Tumgik
#but im pretty chill otherwise
skywewe · 11 months
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Ok this is so irrational and crazy but if somebody disagrees with my headcanons I literally can't take it, i want to kill them with a rock now, and i cant talk to them for 24-48 hours cause i have to cool off. Especially sexuality headcanons thats the worst for me. I get soo irrationally angry, and it stems from the fact that I think I'm always right.
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ninja-knox-ur-sox-off · 2 months
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Just got home after spinnin out something feirce off the highway into the ditch. Hope y'all are staying safe and warm tonight ! Remember to use four wheel drive on icy highways and drive slow for winter conditions!
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hungrydolphin91 · 1 year
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Making my very first poll to ask the important questions here
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esperqm · 6 months
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behold! the little bastard woman laying directly on my left ankle
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swildy · 2 years
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characters by @hitodama89, @chalkrub, Anexicity, @dodgermd-art, Amy_Wierdo, art_block__, Paige_Roux, T1gerScratch, feather_claw_ & WarTilPeace
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halorocks1214 · 2 years
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me deleting the tumblr bookmark on my computer and the app on my homescreen the night before bcuz i wanted to force myself into a break since i wasn’t feel great about Other Things getting back online One Time to check my notifs before i go to bed
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#so. ive been pretty detatched from m/c/y/t as a whole recently. not to the point that ill abandon fics#but enough that i only engage with content directly on my dash (no going into the tags is what im saying)#for now im just gonna chill. maybe write those other fandom fics i mentioned on my writing blog since the hobbies taking up most of my time#have been wrung a little dry lol#mostly im just gonna wait and see how this plays out. i plan to start writing for m/c/y/t again eventually of course#as for d/s/m/p related stuff that could be Officially Done Finally.#any completed fic will stay up. the WIPS will at the very least be orphaned (if not outright deleted)#this is worse case scenario Everything Plays Out Badly tho (i guess if you can say it hasnt already)#i think im gonna fully uninstall/logout. i didnt want to logout bcuz resigning in is annoying but that looks like what its gonna take F#mutuals feel free to ask for my discord over a tumblr ask in case any of yall wanna talk while im Offline and Touching Grass For Once#regardless of mutual status if you wanna send in an ask i might pop in to answer it and then pop back out#mainly because i rarely get asks anyway LMAO i highly doubt ill get any now#i say use an ask bcuz i get emails for those. comments and/or dms dont reach me outside of tumblr#i think what will bring me back the soonest is if i actually sit down and watch cour 2 of season two for t/&/b YES I HAVENT WATCHED IT YET#cringefail moment i know#otherwise thats basically where ive been. i have a bunch of funny videos saved in my likes that ill queue for yall#as well as some fandom posts in my drafts ill sprinkle in there#drink water stay safe etc etc#i will see yall on the flipside <3#oh also b4 i forget VOTE SNIFFER
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arolesbianism · 9 months
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Dancer 🤝 Helmet being low empathy despite literally having different flavors of mind reading
#rat rambles#eternal gales#Im like 75% sure Ive made this post bit shhhhgh#any old blog posts might as well not exist#anyways helmet has more general mind reading while dancer ironically has emotion reading#but they both still struggle to rly. connect with the emotions they detect#especially for helmet since their mind reading is near constantly active so it all just feels like white noise to them#dancer's is only rly active when hes particularly stressed out or just otherwise feeling strong emotions#because of how his body works it takes a lot less stress or excitement to activate his abilities than your average stalien#but yeah his emotions reading is smth hes very rarely benifited from since it just feels the same to him as like watching someone be#visibly upset#aka he doesnt rly connect with these forien emotions at all he can sometimes like name what they are but it doesnt rly click as real to him#during his crashes this tends to be one of the big things that hes ashamed of as he sees it as a personal faliure even tho its not#helmet's low empathy is also linked to trauma mostly from yknow. being surrounded by dying children for several years.#they struggle a lot with letting themself see the ppl around them as fellow living beings and even those they do care abt can sometimes#feel a lot more like concepts to them than people#dancer and helmet have a very. complicated relationship because of all of these factors#dancer actually hated helmet at first due to how quickly busy started liking them#but once helmet started giving him free stuff and just generally being nice to him he warmed up to them pretty quick#the two of them are pretty chill friends but after the initial ok cool guess I have a friend now 👍 period some quiet conflict arose a bit#mostly in the fact that the others abilities make both of them quite paranoid#dancer is trying to manage it but helmet is like 100% convinced that of dancer ever reads their emotions he'll learn that they secretly#are an uncaring husk (theyre not) and he'll think theyre a monster (he wont)#theyre both just so scared that the other secretly hates them and theyre both alergic to communication so its just them dying slowly#meanwhile busy is just sitting there going 'I can fix them' at the both of them (she cant but shes kind of helping at least)
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potatoesrawesome · 2 years
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just gonna say it. the nj turnpike is literally not that bad, driving in manhattan or the garden state parkway is harrowing
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fizzlo-and-the-cubes · 3 months
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alr to help with the Great QSMP Content Drought of 2024 im gonna empty all the death family headcanons in my brain onto this tumblr dot com post
all these are cubitos unless stated otherwise btw i just didnt want to go through and indicate every name lmao
(also to my qpr deathduo homies (luv yas) I'm a bit of a romantic pissa truther so be warned about that)(but i also suck at writing romance so it's pretty subtle also most of these are about chayanne)
remember last year when Chayanne was almost always asleep because the admin was too busy? i think that his ties to death pulled his conscious into Kristin's domain whenever he slept, so he just spent his time chilling over there (i simply choose to ignore the fact that she isn't canon)
Tallulah can clearly see and hear spirits, all her brother can see are blurry figures and the occasional whisper
Chay's wings started growing feathers very early on, Phil had to pretend he had no idea where they came from whilst also assuring a heavily sobbing Missa that he didn't cheat on him
no one has known fear like a fed worker that tried to touch Chayanne's wings in the early days and almost lost their hands to a newly-grounded crow
unrelated to that Philza Minecraft puts the 'death' in 'death-glare'
Chayanne's first attempts of jumping off the wall on day one were baby-crow instincts but after that he was just doing it for his dads' reactions
Chayanne knows the blade, but he knows strategy far better - both draw blood in the end, regardless
Juanaflippa was the best at swimming, then Leonarda, then Chayanne
when they learn to fly, Chayanne is the best, then Tallulah, then Pomme
Leonarda wonders why bother flying when she has a cloud to do it for her
Chayanne wants to fly just as much as Tallulah, but she's more vocal about it since her brain is experiencing crow instincts for the first time
Phil taught Pomme how to aim
Phil has dreamed about his kids in his hardcore world more than once
Richarlyson was the one who cut Tallulah's hair short (THANK GOD HE DIDN'T LEARN FROM MIKE)
Tallulah often put flowers in her hair when it was longer, so she sneaks some into everyone else's now that its short
Chayanne can summon his mask over his face (like the Visoreds from Bleach. this is because i like Bleach and will put as many references as i want)
Phil acts more short-tempered than before, and the roses have started to wilt
upon arriving on a reset island, Phil finds Missa hanging off of a rose branch
i hc Missa's face to be similar to bad's since they're both reapers (so a black void with two white eyes and nothing else) but instead of horns Missa has flowy, almost mist-like hair that fades to cyan at the ends
Phil saw it for the first time at the prison when Missa's mask and hood slipped off in his sleep (entirely Chayanne's fault) and was completely normal about it end definitely went back to sleep and didn't stay up staring between Missa's hair and the ceiling.
upon stealing a kiss from Missa, Quackity had to sit down for a few minutes because he couldn't comprehend the texture of Missa's face
Phil was fine tho. he's kissed death plenty of times
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aihaitahm · 1 year
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hsr + genshin characters being your tattoo artist <3
idk! just an idea while i was driving:)! but i thought it would be hot to think abt kafka telling you its okay or seeing alhaitham having a tattoo sleeve bc of his arms ^_^
cw tattooing so mentions of pain ! maybe slightly suggestive.
alhaitham
very punctual and ready when the job needs to be done, so if your late, he would be irritated and would charge you a bit more. luckily you arrive in time but he couldnt help but observe you. he wont deny that he finds you cute.
doesn’t like to do small talk, just quietly sits there and he works on your tattoo. though he does listen to you talk if you talk. he would simply nod to most of his customers but for some reason he found himself talking to you and enjoying a conversation. cyno and dehya noticed this and quickly eyed on each other.
you couldnt help but stare at him and the way he is working. he is doing an incredible job while being so hot with it. seeing his amazing tattoo sleeve, you decided to ask him about it.
“did you do that yourself?” you pointed curiously.
“yes i did with the help of cyno. it was challenging but overall i think it came out amazing.”
queue dehya nudging cyno and snickering at the back. alhaitham looks at them and glares.
when he is finished with his work, he musters up the courage to ask you out. feeling a bit of pride since you complimented him and gave him a huge tip.
“i think you are lovely. would you want to go out sometime? its okay if not.” he bluntly asked, not caring about the looks he was getting in the tattoo shop.
“oh! yes of course i would love to. here’s my number!” you smiled.
when you went home, you received a text from alhaitham, asking if you want to go to the movies or eat somewhere to get to know you more. you cant help but be flustered and be excited to get to know him more. on the other hand, alhaitham could not stop grinning at his phone that dehya had grab his phone so that he could clean up his work station.
yae miko
her tattoo work station is so pretty!! it is filled with pink and purple colors. she makes sure her customer feels welcomed and comfortable.
as soon as you walk in, she would compliment you already. “ah you’re my adorable guest today, take a seat if you may please.~”
she smells so good. she smells so expensive with a hint of sakura and vanilla. she is literally enchanting you with her scent. of course you compliment her and she flirtatiously says thank you!
probably has a really chill, lazy cat that lays beside the guest whether by your arm or leg or tummy, he is just there and loafing.
wouldnt do this for most of her customers except maybe her friends but she asks if youre hungry and would order food for you. you insisted at first but you gladly accepted the offer.
“arent you hungry dear?” she asked as she grabbed her phone to order.
“ah no its okay!” you said but suddenly youre stomach decides to grumble so loudly.
“well, you’re stummy says otherwise babe. let me order you some food? and no need to pay me back. i know how tattoos can be expensive already. take it as a treat since im very interested in you. ~” she flirted, leaving you blushing and flustered.
blade
he does piercings and tattoos. very skilled and professional at it too. has taught a lot of people and is known for original designs to go viral.
i think he can be a clean freak. everything has to be organized and his equipment has to be clean or else he cant work at all and he will have a bad day.
when you walked in for your session, blade had to fill in since the person who was supposed to tattoo you became sick.
he deeply sighed and fixed his equipment, getting ready. he was mentally preparing himself too because he has to tattoo someone who he thinks is attractive. he has to make his work perfect so that maybe you’d come back to him if you wanted more tattoos. maintaining his composure properly until you compliment him.
you were searching for ideas and he showed you his original designs. looking with awe, you didnt realize what you said.
“these designs are so pretty and unique just like the creator himself. though i think i’ll pick this spider lily flower.” you decided.
“o-oh thank you. and this spider lily it is.” he mentally facepalmed. why did he stutter.
this made kafka turn her head because of what she overheard. she smirked and of course silverwolf was curious so she turned to witness what was happening.
“wooo! thats our bladie. he’s a little bit awkward sorry!” she teased.
when it was done, you paid your bill up front and tipped him a great amount. stealing shy glances and light touches whenever you were paying him your tip. before you went out, kafka pushed blade to give you his business card filled with his phone number.
“xxx-xxxx-xxxx text me i think you’re cute.”
kafka
she loves to play music in the background and loves to talk to you while tattooing you. gives her customers free drinks of your choice except yours has a little note with a smiley face in it.
she is definitely not shy and up front when she says she is interested in you but she certainly knows her boundaries. you can spill her some gossip or any random topic and she will talk to you.
when she notices you stare at her a lot, she would give you a wink and smirk. she just laughs when you get flustered for being caught.
she smiles to you a lot and likes to gaze on you. she makes sure she is extra gentle with you and tells you to take deep breaths if it hurts.
“take a deep breath in 3… 2… 1…”
“ good job baby your doing so well.”
“im sorry this might hurt a bit…. there you go i knew you could do it. mmmm good girl/boy. take it like a champ.”
she smirks when she sees you flustered. she knows it makes you blush and she loves to see it. at the end of the session, she makes it known that she wants to take you out and shop.
did i mention she flirts with you a lot? winks at you whenever your gazes meet.
“if you clearly cant tell, i want to know you more. i would like to take you out. just you and me how does that sound?”
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sm-baby · 4 months
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Ive only been vaguely following your swap (?) AU and I have to say you're stronger than any US Marine. Not only the amount of content you put oout but the detail and story and quality- AND you somehow manage to put up with people who don't seem to care about the story you want to tell, or otherwise only read look at the art and none of what you've been saying for awhile. Like if I were you I would have turned off asks because of the crazy flood of Jax lovers, coming from someome who also likes Jax. So I jusy wanted to pop in and say I am in awe of your patience and energy to put up with some of the less fun aspects of fan content
Yeahh ... Ill leave the discussion on this ask for the day U_U Thank you, I didn't know I needed to hear that!
I honestly don't mind that some people only come over for the art, thats still flattering to me! As long as theyre having fun, Im happy!
I just have s o me bounderies I wanna put front and center cuz its hard to spread word to a lot of people with out explicitly and repetitively doing so.
This is exactly why I hessitate to write Jax. Ive had my fair share of people grossly infantilizing my characters and it got so uncomfortable; I do NOT want a repeat of it. I don't want jax to be the mascot of the au, I don't want him to be seen as a pretty face rather than a character I also put a lot of writing into!
Ive had suggestions saying to just ignore those people, and yes! I mostly will! But I wanna flat out say in the beginning that I don't like that before it grows in the background!
Its not fun, and I wanna snip it out. I don't want Jax ruined for me. I want to write him the way I want, and I want others to see him as he is. People are allowed to have their interpretations of the guy, by all means go ahead! I love the interpretations that hes a little more chill, or goofy, or soft-- People are allowed to empathize, find him attractive, and all that! I love that for you!
just not complete... Uh... Whatever that "baby boy", "cinnamon roll" thing is...
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n3ptoonz · 5 months
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mk1 dialogues with the outworld guys!
a/n: only some characters will have flirtatious lines, while others i can't stand so they WILL get made fun of (i'm looking at you shao.)
i get reiko has fans, so i pander A LIL BIT🙄i can't with havik tho im sorry i didn't grow up w his character so 🧍🏾‍♀️
for syzoth reader is a demon that can shapeshift cause he clearly got a type (ashrah is so freaking pretty)
enjoy ;p
Rain
you: i like wizards
rain: i don't like being called a "wizard"
rain: you couldn't handle the son of a god.
you: if you mean in a fight, probably not, otherwise, absolutely
you: i don't mind getting a little wet from rain
rain: you earthrealmers sure are painstakingly persistent.
rain: i would never court a commoner.
you: you won't be saying that after this match, i guarantee it (wink sound effect).
Reptile
syzoth: if you're from the netherrealm...do you work for quan chi?
you: when i was brain washed yes, now i am reformed and seek redemption
you: do not be afraid, i am kin to ashrah and share her ideologies
syzoth: never thought i would meet so many demons in this life
syzoth: you see what you like? i mean like you- see-
you: demon got your tongue?
you: i find you adorable in both forms, syzoth
syzoth: hey, that's my line!
Shang Tsung
shang tsung: how could I bring harm to such a fine specimen?
you: the same way i'm about to
you: stop flirting with me, sorcerer
shang tsung: not until you consider my offer of ruling the realms by my side
shang tsung: i wouldn't fight me if i were you, i could split your body into eighths
you: tough talk from a man with a silk press
you: you wanna kiss me so bad
shang tsung: kiss, kill, life is all about wonder
Reiko
reiko: you dare poke fun at the ways of an Outworld warrior?
you: uh, you should've seen how you looked shadow boxing at Raiden, I had to laugh
you: come here often?
reiko: wha- you came to my house!
reiko: you just won't quit, will you?
you: there's just something about meatheads that do the trick
you: kiss me, k-k-kiss me, infe-
reiko: it was ONE drunk night!
General Shao
you: just big and greedy
shao: careful, kung lao might overhear you.
shao: ha! you think your puny little self could win against me?
you: you were bested by a farm boy with a sleeper build. nothing about you scares me
you: reiko did not get his looks from his father
shao: soon you won't live long enough to compare!
shao: if i win, you serve as my consort
you: you actually have to have power first to have such imagination
Baraka
baraka: your flesh smells amazing.
you: thanks, new fragrance I made mys- oh you meant as food.
you: so like, does your mouth ever get dry?
baraka: that is the stupidest question i've ever been asked since my affliction
baraka: every day i wake up in aguish.
you: i asked you what time it was...
you: i would ask you to dinner, but you'd run straight for the civilians
baraka: i cannot help what i've become- wait, ask me to dinner?!
Havik
you: what in the actual fu-
havik: continue and you won't be having a mouth either!
havik: why are you looking at me like that?!
you: i'm trying to figure out just how the hell you and baraka pronounce your M's and P's
you: impressive you didn't die from getting a face full of lava
havik: it's probably the only thing liu kang did right!
havik: don't tell me to relax! i lost half my face!
you: hey, you could chill on the whole realm domination and killing a god thing, just saying
--
a/n: this was so hard to write omfg i don't even like half this list😭let me know if y'all want kameo dialogues either in comments or ask box
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hijackalx · 6 months
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GALE SFW HEADCANONS:
finally we got our lover boy here. its not a secret that he like gets super easily attached. i kind of hate that they patched that out bcz it fit his character so much. but yeah in my mind its canon he gets attached suppperrr easily also kind of the type of guy to love bomb tav. not in the manipulative way tho like he genuinely thinks hes in love.
he gives everything he has in relationships too like tav IS his everything. he can be pretty clingy but thats just cuz he loves them so much ❤️ ok yandere vibes hold on. not really but imagine.
the type of dude to draw pictures of him and tav holding hands in his diary (they are not drawn good) also definitely talks to himself a lot, or maybe to his cat (sometimes abt tav)
hands down the funniest mf at camp like hes the type thats just naturally funny he doesnt even try to be. its hard to take him serious sometimes bcz of it😭😭 he gets mad af about it too. like his funnyness is a blight on his existence he just wants to be taken seriously. also feel like he has the worst luck too like fucked up things always happen to him and thats also hilarious LMAO constantly has the camp in stitches
he has bad spatial awareness so hes always triggering traps and tav gets so mad 😹😹😹
love language:
giving= words of affirmation and quality time
always wants to be with tav. also loves to compliment them but he does it in his corny ass wizard way lol like in the most extra way possible. he cant just say "ur eyes look beautiful today" hes got to say some shit like "ur viewing orbs are looking most ravishing this eventide". i bet he would write poetry abt tav but he wouldnt give it to them bcz hes lowkey embarrassed 😔 like insecure in his ability not embarrassed by the action itself. he just wants to do tav justice and he doesnt think he can.
receiving= quality time
as long as tav wants to be with him too hes happy. he worries abt being too clingy so sometimes he'll distance himself and if tav closes that distance on their own itll make him so happy. like thats the best thing ever to him. to have somebody that wants to be in his presence and listen to him ramble.
i feel like gale is similar in height to astarion so like 5'11/6' hes probably closer to 5'11. like that is the most gale height to me. also hes a little thicker with some muscle. hes def got a lil belly 🤭❤️ his pecs are rlly smthng too like thats where most of his muscle goes. those look heavy let me carry them for u king 🤲🏻😼
GALE NSFW HEADCANONS:
A FREAKKKKKK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS MAN IS A FREAK. WHAT was that shit in the sky ?????? THE FUCK ??? like he is THE MOST kinky mf here he will do almost anything. ONLY with ppl hes comfortable with tho. otherwise hes vanilla af. i honestly feel like hes mostly submissive tho just cuz hes chill like that. equally gives and receives. like straight up tav is his BABY he will do ANYTHING for them. probably introduced to most of his kinks thru tav (and mystra....... unfortunately.....)
loves to give head. like dear god. will beg tav to let him for real. hes very good at it too
incorporates sooo much magic. will make fake!gale fuck tav so he can watch. will use hot and cold magic and all that. electricity. the thunder stuff or whatever its called. literally anything u can think of to spice it up. he has thought of it. will also do freaky shit like using magic to mess with tav in public if u know what i mean
doesnt have a high body count i lowkey feel like mystra was his first. and he hasnt smashed anybody since. until tav.
exhibitionist AND humiliation kink. so these work hand in hand bcz like i said he doesnt do kinky shit with ppl hes not comfortable with so doing it where strangers might see is ultimate humiliation for him. but also likes to humiliate tav with it too.
will say a lot of nasty shit. this i feel he doesnt go super overboard with but its nasty compared to how he usually is. mostly when hes begging.
im gonna say gale has a solid 5 on him. and hes got hair i feel like most of the companions do but it works rlly good on gale lol. like hes got a happy trail and everything 🤤 nice hairy armpits too so u know hes got that manly ass MUSKK 💦💦💦 anyway i think his pp is pretty straight. like a wand lol. its a pretty normal pp.
aftercare with gale is the best yo like he makes sure tav is taken care of first and then cleans up on his own unless tav offers which he usually tells them to rest lol. hes just so sweet.
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lovingmayday · 10 months
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STREET RACER! HOBIE BROWN x READER
warnings : illegal street racing, cursing, suggestive – slight nsfw?
notes : im obssessed with racer aus so i thought why not write one with a character im absolutely obssessed with as well
part 1 ☆ part 2
ok so heheehhehehe, street racer hobie is the absolutely coolest and chillest man ever!! idk shit about cars but i watched the fast furious series
imagine him in a dirty tank top and baggy pants with a jumper tied around his tiny waist !!!!!!! you'd just be unabashedly staring at him while he's working on his car.
he slides with his back on his skateboard to view the underside of his car and, from your view, you see his tank rising to show his midriff. you better expect him with a large smirk on his face when he catches you.
street racer hobie probably has an older vintage model. he stripped it from its original engine and built it from top to bottom. he probably stole the lot of them too.
he was already doing something illegal anyway, he reasons.
he also definitely customizes his car like duh. full on spikes on the wheels, grafitti on the doors, stickers on the bumper, everything! he prolly won't mind scratches either and leaves a few of them in view. thinks they're baddass.
street racer hobie can't for the life of him give his car one name. it's got to be different everytime. bessie, marcus, mona, ev, billie jean, annabel, etc.
street racer hobie just doesn't care if anyone plays dirty. you gotta do what you gotta do. but you would be INSANE if you think he wouldn't reciprocate that tenfold. he's an adrenaline junkie and would love the thrill of it.
street racer hobie is pretty friendly and chill to his fellow racers otherwise. he'd hype up his friends a lot.
i wasn't super sure if he would gamble tbh. the money wouldn't going to greedy capitalistic pigs so maybe he would.
street racer hobie wouldn't care if they raised betting prices. if he didn't have the money for it, he'd simply back out. would absolutely never bet you or the pink slip to his car. he can find that kind of thrill somewhere else anyways wink wink.
street racer hobie definitely shows you off. he always brings you to his races. he thinks you are good luck and it works (most of the time), but even if it didn't he'd still bring you to show off how amazing he is
street racer hobie would never tolerate any disrespect directed towards you. he'd run them over w his car if you'd let him.
street racer hobie makes out w you when waiting for races to start. against his car? he doesn't care. inside? he doesn't care. everyone can see you? he doesn't care. he wouldn't care even if he was fucking you on the hood of his car in public. but he would if it bothered you, of course <3 he'd find an alley to park his car in and have you there
speaking of, don't forget to give him his reward after~ whether he won or not, he'd still wait for his consolation prize
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suffarustuffaru · 5 months
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why the emilia camp thinks otto is their most threatening member 👍
i see some people being confused on why the emilia camp collectively seems to agree that otto is the biggest threat there for some reason and like. yeah. i get it.
but let me explain real quick why i think it makes sense for the emilia camp to think that :O !!
otto though is disarming because. well okay look at him he doesnt look threatening at all. he has the looks and personality of a wet cat. hes whiny. hes cringe fail. he gets stressed out with paperwork. he looks like you could just smack him around like a bug. he HAS been smacked around like a bug. but that makes him unpredictable because apart from roswaal, he is the Most Amoral one there. you can expect roswaal to be trying some shit, but youd never know when to expect otto is planning something. his moral compass is just “does this benefit me or my loved ones in some way? if not, then its gonna be gone 🥺”.
sure, he does nice things sometimes out of the goodness of his heart. he genuinely means well a lot of the time.
but also then you read the shit hes thinking in his internal dialogue and its like.
“should i go save some girl i dont even know from bandits??? hmm lemme think for a couple minutes. im the only one that can help rn… some guy claiming to be her dad is begging me to help his daughter, but also hes kind of annoying… but i dont even live in this city so why should i help… or Care. actually. but i feel kinda bad about this girl… but also this is gonna put me and my profits in danger… but if i reject helping then im forever gonna be known as the guy who abandoned them and then i wont be able to make any sales in this city anymore :<<<< ……anyway im gonna help them then lol im so smart.” and then he gets captured by the exact same bandits anyway so hes like “well okay now me and this girl might be sold into slavery so i might as well save both of us or ill feel bad ☝️☝️”
(yes. yes this is genuinely ottos thought process if you read through the Otto's Bittersweet Peddling Log side story.)
except all the back and forth Calculation he does in his head Stays In His Head and doesnt match up with his outward appearance most of the time. which means that sometimes his words dont match up with his actions. “dont be surprised if i leave at the first sign of danger,” he says, right after risking his life and writing a suicide note over a dude hes known for like four days. “ahah thanks for giving me a vacation to see my family…” he says, damn well knowing he cant go back home yet otherwise he’ll get sniped by assassins. “im gonna give you some of my own money bounty money to help you BUT BUT BUT DONT THINK THAT IM NICE OR ANYTHING I NEED MOST OF THE MONEY FOR REPAIRS OK YOU CAN ONLY HAVE A BIT :<<<“
this also means that whenever otto says or does something Particularly Questionable, all his friends are still kinda blindsided by it because otherwise otto seems Mostly Fine in comparison to whatever the hell everyone else has going on. hes just a wet pathetic cat of a guy ahah. theres nothing more going on with h—
“if everyone in vollachia dies but rem and natsuki-san live, then we’ve won. if everyone in vollachia lives but rem and natsuki-san die, then we’ve lost.”
um otto can you repeat that. what the fuck did you just say.
otto looks Mostly Normal, Just Stressed Out or Somewhat Chilling the vast majority of the time, and then he whacks you over the head with a steel chair. like can you imagine being garfiel and learning that this pathetic rag of a man is actually pretty brave when it counts. youre like “oh cool lol we kinda beat each others asses and i was Annoyed but now that thats all over i got some newfound respect for you!!” and then you read through his diary and hes got a suicide note in there, which is like. okay fine whatever hes kind of a clown just like my New Captain lol but hes dedicated to his friends, ill give him that. and then a year later you find your now brother figure (whos also lowkey highkey an alcoholic) with a broken hand after punching a wall because he couldnt do his Lets Abandon 50 Million People Plan and youre just sitting there going
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and okay dont get me wrong—subaru is Batshit Crazy. in Multiple Incomprehensible Ways. if the emilia camp (or Anyone. At All.) knew about all the shit hes done and been through with rbd, subaru would INSTANTLY be skyrocketing up the Most Threatening People list. but at the same time subarus less threatening than otto in the sense that subarus Always going to want to do good. hes Always going to want to save everyone. hes Extremely forgiving, on top of that. he goes along picking up friends everywhere he goes in his own Incomprehensible Unhinged Way and hes fond of All of them.
otto? yeah his opinion of you could shift on a dime and you could end up in his personal shit list unless youre one of the *checks list* *clears throat* maybe like ten people he cares about. and even if youre on the I Care About You! :) list, he could still get pissed enough at you to, i dont know, punch a wall over you? and spiral into obsession? and even if hes not upset at you hes still gonna mansplain manipulate malewife his way to his goals <33
and yeah of course subaru is also Mansplain Manipulate and Gaslight Gatekeep but at least he has way more good intentions AND his attitude about it is gonna be like "sorry :<<< i just gotta do this for your sake :<<<<<< :((( haha dont worry about it". subaru would never ever want to do anything big to hurt his loved ones (except for rbd). while otto doesnt even bat an eye. everyone can be manipulated if he has to. he goes down his list of Things I Need To Do and goes "yeah that had to be done. oh well. anyway i got more shit to do (like maybe kill a toddler lol)"
also lets talk about roswaal's perspective really quick. post-arc 4 hes like "well subaru-kun is always gonna want to save everyone and hes doing a pretty good job of things in general so whatever lol. i can still keep him in check by killing everyone if even one of his friends dies :)". so its like. YEAH subarus an Unhinged Wildcard. roswaal knows that. but right now subaru is more predictable and also again, roswaal knows he can keep subaru in check by making subaru have to reset if roswaal really needs to.
but otto? yeah ottos second in line for being an Unhinged Wildcard. but whats even worse is that otto is Basically Subaru but More Calculating and with a moral backbone thats Near Nonexistent. roswaal was genuinely concerned for otto in arc 8 for once and there was still Literally No Stopping Otto from being a stubborn little shit whos hell bent on all the maladjusted insane mentalities hes got floating around in his head, half of which he doesnt even say out loud, and all of which he thinks is Completely Right and that theres Nothing Wrong with what hes doing.
and also otto being underestimated and Not In The Tome was a big help as to how subaru got the win over roswaal in arc 4 👍and then otto Continues to try keeping an eye on roswaal after arc 4, to the point of getting roswaal's tome and actively trying to investigate roswaal's actions, so roswaal is Very Aware that otto is. a bit of a threat. roswaal of course is smarter and more powerful than otto though, but that still doesnt change the fact that otto is still capable of being a threat if roswaal doesnt Also kind of keep an eye on otto back. because roswaal kind of lost to otto already in arc 4!!
but okay, on top of all of this, no one knows the full extent of whats going on with otto, not even roswaal (though he has his Suspicions), and most definitely not subaru yet (whos Still a bit of an otto apologist anyway), and otto is already a bit menacing even without knowing All of that. and the rest of the emilia camp are already a bit more lenient with roswaal (as hes seemingly chilled out after arc 4 + they all need him still). that, and you can easily Expect roswaal post-arc 4 to be suspicious and Probably up to something. you wont know what it is, but you wont Exactly be surprised when it happens.
and also roswaal isnt publicly batshit crazy like otto is. otto of course isnt as Openly Weird as subaru, but otto is still Openly Unhinged and Pathetic. just look at him declaring julius and anastasia, HIS CAMP'S ALLIES, as enemies right to their faces alsdfjlsdjfl.
and with subaru, there is Zero doubt in the emilia camp's minds that subaru wants the best for them and everyone around them.
otto though? yeah he also wants whats best for the camp. he Cares about them, he really does. but hes so obviously Questionable by the time you get to arc 8 to the point where the entire rest of the camp starts eyeing him like this:
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theres also the fact that ottos dp allows him to have eyes and ears Everywhere so long as he doesnt overuse it. that paired with his Intelligence, Stubbornness, and Lack of Morals or self-awareness/sometimes guilt/regret over his actions is dangerous. theres a reason why gluttony if subaru decided to flood The Entire Surrounding Area Around Otto. the flood took away the potential army otto couldve made out of the animals and allies otto had in the city, and once you do that, whats otto going to do against someone like shaula? all of ottos power regarding his People Skills and Animal DP was stripped away.
but if that Isnt stripped away... well honestly otto can do whatever the hell he wants the moment he figures out a solid plan to try and get what he wants. his biggest ability at the core of what makes him dangerous is his ability to quite Literally be in the background. so long as hes underestimated, so long as he still has secrets, no ones gonna know the full extent of his bullshit!! you cant stop him if you dont even realize what hes going to do, and hes Good at doing that!!
and if gluttonybaru hadnt taken out otto, subaru would be skyrocketing right to the top of ottos shit list after subaru literally just killed All of ottos (and previously subarus.) loved ones. otto wouldnt stop until he figured out how to destroy subaru. its to the point where im pretty sure if otto had to choose between destroying half the world vs kill gluttonybaru once and for all, otto would certainly choose one of those options in a Heartbeat.
anyway. if youre an emilia camp member, and you see the dude whos in charge of the Vast Majority of the factions political affairs, the guy who you Know is very intelligent and competent and determined when it counts, say shit like "if everyone dies in this entire country i wouldnt even give a single flying fuck as long as our friends get back safe and sound :) it would be such a loss if the entire country lived but our friends didnt :<<<" OF COURSE I WOULD BE LIKE YEAH THAT GUY IS THE MOST DANGEROUS ONE HERE. HE HAS THE SKILLS AND THE MOTIVATION TO BACK UP THAT STATEMENT AND I WONT EVEN KNOW WHEN ITD HAPPEN. he also has the Mental Instability to back that up too, given the amount of times he spends drinking and Raging and Being Terribly Anxious over Every Little Thing.
youll be sweating buckets being wary of otto while ottos casually standing there with his wet cat looks and a knife in your back.
and otto has, for the most part, some of the most normal trauma compared to a bunch of people in this cast (not to discount ottos trauma and pain or anything but its true lajdsfls sorry otto. but also im not sorry because arc 5 was partially on you T^T). he doesnt have rbd, he doesnt have some weird family drama bullshit going on like the astreas or emilias family or the segmunts, he hasnt been erased by gluttony, etc etc. but hes still like this. if you put him in subarus position and gave him rbd, he would get even worse than he already is.
yeah so anyway thats my quick rambley psa about why i think it makes sense that the emilia camp's voted otto as the most threatening one there 👍
but the fact that we (the audience) (or at least some of us!!) keep questioning why the hell the emilia camp thinks otto is the biggest threat there is means that otto's funny silly guy image is. Kind of Working??? just a little bit.
because. granted. of course i think subaru is easily the most threatening person there with both His Flavor of Insanity and rbd. subaru is an eldritch horror in every single way. but at the same time - hes an eldritch horror who thinks friendship is the best magic of all T^TT !!! he FORGIVES PEOPLE WHO'VE KILLED AND TORTURED HIM. hes not threatening in this sense - the fact that hes kind of just way too nice in this sense!!! granted yes, he IS abusing rbd and Terrifying and Threatening in a multitude of ways, but i'd rather take my chances with mainbaru over main otto right now HAH T^TT at least subaru will apologize and start bawling his eyes out if he stabs some random innocent civilian and stranger in the gut for Some Necessary Reason!! otto would feel a bit bad and then completely Eradicate that feeling of guilt with "i had to do it. it was them or me so no regrets <3".
because otto..................... yeah otto is the Worlds Most Pathetic Yandere to his whole camp.
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vampynights · 9 months
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:D HIHIIII i'm back w another ryan rq LOLL can u write any sort of hcs about cuddling or physical affection w him please ^_^ !!!!!!! sorry if this is too vague, just lmk if it is!!!! 💘 (:
✰a/n: HELLO AGAIN ANON!! wonderful to hear from u and get another request!! I completely understand what you want, and since you so politely asked, you shall receive! this is so random but the song i had on repeat while writing this was ‘kiss me’ by sixpence none the richer and i feel like it really just adds to the overall vibe so i highly suggest listening while reading !!! hope you enjoy and have a wonderful day<33
✰RYAN ROSS — physical affection with ryan headcanons 
✰warnings: none tbh!! just pure fluff
(i love this gif sm.)
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–ryan is definitely a lot more reserved when it comes to physical affection in the beginning of your relationship
–he’s pretty reserved overall tbh at first, it takes a bit to get him out of his shell
–in the beginning you’d probably have to initiate somethings or hint to him that you’d like to do certain things
–for example, if you wanted him to grab your hand you’d probably have to do that cliche ‘putting your hand super close to him till your pinky’s are touching’ thing to make him notice
–this is probably weird and stupid but i feel like he has like sweaty palms LOL (i do too, i understand the pain.)
–like, you hold his hand for too long and all of a sudden it’s like holding hands with someone who’s sprinkled a shit ton of water onto their hands
–he gets super embarrassed abt it too and you kinda just have to laugh it off and like tell him it’s okay without making a big deal out of it either…?
–once he gets into the habit though his hands are like ALWAYS on yours. 
–underneath tables, while you two are walking, if you’re sitting next to each other, when i saw always I MEAN ALWAYS 
–now moving on from the hand holding, cuddling is a little easier for him to get used to, funnily enough
–his excuse is probably that cuddling is done mostly in private meanwhile hand holding is public a lot of the time and he gets kinda shy
–he is like the perfect mix of little spoon and big spoon
–like he really does not mind being either tbh, he’ll only have a preference if he’s in a REALLY bad mood (in which case he’ll probably wanna be little spoon) but generally, he doesn’t care, as long as he’s holding you he’s chill.
–he’s got a fucking GRIP
–cuddling with him is like signing away your life tbh, once you go into his arms he will not let you out for almost ANYTHING
–this mf definitely is the type to hug you from behind when you’re doing literally anything 
–don’t cook in front of him unless you want your mobility to be restricted because he won’t let go of you
–ok im sorry for saying this but hear me out ok, he’s a “where’s my hug at?” guy
–BUT NOT IN THE WEIRD WAY I MUST EMPHASIZE 
–if you come home the first thing he does is playfully ask you “where’s my hug at?” and opens his arm wide
–when you guys are cuddling on the couch he loves to have your legs over his lap and your head on his shoulder
–if you guys are in public however it’s a little harder to get him to cuddle
–the best you’ll get is him wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you close, but he wouldn’t have you on his lap or anything 
–he’s so clingy when he’s drunk
–he comes homes after drinking and the first thing he is doing is latching onto you (keep an eye on him at all times or he might vomit on you. gross.) 
–if you wear his favorite perfume he will purposefully cuddle you A LOT just to smell it
–like you’ll be chilling with him and then literally feel AND hear him sniffing and you’re just like 
–”did you just sniff me?”
–”no?”
–he gaslights you about it cause he get’s embarrassed but you both know the truth
–in summary, he’s clingy as shit and wants to hold you more than anything in the world but also chill out in public otherwise he’ll die 
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