#elul tag

[honeysuckle-venom]

I've had a lot going on lately, psychologically, and I haven't been posting about 90% of it. I haven't been able to, I haven't had the words most of the time. I still don't. The last four days or so have been spent in a psychotic episode of astonishing intensity, one that feels more like our first break when we were 15 than almost anything since then. The whole summer has been very difficult, lots of trauma stuff and system stuff and psychosis stuff I thought I had put to rest coming up but coming up...differently, like the first time all over again instead of echoes? Idk how to explain it, my therapist had all sorts of good words for it in our session today but I was so psychotic I was only processing like 60% of what she was saying and I remember even less. I do know she said encouraging things about how every schizophrenic patient she's worked with has gone through this same process of temporarily getting much much better and tasting health for the first time and then having a significant recurrence of symptoms, and something about how the experience often mimics the first break/is like having the first break again for reasons I was too out of it to understand today but that are part of the healing process. So that was very comforting to hear, because my symptoms this weekend were honestly sort of terrifying.

But anyway. None of that was meant to be the original point of this post. I wanted to talk about how spiritually unprepared I feel for The High Holy Days. I mean, I always feel unprepared, I think everyone does, you're basically supposed to. If I'm remembering right that's even one of the phrases you say. But this year I have done less prep than any time in the last 5+ years. I just haven't been able to. I did manage to set aside one therapy session a few weeks ago to discuss my New Year's resolutions from last year and to what extent I've managed to stick to them, and to decide what ones I'm making this year, which is something really important that I do every year. I take my Rosh Hashanah resolutions very seriously and it's generally a real turning point in the year for me, they aren't the kind of casual resolutions a lot of people make in January like "I'm going to exercise," they tend to be significant decisions about how to live my life and treat myself and those around me. But besides that one therapy session and a tiny bit of contemplation on my own I haven't even tried to do the kind of spiritual inventory or teshuvah that I usually shoot for. And I'm trying to be okay with that. I spent this whole summer really struggling and the last few days psychotic and catatonic; I think Hashem understands that my priority has been to stay alive and that's pretty much all I've had the ability to do. But I'm still pretty much in survival mode and it sucks to be there just a few days before Rosh Hashanah. It's my favorite holiday and I haven't been able to think about it pretty much at all. I have plans to celebrate with friends both Friday and Sunday and intend to go to services Friday and Saturday, but I'm nervous that I won't be well enough for some or all of that. We'll see when we get there, I suppose. It's just a really bad feeling to know my favorite holiday is coming and normally I do a lot of internal and external work to prepare for it and I've done basically none of it and don't even feel that special "Rosh Hashanah is coming" feeling because I'm too busy being crazy. It just feels really sad and disappointing.

#text post #my post #idk my grandma's Rosh Hashanah care package arrived today #and instead of being excited i'm too crazy to even eat any of it bc food paranoia #and it's just...it's frustrating to be in this mental place when i want to be excited about the new year and stuff #and i'm nervous i won't be doing better by friday #i'm really hoping that like once it actually arrives and i eat some apples and honey and go to synagogue it'll help me feel better #but i just don't have it in me to do any spiritual reflection beforehand and i feel disappointed in myself bc of that #and i'm trying not to stress about it bc literally one of my resolutions for the past two years is being more gentle with myself #but it's just hard #jewish tag #elul tag

[ofpd]

wait whys jumblr trending

#is it bc of elul?? #i just went to go look for a post i made a while ago and the tag was all lit up?? #txt

[zahut]

So it’s Elul. I equate preparing for the new year as resetting my clock. I evaluate what is working in my life (and not), what I actively must change, and plan concrete steps to accomplish that. On Rosh HaShanah we are aware that G’d is judging us. But G’d is truly judging us every moment of every day. It is only on Rosh HaShanah that we pause to reflect on this phenomenon. This time of year is solemn but also very uplifting for me.

#personal #jewish tag #jumblr #elul

[caughtdaydreaming]

Tag nine (9) people you’d like to know better

I was tagged by @thisisarebeljyn

Last song: Have Some Fun by Pitbull, its on my workout playlist

Currently watching: NCIS. Its on Netflix and its something interesting enough that I dont want to immediately turn it off but not something I am invested in enough that I cant get up to do household chores. Or feel like I constantly need to rewind because I missed something when I got distracted with a formatting issue for the fic I am typesetting.

Currently reading: Oh boy, so many things. I just finished book about the history of printing and typesetting. I am in the middle of some tales from the Arabian Nights, as well as a book about fashion history. And I am about to start a book about Judaism for the month of Elul. Also I have a book making reference book on hand as I start attempting to make my first fanbinding. Also the library just emailed me that my hold is in, so I will be starting the second book in the Tales of the Otori series.

Current obsession: The Making of Books. In a historical context, looking at the development to modern day, from the perspective of fanbinding, and just looking at the really pretty ways people can make books. Like everything to do with the process of turning a story or essay into a book that a person can open and read with their hands. My brain has not stopped thinking about this shit for weeks.

Tagging (only if you wanna!): @uselessthimbs @zaftiggeek @flarelights @dwarf-scum @undiegirl @relenafanel @soldieronbarnes @magic-stuff-and-books @raventaire

[indigowallbreaker]

i love the thought of jewish celeste, because each of the months is associated with a zodiac sign (elul is the maiden, tishrei is scales, etc) and there were even arguments in the talmud about whether people could or should try to tell the future based on horoscopes 😂

See! It checks out!

I can't even take credit-- I reblogged that post from the Animal Crossing Showdown blog who put in their tags "Celeste Become Jewish" and was like "yes absolutely."

#indigo asks #tysm for making the idea legitimate that's so cool

[garlicgirlie]

anyways, i’ll leave it up to you 🍋

i briefly mention my assault last october but i don’t go into detail, just that it happened.

i’ve been trying to get in touch with my rabbi since elul, leaving a respectful amount of voicemails and call volumes. the only time i got a response was when i happened to change my outgoing message last month and even then, it was still a relentless game of one sided phone tag.

i went from actively in crisis to grief in the aftermath with no one to help me. still navigating, still trying to stay on top of it all.

thoughts and vibes happened a couple of weeks ago. it’s three or four posts after this one or you can go to homebrewjew on the clock app for the full context.

bit of an update; i received my tax forms for the year and they weren’t correct, so i had to call accounting who cleared everything up. she also offered to get me in to speak with someone for my trauma and close out my membership.

#jumblr #homebrewjew

[otherworldsys]

Matching the Pieces

How the meeting between Layla and Marc could have gone, and how they got together.

One-shot. About 10,000 words.

We're bad at tagging, feel free to suggest any tags.

Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply Layla El-Faouly/Marc Spector, Layla El-Faouly/Jake Lockley, Marc Spector, Jake Lockley, Layla El-Faouly, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Autistic Marc Spector, Autistic Jake Lockley, Autistic Layla El-Faouly, Pre-Canon, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, First Meetings, Getting Together, Elul (Hebrew Month) adjacent, very brief religious trauma mention, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, How Do I Tag, Amnesia, Amnesia Fueled Miscommunication, Jake and Marc are winging it, Layla is blissfully unaware, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Cussing, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues

#moon knight #oneshot #marc spector #jake lockley #layla el faouly #layla x marc #jake x layla #moonscarab #fanfic #marc x layla

[laineystein]

Told a friend this and she went silent.

I swear that always knocks goyim out 😂

I won’t tag her here because she’s probably just busy *but* at some point I will tell her my other favorite Jew fact, that being one of the reasons a wife can divorce her husband…

#I just really love being a Jew #jew things #I’ve made enough Jewish sex jokes today so I will refrain from tagging this #Elul…and stuff

[lovelytalmida]

I'm slowly learning what Elul is about, especially in conjunction with the concept of teshuva. Of course, I still have so much more to read, but it's all so beautiful 🥺.

#seeing the reflection posts and lurking in the elul tag makes my heart so full #I'm so happy to be learning about all this #jumblr

[hanukkitty]

i hate how disconnected i feel from my jewishness right now. i feel stuck and tired. i want to not feel this way but idk it's like... what do i even do. idk

#freddie tag #negativity cw #i've been trying to do daily journal prompts for elul but i'm so behind

[honeysuckle-venom]

I had a frickin dream about Tashlich last night

#my post #text post #@ Hashem: I get it! #time for teshuva! #elul tag #jewish tag

[unbidden-yidden]

We were practicing sounding the shofar yesterday - just practicing it - and even so, it still shook some deeper part of my consciousness awake, as if my brain were hardwired such that to hear that sound was to open my eyes, to bring my heart to its knees.

I had been mentally trying on my own to shift my increasingly lax observance back on track, to push myself into self-reflection, without success.

Now? Now I'm ready to begin.

#Elul #HHD #high holidays #obviously not yet #but tagging for those who don't want to see posts related to this

[daysofawesome]

Days of Awesome 2021 (5782)

Today is the first of the Hebrew month of Elul, which means IT’S almost TIME FOR DAYS OF AWESOME! Whoo!

What is Days of Awesome?

Days of Awesome is a annual Jewish character ficathon in honor of the Jewish high holiday season.

Originally founded by Livejournal user jadelennox in 2007, the goal of this project is to create a venue for fans of all backgrounds to write fic about Jewish characters and their Jewish identities–which are all-too-often under-represented in canon and fanon, and, when they are represented, they’re often represented as Jewish in name only.

We’re also here because while we love other holiday fic challenges, they so frequently don’t correspond with holidays that are important on the Jewish calendar. We wanted to change that with a festive little celebration around the Jewish holiday season!

How It Works

We’re keeping it really casual.

We’ll have a collection on Archive of Our Own that will open on Erev Rosh HaShana (Monday, September 6, this year), and stay open through the Hebrew month of Tishrei (until October 6)–a length which spans the entire Jewish high holiday season, and includes the holidays of Rosh HaShana, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Sheminei Atzeret, and Simchat Torah!

You can feel free to upload any fic, ficlet, or podfic that you write that fits the requirements to the collection within that time frame. Please just tag it with the tag Community: daysofawesome!

And, if all goes according to plan, we’ll have a few optional prompts too, peppered and shared throughout the month.

What are the requirements for fic?

The only firm requirement is that your focal character be Jewish.

If they’re canonically Jewish–great!

If they’re not canonically Jewish, that’s okay too. But we would ask that if it is a situation in which you headcanon a particular character as Jewish, or are writing an AU in which they are Jewish, you please make the fic about their Jewishness.

If you have a Jewish OC that you want to write about–if, for instance, you want to explore what it would be like to be a Jewish character in the world of the Hunger Games, or His Dark Materials–go for it! Again, we would just ask that the fic be about that character’s (or those characters’) Jewish experiences.

If you wanted to be extra festive and seasonal, you could write about some of the characters celebrating one of the seasonal holiday, or a fic on one of the themes that is explored throughout one of these days.

All fandoms are game, and there are no length requirements, and you can upload as many pieces as you’d like within the month.

Questions?

We are here to help!

Check out our FAQ, or feel free to drop us an ask ,or send us an email at [email protected]

And if you’re interested, please signal boost! We’d love to spread this far and wide!

#days of awesome #Jewish tag #fanfiction #rosh hashanah #yom kippur #sukkah

[geshertzarmeod]

do any of you have favorite writings or songs or anything about elul or the high holy days?

anyone have special practices that help them prepare for rosh hashanah and yom kippur? 

#the jewish experience tag #jumblr #jewish #elul #high holy days

[queer-talmid]

Judgement is Nigh

So the High Holy Days are coming.

Elul starts next week.

And, as with every year, I am trying to find some appropriate reading material that I’ll, y’know, actually read.

And, as with every year, I wonder what fantasy books should be on that list.

I am, um, unusually well read when it comes to fantasy, particularly epic fantasy (I haven’t read the Wheel of Time because...well, because.). I’ve noticed that a LOT of fantasy books have a lot of food for thought when it comes to religion. Heck, some of them have enough for a ten course banquet. And they talk about all the different aspects and experiences of religion- religion as a social institution, religion as a personal experience, zealotry, prayer, man seeking Gd, Gd seeking man, repentance, prophecy, obedience, sin, asceticism, organized religion- and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

In the coming weeks I’m going to posting a lot excerpts, often with open ended prompts. I hope that this won’t be me posting sources into the void, but rather an opportunity for the Jews of Tumblr to come together and do what Jews do best- discuss ideas.

Tag suggestions for this project are welcome

#Jumblr #Jewish stuff #Judgement is Nigh #this is just to say

[luckypebble42]

Listen. I know that asking this one fanfic author to marry me because of their beautiful tags on a Jewish Jack Zimmermann fic is not a proportional response to my Elul-pandemic-identity-crisis feelings. I know. However,

#omgcheckplease #jewish jack zimmermann #and hashem created fanfic writers #and it was good