#but its been a difficult couple of months yall lol'

[thisdreamplace]

i keep having these glimpses, of purity, of truth and also cloudedness easily provided by the ego.

i know its a moment of transformation, of rebirth. for a moment all is clear, and i get it. peace flows to me in abundance, love is a thing i am and not a thing i seek. all is well and there's nothing to ask for anymore, nothing to want.

but other times, its a downward spiral and crash landing into every painful story i ever called mine. any hurtful belief i easily accepted back then, when i simply didnt know what i know now. and sometimes its so heavy, i can hardly make the seperation between a story and my true self.

i've learned so much on this journey, experienced such beautiful things. but the truth is, things havent been easy for me lately and i want to be transparent about that. more than anything, i'd like to allow safety and knowledge of the process. knowing these things, doesn't make it an overnight process. and that's okay. i'm saying this for myself, but for everyone else too who feels like they're doing something wrong because they read the posts and they get it, and yet that hasn't stopped the fears or doubts or ego from taking over time to time. let's never pretend the process doesn't exist, because then we'd be denying this life we chose to come here and live and explore, and that just makes everything more painful than ever necessary. it's deattachment from what the ego says things are supposed to be, and just allowing what truly is, beyond all that.

the post i wrote about indifference, i understand it more than ever. that being said, it doesn't mean i am always successful. but even so, i know that's where i want to go back to each time. it makes so much sense, there's nothing to fight, and even more, there's nothing to liberate myself from. i've been sitting with myself, sometimes with binural beats on (i just really like them, no need for them tho) and just sit with everything. not in a fight, not to say "i dont believe in you, go away"... but to simply say "welcome in, your presence literally changes nothing." and sit with that uncomfortable feeling if it arises.

i'm leaving this blog indefinitely, once again. i love reading all of your lovely words, and finding small pockets of inspirations from some of you other lovely bloggers out there. but it's also time for me to turn away again, to find peace in my own life, and come closer to the god within and the love that is infinitely mine, if only i'll allow myself to acknowledge it.

#im actually really emotionally exhausted #and i know that its literally up to me to liberate myself #and i know im being given that opportunity through the pains #but its been a difficult couple of months yall lol'

[russadler]

All That Remains: Chapter Two

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

A look back to happier times and a defining conversation

A/N: Hey lol once again sorry I took so long. This chapter is relatively shortish (?) because it was originally part of the next chapter, but I decided to split it since it was getting long lmao. The next chapter will actually be coming soon I promise I was like almost finished but decided to publish this section since it was done and yall need to get fed.

Also another note I guess? I refer to Russell as “Adler” even though its third person Sophie centric. I believe since they came to know each other through work, Sophie only initially heard/knew of him by his last name and will still refer to him in her mind as such. I didn’t do this much in the first chapter but I thought about it and also it felt weird calling him Russell all the time LMFAOO

August 2nd, 1980

“…I’m surprised you never had kids.” 

It’s more of a question than a statement, and an admittedly nosey one. They’re currently in the midst of a very picturesque picnic in a field of their choosing, the pair of them eating lunch while sprawled across a spare blanket pulled from the back of Russell’s car. The man in question is currently laid on his side, chewing a strawberry and peering up at her with a curiously cocked eyebrow making an appearance over the rim of his aviators. 

Sophie wriggles under the scrutiny, a blush rising to her cheeks as she redirects her eyes towards her leather boots with a timid huff. They had been together for more than enough time by now, enough time for the lustre of having Russell Adler as her boyfriend to have worn off. Yet, even all these months later, a mere glance from the man was enough to leave her flushed and stumbling over her words. 

“I’m sorry —“ She rushes to apologize, sandwich suddenly forgotten as she picks sheepishly at a loose thread on her dress. She had meant to word things a little…differently, but who was she kidding? it wasn’t her place to ask such things in the first place.

With Russell, the more you pressed him, the further away he pulled. His trust came with patience and time, a small price Sophie didn’t mind paying. There were things he held close to himself, his marriage being one of them. It was obviously a sensitive topic, or at least one he didn’t enjoy talking about. She hadn’t intended to interrogate him about the fact he didn’t have any children despite being married for a little over a decade, it was his business. Only recently had he begun sharing that part of his life with her, and it was a sign of his trust that she deeply valued.  

And here she went, utterly obliterating that carefully constructed confidence because she seemed to lack a brain-to-mouth filter.

“You’re fine, kid.”  Russell soothes, interrupting her scattered thoughts. The woman manages to to will herself to look at him again, where his enlivened grin signaling he was more amused than offended by the statement. 

He sits up, and one of his hands moves to rub at her thigh in reassurance. “I admire that you’re always pretty straight to the point.” He notes lightheartedly, subtly pacifying her current flustered state.

The woman huffs, self conscious despite the comforting words. "It gets me in trouble way too much.” She confesses, biting into her sandwich a bit too harshly. It was true. She had a terrible habit of being too honest for as long as she could remember, and it had made for some terribly awkward experiences throughout her life.

“I’d argue telling the truth is a pretty good thing to get in trouble for.” Adler remarks in return, his hand remaining on her thigh as he continues with his lunch. She could tell he was making a point of appearing relatively unconcerned about the whole thing, likely in a bid to provide her some sense of consolation. The man was leaving little room for her to feel upset at herself. 

Sophie releases a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and relaxes, shoulders loosening as she finishes the last of her sandwich. 

There’s another beat of silence, and then it occurs to her that Russell had managed yet again to wriggle his way out of talking about himself. It was a common pattern, nearly every time she attempted to make conversation that centered around him, he would artfully steer the conversation away from himself and find a way to redirect the topic towards her. 

He was annoyingly good at it, too, and she was just starting to catch on that he was doing it in the first place. 

“Wait! You didn’t answer the question!” The brunette gasps, exasperated. “You always do this!” 

“Do what?” Russell retorts, behaving as if he were completely ignorant of what was the matter. He always acted as if he didn’t know.

“You always find a way to not answer me! Every time you change the subject and then hope I forget!” The woman laughs, failing miserably in her attempt to come across as annoyed. His behavior was maddening, but Sophie often found she was less irritated and more awestruck that the man was so artful at playing people. 

“I’d never do that, you’re just making things up.” Russell quips, mouth twisted with a lopsided smile as he continues the playful banter. “I love talking about myself, actually. Could do it all day.” 

Adler just keeps smirking, stuffing a strawberry into his mouth as he does. The younger rolls her eyes, because as much as she loved him, the man could seriously be a pain. “You don’t actually have to answer the question if you don’t want to. ” She adds, humor now absent from her voice as she quietly rearranges the bundle of wildflowers she had picked.

“I said it was fine, sweetheart. Don’t worry about it.” Russell tells her again, his voice calm and even as he continues to rub circles into her skin. There’s a brief pause, and suddenly the hand on her thigh stops moving. “Wait, do you want kids? Is this your way of asking?” He asks, his head suddenly shifting to level her with a steely gaze. Despite the presence of the aviators on his face, she can feel the intensity of his stare. The man’s demeanor had grown suddenly serious, alert even.

“No! I mean…kids are nice and all and I don’t mind them…but I’m not really dead set on having them.” She explains, her own hand darting to grasp Russell’s larger one. From one moment to the next, it had suddenly become her turn to offer reassurance. “In all honesty, I feel I’d quite rather do without them, really.” She returns the man’s heavy gaze with one of her own, both in search of his reaction and in the hopes of communicating her honesty. "I was just…curious.” She admits shyly.

It was the truth, she wasn’t one of those girls whose ultimate life goal was of being a housewife with the white picket fence, apple pies, and endless kids. There was nothing wrong with that ideal per say, but it wasn’t something she saw herself wanting. 

The woman wasn’t really looking to make children a part of her life. If it happened, it happened, but she could go without them and feel just fine about it. 

Russell, on his part, seemed relieved. Accepting her answer with a nod, his gaze moves towards the sky above as he gives her hand a short squeeze.

Then to her complete surprise, he decides to answer the question anyways. Sophie turns to look at the taller as he begins to speak, shifting to lay on her left side and face him as he leaned back on his hands. 

“Well...there’s a lot of reasons, really. First, my job.” Adler then pauses to spare her a brief glance, as if to ensure she understood what he was attempting to convey. It was no secret that Russell was often away, leaving her for weeks and sometimes months on end. She was never allowed to have any hint of what he was doing or even where he was going, all that she could know was that his work was very important and very dangerous. 

Sometimes she found herself sitting at home and just hoping he was still alive. Confirmation that he was okay only came when he either called her to say he was coming home (which was rare) or until he appeared out of the blue. It wasn’t a feeling she liked having, and a sentiment Russell hated subjecting her to.  

It was just the way it was, the way it had to be. Their relationship would always come second to work, Adler had made that very clear from the start. She was either in or out, and he made sure that she knew the price that she would be paying in being with him.

Russell sighs, the exhale sounding deep and tired before he continues. “It would be unfair to do that to a kid, they wouldn’t understand why their dad was away all the time...And it would have been unfair to my ex, she would have had to essentially raise them all on her own.” 

Sophie nods silently in understanding, the living scenario was on she had come to understand personally. The periods of absence would be difficult on both mother and child for various reasons, and it was good that the couple had weighed the risks.

“Some of the guys at work are okay with that, and have wives that were okay with that, but for us..?” He continues, voice even as he grasps one of the flowers she had stuffed into the picnic basket and begins rolling the stem between his thumb and pointer finger. “We didn’t want kids that bad. We were okay, just it being the two of us.”

“You both ended up going your separate ways, too. I could imagine if you had kids that would have been a nightmare.” She adds, a relatively astute observation but one that she felt was worth mentioning. They had made the right choice after all, it had seemed. 

“God, I’m thankful we didn’t for that reason especially.” Russell replies with audible relief, thankful that children hadn’t been something to consider in their subsequent divorce. 

There’s a moment of silence, and she thinks he’s finished speaking, especially seeing that he officially answered her question. 

But then he sits up properly, clearing his throat before speaking once more. “And all these years later my feelings about it are the same and I don’t regret it.” He tells her, sounding confident and assured as he rips most of the stem away from the main portion of the flower with a powerful yank. “Even if I wanted them now, I’m a bit too old to be a dad. So that ship has long sailed.” 

Sophie nods. Russell was a man of very few regrets, and his sense of judgement was one she had come to trust wholeheartedly. He turns to her, an arm reaching out to tuck a few locks of her hair out of the way before placing the remainder of the flower behind her ear. 

The woman smiles so hard her cheeks ache. Russell Adler was a romantic, despite the fact he vehemently denies it. It was true and no one was going to believe her ever. “I don’t think you really missed out, everyone I know who has kids just complains about them.” She states, still smiling.

The taller’s chest rumbles with a chuckle. Having carefully maneuvering the food out of the way, he then wraps an arm around her shoulders, he pulls her down to lay at his side as she lets out a surprised squeak. “Have we been talking to the same people?” He asks. 

“If one of them is named Jason Hudson, then yes.”

Russell laughs then, and it’s music to her ears.

#get into it yuh #anyways next chapter we got some DRAMAAAA #russell adler #russell adler x oc #russell adler fanfic #call of duty #call of duty fanfic #black ops cold war #bocw #black ops cold war fanfic #bocw fanfic #mine #my writing #all that remains #also if u see any errors...no u didnt

[suaudisruption]

UPDATE: [Explanation + Revamp ]

(i do express some feelings in here that might be a bit of a downer, so if you dont want to read through that, i recommend skipping to the last three paragraphs <3 )

yeesh- hey yall i know its been- definitely a good while since ive posted anything on here, besides things that went down a couple months ago. and first, i want to apologize for not fufilling my goals to get this story out. its been- a very rough year to say the least, a lot of bad things and changes, some good- but its taken its toll on me pretty bad.

i havent forgotten about this story, though. i think about it all the time, i think about disrupt and artifact all the time, and i want to share their story with yall so so bad, but- im stuck in a place where i feel like its?? too late lol??? and i know its not but- i guess it got increasingly difficult over time to actually post things because i wanted to make sure everything was planned out perfectly, that i had a good story to tell and i wouldnt let people down- but the more i kept nitpicking, the more worried i got to even post anything in the first place. and thats something i still really need to work on, tbh.

motivation was another issue in itself- its very hard for me to stay on one thing for too long, especially if it requires a lot of attention- and my struggle this year with mental health made that even worse lol. so while i so desperately wanted to make content- i felt trapped and unable to actually do so.

but i say this all with a reason- and thats because i think im going to revamp this page and give it. give this story one more shot. its not even fully about letting yall down, its also- i dont want to keep this story inside me and never get the chance to tell it, you know..? and i- know the process will take awhile and my organization might be messy, etc- but atleast im telling it in some way- besides lol, i kind of need to tell this story to help heal myself too. i cant leave this abandoned, because its such a big part of me and i- yeah.

ill form a more coherent post when i finish revamping this page a bit, but- to those who are willing and wanting to stick around for how ever long it takes for me to complete my unorganized messy storytelling lol- i truly appreciate you all. it means a lot.

and with all that, off i go to edit some things! please make sure to hydrate and eat something if you can, today <3 your health is always important, mentally and physically <3 <3

#sorry if this is a bit of a downer folks #but i felt the need to give you all an explanation about my abscense #you may also notice the page looking blank- and thats cuz i wiped most of it lol #i kinda just. wanna start fresh. #idk #but- yeah. hopefully i can atleast tell something this time #thanks for sticking around <3 #tw: vent #??? i think #tw: mental health #??? just in case

[chal-lelerc]

Out of curiosity, who were the first drivers to steal a place in y’alls hearts and how did it happen? Mine were Lando, Max, and Charles, and they still remain at the top (after the short months I’ve been an F1 fan). Warning: I gush under the cut.

For me, the first time I really noticed F1 was seeing it trend in the Tumblr tags so often last year to be honest lmao. Whenever I would scroll through out of curiosity I would always and without fail see this lil puppy like kid named Lando Norris pop up like every other post (f1blr really loves him) and I just thought he was adorable. I didn’t know how old he was but it was clear that he was incredibly young in what’s hailed as a man’s sport, and I’ve always had a soft spot for youngins doing Good Things (hello, hockey rookies). I was impressed by how well-spoken he often was (though this may just be because I’m used to hockey players literally being speech illiterate), especially considering his age, and even more so now that I know he can’t even say the word statistic and yet can give pretty insightful and lucid responses. It’s been a journey getting to learn the kind of person he is, or at least what he presents himself as, particularly throughout this unprecedented quarantine break. I know it sounds ridiculous when I say this considering he’s literally an F1 driver son of one of the richest couples in his region of the UK, but I’m so proud of everything he’s been able to do at such a young age and I think he deserves absolutely every good thing coming for him in F1, and I always worry that he’s burning himself out trying to please others and being self-deprecating, especially with his Twitch streams. I hope he’s taking care of himself and eating earlier than the 20:00 that he tends to eat at now and is drinking water and sleeping well and as a fan, I’m so excited to see him grow as a driver and as a person.

My first real intro to F1 was watching season 1 of Drive To Survive, which I’m sure is a rather painful sentence for many of y’all to read. Which means my first impression of Max Verstappen was that him and Daniel hate each other (how dare Netflix do this I’m heartbroken I missed prime Maxiel era) and that He’s An Asshole. But something about his prick-ish energy was just so appealing and it was obvious that he was supremely talented just from watching DTS. Also I thought he was ugly-cute right from the start sue me lmfao. I think this has made my love for him feel even more significant, because I feel like I was really able to unlearn the negatives and discover all the positives that he has to offer. Again, my affection for The Kids really popped out when I learned that he was the youngest person to ever drive in F1 and I’m reeeeally gunning for him to be the youngest WDC (I’m sorry Charles but I saw Max first), although at this rate this doesn’t seem plausible ://, but I digress. And obviously, I don’t know anything about his personal life or childhood, really, but knowing all that I’ve been made privy to about J*s, it’s so gratifying (even as an outsider) to see just how good he is at driving, the best and most well-deserved “fuck you” to his dad’s face. Toto Wolff basically gushing over him and subtly calling J*s out? Cried. He’s also quite the character and he never fails to make me laugh with his jokes while he streams or with his lack of fear of making things awkward if he’s asked a stupid question. And maybe I’ll be the first to admit this but I’m literally in love with his driving style (again, perhaps it’s the aggressive hockey fan in me that also loves Tom Wilson) and the sheer size of his massive fuckin balls bro.

Charles came to me last simply because DTS introduced him to me last lol. But y’all know Sauber Charles came along and stole my breath away at first sight. I’m not ashamed to say that I thought he was literally so hot and that was my first and only impression of him. But DTS finally did a good job at telling his story with his father and Jules, and when I heard that he fulfilled his lifelong dream by joining Ferrari “for Jules”, my love and pride for him erupted and solidified into the monster that it is now. He’s still so young and has gone through so much, and yet he’s been able to do so much as well (clearly he’s fuckin driving a Ferrari on and off track) and, like Max, he is just raw talent. Speaking of Max, the Lestappen relationship has been SUCH A SAGA and I literally am in love with it this is just me projecting my infatuation with the enemies to lovers trope into real life but what the fuck eh? I adore his enthusiasm for everything that he does, which obviously correlates with his racing driver’s obsession with winning, but also with his sim racing and Fortnite-ing as well as his determination to get his Twitch stream transitions perfected and his own brother’s similar drive to win. As someone who finds it difficult to get myself to do literally even the things I enjoy, I admire this so much. On that note, I think it’s been such a blessing to see such a loud and rambunctious personality behind the Ferrari racing machine that we see through the regular season.

There’s such a bright future for each of these guys and I’m lucky to have chosen guys that most likely have a long ways to go with this sport and won’t be going away anytime soon. The amount of excitement I feel for what I anticipate they’ll bring to the sport is literally unparalleled. Clearly, I’m not used to writing in any sophisticated manner on this website because it’s turned out to really not be sophisticated at all but I really just wanted to gush after beginning to watch the 2019 season in its entirety. ANYWAY I’m feeling mushy and awkward and uncomfy now so yall sound off lol

#charles leclerc #lando norris #max verstappen #f1 #formula 1 #long post

[blangyouredead]

9 days into taking androgel on the lowest dose (20.25mg daily) and heres what I’ve noticed 

CW: I am going to talk about some private body things and nsfw stuff, so im putting a read more but also warning yall if thats just not something you want to read. I’m doing this to document my journey for me, but also show other people who may go onto T what my experience is while its happening. 

Literally the first thing to hit me like, after my second application was feeling embarrassingly aroused like all day lmao. And this was personally new to me. Like I’ve ID’d as ace for most of my life because I’ve just never Casually felt aroused. But the day this happened, it was so intense I legitimately could not stop laughing lmao. 

This died down a little bit over the next couple days, but in its place, I found myself already hungrier and more thirsty. Advice given to me is just “Give In”, and he was right lol. Eat and drink so much water. 

On the 22nd, my period came almost 2 weeks early, and this is where I learned something that I’m ashamed to admit I didn’t know, but you know. Public health education is trash in the US, so if it helps someone else, then so be it: Your natural testosterone levels are at it’s highest when you’re on your period, so taking T can sometimes trigger your period to start early because you’re kinda tricking your body into thinking it’s that time of the month. Whether or not this continues depends on your body. Luckily, this lasted about as long as my usual periods, so this cleared up a few days ago with no complications. 

Once this died down, I spent about 2 days sleeping. No joke. I’ve never been so fucking exhausted than these two days. Granted my sleep schedule is a bit wonky right now, but this was next level. Only this morning had I gotten enough sleep to feel like a human again. 

However this morning, I’ve noticed the horniness came back, but it was just different. I wasn’t really sure how to explain it for a moment, but I couldn’t get comfortable no matter how I sat or where I sat and there were even moments it felt like I was getting pinched, and it was this realization that made me realize that this was the start of bottom growth, and its just as weirdly uncomfortable and yet not as every explained, but they were also right in that you won’t know what it feels like until it starts happening. This sensation hasn’t died down all day, and I’m still figuring out how to exactly deal with it and alleviate it as much as possible, but that’s something I’m gonna keep to myself lmao. 

Also, over the 9 days, I’ve noticed an increase in acne, however because acne is not something my family usually struggles with, I doubt I’ll have much of a problem with it outside of just, general maintenance and skincare luckily. I also naturally have a lot of body hair, so it’s difficult to tell any increase in that outside the stray hairs on my face and chin that are already getting a bit longer and pricklier than normal, but they’re basically invisible and very fine right now. 

All in all, I’m... very excited with what’s happening, and I’m gonna go through the rest of the month and see where I’m at there and do another update then 

#givecharliegendereuphoria2021 #t update #transmasc #transman #tgel

[hugsfromdad]

Hey kids,

How is everyone?

It's been a long time since I've done a check-in post and I've recently been feeling a real need to reconnect with all of you on here.

TLDR: my life is really busy and crazy and theater hasn't been good for me but I'm surviving. I miss y'all sm and want to hear from you. Whether it's anon, message, comment, or reblog. I have next to no freetime rn, but i really want to reconnect and am gonna try my best to be present on here more.💗

My life update: I've been so enjoying not being on instagram and just focusing on myself, healing and growing, and the few real relationships I have outside of social media. However, it's been hard cause I realized just how few close friends i actually have and the desperate need I have for friends who live nearby me. My two current best friends live 3.5 hours away, and in Colorado... So not someone i can hit up to have supper with and get a hug from when im having a tough day. And ive been having quite a few of those recently.

Joining theater has been...an experience. My mum has helped me to realize that i joined this production with expectations of making new friends.... Those expectations, as low as i thought they were, were wrong. It's like being in a ridiculously intense class with kids who already all know each other. It's not a clique, and I'm not being excluded, but it's like trying to break into a world where i dont even speak their language, and I'm still deciding if i really even want to.

I've been spending 3-4 days a week, 3hrs+ (sometimes 10hrs) per day with these people, for now 2 months--and I still dont know more than 3ish facts about the majority of them. A couple of them i have been able to get closer to-- but only because I found a time outside of practice hours to get to know them.

This has been really difficult for me. A lot about this situation is triggering for me and bringing me back to my bad years when I knew and spent time with a lot of people, but felt really alone and had no friends... So, it gets kind of scary when im already having a bad day and i go to practice. I have to be really careful and intentional of staying on the road when I drive home because my suicidalness kicks back in real strong...yeah, it's that bad. But I'm being careful and open with my mum and therapist about this all.

On good days, I kind of maybe consider doing this again. But in actuality... I dont want to. I'm not really having fun and I don't want to put myself through this again. I dont have a passion for this and I would need some really good, close (location-wise and friendship-wise) friends in my life, and in theater, to be able to enjoy doing this again.

So yeah... That's THAT whole situation. I'm counting the days til it's over... 20. Closing night is on my birthday... Best present I could get. I really just want to have my life back from this. And i hate that I'm good at it and so the people there assume im having fun and gonna want to do this again.. And, worst of all assumptions; that im carefree and happy-- lol.

So thats pretty unfortunate, but I'm at least getting another really good learning experience, and I cannot tell yall how fucking proud of myself i am for doing this. This is a big deal and I threw myself in the deep end and it turns out im actually good at swimming--even if I dont like it.

When it comes to my personal life (what's that?) It boils down to: I need friends. I'm trying to find people close in location to me... But, because my soul is currently owned by the theater, I cant do much at all. I am trying tho.

I tried a few dating apps... Oof. Ew no. I hate dating apps and I hated every moment on there. Not finding people really and its pretty sucky, but my therapist keeps reminding me that it's not me, it's my difficult situations throughout life that's kept me from finding people to date. There was one person I matched with who I was talking to for a bit, but then they havent replied to me for 2 days now, so im hoping everything is okay, but I'm kinda used to being ghosted at this point. Ill finding someone tho. Its gotta happen.

I'm pursuing my transition more-- hopefully I'll be starting testosterone soon and I'm looking into surgeons now and saving my money with a mindset towards top surgery within a year... We'll see. But its super exciting. My theater director (who is really bipolar and freaks me out some, but seems to adore me) put a stubble beard on me with makeup yesterday cause I had mentioned wanting a beard once i got on testosterone. It nearly made me cry and I couldnt stop smiling. I wore it home and hated taking it off before bed. I really really want a beard and im so fucking close, it's giving me strength.

My music and writing and painting and all other things have come to a screeching halt since starting theater, but i have a ton of inspiration that's built up over the past couple months that I'm super excited to unleash it the moment I'm free of this commitment. Im already working on a musical about this whole experience joining theater that I think would be really good. And I really want to finish my books and get them out there. We shall see what happens.

I love you all so much and my heart constantly goes out to you all and all of your experiences and struggles. I want to be here with you and laugh and cry, morn and celebrate together. Hopefully more of the good, tho.

Please feel free to reach out to me, even though I haven't been active at all on here. Message/anon me about your life, or questions, updates, celebrations, jokes, good pickup lines for me to use on my best friend as soon as his cruise is over and I can spam him again (holy shit I miss him so much @jamesboii please come home soon). Or like just reach out and say hello-- it might take me a day to reply, but i will.

Love y'all so much, sorry for this long blurp about my life. But i just wanted to post something and try to reconnect.

What do y'all want to see me posting? Im down to try new things. ✌

Sending hugs and love,

💕-dad

[wanna1things]

Soulmate!Park Jihoon

my laptop broke the first two times i tried to post this please appreciate

Genre;; fluff + uhh college!au,, fashion designer!au uh soulmate!au obviously

Warnings;; theres a bit of self-deprecation here and mentions of like low self esteem ??

Pairing;; Park Jihoon x reader

Requested;; nooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Soulmate AU Type;; when you and your soulmate touch, you both feel sparks until you get together lol its a v simple one this time

Summary;; You met Park Jihoon in the first year of college. Since then you’ve always felt a spark, but you haven’t yet felt the spark you really want...

Style;; bullet point

Word Count;; 1785

Also in this series;; Daniel | Woojin | Jinyoung | Minhyun

I’m posting this as a thank you for 100 followers (i think its 115 now??) and also because i am bored… i’ve had my ribena it’s time to WRITE also excuse me?? i love jihoons fashion sense. give me that boy in a beret any day i’ll take it. this was written when i was in a bit of a slump so if it’s bad i’m so sorry but ill do the requests ASSSSSSSSSSSSAP

your parents told you about the ‘sparks’ thing when you were really young

you used to dream that you’d meet a real life prince and touch his hand and then you’d feel the sparks and you really like romanticised that as a kid lol

all the way through your life your friends were finding their soulmates, some even in kindergarten lol

but you never seemed to have much luck and your mum always joked that you were still waiting for that prince to come along

you decided that really soulmates weren’t the most important thing in life and although it would be nice to meet yours;; you’d rather explore other passions

so you took up designing fashion

your school offered design and technology courses so you took a couple and realised it was something you really enjoyed

you were always the best at being able to make old clothes into something new fresh and wonderful

when you got accepted into the best fashion college in the country you almost had a heart attack

your mum read out your acceptance letter while you were on the toilet lmaooooo

but really you never really thought you had that much talent with designing

but your acceptance letter seemed to suggest that the college really liked your mood boards and your way of styling

on the first day of college you walked into the hall expecting it to be like;; a normal lecture hall

but everyone was already in groups around these mannequins

you had a TEAMBUILDING EXERCISE

kill me now

you moved into the group you were told to go into and introduced yourself as brightly as you could

“hello! I’m y/n haha”

the others responded with their names and they shook your hand quickly

except for one kid who seemed to not be that;; interested in your presence

he mumbled a “park jihoon” and went back to working with the materials

you watched as he went to work cutting the fabrics and you tried to decide what you wanted to do with the old piece of clothing on the mannequin

the prompt on the whiteboard simply read ‘uplift me!’ so it was pretty vague;;

you suggested bright colours like yellows or pastels to be uplifting

the jihoon guy turned up his nose a bit at this

“no, y/n i think we should use sequins or metallics. they are more eye catching, which might be what they mean by uplifting”

the other group members were a bit like lmao what just happened

“did jihoon just talk to you?? he hasn’t spoken to any of us no matter what we say what’s your secret??”

honestly you thought he was angry and that’s why he spoke to you like that lol

but in jihoon’s head he was mentally kicking himself like this girl is the only one in the room whose fashion style is my taste;; and i make her hate me lmao gr8 job m8

but really he just appreciated that you put a viable idea forward and he wanted to have an,, intellectual conversation with you but he ended up scaring you off more than anything

you continue to work on the piece as a group and you settle on using gold because;; it’s kind of bright like what you want and it’s the metallic that jihoon wanted

when the professor comes around and looks at yours he immediately can tell you two did all the work and you two are like?? How did you know

and the professor is just like ya guys i looked at your mood boards. i know your styles

but he puts you and jihoon together as a pair so you can work together on future projects because your styles match super well and then ON GOES THE LECTURE

a few months into college you start doing placements in a shop where you design and put together outfits for the customers

you and jihoon are put against each other for like the first time and you each have to try and please as many customers as you can

the briefs they give are literally like;; two words usually “i want a skirt to match these shoes” or something

and you have to learn to infer their style from what they’re already wearing it’s v difficult;;

but you and jihoon manage to please the exact same number of clients… and you do each client you get pretty much perfectly

from that moment onwards you and jihoon are known as the fashion power couple, even though you aren’t actually a couple in fact you’ve never seen each other outside of class

that is until jihoon invites you to go to a coffee shop for lunch during the break between your classes and your placement

after yall get your food and your drinks you sit down in a booth and just sigh and relax a bit

jihoon says out of nowhere

“i’m sorry if i scared you at first i was just really surprised to find someone with the same style as me lol”

he’s blushing a lot and its?? really cute i mean you knew park jihoon was cute from the very first moment you saw him but the light blush across his cheeks makes him look 250% more adorable

“don’t worry i’m not even remotely scared of you! i’m really happy we are friends”

wait

jihoon did not realise he was your friend oh my god this makes him happy he thought he was just an acquaintance

don’t tell anyone but he’s highkey been crushing on you since the first day you met and did that fancy ass styling

i mean you have a crush on him too but you two have literally… never hung out like… can’t act upon this

you are just enjoying your tea and your croissant when you notice jihoon has a paper cut on his hand

“hey jihoon i know how to cure paper cuts super quick all you have to do is-”

you lean over the table to grab his hand and demonstrate what to do when he flinches and snatches his hand away

I mean you’re a bit hurt but like… you just continue with what you were saying to not make it awkward

“ahh… um… my mum said you can put superglue on it to make it heal haha”

jihoon smiles back sheepishly and keeps drinking his drink

he’s mentally kicking himself that he pulled his hand away but

honestly he really likes you and he doesn’t want to face that you probably won’t be his soulmate so;; he did that

but when he sees the sad look on your face it’s like ah INSTANT REGRET

when you go back to classes the next day your professor reveals that your whole class is entering a worldwide fashion contest

all the top fashion colleges around the world enter their top classes

you and jihoon look at each other and you’re so ready to partner up and get that first place position

but your professor then reveals

that you enter alone and teams aren’t allowed

rip fashion power couple you are really up against each other now

honestly you really want to win this to prove yourself

you don’t feel like your style is as refined as like jihoon’s or some of your other classmates

and it makes you feel kinda;; down

but you feel like if you win this then you’ve proven to yourself that you do have a style and it is worth you being at that college

because sometimes you think that you might just be surviving because jihoon is helping you and working with you??

but anyway

your brief is similar to the original brief you had on the first day of college except this one you style using pre existing pieces and one piece you can make yourself

the exact brief is like;;

“something uplifting, can put a smile on someone’s face. classic, but fresh.”

you decide almost straight away to use jihoons idea of gold from the first day because it does work

it’s classic, it can put a smile on someone’s face and if it’s styled the right way it can be fresh and uplifting too

little do you know jihoon has a similar idea

you decide to thrift a second hand wedding ring and you add some gold details to it as your item because;; it’s subtle and more classic idk??

on the day of the competition you and jihoon are getting ready backstage because;; you’re your own model lol

you go on the catwalk consecutively because it goes in order of school

just before you step out to go on stage jihoon pats your back and whispers a ‘good luck’ in your ear

you swear to god that you just felt the sparks

you look up at jihoon but he doesn’t seem to react so you brush it off as just being nerves

but inside both you and jihoon are mentally screaming

like omg the person i’ve liked for like ages is my soulmate bYE

anyway

the catwalk for both you and jihoon goes really smoothly, both of you have chosen similar styles and both of you are using gold

as you’re waiting backstage for your results your professor approaches you and sighs

“i notice that jihoon’s style has influenced yours and that you’ve influenced jihoon’s style recently…”

honestly you look up at your professor like lmao whAT do you MEAN???

“my dear, it’s young love”

you can literally feel the heat burning up your cheeks as jihoon appears behind you and your professor

before you know it the results are being announced

the special mention prize goes to a girl from a Milan school of fashion which is like super surprising because they usually get first

as the host starts to announce the winner they get a message through their earpiece which makes them frown and the whole arena is just like ok whats going on

“i’m receiving word that two people have received the exact same scores from the judges and the audience which has… never been seen before. we have two winners.”

something inside your heart really hopes it is you and jihoon lol

“this year’s winners are y/n y/l/n and Park Jihoon!”

your heart was right

you immediately turn to jihoon and embrace him in the tightest hug ever

and he leans down to press his lips against yours

you can feel the sparks flying all over your body

but you really couldn’t care less you’re so happy

not only did you win

but you found your soulmate

you found your prince

and the fashion power couple is REAL

i;; i;;; need to sleep goodnigh t enj oy thank you for the love

#jihoon #park jihoon #wannaone imagines #wanna one imagines #wanna one #wannaone #wannable #produce 101 imagines #produce 101 scenarios #Produce 101 #soulmate au #au #college au #fashion designer au

[shuakkinda-blog]

Mingyu crushing on you !! // scenario

A bullet-point scenario starring everyone’s favorite housewife and puppy Mingyu!

Request scenarios and reactions on my page if you’d like :)

- I love Kim Mingyu

- you know why?

- it’s because he’s just so

- confident

- and talented in so many ways (BOY DO I LOVE TALL BOYS WHO CAN DANCE)

- and shameless

- and legit the type of guy you’d wanna bring home to your parents

- he’s a m a z i n g

- and if you’re the person he develops a suuuper huge crush on

- well god damn you are one lucky girl

- ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE YOU INTO THE STORY

- you’re a few weeks into your internship at pledis, and you’ve already met a handful of svt members

- but not all of them

- so one day, you’re busy putting away some finished paperwork for your job at the company building

- you hit an intersection between two hallways when all of a sudden

- a huGE ASS TREE COMES RUNNING INTO YOU FROM THE OTHER HALLWAY (yall should know what I mean by tree lolol)

- you get knocked onto the floor, and it looks like whatever hit you took a fall as well

- the paperwork in your hands go flying all over the place, and the back of your head hits the wall pretty loudly

- as you rub the part of your head that hurt, the “tree” (a really handsome one, I must say) looks to you as he rests on his side, eyes widened and mouth slightly agape at the sight of you

- you recognize him

- it’s one of the members you haven’t talked to before

- he’s not just any tree

- he’s the visual tree, Mingyu

- “OH MY GOD I’M-I’M SO SORRY- ARE YOU OKAY???” he panics as he gets off the floor and kneels next to you to check if you’re fine

- your eyes squint at the slight pain, but you nod yes anyways. “Yes, I’m fine.”

- it really hurts actually lol

- he helps you sit up against the wall and checks your head, figuring that the pain could only be coming from there since you’re clutching it like that

- he notes the pain in your face and shakes his head

- “don’t lie, I know it hurts.”

- you try to convince him that you’re fine as you begin to collect your scattered files, but he grabs your hand before you could grab another sheet of paper

- “come here,” he says and assists you in getting up. he gets you to sit on a chair in one of the vacant offices

- once you get settled he continues, “I’m gonna go grab an ice pack from the freezer downstairs. Don’t pick up another piece of paper from the floor while I’m out.”

- one side of you is thinking

- “aw this guy is so sweet and considerate, I’m mELtiNG”

- while the other side is just

- “bitch don’t tell me what to d0 lmao″

- so you get up to collect the rest of your sheets in the hallway before quickly scampering into the room again to pretend you were there the entire time

- you hope the guy is dumb enough to not notice that there’s suddenly no mess in the hallway when he gets back

- and luckily he’s too busy thinking about the pain in your head to care about the papers at the moment

- so he comes rushing back into the office with a small cloth and an ice pack

- he takes your hand off of the part of your head that you were holding and places the ice pack there

- “I’m so sorry, really. You don’t know how bad I feel right now,” he says while holding the ice against your head

- “No, it’s okay,” you reassure him. “I should have been looking before crossing.”

- “I was the one who slammed into you though,” he replies. “I shouldn’t be running around here in the first place.”

- you hate to waste his time so you take a hold of the ice pack and get up from your seat

- “I can put the ice pack back in the freezer later. Thank you for your help, Mingyu.”

- “oh,” he says. “Are you sure?”

- you nod

- “okay, I’m sorry again. Really.” You can tell he’s being sincere

 - the both of you exchange bows and you proceed to leave the office with your files

- “hey, you’re y/n, right?” he asks

- “yeah, that’s me. I’m surprised you know my name,” you say shyly

- he laughs, “yeah the other members talk about you sometimes. I’m actually surprised you know my name too, since there’s so many of us.”

- “well, they told me to watch out for a tall and clumsy guy around here named Mingyu, so I figured that guy is you.”

- Mingyu’s jaw drops, but his shocked expression turns into a smile

- “wow, from what I heard about you from the other guys, I really wasn’t expecting you to be this sassy,” he scoffs

- “well, it looks like they haven’t told you enough,” you laugh and leave the room *high-fives self*

- as you’re putting all the files away in their respective places, you can’t help but think of how sweet and cute Mingyu is

- like, sure he just bodyslammed into you a few minutes ago

- but his accommodating nature was so niceee

- and he’s got looks on top of that :33

- you can’t possibly think he could get any better oh boy just wait

- little do you know that Mingyu is still cursing at himself for messing up in front of an innocent intern

- a pretty cute one too lol

- he wishes you guys could’ve met in a better way

- but it’s okay, he thinks to himself

- to make up for it, he’s gonna make an actual effort to get to know you and fix his reputation

- he was drawn to the unexpected level of sass you gave him a piece of

- well, if you’re gonna give him a slice of your attitude

- he’s gonna give you a slice too

- a slice of homemade cake, that is

- bc the poor puppy would still feel bad about what happened the other day

- he’ll find you a day after the incident to hand you a slice of cake that he made himself

- you’d insist that you don’t deserve the slice, since you think half of the incident was your fault

- but he’d literally open up the container of cake and shove a piece of it into your mouth

- “iF YOU DON’T ACCEPT THIS, THEN I’LL ACCEPT IT FOR YOU,” he says

- “I also spent 3 hours trying to make this last night, pls take it :(”

- “you’re cute too,” he’d say in his head

- so you taste it and

- omg 

- it’s not cake

- it’s heaven

- you immediately compliment him on the cake, and he blushes

- “if he can make this cake by himself, then I guess he isn’t as clumsy as the others say???” you think to yourself

- he has redeemed himself

- AND THUS your friendship with Mingyu begins !!

- it wouldn’t take long for him to fall for you though

- believe me when I say he is a softie

- this makes Mingyu the fluffiest crush-er

- he’s so into making his thing for you obvious

- but 99% of the time you’ll take the hints he gives you as jokes

- he’d also be super willing to do couple-ish things with you even if you guys are just friends bc this boy just cAN’T WAIT

- he wants you to know that he can be a really good potential boyfriend

- so whenever you guys hang out, he’d try extra hard to be funny, impress you with his skills, and ofc flirt

- “someone’s looking really pretty today~” he’d say. he’ll probably flash a smile and wink as well what a grease ball

- “shut up, Mingyu. we all know I look like shit today,” you’d reply

- “but you look beautiful all the time,” he’d say in his head

- his flirting would be so frequent

- the members would see it too and probably want to puke

- but it would be so frequent to the point that the members would think he’s just messing with you

- they wouldn’t actually think it’s a crush

- if anything, Mingyu would have to talk to Wonwoo about liking you if he can’t keep it to himself any longer:

- “hey Wonwoo,”

- “yeah?”

- “what if I told you that... I actually like y/n?”

- “wait, rEALLY?”

- “yeah, man.”

- “LOL I thought all of the flirting was just for fun.”

- “nah, dude. I actually meant it.”

- Wonwoo would ask Mingyu if he is actually gonna confess or something, and Mingyu would definitely say yes

- but he doesn’t know how to do it???

- like, he’s got the guts to confess and everything

- but planning out a cute way to tell you how he feels would be difficult

- he doesn’t want you to laugh at him when he actually confesses bc the last thing he wants you to think is that his confession is just another one of his flirty “jokes”

- Mingyu wants you to catch onto what he’s trying to say right away so that the whole moment stays special :’)

- Meanie YES would have to brainstorm through a whole lot of confession ideas

- and then the perfect plan will hit them

- so on one fine day

- Mingyu would text you during one of your intern shifts

- “Y/N Y/N Y/N”

- “what do you want now,” you’d text back

- “are you in the company building rn?”

- “yeah, why?”

- “meet me in the practice room asap k byeee”

- “uh okay?”

- so you finish up whatever you were doing before heading down a floor to the practice room

- but when you arrive at the practice room, you check the tiny door window

- there’s no lights on???

- all you see through the window is pitch black

- “is Mingyu even there?” you think to yourself

- you hesitate for a moment, but a part of you just doesn’t ask and opens the door anyways

- you look straight ahead and find a orange glow coming from the floor

- it’s a cake with candles

- and being illuminated by the cake is none other than your favorite germ ball

- Mingyu

- “dude, wth you look really creepy right now,” you’d laugh

- Mingyu would try hard to hold in his laughter and say

- “shut up, just come here.”

- “can I turn on the lights at least?” you ask

- “NONONO just sit here please~”

- so you walk over to the cake and sit in front of it. Mingyu is sitting across from you. the cake is all that’s in between you and him

- you spot an envelope to the right of the cake with your name on it

- he spots your glance at the envelope and says “go ahead, take it.”

- “Mingyu, if you think it’s my birthday today, you’re about 6 months off.”

- he’s nervous

- “IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. JUST OPEN THE ENVELOPE FOR GOD’S SAKE, Y/N.”

- so you do

- and inside the envelope is a card with a little heart on it

- you open up the card and read its contents:

- “y/n I know this will sound stupid but please just answer this question:”

- “do you like me?”

- “if so, blow the cake candles.”

- “if not, just use your hands to blow out the candles.”

- tbh the idea did sound kind of stupid but

- you blush

- he’s caught you off guard

- and for real this time

- truth is that you’ve liked him since you guys first met

- you always thought his flirty jokes were all to poke fun at you

- they were cute

- but you didn’t really think he meant it

- everything was slowly coming together now

- does he... really like you??

- welp it’s time for you to throw another snarky comment to make suRe

- “you’re trying to get me to burn off my fingers, aren’t you” you say

- and you expect him to snap back at you

- but he doesn’t:

- “y/n listen, I really like you. I just wanna know if you feel the same.”

- “just please answer the question.”

- so

- you take a deep breath to work up the strength needed to blow out the candles

- but just before you can blow the candles out

- Mingyu quickly shoots out a breath of air and beats you to it

- and he swiftly takes your cheek in his hand to plant a kiss on your lips

- DSJKFHDSLHBGIUJGBSGKDJFBGLIFDUGJBDN;OF WHAT IS LIVING

- you smiled into the kiss and he followed

- he lets go of your lips after taking in the moment

- “that kiss might be sweeter than the cake I made for you.”

- you punch him in the shoulder

- “you’re gross,” you laugh

- he moves to your side of the cake to give you a warm hug in the dark

- “but I wouldn’t have you any other way,” you say with a smile

#CHEESYCHEESYCHEESY #but fr i just love kim mingyu #seventeen #seventeen scenarios #seventeen reactions #seventeen imagines #seventeen mingyu #kim mingyu

[starting-in-the-middle]

Hmmmmm. My company is working with a new gym down the street from the office for a discounted group rate. It’s pretty steep ($45/month), but that includes access to all classes and locations, even the all women’s center! There are 2 locations like two miles from our house so we wouldnt have to drive 30 minutes to work out on weekends (or, you know, talk about how we should drive 30 minutes to go to the gym and then. dont.) and the women’s center is something that I was really interested in joining on my own when we first moved to the area. When we lived in the city it was difficult to even get to planet fitness, so there was very little consistency, and I didnt have a ton of direction. I’d go on the dreaded arc trainer for an hour and some weight lifting and now much else. And since it was $10/month I would find myself thinking “well its not that much so if I dant go a lot its not a big loss whatever” which is. the shittiest!! attitude!! ever!!! honestly!!!! We have a fitness center at our new place but its pretty cramped and fairly crowded, so against consistency is really difficult. And I really, really need consistency! 

I LOVE outdoor exercise but I also live in Baltimore, a swamp town to rival DC with weather mood swings to rival my mother. Having the option of either running outside or doing videos indoors is great now while I’m motivated but its is NOT sustainable. I know myself too well. There are certainly things we can strive to change, and I’ve gotten better at pinpointing where and what I can change. But that also means acknowledging what is WORTH changing. I LIKE exploring new exercises and moving my body in ways I’ve never thought of before and doing things I didnt even know existed! I’m a bit of a jack of all trades in most of my life and I love that about myself, so why not apply it exercise? what am I a wannabe olympian? No! So I can be a decent runner, a good hiker, an okay lifter, an awkward dancer, etc etc and thats more than okay because at least I’m moving and discovering new things. I’m not really interested in competitions beyond fun runs, I’m not really interested in being An Athlete. It’s only been in the last couple of years I even found out that I like moving this much. And with my mental stuff dedicating myself to One Ultimate Fitness Thing is just. Not sustainable. And it works so well for a lot of people and I’m really excited for them! But that’s not me. Ooof that was a tangent! But yeah i think group classes sound really fun and I’ve never done one (unless you count all the yoga? bu thats like...group therapy lol. like yoga is a big part of my health plan--and is very personal to me--but its part of my MENTAL health portion. I do not treat it as ~Fitness~ and I keep my practice fairly private with the expection of being like “look at this thing I can do now and couldnt! cool!” on occasion haha)

but uh if any of yall have used bricks fitness how do you like it? this is a really long hot bc theyre bmore specific but yeah! lemme know!

[aibrechts]

(1 of a lot probably) aaAAAAAND I'm back! This time only at 2am tho haha, and as for why, you see, I met this wonderful, talented young man a few weeks ago and I wouldn't miss talking to him for the world. In any case, on the confidentiality thing, please don't worry meu amigo bonito. I trust your judgement, and either way, I /am/ still masked behind anon y'know hahaha. It's all good

I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE A DAY AND IM SO SORRY everything is happening all at once All The Time sighs honestly i wish i could just lay back and bask in ur sunny conversation, even if just for one day;;;

that’s true, that’s true, i think i have an idea of who you are (or rather, which blog you run) but it almost seems a shame to figure out... that being said, if you are who i think you are then your writing is absolutely breathtaking, and as golden as your heart

(onto #2!) Chester seems plenty lovable btw haha. And I gotta agree that it'd be nigh impossible to find a better home for him. What he has with you? That's the genuine article, and you take /extremely/ good care of him and the others to boot. I'm sure even a famous boy like him gets awestruck sometimes by how lucky and loved he is. Poor Wisdom though! Like /damn/ hahaha. Tough break, kiddo. Tough break hahaha. That's what he gets for trashing the joint tho. {~J}

chester is the perfect man, it’s true, and wisdom is an absolute brat but he has his moments lol. he’s growing on me, similar to that fungal infection thats growing all over his poor handsome face :( i gave him a special bath for it yesterday, and he LOVED it, he loves being pampered. fifteen minutes of me scrubbing at all his itchy spots and spraying water in his mouth to keep him happy when i have to hose his face, and he looks so lovely clean now!!!!!

i know, i know, its sounds gross lol but it’s really not so bad. we caught it very early and he gets those baths twice a week, so it’s cleared up really well!!! 

it’s simply the time of year, i think. hot and humid, ponies sweating under their rugs, too many of them with stupid injuries - fudge had surgery on two of his legs a few months ago, and he’s about to start rehab; lulu got a.... skin cancer??? cut out of her stomach, and that’s been delightfully gross to maintain; rudi’s vice is flies - he’s very sensitive on his legs, and kicks so hard that he cuts his own ankles, poor boy; nikki went lame somehow and no one knows how or why but she seems fine now???????; and we were SO WORRIED that chester had an abscess in his hoof bc a big chunk went missing out of it, but the farrier came for him today and everything was fine, the hole trimmed out clean and simple. 

BIG SIGH THEY’RE....... SO DIFFICULT. so much to maintain, and rumple is as sick as ever but he’s old so that hardly counts. the only ones who are really maintaining themselves are wyn and louie, and i honestly don’t know how louie does it with how he runs around like a maniac all day. BUT ANYWAY!!!!

3 never did end up coming through lol so i’ll move right on

(and then there were 4) What can I say? Your silvered light dazzles even the sun, and inspires the moon and stars with its iridescent brilliance. It'd be a crime to put someone so amazing on hold hahaha.

i dont know much lol but i know im a saggittarius. i seem to be surrounded by scorpios at this point in my life, and i can hardly find a thing to complain about. you’re all absolutely wonderful, and i always seem to be quite taken with your crew’s company ahahaha. 

rather, im surrounded by water signs in general LOL. my siblings are each pisces, cancer and scorpio, i met a bartender last night who was a scorpio, and kimmy is one too lmao yall are everywhere and im Loving it

(#5 comin in hOt) You were also right on the water-affinity thing though haha. I actually knew how to swim before I knew how to walk, believe it or not. Anyway, that picture is absolute /gold/. It really is. And the prophesy was fulfilled so completely that even Voldysmoldy was blown away. You look dashing, by the way! 120/10 best wrapping paper boob stuffer. On the subject of talking though, /holy hell/ don't tempt me I would /gladly/ talk with you all day without hesitation hahaha

LAUGHS thank you i certainly try my best. my brother’s a good sport, and i somehow feel like a strong mix between him and the sister im now living with (the cancer, if you’re curious ahaha). every day we’ll find ourselves saying the same thing at the same time, and every now and then she’ll give me a strange look and say i sound just like leo, or even that i look like him for a moment ahahaha. 

it’s interesting, it’s strange. i’ve always looked up to them so much (being the youngest and all), so it feels oddly like a compliment, whenever these things happen. 

(#6)(just think, two more of those and you get one of me hahaha). Onto the sleeve tho! The circle maze sounds /fantastic/, and I bet it looks really cool right now, though I'm sure the finished product will be absolutely astronomical. The design you have in mind sounds /epic/! (for real though tatts are so expensive I feel your pain there hahaha)(may the Force be with you I believe in you)(you got this)(you SO got this)(you're gonna kick this resolution's ass). {~J}

lmaoo thank you thank you, i intend to bust so much money on it this year. i still have my lower forearm to design, but i’ve thoroughly plotted out the rest of my arm; the maze is given to inception, the next installment will be vaguely reminiscent of kingdom hearts, and pokemon will take up the space from halfway up my forearm before turning into cc beyond my elbow. so it’s just that part on the back of my forearm that is a bit of a blank canvas rn ahahaha

(holy hell I might need more than 7) I regretfully inform you though that I can't and I shan't cease to flatter you, because you deserve to know the truth of how talented and wonderful you are. And I definitely agree on the balance thing. The devil is in the details and complexity is key, so all the more reason to be proud of how amazing your works are! And /20k/? /Damn/ that's impressive! (and even tho I prefer halloween, I for one will gladly plunge back into the tinsel for you hahaha) {~J}

it’s officially 22k but i haven’t had time to work on it the past couple of dayssssss BUT I FIGURED OUT THE LAST SCENE so it’s only a matter of spare time lololol

(#8 because what's second christmas without snowmen? lol) I'm glad to hear you've got a pretty solid sleep schedule by the way! (and it definitely /was/ worth the discomfort)(still slept like a rock the followin night tho hahaha). I'm really happy that Alma appears to be defying the odds by the way! True to their namesake, and all thanks to their wonderful father. Sheesh. I knew you were dynamically skilled, but this just proves you're magical haha. In your care? I know they'll flourish. {~J}

LOL i am LOVING these message starters btw. yesss tho my family has always been keen on growing things lol. mum had a magnificent herb garden, and i’ve never seen oregano as big as what’s growing in my garden rn. we just planted dahlias where the sunflowers used to be and i wasn’t sure they’d be alright, but they really seem to be flourishing!! im so glad!!!!

(9/9 for the new record hahaha) I'm so proud of both you and them! Not to be punny, but I'm a sap anyway when it comes to plants. or, well, all of nature really haha, and Alma looks really great from the pic I saw! Anyway, speaking of hocus-pocusing, I hope today has been absolutely magical for you, as you deserve no less than the wondrous and the fantastic. Talk to you soon, meu amigo bonito! {~J}

lmfaooo i love that. and yes, their leaves are so cute!!!! so small!!!!! thank u so much tho, the past couple of days have been pretty great. I’m wondering if i can worm a morning off out of my sister, considering she’ll have a day off on sunday and i’ll be working at the cafe from 7 lol;;;; i desperately want to finish starboy, but time really is my enemy right now ahahahaa

thank you so much for all this, i adore you and i hope you managed to get to bed at a reasonable time tonight!!!! sleep well, i’ll see you soon