#but like i am not saying i like the show so dont talk bad about it. i am saying theres lots to say about the show

[drdemonprince]

Can you offer any (academic) writing advice for Autistics and ADHDers? You clearly write a lot and write very well and very clearly, so some insight into your process would be great. Personally, I tend to struggle with over explaining or over citing (cause I am always getting misunderstood) and that I get very fixated on not misrepresenting what my sources are saying to avoid feeling like I'm lying. All this is time consuming and makes it hard to say what I really want to say. Thanks!

Hi there! I've written an essay about a lot of this, here is the free link to read it on Medium:

Much of my writing process is inspired by the book How to Write a Lot by Paul Silvia, and it is specifically tailored to academics. The advice applies to people who write popular nonfiction or fiction just as easily, however. And he does have advice relevant to the self-editing and self-doubt you describe feeling.

The full piece gets into this more, but here are some of the stand-out tips:

Schedule a regular time to write every week and show up no matter whether you are feeling it or not.

Throw out all your magical thinking about what you "need" to be able to write. You don't need the perfect workspace, divine inspiration, the right pen, the right playlist. You just need to show up to write regularly, and do it

Editing, outlining, working with research notes, and drafting all count as "writing." Don't expect your initial drafts to be perfect or to equate writing only with getting new words on the page.

Try writing in public spaces to help get yourself in the mindset of explaining a concept to someone with a different frame of reference and type of expertise than you. Writing in a cafe or a public library can force you think and write in a more accessible way. (alternatively, you can pretend you are explaining the concept to a specific person in your life who you respect but who doesnt have all the same reference points as you -- sometimes this is called the "Grandma Test". Explain something like you are talking to your grandma.)

In addition to all this, I would add that you should read a lot of writing, both good and bad, especially work that isn't dry and academic. If all you read is journal articles, you'll write a journal article -- and most of those are hell to read, even for academics. read fiction. read bad wattsapp shipping. read substacks. read newspapers. read indulgent personal nonfiction in the cut or whatever. read reddit posts. notice what works and what doesn't. develop an ear.

and then write a lot! it took me 15 years to get good enough for anything i wrote to get noticed. you can expect to take many years to get comfortable developing your own voice, too. i dont know how far along you are, but even when you've made tremendous progress you'll only notice your flaws and feel the most turgid brain foggy moments. that doesn't mean you're failing.

also, to some extent you can embrace your citation-dense, precise manner of self-expression. we are living in a moment of maximalism and indulgent, long creative works. it's the decade of the 5 hour youtube essay and the 2 hour album. my 5,000 word essays do better than my 2,000 word ones. you should strip down unnecessary tangents and trust yourself and your reader a little more probably, but ive found that the more blatantly autistic and indulgent my writing gets the more the right people like it. a writer's flaws and their distinctive voice are kinda hard to separate. you're not for everyone!

good luck!

[entroart]

Hi there, just a few things

Hi, I'm an artist, and I'm plural too :3. Or at least, I think I am? It's complicated. There's a lot of denial all the time.

You don't have to say anything that you don't want to of course, and answer in as much or as little detail as you'd like to.

So my questions are like.

1) How has being plural affected your art journey?

Im asking this because I have really bad executive dysfunction, and find it extremely hard to actually do what I want to do, meaning not much art practise, but I know that my other alters don't have it as badly.

2) How is your system communication? How did you make it better if its good.

Our communication is very.... poor. There's 3 definite alters, including me, and maybe a couple more, but I never hear about them so idk. Either way, even between just the three of us, I almost never hear anything from the other two. Apparently they have better communication between each other, but idk how true that is cus I can't really ask them.

3) Can you visualise things? I have aphantasia, and it makes me need a lot more references for when I am occasionally able to bring myself to draw. I'm interested to know how it works without that inhibition.

Thank you very much for reading, I love your art and wish all of you the best. <3

Question Barrage!! 1. Well to be fair is mostly everyone doing their thing. Bridget is trying to learn how to art to help me so thats nice (lemme show her progress)

Other alters also draw, for example Abyss that tends to do fruits

Or one of our littles Chain that did art yesterday

So each alter different art and stuff, I think thats how I can answer that question. 2. Our communication is alright, we can talk to each other easily and dont need to write for that, so in that regards fine 3. Yes, we can see a 3D image and rotate it (shit is frustrating cuz then not being able to properly draw makes me feel horrible)

#transgender #lgbtq #art #doodle #original art #disabled artist #plural system

[starrbitez]

Why Morty Smith is “like a dog” (pun unintended)

Okay so i saw a post (I’ll link it in comments!) that was talking about how Rick is more like a dog than Morty, and I definitely agree that Rick is similar to a dog too, I am going to discuss my personal opinions on Morty’s dog-like symbolism, parallels with snuffles/snowball, and my own ideas for the dog analogy. It begins below the cut :3

Firstly, there are some parallels between Morty and his former fluffy companion I think are important and very interesting !

One example, Morty is treated very similarly by Rick to the way Jerry treats Snowball. See; Rick pushing Morty down the stairs, Jerry rubbing snowball’s face in his pee. Both unnecessary punishments or just entirely unnecessary.

Morty is also threatened emptily a lot, in the way that an owner might threaten their dog when they do something bad, ie. “we’ll take you back to the shelter or replace you if you dont stop peeing on the rug,” and the replaceable nature that abusive pet owners exemplify towards their dogs is the exact same treatment Morty gets, with the you’re replaceable almost ‘I’ll take you back to the shelter’ threats Rick gives.

Morty is treated like a dog constantly, and while all Morty’s are on some level imo, Pmorty is the most. When Rick takes the voucher for a free replacement Morty — it’s like getting a discount on a rescue dog or picking up a stray when your dog dies.

Then, morty is talked down to like a dog, just like how Jerry talks to snowball.

Morty: whats wrong?

Jerry: your idiot dog! …. Don’t praise him Morty, he peed on the carpet! Bad dog, bad!

Rick: youre a perfect suit of impenetrable armor, Morty! because you’re as dumb as I am smart!

And then,

Morty: look rick, there’s a bunch of people strapped to that building!

Rick: Not people morty. Mortys.

At this point in the show (s1e10) Rick doesn’t even consider Mortys to be human, and he values Morty about the same amount that Jerry valued snowball — little to nothing, simply valued to feel superior over something.

I also think that in Rest and Ricklaxation, healthy morty and toxic morty are two opposite and extreme sides of the spectrum of dog-like behavior. While normal morty is loyal to a fault, he still his has own morals and enough personal confidence to argue with rick and engage in adventures. There’s a clear divide in his character in many episodes where he see his more violent tendencies, and in this episode you can see a split between his more “feral” side and his “domesticated” side. Healthy Morty is a sort of lone-wolf, he believes that health is being able to survive on your own, be strong and completely confident to an almost selfish and narcissistic point, and he desires to be a leader. Toxic Morty sees himself as weak, and he says that he just wants to die. He feels like the runt of the litter, left behind and clinging to the first person that offers him protection — rick. When combined, morty is somewhere in the middle, but the separate parts are opposite sides of dog-like behavior.

OKAY now im going to talk abt my SNOWBALL PARALLELS a bit more….

When snowball realizes how he is being treated, on some level gaining sentience, he starts to develop his intelligence, get stronger, more independent, rebel against the people who treated him like shit and took advantage of him. Snowball realizes how he is being treated and he does everything he can to prove he is intelligent, but out of his care and loyalty to morty, he leaves because he wants morty to live and be happy !!! Sound familiar?

Yes it is the exact same track as Morty’s character development.In season 3 episode 7 after the dinner with evil morty, morty realizes he is being manipulated, that he is replaceable, that he is just someones property. He gains ‘sentience’ or the conciousness of his free will ? Kinda. And from here on we see Morty’s attitude change significantly, asserting himself over rick often in season 4. Morty joins in on the intro, he leaves rick to die, he focuses on himself, he becomes more violent and more in control of his own decisions. In season 4 we see him become independent from ricks control, but he is still loyal and wants rick to be happy, the same loyalty snowball had to the one person who treated him right.

Snowball had an attachment to morty because morty was the only one to treat him well.

Morty has an attachment to rick because rick is the only one who gives him praise, albeit irregularly. He gets attention from rick. Morty is continuously in vulnerable or weaker positions to those around him, and i believe it is symbolism !! I think its even in subtle ways like when rick will pat morty on the head, call him ‘buddy’, rick even outright compares morty to a dog with his unwavering loyalty. Which — just like a dog — he was bred for.

I think the acknowledgement of morty being similar to a dog in his loyalty, his obedience, but also in his parallels to snowball align well with the citadel plot of Mortys being bred for forgiveness. Only when the Mortys. Become aware of their treatment and how they could be better, they start to change into a more violent/feral/intelligent/confident form, depending on the Morty. Intelligence seen in evil morty and c-137, feral behavior in the mutated morty’s on the citadel who are aware of their position And the corruption around them.

I think we are in track for morty to become more and more of an independent kid, following in the footsteps of snowball and developing his intelligence, confidence, ad strength until he will possibly leave or find independence from his codependency on rick, just like snowball was able to escape his codependency on humanity in general. (Interesting to think abt how Beth and Jerry have a codependent marriage and rick and morty have a codependent partnership… v interesting)

But yes . These are my thoughts on morty smith c-137 and the general theme of Mortys being a dog. For more info read my fic, like a dog. Jkjkjk B)

Pls pls tell me ur opinions on this !!

#rick and morty #rick n morty #morty smith #morty #rnm #rick sanchez #evil morty #toxic morty #rick and morty analysis #analysis #i was going to do my homework but i got distracted and spent like 45 minutes on this #anyway. morty dog #fanfic #meow !

[carefulfears]

speaking of kelly's atlantic piece, this quote:

But if the show sometimes failed to give its victims enough agency, it was also startlingly aware of how powerful institutions can do the same, denying marginalized people the right to trust their own experiences, much less speak out about them.

is so much of what i'm very very attached to in the series as a survivor, i think...media can often be utopian, in a way? even if the journey is honest, the ending is structured as a goal society, something to aspire to. but personally, what i crave, is something that calls it what it is. something that shows the darker side of living with trauma.

it's kristin in 3, talking about her father beating her as child, and then mentioning that her boyfriend beats her too. the way she laughs and says, "i guess that's the way it works sometimes," while mulder looks away. her tears as she tastes her own blood one last time before sacrificing herself to escape her cycle. mulder weeping over lucy's body in oubliette, but understanding that maybe it was freedom, to her. even 17 years later, "the only way she could forget." (also, how mean lucy is!! the way she is so uninterested in using what happened to her for the sake of Helping Others!! how brutally she wears her trauma on her sleeve!! she's cared for anyway, she's mourned anyway.)

in monday, pam is trapped in her partner's deadly decisions, the only way to stop the destruction is to throw herself in front of it. in fallen angel, a young mother exclaims to scully that she can't "afford the truth," to speak out would be to lose her fragile standing, her ability to feed her child. for abductees, if you're a woman, to question what happened to you is to die. the "miracle cure" is actually just replacing your violation in the back of your neck, to surrender.

maybe it's bleak but it's honest, it's an acknowledgement, in a world where people don't want to acknowledge the long-term affects or brutality of suffering.

#dont mind me im hungover and miserable and went off my meds #txf.txt #live-blogging my descent #this is very much just my own personal relationship to it etc etc #but i do really love it and am very affected by it #i think it just makes me feel really really really crazy when everything focuses on something very positive and forced #like to make others feel better #but i find it so refreshing and oddly comforting when something says...no it's really bad. and it's okay to feel that it's really bad. #even inadvertently as i'm sure it is on txf as people love to remind me every time i talk about literally anything on this show #but i don't care if it was on purpose or not it's mine now and it's important to me!! anyway #also ik the quote cited was referencing marginalization on a larger scale and institutions it just reminds me of this sense of like #...this is how it is... #like i love that about this show. this is how it is. this is how the world is. look at it.

[boxwinebaddie]

EVIILLL (i love that) BUT do they still make out WAYYYY longer then needed even if they're broken up?

oh, Certainly, darling. ;)

here’s the reference post for context.

and actually, that whole music video scene/side plot lives so rent free in my head, that i…started writing it out as a little mini para? i just miss writing stuff and wanted to do something fun and dramatic and spicy with legit crazy amounts of emotional/sexual tension in it.

because…oooough my god, i just know jersey was annoying and extra as FUCK that whole time. which, while diabolical, is also a very bold move bc stan was not speaking to him, like, At All and had no intentions to but kyle, conversely was extremely desperate speak to him so…he saw his opportunity and he took it, baby!

my man was Working! It! every angle, throwing his head back, his jawline could cut glass, his hair was so luxurious i bet it smelled so good, his like billowy tunic thing was falling over his shoulder, which has so many freckles on it…all while he was winking and waving his pretty long ass fingers at stan, smiling evilly.

— and when kyle does the things he did to him as raven back to him, it’s so funny to me because stan had to be blackout drunk and try really hard to exert that level of sex appeal as the biggest boyfailure on planet earth, but jersey quite literally is just That Bitch, does not need to try at all, can do it ten times better and it’s one hundred times more effective on ravenstan —

who is probably in hair in makeup, gripping the table so hard, trying to be unbothered when he’s SO bothered, hot and otherwise, shaking so much the hair and makeup team are like “you need to stay still.”

like stay still???? STAY STILL??? bitch! could you stay still if literally your ex super best boyfriend and the hottest person on planet earth is trying to eye!fuck! you! during the shoot for YOUR MUSIC VIDEO??? which i know that was extra stressful bc it was stan’s music video so it was his concept so he designed his own hell and built it around kyle and wanting to see kyle do it, so he literally played himself, rip bestie.

a mess…a MEEESSS.

and after all that happens which, whEw! a lot was happening, it was Very Ungentlemanly And Depraved, there were a lot of hands…in places that polite young man’s hands should not be…but when they pulled off i Swear kyle was smirking lookin sooo smug and satisfied, absolutely shameless, abt to try and go in for another one like literally tucking stan’s hair behind his ear, like skating his nail down his jaw line slowly and stan was SEETHING. i mean mad mad MAD!!! and stan never gets mad. like he stormed the hell out of there slammed the door And Everything before screaming into his hands.

free ravenstan, stop the violence jersey!!! you know my man is a pacifist and can’t fight back. :/

p.s. pls note that ravenstan looks like a slutty punk rock crimson dawn virgin sacrifice version of victor van dort in corpse bride but like more red than blue bc of raven stans angst divorce hair…do we…do we see the vision? there’s a vision and in it stan looks extremely pretty, wide eyed, easily corrupted & biteable. <3

#oh my god literally this entire thing is a mess #like the fact that ravenstan probably had an extremely vivid sexually charged dream about this #was like hm what if i make it a music video and pretend like its beautiful artistry when i really just want to see kyle #dressed like a sexy sexy vampire and do bad things to me #LKHDLKHSHSLSKHS JAIIIILLLLL #but like then takes literally the fattest l on planet earth bc he literally built his own hell like he fucked up so badly #he did not think kyle was gonna show he thought he was gonna cancel like literally stan wanted to call in sick but its HIS MV??? #and jimmy and kenny are like are you okay can you do this and hes like duh yeah ofc im a professional i dont even car-- #literally walks into jERSEY and who just winks and says Watch Where Ya Flyin’ Angel ;) HDSLKS HE WANTED TO DIEEE #AAAA WATCH WHERE UR FLYING ANGEL IS SOOO SICK OF HIM LIKE I AM IN SHOCK I WOULD FALL TO MY KNEES #LIKE KYLE PLEASE STOP RIZZING HIM HES SO WEAK HE WAS BREATHING SO HEAVILY JIMMY WAS PATTING HIM ON THE BACK #WITH HIS CRUTCH LIKE THERE THERE BUDDY KSHDLKDS #amazing i...am gonna write it i want to laugh and cry #jersey kyle is too good at this like hes so powerful #they looked good i know they looked good anyways do we see the vision are we obsessed i want the copy of the mv #but like the xxx directors cut where stan and kyle makeout for like several minutes and knock everything over #thank you for coming to my ted talk #also i wrote this ask meme bc i was just talking to rp about it and i literally got so unhinged help akshdlksad

[dashiellqvverty]

i do think the amount of comparisons between black sails and ofmd - both favorable and unfavorable tbh - is a little out of hand lmao like even before the flint vs stede poll there was a lot of it and its like. they are completely different shows with completely different goals. i just saw someone call ofmd a "black sails ripoff" and honestly what the fuck are you talking about. is black sails a pirates of the caribbean ripoff?? is there only allowed to be one television show about pirates and everything else is a copy?? or is it just the fact that there are also gay characters in it? im just like there are PLENTY of real and good criticisms why does it always come back to this. let them exist separately

#if this post gets too many notes i’m deleting it. it’s not an ofmd stan post please don’t ignore the last bit #i do not want the hardcore stans getting ahold of this and then ppl interpreting ME as one 😬 #the post thats going around thats like calling it 'a comedic version of black sails' you mean a comedy about pirates???? #yeah they use the same characters bc they are...... real pirates........ #like i know (or have to assume) its not 100% literal and maybe i am being autistic about this but i still just get. tired of it. #AND IM NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD LIKE IT OR NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT IT OR NOT MAKE FUN OF IT #shit on it and the fanbase to your hearts content but this just gets on my nerves like. idk man #then on the flip side there were ppl saying if you liked ofmd you should watch black sails!!! which like. idk. #ofc i would rec black sails to anyone bc its fantastic. but i wouldnt rec a gritty drama to someone based solely #on the fact that they enjoyed a comedy. #full disclosure i am an ofmd enjoyer! i love taika and had been excited about the project for a long time. i dont 'participate in fandom' #bc i do not like The Fandom and i havent been all that enthusiastic about the show since it was actively on/had just aired #but like i am not saying i like the show so dont talk bad about it. i am saying theres lots to say about the show #so why do we always make it about black sails #r.txt #ofmd #for ppls blacklists lmao

[cinnamon-notes]

i have been ghosting my friends for idk a month??? and they have been doing the same??? except for when we meet in a workplace cuz somehow our jobs decided to cross over :)

#feeling so bad about it but like i cant bring myself to interact with people right now but i am also constantly sad because i dont interact #with anyone out of work :/ but working makes me socially exhausted & tbh all i wanna do is be depressed with my books & my movies &my tunes #but i also crave affection like i realize i have zero social life and i sometimes schedule some hangout with my friends but it's almost #become like idk a task? something i look at through work eyes. like- i arrange our hangouts the way i arrange work meetings. it's so sad. #i know it is. but still- i cant help it. through all my life ive been missing having a lifelong friend who knows me like the back of their #hands and i know like the back of mine. never had it. cant cry over that. it's passed. i cant invent lifelong friendships that never existed #and i gotta make peace with that. plus- what am i complaining about if im just incapable of keeping any friend for longer than a month??? #after the first month- maybe the first couple of months- it all gets boring and dont get me wrong i really love my friends but somehow they #lose interest in me and i lose interest in them and we become just people who know each other and occasionally hang out but like- i've never #had a friend who's there for me when things happen in my life. i've always had friends to tell things to afterwards. like- i know i cant #really pick up the phone and say “hey. im having a bad time. can we take a walk? talk on the phone? can you tell me about your day? can you #just be here for me?“ and i cant even idk just randomly pop up with a ”oh my god i hate him i hate him i hate him it's a whole montague vs #capulet but if romeo and juliet never existed kind of hatred!!“ i just cant vent right away. ive always thought that that's my problem. #and maybe it is. but still- how's come they can vent to me? im always there right away. i do love my people and i show up for them. #sometimes my depression makes it soooo difficult to hang out constantly but if there's one thing that cannot be said about mw is that i dont #care. cuz i do. and maybe that's the problem #and maybe it's just easier for me to care than let others care? idk? but then again- i did try to open up. i did try to let them care. i did #try everything by the book & off the book but still- idk it's always just an “im sorry” never an “i care so much to say more than im sorry” #and yeah it's my problem cuz i am not a constant person im not that steady in what i do. i still dont know if it's because i havent found #yet the people worth doing it or if i am just traumatized (my ex is knocking on this door lol) but- idk it makes me extremely sad!!! #and ive rambled on way too much but i jusg needed to let some things out of my mind cuz i cant understand whats wrong with me and why i #crave true friendships although im hella scared of and bored of and unwilling to nurturing one :) #cinnamon diary

[xxlethal-lunaxx]

If anyone relates to this even just a little bit, then I'm so sorry.

#• luna lavinchi speaking • #living with cptsd #cptsd vent #complex ptsd #diet culture trauma #monsters inside me #toxic health culture #ex vegitarian/vegan #emotional flashbacks #health documentaries #dark side of veganism #i should have never been forced to watch these as a child..my mind wasn't ready to understand the information nor tell what was real or not #-i cant try sushi or even think about fish without feeling physically sick and dizzy. i haven't had McDonald's since i was like 6ish years- #-old..i never wanted to share this information but i need to vent. I feel embarrassed and rude for not liking a food chain that most of the #-population does. Smelling or seeing McDonald's makes me wanna puke so bad because of everything those documentaries would say. #I will never be able to eat McDonald's in my life because of how sick and terrified i feel when thinking about the food even the drinks- #-scare the shit out of me. I'm so pissed that I'm triggered. All of the sudden i smell something in the house that smells like McDonald's- #-then the memories come flooding back and i feel like puking so back so i cant even eat dinner. i know this may seem stupid but i am- #-genuinly scared. Im tired of this shit and tired of feeling alone in this. #(anyway sorry. if you read my vent then i appreciate you) #tw food talk #tw diet culture #tw vent in tags #(dont even get me started on parasites cause thats a whole fucking trauma itself. damn it i hate it all. i hate it so much) #(also note: my therapist made me feel so validated weeks ago when i told her during my session that i was traumatized by monsters inside me- #-she literally knew the name of the show before i could even say its name. and she said she also cant watch it and that she saw it as an- #-adult who doesn't have ocd. so she told me she can't even imagine how terrified i was to watch it as a child who was developing ocd.- #-therapist W)

[ouchhq]

i think im gonna ask my therapist to get me an appointment with the private psychiatrist she suggested

#yesterday was kind of the wake up call #for a few days ive been feeling very little… still feeling bad but like sort of numb and i keep questioning wheter i actually need meds or #not which .. in any case i will not decide but a specialist will but anyways #and i was looking through book fairs and how to get appointments with publishers to show ur portfolio and just generally feeling like the #most incompetent person ever and also like i will never get anywhere because my style isn’t exactly what u see in most illustrated books #95% of which are childrens books…… and those styles are just different #anyway i digress #my grandma called and she was like what are u doing and i told her how stressed i was and i just started crying mid-sentence and i told her #i dont know where to bang my head anymore its too difficult and confusing and i feel like im just not good enough and im tired of trying to #keep it together.. she knows im not well mentally #like i was SOBBING #and she was like u shouldnt think like that u have to be patient keep trying and contact those publishers and whatever #and i get that she was trying to motivate me but i just told her flat out i. am. unwell. i dont know what to do anymore with this brain #and i asked her to please not tell me how i should think because i cant #and i know my grandad was there with her because he always is and he heard and like an hour later he came to my house to pick something up #and he was like ‘earlier i heard things i dont like’ aka me being depressed out of my mind #and then he said ‘we should talk about it sometime’ and proceeded to completely change the subject to his gums problem because he was going #to the dentist….ok #and the funny thing is things like this where people acknowledge that im struggling but proceed to say nothing about it keep happening #like i have a friend that i talk to very often and we say p much everything to each other but now shes working so she takes weeks to reply #and i told her i was doing VERY bad and of course she has her problems too… and she hasn’t replied to me in like three weeks or so #and she sent a text basically saying im dorry i havent replied yet i want to have time to do it well and hear how youre doing but hear this! #and proceeded to tell me stuff about her work and whatever… which is fine but dont tell me u care about how i am if u cant even check in #when u do have time because clearly u can send texts… #anyways im rambling good morning i already cried and its not even 9 great !!

[artemisbarnowl]

Having a totally normal one* after waking from a dream where I just relive life with my ex. It was so normal and fine and we did things such as lay around in bed and make plans for the day, go to the Korean supermarket on the corner, go to a friend's house together.

#*if it were in the evening i would be drinking enough to finally drink dial and just fucking ASK all the questions i am making up answers to #what did you want? what do you want now?? honestly could you find it in your heart to hate me and never wanna see me again? #because me saying 'i don't think we should talk for a while' and you saying 'id really like to be friends' are obviously Not It #omg im going to spend my birthday alone for the first time....nearly ever and im just going to go to work and be miserable #i havent been able to stop chewing on the idea of me visiting when i head down to see the fam for christmases #i want him to want me back sooooo bad!!!! #i still think about that dream where i made him pasta #would i take him back? depends on what he said #as much as im pathetic im not an idiot and id need clear evidence to show that he 1. knows what he wants (involving me) and #2. is going to ask for it #because i don't think i ever heard him say a single thing about what he wanted for our future #never said 'hey i want to see you when are you free for me to come up?' #is probably fucking dating now anyway and doesnt WANT me to remember him on new years (our best guess anniversary) #or ask to call because i want to ask questions that will be hard to answer #when all ive ever wanted is the TRUTH #not the strategic answer just the gods honest truth #and i suspect that is 'i dont want to date you i havent for a while i didnt know how to stop or what i wanted instead' #and then i could go home break every object in ny house and move on #try a dating app ot something else to attempt to look forward instead of back #so as you can see -totally normal one

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Alright everyone STOP sending prompts so that she can work through the ones she has already 🙄

(this is a joke)

#no writing #I have dropped into a deep depression. very serious stuff. watching the first got seasons make me sad. this tv show couldve been the best. #it couldve changed the world and in certain aspects it did #but no. d&d wanted to work on their star wars show or whatever and the long fucking night was reduced to one episode #i watch people talk about the long night in s1 and then I think oh yeah this plot actually had value. the characters were actually scared #and then i watch dany being assulted and i think how she was betrayed by her lover in a moment of intimacy and i am like #oh yeah thats what a great comment a vicitm of abuse dies because she trusts the man she loves #also her transformation into super hitler is ridiculous. tHe BeLls made her mad? what the actual fuck? the bells? seriously? #so targaryans are seriously just a flip of a coin huh? I am the dumb one huh??? thats what youre showing me. you point at the screen and say #HA Cat youre a fool! you rooted for her! you thought she was good! #you thought plot lines and character development actually means something? HA how foolish Cat how dumb you are! #Jamie Lannister? learning about how to care for others? WRONG back to cercei!!! #you think tyrion is smart? WRONG lets put the kids and women in the crypts full of dead people when the bad guy creates zombies #you think dany is actually going to stick to the values shes gotten through her character arc? CAT DONT YOU GET IT? YOURE DUMB YOURE STUPID #JONS HERITAGE DOESNT MATTER #DONT YOU GET IT CAT? EDDARD STARK DIED FOR NOTHING! #ISNT THAT WHAT YOU WANTED? ISNT THAT CINEMA? THE LONG NIGHT? HM? BATTLE OF WINTERFELL? HM? ISNT THAT WHAT YOU WANTED? #no. d&d. this is not what i wanted. in fact. i hate you for ruining a clever show. perhaps the cleverest show on this planet. #i love house of the dragon. but its simply not the same. #this makes me want to quit consuming media #and then i watch chernobyl and i am like. hm. maybe there is hope for cinema and tv #just maybe there is hope for writing. maybe quality is more important than quantity

[daughterofsarenrae]

fajsdlkfjslkfjsdlkfj my dad is upset with my bc he just discovered kill la kill and i told him i watched it in like high school and apparently i should've recommended it to him back then

#in hindsight yeah he loves satire #but at the time i was like. oh my god im going to get in trouble bc of the fanservice in this show JLKFJLKDJF #LISTEN. my dad is a weeb. he cannot help this. #anyways congrats to him for making me think about klk for the first time in YEARS #also for fucking calling me out for having been obsessed with ryuko #like yeah she DOES fit into my favorite genre of character. u know me so well #man it is an experience being the age i am now and talking to my dad. last time we talked on the phone he dropped the f bomb #and i was like. HOLY SHIT am i like. allowed to curse around u now. have i officially grown out of not being allowed to say Bad Words. #bc hoo boy brace urself <3 #anyways i love my dad. i miss him. i am sosososososossososo excited and impatient for the (HOPEFUL. FINGERS CROSSED) trip we might take soo #im not going to say where bc i dont want to jinx it. but oh my god if it happens i am literally NEVER going to shut up about it #ANYWAYS #bel speaks #happiest day of my dad's life was me starting to take japanese. so that i could tell him how to say this one line from godzilla #he's obsessed with godzilla. that's his blorbo #now im just ranting about my dad in the tags. post over everyone go home

[artheresy]

I am so tired, deleting the post about the situation just bc it was written in such a way of anger and I don’t want to keep that with me

I’m still very mad not only for the lore but about everything else that has been progressively revealed about this guy

Atp, I am considering doing a funny lil full rewrite of the Xianzhou arc and just pretending that they’re all my ocs since I don’t want to think about all the inconsistencies and mess ups

#the only way the xianzhou luofu and hcq lore can be saved if they don’t actually fully rewrite and fix things #is to go the lazy route and say ‘oh oh but it was just *insert character*’s own biased view aaahhh’ #’please believe us as we use DH to show the truth through dream memories ignore the fact that DF wanting to make a new HE is mention in #JL’s character stories and he upfront to her face talks about what the the Preceptors’ told him’ #’yes yes her CQ only doesnt make sense bc its actually her own pov ignoring all of the things she actually witnessed first person’ #it would be the lazy way out #but atp? i would take it over nothing bc i am honestly tired #and also im so sad and tired of people making this a ship issue #the man is outright misogynistic he outright bashes other hyv writers mocks and insults players and sm stuff #its like too much thats how bad it is #again hope they do something but #who knows #i dont have hope tbh #and im tired so gn

[dog-girl-zezora]

...

#personal #so like ive been thinking about why i have this strange uncaring feeling about family during this vacation #i hate spending time with them i find them annoying and just not enjoyable to be around extended family is like having a customer talk to m #and bc of that i am the most insufferable person to be around. i dont have it in me to care about looking happy or being my best #i just exist i am here i am here with you and thats all it is to me. if i had a choice i would not be here. #they get mad with the way i am they dont like my indifference about everything we do but i am just LIKE that im honest about my feelings #it shows on my face and my voice. but i would never say anything bad outloud. so why does my body language matter anyways #i still think they should be happy im physically with them even if my heart is not so it should be enough... #i dont know when i stopped being happy around them #i think ive been this way for so long that i just have no room to really grow too much #and my friends and partners have a side of me that will never be shown to my family. #i feel two faced. but its not a bad thing #i wouldnt abandon them i respect what theyve done for me #but that doesnt erase the past. #... i understand it more. we have to live with our demons and the ghosts thay haunt us #but learning to not hold on to the hate and dread. not letting it kill you #thats. the hardest. part. because it comes back and it goes and its back and its gone #mmm #sometimes i do wish i could forget. #i would maybe be nicer.

[tiredstressedemotionalmess]

earlier today my administrator pulled me out of class to talk abt how i can "improve my attendance" and i had to tell her. for the THIRD FUCKING TIME NOW that there is NOTHING ELSE I CAN DO TO BE IN SCHOOL MORE OFTEN!!! i already go in AS MUCH AS I FUCKING CAN. i am in there AT LEAST twice a week usually with some sort of headache and i am only missing the worst of the worst days where i am PHYSICALLY UNABLE TO GET OUT OF BED

#ugh watch me show up to school next time i wake up with a migraine #she wants me in school so bad? fine. #she can be the one to deal with it when i puke in the middle of class or collapse in the hallway or something idc anymore #sorry for the rant but like. three fucking times we have had this conversation 😭 #and she keeps saying the same thing 'what can i do to help you succeed' 'what can we do to prevent this' #FOR ONE THING YOU CAN STOP MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY ABOUT SOMETHING I ALREADY FEEL BAD ABT #AND WTF DOES SHE MEAN 'WE'??? WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO??? PAY FOR MY FUCKING NEUROLOGIST APPOINTMENTS? BE MY FUCKING GUEST LADY #the best part is two of the times weve had this conversation she has pulled me OUT OF CLASS TO DO SO #LIKE HELLO???? WHY ARE YOU PULLING ME FROM CLASS TO TELL ME I CANT MISS ANYMORE CLASS?? #I HAVE STUDY HALLS JUST FIND ME THEN?????? OR EMAIL ME?????? OR MAYBE DONT FUCKING TALK TO ME ABT IT AT ALL BC THIS IS NOT. YOUR. PROBLEM. #dear god. its been hours and i am STILL so fucking annoyed #someone remind me to delete this later lmao

[vogelmeister]

thinking about the australian cultural cringe on this sunny sunday hbu

#no but it's kinda true i do actually suffer from cultural cringe but i see how bad it can be for artists from australia #like idk its a big topic but like majority of our tv happens to be reality tv or imports #i actually saw a really good tiktok about how australian tv is stuck in a time warp #i feel like australian music is either indie triple j or x factor winners singles and x factor hasnt aired since 2016 #and international shit has taken over the hottest 100 #it says a lot that one of the few australian things to get impact internationally as of recent is bluey #dont get me wrong im so proud of bluey i love seeing my home country portrayed #but im 22. give me more. #and im not innocent to cultural cringe or alienation either but id love some good australian media that isnt americanised or makes me cring #even with heartbreak high i physically recoiled after realising it was australian #so i need to also work on not being so ashamed of australian stuff myself #and im not doing myself any favours by only listening to dutch music which in turn is a loop bc dutch ppl probs also have cultural cringe #actually they defs do #its an issue here but i defs talked to dutch ppl in nl who were suffering from cultural cringe she is international #hearing australian accents in songs is also a hard one for me. sometimes its cool but i cringe more than find it cool #even watching tina the tina turner musical when roger appeared i went FUCK NO NOT AUSTRALIANS #and the actor there is australian #idk i am rambling now #but like... this is a complex topic bc i know how bad it is for australian culture and locally produced music and shows and that #but like i do it myself #anyways doei