#but for every fucks sake

[ronkeyroo]

got another medical procedure in the hospital in a few days, i dont know how to feel about this anymore.

The apathy I feel every time they threaten my situation with cancer while giving zero effective treatment literally numbs my senses. Im just tired of them, im tired of this illness. i bow to nothing and to no one , but what im dealing with is far too complex to be resolved under sheer determination. i just wish i wish i didnt have to ever experience such a fucking nightmare to begin with, my heart burns with the heartache of enduring this state and what it leaves me with every single day that passes. It breaks my spirit to even dare let myself linger over how strong i used to be in the past, the countless atrocities i survived with my body shouldering through it all and yet its now when i finally left the abusive life & household i rotted in so long ago that this goddamned illness struck me.

Theres nothing i can do at the moment but allow myself any significant bit of rest and whatever self compassion i can try muster, whatever happens, ill see what ill be able to do.

#ventful howling #i want to heal. i want to heal already i want this all to be over #everything i hear from the doctors is how theres nothing i can do about it but prevent the inevitable with shit medications that dont work #ive been running on spite and self effort purely the entire time and practically going rouge but im still struggling so much #i know why i got this god forsaken illness. i know this period of my life calls me to undo the mess it manifested after what i lived through #i want to have what it takes to beat this #but for every fucks sake #i keep repeating those words in my head and making the physical steps towards any bit of recovery but #the fear is still there. and i cannot even cope with it - so i force it out under apathy. it doesnt feel right #nothing does at the moment #i just #ill stay hopeful and hope this wont cascade into the worst of it #ill share whatever update i can when those results reach my hands

[bixels]

Just gonna have to wait and see, right? Just wait and see! Just gotta wait and see! Who knows, we'll just have to wait and see! It's anybody's guess, we'll just have to wait and see! The future is exciting, we just gotta wait and see!

#personal #my art #Fuck your fake ass 'i am very smart!' intellectualizing “observations” and open your god damn ears. #do something for fucks sake. it's sickening seeing videos of ai crap and seeing rows and rows of repliers using their one brain synapse #to type “wow! very exciting!” “haha this is kind of scary! but in a really interesting way!” #and then they go about their day without a second thought while creative industries burn around them #i go to one of america's top tech schools too and it's enough to make you wanna tear our your hair #every day it's seminars and talks about “the potential consequences of ai!” when the consequences are happening NOW #NO MORE DISCUSSING NO MORE INTELLECTUALIZING NO MORE SOCRATIC SEMINARS NO MORE DEBATING. ACT YOU COWARDS #people are getting hurt RIGHT NOW. stop pretending to care when you clearly don't! just be honest and say you wanna make money #my time here has really made me hate academic spaces. you people are so god damn useless and cowardly.

[thechekhov]

Not to be dramatic but please don't let tiktok convince you that your indoor, couch-potato dog needs a bath every day or even every other day.

The amount of videos I see of people bathing their dogs that suggest they're making this a part of some daily routine is giving me the vapors.

Unless your dog is rolling in manure, playing in the ocean, or rolling in dirt and then coming over to sleep on your couch DAILY, then they DO NOT NEED A DAILY BATH.

Over-bathing your dog CAN actually damage most coats. They will not benefit from constant shampooing and washing. Just let them live. Brushing and de-tangling long coats has WAY more benefits and way more dogs need to be brushed daily than bathed daily.

#i love seeing dog videos but i hate seeing dog videos where the owner is like “and for tonights bath we will use this special shampoo” #at the risk of pissing on the poor #I AM NOT SAYING BATHING YOUR DOG OCCASIONALLY IS BAD #sometimes they do get stinky #but not every day for fucks sake #not even every week #unless they are dirty obviously

[magdelanesingerin]

Geralt and Jaskier

#Every damn time #the witcher #jaskier #geralt #Awww for fucks sake. I guess I'd better save you.

[syqy]

a largely incomprehensible presentation

(quotes from Brian Eno and Photoshop, 1995)

#syqy #ffxiv #fandaniel #ffxiv hermes #final fantasy xiv #color #i need to stop staring at this for my own sake so im just going to post it #when you fuck up so bad in your first life you permanently etch your worst memories into your soul to haunt you in every subsequent life

[ghostlygunk]

sometimes i remember that ib fan twitter user tht was diehard insisting abt how mary did nothing wrong in the story and how garry was apparently in the wrong

#ib spoilers #SCRYBE.txt #i understand their angle though #mary is just a child and i do feel for her. her entire thing is very sad and i wish there was a way to bring her into the real world #without having to let garry die as well. #however with everything ib and garry have seen throughout the fabricated world #of COURSE garry's going to assume the worst when he finds out mary is also a painting. almost every living painting/art piece/etc. that-- #him and ib have encountered have wanted to harm them. fuck's sake the first time you see garry in the fabricated world is him-- #on the verge of death BECAUSE of one of those living paintings. of COURSE he is going to immediately assume 'oh shit she wants to hurt ib' #which she does indeed attempt to do when she finds out garry knows tht she's a painting #like it SUCKS. and i wish there was a better way but at that point she does actively want to hurt the two and actively tries to #in my ideal world there's an ending where you can save them both :( #i really wanna play the remake

[voxpraxis]

sorry but i’m tired of books/media with softcore trans guy protags who are wimpy and anxious and never stop thinking about how trans they are and have a flowery little romance with a guy who calls them cute. like that’s all good and fine but where are my trans guy protags who are straight up gross. evil. covered in dirt and blood all the time. give me a trans guy character who spits and kills people and fucks to the death and doesn’t give a shit about shit PLEASE i am begging you

#write trans men indistinguishably from cis men you cowards for the love of god #for the record i am not saying soft flowery trans guy characters are bad #it’s just that EVERY media representation of a trans guy that i’ve ever come across has been like that #no offence but i would rather read a book about a trans guy who just straight up murders children for fun #than have to read one more book about a trans guy who stresses out over passing in high school #fucking g o d #AND WRITE ADULT TRANS MEN FOR FUCKS SAKE #ENOUGH WITH EVERY TRANS GUY CHARACTER BEING 17 #WHAT THE HELL #anyway lmao #op #trans #transgender #trans man #trans guy #ftm #books #reading #lgbtq #lgbt #rant #1k #2k

[transmechanicus]

TSA has an insatiable lust to fondle transfem tiddy

#my stuff #fucks SAKE every time i wear even the most stealth bra their shitty body scanner thinks i got an almond scented vest on #so obv they gotta ‘just check’ pat down my chest

[heseipikmin]

Her design looks like a "Male | 21 | Artist | I like to draw cute girls" generic hornybait Twitter artists oc.

Meanwhile, her weapon straight up looks like it's ai generated because I have no fucking idea what I'm looking at.

#typhon arknights #her design sucks is what i mean #like for fucks sake John Arknights you think thats enough anime moe girls #also shes the new “glorified beat the game button that can speedrun Patriot in 6 seconds” that everyone is gonna fawn over for powercreep #which means im gonna pass on the next “glorified beat the game button number 59323” because im not a cringe Meta Slave like everyone else #i heard viviana is dropping on EN soon and shes apparently a bad operator which means i can add her to the Badknights Niche #arknights #besides if every operator had thr capacity to solo every stage by themselves the game would be boring asf

[markantonys]

i don't know if i'll ever be over the greek tragedy shit of mat hearing that he's fated to stab rand, avoiding rand to protect him and in so doing making rand think that mat has abandoned him, then rolling up at a battle to save rand's life only to accidentally stab him just like the prophecy foretold. sophocles is shaking.

#the ROMANCE!!!!!!!!!!!! #wot #wot on prime #the wheel of time #cauthor #mat cauthon #rand al'thor #i eat up accidental self-fulfilling prophecies every time they make me crazy #and there were not enough of those in the books for my taste. some! but not enough (for me) #instead it was mostly #'ah shit i hate that X is fated but it is so i'm going to actively try to cause it to happen even though i don't want it to happen' #that's all well & good for stuff like rand grimly trying to fulfill TDR/TLB-related prophecies for Duty's Sake i do fuck with that #but when you bring that kind of Prophecy Attitude into more personal matters that's where you lose me #like if this had happened in the books mat would've stabbed rand on purpose just because min told him it was inevitable djkfg

[mewtwo24]

Something about Hua Cheng's expression here is killing me--I know this is supposed to be a delicate moment of reassurance but the pure hater energy radiating off of him is just immaculate

#tgcf #hua cheng #xie lian #hualian #words cannot express how much I love hua cheng being a hater #hua cheng in this pic is that energy when you keep spamming the A button when an npc you don't like won't stop talking #like his face when lang qianqiu keeps going on and on about his parents meeting an untimely unjust and grisly end #is so 'it was hundreds of years ago and it wasn't even gege's fault for fucks sake grow up' #'leave my goddamn wife alone he raised you with love and diligence' #'you had your bloody revenge what more do you want. figure it out far away from us.' #spoken like a true ghost king who slaps eming every single time it expresses a single inconvenient emotion he has #every day i have to resist the urge to gush about hc he's just hilarious and peak every single time i love him #no notes just banger after banger after banger #that's the face of a man who was orphaned as a child and clawed his way through life to survive and keep his loved one alive + well #a bastion of unmoving strength for 800 years #unmoved by the whining of a young man born with everything and mourning the loss of his innocence way past his expiration date #10/10 hua cheng you've done it again #hc said 'oh? a traumatic life event? we have several dozens of those git gud' #and honestly i mean that with no malice i just feel like lang qianqiu is old enough to start parsing the world in a more nuanced way ;;;;; #as much as xl thought lying to him was the best outcome hc was right--the truth d o e s matter--and not just to absolve xl #its also about giving lang qianqiu closure and moving on. about qi rong facing the consequences of his actions #so much of what is wrong with the heavenly court is the obsession with maintaining appearances over being sincere #and so much of what hc adores about xl is that xl was never really interested in those empty words and empty sentiments #he truly wanted people to prosper and live well no matter the cost to himself

[anti-ao3]

society: why are so many young ppl developing eating disorders and other mental illnesses???

also society: you will only be truly happy if you lose weight/if you're skinny! that's self-care! 😘

#the mental health tag on tumblr is filled with the same skinny white women going to the gym every single day #and btw i know the gym itself isn't the problem #exercising isn't the problem #it's how society romanticizes it for the sake of losing weight #they say it's not about 'aesthetics' but it's still definitely about body image lol #also i feel like they exclude disabled ppl who aren't able to exercise #or can't afford a gym or doesn't have access to one #it's still fucking ableist!!!! #lotus.txt #ableism tw #fatphobia tw #ranting #ranting in tags

[rainymoodlet]

ivory had the whim to “eat and learn an experimental dish”… so she invited her new friend eva out to the fountainview to do just that! 🥂 oh, yeah, and she ordered food, too 😏

#ts4 #ts4 screenshots #ts4 gameplay #ts4 legacy #;tjol+ #sim: ivory #sim: eva #eva capricciosa #ts4 townies #|| #so ivory randomly decided to go down from the apt last night #and ‘flirtily introduce’ herself to an unmadover eva #(this is ratboysims’ fantastic makeover to begin with) #and they hit it off immediately?? #so i naturally gave her a ridiculous makeover bc mamacita is SLEPT 👏 ON 👏 #fucks sake she’s so hot 🥵 like i’m sry but i would do unholy UNHOLY things to all that woman #also a woman who orders for the table?? so hot come on 😩 #she ordered only the finest wine and food ok the tab was like $250 #and ivory paid every fcking penny 🙏 #ngl right after this… oh man fhdhd #i love this game sometimes #this is a queue’d post but jsyk!!! i love you all! 🥹

[shiraishi--kanade]

"Go to hell" is basic. "I hope your proseka fav's room makes no sense" is possible. It has happened before. It's terrifying.

#jay rambles.txt #an shiraishi #project sekai #in other words: every An and Akito focus I succumb to The Horrors #on one hand I want them to FINALLY show us An's room. for fuck's sake. it's been three years #all of her emotional turmoil always happened at WEG give her some damn privacy #on another hand. what if it's Boring. what if it's Bad. what if is not what I want from An Shiraishi's room #my condolences to Akito fans out there we hold this line together #let's hold hands

[3amsnek]

a very merry birth to our most logical boy :]

click for better quality

reblogs >> likes!! don’t like if you don’t reblog!

#logan sanders #sanders sides logan #ts logan #ts fanart #ts art #ts logic #sanders sides fanart #logan sanders fanart #sanders sides #thomas sanders #literally Howmst the Fuck did I get this done holy shit #almost there kids!! we’ve technically done all of them but I’m gonna try to do em all in a Calendar year as well just because. I am. #apparently a masochist why the hell am I doing this again #context: one year ago today I realized it was Logan’s bday panic hed posted a random coincidentally finished thing of him I had on hand #and then vowed to draw a finished piece for Every T.s Character Birthday for the next year. absolute lunacy but here we still are #continuing for the sake of Spite if nothing else #i make. good choices #hypothetically it’s really not that bad it’s like less than 10 I think over a full year #and obviously tons of people Do do this every year #but of course in the interim i have been diagnosed with ‘oh yeah basically everything’s just gonna Hurt Forever sucks for u man’ disorder so #getting less and less realistic to set. kind of Any art goal anymore :’/ #and like yes yes this is also the year i decided to do pride dragons for every identity celebration day I could find #very aware #one Certified Fool right here

[uncanny-tranny]

If you truly want to do what's best for mentally ill people, you have to learn that you often won't be able to separate the "salvageable" parts of ourselves with our illnesses, and you can't pretend like we are sane people underneath the façade of insanity, like we can flip a switch and magically erase the differences that make us "disordered"

#mental health #mental health advocacy #i'm not sure how best to explain it but i see this attitude a lot that anything even mildly 'unsightly' must be punished or ignored... #...or fear mongered... #...or this idea that we *are* just secretly... not disordered and that we can choose every single aspect of our disorders and how... #...that will impact us and our world #it's really hard to explain if you haven't experienced it yourself. it's so hard to know that who you Fundamentally Are is seen as unhuman #that you cannot be disordered and seen as an equal in so many scenarios is precisely what i mean by 'if you want to do right [by us]' #we shouldn't HAVE to present as non-disordered or non-ill just to be treated like a person #i shouldn't have to be forced to pretend like my illnesses are an optional part of who i am that OTHERS should ignore so they can 'love me' #my illnesses are intrinsically tied to Who I Am. i will never have the opportunity to know what Being Sane is like and i shouldn't... #...have to pretend like that isn't the case #it's just fucked up to me to know that people would rather that we just... ignore often fundamental parts of who we are for *their* comfort #maybe that's how i'd word it? i find this a very complex topic but at the core... #...the idea is that we shouldn't have to fucking live a lie for the sake of the 'normal' folk #(obviously 'normal' isn't accurate on a technical level but it conveys how i see the conflict)