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blackacre13 · 9 months

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Please part 2 of eternal sunshine

Part one above. Part two below!

“Ms. Miller, you do understand that once I do this there is no way to undo the procedure? There is no remedy or antidote to bring the memories associated with the subject of your choosing back. And you have signed paperwork and orally agreed that you will not hold me or the company responsible should you regret this decision in the future.”

“Just do it,” the blonde huffed, through gritted teeth. Off like a bandaid. She just needed this done before she could second guess herself or change her mind.

“Ms. Miller, I need your verbal consent before I can—“

“Yes,” Lou breathed. “Yes, do whatever you need to do. I just want her gone. Please.”

“Alright,” the woman nodded, coming up beside her face to place a mask over her nose and mouth. “Just keep your breathing slow and steady. Count down backwards for me from 10, alright?”

10…9…8…what am I doing? This is Debbie…5…4…I love her…3…2…1.

It’s a lot like what she thinks it would be like to die. They say that your life flashes before your eyes. That the things you see in your last few moments are the things that mean the most to you. Lou isn’t dying—she doesn’t think. There’s always a chance with procedures. Especially any kind of procedure that’s experimental and bizarre and with such a high risk. But Debbie did it. And survived. And that empty look in her deep brown eyes as she blinked twice at the blonde, not an ounce of recognition on her face—well, that proved that it had worked for at least one patient. Deborah Ocean had been beyond convinced she had never seen Louise Miller ever before in her life.

That’s what had been the final nail in the coffin of their relationship. It had seemed impossible before then. No matter how many fights or meltdowns or favorite mugs broken. Everything seemed like it could be fixed. And then suddenly there was no chance of that at all. It took two people to fall in love and it took two people to want to fix a relationship. When one of those people wiped the other one completely from their brain, well, there wasn’t much in terms of reconciling. Debbie had taken a lot away from her but this was one thing she could never take back or apologize or make up for. She had taken their memories. Their relationship. Every moment they had shared. And thrown it away. There was nothing stopping her from doing the same.

She hadn’t wanted to at first. But it was too painful. It wasn’t fair. How could she be forced to be the sole survivor of a relationship? The only one who knew the good and the bad. The only one who remembered. She couldn’t. It was too much to bear.

She could blame Debbie all she wanted. She wouldn’t be in this room if it wasn’t for her. For their relationship. For the end. For the procedure. But in the end, it was Lou who had signed the forms. It was Lou who gave consent and lay on this table and closed her eyes and squeezed them tight willing it all to go away. For her to go away.

They told her she would see them. The memories. They had to know they were getting rid of every nook and cranny that Debbie had wiggled her way into. But Lou didn’t know that it would affect her this way. That she would be mourning Debbie in a whole different way.

So it was like dying. Because in her last few moments, she knew what would be flashing through her mind. It would be this reel. This batch of memories that was Debbie and nothing but Debbie.

Seeing her. Meeting her. Kissing her. Touching her. Smelling her.

Breathing her in. Truly knowing what it was like to bask in the sunlight of her. To love her. Protect her.

She wanted it back. That feeling. How it had been to fall for her. To fall in love with her. Her Debbie. Her everything.

Lou couldn’t tell what was real and what was in her head. She knew she wanted to grip the surgeon running the procedure and make him start. That she wanted to snatch the IV out of her arm and rip the blood pressure cuff off as well. Push the nurse to the ground and run from that room. She felt like she was suffocating. Choking on the air that was quickly disappearing from the room. Maybe that meant that she was succeeding. That she was making them stop or slow down or at least confused.

But Debbie was still running through her mind. Dancing, really.

“Let me out, Lou tried to croak, not even knowing if her lips were moving. “I was wrong. This was a mistake. Stop. Please stop.”

She was choking on her tears. Memories were blurring by quicker and quicker. A younger Debbie slipping a poker chip into Lou’s back pocket and whispering in her ear. A crying Debbie sniffling against her shoulder. Debbie on her knees, her hands tugging down Lou’s pants, staring up at her hungrily. Debbie on her knees, sobbing, begging Lou to forgive her through broken gasps.

There was an odd flicker. A moment of silent air. A pop of crisp white. And then an image. Lou knew that place. She just didn’t know why. And who the hell was that woman? She may have looked familiar at one point but Lou sure as shit didn’t know who she was now.

“There she is.”

“You gave us quite a good scare for a minute there, Ms. Miller. Thought we were going to have to stop the—“

“Shhh. Shut it. You’ll ruin the whole point. She can’t know that—“

“What the Fuck?” Lou yawned, rubbing at her eyes. They felt so heavy. She wanted a cigarette. And her bed. And she wanted to know why she kept getting these weird flickers of some sort restaurant. The back of a booth. All she could see was the back of some woman’s head.

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yourlocalmissingtexture · 4 months

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There’s this thing my mom, grandma, me, and some of my great aunts so that I’m sure is pretty common but honestly I don’t see that often (might have something to do with the fact that I don’t get out much but eh). Idk but I really like it because it’s so silly.

Unless the subject is like deathly serious, if people are talking and someone says something just right, we’ll get reminded of a song and can’t help but sing.

Some hypotheticals that I could absolutely see happening because I can’t think of any specific examples:

“Wait you guys aren’t talking about me are you?”

“You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you, you’re so vain (You’re So Vaaaaain), I bet you think this song is ABOUT YOU, DON’T YOU, DON’T YOOOOOOOU?”

“Show me where you found that.”

“SHOW ME HOW TO LIE YOU’RE GETTING BETTER ALL THE TIME AND TURNING ALL AGAINST THE ONE IS AN ART THAT’S HARD TO TEACH”

[talking about a movie] “It came out in 1985.”

“Debbie just hit the wall, she never had it all, one Prozac a day, husband’s a CPA, her dreams went out the door! When she turned 24. Only been with one man, what happened to her plan?”

“I can’t get this thing to go back together.”

“I know the pieces fit ‘cause I watched them fall away mildewed and smoldering, fundamental differing-”

Then of course there’s the random unrelated singing. Mostly Mom and I do that. Often it’s stuff stuck in ours heads but sometimes I’ll just randomly remember a song and have to sing it. We annoy the shit out of each other with those because she listens to tons of slow songs (which are fine! Just most aren’t my thing) and I usually have Insane Clown Posse or Rammstein stuck in mine.

Idk. Family bonding lmao.

#talking to myself #songs in order:#You’re So Vain by Carly Simon #You’re Gonna Go Far Kid by the Offspring #1985 by Bowing for Soup #Schism by Tool #all excellent songs btw #was gonna put this on my nostalgia & gay blog but eh #I’ll let this one slide

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thatsalrightprettymama · 2 years

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If By Chance

A/N: I'm so sorry it's taken so long to finish and post @navia3000 , but here's your request! Sorry it's taken a bit but on the last day of the festival I got taken out by a crowd surfer and sprained my neck and landed a concussion lol 😂, so with my neck brace it's a little awkward to do somethings lol. I hope you liked it! I'm sorry you wasn't well emotionally, so I hope you're better! 💙 I also hope you like the fic! For once I decided to end it fluffy instead of angsty 😂.

Word Count:4,493

Warnings: Fluff, slight angst, cussing. (If I missed any let me know! :) )

Going to the Met Gala was surreal, and you were thankful that Cole had asked you to go with him, but you couldn’t help but feel your chest cave in when you saw him. Despite it almost being a year, your heart still broke when you looked across the sea of people and saw Austin kiss Kaia. Your broke away from the scene when you feel Cole squeeze your hand, tearing your eyes away you look to see him giving you a knowing look and sad smile before you two head inside. “I know there’s always one that got away, and we’re not serious, but try to just focus on me and having a fun night. “ Cole comfortingly tells you as you get into the gala. “I promise for just a fuck buddy you’re gonna have the best date of your life.” He promises as he bumps your shoulder making you smile. “You’re not just a fuck buddy, you’re also oddly my best friend.” You comment with a small smile as you bump his shoulder back before adding, “I’m sorry it’s stupid, but I promise I won’t be a Debbie Downer tonight.” You feel him wrap his arm around your shoulder as you two head towards the bar before he tells you, “Nothing to be sorry for and it’s not stupid. Though if it helps, I’m sure he’s hating seeing you with me of all people.” Cole tells you with a smile as you reach the bar, ordering you two your drinks he leans against the bar and stares at you. “I don’t understand your insistence that Austin hates you.” You tell him as you two grab your drinks. “We only get along for Ashley and you.” He comments as he takes a drink, making you shake your head. “Whatever, but lets forget about him and focus on tonight. “ You comment before taking a drink from your own. “Did you see what Blake Lively was wearing? I swear she’s so gorgeous.” You ask changing the subject making Cole give you a half smile.

You two stand at the bar and talk a bit before you two go and find your table. You smile as Cole pulls your chair out for you making you giggle as you sit. “Alright, have you two pulled a switch-a-roo on me and your really Dylan? Cole’s never this much of a gentleman.” You joke as he sits next to you making him smile at you and roll his eyes. “Three things. First that was cheesy and I don’t know how you didn’t cringe while saying that. Two, I’m always a perfect gentleman and you don’t appreciate that enough. Three it may also have to do more with there’s cameras everywhere so I can’t look like a bad date.” He teasingly tells you making you nudge him. You two quickly fall into conversation as you wait for the dinner to start. Soon you forget Austin’s presence for a bit and start to enjoy your time with Cole. Your conversation is briefly interrupted when they start to bring out the first course. Your all smiles and giggle during dinner as Cole and you quietly make fun of the unique and weird plating and food as dinner goes on. Before the end of dinner, you’re feeling pretty great, and are fully starting to enjoy your night. You almost forget about Austin being there until you’re dancing with Cole. Feeling someone’s eyes on you, your turn your head to glance around and you find familiar blue eyes watching you. Before you could think more of it Cole spins you around before leaning his head down to your ear. “Let him stare, don’t let him ruin your night. “ He tells you over the music and crowd as you two dance. “I know he’s the one that got away, I understand that, but it’s been almost two years don’t let him have hold of anymore of your life or time. He gave that up when he ended it.” Cole tells you before leaning back up, nervously you bite your lip and stare into the honest caring eyes of your friend before nodding.

Giving Cole a half smile you attempt to but your focus back on him and dancing. It works for a bit again until you leave Cole to get a drink at the bar. Waiting on your cocktail you hear a familiar raspy voice ask behind you, “So, you and Cole then? How long did he wait to make a move, a day?” Hearing the snide tone you turn to Austin angrily. “Yes me and Cole. Also do you really have any right to ask or fucking care?” You snap at him, watching his eyebrows slightly raise not used to you taking that tone with him. “I just think it proves that I was right about him.” He snidely snips back after a moment, igniting anger inside you. While yes it was mostly due to him being a dick about Cole, who outside of the sexual aspect of your friendship, has been one of your best friends for years. Cole has been there for you before and after Austin. Though some anger also came from how dare he of all people have an issue with you being with someone else. “No, I think you’re just proving Cole right about you.” You snap at him as the bartender places your drink down. “Also, I think you’re the last fucking person that can say anything about me being with anyone. You and Kaia seemed to find each other not long after you told me you needed to find yourself with no attachments.” You angrily but honestly tell him after taking a drink watching his plush lips pull downwards into a frown. “You know what? No.” You suddenly say not giving Austin a chance to say anything before you continue to angrily spit, “I’m going to go enjoy my night, I suggest you do the same.” Taking a drink you stalk back towards Cole, forcing the scowl off your face as you get closer to the floor, ignoring the feeling of Austin’s stare as you walk off. Reaching Cole you wrap you arms around him, still fired up you smile and quickly tell him, “Just go with it.”, before crashing your lips into his. While over the past few months you shared many kisses with Cole, this one was different. It was harsh angry and passionate, and after a brief moment you feel his hands grip your hips as he returns it. “Y’know I think I might just start pissing you off myself if that’s what I get when your angry.” Cole jokes as you two break apart for air making you throw your head back and laugh. “If you’re the cause, I don’t think it’ll work out like you’re thinking but I’m glad to know you liked it.” You flirtatiously joke as you two begin to sway as the next song begins at a slower tempo. “While I won’t complain about that kiss, you ok though? Do I need to actually cause a TMZ moment?” He asks staring down at you as you two continue to sway. Biting your lip you nod. “Yeah, I just didn’t expect him to piss me off that much. Plus I kinda wanted to give him something to see. I finally see what you mean about you two not liking each other now.” You tell him as you give him a half smile as you two slowly dance. “Though you’d really cause a TMZ moment for me? I’m honored.” You tease as Cole spins you as you giggle before pulling you back closer to him. “Only for you, Ashley, and Brenda.” He quickly quips his answer back making you shake your head. “Not Dylan?” You ask smiling making him shake his head. “Pfft Dylan’s his own man, he can handle his own situations.” He playfully scoffs making you shake your head. “I don’t get how you can be mean to the sweet one.” You tease making him scoff again. “I don’t know why people think he’s sweet, he’s a little shit.” He comments as you two dance, and it wasn’t long that you started to enjoy your night again.

The hours pass and you enjoy your time with Cole as the time begins to fly by. You don’t think about Austin until you run into him at the bar again. You were waiting on your drink again when you hear his voice again. “Y/N? Can we talk?” He asks making you turn to him, remembering what happened just hours ago you glance him over before asking, “Are you going to be a dick?”. You watch as he runs his hand through the back of his hair as he bites his lip. “No, I-Uh actually wanna apologize about that.” He admits as he shuffles his feet and reminds you of the Austin you knew. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have tried to comment about you and Cole and I also shouldn’t have let our first time talking in awhile go that bad.” He apologizes to you and looking at him you could tell he was sincere. “I accept your apology, and I’m sorry for my part too. I didn’t help getting snippy back.” You tell him softly as you glance at him, there’s a brief pause before Austin says something that completely shocks you. “ I also wanna apologize for how I ended things. I should also apologize for a lot of things I put you through.” Shocked you watch him run his hand through his hair as he looks at you with honest and guilty eyes. “I’m sure you’re not solely to blame, and you didn’t really put me through a lot Aus.” You say instinctively trying to comfort him causing him to shake his head. “No, No Y/N. I did put you through a lot when I was filming Elvis, and you took it all in stride. “ He tells you baring a part of himself to you after all the time apart. “Then I selfishly and stupidly ended our relationship, hurting you which is something I never wanted to do.” He continues to confess, squeezing your heart with every word. “Austin, you don’t need to do this h-“ You begin to tell him before he interrupts you. “No, I need to do this here cause I don’t know when I’ll have another chance to run into you again.” Austin tells you with a slight firm edge to his voice making you bite your lip as you stare at him, waiting for him to continue.

“I’m sorry for ending things like I did, and just walking away. I’m also sorry for the selfish things I’m about to say.” Austin continues as he furthers your shock and piques your curiosity. “I’ve been watching you all night, and I regret ending things. I should’ve realized sooner that I should have let you in and talk about how I was losing myself. You would have stood by me and help me, and I’d still have the best thing that’s ever been in my life. I’d still have you.” Austin honestly bares himself to you, and while it was everything you’ve wanted to hear since you two split up, it was crushing your heart. “Austin, I don’t know where this is coming from but you have Kaia.” You point out to him as your emotions and thoughts begin to swirl. “This is coming from months of me being ignorant and not being honest with myself, or anyone even Kaia.” He tells you as he bites his plush lips. “I’m ending things with Kaia, it was wrong and selfish to jump into another relationship, especially when I really hadn’t gotten over my feelings for you.” He admits his words fueling the conflicting internal battle going on inside you. “Why, why are you telling me this now Austin? Why now, instead of months ago?” You ask him after a moment as you stare at him. “Because I’ve watched you with Cole this whole night thinking that it should be me.” He honestly answers squeezing your heart. “I’ve watched you smile, dance, and kiss with him thinking of how much a fucking fool I’ve been and that it kills me to see someone else making you smile like that when it should be me.”

“I-I don’t know what to say Austin.” You start to tell him as your mind swirls. “I’ve wanted to hear everything you’ve said since the moment I left Australia.” You admit to him as you start to feel overwhelmed. “But now that I’m finally hearing it, I-I just don’t know how I feel about it.” You continue to admit as you chew your lip. “One hand I know how you feel, every picture I saw of you and Kaia crushed me or every picture Ashley showed me of Juniper that had you broke me, and all I’ve wanted was to have you back.” You painfully admit, watching Austin’s eyes flicker at your honesty. “But now that I’m finally hearing it, I can’t just jump into your arms. You broke me Austin. For weeks I walked around like a hollow shell till Cole and Dylan forced me out of my apartment. Then I’ve spent the past few months getting back to myself.” You emotionally ramble out, taking the moment to be just as honest with him as he was with you. Austin’s lips turn slight down as he bites his lip at your words, hating them but needing to hear them. “I-I’m sorry I put you through that, but I have to know is there any chance at all that I can have a place in your life again?” He asks you after a moment, your emotions flaring strongly in you as you inhale at his words. “I don’t know, maybe?” You rush out as your emotions overwhelm you more. “I-I can’t do this here, I-I have to leave.” You blurt out before rushing past him, not seeing his reaction as you scurried off to find Cole.

“C-Can we leave?” You ask him as soon as you get to him, and as Cole turns around his eyes instantly fill with concern. “Of course.” He instantly answers as he wraps and arm around you and begins to lead you through the crowd. “Are you ok? Did something happen?” You bite your lip before you just say, “Not here, please when we get outta hear.” He nods and continues to lead you to the exit, once you finally get into a car he waits a few minutes before asking you again, “Are you ok? Did something happen?” He softly asks as you two head back to your apartment. “I-I ran into Austin again….he apologized for earlier, but he also talked about somethings.” You begin to shakily explain as your emotions continued to swirl inside you, each conflicting feeling and thought continuing to rattle your nerves. “What did he talk about?” Cole softly asks you placing a comforting hand on yours. “You know despite everything I’m your best friend first, and I’m here to listen or talk about anything. “ He gently says as you pause, trying to gently coax you to continue. “I know, I know you are Cole. It’s just it’s crazy.” You begin with a sigh, starting to open up, “He-He apologized for ending things, and basically asked if there was a chance if we’d be together again after we went back and forth some.” You emotionally admit as you hear him softly sigh. “How do you feel about that?” He asks as you chew on your lip. “I don’t know Cole. Part of me wants to go back there and instantly tell him yes and I shouldn’t have scurried off, another part of me wants to do the complete opposite and get as far away from him as I can in a sense. I love him so much but I don’t know if I could handle throwing myself back into the captivating love that he has just to be broken again. Or what if I say yes and I ruin things cause I get too scared it’s going to end?” You ramble to your best friend as your driven through the city.

“Does that fear really outweigh that want? I’ve watched you struggle to try to get over him Y/N.” Cole tells you softly before giving you hand a soft squeeze. “I know how much you love him, you can try to say you still don’t or that it’s going away, but we both know it’s not. I know it can be terrifying when thinking of all the what ifs, but what would feel worse? Getting back together again and giving it another try to find out that maybe you aren’t really meant to be together, or wondering what would happen if you never took the chance?” He asks you after a pause, making you give him a shaky smile before you sigh as you absorb and mull over his question. “Honestly? I think wondering, never really knowing if we were meant to be despite everything, or that maybe we just really wasn’t but at least we tried.” You softly answer as your eyes begin to burn after a long pause. “I’m scared though Cole, if there’s a next time how will I pick myself up again?” You ask as you nervously fidget with his hand. “I know really deep down I want him back, I want that chance, but that hurt it kind of leaves a mark.” You admit to him and he pauses for a moment before he starts to speak. “Look at me Y/N.” He softly commands making you lift your head. “First of all, as hard as it is put that possibility in the back of your mind. Don’t think about it. “ He tells you giving you a comforting smile before continuing, “Just take that chance a day at a time, and even if it does end up happening, you won’t be alone. You’ll still have me and Dylan. You picked yourself up once, you’ll do it again. You’re a lot stronger that what you think you are ladybug.” You give a soft chuckle at your childhood nickname before nudging him with a soft smile. “Thank you Cole, I swear our friendship might not be normal, but you’re the best friend I could ever ask for. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” You admit pulling him into a side hug as he smiles. “You’d probably be less cool. “ He jokes smiling at you as you two reach you apartment.

Getting out of the uber, Cole walks you to you apartment. “I’d give it a day or two to really think, even though we both know what you’re gonna do, and I’d call him to meet up.” Cole softly tells you as you two reach your door. “Also give it a day or two to let him sweat it out, I think he deserves that.” He adds with a laugh before you two say goodnight. Getting into the apartment you change out of your dress and plop onto your bed with a sigh. You sit there thinking about everything until you turn off the lights and go to bed. Listening to Cole’s advice you wait two days before you decide to reach out to Austin. You stare at his contact in your phone for a few minutes before you nervously hit the call button. Listening to the phone ring you bite your lip when he picks up on the second one. “Hello, Y/N?” You hear his voice softly rasp over the phone. “Hey Austin, yeah it’s me.” You nervously say as you chew on your lip. “I-I uh I’ve been thinking about the other night…” You softly begin as you begin to pace, padding your feet across the cold tile of your kitchen. “I have too.” Austin comments as you continue to pace. “I-Is there any way we can uh meet up or you come over and we can talk about it?” You nervously ask after a pause, listening to him inhale as you chew your lip. “Of course, if you would want I can come over?” Austin softly asks trying not to sound eager. “Um where do you live now?” He asks after a moment, showing a glimpse of his nerves. “Um I live on 10th now, I can uh send you the address?” You ask taking a pause in you steps as your briefly reminded again of how much has changed. Shaking your head you two softly, but awkwardly say goodbye and you send him your address. Nervously you glance around your apartment and compulsively tidy up some, though really it was more trying to purge some of your nervous energy, as you waited for Austin to come over.

The apartment tidied up, you nervously look around your apartment before you hear your buzzer. Going to your door you hit the button and ask, “Austin?” biting your lip you can’t stop the smile as he confirms. Buzzing hum up you nervously wait near the door for him to come up. After a few moments you hear him knock and you nervously answer the door to see him shyly smiling on the other side. “Hey, uh come in.” You shyly tell him leading him into your apartment. “Nice place you have, it reminds me of that apartment you had in Manhattan.” Austin comments as he walks in, still holding the familiar shy smile. “Thanks, and yeah that’s part of what hooked me when I viewed it.” You answer as you two head towards the living room. “Do you want a water or something?” you nervously ask him giving him a small smile. “No, but thank you though.” He answers as he runs a hand through his hair. “So, uh you wanted to talk about what happened at the Met?” Austin nervously asks after a moment as you fiddle with your hands. “Yeah I did, I actually wanted to talk about what you asked…” You tell him as you sit down, taking your hand to motion for him to sit too. You watch him sit down as he stares at you chewing on his soft bottom lip. “Did you really mean any of it?” You nervously ask, watching him instantly nod. “Yes, I swear I meant every word Y/N.” Austin tells you softly before continuing. “I really am sorry for everything, and making the biggest mistake of my life.” You bite your lip as you look and see the honesty shinning through his blue eyes. “Did you really mean it when you wanted to know if there was another chance at us?” You ask fidgeting with your hands as you stare into his eyes, your heart hammering inside you. “I-I did, and I do want to know cause if there is I’ll do anything to have you back into my life.” He admits as he stares back at you, his blue eyes swimming with emotions.

“I want you back into my life too….I’ve wanted that since we split.” You softly admit to him, hope flashing across his eyes at your words.” I still love you Austin, even after all these months, and no matter what I did I really couldn’t get over you..” You continue to admit, starting to bare your unfiltered thoughts. “There is a chance for you in my life if you want it Austin, but despite me still loving you and wanting you in my life I don’t think we can- I can- just go back like the past few months never happened….” You tell him after a pause, nervously watching his reaction as he chews on his lip and his brows furrow slightly at your admission, slightly confused and worried that the conversation may not really be what he was hoping. Though before he could say anything you continue on as he watches you nervously fidget. “I-Is there anyway we can kind of start over? Kind of like starting fresh?” You softly ask him biting your lip as you briefly wait for his answer. “Of course, if that’s what it takes we can start over, and I get why you would want that.” Austin tells you scooting forward in his seat. “While I want more than anything to pick up where we left off, seeing you before I go to sleep and seeing you when I wake up.” He tells you as he blue eyes stare into your eyes, his words bittersweet as they tug at your heart. “I also know that even if we still love each other and aren’t over each other, we’ve been apart for awhile and time always changes things.” He adds making you sigh in relief and your nerves settle some as you realize he gets it. “Thank you, and that’s exactly it Austin. As much as I want to pick up where we left off, there’s been some time.” You tell him giving him a small smile, relaxing a bit more as you watch a smile light his face.

“No thank you, Y/n.” He tells you with a smile before adding, “Thank you for calling me and giving me another chance. After you rushed off at the Met I thought I wouldn’t here from you let alone have you actually take me back. “ Austin’s honest admission hits your heart and your lips briefly turn down. “I’m sorry for running off like that. Also I’d be crazy to not give you another chance Austin and throw away a chance at being with you.” You admit to him causing him to gently reach out and grab your hand, the action making butterflies begin to stir, you almost forgot what his touch felt like. “You have nothing to be sorry for, I probably shouldn’t have done it there but I’m glad I did.” Feeling the familiar callouses that you’ve longed to feel made those butterflies twirl and swirl inside you more. “I’m glad you did too.” You comment as you give his hand a gentle squeeze, watching the sides of his mouth turn up into a smile. “I really have missed you.” He tells you before flirtatiously adding, “I-I’ve also missed your lips, can I kiss you?” You giggle as his cheesy word continue to cause the butterflies to stir. “Mhmm even though that’s probably the cheesiest thing you’ve ever said to me, yes.” You tell him with a giggle before leaning in, as you felt his soft plush lips press against yours you could have sworn you felt goosebumps. Breaking apart you two softly smiled at each other, and while you sat on your couch with him you couldn’t have been any happier. While you didn’t know what your future would hold, and the fear still hovered in the back of your mind, you were so glad to have Austin back into your life.

#austin fic #austin butler fic #austin butler x reader

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m34gs · 7 months

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Ranking the Saw VI victims based on how sorry I felt for them...

...because why not. This is 100% subjective and 1000% unprompted.

Saw VI spoilers, and Saw-appropriate levels of carnage discussion ahead.

Hank the Janitor comes in at number one because I felt so bad for him. Dude didn't stand a chance, and all he did was clean the office and mop floors at the insurance company. I get that the purpose was for Mr. Executive of the company to learn how bullshit and stupid his "formula" for insurance eligibility/coverage is, but I also hated how that trap pitted them against each other, unlike the other scenarios in the movie. I mean, I feel like partly it was just bad luck for the custodian. If he'd been swapped with the secretary, would he have been allowed to live and would she have died? Because there's no way William is going to die for someone, even if he does come to realize how cruel his "formula" is.

Tara and Brent are tied for second place. I know they technically weren't victims of the trap in that they were not forced to do tests and were not harmed, but I think being trapped in a cage for hours watching one man work through various traps where at least one person always died would be traumatizing enough on its own. Then, to find out the man you were watching the entire time is the reason your husband/father is not still alive? That's some emotional damage. I also think Brent is gonna have need some serious therapy because I don't think he was prepared for how gruesome William's death would be when he made the choice to pull that lever.

Addy the secretary. Again, this was another person who was just doing her job. She wasn't the one making decisions, she probably didn't even fully understand William's formula. Most places that deal with sensitive information such as health care or finances operate on a "need to know" basis. You only get the knowledge you need to do your job. She did survive, which is why she's lower than Hank on this list, but she's gotta be traumatized as fuck (I was thrilled to see her in the support group in Saw VII, felt like some good world-building).

Allen is next. Lower than Addy but not by much. I felt sorry for him because he was alone. He had no one to even miss him when he died and that hurts to think about. Also, I did appreciate how William tried hard to save them both and only gave in when he realized that if he didn't choose between them, he would save neither of them. It was a shitty situation all around. Also a barbed wire noose is fucked up.

Pamela comes in at 5. I don't like her. I think she's annoying as fuck and I hate how she acts through the entire movie. But it's a bit sickening to think she was forced to watch her brother's (William) body get eaten away and split in two by acid while he was still alive and screaming. Like, that's just brutal, and whether or not I hate her I think that is just something so horrible to make her watch. I honestly think that they could have done the trap without kidnapping her, but adding her to that mix just added another layer of trauma and desperation and horror to the entire scenario.

Debbie the lawyer and the shotgun merry-go-round are tied here. I really didn't feel much sympathy for any of them. Honestly, I felt like they were all rather shitty people in the movie. They all knew the way things were run in the insurance company, they were all in it together and yet they were all ready to throw others under the bus at the first sign of trouble. The only reason I feel a little bad for them is because they were put in the trap to test William, and so it makes me wonder that if it wasn't for him perhaps none of them would have ended up in a trap at all. Maybe they all would've also been better people without his influence on them at work.

William. He's last. I really didn't feel sorry for him and his suffering during the movie. I think it was a big karma moment, based on how he treated his clients. He had the power to make changes and to work for the people instead of basically robbing them, and he didn't. (and yeah, I think if people pay for insurance and then you deny them coverage for treatments they need, that's fucking robbery. They're paying for a service and then the service isn't delivered? Appalling. Disgusting. I hate that it's real, too. It's so unfair.) People were denied life-saving medications and treatments because of him. Their blood is on his hands. Anyway, out of everyone who died or suffered in that trap, he did deserve it the most in my opinion. No sympathy for him from me.

So, yeah. That's my thoughts. My personal list.

#saw #saw vi #saw franchise #my thoughts #personal opinion

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sukunasdirtylaugh · 2 years

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Andra's 300 Follower Event

a/n: I wanted to make something fun to celebrate the 300 followers! thank you so much for your support on this account <3

explanation: you can choose any character and any prompt for any number of times. you can also add anything you may like, but I can't guarantee I'll add it.

I write for: gojo, nanami, yuuji (18+), megumi (18+), choso, sukuna, toji, and yuuta.

sentence starters

"she's watched that movie 28 times. that's not normal."

"hot, is subjective."

"How much did you drink?"

"it's legal as long as no one sees."

"I bet you were a leash kid."

"he may be an idiot, but he's my husband."

"how did you spell your own name wrong?"

"you are the biggest fucking looser I have ever met."

"well aren't you just a debbie downer."

“Let me guess, you got caught stealing your dad’s stash.”

"it's okay, it's a little just blood."

"I don't like people. Somehow, you're an exception."

"that's it, cry it out baby, I've got you."

"you don't have to be so strong all the time. I can carry some of it too."

"I didn't think anyone could be so...festive..."

"it's a coping mechanism."

"ohh kinky, I like it."

"that's... not what I said. don't put words in my mouth."

"don't judge me, I need to eat my feelings."

“you can hold my hand if you’d like.”

“no one’s ever really stood up for me like that before.”

"you're always here for my food."

"give me your hand."

“keep it. it looks better on you.”

"please don't tell me this is an extra credit assignment."

"are you seriously trying to seduce me?"

"I would have never expected to see you around here."

"I would have his babies."

"use me at your disposal. I'm yours."

Additional AU Prompts

College AU

Modern AU

Highschool AU

Ex-Husband AU

Tattoo artist AU

Hurt/Comfort AU

Knight/Princess AU

Fake Dating AU

Arranged Marriage AU

Friends with Benefits AU

Other (please specify)

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thissugarcane · 2 years

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qaf rewatch, 1x05 notes to self

okay, 1x05 random thoughts.

first, this is too egregious to put behind a cut: Lindsay drops by Brian's loft without calling or otherwise giving notice to him while in just the last episode lindsay's wife goes apeshit at Brian for doing EXACTLY THE SAME THING. like jesus christ!!! obviously it's a saturday or sunday because his trick is still there and brian was so out of it the night before he doesn't remember who the guy is

also, Brian flat-out says Mel's jealous because Lindsay loves Brian more than Mel and Lindsay doesn't deny it; she just changes the subject and says they have to all get along

Jenn's therapist looks pretty queer, ngl

"Justin, how can you possibly know now, who you are?" I think this is the centre of Jenn's whole issue: that he's too young to be this determined. Brian never makes that mistake.

Brian trying to explain to Justin that Jenn's trying, which is something

Mel and Lindsay arguing about Brian again really makes it seem like until now, Mel has basically said "keep Brian out of my life"? like, they haven't actually had to get along until Gus came along

aww, brian throws out the trick that's mean to Justin! like sure, he's annoyed by having to do it but if he really didn't care what happened he'd just throw Justin out again.

"considering some of the other things I've done" "yeah but that was for fun! you've never done anything like this [re: Brian's client wanting to fuck him]." "you're so beautifully naive, mikey." I still wonder if some time in the past, did Brian escort or similar -- and just never admit it to anyone.

jenn yelling "stop running from me because I'm not running from you!" in front of the snotty private school kids: justin came by his drama queen tendencies honestly I guess

Jenn bringing Justin to the art museum: as much as she's trying, she's not meeting Justin where he is, she's trying to bring him back to who he *was*, not hearing that he's not the same person anymore. (also, I wonder if he actually got fucked in a museum bathroom, or just gave a blowjob)

"the point of a date... is to get to know the other person before you fuck them." "what if you don't like them?" brian: "worse yet, what if you do?" Brian, king of "keep sex and friends" a thousand miles apart at a minimum

brian turning down his client because his daughter is hurt: not because he cares about some kid's broken arm, but because he refuses to accept some guy playing straight. brian's willing to fuck for money (or the equivalent) but he draws the line, apparently, at people who don't live their authentic self? may not be the only reason here that he turns the guy down, but I do think it's a part

aww, Brian with Gus! he wants to be a good dad, even if he's not a straight-playing stepford parent (like everybody around him is). and really, it would have been nice to see more examples of "it takes a village" than just Brian, and Debbie. like, even Hunter gets the 2.5 dogs / raising kids in the burbs. [insert nonmonogamy / alt relationship / s5 rant here]

#queer as folk us #qaf #og qaf

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openingnightposts · 3 months

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#59E59 #OffBroadway #TheSweetSpot #TulisMcCall

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geekgemsspooksandtoons · 8 months

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Possible Bioshock story synopsis and characters

I just want to post this because I want to do something with Bioshock again ever since seeing The Last Voyage of the Demeter and other feelings I’ve been having. But I do think I become too ambitious with shit like this. This is technically my Bioshock movie here. But I’m going to make some edits to certain things and characters like Elizabeth was originally supposed to be called Debbie.

I may just call this “GeekGem’s Bioshock” instead of Bioshock Rebirth.

Maybe one day, not right now. My head has been feeling weird recently. I may want to write more of this. But it’s so much and...I got to write/complete an outline for this.

This is essentially a new take on the Bioshock series because it’s best to not fuck with the game’s canon. And I legit believe it’s best not to adapt those games because they were not meant to be films.

This was first developed in a draft on March 29th, 2023.

When a distress call from somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean pops up after many disappearances. The US government sends a group of covert ops soldiers aboard a ship posing as a regular cargo ship. But when the mission turns up disastrous when his ship is sunken down, former US Army Ranger and rookie covert ops operative Archie Wynand stumbles upon the isolated underwater city known as Rapture. Built and owned by thought to be dead business magnate Andrew Ryan.

But what appears to be a beautiful utopia is being torn apart by a civil war, classism, and the horrific growing danger of Splicers that were once people. Along with the unsettling nature of children becoming Little Sisters.

To save a Little Sister named Eleanor, Archie must navigate through the city as he is set on a collision course with the Splicers, Atlas, and Andrew Ryan himself. But things become challenging when Eleanor's protector, a Big Daddy is determined to bring her back.

Archie Wynand: A 22-year-old soldier who had endured much trauma during his childhood. A person who hopes his purpose is life is even making a difference. His entire life changes when he arrives in the city of Rapture and meets Eleanor.

Despite not wanting to get involved with the war at first. He makes it his mission to help Tenenbaum develop a cure for Little Sisters and end the war by taking down Ryan.

Used to have a little sister, Miranda, nicknamed "Flower" that had died. Thought of idea on 4/26/23.

Andrew Ryan: The 60-year-old founder of Rapture. Having built the city to be a paradise for the most brilliant men and women and inspired by Ayn Rand. His Objectivist views and other details are the major reasons why the city started to fall.

In a war between the rich and the poor. Ryan tries to keep all control to himself. But when Archie, a soldier enters the city. Ryan becomes Hellbent on killing the soldier before he brings to light about Rapture to the surface.

Subject Delta: One of the original Big Daddies and the first one to successfully ever bond with a Little Sister. More streamlined and agile than later Big Daddies. When Eleanor is taken away, Delta is Hellbent on bringing her back.

But on his collision course with Archie. Delta's purpose slowly changes. Specifically Archie as realizes the similarities between him and Delta.

Eleanor Lamb: A 7-year-old Little Sister that a "Utopian" test subject by Sofia, daughter of Ryan and Jasmine.

Brigid Tenenbaum: One of the leading scientists in Rapture and the creator of the Little Sisters. Horrified by the actions she has done, she has been Hellbent on creating a cure and trying to save as many Little Sisters as she can.

Elizabeth Winslet: A 20-year-old woman that was trying to get around in Rapture before the civil war. And the only person helping Tenenbaum’s quest to save the Little Sisters.

Atlas: A supposed "Voice of the people" in Rapture that Archie despises due to his violent actions and harvesting Little Sisters.

Yi Suchong: The creator of the Big Daddies who survived his near-death experience with a Big Daddy.

Julie Langford: The scientist in charge of Arcadia and able to make oxygen for the people in the city.

#geekgem's writings

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you-show-me-love · 3 years

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How Tami Met Mickey

I really just wanted to write a headcanon of when Tami understood Mickey's existence since we were deprived of their interaction in the show okay bye

Tami was going to kill Lip. She was going to kill him and leave Fred on the dirty floor of the Gallagher house and she was going to disappear from their lives, head out west and hide out in a hair salon under a false identity, because Lip swore up and down Fred's teething ring was here somewhere and the kid was screaming his head off and had been for the last hour.

"Where the hell is it?" She whined, feeling like crying herself as she pushed aside random junk on the floor near where they sometimes set up the playpen.

Mickey descended the stairs into the kitchen, still in his tank top and boxers even though it was well past noon. He grimaced at the sound of the crying baby.

"Will you shut that kid up? Some of us are trying to sleep."

Tami rolled her eyes, disrupting her search of the coffee table covered in crayons and paper. She loved Ian, she did, but she couldn't comprehend why the sweetest Gallagher had up and married this surly, foul mouthed convict. She chose to ignore him most of the time, especially after Lip told her he had been in for attempted murder of one of their family members.

"Believe me if I could I would but he's teething and I can't find his teething ring anywhere and Lip said it was here in this mess somewhere..."

She was rambling, losing her sanity as Fred screamed louder and pulled a fist full of her blonde hair. Maybe Mickey could put her out of her misery since he apparently had no problem killing family members. Afraid to ask in case he took her seriously she shifted Fred to her other hip and pushed her fingers into the couch cushions, trying not to think of what they might come in contact with in the process.

Mickey watched the tall blonde with apathy as he chugged orange juice straight from the carton. He belched loudly and moved back out of sight, running some water and opening the refrigerator. A few more minutes of fruitless searching and Tami decided to give up. She turned to head to the backdoor only to find Mickey there, a wash cloth in hand. She watched, rapt, as Mickey pushed the chilled, damp cloth into Fred's open, wailing mouth, watched as her son clamped down immediately and began to suck. Her ears rang in the blissful silence and she stared at Mickey in awe.

Mickey wasn't looking at her, he was cradling the back of Fred's head and running his thumb along his baby soft hair, a small almost sad smile on his face.

"How did you know to do that?" Tami couldn't help but ask.

"My kid used to cry like that, had to keep this shit on standby for him, twenty-four seven."

Mickey seemed to come back to himself, dropping his hand from Fred's head and stepping back from mother and son. He was back up the stairs before Tami couldn't say anything.

Tami had stopped by too late to have breakfast with the Gallaghers, Lip giving her the extra hour of much needed sleep after Fred kept her up most of the night. She accepted Franny's hug around her knees and gave Fred a tickle and a kiss to the forehead. He smiled around his squishy teething ring and wiggled in the high chair.

Debbie paused her cleaning to pull Tami's plate from the microwave and Tami decided to ask Debbie something that had been on her mind since yesterday.

"So, Mickey has a kid?"

Debbie looked up at her, face twisted in confusion, but she nodded.

"Yeah, Yevgeny. Why?"

Tami didn't know how to answer that. Why did she want to know? Maybe it was because of the obvious.

"But…he's gay."

Debbie rolled her eyes.

"Gay people can have kids." She seethed, indicating to her own mini-me. She shoulder checked Tami on her way upstairs muttering bitch under her breath as she did so.

Fred had been just put down and Lip and Tami were laying in bed, trying to decide if they should use this opportunity to fuck or to sleep. Lip made the decision for them when he pulled off his shirt and rolled onto Tami.

They were kissing, hands roaming, but Tami's mind was on someone else entirely. The trail of kisses Lip was leaving down her body stopped as she asked him what had been on her mind.

"So, Mickey has a kid?"

"Uhhh, yeah." Lip affirmed, looking up at Tami in confusion. "With a Russian hand-whore." He concluded with a light chuckle.

"What?!" Tami sat up, Lip further away from his destination. He sighed and joined her at the head of the bed.

"You good Tamietti?" Lip asked as he watched his girlfriend's face pass through a range of emotions. She eventually shook her head. Lip licked his lips and leaned closer to her, keeping his voice low even though it was only the two of them.

"Look, it's a touchy subject for Ian and Mickey both. Broke Ian's heart to see him marry her. Then Ian stole the baby-"

"Wait wait wait." Tami interrupted, too loud considering their own sleeping baby was just one room over. "Mickey was married before? Ian stole a baby? What-"

"It's best if you don't know just...don't bring it up okay?"

Tami nodded, accepting a few more soft kisses from Lip before they both settled into bed and fell asleep while they had the chance.

Tami couldn't not bring it up, not when Ian was right there, bouncing Fred on his hip and making silly faces. Tami had to get to work but she could spare a moment to ask what had been eating away at her for a week now.

"Ian, can I ask you something about Mickey?"

Ian regarded her hesitantly but nodded. She let out a breath and resolved to satisfy her need to know once and for all.

"He has a kid. He's gay but he has a kid and used to be married to a woman? And you stole his baby? I mean, what is the story here?" She ended with a hysterical giggle, arms smacking against her thighs in exasperation.

Ian went paler than usual, his chin jutting out in a hard line. He stared at his nephew, watched his tiny fingers wrap around one of his own. Tami swallowed at the dark look on Ian's face, sudden regret for not following Lip's advice filling her.

"Back when we were kids Mickey's dad caught us. The homphobic prick beat Mickey bad and forced him to fuck a woman in front of me." Ian's voice was rough as sandpaper only making Tami feel worse.

"Mickey got her knocked up, married her, thought we could still bang in secret, but I took off. I came back and we tried to make it work but then I had a manic episode and took off with Yevgeny. I wanted him to be mine, be ours. My brain just ran away with the idea."

Tami's knees were weak and she backed herself into the nearest chair. She knew about Ian's disorder, but had never witnessed it, never heard them talk about it much at all, and she understood why looking at Ian now, seeing how much guilt and pain he internalized over what he did when he had no control.

"Svetlana filed for divorce while Mickey was in prison, married some old rich bastard, and disappeared. Mickey's never tried to find them, don't think either of us deserve to at this point."

Ian sighed, finally looking Tami in the eye. She could only stare helplessly back in the wake of his words. Mickey wasn't just some convict Ian brought home after his stint in prison after all. Mouth dry she figured she had already dug herself this deep, what's a bit more.

"He really go to prison for trying to kill your sister?"

Ian made a face of knowing, standing taller and squaring his shoulders, jutting his chin even further in defence.

"Yeah, he did." And with a bit of softening creeping into his hard features he whispered, "He did it for me. Because he loves me."

Tami left a few minutes later, assured by Ian he was fine to watch Fred until Lip came home. She totally cut a client's hair uneven as her mind drifted back to Mickey and what she now knew about the man before today. Turns out she knew jack shit.

Now she knew he was so much more.

Tami threw open the front door of the Gallagher home, Fred crying in her ear after refusing to take his afternoon nap. Two heads turned at the commotion. Quickly Ian halfway off the couch to rescue his brother's girlfriend. Tami ignored him entirely and dropped Fred in Mickey's lap.

"He needs some more of that Mickey magic." Tami explained as the husbands stared wide-eyed between mother, crying son, and each other.

She left them to take a much needed bathroom break. After she was done she grabbed a beer and leaned against the doorway, watching the way Fred squirmed in Mickey's arms as he held him close and rubbed his back. Ian watched the pair with adoration before looking up at Tami and mouthing a simple thank you.

And that's how Tami Tamietti met the real Mickey Milkovich.

#this took over my brain #i had to write it #i see your tami/mickey bff headcanons and offer my own #or the start of it anyway #i think they'd have an interesting friendship #mickey milkovich #tami tamietti #shameless #gallavich #shameless headcanon #chaos speaks

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martyrgargoyle · 4 years

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MASTERPOST TO THE TYLER JOSEPH SITUATION FOR ANYONE CONFUSED!

On September 2nd, 2020, Tyler Joseph tweeted this:

Before this post Tyler has never spoken up about BLM. Many of his fans, especially POC have been asking him to please voice and show support since he has a large influence. Instead, he chose to downplay a movement based on the minority having the courage to face their oppressors that have brutalized and discriminated against them and demand change. Instead of holding this movement as serious and important as it is, he chose to make it a punchline to his insensitive and self centered joke and mocking the people that are risking their lives fighting for a difference.

Tyler Joseph has an estimated net worth of 20 million. That's 20,000,000. He also benefits from being white, cis (and het passing/straight), male, and physically abled. He won't risk being homeless due to being fired (other people signed to the same label has spoken out) or kicked out/evacuated if he spoke out. He won't risk brutalization by the police for speaking out. He would not risk being shot point blank for speaking out. All of these, and more, have happened to people that's fought for BLM. Protesters have been tracked down and arrested and killed. Yet a man with as much privilege as him refused to say anything this entire time.

He is in the position and has power to speak out and influence thousands with his platform and being an idol to a lot of younger teens that take his word as fact and will defend him. This is incredibly dangerous because it starts and gives a pass for racist mindset to younger people, meaning they could think BLM is a joke or not serious or lead to even worse racist thoughts due to them wanting to be like their idol.

Then Tyler proceeded to post this rant on mental health about 40 minutes after being criticized by many fans:

Okay so I have a lot of thoughts on this and dissecting his s*icide baity and victimizing rant.

1. While using humor can be a valid coping mechanism, it has a time and place as well as a subject matter. For me I can say a dark joke on my past abuse. But for someone else, it is not their right to make my trauma their entertainment. Especially if that person is someone that didn't/doesn't face the same trauma and is in a position to benefit from it.

2. Why is supporting BLM such a burden on him? He doesn't face the discriminated they do yet act as if they're a burden if he cannot make their suffering an entertainment. He acts as if saying Black people shouldn't be killed due to their race harms him and he's suffering due to it. Instead of even remaining silent (which is violent and dangerous as well), he went out of his way specifically to mock the movement.

3. He's weaponizing mental health as an excuse for his tone death joke. He's trying to make himself seem the victim for facing backlash and when he first posted these, it was spaced out and had a s*icide baity feel. He shouldn't put POC down to uplift mental health, both are such important issues but instead....

3. He says reminding us what he's 'fighting' for, which apparently is just mental health. But what about POC's mental health, in this case? What about a Black person being depressed and drained and scared because they see their family and friends being killed only due to their race? And on top of that, having to worry if it happens to them as well while constantly grieving? Is that not important or 'worthy' of his support? Or is he admitting he only 'fights' for something that'll cater to and provide for him as well? And that if he can't benefit, he won't care or deem it something worthy to fight for and that he doesn't care? He can't use his mental illness/your shtick as a reason why you will excuse and ignore (and cater to) racism.

But most controversial and insensitive of all he tweeted this with it:

Here he is upfront and clearly defending his joke, despite being told and aware of how insensitive it was. He is admitting he doesn't care about POC feelings or how it impacts them and the way his original tweet has hurt his fanbase. He is defending his mocking of the BLM movement and the people actually fighting while being less privileged than him. He is saying his feelings and his joke means more than POC dying for no reason other than their skin color. He is defending his insensitive tweet knowing it has hurt POC.

He is bluntly being racist and aware of it.

And finally, he tweeted the damage control:

And this is just as repulsive and wrong as his mental health excuse.

1. It was about human rights. There's no way to excuse or lie or downplay it. He literally made a joke about his POC fans begging him to show support and use him platform given his privilege and influence. He can't lie his way through this to excuse himself or try to make people that were understandably upset look like over reacting fools.

2. No room for that? People never said he has to only talk on BLM. If he's waiting for it to stop mattering or trending, it's disgusting. Black lives will ALWAYS matter, it doesn't change based on the hashtag trending or it gaining more attention. He acts as he can't care about two different things or that Black lives doesn't matter as much as a subject that affects you. No one said he can't talk and continue to bring awareness to mental health and for many POC it's more important than ever to have resources and support since they live in a world with a society literally designed to kill and target them. Instead of tweeting one thread or link to donations or awareness to the discrimination Black people face daily; Tyler made a joke, defended it despite it hurting POC, then threw a tantrum for an excuse on why he could never be assed to even pretend to care that much.

3. If it hurted someone? POC were literally telling him from the start it was harmful and damaging. He DID hurt POC but he didn't listen or care until he realized how damaging it is for his career? He isn't sorry he hurt POC, he's sorry he has hurt his career and reputation in exposing his immaturity regarding serious issues. He's ignoring and shifting blame and finally doing even below bare minimum. From the very first tweet to him defending it, he has alerted and told on himself for placing his feelings above Black lives. He deemed a joke on the expense of BLM meaning more than actual Black people's feelings.

Debby Ryan and Josh Dun has both liked his original tweet:

---

As well as these tweets he has had a questionable history. Involving:

Racist tweets from 2015 he never apologized for.

Anti-black lyrics such as in Lane Boy:

'I wasn't raised in the hood

But I know a thing or two about pain and darkness'

And while that can be and is a reference to how mental illness impacts even privileged, it just doesn't sit right with me personally.

He also uses hip hop and rap (a genre specifically tied in and dominated by Black artists and labeled as not real music/easy musix), per example of Heavydirtysoul (just entire second half is continuously putting rap artists down) and Holding Onto You, quoting the song 'Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It' by Dem Franchize Boyz to be below him. (Bridge 2, line one)

Tyler has also refused to publicly disagree with his brother's racist, transphobic, homophobic, right-winged views.

Has not spoken about police brutality before, such as ignoring it until a police officer got killed back in 2016.

---

Please feel free to reblog and add on/talk about your thoughts! :)

#twenty øne piløts #twenty one pilots #21p #21 piløts #21 pilots #tyler jøseph #fuck tyler joseph #josh dun #long post #my post #txt #tyler joseph

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quicksilversquared · 3 years

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The (Not-So) Truther

When a corrupted butterfly flutters by, Lila doesn't hesitate to grab it and hijack the intended akuma form for her own use. Now called the Truther, she forces people to tell lies.

...it's really unfortunate that neither she nor Hawkmoth managed to think her powers all the way through.

*Note: Written pre-season 4 release; as such, it is not S4 compliant.

links in the reblog

"I wanted to help out with the project, but there was a family emergency," Susanna insisted, widening her eyes. "My cousin got hit by a car, and we all needed to help support my aunt. I didn't even have the time to text you guys or email Mendeleev and ask for an extension."

Debbie narrowed her eyes. "And let me guess, you want us to just ignore that we did all of your work for you and not tell Mendeleev that you were completely useless as a group member?"

Susanna gasped, throwing in a sniffle at the last moment. "But I didn't mean to be, there was a family emergency!"

"Just like the last time we had a group project, and the time before that, too?"

"I have a large family!"

"And that large family needs the help and support of a random thirteen-year-old cousin whenever things happen? So much help that you don't even have the time to text?"

"Guys, guys, calm down," Jean-Paul told them, stepping between the two girls. He looked over at Debbie imploringly. "Debs, it's not that big of a deal. It wasn't a large project."

Debbie scowled at him, already feeling her blood pressure starting to rise. All he ever did was make excuses for Susanna, even when she deserved neither excuses nor any sort of help at all. "So it shouldn't have been hard for her to do her part! And it got assigned last Wednesday. You could have started working on it then!"

"I had other stuff to do during the week and I thought that my weekend would be free!"

"Debbie, it's a family emergency, just drop it," Jean-Paul insisted. "Wouldn't you want us to be understanding if you were the one with the emergency and you couldn't get the work done?"

Debbie was pretty sure that she was seeing red. "If I had a family emergency, I would have taken the two seconds that it takes to send a text and let people know ahead of time! And I wouldn't make up a family emergency just because I'm too spoiled to help!"

Susanna reeled back. "You think that I'm lying? That's so- so-"

"It's out of line," Jean-Paul finished. He was frowning at Debbie now. "You can't just go around accusing people of lying without evidence! That's just mean." He turned to Susanna. "C'mon, let's go. I'll tell Mendeleev that you helped, then it'll be two against one."

With that, Debbie's two team members turned and left, leaving Debbie standing in the hallway and staring after them, absolutely incensed. How dumb could Jean-Paul be? It was obvious to anyone with a brain that Susanna was lying and just taking advantage of his crush on her to get out of the consequences of not helping with their group project. And now he was going to tell Mendeleev that Susanna had helped, he was going to lie for her!

Debbie. Was. Mad.

For several minutes, she stewed to herself in the hallway. How was she supposed to prove that she was right and Susanna was a liar who deserved a big fat zero on the project? Jessie was right, two against one saying that Susanna had helped would make Madam Mendeleev believe them over her. There wasn't any way to prove that she was telling the truth.

...or was there? After all, she still had the texts from the entire weekend, their group chat where she and Jean-Paul had essentially planned the whole project by themselves. And the site that they had used to put together their presentation recorded edits and how much time people had spent working on it. Both would prove that Susanna hadn't done any work, and then Madam Mendeleev could reach out to Susanna's family herself to ask about the family emergency and see if it really existed. Their teacher wasn't unreasonable, unlike Ms. Bustier. She would listen if Debbie had the evidence.

Already feeling better, Debbie headed towards her classroom, a bit of a spring in her step. She wouldn't be able to approach her teacher right away- class had already started while she was busy stewing about Susanna and Jessie- but she would no doubt be held for a few minutes after class because of her tardy and she could talk to her teacher then. Their presentation wasn't going to be for a few periods yet, so she still had time.

Across the courtyard, there was a cackle of distinctly akuma-like laughter before the locker room door was casually tossed off of its hinges. Debbie took one look and dove for her class's door.

She didn't know who had been akumatized or why, but she was not going to get caught up in that mess if she could help it.

Lila Rossi was the last person in the locker room. The bell had rung, the other students had gone to class, and she had been conveniently hidden away in a bathroom stall. She needed to be alone in the room to steal something- anything- from Chloe's locker and plant it in Marinette's.

She couldn't do the same thing that she had done before and plant one of her own possessions in Marinette's locker. No, doing the same thing twice in a row would be suspicious. But if she took something of Chloe's, the chances that the bratty blonde would notice and throw a fuss about it the next time she set foot in the locker room were high. And then, once she threw a fuss, everyone's lockers would be searched, and Marinette's reputation would be- well, not trashed right away, maybe, but it would be questioned.

And Lila wouldn't even have to lift a finger. Well, not once the initial stealing and placing of one of Chloe's things was done, that was.

Lila smirked, glancing around one more time before approaching the locker that she knew was Chloe's. She pulled it open, glanced around, and snagged a sparkly bracelet from the top shelf. It only took a minute to move it to Marinette's locker, and then Lila could move on and collect her own things. Before she could finish and leave the locker room, a purple butterfly caught her eye as it fluttered serenely across the room. Lila paused for a moment, wondering who might have attracted the akuma in the first place for half a second before she decided that it didn't matter. The original recipient didn't deserve whatever powers Hawkmoth was giving out today. Without even a second's hesitation, she pounced on the akuma. "Hawkmoth!"

"Hello, Truther," Hawkmoth's voice echoed in her head. "I am Hawkmoth. You're tired of people telling li-" He paused. "Ms. Rossi. Again?" There was a sigh. "Very well. You can take be the new Truther."

Lila screwed up her nose immediately, disgusted at the very idea. "Truther? Why would I want to make them tell the truth? Then my reputation-"

"You didn't let me finish," Hawkmoth cut across smoothly. "Your name will be the Truther, and your powers will force people to answer any question they're asked... untruthfully."

A grin appeared on Lila's face as she realized just what Hawkmoth was suggesting. How it was supposed to help him, she had no idea, but it would certainly help her. "So if I hit Ladybug with my powers and ask her if she's besties with Lila Rossi, for example, her answer will be..."

"Yes, of course, absolute best friends."

"And if I get that brat Marinette and ask why she thinks that I'm lying- if I ask her if she can prove any of my stories false-"

"She'll say that she is jealous or something similar, and that she can't prove that a single thing is fake."

"Fantastic." Lila's smirk turned vicious, and a cloud of purple enveloped her for a moment. When it cleared, the Truther stepped forward. "Time for me to go tear some people down and cement my reputation for good."

Class had just started and Ms. Bustier was in the middle of taking attendance when the door burst open and an akuma stomped through. Marinette took one look at the akuma and her sausage-roll hair and promptly dove under the desk and out of sight before the akuma had the chance to see her.

She didn't know what had caused Lila's latest akumatization, but it was better to play it safe rather than sorry when it came to Lila-kumas. The chances that Lila was going to target her for absolutely no good reason were just too high.

Next to Marinette, Alya gasped and whipped out her phone right away. "Ladybloggers, sound the akuma alert! We have a new akuma at Collège Francois-Dupont! We don't know a name or powers yet, but-"

"I am the Truther, and I am tired of being called a liar by jealous people!" the akuma announced, and Marinette raised an eyebrow. Seriously? The Truther? That was just bizarre, considering Lila's everything. "And I make people tell the truth!"

"Marinette, what did you do?" Alya hissed. "Did you two-"

"I hadn't even seen her this morning," Marinette hissed back, already ticked off. Something about this whole situation wasn't right. The sooner she could get out of here- without getting hit- the better. She didn't trust the Truter or her powers at all. "Someone else must have called her out on her ridiculous stories."

Alya sighed. "Marinette..."

"Why would you get truth powers?" Adrien asked dubiously, standing up at his desk. Marinette very nearly screeched what are you doing?, but stopped herself just in time. She was Ladybug, she had to get out of the classroom without getting hit. "Out of everyone in this classroom, it makes the least sense for you to get powers to make people tell the truth!"

The Truther pressed a hand to her chest, looking offended. "Really, that's so hurtful! You doubt my integrity? Why else would I have gotten powers like this?"

Adrien frowned. "Uh..."

"And for doubting me, you'll be my first subject!" The Truther announced, pointing her baton at Adrien. There was a flash of light before Adrien could dodge, and then the akuma smirked at him. "And for our first demonstration- what do you think of Lila Rossi?"

"She's kind, honest, pretty, and fun to work with," Adrien said at once. His features screwed up as soon as he finished talking. "Uh..."

He glanced back at the class, his gaze catching on Marinette as confusion flashed across his face. The Truther preened.

"You see? I force people to tell the actual truth. People lie to other people, they lie to themselves." The Truther bared her teeth, triumphant. "And the truth tells me that you don't actually think that I'm a liar!"

Marinette frowned from her hiding spot. She knew full well that Adrien did think that Lila was a liar- he knew that she was a liar. He hated working with her, because she was clingy and didn't respect his space and didn't listen to directions during photoshoots. He always said that she was borderline cruel when they were alone and she wasn't playing a part for other people. So what...

Did the Truther's powers make people give answers that she liked? Or was it simpler- maybe it just made people tell lies? The opposite of what they were thinking?

Either way, this could easily turn into a disaster. Unless other people caught on to what Lila's powers actually were, Lila could have her reputation cemented by the end of the day.

(She could not let Ladybug get hit. That- that could be a disaster, depending on what questions the Truther asked.)

But how could she figure out what the Truther's powers actually were? She had to do that in order to figure out how to expose it to everyone else in the class. And to do that...

Unfortunately, she was going to have to give away the fact that she was in the classroom after all. It would be better if she didn't have to do that- it would make it easier for her to get away-

"Wait, dude, I thought that you didn't like working with Lila," Nino objected. "I asked you about it before and you said that she was a pain to work with. But you actually did like working with her? Why would you say that you didn't, then?"

"I was worried about making other people upset," Adrien said at once. "If I admitted that I was actually having fun, I might offend- might offend others."

Marinette forced herself to block out both that and Alya's whispered "see?". It was the Truther's anti-truth powers that were making Adrien say that, which meant that it wasn't anywhere close to the truth. She couldn't get distracted by any of that. She had to focus on the important stuff, like the fact that Nino's comment-slash-question meant that the Truther's powers applied to questions that other people asked, not just what the akuma asked. Which meant that if Marinette asked any questions, the powers would still come into play. But she still didn't want to give away her position. With Adrien under the Truther's powers, Marinette was the next obvious target.

Maybe Alya could ask for her? Yes, that was a great idea!

"Alya," Marinette hissed. keeping her voice low. "Ask Adrien what color the sky is."

Alya shot her a baffled look. "What color- why?"

"Please!"

Alya shot her another look, then turned back to the front. "Adrien, what color is the sky right now?"

Adrien turned to Alya, clearly confused. "It's bright orange."

There was a pause, and then his confusion turned into a grin as Alya frowned, clearly thrown off. Marinette grinned from her hiding spot, absolutely thrilled.

The Truther's powers made people give an opposite answer to the truth, and not just about Lila-related questions. That made things a whole lot easier.

"Ask him what the name of your blog is!" Marinette hissed from her spot. Alya hesitated, then nodded.

"What's the name of my Ladybug blog?"

"The Cat Chat."

"What does Mr. Agreste do for his job?" Marinette prompted. This time, there was no hesitation from Alya.

"What does your father do for a living?"

"He cleans toilets."

"Wait, what the heck is going on?" Nino demanded, standing up. "Literally none of those answers are right!"

"I think," Alya said slowly, realization clearly dawning, "that Little Miss Truther is actually Little Miss Anti-Truther. Answers are the opposite of reality with her." She scowled, turning her phone towards the akuma. "Which, if that is what her powers actually are...that makes me wonder if she was actually lying when she told us all of her stories. She's trying to suppress the truth!"

The Truther snarled and stomped. "That's a lie! I expose the truth!"

"Then explain Adrien's answers!" Nino demanded, straightening up and glaring at the akuma. "When Alya asked him questions, all of his answers were obviously lies. And don't try to claim that he was doing it on purpose to discredit you!" Nino added, jabbing a finger at the Truther. "Adrien clearly had no idea what she was trying to do when she asked her first question!"

The Truther let out a scream of frustration. "He's an actor! Clearly he was acting-"

"You said that your powers make people tell the truth in response to questions, though," Alya chimed in. "No amount of acting is going to be able to override akuma powers!"

"He is, though! And-" The Truther paused, clearly trying to come up with an excuse. "My powers only work when I'm the one asking the question. He's just exploiting a loophole."

"Really." Alya crossed her arms, unimpressed. "Then you ask Adrien what his father does for a living, then!"

"No!"

"If what you said is true, it shouldn't be a problem!" Alix chimed in, surging to her feet as well. "The fact that you're refusing proves that it's a lie!"

"Yeah!"

"Exactly!"

"What a loser, I can't believe that we believed her!"

The Truther shook her head, panic flashing across her face briefly. Clearly she hadn't expected this to happen. "No, you aren't giving me the chance to explain-"

"The chance to come up with more lies, you mean!" Kim yelled. "We aren't fooled anymore, Truther! And because Alya's streaming live, the rest of Paris isn't going to be fooled either!"

The Truther screamed, then dove for Alya. In the split-second before she was tackled, Alya flashed a look at Marinette.

"Run! You're going to be her target next!"

Marinette ran, bolting out of her hiding spot.

"That was really quick thinking, Marinette!" Tikki piped up as Marinette raced down the hallway. If she could get to the library, she could transform, go out the windows there, and then burst through the window of Ms. Bustier's classroom. "Now no one will believe anything that the Truther or Lila says! I was really worried for a minute there that she would force you and Adrien to discredit yourselves!"

"I was worried, too," Marinette admitted. "With those powers, and that name... but at least it backfired!"

If it hadn't, if Alya had given Marinette's location away and she had gotten hit... unless the Truther's powers came to light in some other way, that could have destroyed any chance of ever getting the rest of the class to believe her about Lila's lies. Even if she tried to explain things later on, she would have already been forced to discredit herself and no one would believe a single thing that she was saying.

Not that they had before, either, but there wouldn't even be a glimmer of doubt in their eyes if the Truther had been successful. And that would be super frustrating.

With a gulp, Marinette wondered if that would have been the thing to drive her to akumatization. She probably would have felt absolutely helpless to change anything and furious at Lila, trapped like a caged animal.

It was a scary picture, but at least that possibility was gone.

"We're safe," Marinette told Tikki when she got to a secluded corner of the library. She gave a determined nod to her kwami, already in Superhero Mode. "Now let's go catch ourselves a liar!"

With the entire basis of her powers already debunked and an entire class ticked off at Lila, it didn't take long at all to bring the Truther down. The remainder of Ms. Bustier's class had already half-contained the akuma by the time Ladybug burst through the windows, and with them holding the Truther down, she couldn't throw any blasts at Ladybug. It only took a minute to find the possessed item- a bracelet- and then Ladybug was smashing it and releasing the corrupted butterfly. One purification and a Cure later, and Lila was left sulking in the middle of the classroom floor.

Ladybug frowned at that, slightly puzzled. Usually akuma victims were left somewhat disoriented after they were akumatized. None of them ever remembered what they had done during the akumatization. Everything from when the darkness bubbled over them to the purification was left a blank.

And yet Lila clearly knew that that her lies had been outed while she was akumatized. There was no reason for her to be so sulky already otherwise.

So what did that mean? She would have to talk to Tikki later and see if her kwami might have any ideas. Normally she might suspect that Lila's apparent lack of memory loss had to do with the number of times that she had been akumatized, but Mr. Ramier had been akumatized a ton of times and always seemed to have a moment of "huh?" whenever he came out of it.

...did Lila's response maybe indicate that the akumatization had been a choice?

There wouldn't be any way to prove that if it was true, Ladybug knew. It wasn't like Lila would actually tell her the truth if she asked about it. But it was something that she might have to keep an eye on in the future.

"I would ask if you and Lila were actually friends or not, but I think I might know the answer already," Alya told Ladybug dryly, rubbing at her elbow absently. The Miraculous Cure might have fixed all of the assorted injuries that people had gotten for fighting an akuma without superpowers, but sometimes phantom pains from the injuries that people had gotten lingered for a few minutes. "Wow, that akumatization sure backfired on her. I bet she's ticked off at Hawkmoth right now."

Ladybug had to grin at that. "Yeah, we definitely aren't friends of any sort. And, uh." She paused, unsure about if she wanted to continue. On one hand, it would really help if she could get more evidence either confirming or denying Lila's willing participation in her akumatization, and now that Alya had caught on to the lies, she would definitely be all over that. On the other hand, if she was wrong and Lila hadn't gotten akumatized on purpose, then she might just be stirring things up in the classroom even more. She warred with herself for a moment, then decided to go for it. If it made things worse for Lila, well, Lila deserved it. "I kind of found the akumatization really weird. Like, had anyone even talked to Lila today?"

Alya frowned at that. "Huh. I- I don't know for sure, but I don't think so. The only people who have ever obviously not liked Lila were Adrien and Marinette, and they had gone up to the classroom before Lila even got to school. Then I think Lila went to the bathroom, and- actually, I didn't see her again before I came up, and I was down there practically until the bell rang." She looked at Ladybug and gasped. "Do- do you think that she got akumatized on purpose?"

Well, yes, but Ladybug wasn't about to say that. "I don't know, but I am curious. Do you think that you could maybe do a little investigative work for me and see if anyone talked to Lila this morning before she got akumatized? Talked and implied that she was lying, that is. Or if there was anyone else in the school today who was upset about someone lying, because maybe they would have been Hawkmoth's initial target."

Alya was already nodding. "Yeah, I'll do that! And I'll tell you next time I see you- if it's safe, I know, I know!" she added before Ladybug could say anything. "I'm not going to take any risks or get in your way during a fight!"

Ladybug doubted that a little bit- Alya could sometimes be really single-minded when recording for the Ladyblog and often put herself in dangerous situations without fully realized it- but she appreciated the thought. "Right. And it's not, like, urgent information," she told Alya. "It's not like we could really do anything about it, since akuma victims are off-limits prosecution-wise and we can't prove anything. But it would just be interesting information for the future. So seriously, there's no rush to tell me as soon as you find out, whenever's fine."

(She would almost definitely be getting updates from Alya as Marinette as well, so really, it didn't matter when Ladybug was told.)

Alya nodded, clearly still determined to gather her data as quickly and thoroughly as possible. "Of course! And- and thank you for trusting me with the job after I, uh, didn't fact-check Lila at all before," she added, a little quieter. "I'll do better in the future."

"I'm glad to hear that! But for now- bug out!" Ladybug flashed the class- well, besides Lila, who was still scowling, and Adrien, who had vanished- a smile, then cast out her yo-yo and zipped off before she could start laughing at Lila's misfortune.

Really, if Lila had willingly been akumatized, that was possibly the funniest thing to happen in a while. It had backfired on her spectacularly, destroying all of her credibility in one go. No one was going to believe her now, and unless Ladybug's ears had been deceiving her, Ms. Bustier had already been on the phone with Lila's mom by the time she took off. Lila's kingdom was falling down around her ears, and there was absolutely nothing she could do to stop it now.

And really, it was all thanks to Hawkmoth.

#Miraculous Ladybug #My writing #marinette dupain cheng #Adrien Agreste #not season 4 compliant #I wrote SO MUCH before this season dropped and I can't edit all of it to work with current canon whoops

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gallavictorious · 3 years

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Gallavich Week Day 5: Fix-It / Rewrite

Right, so fix-its aren’t so much my jam, but there is this one weird, weird, weird thing that I’ve (so far) been unable to meta into any sort of sense. Namely, Mickey looking like that in season 11 while apparently not working out. It’s just… uh… he… what? At one point I hypothesized that he’s been bitten by a radioactive spider or the like, leaving him magically super buff, and to be honest, that’s still the most reasonable explanation I can think of, soooo…

Today I'm back at my nonsense to bring you, everyone and especially our dear @gallavichthings, 2,711 Very Serious words about Mickey being a secret superhero. Well. Except for the hero bit.

Read it below or on AO3.

---

In Which Mickey Milkovich Does Not Save the World

Afterwards, he would always refer to it as the radioactive motherfucker bug from hell, but the truth is that Mickey never saw the thing that got him.

He was going about his business (namely poking around the Gallagher basement for any forgotten shit he could sell for beer money now that all the cash from the wedding had been surreptitiously replaced with I.O.U:s) when he felt a sudden, sharp pain just above his ankle. Cursing up a storm, he desperately waved his foot around and lost his balance and stumbled straight into one of the many piles of boxes that littered the basement. By the time he was back on his feet whatever creature that had dug its nasty little teeth/pincers/claws into his tender flesh had scurried off, leaving Mickey with a throbbing ache and a halfway impressive puncture wound on his left leg.

Muttering darkly about fucking Gallaghers being so used Frank they didn’t know how to keep goddamned monster vermin out of their shitty house Mickey limped up the stairs to pour some Jamison on the wound, and then pour some down his throat because he had the bottle out already so he might as well. He borrowed one of Franny’s colourful pirate-patterned band-aids, and when his nosy as fuck ex-EMT of a husband asked about it later that evening Mickey said he’d dropped a can on his foot, it’s just a scratch, man, no you don’t need to take a look at it, just put your fingers back in my ass, please.

Mickey didn’t make a habit of lying to Ian, but he figured that telling the truth would lead to all sorts of questions about why he was in the basement and having to come up with plausible explanation for that when he should just be focusing on getting railed wasn’t part of his plans for the evening. Besides, it wouldn’t be fair to Ian, who’d been getting so worked up over money lately, to distract him with that sort of unimportant stuff while they were banging. Mickey was a considerate spouse.

Thankfully, Ian dropped the subject and proceeded to do his husbandly duty. Mickey went to sleep deeply satisfied.

He was almost as satisfied the next morning when he woke up to realize that the pain in his leg was gone, as were all traces of the wound itself. Mickey had always healed pretty fast, but this was quick enough to have him questioning whether or not he’d really been bitten/stung/whatever at all. Maybe he’d had more beers than he thought and imagined the whole thing… ?

It didn’t really matter, and if that had been the whole of it Mickey was likely to soon have forgotten all about the radioactive motherfucker bug from hell. However, in the next few weeks he started noticing stuff, weird stuff. For instance, it wasn’t just the (possibly imagined) bite/sting that healed far more quickly than normal; it was all the little cuts and scrapes he tended to acquire. A big bruise from running into the table while playing with Franny; faded to nothing the next morning. A cut from the razor; gone within the hour. For the first time he could remember, Mickey looked at his naked body in the mirror and saw not one single wound (though there were still scars aplenty). It wasn’t a bad thing, per se, but it was weird.

Then there was that thing with his muscles. Mickey had been in decent shape for most of his life and whenever he got locked up for extended periods of time he made a habit of hitting the gym on the regular. Really wasn’t much else to do in the joint, and having a decent bulk reminded the other inmates that you weren’t someone they could push around; letting people know that you could beat the shit out of them often meant you didn’t have to actually do it, which saved everyone a lot of time and energy and trips to the prison quack. But on the outside, exercise wasn’t very high on Mickey’s list of priorities, meaning he tended to slim down a bit after a while in freedom.

Not now, though. Almost a year after being out of prison, and he was still as built as ever; if anything he seemed to be developing more muscles, in spite rarely engaging in anything more taxing than vigorous fucking. (Okay, so there was a lot of vigorous fucking, but still. If anyone ought to be building their biceps from the sex they were having, it should be Ian.)

Mickey didn’t mind being inexplicably ripped, though. He felt great, looked great – and Ian seemed to be pretty into it, too. Then again, Ian seemed to be pretty into Mickey whether he wore dirty clothes, sported a beard, sported a dress, or hadn’t showered in a week, so maybe that wasn’t saying a lot.

But even given all that, maybe Mickey still wouldn’t have thought too much about it (he was, after all, very busy being on his honeymoon, which required lots of determined sleep-ins, dedicated beer-drinking, and – obviously – lots and lots of banging) if there hadn’t one day come a knock on the front door. At first he ignored itm in the hopes that someone else would get it, but when it became apparent that a, he was alone in the house, and b, whoever was at the door wasn’t giving up anytime soon, he grabbed the family baseball bat (even big soft ass Larry would react to Mickey opening the door with an extremely illegal gun in hand) and went to answer the insistent knocking.

Outside stood two women, looking an unsettling mix of sober and apprehensive and eager. One of them reminded him vaguely of Angie Zago; the other was taller and darker and quite possibly brooding.

“Can I help you?” he demanded, not quite as rudely as he might have. He didn’t think they were social workers, but one never knew; they’d been checking up on Debbie and Franny ever since Debbie pleaded guilty to statutory rape.

“Mr. Mikhailo Aleksandr Milkovich?” Not-Angie inquired in a polite sort of tremble.

“Who’s asking?” Mickey demanded, feeling a little thrown by the use of his full name. The only people who pulled that out was law enforcement, and neither of these ladies had that feel about them. Especially since they seemed to be… excited to meet him, which wasn’t a reaction Mickey was used to getting. Particularly not from ladies looking like they ought to be out collecting for the fucking Red Cross.

They better not be asking for donations for the Red Cross.

“I’m Tania and this is Dreamweaver,” Not-Angie said. “Can we come in? It’s really best if we talk in private.”

Mickey didn’t move. “Dreamweaver? You kick your mama too many times in the kidneys before you were born or something?”

The women glanced uncertainly at each other. “Mr. Milkovich,” the one improbably called Dreamweaver began, but Mickey cut her off:

“You with the police?”

They quickly shook their heads. “No, we— “

“You here to give me money?”

“No, you see, it’s— “

“Okay, thank you, bye.” But as he moved to close the door, Tania – displaying more spunk than he’d have given her credit for – took a step forward and blocked the entrance.

“Have you been experiencing any strange body phenomena lately, Mr. Milkovich?” she blurted. “Wounds healing very quickly, perhaps, or increased muscle mass?”

Mickey stilled, eyes darting between the two women. Small, small smiles on their faces now, as if they knew they had him. There was a hint of hunger to those smiles, making Mickey feel uncharacteristically uncomfortable. The urge to push Tania back and slam the door shut was strong, but…

“Fine,” he said at long last. “Come on in.”

They better not be fucking cannibals either.

---

They called themselves The Guardians, and they wanted him to save the world.

Mickey asked what numbers they were talking and, after getting bored of their uncomprehending stares, clarified: “How much is it gonna pay? What’s my cut?”

Dreamweaver frowned. “You mean… money? As in a… salary?”

“Yeah, sure. What’s my salary?”

“Mr. Milkovich, saving the world is a higher calling and a duty, it’s not something that– “

“Uh-huh. So, just to be clear, you’re not gonna pay me?”

They weren’t. Mickey laughed in their faces, stood from the couch, and told them bye and good luck with that and don’t let the door hit ya on the way out.

They reasoned with him. They pleaded. They explained, again and again, that after the evil society USCH destroyed The Guardian’s headquarters in a devastating attack, the two of them–and Mickey–was the only thing standing between the world and utter destruction. Surely, he must understand that it was nothing less than Fate that had brought the one remaining Bestower Bot into the Gallagher basement and his path? Admittedly, injecting Mickey with the bio enhancer might have been the result of a malfunction – Tania and Dreamweaver had found the bot dead down the street a couple of nights ago – but didn’t he see that he had been called to serve as a warrior in the fight against evil?

“Yeah, no thanks,” Mickey told them, and then he picked up the bat and waved it around until they took the hint and left.

When Ian returned home a few hours later, Mickey carefully didn’t mention the curious visit or any of what Tania and Dreamweaver had told him. Ian was pretty into saving people and had all these lame ideas about service and honor, and Mickey found it more likely than not that his husband would both be upset that Mickey, rather than Ian himself, had been called as a warrior (it’d be Lip and West Point all over again, Mickey just knew it), and demand that Mickey answer the call and run off like some loon to get himself killed by evil technomancers.

Mickey didn’t particularly feel like dying and he didn’t like the idea of hurting his husband’s feelings either, so he kept his mouth shut and skillfully derailed all of Ian’s attempts at asking about his day by giving him a blow job, teasing him about being a grunt, and allowing himself to be wrestled to the floor when Ian decided he’d had enough of teasing. It was a good evening.

As he lay in bed that night, back against Ian’s chest and with those strong arms wrapped around him, Mickey wondered if it would be worth risking Ian’s reaction by going public. Okay, Tania and Dreamweaver had mentioned how he’d probably gotten a pretty small dose of the bio-whatever-the-fuck, lending him nothing more exciting than enduring muscle mass and enhanced healing, but that should probably be enough to turn him into a cut above the rest, right? He could hire himself out to the highest bidder and make a fortune doing private security or collections or stuff like that. Fuck, he’d even consider taking on jobs for The Guardians, if they just agreed to pay him.

It was a fun thought to play with, but in the end a long life in the shadows made Mickey wary of putting himself out there like that. Besides, he’d seen enough movies to know that it’d probably wouldn’t be long before he mysteriously disappeared to some secret government facility to be experimented on. He’d had enough of the state’s hospitality to last him a lifetime, so thanks, but no fucking thanks.

And that could have been it. Should have been it, but of course Tania and Dreamweaver wouldn’t leave well enough alone. They started showing up at the Gallagher house at all hours, whenever they knew they could get Mickey alone. They accosted him on the way to the Alibi, they sat down next to him on the L, and they left him pictures of puppies with little notes saying stuff like “Only YOU can SAVE him from BURNING. Have a HEART”.

It was exhausting. Fearing the retribution of the cartel hadn’t anything on fearing seeing Tania and Dreamweaver’s disappointed-yet-still-somehow-hopeful-and-terribly-determined faces appear in a crowd, or round a corner, or on the porch when he went out for his evening smoke.

Mickey began to lose sleep. He’d spend the nights tossing and turning, which led to him staying in bed half the day to catch up on much needed rest, and he was often so tired he couldn’t bring himself to put on proper clothes or go outside the door the whole day.

Ian was on his ass about getting a job; he didn’t get that Mickey had a job, and that job was not getting lured into sacrificing his life for the greater good. If Ian didn’t like the prospects of being a prison widow, how offensive wouldn’t he find the prospect of being an actual widower, after his husband got blown to bits by some big bad villain?

It got to the point of Ian initiating a sex strike to force Mickey to get “a real job”, which struck Mickey as really fucking unfair, considering how all he was trying to do was make sure Ian even had a husband to refuse to fuck.

Enough was enough. Something had to be done. Fortunately for Mickey – and unfortunately for Tania and Dreamweaver – Mickey had a guy for everything. As annoying as The Guardians were, Mickey didn’t have the heart to see them killed, but he figured that having them kidnapped and shipped off to some sweatshop on the other side of the world would serve the same purpose. He felt a little bad about it, sure, but he had given them plenty of chances to fuck off. Not his fault they couldn’t respect a fucking boundary.

Mickey called Johnny, told him the score, and a few night later Johnny called Mickey to tell him it was done.

It was done. Over. Mickey would finally be able go about his life in peace again, giving all his attention to his husband and doing his outmost to make him the happiest man alive every single day, even when Ian was annoying as hell and started asking pointless fucking questions about how Mickey was in such great shape even though he never did as much as one single curl up.

I see. So… you’re telling me that you have secret superpowers.

Yeah. Except, not actually secret anymore. ‘Cause, you know, you told me we shouldn’t have secrets.

… yeah, that was three months ago.

Guess it must have slipped my mind, huh.

Must have. But let me get this straight: you couldn’t get a real job because you were busy dodging secret agents, and your muscles are the result of you getting bitten by some magic robot—

Radioactive motherfucker bug from hell.

—and not you sneaking down to the basement to do weights and cardio almost every day?

… oh.

Yeah, oh. Carl told me about it, asshole. He noticed you using some of the stuff down there. Don’t get why you’d wanna keep that a secret though?

…

Mick. We have to be honest with each other, remember?

Jesus Christ, I don’t know, okay? I don’t know.

Okay.

Guess the first time was back when you had that dip a couple of months after the wedding. Few times after that, if we had a fight or whatever and I needed to let off some steam. Then you started working and sometimes I got bored watching TV all day but you were all mopey about your shitty job and me not having any and you have this thing about your body—

I don’t have a thing about my body.

—so I didn’t really wanna rub your face in me having all that time to work out when you could barely squeeze in dozen push-ups in the evening. And I guess I didn’t really want anyone to know that I… cared, or whatever.

Cared? About what? Being healthy? Looking good? Being strong?

Whatever, man, I told I don’t fucking know. Anyway, it doesn’t matter, ‘cause it was a radioactive motherfucker bug from hell that did it.

Of course it was. Come here. Show me what that bio enhanced body of yours can do.

---

Ahahahahahaha, would you look at that. I tried to meta it anyway. 😭😭😭

You might reasonably ask about Mickey’s visit to Kev Fit – how does that fit? WELL, I rather imagine that whatever Mickey does in that basement is enough to keep him fit but still not SUPER hardcore? So when he starts worrying about Ian thinking him weaker than, he decides to take it up a notch and do it properly in a real(ish) gym? And his comment about “not remembering how much working out sucks” is part of the whole “not wanting anyone to know this is something I care to do on the regular”… Yeah, it’s pretty weak. All in all, I’d say the radioactive motherfucker bug from hell is still our best bet. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This is probably the last time I have one of them tell the other a story this week, but I make no promises. These little ficlets don’t tend to go as planned. (Ha! She said, as if there was a plan to begin with. Oh, well. I guess it’s working out so far.)

#gallavich #gallavich week 2021 #gw2021 #ficlet #my stuff

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c-ptsdrecovery · 3 years

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“Is your husband a narcissist?”

“No! I would never use that word to describe him. He’s the nicest guy. Everybody loves him. You would love him if you met him.”

“Yes, that’s what they are like.” The divorce attorney saw Amy’s confused face, walked closer to her and said with concern, “I am seeing a lot of classic signs, Amy. I suggest when you get home, you get a hold of as much information as you can about narcissists because you need to know what you’re dealing with.”

Amy left the appointment in a daze. Narcissist? That was the last word she would have used to describe her husband of more than 30 years. She had always seen him as kind, someone she respected. Their relationship wasn’t perfect, but most of the time she would have described it as a good marriage. She felt lucky to be with someone so easygoing. However, his behavior over the past year had been vastly different from the man she thought she knew. So many things didn’t make sense. The way he was treating her was so hurtful, disturbing, and utterly confusing. Then suddenly, he was done with her. The end of the marriage was shocking and incredibly confusing.

. . .

Amy became a voracious reader about narcissism. She also went to a therapist who was an expert on the subject. The therapist asked odd questions like:

“Did your husband forget things a lot, like when you would ask him to pick up some apples while he was at the store?”

“Yes! About 70% of the time. When he would go to a coffee shop I would ask if he could get me some water while he was in there. He would happily say ‘Sure!’ About 7 out of 10 times he would come back to the car with no water and say, ‘Oh! I’m so sorry. I totally forgot.’ He seemed like he felt bad each time. I would always tell him it was okay. I felt frustrated and confused because it happened so often, but I didn’t feel like it was okay for me to be upset because it was an honest mistake. Is this common with narcissists?”

“Yes. Very. Did he ever go back and get you water?”

“No. Never. I never thought about that.”

“What about your birthdays?” the therapist asked. “What were those like with him?”

“They were awful. But the thing is I can’t tell you exactly why.” Amy’s face scrunched up in confusion. “He wasn’t mean to me. He always bought me gifts. Sometimes took me out to dinner. For some reason, though, I ended up crying on my birthdays and apologizing to him for something. I don’t even remember why now. Maybe not being appreciative enough? He would buy me things, but many times they were things I didn’t want. Then he would tell me a long story about how he found this gift and all the thought and effort that went into it, and I would feel like I needed to have a big reaction even though it was something I never would have wanted. Then I’d feel bad because I was being shallow and not grateful. Birthdays were always disappointing, and I was glad when they were over. They wore me out for some reason. It never felt like he enjoyed celebrating me, treating me. He always seemed irritated that he had to do things for me. Sometimes he would spend a lot of money and get me something grandiose. It actually stressed me out because of the amount of money he used. I didn’t feel like I could say anything because of all the trouble he had gone to.”

“When he gave you big things or made grandiose gestures, were other people around to see?”

“Well, when I think about it, yes. Always... That’s interesting. I never thought about that. I don’t remember any private moments where he would give me something special that showed how well he knew me and how much he loved me. I didn’t feel loved on my birthdays, looking back.”

#covert narcissist #covert narcissism #narcissistic abuse #emotional abuse

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dramaticviolincrescendo · 3 years

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Recently I had this moment where I thought "wow, in hindsight, it seems like ALL the Gallaghers' former partners weren't meant to be there in the long term". Like EVERYONE has treated everyone badly and yet Mickey seems to be a bit of an exception. I think alot of people agree he brings out something in the Ian character (and vice versa). I'm sure it's debatable cause I've definitely seen people call them toxic but I was curious on your take. Why does Ian & Mickey work while for example Fiona & Jimmy/Steve or Lip & Mandy not? I just named those pairings cause they're popular but I'm talking about all their romantic relationships.

That’s such a great point! I think my take on the subject may out me as someone who doesn’t put stock in romantic relationships carrying as much weight in most people’s lives as media would have us believe. There are so many books, movies, shows, songs, and video games that center around romance when Shameless portrays a far more realistic perspective: there are plenty of people who never experience lasting romance, and relationships don’t work just because we want them to. And that’s okay.

Take Fiona and Jimmy: they had so much passion and chemistry. They loved each other so much, even with all the rough patches they went through. The problem is that they weren’t compatible. At that point in her life, Fiona was focused on protecting her family. She was also very young, immature, and proud in a way that is very characteristic of someone in her position who feels like they’re being looked down on. (We see that with a lot of characters.) I don’t think Jimmy was trying to change her, but she saw his desire to help as a commentary on her ability to run the household—as pity, even. Had she met him in later seasons, I don’t think that would have been much of an issue, but I don’t believe that would have changed where they ended up.

I really liked Jimmy. He was funny and genuinely cared about the family. But Jimmy was selfish, entitled, and didn’t want to change. He wanted the excitement of the South Side without the struggles, and the privilege of his upbringing without the responsibility. Fiona was always about taking on responsibilities, even if they weren’t hers to shoulder. The problem with the two of them was something I think a lot of people take for granted in their relationships: both sides have to be willing to compromise, and they weren’t. He repeatedly wanted her to run away with him; she wanted him to let her make a lot of the decisions. Both sides make sense based on their respective experiences and aren’t inherently more or less valid than the other, but it also means that if they weren’t in a position where they wanted to compromise on those things (which they shouldn’t have to if that’s not what they want), they simply weren’t compatible and would be better off with other people.

Lip and Mandy are really the same. They kind of fell together out of mutual attraction but also a need for distraction: Mandy from her abusive home life and lack of options, and Lip from the situation with Karen and Fiona’s initial response to him dropping out. It wasn’t a sustainable relationship, though, because any feelings they did have for one another didn’t override the fact that they used (and, at times, abused) each other. Again, had they been in a different set of circumstances at a different time, that may have changed. The context of their interactions is important, and what they had wasn’t built to last based on what they hoped to get out of it. A lot of Lip’s relationships are like that: they are what the other needs in the moment, whether it’s sexual or for support, and then they eventually fizzle when one side oversteps. That has typically been Lip, because he also preferred to solve other people’s problems and avoid his own. (I am really proud of him for growing out of that.)

We see the same trend repeated with Debbie and all of the people she’s been with, though that has more to do with her personality in some ways. (I don’t mean that as a negative thing. Again, plenty of people don’t want or don’t have the temperament for long-term romantic relationships, and I think Debbie may just be one of those people in the latter instance.) The reasons for Debbie’s relationships have usually been pretty utilitarian. With Matty and Derek, she wanted to seem like an adult, lose her virginity, and escape into the family she always wanted. Neil was similarly an escape, but also a tool to keep Franny. When she questioned her sexuality, the way she framed her first relationship was almost experimental, and the situations with Julia and her mother were always intended to be for the monetary or proprietary gain they offered. Sandy is the first time we’re seeing her fall into a relationship with someone that wasn’t about anything utilitarian, but even now she’s been behaving less like they’re in a relationship while she focuses on herself, and Sandy is the one who takes an active role in Franny’s life on Franny’s terms. I can’t say if it’ll last, obviously, but I just don’t think Debbie is particularly suited to long-term romance. Carl doesn’t seem to be either, but that seems more like a lack of interest in serious relationships. A lot of his have been centered around helping someone or have gone from casual interest to wanting to help. That’s not exactly the foundation for a strong, healthy relationship, nor does he seem to be concerned about that at this point. He’s still very young, so that makes total sense.

Ultimately, I think Ian and Mickey are in the minority because they weren’t looking for a relationship but ended up being in the right place at the right time. I don’t even tend to subscribe to the interpretation that they brought anything out in each other, because all those traits we love (and that frustrate us) were always there. They were what the other needed when they needed them, they shared physical and emotional trauma, and they didn’t want anything from each other besides who they were. Theirs is written as such a pure kind of love in canon, even to the point of being naive on Ian’s side at times, which is why I think so many people are drawn to it and why it’s lasted this long. Ian and Mickey took it one step at a time, and they also got distance from each other. I know everyone hates Mickey being absent, but I think that was so important. Distance allowed them to gain better perspective on their feelings when they didn’t have each other so that they could appreciate just how deeply in love they were. They could ruminate on whether they were compatible, and at the end of the day, they were.

Compatibility is harder to find than fiction tells us, and if you’re not compatible, no amount of compromise is going to work. That’s why relationships are so hard. I think the Shameless writers take a very realistic approach on the subject of romance and family in general. A lot of relationships just don’t work, and many people never end up with a lifelong partner. That’s reflected here. We have Kev and V, who began as an established couple and worked through everything that’s been tossed their way because of how much they love each other. We have Lip and Tami, who have always been very up front about the fact that love isn’t easy and having a kid didn’t flip a switch. And we have Ian and Mickey, childhood sweethearts who sort of prove why it’s so unlikely that people who date when they’re kids will stay together. People grow apart or go through changes that make a relationship untenable, and that’s okay! We need to normalize that as being okay rather than promoting the concept that people should change when they don’t want to. What’s beautiful about them is that they made it work because of the context in which they fell in love and that, while compromise is still necessary, neither needed to change who they were to make it work, which is a very rare thing and portrayed as such on the show.

#shameless #shameless meta #Ian gallagher #Mickey milkovich #gallavich #you asked #i love how this show doesn’t portray people as being broken for not having successful relationships

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