#but is she a bad person

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

#good omens #´hello friends!! how are you!! #I hope you're doing well! ( ´ ▽ ` ) #I have a big cough but otherwise I am good! It's nothign bad I am just very slimey #usually I am not a cough person I am not sure where this is coming from #most of the time I just get a stuffy nose #has my nose gotten stronger #but there are good news too I have already found a VERY good chestnut to put into my pocket this autumn!! its very small! (❁´▽`❁) #it's been a very warm autumn in Germany so far so it has not really felt like fall yet #but yesterday it was all rainy and stormy and I had two new books and it was the best day possible to have a slimey cough (: #and now I feel SO much autumn I am close to buying a set of window colors #I do not know what I would to with the window colors I just have this strong urge in me to buy a window color set #the last time I did a window color was at the birtday of a class mate I think she turned 9 and I made a deer #but for some reason we did this craft 5 minutes before we all had to leave so we had to carry our window color deer home wet #unfortunatly for the deer and me I fell down the stairs of her house and smeared the deer all over me and i screamed the entire drive home #which wasn't very long but it probably felt very long for the mother who had a screaming child covered in window color deer inside her car

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

#my art #feralnette au #birds of a feather #long tags #sorry I went apeshit in the tags #LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW #I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO #its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical #and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread #as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational #in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away #and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do #shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again #legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it #but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings #alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird #she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her #knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself #between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot #and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo #essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that #busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way #to show her she's self sabotaging #cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD

[beanghostprincess]

there's just something about pre-timeskip nami that makes me love her more and more every day

#she's just like me fr #we're the same person actually #i kin her so bad i love her so much #the last pic is my instagram pfp #she's so important to me you don't even know #nami #one piece nami #cat burglar nami #pre timeskip nami #one piece

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4 (soon))

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU #I wanted to try out a different paneling style for this one - sorry I'm a day late! (there will still be a post tomorrow to keep on track) #The original 3 panel comic idea was fine but the point of this new schedule was to take time to push myself a bit more. #I was taking a look back through some comic artists I felt inspired by #and I really loved how Lynda Barry fills her gutters with patterns and doodles! #Obviously I'm not going as absolutely wild with it as she does but it was a great exercise! #I truly think the gutters are the most important and most overlooked part of any comic. There's lots going on in that space. #It's the same with timeskips. The implied movement between moments that we don't see changes depending on how wide that gap is #You're here for the funny tags so here's some that ties this time talk together: #I think LWJ was thinking about that second note from day 2 but it took him 7 days of hazing to commit it to paper. #I think he sends it a day later and immediately regrets it. Chasing down the messenger and everything. #You know if something actually happened to his brother he would never ever forgive himself for putting the bad vibes out there. #Third time skip was the hardest because there was so many possible flavours of jokes here. Day 8/9 was a personal favourite. #day 14 was also funny (week by week). I think the debate on 'how long does lwj take to catch feelings' is more or less: #'how long does it take for him to arrive at a particular stage of grief and yearning (and awareness of it all) #This is a symphony. There is an act by act structure. Every day he is fighting to keep his old sensibilities. He is losing so badly. #(I'll be returning to the main comic soon but there is more of this AU to come!)

[thegreatidk]

My biggest beef with the way Annabeth was written in the show is that I think Rick fell into his own trap. Like his whole thing with Annabeth is that just because someone doesn’t look smart doesn’t mean they aren’t. And while it’s about their literal looks for both the show and the book, book Annabeth also sometimes acted in ways that people wouldn’t stereotypically associate with “smart” because I think we’ve all be condition to think bbc sherlock no emotions genius is the only way to be smart. Book Annabeth acts super flustered around Luke because she's a kid and she has a crush on him, she's afraid of spiders, and wanted to see the arch just because she thought it was cool. In general book Annabeth is allowed to be sillier and have a wider range of emotions than show Annabeth without it detracting from the fact that Annabeth is smart. I find this whole "stoic genius" idea is often used to put down teenage girls for being dumb and superficial just because they show emotions and the only way to beat it is to be cold, calculating, and emotionless and most people just aren't like that.

#Like on a personal note I was in robotics in high school #And all the other kids were juniors and seniors and also male #And they would bully me so bad for liking anything remotely girly or being emotional #And I was really trying to earn their respect because I wanted to captain next year #And the only way I felt I could do that was by supressing everything #And I remember relating so hard to Annabeth and being jealous of her because she acted basically the way I did #But nobody thought she was dumb or not worth leading a quest because of it #like yes percy bullies her a little lol but at the end of the day he doesn't question her wisdom #pjo show crit #annabeth chase #pjotv spoilers

[shima-draws]

Hey. Hey you know what would be cool and fun. First post of 2024. 1000 notes. We can do it. Yeah? Yeah??

Take a picture of my dog as an incentive

#Dogs #Chihuahua #Cute dog #Dog #If every person who follows me likes and reblogs this we could hit 1k EASY. No problemo. #Also look at her. Look at my baby girl. Give her the love and appreciation she deserves #You no like the post? Oh! Jail for followers! Jail for followers for one thousand years!! #Also if you look to the right you can see my other dog lying right by my leg lol #IDK I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN. ANYWAY. #Happy New Year everyone <3333 I’m still sick but tbh it hasn’t been that bad #Compared to the stomach bug I had two weeks ago Covid is feeling like a cakewalk tbh. #Shima speaks

[charlietheepicwriter7]

Her parents had come home with Phantom, captured and beaten in a cage. They'd taken him down to the basement, preparing to do a few hours of tests before really ripping into him to look at his insides.

With shaking hands, Jazz dialed, the call jumping around several different signals to get around the media blackout.

"Justice League hotline, what's your emergency?"

She swallowed. "My parents have kidnapped a meta kid and they're planning on experimenting on him. They're holding him down in our basement and I can't get him out."

#dc x dp #dcxdp #dpxdc #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #c: jazz fenton #bad fenton parents #justice league hotline #does jazz know danny is phantom here? #yeah probably #but i think she's had to deal with a few social workers who didn't believe her about their parents neglect before #so she thinks the JL will respond faster if they DON'T know its her brother #that the person on the other end of the line would try to convince her that her parents would NEVER hurt their son and write her call off

[swolfyxd]

Old draw but still... circus yuri, ragatha design inspo from @/yamicoolkid !

#buttonblossom #pomni x ragatha #tadc #tadc pomni #tadc fanart #the amazing digital circus #pomni #the amazing digital circus pomni #the amazing digital yuri #honesty though i think she fumbled hard #like me personally i could never drop a bad b like that

[sidetongue]

Barbara is still here, unfortunately

#the good news is her leag is healing and doesnt need a cast anymore! #the bad news is i am not a toy poodle person #and she annoys the heck out of me #barbara #sprig #dogs

[scuderiakarts]

Certain sections of F1 media literally can’t breathe without denigrating Susie Wolff. When she got appointed managing director of F1A - it’s because of Toto. When F1A has success - it’s because she’s married to Toto and he’s influenced the other teams. When Toto is accused of something unethical - “did you know his wife works with the FIA?” [even though she’s not involved in this at all and is not accused of having leaked information]

Susie Wolff is a racing driver in her own right. She’s been a successful Team Principal in Formula E, and CEO of a racing team (one that was in direct competition with Mercedes might I add). She was a Formula 1 development driver and the first woman to drive in a Grand Prix weekend for more than 20 years.

She has a career that she’s earned on her own, completely separate from who she chose to marry, and the reduction of her to just “Toto’s wife” - including by other F1 Team Principals - is such blatant, ugly sexism.

“Imagine if Geri Horner was working in F2?” If Geri Horner had Susie’s resume I would love for her to be working in motorsports because we need more women in motorsports at all levels, including at the top?

#and I’m not defending Toto btw if he did insider trading that’s obviously bad #personally I think they all use all the contacts they have at the FIA to figure out information ahead of time because that’s pretty much #part of your job description when you’re in a role like that but whatever #but Toto doing something unethical is not a reason to attack Susie for something she’s not even being accused of involvement in #sexism in this sport rears it’s ugly head yet again can’t say I’m surprised #susie wolff #mercedes #f1

[leafspiritz]

(i kiss her again) 💜🖤

#this scene is so special to me #we talk plenty about ‘can i kiss you?’ but we don’t discuss ‘i kiss her again’ enough #laudna being at her lowest but then hearing ‘you’re not a bad person’ with such honesty and confidence #and suddenly all her walls are dropped because imogen is the only person who could say that who laudna would believe #and the only thing holding her back was that she truly doesn’t think she’s good enough for imogen but #hearing imogen say she’s not a bad person and MEAN it is enough for laudna to give in and let herself love… #ANYWAYYYY #imodna #southern gothic #imogen temult #laudna #laudna critical role #imogen critical role #laura bailey #marisha ray #imodna fanart #critical role #critical role fanart #cr #campaign 3 #c3 #dnd #dungeons and dragons #d&d #fanart #digital art #procreate

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next (tw: blood)

#remember that one person who was like she's losing a lot of blood huh #YEAH SHE IS AND ITS BAD OOPS LMAO #tw blood #birds of a feather #felix has a LOT of things they want to say to marinette #but now isnt the time for scolding when a perfectionist is in a manic episode #they were under the impression she only agreed to fix the outfits because she was already working on some #nope. all nighter with magical objects baybee!!!

[aroaceleovaldez]

i keep forgetting to post this Piper which is a shame because this is one of the best Piper outfits i've ever drawn

#pjo #riordanverse #piper mclean #piper is the type of person to wear youtuber merch and i stand by it #especially really silly youtuber merch #she's all about anti-fashion and intentionally looking messy and bad #look me in the eyes and tell me she wouldn't see the tackiest clothes ever and go ''i need it'' #my art

[musubiki]

trying to bully the weird girl who always grabs random shit

#the cat witchs guild #the misc adventures of mochi and lime #mochi #lime #limochi #childhood #art #ocs #original #comic #bullying mochi just ends in him feeling bad because she doesnt realize shes being bullied #young lime wanted to see her get all mad and frustrated but instead shes like (wow such great materials) #(Get off the ground i cant be seen with a little gremlin person walking home)

[marzipanandminutiae]

#poll #bad history #no Baylie Carson you cannot be 'she/they Boleyn' #you are a nonbinary actor playing a cis female 'character.' because she's not a character. she's a real person #who was a cis woman #with no known evidence of liking other women. ergo based on current scholarship...she was not queer #and it's cool I think! more trans and NB actors SHOULD play cis characters! god knows the reverse happens often enough! #but. yeah. #interestingly the pocket thing was a stolen and misrepresented bit of worldbuilding from another author #who was very clear- when the debate came to her attention -that it was fictional and she made it up #(it was from Alix E. Harrow's The Once and Future Witches) #but Forster blocked everyone who pointed this out and deleted all contradicting comments