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#but now that thats an actual possibility. god i dont know what the fuck to do
cestacruz · 1 month
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Mmm Jeanne
#servants cant learn new stuff (i'll talk about jalter in a second) therefore#jeanne shouldnt know how to read or write#we actually Dont get a confirmation that she can do those things in summer 3. because the book that jalter thought jeanne wrote#was actually Her own book#jeanne works with marie. maybe she comes up with the ideas and does rough drawings that marie would be Delighted to bring to life#marie reads to jeanne is my image#jalter taught herself how to read and write and i think that was possible because of the unstability of her existence#if you try to teach jeanne how to read and write it will stick for a second but if like idk 15-20 min pass she would likely find herself#unable to read again and her writting to be suboptimal#she can sign her own name ofc thats historical#she can recite the bible from memory iirc#i love jalter's ability to be her own person even if it comes with the fact that she is very much. an ephemeral dream#like her FCKING SKILL IS CALLED.#WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS FGO#anyway. now jeanne again but physical#oughhh thank u for the support in the tags when i said jeanne should have self image issues because she looked different in life#i hadnt fully talked bout it i just went with hair but yeah. i need to check again because im pretty sure her body wasnt Suuuper different#but i just gotta confirm#but im just so i love the idea of her just not liking the way she manifested abd not knowing Why she manifested like that#when there are Countless depictions of her with her short brown hair#sieg looks to the side whistling (its not his fault but he knows the pseudo servant part#and its probably a mix of . fate apocrypha's manifestation and of how some people imagined jeanne looked like#but it still upsets her#not that she'd ever complain to people#you can probably get it out of her tho#unrelated and only to those who reached this far: im thinking of a singularity set in 15th century orleans in the Middle of the hundred year#war. but the difference aint “oh jeanne d'arc came back to life evil” rather than “there seems to be a battle here where it shouldnt and oh#my god is that jeanne- oh god jeanne d'arc fucking died--#and chaldeas has to try and fix the war without living breathing jeanne d'arc#actually thats not the middle of the 100yearwar but yknow what i mean. also haha jk unless...
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Literally if reading Homestuck gave me nothing else then at least it gave me the concept of moirails (and using quadrants for all other media)
#ah yes this is for me its mine now#my aroace ass looking at the romantically coded friendship and going#ITS ABOUT THE LACK OF SEX ITS ABOUT THE TAKING CARE OF SOMEONE ITS ABOUT VALUING THEM#ITS ABOUT THAT QUEER SPACE BETWEEN ROMANCE AND FRIENDSHIP#.... yes i was reading about cDrunz as moirails shut up dont perceive me im a weak person#emotionally i cannot handle the concept of quadrants here because of fucking course it means Dream would have none#congrats hs the only thing (besides Gamzee) that you gave me was new ways to explore relationships#and of course thats all anyone ever gives a damn about /hj#anyway fucking. Dream starting with his quadrants at least partially filled. George in hearts Sapnap in Diamonds#Wilbur is waxing Something for him but its vacillating between red and black at all times WILBUR PLEASE#but dethronement happens and whoops now Dream has lost all his red and all his stability what will he do#Punz. Perfect Diamond. Best Pale friend. Please for the love of god give him a hug#Also gives Sap and Dreams relationship another facet of 'you were supposed to be there to calm him down to keep him from going this far'#its a palemates job to keep each other balanced and controlled so even if Dream is faking his general villainy#it still gives off the impression that he lost his diamond and Went Off The Fucking Deep End (aka Sapnap failed his job)#So Sapnap going 'Ill be the one to kill you' is actually a sort of last ditch pale. Or an attempt at forming clubs with Dream+Server#You could possibly see Techno and Dream in prison as a pale patch depending on how you characterize diamonds?#only a patch though in canon. For a multitude of reasons#yes nobody knows what Im talking about no I dont give a shit#i mean i do a little having someone to talk about this with would be nice#but thats irrelevant to me getting my thoughts out#anyway. Dream is what happens when you take the conciliatory quadrant and make it fucked up#Man's trying to vacillate the entire server to such an extreme that he's actively damaging himself and other people
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dreamcast-official · 1 year
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fuck it. fuck it. i dont care. i dont actually care
#vent in tags#im gonna add some filler tags bc this is the first time i think a vent in tags is actually. serious and might be upsetting. so. ur own risk#idk whens good enough. fuck it#its gonna be my abusers birthday in a few days.#and i heard that she mightve killed herself last year#i dont know. not like i fucking kept tabs on her. i didnt care.#but my friend who used to be a mutual friend with her said her last post on social media was very depressed. and in may of last year#and i know what type of person she is (was?)#she. might be fucking dead#and. i dont. know how to feel about that#on the one hand. i dont give a fuck anymore. she hasnt been something i think about since her last attempt to stalk me#on the other hand. idk. i guess she still has some power over me. because i feel like its my fault.#i heard from someone that everytime she posted on her whatsapp status it was about me and how *i* ruined her life#idk. i cant help but feel like. if she really is dead. it was all my fault. i know thats not true but. god it fucking feels like it#why do i still care. she fucking ruined my life why do i care if shes alive or not.#for a long time i said i wanted her to be dead. that i wished she wouldnt bother me anymkre#but now that thats an actual possibility. god i dont know what the fuck to do#and i cant talk about this with anyone because i never told anyone about what she did and i dont think i could#i guess she finally followed through with all those times she threatened to kill herself because of something i did.#to be honest. good fucking riddance. fuck you julia
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arolesbianism · 2 months
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Horrible realization that if I go through with recollecting all the oni logs then I'll have to actually find out how to get "a seed is planted" like for realsies this time. Maybe I should just cheat them all in actually. <3.
#rat rambles#oni posting#a seed is planted sucks so bad its like my second favorite log and its been such a pain in the fucking ass to find#appearing then dissapearing so thourougly that I thought I might have made it up somehow making me learn to look into the god damn code to#find out if Im crazy or not only to find it along side all the story trait logs despite it being in the research notes section and Then I#open oni again to chech smth completely different and it fucking reapears out of nowhere and then the game updates and all my logs explode#this fucker has tormented me for so long and Ive seen no one else talk abt it so Im still not 100% convinced it wasnt a glitch somehow#it probably is a real log thats in the game and it disappearing is the glitch but boy do I have no way of knowing#if that is the case I can only imagine it relates to it seemingly having been intended as a story trait log#I assume it was moved to research notes because of how long it is but idk#anyways nails you motherfucker why must you have recorded one of the more lore heavy logs in the game and then made it a bitch to find#like genuinely I think its one of like 3 max logs that directly mention duplicants by name#ok ok there might be 4 I dont remember exactly#but two of those would be by jackie and one by probably nikola so nails mentioning them by name is a pretty big deal#and thats if Im remembering those logs correctly which I am likely not lol#its like 3 am ok#a seed is planted also just gives us some juicy lore relating to the actual tech we see in game#along with. that whole unnamed human subject thing. that still haunts me.#who are you subject whatever your number was and are you olivia specifically to spite me#if it wasnt for the b111-1 thing I wouldn't consider her that strong a canidate but it is a thing so she is#not only is she a strong candidate but shes like. one of like 3 real candidates we have for that#it's a weird case because it could very easily be a complete rando especially given the subject number instead of a work id being given#but also given its relation to dupes itd be weird if it wasnt someone who either worked at gravitas or otherwise got duped#which thankfully does free olivia of some possibility since as far as we know there are no olivia dupes lol#jorge and dr.holland are the other two main options in my minds eye but thats based on very little#dr.holland in particular would kind of vaguely make sense given hes mentioned in that story trait's artifact reward#but ofc given that nails does not choose to elaborate on that whole thing all I can do is blindly speculate#they also mention a name which is fun because its one of our rare complete randos in oni lore#now. he could easily be revealed to be some dupe but Im pretty sure the name was like bruce or smth so I dont consider it likely#also I am deeply curious of what this bruce guy was to nails given nails calls him 'my darling bruce'
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ironmanstan · 1 year
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Ill forever be mad ab the pink diamond reveal tho btw
#im sorry i literally cannot b convinced it was good i dont care i dont care#makes me SO mad#ruined my LIFE#i loved rose so much . she was SO cool to me . i feel like basil was somewhat inspired by her actually now that i think ab it#so the pink diamond reveal. ooohhjh my god. it was cool ??? at first ???? when it happened ??? bc it was like what the FUCK#but then it just got worse and worjrrhsdjnjbf#even like. like im not mad ab rose possibly being a bad person i actually loved the reveal of pink diamonds shattering to steven#that was awesome i love rose being a complex figure when hes growing up in her shadow and being her legacy#and struggling w whether he can be proud of that legacy or not when he knows hardly anything about it#thats so cool !!! what the FUCK was the pink diamond reveal#like idk . it makes me so mad and feel cheated it feels like those things where its like ohhh it was all a dream#pink diamond is characterized so differently from rose and roses entire vibe as a person feels markedly different#so when the lean into pinks characterization happens w the reveal its like ok. what was the point of all this build up#why did rose even matter as a character what was the point of this characterization. she was all for nothing#idk maybe its just me ???? im insane. it makes me mad it is my biggest beef w this#ion give a damn ab anything else compared to this. like this is my real severance of heart strings to everything#yeah they forgave . the diamonds ig. i dontnfhfucking care whatever#i have beef ab this and i have beef ab pearl just as a person#pearl . ... pearl is so insane and i kind of love it ALSO PRE THE PINK DIAMOND REVEAL#BC THAT SCREWS PEARL OVER TOO#pick one. pearl is gay and possibly slightly manipulated emotionally to fight a war w a girl who doesnt like her (awesome)#or: pearl is gay and a slave (????) is say servant but she for real physically cannot disobey her OWNER. so. and is IN LOVE with her owner#not awesome. frown#DO U SEE WHAT I MEAN#ppl hate pearl for being toxic but i think shes mad funny for that she is fuckin insane.#imagine ur bestie u been in love with for like 10 thousand years fucks off to earth and dies so she can have a damn baby id kill that thang#slash j. but like u cant lie shes so drama im here for it#if u kin her. U HAVE PROBLEMS !! GET AWAY ill observe her like a poisonous sea snail thoo#shes like if rohan kishibe was worse and a lesbian#the gamer speaks uwu
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conartisthaiji · 2 years
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okay okay okay. that autism test fucked me uppppp like what do you mean it wasn’t all in my head. what do you mean i had legitimate grounds to be suspicious. and what do you mean I WAS RIGHT??? 
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FINALS!!!
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Propaganda:
Taylor Hebert (Worm (webserial by Wildbow))
Human girl who has superpowers that let her control bugs. She shunts all emotions off into her swarm of bugs, leaving her totally blank and stoic. She outsources sensory-input to her bugs, so she never looks or reacts to anything. In a fight, she reacts to opponents there is no possible way she could see, because she sensed them with her bugs. Overall has virtually no facial tells and moves in a way that makes her seem like she isn't a person. very creature <3 she is just a bug girl
shes such a FREAK. shes completely human (tho with an eldritch alien creature extradimensionally attached to her mind) but God does she not act like it sometimes. she has the superpower to control bugs and uses it to become the worlds most terrifying hero slash villain slash warlord slash apocalyptic threat. she has her bugs crawling all over her all the time. she uses a swarm of flies to scout out areas and then leaves flies in everybodys hair so she can keep track of where they are. she practiced having her bugs make noises until she figured out how to combine their noises into human speech so now she can talk through her swarm. she makes decoys of herself out of large pillars of bugs. once she was concussed and in the hospital and subconsciously calling her bugs to her so she was just covered in insects while the doctor tried to help her. then there was ANOTHER time she was hospitalized and got bored so she made a bunch of bugs so a little dance on her chest. whenever she's in costume and talking she has her bugs make noises to distort her voice and make her sound more scary and she doesnt even realize shes doing it anymore. she surrounds herself in a swarm to disorient her enemies. she doesn't even notice when her hair covers her eyes or anything like that because shes scouting out the area using her bugs so she doesnt have to see. she once used a tide of bugs to clean herself off and dust off her dress after having sex.
#she views herself as more of a swarm of bugs with a girl-shaped computer to control them than a girl herself#her body is just an extension of her bugs which is large and inconvenient but ultimately part of the weapon
#taylor “dissociates into bugs” hebert#taylor “keeps bugs in her hair” hebert#taylor “choke them with bugs” hebert#taylor “no one could ever love me” hebert#taylor “violence is always the answer” hebert
#normally i would want a worm character to win#but#bdubs is a strange little man. he's unusual.#Taylor's just got the 'tism.
she literally is a walking superorganism comprised of one human and a lot more bugs to the point where she frequently moves her head as if she can see through walls (with her bugs, she can), talks through her bugs, has been described like a corpse whose ghost is living on in her swarm, keeps functioning thru her bugs even when her human body is out for the count, et cetera. no disrespect intended but genuinely what in the world are you talking about. She cleans her pussy off with bugs after fucking. Her pussy. With bugs. And she thinks it's normal. Because the bugs are part of her. Is this thing on. I reiterate that she literally requires an emotional support cloak of bugs. She is so dissociated from being an actual person that she treats her human body like an inconvenience and her bugs like the primary operators. Is This Thing On.
#now i told myself i wouldnt comment anything on the rb... but#“She cleans her pussy off with bugs after fucking. Her pussy. With bugs.” CHAT IS THAT FUCKIN REAL??? IS THAT CANON???#cause if thats just a hc thats wild and i dont know if its better or worse if its canon#propaganda
this is indeed canon! there is a scene where, after fucking her boyfriend in an abandoned building, she stands up and cleans dust/etc off her naked ass body by having her bugs run across her and clean her, which presumably translates to "they are eating the dirt/sweat/etc off her." her boyfriend smiles affectionately at this, because he also has something wrong with him. she also does things like use bugs and spider silk to deliver her toothbrush straight to her hand in the morning while monologuing about "checking in on her hive" (her hive is the people in her villain territory.) she is a walking panopticon. her friends sometimes talk to bugs under the assumption it's taylor watching them and they're always right. at one point she confusedly asks someone if he's arachnophobic because he doesn't want her 10k black widow spiders to live in his apartment with him. she is basically like if a cockroach was a girl. I would never lie to you about Taylor Hebert, Unsung Champion of Polls About Weird Characters.
#taylor ofc#wait hey those are my tags as propaganda!! cool!#i stand by it#anyways yeah one of her main character traits when looked at by an outside perspective is just how WEIRD she is#everyone thinks she's a freak#even when you're reading her POV you sometimes have to stop and be like 'hey girl what the fuck'#one time she put bugs on her boyfriend's dick
She also turns into a bug monster at one point. Not all on her own, but she very much turns into a bug monster. Literally And Physically.
And she uses this to survive like a cockroach, she had Just Been Ripped In Fucking Half and thrown in the ocean to die and BOOM. bug monster transformation (with a little help) climb out and keep fighting, against an opponent so vast and powerful a human couldn't even comprehend his true form (not eldritch cognitohazard, just planet-sized + multidimensional), who could kill her in an instant. She's always surviving against the odds she's so cockroach coded (affectionate!) #@ pollrunner if you're still accepting propaganda please take the 'turns into a bug monster' as propaganda#the rest can be ignored or trimmed to 'she's always surviving she's so cockroach coded' but pleamse. the Time she Became A Bug
#she's such a freak!!!#she kills like it's the only thing she was built how to do#she kills people and things like it's chess and she's a grandmaster#as soon as the violence is off she's just a fucked up offputting little one woman panopticon
One of my favourite descriptions of Taylor from someone else's POV, from Interlude 14.
“A figure stood behind Yan. Her costume was barely recognizable—She wore a short cape of tattered black cloth over her body armor, a skintight black suit beneath that, and there were folds of black cloth draped around her legs like a dress or a robe. The entire fabric seemed to ripple and move. It took Sierra a second to realize it was crawling with a carpet of insects.”
“The disconcerting part was the girl’s face, or lack thereof. Her expression was masked behind a shifting mass of bugs that moved in and out of her hairline. Sierra couldn’t even tell where the bugs ended and the scalp began, as the small black bodies crawled into and onto the black curls. There was a hint of something like glass where Skitter’s eyes were, but the bugs ventured far enough over her eyelids and around the frames that nothing was visible in the way of goggles, glasses or skin.”
“Skitter hadn’t made a sound as she entered. She hadn’t spoken, and her footsteps had been quiet.”
#taylor “driving while blind wasn’t as hard as I’d thought it would be” hebert#taylor “hangs out in superpowered darkness for a long time without being at all worried” hebert#taylor “fools a near-perfect lie detecting hero by offloading her emotions on her bugs” hebert#taylor “figures out how to communicate with the Dog Autism girl like right away” hebert
#taylor hebert kill them with your self-sustained insectoid dehumanity!
Jonny d’Ville (The Mechanisms)
Since we’re not technically human
He’s so feral hes canonically committed every single crime theres a name for i think he deserves to have a tail that flicks around when hes being mischevous. perhaps some horns or fangs as well. as a treat
Idk why but he's a feral creature
Have you seen the man? Especially in that one picture where he is fully on the wall.
absolutely no canon implications that he isn't human, but that man* absolutely has a tail. and sharp teeth. and creature ears. he purrs but he pretends he doesn't and if you bring it up he'll bite you. he's had rabies more times than you can count.
#Just sayin#Johnny eats people and says it's not cannibalism if you aren't human
#DID LYF SING THE PART IN SLEEPING BEAUTY? NO. VOTE JONNY
#Jonny’s a creature#vote Jonny
#sorry for that Hermitfans but my boy Jonny is feral and i think he is a creature
#chat vote jonny#HES LITERALLY JUST A LITTLE CRITTER PLEASE
#look at that face#he’s a creacher
#it's jonny d'ville i don't have any more to say
All crimes but sex crimes, because Jonny isn’t a MONSTER
#JONNY#i'm so sorry pearl you are too well adjusted for this#he's got devil in his name#(that he gave himself because he's a huge fucking nerd)
#LITERALLY LOOK AT HIM THE GREMLIN ENERGY IS OFF THE CHARTS
#voted jonny for the rabies
also. hold up. the pearl propaganda is saying to vote for her because she's an alien and a bloodthirsty fighter? BOY DO I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU ABOUT JONNY FUCKING D'VILLE
five am pearl this five am pearl that, jonny's just like that all the time
#please vote jonny. i know we're pitting two bad bitches against each other but jonny has tried to eat a guitar
#CMON GUYS VOTE JONNY D’VILLE HES SUCH A CREATURE#HAVE YOU SEEN HIM??? HAVE YOU HEARD HIM TALK ABOUT THE OCTOKITTENS???#VOTE JONNY
#Jonny is such a creature
#jonny is literally THE creature
#come on vote Jonny that thing is creachur incarnate#and he can sing#his fave food is human flesh and more violence
Jonny man entire existence is teeth claws belts and trauma
#that guy is so feral#just vote jonny#also there was this one time where he found a half dead dude on the moon and brang it home to show to his gay pirate friends#just sayin#and also this harmonica solo over his father's dead body in one eyed jacks#iconic#anyway vote jonny
#literally jonny bites people and eats them regularly
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the-record · 7 months
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kissing lessons: 3
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synopsis: it was like she’d never left as you settled back into friendship, but how you wished there was more to it.
song: kissing lessons - lucy dacus
pairing: college!ellie x reader
warnings: nothing??
a/n: getting juicy now 😊😊
part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4
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“move in with me.”
was she crazy? you couldnt just move in with her.
“im sorry?”
ellie laughed, you looked at her like she was crazy. “move in with me! ive got an apartment like 10 minutes from here.”
“ellie, respectfully, i haven’t seen you for a decade, and you think im just gonna move in with you to an apartment ive never seen? that you don’t even live in?” you stood up, arms crossed over your chest and paced. “and, even if i wanted to, im still 17, i dont turn 18 until september. i cant just move out. my mom would, like, i don’t know… she’d probably call the police.”
ellie smiled was you through out every possibility under the sun. “she’d disown me. take back my car. she pays for it, not me. and i don’t know if my job even pays enough for me to pay rent.” your threw your hands in the air and finally saw ellie’s small laugh. “what are you laughing at?”
she shrugged, pulling you back down to her bed. “i don’t even move in until the end of september. and only someone who was considering it would come up with all that in two minutes.” she sighed when you rolled your eyes at her. “you keep rolling those eyes and they’re gonna get stuck.”
“oh my god, shut up.” she watched you try to hide a smile.
ellie couldn’t help but wonder about you even as you sat in front of her. what did you love and what did you hate? what made you tick? did you remember everything she taught you in her old room? on the mattress you sat on now. how to kiss, and how to get cole or justin or whatever guy had a crush on you.
she wondered what you wanted to do in life. who you were friends with at school. if you wanted to kiss her as much as she wanted to kiss you. like old times.
your heads both turned as the street lights flicked on.
“i better get going.”
“stay for dinner.”
your voices overlapped before silence.
“okay.”
ellie smiled, getting up and holding a hand out to you. you took and she pulled you up but didn’t let go as she led you back downstairs.
god it was gonna be hard to be just friends.
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“so,” joel sat down his fork and looked at you. “have you thought about college? where you wanna go? what you’d like to study.”
you nodded, copying joel and putting down your own fork. “yeah, i was planning to stay here actually. instate tuition and all that.” you took a sip of water before continuing. “i think i’d like to be a teacher? maybe. i just know i want to work with kids.”
“wouldn’t even have to learn about them, considering you are one,” ellie teased. you kicked her shin under the table. “ow, fuck.”
“ellie no cursing at the dinner table.” joel winked at you as ellie scoffed. “what’s happened since we’ve been gone?”
you sat back in your chair, thinking about everything of sustenance. “honestly nothing. it’s incredibly boring.” you gasped as you remembered. “mel got pregnant last year.”
ellie nearly spit out her food. “no way.” you nodded, picking up your fork again. “with who? what’d her parents do?”
“owen.” ellie gasped as you nodded. “who, mind you, at the time was dating abby.”
“good god.” joel stood up, taking his plate with him. “thats enough for me.” you and ellie laughed as he left.
ellie cleared her throat as you took a bite. “20 questions?” you nodded and set down your fork before getting comfortable. “favorite song?”
you hummed, “kyoto, phoebe bridgers.” ellie nodded approvingly. “favorite movie?”
“the outsiders.” you groaned and ellies jaw dropped. “excuse me? whats your favorite then?”
“practical magic, duh.” you smirked as she rolled her eyes. “you keep rolling those eyes and they’re gonna get stuck.” you echoed her comment from earlier.
“you’re so annoying.” ellie flicked a pea at you.
you threw one back, hitting her forehead. “favorite book?”
she thought for a moment before she answered. “catcher in the rye.”
“good one.” she nodded. “wanna get slushies?”
ellie bolted up with a smile, “god i thought you’d never ask.”
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“i can’t believe you dont get cherry and blue raspberry.” you shouldered ellie as you walked back to your car.
ellie scoffed. “i can’t believe you do.” she pulled at the passenger door. “unlock the car.” you got in, closing your door and locking it. “angel.”
you smiled at her and turned on music, singing along between sips. ellie walked around to your window and knocked. your pretended to be shocked, turning down the radio and rolling down the window. “what can i do for you this fine evening?”
ellie leaned her arms on the car door with an innocent smile. “can i kiss you?”
“what?” your face and mind blanked long enough for ellie to unlock the door and pull it open. you barely realized before she was clambering over you to the passenger seat. “oh fuck you.”
ellie gasped, “how unladylike. you just sip your slushy and get me home safely,” she teased as she buckled her seat belt.
you fought the urge to roll your eyes as you shut your door and put the car in reverse.
how badly you wanted to have said yes.
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yeondollie · 2 months
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ɪᴛ ᴀʟᴍᴏsᴛ ᴡᴏʀᴋᴇᴅ ♡ 𝜗𝜚
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. . paring ; toxic! yeonjun x fem! reader
. . warnings ; ANGST .ᐟ, fighting, drabble, explicit language, crying, degration, junnie is mean, kinda? fluff, apologizing, good ending, nicknames (baby, pretty girl, princess), i thinkkk that it :D !
a/n ; hiiii guys !! i missed you so so much im so sorry for the sudden break . . i had a lot going on n stuff but i'm feeling better and back to writing fics :> ! i was listening to it almost worked-tv girl this morning and omgg i love tv girl smm but i needed to make a fic about something like this soo enjoy ᥫ᭡
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“why the fuck are you so dramatic?” yeonjun scoffed, looking up at you as he sat on the couch. you two had been fighting for what seemed like forever but in reality, it had been on and off for about a week. yeonjun was pisses, livid even because of the way you’ve been acting.
you had blown up his phone, went on a drive at three in the morning, and even blew up his friends phone because after another argument about god knows what he had left. he left without saying anything and to you that meant possibly another woman.
as he stared up at you in anger, you suddenly started to feel bad. maybe you had took it too far this time, maybe you needed to have some trust in him. “jun.. i was just worried. thats all..” you say, in a quiet and gentle voice.
you were never one to get anger or yell or even cuss; he was the complete opposite of you. “_____ i dont give a fuck! you’re so clingy it’s disgusting..” his face made it clear, he wasn’t lying. he meant every word that came out of his mouth.
it was coming out again. not word vomit, not even actual vomit but just pure tears. they started dwelling in your eyes and suddenly your vision went blurry. “y-yeonjun..” he noticed your shaky voice, shaky hands, and most importantly- glassy eyes.
his heart started to crack and he realized just what he had said to you. his mind went blank and all he could do was slowly wrap his arms around you. when you called him ‘yeonjun’ rather than ‘jun’ or ‘jjunnie’ his heart stopped.
“i-i didn’t mean to.. u-upset you yeonjun. i was j-just worried.” while not hugging him back, you just stood there- limp. he desperately held onto you. this was the first time that either two of you have had any type of physical contact in weeks.
his words started to sink in. no not into you but into him. had he really said that to you? his hands were all over you. caressing your face, hugging you, even planting kisses all over your pretty face. “i-i didn’t mean any of that princess.. i-i where are you going?”
before you could reply to him, you walked your way to your bedroom. locking the door before you slumped on your bed and started crying into the pillows. you could hear loud banging on the door accompanied by a few “im sorrys” from time to time.
eventually, you fell asleep. all the crying did really tire you out and you just wanted to forget about the situation at the moment. it was now 7:38pm and it was silent. silent outside, completely dark, and yet you could see your phone light up, over and over again.
jjun !!
im sorry baby i didn’t mean any of it i miss you please im sososo sorry pretty girl r u sleeping? sorry i love you so much
you
im awake now come in my room plz i miss u more baby
you slowly hear the door crack open and your boyfriend walks in, his glassy eyes staining his originally cold ones. “_____ i.. please im sorry i didn’t mean to hurt my b-baby..” he carefully sits in your bed, placing a hand on your head and comforting you.
safe to say it worked, it always did. here was the thing, it was always a cycle with yeonjun. there was no “time apart” or even a break of some sorts. he always convinced you to stay or hear him out. and you did just that, time and time again.
“i-its okay jun.. come here please.” you sniffle and he enters the covers and wraps his arms around you. he was so warm, so comforting it almost made you forget what he made you feel like when you weren’t in his arms. the next hour and a half consisted of his corny compliments to get you back where he needed you.
“you’re so pretty princess, you know that?” he whispers in your ear, planting kisses all over your face. he was trying to butter you but god it was working. you could feel the butterflies in your stomach and the heat rising up to your face. “junnie..” you cover your face in embarrassment.
yet he removes your hands and starts smiling at your flustered face. he cant help it. you look so cute, so gorgeous, so beautiful he couldnt help but continue to stare and smile at you. “its true.. but im really sorry i didn’t mean any of that. i..i really wanna make us work pretty girl.”
god just that nickname got you latching onto him for dear life like he was gonna run away from you. he wanted to make it work. just for you guys? your heart was touched yet a part of you doubted every word that came out of his mouth. but maybe this time he’d be different.
“i know jun.. me too. i want you. i want you more than anything.” you smile, feeling content for the time being.
a/n ; i know i’ve been gone for FOREVER and im so so so so so sorry ! school was stressing me but im on spring break heheheh :0 so expect more fics! (i hope)
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miss-menhera · 3 months
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HELLO THERE!!! Trying to cope with OR UNDERSTAND Adam's death? The denial and "what ifs" just get stronger?!?!?!?
Me too tbh I'm fucking miserable
BUT!!!! YOU WILL FIND OUT THAT THIS SHITHEAD COMING BACK IS ACTUALLY MORE PLAUSIBLE THAN YOU THINK! (W.O.W!!!!)
I actually also have some pretty solid theories about season 2 in here so be warned.
(This is a bit different from my usual goofy post I might delete this and separate into parts since I talked about too much)
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VIVZIEPOP MADE A COUPLE STATEMENTS THAT COULD BE GAME-CHANGING AND WON'T LEAVE US GRASPING AT STRAWS ANYMORE. I'LL DISCUSS EVERY GROUND THERE IS TO COVER AND EVERY COPIUM THERE IS TO INHALE, AT THE MOMENT!! (Might update this or make a new post if more comes out)
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Ok so to start this off, don't be put off by this person's perspective, just listen to me. Vivzie talked to this fan at megacon and got asked if Adam was still alive, all she said was "he lives on in a way", I'm gonna take my delulu aside and the most pessimistic guess would be that someone (pfff lute obviously)avenges him or that his death has an everlasting impact that changes the story, BUT we already got that made clear, like that was pretty obvious already.
(It's made obvious by this scene, Adam's death created a whole other big problem)
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(Unless what she means by it is that his death is honored? Like maybe we get to delve deeper into his history, but again i dont think so) SO I DONT THINK THATS IT, I feel like if it was either of the ones I mentioned she would just say "Nope, he's deceased BUT he lives on in a way" But ALL she said was "He lives on in a way" which is very different, although it could be she expressed herself badly or the person writing the tweet didn't quote it word for word. But taking it in the literal sense, this might be pretty much confirmation he lives. There's a way he lives right? So considering that.... could it be that after Lute took his halo,(which was also broken which often renders an angel as "fallen" by default) and left his body there, he just... like woke up as a sinner? Yes yes, I know everyone's been talking only about that, I'm not giving any groundbreaking revelations but I'm just saying that there's alot of options that open up to that possibility. Or who knows! What if he actually doesn't get reincarnated? What if he just wakes up with no halo, so no place to come back to or what if the ever-absent God takes notice of his death and fixes up his first loyal creation?
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Besides that if they THINK Adam is dead, (hesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdead)
They make these huge ass changes in tactics, and need to find another way to deal with what Charlie is doing; IF Adam actually becomes a sinner, and his life is super important to heaven... with evidence that sinners can now be redeemed... What if people like LUTE, or LILITH actually become allies of the hotel in an effort to redeem him? He WAS God's first, most loyal and favorite creation, HELL THE REASON HE WAS ALLOWED TO DO WHATEVER HE WANTED AND WAS BASICALLY IMMUNE TO THE LAW IN HEAVEN IS BECAUSE OF HOW MANY PRIVILEGES HE HAS, I don't think God would be too pleased with his soul dissipating or whatever the fuck. That might actually be a plot point, he's way too important to just be killed off like this, am I the only one who got that impression? He's the FIRST MAN, first man, the first man being THE FIRST TO DIE IN THIS SHOW IS ABSOLUTELY MIND-FUCKING AND ALSO A CRUEL JOKE anditskindafunny OF FATE FOR HIM.
Something else I want to add is that my personal take on it is that if I learned anything about this show, Lilith will show up in the next season and pretend to be an ally to the hotel, she will pretend to support Charlie and basing this off the theory that Alastor made a deal with Lilith to keep her daughter safe, he failed to meet the end of his deal. So now she's coming to take matters into her own hands after all these pesky men failed, (ermmm girlboss!!) Stop, and manipulate everyone in the hotel into giving up on the idea. Considering how she deliberately kept Charlie away from her dad her whole life, there's gonna be a whole lot of family drama. And we might see Alastor lose his shit for good. Still tryna figure out wtf does "Lilith thrived and empowered demonkind with her voice" if her voice is that powerful, and her words are just as powerful, we're gonna get 1. FIRE ASS SONGS 2. Mother Gothel ass song with Charlie, I just know it holy shit. Not to mention that they actually don't know that Sir Pentious went to heaven, Lilith definetely will know and won't tell anyone. Lucifer will definetely be the one to step up in the situation yet again. Anyway after I yapped my heart out about what I think will happen in this show, I just wanna say one thing.
There is this DUMBASS thing everyone in the fandom is talking about when someone says Adam is gonna be reborn as a sinner. "He is not gonna come back because he was killed with an angelic blade and Pentious was not" That is the most stupid bullshit I've ever read and if you genuinely believe it for a second, i feel sorry for u cuz how did your brain go and make this correlation?
Most of these people say that the show explicitly stated that Angelic metal SPECIFICALLY and just if it's metal, it can castrate a soul or whatever. Which is literally NOT true, at no point was it established that Angelic steel was the only thing able to exorcise demons. You really need just a bit of common sense to come to this conclusion, what makes the weapons dangerous for demons and angels isn't that they're steel specifically. It's that they're ANGELIC guys.. Have y'all seen Helluva boss at all?
There are blessed ropes, Angelic guns, Angelic bullets. These are just items that replicate the power of Holy magic. A PURE,HUGE, HOLY BEAM of unfiltered angelic power is not stronger than a little dagger infused with a fraction of it? Not only does that not make sense from the show's lore perspective, but using common SENSE that sounds even dumber. This is the only argument I can completely scratch off the lists of why Adam can't come back, and it's the most popular one...
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Man you know what guys, after he died, whether he comes back or not, he's never gonna be the same again I just can't picture it. He's gonna be much more insecure, without a mask and not funny and goofy............. Or he is just gonna come back and go full joker. He just cant possibly keep being a light-hearted dark humor andrew tate stan after the most, first immature man in history pulled a gentle smile like that. That just can't be, like take a look at the way he always smiles to the last smile we saw him have.
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THAT IS A CHANGED MAN YALL, THATS ANOTHER ENTITY 😭
I HIGHKEY DONT WANT HIM TO GET A REDEMPTION ARC EITHER :(( MAN WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DETHRONE THE LITTLE GUY, THEY RUINED EVERYTHING. One small little theory floating in my mind was that, what if the news of Adam being dead could result in some powerful overlord or even A SIN we've never seen or know the power of, revive him and have him work under them? Even if he actually comes back as a sinner, this little theory I haven't brainstormed much about could be explored.
But y'all know what? Let's say he's dead okay? Let's say he's dead dead, then what did they do with his BODY? I didn't see anyone dig him a grave, yet he died on the hotel, I didn't see anyone even move his body after the angels left. And we know damn well they didn't take him, that's too much of a big detail to leave it out unless they REALLY screwed up with the writing and animation direction in the rush to have the serie come out, but the animation has always been so detailed with almost unnecessary background details. I think they left it out intentionally to have that worked out in season 2, heard some people say it could be they just built the hotel over his body? But I doubt it. If so maybe he could become part of the hotel or just condemned to never leave the hotel in a.... a... ghooooost.... like form...?(Massive amounts of copium). Someone could argue his body just dissolved or something but 1. That makes no sense pookie 2. In the first episode they found the body of the dead exorcist long after it died, and we definetely know atleast it's head was still perfectly intact by episode 3. AND i also went back to check, after Lute takes the Halo they purposefully never show Adam's body, ONCE. Not once, not even as they show all the corpses on the ground as the exorcists depart. So that couldn't be it, one thing we know for sure is that Vivzie is definetely letting on there's something more to his death she doesn't want to reveal yet. It could be she's doing that just to leave it ambiguous to delusional theorists like myself,,,,,since my type of stupid is usually the kind of idiocy infectious enough to rot everyone's brain into pointless speculation based on minor details. Which definetely sells the show better AND keeps discourse and attention alive till more is fed to us, which in that case, very effective marketing strategy at the cost of everyone's mental health Viv! Good job, the prospect you might be giving us false hope cuz its good for business is really making me reconsider signing the christian mom petition to make Amazon prime cancel tis' demonic blasphemous show. (And yes that is a serious threat, I will even fund the petition with 100 euros watch what you write, i don't want any mammon ass marketing tactics pls)...... or... she just doesn't wanna spoil the surprise and im reading too much into it... BUT YOU NEVER KNOW OK?? I NEED TO EXPLORE EVERY SINGLE POSSIBILITY AND NOT LEAVE ONE UNCOVERED. I seriously think I've thought of almost anything-Except that he's just dead, we'll see his funeral in the next season and he actually makes no other appearance......... BUT THAT'S BORING AND I WILL DROP THE SHOW IF THAT HAPPENS! By the way kinda can't wait for Adam merch to drop, cus it means SHE STILL FINDS HIM RELEVANT ENOUGH TO MARKET HIM!!!......and i just really want to have physical objects of him...... But u know what guys Vivzie likes adam alot, he's one of the characters she retweets stuff about the most, along with Lucifer and Alastor. And she also kinda admitted to it.
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NOT TO MENTION THERE IS MORE THAT PROVES ITS NOT OUT OF THE WINDOW FOR HIM TO MAKE A COMEBACK CUZ ALEX BRIGHTMAN(Adam's va) ANNOUNCED HE WILL BE IN SEASON 2. and I know he voices Sir Pentious too,(insane range btw wtf) but like i said if they're keeping it a surprise (Thats been pretty much confirmed, Vivz refuses to give too many details so she obviously wants to keep us guessing, which would be cruel if it was for nothing, and i think she knows would leave fans very disappointed) the possibility of Adam still being present in the show could work out.
VIVZ UNLESS YOU'RE A SADISTIC EVIL WOMAN YOU WOULD NEVER HOPE PEOPLE LIKED HIM IF YOU DIDNT HAVE BIG THINGS PLANNED FOR HIM, RIGHT? RIGHT? VIVZIIEIEIEIEIEI3IE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 GIVE US BACK OUR FRATBOY BEETLEJUICE UNSCATHED PLS NO MORE PAIN!!!
Also guys look adam actually changed out of that smelly ass robe and dolled himself up for the early extermination!!!!
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puppyjune · 10 months
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kill her. kill her. kill her.
she looks so beautiful. the bruises. the tears.
but the blood. the blood is holy. divine; the original temptation. once i see scarlet spread across her skin, i can barely stop. the lust, the drive, the carnal desire for brutality.
eyes starting to glaze over, i finally lessen my grip on her neck. so close, edging myself with her life. can i really hold myself back? what if i dont stop?
theres always next time.
why must i be so angry? its all ive known. walking into existence brings me these feelings. part of me wants to grow, but the comfort of that angry impassionate shell is so tempting. i try to step out, brave the new world of emotion. it backfires. over and over, all i know is negativity. oh, but how satisfying that rage is. grab that bat, lay her down whether she wants it or not.
…that may not be "kind", or "empathetic". but what else do i know? its just so easy to do. shes practically begging for it, im actually being nice by abusing her; right?
no no no, i get told that isnt the right way. but if so, why does it feel so good? is this the forbidden fruit? let me bite into her skin and learn what true sin is, carve it into her so she can be enlightened. oh, to be cut. the beauty of those lines, they make shiver with delight.
ah. empathy. that thing. do i really need it? i do? thats fucked. well, lets try a different approach.
brushing away some hair, i kiss her forehead and pull her close. the weight of her head on my body, the way she smiles, it just warms my heart. maybe i can understand what it means to be kind and empathetic. but why does she look at me that way? i must be imagining it. she couldnt possibly want… that. i blush, thinking of how close i came last time; shes probably thinking im blushing from her beauty right now. but all i can think of is the image of her choking herself for my pleasure. the knife on her skin.
i cant stop myself, i need that. violence, god does it make me feel fulfilled. its my one true passion, my vice, the thing that keeps my heart beating and my lust fueled. and why shouldnt i indulge? shes asking for it. obviously. cmon, that was totally what she was thinking, i dont need to ask. its more fun if i dont ask her.
ah, here again. layed out before me, a canvas to play with. i start sweet, checking in after every hit, watching where i hit and how hard, making sure to kiss her marked body.
hit, hit, hit. i look into her eyes, shes starting to squirm, maybe the pain is a bit much? i start to think about asking her if i should tone it down, or maybe just tone it down without asking, play it safe.
oh fuck, shes starting to squirm. this is what i need, the nectar ive been craving. i cant stop myself, i cant hold back. keeping her pinned down, swing after swing of that whip crashes down. my vision blurs, i feel such immense lust i cant think of anything else. how many hits until she fights back, until i have an excuse to really raise the stakes? oh please little pet, try and fight me. i need you to, then i cant be blamed for what happens next. but i get stopped. some part of me pulls me back, telling me to slow down. she gets to live a little longer.
i cant just stop now, i need to get these feelings out. "turn over. now."
good, now i have a fresh canvas to once again paint with pain. over and over, i whip her. its just, not good enough. i already did this, im over it, the rush is gone. i need to kill.
looking over, i see my bat. or specifically, a kendo sword. those bound strips of wood, that slight bend, just adds such a wonderful sprinkle on top of the pain from the swing. shes still down, dazed from the whip.
hit. hit. hit. kill. break her legs. she cant run. she cant resist. one swift hit to the head, bash her face with the bat, then there will be no resistance.
oh, ive done it again. i nearly couldnt stop myself. here i am, having mounted her, bat pressed against her neck, my entire weight and strength being offered for her demise. i need it, i need her to die. i need to kill. the marks on her legs shine against her pale skin. i made sure each leg had a good enough mark to make it difficult to walk, impossible to run. along with every. other. bruise. god, does she look beautiful. i feel true pleasure fill my heart as i look into her eyes. those divine eyes. tears silently rolling down her reddened face, the look of pain only brought by my abuse, the way you can see just how close she came to death. those dull eyes, barely able to comprehend what they see. if i could only have one wish, it would be to watch the life drain from peoples eyes as i use them for my pleasure.
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my thoughts on spooky month 6
copy pasted from a page and a half of google doc. crying. spoilers inbound.putting it under the cut cuz its super long. also swear warning.
Ok to start off LILA. LILA MY GAL NO UR DOING UR BEST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Im crying im actually fucginf crying. She's trying. So hard. Skid is trying so hard. THEY'RE DOING THEIR BEST PLEASEEEEE. Father Gregor can go EAT SHIT. THEY'RE TRYING AND THAT'S WHAT COUNTS GODDAMNIT.
Susie… Susie no… please… she deserves better istgggggg. What happened to their parents? Are they actually just busy? Are they DEAD? Holy shit what if they're dead. Poor Pump, poor Susie, god please just let these kiddos be ok. PLEASE. ABUELO WONDER IS TYING SO HARD BUT SUSIE KNOWS IT ISN'T REALLY FROM HER PARENTS IM CRYING. SUSIE NOOOOOO
FATHER GREGOR I HATE YOU. ok well he obvs did some good but STILL. GREGOR. STFU GREGOR. I get that hes trying but U CANT JUST SAY ALL THAT SHIT ABOUT JUDGEMENT AND THEN JUDGE HER HER FUCKING HOUSE GOT BROKEN INTO!! YOU DONT HAVE THE FUCKING CONTEXT!!!! ARGHFDGHJSGHJKAGHSD. Also DAMN IS HE A CULTIST NOW?? IS HE DEAD?? WHAT?!?!?!
ROYYYYYY ROY MY BOI NOOOOOO poor guy :( i understand why he hates the kids they DID kinda ruin him so. At least he knows theyre trying now :( and ross n rob just ASSUME he did something bad isnt helping here!!!! I get that theyre also trying to help him and its nice to see him opening up to them about stuff (even if we dont get to know what specifically PELO WHY) but PLEASE get this kid an anger management class or smthn PLEASE. He needs SO MUCH THERAPY. I dont think hes gonna get therapy because im pretty sure his parents are Part Of The Problem but STILL.  Also FUCKER LITERALLY GOT POSSESED BY A DEMON?????? THATS GOTTA BE TRAUMATIC TF
Side note i love ross and robert dearly and i appreciate them doing their best to help on both sides i love them smmmmmm AUGH
KEVIN AND RADFORD FRIENDSHIP REALLLLLLLLLL i am SO fucking happy about that!!!! Also Kevin having conflicted feelings on the kids FAIR. Similar thing to Roy except hes an adult with a semi-functional support network and is able to understand that theyre just dumb kids and they dont actually mean any harm. He’s harsher on the hatzgang cuz theyre teens and old enough to know stealing is wrong but Skid n Pump are little kiddos they dont know better. Also him disapproving of father gregor REAL THO. also HE GOT POSSESSED TOO?? TRAUMA CENTRAL HOLY SHIT
PATTY DESERVES TO HAVE A GUN ACTUALLY. Also JOHN ANGST JOHN ANGST JOHN ANGST! IS HIS KID DEAD? IS HIS DAUGHTER OK HOLY SHIT. ALSO THEM HELPING THE KIDS PROPERLY IM CRYIG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
WHAT WAS EVERMORE DOING WITH THE HOBOMEN???? HELLO??????
I SAW THAT CULT NECKLACE UNDER IGNACIOS SHIRT. I FUCKING SAW IT. CALLED IT BITCH!!!!!!
Rick just has the WORST luck lmao
STREBER IS ALIVE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO
DEXTER NO PLEASE AUGH…… HIS MOM TOO……
JAUNE AND ROSS’S DAD… HE'S REAL HE EXISTS!! I get ur trying jaune but that is NOT the best way to comfort poor lila… AT LEAST SHES TRYING THO I APPRECIATE HER
THE ENTIRE NEWGROUNDS ENDING?? THE THIEVES AND THE CANDY DEALER IN CAHOOTS WITH THE CULT???? HELLO??????
MOLOCH IS GONE. he deserved it but also THE KIDS ARE SO SAD ABOUT IT? Like they don't really get it but they just watched someone they thought was their friend DIE. HOLY SHIT.
finally. SKID AND PUMP. KIDDOS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Ok for real tho theyre so much more self aware than the fandom and bulk of the show give them credit for?? Like Skid is VERY aware of his dad being dead/possibly missing and legit just doesn’t wanna talk about it. He knows what death is and he finds fun in it to cope. My poor sweet boyo… and PUMP. PUMP ANSWERING THE CALL AUGHHHHHH HE WANTS HIS PARENTS BACK IM CRYING. SUSIE AND ABUELO ARE DOING THEIR BEST AND HE'S TRYING SO HARD AND AAAAAAAAAAUGH. Also him getting possessed by Moloch while having Star-Eyes basically debunks the theory of the Star-Eyes being a form of possession which is FASCINATING. Anyway that scene with Susie and Pump got me misty eyed and then during the ending with Skid and Lila i actually genuinely started crying. I just want them to be happy. Please let them be happy. Please. PLEASE.
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leincendiaire · 6 months
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anyways salty thoughts. dont expect me to be nice
this is the one problem not exclusive to the finale, god ed's character arc just. didnt do it for me at all. I excused it before cuz I thought it would pay off as the season went on but nope. he never had a genuine apology moment, just that youtuber apology like gag and the cat collar joke. like they literally show us how the crew was completely scarred by his actions but theyre later just completely fine with him on board???? and stede keeps being his biggest stan when I think he would have been like hey what the fuck!! im sorry I hurt you but I am not responsible for your actions and you hurt my crew whom I hold very dear!! I love ed but Fuck he really went too far those first episodes and he never makes up for it. they only ever focus on His Own self journey, not how he hurt and traumatized practically every other character.
"well, I think narratively izzy's death made sense but—" no!! no it fucking didnt!! im sorry but it was just lazy writing!! they didnt know what to do with him so whoops he gets shot in the dumbest way possible. like, this aint my first rodeo, it aint the first time ive seen a character start off on their character journey to happiness only for writers to give up on it and kill them off. it's a tiring fucking trope tbh and I really wish they hadnt fallen into this trap. like his death scene wasnt good either, if youre gonna do it at least focus on his relationship with the crew, you know, the people he came to accept as family? not the man Who Shot Off His Fucking Leg And Almost Killed Him? I know they had an important relationship but that shit should have been talked about way beforehand, it deserved closure. they should have acknowledged they werent good for each other and made peace with it. izzy deserved a death with people who actually made him happy. ALSO THEY BURY HIM ON FUCKING LAND?????? he spent his life at sea!!!! he is the most devoted out of everyone to being a pirate and you bury him next to your fucking inn???? fucking twats istg
lastly I swear they forgot stede is the main character. they forgot literally everything about how to write him. he gets No Focus in the finale, and every scene he is in is bullshit. I actually wanted to punch my screen every time there was a joke about him being incompetent or whatever. like, hello??? thought we left that shit in s1??? he had Multiple Episodes about learning to be a pirate and adjusting to his new life and gaining more skills but no. he is just silly old loserboy for his cool war criminal boyfriend now. literally no skills or experience whatsoever. ok sure yea thats totally how he acted the rest of the season. also the fuck is it with him staying behind to run the inn with ed?? wasnt the whole conflict last episode their different desires out of life, with ed wanting to start a normal life and stede wanting to be a pirate?? when the Fuck did he change his mind. who are you and have you done with my boy
honestly I feel bad because jenkins is actually a good writer and the whole fandom really expected a lot from a man making his second show, and I think there were a lot of budget cuts and production issues so I can see why it turned out this way. he is probably mad about this too, I bet the cast also, like even the acting in this episode didnt feel passionate, and thats saying a lot since these actors really love this show. im just frustrated. man. time to write fics ig
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arolesbianism · 4 months
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Look deep into my eyes. Olivia probably oversaw the production of all the brain in jar shit in oni. They were 100% a part of the duplicant memory recovery efforts. This doesn't actually matter much but it does 2 Me think of the imagery think abt it I think abt it so hard everyday imagine how sick Olivia brain imagery art would be please I'm so alone in this world
#rat rambles#why must I be so badly artblocked hhhhh#anyways I do wonder what the exact deal with the brains are#wait hold on I just double checked the scientist that was working on the memory project more directly. it was fucking nikola what the fuck#fucking hold on. holy fuck. nikola what the Fuck#he knows. He Knows. what do you mean he fucking knows? and is directly involved?????#holy shit this reframes Everything abt him what the actual fuck#I just thought he was some technician that got in too deep no he apparently also worked directly on the duplicant project#which means he had presumably full fucking preview to the dna stealing and to god knows what other shit#why was he working with the time ribbon later on? like ofc his programing and presumably mechanical skills probably both mattered to#the duplicant memory project but why would he be so active in it if he was a new recruit?#like ok maybe he wasnt we dont technically know but most of the odd ones out are picked out of the crowd in the logs#plus the way ruby talks abt him doesnt make him sound like some senior employee#and now Im thinking abt the nikola dupe description and hm. maybe ruby had a point abt him being a lil evil coded#I dont think hes evil mind you but he is giving me pretty big 'rly ambitious and willing to set aside morals for it' vibes#I have to imagine that jackie must have noticed that and thats why he got dragged in so deep#but in that case olivia. might actually be involved in that process too. Ive been wondering for a while if she was around for the whole#nikola being dragged off by mysterious guys thing and now Im wondering if she might have been Involved in that#not directly Im sure olivia doesnt like being directly involved in the less than ideal treatment of ppl but she clearly has some level of#tolerance for it and given theyre not literally murdering him its entirely possible that this wouldnt actively oppose olivias weird morals#ok sorry this post derailed quickly I had always assumed that the scientist in that log was just some rando I didnt realize it was Him#now I have to wonder if anyone else was involved in any of this#probably not? at least not knowlingly. but given how many of them there are its entirely possible#Ive also kind of been operating under the assumption that dr.holland was vaguely involved but I dont think he like Knew#mostly because Im also operating under the assumption that he wrote the 'they stole our dna' email#but both are just complete guesses with no real ground to stand on#now I do imagine that olivia probably contributed quite a bit to the brain stuff to because she has done her own duplicant experiments#plus it seems like nikola is more of a programmer than a biologist so itd make sense to have a biologist working with him directly#but it easily could be like any biologist so that doesnt necessary implicate olivia for anything#oni posting
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thatdeadaquarius · 9 months
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Hallo! You know who is someone I don’t see many people appreciating? Ganyu! Imagine a neurodivergent creator reader who is the one that finds her when she’s going through one of her crises when she doesn’t know if she belongs with the humans or Adepti and reader can understand her because that’s how they feel as well about life?? And about their old world and sometimes this one??
I feel that they could potentially bond over that and maybe even realize Ganyu is also somewhat neurodivergent in some way?? Or she’s very socially inept in some ways and reader can relate and share in those worries so the two just sometimes sit together shoulder to shoulder and just not say anything and just relax and everyone is confused??? Anyways that’s all for me, keep up the great work! :D
-Bonk anon
GOD, NEURODIVERGENT ASKS, JUST HAVE MY WHOLE HEART IN YOUR HANDS 😭😭🤲🤲💙💙
JUST TAKE IT I DONT NEED IT-
ALSO LESSER ASKED FOR/LESS POPULAR CHARACTERS??
SIGN ME TF UP-
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Ahhh, look at her... I would die for her, kill for her... either way, what bliss ✨️
also fuCK mihoyo, she’s fat and beautiful and so thats how she gonna be written. 😤
saw this in my mailbox forever ago and as i was workng thru them, was just like, “damn that Ganyu ask is so close im so excited to write abt her <33”
Sun: Neurodivergent!Reader, Gender Neutral (they/them)
Orbit: tiny scenario +headcanons
Stars: Ganyu, my dearest.
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: talk of low self-esteem & Trigger Warnings: talk of low self-esteem, neurodivergent struggles, talk of missing meals (ganyu wants to schedule out her lunch-breaks).
when you’d initially explained to the (actually scarily strong irl) genshin characters who’d been claiming all kinds of wild stuff about you (”The Last Descender! The World Player!”)
you’d been in Liyue at the time, and out of everyone, the first you could see believed you were a mortal on Earth before (and not ruling it 💀) was Ganyu.
She’d looked shocked, like the others, but you could quickly see her get more and mire visibly twitchy and excited as you explained further
(rlly unlike the just,, utter confusion on Xiao’s, Zhongli’s, Shenhe’s, and Cloud Retainer’s faces, so convinced of your divinity there’s no way you could be human- even just acting like one-)
but you did, and Ganyu loved it.
you actually didn’t interact much for the first month you were stuck in a gacha video game (the other alloegenes, gods, adepti, and citizens, including international, pulling you around for opinions on this and that)
But one night you couldn’t sleep (the Qixing provided amble spacious housing in a temple already apparently dedicated to you, one you’d never seen in game)
It’d been… a rough day.
Everywhere you went, miscommunications followed, and you still didn’t really know how to mask properly around these just- well, since they were real, aliens
sure, they mimicked stuff about humans, but not the people/culture you’d mostly been around, (and the adepti had their own code of behavior, which was so complex you’re sure they should’ve made an actual social behavior manual by now)
but you just couldn’t escape the endless cycle, not only that, but your executive function had apparently forgotten to keep up with some important appointments or otherwise things you had needed to get done earlier, so you were scrambling to send a late letter to Fontaine inventors who needed to get the project started in 3 days, which is how long the letter takes to get there, oh gods, and you needed to check on Inazuma, apparently Seirai island is getting lightningy again and the Raiden Shogun wants you in person as soon as possible to aid her with it, but you need to attend a Knights of Favonius meeting in 2 days-
Yeah. You were stressed, and honestly? crumbling under the pressure.
So you’d snuck out of your rooms (dodging the patrolling guards) and went to the office of the one person who knew who’d understand
Ganyu. Scribbling and mumbling in her office to herself, late into the night
She’d jumped at you slipping in without knocking (avoid the Milieth at all costs, even tho ur literally god and you’ve been told you can do whatever you want mostly)
and knocked a whooooollleee stack of papers to the floor, scattering it everywhere 😭
you’d scrambled to start picking them up,, but then she stops you frantically saying “No, no, it’s okay, it’s not a big deal I promise, there’s no need to cry over these silly papers, heaven-sent!”
what??
oh.
oh no.
it’d just been one more thing you’d messed up on top of all of today (and tbh this whole month whirlwind of becoming some kind of god of the continent)
and Ganyu was, Ganyu <3
she was sweet and kind and so overwhelmingly helpful, how could you make a mess of her life too-
“Emperor? Huangdi?”
you’re just sitting on the floor now, but you startle when she gently holds your upper arms, calling your name very softly, so soft if she wasn’t saying you actual name you’d think she was talking to something else, something precious to her
the qilin guides you up, easily supporting your weight, she directs you to her couch, and manuvers you into laying your head across her plush thighs, the half-adepti’s pants aren’t as skin-tight like in-game, they’re actually the cosiest fabric you’ve ever laid on (or maybe that’s just a combination of your fragileness and her thick thighs)
she rubs your shoulder and back, offering a tissue (when did she get that-)
and that’s when you know you’ve chosen your first friend in Teyvat perfectly :)
you sneak out nearly every night for those first few months in Liyue (not including travel, which you tried to limit or you’d both make an excuse why she needed to come with lol)
just to sneak into her office, and you’d nearly cried a second time on her when she offered some notes about both standard human and adepti behaviors (after all, she’s had to study them both to fit into both)
Ganyu learns to do your hair and you do hers 🥺 she can’t bring herself to trust anyone to cut her hair but you, and you always try to do styles that don’t get in her way <3
like buns with a braid wrapped around it, or two space buns (Keqing didn’t say anything but Ganyu gossiped to you about how she could see a little smile on her face whenever she ran into Ganyu that week, obviously cutely thinking how they matched)
While of course the first thing Ganyu did was propose to help you schedule/manage your time so you wouldn’t have to rely on your non-existent executive function-
you’d also made sure to literally plop ur chin over her shoulder to make sure you saw “break” AT LEAST once a day, now that she was incorporating herself a little into ur schedule too (Ganyu fought tooth and nail to get rid of that lunch-break, but then you threatened to also not eat, and she caved so fast LMAO)
(bc she’s a die-hard workaholic ofc she wants this, after you heard abt her schedule in-game you’d thought it was lucky she was not fully human or she would’ve dropped dead, but now even moreso watching that horror in real time 💀)
which!! she!! is so!! (at this point you usually just squeeze her round cheeks a little too hard before then wrapping your arms as far as they can go around her torso and squeezing even harder-)
After a couple of “your trauma 🤝 my trauma” nights, she honestly understood really well where your limits were so to speak, what you could and simply couldn’t do
and was the first one willing to explain to people you have executive dysfunction (and was quick to cut off any “just try harder/pull yourself up by your bootstraps/just believe in yourself” nonsense when if came to your disabilities, even tho those were few and far between moments if any)
afterall, people had expected the same from her, and she frequently fell into that thinking herself (it also didn’t help that as you tried to give her a normal schedule at first, which benefitted her human side more, it felt like the Qixing was stumbling to keep up with the supernatural workload now being distributed)
Ganyu knew it had been your influence originally that helped her when she’d had her workload lightened/then followed by the traveler when she ran off
(and regardless of the truth too, when you’d finally gotten the courage to tell her how you actually interacted with Teyvat, unable to steer actions from what the plot dictated)
she’d still attributed it to you, (”well, you could’ve always just picked up your things and left, yes? But even if it was ‘pre-planned’ like you say, you still wanted to follow through and were… ahem, h-happy for m-me, right?” you’d smacked right into her you stimmed so relieved)
You didn’t exactly know how to explain it, bc everyone was really accepting,
from citizens to nobles, officials and guards, to vision-users, gods and other supernatural beings that inhabited Teyvat
no one judged you for unmasking/stimming, but in that way that meant they didn’t really understand what was different about you, they just knew you were and they’d still decided to treat you with the same adoration anyway
but Ganyu,
she treated you the same but knew what stims you did when you were happy or excited, what ones comforted you, what your latest verbal stims were, and what your “classics” were (u never had to tell her, she just learned them quick and all on her own, bless this woman 🛐 )
Ganyu understood all the good and all the bad and saw you unmasked and still laughed so hard at your jokes she fell into your side and always asked another question about your hyperfixations/interests
you’d quickly realized there were a lot of neurodivergent overlaps between stuff Ganyu did and what you did
(whether or not she herself was, you just assumed yes based on what you researched, but there wasn’t any official testing in teyvat)
it makes more sense to you after applying the neurospicy filter to all her actions why she’s so obsessed with work (she hyperfixates on certain projects the Qixing has going, and has a long-term passive fixation on scheduling/stationary/related office work stuff)
but this also meant you understood why she was always asking for more about you, your mortal world, your time here, where you wanted to go in teyvat, what you wanted to do, how’d you feel when the game did this to someone, what about-?
needless to say you couldn’t (and didn’t have to 🥲) contain your stims at knowing you became a slight hyperfixation for her
she got all embarassed and blushy about it!!! <333😩 (and did that cute thing where she just kinda sways in place holding her hands together when bashful or nervous ✨💔✨)
unrelated to above, but your favorite thing (besides sightseeing or eating at yet another new restaurant in liyue) to do together is go do something childish
like playing children’s games (hopscotch, or hill sliding in ganyus case) from both ur childhoods
u thought itd be a good idea to get Ganyu to relax a little more and have more fun outside her job!
(again, unrelated bc idk im scattered with these headcanons, the cryo user loves when you help her pick new outfits at stores not bc she wants to impress u what)
ok last unrelated headcanon i promise,
Ganyu wasn’t overly affectionate before, honestly she was always going too fast to stop for those kind of casual touches (and when was there time in her old scedule)
but after a month of getting comfortable around each other, she subconciously gets up from her desk (mid-reading a file/carrying it with her lmao)
and sits on her office couch, making room for you to lay on her (and she is the perfect pillow)
(you dont point it out, you know she’ll get too embarassed, and you refuse to lose Ganyu cuddles <3)
im so glad im not the only one who took one look at Ganyu’s problems in life and was like, “damn im neurospicy, ur so right, blue-frosty-magical-half-deer-secretary-woman”
btw it’s on the masterlist “turn on the background music?” but here’s really long playlist I made for sagau stuff!
mostly game music but also other fun songs i hope fit, mostly based of my blog so it’s not dark (as the other playlists under SAGAU search on spotify looked dark too lmao)
Safe Travels Bonk Anon,
💀♒
I mentioned making a kofi before, but I think I’ll start including it in posts too if u guys dont mind!
An iced coffee? For me?? :O
♡the beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks
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mikalame · 9 months
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can u pls do 2007 tom and f!reader having an angry love confession that ends up with sex but it's the f!readers first time doing it? btw i love ur writing sooo much!! 🩷
First time
taglist: @violentnewmarley @saumspam
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"GOD ___, YOU DIDN'T SEE HOW HE WAS LOOKING AT YOU!" tom yells, trying to defend him from the situation he got himself into back at the club the two of them went to as the others were off doing something else.
"SO DOESN'T MEAN YOU PUNCH THE GUY, HE WAS NICE" ___ yells back confused on why tom punched the guy she was talking to, the guy who had been cracking jokes, though they weren't funny it was the thought that counts.
"SURE, THE ONLY REASON HE WAS NICE WAS CAUSE YOUR ASS WAS PRACTICAL BEGGING FOR ATTENTION" immetatly regretting what he said and pit formed in his stomach from the words, he really did feel bad, he was just so jealous and seeing you talk to that dimwit got him so angry, mabey it was the alcohol that made him lash out, thats what toms gonna blame it on.
"W-WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH HUH" "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND, FUCK I GET SO JEALOUS WHEN YOUR LAUGHING CAUSE SO IDIOT SAID SOME HALF ASS JOKE" He yells his eyes widening after realising what he had said, he stutters trying to back track before soft lips were on his own.
Realising she was kissing him he pushed back, opening his mouth making hers open as well making there tongues fight for dominance (ew), tom wins all the adrenaline from confessing forcing itself out.
He grabs her butt patting it signalling that he wanted her to jump up, she took the hint hopping up, his hands how holding her firmly as he walks them over to his room in the hotel.
They keep kissing when they're in the room before he chucks her on the bed, he crawls on top of her, his thigh opening her own up, placing his leg between the two just where she needed it.
His hands move slowly up her top, making sure that if she needed to say no she could but with no complainants he decides to go for it and grope her boob over her bra, snaking the other own to undo the clip, beofre sliding the straps off along with her top, throwing it over his shoulder, in one smooth motion he takes his own off aswell
when looking back at the girl he sees she has her arms covering her tits "i haven't done this before tom... im kinda nervous" she mutters looking away embarrassed, wondering if he would think less of her now that he knows shes a virgin.
"That ok baby, ill make sure you feel good, so good" he says kissing down her neck leaving purple marks on it, finding her sweet spot and attacking it wanting her so feel as good as possible.
"Move your arms baby please, i love all of you" he whispers into her neck pulling her arms away slowly.
Once her arms are fully pulled away they cling onto his neck tracing patterns onto his tan skin, focusing on the feeling hes giving her, her eyebrows knitted together mouth slightly apart, enough to let his know he doing a good job.
He pulls back to admire his handy work, her neck littered in different shades of purple. He leans down again placing soft kisses on her chest and stomach before reaching the wait line of her low-rise jeans, just hours before he wished about this moment and now he actually doing it, he prays to what ever god there is that this isnt a dream.
"Please tom i need you" she groans pulling her jeans off impatiently, leaving her panties on though wanting him to pull them off, he pulled them off slowly, not pulling his eyes for her own.
"Fuck Schatzi, you dont know what your doing to me" Tom groans before placing wet kisses around her inner thigh sucking slightly in some areas.
"Please tom, dont tease" she whines, moaning when he finally kiss where she needs it, her hands clinging on his dreads when he starts using his tongue, his nose budging against her clit sending waves of pleasure all though out her body.
She hears some groaning from tom, looking up from her spot seeing him grinding against the bed, his thick eyebrows knitted together, his hand slowly moving to her heat, a finger prodding at her entrance before sliding in when he pulls his face away from her heat.
"There we go baby" he praises slowly trusting his finger in and out using his other hand to rub tight circles on her clit, making her back arch up from the bed, Tom adds another feeling his finger pump in and out smoothly from her.
"Tom please hurry, want you now" she whines her hands gripping the bed sheets tightly, "i know baby but i need to stretch you out before, or else it gonna hurt like a bitch" tom chuckles to himself.
A few minutes of this goes by ___ whines and moans getting louder and louder turning tom on even more before she can even start to beg again he takes his fingers out licking them clean before undo his belt and taking him boxers and jeans off, instant relief washes over him as he cock hits his stomach.
He crawls on top of her again rubbing his tip over her pussy collecting her wetness before pressing into her warmth, groans make there way through his throat tilting his head back enjoying the feeling, his ears picking up the little squeal ___ did moving his head down to check that she was okay.
Her breathing was heavy, knitted eyebrows, and knuckles white from holding the sheets so tightly, Tom leans down whispering sweet praises into her ear rubbing her soft skin.
"Please move tommy" she gasps out trying to regain her breathing, her arms wrapped over his neck, scratching lightly when he did some shallow thrusts becoming harder when he really starts to fuck her.
She moans loudly, her hand trying to grip something frantically when tom starts going faster he whispers how good she feels.
"Ah, fuck tom, so good.." she trails off her eyes rolling back, he grabs her thighs pushing them onto her chest, now ploughing in and out.
"Ha, yes right there... oh god yes" She moans loud "yeah r-right there baby" he groans back the knot in his stomach forming faltering some of his thrusts.
"Tom im-im gonna-" her moan cuts her off, back arching and nails digging deeper into his skin is enough for him, he pumps into her a few more times riding out her high before quickly pulling out pumping himself a few times and then cumming all over her stomach.
"be mine" he whispers looking down at the girl who was wiping off his cum, his heart beating nervously, a fear of getting rejected bouncing all around his head.
"you really think that i would just give anybody my virginity tom, i was yours as soon as you kissed back" she giggles kissing him sweetly.
Hope you guys like, i have major writers block so im really glad for this request please send more love you all
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