#but i just don't have it in me to do any spiritual reflection beforehand and i feel disappointed in myself bc of that

[honeysuckle-venom]

I've had a lot going on lately, psychologically, and I haven't been posting about 90% of it. I haven't been able to, I haven't had the words most of the time. I still don't. The last four days or so have been spent in a psychotic episode of astonishing intensity, one that feels more like our first break when we were 15 than almost anything since then. The whole summer has been very difficult, lots of trauma stuff and system stuff and psychosis stuff I thought I had put to rest coming up but coming up...differently, like the first time all over again instead of echoes? Idk how to explain it, my therapist had all sorts of good words for it in our session today but I was so psychotic I was only processing like 60% of what she was saying and I remember even less. I do know she said encouraging things about how every schizophrenic patient she's worked with has gone through this same process of temporarily getting much much better and tasting health for the first time and then having a significant recurrence of symptoms, and something about how the experience often mimics the first break/is like having the first break again for reasons I was too out of it to understand today but that are part of the healing process. So that was very comforting to hear, because my symptoms this weekend were honestly sort of terrifying.

But anyway. None of that was meant to be the original point of this post. I wanted to talk about how spiritually unprepared I feel for The High Holy Days. I mean, I always feel unprepared, I think everyone does, you're basically supposed to. If I'm remembering right that's even one of the phrases you say. But this year I have done less prep than any time in the last 5+ years. I just haven't been able to. I did manage to set aside one therapy session a few weeks ago to discuss my New Year's resolutions from last year and to what extent I've managed to stick to them, and to decide what ones I'm making this year, which is something really important that I do every year. I take my Rosh Hashanah resolutions very seriously and it's generally a real turning point in the year for me, they aren't the kind of casual resolutions a lot of people make in January like "I'm going to exercise," they tend to be significant decisions about how to live my life and treat myself and those around me. But besides that one therapy session and a tiny bit of contemplation on my own I haven't even tried to do the kind of spiritual inventory or teshuvah that I usually shoot for. And I'm trying to be okay with that. I spent this whole summer really struggling and the last few days psychotic and catatonic; I think Hashem understands that my priority has been to stay alive and that's pretty much all I've had the ability to do. But I'm still pretty much in survival mode and it sucks to be there just a few days before Rosh Hashanah. It's my favorite holiday and I haven't been able to think about it pretty much at all. I have plans to celebrate with friends both Friday and Sunday and intend to go to services Friday and Saturday, but I'm nervous that I won't be well enough for some or all of that. We'll see when we get there, I suppose. It's just a really bad feeling to know my favorite holiday is coming and normally I do a lot of internal and external work to prepare for it and I've done basically none of it and don't even feel that special "Rosh Hashanah is coming" feeling because I'm too busy being crazy. It just feels really sad and disappointing.

#text post #my post #idk my grandma's Rosh Hashanah care package arrived today #and instead of being excited i'm too crazy to even eat any of it bc food paranoia #and it's just...it's frustrating to be in this mental place when i want to be excited about the new year and stuff #and i'm nervous i won't be doing better by friday #i'm really hoping that like once it actually arrives and i eat some apples and honey and go to synagogue it'll help me feel better #but i just don't have it in me to do any spiritual reflection beforehand and i feel disappointed in myself bc of that #and i'm trying not to stress about it bc literally one of my resolutions for the past two years is being more gentle with myself #but it's just hard #jewish tag #elul tag

[lokischaoticbitchwitch]

Beginner Tarot Tips

Tarot is a tool for YOUR intuition - I don’t know why, but this really didn’t resonate with me right away. I would second guess, re-read, and not use my intuition when interpreting the cards. In the end that cause some really inaccurate readings then if I would have just used tarot as a tool to grow my own intuition and spiritual feeling.

Don’t stress read - I know I know we all do it. Madly shuffle the cards then start pulling whenever things start to go array. Let me be the first to tell you that is not an accurate reading. That is just you stressing out pulling cards in a fury that will only lead to more stress.

Take time to meditate and clear your mind beforehand - Don’t come into a reading with a cloudy head. If you really want to get a good read, spend a few minutes clearing your mind before you shuffle your deck.

Meditate with cards you feel drawn towards - Do you really vibe with the High Priestess? Or maybe it’s The Hermit for you. These cards could be your archetype. Pull them out, meditate, feel their answers and seek guidance from them.

Take breaks from reading - I am a huge advocate from taking a break from tarot. Sometimes you need to change it up, put it down or just step away for a few days or a year. Whatever it is take time away if and whenever you feel the need to.

Use tarot as a tool for manifesting - Ask questions, lots and lots of questions about different outcomes. If you don’t like the outcome, change your question or change your mind and ask again. Once you get the desired results stick to it.

Confidence is key - This also took me a long time to ‘get’. Read with confidence. You are a badass witch. You have stepped outside to do so much spiritual growth, why would your card reading reflect any different?

Your tarot reading is not the end all be all - Tarot is subjective, not prophecy. So change your mind and change your future. Nothing is set in stone.

Words from my friend Moon (she put into words what I was trying to say)

Tarot and Oracle are the most commonly used. Tarot is more straightforward with its answers while oracle is more emotions. Whether you're drawn to a deck (because art, energy, or deity) or you don't feel a connection at all you can still get readings from it. No reason to hold back. If you feel the need to collect tarot or oracle decks do so. Doing a reading with any of them can be based on the energy of the deck, the person you're doing the reading for. Because you can feel absolutely nothing for a tarot deck, done an interview with it, didn't do an interview with it, never usef it in your life, and then someone walk in and that deck have something to say. You can also be obsessed with a deck, but it won't work with you. You can have a deck that's your main deck, but there be spreads or questions it doesn't want to do. For Moon this is doing a romance reading. The deck just won't do it.

Another thing to look at when wanting to collect multiple decks is how you do a reading. Are you the type that likes to shuffle until cards pop out? Or do you shuffle it multiple times and set it down to pick off the top? Or cut it half and take from the middle? You have to figure out your route to all of this. There are no 2 tarot/oracle card readers that are the same. We are all different. We all do it differently. Saying you have to do it my way hinders the person trying to learn.You're going to buy a deck you're obsessed with. Because of the art, the creator, the mindset. But you may not actually ever use that deck. It's a show piece. A YOU piece.

You also need to consider the size of the cards or the quality of the card stock. A lot of people don't look at that and they buy the deck and they're like "I can't shuffle this the way I do". A lot of the card stock is really flimsy. This makes it difficult to get a great reading because the cards are really bending and flying everywhere or you're getting 50 cards. That's not a reading. That's the card stock.Or if the cards are really small, like playing cards and its hard for your hands to shuffle well with that size card for a tarot reading. It's going to be difficult. Or if they're really big. Bigger than the standard size tarot deck you're going to have to change how you shuffle. So it's not just the energy. Don't get me wrong, the energy of a tarot deck is super important. But just because you're super drawn to a deck online doesn't mean that when you get your hands on it that it will work for you. There are so many different variations to cards. There's different sizes, card stock, and even shapes. There's heart shaped, circle shaped. People think it's creative, but those can be really hard to shuffle. The mini deck that's like an inch and a half. Forget it. 78 of those. Give me a break. That's another thing. There are oracle decks that have less cards, but still get the point across. So instead of shuffling a deck that's 78 cards and trying to learn and get the meaning of all those cards, because you have to remember there's the standard explanation for tarot decks and then reversed. Then you have to figure out if that deck allows for a reversed reading or if they've changed the meaning behind it. Where as each oracle deck is totally different. There is no comparison.

So if you're looking for something specific like a romance reading, or an ancestral reading, or a rune reading, or an ogham reading, or a Viking reading, or Norse reading. It doesn't matter. Oracle is a much more varied option. But it's all personal preference. That's the biggest thing about tarot. It's all personal preference. It's all what you're connected to. Even if you don't feel connected don't get rid of a deck. Because you might do a reading for someone who needs the message from the deck you don't connect to.

Words from my friend Cass

The way I view it: decks are like people. Some people we interact with because we genuinely like them, some we interact with because they help us to get things done, some we interact with because we HAVE to. And just like with people, some decks refuse to have “conversations” about certain topics.

#norse pagan #norse pagan witch #tarot tips #tarot cards #tarot lessons

[notrixxtarot]

Spiritual Protection Types, and Why We Need It So Much

Unless you are new, you have probably endured many witches and practitioners emphasize the importance of mastering protection. It is a lot like carrying a self-defense tool, you are preventing something from happening before it happens to you in your most vulnerable state.

DISCLAIMER: This is based mostly on my personal experiences and own research as a practicing witch. Everyone has their own methods, you do not need to agree with me.

If you would like to support my endeavors, check out my profile! I had to retype this 3 times because I didn't save and would appreciate support

What is Spiritual Protection?

Spiritual protection takes several forms. It can be a crystal in your pocket, a jar, a sigil, a sign from a tarot card, a talisman, a ward, a bind, etc.

Basically, spiritual protection is ANYTHING meant to protect you, your loved ones, your sacred spaces, or living spaces.

First and foremost, we must discuss different categories of protection.

Prevention

Not giving room for the energy to enter to begin with. Some of us know the shock of interacting with a negative energy all too well, and in my experience, any negative energy makes it stronger. This makes an influx of positive energy so much more important and valuable

I see us and spaces all as having a limited capacity for energy, just like we have a limited capacity for anything. If there is too much positive energy, there will be no room for the negative energy to enter, let alone negative energy for them to fuel themselves.

Purification

Getting rid of the bad/boring/used energy that no longer serves us is purification. Some of us will practice purification by smoke cleansing, which is my personal favorite. Others will use baths, or protective oils to purify their energy. Energy that has stuck around too long feels like monotony to me, and when I feel monotony, I always cleanse.

Defense

There are a couple of different ways you are able to defensively protect yourself from negative energy. Warding is my preferred method, so we will discuss that first.

A ward can be a metaphorical wall, or an energy sponge, regardless of how you use it, it keeps everything you don't want out. Wards have to be scripted or programmed beforehand, in my experience. The more detail/work you put into them, the stronger they get. You can make them like Jell-O, or like concrete. They can allow any energy, no energy, or only certain energies to enter. The bounds to wards are endless, the only downside is trying to figure out when to charge them. (I recommend using the sun or moon to charge them, using yourself later on, charging them once a week). A more in depth post on wards is coming later.

Setting boundaries is another way to defend yourself, they allow us control in our relationships and interactions. They are exactly the type of boundaries you are thinking of, physical and mental (or psychic) boundaries. Developing strong boundaries is crucial to most relationships, not allowing toxicity to interfere with the beautiful relationship you have. Physical boundaries may be a salt line or circle, while mental may be shielding or cleansing.

Offense

I don't recommend beginners to start by working with offensive protection, unless absolutely necessary. I do not use offensive protection unless I genuinely feel that I am in harm's way.

This is a type of protection that will hunt the perpetrator down, regardless of whether or not it is a known energy or being. Sometimes simply casting chaos into the world is enough for the energy to leave you alone for a while, but other times, it is to keep the energy at bay. Hexes are considered offensive protection by some (me included).

Deflection

This is simply reflecting the energy sent onto you back onto the source, the most simple "no you don't" in witch history. Most commonly, deflection is done through Return To Sender workings, and when the energy or being is returned it is stuck to them.

Some witches can sense when negative energy is on their way to them, others find out through readings. Mirror Boxes are great for deflecting, along with sigils or witch balls.

Divine or Spiritual Protection

Calling upon protective deities, guardians, familiars, etc. to protect a person or space can be done through regular offerings to them. The offerings signify you still need their assistance, but this can very from being to being. All different beings can be pinned against each other in the name of protection, just ensure that they are stronger than whatever energy is trying to harm you. Many will set up altars or spirit houses as a way to visualize the agreement to work with the beings, making it special to the energy.

Thank you for reading my post until the end, and I hope it helps someone who needs it.

I used my own experiences and this link to learn about all of the different types.

#spiritual protection #protection #wards #banishing #banish #sigil #binding #binding spells #witch tips #witch #lgbtq witch #witchblog #beginner witch #witchcraft #witchblr #writing #spellwork #protective magic #cleansing #smoke cleansing #sound cleansing #magick #wicca #baby witch #baby witch tips #baby witch advice #witch help #everyday witch #witches #witch community

[apenitentialprayer]

Hi! I feel i need some advice and i dont know who to turn to... I just moved to another town and looking to find a church and comunity. Now - i am protestant... But i really just dont feel in tune With theprotestant mass. I dont lile the Was its bring Held, i dont like the politicising, theres just so much that really Bugs Me about it. It makes me skip sundays and feel quite lonely and sad. I asked myself if i could try to go to the catholic church in town instead - But im very nervous and i dont know if i would be welcomed or What would be Different. I dont want to be the odd one out or bother anyone. Its a very close comunity from What ive gathered and i just dont know... Do you think IT would be right and okay to Check It out? I just want to feel closer to god again and right Now all i feel at mass is alianated. I tried staying at home and just pray and read on sunday mornings - But i really truly miss a good mass

Hey! Sorry for taking so long for me to get to this - I had people over after Mass today.

So, I can't really talk about your specific community, but the Mass is open to everyone; you don't have to be Catholic to attend, though as a non-Catholic you would have to refrain from taking Communion. That being said, if this community does feel very tight-knit and that makes it daunting, you could try contacting the priest through the rectory and introduce yourself beforehand.

Most parishes will have some kind of missal in the pews so that you can follow along; Catholic worship is 'high-church' in style, a liturgical kind of worship that is very formulaic and repetitive. The missal will give you the readings for each Sunday, and you can kind of mumble along with the other congregants during the responses - or, if that makes you uncomfortable, silently spectate at first. Because there is that element of repetition, if you go to Catholic Masses long enough you'll be able to pick up on the responses eventually - though each response is usually in the missal as well, often in the beginning or the end, depending.

I should warn you, though, that the problems that you're experiencing could very well exist in the Catholic parish by you, too. The Catholic section of the internet is filled with complaints and opinions about how parishes practice the liturgy, and individual priests with strong opinions may share them - I have a general idea of the political views of the priests in the parishes I attend, and they run the gamut of the political spectrum.

But that kind of leads to the other thing that I want to gently suggest; since these problems may exist in any Christian community, I think it might be more fruitful to pick a community whose ideas you believe most closely reflect the will of God, and try to make roots for yourself there. Even if you're not always satisfied with how that community handles public worship, you can try to be the change you're looking for, talking to the pastor about what is bothering you; and if public worship is still unsatisfactory for you spiritually, you can always supplement it with private devotion that you do find helpful.

I will be praying for you, that you are able to find a church home soon; I'll ask the Holy Spirit to guide you to where you can grow in your faith best, and to give you a sense of peace wherever that might be, with all the pros and cons that this place may have. If you have any specific questions about Catholic public worship, or about anything really, feel free to ask.

#asks #Christianity #Catholicism

[vajranam]

Milarepa Birthday

༄༅། །རྗེ་བཙུན་མི་ལ་རས་པ་ལ་བསྟོད་པ།

Homage to Milarepa

by Nāropa

 བྱང་ཕྱོགས་མུན་པའི་སྨག་རུམ་ན། །

jangchok münpé makrum na

In the darkness of the lands to the North

གངས་ལ་ཉི་མ་ཤར་འདྲ་བའི། །

gang la nyima shar drawé

Is one just like a snow-capped peak in the rising sun,

ཐོས་པ་དགའ་ཞེས་བྱ་བ་ཡི། །

töpa ga shyé jawa yi

He who is known as Töpa Ga, 'Joyous to Hear,'

སྐྱེས་བུ་དེ་ལ་ཕྱག་འཚལ་ལོ། །

kyebu dé la chaktsal lo

To that great being, I pay homage!

 Nāropa spontaneously sang this praise to Milarepa.

Very special day today for me not just the day of the birthday of the greatest lama of the kagyu, I am heavy related to him. In my dark time I was praying to bring my lama and found Garchen Rinpoche. In my light moments is always part of my yogi practice I don't start my practice without singing something for Mila.

Milarepa learn us that affairs of the world carries forever we must let go of them and everything that hold us practice Dharma.

He learn us that samsara is like rose that smell very good but we got many torns on it, his life when he pass from very ritch to become a slave for his uncle and aunt. Help by his mother he became highly skilled soccer and kill peoples because he suffered and his family suffered from them.

To his seek of dharma his devotion to Marpa even if he suffered from years to just receive refuges vows.

The world knows caterpillar becomes butterfly but they don’t care that it also becomes a moth. One is diurnal another nocturnal.Human once awakened can change the view to change self from Angulimala to a Buddha

Milarepa, The Hundred Thousand Songs of Milarepa

Today we complain that we must do ngandro and preliminaries practice to get there but we forgot that Milarepa as to build towers and destroying them to rebuild them again was his ngandro. When after years we reach the Tantric and that yes the new start of the path we must remember his teaching we don’t know when time of death come there for we must hurry and practice no matter what.

When ye look at me I am an idle, idle man; when I look at myself I am a busy, busy man. Since upon the plain of uncreated infinity I am building, building the tower of ecstasy, I have no time for building houses. Since upon the steppe of the void of truth I am breaking, breaking the savage fetter of suffering, I have no time for ploughing family land. Since at the bourn of unity ineffable I am subduing, subduing the demon-foe of self, I have no time for subduing angry foe-men. Since in the palace of mind which transcends duality I am waiting, waiting for spiritual experience as my bride, I have no time for setting up house. Since in the circle of the Buddhas of my body I am fostering, fostering the child of wisdom, I have no time for fostering snivelling children. Since in the frame of the body, the seat of all delight, I am saving, saving precious instruction and reflection, I have no time for saving wordly wealth.

Milarepa, Songs of Milarepa

Milarepa teach us also that without bodhichitta we don’t go no where, that we must meditate years and years without given up.

Renouncing to this world take the lowest place to gain the highest one.

One day, Milarepa was staying in a cave, alone. Two visitors arrived and began to question him.

“Are you all alone?” “Aren’t you lonely?”

“I have always lived with someone. Never alone,” he replied.

“But who?” asked the younger one.

“With my bodhichitta.”

“Where is he?”

“In the house of my consciousness.”

“What kind of house is that?” the older guest enquired.

“It is my own body.”

The man thought Milarepa was mocking. He said to his young companion, “Let us leave, this is a waste of our time – he’s just being sarcastic.” The young man answered, “No, maybe we can learn something here.” He turned again to Milarepa.

“Would you say the consciousness is the mind and the body the house?”

“Yes, that is exactly what I mean,” Milarepa replied.

“In an ordinary house, many can stay – but how many different minds can stay in a body?”

“Generally, only one mind. But tonight, look for more in your own body in your meditation,” said Milarepa. The visitors agreed, and departed for home. The younger of the two meditated that night and ran back early the next day to see Milarepa.

“Oh Guru! Last night I meditated and, as you say, it is one mind. But there is something strange about it…. I cannot describe the shape, or color, or anything of this mind. If I run after it, I cannot catch it. If I want to kill it, it will not die. The faster I run, the faster it runs. It is impossible to find. When I imagine I have caught it, I cannot step on it. If I attempt to keep it in one place, it does not stay. If I let go, it will not move. If I try to gather it together, it will not collect. If I try to see its nature, it refuses to be seen. So, I am confused about what it is. I do not know its nature, but I cannot deny it is there. Please, give me an introduction to mind.”

“Do not expect me to taste sugar for you!” Milarepa said. “The taste of brown sugar cannot be seen by eyes, nor heard by ears. You must meditate and find it for yourself. Remember, the mind is not as someone describes it. These are just superficial clues. The mind can never be described. With clues received from others, just observe it for yourself. It can be seen only by your own awareness.” The young man requested more teachings.

“That is useless, Milarepa said. “Go home, and come back tomorrow and report the color and shape of your mind, and whether it resides in your head or in the tip of your toes.” The following dawn the young man came back again.

“Have you examined your mind?” Milarepa asked.

“Yes I have.” The youth reflected, thoughtfully. “Mind is a moving thing – its nature is movement. Its basic entity is a very clear and transparent one. Mind cannot be described by any color or shape – recognition of mind by means of color or shape is impossible. By using sensory doors, such as eyes, the mind sees forms. Through sensory doors, such as ears, the mind hears sounds. By means of sensory doors, such as nose, the mind smells odors. With the tongue, the mind tastes. Using the legs, the mind walks. It is the mind that stirs up everything. The mind that gossips. The mind that causes disagreements. The mind that brings about results.”

“You have been able to observe the conventional aspect of the mind,” Milarepa told him. “Through this conventional mind, we accumulate negative potential and thus we wander through samsara. You have sufficiently understood the conventional mind. Now, with this realization, if you wish me to lead you to the City of Liberation, then I will.”

So the disciple accepted Milarepa as his Guru. Many days later, Milarepa asked him his name. His name was Upasaka Sanggyay-kyab, just sixteen years old. Then Milarepa gave his new disciple his first teaching on safe direction (refuge).

“From tonight onward, never break your close bond of taking safe direction from the Three Precious Gems. Tonight, meditate on observing whether it is the mind that protects and is helpful to you, or whether it is the body.” The next day, the disciple reported that it did not seem to be the body.

Milarepa was skilfully guiding him into meditation on voidness and identitylessness, but without ever mentioning voidness, or making a big thing out of it. To tell his disciple, only after doing this meditation and gaining experience, that this was voidness, and not beforehand, is an effective method. By being asked whether it is the body or the mind that protects, a person is compelled to examine deeply. Someone can feel well physically, but mentally they can be confused and upset. It is the mind that gives protection in this and future lives.

These, then, are the different ways in which Milarepa taught and led people, through meditation on identitylessness, to the true nature of the mind.

#wisdom #spirituality #mindfulness #meditation #religion #buddhism #self care #zen #visualization #tibet

[fratresdei]

I saw your post about offering spiritual help and I decided to give it a go! I grew up Catholic but never felt connected to that community or theology. Now I'm attending college across the country and feeling lost. I need to find a way to explore spirituality and my personal connection to a higher power, but I don't know where to begin. More importantly, I want to find a spiritual community, but I have no idea where to start when I don't even know what I believe in! What do you recommend?

Hi there @trianglesolo , thank you so much for reaching out! Feeling lost is never fun, but let me just say, what a beautiful, courageous decision you’re making here. Starting a spiritual practice from scratch! Digging into the sacred and the unknown! The process can certainly feel daunting, but I want you to know that it can also open up so many new opportunities for creativity, adventure, and personal joy.

To start, try looking around for the things in your life that soothe your spirit, no matter how “ordinary” or non-spiritual they may seem. It could be as simple as laughing with friends, cooking a meal, or a creative project of some kind. Start small. Activities that leave us feeling calm, connected, and fulfilled can often tell us a lot about what our spirits crave. Chances are, you are already making space in your life for things that feel sacred to you.

Take your time with this part. Reflect on the common elements here. Do you gravitate towards spaces that involve a strong community? Lots of quiet time to reflect? Using tangible ingredients to craft something new? Physical movement?

Part of Fratres Dei bodywork sessions focus on discerning what your foundational beliefs are, no matter how vague or basic. Bodywork is a great way to listen to every part of your being, so that things like conditioning from religious upbringing or thoughts of what you “should” believe rather than what you actually believe don’t clutter the process.

Then there’s the fun part: trying things out! It could be a YouTube yoga class, a meditation podcast, a virtual church service, whatever strikes your fancy. Trust yourself. If a space doesn’t feel quite right to you, it’s completely ok to move on to something else. Even if you’d rather just sit back and read up on practices that interest you for a while, that’s still engaging with the sacred! You’re doing exactly what you’ve set out to do.

Here are a few more tips for the search:

Talk to people. Lots and lots of people. Talk to people who left a religion you’re interested in and ones who stayed, and don’t be afraid to reach out to religious leaders. Most of the time they’re much more approachable than you think, and they would love to just chat and hear more about you, with no judgement or agenda. You can make amazing spiritual friends this way, no matter what religion you end up choosing.

Check out the sacred texts. Find an entry point into the scriptures, songs, prayers, or oral traditions that represent the religion you’re interested in. Enjoy them, study them, wrestle with them, and ask practitioners about them. They can show a lot about what you connect with and what you admire.

Trust your gut. If a worship space makes you feel weird, or a religious leader pushes your boundaries or makes you feel small and confused, get right out of there. Religion can be an amazing, healing, empowering part of human experience, but it can also draw creeps and abusers. Protect yourself and your light, and trust your body to tell you when something isn’t right.

Interact with Deit(ies). This may take the form of prayer, offering, meditation, scripture reading, singing, volunteering, rituals, or any other number of active practices. When you commit to a religion, you’re committing to its Deity (if it has one), so be sure to meet Them and talk to Them and spend time in Their presence (maybe even just by spending time in a space dedicated to Them). ​Just be sure you’re doing this in a respectful, safe way.​ Talk to lots of practitioners beforehand to ensure that you’re approaching it in a smart way and not making any promises or vows that you don’t intend to keep.

I’m tossing out a lot of options here, but only because this is such a broad topic! If you already have a direction or two in mind, or would like to chat about even more options (heaves a huge pile of books onto the table) it would be my sincere pleasure. In the meantime, best of luck!

#spiritual direction #spirituality #religion #meditation #christianity #spiritual director #yoga #exvangelical #spiritual but not religious #ecstatic dance #catholicism #deity worship #sacred space #sacred music #bodywork #body mind soul #spirtuality #faith community #spiritual community #religious leaders

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

I've been thinking lately, my parents are extremely against divorce. They weren't very approving of my 3rd cousin's divorce from her (now ex) husband DESPITE that he was abusive to her. I heard that he threatened her with a gun or something a long those lines (he was a police officer from another country). My parents then told me and my brother to choose spouses carefully in the future. I thought that abusive relationships don't immediately start that way. (Part 1)

That combined with knowing friends that have been abusive relationships gives me a sour taste in my mouth about marriage and romantic relationships that I could have in my lifetime. I love seeing people happy with their partner, but I doubt that I’ll ever get that myself. I’m scared that something could go wrong. (Being treated as a thing to ship with others doesn’t help this.) And if I get married in the future than divorce, people would hate me. I just to see your take on the problem. (Part 2)

Hey there! I’m so sorry that happened to your 3rd cousin. You are absolutely right that a lot of times the warning signs of abuse do not come until after one is married, or if beforehand we aren’t taught as a society how to notice those signs. And even for someone who “should” have noticed the warning signs, there should never be a moment where it’s “too late” to escape a violent present for a safer, brighter future.

No one should feel compelled to stay somewhere that endangers them, be that physically, spiritually, mentally, etc. Any faith group, any institution that tells people to stay in abusive marriages is causing real, unjust harm to vulnerable persons – and that is the sin. Forcing people to endure violence and claiming that that’s what the God of love and healing wants is unjust and sinful – leaving a violent relationship is not. 

Divorce should absolutely be accepted among faith communities, because of the bad fruits that come from forcing people to stay in a marriage that is abusive, unhealthy, or simply not working out. 

I appreciate the work that Catholic nun Margaret Farley did in her book Just Love on the topic of ethics in sexual/romantic relationships. Farley’s seven points for a relationship in which sex is “just” (i.e., it gives to each person their due, and everyone’s autonomy and relationality is respected):

Do no unjust harm

Free consent of partners

Mutuality

Equality

Commitment

Fruitfulness

Social justice

(I go into a little more detail about the meaning of some of these points in this post.)

A relationship in which abuse is occurring lacks all of these points. The first five are probably obvious as to how abuse breaks them; as to fruitfulness and social justice, a relationship between two (or I’d add, several) people should bear fruit that the relationship’s members can then reflect outward towards a larger community. A person suffering abuse is isolated by the abuser and too trapped in their own fear to do that sort of outward work.

As to arguments I hear about how the person should stay in the relationship so they can “fix it” – no. Churches are so often guilty of this: telling the person they “just need to pray harder,” just need to “submit and obey,” and so on. But studies show that the person suffering abuse is never the one to stop the violence, no matter what methods they try – only the abuser can do that. Telling the sufferer that it’s their job to stop the abuse is victim blaming; it’s going to fill them with shame and guilt and trap them in a prison of violence with no one to turn to for help. Churches need to empower victims, to help get them somewhere safe – not trap them. 

I had to read several chapters from a book called Telling the Truth: Preaching about Sexual and Domestic Violence (available in full for free at that link!), and I found it invaluable. If you’re looking for more on “what the Bible says” about this subject, that’s the book I recommend. 

I also argue, based on Farley’s seven points above, that divorce should be permitted and accepted by faith communities in all situations, not only in situations involving abuse. If a relationship lacks one or more of the above seven points, and work to remedy that hasn’t been successful – it’s time to move on. By all means, seek counseling, pray about it, learn new communication strategies….but sometimes a relationship has run its course, and it’s time to move on. That’s okay.

To close, Jesus said he came so that we might have life, and have it abundantly (John 10:10). There is no way he would stand for abuse. I pray that your third cousin is able to find support, and hope, and security – that is what God wants for her and for us all. 

#divorce #missnekonyan #queerly christian asks #abuse

[thepaganstudygrouppage]

How do you folks feel about the DNA tests you can do online to find out about your ancestry and such? I don't have a lot of information and was hoping to find ancestors and that kind of stuff to connect with my path. thank you!

I have a lot of feelings, actually, so bear with me.  :)

There’s a lot of value to be found in these DNA tests, including the possibility of discovering certain inherited diseases and conditions that can lead to better informed healthcare for yourself and potential children.  Socially, these DNA services can normalize phenotypal differences (”Oh hey, 43% of people have this same weird thing that I do!”) and give an individual a sense of lineage, which can be emotionally and spiritually so profound.  Yay!

There are a few risks, however: namely, confusing genetics with culture.  Having ancestry doesn’t give you a “right” to the current living culture of a group, e.g. having Cherokee ancestry doesn’t automatically “make you a Cherokee,” and this kind of confusion can result in well-meaning people stumbling into closed/initiatory religions and mucking things up if they don’t take the time to stop, talk, and listen about it.  (It’s more common than you think, unfortunately.)  At the same time, discovering that you don’t have the ancestry you thought you did doesn’t mean that you aren’t part of the culture in which you were raised and/or initiated, but it can still feel like an invalidation.  It can also unintentionally make someone who’s just starting out on a polytheistic path feel obligated to stick with just a few possible culturally-specific paths when there are so many more available. To give an actual example I encountered once: “I’m drawn to Heathenry, but because I’m Scottish and everyone wants to be of ‘Celtic blood’ I feel like I can’t be anything but a Gaelic polytheist even though I don’t feel any particular interest in it.”

Consider how different potential results might impact your practices, especially if - surprise! - they’re not what you expected.  As far as I know I’m just a mutt that’s overwhelmingly Irish and German, like most white-identified Americans, and I’m an Irish polytheist who’s lived in Ireland, visited several times, and feels a strong ancestral connection to that land.  But I also happen to have some physical features that have inspired people to ask if I’m of other ethnic descent (including US Customs officials, and in sometimes frankly racist ways).  When I thought I’d be getting one of these ancestry tests I had to seriously sit and consider how different possible outcomes would impact me spiritually.  What if it turns out that I’m Irish only in surname and not blood - would that invalidate the personal identity that was inculcated in me by an Irish American family and seriously reshaped by actually living in that land?  (Objectively, no, but it’s hard to break away from the social importance put on blood, not to mention potential revelations about the kinds of things your parents were doing around the time you were conceived.)  How much would I end up questioning my practice, and if it would really change so much, how much of my practice is based on what I expect rather than what it is?

(Side note: just to be clear, this isn’t to say that you have to be white to be Irish or Irish American, because you certainly don’t.  My particular family situation makes it possible that I can inherit an Irish surname but have no Irish genetic ancestry, so that’s the only reason I’m using it as an example.)

So much emphasis is put on blood relationship, and has been for so long, that it can be hard to separate the burdens of it from the blessings.  You are allowed to walk any open tradition regardless of your blood ancestry.  But I’d be disingenuous if I didn’t acknowledge that saying that is all well and good without addressing the fact that we still feel certain responsibilities and emotional connections when blood does get involved.

Long story short, I think ancestry tests are awesome for lots of reasons, but I think that as polytheists and pagans we should sit down with ourselves and our spirits beforehand and really consider how such knowledge might impact us.  It forces us to reflect on the nature of our relationship with our ancestors of blood and spirit as well as our cultural identity, even a diasporic one.

- mountain hound

#pagan #paganism #ancestry #ancestors #ancestor veneration #anonymous #mountain hound