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how to lose someone in seven steps? | xiaojun

— summary: fencing his way through life, dejun knows too much about the sport but not enough about love. his sweet tongue conquers the romanticism of this century and puts it to shame—in love with everyone and everything. though, maybe that’s one thing to take to her advantage when trying to break his heart. making him fall for her shouldn’t be that difficult.

— title: how to lose someone in seven steps? — pairing: xiao dejun x reader — genre: fencer!au ; bet!au ; strangers to friends to lovers!au ; love experiment!au — type: angst ; fluff ; romance ; humor ; drama — word count: 10,584 — playlist: just friends – keshi ; i’m low on gas and you need a jacket – pierce the veil ; that xx – g dragon ; wi ing wi ing – hyuk oh ; lightweight – demi lovato ; better man – 5 seconds of summer ; love u – monsta x ; lucky strike – troye sivan — note: you should read the prologue before reading this route.

One day with a headache is usual; it comes with the stress of the heat of summer, the rambling of people around oneself, and with the overall activities of a busy schedule. The second day, she really starts pondering if the medicine she is taking for her headache is even doing any good—she reads the contents of the box filled with medicine, thinking of the doses, pondering on why it has worked on other occasions but it just doesn’t work now.

The third day she wakes up with a headache, she truly thinks she’s going to snap at the world. How dare they wake her up to the thumping inside her head? Words mingling together in thoughts that she can’t even comprehend.

But the reason of her headache goes past her room—it’s not the bright colors of her rented apartment that take her off guard, neither is it the scent of vanilla that she sprays on her bathroom every night and somehow makes its way into the bedroom, it’s because someone is calling her incessantly before the alarm even goes off. The perks of being an unemployed singer, however, fall on the fact that she doesn’t really have a schedule to start with.

Pushing her tiger blanket off her body, her fingertips reach for her phone. Out of the many contacts, this one surprises her the most—Shishi is the type of woman to write a text with shortened greetings, a simplistic reply and then, she’s off to her own world of anime shows and cosplaying. Much to her delight (or to her lack of understanding, thereof), Shishi is calling at six in the motherfucking morning.

If it’s Shishi, it must be an emergency.

She flops back onto her bed, pulling the covers up her face when she replies, phone to ear, “Good morning, Shishi, what are you doing up?”

“I haven’t slept.” Shishi is quick to reply, her soft voice coming in short spurts, and by the sip she hears soon after, Shishi’s companion for this morning is coffee. “I, uh, I was playing videogames, you know, and I was just thinking about what you said about breaking my ex’s heart four days ago.”

Oh, maybe that’s why she has had a headache the past three days. Alcohol had been her form of speech at that moment, when her hand grabbed Shishi’s phone with a picture of her and her ex-boyfriend, something Xiao…all she can remember now is that he is the supposed ‘Fencer Asshole’.

“Ah, Shishi…I think it was just a joke.” The feeling of her covers softening the stress on her cheeks has her closing her eyes. Just a few more hours of sleep before she has to worry about the world outside her cheap apartment. “I was drunk, Shishi. I…I don’t want to date any of my friends’ exes, no matter how attractive they are or how much they hurt them—”

Shishi lets out a groan that comes from the depths of her frustration. “But—you don’t get it. You’ve never been heartbroken. It’s…it’s the worst thing in the world.”

Opening her eyes, she stares at the harsh yellow walls of her bedroom. “Reason as to why you shouldn’t want to cause that upon someone else. It doesn’t make you a better person—”

For a moment, silence fills the air, and she thinks the call must’ve come to an end, just when she is about to slip her phone off her ear to cut the call, Shishi speaks again. “He played games with me,” She says, voice softer than what she gets to hear when she’s playing videogames. Shishi somehow lives believing that the stories she sees in manga and anime will become her reality. They never do. “Spent three months of my life last year kissing me, making me feel unique, having me going to every single one of his events only to say we were just friends after. I can’t deal with that.”

“And I’m so sorry, Shishi, but that just happens—”

“Please, you promised!” For a second, she thinks back to the time Shishi was truly heartbroken by Xiao Dejun. Locked in her room without being able to get out, weeping so silently that no one noticed—no one but her group of friends, arriving with her favorite meals, tickets to her favorite shows, and none of them got them out. Only on her own had she been able to break through the ties that held her to Dejun. “I was miserable for months. Sometimes, when I really think about it, I still feel like I can hear his voice. Please, I just need him to get a taste of his own medicine.”

The day she dies, she wants to believe she was a good person—she helped her friends, was there for her family, and did what she thought was good. At this moment in time, she doesn’t know if it’s a good thing—heartbreak is overrated yet huge on its own, but it’s what her friend wants. Revenge tastes sweet, and she hasn’t had anything to eat yet.

“Okay, I will.” She sighs deeply, her vocal cords hurting by the words she just said. “But I need some background on this dude. All I remember is your snotty voice when you were crying for him.”

Almost like the shows she watches, Shishi squeals in delight, slurping some more of her drink before speaking up. “Xiao Dejun, born in Dongguan, a famous fencer that went to the Olympics when he was sixteen. Ah, he doesn’t really enjoy coffee, he prefers tea. Loves dogs, has one, too. Sucker for musicals, has the prettiest eyes…” When she recites him that way, she wonders how in fucking hell Shishi got her heart broken by someone who loves musicals. To be quite honest, if someone asks you to watch CATS on a first date and your heart ends up in shambles, that’s on you. “But he always flirted with one of his trainers.”

“What was her na—?”

“Chenhao.”

“Oh…right.”

“Chenhao. She’s like the anime enemy of my love story,” Somehow, she wonders if Shishi sees the world the same way she does. Either way, she closes her eyes tightly, hoping for the headache to go away. “Tall, has short hair, I think she had a rose tattoo on her shoulder but it’s rarely seen. Hot as all fuck.”

“She sounds super hot.” She replies, only to earn a scoff from Shishi. “Baby, I’m just being honest. You’re hot in your own way, too, but if you were never something official—”

“Ah, ah, don’t go there!” Shishi conquers. “I just need you to be the Chenhao in this situation. Crush his heart. Make him regret it.”

You know, with the lack of gigs coming directly to her—an artist in the rising that doesn’t get past a thousand plays on Soundcloud, this sounds like a good distraction. A fencer, perhaps, is one of the things she would’ve never imagined herself ever dating or looking for, but it is what she gets. The kind of person she has to capture to have Shishi feeling good about herself again.

“What I do for you, Shishi. What I do for you…”

“And I love you for it!”

###

The world rotates in ways we don’t understand—one day, we’re saying we won’t do one thing and some months later, we’re living exactly what we never wanted to go through. It’s the cycle of life; reason as to why fashion gets old and renews itself perfectly, or why the songs we used to listen to years ago can’t seem to get out of our hearts, doesn’t matter if we still know the lyrics or not. With that in mind, entering the local fencing tournament with a ticket in between her fingers and an unpolished denim jacket across her shoulders isn’t something she would have imagined herself doing a week ago. Alas, life works in marvelous ways.

Most of the people by the bleachers are parents, clear in the way they dress, in their cheers and pamphlets that read children’s names. Her heart warms at the whooping from some people, wondering where that side of her life had gone to. You see, life hasn’t been so innocent to her the past few months—lack of employment, songs that speak about her turmoil of thoughts, blending into the hatred she feels for her decisions. A singer on tables in local bars, but never quite making it through. Never quite making an impression.

Instead, she sits down, watching the group of children in fencing uniforms, white and perfectly polished, holding the sabre with expertise, perhaps learning from someone much more knowledgeable. Not a lot of adults are on the center of the tournament, but she catches sight of someone kneeling to fix the sleeves of a kid’s uniform, taking off his mask to showcase his messed-up brown hair and his twinkling, smiling eyes. Her throat dries in recognition, though, he looks much more different from what Shishi had described.

Xiao Dejun is a fallen star at that moment—in his eyes, a universe. His fingers quickly work on the elongated fabric of that kid’s uniform, speaking to him with certainty, grinning in a way that would make anyone comfortable. When he gets back on his feet, taut and slim body in full display under that white uniform (still, leaving something to the imagination), he takes his sabre in between his hands, speaking with certainty.

The sabre glides across the air like a dance, a samba of sorts that romanticizes such unrecognized art. Her vision is filled only with him—with the way he hits his sabre with the kid’s, pulling his mask on his face with quick motions before pushing himself forward. When the kid manages to pinch his stomach, bending the sabre in the process, he can’t help but cheer loudly—heard over the chatter of people, followed by a high five from the kid, perhaps on ten years old at most.

Oh, youth tournament. When Shishi had spoken about a tournament, she thought Dejun would be the one competing, but as he makes his way towards the bleachers, right at the bottom of it, she can’t help but hit herself mentally.

Youth.

He’s not going to participate.

He’s training children in this competition.

No one is seated by his side, so her legs slide away from her seat to move closer to him before anyone could take the space beside him. Her converses hit the bleachers with certainty, excusing herself between the masses of parents to plop herself down next to Xiao Dejun. From up close, with his mask off, she can see a thin layer of seat falling on his forehead and on the perfectly styled bridge of his nose. His thick eyebrows frown together when he is concentrated, a memory of the kind of man he is. Too given to his job, perhaps, too given to this sport.

Competitive.

Meant for winning.

But she’s going to win over him.

“I’m guessing you know a lot about this.” She starts, leaning back and placing her backpack over her legs. Dejun finally looks away from the masses of children preparing themselves for the first portion of the tournament, giving a smile that transforms into a cackle. Anyone is a sucker for humor, you see.

“Well, ah, yes, of course.” Dejun points at his uniform, before crossing his arms over his chest. “I am guessing you don’t know much.”

“There’s always time for learning.” She extends her hand then, introducing herself with certainty as he looks into his eyes. They turn into half-moons at that moment, smiling with delight as he shakes her hand in a greeting. Oddly charming.

“Xiao Dejun. I’m a trainer for the local team.” He introduces himself and, oh, of course he sounds like he has his life together. It wouldn’t surprise her if someone like him had spent the entirety of his youth simply giving himself to his sport. “If you don’t know a thing about fencing, I’m surprised you’re even here.”

“A friend told me the tournament was going to be entertaining…” Her voice trails at that moment, remembering that she shouldn’t say much about Shishi. “And I happened to have free time.”

Naturally, a blush appears across his honey skin. Strawberry meeting the dulcet honey-tea. “What do you do?”

“I’m a singer.” Though, it’s rare for her to ever say that these days. “…Or, I try to be. You see, it’s harder than you think to find someone to listen to your music when you don’t have an artist name.”

“I think your name is nice for an artist.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!” Dejun conquers, nodding in a way that has her chuckling. Okay, so not only oddly charming—entirely so. “I would listen to your albums.”

She scoffs at his words. “Liar.”

“Ah, not a liar—” But he doesn’t deny it. Sweet-tooth meeting a dulcet mouth, embarking her in a trip for falling. It’s not a wonder that Shishi had been caught in his trap. “But if you want to learn something else apart from singing, I give classes every once in a while. You just have to sign up and all that.”

Looking at Dejun as he bends his knees and pushes the sabre forward, his face hidden behind a mask, somehow doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. If anything, it’s a way to get closer. “I’ll think about it.”

“Good.”

Dejun stands up at that moment, running his hands over his thighs to clean them on the white fabric. “I have to leave now, though. I hope you enjoy the tournament.”

Her eyes rake over his figure, a big beam on her features. “Oh, I’ll make sure to do just that.”

If the parents are going crazy on the bleachers, Dejun is the equilibrium—the middle ground that gives everyone strength. Each kid seems to have him as an energizer, looking for his approval even though he’s not the oldest of the trainers. Dejun’s throat must hurt from how much he is cheering for them, clapping widely, taking the sport as an art, and it’s at this moment that she does see Xiao Dejun in a different light, somewhat an angel in between the bunch of shit he did to Shishi.

Yet, unlike hers, his world doesn’t stop. In hopes of talking to him after the tournament is over, she’s surprised to see the groups of parents clouding him with cameras and phones to take pictures of him with their children.

He doesn’t have time for her.

The heat of the summer afternoon pleads for her to take off her jacket, slipping it off and hanging it from her arm as she tries to call a cab. The holes of her graphic t-shirt (all out of style, of course) don’t do much to keep her fresh as she calls the usual number for her ride, only to remain waiting. None of the parents have gotten out to the tournament just yet, leaving her in solitude in the small street, only accompanied by the people in the Chinese restaurant in front of her, who are too occupied in working with their clients.

Though, something takes her off guard—the motorcycle that had passed by just mere minutes ago has passed by again, this time slower, checking out her spot in the sidewalk. She lowers the phone to look at the man with the dark glasses and horrendous, patchy hair. Something about him feels off, but before she could further intensify her discomfort, he rushes off in his motorcycle. But, he’s not too far away, she can still hear the roaring of the engine—

The door opens at that moment, welcoming the sight of Dejun in more comfortable clothing—his brown hair more brushed at this moment, sporting a white t-shirt and dark joggers, pressing his phone up to his ear. “Excuse me, I called a cab for you.” He tells her, grabbing her elbow and pulling her back the slightest. “Ah, I saw you leave on your own…but the neighborhood has been experiencing some robberies from a man in a motorcycle and I doubt you knew. Maybe, wait inside until the cab arrives, okay?”

When Dejun closes the glassed door in front of her, making sure to lock it, she spares one glance his way. He’s much too close, though he doesn’t notice it, his chest touching her shoulder by the time she says: “T—Thank you, I had no idea.”

“Today’s learning day for you, then.” Dejun plays around, giving her one of her infamous smiles, though, his eyes are the most impressive. Somehow, she can’t look away from them. “Ah…I still have to attend the parents. Are you okay with staying here alone?”

She’d rather stay a few minutes more with him, hear that deep tone in his voice that lingers with a smile most of the time. “It’s okay. Go with your fanbase.”

“It’s not a fanbase.” Dejun defends with an eye-roll, before walking backwards. “I hope to see you in my fencing classes one day.”

She shrugs her shoulders, knowing exactly how to keep him at the edge of his seat. “I’ll have to see. Maybe, maybe not.”

Someone calls Dejun’s name at that moment and the sunshine in his eyes stops looking at her, leaving her in darkness.

###

From: Elena Wang.

I still think this is the worst idea you’ve had to date.

Or that we, as a group, have collectively decided upon.

Literally.

Her shoes patter against the sidewalk, moving over to the same place in which the tournament had taken place in two weeks ago. Out of all the texts she expected to get at four in the afternoon on a Monday, Elena talking about how bad it is that they had bet to break someone’s heart wasn’t it. Her manager, however, should be texting her about the demos she had sent out over a month ago…and yet, she receives no response about that.

The air is turning fresher this time of the year, enough to move her flannel as she walks with lack of precision, turning her gaze to the group-chat she shares with her friends.

From: Shishi.

It’s not a bad idea at all.

I was heartbroken because of Dejun.

From: Elena Wang.

And what if she falls in love with Dejun?

He’s handsome.

And she hasn’t gotten laid in well over a year.

I’m sure she could see an average guy from afar and she would be interested.

From: Yifei.

Did Elena just call you a hoe absentmindedly?

Free pussy for everyone including Dejun.

To: Group-Chat.

I won’t fall for Dejun.

Come on.

I’m fine.

From: Yifei.

How did that song go?

I hypnotize you with this pussy…

Now you feel like you can fly.

Fly.

From: Shishi.

She won’t sleep with him.

It’s off the charts.

To: Group-Chat.

Right.

Off the charts.

From: Shishi.

Is that sarcasm in the form of a text?

Opening the door to the fencing area, she hears the swoosh of air that follows when it closes. The warmth is nicely welcomed, though the groups of people gathering by the middle make her nervous. Some around their age, some definitely younger—perhaps teens, if she’s exact—and all more interested in fencing than she is. One person stands out, however, in the middle as he gives instructions out as well as smiles. Those that she can’t get over and done with.

Dejun is quite a fit for the person she would’ve imagined would break her dating drought, but Shishi would absolutely kill her if she decided to get overly intimate with him. Well, that’s what her texts indicate when she checks her phone one last time before putting her bag down on the bleachers.

From: Shishi.

Right?

You won’t sleep with him.

It’s forbidden.

Even I didn’t sleep with him.

From: Yifei.

Let her get some!

God bless the day Jhené Aiko decided to say:

That dick make my soul smile.

That dick make me so proud.

From: Shishi.

She.

Can’t.

See.

His.

Dick.

To: Group-Chat.

Girls, what kind of woman do you take me for?

I’m not that easy to sleep with.

Besides, if Shishi says it’s off the charts, it’s off the charts.

From: Yifei.

No pussy fairy, then?

To: Group-Chat.

The pussy fairy died last year. Now, I can’t even kiss someone.

Or I could, if you just let me do my own damn thing and talk to Dejun.

With that, she locks her phone and puts it inside one of the pockets of her bag.

Dejun awakens a sunset inside of her when he smiles at her, perhaps, thrown to the world and she takes it in between her fingertips as hers. Though, someone else starts talking to her, short dark hair masking enigmatic features on their wake. The rose tattoo on her shoulder is barely covered by the sleeves of her uniform, walking over to her with another fencing outfit.

“You should get changed,” The seductive tone of her voice lingers with the scent of cigarettes, and it is at this moment that she meets Shishi’s biggest enemy: Chenhao. “I don’t know if this is your size or anything, but it’s the best I could find. The class has already started and you don’t want to miss Dejun’s first class.”

Chenhao quirks one of her thin eyebrows when she doesn’t take the uniform firsthand, but after some pondering, she takes it in between her hands. Damn, she’s actually as hot as Shishi described, if not more. Is it possible that she is the one dating Dejun? “I understand.” She says, already slipping into the uniform while talking to Chenhao. “You have high regards of him.”

“I do.” Chenhao complies, nodding at her words.

“Why?”

“He’s a nice fencer.” She starts, looking down at a folder in between her hands before clicking on her pen. “What is your name again?”

After saying it, her hands come behind her back to zip herself up. “…Is he a nice guy apart from a good fencer?”

“Too much of a nice guy.” Chenhao says. “You don’t know how many women we have had to talk to because he was just too nice to them. Some think he’s just flirty, I just think he doesn’t realize that not all people are going to want to be his friend.”

“I mean, he’s an adult, he probably notices—”

“He doesn’t.” Chenhao conquers, already pushing her towards the group of people. “But I can notice that you’re also one of those women that come here to get Dejun’s attention, but I’ll just turn my blind eye on it.”

“I’m not—”

“Hey, long time no see!”

When Dejun speaks and she smiles gleefully, all her excuses fall down as pure and futile lies.

“Dejun!” It’s ridiculous how her knees seem to give in, words filled with roses as she expects his mere attention to fall on her. Those two orbs—penetrating, piercing, become one with her. “I’m sorry I’m late. I was talking to my manager.”

Looking for a sabre, he places it in between her hands, his fingers coming in contact with hers with the softest touch. They’re calloused, if anything, come to learn most athletes don’t have the softest hands. “How did that go?”

“Well, horrible, you see.” She replies, well aware of the fact that— “My manager did not actually talk, but ignore my calls altogether. Texted me saying he hasn’t gotten any news.”

Dejun hisses at that, placing one hand on top of her shoulder as he leads her to the group of people. “Mhm, fencing can always help letting the steam off.”

“You know how to sell your business really well, you know?”

“…I’ve come to learn a thing or two.” Dejun, who grabs his sabre with more of a stronger grasp, though somewhat elegant in his approach, leans one leg forward. “I need you to take positions.” And she does, for something about the way he loves fencing just shows through. The love that knows no lies, no bleeding memories of a past that awes someone not to trust—he loves the sport so carelessly that he’d die for it. Would give his life out just for one moment with the sabre. “Always take into consideration, though, that fencing is about balance, elegance—it’s not about fighting, it’s about portraying art with your body.” Putting the sabre down, he clears his throat. “I’m Xiao Dejun, your instructor for today, and I will start going over the basic things about fencing. What it is, a part of its history, and then, we can move onto the actual sport on itself.”

When she was a student, there was always this one kid that prepared a little too magnificently, and while most people rotted in envy and rolled their eyes at said person’s presentation, she always found them to be…enchanting. To love something—not someone—enough for it to drive you to limits of yourself only to deliver something greater than what you have been taught shows strength. Perseverance is attractive at that moment when Dejun takes his time to instruct everyone how to properly stand when fencing, when putting on his mask and gliding the sabre as if it was part of his body.

But, she’s not that good at it.

At first, she doesn’t notice it—how to notice it when she’s working with people equally as bad as her? But when Dejun stands in front of her, sabre in hand, ready to take over the world, her breath gets caught in her throat, hard to swallow when he comes forward and forward, practically cornering her before the sabre bends onto her stomach.

“Don’t panic,” Dejun indicates. “That’s the first step. If you panic, you don’t act—and if you don’t act, you’re going to lose.”

She takes off her mask, then, a sigh ripping from the depths of her throat when she says: “Not everyone is born with talent like you, Dejun.”

Dejun chuckles at that, taking off his mask as well when he gives an answer. “I wasn’t born with talent for fencing. I just happened to make a mistake when I tried to get in the soccer team. Ended up signing myself up for fencing classes.”

Well, that’s surprising. “No way!”

“I did.” Dejun conquers. “You can’t imagine just how confused I was when I was given a sabre instead of a ball. But I made do.”

“Things happen for a reason.”

“They do.” Though, his eyes glide over her face, looking down at her lips momentarily before sweet laughter creeps up on him. Mhm, maybe he does think that destiny put her there.

Destiny is called Shishi Hong.

And it’s Dejun’s…ex…friend…

Ex friend with benefits?

Ex…friend that he liked?

Ex something.

“What are you doing on Friday?” She asks, lips coming together to wet themselves, and Dejun chuckles.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Dinner sounds nice.”

“Then, dinner it is.” Though, his sweetener ways come back when he quirks an eyebrow. “Did you just come here to ask me out on a date?”

If only he knew that she came here to shatter his heart. Instead to tell him just that, she smiles. “Maybe, maybe not. What’s the fun in telling you?”

Dejun puts his mask down, waving the sabre around her and making her stay on guard. “I have to get the answers out of you?”

“Not with a sabre.” She replies, a squeal on her voice when the sabre bends by her abdomen—again. Expected, honestly.

“How?”

A giggle rips from her throat then, shaking her head at his antics. “You’ll have to figure it out on our date, Dejun.”

“Damn it.” Dejun feigns anger, a pout on his lips when he adds: “Gotta give me your number after this, you know?”

“Oh, definitely.”

Though, she can feel a pair of piercing eyes on hers, different from Dejun’s—they freeze her in place when she realizes Chenhao is looking at her, somehow inspecting her situation. Perhaps, she knows her real intentions, those she has with the man that is being called over again, leaving with an apology as he helps another group of people.

Is she really doing this? Breaking someone’s heart just because of her friend?

###

Leonardo DiCaprio in The Great Gatsby would be proud of her look right now.

The night has never looked better, but with a satin dress clinging to her curves—coming directly from Elena’s wardrobe—and a striped long coat over it, she feels enigmatic. Little does Dejun know when he picks her up in his car, neither too expensive not too new, that she’s laid out to be a seductress. Not to sleep with him, Shishi would have her head if that was the case, but to bathe in confidence and let him seek for more.

Jay, Bingbing’s husband, hides most of his tattoos underneath the burlesque suit he has to wear. Red, fitted to his body, with a bowtie that conceals the lines of tattoos that scatter from his chest. His curly black hair is moved away from his face thanks to a lot of gel, making the strands glisten under the harsh lights of the casino-themed restaurant. It’s a beautiful place, not to be misunderstood, with spacious tables that represent those of poker in Las Vegas, plates themed in ways that would be misunderstood by the public had not they placed food on top of them. People dress up to the nines, and Dejun, sadly, didn’t seem to get the memo.

Shit, she had forgotten to tell him to just dress elegantly.

Though, her eyes can’t help but go over to him—the simplicity of such a man with a gray sweater half-tucked inside a pair of black jeans, who takes her breath away when he pushes his brown hair away from his face with his hand and asks for a table for two. These days, men like him are hard to find. Neruda poems made person, with an ode to love.

“I didn’t know you were bringing a date today.” Jay says from his spot, tapping his finger against the screen to showcase the width of available tables. Not that many, but the one near the window calls out for her name, so she points at it.

“Well, it’s not usual for me to bring a date whatsoever.” She replies, somehow widening her eyes at Jay. She only hopes Bingbing had not told him about their little bet—

“Touché.” Jay jots something down on the notebook before clearing his throat. “Please, let me take your coats while you’re inside. You can come directly to me to grab them once you plan to leave.”

Something about Dejun makes her heart swirl. It shouldn’t, but it does. When a summer day arrives and she has her precious iced tea, the ice always stays at the bottom, and she looks for them, moves them, lets them be the circle of her life for one second or two, maybe a few minutes. It’s nothing interesting, but it’s necessary. Just like him when he lifts his lips in one of those smiles that make his eyes look even more beautiful, placing both hands on top of her shoulders.

“May I?” And really, Shishi would kill her if she read her thoughts. For one, his rosy lips look inviting, eyes asking her if she’d rather imagine him as a sinning angel or a pure devil. Off the charts, she tells herself, shaking her head in the process before recomposing herself.

“Of course,” Though, she almost forgets that she’s dressed to kill—better dressed than she has ever been on any date. Whatever. It’s not like she’s actually seducing him with a back-less dress, but when the fabric of her coat glides across her shoulders, down her arms, she spares one look at him. “I’ll be cold, though.”

“I’ll keep you warm.” He says, though he laughs loudly at his own antics, rubbing his hands against her arms. Resided deep in her heart, it hits her like a train-wreck—she loves the jittery feeling of being there with him. When her cheeks can’t stop blaring heat and her lips are constantly being moistened simply because she wants to talk to him. Is this, perhaps, her way of betraying Shishi?

Her heels click against the tiles as she walks behind Jay, Dejun right by her side, eager to maintain the conversation going. “I didn’t take you as a flirt.”

Dejun’s eyes welcome the light perfectly. Maybe, solar energy was created because of him. Inspired on him. “Some people say I am,” He drags her seat for her to take, making sure not to flash the entirety of the restaurant when sitting down. She crosses one leg over the other as she hears him speak, the man moving over to the seat across from her. “But I actually think I’m just too nice. I don’t mean to flirt.”

Her fingertips trail over the menu, looking at the prices and silently praying for them to gain a coupon or something. The things she does to go out with Dejun.

Wait, wait, wait.

Hold that thought.

It’s the things she does for Shishi, not for Dejun.

Oh, my fucking God—

“I happen to be the least flirty person I know.” She says, going back and forth on their conversation, only to hear Dejun scoff.

“You are flirty.”

If only he knew her group of friends, he wouldn’t say such thing. “I’m not!” Oh wait, he does know someone in her group of things—

Shishi.

When is the last time she replied to one of her texts?

Had she been too busy talking to Dejun to actually embark in a conversation with her friend?

“I know someone you flirt with that is very aware of your flirting.” Dejun replies, thanking the waitress that comes with a glass of water before lifting the menu up in the air. “I’m feeling lobster, what about you?”

She laughs at his antics. Dejun, though not the most well-paid person, happened to embark in a lot of expensive tastes when he was travelling around the world for fencing competitions. At the time, his sponsors would pay everything—but now, the blows go directly to his bank account. “You feel like losing all your money in just one meal?”

“My grandma used to say to eat as if it was the last time you were doing so.” Dejun instructs, the nostalgia in his voice lingering in depths that she doesn’t want to think about. “And I happen to like lobster a lot.”

“I’m having carbonara.” She says, looking over to the waitress when she gives her the menu back.

The woman places the menu against her hip, jotting it out the slightest. “Anything else?”

“I have to drive so cola for me.” Dejun initiates, pointing at her with his chin. “What do you want?”

If she’s wrecking the night, she better do it like a star. “Wine for me. Red.”

“Alright. I’ll have your meals out in a minute.” The waitress says, bowing deeply before moving over to the kitchen. She loses sight of her when she leans her weight back against the leather of the seat she has taken up on.

“So…”

“When are you singing something for me?” Dejun asks, placing his elbows over the table and looking at her directly in the eye. Though she’s on the verge of bankruptcy, she still lifts her shoulders in a shrug.

“When you give me some inspiration, Dejun.”

“Me?” He asks in between a chuckle, using his thumb to point at himself.

“Do I know other Dejun?” She asks, biting on her nail softly as she leans forward as well, capturing his lips in one of her tracing gazes. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Why does she want to kiss him?

That wasn’t part of the deal—

But…to break his heart…she kind of has to have something with him.

Or is she just being selfish?

“You better not.”

Dejun is a feather that happened to fall in the ocean, and she’s the sailor that came across such thing, grasped it in her hands and now can’t get the fabric away from her fingertips. It clings to her in ways that she isn’t used to, but doesn’t hate at all. His words, the way he laughs, how he embarks in conversation without ever judging her—they meet in their differences, grow in their jokes, build something from the ground up respecting each other. It feels like talking to him goes by too quickly, the food disappearing even though she’s not that hungry. It’s that feeling of fitting with someone that she had heard about but had never lived through, and she absolutely hates it.

…To hide that she actually loves it.

A movie plays inside her head—not with the picture of kids and a house, but with the feeling of needing him to hold her. Everything he says connects him like a puzzle. Xiao Dejun started fencing when he was a child by accident, then it became the light of his eyes. His favorite person is his dad. He doesn’t prefer either tea or coffee, but if he has to choose, he loves tea. He wants to face all his fears even once in his life. He’s easily breakable. Though, he keeps it hidden, a secret that remains in between the two.

She keeps drinking and lets loose a little bit as well. Her dream of being a singer that started when she was twelve years old, watching one of those R&B singers on TV and then, needing to do something of the like. She learned how to play guitar and she does it averagely well, but nothing out of the ordinary. She’s careful—she doesn’t want to live regretting the things she has done, and when he asks if she’s ever regretted anything in her life, she shakes her head.

Never.

But now, she thinks she’s going to regret something—

Breaking his heart.

When the wine meets her head with a thump, she’s already out of the casino, dangling from Dejun’s shoulder as he holds her waist closely. His hand is warm, nice enough to leave her no choice but to daydream of that same hand roaming the entirety of her body. Perhaps, she has lit herself up in fire by drinking while he didn’t, but who cares about that?

No words come up to her mouth when Dejun leans her against the car to be able to open the passenger door, but she takes this time to inspect him. His messy hair, thick eyebrows, deep eyes—those lips, two sins asking for a taste. She needs a taste. Instead, she lets her hands wander, hovering over his waist before tugging at it, bringing him closer to look directly into his eyes.

He chuckles, playing with the strands of her hair to push them away from her face. “What’s up?”

“I want to do something…” She trails her voice, biting down on her bottom lip as she lets her utmost desire speak. She’s careful, of course, love is not what she wants—but somehow, she wants to relish on the feeling of him, having him underneath her to press kisses on his neck, make his world shake in the way that would settle her as a confident woman. It’s a promise to herself: sex. “Only if you want, though.”

Dejun must have caught up on what she said, his smile falling as he widens his eyes. “Something like w—what?”

“Like doing me.” She replies, heat catching up with her face, making Dejun chuckle as he shakes his head.

“I won’t do that. You’re drunk, first.” He instructs. “And secondly, I don’t have sex with people on the first date. Sorry.”

She tries to push herself away at that moment, embarrassment making a home out of her, but her back comes in contact with the door of the car. “O—Oh, shit, sorry, forget I even said that. I’m so stupid—”

Dejun shakes his head rapidly. “N—Not that I don’t want you! I just…I have a weird view of love, I guess. And sex, altogether.” Dejun takes the spot beside her, looking up at the sign that reads the name of the restaurant. “God, you’re so hot. I…I don’t know how I am capable to deny you, but I am doing it.”

Something ignites in her heart, nodding at what he says. “It’s okay.” She whispers. “What’s that view you have of love and sex?”

“That sex has erased love. Now love is the taboo.”

She chuckles at what he says, humming along. “You’re right.”

“I’m a romanticist, I guess.” Dejun instructs. “I’ve…I’ve grown with the idea of just…just having that foundation of feeling something before I get in the sheets with someone. Not that I don’t think it’s stupid sometimes—”

“It isn’t.” She cuts him short, opening the passenger’s door in the process. “Sex is overrated.”

“It is.”

“And I’m sorry for asking.”

“No, no—!” What he doesn’t know, however, is that she shouldn’t have even thought about it. Shishi comes up to her brain right at that moment. “Maybe, uh, maybe we can talk about our expectations on the subject on the second date?”

Before she could get inside the car, she quirks an eyebrow. “Second date?”

“Only if you want to…”

With a big smile on her face, she says: “Why wouldn’t I want to? It’s you we’re talking about, Dejun.”

###

Mondays have become the designated fencing day for the past month. Not that she has gotten any better—but it’s an excuse to see Dejun.

Just as she’s walking through the neighborhood, phone in hand (and she can hear Dejun cursing at her for doing this), she reads through the group-chat. Lately, she hasn’t been checking up much with her friends. Her manager has had her auditioning for a bunch of shows in hopes of getting in, to no avail, and along with that, she has tried to balance out her romantic life to spend more time with Dejun. Since…breaking his heart…could be easier if she gets to know him better.

Or it’s just one big excuse to get to know him.

From: Bingbing.

[Picture Attached]

Jay just sent me this because he had forgotten he had taken this picture.

Here we have Xiao Dejun using his pretty eyes on our designated heartbreaker.

The picture showcases her date from nearly three weeks ago. Dejun is seated across from her, cheek held up by his palm as he looks directly at her. Her lips are parted, speaking about something with wide hand movements, and she can’t help but laugh. His eyes settle on her with a twinkle she likes.

From: Shishi.

Hold up.

Why did you dress up hot?

Were you trying to get inside his pants?

Well…uh, how does one tell one of her best friends that she tried to when drunk, but that he gently denied because he just wasn’t ready?

To: Group-Chat.

Oh my God, Shishi, no.

From: Shishi.

Why did you dress up hot, then?

To: Group-Chat.

Because it’s a date…

If you were going to be all jealous over Dejun, why did you ask me to break his heart?

From: Shishi.

He looks very fucking happy right there.

Why did you offer to break Dejun’s heart?

Did you just think he was handsome and that you wanted to fuck him?

To: Group-Chat.

Calm down, Shishi.

You’re talking to me as if I’m some whore.

From: Shishi.

You have more of a body count than I do.

To: Group-Chat.

How do you even know that?

Stop making up bullshit.

Her ears blare up with heat at that, pushing her phone into the depths of her pocket before lifting her gaze. Shishi has some fucking nerve to talk to her that way. As if it wasn’t one of her grand ideas, even though she denied, to have her meeting up with Dejun. Whatever.

The air bites at her skin, going through her white t-shirt as she nears the fencing place. Instead, she’s welcomed by the sight of two people already outside. Not one of the students, but two of the instructors instead. Chenhao is leaning against the wall, cigarette in between her fingertips as Dejun talks closely to her. Chenhao is a bit taller than Dejun, one leg crossed over the other as he smirks down at her. His eyes inspect her features, taking the cigarette from her hand before stepping on it. Chenhao doesn’t seem phased, instead crossing her arms over her chest as if challenging.

Something creeps up inside her when Dejun talks to her softly, like a flower in the middle of a garden that he wants to see grow.

“Dejun! Chenhao!” She calls out at that moment, moving over to them to see Chenhao lifting her gaze and Dejun smiling as if he had not been caught strangely close to Chenhao. The woman in question breathes out her name before grinning.

“You still come to class; I see.” Chenhao spares one look at Dejun before shrugging. “Let’s see how much this lasts.” Before she could further question her sentence, Chenhao opens the door of the salon before entering, leaving a trail of smoke behind her.

“…What the hell does that mean?” She asks in a mere whisper, watching Dejun who shakes his head.

“I have no idea.” He replies, but she can call bullshit on that.

“I think you have a good idea of what she means.” She says, looking at the cigarette that lays lifelessly on the gray concrete. “What is it? Are Chenhao and you a thing or…?”

Dejun chuckles at her words, blowing a raspberry at the end. “Oh no,” He denies quickly. “She used to train with me for the Olympics, but she has been fucking it all up with her addiction to cigarettes. I need her to get back in the game.”

For a moment, she thinks about all the times she had helped her friends—and how they had helped her, too. Maybe, that is why she is here with him on the first place. “That’s good, but it’s her life. The only person that can change her is herself.”

Dejun stares off into the street, that restaurant in front of them one that they had never visited. The city fits him just as well as nature. Something about him is just universal. “Yeah, but I’ll try to change her until she goes back to the person she used to be. I believe in her.”

Now, she realizes that her heart is beating too rapidly—both in jealousy and in happiness, somehow. “So, that’s why a bunch of women fall in love for you, huh?”

“What?”

“That dreamy look…those eyes…” She whispers, a rasp in her tone. “That’s the tactic.”

“I have flirty eyes, I guess.” He answers, running his hand over her arm before catching her fingers with hers. “But, as of now, I only use them on one person.”

“And that would be…?”

“You.”

###

Once you see someone’s apartment, it’s over. That’s either for a hook-up, you’re on the friendzone, or simply because they’re comfortable enough with you to show you the place in which they are their truest selves.

Dejun’s place is different from hers. Where do they meet? They’re both a bit disorganized. Dejun scatters uniforms across his living room, the white walls contrasting what she normally sees him in—that bone colored fencing uniform that she has managed to learn how to love. By the right, a small kitchen remains almost spotless, if she doesn’t count the random snacks she sees around. She thinks she just saw crackers next to noodles, and if he’s having them together, she may sue him.

“Don’t tell me you eat crackers with noodles.”

Dejun closes the door behind him, putting down the packages of chips they had just bought for their movie night. “Noodles with crackers, with saltines, with chips. I once had them with chocolate cookies…but I wouldn’t recommend it.”

“Ew, Dejun!” She complains, swatting his arm softly as she takes a seat on the couch, pushing the uniform he had draped on the arm’s rest to the side, folding it carefully in the process. “I don’t know what’s more of a disaster, this living room or your stomach.”

“My mom didn’t raise a guy who is scared of eating.” Dejun implies, already opening a bag of extra spicy chips before lending it over to her. “You know what the fun thing about this snack is?”

“What?” Her voice lingers with happiness, something that always comes when being around Dejun.

“That we don’t know which ones are spicy and which ones are, well, not spicy.” He plops himself down to her side, wrapping an arm around her shoulder that she can’t help but take. Why is it that the air feels far more favorable when by his side? “And I’m betting you’re going to end up biting all the spicy ones.”

“Ha!” She replies, already looking for the remote to search for a movie. Something comedy, perhaps, she’s feeling like watching something of the like of dark comedy—maybe Horrible Bosses? “I’m betting I’m not. I’ve got wits, baby.”

“And looks, too.” She hears him say, soon after pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. “I’ll eat the spicy ones for you.”

“You’ll like them. That’s not fair.”

“And?”

“…Asshole.” She replies, well aware of the nickname Shishi always calls him—fencer asshole.

That couldn’t be more far from the truth.

It’s the comfort of being half on his body, laying her head on his chest and feeling his heart thump to the beat of a trap song, as if the bass is boosted and he goes from slow to quick. His lips wrap on big smiles, laughing like a maniac at the portions she loves the most, fingers raking over her hair, going through the portions that he knows she likes the most. She could fall asleep like this, with one of his hands resting on her hip, rubbing soothing circles over her jeans. This is not the type of imagery she’d show to her friends.

But who cares about her friends right at this moment?

What can she do when she says she’s cold, and Dejun drapes his jacket on top of the two of them, taking the arms to bring her closer by tightening them around his waist? The fabric tugs at the two of them uncomfortably, and she can’t stop laughing as they are face to face, looking into his precious eyes that create a rich brown mirror for her to look at herself into. It’s at this moment that she knows she wants Xiao Dejun, not only as a heartbreak, but as someone else—she wants to be able to be like this for as long as this romance is supposed to last.

She doesn’t want to break his heart.

“I thought you weren’t a flirt.” She tells him, her breath ghosting on top of his face, and his eyes trail down to look at her moving lips. It’s the kind of memory that will forever live in her brain—when she feels the most lightweight.

“I get by.” Dejun replies, leaning forward to peck her lips softly, delicately, as if he has all the time of the world, licking his lips before leaning forward again, reputing her in an adventure that she shouldn’t have taken place in, but she does. Her fingers thread through his locks, moving her body up until her legs rest in between his, chest pressed to his, body molding to his as if they were meant to be united. The sound that fills the air connects their lips in rhythmic motions, ones that she can’t get out of her head, breathing heavily against his lips.

Shishi said not to kiss him, not to let his hands roam as he touches her waist, her hips, her thighs, becomes one with the knowledge of what she likes and what she doesn’t. Shishi said not do this, to break his heart.

But at this very moment, it would be easier for Dejun to break her heart instead.

###

Though her manager, Hao, had been clear about her mini appearance at a café, she doesn’t feel less nervous. For once, she can say that cafés are the worst thing to ever be created—vintage, nostalgic, filled with teenagers who want to have as many Americanos as possible and adults that think the beige walls and white tables are their aesthetic. Croissants, coffee and cream, someone with tea that she can’t quite recognize, and a guitar that weights heavily on her lap.

The seat she is on is uncomfortable, trying to tune her guitar before she starts singing. Her manager sits along with Bingbing and Shishi, both having brought themselves here even when it clashed with their work hours—they needed to bring support, but all they did was stare at her as her hands shook. It’s been a while since she has truly sung in front of people, full sets, and live above all.

She needs to gain some confidence, but she doesn’t. The guitar strums uncomfortably and she hears someone coughing when she leans into the microphone. She closes her eyes tightly, trying to remember the love songs she has written for the past two months. Memories of Dejun, of the sand in between her fingers, the songs they have shared together, of the smell of cigarettes that never comes from him but from Chenhao instead. Things she dreams about with him, for him, all drowning her away from the nervousness that keeps her on surface.

And she lets go.

“Welcome, I’m going to be singing for the next two hours—” She says, instructing her name into the microphone before sending a smile towards her manager. “You can ask for some songs later on, if I know it, I will sing it. Whatever it is…I’m here for you.”

She thinks she has it together—this is only part of her dream. Someday, she will get discovered, she tries to convince herself, but the moment her song starts in a major tune, E, then C, she loses it all. Her fingers continue playing, but when she parts her lips, the note comes out flat, as if her vibratos hadn’t been practiced…or if she didn’t know how to hold her tone at all.

The song goes on for another two minutes, far from what she wanted but somehow, not bad for those listening. Only when she hears the door of the café opening, she opens her eyes, welcoming the stance of the man that enters the café. Cladded in a striped shirt and light jeans, Dejun crosses his arms over his chest to wave his hand softly, smiling at her before leaning against the wall next to the entrance door.

And with all those creamy colors and the smile on his face—the smile of his eyes that she has never managed to understand, she finally gets to sing again.

It’s weird how he brings all these emotions up on her, how he has become such a comfortable feeling for her, far enough for her to concentrate only on him for the first hour, only stopping to take a drink of her tea and warm up her vocal cords. It’s at that moment that she sees two people nearing her, and she expects one of them to be Dejun, but when she feels a pair of skinny arms wrap around her, the smell of bleach coming from someone’s hair, she knows it’s Shishi.

Her beloved Shishi.

And her beloved Dejun.

What a shame she can’t have both.

Jewels shine in his eyes when she pulls away, recognition overtaking him when Shishi says: “Oh fuck, I’m so proud of you!” And the excitement of her voice is welcomed by a shy smile from her, capturing Dejun’s glance as he lifts his eyebrows, mouthing a ‘we’ll talk later’ to her.

“Shishi—”

“We have to go work right now,” Bingbing says, fixing the bag on her shoulder. “But you’re killing it, babe. For real.”

“Thanks…”

Though, she can’t say much as they slip away from the café, Dejun taking careful steps forward, as if pondering to get near her, not even cutting the situation short when he reaches her, frowning deeply when he asks: “You know Shishi? You’re friends with her?”

“Ah…” She rubs the back of her neck, taking another sip from her Styrofoam cup. She could say the truth—or a distorted version of it, but instead, she opts to look him straight in the eyes. She doesn’t want to miss any of them. Shishi once said he was egotistical, that he played with a bunch of women all at once; games that she would never understand, but she’d rather play this game than not play it at all. “I—I know Bingbing, I don’t exactly—I don’t consider myself close to Shishi.”

“We…uh, she had a crush on me for the longest time and was a bit obsessive about it.”

Now, she knows. Now, she finally sees that they were just friends…and maybe, she misunderstood everything. “I had no idea.”

“You sure?”

With the straightest face, she fixes the strap of her guitar, strumming a chord before nodding. “Of course, baby, why would I lie to you?”

But she does it straight to his face, singing all those songs that mean the truth but knowing one thing—

She has to lose one. Either Shishi or Dejun.

###

Dejun shakes her autumn does to its leaves, softly, making her fall more and more for him in the days they meet and finally, in the first night they shared. It takes Dejun almost three months for him to feel fully comfortable—for the romantic in him to clad him away from the clothing that covers him, for his breaths to mingle with hers as they become one, hands placed on top of her head, lips wanting nothing more than to connect with hers. It is as though every sound that leaves him is music for her, and maybe, they’re the inspiration for the album she will once have.

When she goes to sleep, she goes with a visual in mind—Dejun, laying on her bed, with one hand behind his head, the other resting on his bare chest, the taut muscles from his days and nights of training leaving nothing to the imagination. Her lips connect to the mole on his forehead, speaking softly against his skin about the beauty of him. She doesn’t think she will ever forget it.

But the night clashes into sleep, awakening her only when she hears the loud rustle of the sheets, accompanied by the harsh sound of someone mumbling to themselves. Cuss after cuss after cuss. When she opens her eyes, groggily at first, she realizes that half of the covers have draped away from her, leaving her bare to the world, but the man in front of her doesn’t care, holding her phone in her hand as he puts on his pair of jeans.

She doesn’t know why her heart skips a beat—she doesn’t talk to other men romantically, but somehow, she knows there are secrets on that phone that she doesn’t want Dejun to see. How in the world did he manage to figure out her password?

“What are you doing with my phone?” She asks, barely audible as she pulls the covers farther up her chest, covering herself up as Dejun finally looks at her. “Dejun, why were you looking through my phone?”

“I saw your password the first time we met, accidentally. I figured it was the same.” Though, he throws the phone on the bed, close enough for her to grab and unlock it. What he was looking at hits her like a train—he was reading through her group-chat, months and months worth of information displayed in front of her eyes. “And I wasn’t going to do it, but Shishi kept calling you this morning and I answered, yeah, sorry, I answered your fucking phone but Shishi was even more surprised to hear I was staying the night at your place.”

Fuck. Shishi must be fucking devastated. “Dejun—”

“So, Shishi said—” He puts his shirt on before sighing. “Shishi fucking said that she didn’t know we were still seeing each other, considering that you told her that you had broken things with me…and for someone who said she wasn’t that close to Shishi, that sounded awfully like friendship.”

“Dejun…” Her voice breaks, even worse than when she’s nervous and she’s about to sing. “It’s not what you think—”

“No, it wasn’t what I thought. I thought that you actually liked me, that I was finally having a good thing for once—”

“But I do like you!”

Dejun, out of anger, grabs one of the cushions they had dropped on the floor last night and tosses it to the wall behind her, thumping loudly until it falls, making her lamp almost fall for the floor had she not grabbed it. “Stop fucking lying! Shishi said that you were supposed to break my heart. She didn’t know how, and supposedly, you told her you had done it already, so I looked through your phone and much to my surprise, all I see are details about our dates, about how in love you have me—”

All an act, she thought it was. She wanted to keep both her friendship, her pride and her relationship with Dejun. It backfired, heavily, enough to take her breath away. “Dejun, baby, I’m so sorry. Just—When I started doing this, I thought you were an asshole. Shishi said you broke her heart to pieces and I wanted to do it for my friend—”

“Then, why didn’t you fucking tell me?” Dejun asks, shaking his head after, pinching the bridge of his nose in the process. “No. How fucking immature do you have to be make a bet like that? Love isn’t a fucking game.”

“W—Well, I was told it was for you.”

“I’m just nice to people, sorry. I never played with Shishi. That’s called being selective—talking to people and seeing if they’re your fit or not. I’m not obligated to shit.” His voice is venom when she looks through the masses of messages, how she aspired to make everyone believe she didn’t like him, but—

“Dejun, I’m so into you. Please, please, just believe me in this one.” Tears stream down her face at that moment, standing up with her blanket tightened across her body. “Dejun, I’m so sorry.”

“Congratulations.” Dejun whispers, opening the door to her room and having her follow closely. She almost trips a bunch of times, the blankets becoming one with her feet as she moves. “You broke someone’s heart. You were fucking right. It was that easy.”

“Dejun!”

When the entrance door closes right at her face, her fist comes in contact with the surface. In reality, she had to lose someone…

What a shame it was the person she loved.

To: Group-Chat.

I broke someone’s heart.

Mine.

#xiaojun scenarios #xiaojun #wayv scenarios #wayv #nct scenarios #nct #kpop scenarios #writing #how to lose someone in seven steps?

83 notes · View notes

shyneanon · 3 years

Note

hi there!! since christmas is coming near (although there's the danger of virus) how about you create UT Sans and an alone on christmas reader? (sorry my english is badXD)

I’m a little late on this but I’ve been wanting to write it ever since I saw it! I just got other stuff in life, y’know? But here it is! It was fun :3

Also, your English is great! Especially considering how difficult English is to learn e_e

---

You set your phone aside after your unpleasant call to your family. You wanted to be with them for Christmas, but… there was drama going on between some of them, and your call had just confirmed it was getting brought up between family members when everyone was supposed to be having a good time. You were glad you’d decided not to fly all the way over there. You didn’t need to be in the middle of others arguing. Not on Christmas.

That said, the alternative wasn’t much better. Now, on Christmas Eve, you were basically alone. The tiny tree in your apartment had some lights on it, but besides that there wasn’t much up for decoration. You were just sitting by yourself, in your apartment, eating peppermint bark and half paying attention to a dumb Hallmark movie playing on your TV. Depressing.

As much as you didn’t want to be a bother to anyone, you decided to message Sans. The guy was probably with friends— a lot of people liked him, and for good reason— but he was relaxed, so he probably wouldn’t find it annoying.

You: Hey, tell Papyrus Merry Christmas for me.

Well, that had… barely made you feel a little better. You sighed, lying back down on your bed.

Your phone buzzed.

Sans: will do.

Hey, it was something.

Another buzz.

Sans: you’re out of town, right? with your fam?

You grimaced. For a moment you considered lying, and then immediately felt horrible for it. He was your friend— your best friend. He’d always been here for you when you needed him. And he was funny. And he made you feel comfortable… You liked him a lot.

Platonically. It wasn’t that you had a crush on him or anything.

There was no reason to lie. He wouldn’t judge you for being alone. So instead you turned it into a joke. You took a photo of yourself eating peppermint bark, with the TV in the background, and captioned it

You: I’m with meeeee.

Just looking at your own message made you feel a little less bad about it. Using humor as a coping mechanism. Now where have I seen that before?

“Hey kiddo.”

You jumped at the voice and then sat up. Sans was standing in the middle of your room. “Uh, hey.” You raised an eyebrow and smiled. “You just… teleported in here without asking, huh?”

“You showed me a photo.”

“I could’ve not been wearing any pants,” you said playfully. Sans’ face turned blue and that got your face to heat up. You hadn’t intended to embarrass him. Deciding to change the subject, you nodded at his sweater with a grin. “Love the sweater.”

It was hideous in the best way, and it had clearly been made for him because it was decorated with skull patterns where snowflake patterns would be, as well as a couple of depictions of himself and his brother.

“Thanks,” he said. “A good friend made it for me.”

Your smile faltered. “I don’t want to take you away from your friends. Don’t worry about me or anything.”

“You’re my friend too,” he argued, and you smiled.

“Thanks.”

“Besides, I knew it was gonna be depressing, but…” He sat down next to you, close enough that your shoulders were touching, and looked around. “... this is really depressing.”

“Gee, thanks.”

He gave you a wink, and you grinned. He could cheer you up so fast. It was like magic.

“Whatcha watchin’?” he asked, gesturing to the TV screen, where a man and a woman dressed in winter clothes were talking on a snowy street.

“I don’t even know,” you said. “I got bored and turned it on. It’s some kind of romance.”

“I didn’t know you were a sucker for romance.”

Your face got hot. “I’m not, I was just too lazy to look for something else.” You nudged him. “I’m pretty sure the twist is he’s a ghost and at the end he’s gonna leave but he’s taught her a positive lesson.”

“That sounds sad to me.”

“I think it’s supposed to be bittersweet,” you said, and then snorted when you noticed the couple were now standing underneath some mistletoe. “Oh geez, it’s so contrived. Of course with the mistletoe.”

“What, you don’t like it?” For some reason, he sounded genuinely concerned. As if there would be something wrong if you didn’t.

“Not that. It’s just implausible. Who even does that anymore? I’ve never seen mistletoe anywhere before. In public or in someone’s home.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“There’s some in your house.”

Confused, you turned to look at him only to find that he was dangling some mistletoe between the both of you. His face was blue.

“Uh oh,” he said with a shrug, his blush darkening. He was avoiding eye contact. “Looks like we’re… gonna have to…”

He glanced at you shyly and you felt your face get very hot very fast. Despite the sudden rush of… definitely platonic feelings… you were having, your head was clear enough for you to realize something. “Sans… did you bring that mistletoe here? In… your pocket?”

“... M… Maybe.” Your lack of immediate response seemed to have made him nervous. “But… I mean it’s not like we literally have to—“

“N… no,” you said, “it’s OK. I, um, want to.”

He made eye contact with you, looking surprised, and you both blushed.

He coughed. “S… sure, yeah. OK.”

You swallowed as he started to lean closer to you. Was… was this actually happening? Were you going to kiss? Or had you fallen asleep? Maybe this was some kind of dream….

Well, it wasn’t a bad dream, so… you leaned towards him, trying to ignore how fast your heart was racing.

It was pretty much impossible to ignore once your lips and his teeth made contact. It was like a jolt of very high-voltage electricity. You immediately leaned into it, and Sans responded by doing the same. Before you even knew what was happening your arms were around his neck and his were around your waist, pulling you closer. The movie and mistletoe were quickly forgotten. After several more kisses you both relaxed, still holding onto each other.

“Wow,” you said.

His face was a deep blue. “Y… yeah, wow.”

You both looked each other in the eyes, any hesitation you’d had in making eye contact gone.

“... Do you think… we could maybe do that again?”

You didn’t say anything, just kissed him again. The adrenaline felt incredible…. You could stay like this forever. He must have been thinking the same thing, because it took a lot longer for the two of you to finish this time. His hands felt your sides and you curled up into him, kissing along where his jawline would be. Both of you made soft sighing and humming sounds.

“You decide to kiss me when I’m a mess?” you asked him in between kisses.

“You’re not a mess,” he replied, “you look amazing.”

“No I don’t.”

“You always do,” he said, lying down and pulling you with him. You snuggled into him.

“How long?” you asked quietly.

“... A while,” he confessed, wrapping his arms around you.

“... Same.” You could’ve said something too but you’d just been in denial the whole time. Like a child. “Thanks for telling me.”

“Took me long enough.”

Some silence. You were fine with that. The two of you just… lay like that, for a while. He was so soft, and warm, despite being only made of bones. You were just happy that he was here. With you. Like this.

Eventually, you realized he must have been here a while. “Y… you should… probably go now, huh?”

“Nah, I’ll stay here tonight. And you can join us all in the morning.” He winked. “All this has made me sleepy.”

You giggled, and his smile widened. “Dork.”

He pulled you closer. “I could really go for a nap right now. Like always.” He ran his fingers through your hair. “Care to join?”

You smiled softly and kissed him one more time before laying your head on his chest.

Best Christmas ever.

#one shot #fluff #christmas #classic sans #undertale sans #sans x reader #self-insert #reader-insert

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spacehologramcollection · 5 years

Text

Request; Kombat Kast proposing to their S/O

Some fluffy goodness for everyone to warm their hearts. Before I write some horrific smut that dashes everyone’s hopes I’m off my bullshit. Some pure fluff, tooth rotting fluff actually, you better phone your dentist it’s that sweet. There’s a cut half way down, but not because of smut! Just because these are like a page long each. This is FUCKING long post. It took me three hours to write, because I had to make four cups of tea as well. If you want more people adding, please tell me and I can do a Part two; Electric boogaloo. GIFS are not mine and do not belong to me.

Kuai Liang/ Sub Zero;

· He plans it down to the last little detail. He is a perfectionist and likes everything to be organised. He would have a secret binder dedicated to the planning of it. Kept in between his ‘Shit to say to Bi-Han when I see him’ and ‘Ice Puns’ binders.

· He wants it to be special and perfect and will know exactly what you want. He listens, cares and is attentive. So, he’s going to know you on a pretty intimate level. The only thing he doesn’t want to do, is a massive public proposal, he’s not going to confess his love for you. When half of the Special Forces unit is behind him. He could not cope and it’s too much for him. So intimate and just the two of you. But he will make it dam special.

· He doesn’t act nervous at all. But he’s dying and struggling on the inside. He’s just good at keeping face and acting like it doesn’t bother him. But he’s nervous on the inside.

· He’ll be ringing his hands a little beforehand, he’ll be smiling a little more than usual as well. He won’t be giving you any hints however. That’s all a secret he doesn’t want to ruin.

· He’ll take you outside the Temple, far from prying eyes and anyone who could potentially ruin the moment. All under the guise he wants to go for a walk. He’ll have brought a thermal flask full of tea and a blanket for you in case you get cold. He will let you wear one of his coats, he doesn’t understand why he has them anyway.

· He’ll bring you to a secluded location, which is atop a Geiser and has a natural hot spring bath. He’ll honestly ask if you fancy taking a swim with him. He’s already preparing to jump in, tits out and prepared for what must be a normal temperature for him. He reassures you it’ll be warm.

· After you’re both in, he ends up dragging you over to him, letting you sit on his lap whilst he sits on one of the ledges. He’ll be kissing your neck ever so softly. Playing with your hair and whispering in your ear.

· Don’t expect him to get on one knee because that was never going to happen. He’ll bring up instead how Sareena asked about you joining the Lin Kuei. At first, you’ll be thinking you’ve been dragged all the way here, to talk about you dressing like a ninja, but not being a ninja, but kind of like one. But they aren’t Ninjas. God they aren’t Ninjas, don’t call them Ninjas. They fucking are.

· He’ll then go on and on about what he loves about you, your honour, integrity, your kindness, your eyes all of that jazz. He gets really cuddly and his breathing becomes a bit staggered, he starts coughing a little (In game he coughs ice and that’s actually cute as fuck) as his throat dries up.

· It ends up coming up as; ‘There’s no position for you to join as a member… but there is the position as Wife of the Grandmaster’ God that sounds awful and he cringes internally. He’s just asked you so formally, as if there was a fucking form for you to fill in. It’s sort of sweet and extremely formal. But would It be any other way?

· If you say yes (Which OFC you will because it’s fucking Sub Zero and he’s precious) he’ll give you his Grandmothers ring. His Grandfather gave it to him. Because he was totally his Grandfathers favourite, because he’s not a little edgy shit lord.

Kabal;

· Both pre and post burn, expect something wild, unexpected and totally lush. He puts a fair bit of thought into it. And it will always be personal and the two of you.

· He’ll have a brainstorming session with Erron and Kano. Which ends with Erron offering to marry you instead of Kabal. He’s not happy with that and frowns like fuck. Kano is of no fucking use at all. He’s not the king of romance. He ends up getting an idea from him though.

· Kabal hates the cold and loves to be warm. So, he’d aim to propose to you somewhere warm. Will book you plane tickets to go to the Land down Under itself, specifically Tasmania. Thank you, Kano and your accent, (your only redeeming quality) Won’t tell you he got the idea from him.

· He’ll offer to take you on a hike, ending in some late-night camping and maybe a few drinks.

· Fun fact about Kabal, for someone who can run really fast and is speed, he is a bit lazy and hates hiking. Walking is boring and its stupidly hot.

· Papa is out of shape, in this weather and just walking. He want to sprint to the top but he doesn’t want to leave you. He offers to give you a piggyback to the top, but he knows how dizzy and sick it makes you. You cannot throw up now. He’s planned the perfect night.

· Wishes he’d opted for the other equator, but he’s committed to it now.

· After you climb to a high place, set up camp and open a few cold ones, he’ll wait till its dark and slowly pray its going to happen.

· Fuck the Northern Lights, have you ever seen the Southern Lights? Because you sure have. All the purples and pinks blend together, and its amazing to watch as you’re both laid back on a blanket. His arm is around your waist, your head is on his chest and you’re both so amazed.

· He ends up asking you to grab him another beer. He’s placed the ring around the neck of a bottle (He had no idea what to do with this part) when you turn around he’s just knelt there. “I feel like a bit of a tit now… but…” What he says next will depend on if he’s pre or post burn.

· Pre-Burn’; Talking about your life together so far. How you put up with his jokes, him leaving his hook swords on the table. How you both have trashy music tastes, how you both sing and scream drunk together and how he loves you. And couldn’t think of any other person he’d want to spend the remainder of his life with. Post-Burn; It’s a lot more intimate and real. He talks about how he knew you’d never leave him after his accident. But how he always feared it happening because he felt like a monster. But you showed him he wasn’t like that and brought him back from the brink. He’ll also go on about how you complete him, and he will never meet another like you.

· The ring is exactly what you want. He’s been paying attention to what you’ve been looking at, will make sure he buys you jewellery for Christmas or your Birthday, so he has the ring size, style and all that sorted. It’s something that’s personal and intimate. He made sure you’d love it. What a good egg.

Scorpion/ Hanzo Hasashi;

· The decision to propose to you tore him up a lot. He’d meditate and think about it a lot. Like how could he move on from his wife? In the end Kuai ends up helping him through the emotions. Talking about how the past should be left, he’s been reborn with a new chance in life. And how he’s avenged her, and everything is once more at peace. This eases him… that and he asks for advice, it was a lot simpler the first time he proposed and was very traditional. Sub is lost and just smiles awkwardly. He’s not a wise man when it comes to others personal lives. He barely has control over his own.

· He ends up opting for what he knows and goes down the traditional route. He ends up wanting to meet your family. If you have a father he’ll totally ask permission, because tradition, if you don’t he’ll ask your mothers. Its traditional and its just the way he would be. He’s not asking their permission for your hand, because you’re your own person, it’s more a sign of respect. And he likes to respect people. He doesn’t want to be pissing anyone off either. He’s trying to maintain and keep peace not cause more drama. He’s had enough of that shit for a lifetime.

· He’ll plan it down to every little detail. Everything is going to be perfect and exactly like he planned. God help anyone who messes with his plan. Grandmaster Grumpy face will fucking rage. Someone knocked over the vase he carefully placed to add to the aesthetic, they better clean it up before he sees it.

· He’ll make sure to get you a decent ring. He’ll spend a lifetime trying to pick one out. It has to perfect for you. In the end he opts to get it custom made and he’ll be involved in the process. It’s a little bit more special and personal that way. Gets it engraved with the date he’s planning to propose.

· The day is just a normal one for you. He’s walking with you and asking if you would fancy a walk in the Fire Garden. Nothing out of the ordinary. Only, other members see him coming and flee the fucking scene. Practising those ninja skills of making themselves scarce quickly and silently. Hanzo is so proud and grateful.

· You’ll end up stopping on the bridge, overlooking the little stream, all the petals are falling, and everything is looking fucking magical. It’s all going to plan.

· So why is he nervous? The plan is going off without a hitch, he’s done this before and never struggled. His throat will feel dry, you look so perfect surrounded by all the petals.

· Will end up monologing about some ancient history of the garden. He’s trying to buy himself time. His fingers are running over the ring in his pocket, because he keeps thinking he’s lost it every five minutes.

· He ends up taking the plunge, talking about how you’ve had the patience of a saint with him, and how you complete him. How he never thought he could love again or move on but you’ve made him see he was wrong. He’ll talk about how you’ve always discussed the future as if it was far away, when in actual fact, it’s here and now.

· He would get on one knee and ask you. He’s a sucker for tradition and its all good. Its so sweet and personal and just the two of you.

· Takeda isn’t hiding in the fucking foliage spying and being a nosy… he 110% is because he made this happen, he set you up and look what’s happening. Maybe now Hanzo will stop riding everyone’s arse and be happy for five minutes… he’s still going to be a grouch and he knows it. But as long as he’s happy with you its all cool.

Johnny Cage;

· He’ll either want something extremely flashy, out there and lavish. Or something a bit more private. It’ll depend on what stage of his career he’s in. If he’s still living large, straight after his divorce. Prepare to be hounded by the paparazzi.

· Would ask you to marry him at one of his movie premiers. In front of everyone. It’s ridiculously OTT, extravagant and just too much.

· The ring would put a Kardashian rock to fucking shame. It’s too much and way too gawdy and over the top. He’ll make a massive show out of it and make it a big event. LIVESTREAMED everywhere. Live tweeted. You’re like the last to know about it, but not in a good way.

· If he was to do it when he’s older and more mature, it’ll be a lot less tame but still extravagant.

· He’d totally ask Cassie for permission. Like making sure she’s fine with him re-marrying. She just wants her dad to be happy and loves you so it’s all good. She wants to be maid of honour and will not settle for flower girl.

· She helps him plan it, because she knows you well and will totally be trying to calm her dad out. Because she does not want a movie quote to be the proposing line. She’ll make sure it’s chill and to your liking.

· Fancy dinner, you’ve been pampered the day before, your nails are done, hair is on point and you are decked in some fine clothes.

· He’ll be reminiscing about some of your old adventures, and just generally making a joke out of most things.

· He’ll be all chilled and listening to you one minute, and then BAM, he’s like ‘What if you were to become Hollywood royalty… by marrying me?’ He wants to stress that you’ll be marrying him if you say yes.

· There’s a photographer, a string quartet and everyone is looking at you. All wooing and gushing over how romantic it seems.

· If you say yes, what fans he does have, will be seething he’s getting married. Take joy in that.

Raiden; (BOOM some Thunder God. Thirsty Thunder fans, this is for you)

· Okay. So, he’s a God, basically spent a lifetime on Earthrealm and that gets kind of lonely. I mean he’s got Windy Boy to keep him company, but like, not on an intimate level you both have.

· He hears about marriage, he knows it’s a custom that both Earthrealm and other realms share, but it’s always intrigued him. Bonding for life seems so sweet to him. Like the majestic Swan, the adorable penguin, and the beaver (That’s a free fact, take it and do what you will with it)

· Would honestly Consult the Elder Gods to ask for their advice, like if he can marry a mortal, like how would it work? Would you be granted a longer life span, could he prolong it? There’s a lot of kinks to work out in this plan.

· He loves you a lot. So much so he wants to spend the rest of his life with you… even though he knows that may not be possible. He wants to make sure you’re safe, protected and loved for as long as he can possibly do it.

· He’s never felt anything like the feelings he feels for you. That’s a sure-fire sign that it’s meant to be.

· He’ll try and plan a proposal but it’s not really a proposal. It’s more an offer. He’s offering himself to you, so he can be with you for as long as possible. He doesn’t want to ever let you go and wants to make every moment count with you.

· He’s got to keep his loyalty to the realm, not matter how much he loves you, he has his honour and duty to do. So, he cannot forsake his God-hood and immortality.

· He will promise to keep trying to find a way to keep you alive, so he can spend the next millennia with you.

· He would also rather live one lifetime with you than have gone a thousand without ever knowing you.

Erron Black;

· Man has he lived a long life. He’s been with some crazy women, most of them obsessed with blood too. But he feels its time to settle down, before he lives his last square dance.

· He can see him marrying you, having a happy family life with you. You get him and get his life, you’ve done nothing but go with the flow and never have complained about his erratic schedule.

· Kotal promised him rewards for serving him, he’s not asked for much, a roof over his head and some whisky. But now he’s calling in all the favours and cashing in all his fucking chips. Papa wants to get married and have an easier life. He’s getting too old for this shit.

· Asks for a superb ring, one that’s befitting of his Princess. If there’s none available, Kano owes him a favour. If not, he covered a fair amount of Kabal’s work, so he owes him big time. Either way, you’re getting a fucking nice ring, gods be damned.

· He doesn’t really plan anything too special, he’s not going to go OTT and scream his eternal love for you from the rooftops.

· He’ll wait till its just the two of you, drinking in the Dining hall, having a bit of a laugh and a giggle. Playing a bit of a drinking game, Never have I ever, you gotta drink if you’ve never.

· He’s in love with watching you drink for nearly everything, because you’re a lot more innocent than he is. Not that hard.

· He finally says, “Never have I ever thought about marryin someone in this room” you’ll actually pause and both drink at the same time. You’ll both laugh, you think he’s taking the piss, before actually pulls the ring out and drops to one knee.

· Will apologise for not actually doing this properly, asking your father wasn’t going to happen, because you’re your own person and hell naw, he doesn’t give a shit what another man thinks. It’s what you think.

· The ring is fucking beautiful.

Kotal Kahn; (I tried searching for more info on Osh Tekk culture but came up with nothing, so here we go, this is my interpretation of Outworld and Osh Tekk marriage proposals)

· Every good Emperor needs a good Empress to sit by their side. He sees that in you. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be with you.

· Your proposal would come very quickly. It feels wrong him being with you and not being married. It gives the impression you’re a consort and nothing more. He isn’t like that. You’re a kind person, strong, dedicated and loyal. You deserve the status of his queen and nothing less.

· He’s going to be traditional with his Osh Tekk culture and he will try and be traditional with yours. He’s not sure what Earthrealmers do, but Erron briefly briefed him on the logistics. He’s pretty sure nobody asks for their fathers’ hands anymore. Kotal is not doing that. You are your own person, he will prove he is worthy of your hand.

· There’s a big event at the Coliseum. Kotal is actually competing which is a massive surprise. You get to sit in the highest box, best seat, whatever wine you want. He’s actually on top of his fucking game. Making it look easy!

· He’ll turn to face you and go on about how every Emperor needs an Empress, one to keep him grounded, and one that cares about their people. He thinks the title befits you and would be honoured to take you for his wife.

· If you agree, he’ll ask if anyone wants to challenge him for your hand in marriage. If anyone thinks he’s not worthy or disagrees with the nuptials. Nobody would fucking dare to, not after that performance earlier.

· You’re his Queen and you’re treat like a Queen. You have always been his Empress and its time to make it Official.

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icequeenoriginal · 5 years

Text

Intimacy and All Its Forms

Note: I was planning on writing the next chapter for Tale as Old as Time, but I also wanted to write something for @sugarglider9603 and @ask-spiderverse-virgil / @galaxy-lilies-main Spiderverse AU so I picked the one-shot first. This is based on this post (And a couple others) along with “Turns out Being a Superhero IS Actually Really Gay!” by @hi-i-love-u-bitch

Also, there’s a section in Spanish, you’ll want to translate it. Enjoy!

Warnings: injuries, mentions of death, unconscious, self-deprecation, crying, a small bit of cursing, arguing

Pairings: Prinxiety and Logicality

Roman Marigold could handle a lot. He could handle his father’s passing. He could handle being a surrogate parent to his younger siblings. He could handle being the lead in any play. And he definitely could handle being a superhero.

So why was this one particular thing affecting him so much?

Roman knew that his boyfriend wasn’t the affectionate type. When they first started dating, you couldn’t tell by looking at them that they were dating. They would walk side by side but there would be a small gap between them. Slowly, it morphed into holding pinkies as they walked, linking their ankles together when they sat next to each other and just being in each other’s presence at every waking moment. Roman adored it. It was special, it was theirs and theirs alone.

Or so he thought.

The more he hung out with Virgil, the more he started…noticing things. Specifically, the way his boyfriend would interact with others. Well, two other people. Two other people who were not him.

The first time he noticed was at a movie night at Thomas’ place. Patton had decided to bless the apartment with his world-famous cookies and perfectly buttered popcorn. Logan, Virgil, and Roman waited impatiently for Thomas to return with soda. Four young superpowered boys can eat and what is a proper movie night without drinks?

Patton stuck his head into the living room with a smile “Who would like to volunteer to be my taste-tester for tonight?” Roman bolted to the kitchen so quickly that Logan rolled his eyes and Patton laugh.

Roman took a few bites of a cookie before declares “These are the best cookies that have ever been made!”

Patton giggled “Why thank you, Ro! I hope everyone else feels the same way.”

“Well, Virgil’s eating whether he likes it or not.” A grunt could be heard from the distance. “As for Logan, you can just dump him if he doesn’t like it.” Patton playfully punched Roman and the two best friends exited the kitchen.

It had been a great day for Roman. He aced a test he swore he was going to fail, he hit the high note at play rehearsal without destroying anything and Virgil bought him a hot chocolate. Now he was going to have a great evening with his friends and cuddling all night with his boyfriend.

As he took a step into the living room, he suddenly felt like someone just sucker-punched him in the gut. In front of him was his boyfriend sitting in another man’s lap. Not just any man, but Logan Quinn. They were in the middle of the couch and there was plenty of places Virgil could be sitting but no, he was in Logan’s lap.

Curiously, Roman made his way over and sat next to them. He turned his body so that he was facing them sideways. He smiled, ever the actor, and extended his arms. Both Virgil and Logan looked at him then at each other.

Virgil spoke first “What are you doing, Princey?”

Roman raised an eyebrow but his smile didn’t waver. “I’m motioning for you to come into my lap.” Both Logan and Virgil continued to stare at him “Oh as I supposed to ask first? Sorry. Virg? Care to cuddle with the most handsome man in this living room.”

Virgil chuckled “Thanks but I’m comfortable.”

Roman’s arms and smile dropped “Oh…”

Patton finished setting up the snacks and joined them on the couch. He leaned into Logan and Logan shifted over to him. Virgil scooted off of Logan and Roman’s smiled returned. He was sure now Virgil would cuddle with him now, especially since Logan and Patton were trying to see close their bodies could get without fusing together.

Virgil’s feet stopped an inch away from Roman’s leg. He had his knees bent. His head was still on Logan’s leg, causing Roman to let out a whine. Virgil didn’t notice, he had his headphones on.

Logan did “It’s nothing personal Roman, Virgil is just like a cat. He must choose you and that takes years.”

“Oh” was all Roman could say.

Why did he always had to get bad news in the living room?

Thomas suddenly burst through the door, arms filled with different soda. Roman immediately got up to help him, in an effort to distract himself. He even volunteers to get the cups even when Thomas insisted he didn’t have to.

When he returned, Virgil had moved again. His head was in Thomas’s lap with his feet on Logan and Patton, who was now fully in Logan’s lap.

With a sigh, Roman shifted his chair so that his back was to the couch. He picked up one of the abandoned pillows and cuddled with that. It a horrible substitute. It wasn’t soft like Virgil’s hoodie, it didn’t have his warmth and it definitely did not smell like him.

By the time the credits of the first movie began to roll, the horrible feeling in Roman’s chest became too much for him. He sheepishly got up and headed for the door

“Where are you going kiddo?” Patton called after him

“Home.”

Patton began to pout “Why? It’s movie night.”

Roman averted his gaze. He knew that if Patton got as little as a glimpse into his eyes, he would go full dad mode. Worse, now that Patton had the ability to know exactly what a person is thinking by touching them, the whole group would know what was on Roman’s mind. As much as Roman loved attention, he didn’t feel he deserved any for this reason. He would be mocked. Logan would probably call him being illogical and immature, Virgil would laugh and Patton wouldn’t understand. Neither would Thomas.

“I forgot I promised my mom I’d clean the house, plus I have a ton of homework.” That was enough to get Patton to go back to snuggling with Logan. Roman was right, none of them would have gotten it.

Roman stuffed his hand in his pockets as he walked through the cold night. He could see his breath but his drama club sweatshirt was enough for the young superhero. As he walked, he suddenly hated where Thomas’ apartment was located. Just a block from the spiderlings hangout was a street lined with nothing but restaurants.

Roman kept his head down as he passed the doting couples who were hugging, kissing, holding hands. All the things he wanted to do with Virgil.

His mind was so clouded that he nearly missed his spidey-sense telling him that he was about to bump into a man walking towards him. Roman jumped back and began to rattle of an apology when he locked eyes with someone else.

In the man’s arms was a young boy. He had big black eyes that stared at Roman curiously, to Roman he looked about 10 years old. He had tan skin like Roman and he clutched onto the man’s shirt. The man held the boy protectively and practically knocked Roman over when he walked past.

Roman turned and stared at them. He watched the way the boy leaned his head against the man’s and now the man kissed his head. Once they were out of view, Roman bolted to his home.

~ Patton hadn’t realized his leg was shaking until Logan put his hand on it. He looked up and saw that Logan’s eyes were filled with love and concern that for a moment, he forgot about everything but Logan. “Is everything alright dear?” Logan’s voice snapped Patton out of his daydream.

“Huh? Oh no, just…” Patton knitted his eyebrows together, his brain was still rebooting from the staring contest with Logan.

Logan leaned closer to him and whispered “Just what love? Tell me”

Patton smiled and leaned into Logan to hide his blush “I’m just worried about Roman”

Logan gently rubbed Patton’s arm “I’m sure he made it home alright and he knows better than to not text you when he gets there.” Right on cue, Patton’s phone vibrated. “See? Nothing to worry about.”

Patton bit his lip as he read the text. All it said was Made it home, see ya tomorrow. “That’s not what I meant Lo, I think something might be bothering him.”

Logan pushed his glasses up “Well if there was something amiss in his life, he would tell us. His track record shows a pattern of him being the complaining type.”

Patton chuckled and gently nudged Logan “Whatever you say Lo-Lo.”

Roman never realized how quiet his house was. His younger brother and sister, Jenni and Marco, were fast asleep in their rooms, not going to run up to Roman and tackle him with hugs. His mother and older sister Leslie were fast asleep but on the couch. Their textbooks and papers were scattered all over the floor, he made a note to clean it up in the morning. Roman carried them effortlessly to their rooms, no one stirred to acknowledge him. He made sure all four of them were tucked in before flopping onto his head, no one would come to tuck him in.

Roman lied before.

He craved more than what Virgil gave him. He wanted to put his arm around Virgil’s waist as they walked. He wanted to Virgil to sit in his lap and his alone. He wanted to carry Virgil.

He wanted it. No, he needed it. Because no one was going tuck him in anymore. Because no one was going to carry him on their shoulder. No one was going to sing “A La Nanita Nana” to him and his siblings anymore when they begged for it. No one was going to tell him stories about the buildings they helped build.

Not after that day.

Roman didn’t realize he had fallen asleep until his alarm was waking him up. He groaned as he rolled over and wince as his jointed cracked when he moved. He sat up and stared at himself in the mirror, flinching at his reflection. His hair was a mess, he had bags under his eyes and he probably should have showered before he went to bed.

Using his super speed, he was able to get into the bathroom just before Leslie. He used the sound of the water rushing over him to drown out her yelling outside the door. The water felt nice against his skin and for a moment, he was at peace.

Once he stepped out, the cold wind of reality hit him, literally and figuratively. He vaguely wonders if that’s a sign for something.

He walks to his room and opened his dresser. For the first time in his life, he didn’t know what to wear. He pondered wearing just a hoodie and sweatpants. That way no one would bother him, only looks of pity.

It must be that time of year again. Poor guy. He was so young when it happened too.

"Date prisa o vas a llegar tarde a la escuela". Roman’s mother stood with her hands on her hips in Roman’s doorway.

“Si, si.” Roman waved her off, hoping she would go and worry about his other siblings, like always.

Roman’s mother frowned “¿Que pasa, mi bebé?”

Roman shook his head. “Nada Mamá.” He paused, an idea coming to mind. He turned to his mother. Mamá, ¿cómo era papá cuando estabas saliendo?”

Roman’s mother walked over to him and rested her hands on his shoulders, a large frown present. “¿Estás pensando en tu padre otra vez?” Roman could tell she was worried about him. Roman should be grateful for that. He became the rock of the family after the accident, he didn’t seem to need comfort or care.

Roman needed to be a performer.

“No mamá, solo quiero impresionar a Virgil.” It wasn’t a total lie. He wanted to find a way for Virgil to be willing to snuggle with him.

Roman’s mother smiled and her eyes began to glow with nostalgia. “Me besó, retenida mi mano y juega con mi pelo.” The woman began to blush as the memories flooded her mind. Roman smiled at how after all these years, his mother was still in love with his father.

His mother took his hand “Pasión, esa es la clave del corazón de alguien. Debes mostrar cuánto lo amas. Eso no debería ser problema para ti, hijo mío.”

Roman smiled and kissed her cheek. “Gracias mamá”

Playfully, she slapped his shoulder “Ahora vístete, vas a llegar tarde.” She walked out of the room with a smile, which let Roman smile.

“Protégelos, hijo. Tú eres el hombre de la casa cuando yo no estoy allí.”

Roman walked over to his closet and smiled. He had to look his best today.

Virgil yawned as Logan open his locker. He completely forgot about the homework he needed to do for Monday and had to pull an all-nighter. It wasn’t his fault, he was having a really good time at the movie night. And wasn’t mental health a good enough excuse? Logan rolled his eyes as he watched Virgil down a third cup of coffee. “I told you to start your homework on Friday so you would have plenty of time before movie night.”

Virgil waved him away “Hush, Pocket Protector. I’m still waking up…”

Logan was about to make another snarky remark when an arm snaked its way around Virgil’s waist. Before he had any time to process it or suppress the yelp forming, a pair of lips gently pressed a kiss onto a rather sensitive part of his neck

The culprit whispered “Hola Mi Amor.” into Virgil’s ear, making his shutter.

Virgil slowly turned to see his boyfriend with his gorgeous locks brushed out his face, wearing a freshly pressed red button up red shirt, which was open to reveal a plain white shirt, and clean black slakes. He was wearing a bit of eyeliner that somehow made his gorgeous eyes look bigger.

Virgil was definitely awake now.

Patton giggled as he made his way from behind Roman to Logan’s side. He hugged him. Logan tore his eyes away from the couple who were breaking all forms of the rules about PDA in the school to give Patton a quick kiss on the head so they themselves would not get into trouble.

Roman pulled Virgil closer. “How are you today mi corazón?” Roman gently kissed his cheek “You look tired, still beautiful though.” Roman gently nipped the sensitive spot, making Virgil shove him away. Roman whined but kept the distance between them.

Virgil flipped his hoodie over his head and pulled the string as tightly as he could. He was not equipped to handle this. Roman strolls in front of him and squats down. “Aww, can Virgie come out and play.” Virgil is tempted to smack the smirk off Roman’s handsome face.

Virgil let out a sigh of relief once the bell rang. He pulled down his hood and intended to power walk to class. He froze when warm and slender finger wrapped around his own. He looked up to Roman smiled at him and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “May I walk you to class, Querido?”

Virgil felt his throat close up, this was way too much for him. But Roman’s hand felt so nice in his…Wordlessly, he nodded. They walked together anyway.

Roman smiled and kissed Virgil’s hand, turning the poor boy’s face scarlet. “Let us head off then, Stormcloud.” He turned to Patton and Logan “I bid you good day.”

Patton giggled and waved “Have fun you two.”

Logan nodded “Goodbye.” Roman turned to walk to his and Virgil’s shared class when he was stopped by: “And good luck to you Roman.”

Horrified, he turned to Logan. Did he know what Roman was up to? Did he know about what was bothering Roman? Was he going to make fun of him?

Roman gulped before turning to Logan “G-Good luck? For what?”

Logan pushed up his glasses before speaking.“Your audition.”

“Audition? I don’t have an audition today.”

Logan frowned “Oh? I apologize. Virgil informed me that when you have an audition, you tend to wear fancier clothes. Or as he put it ‘Get stupidly hotter.’”

Virgil glared daggers at Logan. He was apparently going to kill two people today.

Roman let go of the breath he was holding onto and chuckled “Ah, I see. No, nothing like that. I just want to dress up today for me.”

Virgil was about to scream. What did he do to deserve this?!

Roman gave Virgil a gentle tug before walking off to their next class. Roman leaned close to Virgil as he walks and faintly hummed. Virgil felt like he was going to pass out.

Today was going to be a long day.

~ The entire day was too much for Virgil. In every class they had together, Roman would link their ankles together. He would walk Virgil to every class, hand in hand, even when Roman’s class was nowhere near his! What was going on?!

At lunch, Roman sat with his arm around Virgil and his hand on Virgil’s hip. Virgil refused to eat because he felt he was going throw up. Unfortunately, Roman took that as an opportunity to try and feed Virgil. If he wasn’t so shocked, Virgil would have stabbed him.

The worst was the stares. People swooning over how cute and romantic they were, people taking notes so they could “properly” romance their partners. And then there were the glares of jealousy or disgust. The only comment they heard was from Dolion but Virgil knew better. He could hear the whispers, the curse words, even if Roman couldn’t seem to.

Everyone has a breaking point.

As the group was waiting for Patton to come out of his last class, Roman draped himself over Virgil’s back and kissed him repeatedly. Virgil when saw Dolion laughing out of the corner of his eyes, he had enough.

Patton turned the corner when Virgil roughly shoved Roman off of him. Roman froze and his stomach dropped when he saw how angry Virgil was.

“Mi Amor?” “Stop it! Stop it right now!”

“S-Stop…?” Virgil made his way over to Patton and Logan, hugging himself. His back was to Roman, making the poor boy looked down in shame.

Virgil gently put his head on Logan’s shoulder as he began to shake. Logan glared as Roman as he rubbed circles into Virgil’s back. “Virgil does not like to be touched, as his boyfriend you should know that.”

Roman’s head snapped up and he grits his teeth. “I know that Logan, I was trying to help him get more comfortable with me.”

Logan rolled his eyes “Oh well wonderful job doing that.”

Roman clenched his fists “Well some of us don’t have years of friendship to back us up!” Roman slap his hand over his mouth as everyone, including Virgil, turned to look at him.

Virgil raised an eyebrow “Wait a second, are you jealous Princey?”

Roman did his signature offended prince noise. “What? NO! I don’t get jealous.” All three of his closest friends gave him the exact same look “I’m not jealous, I just…noticed that you seem to give Logan a lot more affection than you give me…”

Virgil felt his lip tug into a smirk. “So you were jealous.”

Roman sighed “I have to go to play practice…” Roman walked off.

“Kiddo wait!” Patton called after him desperately. They always walked to their individual clubs together. Roman ignored Patton’s pleas, making the smaller boy lean into his boyfriend and plays his bracelet.

“He didn’t turn around…”

Logan rubbed Patton’s arm as sympathetically as he could. He could care less about Roman but he couldn’t stand the thought of Patton being upset.

“Do not fret Patton, Roman will get over this illogical behavior by tomorrow.”

Virgil crossed his arms and pouted “I’m not letting him get away with this so easily, I’m going to be so distracted at dance class thinking about his stupid face.” Virgil felt his face getting hot, thoughts of Roman’s lips brushing against his neck rushed through his mind.

Logan, in an attempt to help Virgil back to reality, offered “If you would like, I can help you with your plans of punishment.”

Patton smacked Logan’s arm “You will not.” Patton turned and point accusingly at Virgil “And you will not either! He clearly feels bad, he doesn’t need to feel worse.” Patton wagged his finger at them, making the bracelets on his wrist shake.

Both Virgil and Logan nodded and spoke in unison “Yes Patton.”

Patton’s expression softens into a smile. “Great, now excuse me while I go to the culinary club, we’re making cupcakes today!” Logan watched his boyfriend run off with a smile before turning to Virgil and exchange their favorite look.

We are totally going to mess with Roman tomorrow.

Roman sat in his dressing room with his head in his hands. He lucked out that today was a dress rehearsal so he could pretend he was taking forever getting dressed. He truly felt ashamed of his actions.

Remy walked in and placed a coffee cup in front of the young hero. “You looked like you need this girl.”

Roman looked up at it and drank in wordlessly. Remy watched him in horror, silently praying to the coffee gods to forgive Roman’s cardinal sin.

Roman stood up as he slammed the now emptied up onto the table, almost crushing the cup completely. He took a second to control his breathing and powers before turning to Remy. “Thanks, Rem, I needed that.”

Remy tilted his glasses down “What’s gotten into you?” Roman shook his head “Nothing…just a fight with Virgil.”

Remy chuckled “What? You bite him too hard while you guys were practicing fucking in the hallway.”

Roman chucked the empty cup at Remy who dodged it with such ease that Roman vaguely wondered if Remy had superpowers.

“Hey! Don’t get mad at me just because you can’t handle the truth.” Roman flopped back into the chair and groaned. “I was just trying to be more affectionate. Sue me!”

Remy rolled his eyes “Girl, seriously? This is the man I lost the lead role to? Tsk.”

Roman turned to him, scowling “Just help me.”

Remy smiled “You know I will.” Remy sat dramatically on the table in front of Roman “Get ready because I’m about to spill the true tea.”

“Remy, I swear, I will throw something else at you.”

“Okay, okay, okay, calm down. Look, if he’s mad at you, just buy him a coffee tomorrow and apologize.”

Roman rolls his eyes “I should have known you would have said something coffee-related.”

“Well duh, if he rejects it, you can just give it to me.”

Roman stood up and said sarcastically “Thank you so much Rem, I wonder why I never came to you for advice before.”

Remy smirked, “It’s because you and the rest of the world cannot handle how great I am.”

“We have to get to practice…”

~ Roman wanted to smack himself. He decided to take Remy’s advice which involved waking up earlier, attempting to make coffee while sleep-deprived and almost waking everyone up when he was looking for the coffee canteen the school gave out on the first day.

He would admit that he was proud that he got all that and got his younger siblings ready for school. His next challenge was in the form of a peppy but curious neighbor. Roman put on his best fake smile and walked up to Patton. He moved slowly to come up small talk in the event Patton asked him about Virgil’s outburst yesterday. He was not ready to talk about it.

Roman noticed Patton was wearing the unicorn hair clips that Logan have bought him for his birthday. Score, if I get Patton talking about Logan, he won’t even think about me. Roman felt a small tug at his heart at that thought but he didn’t stress on it.

Once he heard footsteps, Patton whirled around to see Roman, almost knocking the taller man back. He didn’t even give Roman chance to say hello “Are you okay?” “Huh? Of course, I am Pat!” Roman struck one of his signature poses for added effect. The fatherly friend crossed his arms and tapped his foot. “You know how I feel about liars Roman.”

Roman soften his smile “I know Padre, and I’m being honest.”

Patton scanned Roman’s face before responding “I was just making sure after yesterday with what happened with Virgil.”

Roman shook his head “Don’t worry about that, it ‘twas just a lovers spat.” Roman cringed internally when he realized he said ‘twas.

Patton giggled at Roman’s statement “Okay then Ro, don’t be afraid to talk to me when you’re upset.” “I know Pat.” And he meant it, but Roman still wasn’t sure if he should act upon it. He decided to go with his original plan. “Nice hair clips, Pat.”

Patton blushed slightly “Thanks. Lolo bought them for me. He’s so sweet. He said he saw them and knew he had to buy them for me.” Patton held his hands together, against his cheek, as he gushed over Logan. They started on their path to the school and Roman sighed of relief. He could do this.

They were halfway to school when Patton noticed the coffee canteen. “Since when do you drink coffee?”

Panic rushed throughout Roman. He took a deep breath to steady himself before putting on his confident persona “Never, this is for Virgil. To make up for yesterday.”

Patton smiled “Oh kiddo…”

Roman chuckled “Yeah, I know what you’re going to say. It is a pretty great--”

“The best you could come up with is coffee?”

Roman took step back, placing a hand on his chest in distress. “Who are you and what have you done with Patton?!”

Patton tilted his head “It’s me, Ro.” Just to be sure, Patton touched his own face.

Roman took a step forward “Oh really? Then if you’re Patton, explain why you shut down my idea so badly.”

Patton shook his head while smiling “If you want to make it up to him, giving him a reminder that he can’t sleep might not be the best idea.” Roman pondered this advice. “What would you suggested?”

Patton’s eyes glistened with creativity “A homemade blanket that he can snuggle with. Or! Or! Or! You could take him to a concert for a band he likes.”

Roman couldn't help but grin “Excellent idea Patton, you have me convinced.” Patton beamed with pride. “Now all you have to do is convince my wallet.” Patton began to pout, more playful than truly upset. Patton passed the time by biting the inside of his cheek, he needed to think of a counterargument.

Roman pat his shoulder sympathetically “I think I’ll stick with the coffee Pat.”

Patton gave him a thumbs up and they headed to the corner where they usually meet Logan and Virgil. Roman fiddled with the hem of his sleeve, a nervous wave rushing over his body. It slightly terrified him, he was unsure why he was afraid.

Virgil seemed to always bring out new emotions in Roman. It was terrifying as it was exciting. He wasn’t just Roman Marigold the actor or Roman Marigold the gayest of gays. Or Roman Marigold…dadless. He was just Roman.

Virgil brought joy to Roman, but he could also bring him pain. Something they both would realize too late.

Patton could tell that something was eating at Roman. His shoulders were slumped, his face was decorated with a frown and his forehead had creases. All things that were very un-Roman-like, Patton found it unsettling. So when a purple beanie came into view, Patton felt a sudden a wave of relief.

Perhaps, too sudden.

Virgil and Logan walked up to the preppier friends, hand in hand. They were both talking happily, Virgil had a big fat smile on his face. Roman felt the mental of the coffee canteen bend inward as he squeezed it. He hides it behind his back, attempting to make it ground him somehow.

Patton didn’t seem to be as affected as Roman for he hugged the two newcomers, making Roman cursed himself. Why do you have to be overly-sensitive?! It’s not bothering Patton, so why is it bothering you?! What is wrong with you?! Roman’s mind was so loud, he couldn’t even hear what the conversation that was making Virgil smile so much.

Roman forced himself to focus as they walked towards the entrance of the high school, noting that Virgil did not let go of Logan’s hand. He closed his eyes, to block out the world, and said “Virgil, I have something to tell you. Well, first…”

As Roman moved to present the coffee cup to Virgil, Logan moved for his backpack. Using his super speed, he placed a purple coffee canteen into Virgil’s hand. The canteen in broke under Roman’s strength. The coffee burned in his hand but Roman honestly couldn’t care less.

Virgil leaned against Logan’s side as he drank his coffee “What is it Princey?”

Roman looked down “I wanted to say I’m sorry for yesterday. I really am.”

Virgil’s eyes flickered to Roman and study his body language. On their way over, Logan and Virgil planned on holding hands or linking arms when they saw Roman the entire day. It was to show him how ridiculous he was being. That didn’t mean he wanted to hurt him. See that Roman was seemingly embarrassed made Virgil smirk “It’s alright sir Sing-A-Lot.”

Roman walked backward and threw the destroyed canteen. He wore a fake smile, not that anyone was looking at him. He stared at the canteen in Virgil’s hand. It was his favorite color, and it even had his name on it. It was personal, probably even a gift. How could he not have thought of that? He was supposed to be Virgil’s boyfriend. He was supposed to make Virgil comfortable. He was supposed to make Virgil happy. He was supposed to be good enough.

But he wasn’t.

The warning bell unintentionally snapped Roman back to reality. Logan wrapped his fingers around Patton’s and for a moment, Roman prayed it was over. His dreams were dashed when Virgil wrapped his arm around…Logan’s waist?! He had never once done that to Roman. The sight was his downfall.

As the trio walked forward, Roman stood in place, eyes looked onto the ground. Patton looked back at him and Roman turned to face the other direction. Patton tilted his head concerned “Aren’t you coming with us, Ro?”

“Nah, I think I’ll just take my old shortcut. Big test” Roman ran off, his tail between his legs. Or that’s what Virgil perceived it as, ever so slightly missing the tears forming in the corners of his boyfriend’s eyes.

Virgil laughed hysterically as his arm dropped to his side. “Oh, that was amazing. Did you see the look on his face?”

Logan smirked, “I did, it was quite enjoyable.”

If the hallway was not flooded with high schoolers, they might have heard the tapping on Patton’s sneaker against the tile floor. The young pastel boy was fuming and going unnoticed.

Virgil wiped the tear in his eyes away. “Oh, I so needed that. See ya guys later.” Virgil waved as he walked into his class. Logan was laughing to himself until Patton roughly pulled him into an empty classroom.

Logan felt a small blush form as Patton stared at him menacingly “Pat…?”

“You promised you were going to leave Roman alone! “ Patton aggressively poked Logan in the chest as he spoke. Logan looked away as Patton gasped in horror “I even gave you a brownie!”

Logan pulled on his collar, sweat was forming on his forehead. Logan had only seen Patton get this mad at bad people, never him. The look that was embedded on Patton’s face was not for the faint of heart. Logan used one of Virgil’s breathing exercises to regain his composer before responding “I apologize, Patton, I did not intend to upset you with my actions.”

Patton huffed “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to! Poor Roman must be so sad right now! And in his favorite class too!”

Logan shook his head “Falsehood, we did not intend any malicious towards him. Virgil wanted to figuratively ‘teach him a lesson’, to quote his statement from last night.”

Patton scowl seemed to get worse “Oh and how are you two playing on ‘teaching him a lesson’ exactly?!”

Logan had no idea air quotes could be threatening. “We were only going to hold one another and speak mostly in inside jokes.”

Patton huffed “Well what a wonderful time of year for you two decide on this! Or did you plan to kick him while he’s down?!” It only took Logan a moment for the realization to hit him like a truth. “Oh…well…if it does make you angry at me…” Patton sent a sharp glare at Logan. “And if it truly upsets Roman…I will stop and work to regain your trust and faith in me.”

Patton placed his hand over his light pink pants. “Do you mean it this time?” Logan nodded “ I swear on my life.”

Patton’s angry demeanor dropped and squealed happily as he threw his arms around Logan’s neck. “Yay! Thank you so much Lo-Lo!”

Logan finally was able to relax and gently kissed Patton’s head “You’re welcome dear, now we must hurry if we are to make it to our next class.”

Patton looked at the time and gasped “We’ll never make it in time.”

Logan smirked and gently lifted Patton bridal style. “Don’t worry love, I’ll get us there.”

Patton’s face turned dark red. “T-Thanks hon.”

Using his superspeed, Logan easily got them to their class. They were even able to steal a quick kiss.

~ Roman’s day was a blur. His insecurities kept picking on him the entire day. Strangely, at least to him, none of his teachers seemed to bother him about him about it. Virgil spoke to him kindly in their shared class but it was the small talk they both despised. Guess it’s my lucky day today, he thought bitterly.

Once the fourth period of the day rolled around, he felt his face get hot from anger and he became blinded by tears. He raced to the bathroom, surpassing his top speed so no one could see him like this. He grips the sink, his head weighting itself down so he won’t look in the mirror. If he saw his red puffy eyes or the snot running out of his nose, he would feel even more worthless.

A tissue appears in his field of vision and Roman looked up to see Emile Picani’s toothy grin. Roman jump a few feet panicked that he was caught in this state.

Emile expression was not one of pity, but empathy. He extended the arm holding the tissue out to him like Hiccup held out his hand Toothless.

Roman tentatively took the tissue and rubbed his face clean.

Emile places a hand on Roman’s back “Let it out Roman, you don’t have to talk to me about it but do not keep it and let your feelings hold you back. Losing someone like you—“

Roman’s head shot up with a smile “Thank you very much for this tissue friendo, I am much better now. You always have the best advice, you should become a therapist one day.” Roman spoke as fast as he walked out of the bathroom. Emile shook his head before heading to his next class.

Roman accidentally back into the Sewing Club room where his eyes caught a discarded teddy bear. It was torn, missing an eye and looked like it had never been washed in its whole existence.

It was perfect.

Tossing it into the sink, he began to collect supplies for this masterpiece.

Virgil was having a good day so far. Not his best but nowhere near his worse. The good was he got a B+ on a test he didn’t study for and he wasn’t put on the spot by any teacher today, but the not so good was that he didn’t see Roman much throughout the day. He was grateful Roman wasn’t on top of him but he barely saw him in the early day and Roman was pretty quiet in the class they shared together. Roman responded when Virgil spoke to him but it was mainly one-word sentences.

Had he made Roman actually mad at him? He hoped not, it was just supposed to be a harmless joke. Oh god, did Roman hate him? Was Roman going to dump him?

Deep breathes Virgil. You’re overthinking. You can talk to him right now while you guys eat lunch and everything will be fine.

That thought put a smile on Virgil’s face, only for it to immediately drop when he saw a terrified Logan and the scariest version of Patton he had ever seen.

Patton was scowling, tapping his foot, and had his arms crossed. Three things Virgil would never expect Patton to be able to do.

Virgil gulped and made his way over “Am I in trouble?”

Patton’s foot tapping ceased, making the silence of the empty classroom they walked into deafening “I would say so.”

Virgil wanted to ask why, to make a sarcastic comment, to do anything but the dark aura that Patton was giving off made it impossible to even remember to breathe.

Logan knew that if Virgil didn’t say anything, Patton was just going to get angrier. So he cleared his throat and said: “Patton has informed me that our display this morning was a bit repugnant.”

“More than a bit I would say!”

Logan smiled softly. He couldn’t help it, Patton understanding the big words he used was his kink. Patton caught Logan’s eye and smiled back. All the anger left Patton as he found himself getting lost in Logan’s eyes

Virgil knew he was going to regret it but he cleared his throat. As he suspected, Patton snapped his head back and the nightmare fuel glare returned.

Virgil managed the stutter out “W-We didn’t m-mean any h-harm P-Pat.”

Patton sighed and spoke honestly “I know you didn’t kiddo but this week…it’s not the week to pick on Roman.”

Virgil tilted his head “This week?” Logan pulled off his glasses “February 17, 2011, a freak construction accident occurred at 11:54 am. Not much more information was released except that it was on 51th Street and 10th Avenue so the roads leading there were closed, causing huge amounts of traffic, and it killed three workers and injured 13 people. One of the people killed--”

Virgil went pale “--was Roman’s dad.” Virgil walked to the far wall, saying nothing. Once there was no more room between him and the wall, he began to bang his head against it. He only managed to do it completely once before both Logan and Patton pulled his away.

“What has gotten into you kiddo?!” The fear dripped with every word

Virgil sighed “I’m punishing myself for what I did.”

Logan shook his head “This is a highly irrational response.”

Virgil shook his head rapidly “No, this is an accurate response. I completely forgot about the literal worst day of my boyfriend's life and added insult to injury by getting back at him for something he was probably doing because of what happened and now I’m a jackass who is speaking in a loop.”

Patton began to shake him desperately “Come on kiddo, snap out of it.”

Virgil grabbed Patton’s hands with this own “Pat, cut it out. You’re giving me a headache.”

Patton pulled his hands back and held them by his face “Sorry kiddo!”

Virgil sighed “It’s alright” stopping to bury his face in his hands “What am I going to do…?”

Patton became stern again “You’re going to apologize to him the second he comes here.”

Virgil nodded “You’re right.”

Patton smiled “Great, now we can go back being all happy and friends.”

Logan cleared his throat “Just one last thing to make sure no figurative stone goes unturned.” Logan turned to Patton and grabbed his hands. “I want to make sure that our display this morning did not upset you either, please be as honest as possible.”

Patton smiled and gave Logan a little shrug “I was more worried about Roman than to be jealous.” He squeezed Logan “But if we’re being completely honest, I was a tiny bit jealous.”

Logan smiled “Well I apologized and I shall make it up to you.” Logan placed his hand behind Patton’s head and pulled him into a long passionate kiss. A kiss so passionate that a small moan escaped out of Patton.

Virgil nearly burst out laughing as he could tell they forgot he was still in the room. “Wow, you’re a really good kisser, Lo.”

Logan responded by swatting the air behind him and kissing Patton more which in turn produced another moan from the shorter man.

Suddenly, the three froze, their spidey sense blaring in their ears. There was no screams or alerts that followed, but they still all mechanically pulled out their masks out.

Virgil looked between Logan and Patton “Do you think Roman’s…?” He didn’t want to finish his sentence. He knew how reckless Roman could be, especially if Roman thought he could handle something on his own

Logan ran to the window and opened it “Only one way to find out.” Logan pressed his bracelet to make his suit appear over his entire body and he jumped out the window.

As Virgil struggled to put on his struggled to put on part of his suit, he said to Patton “Remind me to yell at him to make the rest of us one of those.”

Roman smiled at the teddy bear in his hand. He not only was able to get the teddy bear completely clean but he made it an outfit. It was a simple red shirt and purple pants but he didn’t have enough time to finish it and make it to lunch on time.

Turning the teddy bear over in his hand, he practiced what he would say as he walked down the hallways. Hey sweetie, I made you something. Why? No special reason, I just think you deserve a gift every once in a while.

He looked around the corner were Patton’s locker is, surprised to see that no one was there. Roman leaned against the locker, thinking nothing of it.

Then his spidey sense went off.

Roman immediately got into a defensive position, wondering what danger was nearby.

Then he heard it. A small moan from behind the door he was standing next to. Roman had to shove the teddy bear in his mouth to stop his laughter. All moans, except the ones that left the lips of his lovely Stormcloud, sounded the same to him an invoked laughter. It was all his older sister’s fault. A young Roman and his father caught her with a boy in her room and watching the guy running away from his enrage father is not a memory that can simply be forgotten. He felt bad for the poor souls that were about to get busted by him

“Wow, you’re a really great kisser, Lo.”

Roman’s world shattered right before his eyes.

He took a step towards the classroom when he heard the second moan. That’s when he started crying. Suddenly one of Thomas’ first lessons entered his mind: When your Spidey-sense goes off, get out there as soon as possible.

So he did.

He ran to the theater, the only safe place he knew. He knew it would be empty too, as he has to go there more than once on a bad day.

He panted even though he wasn’t out of breath. He walked to the center of the stage and put down the teddy bear he didn’t even realize he was still holding. The teddy bear seemed to weight a ton as Roman himself was pulled down by it.

He had a staring contest with the teddy bear, as much as he could with the tears blocking his eyes. The teddy bear turned into Virgil who watch him with utter indifference.

It angered Roman “Why him?! I’m your boyfriend! I’m the one who loves you! I would give up everything for you, I would do anything for you! So why him?! What does he have that I don’t have! I don’t get it! WHY HIM?! WHAT MAKES HIM SO SPECIAL! WHY WASN’T IT ME?!”

The Virgil in front of him didn’t respond, as it was a figment of Roman’s imagination.

That didn’t stop Roman “Why him?!...why...I’m going to scream…I’m going to scream!…I’m going to…AHHHHHHH!” The room shook, his sonic scream knocking over the set pieces of the next musical.

“Fuck.” Roman went to use his webbing to pick them up but his spidey sense told him to turn around. When he looked over his shoulder, he saw Mr. Bell was casually sitting in the auditorium chair reading over the script of the musical. He looked up as Roman turned around fully.

Roman spoke first “M-Mr. Bell…I’m sorry, I know I’m supposed to be at lunch…”

Mr. Bell smiled softly “Roman, the stage is your home, you know you’re always welcome to be on it whenever you need. And this seems to have improved your vocal range. But next time, don’t knock over my set.”

Roman began to blush from embarrassment “S-Sorry.” Roman ran and picked up the set piece, placing upright and in their correct spots.

“If that was your audition for the Spring Play, you got the lead role already.”

Roman chuckled weakly “Uh thanks but that was no audition…I just needed to..”

“Scream?”

“...get something off my chest.”

Mr. Bell frowned “How are you, Roman?”

Roman rubbed the back of his head with one hand and stuck the other in his pocket “Fine.”

Mr. Bell “Are you sure? I know the loss of a parent can be too much.”

There it was, the one statement he was attempting to avoid all day. The fact that it was close to the anniversary of his father’s death. Nothing else.

“I’m fine, I swear. It was years ago…”

“Yes, but the pain never leaves us, so you don’t have to pretend you’re okay when you’re not.”

Roman wiped his tears away “I guess I’m not as great of an actor as I thought I was…”

Mr. Bell shook his head “A good actor does not become a good by hiding their emotions, but by accepting them. It makes your acting more raw and genuine.”

Roman nodded absently, hoping that the conversation was over.

“So, do you want to talk about it?” Roman shook his head “Thanks but no thanks.”

“Hm, alright but I can’t just let one of my best actors go while they are still upset. Let’s make a deal you sing how you’re feeling, just one song and then you can go.”

One of the things Roman liked about Mr. Bell was how fair the man was. Roman got a good role in his first play as a Freshman due to Mr. Bell looking at entirely at the actors’ and actresses’ skills. Roman owned the man this at least. He sat down as he tried to think of a song that would fully capture what was bother him. There was plenty of songs to choose from that were about fathers. Disney had a bunch alone.

But that wasn’t what came out.

“‘Cause every time I see you, it’s like all I am is see through. We were everything I know it, don’t want to miss it, record it. I adore you, I adore you, I adore you, I adore you…”

Because this problem had nothing to do with his father, it never did.

Roman didn’t continue singing. He felt embarrassed to be this vulnerable. He was supposed to be this rock, this strong man and yet he did not feel good enough to be with Virgil. He felt like he was too much for Virgil, that he was making Virgil want to stay away from him. He knew Logan didn’t think Roman was good enough for his best friends. Today just solidified it. Virgil didn’t think Roman was good enough, he probably waiting until he can get Roman alone to break up with him.

“I never heard that song before, what show is that from?”

Roman almost forgot Mr. Bell was still there. His face got hot from embarrassment “O-Oh it’s a…song by a drag queen…”

Mr. Bell smiled “Ah drag, a beautiful art form. Those lyrics were very alluring. Now, who is the one you adore?”

Roman look toward the auditorium door, he didn’t want to make eye contact. “My boyfriend…”

“Is this a relationship issue then?”

Roman nodded without really meaning to, he figured if he told anyone, it would be a teacher who didn’t know who Virgil was. “Yeah…I just don’t feel good enough for him…” Still, he didn’t have to tell any one person everything.

“A very common insecurity in relationships. The one thing you can do is understand that you are good enough. I’m sure your boyfriend will gladly tell you that.”

Roman turned to look at him and smiled “Thanks Mr. B”

He was too good at faking a smile.

Roman scooped up the teddy bear and walked past Mr. Bell and out the door. He was now dreading play practice.

Looking down at the bear, Roman figured he could just put it in Virgil’s locker, that way he could avoid talking about the kiss.

“ROMAN!” Nevermind.

He turned to see Virgil, Logan, and Patton running towards him. They all stopped in front of him to pant and wipe the sweat away.

“You’re okay!” exclaimed Patton.

That caught Roman’s attention. “Of course I’m okay, why wouldn’t I be?” There were several reasons why but he wasn’t to know what they had to say.

Virgil answered “We were waiting for you to go to lunch and our spidey-senses went off. We didn’t see you so we thought something bad had happened to you.”

Roman blinked, his face unreadable “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Virgil tilted his head “Interrupt? What?”

“It’s not important, let’s just get to our next classes.” Roman turned around and walked off. Virgil looked down at the ground, sad that Roman was mad at him.

Patton decided to take matters into his own hands. Literally.

He grabbed Roman’s hand and gasps “He’s heartbroken, he’s confused and hurt. He thinks…you cheated on him?”

Virgil’s jaw fell to the ground “WHAT?! I DID NOT!” Roman narrowed his eyes “I heard you earlier: ‘Oh Logan!’ You’re such a great kisser!”

This time all three of them stared at Roman shocked. It shocked Patton so much that he dropped Roman’s hand.

Virgil shook his head profusely “No! NO! NO! That was extremely out of context.”

Logan chimed in “Virgil is correct. He was mocking Patton and me.”

Patton’s cheek turns a bit pink “I may or may not have moaned.”

Roman begins to shake “Oh god, I’m so sorry…V, I’m so sorry. H-Here.” He puts the teddy bear in Virgil’s hands “This is for you, it was to apologize for my behavior yesterday but…oh god, I’m really sorry…”

Good job Roman, now you’ve made him hate you more, I hope you like being single.

Virgil looked down at the teddy bear, rubbing his thumb over the shirt. He threw his arms around Roman’s neck and hugged him. “God, you’re an idiot. But I love you so I’ll forgive you.” Virgil was mostly joking to lighten the mood. He even kissed Roman’s cheek to show how much he wanted Roman to smile.

See? You’re not good enough, he’s with you out of pity.

Roman hugged back, deciding he wanted to be selfish and soak up this moment.

Virgil continued “I’m sorry for this morning.”

Don’t be, you do deserve better than me.

“I forgive you V.”

I’ll prove I can be good enough for you.

Patton clapped his hands in joy “Yay! A happy ending!”

“But of course Padre!” Roman let go of Virgil when he felt his boyfriend make the slightest movement, he didn’t want to frustrate Virgil more.

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. The quartet sighed, none of them ate. Logan and Patton held hands as they walked to class, Roman walked behind Virgil.

Roman was really too good at faking a smile.

Virgil expected Roman to ignore him for the rest of the week. He knew what losing someone that close to you was like and space was what he needed.

But then it turned from days to weeks.

Roman suddenly stopped being around everyone, including Virgil. He didn’t walk with Patton to school, he didn’t talk to Logan in class, he didn’t sit at lunch with them if he was even at lunch.

Roman has a mission, he was going to become good enough to be Virgil’s boyfriend. His first step was to stay away, he knew Virgil needed space.

Thomas tried talking to Roman, but he didn’t get any farther than Roman missed his father. After that, Roman stopped coming to training practices.

Roman’s next step was to become stronger. If he could show Virgil that he could get rid of his worries and problems easily, Virgil would want to come to him when he was afraid.

In class, Roman only spoke when he was spoken to. He skipped superhero practice entirely. The only time they would truly see him was on patrol. They would see him swinging around, not stopping to acknowledge them.

Roman didn’t take breaks unless you counted the small naps he used to avoid becoming exhausted. He knew the others would be mad at him so he kept himself hidden. He didn’t want them to worry. They wouldn’t have to, it would be worth it in the end.

The others were extremely worried about him, Virgil the most. Roman didn’t answer calls, his communicator was never on and he answered text with one or two words. They feared the had lost Roman forever.

The three of them sat on a rooftop before patrol, all missing their dear friend. It was just the three of them today as Thomas had a date with MJ but they both demanded updates if Roman had been found.

A loud crash could be heard as their spidey senses went off.

Virgil rolled his eyes “Very helpful, you useless car alarm.”

Logan rolled his eyes and pulled Virgil along “Let’s go!”

The three arrived to find Roman fighting a giant robot. The watch in horror as every time Roman went to hit it, the robot would just swat him away.

Arachne waved his hand to get LoveBite and Spidergale’s attention “LoveBite, get Royal Slinger. Sidergale, follow me!”

When Roman went to go attack the robot once again, Patton scooped him up and held him.

“LET GO!”

“AS YOUR BEST FRIEND I SAY HECK NO!”

Both Logan and Virgil attempted to put a dent in the robot but, like with Roman before, it just swatted them away. Roman jumped out of Patton’s arm and went for the robot’s head. Another arm came out the back of it and smacked Roman into Logan.

Roman ran forward again but this time, Logan grabbed him while shouting “RETREAT!”

They all swung a few blocks away from the robot, Logan pulling Roman the whole way. The jumped into an abandoned building where Logan threw Roman to the ground as revenge for abandoning the group.

Roman growled and hopped up, ready to throw down with Logan. But he caught Virgil staring at him.

“Roman…” Virgil whispered

“Virgil…” Roman whispered back

The gaze was loving but they shut down. On one hand, Roman wanted to do nothing but scoop Virgil up and kiss him but on the other, he wanted to stick to his plan. Virgil was having a similar dilemma as he wasn’t sure to straddle or strangle Roman.

Logan cleared his throat, making everyone look at him “The robot seems to have a very quick reaction time, our regular attacks won’t work.” Logan knew Patton was scared. “I have a plan though. Spidergale will rush it head on while invisible. As it looks for what is attacking it, I will signal Royal Slinger and LoveBit to rush it from the sides. Make it fall on its back. When it’s down, I will use my super speed to run and put my mini robots in it. That way, more people will be attacking it until he breaks. Just keep it on the ground.”

The team all vocally agreed to Logan’s plan. All except Roman, he only nodded. His eyes were locked on Virgil and his mind was elsewhere. The split off in their respective directions and waited for the robot to turn the corner.

“Everyone’s in position. Spidergale, go!”

Unbeknownst to them, the robot had a heat sensor. When invisible Virgil ran up to it, it knew exactly where he was. It almost hit Virgil and made him turn visible again.

Roman bolted to Virgil.

“ROYAL SLINGER, DON’T! STICK TO THE PLAN!”

Roman ignored Logan and jumped in front of Virgil. As the robot swung at them, Roman let out a sonic shriek. It was so loud that everyone in the area had to cover their ears, glass shattered and the robot went flying backward.

The building began to crack from the impact of the giant robot. Roman swung over to check over the robot. He began kicking it relentlessly. It was revenge for the robot attempting to attack Virgil but also because he had unknowingly had pent-up anger he wanted to get out. He dented the robot over and over again. He was so distracted by rage that he didn’t realize the robot had one last trick up its sleeve.

Roman’s spidey sense went off but he couldn’t react fast enough before the robot exploded. “NO!” was the last thing he heard before everything went black

Roman’s first thought when he woke up was that Logan was definitely going to yell at him for not following his plan. Roman still thought it was a stupid plan and he would let Logan know it.

He pushed up expecting rubble. Once he felt the soft sheets on the bed in Thomas’ guest room, panic set in. He was cornered. Patton was more than likely leaning against the door, waiting for the sound of movement so he could jump him. Thomas was definitely next to him. Logan was probably the only thing holding Patton back right now. And Virgil…

Virgil suddenly materialized upside down on the ceiling above Roman. He was tapping one of his crossed arms with a finger and glaring at Roman.

Roman knew he had to play this right. “Hey, V…what’s up?”

“What’s up? What’s up?! WHAT’S UP?!” Virgil removed one foot from the ceiling and placed it on Roman’s throat while leaning forward. “YOU BEING AN IDIOT IS WHAT’S UP! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! WE HAD A PLAN!” Roman frowned “I stopped the bad guy, didn’t I?”

Virgil flipped off the ceiling and landed right next to the bed, scowling at Roman “Oh yes, good job! You could have died Roman! If Logan hadn’t shot you with web and pulled you back, who knows what would have happened! You were so lucky that only the flying pieces of metal that hit you only knocked you out!”

“Logan’s plan didn’t work! I had to do something! It was going to hurt you!”

“Oh, that makes it so much better! Would you like a kiss for that?! Or is the concussion you have giving you enough attention?!” Roman felt the words sting as it stabbed him and drained all the fight in Roman, not that there was much left. “Yeah…” Roman rolled over “It is…”

Virgil’s gut told him that he needed to press Roman more. “Roman, what’s going on? You’re never around anymore…”

Roman didn’t turn around “I…”

“Don’t make me get Patton.”

“I’m trying to become good enough for you!” Roman spat out as he spun around

“You’re…you’re kidding, right? Why would you think you’re good enough?”

“You don’t want to sit in my lap, you don’t want to hold my hand, you hate it when I lift you.” Roman felt it was time to let it all out, not that he could stop his word vomit. “But you do that with Logan…”

Virgil sat on the bed and grasped Roman’s hand “Ro, he’s just my best friend. Nothing more. Yes, I’m more comfortable with him but it doesn’t mean anything.” “Apparently since you seem to do it with everyone else but me!”

“That just proves that how I show you how much I love you is different, special.”

“Yeah, right.” Roman looked away from Virgil, slightly wincing when he heard his boyfriend whimper when Roman pulled his hand away. He wanted to believe Virgil but he couldn’t. How could he? No examples can to mind. Plus, he really hated fighting.

Virgil sighed before playing with the “Hey Ro?”

Roman blinked away his tears before turning back to his boyfriend.

“Do you remember that time you came to the dance studio?”

It was November 23th, a nice chilly Friday. Virgil had asked Ms. Green if he could stay in the studio for a little longer to go over the newest routine. He thought the studio was at its best when no one else was there.

Except he wasn’t alone.

Roman watched from the doorway as Virgil turned on his toes, something Roman could only dream of doing. Roman decided to surprise Virgil with a walk home. Play practice had ended early so he thought why not. When Virgil stopped to pose, Roman clapped. That made Virgil jump out of his skin

“Asshole! You scared the shit out of me!”

Roman chuckled “Sorry babe, I couldn’t help it. You are amazing and a wonderful dancer!”

Virgil blushed madly “Thanks…”

“Though I don’t think you can salsa as well as me?”

Virgil smirked, “Is that a challenge Princey?”

Roman walked over and stuck out his hand “Maybe.”

Virgil took it “Challenge accepted.”

They danced with no music and no tempo. They kept switching who was leading, they were fighting over dominance the entire time. And they had so much fun doing it.

They broke out into a fit of giggles as they held each other once they got tired. Roman gently kissed Virgil’s head before grabbing his dance bag. Like a gentleman, as Roman insisted he be, carried the bag all the way back to Virgil’s house. They chatted about different dance styles they enjoyed and when they should pull off their next prank on Thomas.

Roman smiled slightly at the memory, he remembered running home like a blushing school girl once he was sure Virgil was inside his apartment. “Of course I remember V, but I don’t understand--”

Virgil cupped Roman’s face to make sure he was looking into his eyes “Do you know how intimate dancing is?”

For the first time in Roman’s life, he could say he was truly stunned “H-Huh?”

“Ms. Green told me the next day, she apparently saw us dancing, that the reason dance partner end up dating each other is that how they feel about one another is seen through their dancing. You move with one another, you become one being. Dancing is romantic, it is sexual, it is an expression of love.” Virgil smiled, he was truly fascinated by what he was saying. “You’re the only one I have ever willing danced with.”

Roman was stunned silent. His mind flashback to watching his parents dancing together in the living room during holidays and any private time they had together. He looked over to his boyfriend, his boyfriend the dancer. The professional amazing dancer. Roman didn’t feel worthy of that dance. Still, he nodded in understanding so that Virgil wouldn’t worry.

Virgil looked deep into his eyes, to see if Roman really meant it. His once lively eyes were clouded, unsure, and full of doubt. He spoke the words “I understand” but there was nothing to them. Roman didn’t believe him.

Roman recovered quickly, and with the approval of everyone, was allowed to go out a patrol again in just a week.

Virgil spent the whole time trying to make Roman happy again. He took care of Roman the whole week. He gave Roman kisses on the cheek and held his hand to ground him. It slowly helped Roman return back to his preppy, happy self.

Slowly. Very slowly. Virgil could see the hesitance anytime Roman went to kiss him, the doubt when he hugged Virgil, the surprise when Virgil would grasp his hands. It was painful to watch Roman suffer this way and frankly, Virgil was craving needy Roman.

Virgil sighed, he needed to come up with a new tactic or they would be graduating college before Roman was okay.

“Okay, so Logan and Virgil will take the East and South sides today while Patton, Roman and I will do the North and West,” Thomas wanted to keep an eye on Roman, maybe even have a good talk with him.

Logan and Patton untangle from one another and kissed goodbye. Patton watched Logan walk to the window so that he could make sure Roman didn’t try to run ahead.

Roman could feel the eyes on it, already putting him in a bad mood. Virgil tapped his arms, pulling his attention to him.

Virgil gave him a soft smile “I’ll see you in three hours, okay?”

Roman smiled back “Of course.” Roman leaned down instinctively to give Virgil a kiss, making Virgil’s heart soar. This would be the first time since the “Roman was all over Virgil” day that Roman would have made the first move.

But then Roman pulled away.

He turned towards the window, ignoring the shock faces on everyone. He intended to go on ahead since he almost messed up again.

Virgil grabbed the arms that were going to put the mask on Roman’s face and forced Roman around. He slammed his lips against Roman’s.

Roman’s eyes fluttered shut as he kissed back. The kiss was desperate and much needed.

Virgil pulled back and turned to the others “Can we have some alone time?” The others nodded simultaneously and jumped out the window.

Virgil turned to Roman, concern dripping all over his face “What was that? Why did you pull away?”

Roman’s eyes were unfocused “I didn’t want to make the same mistake I made before.”

Virgil frowned “Roman…is that why you’ve been so shy lately?”

Roman nodded, afraid to speak.

Virgil placed his hands on Roman’s shoulder “You know how we avoid that? By making rules. You can hold my hand and you can kiss me on the cheek whenever you want. Anytime we say goodbye, I want you to kiss me on the lips. Anything else you can just ask me first.”

Roman smiled slightly “I like those rules.”

Virgil smiled back “I love it when you give me affection. You made one mistake Roman, but the fact that you want to fix it speaks volumes about you. I love you more than anything. Never doubt that.”

Roman nodded absently. He didn’t doubt that Virgil loved him but he couldn’t help but think he was going to mess up again. He couldn’t help it. He needed something to know everything would be okay.

Virgil sucked in his breath. “You still don’t believe me!” Virgil exclaimed, which made Roman take a step back. Virgil shook his head as an idea came to mind. “Fine, don’t believe my words. Grandma always said actions speak louder than words.”

Before Roman could question what he was talking about, Virgil placed Roman’s hands on his own waist and wrapped his arms around Roman’s neck. The held each other for a moment before Virgil began to sing.

“You know I want you. It's not a secret I try to hide.” Roman couldn’t help but smile, he adored this song and the man who was singing it.

Virgil gently took Roman’s hands in his “I know you want me. So don't keep saying our hands are tied.”

Roman relaxed when Virgil willingly put his callous hand over his small and fragile waist. They slowly began to waltz, Virgil taking the lead as he was the better dance out of the two.

“You claim it's not in the cards. Fate is pulling you miles away and out of reach from me.” Virgil spun Roman out, the latter find a smile creep onto his face.

“But you're here in my heart so who can stop me if I decide that you're my destiny?” Pulling Roman back in, Virgil grasps Roman’s right hand and let Roman’s other arm drape over his shoulder. The living room transformed into their ballroom, they could not care who was watching. Their movements were fluid as if they rehearsed this dance day-in and day-out.

Virgil lifted Roman and placed him on the coffee table. Virgil ran around it as Roman twirled. “What if we rewrite the stars? Say you were made to be mine.”

Roman leaned back and Virgil caught him bridal style “Nothing could keep us apart. You'd be the one I was meant to find.”

Virgil spun him once more before placing him on the group. He took Roman’s hands in his and looked him directly in the eye as he sang. “It's up to you, and it's up to me. No one can say what we get to be. So why don't we rewrite the stars?”

They both turned to the open window. “Maybe the world could be ours…” Putting their masks back on, they jumped out as Virgil sang. “Tonight.”

They both shot out a webbing to swing on but held one another’s waist. They continue their waltz in the air, using the webbing to keep an even level.

Logan, Patton, and Thomas watched as they continued their sky dance with long pinning looks that were only blocked by their masks.

Logan adjusted the setting on his mask “Are they…dancing?”

Thomas chuckled “And singing too.”

Logan raised an eyebrow “But why? They are only wasting their webbing, even if they can make their own, and alerting attention to themselves--”

Patton turned to Logan, a dagger-like glare in his eyes “Logi-bear, I love you but shut you ever-flapping gobtalker. They are having a moment and I must see all of it.” Thomas and Logan took a step back to give Patton optimal space.

Patton was excited, he didn’t have to touch either of them to know they were happy now. He was waiting for a moment like this.

He wasn’t the only one.

Emile was setting up his camera at this moment. He had deciphered each of the Spidermen’s patrol routes, today he was planning on getting pictures of Royal Slinger. He was anticipating action shots, maybe even some poses from the fanciful Spiderman. Instead, he was greeted with Spidergale and Royal Slinger dancing while singing one of his favorite songs.

This would look great on his Royalgale fan page.

He finished setting up the camera just as Roman landed on one building and Virgil landed on one across from him. They shot webbing at the crane that happened to be in a construction zone between the two building. They locked eyes and nodded.

Swinging off the buildings, they belted “All I want is to fly with you! All I want is to fall with you! So just give me all of you!”

Their webbing crossed, pulling them both closer and closer together as they spun.

“It feels impossible!” They tighten their grips on the webbing and reached for one another “It's not impossible!” The grasped the other’s arm.

“Is it impossible?” They pulled the other closer so that their foreheads were touching.

“Say that it's possible!” Virgil let go of his webbing. Roman tossed him in the air.

“How do we rewrite the stars? Say you were made to be mine?” Roman caught him and they swung on Roman’s webbing.

Virgil shot another webbing and Roman let go of his “Nothing can keep us apart! 'Cause you are the one I was meant to find!”

“It's up to you. And it's up to me.” They continued to switch back and forth, perfectly waltzing. Roman dipped Virgil. Virgil then wrapped his arms around Roman’s neck and Roman held his waist with his free arm. They spun once more, Virgil having complete trust and faith that Roman wouldn’t drop him.

They landed on an empty rooftop. “No one can say what we get to be. And why don't we rewrite the stars?” They morphed back into the tradition, slow waltz as the adrenaline wore off.

They pressed their foreheads together as they came to a halt “Changing the world to be ours.”

Virgil gently lifted up his mask so that Roman could see his smile “So, do you feel better now?”

Roman didn’t reply, he only placed a finger on Virgil’s lips to silence him. Roman lifted up his mask and sang “You know I want you. It's not a secret I try to hide.”

Virgil frowned, he knew what the next line entailed. Was Roman still upset? Did he still not believe him?

Roman whispered softly “And now that I have you, I promise to never leave your side.”

Virgil smirked “Changing the lyrics? So unlike you Princey.”

Roman lifted up his mask to show that he was smirking back “I happened to be a bit creative, thank you very much.”

Virgil shook his head “Not a bit, you’re the most creative, handsome, amazing man I have ever met.”

They leaned in for the kiss again, but this time, Roman didn’t pull away. The kiss was as passionate as their first. It was powerful, energetic, on fire, with people screaming.

Oh, wait.

The looked up as their spidey sense alerted them of a nearby building fire.

Roman turned to Virgil “Duty calls.”

Virgil may have pulled his mask back down but the smirk behind it was so obvious. “Try to keep up Princey.”

Roman had a love-hate relationship with fire. One the one hand, it could make an evening alone so much more romantic. It is a source of life in comfort. On the other hand, fire is the reason he couldn’t see his father again, why his siblings kept asking why the “big black box” was closed with Papa inside.

Right now, he was on the hate side. A gas fire broke out and all he and friends could do was go inside and make sure no one was trapped inside. Roman never realized how flammable things can be until he got in that building. Worse, his cape caught on fire so he had an unnecessary timer to get all the people on the side of his building out.

Luckily, they were able to get everyone on out alive. Roman’s costume didn’t seem to get the same treatment.

They all swung as fast as they could to get back to Thomas’ place, Roman in the lead. Once he was two steps into the apartment, Roman ripped off his mask and gasped for air. The air-conditioned air stung against his hot skin. He ripped off the top of his costume and was glad that he had no put a shirt on underneath it. He flopped onto the couch, arms spread across the back as he panted. A web rag was placed across his forehead but he had no strength to thank the person responsible for doing so.

He had no idea how much time had passed before the world and his stomach stopped spinning but it was pure torture. He vaguely heard voices, most likely Thomas worrying about his health.

He slowly picked up his head to look around for Virgil. He wondered aloud where he was.

A hand waved in front of him “Right here, you okay Princey?”

Found him.

Roman puts his head back down and sighed “As okay as I can be. What about you?”

Although his vision was still very blurry, Roman could tell Virgil shrugged “I’d say the same.”

Roman sighed, though he had nothing to add. Once he felt his strength returning for good, roman picked up his head again “Do you want me to move so you can lay down?”

“No.”

Roman nodded, he wasn’t going to force Virgil to relax if he didn’t want to, that was Thomas’ Patton’s job. At least, that’s what he thought he Virgil meant until he felt someone placing themselves.

Roman turned his head and locked eyes with Virgil who was sitting in his lap. Virgil smiled and wrapped his arms around Roman’s neck and cuddled into him.

Roman instantly wrapped his arms around Virgil and held him close. He felt happy tears welling up in his eyes. He had been chosen, Virgil trusted him.

This was paradise.

Tag list:

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#spideyverse AU #prinxiety #logicality #sanders sides #thomas sanders #princxiety #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #remy sanders #emile picani #thomassanders

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