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vivithefolle · 3 years

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Hi Vivi, can you share some thoughts on the "Hermione deserves to be/should have married to XYZ because she is way too good for Ron" mentality of this fandom??

I’m gonna copy-paste a Quora answer of mine, because recycling is important!

Claiming that Ron is “out of Hermione’s league” is a statement rooted in sexism, classism and probably a bunch of other -isms.

It might seem like I’m just throwing buzz-words around but let me explain.

First off, the sexism.

Oh, the sexism.

As I’ve pointed it out in yet another one of my answers (I’m so sorry for drowning you all in a plethora of links), Ron is very much a female-coded male character.

Ron is emotional, wears his heart on his sleeve, has anxieties and inadequacies, walks off in order to cool down, has a temper, puts other people before his needs, and pretty much adopts Harry when he rescues him in the second book. He’s the Heart of the Trio: he doesn’t rely on sole logic, he can believe something without proof, he is sensitive and thus is the easiest to hurt emotionally.

Whether you call it a “beta male”, a “wuss”, “defying gender roles” or a “soft boy” is your own business, but the core of it is that Ron doesn’t meet the standards for people’s vision of a “desirable” masculine figure.

The little things Ron quietly performs in the books - when he helps Harry into his pyjamas in Chamber of Secrets because Harry’s arm is bloop; when he’s worrying about Hermione’s whereabouts in Prisoner of Azkaban; when he helps Harry unwind after his visions in Goblet of Fire; when he puts food onto Harry’s plate and wakes him up from his nightmares in Order of the Phoenix; when he beams that Hermione was “perfect, obviously” when she passes her Apparition test - all those caring gestures don’t seem like much, but if you bother to think about it, they paint an enormous picture.

Who gets Hermione to stop overworking while making her feel good about her accomplishments? Who comforts Harry from his nightmares and cares for him in the dead of the night, when nobody is awake? Who makes sure his friends are healthy and happy? Who wards off the dark and depressing thoughts, be it with his fists or a joke?

It’s Ron.

When you think about it, “traditional masculinity” in Harry Potter is as much frowned upon as “traditional feminity” is - which sometimes bites Rowling in the butt when you remember how she obviously seems to consider that Hermione and Ginny are the only desirable kind of girls.

Vernon Dursley? The entrepreneur “king of the household” prejudiced suburbian middle-class Dad? Fits in the usual tropes of traditional masculinity.

Dudley Dursley? The typical “boys will be boys” spoiled middle-class only child who’s the apple of his parents’ eyes and even takes up boxing, as if he wasn’t traditionally masculine enough.

Draco Malfoy? See Dudley, but toss in “upper-class posh aristocrat bully who doesn’t like to get his hands dirty so he has henchmen do it for him because he’s too rich for this sh-t”, would remind you of a few Christian Greys or Gatsbys.

Dolores Umbridge? Oh no, cat pictures, decorative plates, talks to teens as if they’re babies and PINK, SO MUCH PINK!!! So disgustingly feminine!!

Rowling very much frowns upon traditional gender roles - with Molly Weasley being an exception because Rowling feels very strongly about being a mother, and relates to Molly a lot.

Right - so, being a beautiful mess of paradoxes and contradictions (a “soft boi” who also punches bullies in the face, a fussy mother-hen who swears like a sailor, a tall athlete with badass scars on his arms who’s nurturing and sweet; in short, a wonderfully human character), Ron is obviously going to be a polarizing character. You painfully relate to him and get defensive when he’s criticized, you feel his characterization hits a bit too close to home so you hate him, or you disregard him completely because you can’t see anything “special” about him…

Now, onto another very, very sexist point that is often made.

People say that Hermione “deserves better” than Ron, often claiming that they “aren’t intellectual equals”, then citing Harry (who is mistaken as being some sort of slumbering genius but honestly, the kid is really a bit daft) or Draco (since apparently, being rich must equal to being intelligent) or, god forbid, Snape (because he’s a teacher and teachers are meant to be clever).

Soooo, I could go the loooooong way and pull out all the receipts that prove that none of these characters are perfectly intellectually matched to Hermione…

Or I could go the long way and simply give you this: this obsession with finding an “intellectual equal” for Hermione reflects the mentality of “women are not allowed to be better at something than their husband”.

Yep.

A woman has to be all-around pretty good at everything, whereas a man has to be the absolute best in his area of greatest competence (surely better than any puny female!) with a help-meet there to compensate for his weaknesses. People are very, very uncomfortable when Ron and Hermione reverse this dynamic. Hermione is extremely intelligent and dedicated to intellectual pursuits, but is complete pants at things like self-care and people skills. Ron is bright enough to keep up with her and strong in her areas of weakness.

Even if Ron was as dumb as a sack of rocks (he’s not), his other virtues are more than enough to “justify” Hermione loving him. (Because she needs an excuse?) But no. A woman has to be with a man who outdoes her in her area of greatest strength. - credit to @lytefoot

People don’t want Hermione to be with a man who’s her “equal.” They want her to be with a man who can be The Man so she can know the contentment of being The Woman.

But, with this sexist line of thought, how do we justify how Ron is supposed to be such a bad match for Hermione? Because if it was just about mere sexism, Romione would surely be more popular. Imagine! Ron happily raising the children, being a house-husband and proud of it, while Hermione is out there fighting for justice in the wizarding world! What a power-couple, defying norms and gender roles and not being the least bit conscious of it, prime OTP material for sure! So why do people still want Hermione to put Harry, Draco, or god forbid², Snape in Ron’s place? Is this an irrational hatred of redheads? An Harmionian’s delirious wet dream? A failure to separate the actors from their characters?

It’s all this and, quite frankly, something more: the inherent classism that comes with Ron’s status as an explicitly working-class coded character.

I know, I know, “Vivian! Calm down with the buzzwords, you’re starting to sound like an online pretend-feminist magazine!”

Or “Come on, people who don’t ship Ron and Hermione together aren’t all sexist or classist!”

Of course, of course! I know that! I’m not implying that!

But some of the “reasons” why they claim that Ron and Hermione can’t work - are extremely classist in nature, that’s just it!

Come on, think about it! What are the Number Ones arguments people always pull against Ron? Or the most common Ron-bashing tropes (look at fanfics and watch the number of stories that use at least one of those)?

Ron is stupid/mediocre

Ron is lazy/useless

Ron resents his wife’s hard work/success

Ron is a homophobe

Ron is a drunkard

Ron (the big prude who at 16 had never kissed a girl and sees a first kiss as the prelude to a wedding) is massively oversexed and cheats on Hermione with anything that moves

Not only do these “reasons” completely ignore ALL OF RON’S CHARACTERIZATION - except for the “lazy” bit but come off it, all teenagers are lazy and Hermione’s the exception to the rule - but it matches perfectly with the negative stereotypes associated with working-class white men in fiction.

It’s also very funny to note how many (assumedly middle-class or financially secure) fans look down on Ron for being “whiny” or “greedy” when he expresses the desire to have money of his own, or blame his parents for “not knowing when to stop” or “being irresponsible”, or even look down on them for being “too proud to accept help”!! Also how shocked people are when Ron dares to stand up for himself when Hermione or Harry act badly towards him. How dare this country boy not listen to the wisdom of his social “betters”?

So, obviously, because our Heroine can’t go with a Nasty, Mediocre Working-Class Man, she must be paired off with someone of Proper Status: say, a Hero that was raised in a middle-class home and might be a bit psychologically damaged but it’s nothing all those gold coins in his vault can’t fix; or this Rich Posh Aristocrat who actively rooted for her death, he’s a little bit eccentric and has some exotic pet-names to call you, but I’m sure you’ll learn to love him and will unearth the gold coins in his bank account… I mean, the heart of gold that lies within the surface; oh, why not a Way Too Big An Age Difference Teacher if you’re looking for a “cultured man” who has zero things in common with you; we can also bring Convenient Plot Device Famous Rich Foreign Athlete if you want some diversity and you don’t feel original!

But we can’t - oh, we mustn’t let her be with this Terrible Working-Class Boy! His brothers are fine, they have money, they have jobs, so they’re obviously Not As Mediocre. But let our precious Hermione be with this Just-Got-Out-Of-School hooligan? She can’t possibly be in love with him! You’ll see darling, you’ll get bored eventually! He’s too mediocre for you, you deserve a man who outclasses you - I mean, who can provide for you! You’re a fragile little flower who scars people for life when she’s not happy with them, what makes you think that this boy can possibly handle you even though he’s done so for the past seven years?

You wanted it, you got it.

People are shallow, have misconceptions about Ron’s character that they are unwilling to correct or use classist and sexist arguments to try to make it so that either Ron is the Devil himself / Hermione is a higher kind of being that can only orgasm if sufficiently “intellectually stimulated” / what-have-you.

#vivi answers #ask #ron weasley #hermione granger #romione #ron weasley defense squad #ron weasley defence squad #sexism #classism #hp meta #fandumb #hp fandom

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technicolorfamiliar · 5 years

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The Artist vs Social Media

I have been sharing my feelings about art and its ever-growing relationship to social media with a number of people recently. I wrote a bit about it here some months ago, but that was primarily focused on reactions to different types of art I was posting on different platforms. Without a doubt, it’s been something that’s given me pause for a while, and I have a suspicion I can’t be the only person that feels this way.

To be clear: this is not meant to be an attack on the people who enjoy and excel at being a creative on social media. It is purely an expression of my own frustration, a cry out to others who have struggled with the same issues, because I know I’m not alone.

First of all, my personal style just doesn’t compliment a successful social media presence, I’m such a fan of the long-format, in general. I don’t want anything in my life to be bite-sized, cropped, or condensed. I struggle to convey the concepts teeming in my heart in a limited number of characters and pixels. As I am evolving as an artist, I enjoy incorporating many layers of meaning, drawing on a multitude of sources for inspiration. Social media, for the most part, wants to condense, compartmentalize, limit. It’s short-format, lacks fluidity, and promotes shorter attention spans. It feels counterintuitive to the kind of art I love and the art I want to be making.

For as streamlined and easy as social media has made sharing artwork with the great big world out there, it’s also birthed a lot of additional anxiety and despair. At least that’s been my experience. Some people have taken to social media like ducks to water, they are thriving in an endless stream of posts and pictures and stories. But this particular artmaker finds the rise of social media more like an impossible mountain, and climbing it is a requirement.

I envy the artists and makers who have figured out how to hack social media in order to promote their work and their brand. These people make it look easy, like social media integration with one’s art practice is as simple as breathing. I understand how it is crucial now as any kind of artist to have a big social media presence. But despite that understanding, I still have a lot of issues with it.

I was in art school in the still relatively early days of Instagram. Facebook and Twitter were big, but I didn’t really ever get too deeply involved in either platform. For me, Facebook was mostly for staying in touch with friends and family back home. I didn’t even have a smart phone until some time after I graduated. The school I attended encouraged us to build a website, get a business card, but there was no way to prepare us for the expansion of these apps among others that would emerge later on. This is not a sorry attempt at an excuse for my complicated relationship with social media, because there are a lot of artists in their early 30s right now who are very clearly doing well in that arena.

Circa 2009 – 2011, using social media for networking was beginning to be a real thing to consider. Having a Facebook page and separate Instagram and Twitter accounts devoted to your craft in addition to your website and blog in order to reach all possible professional connections was increasingly important. And now, they are all absolutely essential. People think you must be kidding yourself if you’re making art and don’t have a social media presence. I’ve caught myself being judgmental of young artists who aren’t on social media. But then I’m reminded of my own issues with Facebook and Instagram and all the others and I think maybe I should shut my mouth.

—

That’s the background. The real thing I’m trying to say is this:

Social media is exhausting.

I hate it.

For all the good content being generated and shared on FB, IG, etc there are a thousand mentally and emotionally draining posts being shared by people who, by and large, aren’t on social media to promote their craft. And that’s fine, people should have a place to vent their frustrations, laugh at funny or un-funny memes, share recipes and cute animal videos, get 100+ validating reactions to their photos, post thoughts/criticisms/ideas too long for Twitter but too short for a blog…

But to expect an artist generating original content to compete with everything else being blasted on every social media platform is complete and utter unrealistic nonsense.

—

My big, huge, major beef with social media is the totally insane decision to stop having posts featured in chronological order on pretty much every major platform. This really hurts creative people who are trying to get exposure, share their work to the world (or at least their friends and followers), and requires them to generate even more content, or share the same post over and over again in the hopes that their painting or photo or video somehow makes it over all the other posts from everybody else that are only just so much noise. Trying to get noticed or share your work with likeminded creatives you don’t already know is like shouting in a canyon full of other people shouting, drowned out by all the other voices and the echoes of the voices.

But that’s not the only thing about social media that keeps me up at night.

There are people on social media who have become experts in making their lives look like perfect, magical journeys of self discovery and growth and good fortune. Seeing their perfectly composed, perfectly lit photos of what is supposedly their daily lives, their brunches, their cocktails, their pets, their clothes, their travels, their significant others, and whatever else makes me want to not even try. Why should I even bother to try to compete with that? Looking at those kinds of posts immediately makes me feel inferior because 1) I’m not living that theoretically beautiful, charmed life, and 2) I’m not generating masses of content like that of my own experience. I look at my weird little life and there’s hardly anything photo- or post-worthy, at least not on a daily basis, not enough to get above everyone else’s noise. When did having a social media presence become an art form in and of itself? One of my very close friends described social media as performance art, which is probably the best description of this phenomenon I’ve ever heard. I’m not saying it’s not hard work — in order to project this perfect life, you have to be a photographer, or at least know and/or have the money to pay for one, be a master of self-marketing, and you have to set aside the time in your day to make the posts (more on that in a bit). But as someone with at least half a brain, I know that the content being gobbled up by glowing, supportive friends and followers is only a version of reality.

I know I’m not the only one who feels utterly alienated by the “perfect lives” being presented on social media, and I know that it’s not most people’s intention to alienate their friends by posting gorgeous photographs and positive affirmations of their own journeys.

And yet, even just thinking about it is exhausting. It’s a destructive and deadly combination of self-loathing and self-doubt inspired by the vast majority of what I see on Facebook and Instagram with knowing full well that those feelings are totally unfounded since the posts are not a true reflection of reality. It doesn’t motivate me, it doesn’t inspire me to follow their lead, it doesn’t get my blood pumping. It just makes me tired.

—

By my nature, I am a relatively private person. I have no real desire to share my private life with strangers, and it’s a struggle for me to open up to acquaintances. I have a hard time talking about myself, my dreams and aspirations, my needs and wants with other people. I keep to myself, I have a small circle of close friends and family with whom I share things openly.

There’s nothing like the gut-wrenching feeling you get when you’re talking passionately about your art or your interests or your hopes for the future with someone and seeing the very moment their eyes glaze over with disinterest. It’s a special kind of soul-crushing dismissal that has lead me to live an introvert’s life. Because why, after all, would I share anything with people when that’s the reaction I often got in my youth when sharing with my peers?

The whole grand purpose of social media is to share. Share everything and share often. Artists who hold regular jobs and don’t have an abundance of free time or energy to devote to generating social media content on top of the art they’re already making need to find that magical balance. The Buzzfeed article about burnout that was circulating a few months ago touches on this a bit. Work + Art + Self Promotion. That’s always been the case for artists looking to make a profit off their work, but now it’s on a whole other level and puts creatives in direct competition with social media influencers and everyone else on FB, IG, Twitter, Tumblr, Snapchat, etc. When I say time and energy, I mean the lack of energy I personally have after a working a job that already requires me to use my creativity, strategy, and organizational skills. When I get home or when I finish a job, I want to recharge so I can have the energy and motivation to actually sit in my studio and make new art. I struggle with budgeting out my time and energy for taking photos, writing cute little descriptions, thinking up clever hashtags, and setting timers to remind me when to post in order to get the most views.

I’m over-focused right now on making the art, in finding my voice as an illustrator, in re-vamping my portfolio and considering the future of my practice. I would need a personal assistant to run my social media accounts in an effective and professional way, and I don’t understand how other artists don’t have assistants. Or maybe they do. At the very least it would require me to have my phone in my hand far more than I already do, so another reason to keep it on me, especially in my studio while I’m in the zone, working, makes me feel gross.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “But Emma… you took all this time to write and edit this long blog post. Surely you could have used that time to work on content for your IG or FB accounts.” And you would be right. However, I’m in a place mentally and emotionally where I see the social media game, I understand it, but I just don’t want to play it. Not the way we’re all expected to if we want to get noticed. I’m not a performance artist, I’m not extroverted enough, my process doesn’t lend itself to this new gold standard of being an artist in the 21st century. Am I making big strides to change my process? Not really, because the very nature of social media feels inauthentic to me and the work I want to be making.

—

In the end… I don’t really know how to make social media work for me and my own journey as an artist. It would be great if there was some compromise, some middle path for people like me who are rubbed the wrong way by hashtags and stories and filters. Is there even a possibility for existing any other way as an artist today? Because everyone I know who creates any kind of art seems to have accepted and figured out the key to doing well on social media. It’s almost not even worth airing my grievances since I’m not willing to completely change and conform to something that does not feel right to me.

I’ll just keep plugging along as I have been until I figure it out. Or some kind souls who have been through a similar conundrum swoop in and offer their wisdom and insight.

#my writing #art vs social media #long post

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delicatelyhopefulavenue-blog · 5 years

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Take a Nose Dive Into Self-Help

8 Category self-assessment that will help you improve as an individual

12/05/18

A great benefit to taking Psychology classes is that you tend to learn quite a bit about yourself. Not only that but you start to see others in a different way. You catch on to characteristics you may not have noticed before, or maybe you did notice but thought maybe it was just a quirk of that individual. For instance, speaking of learning about myself, this little self-assessment was conducted this year. First in September, and then again in December to see how I more or less improved in each category. It was taken from a book I utilized in my Strategies for Life Success class. There are 8 categories of self assessment and I think they’re extremely powerful ways to determine who you are as a person and what areas in your life need improvement.

So lets dive in.

The 8 categories are defined as follows according to what is Self-Improving and what is Self-Diminishing. If you find you relate more with what is Self-Diminishing behavior, try to determine why that is and determine ways of altering your mindset.

1. Accepting personal responsibility;

Self-Improving: seeing yourself as the primary cause of your outcomes and experiences

Self-Diminishing: playing the victim card, believing that what happens to you is determined primarily by external forces such as fate, luck, and powerful others

2. Discovering self-motivation

Self-Improving: finding purpose in your life by pursuing personally meaningful goals and dreams

Self-Diminishing: difficulty sustaining motivation, often feeling depressed, frustrated, and/or resentful about lack of direction in your life

3. Mastering self-management

Self-Improving: consistently planning and taking purposeful actions in pursuit of your dreams and goals

Self-Diminishing: seldom identifying specific actions needed to accomplish a desired outcome, and when you do, you tend to procrastinate

4. Employing interdependence

Self-Improving: building mutually supportive relationships that help you achieve your goals and dreams (while helping others do the same) In other words being equally as independent as you are dependent

Self-Diminishing: acting solitary, seldom requesting and even rejecting offers of assistance from those who could help

5. Gaining self-awareness

Self-Improving: consciously employing behaviors, beliefs, and attitudes that keep you on course

Self-Diminishing: making important choices unconsciously, being directed by self-sabotaging habits and outdated life scripts

6. Adopting lifelong learning

Self-Improving: finding valuable lessons and wisdom in nearly every experience you have

Self-Diminishing: resist to learning new ideas and skills, viewing learning as fearful or boring rather than beneficial

7. Developing emotional intelligence

Self-Improving: effectively managing your emotions and the emotions of others in support of your goals and dreams

Self-Diminishing: living at the mercy of strong emotions such as anger, sadness, anxiety, or a need for instant gratification

8. Believing in yourself

Self-Improving: seeing yourself as a capable, lovable, and unconditionally worthy human being

Self-Diminishing: doubting your competence and personal value, feeling inadequate to create your desired outcomes and experiences

In the book you go through a list of 64 statements and rate them 1–10 whether it is not true at all or very true. Even though you will not be able to asses actual scores within this blog post, I greatly believe that each of the categories and whether you relate more with one or the other is incredibly eye opening in itself. I have raised my score in every area since September except two, but I have improved the most in Accepting Personal Responsibility and Gaining Self-Awareness.

Accepting Personal Responsibility: I have improved by seeing myself as the primary cause of my outcomes and experiences.

Gaining Self-Awareness: I have improved my conscious beliefs behaviors and attitudes that keep me on course.

I have definitely accepted the reality throughout these past few months that the only person who truly can make me happy and can control how I react to everything good or bad is myself. I can make myself happier, I just have to try to discover what will do that. I can make myself healthier, I just need to find the will and make more of a conscious effort. Not that I didn’t know these things, but you can know something for a long time but finally make a connection with that knowledge much later. I’ve diminished my thinking that other people are the problem and have realized more that I just haven’t found the right people or that I don’t need other people to accomplish… well anything really. Obviously, I need a mechanic to fix my car, but those aren’t the kind of things I mean. Having to depending on other people to make you happy, keep you entertained, or make you feel like a better person will only end up disappointing you, and I often have felt disappointed or let down by people. I have realized that there is a lot of untapped potential within myself to be an even more successful happy thriving adult, and while other people, especially a significant other, aid a lot in your emotional well-being, it all begins with yourself. This ties in tremendously with why my Gaining Self-Awareness score increased as well.

I still could improve in other areas of the assessment, but my scores have lowered in Employing Interdependence and Developing Emotional Intelligence.

Employing Interdependence: I have become more solitary and seldom request or even reject offers of assistance from those who could help.

Developing Emotional Intelligence: I have been living more at the mercy of strong emotions such as anger, sadness, anxiety, or a need for instant gratification.

The past few months have been difficult because of personal matters. My dad is in his final stages of cancer and each day my mom and I wonder if it will be his last day. His death will be life altering and I struggle with the thought of what our lives will be like without him. I also have suffered through quite a few struggles in my relationship and broke up with my boyfriend, yet he still continues to come back into my life and I am stuck in between knowing things will get better in the future based changed circumstances and wondering if I would be able to wait that long. I signed up for what turned out to be one of the most frustrating classes I have ever taken as well because I took on more work than I should have based on me being placed into a group that does the bare minimum.

When it comes to interdependence, it makes sense that my score has lowered because I have felt myself pulling away from people. More than enough people have offered to be there if I want to talk but I don’t want to, and plenty of friends have asked to hangout or there have been opportunities to get together with new people but I don’t want to. I could get together with people in my other classes that have been friendly and initiated conversation, but I don’t want to. I just don’t have the emotional energy and I have always done well on my own. I have just as many introverted qualities as I do extroverted qualities which makes it easy for me to retreat and dismiss people. I am going through life and struggles that I feel people will not understand. People tend to offer help because they have good intentions, but when it comes down to it, people rarely help in way that will actually be beneficial, and it is a lot of work opening up to people about your problems. I have never truly felt that I could depend or rely on anybody but my Mom, and even that has failed me at times throughout my life.

Everything above ties into why my emotional intelligence has decreased. I have been battling anxiety and anger because of what is built up from my relationship, my struggles in my Monday night class, feeling like my family is crumbling, and struggling to not binge on a bunch of junk food every day. I find myself constantly multitasking to keep my mind off of things and trying to find that instant gratification comes into play quite a bit. Sometimes I find myself on my phone, laptop, and watching TV at the same time. I am consistently stimulated. Trying to find things I can buy online with 2 day shipping so I can have something new to perk me up for a while, constantly trying to find new and riveting things to watch so I have another medium to get lost in for a few days, scrolling endlessly on 3 different social media websites to find that funny meme or funny video to make me smile, and eating crap food on a regular basis because food is comforting and makes you feel good. The change in these little test scores are definitely eye opening. You always feel like it’s in your head, like you aren’t really being affected by people and life events, and it’s easy to live life oblivious to how your mind body and spirit truly are adjusting to things you’re going through. But the proof is right here in these self-assessment scores.

Now, what to do with all this information?

All the things I wrote about above have been important realizations that are necessary for improvement. Connecting with the information has made a big difference over simply knowing it; and a lot of my connections have been made throughout the course by being forced to write about it, actually organize the thoughts, and get them out on paper. I recently had my performance review at work, got amazing feedback, and a significant raise. Somehow that positively changed my outlook from what it has been the past couple months.

Wednesday evening every week is my down time. It is the one-week night I don’t have class or any obligations to do anything except what I wanted to do. It always goes through my head to make plans with someone, but like I mentioned above, I just don’t have the energy. Not that I physically don’t, but I mentally and emotionally don’t. I’m drained of human interaction. I can go whole days at work not interacting with a single individual and still feel this way. I have been pondering for quite some time the benefits of an emotional detox and always see posts about it online. Eliminating social media, simplifying your life, and finding constructive hobbies. Then, last night while going through another round of scrolling and binge watching, I came across a post that stated, “Find 3 hobbies: one to make you money, one to keep you in shape, and one to keep you creative.” I read that and formed another connection that made me realize I don’t have any hobbies, especially any that meet that criteria. I sat there and pondered, and the decision was made.

I went through Facebook, Instagram etc. and deactivated each and every one. I turned off the TV, put my shoes and bra back on and went to Schuler’s Books. What better place to discover than a bookstore? To start, my new focus was going to be a hobby that keeps me creative. I haven’t read a book for fun since middle school, I didn’t even know where to begin. Reading is incredibly beneficial to your mental health, but the struggle is finding one that will keep me interested, with a particular story that I would actually want to read about. But I would be stimulating myself instead of relying on screens to stimulate me, and at this point in my life, I really liked that idea.

A girl that worked there saw me after about 10 minutes and ended up giving me some amazing choices. She really dug into what she thought I would like, and it really opened my mind to the kinds of reads that are out there. After an hour I left the store with 3 new books that I had full confidence in and spent the rest of the night reading. The last book she recommended to me is one that is called “How to Not Always be Working.” It was written by her friend Marlee Grace who is from our city, and I have never felt more convinced that everyone needs to read a book before. I got through over half the book already and I am hooked on her words. It goes into even greater detail about technology dependence and emotional detoxing, and that work isn’t just what is involved in your job. It was like fate that I went there and was recommended this book. I went through my phone and stripped it to the bare essentials. Eliminated over half my apps and dwindled down my contacts. I am going to continue to check off my hobby list, focus less on technology, and focus more on myself.

I have a lot going for me when it comes to work and that area has always been great, now it is time to enhance my mind body and spirit. Only then can I revive and enhance my relationships with other people.

#self love #self care #self help #self improvement #self #psychology

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katsukiskatsudon · 7 years

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VICTUURI FICRECS

last updated: 2017-01-30

I’ve read a SHITTON so here we go,,, hope u like it

Will probably be updated semi-regularly as I continue to delve into the ao3 tag.

MULTI-CHAPTER

Maelstrom

by feelslikefire, 43682, time-loop!au

“Victor Nikiforov is poised to win gold in his fifth consecutive Grand Prix Final. He has the world at his feet, is unparalleled in the sport--right up until a snowstorm blows into Sochi, and he finds himself repeating the same day over and over and over. He stumbles over Yuuri Katsuki, and everything changes.”

I absolutely adore this one. There is a quiet and mature tone to it (even though it’s started off by a weird witch lecturing Victor). And the decriptions are so good it felt as though I was there with them. I read the first paragraph and I knew that this was going to be good.

Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches

by Reiya : wip, 126945 , rivals!au

“Hatred and love are two sides of the same coin and even though everything changes, some things are still meant to be.”

Already a fandom classic, this is a monster of a fic that really handles it’s characters with love. Nothing feels unmotivated and the descriptions are so good it’s crazy. The rivalry is handled beautifully and it exceeded my expectations by a large margin. Emotions done right and very engaging(!). Worth a long and rewarding read.

Constellations (Things You Left Unsaid)

by DasWarSchonKaputt : wip, 22346, role-reversal!au, college!au

“What is Katsuki Yuuri’s greatest asset when competing? If you ask the media, they’ll tell you it’s his flair for artistry, something that shines through in his earnest, winning performances. If you ask Yuuri, he’ll tell you that it’s his coach, Celestino, and the answer will sound as fake as it is.

The truth, though, is something that Yuuri has always known. He wouldn’t be half the skater he is without his prescription for anti-anxiety medication.”

Victor as a 18-year old soon-to-be senior debutant and a master of seduction is right up my lane. Add the long hair and the unwillingness to conform to gender norms and you have perfection. Loving the articles in this fic and use of chats and social media. Cozy college au.

Are you a library book? Because I can’t stop checking you out.

by AriWrote : wip, 8183, bookstore!au

“Yuuri works at his family’s bookstore. Viktor is his favorite author. Somehow he doesn’t realize the cute stranger making eyes at in him in the self-help book section is his idol. Yuri just really wants a break.”

Just as cute and light-hearted as it seems. Phichit is an absolute darling in this and I’ve fallen so hard for Yuuri as a bookworm. Reading this was like the fic equivalent to sipping a pina colada at the beach. Like taking a vacation. Truly lovely.

SkateSquad™ groupchat

by stxmph : wip, 47122 , au

“pikachit added katsukidon, vitya, RussianTiger, Leo♫, and (gay)uanghong to the chat.

pikachit renamed the conversation “ SkateSquad™ ” (groupchat log of the skate squad)”

This fic is (almost) entirely in the style of a groupchat. It’s messy, the author is overly self indulgent and it’s often kind of inconsistent but at times so brilliantly funny it makes the flaws pale in comparison. I’ve been up laughing late at night just because I couldn’t stop reading.

I’ll Give You My Heart

by Aliis : wip, 14009, soulmate!au

“In a world where people’s hearts are displayed on their chests, broadcasting to everyone if you’re looking for your other half or you’ve found them, Victor Nikiforov was a bit of a rock star– he’s twenty seven years old and his heart is still perfectly whole.”

In a fragmented and poetic way this story is heartaching. Heartbreaking even. It follows the canon storyline somewhat (Victor is Yuuris coach etc) within this very interesting take on soulmates. One of the first fics I subscribed to on aou, which says something, doesn’t it? Over all wonderful and it’s definitely one of my favourites.

when the ice melts in the snow (that's when you'll love me)

by lilithiumwords : wip, 47179, demon!au

“Katsuki Yuuri is the worst incubus in the Underworld. Viktor Nikiforov is his human target.”

Yuuri is a demi-sexual sex demon and have never really felt desire until he gets assigned the human (or is he...) Viktor. (But don’t expect too much explicit sex. We’re seven chapters in and they still haven’t had sex yet). It works. Really well, actually. So well I stayed up way to late because I felt I needed more. My headcanon is that Yuuri is somewhere on the ace scale and I really enjoy when I find someone with the same idea?

(offer me) that Deathless Death

by melonbug : wip, 15580, curse!au

“It was the curse he and his family were fated to: Death would come for him the moment he turned eighteen, and he could only hope the flimsy wards passed down through the generations would protect him. But Death always won eventually, Death would snatch him up as he had all of his ancestors.

But somehow he wasn't what Yuuri had expected. He was a constant presence in his life, barely there. A vigilant spectator to his burgeoning skating career, a gray haired man with a soft expression who found him again and again, waiting for him to let his guard down, but becoming something more, over time.

"Don't be careless," his sister told him, but they were all careless, in the end.”

In which Yuuri learns to live with Death over his shoulder. I love the premise and its wonderfully executed. It feels ancient it feels real and the descriptions is sometimes so wellwritten its absolutely crazy.

Strawberry Bubblegum

by rightofpostponement : wip, 20455, soulmate!au, (semi)canon compliant

“Smile, skate, win. Wash, rinse, repeat. It grew so mundane, after a while. Years and years of being at the top inevitably soured the view, no matter how beautiful. Victor was tired; tired of trying to surprise people, tired of living without love, and tired of making history without anyone to share it with. It takes one night, one dance, and 16 flutes of champagne for Victor's life to be flipped on its head.”

Cuties! Lovelies! This is basically a collection of sweet, amazing, wonderful romcom cliches. They have a playful pillowfight (that grows intense u kno what i mean), Hiroko embarrases Yuuri with baby pictures. Heck, they even go go disney world! Toothrotting.

Looking for Courage

by icterine : 17035, soulmate!au, college!au

“Victor’s soul rejoices with their meeting. A fleeting attempt to steady a drunken stranger sets his heart afire. It’s all he’s ever dared to wish for. (Yuuri meets his soulmate and forgets.)”

Just as the author says, “there can never be too many soulmate aus…”. Especially if they’re all as well written as this one. The characterization in this is absolutely wonderful. The clueless Yuuri, the hopeless romantic Victor. The pacing is great and I love love love Chris (and Phichit) in this one!

a great desire to love

by lily_winterwood, 21724, body swap!au

“For some strange, inexplicable, fantastic reason, Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov are trading places.

Kimi no Na wa AU.”

I went into this fic having no idea what kimi no na wa even was and boy am I glad I did. I finished this in record time. Intriguing, exciting, action-packed.

The Courtesan

by haganenoheichou : wip, 25,448, courtesan!au, dystopia!au

“Viktor is the most popular Courtesan in Hasetsu House. He is beautiful, he is graceful, he is everything Yuuri has always wanted to be. Except Yuuri is an Untouchable virgin at the age of twenty-three and a universe-class klutz. What happens when Viktor takes an interest?”

This authors worldbuilding is really freaking cool! Some influences from things like ‘Memoirs of a Geisha’ mixed with a dystopian future such as ‘the Hunger Games’ (the civilians clothing and luxiurious customs) with a sci-fi setting. If you, like me, are a sucker for stuff like this (starcrossed lovers with talk of galaxies) it’s pretty awesome.

ONE SHOTS

i have my body (and you have yours)

by astoryaboutwar : 8147, soulmate!au

“Yuuri overflows with the weight of things that have been said, trembles with what remains.Their shared zeroes flicker in time, the early morning light muting the red glow to faint numbers. In the amber dawn, an idol is only just a man.

(Or: the Soulmate Timers AU where things happen out of order, secrets are kept, revelations are had, and they arrive where they need to be in the end.)”

I remember being absolutely smitten when I first read this and I still see why I described it as “words strung together to create a fucking symphony”. It’s poetic, heartbreaking, beautiful.

the lounge

by fan_nerd :13453, therapy!au

“Dr. Yuuri Katsuki is a psychiatric therapist in Detroit who specializes in alcoholism. The last person he expects to see in his chair is retired figure skater Victor Nikiforov, whom he used to idolize.

Victor is a very different man than the one who’d been subject to the constant flashes of cameras in the prime of his life. He is broken, and so terribly human.

But then, so is Yuuri.”

Strange concept maybe but executed skillfully. Cute story about two lost, middleaged, men who find eachother, Cameo by my favourite mom Yuuko as a sweet tea-drinking 40-year old.

cover story

by fan_nerd : 8210, roommates!au

“Yuuri stares down at the person standing in the doorway. The stranger hisses, “Who do you think you are, anyways?”

Quickly, before he can really think about it, Yuuri responds, “I’m Victor’s boyfriend.”

It’s a lie, but the words feel good in his mouth, and for some reason, he doesn’t want to take them back.”

Yuuri is a workaholic that needs a place to stay. Victor is the playboy looking for a roommate. The relationship is painfully gradual in this but when they do get together, oh, is it sweet.

leave the banner there

by sixpences : 2904, canon compliant

“"Victor has a crush- a full-blown, goofy-daydreaming, struggling-to-sleep-at-night crush.“

Victor pines, entertains his rinkmates, and wonders what the heck to do with himself.”

Short and sweet read. Pining Victor and fun russian rinkmates. I think I really needed Victors pov post-banquet and this helped me fill the gaps.

#yoi ficrecs #yoi fanfiction #yuri on ice fanfic #victuuri fic #victuuri ficrecs #victuuri #my post #sry for the many tags pals i just want to contribute #yuri on ice

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kaylabormann53-blog · 6 years

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