#but it was a dream where i was watching a random tv show from 1986 and i was like Hey is that bobby cannavale.... oh hey...

[wawamouse]

Oz "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" -inspired AU

(Yes this is just me bullet pointing a fic I’m too lazy to write out)

Another strange unethical study gone wrong!

First the snatched inmates return to their pods, distinctly but indescribably Changed

Inmates who weren’t in the study observe the odd, emotionless state of their returned fellow inmates and initial responses range from ridicule and mockery to muttered statements acknowledging how creepy it seems, like all the study participants got brainwashed

Pod by pod, inmates from the study begin to emerge in the mornings, Different. Better?

They are polite. They do not fight. Even the most vile inmate suddenly takes a turn toward expressing remorse! The experiment from the staff’s POV seems to be a success. The inmates have no desire for parole or a hasty release. They will serve out their time quietly and without incident and if/when they are released, they want only to reintegrate into society so quietly that it will be as though they don’t exist. Ideal, no?

Cue increasingly unnerved staff — Sister Pete, Father Mukada, McManus, etc, perplexed by the changes they see

But the study appears to have been a rousing success, so Querns wants more people to sign up, and increase the incentives (incentives that, once the inmates emerge from the experiment, they no longer care about) (they no longer care about anything). The experimental Round 1 group is now moving into some sort of Round 2 involving different therapy treatments, while a new Round 1 is opening for volunteers.

Chico, working in the hospital ward, has been one of the inmates who got roped into helping the outside doctors who have been overseeing the trials. He finds the changes in the inmates very strange although he also thinks they’re kind of funny at first, too (because they don’t really react right to things he says)

But it gets harder to laugh off when Miguel says he’s thinking about signing up the next Round 1 of the study. If he gets the real drug then maybe he’ll finally have a better chance getting paroled

Chico tells him it’s a bad idea. Sure, no one’s brains have bled out their nose yet, but look around man!! Half of Em City has turned into creepy husks of their former selves.

Miguel can’t be talked out of it, so Chico just tries to make sure his name gets out into the control group by breaking into the office and going through the files (cursing under his breath the whole time like whyyyy should he give a fuck) (except that some of the other Latinos have already gone through the trial and they Changed and it scares him a little, deep down. It feels like they've all turned into background extras (lol) with no personality. HE’s not going to take some spooky mind numbing drug but if he’s the only one who doesn’t, he’ll be alone)

As he’s rifling through files he shouldn’t be looking at, he can’t find the subject lists but he does find papers that seem to outline some sort of secondary purpose for the project that no one ever really explained to the participants or the prospective participants. It’s hard to make out what it all means and also Chico’s running out of time (gate opening across the ward, someone approaching) so he just takes one of the papers and crumples up to stuff in his pocket before getting the fuck out of there

Since he couldn’t find the patient list, he’s not sure which group Miguel has been placed into. He’s also not really allowed to be around past the intake assessments so he can only help usher Miguel into a curtained off area and wait for him to emerge. Of course, that doesn’t really tell him anything either. Saying “how was it” and getting a grunt of “fine” doesn’t mean much; it takes a a couple doses for the drug to take effect

Cue Chico staring at Miguel during meals and first thing in the morning, trying to tell if he’s turning into a pod person (much to Miguel's bemusement and then annoyance)… doesn’t SEEM like it… But maybe it’s still too early

Chico’s still got that crumpled piece of paper in his pocket that he presses into a library book and carefully reads in the safety of their pod after lockdown; it's still got a lot of jargon that he doesn't understand and he crawls down to Miguel's bunk to show him. Chico is convinced that the gist of it seems to be that the project is some sort of mind control experiment; it's not that the inmates have been treated and are becoming better, they're just becoming blank slates.

"For what?" "For round fucking two, Miguel."

Unnerved, the next day Miguel agrees to not swallow the pills, just in case he has the real deal. Meanwhile, Chico goes to the only other person either of them can think of for advice: Rebadow.

Rebadow hasn’t taken part in the study. He says he doesn’t take part in any studies, and he’s seen his fair share come through Oz over the years—not since the first one, anyway. The first one?

BACKSTORY UNLOCKED: The year was 1966. Rebadow’s death sentence had just been commuted and he had a new lease on life. Oz’s then-new warden had agreed to let a private research group ask for volunteers among Oz’s inmates in order to gather participants for a behavioral therapy study. It was supposed to be a non-invasive experiment, and after a few weeks of drug trials and feeling no great difference in terms of his outlook on life (physical symptoms: fatigue in the morning and a general brain fog), it was announced that the study participants would be moving on to a new segment of the study. A “physical therapy” room had been set up in an old unused wing of Oz. Here, the participants were given increased/injectable dosages of the study drug and then subjected to various “stimulation” to see how they would react. Bob was place in a chair with a hood over his head and repeated zapped with what felt like an electric charge before the hood would be ripped off and a bright light would be shined in his eyes while a strange indistinct static would be blasted into his ears from a headset. Then he would be asked what the voice had told him and each time he would say that he never hear any voices. This went on and on for what felt like hours and at the end of the day, when he wanted to leave the study, the doctors told him that was alright, but he would just have to take some more medicine before so. Well, he was at this point, quiet wary of taking any more medicine, so he asked instead how much longer the study would be going on. The doctor told him it would only be one more day, and that the final day would really just be the patients getting asked a series of questions while having their brains scanned. Rebadow says that he doesn’t remember the final day whatsoever—just that he went into a room and had nodes attached to his head while he was lying down. The doctors asked him a series of inane questions and then asked him to count down from 10, and then the next thing he knew, he was waking up in his cell. He never did find out what the study was all about or whether it had been a failure or a success, but the research group left pretty swiftly and it was said that they were quite disappointed. One of Rebadow’s fellow participants later went berserk and got sent to Solitary before being transferred to a mental hospital instead, but every one else’s behavior seemed unchanged. Rebadow hadn’t been a particularly violent man—aside from the murder—to begin with, so it was hard to say. But a few weeks after the experiment, God spoke to him for the first time.

Chico: …That’s cool, Bob. What about the shit they’re doing right now? / Rebadow shrugs. He says it seems like whatever they’re doing right now, it must be more of a success. Science these days… it’s not like how it was when he was a young man. Back in his day, mind control was just a CIA pipedream.

Whatever is going on, he advises Chico to tell Miguel to find a way to back out of the study, or to at least make sure he doesn’t get locked into Round 2. Look around: haven’t you noticed?

The pod people emerging from Round 2 have started to cluster together, abandoning their previous affiliations to all shadily meet in the classrooms or gather at lunch tables to sit/stand as if in conference… But they don’t seem to be discussing much at all, or at least, when either Miguel or Chico try to pretend to stumbled across them and see what they’re up to, they fall silent and just make polite, robotic conversation instead

Miguel has experience with pretending to take pills but not actually taking them, so he’s been collecting the ones that he’s been given. He, Chico, Rebadow (and now Busmalis lol) gather around and stare at the little pile of pills Miguel has collected. Of course, none of them are fucking scientists or anything so they just sort of stare at the pills like they expect something to happen.

“Maybe they’re placebos,” Busmalis says. Miguel lifts his head a little and peers around Em City. “I don’t think they’re doing placebos anymore, man.”

Chico suggests they try crushing up the pills and giving it to someone else to see what happens. At such a concentrated dose, if Miguel is being given the real drugs, then surely if they give it to someone else, they'll know right away

Miguel's not so into that plan, but Rebadow reasons that the study drugs don’t seem to actually be actively harming (killing anyone), so Miguel sweeps the pills back into his pocket and says he’ll think about who to dose and how.

Chico’s vote is that Miguel gives it to Torquemada, who’s been running around doing his own thing in the background. It’ll be easier to tell if there’s a sudden change in someone with a bigger personality to begin with, plus fuck that guy for the Destiny business. With the inmates becoming transformed by the study drug anyway, the tits trade in Oz has been suffering a serious demand shortage that has caused some troubles for Torquemada, as his power is now beginning to slip. (“At worst, you’ll be putting the guy outta his misery by letting him join the vegetated masses” is Chico’s twisted logic). Still somewhat conflicted, Miguel agrees.

Busmalis is all “oooh How will you get the drugs to him? Sprinkle it in his food? Mix it into his toothpaste?” / Miguel and Chico just give each other a look.

Smash cut to: they have bonked Torquemada over the head and have dragged him into a supply closet to stuff the pills down his throat the old fashioned way: one guy holding his nose and and mouth until he swallows and the other guy sitting on his legs. Once all that’s done, they knock Torquemada out again and untie him like “now what” / “guess we see if anything happens” and skip off to wait for Torquemada to emerge from his beauty sleep either very pissed off or completely zombified

In the meantime, the inmates coming out of round 2 have formed even more of a peculiar hivemind, moving in packs and generally being very creepy. At night, some of them stand at the glass of their pods, just staring at each other until the hacks tell them to get back in bed.

Of course, Miguel and Chico aren’t the only ones who have noticed the strangeness. One of the bikers whose associates have mostly all been lured into the experiment by that point finally snaps and freaks out—starts wailing on another guy but is quickly subdued by a horde of the pod people, who turn him over to the hacks and confirm each other’s stories that he completely went berserk and needs to be duly punished

Similar incidents arise

Torquemada is discovered wandering around in a complete daze with no recollection of where he is or how he got there and is admitted to the hospital ward for evaluation. Dr Nathan thinks it could be some sort of temporary concussion based amnesia—he does have a bruise on his head, but it doesn’t really seem to account for the severity of his case; his motor skills and reasoning is all there — top notch, in fact, but it turns out he’s not only quite amnesiac but also very susceptible to suggestion and unable to remember too much at once. Gloria thinks they have to send him to the hospital for brain scans altho Querns isn’t so enthused about it, since Torquemada seems physically healthy and MRIs are expensive……. So Nathan just continues to hold Torquemada for observation instead. His condition doesn’t seem to deteriorate but it doesn’t seem to get better, either.

Miguel continues to feel conflicted about what’s happened to Torquemada, thinking the drugs basically gave him dementia or something (Chico: it’s not dementia, it’s mind control!! And if you’re not careful, they’ll turn you into him, too). They have a real philosophical argument about the point of continued resistance and sneak into the hospital ward to see Torquemada in person. Torquemada has no idea who they are and doesn’t hold much interest in anything around him. Just sits patiently in the hospital bed until he seems to pick up on the fact that they’ve sneaked over and aren’t actually working a shift, and then he calls Dr Nathan over who calls a hack over to drag them back to Em City and face discipline for wandering where theyre not supposed to be (Chico tells McManus that technically they are both allowed to be in the hospital ward as inmates; its not really their fault the hack who took them their took his eye off them. It’s a big misunderstanding, yep.)

McManus suspects that they’re (Chico’s) the ones who did something to Torquemada to make him all confused. He doesn’t know WHAT but he WILL find out. Also, he’s very fucking disappointed in Miguel (yeah yeah). It’s been a year and a half since the incident with Ruiz and the evacuation and then repopulation of Oz. Chico just barely avoids the Cage (gets gym and library privileges revoked for a month instead) and is dismissed, with McManus having Miguel stay behind to talk instead. (cue Chico dawdling around the base of the stairs for Miguel to come down; in the mean time, he gets to the enjoy the unsettling stares of the pod people around the unit. He starts to wonder if maybe they’re planning something)

When Miguel at long last comes out of McManus’s office, he seems subdued but just says that McManus suggested that going through with round 2 met help him show the parole board that he’s truly changed (results have been amazing. disciplinary slip hand outs have been at an all time low)

“You can’t.” Miguel only shrugs. “I know,” he says, but he doesn’t seem so sure.

That night Chico stands at the pod wall and quietly reports what he sees. He’s got all kinds of theories about the mind control—theories which Miguel usually listens to, but that night Miguel doesn’t want to hear anything about. He’s been moody about the whole thing since they when to see Torquemada and it’s clear to Chico that Miguel thinks that they really did just give him a concussion somewhat and that there’s no big conspiracy at all. It’s just their imaginations they’ve been letting run wild.

“What about the paper?” “Chico, we don’t know what that shit was talking about! You grabbed ONE paper talking about neurotransmitters and fucking CBT. It doesn’t mean SHIT.”

And Miguel likes Rebadow too, but the man says a CIA experiment let him hear the voice of God. Doesn’t that seem a little insane to Chico? JUST A LITTLE? Has it never occurred to Chico that maybe there’s nothing weird about what’s going on, and he just WANTS there to be so he doesn’t have to face the fact that he’s not likely getting out of Oz anytime soon?

Chico is like YEAH? What about them?! > Points behind him to the rest of Em City and Miguel just says quietly that nobody’s goddamn out there. Nobody’s standing out at the windows communicating telepathically to each other. It’s just Chico standing there making up shit to pass the time.

Chico dives at him and tries to choke him, demanding to know if Miguel’s been taking the pills the past couple of days after all. He took them, didn’t he? They™ got him, didn’t they?

Miguel manages to throw Chico off and hiss “Don’t you get tired of your own bullshit?” just as there’s a sharp rap against the glass and a strong light shining into the pod. The hack tells Chico to go back to his own bunk, but otherwise can’t be bothered to deal with them. Shaking, Chico retreats to his own bed, and sleeps very little that night.

The final day of the round 1 trials Miguel is participating in comes ups and while he’s locked into it based on the contract he signed, he’d originally decided he wouldn’t continue on to round 2 like the researchers will assume he will. Now Chico’s not so sure what Miguel’s plan is. After their argument, it seems like Miguel wants to just succumb to the mind numbing effects of the trial, and there’s nothing Chico can do about it. He does feel a little insane about it, wondering if Miguel is right and that somewhere along the line, he simply went off the deep end and didn’t notice. He’s always been a little ehh in the head but who in Oz isn’t? And he’s never been nuts the way Miguel has been. He’s always been able to SEE reason even if he doesn’t always ACT rational. The transformation of the pod people had seemed like an obvious thing in the beginning; now with everyone else acting one way, and him starting to become part of the irritable, troublesome minority, he’s not so sure.

He gets a last chance to catch Miguel for a muttered conversation as he’s waiting in queue to be called behind the curtain where the drugs are administered for the trial. Chico says that Miguel is right and that maybe he’s just been seeing what he wants to see, but one thing he does know is that Miguel Means Something™ to him , now, after everything, and he doesn't want to lose him to the apathy of whatever it seems like the drugs do to participants

Miguel just gives him a strange look but doesn't have time to say anything else because he's being called in next already. Chico steps back and gestures for Miguel to go ahead

Miguel acts normal coming back from the study that afternoon, but they don’t really get the chance to talk and then the next time Chico sees Miguel is at dinner after Miguel has had a counseling session with Sister Pete, which always puts him in a sort of dull mood, too, all tired from having to think about/remember why he’s still stuck in Oz. This sort of starts to make Chico think Miguel has turned into a pod person, and between Chico’s paranoia and Miguel behavior, they sort of keep at a distance as the unit goes into lockdown for the night. The quiet isn’t exactly unusual tbh but there’s an unease to it that hangs over Chico—keeps him wired, keeps him awake for another night even as the boom of LIGHTS OUT rings through Em City and they plunge into darkness.

The next morning, Miguel is still hard to read, but while they’re standing outside for count, he turns to Chico. Leans over and is like “you look like shit btw” and Chico’s like "Oh thank fuck"....the most beautiful words he's ever heard in his life. It's "You scared this shit outta me" and "You didn't take it?" / Miguel just shakes his head. He looks around Em City and says he doesn't want to be a zombie, doesn't want someone else planting thoughts in his head. Oz has already taken enough from him; when he leaves—and he will, someday—he wants to still recognise the man in the mirror.

It's an uncertain ending: Miguel and Chico have not been turned into the strange pod people... yet... but they’re surrounded by them, and it’s soon announced that the program was a success, and in turn, the Emerald City project looks like a success, and that the entire thing will be rolled out on larger scale to the rest of Oz in the an upcoming phase

---

That's the general idea anyway 🤪 I'm open to riffing on this

I just wanted some psychological vibes for Oz and I rewatched Invasion of the Bodysnatchers last night (the 70s remake)

#text #oz hbo #i originally started writing this last night and then passed out in a delirious haze. yes i DID have a very strange dream. #but it was a dream where i was watching a random tv show from 1986 and i was like Hey is that bobby cannavale.... oh hey... #there's a lot of oz actors in this random medical/police(?) drama??? omg.... #at one point the character were lip syncing 'the call' by BSB in an interrogation room in a very late 90s/early 2000s jumpcut style edit #maybe that was the fever dream of a dying patient idk #but in my dream i started watching the show bc i saw a clip of that scene and was like wtf 😭 #Also kirk acevedo's character (nurse or paramedic of some kind) had a really big dragon tat along his side and i was like SICk.... #but i think that particular detail was bc my tattoo artist sent me a design last night lol #idk where the backstreet boys montage came from. i must meditate on that one. #oz au

[heart-inked]

Warning: really long post I made because I’m bored, if you’re not bored you’re allowed to skip.

BOLD WHAT APPLIES TO YOU

You are female

You received a gift on Valentine’s Day

You have been hit on at work

You have watched someone shoplift

You have eaten simply out of boredom

You are ticklish

You have thrown up in a public place

You had something remind you of your ex that made you miss them

You have been out of the country within the last six months

You have been a designated driver

You have played spin the bottle

You have played strip poker

You have been skinny dipping

You have been TP’d

You have been in a cemetery at midnight

You have made a prank phone call

You have pretended to be your mom/dad on the phone

You have snuck into a movie without paying

You have stolen a street sign of some sort

You have been to Walmart in the past 24 hours

You drive a blue vehicle

You have a some point in time had blonde highlights

You have liked someone and never told them

You have told someone you liked them and was rejected

You have been liked someone you didn’t expect

Your parents are divorced

Both or one of your parents are now married to different people

Your grandma is over 80

You have a tattoo most people don’t know about

You have a tattoo

You have a tramp stamp

You have a tribal tattoo

You have piercings other than your ears

You have your nose pierced

You have your belly button pierced

You have a Monroe piercing

You have gauges that stretch your ear lobes - not anymore but I used to

You have had a crush on a sibling’s friend

You have had a crush on a friend’s sibling

You work 30+ hours a week if school counts towards it

You have received a phone call within the last hour

You were named after someone else

You were born between April & September of your birth year

You were born before 1994

You were born before 1990

You were born before 1986

Your last name has more than five letters

Your last name begins with a ‘C’

Your last name begins with an ‘L’

Your last name begins with an ‘S’

Your middle name begins with a ‘N’

Your middle name begins with an ‘R’

Your middle name begins with a ‘D’

Your first name begins with a ‘B’

Your first name begins with a ‘H’

Your first name begins with a ‘Z’

You prefer taking showers to taking baths

You haven taken a foreign language class

You have taken an art class

You have taken a music class

You own a denim jacket

You own a pair of skinny jeans

You own something tie dyed

You own a ‘little black dress’

You have had to have your pet put to sleep

You know someone who had a late miscarriage

You know someone under 20 who passed away from cancer

You know someone with an eating disorder

You know someone who cuts

You have had your hair down to your waist

You have shaved your head

You have had a mohawk

You have dyed your hair blue

You would get your nipples pierced for $100

You would kiss someone 20 years older than you for $50

You would drink a bottle of hot sauce for $20

You have gone to a dance without a date

You know five people under twenty with children

You have considered joining the military

You are in the military

You are out of high school

You are an Aries

You are a Saggittarius

You are a Pisces

You can tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue

You have dated someone who had a child

You have dated someone five year younger than you

You have dated someone five years older than you

You have dated a friend’s ex

You have been in a relationship longer than three years

You are currently single

You are currently engaged

You have kissed someone last New Years

You have worked on a Christmas Eve

You have worked 3rd shift

Your school mascot is an animal

You are wearing something red

You have been to the doctor in the past 3 months

You have been cheated on

You have been told you have beautiful eyes

You have burned yourself with a curling iron/straightner

You have gotten the urge to cry at a random moment

You know how to cook well

You hate having to get up any earlier than noon

You are a night owl

You are a morning person

You have flashed someone

You have an older brother

You have a younger sister

You have a half sibling

You know sign language

You have been to Chicago

You have been to Las Vegas

You have been to Miami

You live in Arkansas

You live in Texas

You have ridden in a small vehicle with 10+ people crammed in it

You have been somewhere and had your ride leave without you

You have accepted a ride home from someone you barely knew

You were in a relationship at this time one year ago

You were in a relationship six months ago

You were in a relationship one month ago

You have bought helium balloons just to make funny noises with them

You have gotten a speeding ticket

You own a t-shirt that supports your favorite band

You have won free tickets to a concert

You have won money from scratch-off cards

You have bought cigarettes when you were underage

You use hairspray daily

You have argued with someone today

You believe in love at first sight

You are a vegan

You have played with an Ouija board

You have visited somewhere said to be ‘haunted’

You drive a vehicle newer than 2006

You own a digital camera

You have taken photographs of yourself simply because you were bored

If you could you’d spend a week in the 1920s

You would rather vacation over a ski resort than a beach house

You have been on a cruise in the Carribean

You are lactose intolerant

You sunburn easily

You have freckles

You have a birthmark

You have questioned your beliefs

You have questioned your sexuality

You are emancipated from your parents

You live on your own

You live with your boyfriend/girlfriend

You live with at least 3 roommates

Your mom was a teen when she had you

You are adopted

You have considered adoption in your future

You want more than four kids

You don’t want any kids

You have children already

You model your life after someone you look up to

You have had a crush on a celebrity

You still have beanie babies from when it was all rage

You watch a certain TV show regularly

You know the Lord’s Prayer by heart

You didn’t pass the first time you took your drivers test

You remember exactly where you were and what you were doing on 9/11

You have had a detention

You know how to knit

You can drive a stick shift

You have broke a curfew

You have graffiti-ed something

You own an umbrella

You are dating the last person you kissed

You have kissed someone in the last 24 hours

You have kissed more than 3 people in the last year

Your last missed call was from a relative

You have driven somewhere today

You know someone who works at McDonalds

You are diabetic

You are hypoglemic

You wear glasses/contacts

You have braces

You are pregnant

You are wearing shorts

You are wearing at least three pieces of jewelry

You have let someone use you, even when you knew they were

You have done something you really regret

You have told someone something you really wish you could take back

You have done something that ruined a friendship

You are on non-speaking terms with a relative

You have taken back an ex

You have dumped someone and later thought if it was the right thing

You have broken someone’s heart

You have had your heart broken

You have ignored someone who liked you in favor of someone you liked more

You have been hit on by the same sex

You prefer a hook up with no strings attached over a relationship

You have received a love letter

You have had a secret admirer

You know someone with the same birthday as you

You know someone with the same birth year as you

You have been told you look like a certain celebrity

You are taller than your mom

You are taller than your dad

You are a legal adult

Your favorite season is Winter

Your favorite color is green

Your favorite number is 7

Your favorite animal is a panda

You saw your favorite movie in theaters

You have been to a concert of your favorite band

You have a cold at the moment

You have visited all 50 states

You have walked around town after midnight

You have been stuck on a ferris wheel when it started raining

You have been in a tornado

You have been in a hurricane

You have thrown up in a restaurant

You couldn’t live without caffeine

You have been to the emergency room more than 5 times

You have slept more than 24 hours in one sleep session

You have received a compliment today

You have given someone a false number so they couldn’t call you

You have convinced someone you had a twin

You have convinced someone you had a sibling that didn’t really exist

You have gotten in the car and drove somewhere with no destination in mind

You have taken the long way home just so that you could jam out to some tunes

You have considered taking up a hippie-care-free lifestyle

You have seriously considered legally changing your name

You have walked around in your underwear while you were home alone

You have gambled online

You have fallen for someone you told yourself you wouldn’t fall for

You have smoked a whole pack of cigarettes in a matter of hours

You have drank so much you blacked out

You have been bit by a snake

You have been bit by a dog

You wish at 11:11

You have found a four leaf clover

You pick up pennies for good luck

You don’t really believe in luck

You have remained good friends with an ex

You have been a flower girl/ring bearer at a wedding

You have been a best man/maid of honor at a wedding

You have been to a funeral this year

You have been to a baby shower this year

You have been to a bachelor/bachelorette party this year

You have been to a 21st party this year

You have been to a graduation party this year

You have been to a going away party this year

You love the smell of fresh cut grass

You have seen a sunset and stayed awake to see the sunrise

You have borrowed someone’s coat/sweater and forgot to give it back

You have used an excuse (cold, scared, etc) to get to cuddle with someone

You have died in a dream

You have gotten a call from someone and wondered how they got your number

You have laughed out loud to something you were thinking of

You have gotten lost and ended up in a completely different destination

You have run out of gas before

You have done something just because you knew you weren’t supposed to

You have been grounded for longer than a month

You receive an allowance

You have babysat more than one child under 10 at a time

You have called in sick to work because you had a hangover

You have stared at the dots on your ceiling and saw pictures of them

You have stayed longer than 3 days in the hospital (psychiatric)

You have pretended to be someone you weren’t for someone else

You have danced in front of the mirror in private

You have dialed a wrong number and it turned out to be someone you knew

You have been to the Atlantic ocean

You have told someone you were fine when you weren’t

You have copied someone else’s work

You have read an entire book in one sitting

You have spent more than $100 on one pair of jeans

You have taken gymnastics

You have taken a karate class

You have written something on a dollar bill

You have eaten peanut butter right out of the jar

You feel like you have no life because you completed this

#personal #tag #game #bold what applies #sorry #long post #bored #sharing #about me #some personal stuff #answering questions

[angelofberlin2000]

In his 14 minutes of screentime in Always Be My Maybe, Netflix’s latest rom-com phenomenon, 54-year-old Keanu Reeves — now 30 years into his stardom — skewers and subverts the personas we’ve come to attach to him.

Reeves, playing an outsized version of himself, cuts an imposing figure in his introduction. Time slows to a crawl. All eyes gravitate toward the velvet-jacketed figure with striking beauty and prickly charisma. After his entrance — a show for everyone in the farcical restaurant Maximal — he slides toward Ali Wong’s celebrity chef Sasha, offering spiritual platitudes in the face of her unfettered lust. “I missed your thumbs,” she breathily exhales. “I missed your soul” is his reply.

It’s a maniacally delightful performance that both reminds audiences of Reeves’s place in Asian-American Hollywood history and allows him to flex improvisational skills as he cycles through the various masks we have grafted onto him. There’s the impossibly otherworldly Keanu, who says with utmost sincerity, “The only stars that matter are the ones that you see when you dream.” There’s action-star Keanu, who smashes a vase against his own head in a game of Icebreaker and easily puts the jealous protagonist, Marcus (Randall Park), in a headlock — fully committed, physically graceful, and beautifully dangerous. The Keanu of internet memes and viral threads is here, too, in the very fact that he’s playing himself.

Reeves is having a dynamite year with the success of Always Be My Maybe, the outrageously violent John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum, and Toy Story 4, in which he plays Canada’s greatest stunt driver, Duke Caboom. (Another sly nod perhaps? While born in Beirut, Reeves — who is of Chinese-Hawaiian and British ancestry — was raised in Toronto.) The actor’s more recent evolution into a meme may flatten his complexities, but it does signal why he has endured all this time, despite the persistent claim that he’s a bad actor, or just a limited one. As I’ve contended in the past, this is a gross misreading of a great actor. In her tremendous 2007 masterwork The Star Machine, film professor and historian Jeanine Basinger praises Reeves amongst his generational contemporaries: “Reeves is a neo-star fighting the concept of stardom itself, working steadily against persona to the point where no one has a clear idea of who Reeves is onscreen anymore. This has hurt him, but it has also allowed him to maintain versatility that means more to him than fame. […] His career would have been limited, and thus short lived. Instead, he has used his freedom to move on and slowly force audiences to accept him as a real actor.”

  Just take a look at the arc of his career — as a teenager going through an existential crisis in the blackhearted wonder River’s Edge (1986); the affably dimwitted Theodore “Ted” Logan from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) and its sequel; the bodaciously supple and yearning FBI agent and surfer Johnny Utah in Point Break (1991); a bruisingly courteous SWAT officer in Speed (1994); the beatific savior Neo in The Matrix (1999);  the violent redneck in The Gift (2000); an occult detective radiating self-loathing and suicidal yearnings in Constantine (2005); and of course, the titular tenderhearted and violently dangerous assassin of the John Wick franchise. In looking at all of his performances, I am reminded of what the great Roger Ebert wrote in his review of the Bill & Ted sequel back in the early ‘90s: “I have seen Keanu Reeves in vastly different roles (the FBI man in the current Point Break, for example), and am a little astonished by the range of these performances.”

Throughout his career, Reeves has eschewed obvious transformation in favor of something trickier and more subtle. What has allowed him to remain a star, 30 years later, is a blend of virility, vulnerability, and an aura of mystery, hearkening to a bygone era of stardom that contradicts the current moment, which requires stars to seem endlessly accessible; his sheer joy for the medium that makes him a cinematic sensualist; his racial dimensions as a star; and his gimlet-eyed understanding of the female gaze. These qualities are unique in the current market of stardom in Hollywood, allowing him to straddle various cinematic contexts with ease — mainstream romantic comedies, somber indie flicks, gloriously decadent action flicks.

They come through in one of his earliest films, My Own Private Idaho, a meditative character study about two young hustlers — Mike Waters (River Phoenix), a shy narcoleptic in search of a sense of home, and the strikingly beautiful Scott Favor (Reeves), a trust-fund kid slumming it until his inheritance kicks in at 21. Reeves and his late co-star imbue their characters with a particular mix of virility, vulnerability, and mystery. I’d argue that all the greatest leading men in the annals of Hollywood stardom have existed at this intersection to varying degrees — something I feel has been lacking from modern male stars, partially because they are being formed in franchises that lack interest in the visceral aspects of humanity. (It helps that Reeves has declined offers to join Marvel, even though they’ve been trying to woo him to their stable for years.) Humphrey Bogart’s cool is consistently undercut by his own anger and self-loathing. William Holden held something dark behind his megawatt smile and gleaming blond locks. Paul Newman always felt a touch remote, like he was hiding bruised aspects of himself from the audience. Marlon Brando, of course, epitomizes these qualities. Reeves is brimming with similar contradictions. He reflects this tradition by being at once beatifically still and emotionally expressive, defined by loneliness and a yearning to be saved from it.

In My Own Private Idaho, Reeves is the object of desire not only for Mike but the camera itself. Deep into the film, Mike timidly reveals his love to Scott while they camp out in the desert, a fire crackling before them. Phoenix plays Mike as wild with energy he has no real outlet for, leading to an awkward physicality. Reeves grants his character a languid brio. He takes up space, laying close to the fire, his head dipped back to study Mike as he timidly expresses his feelings. He’s outstretched, willowy, and aware of Mike’s gaze; he examines the weight of it. The scene reveals one of Reeves’s greatest skills as an actor: being an active listener. As he studies Mike, he invites and toys with his feelings. “I only have sex with a guy for money,” he notes offhandedly as if it were a random truth, not a response to a declaration of love. But just as the prickliness of his character comes into view (foreshadowing later betrayals), Reeves displays a burnishing sincerity. Arms outstretched, he says, “Let’s go to sleep,” and proceeds to cradle Mike.

The full-bodied listening Reeves exhibits in My Own Private Idaho is a hallmark of his work opposite women as well. Reeves is a great example of what Roswell New Mexico writer Alanna Bennett deemed The Look: “The number one thing a man in a romcom needs, TV or movie, is the ability to look at their love interest REALLY WELL. The man barely even needs to speak if he just knows how LOOK at a person.” Reeves has given that look in multiple contexts — his face is bright with awe when he looks at Carrie-Anne Moss’s Trinity in the Matrix films; it has a touch of admiration when he gazes at Sandra Bullock in Speed; and it is filled with unmitigated desire for Diane Keaton’s Erica Barry in Something’s Gotta Give.

Nancy Meyer’s 2003 ode to beachside property and an older woman’s sensual awakening stars Keaton as a successful playwright who finds herself falling for two very different men — Harry Sanborn (Jack Nicholson), who briefly dated her daughter (how this didn’t disqualify him immediately continues to baffle me) and has to go through a damn heart attack before he can see what’s attractive in a woman around his own age; and Julian Mercer (Reeves), a sweet doctor with a penchant for black turtlenecks who is immediately smitten when they meet.

In the film, Reeves is attuned to the female gaze in its most literal incarnation — an understanding of how women see the world, what they want from it, and how they make sense of desire. During a dinner scene with Julian, Erica’s face and neck are flush. She’s skittish and nervous in the face of his undeniable — but never disrespectful — sexual and romantic interest. Reeves’s face shows the depth and breadth of The Look, as he glides from teasing lust to a spark of genuine intellectual attraction. At one point, when their conversations turns to women his own age, he says, “I’ve never met one I’ve reacted to” — stumbling for a moment, as if shocked by the depth of his own feeling — “… quite like this. When something happens to you that hasn’t happened before, don’t you have to at least find out what it is?” He’s a man overcome and humbled by his own desire. Is there anything sexier? Then he leans in, his face going soft, gently kissing the groove where her neck meets her shoulder. “I knew you’d smell good,” he whispers. Only Reeves could pull off a line like that.

Many actors of Reeves’s caliber are too invested in being in the spotlight of a scene to play a romantic lead like this. After the fall of the studio system in the 1960s, Hollywood no longer looked at women as a viable market, and while romantic comedies continued to get made, going forward, there was a notable shift in whose desire was centered — and how little male actors seemed interested in exploring romance and desire. Reeves’s willingness brought another layer of intimacy to his relationship with his audience, offering a more flexible, vulnerable portrait of masculinity that sets him apart from other name stars.

That intimacy is key to Reeves’s longevity. It’s what makes him such a great cinematic sensualist. In 2009, Matt Zoller Seitz argued that directors Michael Mann, Terrence Malick, David Lynch, Wong Kar-wai, and Hou Hsiao-hsien were the “the decade’s best sensualists filmmakers.” He wrote, “They share a defining trait: a lyrical gift for showing life in the moment, for capturing experience as it happens and as we remember it. The sensualists are bored with dramatic housekeeping. They’re interested in sensations and emotions, occurrences and memories of occurrences.” I’d argue that being a cinematic sensualist is a distinction that can apply to acting as well. For actors, it is about bringing texture and complication to a film, existing wholly in the moment, and a keen interest in the human body.

When we watch films, the body keeps score as much as the mind does. Reeves demonstrates an understanding of this. This is apparent in the delicate neck kiss in Something’s Gotta Give; the careful way his hand skitters across broken glass before deciding on which shard to slit his wrists with in Constantine; the calm he engenders with merely the sound of his voice in Thumbsucker. But it’s most impactful in his career as an action star. In many ways, the John Wick franchise is the perfect marriage of director and star. The third film is a tactile feast. Consider a scene early in John Wick 3, in which Reeves methodically takes apart and reassembles a gun for a single shot. This scene is, of course, a testament to the character’s skill as an assassin. But it also acts as a reminder of how out of step John is with the world around him, betraying a desire for the quieter moments in life — despite the brutal milieu he finds himself in — and a strange empathy for the world around him, whether it be object or animal. This allows a humanity to glitter throughout his performances that often feels absent from many action franchises that sacrifice character on the altar of plot.

There’s another part of Reeves’s star image I suspect has played into our abiding fascination with him. Until Always Be My Maybe, the most under-discussed part of Reeves’s persona was his race. Late in his slim but potent book-length essay Mixed-Race Superman: Keanu, Obama, and Multicultural Experience, Will Harris astutely writes about a particular aspect of the 2005 film A Scanner Darkly that, metatextually, speaks to Reeves’s whole career:

“To be mixed-race is to exist in a state of paradox. Race is an illusion that depends on purity and singleness. […] In A Scanner Darkly, set in a paranoid surveillance state in the near-future, Keanu plays a government agent called Bob Arctor, who because he works undercover, has to wear a ‘scramble suit’ in the office. The suit projecting 1.5 million constantly shifting representations of different people — male and female, black, white, Latinx — keeps his identity cloaked. Even the people he works with have no idea who he is.”

Like his persona, Reeves’s face itself is considered unplaceable. Growing up, he never read as white to me, but he has read that way to Hollywood, which allowed his career to be mutable in ways that very few people of color ever experience. But for much of the moviegoing audience, seeing his face has always been a point of connection. It’s the undercurrent of why his turn in Always Be My Maybe felt like such a significant moment in his career. It was as though something had been revealed about him for the first time, even though it had been present all along. That it was such a joyful, brazenly comedic role added yet another twist on his image. There was a sense that, even after 30 years in the spotlight, Reeves can still surprise us.

#keanu reeves #why we can't stop watching keanu reeves #angelica jade bastien #vulture

[sofeira]

Tag game

I was tagged by @astraxh​ for these two tag games

1-20 Questions

Answer 20 and tag 20 people you want to know better (I’mma tag 20 max for both)

Name: Angelina

Nicknames: Angi, Sof, Sofsof

Gender: Female

Orientation: Bi/Pan

Nationality: Austrian

Faith/Religion: Atheist

Hobbies: Reading, manga, anime, Japanese calligraphy, gaming and that’s about it

Pets: Two cats

Favorite Color(s): Purple and blue

Favorite Holiday: Summer holidays

Books: As a kid I really liked the Warrior Cats series and R. L. Stines’ books, used to read lots of them. Rn I don’t really read much anymore except for manga

Movies: Princess Mononoke, Suicide Room (my emo side is still alivemkwodwdi), and Labyrinth (1986)

Tv shows: Kitchen Nightmares and Hotel Hell (Ramsay is too good I’m sowwy), but I really don’t watch it on television, I watch streams tbh. I didn’t turn the TV on in forever

Music: Swing, punk, everything with a nice beat and lots of Sorority Noise and Priory

Coffee, Tea or Hot Chocolate: I love all of them, but tea for the win!

Favorite meme: Rickrolling

I want to live long enough to: Be away from my mum, feel like I’m surrounded by good friends and know I made all of them a bit happier

Weird Obsessions: I collect the steam trading cards and actually have lots of manga at home, I’m kinda obsessed with collecting them

Random Fact: While Astraxh sleeps with a dog plushie, among the seven plushies in my bed, there is no dog

Goals for 2018: Move out and feel like I still have my friends around me wdkwadkp, my finals are already done after all

Get to know me tag

Rules: Answer 30 questions then tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better

Nickname: Angi, Sof, Sofsof

Gender: Female

Zodiac: Pisces

Height: 158 cm (I’m so smol)

Age: 18

Time: 21:11

Favorite Bands/Solo Artists: Sorority Noise, Priory, Troye Sivan, Hayley Kiyoko, Arctic Monkeys, Cigarettes after Sex, Caravan Palace, Parov Stelar, Zayde Wolf, Hungry Ghosts, grandson....

Song stuck in my head: Priory - Lady of Late

Last movie I saw: White Fang from 2018 (watched it today with my dad)

Last thing I googled: Priory because I forgot whether that’s the right name of the band I cry

Other blogs: I wish, not anymore sadly @cooro-the-crow​ used to be a blog I had

Do I get asks: Nearly never but I’m happy whenever I get any. I also never received anon hate lmao

Why I chose my username: It’s the cool edgy name I came up with when I was 4 for my dragon OC

Following: ??? Every blog possible on earth prolly I don’t know. Most of which post good fandom stuff others just have the same shitty humour I like

Average amount of sleep: Hahaha, hah. 6? I guess?

Lucky number: 7!

What am I wearing: A black shirt with a red banner on which “OK. BYE.” is written in white and my pajama pants because I only changed half of my clothes sdjoawdjo

Dream job: Not too sure. I used to want to be an author, I would like being a teacher as well though.

Dream trip: JAPAN, NO MATTER WHERE, COUNTRYSIDE IF POSSIBLE

Favorite food: Lentil soup with tomatoes and parsley (I had it today again, hehe)

Play an instrument: 4 years of playing the English flute in primary school, after that one guitar lesson, attempts of playing keyboard and actually about no fucking musical experience wdijawdo

Favorite song: Doomsday by Mephiskapheles

Play(ed) any sport: I only did Wing Chun for some time, lel

Hair color: Brown-darkbrown with some lighter and slightly brighter blonde strands of hair? Natural

Eye color: Brown-olive depending on the light

Describe yourself as an aesthetic: Removing your bra after a long day (I am crying but that’s it, that’s basically all)

Random fact: This took me way too fucking long and also I started listening to old music I listened to once again diwjadw

I tag: @sinning-oskar, @gay-in-a-manger, @succubike, @a-lonely-ahoge, @nekoyaz, @unnameddoc, @svearike, @trashtetsu, @emiria (I don’t have many friends lmao)

Have fun doing this shit except you don’t want to, then just don’t but know I thought about you and tried tagging you at least lmao

#tagged #me #floof prince speaking #tag

[targetdummy]

I’m not interesting, but I was tagged by @givemebishies to answer some stuff about. These probably won’t be that cool or interesting for anyone else to read, but here we go!

Rules: Answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions.

1. Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi. It’s sweeter, and you’re supposed to sip soda rather than drinking it like water. Plus, MJ still forgave them after they caught his hair on fire, started his painkiller addiction, and dropped him as a promoter because of the child abuse allegations, so I imagine he at least liked to drink it.

2. Disney or Dreamworks: Disney generally. I’m not a big fan of either one, but I think Disney has made more important things in their time. Kind of unfair since they’ve been around longer, but whatever.

3. Coffee or Tea: Cappuccino. And even then I don’t want to taste the coffee in it.

4. Books or Movies: I watch more movies, but I think more books have had a serious impact on my life. I don’t know though, Rocky is a freaking masterpiece.

5. Windows or Mac: What? Where is my GNU/Linux option? Richard Stallman didn’t die for this! [For real though, I use Windows because I’m peasant trash who likes to play video games without spending hours on configuration. Though, I am considering dual-booting with Linux Mint in the near future. We’ll see. And Stallman isn’t dead, that was a joke.]

6. DC or Marvel: Marvel. Gotta have my Spider-Man and X-Men. The Avengers are also much more varied and interesting than the Justice League.

7. Xbox or Playstation: Playstation all the way. I can’t even name an Xbox exclusive offhand other than Halo or Gears of War. Playstation has a more interesting history too.

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: A friend of mine kept telling me to play both, but stressed Dragon Age more. I have played neither.

9. Night Owl or Early Rise: Night owl. I feel and work better at night. I like knowing the rest of the world is asleep.

10. Cards or Chess: Cards because they are an unlimited number of games! (So is Chess technically, but I like that with cards you can more easily have a random aspect if you want).

11. Chocolate or Vanilla: Are we talking ice cream? Vanilla. Are we talking brownies? Chocolate. Are we talking anything else? I don’t know.

12. Vans or Converse: I buy the cheapest shoe that feels comfortable and doesn’t make me hate myself when I wear them. I’ve never owned either of those.

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar: I’m sorry, I’m only a level 2 mage, I don’t know those ones yet.

14. Fluff or Angst: both I guess? I’m an angst lookin’ to get his fluff on.

15. Beach or Forest: Beach beach beach. I need to be warm and surrounded by water.

16. Dogs or Cats: I like cats and dogs that act like cats.

17. Clear Skies or Rain: Rain all the way. Rain for days. Clear skies are boring and make me sad. They don’t even move. I can feel rain. It surrounds me and makes me feel loved. Warm rain especially, or cool rain on a warm day.

18. Cooking or Eating Out:  I prefer eating out in both senses of the term. But for real, I love restaurants. I love the feeling of being in one, and knowing that my food is being handled by someone who knows how to make it well. Then to just have it brought to me, it’s awesome. Like, I didn’t make this. I don’t deserve this. But you’re giving me this, just for some paper. It’s just so comforting. Oh, and takeout is awesome too, because it’s that experience, but with more control and less atmosphere. All of it makes me so happy, honestly, I can’t understate how awesome it is to pickup food from somewhere awesome. Shout out to my people at El Canelo, that’s the place I dream of when I’m hungry. Any Chinese/Japanese is great too. Then fast food, Sheetz and Chick-Fil-A especially can be great. All of it, man. I’m sorry, I wrote too much for this.

19. Spicy Food or Mild Food: Spicy! Specifically, spicy and sweet. It’s all a part of the experience!

20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: Halloween is cooler theme-wise. Japanese Christmas though 💕

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot : Yeah, I guess a little too cold, because I love the sensation of getting warm.

22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be? Phew, does what Dr. Manhattan have count? You know, just be god. Nah, I wouldn’t want that, that’s too much. Controlling time would be cool. Would probably be depressing in reality, but cool in theory.

23. Animation or Live Action: This really depends on the work.

24. Paragon or Renegade: I have no idea what this is referencing. But Renegade is a 1986 beat ‘em up game that I really like for one reason: it’s the start of the Kunio-Kun series that would eventually lead to Downtown Nekketsu Monogatari, or River City Ransom. Renegade isn’t amazing on its own, but really cool to see where RCR got its origin.

25. Baths or Showers: Showers usually.

26. Team Cap or Team Iron Man: Haven’t watched Civil War yet, but Iron Man.

27. Fantasy or Sci-Fi: Sci-Fi usually feels bigger than Fantasy and can include Fantasy elements without much of an issue (infinite universe, infinite possibilities), so I’ll go with it.

28. Do you have three or four favourite quotes?

Okay, these might get lengthy, so here we go:

1. (Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid 2)

“Life isn't just about passing on your genes. We can leave behind much more than just DNA. Through speech, music, literature and movies... what we've seen, heard, felt... anger, joy and sorrow... these are the things I will pass on. That's what I live for. We need to pass the torch, and let our children read our messy and sad history by its light. We have all the magic of the digital age to do that with. The human race will probably come to an end some time, and new species may rule over this planet. Earth may not be forever, but we still have the responsibility to leave what traces of life we can. Building the future and keeping the past alive are one and the same thing. “

2. (Dr. Manhattan from Watchmen)

“Nothing ends, Adrian. Nothing ever ends.”

3. (Shigeru Miyamoto)

“A delayed game is eventually good, but a rushed game is forever bad.“

And there’s a lot more but I’m bad at remembering them.

29. YouTube or Netflix: YouTube, I watch it way more than Netflix. I like all the different voices on YouTube, how accessible it is.

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: Isn’t Harry Potter a My Immortal fanfic? I go with that one. Also, nobody will even remember Percy Jackson in ten years.

31. When You Feel Accomplished: When I’ve created something that people enjoy, and when I fulfill the needs of those I love. I haven’t been doing enough of either lately :/

32. Star Wars or Star Trek: I accept that Star Trek is superior in every way, however I will always defend Star Wars as my personal favorite.

33. Paperback Books or Hardback Books: Hardback. I am less likely to ruin it, and it looks nicer on a shelf.

34. horror or rom-com: I’m not a fan of either, but I like horror elements in other things.

35. tv shows or movies: TV shows. Individual stories that build to an overall story arc will always have more depth than a single movie. That’s why Samurai Jack is more compelling than any of the samurai movies it draws inspiration from.

36. favorite animal: Tiger.

37. favorite genre of music: Funk and its derivatives.

38. least favorite book: The Old Man and the Sea. I like Hemmingway, but it’s a book where nothing happens, the most exciting part is when he says the ocean is a women having her period, and the ending feels like actually watching an old man die. He doesn’t die in the book, that’s just how it feels.

39. favourite season: Summer. As hot as possible.

40. song that’s currently stuck in your head: ME NE’ER HA ME GUN SO ME HA TA MOO SHARP LI ME KNIFE

41. what kind of pyjama’s do you wear? Pajama pants and a t-shirt. I wear this all day when possible.

42. Handwriting or Typing? Typing. Gotta go fast. And I can’t compile my code from a piece of paper.

43. If you can only choose one song to be played at your funeral, what would it be? The Real Folk Blues.

44. What is your go to book/movie/tv show that you immediately find solace in when you feel down? Okay, I don’t know about books, movies, or TV shows, but I always find solace in any YouTube show that can make me feel less alone. It doesn’t have to be funny or interesting, I just have to feel like people are around me, talking, and being happy. Game Grumps works well for this, or most podcasts.

45. “Yer a wizard/witch, Y/N” - your reaction? I know. I didn’t learn to code just to not be a wizard.

46. Are you generally a messy or organized person? I’m an organized person who appears messy. It’s like a hashing algorithm. There is some initial data behind it, but you can’t make sense of the result, and there’s no way to reverse it.

47. What’s your go to comfort food? Anything fried. Especially fries. It just feels so familiar, so welcoming, like it can never be bad. Especially with good sauces, sweet and sour most of all probably.

48. Do you enjoy being creative? If so what’s your favorite way to create? I do. I’m not sure what my favorite way is. Writing is easiest, but making games and web stuff is so rewarding. I need to do more either way.

My question:

49: Other than Tumblr, what is your favorite website?

I have no friends to tag :D (But if you see this and nobody tagged you to do it, you can totally say I tagged you and do it anyway. I’ll vouch for you.)

#ask tag