#but it's really a stede and alma story

[hookforahead7]

A Polished Affair (#93): OFMD Big Bang 2023

Title: A Polished Affair Author: RewindTheTapes (AO3) - that's me! Artist: @bogtree6 (https://www.tumblr.com/bogtree6) Beta reader: @yerbamansa Characters: Stede Bonnet, Alma Bonnet, Edward Teach | Blackbeard, Lucius Spriggs Relationship(s): Stede Bonnet/Edward Teach Rating: General audiences Additional Tags: This is a father/daughter story, (As in repairing a parental relationship), Alma and Lucius are friends, the very mildest of angst, Nail Polish, nail salon, some overuse of alcohol but not consistently, mention of "illegal" cannabis use and sales, mention of "legal" cannabis use and sales, past homophobia, Divorce, childhood bullying Warnings: None Summary: As a child, Alma loved nail art. When she was in her teens, she painted the nails of all of her mother’s friends. It was a special way for her and her mother to bond, and to cope with her father’s absence. So she was surprised when, after a reconciliation, her dad asked her to paint his nails. She was even more surprised to watch him become a part of the crew of her nail salon business. But her biggest surprise came when, after some planning by her friend and coworker Lucius, he met her best customer, Ed Teach. She and Lucius watch with great interest as Ed and Stede grow closer and closer with each appointment, and with each painted nail. But when Alma gets a middle-of-the-night text from Ed that something has happened and her dad has run off, she goes from intrigued to worried, and from observer to participant in their odd relationship dance. As she Lucius plan to bring these two bck together, she learns about her dad, and about what it means to find yourself over and over again. Wordcount: 21,928 Art masterpost: https://www.tumblr.com/bogtree6/734462373314838528/a-polished-affair-chapter-1-rewindthetapes Story on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51673093

#ofmd big bang #big bang 2023 #ofmd #stede bonnet #alma bonnet #edward teach #blackbeard #come for the fluff #stay for more fluff #it's a gentlebeard story #but it's really a stede and alma story #come and get your repaired daddy issues

[eddiepeaches]

so a few months ago I went to the WGF library in Los Angeles and read all the scripts for ofmd s1, some of them were later drafts and some were earlier, idk how early but a lot changed. they were good scripts but the final product is MUCH much better, the actors really brought the characters to life and I suspect there was even more improv than we thought there was. anyway I wrote down some of the stuff that I thought was kinda fun or interesting:

-Izzy/Fang/Ivan helped get Stede's ship unstuck in episode 2, their dynamic was less antagonistic and more kinda silly

-Blackbeard was described as having David Lee Roth vibes

-lots more of Pete's Blackbeard stories

-Buttons started the trend of pirates having birds on their shoulders by bringing Karl to the Republic of Pirates

-the crew had a Ye Olde Chore Wheel for the ship

-Jim inspired Ivan to explore his gender identity

-Roach was part of Lucius' little polycule

-there was a cute line where Stede was talking to his daughter and said "your Uncle Edward would love you"

-Alma had slightly more screentime in general, they were playing up her being a tomboy, wearing pants, and working in a stable iirc

-Stede was even more incredibly chill about Doug replacing him lmao he referred to Doug as "your father" when talking to Louis

-the Ed/Stede kiss was NOT in the draft I read!! it was still romantic but they just like bumped shoulders or something

-Stede picked up a waterlogged Lucius before he made it to the desert island to save the rest of the crew

-Izzy was revealed to be one of the Siete Gallos at the very end

#ofmd #our flag means death #gentlebeard #stede bonnet #edward teach

[stizzysupremacy]

okay. Okay so. This is ridiculous but. The idea won’t get out of my brain ever since I started rewatching an old sitcom:

Izzy Hands as The Nanny

no no hear me out.

Izzy works in his bf Ed’s tailor shop (vs a bridal shop cuz even in an au I can’t stretch to see Izzy doing anything bridal for a living) until Ed wants to give Jack Rackham Izzy’s job and oh also he wants to start dating Jack too. So Izzy is out of a job and a relationship that’s been in the pre-engagement state for years. Izzy gets a part time job selling fine chef’s knives door-to-door (instead of makeup. Because it’s a good excuse to slip Steak Knife into the story and also because my bestie used to sell knives and I love him)

Izzy happens to show up at the Bonnet mansion household around the time they were expecting their newest nanny to come for an interview. Izzy thinks he is being invited in to give his sales pitch. In classic sitcom misunderstanding it takes a while for Stede to realize that Short Dark and Handsome here is not actually a manny with a resting rage face.

But by then Izzy has had a chance to interact with Stede’s kids and his household staff. Stede has fondness for anyone who is kind to his kids and has a secret awe for anyone who seems to get along with less awkwardness than he himself does. Izzy just talks to the kids like they are adults because he doesn’t know how else to deal with tiny people except to treat them like big people. Alma appreciates it.

The rest of the household (Buttons as the butler? Lucius as a PA? Roach as chef, Jim as driver, etc you get the idea) are surprisingly on board with hiring the guy who came to the door with a briefcase full of knives to provide daily childcare. He’s got no experience or qualifications but Izzy clearly does not take shit from anyone and won’t get scared off in under two months like the last nanny.

and look, the pay is really good. Even if Mr Bonnet is supremely annoying, he pays well and the kids seem fine, old enough to entertain themselves most of the time and not be very interested in interacting with some greying old man. He can get them to school and home from school, and deal with the occasional snotty cold or scraped knee for such a huge salary, with room and board on top! plus staying in the rich part of town cuts down on the chances of running into Ed and/or Jack.

So Izzy moves into the mansion and chases the Bonnet children around for a living. (Izzy quickly learns that the kids are still young enough to love playing pirates, something Stede started with them but has been too busy to do. Izzy, wearing an eye patch and brandishing a plastic sword, taunts Stede into joining their play by challenging him to duel (yes Stede smacks his ass with his sword))

obvious stede would never get full custody lol so there’s plenty of time when the kids are with their mother and Stede’s only company in the big empty house is Izzy Hands 😮😀

#stizzy #gentlehands #a modern au with an ‘izzy hands is good with kids’ agenda #Izzy hands

[sweet-little-goldfish-stede]

Thinking about Stede building the Revenge for him and his family. How he knew he was unhappy and so was Mary and probably so were the kids, but his first thought/plan A was for them all to go live at sea together instead of running away himself. A stupid plan based on a self-centered idea of what might make things better? Absolutely, he clearly had a monkey playing symbols in his brain listening to Mary talk about her hatred of the ocean. But he built the Revenge as a home for his family, with a room for the kids (Jim and Olu's room?) and a library which contained children's stories and secret passageways for fun, for playing games.

Having listened to a lot of true crime podcasts with shitty-father villains, it strikes me how the idea that Stede could have just taken the kids is literally never touched on. Yeah, he probably knew he couldn't take care of them on his own, maybe didn't want to (we only really see him interacting with them by playing pirates), but Alma and Louis remain the only people Stede has canonically said the words "I love you" to (yes yes he loves Ed he was about to say it to him in s2e4 and switched tactics, but putting them in a similar category with Ed is pretty telling imo). Like...it probably never once occurred to Stede that another man might have taken the kids with him to spite his ex or to live their happy life of playing pirates on the high seas. Mary said I don't want a boat, I don't hate our lives, and Stede went welp, guess I'm on my own then.

There's a lot that can be said about Stede as a distant father who abandoned his family. I'm not saying he's the bastion of perfect fatherhood. But he's so clearly torn up about leaving them because he knows, morally, that was wrong, and even after he sets things right, he still talks about them ("two messed up kids probably/ didn't fit in with Mary and the kids") which tbh, I thought we were never gonna mention the Bonnet family again after s1e10.

Idk. I think Stede loves his kids as best he can for someone who probably never wanted them, and ultimately helped them out in the long run by not having them have to grow up in a miserable household with unhappy parents and an emotionally distant father who simply couldn't do better than playing games with them.

Also, thinking about how a lot of OFMD is thematic rather than verbally explicit...I think it's incredibly telling how upset Alma was when Stede came back, and that she wanted split the orange so they would still be connected no matter how far apart they were. That in a show with pretty heavy-handed symbolism of physically/emotionally abusive fathers and cycles, the kids are never, ever shown to be afraid of Stede, that when they play together they're all happy, that Stede says he loves them even though they were asleep and didn't hear it, and that the one time they physically touch, it's Alma reaching out to tug Stede's hair in a playful way, and he responds in kind. That Stede breaks the cycle of emotionally distant and abusive fathers by A. Not belittling them ever and B. Leaving when he realized his presence was making things worse.

Tl;dr Stede Bonnet is objectively a bad dad, but he still loves his kids.

#idk im having feelings #and im very willing to be wrong on this and hear other opinions #but yeah stede as a dad gets to me #ofmd #stede bonnet #alma bonnet #louis bonnet

[micronopher]

OFMD FICS I'D LIKE TO WRITE POLL...

Mentioned these in another post. Thought more about it, and really want to keep the OFMD love alive. Most of them are Gentlebeard/Blackbonnet and I'm not certain if I even have the capacity to write these since I'm a terrible writer and a chronic procrastinator, but just wanted to see if there's any interest... *Descriptions/synopses beneath the poll.

Descriptions: 1) Condensed LadyHawke!Au - Lovers Ed Teach and Stede Bonnet are cursed by a wicked, jealous sorcerer/warlock/witch (an established character perhaps). Stede becomes a merperson by day, while at night Ed transforms into the kraken. With a zany, faithful crew of misfits, they sail the seas in search of a way to break the curse, remaining always together but eternally apart...

2) Titanic!Au - Stede Bonnet is a penniless old-money heir engaged to minor prince Richard Banes, a creep who promises his family wealth and power. Edward 'Blackbeard' Teach is a wealthy owner of a merchant company who's tired of being stuck in the middle (the pressures of higher class society not being what he expected). Ed goes incognito on the ship as third class, wanting to return to a little more 'simplicity,' while Stede boards first class on the way to his lavish engagement gala. The two meet, sparks fly, but can they escape the oncoming tragedy?

3) Calypso Possession vignettes - the real Calypso (an incorporeal entity) captures the Revenge in a strange mist. They want to experience feelings in all forms, but to do so they must possess members of the crew. Unfortunately, Calypso doesn't really get the concept of asking permission first... they just kind of do it. Yeah that's the problematic part, and it's majorly messed up.

4) Face Touching one-shot - Ed is very sensitive about who can touch his face; Stede understands this and is conscientious of the fact that Ed needs to be the one to set the pace when it comes to physical intimacy, no matter how innocent. One night lying face-to-face in their inn, Stede slips his hand into Ed's, knowing he has permission to at least go that far, and Ed finally lets him explore his face, leading Stede's hand over his features... or more like tracing his features over Stede's hand... a hand that he adores by the way...

5) Helping Alma short story - Alma (hearing that her 'Gentleman Pirate' dad and the legendary Blackbeard have hooked up) writes a letter to Stede, letting him know she's is being horribly bullied at school. Could he and Blackbeard please come and help her scare the little twits half to death, please? This a chance for Stede to finally be there for his daughter, but there's a few options of how to handle this. What would ultimately be best for Alma?

Thank you for voting!

#ofmd #our flag means death #gentlebeard #edward teach #stede bonnet #blackbonnet #blackbeard #polls #fanfic

[forpiratereasons]

ok I have to know what "cross stitch" is

CROSS STITCH MY BELOVED

i already have one cross stitch fic (see here) but i have another plottier one i'm dying to write. for y'all folks who are not in the us, in most states we have state or county fairs, and in most fairs there are competitive categories, and mostly this is like who reared the best pig this year or whatever but sometimes there are fiber arts categories! so it's. a cross-stitch competition au. stede is a newcomer, ed has been sweeping the competition for years.

Of course, Stede has very few expectations.

He’s good at that. A real man of few expectations, him. It’s a skill honed after a long and storied life of constant disappointments, and yes, Lucius, it does sound kind of sad and pathetic when he puts it like that, thanks ever so, but what he means really is: he is unfuckable. He cannot be fucked. What’s the worst that can happen? The worst has already happened.

Horrible father? Check. Absent mother? Check. Loveless marriage to a business associate’s daughter as if this were the eighteenth century? Check. Soulless corporate nepotism job he couldn’t refuse? Check. An MBA degree? Check and check.

Nothing happening at the 52nd Annual Bristol County Agriculture & Art Fair could even come close to fucking Stede after all that.

Of course, he’d had no plans at all to enter the 52nd Annual Bristol County Agriculture & Art Fair. It’s none of Bristol County’s business what Stede gets up to in his own time. But Alma—one of the only two good things that had ever happened to Stede, his kids, his beautiful, intelligent, smart-arse meddling kids—had entered to show a horse, and had also entered Stede. Behind his back. Without asking him.

Stede had not yet worked out whether his ex, Mary, had helped her with this, or her ex’s new fiancé, Doug, and he was inclined not to find out because he rather suspected Doug and it would be a shame to have to hate him before he and Mary even got hitched.

All of this is to say: Stede is competing in the fiber arts cross-stitch competition, category other, and he is trying really very hard to remember that he cannot be fucked, and especially not by the little old ladies and Stepford-style homemakers that make up the judging committee.

Normally Stede quite likes little old ladies and Stepford-style homemakers. They’re incredibly good sources of gossip.

He just does not want to be the gossip fodder himself.

#darcy answers

[manic-fanfic]

I have a thread of my stories and wips on Twitter, thought I'd share here too! Generally all my stories are fluffy with big sappy feelings, sentimentalism, humor, and low to no angst. Always a happy ending, guaranteed. Basically I like writing comfort fics. Here's a link to my works in AO3.

💕💕💕

Rated E. Big feelings, pining, flirting. Strangers to Friends to Dating-But-They-Don't-Know-It, to Okay-They-Figured-It-Out to They-Are-Basically-Married.

Stede is a lonely, jaded matchmaker for rich people and Ed a hopeless romantic romance novelist. After an unexpected meet-cute, these 2 strike a deal to help each other find love. Hm. Wonder where this is headed...

Also, there's a podfic!

🚕 🚕 🚕

Rated E. Stede in heels 👠 and some semi public sex.

A little time jump that takes place midway through Mismatched. Doesn't require having read Mismatched and won't spoil the main story. You just might miss a couple of references. Ed and Stede attend a Halloween party at Lucius's and they get up to some antics.

🎃 🎃 🎃

Rated E, mostly just domestic fluff.

A tiny blonde girl dressed as a pirate sneaks into Ed's bar to hide from her father. That's it, that's the meet-cute. Pub Owner Ed x Business Advisor Stede. Fluff forward, big feelings, smut, StepDad!Ed, and general good vibes.

🍻 🍻 🍻

Rated E

Canon, post reunion one shot. Ed and Stede's first time. Very soft and intimate. Stede just really wants to know how to take care of Ed. (written prior to s2)

☕ ☕ ☕

Rated T. Hallmark Christmassy.

When Ed Teach reluctantly returned to his hometown to care for his sick mother, the last person he expected to run into was his high school crush. Now out & divorced, Stede is struggling to run the local inn. If he doesn't get it together, it may be shuttered by Christmas. Can these two find a way to save Stede's inn, and maybe rekindle an old flame along the way?

🎄 🎄 🎄

Rated General Audience

Fluffy one shot. A young Ed notices a strange blonde kid trying to steal books. From a library, of all places.

📔 📔 📔

Rated General Audience

My work from the #AtoZofEdTeachZine! A soft lil 3k fic, post-canon Alma POV as she shares with her daughter memories of Stede and Blackbeard.

🍊 🍊 🍊

Rated General Audience , Microfic, based on the prompt "20 Years"

A short, sentimental glance into a canon retirement for Ed and Stede.

🎵 🎵 🎵

#ofmd #ofmd fic #ofmd fanfiction #our flag means death #archive of our own

[itachi-with-a-chicken]

Episode 1 season 3

We open the scene on Alma in bed, Mary beside her is telling a story.

Mary: and so Edward wasn't Blackbeard anymore, your father decided that living as a pirate was too dangerous and they decided to open an inn by the sea. The end.

Alma seems to be accepting the story, and quickly goes to sleep.

Doug is shown waiting by the door for them to finish.

They are now in their room, preparing for the night.

Doug: will you ever tell them the real story?

Mary: as if! It's not really like we know it, don't we? Isn't it better for them to believe their father is alive and happy somewhere else?

Doug: And how do we know it's not real?

Mary, getting into bed : well, until we know otherwise, that's the story I'm gonna tell them

They turn off their candles and prepare to sleep, and for a moment everything is quiet and tranquil, but then

* Thump thump thump *

Someone is knocking the door

The scene changes. We see the front door opening. We see Mary pretty pissed off and Doug with a chandelier in his hand as makeshift weapon

Mary: who the hell... Stede??

The camera pans on Stede and Ed, but they are not alone. In fact, between them there is more death than alive Izzy

Stede: Hello Mary, Doug. Dreadfully sorry for the late hours but.. could we come in?

#ofmd s3 #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #david please give me a chance #i can make it work #i sweae #pleaseeee #edward teach #stede bonnet #mary bonnet #Izzy Hands #fix it #sort of

[uselessheretic]

sorry if this is out of left field, but i’ve been thinking abt it for a while…i would consider myself a passive izzy enjoyer and i am not at all an “izzy loved the toe cutting” person, /however/, I feel like you (the general you, not you specifically) can’t deny that he was happy about it after the fact? like the next day the “blackbeard is himself again” line he is definitely jazzed abt that and part of the demonstration that blackbeard is himself is the toe mutilation

also i’ve been wanting to ask more active izzy lovers/supporters, again i enjoy the man and am interested to see where his story goes but i will never ever forgive him for what he did to ed when he was trying to heal, is that something izzy stans don’t think about? don’t care about? take it as a given that everyone agrees was fucked up it so it just never gets brought up? sorry i’m not trying to put you in any specific group if you don’t want to be or assume where you stand but i enjoy reading your meta so was interested if you had any thoughts about it

i feel like a lot of it is up to interpretation! there's not generally one opinion held on things, and i've seen different ways people have read those scenes.

i know that i've seen quite a few people challenge the idea that izzy is "happy" when he does his "blackbeard is himself again" but it's really just how you read it. when you look at how he smiles there, it feels kinda? off?? forced. honestly, i don't think he's actually glad about it, but i also don't think izzy is aware that he's not. i feel like a lot of his emotions ep10 is very mixed up and muddy where he's largely acting from an emotional place while not even knowing what that place is. whether he's actually glad in the moment is something you can read multiple ways imo, but i do feel like even if read as "he's happy this happened" most izzy people would still be like "but that's not gonna last." what izzy thinks he wants isn't in line with what he actually wants, and i expect that to come to a head in s2 as izzy's forced to address the actual root of his issues surrounding ed.

as for the being cruel to ed when ed's sad, again, i just think that's up to the fan. one place izzy stans defs differ is that the majority of them don't view whatever ed was doing as healing. i think it's a mixed bag personally, where ed's first reaction to heartbreak of doing things like reaching out to lucius is good! but it's not perfect where he really comes off like the drunk girl crying in the bathroom when singing his song to the crew. it's definitely better than the fucking kraken though lol but even with ed's song you can see how his interpretation of lucius' "let go and be born again" goes a bit over his head and straight back into suicide ideation. the talent show and the crew's agreement towards it feels kinda like damage control, and another continuation of ed being avoidant to his actual issues. he never actually mentions stede during this time and the first time his name comes up is with izzy who's being an absolute cunt, but it evokes a strong reaction from ed. i don't think ed would be happy if anybody mentioned stede.

in general though, i feel like it is kinda taken as a given that izzy's actions were fucked up, but that it's not on the same level as the way people in fandom talk about it. izzy was being purposefully cruel. he was trying to hurt ed. there can be some reasoning behind it, about whether ed's behavior is threatening their lives or that izzy's acting out from feeling abandoned yadda yadda yadda, but it doesn't excuse it anymore so than it excuses ed's actions in retaliation.

the show is about imperfect people where characters like stede and ed in another show would be straight up villains. stede's literally a deadbeat dad who abandoned his family. if this story was from alma's pov we'd want him dead. ed made fang kill his dog! that on its own is almost always considered an irredeemable offense that automatically excludes a character from redemption, but it doesn't in ofmd. izzy's actions are bad, but they're no worse than stede or ed's. i feel like fans just take it as another continuation of how fucked up ed and izzy's relationship is where you can see the way that they escalate throughout the season dragging each other down deeper.

there's no need to justify it or defend it because why would there be? he fucked up and was a dick. for a lot of izzy stans, that doesn't exclude him from sympathy though. it's just adding flavor to the everything bagel of their cringefail marriage.

#ofmd

[parrlen]

OFMD Big Bang 2023!

Title: I Know I Have to Go Author: Parrlen Artist: Keiko_08 Beta reader: ChaoticTurtleTurtle

Characters: Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet, Alma Bonnet Relationship(s): Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: Kid Fic, Comedy, Humor, post-Season 1, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Stede tries to have a better relationship with his kids, stepdad Ed, Stowaway Alma, BAMF Alma, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Alma is surprisingly at home at Spanish Jackie'z, Alma adopts a stray cat and names it Fruitcake, Pirate Lessons, Action/Adventure, Gratuitous use of parentheses Warnings: None

Summary: Alma Bonnet is a newly-thirteen, bold and intrepid child, and in the process of coming into her own as a teen, she has stowed away on her father's pirate ship. When Alma is discovered, now a many-weeks-long journey away from Barbados, wearing a fake beard and clothes that are much too big for her, Ed and Stede must change their plans in order to return her back home, going from fierce pirates to unwitting caretakers.

Alma's unique charm, wit, and child-like sense of adventure brings out a softer, more protective side in Ed and Stede, who struggle between protecting Alma from the more dangerous aspects of pirate life and letting her find her burgeoning independence. Alma's presence makes Ed and Stede reflect upon their own childhoods, and reminds them that "coming of age" never really stops.

Wordcount: 26,785 Link to story: Ao3

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd big bang #ofmd big bang 2023 #ofmd fanfic #ofmd fanart #stede bonnet #edward teach #alma bonnet

[lacefuneral]

i think we as a fandom need to remember too that stede is LITERALLY a dad. like aside from the whole "i'm gay and i need to flee my comphet marriage" thing he was actually a very good dad. he always played with his kids and read them stories, and when he came home he was so excited to see them and share treasure and reconnect (not realizing that um. you can't really do that if you Go Out For Milk without a goodbye)

he loves his children so much that he feels tremendous guilt for leaving them in season one. to the point where it even manifests as nightmares

he's paternal over his crew precisely because he really is just. a middle aged dad

anyway two reasons i'm making this post.

1. stede is canonically a DILF

2. it makes me go crazy thinking about stede introducing his children to ed, as well as the two of them deciding to adopt their own children together. and also! all of the delicious angst that goes along with both of those things. two men terrified of being bad fathers because THEY had bad fathers. because stede already left alma and louis not once but twice. because, is having more children "replacing" alma and louis? give me 500 stories dissecting this [grabby hands]

#i need stede to Dad and i need him to suffer about it. but then! everything is ok. and he is a good dad :)

[stitchyarts]

Stitchy’s 2022 fic round up!

I’ve been having a really tough few months, so I thought it’d be nice to take a look back at my writing this year, and see the good! I did a lot of longer pieces that I’m really proud of. Maybe you missed a few, or maybe you crossed my path in one fandom, but would be interested to see what I was up to in another, too!

The Return- 1990 IT miniseries, Richie/Eddie, 26k. A backbreakingly canon compliant fix it. The Losers have lost their memory of IT and moved on with their lives. Eddie is resurrected, and starting over on his own terms- except for one tiny catch. Bonus Maturin!! 🐢

The No Weddings Vow- 1990 IT miniseries, Richie/Eddie, Richie&Bev, 30k. Essentially a remix of The Wedding Singer. Richie’s FWB Bev is marrying Shitty Reganite Tom, so he enlists Tom’s driver Eddie to help him sabotage the wedding! Bonus Richie Sister and Nieces, and Outrageous Old Lady Neighbor 👵🏼

Message in a Marmalade Jar- OFMD, Stede/Ed, 12k. A straight up post s1 Fix it! Stede chases The Revenge up the coast on a shoestring budget, Ed grieves Stede, and Lucius hopes somebody’s left alive who can read all these damn messages he’s sprinkling behind them. Bonus goats! 🐐

For a Scoundrel is a Wanted Man- OFMD, Stede/Ed, 4k. Just some established relationship lovey dovey smut. Bonus roleplay 🎭

Sincerely, Captain Thomas- OFMD, Stede/Ed, 4k. A post s1 fix it- done as an epistolary! While each is in harbor for repairs, and looking for some self-improvement, Ed and “Captain Thomas” begin exchanging letters. Bonus Mama Teach Feels ❤️

Ship Full of Nobodies- OFMD, Stede/Ed, 9k. A rotating door of POVs, as the crew encounter and are hired by the Caribbean’s Okayest Boss! Bonus Buttons Backstory 🪶

Crossing The Meridian- OFMD, Stede/Ed, 40k. Deaths have been faked, the dust has settled, and now the Revenge is off to start a new career. They just have to cross an entire damn ocean first. At least that gives a skittish Stede plenty of time for to acclimate himself to he and Ed’s physical relationship. Bonus Visting Your Boyfriend’s Hometown 🏚️

The Runaway Star- OFMD, Stede/Ed, 23k. Loosely a Stardust AU! Stede is a star with a literal heart of gold who’s looking for adventure, and Ed’s a worn out pirate who’s only too happy to trade his mantle for it ✨💛✨ Bonus Ed and Mary besties :^)

Alma the Spy- OFMD, Stede/Ed, 26k. An AU where Stede brought the family along pirating! Alma has a blast learning to swashbuckle from THE Blackbeard, who seems to like Father a whole lot more than Mother does. Bonus G rated Fudgeries 👻

That’s a Very Touching Story- OFMD, Stede/Ed, 49k. A divergence from canon, in which Stede is a touch telepath, and Ed has prophetic visions of people’s death. As they’re so deeply attuned, things can’t help but escalate to the most elaborate pirate wedding ever! Bonus silky things for Ed 👘

#reddie #blackbonnet #it miniseries #gentlebeard #my fic #long post

[carmillas-girlfriend]

🎨 and 🐍 for the ask game :)

Thank you for playing my silly little game!

Mary Allamby Bonnet - I REALLY love Mary!! I know a lot of people are like "theyre three apples tall :)" about characters they really love and that is Mary to me. She was so real for KNOWING that Stede had left and hadn't died but starting a Widows Support Group anyway. I wish her a long and happy life with Doug, Alma, and Louis. I know she will because she has all of Stede's money now. Also I've read a couple Stede/Ed/Mary fics and they're rolling around in my head now if anyone cares.

Archie - I headcanon that Archie has Jack's Disease and is actually only four years old.

I remember Madeleine Sami posting on their insta that Archie was a "big, dumb joy" to play and that is a characterization that I wholeheartedly agree with. I wonder how Archie ended up being picked up by Ed's crew but I'm glad that it happened! I also wonder what kind of fuck ass life she must have led before being picked up by the crew where she's telling a story about being stuck inside of a snake with a HUGE smile on her face and then the explanation "you know cuz it was my birthday! 😃"

On a more serious note, I am also wondering more about Archie's backstory for specifically her actions during the suicide/mutiny night. Ed threatens to kill the entire crew unless Jim and Archie fight to the death, and Jim is immediately arguing with him "your crazy, I'm not doing that, yadda yadda" and then ARCHIE JUST FUCKING DECKS JIM. and then they DO fight a lot. But it's only when Archie is laid out on the deck and Jim is about to kill Archie in an attempt to save the crew that Archie says, "it's okay, its just life". I really wonder what is going on in her head. How much of it is something from her past that makes her feel like her life is so....not valuable? How much of it is her trying to sacrifice herself to save the crew? And how much is it from being on Trauma Crew with the Kraken so long that she also may be suicidal?

#ofmd ask game #mary allamby bonnet #archie

[backhurtyy]

okay hear me out… gentlebeard enchanted au

stede lives in the real world, working a corporate job as a manager or lawyer or something like that. he and mary are divorced amicably after being shoved together because their parents were old family friends, and he takes care of alma and louis on the weekends. all things considered he has a pretty good life, but he’s just… lonely and unhappy and disenchanted with life. he wants companionship, magic, love… the stuff of fairytales.

ed lives in the fairytale world, where he’s still a pirate, still blackbeard, still feared across the seas. but he’s getting tired of that life, of constantly being on the go. his knee gets a little worse with each day, he doesn’t heal as fast as he used to, he doesn’t get any joy from it anymore. he’s bored and tired and lonely, because despite being the most famous pirate, no one really gets close to him out of fear. he wants a quiet life with a partner, someone that he can sit down next to and call home. the closest thing he has to a friend is izzy, but he’s half the reason why ed hasn’t been able to find that— whenever he mentions it, izzy starts going on about how “you’re fucking blackbeard, you can’t fucking retire.”

and then, through some means— a cyclone created by a witch, a spell cast by a rival pirate, whatever— ed is transported to the real world. it’s loud and dizzying and confusing and izzy is nowhere to be found, and ed doesn’t know what to do. he spends the night trudging through the rain and dark, trying to find his way to the ship even though he knows he won’t find it. stede, meanwhile, is picking up alma and louis from mary’s for their weekend at their house, when he finds ed, standing by the billboard of a ship that stands by the mini golf circuit. before he can stop them, alma and louis are rushing out to talk to him, this man in leather with a gun strapped to his thigh.

anyways stede takes him in, because he’s cold and wet and limping and yeah okay maybe he’s a little handsome. but he’s still on edge because he has his kids to look after, and the stories ed tells are definitely not suitable for children to hear and the way he talks about this izzy guy makes stede worry about their safety should he show up, the way ed seems so sure he will. so he takes ed to work with him to try and get him help, but he has no money or ID or passport or anything, so they’re stuck together. they spend the next few days together, eating food and walking around the city, and despite all his worries stede is just so helplessly enchanted by ed and his reactions and his stories and how much alma and louis love him already.

ed, meanwhile, is having the best time he’s had in ages. he’s laughing more than he ever has, his knee has gotten a break due to stede’s heating pad, he’s excited by the prospect of waking up and seeing what this strange world has to offer. but it’s bittersweet, too, because he knows izzy will be looking for him. and when he finds him— he always finds ed, that’s why he’s such a good first mate— he’ll drag him back to their world. away from happiness. away from stede.

sure enough izzy shows up and they get in a big fight, one involving lots of sword fighting and shouting and the vicious sort of bickering that comes with a decades long friendship. finally though ed manages to get izzy pinned down, and he tells him that izzy can go back and take up the mantle of blackbeard, but ed is done. he doesn’t want to leave stede or the life he’s found, because he’s finally happy for once. he’s finally in love with something again.

so izzy leaves and ed stays with stede and his family, and he gets that sense of home and excitement that he’d been craving while stede gets all the love and magic of a fairytale, and they find their happily ever after together.

#this is absolutely consuming my mind. it will most likely turn into a fic. #whether that’ll ever be finished remains to be seen. but i’m thinking about it. #they are just so… something about them finding each other and helping fill the empty spaces. idk. #i love them i love them i love them #also the rest of the crews are there too don’t worry. i just didn’t want this to get too unweildly just yet #our flag means death #ofmd #gentlebeard #gentlebeard ofmd au #nellie.txt

[naranjapetrificada]

fanfic questions - Ways of Wanting (which is GORGEOUS btw): 3 & 11?

Yay, I get to play!

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

That's tough because it's entirely narration! There are two tiny lines of dialogue but I didn't even put them in quotes because it felt like I really was just so inside Stede's head. I guess probably this:

Looking at the skin under Ed's ear and wanting to press his nose there to take the first deep breath of his entire miserable life.

a) because it's part of a list of things and I love lists and b) because it's literally the image that inspired the entire fic after a gif that showed Ed's neck (which we don't get to see much with the beard!) derailed my entire day. It feels weird to be like "omg neck" but if the Vanity Fair pictures taught us anything, it's that Taika's got a beautiful one.

Runner up is the part where Stede talks about remembering how different people took their tea. Specifically letting Alma sneak extra sugar, I guess because I headcanon Stede as an indulgent dad (if not great in lots of other ways) since his father was such an austere piece of shit.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

The non-arrogant answer to this is getting to spend time in Stede's head, because I'm obsessed with what he had figured out when. It's such a universal queer experience, having these impulses and feelings without a name for them, and that way we can both Know and Not Know, you know?

The real answer though is the image of Ed as Venus -- both the image itself and the way the wording finally came together. It was one of the last things I added before deciding the first draft was ready for revision, and if I had written the story for no other reason than to get to that image I'd still be satisfied.

It struck me out of nowhere but I figured that Stede would probably have a classical education. Of course there's the gorgeous painting as well:

but I don't think Stede would ever have seen it, unless someone had had a copy made. And besides, I really was picturing the myth of it all. I could hear the waves crashing and everything.

#asks #ask game #asked and answered #ofmd #our flag means death #gentlebeard #edward teach #blackbonnet #stede bonnet #ofmd fics #fic writing

[micronopher]

OFMD FICS I'D LIKE TO WRITE...

...but probably will never get around to :/. 1) Condensed LadyHawk!Au - Lovers Ed Teach and Stede Bonnet are cursed by a wicked, jealous sorcerer/warlock/witch (an established character perhaps). Stede becomes a merperson by day, while at night Ed transforms into the kraken. With a zany, faithful crew of misfits, they sail the seas in search of a way to break the curse, remaining always together but eternally apart...

2) Titanic!Au - Stede Bonnet is a penniless old-money heir engaged to minor prince Richard Banes, a creep who promises his family wealth and power. Edward 'Blackbeard' Teach is a wealthy owner of a merchant company who's tired of being stuck in the middle (the pressures of higher class society not being what he expected). Ed goes incognito on the ship as third class, wanting to return to a little more 'simplicity,' while Stede boards first class on the way to his lavish engagement gala. The two meet, sparks fly, but can they escape the oncoming tragedy?

3) Vignettes - the real Calypso (an incorporeal entity) captures the Revenge in a strange mist. They want to experience feelings in all forms, but to do so they must possess members of the crew. Unfortunately, Calypso doesn't really get the concept of asking permission first... they just kind of do it. Yeah that's the problematic part, and it's majorly messed up.

4) One-shot - Ed is very sensitive about who can touch his face; Stede understands this and is conscientious of the fact that Ed needs to be the one to set the pace when it comes to physical intimacy, no matter how innocent. One night lying face-to-face in their inn, Stede slips his hand into Ed's, knowing he has permission to at least go that far, and Ed finally lets him explore his face, leading Stede's hand over his features... or more like tracing his features over Stede's hand... a hand that he adores by the way...

5) Short story - Alma (hearing that her 'Gentleman Pirate' dad and the legendary Blackbeard have hooked up) writes a letter to Stede, letting him know she's is being horribly bullied at school. Could he and Blackbeard please come and help her scare the little twits half to death, please? This a chance for Stede to finally be there for his daughter, but there's a few options of how to handle this. What would ultimately be best for Alma?

If these already exist, please drop a rec in the comments?

#ofmd #our flag means death #fanfic #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #ed x stede