing teeth, and feel no guilt. I know it’s a game and that’s wrong, and I’d be wrong, but I’d still do it. Also, Ryan Alosio (his VA) saw me do cosplay for Deacon once and told me it was great and it filled me with even more love. Anyway Deacon is great. Also, his whole “There are other organisations out there. And, in time, I'm sure they're going to spoon-feed you their own patented form of bullshit. Ignore the verbage and look at what they're doing. What they're asking you to do. What sort of world they'd have you build and how they're going to pay for it.” Is one of the like, two most iconic quotes in all of FO4 & just super good in general.
Hancock: Hardcore badass man but also a good dude and a champion for the people. Man really puts his money where his mouth is and you gotta respect that; another favorite companion for sure. Big fan of the way he stabs a guy for you upon meeting, and is a cool leader who organized his crime and does a decent job actually leading. He works hard to help people and bites back hard. Social justice advocate, dangerous man about town, not afraid to cosplay a revolutionary war hero 24/7 & u gotta respect the no fucks given attitude. A chill dude. Like that he fights the institute, hates the Brotherhood, helps the Railroad, and is friends with Nick. He’s legit af. Also, his VA gives a different answer every time someone asks him about the voice he did for hancock and they’re funny af.
Piper Wright: A cool spunky lady. Lois Lane on the case, kicking butt, and taking name. She’s nice but also hardcore and smart, supportive, fun. A good person. You always get points if you like Nick (which most companions do), and they’re good friends. She’s funny and I love her. A good heart.
Codsworth: He’s great. He’s family. He’s like my...weird brother. Getting to max affinity is heartwarming and also makes my heart go :’-] . Great early-game companion bc he kicks ass and doesn’t need stims to heal. I love getting called by my name and think that was a great feature (well, my PC’s name). He’s a wonderful funky little robot dude and I am so glad he likes me.
Dogmeat: Amazing. A good boy. Doggo of the year. His actor deserved the game award she won. Cute, full of love, and plays with a teddy bear if you give him one. 100/10z
Cait: I like her a lot. She’s been through so much shit, and it makes sense she is how she is. I like they actually gave her an emaciated and messy (though still pretty) design, since she is a drug addict. And that they make her main quest about taking that seriously and wanting to get help, and that she’ll call out the player if they fuck around and do drugs in front of her after she gets rehabilitated. Her relationship to the PC if good is really sweet, and I am a fan. I like that while she’s not sympathetic to synths and thinks they aren’t people, she forgets that every time Nick walks into a room and is like “Oh hey Nicky : )”. She’s a good girl who has been through a lot and still needs time to heal and find herself, but she’s making great strides.
Robert Joseph MacCready: Human disaster (loving). Homeboy a goddamn /mess/ but I love him. He tries so hard to be cool. I love he makes you pay him to come with, then chickens out and gives it back lol. A fool ball of anxiety and bad decisions and what he thinks brovado is. I wish he, Preston, and Deacon would quit fighting, bc I am always like “ :’-] </3 Boys Please” when they swap out, but I love them just the same. He’s doing his best, he’s just stupid and a fool. Like Philip J Fry. Keeping his goddamn soldier toy, which somehow is listed as junk instead of sent to Misc with quest items where it would be fine, safe?parylizes me with fear. I’ve lost 2 hours of gameplay reloading an old save bc I accidentally lost it.
X6-88: A more complex one to answer about. He’s bad, but like, I’m pretty sympathetic to how he got that way. He was created in a lab and had his emotions mostly dragged out of him in intense psychologically damaging training so he would be a weapon and view himself as an object. I was relieved he chose me over the institute even if he wasn’t a fan of the chocie, and think that means there’s a lot of hope for him. Wish he’d chill the fuck out and quit intimidating civilians for 6 god damn seconds, but I like him. I bring him fancy lad snack cakes home from travels all the time, bc Synths are supposed to like them. Really like that he’s the /most/ sympathetic companion towards Danse in Blind Betrayal, even though he should not be programmed for that, and Danse hated him and made it clear any time they interacted.
(EDIT) Curie: I FORGOT HER BABY IM SO SORRY. I like Curie a lot, despite the fact I temporarily forgot she existed. I stg I thought she was in here. Uhhh, okay. Curie: like her character and personality, HUGE un-fan of both the way her desire to get a synth body is to be ‘more real,’ as if Codsworth isn’t a fully realized person while the same robot type she is, instead of just like. Because it would make her happy. ALSO hate how much of a Born Sexy Yesterday she is, even intentionally in not-determinate affinity talks. It’s gross. But her herself, I like a lot. She’s my daughter and I will protect her. She works at The Castle right now as their on-site medic.
Paladin Danse: I know I’m gonna take heat for this but honestly? He didn’t do much for me. I like that he looks and sounds kinda like Buzz Lightyear, and that’s fun, but idk at all why people think he’s so hot. He’s very boring & generic looking to me. Like you’re valid! Taste all be different. But he doesn’t do it for me personally in looks or personality. I don’t at all like, hate him. Or even dislike. Tbh I am fairly neutral on him. It was funny making affinity with him though. Every other companion I had maxed, I liked more and more with each affinity talk. They’d be like “So my dad was a minuteman and died and I want to honor him” or “I just want to really feel like I’m a person, for real, myself, and I am glad I met you, because the good we have achieved together is ours, even if I can’t be sure of anything else,” or “My brother threw the cultural minorities out of our city for clout bc the rich citizens were all racist, and I tried to help—I snuck them food to the unsafe ruins they set up in for weeks, but eventually, they just vanished, and I still bear immense guilt and self-hatred over not having stopped that.” And Danae’s would be like “One time a buddy of mine got kidnapped by super mutants. They turned him into one of them, and they’re all abominations, so I killed him and it made me really sad.” And I was just like “...Oh danse. I really wanted to like you more. But what the fuck.” His relationship to Haylen is sweet though. And ofc I saved him in Blind Betrayal. I blew up the Prydwin so he’s safe now too, and he lives in the garden by my house and tells me how glad he is we’re friends, and I’m p into that. Overall, my feelings on him are not strong at all though.
Porter Gage: Not a fan. Like, I appreciated he helped me kill the old boss, sure. And bc I owed him for that, I went to max affinity to see what there was to him as a person. And like, as far as raiders go, he was okay. But he wasn’t deeply sympathetic, and he’s a slaver, and if you try to liberate the slaves he and the others own, he /will/ turn on and attempt to murder you immediately, no matter how close you were, so he made his choice, and it was to be a bad person and an asshole to the last. Really enjoyed the VA’s work a lot on him tho.
And there you have it 👈👈😎. Thanks for asking!
#ask#anonymous#fallout 4#fo4#god I love them so much. I was really proud I kept all the OGs too. everyone but Gage. who had to go but it’s his own choice and fault 🤷🏻♀️#GOD far harbor was a good dlc. it’s like the main quest choice again but way more condensed and twice as f ked up. my poor MC had only#come to terms just before with all the lives she took & started healing#doing bad things she did not want to do & knew he would know about and think less of her for doing. but she did them. 😔 bc of course she did#then she had to choose between letting the dude she loved be hurt in a way he wouldn’t recover from & torpedoing her relationship to him by#she loves Nick and if it’s him or her it’s always gonna be her#I was SUFFERING. a lot. but I also loved it#don’t come into my inbox and clown about liking Danse please or Gage. idc at all#like you are welcome to your opinion I’m not gonna try to convince you /not/ to like him. plz do me the same courtesy & respect my right to#have an opinion u may not like
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So I got bored and decided to type out a list of the cartoons/tv shows I’ve watched, cause why not! I think this is all I’ve watched, or at least recent enough (I’m thinking like…. 2014/15 onward, when I actively started to watch more cartoons)
It’s kinda long, and I’m kinda rambley, so I’ll put it under a keep reading thing (if I can) so you don’t have to scroll through that if you don’t want to. Idk who will actually read this, but hey maybe it’s an idea of what kind of things I might reblog on here! I’m always taking any suggestions for shows to watch, I love learning about and watching more and more cartoons! So if there’s something I didn’t list as something I watched and you think of be interested, feel free to please recommend it! I may update this with a reblog or an edit or something at some point in the future, idk though. For now, its September 19, 2020, and here’s what I got for ya
This ended up way more rambley than I meant for it to be but I started writing it at maybe 12:30ish am and now its almost 2am when I’m getting ready to post it so oops 👀 I’m not really expecting anyone to read this but hey, it’s something! Read if you wanna know what shows and other stuff I watched lol idc
Cartoons I’ve watched in their entirety (or what’s all aired as of today 9/19/20):
(updated 12/2/20 as starting with ATLA)
Gravity Falls - watched since late 2014
Steven Universe (including the movie and Future) - watched since mid June 2015, right before the second stevenbomb/sworn to the sword (early season 2)
Over The Garden Wall - watched back around when it first came out, can’t remember exactly when but sometime in 2015
Star vs The Forces of Evil - watched the first 2 seasons as they aired, then stopped watching for a while and rewatched the whole show in June 2019
Hilda - watched for the first time in I think October 2018, rewatched in May quarantine
She-ra and the Princesses of Power - watched all 5 seasons about/not even a week after season 5 came out, idk why I waited so long to watch it
The Owl House - started watching it after the grom episode aired, idk why I waited so long to watch it but molly and noelle and everyone was screaming about grom on twitter, so of course I had to watch it then
Kipo and The Age of Wonderbeasts - watched it all in early August, right before I watched The Owl House
Infinity Train - watched the pilot back in 2016, then the first season when it came out, but then I started college and didn’t get the chance to watch the 2nd/3rd season until I decided to watch the whole series (s1 again, 2/3 for the first time) this past week
Ouran High School Host Club - ok I know it’s anime not a cartoon and I can’t see myself reblogging anything from it but it’s literally the only anime I’ve watched more than like 1 or 2 episodes of/the only one I’ve seen in its entirety so I figured eh I’ll mention it
Camp Camp - I almost forgot to mention this one! I started watching it when there was I think only 3 episodes of season 1, so back in 2016, and I’ve loved it since then! I guess this summer’s season couldn’t happen cause of covid.... But I’m still excited for when/if it does eventually come out!
Avatar the Last Airbender
Shows that I’ve partially watched but not completely:
We Bare Bears - I’ve seen the first 2 seasons, maybe some of the third I can’t remember, I watched it when it first came out but I haven’t watched it in a while, so I would probably need to rewatch a bunch of it (I did rewatch I think the first season sometime this year? But it was while working on school projects so I wasn’t giving it my full attention), apparently there’s also a movie now???
My Little Pony Friendship is Magic - I was huge into the brony fandom from roughly 2013ish-2017ish, I’ve seen up to season 8 and a few episodes of season 9, and the 4 equestria girls movies, and the mlp movie; I probably know seasons 1 - 4 the most, maybe a little of 5, 6 and 7 are kinda fuzzy but I’ve seen them, 8 I watched over quarantine (since it’d been a few years since I had watched any of it, I also rewatched bits of 5-7) as well as I think the first episode or so of season 9, but I don’t remember them too well. I watched the movie (the pony one, not eqg) when it came out in theaters, and not too long after that I drifted away from the mlp fandom (tbh I was drifting a little bit before it came out, but I knew I had to stick in there at least until it came out since I had been waiting for so long for it). The equestria girls movies, I saw them all when they first came out (I even saw rainbow rocks in the theater). I think there’s like, half hour shorts or episodes or something?? That’s in the eqg universe?? But I don’t think I’ve seen any of them, and if I have it was probably a really early one a long time ago because I haven’t really kept up with anything after Legend of Everfree came out
Animaniacs reboot - I’ve seen the first 5 episodes and it’s nice!
Shows that I’ve only seen an episode or few of that I (probably) intend on continuing to watch:
Glitch Techs - I saw the first episode! Definitely want to continue it
Rick and Morty - I watched a few episodes of the first season in like March/April quarantine, but I was still dealing with online school at home finishing out last semester then. I think I want to watch this eventually, but I have other shows that I want to catch up on/watch before I’d get to this one
Tangled the Series - idk if that’s the name I’ve seen multiple names but I hope you know what I’m talking about, I saw a handful of episodes from the first season I think sometime around fall 2019, but I’d probably have to rewatch the whole thing
Adventure Time - I’ve never had cable/cartoon network so I didn’t watch this growing up, but I’ve heard really good things about it and seen a bunch of stuff from it (I’d have to be living under a rock to have not seen anything lol) but it’s so long and I just haven’t gotten around to it yet! Well I’ve seen maybe a dozen or so episodes of the first season but it was a while ago so I’d have/want to start over probably
Shows I haven’t started
Amphibia - I’ve heard it’s good! I just haven’t gotten around to it yet
Avatar the Last Airbender - probably next on my list to watch, I’ve been meaning to watch it for years but I haven’t yet, its on Netflix now so that should make it easier to watch and a friend from school made me promise that this would be the next one I’d watch so that’s what I’m doing (I did watch the last 2 seasons of infinity train that night though, since I was really wanting to finish it first… But atla is next) watched it! (updated 12/2/20)
The Legend of Korra - obviously I’m waiting to watch it until after alta, and I’m probably going to watch it right after I finish atla
The Dragon Prince - idk really anything about it other than I think it’s on netflix? and apparently it’s good and maybe gay idk but I’ve heard it’s good thus why it’s on here lol
Black Horseman - idk too too much about this other than apparently it’s good but also kinda depressing. Similarly to rick and morty I want to watch it eventually but its not insanely high on my list
OK KO - don’t know a ton about it other than it’s decent, a step up from r+m/bojack on where I want to watch it but not urgently
Ducktales Reboot - similarly to OK KO, don’t know much about it other than it’s decent, same level of want to watch
Milo Murphy’s Law - saw a couple episodes when it came out, haven’t watched it in forever so if I ever do want to rewatch it I’d have to restart it, not super high on my priority list though
Bee and Puppycat - another one I almost forgot! I don’t know a ton about this but I’ve heard its nice! Plus from what I’ve seen I like the artstyle so 👀 maybe someday
Animaniacs (original) - I started to watch the reboot and I think I want to watch the original eventually! Just haven’t gotten around to it yet
Clone High - listen it’s not that I desperately WANT to watch this, I just have friends who are like, hey, watch this lol it’s apparently not super long so why not
Other non cartoon shows I’ve watched:
Brooklyn 99 - idk when I started watching it, maybe around season 4/5ish? I think sometime in 2018 so idk the season, idk, most of the episodes I’ve only seen once so I couldn’t tell you exactly what happens in every episode but I still like it
Rise - ugh I miss this show, I started watching it after/around when the 3rd episode came out (end of March 2018?), and I don’t think I’ve watched any of it since it ended (mid may 2018) cause its not on any streaming services anymore :/ at least not that I know of but I loved it and would love to rewatch it
Andi Mack - I’d heard it was good but hadn’t watched it after it ended (early august 2019 I think I watched it), haven’t rewatched it since then but it was decent, I mainly watched it cause I had seen clips of gay but yknow it was alright
Sex Education - watched 1st season sometime in 2019, when rewatched it/watched season 2 when it came out January 2020, this is like WAY more mature than like anything on this list but like it has an interesting story
Love Victor - watched first/currently only season when it came out mid june 2017 (how was June so long ago what)
Queer Eye - I’ve seen a couple seasons of it idk I figured why not add it lol
Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist - I think I watched this around when there were maybe a few episodes of season 1 left (well there’s only one season now but still), idk I liked it cause like musicals and stuff idk
Idk what else to add to this section but if I think of anything (to any category on this list) I’ll probably update it later maybe idk (again I’m not necessarily going to be reblogging stuff from all/any of these but like, I figured I’d mention it cause idk)
Musicals:
Another thing I love is musicals, like I’m a design/tech major in college rn so yeah I like theatre lol so I’m going to list some I’ve seen (mostly watched bootlegs of, but I’ll list some professional/tour ones I’ve seen in person)(but if it doesn’t say anything special I probably just watched a bootleg, 2017 was a big year for me and my google drive being filled with bootlegs…) This might not be all of them and I won’t go into as much detail (I hope, I haven’t typed it yet) but we’ll see:
Broadway tours I’ve seen: (I swear this isn’t bragging they were cheap seats way up high lol)
Dear Evan Hansen (May 2019)
Wicked (first professional show I saw, October 2017, haven’t watched a bootleg or anything of it since then and I went in completely blind)
Mean Girls (November 2019, last professional show I saw before quarantine)
Come From Away (September 2019)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (November 2018)
The Book of Mormon (August 2018, was hoping to again this August but quarantine :( )
Non professional/high school/college/other shows I’ve seen in person/been on crew for (not all of them, but some) (assume I’ve also seen bootlegs/proshots if there are any)
Newsies
Spring Awakening (spot op)
Shrek (props)
Legally Blonde
I’ve seen done way more but I don’t feel like listing them or that they’re anything I’d want go reblog/actively look at fandom content for (that’s not saying it reblog stuff from shrek the musical but still lol)
Other shows I’ve seen only in proshot/bootleg form:
Basically every Starkid show
Spies are Forever
The Solve it Squad
Hamilton
Heathers
Be More Chill (yes I was in that big amalgamation of musical fandom stuff with these and deh in 2017 aaaa)
Falsettos
Beetlejuice
Spongebob
21 Chump Street
Les Mis
Phantom
(Again maybe not necessarily all but some there’s a slight chance I might reblog things about)
Musicals I still need/want to watch/listen to:
The Prom
Six
The Great Comet (not typing it all out)
Hadestown
Waitress
Bonnie and Clyde
Something Rotten
Tuck Everlasting
Again there’s more I want to see I’m sure but I haven’t really watched bootlegs in a while…. Idk feel free to suggest shows tho
Movies I’ve seen/like: obviously I’m not gonna just every single movie I’ve seen but heres a few I like:
The Sound of Music
The Wizard of Oz - these 2 have actually always been my favorite movies since I was little, I can’t dee myself reblogging much of anything about them but figured I’d mention them cause why not
Love Simon
Some but not all Disney movies (I grew up with no cable/mostly just pbs)
Most pixar movies?
I don’t think John Mulaney shows count as movies but eh whatever I’ve seen them on netflix
Idk what else lol I know I’ve seen more movies than this but eh
If anyone actually read all of this... Wow I’m surprised honestly lol have a free cookie or something for your struggles or smth, idk, thanks for reading this though lol I appreciate you (but also slightly worry, this was a lot of words and a lot of rambling)
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@animaliae
ok first off i’m sorry i took so long to reply!! i’ve been busy in the most tedious way possible so my brain’s not exactly my best friend right now. second off: THANK U SO MUCH these were so fun to answer!!
i’m putting all of these in the same post because i started talking and i could not Shut The Up, and i think one atrociously long post is better than four long posts when it comes to like, scrollability. scrollpastability? scroll-Something. and putting it under a readmore too for the same reasons
SO, from top to bottom:
weirdest character idea for D-N-D:
it’s an idea i’ve already had because i can’t come up with anything right now dksjfgbd, but
once i made a druid for a D//N/D-based CRPG who only cast spells when they gave him something edible (in theory ofc, the game didn’t let me eat my summoned bears... thankfully...), so i ended up with nothing but goodberries and several animal summoning spells. then i proceeded to cheat my way through the game, which defeated the point sdfgsd, but it was still fun concept-wise
also made me spend too much time wondering if the entangle spell’s vines could be eaten. i mean you can’t eat the WHOLE thing but maybe you could like, munch on it a little, or try to slurp it up like a noodle. it wouldn’t be tasty, it wouldn’t be easy, and it most definitely would not be healthy, but it’s like. the principle of the thing
if ur asking yourself WHY i did that… well there aren’t THAT many D/ND-based CRPGS out there and i’d already played that one —several times, in fact— so i wanted to try something different :0
i mean it’s not THAT weird tbh, but he’s the only OC i can think of right now that soooooort of fits? and my brain is like, a tundra of creativity at the moment. a deep tar pool that absorbs all inspiration and drags it, kicking and screaming, to its viscous doom. well you get the idea. or i hope you do because i sure fucking don’t
ideal ending for one of my characters:
hmmmm for like, original fiction characters i more or less have all their endings planned out? most of them ARE ideal because i am fully in control of their destinies and i am also a softhearted lidle bich who prefers stories with relatively uplifting/happy endings. or tbh even the ones that aren’t technically happy are still ideal in terms of character arcs, development, etc
(i might be giving myself way too much credit there though skdjgbdksjfg)
and —though this is super unlikely and mostly just me deceiving myself at this point— i do want to publish what i’m working on rn, so talking about endings would be a spoiler for something that does not exist and probably never will outside of my idiot fool head. so i’m gonna talk about an old OC that i’m not doing anything with anymore!
her name was elina and her entire deal was that she came from a family of very powerful witches who owned a, uh, i guess you could call it an archive? or a library?? idk, it was just an ABSURDLY large collection of magic-related books, and it pretty much contained all known arcane knowledge (though come think of it, “all known arcane knowledge” can’t have been THAT much because the archive was just one room. a huge fucking monster of a room yeah but like. still just One)
so anyway, her family members were very dutiful + responsible when it came to the archivelibraryroom thing, but they were also too traditional for her tastes? like they didn’t bother practicing/using magic, or experimenting, or looking for anything outside of books; they only cared about written things, and even then they did nothing but get the Very Important Books, put them in the archivelibraryroom and forget about them completely
then elina ran into a group of other magic-users who were investigating a weird phenomenon in her hometown, and she asked her family about it, but they essentially were like “oh if it doesn’t affect the books we don’t care lol anyway it’s your turn to clean the archivelibrary now”
but yeah i’m sure y’all can tell where this is going kjdfgbd elina was the typical YA protag in that she was super rebellious, so she turned her back on her family and left her house to help the group of inconveniently yet stereotypically teenage magic-users, made friends, learned about magic, blah blah blah
the issue is that i never gave that story an ending? like the closest thing to it was a vague “uhhhh elina goes back home to find the archivelibrary is burning down and pulls some kind of mysterious water magic out of her ass to save it; then her family apologizes, they begin to respect her and she stays with them to keep caring for the archivelibrary, But With A Progressive Twist”
the issue was that after writing around two chapters i realized i didn’t actually Have a plot, so i didn’t know what story that ending would be... ending... and since i couldn’t think of anything + i wasn’t THAT attached to the characters anyway i just gave up on it
but now that i’m thinking of it again, just for the sake of ending the Story That Never Was, i feel like making her earn the respect of her family just because she saved the books + proved she actually cares about that too is, idk, shallow? out of character?
because she believed that her family’s fixation on history + Neatly Documented stuff was holding them back and making things worse for everyone. she left her home behind because her ideals re.: magic —that it should grow and change to fit the context + people’s needs, and not the other way around— were so strong
OOF THIS IS GETTING SO FUCKING LONG KSDJGB i’m just gonna stop here and say: elina’s new ideal ending is pretty much that while she ends up in friendly terms with her family —because, in spite of their fundamental disagreements, they never hurt her— she doesn’t go back home and chooses to travel around the world instead, helping people in whichever way possible and freely sharing her knowledge with anyone who’s willing to listen and, at the same time, learning from them
i mean, the concept’s not too original ksjdbg just something i thought of super quick, and that’s just a half-assed attempt at closure for an OC i made when i was like… 9
headcanons about my favs:
ok this one’s hard because i’m not into any like… fandom things right now? i haven’t found anything that rly interests me or that i could see myself being passionate about, which sucks because i do kinda miss being into stuff with Established Content :(
so i’ve been focusing on my OCs + original stories and such. and i’m not sure if OC headcanons count as headcanons because i control canon so technically everything i come up with IS canon. then again it’s headcanon too because it’s a canon from my head because that’s where ideas come from. okay wait i’m not making any cents here x
but uhh knowing me i might think of something right after publishing this, so if that happens i’ll come back and edit this post :0
also just saying but if any of y’all know of something i could get into then lmk, i’m open to suggestions! preferably free stuff though... i’m beset by capitalisms
a favorite scene that i loved:
i can’t remember any in particular right now, either from my #content or somebody else’s SDFKJGBDF god my mind 😔 well i mean i’m gonna be a little bit full of meself and say that i’ve written things that i really like, especially imagery-wise, but i Also want to publish those someday… like i’ve also written original/OC-related stuff that i don’t plan on publishing, but i’m not THAT proud of them tbh :/
i was —emphasis on was— trying to write a short story about jasna (one of my D-N/D OCs, a cleric of oghma) that never really went anywhere, but i did post a snippet on my OC blog, and that’s what i hate the least out of all my recent attempts at writing? so i’m just gonna put it here again ig sdfgs (not actually linking to the OC blog post because it’s kind of a mess rn, i need to fix the theme + clean it up a bit)
if you got this far and read all of this nonsensical verbal monster: i love u with all my heart and i would legitimately die for u.
#otherworldly whispers#hope it's OK that i'm mentioning u btw!!!#just so u know i wasn't like. ignoring you or anything dsfkgsd#also if i'd answered the question directly it'd have shown up in ur activity feed anyway right? so technically it's the same#... i think...#long post#im talking a LONG ass fucking post that's not a joke or an exaggeration this bitch is LONG#text heavy#food ment - . / (Kind of? not really????)#family ment - . /#fire ment - . /#again kind of not really#ask me to tag - . /#bc im not sure how else to tag this skjdfb
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Do you tend to eat more on Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas?
halloween doesn’t end up being any additional food for me whatsoever. Christmas we seldom actually plan a full meal for the day of (which i know is wild). Thanksgiving we plan to have all sorts of food but I will spend so much time prepping that by the time food comes, i NEVER get to eat a full plate. so I guess maybe Christmas?
Do you think you have a sad life?
no. I think i’ve sad some challenging things and I think if I choose to pinpoint the negatives, I’ll find them. But I have a lot to be grateful for and a lot to look forward to and my story is not finished yet.
What’s one award show you have to watch every year?
literally none.
How often do you go shopping just for fun?
gosh I would love to be able to buy something for fun. I have so many new expenses now that i’m on my own from K.. i seriously need like 2 jobs in order to make this work. lol. I have a gc from christmas for $50 and i’m hyperventilating over all the things I wanna get and trying to figure out which one I want the most.
Who do you like more: the Batman or the Joker?
I really didn’t become obsessed with the series.
What’s your favorite Panic! at the Disco album?
idk
Do you like bacon?
yes but only if its not burnt.
Do you have an annoying dog?
i dont have a dog rn. I seriously am so behind on processing my trauma over the last 2 years that if i even stop to think about miller for more than 30 seconds i will break down into a HORRIBLE sob.
As a kid did you like Barney, Baby Bop, or DJ more?
hmm i think barney
What flags do you have in your room, if any?
I have a collegiate flag from my alma mater. I was planning on taking it down haha
Do you wash your car by hand or drive through a car wash?
drive thru. our water line is bust for the driveway.
What is your favorite party game?
psh switch or rummycub or cards or anything really.
What was the last thing you bought from a vending machine?
uhhhhhhh man it has been a while since ive been by a vending machine
Have you ever sent a postcard? Where from?
yes. many a time.
What color hair did your first crush have?
he had like a sandy blonde hairstyle when I first knew him but as he got older it turned into a brown.
Have you ever visited your nation’s capitol building?
no.
What is your favorite park?
one out here that makes me feel at home.
What sports teams do you root for, if any? (Extra points for Boston fans.)
bears. cubs. so many college teams.
Do you dunk your cookies in milk?
sometimes but there aren’t many GF cookies.
What is something you are confident about?
i am confident i have a lot to offer. I have a good personality. I can be funny. I am confident in my academic skills. I’m confident in my cleaning/organizing. I’m confident in my smack talk & sass.
Do you prefer loose or form-fitting clothing?
I tend to wear loose but its crazy I wear form fitting tshirts to bed often and i caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror the other night and was like wow, i actually look a lot smaller with the form fitting.
^ What about on the opposite sex?
i like things to be well fit or ever so slightly larger. but i don’t like tight and i dont like huge/oversized.
What do you do when you are really, really mad?
I go on a drive.
Do you put a line through your "7"s?
usually yes just to make sure it is distinct from a 1
^ What about your "Z"s?
sometimes if i feel spicy
What is one thing that someone could do to you that is unforgivable?
forgiveness is a really complex thing. I think something I would not tolerate is being inappropriately touched. like, buh bye.
Do you like broccoli and cheese?
absolutely.
What about potatoes and cheese?
absolutely.
Toaster or toaster oven?
Toaster oven is my preferred but we don’t have one any more. or an oven for that matter.
What are you most known for?
depends on who you ask.
Do you have any reputations? What are they?
so like my HS group my reputation was like.. the untouchable. which is funny. I refused dates all the time. I didn’t pay any mind to romance. I was really fixated on studies, church, and safety. At work my reputation was that of an obsessive organizer/cleaner. very neat. very merchandiser-friendly. in my family I’m known as the funny, positive, non-confrontational one. the one the kids hangout with. the one everyone vents to. with my friends I am the support system. the hype squad. the one you vent to. the one down to down anything and nothing.
Do you wear band shirts?
i would for some bands but I just dont have the money to buy them.
What was the last thing to leave you speechless?
a conversation with K tonight.
Have you been called a bad influence?
uhhh jokingly yes.
Have any self-done piercings?
yikes no
Ever pierced someone else?
I could never do that.
What was the first television show you were obsessed with?
recess i think
Do you and your friends normally say you love one another?
yes. especially after alix almost died it really amped up our desire to vocalize to one another that we love each other.
Do you have a lot of trees around your house? What about buildings?
we have loads of trees here.
Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die?
wowsa no. i dont have that in me. honestly i think even with my assault or the stuff with my dad.. i still dont harbor that sort of anger.
What would you do if the last person you kissed said they hated you?
that would be very surprising as he is quite affectionate towards me. I’d probably inquire why.
Whose name might you have tattooed on your body?
none
Who might you send a selfie to?
Z, uhhhhh maybe Sam or Sawyer or Charlie. but mainly just Z.
What part of your body typically has an ache?
this lupus is really raging on my joints. rn its my left shoulder, left knee, both ankles, right wrist. sometimes both elbows.
Who would you call first after getting engaged to tell them the news?
oh man. mom liza karla and em.
Have you ever hung out in a cemetery after dark?
yes. we have a cemetary that is supposedly haunted by my house.. like 10 mins away and my sister and her bf when i was way younger, wanted to go there when it was nighttime on halloween so we did.
Is your mother a Christian?
Yes
How often do you use hairspray?
maybe like once a week
Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them?
uhhhhhhhhhh probably but none that come to mind.
Have you ever been kicked out of a public place? Why?
uhhhhhhhhh not that comes to mind
What do you dislike about the house you live in?
I would be SO thrilled if i had my own bathroom.
Do you check the weather forecast regularly?
yes. its going to snow all day tomorrow.
Do you live on a main road?
yes
Do you own a pair of sunglasses? How often do you wear them?
yes. never.
Have you ever made yourself as a Sim?
heck yea
What did you last pack a bag for?
uhhhhhhhhh hanging out at ems for a while
Do you watch TV while you eat?
yes often we do. mom cannot handle listening to grandmas eating (she refuses to use adhesive with her dentures and it is ... very noisy) so we typically put on some show so it can drown out the noise.
Do you know anyone whose gender is non-binary?
some people i went to school with.
What was the last thing in your house that broke and had to be fixed?
the fridge situation. it had to be replaced entirely.
Do you prefer candles or incense?
candles.
What's something you do even though you know it's bad for you?
eat dairy without a dairy pill
Do you pay attention to the news?
nooooooooope. i avoid it and i am in bliss because of it. no regrets.
Do you have a vlog?
no.
If not, have you ever considered starting a vlog?
i mean it’d be cool to have a private one as a diary for me to look back on.
Did you go to AM or PM kindergarten?
i was homeschooled. it was all day long lol
Have you ever watched a live birth video?
i mean ive seen several live births in the flesh.
Have you ever given birth?
No
Is your mom mentally stable?
shes been fighting depression this past year.
What’s your favorite type of crackers?
goshhhhhhhhhh i miss triscuits so bad.
What was the name of your first crush?
Chris
Do you take medication for anxiety or depression?
no
If so, does it work? Does it help you? Or does it make you feel worse?
-
Who is your favorite cousin?
michelle
What’s your favorite flavor of frosting?
literally any. I LOVE frosting.
Do you like toe socks?
no it kinda creeps me out.
Who was your best friend in high school?
em, nathan, jon, jake. those were my closest peeps at the time.
Does anyone know who your first crush was besides you?
i mean probably. everyone liked him but he was really into me. it was a super sweet story.
How many teachers have you had crushes on?
uhhhhhhhh 2.5 professors that i was like mmmyes.
How old were you when you had your first kiss?
16th birthday
Do you have cellulite?
yahhhhhhhh man. who doesnt.
What was the name of the first pet that you loved?
millie.
Did you have your own room as a child?
gosh no. not until i was like 17?
What color was your nursery?
It was whatever color my sister wanted at the time. I think it was pink first.
Did your parents know your gender before you were born?
uhhhhhhhh i dont think so because mom was going to name me Casey if i were a boy.
Do you have a healthy BMI?
nope. but its also a crap measurement so im not as bothered.
Do you share a birthday with anyone in your family?
nope
What photo editing software do you use?
ill use filters for coloring on lightroom
Do you plan to move any time soon?
kind of yes. it keeps coming up
Would you rather have pink or green hair?
pink i liked when i had pink.
What’s more important to you: books or music?
books.
Do you like the name Natasha?
Its fine. i wouldn’t name my baby it but i dont mind it
Have you ever been so mad at someone you hurt them?
i am sure i have. even tonight, K said what I was saying to him made him feel life had no value --- which is frustrating because i was only stating our situation. but I guess if I could have just not spoken to him, i would not have hurt him -- even if it was unintentionally.
Are any of your relatives pregnant?
my sister! growing another nephew. :)
What colour is your favourite bra?
soft pink.
What kind of bread did you eat most recently?
i havent had bread in over a year.
In the last book you read, what was the main character’s name?
i dont recall. rebecca i think
What was the last song you heard, that meant something to you?
somewhere with you has been a little hard for me to listen to
Did you start listening to more Michael Jackson after his death?
no, i had a real big obsession in the 90s and early 00s before his death
When was the last time that you played hide and seek?
lol this summer with my nephew
Do you worry about money?
every day. im so sick of worrying about money.
Have you ever had to beg for a second chance?
Yes. its so weird because ive never begged for a second chance from someone because ive hurt them. ive begged for a second chance when theyve decided to move on. which is pretty pathetic.
What’d you last look up on YouTube?
that clip that goes “what’re thoooooooooooose? they’re, um, they’re my sandals.”
Have either of your parents shown affection for you today?
i have no earthly idea when my dad has shown me affection. mom did today.
What was the last thing that you bought that someone else benefited from?
this like nightstand shelf thing for remotes. i got a 2pk so i could give one to mom
What song reminds you of your best friend?
somewhere with you by kenny chesney
Who was the last person to hit on you?
Z like 30 seconds ago
What’s on the paper nearest you?
its the note from my flowers from K that says “to my forever love” i brought it up here to put in my K box. I also took some flowers out and am drying them out though idk how to gently save those.
Would you ever get a tattoo sleeve?
no, i dont think so.
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➧ 85 questions
tagged by: @jencto ty my love! ♡
rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people @ohdaddy-nct @dcyoungs @rxnjuns @reunjun @angelita-gordita @taeybear @taezhu @lycheechann and all who wants to do!! (only if u want too bbs)
↳ Last…?
1. drink ─ hot burning coffee that i almost spilled while driving to class bc it’s pouring outside
2. phone call ─ laura (my friend who just graduated high school !!)
3. text message ─ my mom (telling me to drive safe in the rain uwu)
4. song you listened to ─ jump by shinee (the album = a whole ass bop)
5. time you cried ─ oof i cry for the lamest and dumbest reasons but last night i was looking at nct fanart and i saw a cute ass noren one where jeno was dressed in a big moomin costume and wished renjun a good day w/ a ballon and it was all hella cute and shit lemme find it i rb on my personal (THIS ONE) it was,, so cute,, i actually cried,,
↳ Ever…?
6. dated someone twice ─ oof i rarely date let alone the same person twice lmao yikes
7. kissed someone and regretted it ─ i kissed this huge asshole in high school for a dare and he wouldn’t stop saying we had sex for a whole ass week,, this is why i dont date
8. been cheated on ─ nope
9. lost someone special ─ yeah but that’s the circle of life i guess :(
10. been depressed ─ oof did you mean: my four years of high school
11. gotten drunk and thrown up ─ uhh psh no i don’t drink underaged,,, mhm
12. fave colors ─ WARM TONES!! nudes (skin colors), maroon/burgendy (just like a dark bloody red), rose gold/dusty pink (the light shade of pink but not pastel), black (just bc), royal blue (the only cool toned color i like idhhdh)
↳ In the last year have you…
15. made new friends ─ yO making new friends is my middle name (i love making new friends !!)
16. fallen out of love ─ i’ve never BEEN in love...
17. laughed until you cried ─ if it’s after midnight, anything will make me laugh and cry (also i laugh at everything so yes)
18. found out someone was talking about you ─ lmao hell yeah high school drama everyone was out for me bc i look like a bitch and people are so quick to judge ://
19. met someone who changed you ─ umm not really everyone’s pretty chill. my roommate, who’s also like my best friend, is a huge party addict so she brings me to many parties, so i guess i’m more out there ? idk moving on
20. found out who your friends are ─ literally once i graduated high school and went to college, all of the snakes just left and now i’m surrounded by my real friends uwu :^] why tf is everything related to high school i don't wanna remember that
21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list ─ bruh i only have facebook so i can get extra rewards on iphone games ksjkdj
↳ General
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl ─ refer to #21
23. do you have any pets ─ i, myself, don’t have one bc i live in a dorm, but back at home, i have a doggo. she’s a thai ridgeback and her name is 巧克力 (qiao ke li = chocolate) and i miss her vv much :’))
24. do you want to change your name ─ for the most part no, i like my name, but when people call me ‘ran-you’ or something of the sort, i question why i live in america
25. what did you do for your last birthday ─ i traveled around china alone (well with my two friends back in china) without my parents for the first time bc i was an Adult™ now
26. what time did you wake up today ─ i was supposed to wake up at 8am but i didn't roll out of bed until 8:30am but hey, i made it to my 9am class 10 minutes early somehow
27. what were you doing at midnight last night ─ looking at nct fanart on tumblr and wishing that i coud draw/paint like that :’))
28. what is something you can’t wait for ─ my trip to spain!! i’m traveling to spain for 2 weeks with my friend at the end of june to july and i’m so excited bc i haven’t hung out w/ him in forever
30. what are you listening to right now ─ i’m in my accounting 2 class rn,,, so my professor lecturing about debits and credits (yes i know i should be paying attention but i’m an independent learner so i prefer reading the textbook and taking notes,, i’m just here bc attendance is graded)
31. have you ever talked to a person named tom ─ my old high school teacher whose first lecture was about corn and how it’s in EVERYTHING that is mass- produced today,,, well his full name is actually thomas
32. something that’s getting on your nerves ─ it was raining as i was walking to class and even though i had an umbrella, somehow my pants are still all drenched and this lecture room is SO DAMN COLD and i’m shivering someone save ME
33. most visited website ─ my school website lol
34. hair colour ─ jet black but in the sun it turns reddish brown ?
35. long or short hair ─ super long, it reaches my waist lol
36. do you have a crush on someone ─ does renjun count? jk kinda ?? but not really bc,, idk dating doesn’t really act as a major objective for me right now
37. what do you like about yourself ─ friendliness and outgoingness ?
38. want any piercings? ─ oof i already have a lot but i want more yes (i have 3 on both my lobes, 1 on my both cartilages, and on my right ear i have a snug ? is that what it’s called idk) lowkey highkey i wanna pierce my nose but we’ll see
39. blood type ─ o
40. nicknames ─ all nicknames i’ve ever gotten: ren, renu (my baby cousin calls me that bc she can barely pronounce words), fish..., nyu, rennie, r, human fish, + many puns on my name
41. relationship status ─ single and tired
42. zodiac ─ scorpio
43. pronouns ─ she/her
44. fave tv shows ─ the office, black mirror, we bare bears, law and order, futurama, stranger things, bob’s burgers, bate’s motel, american horror story (i love the duality between cartoons and fucked up shows dsdkjh)
45. tattoos ─ i want ones !! (prob small in hidden places) but um maybe once i graduate undergrad at least
46. right or left handed ─ right handed
47. ever had surgery ─ no - kinda? i have a scar on my eyelid bc when i was like 3-4 y/o, i was playing hide and seek w/ my uncle and cousin in china and i was running around and i turned quickly around a counter the same height as me and the corner of the counter cut open my eyelid,, this is kinda tmi but i was so stunned bc blood was running literally out of my eye so i didn’t even cry, i just stood there like ‘oh...that’s a lot of blood...’ i went to the ER to get it stitched up but idk if that counts as surgery :p
48. piercings ─ refer to #38
49. sport ─ currently i play volleyball and basketball for club, but played a lot in high school too
50. vacation ─ anywhere i love traveling !! also east asian,, mostly just china i miss my friends and family :’))
51. trainers ─ ?? uhh as in shoes? or the gym? idk,,
↳ More general
52. eating ─ as in what i ate today? if so, a bagel and a boiled egg for breakfast
53. drinking ─ coffee that’s now cold rip
54. i’m about to watch ─ uhh my professor continue talking about accounting and economics
55. waiting for ─ this class to end so i can eat lunch
56. want ─ a change of pants bc i’M WET AND COLD
57. get married ─ i sure hope so
58. career ─ i want to start and own a fashion brand/company/line (i’m double majoring in international business and trade + leadership management right now)
↳ Which is better
59. hugs or kisses ─ both i just want affection ;((
60. lips or eyes ─ these are hard to pick but eyes !
61. shorter or taller ─ taller even though i’m pretty tall as it is
62. older or younger ─ older or the same age ? (rip sorry renjun)
63. nice arms or stomach ─ arms? i need you to be able to put me in a chokehold and KO me (not in a kinky way,,, maybe,,,)
64. hookup or relationship ─ relationship duh ?
65. troublemaker or hesitant ─ team too-lazy-to-be-either
↳ Have you ever
66. kissed a stranger ─ uhh prob not
67. drank hard liquor ─ no officer i don’t drink underaged mhm
68. lost glasses ─ i literally have like 6 pairs of glasses that i keep thinking i’ve lost but then find it again
69. turned someone down ─ oof yeah sorry
70. sex on first date ─ no i have standards
71. broken someone’s heart ─ i hope not ! at least not intentionally
72. had your heart broken ─ prob once or twice
73. been arrested ─ in my good christian household?! (i’m not even christian tf)
74. cried when someone died ─ well of course i have a heart
75. fallen for a friend ─ all my friends are hot as fuck no lie
↳ Do you believe in…?
76. yourself ─ always :D !!
77. miracles ─ eh,,
78. love at first sight ─ maybe not LOVE but something similar
79. santa claus ─ i-is he not real... (i’m kidding dbksj)
80. kiss on a first date ─ sure why not
81. angels ─ renjun is a walking angel on earth
↳ Other
82. best friend’s name ─ vincent, alyssa (my two fave people)
83. eye colour ─ dark poop brown
84. fave movie ─ i watch too many to have 1 favorite but for the sake of this tag, i’ll say coraline
85. fave actor ─ i have a big gay crush on dilraba dilmurat also tom holland
el fin
#tags#personal#this is such a long post sorry mobile users ifhdihs#uhh ignore typos i'm in class#honestly this is so much info about me wow#i'm not very interesting or funny tho so#yall prov just gonna scroll pass its OK lol#YALL DILRABA IS SO FUCKING HOT AND CUTE I LOVE HER#google her if yall don't know smh
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hey ive been trying to figure out how to do this for awhile and since some anons have asked im gonna try 2 articulate my feelings about f*nn and this is not going to be very polite and im sorry, its nothing personal and if you have a perspective on him that i dont its fine and i absolutely get you and im glad you can enjoy that! i just wanted to try and work through how the fuck i feel about him and this is ultimately a pretty personal post and not a Manifesto on How F*nn Is Bad (i dont think he is, particularly, ftr), so like, if youre not interested which I CANNOT FAULT YOU FOR AT ALL, just know that its cool to go on! this isn’t trying to start shit or anything, i genuinely dont want to, im just writing this for Me, basically. its alright.
thanks thats the intro done okay take care i love u
what...does f*nn have even. he’s good in the ring but he’s surrounded by people who are better. he doesn’t have a character. what motivates him? what the fuck is he even fighting for? what is his personality, even? he absorbs the storylines of everyone around him in any feud he does too often for him to be as underdeveloped as he is and yet we are here and WHY???
i mean. apollo. let’s look at apollo! apollo is similarly kinda underdeveloped character-wise and most of who he is comes from who he is irl, and people don’t really play characters up irl! but like. it’s not glaring in the same way f*nn is, because
1) apollo got called up SUPER SUPER EARLY in nxt where f*nn had YEARS to develop a character and still holds a spot as longest reigning nxt champion, and
2) apollo plays a support role! he’s not a main event player (which is fucking criminal in and of itself but thats another issue) and him being underdeveloped+not as fleshed out lends itself pretty well to him supporting people however they need support at the moment. it’s not Ideal but it works well for who he is in the context of story stuff, which is not the case for f*nn
(also 3 secretly but apollo’s moveset is actually really varied and interesting which f*nn’s is...not but that’s a subjective thing obviously lol)
like. f*nn is just. such a nothing of a wrestler. i’m sorry but genuinely i don’t know or understand what there is there. he doesn’t have a character besides...vagueing people on twitter until he gets what he wants and yes okay i know that’s not an entirely true unbiased thing to say and im sorry but also i dont think im exactly Wrong
(also about vaguing people on twitter i know that has something to do with how bad his 2017 booking was, i WON’T deny that, and multiple people are booked badly in dubya at once and they all deserve more than that, but also f*nn’s the only person who really got any rage on his behalf as far as i’ve seen and it’s definitely affected my feelings about that)
the only thing he’s got going for him is a storied history in new japan, which itself feels lacking in the ring, and which honestly...gets...a lot more credit than deserved (and mostly SOLO credit at that)? he DID create the bullet club but his bullet club was essentially an entire stable of Foreigner Heels. cheap heat. any story he told (and i only know that there was apollo 55, im unaware of any other feuds, so bear that in mind) feels so...like...secondary to that of anyone he worked with. he could be a support role and get away with being the white bread he is but GOD FORBID that should happen, and so he just engulfs the story of anyone around him and does nothing and it’s just
it’s disappointing and its boring and exhausting to see him get shot after shot after shot doing the same thing over and over again because He Can. i have nothing much against him, i think he’s petty and petulant and very...self-absorbed, like, not in an entirely bad way but in the sense that he buys a lot of his own hype? and its...off-putting. i don’t know him personally though obviously, that’s just how i feel about him based on what ive seen, but like, as a person, its whatever. i just can’t stand him as a wrestler or a character. he’s generic and unmotivated and so. NOTHING and it’s exhausting to watch and try to make something meaningful and enjoyable out of. especially juxtaposed with the miz rn, and even with s*th, who i hate but who at least HAS a personality even if it’s a genuinely awful one
not even going into the fan reception of f*nn vs anyone else who’s more deserving and interesting than he is, lmao, i’m bitter as anything about how f*nn is treated compared to the cruiserweights because NATURALLY and OBVIOUSLY i’m biased, you all know this, i don’t deny it, i cant say this comparison is all the way fair when im so so so FUCKING cwuisewweights, but like, the reaction to f*nn getting Beachballed vs any of the 205 dudes getting Beachballed was so heartbreaking in how much More he gets just for the name he’s got
i don’t know. i don’t know. i just think he’s such a nothing of a character, surrounded by people (taguchi, joe, kevin, hideo, FUCK IT, even s*th or like, fucking, KENNY, or the young bucks, or ANYONE) who really care about the character and story they have against him, and instead of being relegated to a supporting role where he’d be like, Worth anything, he’s thrust into whatever title picture or main event there is because He’s F*nn B*lor and it’s so...so much less talked about or acknowledged and for the life of me i don’t understand why. i don’t know what it is im missing
again, i don’t have much against him as a person, i personally don’t like how he acts but he doesn’t seem Proublematique in any way beyond...the foreigner heel stuff which is inherently built in anti-japan sentiment EVEN THOUGH that is strictly kayfabe afaik (though he does fucken. support the special olympics and did some Cool Trendy Straitjacket Entrances as prince nevitt and that is a very VERY personal thing i have against him) i guess that’s what matters. i just. ugh. im over it
i appreciate him being vocally supportive of queer fans but i don’t owe him for that and i still think it sucks that he, a (as far as i know) straight white dude, is getting the platform to do that instead of people who are actually queer and out in the same company. sonya isn’t getting this chance, and more blatantly, darren never got that chance. despite having the block the hate movement, and despite the fact that his coming out is what got him a face turn while it was ENTIRELY and COMPLETELY unacknowledged in the canon universe of wwe proper. like, i guess that’s not f*nn’s fault but there’s a common trend of men of color being pushed down to boost him up and it’s not the best. i don’t think that’s all his fault but i don’t like it
again this isn’t like, denouncing Liking F*nn, its fine! this isnt decrying everything about him, i don’t wanna fight about this, and if you like finn, sincerely i’m glad you can find something there to like and i hope you’re having a good time with him! and to boot i really DON’T know much about anything he did before dubya, and so i could very well be wrong about everything. like, calling the gullet blub just a Cheap Heat Stable? that interpretation could be and probably is wrong. i know that, and i know that’s probably gonna affect how i feel abt him, but also god i do not care even a bit enough to learn and i would rather die than look at pr*nce nevitt/gullet blub anything
i dont know. i hope this didnt come off as.......TOO shitty, i know this is a stupid and mostly impenetrable post, its alright, this is just me trying to work through this for myself and i promise its not like...a huge thing. thats all! thats all. im sorry if i worded this weird at all and i know my perspective isnt the best or most informed on this, but also i am very very tired of f*nn and i don’t think that’s an unfair thing to say
#long post -#rude - probably#im trying to work this out in words this isnt an overarching Anything i promise it is ultimately just a personal thing#i dont really wanna talk about it anymore im sorry this post is literally incomprehensible but here it is i guess#i really do not want to start anything or fight about this i worded it badly and i know that and im sorry#i just. dont like him! i just dont. im allowed to do that right#im sorry im gonna lie down for a bit or something. tonights been a dumpster fire over here#and im really sorry i need to work harder on this im so sorry for complaining so much#i know its obnoxious and it doesnt matter and i shouldnt be putting it up here or anywhere! ill try to improve at that
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691
What was the best thing to happen to you this week?
This week was probably the most uneventful one of the quarantine so far... I did like the fact that I made my own dalgona coffee last Wednesday! I don’t know how it’s faring in the other side of the world, but it’s a pretty big trend around Asia at the moment.
Where do you put your keys when you get home?
I never got accustomed to putting it one place – every day it’s in a new area in the house haha but usually it’s at one of these places: hung on my doorknob, on the living room table, on the dining table, on top of my drawer, or on my bedside chest. Sometimes when I get home super late and have to wake up early, I don’t even take my keys off of me anymore.
Do you prefer hot coffee or iced coffee?
Iced, which is why I’m missing coffee shops a ton rn. I have to deal with making lukewarm coffee at home. Water’s kind of a luxury at this point with most of the water refilling stations being temporarily closed down, so I can’t really afford to waste my family’s stock of water just to keep making iced coffee.
What’s your phone background picture?
For the longest time my lock screen was a photo of Kobe and Gigi Bryant, but I just changed it an hour ago of a photo of the sky and the beach.
If you could move to any country, what would it be?
Is Finland the one whose government is populated by mostly women? I’d love to live in their world.
Have you ever seen a snake in the wild?
I may have once or twice. I live in the Philippines after all haha.
What’s your favourite movie from the 80s?
Ooh, good question. I never did like most of the stuff that came out of the 80s so I had to Google the movies that came out then. Turns out I enjoyed a few: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is my absolute favorite one, and my runners-up are Full Metal Jacket, The Shining, and This is Spinal Tap.
Do you have any posters, paintings or other artwork on your walls?
I have several wall decors of Aubrey Hepburn on one side, and I have a few paintings on the other.
What would your dream wedding be like?
Hopefully big and expensive. My parents have always preferred to keep family celebrations simple and lowkey, and I’ve been really itching to break out of that cycle and throw a huge ceremony/celebration for myself for once.
Would you ever take a trip to space if given the chance?
Already answered this in a previous survey but absolutely hell yeah. I wanted to be an astronaut for quite a long time, so I won’t let go of the chance if it came.
How do you cope with anxiety?
I take surveys, find a YouTube series to distract me, or simply take a nap. Bottomline is I can’t be stuck doing nothing.
Are you expecting any phone calls or emails?
It’d be nice to hear a reply from my prof. I submitted a paper three weeks early (she gave an April 17 deadline so that we didn’t have to work on it during the break, but I went ahead and did it and submitted mine anyway) and I would love a “thank you” or “I appreciate this,” but whatever haha.
What’s the weather like in your part of the world right now?
My weather app says 28C, which is 81F.
What was the last takeout food you ate?
Haven’t had that in a while cos they’ve also closed down restaurants. But hmm, I think we were able to get Jollibee before they imposed a stricter lockdown.
Who makes you laugh the most?
Angela, Gabie, Andrew, JM, Aya, my dog.
Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?
No. I know of people who have my middle name as their surname, but I’ve never been middle name twins with anyone other than my cousins.
What did you have done the last time you saw a dentist?
I needed to be treated for a really bad toothache, which turned out to be deposit piled together in that area.
What does a successful relationship look like to you?
Idk I think it’s different for all couples, but it’s nice to have maturity and healthy communication as start-off points.
What do you like to put on your baked potato?
I don’t really have those a lot – I never order them and it’s not the kind of thing either of my parents make. But uhhh I guess I’d like a lot of bacon and cheese in them, but that’s about it.
What field of science interests you the most?
Biology. It’s one of my the-one-that-got-away courses; like I’m generally average in science but I’ve found that I do unusually well in biology, so there was a time I did consider taking it up and heading to med school. I had to let it go when I faced the reality that I was terrible in chemistry.
What’s the closest shop or restaurant to your house?
There’s a McDonald’s situated literally right beside our village. Homeowners would typically go there in their pajamas, lol.
Do you have any family that live in another country?
I have tonssssss of family living all around the world. I have family in Illinois, New York, Kentucky, Texas, Vietnam, New Zealand, and China. I wouldn’t be surprised if there are any more immigrant relatives I missed; Filipino families are huge.
What colour is your couch?
Gray. < Yeah, same.
Do you know how to care for plants and keep them alive?
Hell no. I’ve tried caring for a few before and even though I always followed the right ways to take care of them, they always died lmao. My thumb is just far from being green, I guess.
What was the most memorable birthday you’ve had?
18th and 20th. I’d call my 19th memorable too, but I celebrated those with people who are no longer in my life, so I don’t want it to matter.
Would you rather go to the beach or the mountains?
Right now I’d really prefer the beach. The area where I live is already pretty mountainous so a change in scenery would be heavenly for me now.
What do you do for work?
I don’t work yet!
Have you ever been to see the circus?
Does Cirque du Soleil count? That’s the only circus-related thing we have here.
Are there any words that you hate or make you cringe?
I heavily dislike cunt.
What is the best house you’ve ever lived in?
Our current one. It’s peaceful and quiet here, and we get a nice view of the city all year round, and of the fireworks when it’s New Years. We moved out of our old house mostly because my parents couldn’t anymore take the alcoholism issues that run in the extended family, so the fact that our present house doesn’t smell like brandy every night or the fact that I haven’t seen a drunk-fight in over a decade is a big relief for me.
What was the first CD you ever bought?
It was I Am... Sasha Fierce by Beyoncé, in ‘08. That was the first album I ever bought cos I was a new fan back then, but when I started getting more interested in Bey I caught up and bought her older albums as well.
Do you look in the mirror before you leave the house?
Yeah, almost always. Sometimes I won’t have time to because I’m running late.
What’s the most unusual thing you’ve ever eaten?
I’m adventurous when it comes to food – and I’m also Asian LOL – so a lot of stuff I’ve eaten may be everyday food for me but unusual to like, Americans lol. I know so many who already squirm at sea urchin or balut (duck embryo), which is a Level 1 Filipino street food, so I guess you’d be even more grossed out if I say I’ve tried pig’s blood on a stick, pig’s ears, frog legs, and a day-old chick.
Have you ever seen someone quit their job in a dramatic way?
No, I’ve never hung out in a workplace for that long.
What movie reminds you of your childhood?
Finding Nemo, Brother Bear, and Toy Story.
Do you know why your parents named you what they did?
My dad said they liked the name, my mom said I was named after the singer.
Do you have any bills that need to be paid?
I think the bills just arrived today; I remember my dad getting them from the front door.
What do you like to dip your fries in?
MAYONNAISE, and mayo only.
Is your house clean or messy right now?
It’s always pristine cos my mom’s a bit of a clean freak.
What was the last email you received?
Announcements from the university. It doesn’t really concern me though so I haven’t opened them, oops.
Do you know someone who speaks without a filter?
Yeah, me.
Are you in any social groups?
Yeah I still have bits and pieces of my high school group, but I mostly hang out with my orgmates who have since been my close friends.
How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
7. Would’ve been more hours but my mom likes cutting my sleep so I can eat breakfast with the rest of the family.
What’s your favourite kind of museum?
I enjoy museums with archaeological pieces and evidence more than any other museums, which is why I’ll always be in love with Ayala Museum’s collection of gold accessories from our pre-colonial period, and the National Museum of Anthropology’s collection of artifacts recovered from a galleon trade shipwreck in 1600.
Do you believe in alternate universes?
Yes. This piece by one of my favorite people, Gaby Dunn, completely converted me to team alternate universes.
Whose house did you last visit?
Gabie’s.
What games do you play on your smart phone?
Simple ones that’d take my mind off of things, nothing too complicated nor battery-draining. I’m loving 1010 and Sort It right now.
What was the first concert you ever went to?
Paramore in 2013. I was a bit of a late bloomer when it came to concerts.
Do you know anyone who is colourblind?
I don’t think so.
What’s your favourite season and why?
Can’t relate lol.
Are you the youngest, middle or eldest child in your family?
Eldest.
If you had to make something for a potluck, what would you make?
I’d learn how to make lumpia, because that’s never not a winner at parties.
What kinds of decorations do you put up at Halloween?
I don’t put up decorations; I just like having costumes.
How many tabs do you have open right now?
In my current window, 14.
What’s something you’ve been meaning to do but keep putting off?
Progress on my thesis and a term paper for my history class. Shhhhh I’m on a break, let me enjoy it.
What’s the first thing you check on your phone at the start of the day?
Notifications on Twitter and Facebook.
Have you ever flown a kite?
Only as a kid. I don’t think I’ve done it since Grade 5.
Who was your favourite music artist when you were 16?
Ooooh that was the time I let go of my punk phase and got introduced to other cool artists by Gab and Athenna – around this time I was heavily into Banks, Hozier, and alt-J.
What are three things you usually always have in your fridge?
Eggs, bread, meat.
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So I can’t fully 100% tell anyone about this rn cause Spenny is sleeping and Pati isn’t around so HERE GOES PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR THE STORY OF THE YEAR
So like ykno Alex the French/Spanish guy that I’ve been after for like 2 years but we only ever really spent 1 night together until this year because he stopped replying cause he was a dick and then I moved to London and then HE MOVED TO LONDON TOO and we met up once for drinks once but it was so incredibly innocent and just drinks. And then I moved back to Warsaw and so did he like 6 months later. Well it’s been going much better recently, we’ve been seeing each other more in general like going with separate friend groups to the same places and just saying hi and then when I’m drunk I text him to get his “shift” together and come over HAHAHAHAHA drunk Jamie is unstoppable.
Anyways, last night I was at this techno club Smolna with my close friends from uni (our last hoorah) and low and behold who fucking texts me at 7pm asking if I had plans tonight? Alex of course. But the thing is he texted me 2 days before asking what I was up to, so of course I’m like alright, momma gonna get her sugar tonight. But what does he do? He stops replying after the second message. Literally CLASSIC ALEX. There is not a more Alex move to pull. So last night when he texted me I was like k fuck u, I want you obvs but f u. So I reply after a while saying Smolnaaa, and he goes “hum” which is supposed to be “hmm” but Alex is a fucking weirdo so. So anyways I go “lol why whats up” and hes all “i’m home...” and i’m like “okay...” ahahhahahahahaha literally dead i love myself. And he goes “come over :)”. So at this point I’m still going to Smolna but he says to come over after (which is obvs at like 4am or something). So we go to Smolna and it’s all fun, raining a bit on the patio but no one gives a fuck.
So we’re dancing and having a good time and there was this guy who spilled his drink on my friend and he didn’t notice but then he did and was SOO apologetic and of course I realize right away he has a British accent. My British radar is impeccable I swear. So I can tell right away he’s pretty fucked up, drunk or whatever he is. He said he’s on a stag do with his buddies so I ask where his friends are and he didn’t know so I said to stay with us. So the night goes on and he goes off on his own nothing special, but then I see a group of these British guys and they’re all speaking in an accent so I go up to one and tell him that I saw this guy earlier that was part of a stag do but he couldn’t find his friends! And this guy (who is incredibly handsome might I add) says yeah yeah he’s with us! And he was the only guy in the whole group that didn’t look completely wrecked so I kept talking to him. And we introduced ourselves, his name is ARCHIE. How fucking adorable is that. I don’t think there is a more adorable name I swear. AND HE’S BRITISH. ugh. So anyways, Archie and I chill and dance and talk and we get to know each other a tad, he lives in London (thank fucking jesus I love London). But as the witching hour approaches I’m thinking Alex is probably going to go to bed soon so I either go now or never.
I call Alex and he’s still up, this is around 230am. I leave around 330am, my phone on very low battery but I made it! He’s staying in his brother’s old place so I didn’t know where it was exactly. And oh my god. This is where the night just keeps getting better and better.
Before last night like.. I’m obvs obsessed with Alex cause he’s so fucking attractive, but I thought that we didn’t have much to talk about really. Like he can be kinda negative and a dick and he knows it but that’s him. But last night was a COMPLETE 180. He didn’t go out so he was 100% sober which has not happened ever when we meet late at night. I got there and he was in bed chillin and I was still high so I was chatty af. So we were talking and honestly we talked for about an hour about everything and whatever came to mind and it was great. Like.. really really great. He was so cute in his boxers and T laying there while I was bouncing around the flat ahahhahaha. And I was making fun of him and we were laughing and just.. it was really really nice. So finally I calmed down and laid down and of course you guys know the rest. I slept alright cause the high but he snores but honestly it didn’t bother me that much, I think that’s when it means something. When you think their snoring is cute. One of the things I really like about him is although he can be a dick sometimes, he is the biggest teddybear I swear. He gained weight recently this year but honestly it doesn’t even bother me. He’s hairy head to toe literally chest, back, EVERYWHERE HAIR. Which of course if you know me then you know I’m totally into that (ya the back hair not necessarily that much but it doesn’t bother me;)). So he’s quite literally this big teddy bear. And he cuddles so nicely. Like we didn’t cuddle much during the night cause it was hot af and just cause but in the morning he comes over to me and puts his arm around me and he’s just really sweet when he wants to be. So obvs then this morning you guys know the rest, but damn. One thing I will say is that drunk sex SUCKS DICK and oh my god if Alex and I were always sober when meeting up I think it would’ve been a way more frequent thing cause HOT DAMN he knows his shit. Ugh. I feel like I’m glowing.
And then after he was considering buying more stock on some weird internet currency idfk I have no clue, and I was laying on the bed and he was at his desk and we were just chatting and he was talking to himself but also to me kinda ahaha but I love that cause I literally do that ALL THE TIME. And yeah. It was just really good. And at the end I was leaving and I was poking fun and it was just horrible cause he’s a mean man but he’s really not. I know it might sound like he’s a huge dick but he’s just honest and he knows he’s not the nicest person ever but he’s okay with that and honestly as long as he’s not hurting me then it’s okay. And we will never ever date (I FUCKING WISH WHYYY) cause I won’t live here anymore and I don’t think he would be interested in dating me (who knows?) so it’ll just stay this way and I’m totally good with that.
Ugh guys. He’s legit the only guy since I left Canada that I’ve been this enthralled by. I wish there was some sort of way it could or had a chance to become something more but I know my destiny isn’t here in Warsaw, it’s in Edmonton. But fuck it was great having him around, especially this last year. I’m gonna miss him. I am a woman in love.
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