#but hospitals and doctors and nurses... even if they're nice... no that's scary

[running-in-the-dark]

I'm getting really nervous about my appointment at the hospital tomorrow. I mean, it's mostly fine because the anxiety meds are doing their job but it just feels so.. surreal? that I'm going there to get an appointment to have surgery? I know it's nothing big or unusual or anything like that (at least that's what the surgeon said), and I've had a diagnostic laparoscopy so I kinda know what to expect (just when it comes to the surgery itself), so that makes me feel a little less scared.

but, a week ago I never would have thought that I'd end up in the ER again, and the surgery thing is even more unexpected, it all just feels so weird and I don't know how to deal with it.

I'm so glad I've got the anxiety meds because without them, I don't think I could do this on my own. in a way I'm kinda proud of myself for.. going to an appointment in a hospital on my own 😬 it's not even a big hospital or one that's far away; I've been there many times because some of my doctors have their offices there, I had to stay there for a few days several times, and of course I was just there on Friday. but, I don't know, hospitals are just scary 😔

#it's funny because I love ambulances and paramedics make me feel super comfortable and safe and everything lol #but hospitals and doctors and nurses... even if they're nice... no that's scary #anyway I'm kinda looking forward to not having my stupid gallbladder anymore lol. I just wish someone had.. mentioned that that might be #causing some of my issues earlier 😭 #like. I don't know what problems can be caused by which organs! I don't know anything! doctors know things! and no one has ever even #mentioned the word gallbladder to me!! #(and now I've found out that my mother was supposed to have her gallbladder removed years ago and my brother has been suspecting his could #be causing his issues too... sooo thanks for mentioning that guys!!) #(I know it's my fault that I'm an adult who knows absolutely nothing about how any of that stuff works 😔 but I still wish someone had at #least mentioned that at any point lol) #anyway at least I can look forward to the anesthesia haha. that's always nice #personal

[fearsfalling]

Hallo Rein, as someone who's been looking into getting gender affirming care do you mind telling me how the process went/is going for you? Like did you go alone or with family, or how did you do it for your doctor to prescribe you T or if they're nice or not, the whole process is really scary specially when i'm doing it alone so your experiencies might help me 🥲 Thank you in advance!

Hi hi! Well first of all, I don't actually remember that much...? It's been quite a long time so some details are foggy, but I'll try my best to help!

First, some context: my family took a long time to get used to my change and it was actually quite a horrible experience but in the end they got around to it and they helped me in each step of the way! So having anyone to support you emotionally or physically is quite important, however it's not impossible to do it without support!

So for the medical changes, it was actually my psychologist and psychiatrist who suggested I take the step, I wasn't going to do it originally but I did and it was one of the best decisions I made! So for some countries and stuff you need a psychiatrist to confirm if you're qualified for (in my case) testosterone. Then you gotta go to an endocrinologist so they make sure your body is able to accept the change, you have to take quite a bunch of blood tests too, personally I went to an online endocrinologist because it was hard to find one in my city. I got my first shot a month later, it costs around $100ish and it's an injection, I'm not sure if there are pills because there weren't any in my city. I've heard you can go to the hospital so they put the injection on you or do it alone, personally I went to a family member who is a nurse, but I want to learn how to do it alone.

I put the injection around October, so it's been almost three months, my next shot is in January, and the changes are very notorious in my case: my facial hair started growing quite rapidly, I gotta shave everyday, my voice got lower and more rough, I got a little bit taller (from 157cm to 160), but also I gained a lot of weight and got a lot of acne.

Now the most important part: The first week of T was the worst, I literally felt like my emotions were everywhere and I honestly wanted to die so bad, I got irritated for each and every detail and also couldn't stop feeling like shit. You'll fight with your loved ones and you'll be mean to yourself but remember that it's just a temporary feeling and it will go. Honestly I don't know if this is common because I take a lot of pills (lithium, olanzapine, brexpiprazol, Sertraline, Ambien...) but it was genuinely the worst.

But despite it I survived and now people perceive me as a man, if my voice was even deeper I'm sure they wouldn't even notice I am trans! Also in the medical field there have been goods and bads, when I went to the psych ward a nurse kept misgendering me and also dead naming me despite me telling her not to. But also for example, everyone else makes sure I feel comfortable and that I'm not dead named in the system once they realize I'm trans.

You don't know the euphoria of getting people to perceive you as you perceive yourself. Despite the microagressions and the mood swings, I feel like it's completely worth it.

May your journey be the way you want it to be, and if you ever want to talk more feel free to DM!

#phanthoughts

[chaos-writes]

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher: Ghost in the Flesh

Warning: 14+ Swearing. Gore. Word count: 1,688

No party was as good as the ones hosted by Stu Macher. An 18 year old Rich Bitch senior, whose parents decided they could trust him with the house while they went on vacation somewhere in the Bahamas. He was also a piece of eye candy, along with his buddy, the ‘Definition-of-Teen-Angst’ Billy Loomis. He's that one ride or die friend of the school. You see, these guys are popular. While they may not be the jock d-bags of the highschool superiority complex, they are known around here for being party animals. Stu is also the goofiest in the school, the class comedian, if you will.

Me? I’m just… there. Look, Stu is throwing a massive party tonight. I’m not gonna flirt or anything. I just wanna get some beer and bounce. No biggie. In’n’out.

Okay, I'm a little freaked out. I don't wanna bump into a dude named Randy Meeks, a guy who's built like a weasel and acts like one too. He's a horror movie fanatic who acts like school is an actual movie, well, a horror movie. I really have nothing against him, he's a good dude, but still. I'd rather not talk to him.

The whole school day I spent pondering about the party. I found myself daydreaming about Bill- err… watching the movie at the party. Casey and I couldn't stop talking about it. We’re best friends, so we do a lot together.

I rented out the Robin movie and skedaddle. Randy was screaming and I wanted none of that. I go home and put the movie on the counter. "Mom? Hey, I brought a movie home! I know you'll love it!"

School is over for the weekend and I head to the video store on my walk home. Randy is stocking shelves as usual. I look at the comedy section; ooh, my family will love this one! It's a Robin Williams movie! And there he is, Party Man himself. Stu Macher, picking on weasel dude. I see Billy, talking to a group of girls who swoon at his slightest movement (ewww).

It was getting closer to 8. I watched that movie with my parents and ate. I did my homework, cleaned my room, and showered. I set out for the 10-minute walk to Stu's house. Instead, I got a phone call. "Hey, it's Billy. Do you need a ride here?" Right, I gave him my number to help study.

"Well, the house is just a 10 minute walk away-"

"Why don't you just let me pick you up? Shorten that time."

"Uhm, ok then. You need my address?"

"N-... yea, I do."

A few minutes later, I see the car of one of the most popular guys at school pull up in front of my house. Gee, that was fast. "Hey, mom? I'm gonna hang out with my buddies tonight. I'll call you before I leave for home."

I'm in his car. I'm in his car. I'm in his car. Oh my god. Ok, he's cute. But I can't freak out like this. "You- ah, ok there?" He says. "O- oh, yea, I'm sorry, just zoned out." I stammer. His car smells like cologne and it's very clean. And he's right next to me. Billy Loomis. Sitting in his car. Next to a loser.

“Hey, you know Stu and I are close, right?” Billy said. “Of course I do! You guys are double trouble!” I giggled. He laughs. God, that laugh. It was so melodic, so… perfect. “Well, we’ve been thinking about getting closer with you. Y’know, we’re not very close. We wish that was different. You’re very kind, and you have such a great personality.” He admitted. I stare blankly for a second. Hey, did he take a back road? “I like that idea,” I said. He looked at me with those gorgeous brown eyes. “Yeah?” 

I nodded and smiled. I can’t believe this! He smiles and giggles lightly to himself. A solid minute went by in silence before we pulled into his driveway. We got there early so we waited in the car a bit. “Hey, that ride took as long as the walk would've taken,” “well, i wanted to have enough time to talk to you,” He says. 

“That’s okay, I like long car rides anyways.” I said.

I walked with Billy into Stu's front door. Wow, this place is, just, beautiful. Stu walks right past me, straight to Billy. They start quietly talking together, Billy tosses a glance at me and Stu looks and smiles at me, I had no choice but to smile back. I was a guest in his house after all; you're supposed to be polite to your hosts.

It made me nervous. Really nervous. I wasn't thinking at all. I walked into the kitchen to cool down, that was really weird. Stu walked over to me after the two were done talking. He was actually really nice to me and we had a really fun conversation about aliens and whether or not they’re real. He did impressions of what he thought they would look like. He's such a goofball.

He handed me a beer and sat me down on the couch, right next to him. Wow, he is tall sitting next to me. I took a swig and decided you know what? I can stay for more than a beer. It's all good. I’m not big into horror movies and Stu knew this, so he explained all the lore behind Halloween while we were watching it. 

I think one of the boys said something to Randy, because he hasn't even looked at me, not once, the whole night. Not even during his little ramble about the "rules" about being in a horror movie, or whatever.

During the movie, Stu noticed that I was cold. He told me I could go upstairs to grab his sweater. So, I head upstairs very cautiously, looking for the sweater. He said his room, right? 

I then feel swift footsteps behind me and an arm wrap around my throat. Shit! I'm in a blood choke! I couldn't get out. Everything just faded. 

I woke up in Stu's bed, I must've been out for hours. I stumble and try to fight myself awake. I feel so weak. I stumble down the stairs and begin shaking at the sight.

The whole house was a bloodbath. Randy was tied up and soaked in blood, dead. Sydney was dead. 

Casey, oh God, Casey, mutilated beyond recognition and hanging from a tree outside the house. I can’t breathe. I can’t imagine how scared she was. Did she call for help? Could I have saved her?

The only people left were me, Billy, and Stu. They were soaked in blood and covered in stab wounds.

The police were on their way. I tried my best to help Stu, he was practically mutilated. I put pressure on his wounds and moved on to Billy. He wasn't as bad but he was losing a lot of blood.

I don't know why the killer didn't finish me off after I was unconscious.

The wait at the hospital was long. There were police officers and social workers and doctors talking to me, asking weird questions, and it was all happening so fast and I was so scared. I couldn't think, my head felt like it was splitting open. Casey, what did they do to you? Oh God, I’m so sorry.

The boys were in emergency surgery. A nurse came into the waiting room. "Hey, the boys are out of surgery. You can go and visit them, although it would be a while before they wake up."

I get into the hospital room and there they are. A shared hospital room with 2 empty beds opposite of 2 occupied beds. They're both asleep, hooked up to oxygen, connected to wires and tubes of all sorts. It was almost as scary as seeing them drenched in blood back at that party. Well, massacre.

I drag a chair in between the beds, pull the dividing curtain back farther, and wait. I sit and think about the party, how Stu was so tall sitting next to me on his couch, how Billy just... offered me a ride. The ride itself. It seems a little insane but do they... have feelings for me?

After I moved to the woodsboro district, both boys broke up with their girlfriends within a week from each other. It kinda sucks because I liked Sidney and Tatum, and now they want nothing to do with me-

"Hmmm...?" Stu slowly opened his eyes and lifted his head. "I had no idea you'd be here." He said in a tired, raspy voice.

"Hi, Stu. I just wanted to check up on you boys. You guys were really badly hurt. I feel awful, I could've done more to help."

"Honey, it's okay. Besides, imagine how badass these scars are gonna look when they heal over!"

"You big goof!" I giggled. Billy stirred in his bed. He lifted his head, rubbed his eyes, and groaned. "Hey, how did it go ove-" he stopped mid sentence. Both he and Stu shared looks of horror between me and themselves.

Why are they acting so strange?

Oh no.

Oh God.

I felt my heart stop in my chest. They didn’t. They couldn’t have. Casey… 

“You… you were the killers?” I said in a soft, shaky voice. Billy smoothed his voice, “Now what makes you think we were the killers?”

“The… the phone call, the conversation at the front door, the… oh God, Casey!” I broke into sobs. I couldn't help it. They killed my best friend! 

“Hey, it’s not like that. We never meant to hurt you…” Stu pleaded. 

Billy’s expression turned from amusement to horror as he watched tears slip down my cheeks. Both were silent as they leaned in from their beds and wrapped their arms around me. “How can we make it up to you, beautiful?” Billy asked.

Silence fell over what seemed like the whole world.

“Stay with me. That’s the least you can do.”

 “Of course, sweetness.” Billy said.

#slashers #scream #scream 1996 #billy loomis #stu macher #stuart macher #billy and stu #billy x reader x stu #fic #slash-writes

[coffee-bat]

oh, oh geez-

i should have stated it more clearly, oh god- i mentioned in the tags of a post i made earlier today that i managed to get back home-

thank you so much. all of what you said is REALLY good advice, and pretty much what was going on in my head when i was there-

(i ended up writing a LONG vent about the hospital, so i'm gonna put a read more here, sorry)

[[MORE]]

i spent a bit over 24 hours there (thankfully only that long). the first few hours, i was panicked- i could barely breathe and the smoke stang my eyes, i had a migraine and no water to swallow painkillers, on top of that i was on period and with no easy bathroom access (it was in the "actual" psych ward down the corridor, meaning i had to be let out of my current room (which was locked at all times), led to the ward entrance (locked too), let in, let to go to the bathroom, and then repeat the same procedure to go back, which sucked)- i was close to attempting escape. like at some point i almost fully decided that the moment someone opens the door to check in on us, i'm fucking running. the only thing that stopped me was that if they ended up catching me, i'd be labeled a nutcase and given even less opportunity to escape. that, and it was below zero degrees outside, i don't know where i'd wait for mom to pick me up. so i decided to wait. stay by the door, where there was a small gap under it, so there was a bit of fresh air, and wait.

i was taken there involuntarily- mom and i had an argument that, as usual, triggered an episode for me, and i ended up cutting both my inner arms (usually i only do the left one, and avoid the inner side). mom decided that she's calling the ambulance on me (two days prior i received an asylum referral that was supposed to be up to my decision), which just left me a bit of time to pack my stuff. the ambulance came, the paramedics were angry that they were called despite me "having barely scratched myself" (thanks, i'll try harder next time), but ended up taking me. i was supposed to go to a respectable asylum in the city (which i currently live 30km away from, but it's the capital of the voivodeship), but it turned out to be closed due to having a covid case, so i was taken to a shithole hospital in a town closer to my house. terrible idea. it was a normal hospital with a psych ward in it, instead of full-on mental hospital, which y'know, tends to go with how they're treating you. so i was put there, without my consent, locked into a small room with two grown men and an older woman, all of them smoking.

the roommates were really anxiety-inducing, honestly. like to the point where i was scared to fall asleep (ending up putting my phone and wallet under my pillow every time). the men were both drunks, and the woman seemed to be too. on top of that, the woman was an ACTUAL nutcase. no idea what was up with her, honestly, but it was nerve-wracking. she didn't know what town she was in, didn't know why she was here, seemed to have some point of memory loss, as she asked me for cigs multiple times, and was suprised when i responded that i don't smoke literally everytime, would talk to herself constantly, at some point started yelling "MOOOM. MAMAA!" out of nowhere- she wasn't aggressive or anything, but it's honestly really scary to be locked with someone you don't understand nor can predict. i felt sorry for her. the men spoke mostly in swear words (the famous "kurwa"s), stared at me weirdly, mostly walked around and smoked. no nurse would listen to me when i tried to explain that 1) i'm scared 2) i can't fucking breathe, why the fuck is noone doing anything about them smoking indoors.

i was shortly talked with by doctors a total of two times- the first one was on the day i was put there, she interviewed me shortly and proceeded to give me sedatives because i was shaking and stress-stimming. in consequence i passed out and slept for three hours, then was really unsure on my feet for the rest of the day. noone listened when i tried to mention that i seem to have reacted badly to the meds. which is to be expected, but y'know. sucks when you have to constantly hold onto something when walking/standing and everyone is pretending it's fine, because they just don't care.

i did my best to keep a calm demeanor through all the time i was there, so i would have bigger chances of being let out- and apparently succeeded, as in the "doctor's description" in the document they gave me upon leaving, i was described as "calm, level-headed and aware". which is nice, as they kept questioning me to check if i'm a nutcase or not ("what year is it? do you know where you are? why are you here? what's your name?"), which was real fucking annoying. i also kept insisting in all the minor check-ins that i should be let out. in my second doctor visit, in the morning of my second day there, i was finally asked "if i think staying would be beneficial for me", and i said fuck no (in the calmest and most level-headed way possible). they asked me a few more times, and when my response didn't change over the course of a few hours, they finally agreed to discharge me, and i called mom to pick me up.

mom was the one who put me there, but when i vented to her about the conditions, she agreed that i have to do anything to be discharged, and she'll pick me up. dad knew too, but he doesn't have a car, so he couldn't really do anything. that, and i'm legally an adult (even if they didn't treat me as such), so i can't really depend on my parents in situations like this. so i was kinda alone in the struggle.

the physical conditions were obviously horrible. it was cold (snowing outside), the room was dirty, i had no privacy or way to hide from the men, so i ended up just not changing. the only food i was given was dry bread with green-ish ham and a small apple (supper) and dry bread with cheese that smelled highly suspicious and a one (1) inch wide piece of bell pepper. so i ended up eating dry bread and the fruit/vegetables. they gave us plastic cups, and there was a sink, so at least i had a way to drink. the water left sediment in my mouth, but it was still something.

the bathroom situation was fucking ridiculous. on top of having to be let out to go there, there was obviously no toilet paper, cause what did i expect. when i was woken up in the morning to go to the other doctor, i practically begged to be allowed to go to the bathroom first. they denied, so i asserted my dominance by bleeding on the therapist chair (and ruining a pair of pants).

so yeah, tl;dr: mental hospitals suck, especially when they're in underfounded shitholes.

(bonus: pictures of my room to illustrate my points: )

#sorry for the long rant/vent #but the moment i tried to form a comprehensive sentence about the hospital it just came pouring out y'know? #long post #ask #personal #vent #mental hospital tw #asylum tw #abuse tw #(i guess) #period ment tw #self harm mention #blood mention #mental illness mention #there are probably a lot more tws i should put here but i don't know what #my pics

[yoongusworld]

title –> Lifetime

genre –> smut , one sided love , nurse and pianist reader x pianist ,heir yoongi! oneshot.

characters –> bts! yoongi x reader , y/n ,dahyun.

this is based on imagination,character used exists but this is only a fanfiction.

i would like to give credits for some lines i will use

-hardfactzquotes,poise,blogkiat,themindsjournal.com,the last part i there is no watermark so i dont know who owns that but ctto.

my mom said that love can conquer all.the most scariest thing i don't want to experience is heartbreak but i you need to fall inlove and feel your heart break.One sided love is beautiful yet a heartbreak.No expectations,nothing in return,just pure love.Yet it hurts,no doubt. but nothing can be as beautiful as one sided love story.

"y/n honey! wake up! you'll be late for you practice daughter!" those words are loud.i'm sleepy.

"moooom~i practiced all night my fingers feel numb and my piano seems sad like it wants to give up~" i lazily replied to my mother.

"honey..you play for patients in the hospital you need to inspire them with your music,you said that right? plus payment is high you can add that when you leave or you want me to just pay--" i cut my moms words and said

"uuuuuugh--mom i know we have lots of money but i don't want to depend on your money its not that im not accepting your hardworks its just i want to prove everyone that i will not just depend on how rich we are. i know i can do it" i know i can.

"i know honey..i believe in you,you're the best choice i chose in my whole life and i know you never done anything wrong because youre my daughter,i love you honey...now get up!!" she said and patted my legs.

"love you too mom..here i come practice!!" and we both laugh. i love my mom. she supported me in every aspects of my life,every journey of my chilhood,teenage and being an adult and i will repay all her hardwork as my mom and as my dad.

after taking a quick bath i head to our kitchen to see what my mom cooks for breakfast and eat.

"bye y/n honey..please be safe. don't forget to put ointment on you finger,okay?" she pecked my cheeks like i'm a little child and said goodbye.

"bye mom!!" i drove to my practice place where aspiring pianists are really trying their best to learn more about piano.I'm not saying that im already a pro but i am really good at this. the're will be a program in a hospital where they will choose one pianist to play at 'bringing back patients to life with music program' sounds like they're already dead? and i was the chosen one.lucky me.there's a guy here who doesn't even talk and always seems..lonely.i am curious about him even i know shouldn't,i dont know its just like..he got me. going inside the practice room everybodys eyes are all on me even the piano teacher.

"Well goodmorning ms.lee,the chosen one. Everyone i forgot to tell y'all that y/n is going to play piano at the hospital program,congratulate her" as everyone claps i saw the introvert guy who put his hands together and clap a little. he's cute but he scares me sometimes. after all those claps i sat down next to him. i purposedly sat beside him. "u-um...h-hiii,i'm lee y/n, i see you don't talk too much so–" i thought i was the only one who can cut words,he did cut my words.

"i know you." how?that sounds great i dont need to introduce myself a lot.

"really???but how?" i asked while the piano teacher is doing his business on some sort of things.he is still looking at the lyrics,notes in front of him not even wanting to spare a glance at me.but when he talks he looks at my eyes well its not a look,more like a glare.

"youre mom is a doctor in 'Asan Mecial Center Soul' no wonder they chose you to play in the hospital because your mother is a doctor"he smirked and i was shocked on his words is he saying that i depend on my mom to get inside the program?!

"e-excuse me but i didn't ask any help from anyone i know inside that hospital!" who does he think he is?he look back on his papers not even replying on what i said. he is rude and scary as expected.

"yah!y/n" my friend dahyun hooked me up "what?" i replied. she's on my right side while that rude guy is on my left. "Are you seriously talking to min yoongi?!" she wishpered to me "who?who is yoongi?"i asked confused. "duh its the guy beside you girl!" so his name is yoongi?? "whats up with him?does he really talk rudely to people?!" i asked dahyun slightly mad. "yes!but he's hot isnt he? he is the next heir of the AMCS he is soon the president of the hospital,i heard he finished medicine and piano is just his hobby when he is bored,girl there is no way you dont know him!" it looks like he is that popular. i get more interested.my mom is one of the doctors there yet,i dont heard anything 'bout him.

after piano practice me and my bestfriend dahyun headed to the café. "whats up with you y/n? you seemed so quiet since we talked about yoongi" i still did not answer her question "hey!y/n are going to keep looking on your favorite iced americano?the ice is melting what the hell are you thinking there?!" i really need to ask dahyun since she knows everything about handsome and popular guys. "dahyun,what more you know about yoongi?" i asked im not shy to ask shes my bestfriend i can trust her with all my rants and secrets. "Hmm well they said that yoongi is really introvert not until her girlfriend appear‐-" she have girlfriend. "her girlfriend is the richest before they also said that yoongi wasn't planning to fall for her but he did. but after all their love story is tragic. shin hyemin's car crashed and its almost 1year but she's still in a coma her parents are lacking hope but not yoongi and thats when he turn back being quiet and rude. haish he really love her,i hope i will also have a relationship like them." she pouts and out her hand under her chin. "why are u suddenly interested at him huh? do you have a crush on him?" i don't know actually its just he is interesting,i want to know him.

"no!its because he talks rudely to me,thats why" i protest looking on a big glass window beside our table drinking my melted ice iced americano. "btw y/n the program is going near you only have 2days to look pretty!!" i sighed remembering the program "i know and i know you will help me find a nice outfit for it,right?" she also sighed and just nodded not having any choice "hm well good".

—after two days—

"yah y/n i really love this white dress on you,you indeed look like an angel fallen from the sky!!!" i spin myself like a princess feeling the white dress i am wearing "wow! my daughter is so beautiful!!!" we heard a voice from the door assuming its mom "yes of course auntie,i chose her outfit!" dahyun pouts "haha i know dahyunie thank you very much" i said and playfully hug her "ok bye girls,i need to go early one of the patients are slowly healing" she said then finally go "i wonder whos patient is that,your mom is great" dahyun said "i know now lets go and get readyyy,the program will start in 1hr!!!"

yoongi's pov

two days passed since i start to attend piano class to atleast reduce my stress but still,y/n is always bugging me,i cant get enough of her,she is making me do things i'm not supposed to do before. i was early to visit my girlfriend as always. as expected she's still on her coma,i don't know how long i can wait for her i am the next heir and my father wants me to find a woman that i will soon marry. i love this woman,she's my life. there's a mysterious man that always looking through hyenmins door i asked her parents if they know him or if hyenmin knows that guys but her parents said that they don't know him. Its kinda bothering me but unless as he isn't doing anything it will be fine.

"yoongi,thanks for visiting our daughter but you need to rest." her father said with a eyes of pity.

"no s-sir,i am completely fine" i faked a smile.

"yoongi,son,we told you right? its ok for us if you decided to find someone else its been a almost a year we should give up but you insisted and stay by her side,you are so kind and warm hearted yoongi but please remember this 'if you find someone that will make you happy we are fine with that' we know you always try hard to take care of hyenmin but now im returning your kindness to you and go find someone else"mrs. shin said to me with her eyes that were very teary,tears also escaped my eyes i dont wanna leave her,i can't imagine life without hyenmin even i knew that she hurt me.

"yoongi,you're such a great man. you can be with her until she woke up and explain everything to her we are here for you" his father was never like this he used to dislike me for hyenmin because i was playboy back then but she changed me i was happy with her.

"t-thank you mr and mrs.shin" i cried. "the program will start we'll going down,we heard you love piano. you should watch it too" he smiled at me and get out inside the room where hyenmin was.

ah yeah that stupid girl with her stupid program.she talks a lot like you hyenmin and moves like you. what should i do? she's more likely like you but u know that i will never replace you with anyone even you replaced me.

your pov

yup!!this is it y/n you can freaking do this,its just sick people,disabled people ugh!!but still they're people y/n why are you like this? "the next is a beautiful young lady who plays the piano,lee y/n" the mc speaks and called my name,this is it,for real!!! as i go to the stage theater of the hospital everyone is looking at me i guess white dress isn't a good idea? i nervously sat down the piano chair and get my hands ready above the piano. I played beethovens Moonlight Sonata.it certainly brightens the piece but it's not terribly emotional. Emotionally it makes me feel like life at the height of its passion.everyone looks emotional some are enjoying.

yoongi's pov

since i was tired i decided to go to the theater and see what that y/n can really do. its not yet starting but i hear the mc said that lee y/n is next and she's playing a piano. open the door and sat down at the back of the hospitals theater "s-sir what are you still doing here? Mr.min will scold you if he saw you here" i sighed and out my palms onto my forehead its one of my fathers bodyguard are they following me? "he will scold me if you told him that i am here so shut up" i saw y/n starts to play she's playing beethovens moonlight sonata huh i guess she wants everyone to cry.a person who knows music will know its sweet but a typical person who will hear it will definitely cry. as she plays long she is pouring her heart out on whats she's doing,she even wear a white dress she l-looks like an angel fallen from the-- shit! what am i saying?! i admit she is very attractive but she is distracting me from my girlfriend. (End of yoongis pov)

As soon as y/n finished the piano yoongi goes outside the theater and head home.She was fascinated by y/n.She never tought this will happen to him when he still has a girlfriend.This cant be happening he said to himself. He should finds out whats that feeling he's been craving whenever he looks at you.

i was laying on my bed thinking if its really yoongi or not"dahyun,i told you i saw yoongi inside the theater i am not lying or seeing someone that wasnt him coz i know its really him!!!" i explained to my bestfriend who looks at me in disgust. "whats with the disgust face?!" i shouted in stress. "ok let's say that—oh! yoongi was there but, he isn't there for you. he was probably taking care of her sleeping beauty!" while she laughed at me i am still stressed i am having a different feelings about him,its look like he shoots me with his killer looks and glare that i cannot forget those. "i–i know but–dahyun you're my bestfriend and i want to be honest with you on what i feel" then she replied with hum crossing both of ther arms together on his chest. "i really feel curious about yoongi he looks very mysterious and you know i like a person who is mysterious in a good way" she has a girlfriend i know that and im still finding out. "please y/n don't make actions you will regret after just remember i am here for you" she smiled and hugged me. she is right.

another piano lesson.i have no time eating breakfast my mom is already in the hospital and i sooooo lonely dahyun will not pick me up so i guess i drive myself there. I sighed remembering yoongi will be there. we are complete stranger but why do i feel this way towards him?This is crazy.im crazy. i was suddenly awaken my mind hearing my phone ringing "yes mom?" what is it this time?! "honey i am sorry to bother you but after your piano class can you please go here in the hospital" i get inside the class after we talk and there is no sign of yoongi everywhere "what happend to him?" i mumured "WHO?" i was startled by the voice behind me "yah!you startled me!!!" she smiled and grab my arms "lets go" after class me and dahyun planned to go shopping but obviously there was an urgent problem in the hospital and they need my help (i know y'all wondering why,easy) "ugh!y/n we supposed to date today!!"dahyun pouted. "i know im sorry they need a sub in the hospital" i calmly explained to her "you said you don't like to be a nurse but you finished nursing,you know what you confuse me sometimes!!" we laughed as i headed to the hospital.

—AT THE HOSPITAL—

"hey honey glad you made it here,thank you so much daughter we are really lacking of nurses this week but they promised to pay me double for that and i'll give some to you,okay?" i nodded and changed ny clothes to nurses clothes. its not easy to be a sub nurses but i am one of the most payed doctors daughter so its easy for me to get in and loved to help. i will soon leave my mom alone and i want to cherish her a lot so much this past few months. "you look good in nurses outfit,are you playing roleplay here?" a cold voice appeared behind me while i was walking in the hall and i fastly turn my back to that guy i knew it was him "y–yoongi? why did you not attend piano lesson today?" i asked i know i was out of line but i badly want to know his reason "i visited someone" he said coldy and walk past at me "h–hey y–yoongi wait!" he stopped walking but did not turn back to look at you. "what?"he simply talked "just wanted to talk to you.uh erm..if you'll let me???" what did i just say? and now i need to talk to him if he agree.

after my duty as a nurse today i looked at yoongi who is sipping his coffee looking at the sky at the hospitals rooftop i sighed and cut the silence between us "i just want to know if you're fine" i scratched the back on my neck really shy to talk to him "none of you're business" i need to get used to his rudeness "s–sorry i really wanted to be your um f–friend?if thats possible you know?" he heard it for sure but acted like he didn't "i have lots of friend,i dont want to add one anymore"again with his cold tone "well the more the merrier,they said" as i laughed sarcasticly "you're really different aren't you?" he laughed and looked at me "hm...i am" we both laughed and took advantage of a beautiful sun setting on its own.

months have passed i continued working inside the hospital as a nurse while dahyun works at her parents company and...me and yoongi are now friends we hang out a lot i can see he is happier now and i guess i just achieved my goal to make him happy.

"yah give it to me you asshole!" y/n reached for his hand but he is taller than her "only of you'll treat me dinner!" he shouted y/n ran over him but instead she hugged him tight. time stopped for a moment but he speaks up "a–all right,fine here!!" He finally give up and hand her the wallet. they were silent,the rooftop was silent,no birds,no animals,no people,just y/n and yoongi.we sat for another sunset to watch "i never thought we will be good friends" she said and he huffed "you are so noisy who wouldnt talk and hangout with you just to make you quiet?" she playfully punch him and laughed "its because you want me yoongi! If you dont then get rid of me!!!" She shouted to him alongwith a pout making him laugh even more.

she makes him happy how can he able to get rid of her?

After that yoongi and y/n hang out a lot. go to a coffee shop early in the morning, walking in the middle of the night when y/n messed up on hospital,watch movies when yoongi has a problem with his father and hyenmins condition.

you two were hanging out but the doctors called him to tell that hyenmin had seizure so yoongi rapidly ran to the hospital with just only one word he left that y/n always holds "sorry" that sorry followed by another sorry and another and another one. you cannot blame him,you came in his life in a wrong time.

this feelings you have been keeping wasn't like any other like your past relationships. you don't even tried to touch yourself when you think of them and be bold in words around them but with yoongi,its all different. you became more and more comfortable with each other as time passed.

we always seeing each other inside the hospital we ate lunch together,watch sunset together,walk outside together we did a lot as a friend but thats not what i feel anymore i am not curious about him now because i fell for him its more that just a friend and i am sure. we supposed to hangout after my shift .

I texted him to ask where is he. he isnt replying to all my texts "haaaaa where is he now??" i tapped one of my foot on the tiles waiting for yoongi at the hall "hey!!!" someone shocked me "yoongi!!!you startled me!! what took you so long?!" i pout and crossed my arms on my chest "im sorry okay,on my house?" he friendly hugged me that made me blushed. "yah!we're at the hospital and i'm a nurse" he look at me in confused and said "this hospital is mine and i dont care,how about we hang out now okay?no more talking"

we made it into his penthouse. this is the third time i came to his house first was because i bargged in to ask him if i can be his frien,second is when we became close friends that was memorable i am not sure but he was stressed that time so i hugged him as friend but i know we both felt that tension between us,we almosy kissed but the doctor call him about hyenmin. and now is the third,i really crave for this man but he doesn't feel the same.

"how about a movie?" he asked. "that sounds great but can you please order pizza im kinda craving pizza right now and im freaking tired!" i said and flopped myself onto his soft couch "okay just choose a movie while i order"he said while taking off his leather jacket and shoes,he is so hot i cannot stop thinkinh doing dirty thoughts with him but i remember hyenmin all of a sudden.

"can i turn the lights off?" i shouted at yoongi "sure!!!" she shouted back. after a minutes i already chose a movie to watch 'after' "what movie is that?" he asked and also flopped hiself on his couch "idunno its currently number 1 on netflix so this should be good" i yawn and arch my back to stretch "sleepy?" yoongi looked at me,his eyes are different today "n-no just tired. my back really hurts".

"how about a back massage?just a thank you for accompanying me" he slightly laughed and scratched the back of his neck "woah!thats the most kind word i heard today!thanks!" i speak in sarcastic way,he just rolled his eyes on me and pull me down to massage my back.

"ah~yes yoongi right there please~" it was almost a moan "how come you're good at this?" i asked while he continue massaging my back. "i learned it from hyenmin" he said. i admit that hurts me ofcourse he will still love his girlfriend i am not expecting anything just seeing him happy makes me okay.

yoongi's pov

"i learned it from hyenmin" i replied to her. It seems like she doesn't care. y/n keeps moaning while i massage her back it's making me aroused hearing her voice like that it's also been a while since i had sex. "ahh~yoongi thats right" she tilt her head making her hair fall to the side revealing her neck. i cannot take this anymore i am going to explode if she continue teasing me like this. "ahhh!~ yoongi thats hurts! are you alright?" i snapped into reality when i heard my name from her mouth "uh–um i–im sorry is the movie already done?" i changed the topic covering my hardening bulge with a pillow. "not yet were just in the rated 18+ part" she calmly said how can she be calm talking about the sex scene.

"i moan better than her" she said my eyes widen by her sudden words,she's eating the pizza sitting beside me,i see she's playing games with me, "what makes you say that huh?"i smirked at her and then she looks at me "yah!my ex and i attempt lots of sex he even recorded my voice because no one can moan how i moan!"she sound like she is scolding me. what is she saying? we were not comfortable to say things like this,she is totally different.i began talking to her comfortably in just a month not like others even hyenmin,or the six of my bestfriends.

"are you listening?!" she slap my shoulder playfully "i–i am" i replied. "yoongi can i lay on your lap?"did i hear her clear? im freaking hard right now and she wants to lay? On my lap?! "okay i'll take that as a yes!" with that she lay her head on my lap near my bulge as i began groaning when she moves.

"stop playing games with me y/n, i promise wo won't like it"

"what games?" and she continuesly moving,this is fucking great.

your pov

"y/n can you please stop freaking m-moving?!"he said at me more like a shout. "sorry" the movie is done but yoongi is just staying still on his sitting position "yah did you forget to move yoongi?" i laughed at him histerically cos he literally stopped moving he's like a stone i stopped laughing when i felt a hand on my waist.

it was yoongi,he was gripping my waist so hard all i see is him on top of me "i told you to stop freaking moving and now you're laughing like you don't know what you did huh?nurse y/n." he said looking at me with his dark eyes i really have no idea what he's saying "y–yoongi,i have no—" he cut my words

"damn you and your excuses,you make me this hard y/n. now make it up for me" i didn't even have the chance to talk when he slammed his lips in mine harshly i don't want to give in but in myself i am liking this yoongi. i kissed him back. he bite my lower lip asking for entrance he is dominating every moves. our tounges are dancing together our kiss is became steamy and hot i feel my core getting wet.

his lips are now going down to my neck biting the skin creating a hickeys "y–yoongi" i breathed out. he pull up the hem of my shirt taking it off and unclasping my bra so easily. his mouth made it to my hardening nipple nibbling his tongue on it while other hand massaging my left breast. i interwined my fingers through his soft hair as he continue to suck my breasts

"uugh y–yoongi~" i continue moaning his name pain and pleasure is what i am feeling right now as he began biting my nipples. i know i am being selfish right now. but just one day,one night will be enough with me.

his lips are moving further down pulling my skirt up to my belly that makes me shiver and aroused, he kissed my core and looked up at me and ask permission

"can i?" i nodded and he moved my panties to the side as i moaned when i felt his hot breath to my core sending shivers down my spine "y–yoongi p–pleaseee" i begged being desperate for him. "i need you y-yoongi" i moaned out "you're getting it for being a slut y/n"his words can make even a boy horny, he fastly remove my skirt along with my panties.

yoongi is eating me out like a hungry man "f–fuck" the only word thats getting out of my mouth as he continues to work on his tongue technology on my wet core

"cumming~" i moaned out as i feel my high going soon "cum for me baby" he mumbled thats vibrating on my core as i release my high.

"hmm so sweet" he said going back to my mouth as i taste myself on him,our kiss become sloppy. he breaks the kiss and breath heavily.

i heard a belt falling on the carpet "so beautiful" he whispered to himself but i still manage to hear

"how about you suck me first before i give you want you want,huh?is that good" he said with a raspy voice while touching my ass cheeks i gently oblige him as he sat down the couch and i get on my knees. his eyes are so dark full of lust.

i pull his pants down along with his boxers while he remove his white shirt,his hardened cock sprung out proudly standing up onto his belly it was an average size but he was thick enough to make me shout in pleasure.

“suck”he said in full of dominance i licked his dick like a kitten as you heard him hiss.

"don’t be a fucking tease" he shoves his hips sliding himself between your parted lips and onto your mouth. you taste the saltiness of arousal leaking from his swollen cock, you take him all in swirling you tongue around his pulsating cock. "ugh,your tongue feels so fucking good baby."

yoongi moans like his stresses are melting away with every in out pace of your mouth on his cock. he grips you hair so tight knowing he is almost there "fuck baby deeper,just like that. ughh f-fuck" he controls the pace making you choke,tears escaped from your eyes "uhhh your mouth feel so good baby,y–yeah" he is mouth fucking you.

"take it all,d–dont leave any single drop" you suck harder "i–m c–cumming" he groaned "f–fuck y/n take it all" i can feel his grip on my scalp,tears are still flowing as his hot cream shots down to your throat "fucking swallow my cum baby"

he pulled me up to him making me sit on his lap "ride me y/n,ride me like a good girl"

"yes daddy" he spanked my ass feeling a hot stingy sensation.

spank

spank

spank

i only yelp by his actions,it hurts but its good.

"do you want daddy to fuck you hard,huh?"

he said with a low raspy voice he put his long slender finger under my dripping core making me jump

"y–yes d–daddy fuck me h–hard" i moaned desperately

"you're fucking dripping for me you slut" he pumps his dick and gently slide it inside your wet core. you squeezed your eyes feeling his thick cock inside your pussy.

you wrap your arms around yoongis neck and breathing hardly

"damn it,y–you're so tight y/n" he waits until i adjust and move up and down his lap with his cock inside my core

he suck my nipples making me moan so loud he stopped and sucked your collarbones marking his territory "this is fucking mine,all mine" he grips your waist fucking you harder

"ugh y–yes d–daddy fuck me harder" he seems to like the daddy kink "daddy kink huh,i love it" he whispered to your ears still fucking you senseless "does mrs.lee k–knows that her daughter is a f–fucking slut around my cock,huh?"he said burying his cock deep inside you as you arched your back.

yoongi's pov

she is a moaning mess,i haven't done this for a year i can say that she is really good at this. i can't lie i am enjoying her company,i want her always beside me,she is making me happy and most of all she's making me good but i'm not sure about the feeling "f–fuck daddy,y–yes!!" she moans as i fuck her harder than ever "y–you will forget y–your name baby girl" i laid y/n on her back parting her legs wider to get better access on her g-spot.

"am i hitting it huh?f-fucking answer me" i said as i push harder inside her tight pussy "y–yes y–yoongi" she moaned "l-look at me" i command as she open her eyes straightly looking into my eyes,she is driving me insane.

i can feel her clench on my cock warning that she is cumming i fastened my pace harder "i-im cumming!" she moaned loud "cum with me"i burried my face on the side of her neck saying dirty words," i fucking l–love you" he said.with one last hard thrust her cum collided with mine. i gently pull my softened dick outside her pussy and pecked her lips. "thank you y/n" and then collapsed on her side still chasing our breaths.

"for what?" she asked "for staying and taking care of me,erm and being a good friend,i guess?" she looked at me with her angel eyes. she don't deserve someone like me,she deserves someone who will treat her better "i'll clean you up". i said "n-no i can do it,s–sorry i–im leaving." why? after all she will leave? she stands up gathering all her clothes and wearing them one by one.i respect her decision to leave so i let her.

you pov

yoongi collapsed beside me after chasing our highs he finally speaked up "thank you" for what? "for what?" i replied "for staying and taking care of me,erm and being a good friend,i guess?" friends. friend of course i am just a friend,you want this y/n now accept the consequences.you just filled up his needs not his empty heart. "i'll clean you up" he said "n-no i can do it,s–sorry i–im leaving." i think we will both needing space after this incident. i leave wearing all my clothes and drive home.

i should've stayed but i feel like i was used. i know i liked it too but still he called me as his 'friend' fucking wont make us official and i know that so that i love you doesn't mean anything to him?

at home

"hello?y/n?why did you call at this hour? is there a problem?are you crying?" dahyun asked me so many times but i still sobs and cry like crazy "y–you were right,i shouldn't make decisions i will regret!" i cried even more remembering what happen between me and yoongi "it's all going to be fine y/n. you just loved knowing he doesn't finish loving someone else,sushhh its alright just cry it all out,ok?you have work tomorrow you should be beautiful" but i still cry

"dahyunnnn! i love yoongi!!!what should i do?!" she sighed after saying a word "just talk to him,thats the better thing to do y/n do not avoid him or something. just talk and say what you really feel all this time". she is right.

after weeks i will finally showed myself up for my last day im hospital as a nurse.i prepare to go to work,putting make up on because i cried a lot last night. i sat down on my bed looking in the mirror,theres so many boxes on my room,yup i am slowly packing all my things since yoongi and me became really close friends . i am preparing to leave since then.

after 1hour i arrived at the hospital,i am scheduled to shin hyenmin today i guess its really a bad day to start to. i go inside the hospital changing my clothes into nurses clothes. i can't see where my mom is,i guess she is busy. i gathered the tray with injections ready to go to yoongi's girlfriend,im in the front of her room door "you can do it y/n" i slowly open the door and peeked who's inside. its a group of boys talking to each other i can't see the others face but i assumed they are 7 guys including yoongi.

i finally made it inside and talk like a professional nurse "excuse me sir but i need to inject this to her today...you can all stay but um just move aside." i smiled at them not even looking at yoongi, "wait–y/n is that you?!" one guy speak up i can't see his face but when yoongi moves i finally saw him "jungkook?" its him,the one who organized my house in u.s "i thought you already leave the country–" he was cutted by the other guy and said "let her inject something on yoongis girl bro" the boy said with a boxy smile "um oh yeah sorry i carried away" after injecting on hyenmin yoongi goes to her not even sparing a glance on me,holding her hand.

"wah yoongi really love hyenmin" its a guy with a wide shoulders. "y/n can we talk?" jungkook said. "um-yeah sure,ummm outside?" i point my thumb outside the door and we both talk there. i saw yoongi looking at us but when he knew i was looking he looks back at hyenmin. "um see you later guys,just gonna talk with this beautiful lady here!" jungkook winks at them "nice one jk!"a cute like a sun guy said and i blushed and the bowed goodbye at them.

"sooo~what is it?" i asked him "yoongi hyung is talked us about you,a lot." he confronts me "b-but.how?why? r–really?" why did he do that? "we don't know either but we knew yoongi hyung so much and we know something bothering him,he seems very happy now we thought hyenmin wwas awake but he said it was a girl he met on piano class" jungkook explained "he has hyenmin,i am just,a friend"

I lowered my head and interwined my fingers together as jungkook hold my hands "no y/n i'm not here as your organizer. im here for my hyung he loves you. hyenmin cheated on him a lot but still he stays thats why she has an accident because hyenmin chase him when he ran away caughting her cheat and he blamed himself."

yoongi never told me that. but still. he still love her. i knew that,the way he looks at her,kiss her lips and hold her hands. not just because we had sex doesnt mean he loves me more like i said i fulfill his needs but not his empty heart.

"the hardest thing to do is to watch someone you love,love someone else." i cried,again. jungkook hugged me as friend and told me everything will be fine. they always say that but everything will not be fine. "so are you still leaving the country?" he asked breaking our hug. "um it was planned year ago before i fell inlove with yoongi,so it is still on plan"

—inside hyenmins room—

hoseok : yah!guys look at our jk he is making a move to a girl,im so proud!

as they peak through the window of the door.

namjoon : wahh he is really good at girls!

jimin : our maknae is holding a girls hand!!

seokjin & tae : let me see!!

yoongi : can you all be quiet!!! move!!! let me see!!!

seokjin : yah yoongi-ah just accept the fact that you like her! and stop being jealous they're probably 'friends' like you and her.

he teases him that pissed him off even if that is the fact.

tae : jin-hyung is right hyung we all know the fact that unnie cheated on you but still you blame yourself on what happened so you can't let go.

yoongi felt weak at their words.

yoongi : shut up. i wont leave hyenmin for any other girls out there.

jimin : lol hyung then stop talking to us on how happy you are when you're with her.

yoongis pov

they are all right,but hyenmin and i didn't broke up,i just ran away. my thoughts were gone when we saw hyenmin slowly opening her eyes. "CALL A DOCTOR!! hyung she open her eyes!" namjoon shouted i ran to hold hyenmins hand "are you awake?" i said in gentle voice. "y–yoongi,babe is that you?" she said while crying 'babe'? the doctors came and told us to step outside the room to check up on her when i saw jungkook and others leaving and y/n packing her nurses things.

"so?she's awake,congrats!" y/n said with a weak smile,i still dont know how to face her after what happen to us "i–im sorry y/n,i know i fucked up but–" she cutted me telling me words i was scared to hear "no need to apologize yoongi,none of this are your fault.

I wanted this at the first place,be happy with her make her smile,i know you love her more than anything.its funny actually how a person can break your heart,and you can still love them with all the little pieces.ha ha why am i tearing? sorry tears of joy". but i know deep inside i was heartbroken after all it was my fault.

dahyun was right i shouldn't make actions just like that but she was wrong that i will regret this because yoongi is the best choice i've chosen.

"go to her yoongi,i hope we can still be friends. ju–just forgot what happened to us like you said,you thank me for being a good friend and now i am and i am proud that i am your friend." i cannot stop my tears its just flowing on its own.

yoongi cannot even speak a word to me,i guess he is speechless haha "y/n i love you as–" as much as you think . i put words next on what he supposed to say "friend,i know yoongi. i don't really know why i'm still hoping but just wanted to tell you that i love you so much,not as a friend or a piano classmate,but as a man. thank you,you made me happy even in a short period of time.i will never forget those times we we're hanging out but you recieved a call from hospital because of hyenmin haha i cannot stop laughing when you forgot to brush your teeth that time,i missed you a lot" i confessed.

is this my way of saying goodbye?when i decided to walk out for fresh air yoongi stopped me by holding wrist "y/n i– i am really sorry for everything,can you please give me some time to figure this out?" he said as i looked into his watery eyes "make it up to her yoongi,i know she cheated on you and you took blame on what happen to her but– she still needs you there. i just filled up you needs but not your heart and i guess we should stop this unknown thing between us,lets go back being just 'friends'" of course i was hurr by my own words but i think thats for the best of the both of us.

he freed his holds to my wrist as i kept on walking outside the hospital for my last day.

Its all messed up.

also last day in this country,tomorrow will be my flight.

yoongi's pov

i was standing there dumbfounded and also,heart broken. people are calling me "sir ms. hyenmin is looking for you" but that all sounds blurry to me,i only think of y/n right now. is she leaving me? can i live without her presence beside me? without her cheering me up every fucking single day? do i love her? those are questions in my mind. "sir ms.hyenmin is looking for you" the nurse said. they way i feel jealous when she's with jungkook is already an answer . i love her . i just need to talk to hyenmin.

"yoongi,i've already talk to your dad and he wants you to be more realistic and marry someone who can help this hospital and the company bigger" my fathers friend,a doctor said i have enough for this shit,i should marry someone who i love not like this "how many times did you all tell me that?aren't you all tired?" i frowned my eyebrows and ask the doctor another question "how is she?"

"i told her to sleep for an hour,i need to talk to the parents but since they are not here pls tell them that their daughter suffered mild amnesia like i said when the accident happened,it has a big impact that affect her brain. the medicine we're giving to her will help her and will bring her memories back to normal.i'll go now let her rest" he said then go.

i messed up everything,i lost y/n. i lost a friend or should i say a love one.

i told hyenmins parents what happened and they begged me to help hyenmin until she fully regained memories and then i can go and broke things up between us. i dont want to agree but they were begging me to the point they get on their knees.

how about y/n? how about us? i'll comeback to you y/n i promise.

after 1 month hyenmin continues her treatment and regaining memories,i can tell that she is healed now. she took photos of us and post on her sns people really think we're fine but little did they know the man that keeps on going on her room when she is still in the hospital said to me that he is hyenmins secret affair. mentally,emotionally,i finished everything between us. i will broke up with her when she remember that she cheated on me. i wouldn't let her hurt me again.

"hey jungkook? how's y/n? i think she changed her number i reached for her mom but she is not in their house dad also told me that her mom quit her job. look i am asking you because you know her,right?" even its on phone i can feel that jungkook is nervous to tell me something.

"hyung i am very sorry but y/n told me not to tell you this–"

"just tell me that happened man!" i nearly shout.

"as you can she she changed her phone number and sns account so you cannot find her. she is currently on US now,she left the evening when we talk–"

my world seems to crash. all this time she were far from me. no one dare to tell me even dahyun.

"we're in contact,she opens up to me sometimes. she even told me that she is stalking hyenmins account and said 'they look happy' she is not yet moved on hyung,i dont want to tell her what you really feel it is something you should tell her so i get out of your boths business,im really sorry hyung but i hope this will help you"

"no– it's fine man no need to apologize i–i fully understand you intention" after that we said our goodbyes and he gave me y/n's account to just let me visit her account or apologize to her after all what happened.

i will promise to apologize to her and bring her back. I just need to clear everything to hyenmin.

your pov

i cant say i am living my best life now that i am far from the person i love the most,i feel lonely even having lots of friends here in US i feel really empty and sad.

the worst feeling is knowing from the start that its never gonna happen. knowing from the start that he's just too good,way out of your league. feeling concious about how look when time will come you two will meet again and what you do and yet,you try anyway.

you have daydreams and imagines and you just wish evenythough you know that he will never choose you. but the absolute worse is when he told you directly that he only sees you as a friend.

And somehow your heart just wont listen.

I hope there's a lifetime that waits for us in other side of the universe.

you're a good dream sadly i was awaken

should i make part 2?????😭

sorry for wrong grammars,english is not my first language. also i give credits for some quotes and words i used for other part i added. thank you so much. this is my first ever fanfiction i am very sorry if this is bad.

#bts suga #yoongi smut #bts smut #taehyung smut #bts jungkook #jungkook smut #jhope bts #bts namjoon #bts jin #bts jimin #yoongi fanfic #fanfic #yoongi x reader